#i can turn forgetting to post for like 5 days into themes

[co2016]

DAY... wait, thats not how the story goes. youre losing track of time. are you sure you can remember things correctly?

[whereisten]

To Be Forgiven

FT: Suguru Getou & Nanami Kento

Pairing: Suguru Getou x Nanami Kento x reader Genre/Themes: sMUT! Convent (nuns and priests), angst Warnings: Threesome - F/M/M, vampire priests, loss of virginity, praise kink, light BDSM (rope use, spanking) overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oral sex (m and f receiving), rough sex, blood mention, gaslighting, devotion, voyeurism, degradation, dumbification, creampie, character death, vampire priests Word Count: 8.8k

A/N: WELL... this is probably the dirtiest thing i've ever written, and I know its not kpop or nct based so im sorry for that. It was HEAVILY inspired by these two posts: https://x.com/polariae/status/1722684591079673876?s=20 https://x.com/kimmy_art0912/status/1721731893622714594?s=20 (so please take a look to get a good image in your mind before you start reading hehe the artists are amazing) Also, this in no way is meant to offend Christianity or the world of Catholics, the theme is only used for fantasy. Sorry if it's a little messy, i just had to get it out of my system. Dont forget to leave a comment if you like it! Thank youuuu xoxo

Freedom felt good. That’s what you thought to yourself the moment you stepped off the bus and onto the new convent you’d be living the rest of your life in. You’d finished college, graduating as you set out to do and now came the next step: devoting your life to Christ. 

Your parents didn’t understand your desire to live this way, but they supported you nonetheless. With tearful eyes, they bid you farewell and swore to stay strong until the next time they’d see you.

You drag your luggage to your room and sit down on your bed, inhaling and exhaling the fresh air slowly. 

“Hi! You’re new here!” A woman dressed in her holy tunic stands in the middle of your open doorway, her hands placed in front of her as she smiles.

You smile back. “Oh..yes! I just got here actually.”

“That’s wonderful, welcome to our home, my name is Khadija and I hope I can help you at some point, my room is a few doors down if you ever need anything!” She waves as you nod. 

“Thank you, my name is Y/n.”

She nods as well and walks away.

A few days later, you’ve started speaking with other nuns in an effort to gain an understanding of how things normally operate. 

“At 8 A.M, we have breakfast together and then continue our studies in our assigned classrooms. Should you need anything, I am always here.” Sister Nancy, your neighbor, walks with you to breakfast. She guides you through the convent and provides helpful information.

While at breakfast you try to get to know her better. “How long have you lived here?”

“Hmmm…time has sort of..run away from me…” she looks puzzled as she stares at her bowl of oatmeal. Almost as if lost in thought, her voice trails off and eventually becomes silent.

“Sister Nancy?”

“Oh! Yes..about 5 years.” She nods and looks back up at you. Once at the end of your breakfast you stand up and bring your trays to the cafeteria where you can toss any trash.

“Sister Y/n..” Nancy says quietly while walking beside you.

“Yes?” You look at her curiously.

“I must tell you..when you study, when you learn how to best serve God here..please be wary..”

“I’m not sure what you mean..” your brows bunch together.

“Well..the priests here are great, devoted and caring..but there are some who..may not have good intentions.”

You place your trays down and walk together in the hall towards your rooms.

“Men of the cloth are always good, Sister Nancy, what do you mean by this?”

“They should be good..but they are not, be careful and stay steady in your faith, do not lose sight of your goal..”

She stops while you continue walking. 

“But Sister, who-?” You turn to look at her, but suddenly, she is gone, not even the breeze from her departure surrounds you.

You stare into the hall. “Sister Nancy?” You call out, but it is empty and eerily quiet. You turn back towards your room and bump into a large chest.

“Oh!”

You stumble backwards, but the tall, sturdy figure grabs your arms to hold you still.

“I am so sorry..”

You look up slowly. 

The man has long black hair, feline-like eyes and a tempting smile. You quickly look away and onto the floor as your mind starts to desire more than just this embrace.

He chuckles and it’s like angels have started to sing from heaven. “My apologies, I should’ve walked more carefully.”

He finally lets you go.

“You’re new here, right?” 

You look back up at him, a strand of hair gracing his beautiful face perfectly as he smiles. 

“Y-yes..I’m Sister Y/n..please forgive me for-“

“Ahh no need, Sister Y/n..please continue..my name is Suguru by the way, if you need anything, just let me know..” He steps to the side to let you pass, but never lets go of your wide eyes.

You wondered how such a young man could become a priest. He looked dark and mysterious, unlike any of the other priests you’d seen before.

[The Next Day]

You’re heading to your first class where you��ll be taught by Father Nanami. You sit down in your chair comfortably before looking around to see if you can find Khadija and Nancy. To your disappointment, they aren’t there.

Then, he walks in. The blonde man with small glasses makes your jaw drop. He is just as tall and young as Father Suguru, but he looks stern and serious.

He places his books down and looks around at the class. “Welcome, let us begin, please open your pages to the verse written on the board.”

He sounds just as strict as he looks, no “good morning” or “how are you?” He jumps straight into business.

He is also your personal counselor, but you aren’t sure if you’ll be visiting him often.

Later that day, you go apple picking with Sister Khadija. 

“Would you like to tell me of your life before you chose Christ?” Khadija asks, gently picking a ruby red apple from above her head.

“Sure! I was happy..I graduated college and felt I’d done it all..but somehow, I still felt empty. Then one day, I overheard a sermon on the radio..and I felt..I felt this urge, a calling, rather. I felt the need to participate in something much bigger than myself, and so I decided to devote my life to Him.”

Khadija smiles. “That’s very nice.”

“And what about you?”

“Oh..I..don’t quite remember, but yes, I did feel the calling as well.”

You nod slowly, then smile quickly to cover up your worry. How could she not remember?

“That’s great!”

As you’re walking back with baskets full of apples, you turn to her. “I didn’t see you in Father Nanami’s class today, do you have a class with another priest at that time?”

Khadija stops, dropping her basket as her eyes widen. “Wh-who’s class?”

You kneel down and begin to gather the apples that fell out. “Father Nanami..is everything okay, Khadija?”

She dips down to pick her basket up. “I’m sorry, Sister Y/n, how clumsy of me.”

“It’s okay! I-“

“But Y/n, Nanami is not a great instructor..I would recommend another professor..”

She looks into her eyes as your hands touch while reaching for the same apple.

You frown. “He seems to be very serious about his work, I feel I can learn a lot from him.” 

Khadija shakes her head. “He..is dangerous.”

You stand up straight and laugh. “Are his exams that bad? I figured he’d be a harsh teacher, but I look forward to the challenge!” You grip your basket and continue walking.

Khadija looks at you with a worried expression. She wished Nanami was a harsh grader, and nothing more, but unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.

[One Week Later]

You step into Nanami’s office to ask a quick question.

“Father Nanami-“

Suguru stands next to Nanami’s desk, flipping through one of his books before gazing up at you slowly. 

“Hello, Sister Y/n.”

You nod. “Hello! I’ll come by later.”

“Wait a moment, you can speak with me if you’d like.” He says smoothly before sitting in the chair.

“Oh..is Father Nanami not available today?”

Suguru smirks when he senses your unease. “He will be back in about an hour, what is it you’d like to ask him?”

“I-I’ll ask him tomorrow, it really is no problem.” You turn to leave, but he stops you.

“Are you enjoying your time here, Sister?”

He intertwines his fingers in front of him and places his chin on top.

You turn back to him and smile. “Yes..but to be honest with you, father, I’m not sure if I’m worthy to be here.”

He tilts his head slightly, a dark glimmer presents itself in his eyes..or are you just seeing things? “What makes you say that, Y/n?”

The absence of “Sister” from his sentence and the way your name rolls off his tongue makes you shudder, but the feeling quickly leaves you as you clear your throat.

You look to the floor. “I don’t know, it’s probably nothing more than nervousness.”

Suguru leans back. “Of course you are worthy, Y/n. Do not worry, Christ lives through you at all times.”

You look back up at him and return his smile. “Thank you, father.”

You leave and release a deep breath you'd been holding. Something about him made you..unsettled. You didn’t know why, but as you walk back to your room, you shake the feeling off, never noticing his eyes on you from the doorway.

A few weeks pass and you notice that you often see Father Nanami walking about the halls and chatting with other Priests or Nuns. Suguru is hardly ever around, but honestly, you didn’t mind it. The long-haired temptress reminded you of the sin that still resides in your heart. The sin of lust. You couldn’t deny it anymore, and it forced you to visit the chapel more often.

You could resolve this impure feeling if you just prayed and believed in your Lord.

Apart from that, your time at the convent was going well. You bonded with your Sisters, and learned from Father Nanami as well as your Bible.

Some nights, however, you wake up randomly with the doomed feeling of being watched. 

“Hello?” You say quietly as you turn your bedside lamp on and peer out into the corners of the room. There’s nothing, there’s no sound. You only hear your trembling breath. There’s a slight chill in the air and it makes you grip your blanket tightly. 

This would happen around the same time every night, but you brushed it off to you being nervous. After all, you’re in a new home, surely it would take some more time for you to get used to your new bed and room. You tried to brush off the thought that part of these strange occurrences had to do with your room being just a few feet away from a cemetery.

You couldn’t go back to sleep most nights so you’d stay up and read your Bible until the sun rose.

To make matters worse, you didn’t see Nancy or Khadija as often, you couldn’t talk to them about how your nights had been going.

[One Week Later]

You run into Father Suguru for the first time in a while. He was just leaving Father Nanami’s office when he collided with you while turning the corner.

“Oh!” He laughs, his smile causing his eyes to crinkle. Your heart weakens at the sight.

No. Remain firm.

“I am so sorry, Father Suguru.” You step back and bow slightly.

“It’s alright, Sister Y/n, how have you been doing? You look tired.” His smile falls when he notices how dark your eyes have gotten since the last time he’d seen you.

“Oh! Really?” You rub the side of your neck and look to the floor. “Is it that obvious?”

He nods. “What’s wrong? Are you having a difficult time here?”

You shake your head. “No..no it’s not that..it’s just-“

He steps closer, looking down on you intently with knitted brows.

“You see..I’ve been waking up…in the middle of the night..feeling strange.”

Suguru smiles slightly. “How so, Y/n?”

And once again, you felt anxious about his tendency to omit your title.

“It’s nothing, Father..I’ll be-“ movement behind him catches your eye. You see a nun now down the hall quickly.

Nancy.

“Sister Nancy! Wait!”

You call out, but she doesn’t stop.

You look back at Father Suguru. “I apologize, sir. I must be going.”

He nods and watches as you walk by him.

You run after Nancy who quickly turns a corner. “Wait!” You try to call after her again, but once you turn the corner, she’s gone.

Things were getting weird and you didn’t know why. The sudden disappearances, the disturbing stillness and chill at night, it all made you worried.

That night, you wake up as usual, but this time, you finally see a figure. You aren’t sure if you should feel relieved or frightened at the sight.

You turn your lamp on before turning back to her. “Sister..is everything okay?”

Sister Khadija stands at the foot of your bed with dark circles under her empty eyes. Her lips are gray and her hair is unkempt. You’d never seen her like this before.

“W-what’s wrong?” You sit up in your bed.

She only raises her hand and points to the window behind your headboard.

You stand up and look outside of it, but nothing is there, only darkness.

“Sister Khadija, what’s going-“ you turn back to look at her, but she’s gone.

Goosebumps engulf your skin as the room suddenly feels much colder. You open your door quickly to see if she has gone to her room, but no one is there.

You’re seeing things. You just need to sleep more, that’s all.

You close your door again and climb into bed. You clutch your blanket then reach for your Bible, praying that Sister Khadija is sleeping soundly in her room.

The next night, the same thing happens, but this time with Sister Nancy. 

“Nancy-“ you wipe your eyes and focus on her face.

“You have to leave.” She says softly then runs out of your room. 

You jump out of the bed and run after her, ignoring the fact that you’re inappropriately dressed in just your nightgown and running through the halls of the convent.

You run fast, trying hard to not lose her this time. You needed answers. Why were they both visiting you at night? What did she mean by “you have to leave?”

But after running for nearly 4 minutes, you finally lose sight of her. You stop and look around in hopes of figuring out which dark, gloomy hall you’re in. The walls are lit by candles, making it difficult to figure out, but you’re sure that you’ve never been in this particular corridor before.

*thump*

Your head flicks toward the end of the hall where a loud banging sound comes from.

You walk towards it and hear it again.

As you get closer, you also hear soft groans and whispers.

Your hand hovers over the door knob. Should you enter? What do you expect to see? Someone that could help you get back to your room?

Without much thought, you turn it and push the door open slowly.

Your eyes widen at the sight.

It’s Priest Suguru on a bed. 

You gasp. He’s tied up with thick rope and completely naked. His head hangs low as he watches a nun’s head move on his lower half.

“Slower..yes..just like that.” His intoxicating voice fills the room. You step back and the sound of your foot just barely dusting the wood causes his head to snap up.

You cover your mouth.

His eyes are red and glow in the dim lighting of the candle lit room.

But what’s even more frightening is the blood that drips from the corners of his mouth. His chest heaves as he smiles wickedly. You tremble at the sight of two large fangs in his smile. 

“Y/n…” he calls out softly to you. Your eyes refuse to leave his body. Your knees feel weak as a mixture of emotions flood you. Fear, confusion, lust- you become too overwhelmed to speak.

The Sister below him releases his dick from her mouth, causing a ‘pop’ sound to echo. She turns around to face you, her mouth drips with blood and her eyes glow as well. She wipes her mouth with her fist before standing up and walking towards the door. 

You stumble backwards, your eyes still focused on Suguru behind her.

And then, the door slams in your face.

You snap out of your gaze, feeling your body experience a shock unlike anything you’ve felt before. What did you just see? Was it real? No, you had to be dreaming. Suguru, a holy man, would never—

The gorgeous sounds of his moans fill your head.

“Stop!” You say to yourself as your eyes grow teary.

You start running away from the door. You had to find your room, you had to repent immediately. How could your lustful mind conjure up such a degrading image of a priest? You’re disgusting, you’re unworthy of the Lord.

You pray you can be forgiven for your sin, but the sudden wetness in between your legs tells you that it may be too late.

———

[One Week Later]

Fortunately, you hadn’t seen Suguru since that night. You still weren’t sure if you dreamt it or not, but you begged God every night that it wasn’t real. 

