#i can still wear my headphones to avoid this genre of stress but still know when people are trying to get my attention

[an--artistic--autistic]

i have discovered that in the accessibility settings of my phone it can tell me about nearby sounds like someone knocking on a door or sirens

i love wearing headphones to block out noise but it stresses me out that i might not hear things when I wear them (and my hearing in general is Not Great even without headphones), and a lot of my music has sounds that could be someone knocking on my door, which stresses me out

this is amazing and i can just put any anxiety i have about that away when i turn this setting on

[farfromsugafanfic]

Sutures - Chapter Seven: Knotted

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): eavesdropping, angst, Yoongi kinda being a dick but not too bad lol

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

The warm water ran down your skin and onto the tiled floor of the shower. It was odd having a shower where you could stretch your arms out wide in, you were used to small showers that barely allowed you to shave your legs without hitting your head. But, the shower at the dorm was huge and you couldn't help, but stay in for much longer than was needed, allowing the water to massage your shoulders. 

After finding out that all of South Korea (and probably beyond) knew your name and thought you cheated on Minki, you'd curled up on the seat of the car. If you hadn't let Eunji drag you to the bar that night, none of this ever would've happened. You never would've met Yoongi. 

Your heart pained when the thought crossed your mind. Never meeting Yoongi. Despite the fact, he seemed to be more trouble than he was worth, there was part of your heart that didn't want to let go of him. And, it was the part you knew you needed to suppress. 

You heard a soft knock on the door, barely audible over the sound of the water. You knew it was him before he even spoke, you weren't sure if it was due to the soulmates thing or if your heart truly was betraying you because as soon as you heard his voice, all the stress you held in your chest released. 

"Sumi? Is it all right if I come in?"

"Yeah," you said. You weren't overly worried about Yoongi catching sight of your naked body. There was enough steam on the shower doors to disguise you, and it wasn't like he hadn't seen it before. 

"We can do my--uh--date once you get out," he said. "It's nothing much, but I hope it's okay. I brought you some clothes."

"Thanks." 

"Do you prefer coffee or tea?"

"Tea." 

"Okay, when you're done just come to my studio. I've left you a note with the code." 

---

You finished a few minutes later wrapping your hair up in a towel. You glanced down at the clothes he'd left for you, smiling when recognized them as pajamas with Shooky, his BT21 character on them. You smiled. 

You changed and braided your hair so that it would stay out of the way and would be easy to tend to the next morning before the flight to Japan. After washing your face, you reached into the pocket of the pajamas and pulled out the sticky note with the code to Yoongi's studio. 

Despite having been in his studio before, it felt odd entering the code yourself. You held your finger gingerly above the keypad and entered each number slowly, scared that if you messed up the code an alarm would go off. 

4...6...5...5...9...click!

The lock released and you heaved open the door surprised that it was so heavy. When you walked in, you found blankets on the couch and a laptop perched on the desk a couple feet from the desk. You smiled and sat down on the couch, crossing your legs, and pulling a blanket over yourself. 

Despite having been in the studio before, it seemed dirtier than before. Papers were scattered across his desk and a few coffee cups that escaped the trash. Ever since you had come together, it was obvious he wasn't getting as much work done, and that that was frustrating him. 

You also noticed the three framed photos near his main computer. One of him and the other members all wearing leis and posing in what you assumed as a Hawaiian airport. The other was of you presumed his family; his parents and what looked like an older brother. Yoongi was still a teenager in the picture and you couldn't help, but smile at how awkwardly adorable he looked with hair that stuck up and a face that wasn't quite adult yet. The third photo was that of a brown poodle puppy. 

You glanced down at the desk and noticed a photo peeking out from underneath a handful of papers. You pushed it aside and gasped when you saw that it was actually a print off of an email with a photo attachment. A photo of you and Yoongi from the alleyway. His arms around you and his mask down beneath his chin. From the angle, it looked as if he were kissing your forehead and you sighed, knowing Yoongi would probably not do such a thing in public, even if your relationship was completely real and straightforward. 

You noticed the email address came from the presumed photographer and your chest tied in knots as you hoped that meant Yoongi was trying to prevent the photo from being released. You heard the code being punched in and quickly shuffled the email back under papers and picked up the picture of Yoongi and his family and pretended to study it intensely. 

"Hey," he said, holding two mugs, making you curious as to how he opened the door in the first place. His eyes widened slightly when he saw you holding the framed photo. 

"Sorry," you said, placing the photo back on his desk. "Your family looks nice." 

Yoongi smiled. "They really want to meet you," he said. He handed you the hot mug of tea. "I didn't want to pressure you, especially since we're trying to sever this." 

"My parents have been the same," you said. "They're so happy about this whole soulmate thing. They didn't even care that you were an idol." 

"My parents were happy you were normal." 

You laughed. "Are we watching a movie?"

"Yeah," Yoongi said. "I have a couple things to finish up first if you don't mind. You can pick something while you wait, it should only be a few minutes." 

You nodded and started scrolling through Netflix on his laptop. You scrolled through the various offerings, unsure of Yoongi's preferences. Would it be inappropriate to watch something romance heavy? Would it make him uncomfortable? 

Yoongi seemed like the type of guy to like a classic gangster movie, but that wasn't something you were into. Although, you were fairly certain neither of you were huge fans of horror.

You eventually settled on a movie somewhere in the middle with a smattering of everything. A little action and a little romance, but not so unbearably cheesy that you wouldn't enjoy it. 

When you glanced up at Yoongi, he was seated at his desktop with headphones perched atop his gray hair. His head bounced slowly to a beat you couldn't hear and you could see bits of sounds and recordings that he was arranging on his screen. 

You took a sip of your tea and waited.

---

"Thanks for meeting up with me on such short notice," you said, adjusting the laptop screen so that there wasn't a glare on your face. "My schedule changed and I'm going to be out of the city for the next week." 

"It's not a problem," Jinwoo said, smiling, a pen in his hand and just the corner of his notebook visible. "If you don't mind me asking, where are you going?" 

"Japan," you said, not thinking much of your answer.

"Oh wait," Jinwoo said. "Jang Sumi? I think I saw you on a magazine cover? With Min Yoongi?" 

"Oh, uh, yeah," you said. "That's me." 

"So, you're his soulmate? How does that work?" 

"I don't really want to talk about this right now," you said. "Unless you can do it in English." You tried to lighten the mood, tried to make it sound like the fact your client knew what was happening in your personal life didn't make a rock sink low in your stomach.

Jinwoo laughed. "It's okay, I understand. I imagine it's hard having to uproot your life just because of your biological soulmate or whatever." 

You smiled, his flippant tone catching you off guard. "It would really help if he wasn't so busy. I can't blame the guy, he has a fantastic career, but it's hard on me." 

"You're still wearing his pajamas though."

"What?" 

"Shooky," he said. "Suga created that character." 

"Oh," you said. "He just gave them to me. Maybe he had an extra pair or something." 

"Or, he likes you more than he lets on."

"He really doesn't. We were supposed to have a date tonight, but he just kept working and forgot about it." Your lips tightened when you finished the sentence. You'd only talked to Jinwoo once before and your heart pounded as you realized what you'd just said. "Uh, sorry, you're just easy to talk to." 

"It's all right," he said. "I like to think we're friends, so it's okay."

---

Yoongi realized you were gone after almost two hours. He took off his headphones and glanced down at his watch and cursed. 

If it weren't for the crumpled blankets on the couch, he'd never know you'd ever been there. He knew he'd let you down, it was a simple movie, two hours at the most. He couldn't even spare two hours for you?

He exited his studio and headed down the hallway towards your room. He could hear your laugh, which made him smile. Thankful the hallway was abandoned, lest his smile due to your presence be discovered, he pressed his shoulder against your door frame. Your door was cracked and he could see you seated at your desk. He raised his hand to knock lightly on your door when he caught a look at your computer screen. 

It was another boy. He was young and Yoongi didn't like the way his eyes seemed to devour you, even through the screen. 

"He just gave them to me. Maybe he had an extra pair or something." You looked down at the pajamas you had on and ran your thumb over the collar.

He couldn't hear the boy's response, but your eyes widened and your shoulders tensed. 

"He really doesn't. We were supposed to have a date tonight, but he just kept working and forgot about it." Yoongi balled his fists. You were being reckless. It was obvious that you were uncomfortable with all the media attention, but you were doing nothing to help yourself. "Uh, sorry, you're just easy to talk to."  

Yoongi left your doorway and rambled back down the hallway.

---

"Hey Jiminie, can you pass me the other end?" 

Jimin sat on the opposite of the couch in the living room. He was in the middle of slurping up noodles, but quickly put down his bowl and chopsticks to hand you the end of the scarf. 

"Jiminie? I'm older than you, right?"

"Oh, I guess you are," you said. "But, you're so cute, it's easy to forget. You don't mind, do you?" A smirk broke out on your lips. 

"No, I like it actually." 

Jimin had just picked up his bowl of ramen when Yoongi came into the room. You could practically feel the anger rolling off him in waves. 

"Sumi," he said. "We need to talk?"

You looked up at him, your eyes large and confused. "About what?" 

Jimin had taken an interest, obviously noticing the older boy's anger. He sat down his ramen and scooted closer to you. "Yoongi, what's wrong?"

Jimin's question only annoyed him more. His body stiffened and his eyes looked nearly black. 

"What's wrong? She's so worried about her image and all the publicity, but yet is telling one of her clients all about us."

"Were you spying on me?"

"I came looking for you after--"

You looked up at him, your arms crossed. "I never would've left if--"

"That's not the point!" Yoongi's voice raised slightly. Although, he wasn't yelling. He didn't seem like to yell when he got angry, rather he sizzled in the heat until he popped like a popcorn kernel. "You can't just tell someone like him! You have no idea who this guy is! What if he goes to the press? We'd have another Minki on our hands! Are you stupid?"

Tears pricked at your vision and you felt Jimin's hand on your wrist, but it left as soon as you moved to rub your eyes. 

"Yoongi, calm down. She's not used to all this. She just made a mistake." 

"I didn't go on that date to watch you work, Yoongi. I'm sorry if I got frustrated and vented to someone who listened. But, this never would've happened if you would've just watched the movie. We were supposed to get to know each other." 

"I guess you know who I am now." 

---

"I'm sorry, Sumi," Jimin said, following you into your room and plopping beside you on your bed. "Yoongi sometimes gets like this. I promise he'll get over it in a couple days." 

"I really don't want to go to Japan, Jimin. I don't want to be around him." Your face fell into your hands. "But, I have to." 

"Shh, Sumi. It'll be okay. Just try to get some sleep. I'll stay with you if you want." 

You shook your head. "No," you said. "Thank you though. It just doesn't feel right." 

He nodded, seeming to understand and left you alone. 

You laid down and pulled the covers to your chin. You hated to turn Jimin away. The last thing you wanted was to be alone, but ever since that night with Yoongi, only his arms made you feel safe. 

You silently cursed and pulled Kitty to your chest.

---

Jimin shut your door quietly and shook his head. He hated to see you and Yoongi fight. From the day he met you, he could tell there something odd about your dynamic. The quiet understanding of each other, but yet the fierce opposition.

He passed by Yoongi's studio, the light on. Jimin knew Yoongi would probably spend the rest of the night there, not wanting to step foot in the hallway due to the fear of facing you again. 

Jimin smiled as he remembered your ragged stuffed cat. He'd done just as you had asked and placed Kitty in the donation pile. It was only later when making another trek into the living room to place more into boxes that he noticed Yoongi slipping the stuffed cat into his bag. 

