#i can tbe in my head i cant be alone with my thoughts right now

[toastsnaffler]

so tired I feel sick which is making me panic bc I can't cope with nausea which is making it harder to fall asleep which is making me more tired which is making me feel more sick everything in my life is stuck in a horrible cycle it's a fucking prison when will I get OUT

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

California King Bed (Jimin x You ONESHOT)

A/N: Oh my god I;m sorry this took so long. this ask was lost in my ask box I am so sorry. but I hope you will like this? <3

MASTERLIST

Chest to chest Nose to nose Palm to palm We were always just that close Wrist to wrist Toe to toe Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose

Nothing lasts forever.

That is what people always say and its something Y/N never believed in. Especially after she met Jimin.

Park Jimin.

What can she say about him? How can she even begin to describe him? Jimin is beautiful. Ethereal even. His eyes, his nose, his lips.. everything about him is just perfect. His smile, his gaze, his voice, the way he moves, everything about him mesmerized her. Its not just the way he looks thay captures her heart. Its also tbe way his eyes twinkle when he listens to her, how he remembers every single detail about her, what makes her laugh, what makes her sad, what makes her happy. He takes his time to get to know her. To really know her. She is drunk in love with Park Jimin and that is how it seems to be with him too.

The two of them were inseparable. Where Y/N is, Jimin will be there too. Where Jimin is, there is no doubt Y/N is there too. People can always find them cheek to cheek, softly kissing one another at every possible chance they get, fingers lightly entangling with one another as they make conversation with other people, hands softly curled around each other's waist whenever they were seated.

Jimin and Y/N cant get enough of each other since the first day they met.

They are always just that close.

Looking at them, how can anyone blame Y/N when she didnt believe that nothing last forever?

Because to her, her love and Jimin's is something made for eternity. Made to last forever and beyond. Her feelings will never change, that much she knows is true.

So how come when I reach out my finger It feels like more than distance between us

But love is a strange feeling. Nobody knows when it comes and nobody could ever guess when it will leave. Just a feeling, but it is enough to make you risk everything you have for that certain someone. Just a feeling, but its enough to make you smile for the rest of your life. Just a feeling but its capable to rip your heart into pieces.

"Are you sleeping over at the dorm again tonight?" Y/N finally find the courage to ask as she poke her food through their very silent dinner, something that has become a routine for them. Jimin raised his head from his plate and set his beautiful eyes that Y/N could never get enough off on her, softly giving her a smile.

"Yes. We have late practice again today. I'm sorry,"

Y/N hummed and nodded at the expected answer. This has been the third week in a row where Jimin has been sleeping over at the dorm. Its understandable since their come back is very near, and they needed all the practice and promotion they needed. But three weeks? It has never been that long before. Jimin will always find a way to come back to her before, be it only for an hour or two, just to share a sleepless night tangling in her sheets before heading back to practice, just to make sure she knows how much he is thinking about her.

But it felt different this time.

There's just some sort of... distance this time.

"But I will be here tomorrow night," Jimin smile at her, noticing the frown forming on her beautiful face.

Y/N's face light up, no longer able to hide her true feelings about the situation. She misses him. She misses every single thing about him and if tomorrow is the only night she is able to get, then that is what shes going to take. And shes going to take all of it.

The next day was spend pampering herself. Extra hour in the rose scented bath, extra lotions on her body, light makeup perfectly done, Jimin's favorite perfume sprayed all over her and carefully picked, of course from the few selection that has always been Jimin's favorite, night gown and delicate lingerie to wrapped around her body.

"Woah," was all Jimin could say when his tired eyes graces the figure sitting on the bed in the dimmed, rose petal scattered, bedroom, patiently waiting for him. Y/N smile shyly at him. "All of this, for me?"

"I-I just missed you," she nodded shyly. "Do you... miss me too?"

"Oh Y/N," Jimin dropped his bag from his shoulder and crawled on tbe bed, making his way all over her,  his soft lips on hers replacing his answer. Between the clashing of tounges, fighting for dominance like a man starve and fingers slowly stripping her off from all hides her from his eyes, Y/N failed to realized that Jimin never did answer her question.

