#i can’t decide if i want her to be more femme or butch or futch

[lyriumsings]

realizing why my art takes me so long sometimes but is so quick others and it’s bc ✨designing characters takes a long time ✨ lmao

[eldorr]

Desert Enbian

Plain flag (left), Flag with stripe meanings (right)

This term/flags were originally posted June 5th, 2022.

Last year or so (actually around 2 years now upon re-posting) I made my own take on the lesbian/gay/vincian/enbian flags since I am critinclus/radinclus. However one of the two posts detailing these flags was lost, so I am remaking/renaming them, along with simplifying and cleaning up some stripe meanings.

The original flags I made were 9 stripes, and I didn’t like the way I simplified them into 5 stripes, so I’ve decided to make a simple 6 stripe one. Some of these flags will look very similar to the ones I originally did, and some will look way different.

This flag is coined as a Enbian flag, however anyone who is Q4N (Queer for Enbies/Nonbins), NLN/KLK/XLX, or identifies their attraction to enbies as queer regardless of their own gender or other attractions. (Basically anyone who feels like a enbian, but may not 100% identify with the enbian label for any reason, is allowed to use this flag, as long as they recognize it as the Desert Enbian/Q4N flag. You could call yourself Desert Cenelian/Omni/etc in order to make that connection.)

This flag stands for inclusion and solidarity within the Enbian community, and between the Enbian community, other Q4N communities, and other non-primarily Q4N Queer communities (Lesbians/Vincians/etc). Generally just look at the stripe meanings if you want the general idea, I go into more detail for my reasoning below each meaning. This is a LONG POST.

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The Stripe meanings:

Top/Vibrant Aubergine Magenta: Aspec Enbian, Monospec Enbian, and Mspec Enbian inclusion and solidarity.

The Desert Enbian flag is radically inclusive of Aspec and Mspec enbians, even though I personally haven’t seen much anti-aspec or anti-mspec stuff coming from Enbian spaces, I do remember one time two people arguing with me that Enbian’s exclusively NLN, of which it never was or will be, so here we are regardless. Monospec Enbians should have solidarity with Aspec and Mspec enbians.

—

Second Stripe/Vibrant Wine Red: Multigender Enbian, Genderfluid Enbian, Genderflux Enbian, Monogender Enbian, Xenogender Enbian, Agender Enbian inclusion and solidarity.

Of course these are not the only genders included under this stripe, however these are some of the more excluded and misunderstood even by general enbian spaces, so they’re here to explicitly say they’re included under this flag. Monogender Enbians should stand with Enbians with more complicated gender identities.

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Third Stripe/Orangy Red: Pronoun-Non-Conforming Enbian, Gender-Non-Conforming Enbian, Pronoun-Conforming Enbian, Gender-Conforming Enbian Inclusion and Solidarity

This stripe is here due to some exclusion in enbian spaces against feminine, xenine, and masculine enbies; believing that non-binary presentation can’t be masc or fem. This stripe is for explicit inclusion of she/her, he/him, it/its, neopronoun, nounself, emojiself enbians, fem, transfem, transmasc, azalean, carnatian, butch, femme, rosarian, transxen, xenic, amaranthian enbians. Gender and Pronoun conforming enbians should include and have solidarity with non-gender/pronoun conforming enbians.

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Fourth Stripe/Faded Orange: Enbian and Non-Enbian Q4NB inclusion and solidarity

This stripe is here to include non-enbian Q4N in enbian spaces, conversation, etc. This stripe stands for and includes anyone who has Queer love for enbies, and doesn’t primarily identify as a enbian. This includes saturnic, cenelian, celarsian, hecatolic, turquoian, etc. This stripe can also include enbians who are not explicitly Q4N, and may be NBLNBM/NBLNBW enbians. Non-Enbians are not the enemies of enbians, and enbians should include and have solidarity with other Q4N.

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Fifth Stripe/Hazel Yellow: Femme Enbian, Futch Enbian, Butch Enbian, Twink Enbian, Otter Enbian, Bear Enbian inclusion and solidarity.