“Are you okay, Sister Y/n?” Father Nanami interrupts your thoughts. You look around the classroom to see you’re the only one still there.

“Oh! Yes, Father, I apologize..I’ll get going.”

“You look tired, get some sleep tonight.” He says before grabbing his briefcase and leaving.

“Yes, Father.”

That night, you tossed and turned. You had vivid dreams of the halls and the people you saw every day. Your dreams were more realistic  than ever before.

You then start to dream of that dreaded night..but there is something different.

You feel your wrists are tied to your head board, your legs are pulled apart by large hands as you wiggle on your bed. Your nipples are perky, peeking through your gown, and you can feel your slit leaking.

You look down and see him. His hair is tied up and his upper half is naked.

Suguru crawls over you slowly.

You moan when you see his low gaze on your body.

He lifts your gown up and kisses your stomach with his pillowy soft lips. He works himselfvall the way down to your entrance. You can feel his hot breath fanning it.

“Father..please.” You close your eyes tightly and beg, and with just the sound of this one desperate plea, Suguru licks in between your slit.

Your back arches instantly. 

Finally.

His mouth on you feels amazing, you can’t stop moving your hips in an effort to get more from him.

He grips your thighs tightly, pushing them even further apart to lick and suck all parks of you.

Your moans grow louder, your breathing becomes quicker, you’re so close.

He reaches up with one hand under your gown and caresses your breast.

“Look at me.” He demands.

You look down as he drapes your leg over his shoulder and licks at a faster pace.

You lock eyes with his red ones.

“Faster..faster..please..I need more.” You cry out.

And Suguru follows your commands all while watching you writhe under him.

And with one final flick of his devilish tongue, you cum.

Your eyes fly open, you jump out of your sleep while panting.

Another lustful dream.

How could you betray God like this? You can't control your urges, it’s becoming a distraction and a serious problem that needs to be dealt with.

You start to cry quietly and decide that it’s time to get help.

You get on your knees and begin to pray until the sun comes up for only God could banish these cravings and impure thoughts.

———

[The Next Day]

You visit Father Nanami after class.

“Hello..do you have a moment?”

“Yes, come in.”

You close the door behind you and sit in front of his desk.

“How can I help you, Sister Y/n?”

In your time at the convent, you’d never seen him smile, and you certainly didn’t expect to see it today.

He looks sternly at his laptop, awaiting your reply.

You swallow hard, where should you start?

“Father Nanami..I saw..Suguru the other night..he was..he was tied up and in a strange position and he…he was partaking in scandalous activities with another Sister..”

He stops typing and looks up at you over his screen.

“But father..the strangest thing of all is that his eyes were red and his mouth dripped with what I think was..blood..it was..it was terrifying.”

“And yet..you couldn’t look away..could you, Sister Y/n?”

Your eyes grow. Nanami saw right through you and instantly knew of your sins.

“Father..I’m so sorry, I must beg for forgiveness.”

He takes his glasses off and places them onto the desk. He shrugs. “Why?”

You’re confused. “Because..because I saw the devil and had impure thoughts, Father! I’ve sinned, I’m unworthy of being here.” You bring your hands to your face and start to sob in them.

“Shhhh..no need to cry, Y/n..simply beg for forgiveness and do as he says..”

You nod. “Yes, father, I will visit the chapel right away and live as God tells me to, I-“

Nanami chuckles. “No..no Y/n..beg him for forgiveness..”

“..him?” You look up slowly.

“Father Suguru is the one whose image your impure mind has desecrated without reason..surely, you don’t think what you saw was anything more than your lust taking form in a dream? You imagined Suguru as something completely opposite of who he is, and you need ask for his forgiveness as he is the human embodiment of God..we all are, isn’t that right, Y/n?”

“Oh..I see, I apologize for not understanding..I will go to him right away.”

Nanami nods. “Good girl.”

You look to the floor to not see his smirk. But you can feel it in his tone and it’s strange.

You go to Suguru’s office in the evening when everyone is leaving to prepare for bed.

“Father Suguru..?” you say softly, but feel worried as you stand in his doorway.

“Oh. Sister Y/n..it’s nice to see you.” He gives a sly smile.

You nod.

“Close the door.” He sets aside a few books and sits down.

Like before, you find it hard to get started, but know you must in order to become a better Christian.

“Father..I must confess and with this confession I hope that you will not change your perception of me..I-I hope you will forgive me and allow me to continue to grow in this establishment.”

“Sister Y/n..you don’t believe you are worthy of being here, so why should I believe it?”

Your mouth falls open.

A smug look crosses his face. “You’ve come here to ask for my forgiveness, but have you forgiven yourself?”

“Father..I-I don’t follow.”

“What is it you’d like me to forgive you for? For watching..for craving..for..wanting to not only feel the devil but to taste him as well?”

You step back and gasp. “Father! I would never-“

“Oh, Y/n..sure..I’ll forgive you, but I know that’s not the only thing you desire.” He stands behind his desk and holds his hands together in front of him, his grin never leaving his face.

“Father, I only wish to absolve myself of my sins and live purely. It is the goal that I-“

He waves his hand. “Sure..sure..but tell me Y/n..how did it feel?”

“H-how did “what” feel?”

He walks closer to you, making more and more hairs on the back of your neck raise with each step.

“The lust, the desire…the craving..”

“I-I don’t know..it felt..”

“Strange, right?” He smiles widely.

”I’ll forgive you if you’ll allow yourself to indulge in your fantasies tonight.”

“No!” You back away from him.

“My dear Y/n..these thoughts will only go away if you give in for just a moment.”

“So what I saw the other night..was real?”

“It’s as real as you want it to be, Y/n. Tell me..do you want to feel what it’s like to be tied up and at the mercy of another?”

You tremble.

“Hands can roam along your skin, press into your thighs and collect the slick building in between your slit..fingers part it to allow way for my tongue to taste you and draw out your long withheld moans. But I won't stop, not until you’ve really felt me inside, making you the perfect size for me, pushing every breath out of your body. Not until our bodies become one and you’ve cried out to God for release.”

“Father..” you breathe heavily, his lips just inches from yours.

“And with your hands tied behind you, you’ll have no choice but to bounce on me until I’ve said I forgive you..even if it takes all night..you’re mine to control. In every position, in every hour..we’ll gain a brief moment in heaven together..only then can your sins be absolved.”

You swallow hard.

“You watched the devil and you liked what you saw..are you ready to fuck him too?”

Suguru’s eyes become a deep shade of red.

“How can you say such obscene things? What are you?” You stare into his eyes.

“A servant of God..of course…but I’m also the one that can make you feel so..so good.” he places a hand on your neck and tilts his head.

“But you..you’re..”

“Yes..Y/n..go on..say it.” His eyes follow your lips.

“A demon..”

He chuckles and his eyes float downwards. “And you’re as wet as you were that night..so shall we?”

“How can you..live in the house of God?” You look up with wide eyes.

Suguru lifts one corner of his mouth. “You see..I use my abilities for good Y/n..just one night and I shall remove the impurities from your blood, would you like me to?”

You hesitantly nod. He takes you into his arms and cranes down to your neck.

You grunt at the sudden move.

He then digs into your neck, causing you to yelp, your head falls back over his shoulder. The pain quickly turns into a pleasurable feeling as he sucks your blood. Your body relaxes in his arms. He pulls away and tilts your chin toward his to kiss you deeply. It’s your first kiss, so he leads you into it, caressing your lips slowly, mixing your spit with your blood. 

Your eyes close as you feel his tongue dance over your bottom lip. You relax more and more into his arms and embrace the feeling of his broad chest against your back.

He pulls away and looks into your eyes. “Do you wish to feel more? Do you wish to indulge your sins and be absolved of them thereafter?”

You nod, feeling your willingness to leave dissipate after his kiss. He smiles. 

“Very good, Y/n.” He says before sucking again.

He takes you to a room lit with only candles.

He carefully removes your head cover and dress, then pulls his rope out from a closet. 

He ties your hands behind your back, and continues to create intricate patterns across your body, making sure to kiss you every now and then. His cold fingers brush against your skin, sparking fires.

You feel vulnerable, but follow his every move and command as you kneel on the bed.

He removes his collar and lets his holy robe drop to the floor. You stare at his magnificent body causing him to laugh out. “The lust in your eyes is delicious” he puts his hair up in a bun, but a part of you wishes he’d let it stay down so you could run your hands through it.

You turn away in embarrassment. “I’m sorry father, I-“

He turns your face back to his and continues to kiss you. When he pulls away he runs his thumb along your bottom lip. “Are you ready?” 

You nod.

He lays down under you, fixes his face between your thighs and begins to eat you out as you cry out his name. 

With his hands on your ass, he forces you to move back and forth onto his face. Your ankles are tied to the same rope that binds your wrists, forcing you to stay open.

“Father!” You cry out when you feel the tip of his nose rub against you. You rock your hips back and forth on your own. 

More, you need more. That’s all you can think as his tongue explores you.

He groans against you, sending amazing vibrations through you.

“So sweet..your scent has driven me insane since you first stepped foot inside this convent..”

He groans and begins to buck his hips into his own cuffed hand.

He can’t wait to feel you around him, he can’t wait to drain you as you tremble and lose it all to him.

Suguru sucks your clit harder at the thought.

You yell out at the unexpected action and move faster.

Just then, Nanami walks in and stands at the end of the bed to watch.

“You really are trying to let God hear..”

You jump up and look at him, but Suguru digs his fingertips into your thighs to keep you still.

“Father Nanami! Please..forgive me.” You shut your eyes tightly, holding back your tears while cumming all over Suguru’s mouth.

Nanami palms himself through his jeans.

The casual look suits him very well, but you’re still embarrassed to let him see you like this.

He walks over to you, caressing your face with one hand and zipping his pants down with the other. “Shhh..open your mouth and all will be forgiven.” 

He rubs his thumb along your bottom lip, gently pushing downward.

You do as he says, doing your best to fit all of him into your mouth. Laying your tongue out underneath it, you push forward and taste the saltiness from the precum leaking out.

Suguru kneels beside you on the bed and watches.

“Yes, good girl, you follow instructions so well.” Nanami removes his collar and shirt now too.

You choke slightly after feeling him hit the back of your throat, but you keep going, bobbing slowly as your spit builds.

Suguru now licks your nipples, eventually biting into one and sucking your blood once more. You groan from the pain, sending vibrations onto Nanami who grunts and curses. 

He puts a hand to the back of your head and begins to thrust into you. Tears prick the ends of your eyes, you can barely breathe. If your hands were free, you’d use them to cover a few inches. If you could talk, you’d tell him to be gentler on you. But you take it all, knowing that you’d be forgiven if you bring both men satisfaction.

You moan as you feel your throat become raw.

“She’s being such a good girl..” Suguru smiles wickedly before licking up the blood around your wound.

Nanami finally releases along the bottom of your throat, choking you as tears fall onto your cheeks and your eyes become red.  You wish he’d tell you you were a good girl, but the stoic man simply says “Swallow.” And looks down on you through laser eyes.

You do as he says, swallowing every drop and hoping that it will somehow purify your soul like holy water or wine.

He pulls out. “Ahh good girl..” he finally smiles, using his thumb to collect the spit that escaped and putting it back into your mouth. Suguru kisses you to taste yourself as well as Nanami. Nanami caresses his hair and your head as well.

“Am I forgiven, father?” You look up at him with wide eyes.

He looks down at your breasts and neck, aching to bite into you so he can grow hard again.

Suguru then kneels in front of you and begins to cup his hand around his member. The tip is red and dripping with precum, you stare but Nanami grabs your hair to pull your neck back.

“There’s so much greed and lust in your eyes, you’ll have to do much more than that to gain forgiveness.”

He pushes you down so you now face Suguru’s member. 

“Open that filthy mouth of yours again.”

Nanami kneels on the bed behind you and begins to eat you out.

His tongue is lighter than Suguru’s, just applying kitten licks, but that somehow makes it hotter. You can’t help but move more in an effort to get closer to his lips.

Meanwhile, Suguru’s head falls back as you take him into your mouth. 

He isn’t as patient as Nanami thrusts into you while groaning, causing a yelp to escape you. Your throat, still raw and irritated from being pounded into by Nanami, still closes around him well. He whimpers and places his hand onto the back of your head.

Nanami adds his fingers to open you up more and you throw your head back. “Father!”

“So wet and pretty..this tight pussy of yours needs to be made ready.” 

He pushes in and out faster. You pull away from Suguru as Nanami’s fingers stretch you out.

“Slower, Father..please!”

“Focus on me, Y/n. It’s my forgiveness you should be seeking.” Suguru takes your chin in his hand and forces you to look back at him.

Nanami bites into your thigh, sucking harder and faster. You’re shocked to see that Nanami is the same as Suguru, but your focus shifts to the amazing feeling of being sucked from the area closest to your opening.

You quiver and clench around his fingers before moving up and down on them on your own.

Your moans send vibrations onto Suguru, and combined with the sight of your ass being up, he quickly cums in your mouth, leaving you a crying mess as he forces your head down. You choke while feeling the strings hit the very back of your throat once again.

You cum along with him, Nanami continuously pressing into a sweet spot. It feels too good to explain, but you know you’re too sensitive for more.

When he pulls out, you flick your head back to Nanami who continues to finger you.

“Father! I can't take any more.” You beg Nanami to leave your aching opening be.

You collapse into the bed and pant. Suguru laughs 

“We’re just getting started sweetheart. You’re ours tonight, then you’ll be God’s forever.” He says as he ties a collar around your neck. He then unties the rope around your legs. He hands the leash to Nanami who sits against the headboard. He tugs you back, wasting no time to grab your thighs and spread you apart over his lap. 

He forces you down onto him as you face Suguru. Suguru smiles again then flicks a thumb against your nipple.

In one move Nanami starts to enter you, causing you to squeal and attempt to run from the penetrative object , but he is just too strong. 

“You know it’s her first time, be gentle, Father.” Suguru chuckles.

Nanami tugs your collar hard, “how could I forget? This pussy is reserved for God, isn’t it? the blood will be even sweeter if I go harder, don’t you think?”

“Hmm only one way to find out.”

Nanami pulls you down hard, burying everything inside you at once. You lift yourself up while in tears, but he grabs you again.

“Where are you going? You have work to do..take me in as you take God into your heart.” He smirks. “This is the Godly dick you’ve been craving, isn’t it?”

“T-too much, Father Nanami, I can’t take it.” Heated skin against heated skin, fingertips digging into your skin to leave a permanent impression and the way you can’t stop dripping for them, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before.