He hadn't said anything then, but the morning you asked him if he was the one who'd saved the hapless creature, he couldn't help but sneak a glance at the true savior who hid his smile behind sips of morning coffee.

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets

OK! This is my first time EVER posting an imagine on Tumblr! So please love me and don’t hate it lol. I'm also not sure how many parts there will be to this, but you can expect probably at least three. Let me know what you like and don’t! Any ideas?

Summary: For the past three years, Beth has struggled and fought against the notion that she has a soulmate. It was only when she met six other girls who were in the same predicament that she finally decided that this was her life. The only real problem? Her soulmate has no idea that she even exists. Much less that soulmates are even a thing. Will she ever get to meet her soulmate, the ever popular and beloved Kim Namjoon of BTS? Does she even want to anymore?

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: none

Even now, as my feet lead me through the airport here in Seoul, I can’t quite believe that this is actually my life. Even now, three years later, the feeling of disbelief mingled with the thrill and fear of it all lingers.

To anyone here, I simply look like another tourist. Headphones in, not a care in the world except for keeping my backpack on my shoulders and taking one step at a time. I pass a group of girls loitering by the stairs, completely decked out in BTS merch. I smile at them, my action going unnoticed by my mask and hat low on my head. Am I a tourist or celebrity?

Neither. And yet, in some twisted way, both.

To my eternal horror and delight, six of my closest (and weirdest) friends await me at the baggage claim, welcome signs held up high.

All of them are from either here in South Korea or Japan, yet despite our differences we just click.

It’s something that I’m still not used to.

Their loud squeals can be heard bouncing off the walls of the airport the second I come into view, and I thank the heavens above for the mask and hat I’m wearing which shields my bright smile from the rest of the world. They would never let me hear the end of it if they knew just how excited I was to be back.

“You’re back!”

“Finally, you’ve kept us waiting long enough.”

“Wow, look at you. You look like a whole celebrity.”

“Since when did our little B grow up so much?”

I roll my eyes lovingly at them, unable to hold back as we all rush toward each other in a fit of excitement. A year was way too long.

“You’ve made it look like I’m coming back from military service or something.” I joke with my closest friends, laughing as Minsuh pokes my ribs in defense.

“It feels like it, too. You look like you’re coming out of a battle or something.”

I feign offense. “It’s called jet-lag, thank you very much. Wow, some people never change, do they?” I accept a hug from Aera, and only when I set my chin on her shoulder do I notice the two cameras trained on us.

Ah yes. That is one thing that I haven’t missed. Aera silently attaches a mic to my sweatshirt, clipping it on with a conspiratorial wink. She knows just how much I despise our ongoing documentary.

The cameramen are kind enough, shadowing us constantly in an attempt to compile enough content to someday show our soulmates. However I can’t help but feel like it’s a bit hopeless at times. I highly doubt our boys will ever watch the material, they seem busy enough. And we’re not that entertaining.

But who knows? The most famous band in the world tends to surprise me.

“Is it the balloons? It’s all the balloons, isn't’ it.” Kyung-Soon fiddles with the balloons in her hands, the mass floating above her in an attempt to block out any light from above. The sight pulls a giggle out of me, tired as I may be. I waddle over to her, one of the girls easing the backpack off of my shoulders and grunting at the weight.

I wrap her up in a hug, knowing just how much she tends to stress and over think. “The balloons look great. You know me, I just get embarrassed easily. But I love them.”

“I wonder how you would react if it was Namjoon holding the balloons instead of Soon-ah.” My head swivels to my best friend, glaring strongly. Himari only returns the look, her smirk growing. “You get embarrassed so easily, I’m just wondering what that would be like.”

The mention of my soulmate has my cheeks burning, and I offer up a silent prayer of gratitude for the mask I still have on.

The other girls take up the conversation, wondering aloud how I would react if it was my soulmate picking me up from the airport instead of his band member’s soulmates. Himari’s Japanese accent cuts clear through the rabble, making me feel right at home even as I secretly plan to embarrass her later on. Usually a well placed comment about j-hope’s latest concept photos will leave her reeling and red-faced.

The cameras edge closer, and I leap up grabbing my luggage before I can be embarrassed even more.

“Time to go!” I shout, ignoring the snickers from behind me. “Himari, since you’re so keen on helping me today would you mind bringing my backpack?”

“Yeah, got it.”

“Ha, just like you Beth. Way to avoid the conversation.” A less noticeable Japanese accent greets me, and I turn to see Ichika already by my side. I raise my eyebrows at the girl only a year my senior.

“Your Korean sounds great, Ichika!” She smiles at me, her delicate features reminding me of a flower. Ichika looked like a piece of art, which I guess made sense considering that she had a soulmate who would probably recognize that same fact immediately upon meeting her. At least, I’ve heard that Taehyung has an eye for art. Or maybe he just has an artsy personality? I can’t remember. Probably both.

“Thanks,” she replies, giving me a firm high five. “I missed you!” I breathe out a sigh of relief. It’s always been so refreshing how honest Ichika is.

“Missed ya too,” I mumble out, suddenly disoriented in the humid air as we exit the airport. By now we’ve attracted our fair share of strange looks and even a few stragglers, who follow us solely because of our small camera crew.

Once outside, Aera gently herds me in the direction of a couple of black cars. I nod to the managers the BigHit sent us as they open the car door for us and help to put our things away. I can see one eyeing the mess of balloons that Kyung-Soon still clings to, calculating how on earth to fit seven girls and seventy balloons into two small cars. (Ok, maybe not seventy, but it feels like it)

I turn to help Kyung-Soon, but find Minsuh already there. The sweet girl, only six months older than me, is always quick to help. Typically her and Aera are inseparable, but I’m glad to see that Minsuh has slowly been pushing herself to mingle with the others. It’s another thing that makes sense, seeing that Minsuh’s boy is Jungkook and Aera’s is Jimin. As far as I know, those two are pretty close as well.

Minsuh smiles shyly at me, sidling over to give me a quick hug before going back to her work. The cameraman makes sure to catch the sweet action, never one to miss a candid moment.

Was that cute enough for you? I silently ask Bang Si Hyuk. There’s no doubt that these will be reviewed and only the kindest, funniest, and cutest moments will make the cut.

Pity for Namjoon, but that means I will probably only be featured in a little bit of the documentary. Oh well, if he’s curious he can come find me himself. I’m done waiting. Or caring.

“What are you pouting about?”

Himari’s voice drags me out of my stupor, and I shrug my shoulders in response. Her happy demeanor doesn’t falter as she looks into my eyes like she can read them. There’s an underlying seriousness that few get to know, but I’ve been lucky enough to see it several times.

“Just tired,” I bump her hip with mine before we get the ok to all pile into the car. She doesn’t press the matter, but I can count on her slipping it into the conversation again once we’re alone. Once the pressing matter of the cameras watching our every mood is lessened and I feel more comfortable.

Sliding in, I collide with another body that has already taken the far seat. Both Seohyun and I burst into laughter at the sudden collision, her eyes turning into crescent moons.

“Well hello to you too,” she manages to say between giggles. Himari slides in next to me, shaking her head at the both of us. A couple of cameras in the car automatically focus on us, but I pay them no mind.

“I like your sweatshirt,” I say, gesturing to the homage to her soulmate. Sure enough, Yoongi’s new mixtape “D2” cover is printed on her shirt. Funnily enough, out of all of us, Seohyun is one of the most showy when it comes to her soulmate. Constantly buying merch, listening to his music, and gushing about him.

I know she’ll make Yoongi very happy. If she ever gets to meet him.

If any of us ever get to meet them. Or if they’re ever informed of our existence. Not for the first time today, I curse Bang Si Hyuk again in my mind.

Next

[jj-ktae]

·39·Attendance - Prompt Game -

Title : Attendance Pairing : Lim Jaebeom x Fem!Reader Genre : Fluff Words : 1393 Summary : You just want Jaebeom to take care of himself. Prompt N°39 : “You fool! You’ve walked right into my trap! It’s not even a very good trap!”

Attendance 

Jaebeom doesn’t know what rest is. He spends hours and hours in his studio, composing and writing until he feels satisfied enough to grant himself with a five-minute break that barely calms his stress. He walks around when he needs inspiration, eyes moving frantically in need of something, anything that could tear a word out of his brain.

When it does he runs back into the poorly lit room, his feet hitting the ground at full speed and distracting you from whatever you are doing.

You’ve learnt to deal with this side of your boyfriend.

You don’t mind; Jaebeom has always been the artistic type, the one who says only what is needed but has it all in his head. He finds beauty in what reflects the eyes and expresses it with what the lips can form. It is a process of fabrication that he cherishes and you are willing to follow his lead for the sake of his art.

But sometimes, just sometimes, you wish he would put it aside to enjoy the beauty of a relationship he tends to forget. It is obviously not on purpose for Jaebeom is the same old romantic, his words teasing and pupils shining when you appear before him. He works in cycles where he locks himself for a long period before emerging with or without the hint of a smile to fulfil his boyfriend duties.

You understand, you don’t want him to change who he is.

It has been a whole week, though. A week of whispers and dehydration. Jaebeom barely goes out and he has a whole album to work on but you cannot let him be. He must take care of himself above everything else even if it means fighting with his thick head.

“Jaebeom, you should take a break.” Only your head pops from behind the door. A tired boy is sitting, locks messed up.

“Later.”

It’s always the same answer, that annoying word which means he won’t be going out of this room any time soon.

You sigh, opening the door wider and sensing the change of mood as soon as he slowly pulls his headphones down.

“I’m about to eat, can you please join me?” You try again, a hand now on your hip.

He tilts his head slightly, looking frustrated but also annoyed. “I’ll join you later. I’m almost done.”

You know how it will end, the food will stay on the table until you go to sleep.

“Why can’t you disconnect for like...an hour?” You don’t need him to answer; you want him to realize he has to stop. “You have to take care of yourself!”

Jaebeom sighs, finally putting his pen down and leaning over his hand. “I am taking care of myself. I need concentration, that’s all.”

“And I need you from time to time, that’s all.” You finish, your tone going softer.

Annoyance leaves Jaebeom as soon as you speak. He nods and lets everything as it is on his office, like you spelled a cast on him and he can only do whatever you want.

He will never admit it is actually the case.

“I’m done for tonight.” He concludes. You smile and it feels like jackpot for Jaebeom so he gets up and walks toward you until he is at arm’s reach. His hand falls on your cheek, “Let’s eat. I deserve a break.”

Your body relaxes, his reaction enough to make you feel electricity going through your chest. “I deserve that break, too.” you joke, turning around to go to the kitchen.

Jaebeom feels guilty. He knows he shouldn’t turn into a hermit whenever he has a big project going on but he doesn’t seem to be able to work any other way. He finds the table set and so beautifully decorated it makes his heart ache.

You had prepared all of this and you probably did it in the past too. How many times did he reject your offers, how many times did you do your best and never complained because you take him seriously?

His stomach almost hurts. He hates feeling like the guy who is so selfish he doesn’t even notice everyone else’s effort.

So, before he can form a proper sentence, an apology leaves his mouth.

You arrange the second plate on the table, raising two surprising brows at how down he suddenly looks. Maybe he doesn’t want to take a break but did it to please you?

“I promise it’s only for tonight. I’m the one who is sorry for taking you away from work.” You hate how indecisive your emotions are. Anger is out the window when you notice how disturbed Jaebeom is; he probably is already thinking about what he should be composing, now.

Your boyfriend blinks, feeling even worse for hinting he might not want to be here. “No, no. I actually feel guilty. You’ve been preparing such a pretty dinner and I almost didn’t see it.”

He takes a seat and you follow, your chair now next to his.