This stripe is here partly for the same reason as stripe number three, however with the added notion that Femme/Futch/Butch are not lesbian exclusive terms, and that Otter/Bear/Twink are not vincian/gay man exclusive terms. There may be many reasons someone would use these terms, Femme/Futch/Butch generally relate to gender-presentation, and Otter/Bear/Twink generally relate to one’s body. Of which there is a lot of fatphobia in queer communities, so this stripe is primarily here to focus on challenging what a enbian “looks like”. Butch and Femme enbians are not the enemies of Futch enbians, and Bear enbians and just as valid in their enbian identity as Otter and Twink enbians. Be inclusive and have solidarity with other enbians, even if they don’t “look like” a enbian. Challenge fatphobia, transphobia, and queermisia in your own communities.

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Sixth/Last Stripe/Vibrant Dark Olive Green: Otherwise Marginalized Enbian inclusion and solidarity.

Like I mentioned in stripe number five, there is not “look” to being a enbian. This stripe is for the explicit inclusion of otherwise marginalized enbians, whether they be BIPOC, a religious minority, trans, intersex, polyamorous, chronically ill and/or disabled, neurodivergent, fat and/or a bear, etc. Include and have solidarity with other enbians, whether or not they’re like yourself. Challenge bigoted rhetoric in your own communities.

[artlessictoan]

Hi and sorry that it is not butch or femme but what do you think about genderfluid!Sakura? Do you have hcs?

i don’t think i’ve ever considered genderfluid sak before but???? yes????????? this is some quality shit???????????????????????? as thanks for this spiritual awakening, have some off the cuff hcs!

knew fairly early on in life that she didn’t always feel like a girl, but had no way to describe or understand what exactly that meant until naruto began transitioning in school. she was very interested in what being trans meant and would pester him with questions when they were on long missions, he was the first one she told about her own gender confusion

went through a period where he thought he was just a trans guy but still had times where she really wanted to wear cute dresses and do makeovers with ino, after much experimentation with labels and presentations he just decided fuck it and let himself be whoever he was that day

predominantly masc-leaning, with a few fem days a week, feels agender at random times, shifts happen during the day rather than waking up a different gender, but there’s no real schedule to it

it’s usually pretty obvious which gender he is at any one time and he’ll let you know what pronouns he’s using pretty quickly (though they is usually accepted as a compromise), one time for her birthday naruto gets her a double-sided necklace with ‘girl’ on one side and ‘boy’ on the other, so she can just flip it around whenever her gender shifts and she can’t easily change her presentation (eg if she’s at work)

even in fem mode, her style is more futch than femme and she rarely bothers wearing makeup (though she does like buying and hoarding it, just in case)

experiences mild-to-moderate dysphoria when in masc/agender mode, the biggest cause being his breasts, he has top surgery in his twenties, after which the worst of the dysphoria goes away and he’s much happier

[firebirdscratches]

slightly invasive gay asks I decided to do all of them :D If you’re in the alphabet soup and you wanna play along, consider yourself tagged.

1. what’s your gender? I’m a cis woman, even though I’m also intersex. (I was raised female and identify that way.)

2. what are your pronouns? She/her. I’m fine with they/them, especially from online peeps.

3. is your family accepting? Happy to say yes, they are. They could be better on some fronts, but that’s okay. They love me and they’re trying. That’s what matters.

4. what do you wish you could tell your past self? Don’t marry him.

5. what is your sexuality? I’m pan and gray ace. 

6. favorite color? Blue

7. sun gay or moon gay? Hmm...that’s a toughie. I’m probably Moon gay because I’m such an insomniac...but Sagittarius is a fire/sun sign...and I am excited about summer....hrm...maybe I’m a Twilight gay. The sun is juuuuust about to set, and in the other side of the sky, where it’s darker already, you can see the moon and a few stars. <3

8. when did you find out your sexuality? LOL buddy, when I figure it out I’ll let you know. There were signs even when I was a kid, but it took me forever to find a label I liked. I was basically questioning clear through college, and then settled on bi, and then pan, and then figured out I was ace, so...in five years who knows?! Basically, by senior year of high school I had serious suspicions that I was Not Straight™ and by sophmore year of college...yeah there no room for doubt anymore. X,D

9. how was your day? OMG thank you for asking??? It was okay. I went to work....then heated up some leftovers and watched the West Wing. Nothing to write home about, but most of them are like that, when you’re an adult. “This is water,” and all. 