You should feel shame, but you don’t.

“Tsk tsk..you need to prove yourself worthy, Sister Y/n..need I remind you of why?”

You shake your head, tears leaving your eyes as you are stretched out. “It’s my first time, father, I do not know-“

“Just relax and move..”

His hands are stable on the inside of both knees. He begins to bring you up and down onto him. “Yes..just like that.”

You’re wide open for Suguru to see, with just rope around your body. You should feel embarrassed, but there’s something building in the depths of your stomach.

Suguru looks you up and down and sucks your neck as you move. His large hands rest inside your knees to help you move up and down. 

Nanami’s hand reaches around your waist, his fingertips part your folds and rub circles into your clit. 

It feels amazing, you moan louder and bounce faster. “Father! I’m..I’m going to—“

“Yes, sweetheart, cum for me…”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, you want to stay still as you feel your climax rush over you, but Nanami continues to thrust into you.

Suguru releases and begins to touch himself again. “Ahh you taste so good.”

“Does she? Let me try.” Nanami pulls your collar, forcing your neck backwards. He bites in hard, still bringing you up and down on his member.

You whimper at the feeling, but shake soon after, cumming twice with just a few seconds between. You feel dizzy, you might pass out. But you also don’t want the men to stop. 

Nanami keeps moving as you cry out, your head falling back even more.

You move faster to get his orgasm, he pushes you forward once he's done sucking, kneeling behind you to rail you from behind.

You feel the collar tighten as he pushes harder, forcing your face down into the bed.

“You should feel shame for cumming before me, the holiest servant of God, what makes you think you are higher than me?”

He pushes even harder, making you cry out loudly. “I’m so sorry, father! I didn’t mean to!” You turn your face to the side to breathe.

Nanami spanks your ass hard, causing a breath to leave you and you clench around him.

“All the more reason for this exorcism to take all night, isn’t that right Y/n?” Suguru looks at your strained arms, feeling himself grow unbearably hard with your sweet blood still on his tongue.

“Yes, father, I will do whatever you wish me to!”

Nanami pulls the collar and spanks your ass again. You grunt and close your eyes, you can’t stop clenching around him.

“More father..please, I deserve this.”

A snicker escapes him and spanks you repeatedly as he fucks into you hard, leaving you gasping for air with each thrust.

Suguru kneels beside him and watches while touching himself.

“I’m going to cum inside you, if you let a drop escape, you will have disappointed God. Do you understand?”

You nod. “Yes father. I will keep you in.” You squeal.

He holds your warm ass onto his pelvis as he cums deep inside you.

“Fuck..so fucking good.” Nanami curses while listening to your whimpers.

He then pulls out and leans down to make out with you. You’re enraptured by his aggressive kiss, it’s as if he wants to take every breath out of you.

Suguru licks up the blood that trickles down your leg and moans. “You were right, Nanami. It’s sweeter than the apples and berries outside.”

Nanami pulls away, watching the string of spit that connected your lips drop onto your chin.

“Then she’s ready for you. You’re welcome.”

Suguru laughs then wastes no more time to enter you.

“Suguru!” You cry out, hoping that he’d give you a moment to recover, but he only laughs harder.

“Come on, Y/n, you’re supposed to be ready for me.”

You cry into the sheets, but Nanami lays under you. He hugs your upper body tightly as Suguru fucks you just as hard as he did.  

He sucks your neck, his fangs digging into another vein to pull out your impurities.

Your opening is silky and easy to move in, so it doesn’t take long for Suguru to cum again. 

“Ah-ah…father!” You climax with him, seeing stars while Nanami drains you.

Suguru pushes everything inside you as well, cursing as he watches you clench around nothing and shake. 

Nanami slides out from under you and leaves the bed. You pant and roll over onto your back, hoping that you’d finally be forgiven and welcome into the convent after tonight.

Suguru unties your rope, allowing your body to be free.

However, he can’t get enough of your blood, sucking your wrist while you gather your sanity.

Nanami then pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his jeans pocket. He sits 

 on the bed with his back on the headboard.

“Ride my thigh, sweetheart.” 

You shakily get on your knees and put your hands together in a prayer position.

“Father..please grant me forgiveness..”

He blows smoke into the air and smiles. “It wasn’t a question. Come over here.”

You do as he says, crawling over his impressively muscular thigh and grinding against it. He watches you through half lidded eyes and the sight makes you clench. Something about his disheveled blonde hair and the cigarettes he presses in between his swollen peachy lips makes it all hotter.

Suguru lays down beside him and smokes his cigarette as well. “Look at her, a whore that thinks she will be absolved of her sins.” Suguru chuckles.

“In all my 300-something years of life I’ve never pitied anyone more.” Nanami takes a drag.

You continue to move back and forth, but a sense of worry crosses you. “Father..I..what must I do?” You whine.

Nanami looks down at his hard member, having grown quickly since drinking your blood. 

You hurriedly move over it and grasp it in your hands. You may have grabbed it a little too hard as Nanami grunts. “Careful, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You carefully align it with your opening, but you’re too nervous to bring it any closer.

Nanami hands the cigarette to Suguru. He swats your hand away and grabs your waist, pulling you onto him with ease. You whimper, trembling as you adjust to his large size once more.

Your hands find his broad shoulders. 

You begin to bounce slowly. “Is it good, sir? Can you forgive me?” It’s a genuine question but you can’t help but feel ridiculous after hearing the desperation in your tone.

Nanami’s eyes are focused on the way your bitten breasts move. Your velvety pussy glides onto him easily, but he needs more. More of your blood, more of your essence.

He flips you over onto your back and sucks your right breast as he fucks into you hard, moving the entire bed as you squeal. 

“Too big!” You cry out after his animalistic move. He pounds into you without hesitation. Not caring if anyone heard the lewd sounds created by his thighs hitting yours, or the creaking bed hitting the wall repeatedly. The rush of your blood flowing from your tender breast and into his mouth as well as the sight of the muscular man in between your bender, sweaty legs makes you quiver.

“Now this!” thrust “..is how you take dick, Sister Y/n.” He smirks, pounding hard again. 

“Oh God!” Your head falls back as you are stretched out. It’s painful, but you cannot escape Nanami. He sucks your breast and places one hand around your throat. 

Your nails dig into his back as he drives you crazy. 

“Yes, Y/n, tell God how good your sins feel.” He pushes harder. 

You shake your head. “It is wrong to feel this good while sinning.” Your tears flow in a steady stream, you feel as though he may just rip you in two.

“Says who?” He grins wickedly. 

Your mouth falls open, you don’t know what to believe anymore.

He stops moving, you look down with furrowed brows. “Do you want me to stop, Y/n?” The corner of his lip tilts up slightly as he already knows your answer.

“No-no, Father, please contin- Ah!”

Before you can even finish, he’s back inside your depths again, molding your pussy around him like he will forever own it.

“Open your mouth wider Y/n..” Suguru takes the cigarette out of his mouth and kneels beside your head, pushing his member into your mouth.

He enters your mouth, thrusting in just as deep as he did before. You gag and Nanami smiles. “I much rather hear you gagging like this.”

Suguru smokes nonchalantly as you are ruined by both of them. You feel open and raw, your mind is mush and you are beyond sensitive. Your hips hurt from being open and your arms hurt from being bound before, but somehow you feel amazing.

They both watch you lose your innocence, your purity, and are happy to be at the center of it all. The sorrowful look on your face as you do anything for forgiveness, your eyes wet with tears and your mouth open, chin covered in a mix of spit and their cum drives them both crazy. There is nothing on your mind except how to please them and yourself.

“Cum with me, let us enjoy this moment together.” Nanami squeezes his hand around your throat then rubs your clit with his fingertips again and you both cum. 

Your voice becomes hoarse from yelling out their names all night. You press onto his abs as your eyes roll. Suguru pulls out to watch your wet lips overflow with a mixture of cum and spit.

“You fucked her stupid, Nanami.” Suguru giggles.

Nanami pulls out of you quickly before taking the cigarette from him.

“She’s even cuter now, isn’t she, Suguru?”

He sits back and watches as Suguru flips you over and grabs your leash, pulling your neck back as he fucks you from behind like a wild animal, moving so fast, all you feel is a vibration against your sweet spot.

“Mhmm our cute slut..don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll take care of you. Just keep gripping me..fuck..that’s my girl.”

He pushes in and pulls out completely, watching as his dick drips with so much slick.

Nanami blows smoke out and leans back. “Ask the slut a few questions, see if she even knows her own name.”

Suguru pushes back in. 

“Think you can just dream of these things and be forgiven, sweetheart?”

“Yes, father.” You grip the sheets beside your head, feeling as though you may lose consciousness at any moment. But the way Suguru makes you feel is too good to miss. You hope you can climax with him just one more time. Your body needs him, your pussy needs him.

“How badly do you want to be forgiven, will you please us all night long, is this pussy ours?”

“Yes, father.”

“You’re good at obeying, aren’t you?”

“Yes..father.”

“If you keep yourself from cumming, you’ll be forgiven, how does that sound?”

Your eyes widen, you look back at him and shake your head. “Sir..I don’t know if I can-“

He thrusts harder and pulls back.

“What was that?”

He leans over you, grabbing both of your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head.

“Obey..me..Y/n..or spend an eternity in hell.”

“Yes..father I will obey you!”

And this would’ve been possible had his fingers not been playing with your clit, you’re in tears as you try to hold back.

You feel his sweaty abs flex against your back, you hear his low and loud groans.

His hot breath fans the back of your neck.

You can’t possibly hold back.

Then, he bites into you, sucking your neck, drawing out blood to cause even more pleasure. “Father! Please! No more! If you do, I’ll-“

He moves his fingertips faster. 

You cum and shake, unable to hold yourself back. Suguru laughs and cums as well, holding your ass fast against his hips.

“Ahh I guess we’ll just have to keep going until she proves she is worthy of forgiveness, Father Suguru.” Nanami smiles.

Suguru falls back onto the pillow while Nanami drags you by the waist and down into the bed beside him.

You hang your head low in embarrassment. 

“Why so sad Y/n? We’ve got all night to absolve your sins.” Nanami says as he enters your sopping entrance once more. Suguru lights another cigarette and blows the smoke into your face before kissing you and fondling your breasts.

“Fa-“

“Huh?” He thrusts into you from behind. “Can’t hear you..”

“Father-“ you go weak, your eyes closing tightly as you are overstimulated.

Nanami holds you close, thrusting into your weak body while he chases another high.

“Yeah..sound it out, baby.” He chuckles lowly into your ear.

He bites into your shoulder, not caring just how much blood they’ve taken from you tonight, only caring for the euphoric feeling that comes from it. Blood rushes into his mouth and straight to his dick every time, the ecstatic feeling is just as good..maybe even better than an orgasm.

He moves his fingers onto your clit and you let out a high pitched moan.

You cum again with him, this time ruining the sheets, but he only touches your chin covered in drool. 

“Good girl..”

Suguru drags you back over his lap, “Move pretty girl..don’t disappoint God..again.”

He angles you over his dick and slides you down.

You move up and down onto him despite being so tired you might pass out.

Suguru only drags a smoke and hands it to Nanami as they both watch your tired body bounce, your fucked out face, swollen breasts and neck riddled with bite marks.

“Tell us how good it feels.”

“So good..father.” Your hands run down his chest, caressing the soft bricks under his skin. 

“Is that why you can’t stop cumming like a slut?”

“Yes father.” Your head falls back, you move faster, the building in the pit of your stomach grows.

“Are you gonna cum again for me?”

“Yes father”

“Beg for it.”

“Let me cum with you father!”

“Why?”

“I wish to rid myself of sin with you.” 

He can’t help but laugh.

“Please father, I need you.”

“Of course, Y/n.” He grabs your wrist, sucking hard while still watching your breasts move.

You both climax hard, shaking while still being attached.

You lay down in between them, feeling Suguru’s lips on yours and his fingers inside you, pumping in and out as you squirm from the oversensitivity. 

You try to close your legs but Nanami forces them apart by placing them on the outside of his strong hands. 

“Tell God how good you feel.” Nanami bites into your thigh and sucks as Suguru bites into your neck. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. “So good..” The combination of the two along with Suguru’s long fingers makes you cum so hard you black out.

——

[The Next Morning]

You’re back in your room with your nightgown on.

“What happened..was it real?” You rub your eyes and turn to sit on the edge of your bed.

You feel your body, but don’t feel any bite marks. You don’t feel any difference in your private area either.

“Oh..it was just a dream.” You hang your head low and look to the floor, you then see two feet as someone stands just in front of you. Your head flicks up. “Sister Khadija?” 

She wears her nightgown and displays a sad expression. She was the same one who pointed outside that one night, but you never did see her again.

“I told you..” she points outside the window again. You turn to look, “told me what?”

You turn back to her, but she is gone again.

You get up and look outside the window, trying hard to see what she is pointing to. The cemetery that you always prayed over before going to sleep looked the same as always, except..there was a freshly dug grave.

You run outside and decide to look at the headstones and sure enough, the names of the two Sisters you met are there. 

Nancy and Khadija. 

They've been dead..for 5 years. 

“No..no this can’t be true.”

You stumble back, tripping over a pile of dirt and falling to the ground. When you look at the headstone behind you that the dirt has been dug from, you see your name.

Khadija appears. “Sister Y/n..they killed you, just as they killed us and now you are here forever..” she tears up as she watches you cry.

“No..no that can’t be true, they helped me purify my soul, I am good, I am worthy now.”

She shakes her head. “Sister Y/n..a night with the devil will not absolve you of your sins…you know this..”

You look to the ground.

“But..but why did they-“

“No, Sister, the question is why did you?”

Suguru and Nanami fed on your body until you dried out, leaving you for dead, and now..this is your hell.

[ikigaisvt]

our dawn is hotter than day.

in which you and your boyfriend says i love you for the first time surrounded by his friends.

pairing: jeonghan x reader, seventeen x reader (in a friendship way lmao dw) words: 1.6k content: fluff warnings: talk of drinking (like two times but it's not a main theme), reader sits on jeonghan's lap, reader kisses jeonghan's cheek, they hold hands, jeonghan's tucks reader's hair away from their face, pda ig?, petnames (for reader: angel, baby / for jeonghan: hannie) note: jeonghan's instagram post from a few days ruined me,, he's my bf :( this idea was mostly @homerunhansol so credits to her for this story (and for making me delusional about hannie 🫶) thank you bb! minors can interact with this fic but pls don't follow! comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated, pls don't forget

You thought when you would meet Jeonghan’s bandmates – his soulmates if we’re being truthful, that it would be nerve-recking. You thought you would be stuck to your boyfriend’s side, never letting go of his hand and always looking at him only, never meeting anyone’s eyes. No matter how many times he said in a reassuring tone you will be just fine, you didn’t believe him. You knew you were going to be anxious and there was no way around it. At least, you thought you knew.