“I am totally fine with being here, with you. I hate that you’re doing all this while I can only lock myself up in this room. You had every right to come and request a little bit of my time. You deserve all my time.” he confesses, his usual embarrassment nowhere to be found.

You hum, taken aback by such a confession but also content. “Are you okay? You don’t usually...speak like this.”

Jaebeom looks okay, but deep inside he is not. “I’m just realising things. Just you saying you need me and your face right now makes me realize how much of a crappy boyfriend I am.” He chuckles, eyes avoiding the table because he pictures you being all cute an eager to please him.

For a whole minute, Jaebeom thinks he doesn’t deserve to have you.

And you feel it, the hint of anxiety on his face. It’s like the one expression he wears whenever he is stuck on a project.

You grab his adorably-looking tiny hand and let the chair slide closer to his. “Don’t overthink it. I am in a happy relationship; we live comfortably without conflicts, we’re both busy people and we do love each other. You having to lock yourself into your studio is fine by me, I just want you to take care of yourself. Don’t think about all the times you didn’t come.”

“I just think about you preparing all this,” he looks up, licking his lips unconsciously when your sweet face appears before him. “about how beautiful you are,” he lifts his free arm and wraps it around your shoulder, “and about how my past self must have done a lot of good deeds for me to live this way without getting in trouble.”

He pulls you toward him when you snort and you let his hand go to hug him back. “You’re a perfect boyfriend, Jaebeom. You care about me and I feel it. You have nothing to worry about, I just wish you’d stop disappearing for a whole week.”

You yelp when he grabs you, making you fall on his lap. “I guess I will have to show you how...present, I can be.”

You shake your head, using your best pitiful expression. “I know, a dinner is nothing special...maybe I shouldn’t try so hard and just give you what you need…”

Jaebeom gasps, horrified by your comment and how it implies he left his studio for sex only. You land back on your chair in the blink of an eye before Jaebeom dives into his plate, stuffing his face and complimenting your cooking and you swear he is about to choke.

Your face turns so red from how hard you are trying not to laugh but you still end up giggling, confusing you boyfriend.

“You fool! You’ve walked right into my trap! It’s not even a very good trap!” You grab your own plate and follow, wriggling when Jaebeom tries to tickle you.

“You freaked me out!” He whines, his cheeks so full it is hard to fully understand him. “I was ready to write a whole essay on how way more important than sex you are.”

You feel proud. “I know, but you need to take care of yourself first. Now eat, we’ll check your…. attendance once you’re done.”

Jaebeom eats faster.

[thirsty-x1]

I’m Here For You | X1′s Hyung Line

Request:

might be a weird timing to request this but, i wanna request a angst/fluff for hyung line where they get stress because of situation happening now and you (as their best friend) are here to cheer them up?

↬ Pairing: Hyung Line x One Its.

↬ Genre: Angst, Fluff.

↬ Warnings: mental health stuff?

↬ Word Count: 2.5k

As soon as you saw the message on the group chat, you made a mental note to be there. It was going to be a stressful day for them, you were sure of it, but at the same time you wanted to give them their own space. After all, the discussion was about the group itself and you were just their best friend but not a member. A day had passed since the news came out and it was hard to get into the building without being noticed, but the staff helped you out and finally you were in the dorms, after all they knew that all of them needed support right now.

Your heartbeat was starting to hurt your chest, the anxiety filling you as the managers told you how each of them were dealing with it. It was impossible to not get mixed feelings, something between sadness and anger invading you.

It might have been the first time you felt such coldness in the dorm: all of them were scattered around the building, mostly locked in their rooms. You decided to go to Seungwoo first, knowing he might be beating himself up for the whole situation. And you weren’t wrong: he was on his bed, surrounded by complete darkness except for the few candles that dimly lit the room and the light of his cellphone as he stared into the screen intently. When you got closer he suddenly looked up, giving you a sad smile before scooting a little bit to a side so that you would sit down next to him.

The heavy eye bags under his eyes showed how tired he was, probably lacking sleep, and his bottom lip was hurt from him biting on it while fidgeting with his phone. You looked over his shoulder and saw the comments, all negative ones after another, blaming him. With a slow sigh, you covered the phone screen and put it aside, Seungwoo’s eyes shutting close as he let you, hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face. There wasn’t much to say as you rubbed soft caresses onto his back, feeling the sobs he let out, giving him time until he was ready to speak.

“I didn’t know… I thought… I was so scared… I wanted to escape and so I went out and I just…” Each word was interrupted by his voice breaking. “They are right, I was so selfish… Everyone was feeling the same way yet I turned my back on them and now I can’t even look them in the eye.”

“It’s not your fault.” He sobbed even harder, shaking his head. “It isn’t. You are the leader, yes, but you can’t see the future and there are things that are out of your control. Everyone is hurting and they are trying to point fingers at whatever they can, but you are not to blame.”

“I know but I can’t… I can’t stop feeling like I should have done more, insisted more. I called the agency and told them we all wanted to take part in the meeting but they ended up dismissing us… I should have gone there anyway, the rest all trusted in me and I let them down.” Unlike his usual attitude, the words started spilling one after another, his tears drying as he felt a wave of frustration wash over.

“You did all you could, just like the rest of them. The members don’t blame you, and neither do your true fans, don’t read the comments that are filled with haters and people with too much pain to think objectively.” Your fingers softly typed on the screen, looking for the positive comments. “See? Look how many people love you for who you are and how many of them understand you. Read these ones, gain strength from their love and join your members, don’t isolate yourself just to beat yourself down. You can walk slowly when the pressure is too much to handle.”

His eyes scanned the multiple comments, some making him smile and even let out a small giggle whenever there was a funny video. He was more at ease, you could notice it, but it wasn’t going to be simple to recover from the hit.

“Thank you. I’ll try to… stay stronger.”

“You already are, Seungwoo.” His lips pressed into a thin line, before nodding softly. “I’ll be here if you need me, and the members will too. You are not alone.”

When you were sure he was a little better, you got up, flicking the lights on as a slight remember, and he let out a small thank you. You had to breathe in slowly, calming yourself before heading at the studio. The door was unlocked, as usual, so you got in, a soft, sad beat welcoming you and a Seungyoun with his face covered by the hat he was wearing. He didn’t seem to hear you through the headphones he had on, despite the music playing on the speakers, so you pocked his shoulder and he flinched a bit, looking at you disorientated before calming and giving you a warm smile.

“I was wondering when you were going to come around~” He moved on the chair, spinning a few times. “Therapy friendship?”

You nodded at his silly remark. “So how are you coping?”

“I’m not.” He lowered his gaze a bit, biting the inside of his cheek. “I want to bring them all up but the situation is affecting me a little too much as well, so… it’s hard.”

As you laid back on the desk, he started playing with his cap. “You are listening to the last recordings, right?”

“Mhmm. I worked really hard on new songs… even took into consideration each of their styles, making them my family…” His eyes looked at the screen a bit glossy. “I’m a bit tired of trying. I could just keep producing.” Suddenly he stood up, turning the lights off and sprawling on the couch behind, covering his face again with the hat. “I really am tired.”

“Why did you start with all this?”

He thought about it for a few seconds. “I wanted my music to reach people. To help someone.”

“Have you thought about all the people that it already reached? All of those that you have already helped?” His silence was enough answer, the knot in his throat tightening as he swallowed. “You are growing, Seungyoun.” You sat next to him, playing with his hair. “You are doing a great job, you know? No need to worry… Get some rest, I’ll be here.”

The beat of the song playing matched his breathing, his face still covered, his hands over his chest as you continued caressing him. When you heard him snoring lightly, you tried to hold back a giggle, getting up carefully without waking him up, whispering a soft “good night” as you left the room.

Low murmurs coming from the hallway caught your attention, your feet dragging there as you recognized Wooseok’s slightly deep voice. He was talking with the staff, a frustrated look on his face, his eyes wide opened as he pointed at his phone over and over again.

“I called at least five times and no one picked up, all of the boys wanted to be in the meeting, this isn’t what we wanted and it definitely isn’t what we want now either.” The staff tried to calm him, putting excuses but his frustration was over the roof. Eventually, he walked away, greeting you on his way while signaling you to follow him.

“They didn’t listen to you either?” The response was obvious, but you didn’t know how to start the conversation otherwise. He put his hands on his hips, closing his eyes for a bit and pouting as he furrowed his brows.

“I’m mostly afraid about the younger ones… this being their first experience… it’s simply not fair. And there are comments even criticizing and blaming the members…” It was obvious that there was something else that was worrying him, his eyes wavering and never making eye contact with you despite that being his most definable characteristic.

“What else are you afraid of?” Your question seemed to catch him off guard, his head dropping low.

“I was thinking that…” He bit his lips once. “I don’t want to be alone again. I want to… keep feeling loved, like until now. I don’t want to go back to that dark place.” Wooseok gave you a small smile before shaking his head. “Sorry, I just–”

You held his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “You will get through this, like you always do. You are so much stronger than before, Wooseok, we both know that. And…” Your grip tightened. “I will never let go of your hand, neither will them. I promise, yes? Trust me, trust us.”

If he said anything now, his voice would expose him, so he chose to simply nod, affection clear in his eyes as he pressed back on your hand as a way to confirm the promise. You stayed like that for a few seconds, letting him recharge before his phone started ringing and he apologized whilst taking the call.

Just as you were going to take a break, you heard a few stomps and saw Yohan walking angrily from one side to another, opening all the cupboards while repeating “spicy ramen” a hundredth times under his breath. You walked up to him, squatting and reaching deep behind one of the lower cupboards and getting him what he was looking for.

“How did you..? Did Hangyul hide it there?” You nodded, remembering how the last week Hangyul had tried to hide every single piece of spicy food in order to avoid Yohan making him eat it. “Thank you, I need to calm down and this thing will do for now.”

You sat on the kitchen counter, watching him prepare the ramen. “You are mad?” He nodded, waiting for the water to boil. “Why?”

“The fans.” His patience was running low, staring at the water as if that would help make it faster. “They have all been waiting for us and we can’t return anything to them – why is this taking so long – although we promised.” He tapped his fingers, his skin starting to turn slightly red. “Everything is ruined…”

His shoulders were tense, so you put your hands on them, pressing a bit before pushing him so that he would sit down. At first he was going to complain, but he had no strength, so he simply stared at you continuing to cook the noodles.

“Catch your breath.” His ears perked up at your words. “Don’t try to rush things, it will be worse. Give it some time so that things will settle down, let them come to you.” You poured the hot water on the cup, mixing it until the ramen started to soften. “I will keep being by your side each step you give, so there is no need to run.”

As you placed the cup on the table, he contemplated the steam, thinking about what you just said. “That’s right… I should work hard and get back with them slowly…” He smiled proud of himself as you nodded, eating some of the noodles and burning his tongue. “Ah! I should try to contact them in some kind of way… I’m not fond of people having my number but that might come in handy this time.”

You giggled at the way his eyes shined when unlocking the screen, changing his background picture in his kakao and standing proud, grabbing the cup as he said he was going to practice his handwriting for a moment.

Not even a second later, all the younger members entered the kitchen walking in a line, their expressions a little bit down while Hangyul was at the end, taking in the atmosphere and wondering how he could lighten it up a little. His eyes found comfort in yours, a silent deal made in the exact moment. Both of you distracted the kids, cooking a few things and putting on a movie. You scanned the room, all of them cuddling close to each other, none of them really paying attention at the images on the screen, but somehow they wanted to get their minds off all the news too. Looking at your side, you saw Hangyul with a serious expression, probably thinking about the same thing as you did. He got up, muttering a slight “I’ll be back soon” before walking out, his back slouched and you couldn’t help but to follow him.