10. do you have any gay friends? LOL yah we tend to congregate

11. what’s your favorite hobby? I sing and act and write fanfic :D

12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion? Janelle Monae. QUEEEEEEN. 

13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise? The original rainbow flag has to be a fan favorite, right? And I like it with or without the pink, and I especially like the recent edit to include black/brown. As far as the aesthetic goes, I like the sapphic flag. It’s sooo pretty. The butch lesbian flag too! Also I think it’s weird and hilarious and perfectly fitting that no one can agree what the Queer flag is, there’s like, twenty different versions and that’s honestly just so queer and great. XD 

14. are you openly out? Unfortunately, you can still get fucking FIRED in this day and age for being queer, which is cruel and ridiculous and makes me so furious. So I am not out at work. I am out to my friends and out to my family. (And to my partners, obviously, when I have them.) Truthfully, you’re never 100% out, no one walks around screaming their sexuality constantly so every passerby is AWARE, you can’t inform the entire planet at once...you continually come out throughout your life based on the situation in which you find yourself. I do resent that I can’t be out at work...but I think I would resent unemployment even more :/ Bitch gotta eat. 

15. are you comfortable with yourself? LORD no LOL. But I’m comfortable with my queerness.

16. bottom or top? Switch. But this question overly simplifies the power flow in a sexual relationship, I find? It’s fine to get a general idea, but the answer’s always more delicious and complex.

17. femme or butch? I define my aesthetic as “Lazy femme.” It says “I like looking womanly, but do not have the money, time, or skillset to constantly tic all the boxes of Femininity.™" In other words, I don’t shave my legs and I wear jeans and clunky comfortable shoes, but I also wear dresses and dye my hair pink, and some days I go whole hog and do my make up. So...Futch? :/

18. do you bind? Nope, only for a play once. And I did it with ace bandages like a moron. Stay safe kids.

19. do you shave? Nah. I have very light/scanty hair anyway. If I didn’t, I’m not sure if I would or not.

20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be? Drew Barrymore and Chris Evans. Both. Happy lil’ triad. (Maybe hook up occasionally with Aidy Bryant or Chris Pratt, just for funsies.) Oh! no wait! Mark Ruffalo. I bet he’s terrific in the sack. And I love his brain and his politics. WAIT Janelle Monae? Tessa Thompson AND Gal Godot.......okay being pan is difficult. -_-;

21. do you have a partner (s)? Alas, no. :( I had a girlfriend for a bit, but it didn’t work out.

22. describe your partner (s)? Tender lesbian, black, musician...insecure, can be kind of passive aggressive. :/ I still think she’s a really cool person and we’re trying to do the friends thing.

23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex? Yup

24. anyone of another sex? Yup

25. pastel gay or goth gay? Goth

26. favorite dad in dream daddies? I dunno, it seemed kinda fetishistic to me, but most dating sims do?...not passing judgment on folks who like it, it’s just not really my bag. I guess I like the design of the bear Dad.

27. tell me a random fact about yourself? I am blowing on my nails right now so they dry. Indigo-for-it by Essie Treat Love Color, kind of a cornflower grayish blue. (See, I’ve got some femme rattling around in there).

28. do you own any pride flags/merch? Yes! I bought them at Target last year. And I ordered some custom T-shirts for my parents and my best friend.

29. have you ever been to a pride parade? NOOOOO AND I SO WANNA GO I think this year might be the year!

30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who is exploring themselves? It’s okay to be questioning, you don’t need to have it all figured out yet. It’s okay to be closeted, you aren’t lying to anybody and you aren’t a bad person, some things are private. When it’s time, you’ll know. Don’t let anybody rush you, either to pick a label or to come out. Also? If you wanna say you’re [label] then go for it, there’s no registration fee, if you feel like that you are like that. And you can always change your mind later. People who say differently are called “gatekeepers” and are to be avoided. The gay experience, like all of life, is messy and complex and way too weird and wonderful to be overly simplified. You are you. Just listen to your heart, listen to your body, and trust what it’s telling you.