The night felt long to Y/N, but if she has to spend forever this way, she would gladly accept it. Soft moans and cries of pleasures left her mouth as Jimin kept thrusting in and out of her, lips never stop kissing her neck and jaw, leaving marks for the world to see tomorrow, fingers fiddling with her two sensitive nubs. She miss him. She miss this. She miss being love by him and there is nothing she wont give to feel Jimin's attention on her like what he's doing right now.

"Ahh, I-I love you Park Ji-Jimin," she cried out along with her release of pleasure and Jimin catches her lips, muffling her moans, and again, in the smoke and shadow of lust and pleasure, she failed to realized that Jimin never said it back.

Eye to eye Cheek to cheek Side by side You were sleeping next to me Arm in arm Dusk to dawn With the curtains drawn And a little last night on these sheets

She woke up from her slumber in the middle of the night, shivering as she reached out for the warm body next to her. But the warmth she seek for, the warmth she yearns for, is no where she is able to reach out to. Feeling cold and confused, Y/N gets up from bed and her bare foot padded along the living room only to see a figure leaning against the corridor.

Jimin.

"Hey baby, what are you doing up?" She went over and give him a tight back hug. Oh how she miss him so much, although he is right here in front of her right now. She closes her eyes and inhale his scent. Jimin turned and flashed her a soft smile. A smile that Y/N know means something is wrong. That smile didnt reach his eyes, nor it makes his eyes turns to little slits, like it usually does if hes really happy.

"Is everything okay baby?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking. Dont worry about it," Jimin turns to face her, his hands on both side of her hips. "Go back to bed, I'll be right in,"

"No. I'll stay here with you until you are ready to go in," Y/N hugs him tight and placed her head on his shoulder, inhaling his beautiful scent that is so familiar to her. "Jimin... you know you can tell me anything right? Anything at all if something is bothering you?" Her soft voice grazed his ears, barely above a whisper.

Jimin hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Ye-yeah. I know that Y/N. Thank you," he smile.

"I love you so much Park Jimin,"

The air was met with silence the moment those words were uttered and Y/N felt her heart starts to crack but she didnt say anything further, closing her eyes tight and hugging him close. If this is the only way she can have Jimin close to her, then she will take it. She rather live in a world where Jimin felt far and distanced from her rather than not having him with her at all.

"Lets... go to bed," was what Jimin finally said when he answered, kissing her forehead and taking her hand, leading her to the bedroom. "Sleep Y/N. I promise when you wake up I will still be here,"

Y/N woke up, still sleepy the next morning and remembers than Jimin was supposed to be here. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and saw Park Jimin still laying on his side of the bed, breathing softly. A smile immediately grace her lips.

He didnt leave.

He stayed with her.

Although he is not right behind her, hands around her waist holding her tight as he usually is when she woke up, although he is curled up all alone at the corner of the other side of the bed, Y/N was still grateful.

From dusk to dawn, with curtains still drawn in to stop the harsh light of reality from entering the room and shine on them, with the marks of last night all over the sheets, Jimin is still here.

Sleeping next to her.

And she could not have asked for more.

So how come when I reach out my finger It feels like more than distance between us

Jimin comes back home more often since that night. But even when he is here, it doesnt feel like he's here. Is it the constant awkward silence between them that seems to always appear now? Is it the lack of laughter and shy glances exchanged with each other? Or is it the none existance heated kisses shared betweenthe two of them like they always do?

Empty looks and unsincere smile was all Jimin ever gave her whenever he's home. It breaks her to see Jimin pushed around his food on the plate and blanked out during their conversations while cuddling. How his touch is no longer infused with love and want and just feel oh so cold.

Y/N couldnt put her finger on it. Something is wrong with her relationship with Jimin and she dont even know what the problem is for her to even try to fix it.

She feels like crying. But why is she even crying for when Jimin is right here besides her on the same bed every night?

Jimin is her everything and just the thought of the growing distance thats keeps on coming between them scares her. How is she ever going to survive without him? How?

Y/N dont know what to do.

And she's scared.

Just when I felt like giving up on us You turned around and gave me one last touch That made everything feel better And even then my eyes got wetter

"Ji-Jimin?"

"Hmm?" He raised his head from the book he is skimming through and looks at her. They havent spoken for almost and hour, which has become a daily routine now, silenced, like two strangers. Y/N has been fiddling with her hands the whole time, stealing glances at her perfect boyfriend. How can he be so at ease? Doesnt he feel the tension and awkwardness happening between them?