He is resting against the wall on the hallway, right beside the living room, looking up and trying to steady his breathing. You stand up next to him, not saying anything until he rests his head on your shoulder.

“You don’t have to keep it to yourself…” Your whisper was barely audible, but he understood.

“I don’t want to worry them.” Hangyul closed his eyes. “Being with them I felt obligated to keep my feelings on check, but they are so sad… I don’t know what to do.”

“Come a little bit closer.” He did, his muscles tensing and then relaxing when your arms surrounded him. You thought he was going to pull away playfully like he tended to, but this time he accepted it. “You don’t need to comfort yourself anymore… You can rely on the others, and on me too.” You pat his back a bit, putting on a dramatic tone. “I’ll be your shoulder to cry on.” His laugh vibrated on the room, and he stood up, smiling sincerely and getting strength.

“I guess I don’t have to carry the burden alone.” A door opened behind you, a messy haired Seungyoun coming in. “Besides, it looks like he’s having a much harder time.”

The rest of the guys appeared too and met up in the living room. You stayed on the door frame, smiling while seeing the eleven boys looking at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before starting to giggle, their concerns washing away at least for a few seconds when the older ones started to act goofy. You were trying your best to burn the image in your memory until they called you, rushing you to take a picture of all of them together.

This warm feeling, the tears and the laughs meeting half way… You don’t want to miss it. It’s painful, yes, but that just proves how real and meaningful it is. You want to tell them more things, but they already know. They know that you will be there for them, and you know they will be there for you too. You trust them, and they trust you.

We’ll be there for you.

Of course I cried with this. Maybe it’s a little bit late but I wanted to tell them those things, both to X1 and to you guys as well.

~Nani

| Masterlist |

[no-no-no-ahhhh]

I'm having bad anxiety so I'm just going to answer these questions rn

Okay so when having anxiety I over think and I barely have any friends so I thought if using these questions to keep my mind off things and it kinda works it's also why some are long because I'm trying my best to think about other things then my stress. Maybe some of yall can try this if you want. Could help idk

Questions belong to @tr33-g1rl

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

I LOVE chocolate bro

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy because let's all be honest bubble gum doesn't even tast good so that just leaves texture and cotton candy dissolves abs you could always have normal gum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Some would say nice hard working smart and dyslexic but that's what they say not actually think

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I've never really had the soda bottles but for now Ig soda cans because I feel like it keeps it fresher then the plastic and plastic is bad

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Umm out of all these ig tomboy my style that I try to go for more rn is kinda like bille eyelash baddie style

7. earbuds or headphones?

Def earbuds cuz headphones if left on too long start hurting and squeezing my head

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows 100% I cant consum media for long (my anxiety)so cartoons are the best for me because they're usually 11 minutes and light hearted

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Hmm this is good question in my head summer looks so good ahh but I've never really had a sent for it cuz the past few years I've been in my room but I love the sun oh and you know when your about to go in the pool and you can smell the Clorox mixed with the sun block and that smell just smells like a soft nice energy and there is this one tropical sent havent really smelt it in years I remember the one time I got to smell it was in middle school in the girls locker room so ig it was a perfume idk if it was really associated with summer or it was just tropical perfume my mom could spray on anytime of the year

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Lol none I hated p.e I was also pretty tall at the time so people expected me to play but I just wanted to hide in the corner

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Well I don't really like breakfast that much I think food in the morning makes me nauseous but I have to eat it cuz I can't eat school lunch food cuz that shit is nasty but breakfast school food is 😉 so I usually get banana bread and good ass duch chocolate milk

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Por Vida is one of my favorite albums if that counts

13. lanyard or key ring?

I hate things being around my neck so key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Mexican candy

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The outsiders

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Your butt relaxing ig and not hunched over idk how some people do their work not hunched over like how do you see what your working on

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

These white Adidas with 3 halo strips and tan boots

18. ideal weather?

To wear you can soak in the sun but not have it burn you right when you go outside and kinda breezy not a fan of the cold and whatever weather that isn't effected by global warming is the best

19. sleeping position?

I always try not to sleep on my back cuz then they say that the demons come for you

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

I have a lot of journals and books to write

21. obsession from childhood?

My little pet shops, barbies, fnaf, teen titans, monster high dolls, beanie babes, never brats or the ever after high dolls cuz I had a fear of big heads as a kid

22. role model?

Em their are not many people to look up to these days but Quenlin Blackwell is even though she struggles with depression and seasonal depression she still is a qween love her

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

Hmm maybe amethyst one of the only ones I have

25. first song you remember hearing?

No idea

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Be in the sun

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Not have the seasonal depression come for me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade bro tea is kinda weak and for BrItish blocks , but today I did have a bunch of lemons and they got me sick cuz I dont have a healthy balanced diet if anybody knows simple healthy recipes that have little to no cooking pls share

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

I've never actually have had lemon pie but I have been thinking about making pie. I've had peacon pie and water burger apple pie and McDonald's apple pie and I think another fast food pie but I can't remember the flavor. I know the other flavor exist because my mom order a different pie flavor from me once and she said we can both try each others. Maybe it was lemon. I think lemon tast is quit forgettable thow idk I always put other things on my lemon and lemonade has all that sugar and speaking of Britain I think they carbonate their lemons . But I think I've only had lemon cake 2 times , so if the cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

School is lame and that's on period pooh

41. last person you texted?

Umm this girl I barely know and I'm going to leave it at that cuz this story makes me kinda sad and worried and I'm answering these questions to avoid that

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Hmm good question , I think jacket because they are bigger and girl Jean's have the pockets different to make the booty look better and sometimes that leads to uncomfortable pockets and front pockets barely exit for girls and jackets sometimes have those secret pockets only you have assess too like the ones on the inside and jacket pockets are bigger

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

1. hoodies are good for when you dont have a bra on and they come with one BIG pocket and you dont need to worry about a shirt

2. Leather jackets are for cool kidz and carry a nice vibe and still thick enough to keep you warm , but you can't really get them wet I think so you can't wash em , but they can come with cool designs on the back but their better fitted on perfectly on a person and if you grow they just look odd on you then you have to buy another and that's not fun

3.Bomber jacket , it's a whole style but one I try to pull of but just cant do it well

4.Cardigans kinda umm not a fan but good if your wearing a dress that's shows your shoulders and you are insecure about that being shown. Remember when somewhere in the 2000s they told us that cardigans where so easy to put on and throw more into your outfit so people bought quit a few. I do

5.I feel like jeans jackets aren't warm enough maybe their more for the summer?

44. favorite scent for soap?

Hmm maybe something tropical or just those cool lavender ones that have oats that's cool I like oats in my soap

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

I hate sci-fi uhhhg and super hero kinda ties in with that so fantasy and when reading fan fic just sweet simple domestic fluff

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Hmm not sure but the shirt has to be soft. I only experience soft shirts like that few times in my life

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mexican cheese and blue cheese uhg and mozzarella with that crust, yum🤤

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Errrum maybe a watermelon cuz they are very hydrated. Oh and watermelon with the big black seeds is better then that soul less watermelon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

None dawg I really need to find one but I do have a lot written down In a book

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Omg my aunt had some funny looking ass dogs I couldn't stop laughing. One of her dogs hate me tho now

51. current stresses? I dont want to talk about it cuz I dont want to worry but I was crying for more then 6 hours probably 8 when I think about it and then today as well and it's so bad I'm not even going to school

52. favorite font? I like the one kali uchis uses in one of her albums I think it's called fairy tell or something

53. what is the current state of your hands?pretty dry cuz I wash them alot and kinda long nails cuz of genetics

54. what did you learn from your first job?

I havent had a first job

55. favorite fairy tale?

Hmmm something with the tooth fairy

56. favorite tradition?

Idk holidays cuz I get school off

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Depression and I would say anxiety but no

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I dont have any talents

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Uuuuyg idk too stressed to really think that I dont even know what type of video game I would be in

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

nothing stressful maybe something calm like a farm anime, some light magic, pokemon things like that

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

I was never ment to live life like a sim - megan the stallion

62. seven characters you relate to?

Anybody with anxiety, kinda pearl from Steven universe, the nerdy part of dipper from gravity falls , Roman from sander sides if virgil too sense he has anxiety okay and that's all I can think of I think early I said I dont really watch media or stuff so yeah

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Gosolina kali uchis songs and bank account that's all I can think about rn

64. favorite website from your childhood?64. favorite website from your childhood?

Y8 brooo oh and there was Disney or Nickelodeon websites you know that show with the hands and they had the googly eyes they had a g as new for that loved it and for Disney they had zack and cody games on their website and it's not a website but the one thing on windows that would work without wifi you know and you could make cakes and give them faces and try matching the cards

65. any permanent scars?

One time a cat scratched me more the like 8 years ago and I can still faintly see the mark

66. favorite flower(s)?

The one that grows on the cactus

67. good luck charms?

I know a rabbits foot is one and 4 leaf clovers,and markipliers flannel. I sadly dont have any personal good luck charms

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I don't want to talk about bad foods rn cut the cameras

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

idk I think I can vaguely remember every facts orgin that I know

70. left or right handed?

Basic right handed but my dad used to be left but then the school forced him to be right

71. least favorite pattern?

Anything 80s uhg that shit is disgusting and terrifying

72. worst subject?

Chemistry but I just got out of that so that's fun

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

People day hot cheetos and sour cream is odd but I like it . I would wat some rn but I think I got sick cuz of my poor diet so I'm not. Someone pls suggested simple easy foods for your girl who can cook

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

1 I am big baby

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I dont know

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Tater tots are good and fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Idk no green thumb

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Idk ig coffee

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Theirs a difference?

82. pc or console?

Console it's just simpler

83. writing or drawing?

Uhhheg ig drawing I'm bad at grammar

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcast, podcast are just more plans out then talk radio and talk radio is a morning thing and I'm not the biggest fan of mornings

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales mythology kinda ruff ya know

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies their just more sturdy and their is always normal cake

87. your greatest fear?

Tooo many things and I'm having an anxiety attack right now so like no

88. your greatest wish?

Well it's cute and all idk to live peacefully is one part the other parts a secret for now

X.o.x.o gossip girl ya know ya love me

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Umm maybe myself Idk

90. luckiest mistake?

One time my mom ordered a foam sord for my brother and a real one came. It was some anime sword

91. boxes or bags?

Bags cuz they look cute and you can take em every where with you. Disposable I would have to say boxes tho because its less damaging to the environment

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight is so warm and it fills something inside of me makes me feel cozy

Lamps are great for when sleeping and your scared of the dark

Fairy lights are cute but are they neccessary

Overhead lights are good for when you just need light in your life

Am I the only one who gets sad and sometimes cant clean if it's dark in the house?

94. favorite season?

Summer I think. I know it's harder for me to function in the winter cuz depression but then summer is anxiety sometimes ya know

95. favorite app on your phone?

Littetly no idea I don't really love/like the things on my phone if their more distractions or time wasters but I do love how I can search up useful things on YouTube to try to calm down my anxiety and I was definitely not a fan of tumblr at all but I kind have made it my safe place a bit

96. desktop background?

Well the computers my dad's so it has deadpool on i

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Barely 2 ,I am kinda a dummy sorry unggv

98. favorite historical era?

Well idk heehaww cowboys?

[doodlebugsandbumblebees]

You are straight-up a very sweet Hufflepuff whom I would be delighted to know any and everything about, so is it alright if I go ahead and ask EVERY question for the question meme?

Awww, wow!!  That really means a lot, thank you so much!