What you never expected is – as the forever introvert you are, that you would get along with them this well. Since you walked into the place the 13 boys have rented for the weekend, it has been a constant exchange of laughter, smiles, drinks and food. Even the most introverted boys – such as Wonwoo or Soonyoung (who’s the shyest of the band, surprisingly) have opened to you. What you have realized in this little time together is that there is a snippet of Jeonghan in every single one of them. And that makes them feel like home, as if they always were just this much to you.

That’s how you find yourself, enjoying the night away, as it is still young, with 13 boys. You and Booseoksoon, which you have learned are the entertainers of Seventeen, enjoyed the karaoke together, singing at least 5 songs before the eyes of the other boys whom are clearly amused. A few times Chan joins you four to add some humor to the performance - and Seungkwan squeals every time or Jihoon adds some of his beautiful notes into the background. You have spent most of your night away from your boyfriend as he watches you from the couch, smiling and giggling, a beer in hand, at the way you are getting along so well with his favorite people in the world. It truly is a gift to see you this happy with the ones that made him into who he is.

As the night get deeper and colder, you find yourself at the campfire with most of the 13 boys – some of them being too tired to continue the night, to settle down and talk some more. Sat down on Jeonghan’s lap, in one of his comfiest hoodies, you talk and laugh with the boys as they share some of their funniest stories. You think your favorite one so far is about the famous Dokyeom and Seungkwan fight in Jeju.

It’s after almost an hour outside that you feel Jeonghan pulling you closer by the waist, resting his head on your back.

“Angel,” you hear him whisper softly.

“Hm, what is it, Hannie?” you answer quietly, turning around a little to see him look up to you with doe eyes.

"Are you enjoying tonight?" your boyfriend asks you, his eyes shining so much you wonder if the galaxy didn't find a home within him.

"Yeah, I am!" you tell him with a shy smile, knowing he's going to tease you with an I told you so even though it never comes. You see Jeonghan thinking about his next words, the teasing still ever present in his eyes when you hear a voice calling for you.

"Y/N!" Dokyeom says loudly to catch your attention, "Come talk with us!" he adds, sitting next to Seungkwan. You give them a thumbs up before turning around in Jeonghan's embrace, giving him a kiss on the cheek and squeezing his hand.

You spend the next hour or so sat down with Dokyeom and Seungkwan as you talk and laugh as if you knew each other for years. You only look up once or twice to look at your boyfriend, your eyes locking every time. If you were more attentive to him, you'd see how he'd be distracted by you, not being able to hold a conversation with anyone, including Seungcheol. He knew, when he first asked you to meet his members, that it would pull at his heartstrings. Despite all your beliefs, he knew you would fit in just well and they would welcome you with arms wide open.

He never really took the time to think about what it could mean for him. To see his favorite people love each other this much. He was hit with a wave of familiarity at the scene, as if his life always was like this, as if you were always just right by his side. However, what hit him the most at this instant, as he hears your laugh meld with Dokyeom's, was love. For some months he had been thinking of how much he loves you; he felt it mostly when you'd cook his favorite meal for him after he'd tell you practice was hard on this day, he could feel it in the way his heart would miss a beat when your eyes crinkle up in a smile or when you'd cling to his shirt, when he joins you in the middle of the night, making butterflies erupt in his stomach. But the moment he could feel it the most was right now: seeing you be your true self around his own people made him realize he wanted to provide this safe place for you for as long as you wanted him to. If you needed an island to rest on, he will be one for you.

It's after a few minutes, when Dokyeom decides to go to sleep and Seungkwan gets in a chaotic conversation with Chan, that you join him again, finding rest on his lap once more. As you talk lively with Seungcheol, the idea of playing mafia game pops up in the conversation which gets everyone excited.

After 2 mafia games - one won by Jeonghan as a mafia, the other one by the mafias again, which you were a part of, you can feel the sleepiness seeping through your bones. As you and your boyfriend were already eliminated from the current game, you fully let yourself rest against your boyfriend, your head in the crook of his neck, his hands keeping you still at the waist. You feel yourself drowsing off to the sound of Jeonghan's laughter, losing it at some of the boys' competitiveness.

"Baby," he whispers in your ear, "do you want to go to bed?"

"No, no," you whimper, shaking your head slightly, "Wanna stay here. With you." you confirm, grabbing his hand tightly.

"Okay, angel." he says in a short chuckle, "But let me know when you want to go, hm?"

"I will, don't worry. Thank you, Hannie." you say sweetly, looking at him. The stars found a home in her eyes, Jeonghan thinks to himself.

"I love you." he says in a mutter, entirely to himself, thinking you're already dozing back to sleep.

Yet, he hears your giggle and feel the smile forming as your cheeks hit the curve of his neck.

"I love you too," you answer, still giggling. "Why are you saying this so suddenly?" you murmur, hiding your head deeper in his neck so no one can see the blush covering your cheeks.

"First of all, I didn't think you'd hear that and-" he says in a pout, as you look up at him, seeing a blush on his face.

"I can't believe the Yoon Jeonghan is blushing." you tease softly as you start to play with his fingers.

"And-" Jeonghan starts again, ignoring your teasing - even though a small smile makes its way on his lips, "I do really love you. Seeing you tonight, with all of them, tugged at my heartstrings." He explains, brushing your hair out of your face, "I felt like you were comfortable around them and it just makes me want to have countless days and nights with all of you. I just realized how I want to be with you forever." he confesses, still looking down at you, your eyes welling up with tears at his words.

"You know, why I felt this comfortable tonight?" you ask, waiting for his answer which comes in a shake of his head, "Because they really feel like you. Not in the I'm-in-love-with-you way- because yeah, I am in love with you, but- I just see parts of you within them. In their actions, in their kindnesses, in their words; that's why I felt so safe. They are people you love," you say as look around to see them still playing mafia game - Mingyu on his knees, begging Seungkwan not to kill him, making you snort, "You all grew up together, you taught each other how to be good people, and you did it pretty well. I don't think there'd be a single soul who would not feel safe with any of you." you tell him, holding his hand, "I was nervous about meeting them all, I wanted them to like me but tonight I realized it would be pretty damn hard to be hated by them-" you chuckle softly, your eyes meeting, "That's why I was so myself tonight."

"They'd never hate you." he whispers, "Not because they are good people - God only knows these idiots can be petty as well," he sneers, all the love in the world showing up in his eyes, "but because they saw how you made me happy, day after day. And that was enough for them to love you. It will always be enough." he tells you, eyes still locked, "Also- I am in love with you too." he adds as Seungkwan screams out in despair for losing while Chan stands up and does a silly dance to celebrate his victory, making you both laugh out loud at their antics. You look up briefly at the sky, seeing the stars still shining bright even though it is becoming brighter as the minutes passes by. I don't think I will be able to sleep anytime soon, you think to yourself as you feel your heart buzz with excitement, your boyfriend pulling you closer by the waist. But after all, as 13 boys once said, our dawn is hotter than day.

thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked it 🫶

[mingtinys]

songs of a caged bird

pairing : choi jongho x gn!reader

angst , fluff , lore based , outlaw!jongho , strictland!au

warnings : talk of raids and death , dystopian themes , tyrannical leadership

word count : 1.5 k

requested? yes

a/n : had to brush up on my ateez lore for this one

There's a voice on the roof.

You know because you've heard it echo through the thin walls of your apartment at the same time each morning. It started three days ago, early in the morning when the city sleeps and the guards change shifts.

5:00 A.M.

On the dot.

You thought you might have been imagining it at first. Something as outlandish as singing hadn't been heard in, well, most of your life. Not in any instance without immediate consequence at least. And when you'd asked your neighbors they'd told you they hadn't heard anything of the sort. Then again, they've somehow also never been awoken by the sirens and late-night raids that take place on the streets just below your high-rise. Perhaps if you hadn't been born a light sleeper, you wouldn't either.

But now, as the sound amplifies on the climb to the roof, you're sure of it. There is a voice silkier than anything your mind could possibly fabricate, and the boy it belongs to, high above the world, shrouded in moonlight. He sits on the ledge, legs dangling over the sides, near your bedroom window. His head sways side to side, so consumed in his song that he doesn't notice your approaching footsteps.

"You shouldn't do that." You speak, and the voice halts. Though he doesn't flinch, nor seems the slightest bit startled by your interruption.

"Why not?' He questions.

The boy's dark eyes bore into your own. Tired and cast in shadows that seem to envelop everything around them. There's a blank expression scribbled across his face. Boredom.

Or is it curiosity? That still doesn't feel right.

Maybe indifference.

You can't tell.

"They'll hear you," you point to the streets, where new guardians take post around empty corners and alleyways. There's a chill to the night and you're quick to fold your arms in an attempt to block the morning breeze. "People have been killed for less. If they catch you they'll—"

"Are you going to turn me in?" The boy raises his eyebrows, like he knows you pose no threat to him. In fact, the question feels more like a tease than a presumption.

"I'm just saying, if I can hear you others can. Singing isn't allowed." Though you feel like he should already know this.

"Why?"

"Because, human emotion is the root of the world's—" You begin to regurgitate the same motto you've heard all your life, but the boy holds up his palm.

"I didn't ask you to repeat that jargon they spoon-feed you every day. Why do you think singing is dangerous."

No one's ever asked you that. They've only ever told. But never why, just that it is. Until now, you've never questioned it, and it feels like the boy knows that from your silence.

He's back the next morning. Same voice, same time, same song, same dark brown eyes. Except this time, his expression is different. He looks amused.

No. Delighted.

Actually, it's almost like a... pleasantly surprised look. Yeah, that sounds right.

"You're back." He says.

"So are you."

"I like the view."

"I live here."

"On the roof?" His eyes widen. "I didn't know rent was that expensive?"

Your brow furrows. "No, in my apartment. Below the roof."

"That was a joke," the corner of his lip turns up. "A bad one, but just a joke."

"Oh."

The boy hums, nodding as he looks back out at the city. "You want to sit?"

Part of you wants to stroll down to the 24/7 corner shop, buy a quality pair of noise-canceling earplugs, and tuck back into bed. Forget about the boy with a voice of gold and continue about your mundane life. But the other part feels an itching so deep in your bones it burrows an uncomfortable pit in your stomach.

So you sit, in hopes that learning more will quell that unbearable feeling.

"I'm Jongho," he smiles.

You've noticed Jongho has a habit of being vague. Whether it's answering one of your few questions or simply telling stories, he rarely elaborates on where his answers and tales come from.

Like on the fifth night you joined him on his ledge. When he told you of an island he'd once seen. One he claimed to be so full of color, music, art, and dancing he'd felt like he was back "home" for a moment. A fairytale, you're sure.

"—That kind of stuff is actually celebrated where I'm from." He says that a lot.

"Where I'm from." But never elaborates.

"People make a living out of it. That's what me and my friends wanted to do. But that was before..." Jongho's words peter out and his gaze falls to the distant, twinkling lights in the sky.

"Before what?"

"Before here."

There's something in his eyes you haven't seen from him before. You pin it down a little quicker than you expect. Something halfway between longing and sadness.

Whatever it is, it makes your heart hurt.

"Do you..." your eyes search the sky for the right words. "Wish you could go back? To before."

He nods. "Every day. But there are things keeping me here. People who need me. People I love."

"Your friends?"

"Yeah. Among other things."

Jongho's eyes leave the stars and settle on your face. The moon is full, and it's the first time you've been able to catch the warm, brown hue of them. Like the polished wood of a violin you'd once seen in a history textbook.

You hadn't questioned it back then, but now, you wonder how something so exquisitely crafted could be so scorned by those in charge. But then again, it wasn't your place to question such matters.

Right?

"You should really stop," you say. "I'm worried the guardians will—"

"I thought we weren't supposed to feel trivial emotions like worry?" Jongho grins. You've learned by now that when the corner of Jongho's lip lifts just enough to flash his canines, he's joking. "They might lock you up with me."

"I don't plan on being an accessory. Though I have to say, I will miss your songs." The words taste foreign as they leave your lips and judging by the way Jongho snaps his head to the side, they sound it too.

"Did you just make a joke? Didn't know they taught you how to do that at your prestigious institution." He quips back.

"They teach us a lot of things. Though I'm not quite sure how much of it to believe anymore." Lately, in classes, you've found your mind wandering. Recalling the many stories Jongho's told you and fantasizing about what it'd be like to live in a world with everything yours lacks.

He seems to think pretty fondly of his world. So much so, sometimes you think you're the one who wound up in the wrong world.

"And how does that make you feel?" Jongho presses. It's the most urgency you've heard in his voice since the day you met. It's isn't much, but it's there. Like he's been anticipating this exact moment.

You feel... you aren't entirely sure.

"Conflicted."

You haven't been able to focus on much of anything lately. A whirlwind of questions, feelings, and fear cloud your thoughts day in and day out. Sitting through classes is suffocating and the watchful eye of the android guardians feels more threatening than ever. Like once glance and they'd see straight through you and reveal the doubt accumulating against everything you've ever known.

Your thoughts alone could land you a one-way ticket straight to The Disposal.

Only when you're next to Jongho, safely stowed away above the city on your little rooftop, does the weight lift from your chest. You're used to hiding all of your emotions. Yet somehow he still knows.

"You seem distracted lately."

You've never felt a need to lie with Jongho. "I think— I feel like life shouldn't be lived like this. Void of emotion and art. The way you've described it, it sounds so beautiful. So human. I just don't understand how it could possibly be a bad thing."

There's a softness to Jongho's gaze when your eyes meet and you swear, you've both somehow scooted closer during your speech. Close enough for your thighs to touch and the air between you to feel thinner.

"Do you think it's still possible to bring any of that back?"

"I do," Jongho says it like he knows something you don't. Then again, you've always felt he knows more than he's shared. "It's easier than you think, so long as we have people like you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." No doubt, no hesitation, you do.

His eyes search your face for what seems like an eternity and then suddenly, his palm braces against your knee as he leans and his lips meet yours across the narrow distance. It's short but still leaves a warm sensation that lingers even after he pulls away and floods through your veins.