"Is... something bothering you? Lately?" She carefully places her words, not wanting to set off Jimin and send him running again. Jimin close his book and furrowed his brows at her question.

"Bothering me? What do you mean?"

"I-I dont know... lately you seem distance... detached? I dont know but I can feel like something is not right. Is there anything you want to share with me?" Jimin smiles and stood up, taking slow steps towards her.

"Not at all. Everything is fine. Maybe you are just overthinking things baby," he reached out for her face and carressed her cheeks. Y/N immediately close her eyes and leaned into his touch. God, how she miss this. How she miss him. "Feel better?"

At the sound of Jimin's voice her eyes snapped open and reality came back to her. No, she cant be drowned in this again. Pulled by his charms. She needs to know whats going on with their relationship before everything turns into dust. She slowly removed Jimin's hand that is still cupping her face and placed it on her lap.

"No.. Jimin. I dont think I'm overthinking anything," she stuttered, already feeling the tears prickling the corners of her eyes. Jimin looks at her, wide eye with confusion. "I can feel it... something is not right between us. Please Jimin, please tell me what it is so I can fix us. Please?"

Her tears are finally rolling down her cheeks, emotions is no longer something she can control.  Jimin was silenced, dumbfounded, lost of words. What is he supposed to say when he himself dont know why he is feeling this way?

"Jimin, please! Tell me. I deserve that much," Y/N is full blown sobbing. Jimin's silence confirmed her biggest fear. She had hope he would smile, laugh even, at her accusation. Saying shes crazy. Saying they are okay, that he still loves her as much as the day they first met. But silence? Nothing could be right if she was met with silenced. "Jimin..." she sobbed and shakes his hand which is still in her hold.

Jimin suddenly stood up and paced around the room, softly mumbling, so soft Y/N almost didnt catch it but she did.

"I dont know okay..."

"Wh-what?"

"I dont know okay!" His raised voice surprised her. Jimin was never one to raise his voice or lose out to anger. This is a very rare sight to see and it scares her  "I dont know whats the problem either so how am I supposed to tell you?" He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back, a sight Y/N used to love seeing but right now only seems to break her heart. "I dont know why I'm feeling this way!"

"Wh-what way Jimin?" Her voice stuttered as she ask the question she doesnt want to know the answer to. "What are you trying to say?" Jimin kept quiet for a moment, realizing he shouldnt have said what he said. But theres no point in hiding anymore now that everything is already out in the open.

"The way I feel about you..."

"H-how do you feel about me Jimin?" Her tears are running down her face like an endless waterfall as she stares at Jimin's frowning face who is trying to find the right word to break her heart. Jimin closes his eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Like..like I love you less,"

Those five words feels like a gunshot, a sharp knife to Y/N's heart. Jimin finally said it. He loves her less.

"Is... is that how you truly feel?" She dared herself to raised her eyes to look straight into Jimin's. The eyes that used to twinkle with love, longing and lust, now is only filled with guilt and confusion.

"I-I dont know Y/N," Jimin tries to reach out for her but she flinched away.

"No Jimin! You cant do this to me! Its either you love me or you dont!" She yelled, shocking Jimin who never saw this side of her before. "There is no in between!"

"Y/N please. Please dont be like this. Lets talk things through. Lets-"

"No," Y/N angrily wipe her tears away and grab her bag, ready to leave. "Whats the point Jimin? We could have tallked about it earlier but you choose to avoid me, distance yourself from me, hiding your feelings for me!" She paused as her tears makes it harder for her to breathe. "Thats enough for me to know how you really feel Jimin, eventhough you think you havent figure it out yet!" She sniffled. "Theres no point fighting for someone who doesnt want it, and right now I'm done fighting," she turned on her heels, ready to exit and just stay far away from Park Jimin but he was faster, pulling her hard by the arm, making her stumble back into his chest.

Jimin quickly engulfed her in a hug, head on her shoulder.

"Dont go. Please dont leave like this. Dont..."

"I cant do this Jimin..." she cried. "I love you too much to let you play me like this. You will break me," her broken sobs filling the cold empty room. "You will ruin me Jimin..."

"I'm sorry... I truly am Y/N..." Jimin raised her chin up, making her look at him. For a moment, only for a moment, she thought she saw the old Jimin back in his eyes and when Jimin leaned in to capture her lips in his, nothing else matters.