Alright here we go then!  We’re going to get to know me a whole lot better lol because these questions are pretty fun.  Obviously this will be a pretty long post so I’m putting it all under the read more

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs I think.  I have a pretty big collection of those.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

This one is hard!  Probably chocolate bars though.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy 100%.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Hmmmm, I think hardworking and sweet came up a lot?  I was very much a teacher’s pet and the perfectionist anxiety set in early lol so I was a busy, over-achieving bee.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I prefer soda bottles.  Glass bottles especially.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

It really depends?  But I guess I’m more tomboy style than anything else.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds because I like to have one in and one out so I can still hear what’s going around me.

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows because I like having more time to get to know the characters (and domestic/casual situations for overpowered or zany characters are way more likely to happen in a show than a movie and I live for those lol).

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Rain on pavement because it just storms and storms in the summer and it’s so nice.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Hmmm I was good at anything that involved running?  And games that involved those wheely board things you sat on and scooted around on were always fun.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

It varies?  Bagels or toast most often I guess.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Sick beats.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring with a little stuffed animal on it.  Right now mine has a bee on it and I love it.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Jolly ranchers.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Tuesdays with Morrie was pretty good.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Criss-cross.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My plain white sneakers.  They’re not real pretty or anything but they’re very comfy and I don’t have to think about whether they match things.

18. ideal weather?

Partially cloudy all day, storm in the afternoon, cool in the evening.

19. sleeping position?

Always on one of my sides.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Notes on my phone or on my laptop with my typewriter keyboard.

21. obsession from childhood?

The Lion King and anything related to it.

22. role model?

Jane Goodall has been at least one of my role models since I was ten, but my mom is a big one too.

23. strange habits?

I’m still getting over periodically chewing my fingers?  Does that count?  I also have a quirk when it comes to touching certain metal things but especially coins so when someone hands me change I do everything I can to avoid touching it and hold it in the bills if I can.

24. favorite crystal?

Kinds of crystals I presume?  I’ve always liked rose quartzes and amethysts (especially amethyst geodes since I have a couple of those).

25. first song you remember hearing?

Probably something from Tarzan or Mary Poppins since those were my childhood movies.  So Stepping Time from Mary Poppins would be a good guess.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swimming.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Walking around in it because it’s hardly ever truly cold here and I like to savor it.

28. five songs to describe you?

I change music taste every five minutes so I’m going to say songs that describe me right now are brand new by ben rector, just a quail by louie zong, turning out by ajr, everything stays by olivia olson, and hooked on a feeling by blue swede.

29. best way to bond with you?

It’s all in the time.  I get attached to people pretty easy as long as they’re nice and we can goof around, have fun, and talk about whatever.  So putting time in to hang out means a lot to me.

30. places that you find sacred?

Hmmm, being deep in forests feels sacred to me so there are certain waterfall hikes in the smokey mountains and along the blue ridge parkway and in Hawaii that seem very special to me.  And then disney world and disneyland will always have a sacredness to them for me because they’ve meant so much to me and the happiness it brings people is pretty magical.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

My comfy jean shorts and either my yellowish flannel or my guardians of the galaxy shirt with my rebel jacket. 

32. top five favorite vines?

Caterpillar Rave

I Smell Like Beef

I Could’ve Dropped My Croissant

Michael with a B

This Is The Comedy Police

Honorable Mention: FR E S H A VOCA DO

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Probably “okay cool” because I say that a lot.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

We are farmers, bum bud um bum bum bum bum.

35. average time you fall asleep?

1 AM.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Oh gosh the first one… probably one of those vines up there.  It might have been fre shavocado.  This was a long time ago though.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea because I can’t drink citrus without it setting my mouth on fire lol.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake but I don’t have it often for the reason listed above.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Some kids in elementary did something weird in the trees behind our school because the teachers weren’t watching them (I never knew exactly what it was but it was Bad tm) but the teachers didn’t know exactly who it was so they punished the whole grade and we were forced to only play kickball during recess for like 7 months and it was the worst.  It’s not exactly weird per say but I always found it wild that the only conceivable thing they could think to do to solve this problem was force a bunch of scrawny, socially awkward, miserable children to play ground baseball with a permanently half-deflated rubber ball.

41. last person you texted?

My brother.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Pants pockets but only because I don’t get to use jacket pockets as often as I would like to.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

I’m completely tied between hoodies and bomber jackets.

44. favorite scent for soap?

Ocean.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

These are my three faves, not fair!!  Sigh, probably superhero because even with sci-fi and fantasy my faves tend to be my faves because they have superhero elements.  The colors, the Drama, the angst, the powers??  What’s not to love.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Baggy t-shirt and athletic shorts.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Smoked gouda.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Watermelon.

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“Keep moving forward.” from Meet the Robinsons most, but I also like “The bottom line is if you take a chance in life sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen but, honey, if you don’t take a chance nothing happens.” from Dorothy in Golden Girls.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I don’t know about the hardest I ever have (because I am very lucky and have a very funny family so I laugh a lot) but watching vine compilations for the very first time with my siblings made me laugh really hard.

51. current stresses?

Fitting everything in.  Days just don’t feel long enough and social situations plus school stuff always get to me but I’m doing okay.

52. favorite font?

I do like times new roman even if it’s used a lot but I’ve been using the font yananeska for calligraphy stuff lately and it’s a cool one.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

They’re always a bit dry and on the warmish side but they’re pretty good.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Have never had a job job but I volunteered in a library for like three years and it taught me to enjoy the details, slow down and enjoy the quiet, simple tasks, appreciate really excited kids, and try to help people whenever I can.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Aladdin or beauty and the beast I suppose?  I like that there’s multiple ways to interpret those stories and that they can be played with in some fun ways because they’re such interesting concepts by themselves.

56. favorite tradition?

How cities all over the world string up lights on things in the winter.  It means something different to everyone and some do it and some don’t which is totally fine, but this idea of lighting up the world during the bleakest month, and how some people go all out with colors and patterns and synced to music, and how everyone does it a bit different, and how entire cities are just smothered in lights means a lot to me.  I think it’s a very cool and very human thing to do.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The tough year before my family moved, getting through my really intense anxiety years where I couldn’t travel in cars for more than fifteen minutes without throwing up, and my month away at art school.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Hmmm, I guess I’m pretty proud of my writing ability, my singing voice, my art skills, and my ability to talk to anyone.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably something goofy like “YEET” or some variation of “That’s bonkers” because I do say those a lot.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Superhero.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“That’s all it is, a leap of faith.” from Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse is still pretty special to me.  As is “I never thought I could do any of this stuff, but I can.” same movie.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Aaaaaaaa another hard one.  Whoo boy, right now my gut instinct is probably: Judy Hopps (Zootopia), Miles Morales (Into the Spiderverse), Raph (Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), Spiderham (Into the Spiderverse), Hagrid (Harry Potter), the firbolg (the adventure zone), and Sam-I-Am (Green Eggs and Ham).

63. five songs that would play in your club?

At the moment I would want you make my dreams by hall & oates, cantina band by John Williams, the bones by maren morris and hozier, hooked on a feeling by blue swede, and backflip by rivers cuomo to play.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Coolmathgames.

65. any permanent scars?

I have a round scar on my elbow from when I skidded across the ground after crashing my bicycle.

66. favorite flower(s)?

I like lotus flowers, gardenias, and plumerias.

67. good luck charms?

My DnD dice, rocks (like my obsidian, sodalites, and amethysts), and my ten little lucky owl statues in different colors.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Beverly soda is the worst but a specific flavor I really don’t like is pickles.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Mantis shrimps punch so fast that the water around their punch boils.  Also they have seventeen color receptors compared to our 3.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

I’m not quite sure?  I’m not crazy about optical illusions that look sort of smeared and are all black and white because they hurt my eyes so probably those.

72. worst subject?

I’m not great with math or sports, but I’ve gotten a handle on math as of late.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

I’m not sure if they’re weird but I’m willing to try a lot so ketchup and mayonnaise is great, barbecue sauce and cheez-its is very good, and apples dipped in nacho cheese or salsa is not bad.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I think 4.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I think I was five?  Not sure.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Baked potatoes but fries are very close.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

I don’t eat sushi so coffee from a gas station.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

School id photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Lightning bugs.

82. pc or console?

Console.

83. writing or drawing?

Probably writing because it’s more straightforward to me but it depends.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology because it gets wild so fast and cracks me up sometimes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes.

87. your greatest fear?

Being annoying or mean without realizing it and driving people away.  I’m constantly scared I’m going to mess everything up which I need to work on because it’s hard to live that way.

88. your greatest wish?

Going to get a bit cheesy but to someday be a zoologist with some fun hobbies, travel often, feel satisfied with my life, and spend my days with someone I truly love and have a lot of fun with.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Anyone in my family because we’re really close and they would do that for me.

90. luckiest mistake?

Probably going to an up-ity art school for a month a few years ago because while I was extremely depressed, homesick, and felt like a big failure the whole time, if I hadn’t done that and had my dreams crushed by some mean professors I might have gone there for a whole semester and spent a bajillion dollars to learn the same thing.  And it inevitably put me at the school I’m at now which I’m very very happy with and suits me so much better.

91. boxes or bags?

I like boxes.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Fairy lights because I’m a sucker for colors.

93. nicknames?

Doodlebug is the biggest one.

94. favorite season?

Fall.  Colors, halloween, thanksgiving, cooler weather, I love it ALL.

95. favorite app on your phone?

Spotify.

96. desktop background?

A painting of a whale shark from the Georgia aquarium because going there was a big deal for me and it’s very pretty.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Maybe 3?  I don’t have to memorize them much anymore lol.

98. favorite historical era?

I kind of like the 1920s aesthetic these days but I love very scattered things about history so picking one era is tough.

[ma-sulevin]

Tease

I’m not sure I’m going to get a smut prompt filled today (I’ll try to do a short one!), because instead, I wrote this after work. I... don’t know what genre it is, because there’s a little of everything in here (except full-on smut, although it does give me an idea). Whatever.

Rating: M. 1158 words. Kaidan Alenko x Hazel Shepard, ME3.

Hazel comes back to consciousness slowly for once, leaving her dream naturally instead of being forced from a nightmare. She blinks her eyes open and then closes them again without moving another muscle. She’s in her cabin, in her own bed, and Kaidan is with her. He’s sitting up at her side, one hand combing slowly through her hair. His other hand is holding a datapad up to his face, and he’s watching something on it with the sound muted. The movement of his fingers through her hair is a steady rhythm, and she doesn’t want to risk disturbing that by letting him know she’s woken up.

She sits and enjoys the warmth of his body next to hers and is almost asleep again for a second unscheduled nap when his body suddenly flinches and his hand stops its soothing movement.

He resumes again, but the spell is broken. Hazel opens her eyes again and peers up at him, turning her head just enough for him to notice she’s joined him.

“Hey,” he says, immediately shutting the datapad off. He puts it on the bed next to him, on his other side where she can’t see it, and brushes a strand of hair away from her forehead. “I was wondering when you’d wake up.”

She pushes herself up to a sitting position and leans forward to kiss him. While his eyes are closed and she’s leaning forward, she grabs the datapad from his other side and turns it back on.

It takes her a few seconds of video to realize what she’s watching. She has to push past the dizzying sense of deja vu to realize… yes, she has seen this exact thing before. It’s the feed from her visor from the Collector ship. She can see Harbinger taking control of one of the Collectors, and she can see her own hand throwing a biotic shockwave at a group of husks running at her from its other side.

“What the hell?” She pauses the video feed and looks up at Kaidan, who’s pulled a single wireless headphone from his ear. “What is this?”