Your head falls to his shoulder and if the morning wasn't so quiet you might've missed the sigh of relief he breaths out. You can physically feel him relax against you, letting his head rest atop yours. Giving your knee one last reassuring squeeze. Whether it's for you or him, you're not entirely sure.

"Jongho?" You whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Will you sing for me?"

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Hello hello, it is time once again for, you guessed it!

Rating Clu's

Homoerotically tense

Relationships

I thought long and hard about this because I only had about 2 in my head when I mistakenly threw it out there in another post but like, here you go 😎

Have a picture in case you forgot what cgi Jeff Bridges looks like:

Behold, a guy. Anyway

1. Kevin

He is the most obvious so I'll get this one out of the way

You are me and I am you but you are the darkest parts of me but I love you anyway

This begs the question:

Would you fuck your darker self/clone

Idk about u but my heart tells me that Kevin sure would

7/10 it's about the man vs self of it all

2. Jarvis (why is this photo so fuckin big??)

I know I said Kevin is the most obvious

But this guy has the biggest crush on Clu

He is simp supreme

Like the way he turns to Clu for approval after everything he says makes me feel like I should leave the room

He loses a point for being a dork coward but Sam's mascara is very pretty and he's also a Flynn so I can't blame him too much

9/10 go henchboy go

3. Rinzler

Fellas, is it gay to brainwash god's most specialest boyfriend and make him loyal to only you all while knowing god is still out there and can see what you've done to everything he loves? All while knowing he's nothing more than a pet and will never love you and wouldn't even if he could

Like talk about the ultimate rebound

No notes honestly, I don't even need to go on with this one

11/10 not even one girl(Quorra) could make this all seem a little less gay

4. Dyson

Another case of yoinking your exes boy but this time it was consensual

He literally just agrees with Clu and helped him take over

If that's not a basis for a strong relationship then idk what is

He really seems so desperate to stay in Clu's favor like he must know that tron is the real prize here, his bitter ex. Has there ever been so much dating drama between programs?

5/10 replaceable.

5. Sammy

It occurs to me now that he hasn't made it on these lists yet so everyone clap for him

I feel brave for even acknowledging this one

Is Clu his dad? Is he an entity separate but still containing qualities of his father at a certain point in time that forever diverged from the moment of conception? Idk he's a computer man

So like the part where he's just kinda circling Sam looking him up and down like he's a prized pig? Yeah.

CAUTION THIS IS A JOKE please for the love of Kevin don't cancel me over this

2/10 why the 2? Cause there's fics out there man I know it

6. Zuse

He's so babygirl

Clu even mixed him a drink before he blew him up

I love their dynamic I get the feeling if Clu had to spend more than 5 minutes around him he'd strangle him much sooner

Stoic asshole with the silly asshole

Honestly they're perfect for each other

10/10 what can I say? I'm a simple program I see two men interact and I rate them

Special mention:

7. Quorra

Now some of you might say, hey Puddle Girl, this isn't homoerotic at all she's a girl

Well they're programs so gender isn't real and also they're bi so it counts

Anyway I thought about this one cause there was this weird tense moment towards the end of the movie where Quorra is captured and Clu's just like, talking to her and touches her hair and it was uncomfortable but it also made me feel some type of way

Like I understand that it's 100% a power play BUT

😏

3/10 he was gonna add her to the boyfriend collection cause all he does is steal from Kevin

Hi in honor of my Tron themed birthday I finally finished this. I was really reaching for some of these as you can see but I can't take it too seriously anyway. I'm always here for the gay of it all but is it homoerotic or do they just need to put more people who aren't men in this franchise? We'll literally never know! 🙃

Hey @soihadthisdreamonce I'm sorry 5-10 business days turned into 5-10 business weeks I was moving and time got away from me but I didn't forget you

[sharess-festhall]

WELCOME TO SHARESS' FESTHALL

A dirty confessions blog for Baldur's Gate 3 - place to share your desires anonymously... Feel free to use the ask button to send in your confessions or click here. Don't forget to turn on anon!

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[hislittleraincloud]

Fandom fic thoughts no one asked for:

I am highly, highly against Wednesday having any dialogue in which she speaks like her parents to her loved ones, i.e. all of that "Mon cher!" garbage towards Enid. It's cringey:

1. It's traditionally romantic and excessively cheesy, and [Ortega's] Wednesday is not. She just isn't, and y'all should know better. ETA: In regards to love, her parents are like Pepe Le Pew and a willing/enamored skunk (I forget if Pepe ever found his equal, but I do remember the girl cat got 🧠 'ed into behaving like Pepe usually does, which gave him a taste of his own psycho stalker medicine...ah, we had some fkd up cartoons back in the day). Wednesday would be like Michigan J. Frog...animated with only one person, in private...and that's still not a guarantee that she would ever want to emulate her mother, with whom we know that there are severe issues between them. Ridiculous, exaggerated displays of affection define Gomez and Morticia. To have Wednesday behave like that would be sacrificing the one thing that keeps her from turning into a total clone of them.

She can end up wanting to have love and a partner, and even a family, but that does not change the public mask [of a narcissist], and the notion that she would be perceived exactly like her mother upsets her. Direct reasons aren't given by the show, but by how they interact, we can see that Wednesday believes that 'everything is a competition'...but it's not [Morticia's] accomplishments that she rattles off that are the problem; it's somewhere, Wednesday picked up some terrible, terrible "I'm not good enough, I will never be as good as she is" blows to her psyche. From Wednesday's POV, she believes her mother is a narcissist (her self-awareness of her own narcissism is for its own post); only a narcissist would purposefully break someone else's chances of either being equal to or surpassing their greatness, and they get envious (and ego hurt) when it happens.

(...God, now I wanna program Ortega's voice to sing the fkn frog's song 🤣💀)

2. She doesn't want to be like her parents, and that would just...make her be more like her parents. This is the most major personal growth theme in the whole of the show, and it can't be ignored, otherwise it just turns Ortega's Wednesday into a generic iteration of a 'Wednesday character'. If it were one drabble or fic, alright, that's AU, but I see it in nine out of ten Wenclair 'drabbles' (if you can call straight-on dialogue shorts drabbles...we did not, back in the day) that clog up my fyp.

3. Her parents are extremely cultured and speak those love languages/romance languages as a whole together, to each other. Enid is not that kind of cultured at all (she can't spell, has bad grammar, and is just not interested in the same things Wednesday is). Enid would think it was cute, too, and Wednesday doesn't do cute, either (ever! EVER.**).

4. Again, Wednesday doesn't want to be like her parents, and it would be unfunnily mortifying to her to speak like that in public and in front of other people, even if she were fucking Enid. In private? See #1 and 2.

5. In Afterburn: It pained me to have her let slip the Spanish to Donovan on her birthday, but I did it because it was an unintentional slip, it was in private, and it wasn't a pet name, it was a command. She is very much like her mother in bed, but she also knows that Donovan isn't as cultured as her parents, and thus, she will refrain from that "mon cher/mon amour/whatever non-English pet names" crap.

6. There are so many other things Wednesday could call Enid (or Tyler, or Xavier, or whoever the Hell's she's paired with) without becoming a clone of her mother. Resorting to Gomez and Morticia's horribly cloying phrases is not charming, it's laziness. *channeling my inner Bianca here*

7. Now this goes back to #2 and #4, but on that note: There are obvious issues between Wednesday and her mother, and sounding like her disturbs the Hell out of her (or behaving like her, which is why Wednesday's eyes just about shit themselves in different directions when Fester said that her "death stare of disapproval reminded him of her mother").

It's almost like she has a glass eye.👀 It's there bc the AI picked it up hard I guess & it affected my outputs.

There is no way in Hell, no matter how juicy-tasty Enid's furry twat is, that Wednesday would suddenly decide that she should mimic Morticia.

I know all of this is gonna piss off a whole lot of people, but I don't care. It's not Wednesdaying right to have her call anyone by the same pet names her parents use, no matter how fluffy the relationship is. She just doesn't do relationships the same way her parents do. It's far more OOC to do that than even my pairing her up with Donovan is (which needs its own reasoning, probably in a different rant).

Rant over, and y'all can keep goin', but that's not gonna make the dialogue sound any less terrible and embarrassing.

**Afterburn Wednesday does do 'cute' with Donovan in private, but it's because of the fundamental differences from N/Canon attached to her core personality, i.e. she's hypersexual and has some regression issues here and there. Even still, she has a very hard time calling him any pet names because once again for those in the back: She does not want to be like her parents or associate her love with her parents' love, even as she recognizes that she is a lot like her mother. 🤷🏽‍♂️

(Also, I just read an incorrect assumption. Morgues have blood samples. They don't keep whole ass blood bags like blood banks/hospitals do. Get that right before you write me some Yoko & Wednesday.)

[synergysilhouette]

An alternate take on "The Princess and the Frog" (2009)

Given that I've remade several Revival-Era films by now, it was only a matter of time that I remade the film that started it all (unless you're one of those fans who considers "Bolt" the start of the Revival Era). I wasn't the biggest fan of this film for musical and story reasons, so I hope you aren't too offended by my changes.

The film features more fantasy elements. I recall controversy about how voodoo was portrayed as magic rather than a religion, and to alleviate that, I think we should confirm that it's magic we're dealing with rather than a specific counterpart to a real-world concept. I'd definitely take inspiration from Alphonse Muca imagery. I do like the idea that magic is regarded as mystical and dangerous, explaining why Tiana steers away from it while Naveen is enamored by it.

2. Naveen's background and culture is more clearly defined. It was CONFIRMED when the film was released that Naveen's race is fictional since Maldonia is a fictional place, however many fans view him as being Indian. I noted in another post that they could've easily made him the prince of an Indian-inspired country (or a fictional Indian state) and educated in Europe, explaining the westernized fashion and interests--even though westernization was common in general around that time. Of course, if we go the "fictional location" route with the setting for the film rather than New Orleans, this isn't as much of an issue--but it'd still be a nice touch if it was an explicitly Indian-inspired fantastical kingdom, perhaps taking inspiration from Indian fantasy films.

3. Play the duality plotline: Naveen is cursed to be a frog during the night, and a human during the day, albeit forgetful of this. A big criticism people had was that the two leads of color were frogs for most of the film. What if this wasn't the case? Naveen appears to Tiana both as a vain frog and a hedonistic young man. Due to Dr. Facilier's curse, Naveen is unable to remember his froggy curse by day, and thus cannot go about solving it, and the night is filled with shadow monsters who hope to stop him from breaking the spell, with Lawrence and Dr. Facilier manipulating him during the day to make him marry Charlotte. Tiana takes pity on his frog form (not knowing that he's the prince), and unlocks his kindness and selflessness, and as time goes on, human Naveen becomes kinder, and finds himself thinking about Tiana until they share a kiss at Mardi Gras, where he marries her instead of marrying Lottie, like the villains planned. When Facilier tries to get revenge on Naveen, Tiana battles him and breaks his talisman in a similar fashion to the original. (I feel like there's some inspiration you can take from "Howl's Moving Castle" with the plot.) Also when the kiss on Naveen fails to work the first time, Tiana gains the power to speak to animals.

4. Give Lawrence and Dr. Facilier more backstory. It's mentioned that Lawrence has been taken advantage of all his life, and it'd be more powerful to see his villain arc if we knew how much pain he went through rather than simply seeing him as greedy and selfish from the start. Plus Facilier's magic is QUITE interesting, and something I'd love to know more about. Perhaps tying into the racial subplot, he had a life similar to Tiana and her family, only he couldn't achieve his dream and turned to the shadows. Some may consider this a sympathetic villain story, but I do think that Facilier's backstory in the original would've included some racial themes as well.

5. Make Ralphie older and give him more relevance. I do like the idea that Ralphie is close in age to Naveen (with Ralphie still being the younger brother), and they have a relationship similar to Dreamworks characters, ie Moses/Ramses, Sinbad/Proteus, and Miguel/Tulio. I also like the idea that while Naveen is selfish but somewhat innocent of the world, Ralphie is selfless but easily stressed and flustered. I picture him being a mix of Aladdin and Hercules. I love the idea that he came to keep tabs on Naveen, and both he and Naveen pursue Charlotte, though Ralphie actually develops feelings for her, and she reciprocates. Plus I do wish he had a different name, but that's just me.

6. Charlotte's friendship with Tiana is a bit more pronounced. Some people think that her selfless act for Tiana at the end of the movie was too little, too late, as they found her annoying and spoiled. I'd enjoy more moments where we get to see their friendship, ie after Lottie gives Tiana a makeover, she asks her what happened at the party (which Tiana apparently never told her about since Lottie mentions how they're both getting their wishes granted that night).

7. Embrace the green! I do want Tiana to enjoy wearing green without it being associated with her being a frog. The concept art has really great designs, and it could correlate to her growing to love Naveen--plus it'd make her a good contrast to Lottie, especially if it was Eudora making these dresses.

8. Alter the soundtrack and side characters slightly. Take "Never Knew I Needed" and make it an actual song for Tiana to sing! I'd also take Luis and make him a human (his story did feel like a racial allegory) while Ray would stay a firefly for his "Evangeline" story. Plus this could also make "When We're Human" a solo for Naveen. And maaaaybe make the "Down in New Orleans" a song for Tiana or an ensemble number. And a part of me wants Lottie to have a song (maybe with Ralphie).

9. Remove Mama Odie and give Eudora more credit. I say this since Mama Odie didn't really do much to move the plot along (her advice of kissing a princess didn't really matter since Naveen and Tiana get married anyway), and she gave Tiana a good amount of insight that she wasn't able to appreciate until later. Allowing her mother to be a bigger part of her story is BIG for a Disney princess, especially if Tiana is staying human and staying in town.

Lemme know what you think! I hope you enjoyed this reimagining.

[mygloviesme]

cool about it. || myg

no. 1: tell myself one day i'll forget about it

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 2.9k

genre: ANGST, friends(?) to lovers, slow burn

overall warnings: toxic relationship (not w/myg), verbal abuse, mentions of alcohol

notes: this is my first body of work ive ever posted on tumblr. as you can see from the warnings, it’s pretty heavy and that theme will linger for a while. i wrote this while recovering from an abusive relationship i was trying to heal from and never intended to publish it but i feel I’m in a better place to continue it. I hope you guys like it. not a rough draft but definitely feels like it lmao.

Updated note: like I said above, this is my first official body of work. this story is very very flawed with probably so many plot holes and errors. this was my first time writing in YEARS. clearly some parts are self-indulgent and i wasn’t the best storyteller or writer or editor lmfao. i basically skimmed the chapters before publishing so excuse the big mistakes for my piece of mind and so i can sleep at night ♥️ok enjoy

inspo song: cool about it by boygenius

JANUARY 17TH, 2012, 5:12 PM.