With her tears still streaming down her face, Jimin lift her up, carrying her to the bedroom, and lay her down on the bed, slowly trailing kisses down her body as he undress her. Now a moaning mess, Y/N can no longer think of anything else as her hands helplessly pull on Jimin's hair as his plush lips nibble and suckle, tounge proding into her most private area. She loves him, she miss him and theres nothing she wont give for this moment to last forever.

Panting as she stares at Jimin who has crawled back up to her face, lips teasingly licking off her juice that is all over his face, she can feel herself crying again as Jimin's soft eyes looks down at her and start kissing her softly. So soft and gentle, like two lovers in love.

That's what they are isnt it? But why doesnt it feel lkke it?

"Dont cry Y/N... dont cry. It will be okay. We will be okay," was the only thing he repeated as he slid into her, thrusting slowly, as if trying to recreate the love between them that they both know is slowly dissappearing.

So confused wanna ask you if you love me But I don't wanna seem so weak

Jimin kissed her forehead and cuddle her close as they pantn still breathing hard from their intimate activity, something Y/N wish would last forever. Y/N lay her head on Jimin's chest, feeling his naked hot skin burning her equally naked body, the sound of his rapid heart beating calming her.

"Jimin?" Her voice small as she calls out to him.

"Yeah?"

"Are we... ok?" Jimin hugs her tighter and kissed her forehead again.

"To be honest Y/N... I dont know..." he stroke her hair, the answer makes he feel suffocated. How can he say that after what they just did? "But I promise I will figure it out. I promise you that baby,"

Y/N hugs him tight, pressing her body closer to him, never wanting to let go. Tears are starting to prickle her eyes again.

"Ji-Jimin... do you lo-" Y/N wanted to ask, she wanted to know, but she couldnt. She doesnt want to seem so weak, to give Jimin such a power over her, knowing how much she wants him, needed him, love him.

"Yes Y/N?"

"N-nothing..."

"Hmmm okay," he held her tighter. "Sleep baby,"

"If I do... when I wake up... will you still be here besides me? On this bed?" Scared to ask, but she needs to know. Will he be gone when she open her eyes again? Will everything that just happened tonight only be like a dream? He stroke her hair softly, kissing her hairline.

"I will. I promise Y/N. When you wake up I will be here. And we will work things out. We will be okay again," Jimin kissed her forehead and both her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks and finally her lips.

"Trust me. We will be okay again..." was the last thing she heard before dozing off, hands holding Jimin tight.

I'll be California wishing on these stars For you're heart on me My California king

The bright sunlight pierced through the window as they had forgotten to pull the curtains close last night. Blinking and rubbing her eyes, Y/N stirred and wake up, finally remembering what happen last night and a smile graced her lips.

Jimin promised they will work things out. They will be okay.

"Jimin?"

She turned to her side and see an empty bed. Did he went down already?

Y/N padded around the house, her heart beating faster as there are no sight of Jimin everywhere. Maybe he went out to get breakfast, he always does that before.

But all hopes crashed when she reached the kitchen and saw a mug of now cold coffee, with a note on it.

Y/N

I'm sorry. But I cant do this anymore

PJM

Stunned and numb, her heart slowly cracking and finally broken into its last tiny pieces, she swing her hand towards the mug, smashing it hard, making it fall to the ground and break into tiny little pieces, the coffee dripping all over the table and the floor, just like her heart. With tears finally running free down her face, she collapsed on the floor, not bothering how the fallen coffee dirtied her clothes or how the glass prickled her skin, making deep red sight of blood oozing out.

It doesnt matter to her. Nothing hurts harder than a broken heart anyway.

All I ever want is your heart Park Jimin. You are my everything, my king.

Maybe I've been California dreaming

Owning Park Jimin's heart is only a dream, and its time for her to wake up.

[incoherentlynonexistent-blog]

Unfortunate Outcome

Amazing how one person can change everything.....incredible as that same person becomes somebody they swore and promised to never become.....funny how you believed them, and the unfortunate outcome is the consequences you suffer because you trusted their word over everyone and everything....

It's so degrading...to now be where you're at only because you believed in something that wasnt ever real...

Hurtful to actually feel the loneliness kick in.....

Depressing to remember how little of an importance you were to them....

Unwilling to heal and move on because how do you pick yourself up after consistently being there for someone then for it to become abandoned and forgotten.....