Kaidan already looks apologetic. “EDI offered to let me watch some of your old missions,” he explains. He lifts one hand like he’s going to cup her face, but he pulls back before he can make contact. “She said, uh, that since I’ve been on the Normandy again, you’ve shown a, uh, ‘24% reduction in risk-seeking behavior’.”

Hazel just stares at him. “Why were you talking to EDI about my ‘risk-seeking behavior’?” She holds up one finger. “My alleged risk-seeking behavior.”

“She mentioned it when you took us out together. I won’t watch any more of them if it bothers you. I’m sorry -- I should have asked first.” His eyebrows draw together as he apologizes, real regret shining out of his eyes.

She sighs and looks down at the datapad in her hand. “No, it’s fine. Seems like you’d get enough of that out there though.” She hands the pad back to him, and he puts it on the little table next to him. The second it’s away, he grabs her arms and pulls her into his lap. She moves easily, settling her legs on either side of his hips, and rests her head against his chest. He wraps both arms around her and squeezes as she sighs.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Shepard,” Kaidan says, breaking the silence. Hazel mutters an oh, good under her breath as he continues: “You did seem a little more… wild in the vids EDI sent me.”

She snuggles closer, nuzzling into his neck. His hand trails slowly up and down her spine as she considers her answer. “I wasn’t intentionally being reckless,” she says, finally. “I was just, I don’t know, angry I guess. Punched my way through more than a few husks.”

Kaidan’s hand freezes on its path but quickly resumes movement again. He sighs, and she can feel his chest expanding before the puff of air on her neck. “Well…” he says, voice low, and for a horrible second Hazel’s certain he wants to talk about the reason she was so angry back then. “I’m glad I can help.”

She relaxes against him. “Yeah,” she says, simply. “You do. And I don’t really care if you watch the old vids -- seems like it would be stressful, but I don’t care. It just isn’t what I was expecting when I grabbed the pad.”

“What were you expecting?”

She shrugs and answers honestly. “I don’t know? Porn?”

Kaidan starts to laugh, a low rumbling chuckle that makes Hazel smile. He puts his hand on the back of her head to hold her against him as he tries to stop laughing at her suggestion. When he finally relaxes, she sits up and starts playing with the buttons of his shirt.

“You tryna tell me you don’t watch porn, Kaidan?” Hazel gives Kaidan her most serious don’t-lie-to-me-I’m-your-Commander looks, but he’s unfazed.

He stares right back at her, cheeks a little flushed but still smiling, and says, “I never said that, Shepard.” She lifts her eyebrows at him, waiting for the rest of his explanation. “I also wouldn’t say that the best time for that sort of, ah, viewing material is when my girlfriend is taking a well-deserved nap right next to me.”

“Well, the next time it is a good time, let me know,” she says, leaning forward so that her lips are almost touching his, “and maybe I’ll join you.”

Kaidan groans and grabs her hips just as she finally closes the distance between them. Their lips meet in a bruising kiss. She tugs open the buttons of his shirt to smooth her hands over his warm skin, across his strong chest and then around to his back, molding their bodies together. His grip tightens on her hips, pulling her as close as possible as he slides his tongue along hers.

When he stops to take a breath, she deftly slides out of his arms and off of the bed entirely, walking up to her desk before he realizes what she’s doing. When he sees her putting on her boots, he stands up too.

“Come back, Shepard,” he says, voice gravelly and pitched just right to make her shiver.

She does shiver, but she continues lacing her boots anyway. “I didn’t actually mean to fall asleep,” she says, and gestures to the rumpled BDUs she’s still wearing. “I still have work to do.” He tries to grab her, but she avoids his hands and winks at him from the door. “I’ll be back soon, okay? Remember this for later.”

She glances back at him when she steps into the elevator, and catches a glimpse of him leaning against the door to her room. His arms are crossed, his shirt open, eyes dark and a smirk on his lips. She doesn’t look away until the elevator doors close between them.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Into the Woods

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 6246

Summary: Simon is so done with his roommate's shit. Little does he know he's about to find out why Baz is being weird. Based on "Baz is a secret theatre nerd with glasses and a man bun” request.

Read on AO3

AN: I'm alive! And exhausted because work is a nightmare. Seriously, having a full time job sucks ass. But, WAYWARD SON!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! Excited and scared, but mostly excited. 2020 can't come soon enough holy shit. Anywho, hope you enjoy this little romp :D

——————————————-

Simon

“What the fuck happened to you?”

I glare at Penny as best as I can with my tired eyes. “What the fuck do you think?”

“He was pacing in your bathroom?”

I sink into the uncomfortable lecture hall bench with a sigh. “Yes, came back late then kept me up until midnight, muttering and humming to himself, again. What the fuck is he doing that requires so much talking and movement. And why does it have to be in the fucking bathroom?!”

Penny shrugs, something usually only I do. “I don’t know, Si.”

“I bet he’s summoning the Devil.”

“Simon, for the last time, he’s an arsehole, not an evil wizard.”

“You don’t have to live with him.”

Penelope sighs and keeps typing on her laptop. I assume my occasional lecture position of arms on desk and head pillowed on arms. One advantage of uni is that professors don’t give a single shit if you sleep through their classes. I know I’m probably wasting my education, but I need sleep. Because of fucking Baz.

“Good morning, Snow.” Ugh, I hate his smooth, perfect voice. I grunt in reply. “Still not a fan of speaking, hm?”

“Fuck off, Baz,” I grumble, “it’s your fault I’m like this.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, completely calm as usual.

I growl, because I hate words enough when I’m awake. And I refuse to use them with him.

He doesn’t answer, the bastard, just walks off. I watch from just over my arm as he sits a few rows in front. He’s easy to spot, what with the tight green t-shirt and stupid man bun. Well, it’s not totally stupid on him. Somehow everything looks good on him. He could wear a garbage bag and still look great. Stupid good looking arsehole.

I doze on and off through the whole psych lecture. It’s not that interesting anyway. And when I wake up, Baz is right in my line of vision, and I keep looking at him. How he re-adjusts his hair every once in awhile. How he spins a pencil between his long fingers. How he lifts his glasses up and down as he looks at the screen then takes notes. Why does he have to be such a good upstanding student and make the rest of us look bad? It’s so bloody infuriating.

I breathe a sigh of relief when the lecture is over. I’m done classes, but Baz has another lecture. I can go back to my room and get a good rest.

“Hey, Si,” Penelope says as I’m gathering my things. “Still wanna study for that English exam together?”

Shit, I promised her we’d study yesterday. Guess my nap will have to wait. “Yeah sure, Pen. Not sure how much help I’ll be. I’m not exactly good at English.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll whip you into shape.” She grabs my arm, and I willingly go.

“Yeah, sure, that’s possible,” I chuckle. We head out the door, but I sneak a look behind me. Baz is talking to a group of people. Huh, that’s weird. Baz and I have been roommates for over a year, and I’ve only ever seen him hang with the same two guys, a freckled redhead and his cousin (I think.) Those two are both standing there now, but for some reason there are a bunch of other people standing around too. Who have big smiles and even bigger gestures. Does Baz have friends now? Huh, he has been out more often. Guess they don’t mind that he’s an annoyingly smart arsehole, or that he looks better than all of them.

“C’mon, Si!”

Penny tugs harder, and I rip my gaze away from Baz. I’ll think about him later.

———————————————-

The only good thing about the student centre is that the chairs are comfy. I’m pretty sure the university invested all their furniture budget into cushy armchairs. I’m certainly not complaining. Especially today, when I could sink into the comfy leather forever.

“And what were the main themes of Fahrenheit 451?” Penny asks.

“Uhhh...” I don’t open my eyes. They feel too heavy. “Books are better than people?”

“I would personally yes, but our prof would disagree. Try again.”

“Blargh.”

“Blargh?” she chuckles. “Simon, are you making up words again?”

“Yes,” I grunt, “because I’m frustrated and tired and probably going to fail all my exams.”

Penny sighs, long and heavy. “You’re not going to fail.”

“You say that because you’re trying to make me feel better because you love me,” I spit out before thinking. I’m tired and have less of a filter than usual.

She scoffs, but in an endearing way. I’m not sure how she does that. “Yes, I love you, Simon, which means I’d never lie to you. You. Are. Not. Going. To. Fail.”

I sigh, because I know she’s right. Penny actually, really believes in me. I’m glad to have her in my life. “Thanks, Pen.”

“You’re welcome. Now, just tell me one theme, please?”

I tilt my head back over the chair, closing my eyes as I try to remember what our monotone prof said. “Uh, censorship?”

“Yes! See? I told you you’d get it.”

“Thank you, Penny,” I murmur, then curl into the armchair. “Now I’m going to sleep for a thousand years.”

Penny sighs exasperatedly, but it’s still loving. “Very well. Want a mint aero bar from the vending machine?”

“Mm, yes please.” I rummage around for my wallet in my back pocket, and pull out (what I hope is) a five pound note. Penny snatches it. I hope she gives me the change.

As I’m sinking into the comfy chair, finally relaxing after hours of discomfort, something gets dropped on my head. I frown and pick up the chocolate bar. I hear Penny sit in the opposite chair.

“Hey,” she says through a mouthful of candy, “look at this.”

“Don’t wanna,” I grumble.

“Simon, open your bloody eyes.”

“Ugh, fine.” I blink my eyes open. Penny is holding a big poster. It’s covered in trees and says "Into the Woods" in fancy letters. Then it lists the school theatre and dates next week. Wait... “Pen, did you steal that off the student events board?!”

“Not important. But look! This is an awesome musical, and the drama club is doing it soon. Maybe we could go see it.”

I twist my lips together. “Hm, I don’t know...”

“C’mon, Si, we’ve both been stressed out. We need to do something fun.”

“And musical theatre performed by probably off key uni students is fun?”

She gives me a deadpan look. “Do we have enough money to do anything better?”

I let out a long sigh. “No, we don’t.”

“Exactly. Now, wanna go see some shitty musical theatre?”

I twist my lips again, fiddling with my chocolate wrapper. “I’ll think about it, Pen. I need to study more if I’m going to pass psych.”

Penelope nods in acknowledgement. “Okay, I get it. The show is next week so we’ve still got time. Now,” she flips her binder open again, “tell me the role of Clarisse in regards to Guy’s character development.”

“Ugh,” I groan, “gimme a minute.”

I put Into the Woods in the back of my mind, and once again try to remember what the fuck our professor said. It’s an annoyingly difficult task.

———————————————-

When I get back to my dorm, Baz isn’t there, again. Man, he’s really been out a lot lately. More than before.

Last year, when he wasn’t in class, he was always in the room. Either reading on his bed or working at his desk. I tried to avoid him as much as possible, because everytime I disturbed him he would glare or make some passive aggressive sarcastic comment. It became clear he didn’t like my presence. So I learned to stay out of his way, but I guess that hasn’t really been a problem lately. And...it’s weird. It’s weird him not being here.

I take a long shower, revelling in the fact that Baz won’t bang on the door and demand I not use all the hot water. After, I curl up in bed, Netflix blaring in my headphones. It’s what I need to wind down after studying. Eventually, I let myself drift off to the sounds of Brooklyn 99.

But I’m woken up again when the door swings open. I grunt but don’t open my eyes. I just listen as Baz softly shuts it, pads around the room, then enters the bathroom. Ugh, fucking hell. He’s pacing and muttering and humming again, and even though he’s quiet, it’s annoying as fuck. I turn up my volume but it’s no use. Just knowing he’s there keeps me up. His presence just overwhelms my brain all the time.

When his footsteps get louder, I know he’s back in the main room. I pull off my headphones and glare at his back.