The air was thin, dry, and coated with frost. The tip of my nose kissed with a small blush from the biting cold, I attempted to warm it up by pressing my palm to it. Of course it’s no use, as the weather doesn’t spare anyone. I bring both hands to my coat pockets and walk towards the building doors, one street lamp after another. There’s a slight flurry today but I try to romanticize it rather than hate it like I usually do. I’m the stereotypical person who gets hit with S.A.D every year as the daylight gets shorter by month and windows get frostier by day. I bring my hand up to the door handle, opening it swiftly to get inside the heated structure. 

It’s mid evening so I still have work to do. I head towards the studio where I’m expected, and of course, late. Bang PD had told me I would be working with some trainees/idols-to-be. I signed both of them on as producers, but I think by next year I’ll be rounding them up for a group. 

The man had a tendency to be cryptic, so whatever he knew about this supposed new K-pop group he was forming, I had no idea. I take a deep breath before opening the door to the studio. I never liked meeting new people and first impressions were something I had an unusual amount of anxiety for. I plant a smile on my face and twist the knob, seeing three bodies sitting casually on individual chairs, turning around. 

“Ah, Kanako,” Bang PD stands up, and I bow quickly. I haven’t yet met the eyes of the two boys sitting on the other chairs, and I wait for an introduction. 

“This is Kanako, you two. Kanako, this is Suga and RM.” He says, and my head follows where he points his fingers. They smile sheepishly, obviously as anxious as I was which made me feel slightly better. We bow as a group quickly and I let out a small huhaha that’s meant to be a laugh but it sounds more like a sigh. Bang PD’s hand floats over my back, leading me to the chair behind the boys. The distance is sort of awkward. 

We all take a seat and Bang PD clears his throat, shuffling with some papers. 

“So, this is going to be a slight trial run. We’re in the midst of your new album,” PD-nim faces me, “And I thought it might be good to have some new minds create a track for you. We had a song brainstorming, Kanako.” He says and passes me the paper with lyrics on it. The song title is Full Moon. 

I read the lyrics and they’re more sensual than I expected. I assumed that’s what was happening with this album as I expressed I wanted to steer away from the whole ‘girl next door’ facade I had going on. I had already been named South Korea’s little sister, so the implications and expectations people had of me was something I felt rubbing off on myself. I couldn’t let myself fall into that, I knew that much. 

As I get done reading the lyrics I nod, “This is great. You got a beat for me?” I say confidently. 

Suga, which I assume that’s his stage name, turns around and presses a few keys before clicking on a track. The beat is almost mystical, like a foggy night. There’s a guitar that flutters throughout the song and I find myself humming the lyrics, trying to place them where I think they belong. 

RM smiles as he hears me, “That’s how we were thinking it’d go too.” I reply with a grin and we all bob our heads as I sing. There’s a few blanks that I couldn’t figure out, but I love the overall feeling the song is. 

“We thought of putting a rap verse in,” Suga says. “Of course.” I reply, since every K-pop song seems to have a rap verse. 

“We thought the rapper should be female, just to fit the sensuality of it.” Bang PD says and I let out a small laugh. Sensuality. That seems to be all it is, most of the time. I’ll explain later.

My lips part slightly to release a small sigh, and I fiddle with my fingers, moving up to itch the back of my neck. “How about you, Suga?” I ask. The boy turns around in his spinny chair, his posture curved. “Uh,” He looks to Bang PD, “I don’t see why not.” PD-nim nods slowly, almost thinking to himself.

“That…could work.” he mumbles and gestures towards me. “Why don’t you go inside there and we’ll see how it all works out.” And I nod, heading into the recording room. 

JANUARY 17TH, 2012, 8:52 PM. It’s been nearly four hours we’ve been in the studio, and I lay back in my chair as Yoongi finishes his verse. “I think that one was it.” he says through the mic. Everyone looks towards me, “What do you think, Kanako? Was that it?” PD-nim asks, as if I was the one demanding we be here for nearly four hours. Yoongi, whose name I learned by RM and his casual calling of him, was the one assuring us we needed to do one take after the other. But for some reason, he only asked me to do very little takes when it came to my verses.

“Y-Yes, that was great. I think it’s good to call it a night.” I say, and RM gives the go to Yoongi which has him entering back into the studio. There is a subtle curiosity I get when looking at Yoongi, his mysterious and quiet demeanor made me want to know more. Is that too soon to think? I shouldn’t even have those thoughts. 

His rapping was undeniably good and it made me want to hear it over and over again. And over and over and over and over. Fuck. 

Everyone picks up their things and I reach for my coat until Yoongi grabs it for me. 

“Oh, thank you.” I smile and our fingertips graze each others as he passes my coat to me, causing a small hiccup in my stomach. We all bow to each other goodbye and I head out to my dorm, seeing the two boys heading into the other direction where the trainees' dorms were. I feel a sense of excitement, hoping I get to work with them again. With him again. 

I hear a voice behind me that makes me jump, “Hi honey.” the voice says. I turn around to see another producer, except this one was my boyfriend. I look around quickly to make sure the boys and Bang PD were out of sight before swinging my arms around him. I snuggle my face in his neck, trying to keep my balance since I’m on my tip-toes. I can smell his Calvin Klein cologne that’s been stuck on him since I’ve known him. It’s almost his natural scent at this point. 

I’ve been dating Haneul for nine months, all months being an absolute secret. He was the one who urged me to keep us a secret, and I obeyed. I wanted him, needed him, to the point I’d do anything for him. As long as I was his I would do anything. Most days I would only think of him, how can I please him, how can I make him happy? How could I change myself to be the girl of his-

“I heard you were recording with Yoongi and Namjoon today.” He says, his embrace loosening. His body morphs back from leaning down to hug me, to standing straight up. He towers over me, looking me in the eyes. I can already sense what he’s feeling. He’s not controlling, he’s just worried. (I know what it looks like.) 

I look down to my shoes, “Yes but it was just working. Nothing weird.” I whisper. His hand trails to my chin, lifting it softly. “Are you lying?” He asks. (He’s not usually like this, he’s just protective.)

“No, Haneul. I promise. I only want you.” I say as I meet his eyes nervously. I feel his fingers let go of my chin and he smiles. “I love hearing you say that.” He says. I attempt to laugh to break the tension but it doesn’t help. Sometimes he makes my stomach drop in a way I can’t explain, in a way where if I really thought about it, I’m sure it’d make me feel horrible. (What else is he going to think when you’re alone in a room with three men, it’s not his fault. It’s yours. Why did you wear this skirt today? Why did you thank Yoongi for giving you your coat? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.)

Haneul reaches down to peck my cheek, trailing kisses down my jaw and neck. My eyesight gets cloudy and I manage to forget about that pit in my stomach. It’s just us. Just him and me, forever. And he wants me right now. That’s all I need. For someone to want me like I want him. His lips graze my collarbone before sucking for a moment and letting go. “Just wanted to remind you.” He teases, and I smile. (This is good. I deserve this.) 

My hand travels to my collarbone where the slight pinkness of a hickey lies, “Hopefully this doesn’t get any worse.” I joke. His eyes darken, “Maybe it’ll give those boys a reminder that you’re mine.” He says. (He still thinks something happened. He was in a bad relationship before me, he just needs to heal. I promise.)

“I should go. Someone might see.” I say before snaking my hand to caress his. He interlocks our fingers and gives me a soft smile. He slowly moves his fingers up to my face once again, this time planting his lips on mine. It’s aggressive, heated, making me inch a little backwards so I’ve almost met the wall. He’s always like this. Gripping my hair so he can control the way my head moves, moving so quickly I can barely keep up. He loves control. He feeds off of it. I know he likes that he towers over me, that he can lift me up or bring me down whenever he’d like. 

In more ways than one. 

NOVEMBER 12th, 2011, 8:23.

My birthday is slowly coming to an end. I have friends and a few people from the company who came to celebrate my birthday with me and we all sit at the restaurant, picking at the crumbs left while bursting with laughter. Everyone is of age to drink but I’ve settled happily with a fizzy sprite, attempting to enjoy the company of others. 

The whole time we’ve been at this restaurant I’ve been glancing at my phone, checking the time and texting Haneul when he’d come. Although we’re a secret, people only assume we’re just good friends. You and Haneul work great together. Was Haneul the producer behind that amazing song? Oh Kanako, you both are a dream team! They all say. But even with how good of a friend, boyfriend, whatever it is, he has yet to show up to my eighteenth birthday party. He told me he’d come, he told me had a gift for me, he told me he’d be here with me. 

He knows how hard it’s been for me to celebrate my birthday ever since my mothers death, how lonely and debilitating this day could be. How ever since recently I’ve refused to even talk about my birthday. Up until her death, I’d only spend it with her. She’d bake me the same German chocolate cake, give me the same kiss on the cheek, the same hug after I had blown out the candles. It was only ever us in our own little bubble. 

But now it’s been bursted. I’m reminded why I never do it. Even sitting at a table full of my friends they still feel like strangers. Nothing can compare to her. I though Haneul being here would make it easier, but he still hasn-

“Kanako! I’m here!” A voice says from across the room. My cheeks flush and my eyes widen. He wobbles over to our table, clutching a bottle in his hand. The hand that should be carrying my gift. Everyone at the table quiets and the silence is deafening. No one knows why he’s acting this way, why he made it such an announcement that he’s arrived. That he’s my boyfriend. 

But I know one thing for sure, he’s fucking drunk.

I sit up and clasp my hands together, “Okay everyone, I think it’s time to wrap up. I have rehearsal tomorrow.” I say quickly. Everyone's a little dumbfounded before muttering to themselves, awkwardly picking up their things. Some give me a quick hug and a happy birthday, others simply wave and exit the restaurant. This is so embarrassing. 

Haneul watches as all the guests leave. I refuse to make eye contact with him, fiddling with my wallet to place a good size of cash to pay for the dinner. He grabs my wrist, “Baby don’t do that, let me pay. It’s the least I can d-do.” He slurs, and the strong scent of alcohol lingers on his lips. And the perfume I'm choosing to ignore. I jerk my wrist away and look at him with venom in my words. 

“Don’t even touch me.” 

“Kanako…”

“Where were you?” I ask simply. 

He straightens his posture, his eyes glistening with something I’ve never seen before. “Don’t make me feel more like shit than I already do.” He says and hangs his head. 

“I’m not trying to.” I respond, placing my hand on top of his. He pulls it away, “No, you’re trying to make me feel fucking guilty. You always do.” He says and I shake my head in confusion and shock. “Haneul, you missed my birthday party. How is this my fault?” I scoff. He lifts his finger to point at me, his eyes hazy and his mouth ready to hurt, ready to see me crumble. 

“You always make me feel like a shitty boyfriend! If you don’t like it then don’t fucking be with me, alright?” He spits. How can he say this? I part my lips, ready to speak, but he’s quick to shut me up. 

“This is me Kanako,” His face gets closer to me, his breath caressing my face. His voice is almost a whimper, a plea. Like a child. “Who the fuck are you?” He breathes. I inch my face away from him in disbelief. 

I feel tears well in my eyes and scoot beside the table to escape him. “Yeah Kanako, leave! Go fuck some other guy.” He yells from our table and I hang my head in an attempt to hide my face. Anyone could recognize me, any worker could tell the tabloids what happened tonight. My twenty-three year old boyfriend yelled at me. Kanako, in a rocky relationship with her producer, leaves the restaurant in tears. I can see the headlines now. They flash in my head and I breathe heavily and push the doors to meet with the chilly autumn air. 

I speed walk away, not wanting Haneul to catch up with me, to make this any worse. I feel a burning shame in my chest, a heated embarrassment arises in my stomach ready to release itself in the form of chunky liquid. Instead I hide in an alleyway, falling to my knees and covering my mouth to muffle my sobs. This is the worst I’ve felt ever since my mother died. This feeling, this is so much bigger than me. It hurts my heart, it pains my stomach and all I want to do is to evaporate. 

I don’t have a single thought besides to hide my cries. Besides replaying the moment in my head over again, still smelling the soju on his lips and that fucking perfume. It has to be the end of us, right? This has to be my final straw. I can’t handle this any longer. The public shaming, the drunk insults, the control. My sobs sound loud and sharp, like a cat who’s been cornered. I hide my face in my palms, hearing footsteps beside me.

A single finger gently caresses my hand, and I uncover my eyes. “Haneul..please..” I choke out, unable to catch my breath. He crouches in front of me before taking me in his arms, my hands float on his back, knowing if I touch him, it’s me inviting him back. 

“I’m sorry, I-I’ll change. I promise, Kanako.” He says. My hands float there for a little while longer, my head buried in the nape of his neck, my cries much quieter and defeated this time. 

But, I touch him. I hug him back. I hold his cold, yet warm body in my hands. 

And I stay, for the apology. 

JANUARY 12TH, 2012, 9:15PM

We stay like this for a little, him devouring my mouth and his hand with a fistful of my hair. He moans into my lips and uses his other hand to press me into the wall. His tongue demands entrance and I let him, but my mind is still scared we’ll get caught. Haneul seems to mind much less than I do. 

His hand that was previously in my hair travels to my chest, torso, and then my skirt.

“N-No, not here.” I breathe. My eyes plead with him, but he has sin in his eyes. A part of me likes that he’s so eager to touch me, but another part…

“O-Oh, sorry!” A voice from the hall is heard. Haneul moves his hands away from me and we part our bodies, looking over to see who it was.

I see a familiar figure walking briskly, his back facing towards us. 

Yoongi?

click here to read more of this story!

an: the first chapter of cool about it. hope you liked it and thank you for reading!

[princessmisery666]

Daily Mixes Challenge - 2K follower celebration

I wasn't sure about doing a follower celebration as I'm quite sporadic with posting but I just surpassed 2K followers, I will be celebrating my birthday in May (the same day as Sam Winchester), and my blog will be turning 3 and I wanted to celebrate.

A multi-fandom challenge with no end date for sign ups or posting entries.

Music inspires me in my day to day life and as I have progressive hearing loss I listen to A LOT of music. I want to consume as much as I can before I can’t do it any more.