It's the Unfortunet outcome to their mishaps that led me to becoming helpless and needy.

Sad thing is, I don't even know what it is that i want

Idk what I need....

I know I dont need this constant bullshit

Unfortunetly because I had so much hope and expectations

Its stupid to look back and realize how naive and oblivious I used to be

Now I guess they can say I made my own mess when they're the ones who lied and ridiculed me because I was drug along for so long

The most unfortunate thing about this is the outcome. Despite how much "better" they find this to be, I won't ever be able to be better....yea I have my good days, but even those arent good.....

Doesnt matter where they go

Doesnt matter the time they let slip by

Hell it doesn't matter what they do .

In still feeling the same things

I doubt ill ever have anything to help me endure this

I live everyday waiting still

I go about each day hoping anyone would love to be here again

I literally feel myself slipping

I'm already dead because of them

Added with how I'm still feeling

I'm not sure of this feeling will subside

It's all mind consuming

I can't just stop about this

It's the one thing that no-one understands

The reason why I'm like this

The answer is simple

Given the empty promises and then being just thrown way like yesterdays garbage

I'm miserable with this unfortunate outcome.....

I didnt get closure

Instead I get the only thing that's never changed

Them leaving my life.....

Something promised against but in the end

They all prove to be the same person that leff you to begin with ......

It's hard living and feeling like this

I have no faith

I don't have confidence

I'm trying to find a purpose

But I can't get far or enough to cease the memories....

They're just haunting to me now...

Only because of how and what I've done

You really think I can just magically become better

No.

It's not possible unless you actually are willing to be here

Or unless you actually gave me the closure I've been desiring

Until I'm given that

I will not get better.

I will not heal

This unfortunate outcome will be my life sentence

This isn't what I what wanted

None of this is

I don't want the depression

I dont care for the desire.

I just want to feel happy again.

I want a reason to actually smile and feel good about myself......

I just wished someone would hear me out

After asking for three years now...

I cant just move on

God Damn it man

If they only knew just how bad I really am

I wonder if things would be different....

I wonder if anyone wouldve left....

I just want someone to be here for me

Irs not ever been about my sex life or being in a relationship

My goal was to only be around the people who want to be here

Maybe ive beckne to fucked up to obtain that chance again

Unfortunate outcome is me being treated in such manner when the pupils who inflicted all that hurt and damage are the ones at fault for me becoming this way. They shut me out because I'm still fucked up over it. I was the original victim that became traumatized and untrusting, but I wouldnt be this irritable bitter suicidally depressed person that's unwilling to move on if it weren't for their actions.

I don't trust anybody any more

I don't even crack a smile

You know who you are

The person im addressing anyway ..

I hope you're happy

I hope you feel accomplished at what you created

With the unfortunate outcome that you refuse to have anything to do with what you started and fucked up numerous times......it leaves me like this.....

Idk how else to stress this fact

Because I cant get that little bit of respect....

When I shouldn't have been involved anyway

I should've walked away

I should've listened to the voice in my head

"Don't worry on going to the laundry mat

If I'd knew then what I knew now

I would've never showed up

I would have never existed

But its thanks to you ive gotten like this

Thanks to you I sit all day every day for the past few years pondering about whats wrong with me

Why am I not wanted. Why does everyone leave....see that's the difference between us, you're the one who does all the leaving. I linger because I believe in equal opportunity especially when so much effort was put into it in the first place. I believe in those who remain loyal and true on their word, but you seem to still believe in empty promises. You're using you're ears to see and you're eyes to hear. You're the most cruel and cold hearted creature. Not human.....because with human emotion, I couldnt do what you do, I cant lead them on, shut them out, I cant make someone feel like their the one for me, but then shut them down and out when the one I want is around. I will never understand you're selfish decisions and with how you know youve done wrong but you still don't bother to change.

Maybe I've become an unforgivable asshole, but that's the unfortunate outcome when someone so heartless just takes you for granted then you're the bad guy for not only reacting actually a little more civil than you should've, but because god knows whatever words come from my posts or even texts, god forbid they remind you consistently of what you've done. Everything I am and everything I do now is because of you..

Days I'm angry, I blame you

Days I'm depressed, It's your fault

Days I cut, blamed you because just the little bit of open honesty wouldve prevented me cutting myself, but only to relieve that pain that I cant get out through crying.