“Can you not?” I growl.

Baz freezes, head snapping up and shoulders tensing. Guess he thought I was asleep. “Can you be more specific?”

“It’s fucking great that you’re out having fun with your friends, but your late night entrances and obsessive pacing is keeping me up. Some of us aren’t vampires and can’t stay up all night.”

“Sorry my schedule is inconvenient for you, Snow.” His voice is so neutral I can’t tell if he’s mocking me or not.

"Oh fuck off, you prick."

"Incredibly creative insults there."

Ugh, he's so quick tongued. I can't fight him usually, and certainly not when I'm so tired. I opt for grunting and rolling over. Baz quickly goes back into the bathroom to change. (Prudish prick won’t change in front of me.) God, I’m so exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. Maybe I do need a break. Something fun...

I grab my phone from where it’s sitting on the floor and send a quick text.

Simon: heyyyy y’know i think i’m down for the musical i do need a break

Penny’s reply is instantaneous. (She was probably browsing Tumblr late at night again.)

Penny: Awesome! I’ll get us tickets for the last show on Friday.

Simon: sweet :) gonna go to bed night pen

Penny: Night, Si.

I power down the phone and restart Netflix again. Baz is already in bed, his black hair fanned out against the white pillowcase. Yeah, I need a distraction. Anything to keep me from thinking about school and exhaustion. As well as the stupid, annoyingly pretty guy sleeping no more than three metres away from me.

———————————————-

“What took you so long?!”

I ran up to Penny panting, completely doubled over. Christ, my lungs are fucking burning. “Sorry...couldn’t find...phone...bus...was late...so so sorry.”

“It’s fine, Si, let’s just get in there. Curtain is in three minutes.”

She takes my sleeve and drags me inside. She’s stomping, so I know she’s really pissed. I move to hold her hand tightly, squeezing it. “I’m really sorry, Pen.”

Penny keeps stomping, but sighs and squeezes back. “I know. Let’s just get in there.”

I let out a small sigh, because I know we’re still okay.

We rush into the theatre, jittering at the ticket booth and snatching up programs as we run past the poor student volunteer. Penny quickly finds us two seats in a not that shitty place. Surprisingly, the theatre is quite packed. Huh. I wouldn’t expect this many people for a student production.

“We made it,” Penny sighs.

“Yeah,” I reply. “So much for stress free evening.”

She chuckles, almost sardonically. “Yeah, unfortunately agreed. Now shush, curtain’s coming up.”

The whole theatre gets dark, and orchestra music swells. I lean back in my chair. The curtain rises to reveal (what I think at least) is a minimal set with people on it. A few tree silhouettes in the back, a raised platform, a fake fireplace, fake counter, and a fake cow next to a stool. Everything is just so fake. Penny said I had to “suspend my disbelief”. It’s hard to pretend with such little there. This is why I like TV and movies.

All the people on stage are wearing sort of fairy tale clothes. They start singing about what they wish for. To go to a party, for a cow to have milk, and to have a baby. Christ, is this whole thing just about people wanting things? Musicals are fucking weird.

I sort of half zone out, picking up on bits and pieces of the show and dozing off. Baz has been coming back later and later all week and waking me up each time he opens the door. The theatre is dark, so it’s hard to stay awake. I fall asleep at the scene with Rapunzel and the witch, but start to stir again when Jack’s mom throws the magic beans on the ground (ha, idiot.) But since this play jumps around more than a rabbit on a sugar rush, suddenly the Baker’s Wife is walking around in the woods with the cow as Cinderella runs past. She’s running from the ball again and hides behind the Wife. A trumpet goes off as someone gallops ridiculously on stage-

Wait, is that...

“Baz!?”

Three people shush me, but I ignore them, because Baz fucking Pitch is on stage right now, hamming it up with everyone else. He’s wearing a silly outfit that reminds me of a Disney prince, with a white jacket and a red sashs and gloves. His hair is slicked back with gel, emphasizing his stark widow’s peak more than usual. He’s not wearing his glasses either. Huh. I’ve never seen him without them. He looks...good. Well, he looks good with them too, but this is just a different sort of good.

I don’t pay attention to the scene, not even listening to what they’re saying. I’m just focusing on Baz and his amazingly ridiculous appearance. Oh my god he looks so stupid, trotting his feet and flicking his hands like he’s holding reins. When he’s offstage I lean over to Penny, who’s jaw is also on the ground.

“What the hell is Baz doing here?!” I whisper.

“I...have no idea,” she replies very hushed. It’s the first time I’ve heard her admit she doesn’t know something.

The play continues, but I’m paying attention even less. I just keep waiting for Baz to show up again. I’m so jittery. My leg is shaking at lightspeed. Penny kicks my foot in an attempt to stop me but it doesn’t help. The only thing that makes it stop is seeing Baz gallop ridiculously on stage, along with Rapunzel’s Prince.

“Ah, there you are, good brother. Father and I had wondered where you had gone,” he says to Baz.

“I have been looking all night for her,” Baz replies. His voice is like it always is, smooth and commanding. Like he was born to tell people what to do. Usually I find it annoying, but right now it works. He is supposed to be a prince.

The two princes commiserate over their mutual impossible loves. They're both idiots.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel! What kind of name is that? You jest! I have never heard of such a thing,” Baz laughs out.

Rapunzel’s Prince snorts. “I speak the truth. She is as true as your maiden. A maiden running from a prince? None would run from us.”

“Yet,” Baz sighs, “she has.”

Then he starts singing, and my brain short circuits.

Holy shit. Baz is singing. And he’s singing well. His voice is a solid, smooth baritone. It reverberates through the theatre perfectly. I’m totally transfixed. Since when could Baz sing so incredibly?!

“Agony!”  He belts. “Beyond power of speech. When the one thing you want, is the only thing out of your reach.”

Holy. Shit.

I don’t realise how much I’m gaping until Penny pushes up my hanging lower jaw back up. The whole song is quite ridiculous, and Baz sings it perfectly. He looks properly agonized through it. I didn’t know he could be so expressive. He’s, just, amazing.

The songs ends, and Baz exits. I don’t pay attention, what with my mind still spinning. So, Baz, my arsehole geeky roommate, can act, and sing, and looks weirdly amazing in a stupid prince costume. Okay, that’s a lot of new info to process.

Before I know it, the lights come back on, and Penny is tugging on my sleeve.

“Simon?”

I look up at her bewildered. “What?”

“C’mon, get up, I want to stretch my legs, and we can get some snacks. I bet you’re hungry.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, that’d be great.”

I follow behind her with my hands in my hoodie pockets. While Penny goes to the snack bar, I sit on a bench. Something stabs me in my pocket. I pull out the crumpled program. Wait, Penny mentioned this week the actors have bios in the program. I furiously flip through it.

I find Baz’s picture almost immediately. It’s black and white and a bit blurry but I can still make out his face. He looks normal in it. Tight shirt, glasses falling down his nose, hair tied up. But here, he's smiling slightly. Wow, I’ve never seen him look anything other than bored or annoyed. It’s weird, but also nice. I look down at the bio.

Baz Grimm-Pitch - Cinderella’s Prince A witty English literature major with a salt and vinegar crisp addiction plays Cinderella’s arrogant love. In his spare time, Baz plays the violin, studies the development of the English language, and competes in a recreational football league. “Into the Woods” is his first dramatic production.

I chuckle under my breath. Baz really is such a nerd. Even though I already know most of this, it’s kinda...cute? I’m not sure if that’s the right word but it feels right. The little blurb is just makes him sound so adorable. I can almost forget he’s an arsehole.

“Si, you want a cookie?”

I snap my head up to glare at a smirking Penny. She waves the chocolate chip cookie tauntingly. I snatch it from her hand, making sure to glare at her while I take a huge bite. She sits down next to me and looks over at the program.

“Huh,” she says, “at least they got a good photo of Basilton.”

“Yeah,” I reply quietly. “Still can’t believe he’s in this.”

“Me neither. I thought he was just a quiet academic like me.”

“Same, but...he’s actually really good.”

“I hate to give him a victory, but yeah, he is. He’ll probably be good in the second act too.”

I whip my head around to her, eyes wide. “Second act?! I thought the story was wrapped up!”

Penny shakes her head, swishing her curls. “Nope. There’s another part. It’s just as long.”

I look at my phone clock. “We’ve already been here for an hour and a half!”

She takes a bite of her cookie and smiles around the mouthful. “Yup. Welcome to musical theatre, Si.”

I groan and slump forward. The program is still in my hand, and still on Baz’s picture. Well...if Baz has got more songs, maybe I won’t mind staying.

———————————————-

So the second act, from what I can tell, pretty much destroys all the happy endings of the first act. Wow, okay, that’s not depressing at all. Everybody either gets squished by a giant or just generally fucks up. What a pleasant play.

Baz comes back on a few times. First, he and the other prince sing another version of the previous song. It’s the same tune and the same idea, but they’re singing about different impossible women. I chuckle. So Baz’s character is a total bastard. Kind of makes him seem like less of an arsehole by comparison.

Later, as everything in the story continues to fall apart, Baz runs into the Baker’s Wife. After one short conservation, the lights go pink, and the music gets slow. Baz starts approaching her with a smirk.

“Anything can happen in the woods,” he sings. “May I kiss you?”

My eyes pop out. Well, that’s forward. Far more forward than Baz probably really is. I know it’s just the play, but Baz looks so strong and handsome, that I believe him. And, is it wrong that I sort of wish it was real? That Baz would actually be that well, sexy? God, did I just call Baz sexy?!

Baz does kiss her, and it’s so intense that I blush. The Wife walks away from him, but he grabs her again and twirls her into his arms. Together, they glide across the wooden stage, occasionally kissing more. He spins her in and out, leading her around, all while singing a sleezy but beautiful song to seduce her.

“Foolishness can happen in the woods,” he croons. “Once again, please...let your hesitations be hushed. Any moment, big or small, is a moment after all. Seize the moment, skies may fall any moment.”

They kiss again, and I can’t believe how passionate it is. How passionate Baz is. It’s strange and wonderful to watch. All too soon, the Wife is pulling away and the kiss ends. But my brain is still swirling while Baz sings again.

“Right and wrong don't matter in the woods, only feelings. Let us meet the moment unblushed. Life is often so unpleasant. You must know that, as a peasant. Best to take a moment present. As a present, for the moment.”

With Baz’s last line, they walk off stage. I’m still blushing, and very confused by my own feelings.

Soon enough, the play ends. Baz’s character leaves Cinderella and marries Sleeping Beauty. (Wow, what a bastard.) But after all that misery, everyone atill alive is alright, I guess. The actors line up and bow. Everyone starts applauding. Oh shit. I quickly join. All the cast members smile brightly as they bow. And when Baz steps up, he’s no exception. Christ, he actually looks amazing when he smiles. It fits his face far better than a scowl or a thin flat line.

I’ve been learning a lot of new things about Baz tonight.

The cast leaves and the curtain falls. Lights turn back on. People start shuffling out. I’m still a bit dumbfounded to move though. I just saw Baz in a musical, where he sang and danced and kissed perfectly. He was fucking incredible. And I should let him know.

As we’re walking out the door, I turn to one of the ticket takers. “Hey, where are the actors coming out?”

“They should be in the alley to the left soon.”

“Awesome, thanks.”

On the sidewalk, I tug on Penny’s hand. “You can head home, Pen. I’m gonna stick around for a bit.”

Penny gives me a curious look, but just shrugs. “Alright then. See you, Si.”

“See you.”

She saunters off with a spring in her step. I watch her, wondering if I should run after and not do this. But I stay still. Fuck, what am I doing?