So my challenge is this: send me an ASK picking one of the below categories: 

Daily Mix 1

Daily Mix 2

Daily Mix 3

Daily Mix 4

Daily Mix 5

Daily Mix 6

Pop

R&B

Hip Hop

Dance

Rock

Metal

2010s

2000s

90s

80s

Chill

Happy

Upbeat

Romantic

Moody

I will hit shuffle on the corresponding Spotify playlist and give you the first song that plays. You then have to write a fic or create a mood board, aesthetic or piece of art based on that song or the feelings it gives you.

More Info below the cut.

I will make sure no one gets the same song.

For anyone who doesn’t use Spotify, it creates “made for you” playlists that are personalised to your tastes and they change from day to day. It changes DAILY, so I don’t know what song you could get. I listen to anything from cheesy pop to hardcore rock.

Info & Guidelines - cause no one likes rules: 

Fandoms I’m interested in but you can write for any fandom you wish. Supernatural, Marvel, Top Gun: Maverick, DC, Shadow & Bone, The Witcher, Outer Banks, Yellowstone-verse, Sons Of Anarchy. And probably more feel free to ask. 

Bonus points for: Sam Winchester/Jared Padalecki, Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie, Erik ‘Kilmonger’ Stevens/Michael B Jordan, and Geralt/Henry Cavill.

MARVEL NOTE: I won’t read Tony Stark fics. He can be a supporting character but I won’t read anything that is centred around him. Sorry. I have a reason for this that I’m happy to discuss but it’s a bit dark and this is supposed to be fun.😉

Feel free to combine this with any other bingos/challenges you are partaking in if they allow the same. 

Can be fluff, smut, angst, kinks, crack, A/B/O, AU’s whatever floats your boat. Dark themes welcome. 

Any and ALL trigger warnings must be highlighted. I’ll step out of my comfort zone and read anything - except Tony Stark, paedophilia, necrophilia and scat play (don’t look it up).

Any and all ships welcome.

Can be reader insert, 1st/3rd person, OC or character’s POV. Whatever you prefer.

Fics can be any length, but PLEASE use a ‘keep reading’ line for long posts or fics over 500 words.

If the song you get doesn’t spark any inspiration, there’s no pressure to do it, and feel free to ask for another.

Can request as many songs as you want. 

You don’t have to be following me.

No end date for requests

No due date for entries.

Use the tag #666DailyMix so I can find it and don’t forget to tag me in your work.

Would appreciate a reblog for a signal boost

I will reblog all entries

I will create a master list and update whenever there is a new submission

[huesofvioletandpurple]

A few days ago, the DRDT channel made public a “character song” playlist with sixteen songs inside (link). Naturally, considering this means that every character has a theme song of their own, I became Fucking Obsessed and tried matching each song to every character

Out of sixteen, I have exactly Four I am completely and absolutely confident in. That’s like, (checks notes), a quarter of the songs. I wish four was as neat of a number as three but unfortunately I do not get a choice in that regard. This would’ve been a quick post on which song I think matches with who + why but these guys made me recite an essay to myself as I paced around the room. So they deserve their own post <3.

Featuring: screenshots, hidden quotes (link) (required reading), and a shit ton of brainrot. explanations are below cut. tl;dr:

Rose is Cartoons

Charles is Asymptotic

Nico is Drawing Pins

Teruko is Good Grief

=

Rose Lacroix is Cartoons

[plain text: Rose Lacroix is Cartoons]

Track #4 is Cartoons by Louie Zong, and I have decided this is Rose’s track too. This is one many, many others have suspected as well. Starting it off with this first because it’s the simplest to explain: Rose is an artist, the lyrics are about art; or, at the very least, uses animation and drawing as metaphors.

Abstractions how I live my day to day, [...] Hard to explain, And to express, Forever just a work-in-progress.

The song in general uses drawing to explain feeling burnt out/not passionate about. Well. Your passions. Rose states herself that her work can only give her catharsis, considering none of it technically “hers” anymore.

[ID: Two screenshots of  Rose from chapter 2 episode 5. She is in the dressing room talking to Teruko, and has her hand on her neck as she looks downwards. Transcript: All I do is make paintings on other’s beck-and-call. It’s been so long that I don’t think I remember how to paint something original anymore. / There’s no value in the creations of someone who’s fallen so far from artistry. The only thing I can get out of art is catharsis. End ID]

Which is even more tragic, considering how she had huge ambitions as a child

[ID: One screenshot from the same episode. Rose now rests her chin in her fist. Transcript: I wanted to be a great painter when I was a kid, but things didn’t turn out that way. None of my original stuff ever sold well. End ID] 

There’s also these lyrics here

Can't hold a pencil or a thought. (Oh uh oh) Can't paint myself something I'm not.

Tryin' to make that ol' deadline, But all I've got are two dots and a line.

Rose knows she’s talented; in fact, I’d argue she’s one of the most secure about her talent than anyone in the class. She understands how useful it is in the killing game when paired with her photographic memory. In chapter 2, however, she hesitates, despite knowing this more than anyone.

[ID: Three screenshots of Rose from chapter 2 episode 8. She is sitting against a wall, knees drawn to her chest as she buries her face in her arms. Transcript of her dialogue: I don’t want to find out what kind of corpse Arei left. It’s easier for me to pretend nothing bad happened and forget about everything tomorrow. / That’s why I’m sitting here, wallowing in my own guilt, unable to do anything helpful. / You probably need me to draw a picture of a crime scene, like last time. That’s something only I can do that can help everyone. End ID]

She doesn’t want to use her talent that way—she can’t “paint herself something she’s not”, and she would “make the deadline”, but she can’t just will herself to simply Do Something when it’s draining and linked to her trauma from the previous case—and she’s more self conscious of it than anyone, that she only has “two dots and a line” —an upset face.

There’s also her hidden quote from the inspect elements of her character page: “In the end, all I can do is watch my wretched life go on.” I think it fits with the general theme of being incredibly discouraged and burnt out. “Forever a work in progress” indeed.

=

Charles Cuevas is Asymptotic

[pt: Charles Cuevas is Asymptotic]

I’ve chosen Asymptotic by (once more,) Louie Zong as Charles’ song. I could say it’s because of the mathsy theming and Charles is literally a fuckging chemist and leave it at that—I almost chose this as Min’s song because of how groovy and nerdy (affectionate) it was. I’m sorry to say it’s because of angst.

We’re aymptotic, Divided, by the smallest, slimmest line

Hey, so you know how Charles has an older brother ?

And you know how he didn’t know this until one of the motives told him ? So now there’s a good chance he won’t remember him fully for a long, long time ?

[you’re] Not imaginary. But it's complex! The limits are infinitely great

Charles now knows of this family member he has no recollection of. He most likely existed at some point—every other secret, though written to show the worst of the cast, are based on some sort of truth. I have a pet theory that his phobia of blood is connected to his brother, considering amnesia of a traumatic event is a common occurrence, and he doesn’t recall the origin of his haemophobia either, which opens up the possibility of them being linked. As long as he has this amnesia, any memory of his brother will always be far from his grasp.

As close as we could ever get, you'll be just out of reach

His hidden quote is about how it’s better to just forget; that means those events weren’t worth keeping.

if you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. none of those memories should ever be kept anyway.

In the context of the creator looking at the lyrics of the song and going “omg that’s blorbo from my brain”, the song refers to him as believing that he and his brother are asymptotes—lines that greatly resemble each other that will never reach, existing in different planes altogether.

=

Nico Hakobyan is Drawing Pins

[pt: Nico Hakobyan is Drawing Pins]

So.

Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves ! This song in particular fucking Stumped me. The lyrics are good, they slap, the Creator has fantastic taste in music; I just couldn’t figure out who the Hell it could be. Then, I had an epiphany.

This epiphany, by the way, is also probably one of my BIGGEST reaches. It completely redefines the song—even MORESO than how I treated asymptotic—and focuses hard on One aspect of Nico’s character.

(In my defense, it’s a really huge part.)

I don't feel like I belong Here at all

Tell me what you did it What you did it What you did it for 'Cause I can't figure it out

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

These are the lyrics in particular that made me go “wait a god damn Second”.

Firstly, not feeling like they belong.

[ID: Two screenshots of Nico from chapter 2 episode 6. They hold their arm and look nervously to the side in the first screenshot, then bury their face in the collar of their shirt in the next. Transcript: I thought you would laugh at me. I was worried you would pick up rocks and start throwing them at me or pick up clumps of mud and start throwing them at me. / I’m sorry, this never happens! Usually people call me abnormal or say that I’m just trying to be special, in a derogatory way. End ID]

Nico has been a frequent victim of bullying. Even though their current classmates are accepting, that just made them wary that something was off, because their past experiences stuck with them ! I feel like it should go unsaid that that, already on its own, is pretty fucking isolating !

[ID: a screenshot from the same episode. Nico is in the same pose. They say “And then they leave me out of everything and never talk to me again because there’s something wrong with me.” End ID]

So, self-explanatory line in the context of Nico. Cool. Cool. What am I seeing in the other lyrics, though ?

Tell me what you did it What you did it What you did it for 'Cause I can't figure it out

Okay, so. You know Nico’s hidden quote ? It’s “why should I own up for the mistakes someone else made?”, if you’re wondering.

There’s another reason they don’t feel like they belong.

There’s this running thread of Nico misunderstanding social cues, causing conflict and being scorned for it, but never being explained why those social cues exist, leading to them confused on why something so arbitrary is held to such importance. This causes this cycle that they’re just expected to escape, yet not being given the understanding or tools to do.

[ID: Three screenshots of Nico from the same episode. Nico looks down at their hands, then scratches their chin, then buries the bottom half of their face in their shirt. Transcript: If you’re having dinner and want someone to pass the salt, you can say, “Please pass the salt,”  or you can say “Give me the salt.” / One of those things is supposed to be more polite than the other, right? But why? They both meant the same thing. They’re just slightly different mixes of words. / It’s like that. I don’t understand why some mixes of words come off as ‘rude’ and some don’t, even if they mean tthe same thing. End ID]

I suspect the hidden quote is of Nico snapping, of not caring about being polite or nice anymore. They are already honest, which escalated their animosity with Ace, but this time they’re not caving if someone tells them that they’re being “too blunt” about it.

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

But it was never on purpose. They are not “blunt” or “brutally honest” to Ace or David whoever because they want to build that kind of reputation. I think these lyrics are suggesting a culmination of their arc, “What can I do to be loved ? Why should I apologise in place of the person who did hurt you ? Why am I constantly apologising for my existence ?

How do I win over people like you?”

I am fully aware that I may be reaching, but if you see the song as a representation of Nico’s rage and resentment that they had to “hold down by drawing pins”, you can at the very least see where I’m coming from.

=

Teruko is Good Grief

[pt: Teruko Tawaki is Good Grief]

Good Grief by Bastille, aka the last song on the playlist !

I’ve seen people say it’s a Whit song, or a Charles song, and I see it ! Death is very important in both of their arcs, and so is their way of mourning. However, I feel like it couldn’t be anyone but Teruko, and I also feel like there’s a very important part of her that people often forget.

[ID: Two screenshots from the episode 1 of the first chapter. They are lines of Teruko’s inner monologue. Transcript: His name, her face, it’s just barely out of reach. I claw and grasp through the dusty haze of my memories. / Choking on my nostalgia, I keep begging for you to come back. End ID]

[ID: A screenshot from chapter 1 episode 9 of Mai Akasaki turning around and smiling at the viewer. End ID]

Teruko mourns.

At the very least, she tries. She misses people. She grieves. That is what drives her distrust—she knows how much love hurts, and doesn’t want to feel that way.

[ID: A screenshot from chapter 2 episode 3. Teruko playing with succulents in her room as if they are dolls. One succulent has an eyepatch and knife, and the other has a knife and a sticky note, with a cowlick resembling Teruko’s. End ID]

Even in this silly moment of Teruko playing with cacti—it shows she didn’t WANT Xander to die ! She misses him. She wishes it could’ve gone better and blames herself for trusting—and notice how Xander in this scenario stands by her side.

Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

She “chokes on her nostalgia” when she thinks of two unnamed people, “begging them to come back”. Will she ever admit it? Fuck no are you kidding me she couldn’t be emotionally vulnerable to save her Life. But Teruko constantly loses and is never given time or space to mourn (That is what I meant when I said she tries), and it’s led her to bottling and hiding them to further isolate herself, to prevent her from losing the ones she loves again.

In my thoughts you're far away And you are whistling the melody, Whistling the melody Crystallising clear as day Oh I can picture you so easily, Picture you so easily

Again, the two people are “far away”, she’s half forgotten after all. But Mai Akasaki’s image is as clear as day. Her memories are one of the only traces of Mai we have at all.

I could repeat myself over and over with pretty much every lyric of this song in particular, so I suggest seeking it out and listening to it yourself. I cannot stress enough how much this song SCREAMS Teruko to me

=

Overall, I’m fully ready to be wrong. I do not have a great track record when predicting story arcs. However, I have thought about this for a very intense bit of time, so this is to work as a way to get my thoughts out there.

I have a few hunches, like Shun-Ran for David or Jotaro’s theme for Xander, but both are just hunches, and neither are as strong as the four above.

Anyways, have a great day ! holy shit this is over 1.7K words excluding the image descriptions.

[vivizn]

Re: the tags you put on my post; you don't have to figure out the gender stuff all at once. You mentioned dresses? Try wearing dresses! Try a different set of pronouns, try a new name. None of that stuff has permanent ramifications. Take advantage of your group of non-cis friends for support with the name and pronouns stuff, they'll be thrilled to help. If you're "wrong" and you're "just" a GNC cis guy? That's still a great thing to be, if you're doing it on purpose!

(Future me here, quick info. Context at the bottom, and OP this turned out kinda long so read this when you have 5min to spare.)

Oh, uh, hi

Sorry, didn't expect a feedback on that, i was kinda yelling into the void and i keep forgetting this site is made of people ^^'

First off, thanks for reaching out, always nice to see that happening. And i hope you had, have and will have a nice day. Triple kindness in your face.

Secondly, dresses. It's kind of an ironic love that i have for those? Like, i just like wearing dresses for the bit (or on rare occasions i'll wear my skirt cuz it's faster to take on/off than pants). I say i get giddied up but It's really more because of the reaction of those around me (they find it funny (not in a mean way) so i'm glad i made them laugh).

Thirdly(?), changing names / pronouns. My *checks bio* neo-gendered sibling in christ, i can't even name my OCs, what makes you think i can name ME ToT ? As for the pronouns, eh... idk, i'm fine with keeping he/him i think, keeps things consistant. Again, default settings. I definitly need to try it one day though.