Its the pain that makes your chest ache and have the urge to just scream in agony. Its that lodged in lump that swells in your chest when everything that was promised, shared, and enjoyed together now sets this darkened, and dead look to it. I find myself shying away from every and any little thing that you had any relations to. My music has changed. My faith in life itself is nonexistent. Ive become so angry and bitter, that I am constantly snappy.

It doesnt matter how angry I were to get with anyone else, because every one probably tells you I'm fine.....

I'm not fine

Im not ok

I'm suffocating myself

Its hard to not still be bitter....

How can I not still be angry when you left once again.....ive been irrational and disrespectful, but I never thought that this unfortunate outcome would involve me getting worse....I figured at some point within these four years .....I figured you wouldve not done this so much that I'm probably permanently fucked up....I mean fucking look at me...have you ever seen anyone so pathetic and humiliating?....

Loving someone is so beautiful but sad, because when you fall for someone, there's some part of you that breaks too, its gone for ever because its with that person you wanted to give your whole heart to, but they'll only always have what's actually left of you. For some reason being in that persons presence or just respected enough to be even thought about by them, makes life worth living even if I were to spend it alone. Its not because you lack feelings or really the past that I held over your head....I just wanted for someone to finally treat me differently.....

You wound up treating me the same

This is my unfortunate outcome

Its been a battle especially the last two years

I've never in my life have I ever felt so much pain

Ive never loved anyone as much as I love you

The unfortunate outcome for you is me being gone when you want to come back

I already know how it's to be

Its why I never understood you

But I still kept trying to

Maybe that was my mistake

Because my unfortunate outcome is the distance between us and how little I've meant within the last couple years....idk myself what you could ever do to make things better.....

Unfortunate outcome is what's done is done....

Its ruined

We're ruined

Were gone....

The end....

Hope you're doing well.....

Sorry for being impulsive and annoying

I'm sorry for being a fucked up mess.

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness....

Wishing you luck on your endeavors

Ill miss you

I have been already

Life just won't ever be the same. I just know if it was went about differently I would be able to handle the sudden blocked phone and Tumblr better than what I am now. I'm wasting mt time is the sad thing because I'm sire you're thought is why if I'm to be the way I was before, well, it would be nice to have at least that wanting to talk to me or even asking things sbout my life. I literally have been wanting to fit in, and I'm sorry I tried to get in your way. I'm sorry for being this way period.....in sorry I can't bring myself to be better.....I literally feel like I have no other place to go or anything to do.....I should be doing soemthing with my life, bur in not.....only bevause I spend every day trying to avert seeing or even tbe chance to see you kr anything related to you That will rip my chest right then and there.

It's those things I want to feel better about.....I want to be able to see you without getting so severely depressed. That's the last unfortunate outcome, because of that, how I feel.....I think it's best if we just never saw each other ever again......Obviosuly you're already on that route but if that's really what you want, then you really will not ses me ever again. I mean you can scream yell my name. I will not look at any part of you.....I'm prudent because maybe youre right, just sticking with avoiding them, and I guess you do lose some feeling. I hate being like this. Idk what else to do. I dont need your help. I need your understanding. I dont need to be questioned, at least at what I'm doing, because idk anymore.....I get flustered easily because my mind stays so caught up on you that I fuck up everything I touch or work on.....then it goes back to the angry blaming you thing.....never ending......so how can I get better? What do I do? You just left. You didn't leave a note, you didnt say goodbye, and of all things I've ever done for you, you never helped my unfortunate outcomes...you rejected me time and time again.

I just idk how to be ok.....

I just feel like I'm losing touch with my existence

As in because you live in my mind so much I try to avoid that too....I've become a blank spaced emotionless robot....I'm depressed but I look solemn. I then break soon as I snap.....I'm getting worse.....idk its so hard to put into words. I just feel myself losing control over everything including my decisions.....

Whether you believe me or not.....I don't care to convince you anymore. Honestly I'm not even doing that now. I just needed to get what I could out....atleast While its flowing....well it was....I think I explained the best I could and linked the way I think...

Respond or don't respond

Respectfully, I'm refraining from tagging your blog name in the post. If you see it and or read it then its actually ok if you don't ever speak to me again.....I mean you're the one in charge and I know if you don't soeak first, then there's just nothing left to do but just hope you enjoy life.

Take care of yourself Kourt.....thanks for everything.....