Fouthly? Fourtly? Fourd? Fuck, permanence. You fool. You absolute baffoon (affectionate). How dare you think for a moment have what it takes to handle ephemerality? I literally have mlp themed stickers still in package because i don't want to deal with using them somewhere and later not having them anymore. Either I will give up after the first time someone uses another set of pronouns, or the short period of time where they did will haunt me forever because nothing came out of it. <- also work if i end up changing pronouns, my brain is good at thinking bad. (I also have a suspicious amount of ND friends. Yeah yeah, i know, the idea of seeing a therapist sounds sexier everyday.)

5 (because i'm tired, it's 3am), being wrong. That is actually something i somewhat enjoy surprisingly. Because at least that means i have something to go off of, a starting point. That's usually all i need to start working on anything that require thought (so literally everything). I'd rather have someone tell me to do a thing and then shit on the thing they told me to do than having someone tell me "just follow your heart 🥰🥰🥰". Like, cool bro, how do i do that? Bitch won't move, how am i supposed to follow it?

1/3 of 666, credits. I never know how to close off rants because i always forget the first 3 points i try to make. So uhhh thanks to your patience if you've read through that (i feel like you would), sorry for ranting/venting(?) on what was just supposed to be a positive message i think. Thanks again for trying to reach out, but i honestly think i've got to deal with my other problems before i can tackle my gender (like the o so joyful experience of finding a job. yay.) (<- monotonest voice ever).

original post + my tags for those interested in context, AKA: hi alexxel, hi malt (watch out for the rant in your name, i'm gonna steal it), probably hi gayotic

And a pic of me in a dress because i feel like it

Couldn't find a dress so all you get is a fashion disaster, feat a hat i borrowed from a friend to complete the fit.

[gossipgirloff1]

Sainz, Lando, Albon and Oscar eating McDonald together after Oscar win is so disappointing tbh. I know they are rich men and probably don’t give a fuck about boycott and what’s happening in Palestine but still 😐 //

probably this doesn't fit the topic of this blog, but since anon mentioned this theme i want to add my perspective.

i am ukrainian and i absolutely tired how wars are perceiving now. for most people it’s just “annoying shit” (it’s a real quote from message that i reviewed) that doesn’t need attention. for people its just a joke, they don’t care that in Ukraine, Palestine, Syria and bunch of other countries people are literally dying just because someone from other more powerful country decided that.

most this famous people doesn’t actually care about us. for them it seems enough to post a story on a “first day” with a bunch of hashtags. but there a lot of truly amazing celebrities who really helping one way or another. by constantly sharing info, helping by donating, helping shelters etc. (probably one of not many good thing that kelly doing is sharing info, sometimes lol. but still sharing)

answering on your anon ask, i feel this pain every single time while seeing how you guys fangirling over russia, russian aesthetic, communism and russians, for example irina shayk (she is modeling for russian brands which sponsoring war in Ukraine), daniil kvyat and lots lots of other russians. how you making jokes about us begging for help, for every our move, word being criticised.

lots of people don’t really know how it feels to share the border with russia. the war started in 2014 and i was NINE, past sunday i turned NINETEEN. i would never forget how i was going to the shop at summer’14 at my grandma’s town and saw tanks and military vehicles riding through the streets. you know i probably would never see my grandparents again? because my town is occupied. my mother would probably never see her parents again.

most part of the world i guess know about 24 february 2022. i woke up at 4:50 to get a drink and at 5:08 was first missile strike on out biggest airport. i don’t think that my father would forget me asking him “is that fireworks?”.

you know earlier this july russia purposely striked into biggest child oncology clinic in Ukraine? probably no, but i don’t blame you, seriously.

i hate how people comparing Palestine and Ukraine. like guys what the fuck are you doing? posting photo from Gaza and fucking San Francisco, claiming that its Kyiv. search about Mariupol or Bakhmut. people dying is fucking joke? or how we posting about missile attacks in out cities and some of you running to write that its fake? that we are not suffering like Palestine? my country is actually sending to Palestine humanitarian aid.

i am scared leaving my room at night during air raid alert, because if something happens i would not be able to protect my little sister. you know its so fucking terrifying when you hear missile flying over and you begging that it wouldn’t be your home which be destroyed.

i am tired of people comparing, hating, ignoring, pretending wars aren’t real. we need stuck together, not tear each other apart.

please be kind to each other.

ps from me: sorry for this long ask, i think i needed to put my thoughts into something. when i wrote “you” i am not directly talking to anon or you, owner of this blog, just general appeal. i am not trying to be mean, sorry if you feel so.

ps 2 from me: i really like your blog!!! i am a big gossiper so your account is a treasure for my soul!!! don’t worry about all that mean asks, they just can’t stand that here are different opinions and we are not kissing ass their favs!!

have a nice part of a day!!!!

Thank you for speaking up about your experience about war and how you feel about this I love that we can talk anything and any subject in this blog and no one says please stick with the gossip

I know I have never been feel or experienced what you have been through only think we can say is I feel for you and help both your country and Palestine about donations but if you don’t feel okay and need someone to talk to I am always here (this includes all people in this blog btw) i know these things can mentally do to our brains so I want you all to know I’m here

Thank you for your kind words about the blog and thank you to the anons of this blog for being here ❤️

Have nice day/night 😊

[aviocs]

What would Asya, Abaddon and one character of your choice wear to Pride?

IM GLAD YOU ASKED i know it's july. but it's always time 4 pride

asya:

asya is a performer and i can see her doing some singing at a pride event! and if she's performing, she's dressing up. for the outfit itself, gotta have a few bits of the classic rainbow, but mostly she's got a lesbian flag theme going on in a coordinated outfit. spends months before the event getting the perfect pieces in the right colors. might've even gotten the bustle shorts custom made.

if she was just attending pride without getting on stage she'd probably dress more like she normally does, tie some flannel around her waist and put on some pins or other accessories.

abaddon:

thinking of her in gta au for this which implies los santos has a pride event, which i can get behind lol

abaddon's got a much more casual look! spent an afternoon finding some rainbow pieces and called it a day. for someone who primarily wears red and black it's more colorful than her usual looks and she'd enjoy that for a day. she's also someone more likely to just throw on a couple rainbows vs looking to coordinate stuff/get pins in her more specific flags (trans, nonbinary, bi, demisexual, demiromantic) because the specific labels are less important to her than the queer umbrella. doesn't need to call out everything, the rainbow works just fine.

also gave her a water bottle and backpack because gotta stay hydrated out in the summer heat, especially if this IS gta au and it takes place in the gta version of california. the backpack is for more water bottles and the wallets/phones of her friends who might be more dressed up with less pocket space so they don't ruin their aesthetic with bags. abaddon's a team player.

jt:

jt's not queer herself but she's got two dads who absoLUTELY have been taking her to pride since she was an infant. she'll go with them as she grows up, too, but always love an excuse to draw her as a kid. she didn't necessarily pick out her outfit here, dads had to coordinate for her, but they do care a lot about her having a say in this sort of thing and got each piece jt-approved. she was particularly excited about the sparkly tutu.

as a teen and adult she gets different 'i love my dads' shirts to wear every year. probably doesn't wear too many rainbows herself outside of the shirt

bonus! cian:

cian is the allocishet guy in the friend group and someone who gets mistaken for also being queer a non-zero amount. it doesn't bother him and he mostly just corrects people if it's relevant. when the Bi Wife Energy tiktok came out he got like 5+ people sending it to him, 100%, thus the shirt, also since a lot of the women he dates/gets interested in end up being bi. cian is just a good guy and a safe guy and the queers flock to him, and also they invite him to pride with them and of COURSE he'll go.

(i think his design fluctuates every time i draw him. his hair looks pretty normal, i tend to make the... spikes? rounded for him and actually remembered to do that this time. it's the goatee that moves around a bit, finally remembered this time that usually goatees come with mustaches instead of only slapping the chin bit on him)

a couple more bonuses under the cut that don't fit the art styles

actually drew this abaddon before all the others, but struggled to draw any others in the same style. i wanted this post to be a bit more unified so i redrew her once i actually started having some luck with asya's piece, but i like how this turned out so i'm posting it damn it lmao i forget her undereye circles so often though, f

this piece is five years old now oh my god. ANYWAY sergey taking val to their first pride! sergey would either wear minimal actual pride gear - some beads he got at the event and a trans wristband - with otherwise normal clothes (accounting for the heat) or some kind of meme shirt on top of that. val also has minimal pride gear here mostly because they're looking to buy more at the event. sergey checks in on them frequently throughout the even to make sure they're not overheating in that binder. he remembers how fucking hot and sweaty those things get.

[freyjalumiere]

How to know if I am on the right career?

I am going to turn 7 years since I am working as cat psychologist and 3 years since I am involved with rune casting and this year I am starting with Astrology (even though I had certain interest on it before). I love what I do but I confess that time to time I ask myself if I am on the right path.

The birth chart as whole seems to give certain confirmation but as my career as cat psychologist is what we call a "New Profession" is hard to find it in that way but somehow gave me clues. I went over and over again to my birth chart in case I missed something.

The asteroids topics is something new in astrology and everything that is new or mysterious fascinate me. If you read previous posts then you will read that i wrote about some nordic themed asteroids. Also there are more asteroids than planets so gives a lot of things to know about a person.

While I was observing my birth chart, I also found asteroids that let you know about your career and job.

Academia that is the study asteroid, Destinn that can gives a little hint as means destiny, Enterprise that could mean a project or undertaking and we have the willingness to take wise risks, Fama would be another possible asteroid that is where we will have fame/recognition/power, Industria the career we pursue quite naturally and Jobse that is the type of Job we attract or like to do.

Then I also decided to find if there are some cat related asteroids. Happy we have. Asteroid Freia could be one of those but also Sekhmet, Ubasti and we have also Kitty.

Maybe kitty can be interpreted in many ways but who knows? so I decided to put those career asteroids (included those for my rune casting and astrology career) with cat themed asteroids (except freia). So the asteroids in my birth chart came as next:

Kitty is 7 degree apart from Jobse (we can say is conjunct with each other), Sekhmet is 7 degree apart from Venus and Ubasti is 5 degree apart from Teller. Merlin is 3 degree apart from Divini.

Yes, I put Sverige (Sweden) asteroid as well. First post I wrote the theory of the Goths (Visigoths/Ostrogoths) having their origin in Sweden, my connexion with the Visigoths is quite interesting so I got a bit of curious. Sverige do more conjunction to Kitty but I still don't know how to interprete it yet. Interesting that is in the 7th House of partnership.

Maybe I am indeed meant to be a cat psychologist who do rune casting and astrology? I am near to find more. Everyday I am surprised about how much I am learning from Astrology.

Hope you have a great day and don't forget to write me if you need me with your cat behaviour problem, a read casting or interpret your birth chart (just don't forget asteroids are new and we are on the journey to know all about them).

[3nvymist]

. ݁₊⊹ “Tell me that it’ll be okay.” ݁ ‧₊˚.

TW : This post contains implied p3d0ph1lia and explicit mentions of female body development. If you are uncomfortable with these themes, do not proceed.

INFO : This writing piece is in the perspective of my original character, Merlin Jones, who tells the reader about her experience when walking home from school and the thoughts she was thinking of back when she was a child.

{ Red heart dividers made by cafekitsune }

I remember walking home from school with my knees all scraped up and a broken backpack, millions of books on carried by my small arm that had a bruise or two. It was actually only 5 books at best but it felt like more, as if holding a giant boulder. Walking ever so slowly, I remember how badly my body ached. I wish I could’ve called my mom and tell her to pick me up, but my cellphone was dead since my charger broke the other day. Nobody else in the house had the same cable so I was waiting for the weekend so momma could go and buy me a new one.

I gave quick glances to my surroundings as I happened to walk by a blue house with white roofs. The man who sat on the porch always looked at me weirdly. Why do creepy men live with themselves? It’s so gross to look at a 12 year old in such a perverted way, it also didn’t help that my uniform had previously shrunk in the dryer and shaped out my developing boobs more than it used to do, I always wondered why a chuck of my fat went to them, those things always held my entire body down and broke my back. Why did god give women extra flesh on their chest? It’s almost like he wanted us to suffer! I can just imagine him pointing down and laughing at all of us. God is cruel.

I remember struggling to find my keys, slight bullets of sweat running down forehead. I swear I would’ve broken down into tears if I didn’t get blessed right there and then when I felt my rough fingers collide with warm metal. I opened the door to my lovely home and was met with silence. I hated that. I wish daddy was here, he would’ve came running whenever he heard the door opening. Knowing it was me.

I let the strap of my ruined backpack go as I listened to the small thud of it hitting the waxed wooden floors. Seems like momma decided to clean the house today. My books were left unattended on the small coffee table next to the door. I could worry about them later.

The walk to the kitchen was kinda scary for me, I remember stopping when I looked up at momma who was chopping up strawberry. A jar of sugar and sliced mini croissants were next to the cutting board. A smile made its way to my lips, making me temporarily forget about the pain I was feeling in the moment, dragging myself to the dining table and pulling a chair before sitting on it and scooting myself back in. I never figured out which of my parents knew me the most. It was like half of my likings were known by momma, and the rest by daddy. And I liked it that way. It always reminded me that they care, which I am very grateful for. A lot of my friend’s parents don’t seem to have time for them anymore which feels like a small needle in my heart. How can parents not love their children? How can you betray your own creation like that? That should be a sin.

My thoughts were interrupted by Momma setting down a plate infront of me, it had 4 mini croissants with sugar coated strawberries squished in between each individual pair of two bread slices squishing it into one. ”당신에게 무슨 일이 일어났나요?” Momma spoke. Her voice was strained and when I looked at her face, it hurt me to see how much color was drained from it. She didn’t like seeing me hurt. I remember her always freaking out about it, but this time, her fragile body shook as tears picked on her eyes. I didn’t fully understand her, my Korean was pretty bad. Yet, I knew she was worried about my current state. Turns out trying to climb a tree isn’t the best afterschool activity. Which is pretty uncool if you ask me.

“I got hurt on the way here. Sorry.” My smile faded. Was that really all I had to say? Unfortunately, it was. And I think I should’ve really said something different because momma broke down completely as she crouched down and sat on her knees. Her skinny arm wrapping themselves around my stubby legs. I wish I could’ve done more to help her. But I didn’t. My hand just reached out for one of the small croissants as I took a bite out of it, nearly eating it whole. Watching as the strawberries red juice tainted my brown fingers. Digging its way onto my chewed nails and pale palm.

“I remember.”

A/N : I wrote this trying to blink away the sleep from my eyes wtf 💔💔