The actors trickle out one by one. I notice Baz’s friend and his cousin, but they run off before I can ask them where Baz is. The crowd thins until I’m the only one left, standing there like an idiot. Maybe I missed him. Maybe I should just go-

“Blasted dead mobile,” a familiar voice grumbles.

My head snaps up just in time to see Baz stop in his tracks. He looks like a deer in the headlights, grey eyes wide behind his spectacles. He’s back to his usual style of t-shirt and glasses and manbun. Back to the Baz I know. His mouth hangs open in complete and utter shock.

“Hey,” I say as casually as possible.

“Snow,” he replies shakily, a slight redness appearing on his cheeks. “What are you doing here?”

"I, just saw the show. The one you were in. Obviously. And I just wanted to find you and say you're uh, you were really good."

He visibly gulps, fiddling with his knapsack strap. “Thank you. I...didn’t realise you were a musical theatre fan.”

I chuckle and rub the back of my neck. “I’m not, not really. Penny convinced me to come. I didn’t expect to see you here either. Especially on stage. How the Hell did that happen?”

Baz sighs with both exasperation and what seems like a little happiness, maybe. “Well, if you must know, my cousin was the one who originally decided to audition and I helped him with his lines. I said he was shite, and he bet me I couldn’t audition better. I’m very competitive, so I made a real effort to do well. Then I got in. I was going to turn it down, but Dev convinced me to try. It’s been, weirdly fun. I like performing. And I made new friends. Turns out there’s more to life than studying.”

“Huh,” I chuckle, “that’s pretty neat. So all that pacing and humming in the washroom was you rehearsing your lines?”

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t want you to know because it felt embarrassing. Sorry about that.”

I blink rapidly. Holy shit, I’m legitimately in shock. Baz Pitch just apologized to me. Wow. Tonight has been bizzare. “I-It’s okay. I get it now. Honestly, I just thought you were keeping me up on purpose because you hate me.” I try to laugh that last part off with a nervous chuckle.

Baz looks at the ground, shuffling his feet. I’ve seen Baz cold before, detached and pulled in and what not. But this is different. He looks...nervous. When he speaks, his words are shaky and quiet. “I don’t, you know. Hate you. I never have.”

My world tilts sideways. I nearly stumble backwards from the shock of his words. I look for any sign of deceit and find none. All I see is the anxious sort-of-teenager confessing something apparently really hard to say.

“Oh,” I stutter out. “You...you don’t?”

“No,” he says. “I just, I make arsehole comments when I’m nervous. Especially to those who...make me nervous.”

Huh? What the hell does he mean? “I, make you nervous?”

“Yes. You have almost since we met.”

I’m still confused. I take a moment to study Baz. His pulled in body language, his knapsack fiddling, his downcast eyes, his increasingly obvious blush-

Oh. Oh.

“Oh,” I squeak. Baz sighs in an annoyed way. That probably wasn’t the response he wanted.

“Yeah,“ he grumbles. “Oh.”

Crap I don’t know what to say. I end up blurting out the first thing that comes to my dumb head. “So is that stereotype about guys in theatre being gay true?”

Baz head lifts up to better glare at me. His eyes are like stormy grey daggers. “No, obviously not. It’s a stereotype for a reason.”

Shit shit, I’m so bad at this. I run a hand through my tangled hair. “Right, right, sorry. I make dumb comments when I’m nervous.” I sigh and look right at him, eyes fixed despite my fear. “I guess what I’m trying to ask to in my stupid way is, are you gay? Just, want to make sure I'm not misinterpreting. I do that a lot.”

Baz’s face softens. No more steely glare, just neutral, save for his slightly pulled in lips. “Yes,” he says like he has to force the words out. “Yes, I am.” He gulps, fiddling with his strap like mad. “Are you?”

I shrug, because truthfully the only honest gesture. “Sorta, I guess. At least part of me must be, considering how much I like looking at you.”

He inhales sharply, and the blush starts creeping down his long neck. “Oh. That’s...not something I was aware of.”

“Honestly?” I chuckle, pulling at my hair again. “Me neither. I mean, I’m always looking at you, but I never thought about why too much. It wasn’t until the show that I realised how much I like to stare at you. Um, sorry if that’s creepy.”

“No,” he replies very quickly. “no, it’s uh, it’s actually fine.”

He’s blushing very hard. Shit, am I blushing too? It certainly feels like it. “Oh. Okay.”

We look at each other in silence for a long moment. I’m not sure what to say, and obviously neither does he. We’re just two idiots standing on a driveway. I feel my stomach rumble. Oh man, I’m a hungry idiot.

“So,” I say, rocking on my heels, “do you have anywhere to be?”

Baz shakes his head. “No, not really. I’m supposed to go to the wrap party but fuck that. I was just going to go home to the dorm.”

“Well, in that case, uh, you wanna go get something to eat? There’s a 24 hour diner near our dorm building.”

He looks at me curiously, studying me like a specimen. “Are you asking me as your roommate, a fan of my performance, or...something else?”

I chew my bottom lip. Cautiously, I step forward and and brush my fingers on the back of his hand. He doesn’t pull away, so I hold it loosely. “Something else, preferably.”

Baz looks at me with wide, open eyes, filled to the brim with worry. “Snow, you do remember that we're roommates, right? If whatever, this is doesn't work out, we're still going to have to live with each other for months. That would not be pleasant. And hell, Snow, you barely know me, really. Is this really worth the risk?”

My grip on his hand tightens. He still doesn’t pull away. “Y-Yeah, of course I know this could all blow up in our faces. But, Baz, I really want to try. Like, you currently occupy like 90% of my thoughts. And sure most of them were negative, because I thought were a prick.” He frowns at that. It’s actually adorable. “But now, I’d really like to find out what you’re like when you’re not a prick. So I think it’s worth the risk.” I take a deep breath, making sure to look at Baz right in the eye. “Do you?”

I can see the gears turning in his big head. I’ve seen it a hundred times in class when we have to solve a problem. It’s even more fascinating up close. How his lips shift, his eyes darting back in forth. He doesn’t let go of my hand the whole time though. I catch the moment his face relaxes though, when he makes his decision.

“Yes,” he says quietly, “I think it’s worth the risk too.”

We both grin at the same time. Fuck I never knew before tonight that seeing his smile could make me so happy. I think I want to see it a lot more.

“Well, c’mon then.” I tug on his arm, and we start walking. “I’m hungry.”

“When are you not hungry, Snow?”

I scoff. “I thought you were only a prick when you were nervous.”

“I’m about to go on a date with my roommate who I’ve been hopelessly pining after for over a year. So excuse me, but I’m very nervous.”

Wow, my whole face must look like a tomato right now. Looking over, I see that Baz is in the exact same state. Either this is going to be incredible or a complete disaster. I’m seriously hoping for the first one.

“Don’t be,” I say as kindly as I can, “it’s just a date. We’ll see how this goes and go with it, alright?”

Half his mouth pulls up in a lazy smile. I like him relaxed like this. “Okay. I can live with that.”

I grin. I can’t stop grinning tonight. “Awesome. Now, important first date question.” He looks at me curiously and somewhat afraid. “Where the hell did you learn to sing so well?”

Baz lets out a breathy laugh. “Playing the violin all your life gives you surprisingly good pitch. It only took a few sessions with the pianist to get the songs okay. Not that they were easy. Apparently Sondheim is never easy.”

“That’s amazing.” He examines me for any sign of mocking, but he won’t find anything. I genuinely thinks it’s really cool.

“Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.”

“Could I get a repeat performance?”

“No.” I pout as much as I can, bottom lip pushed very far out. Baz stays strong for a few more seconds, then sighs. “Maybe some other time.”

I smile again. “Awesome. Next question, what was it like getting into those tight prince pants?”

“I am not dignifying that question with an answer.”

“Oh c’mon! I’m just wondering.”

“And wondering you shall stay.”

I make a “pbblt” sound with my lips. “Fine, spoilsport. How about you tell me what the production was like? Penny says plays are all drama behind the scene too.”

“Fucking hell it was a nightmare! Dev, Niall, the Witch, and Cinderella were great, but generally actors are self absorbed idiots. First day, Rapunzel came in hungover and spilled her entire coffee on my shirt. Baker's wife was the the world's worst diva. And don’t get me started on the Wolf. He tried to bang every girl in the cast, and a couple of the guys too.”

He goes on like that as we walk down the dimly lit street hand in hand. I interject a bit of commentary here and there, but I just let him talk. He’s fun to listen to. I like his sarcastic, sharp humour. Especially when it’s not directed at me.

I think I like him. A lot.

———————————————-

“No no, I’m serious!” I say far too loud, considering the time and that we’re walking down the hall of our dorm building. “Jamie is gonna kill Cersei. It’s inevitable.”

“He’s already left King’s Landing though,” Baz replies cooly.

“Yeah, but he can come back.”

“I suppose. But I think he’s going to be too busy with the White Walkers to deal with his crazy twin sister.”

“Good point. Maybe it’ll be the finale, when Dany finally storms King’s Landing.”

“Ugh, she needs to do that already. It’s been eight seasons!”

“They’re keeping us in suspense.”

I groan and lean back against the dorm room door. “I know. It’s fucking torture.” I sigh looking at the brown piece of wood. It feels so massive right now. “So, we’re here.”

“I noticed.” Baz stands in front of me, with only a few feet between us.

“First date protocol says I’m supposed to walk you to the door. But we’ve got the same door, so...”

“Yes, I’m not quite sure what to do either.”

We stare at each other. I study his face, like I have been doing all night. I spent most of our meal staring at him as he talked. I can finally admit to myself that I like to do that, and now I can also say I like his laugh, his smile, and the way he talks about his passions. I just keep seeing him in a new light. Everything feels different and new and scary. I love it.

“So,” I say quietly, “did you have fun?”

Baz smiles softly. “Yes, I did.”

“Would you, be persuaded to do this again?

“Is that your way of asking me out for a second date, Snow?”

I shrug up to my pink tinged ears. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Then yes. I would like to do this again.”

I nod rapidly, far too nervous for my own good. “Okay, cool, awesome, sounds good. Do we...just go to bed now?”

Baz shrugs slightly. “I suppose so.”

We immediately go back to staring. But my gaze drifts downwards, to his thin lips that are currently pressed together. I still remember that stage kiss. I know that was all fake, but I wonder what the real thing would be like that. I wonder if that passion translate to real life. To me.

“Simon...” Baz whispers. He’s somehow gotten closer. And my breath hitches, because he’s looking at my mouth too.

Fuck it.

I grab the front of his shirt and kiss him hard.

Baz gasps against my mouth, but very quickly sinks into it. His lips slide with mine perfectly. He presses one hand to my neck and buries the other in my hair. I groan and slide mine across his back. Christ, he’s so fucking fit. I want to tear his shirt off and feel all these muscles directly on my finger.

“Kissing on the first date, Snow?” Baz whispers playfully in one of the few moments we aren’t liplocked. “Scandalous.”

“Oh, fuck you,” I grumble, holding his hips tighter.

After a few more kisses, he pulls away with a small grin. My knees buckle at the devilish glint in his grey eyes. He looks just as sexy as he did on stage. “Well,” he drawls, “if you insist.”

For the second time tonight, my brain completely short circuits.

This is so new and scary, yet, I’m so fucking excited. I suppose it’s going to be an adventure. Into the unknown. Into the woods, I suppose.

I kiss him again, clenching my fist in his hair so hard his man bun falls apart, curtaining our faces in black strands. He pushes a hand under my shirt to feel up my stomach. I fumble with the keycard and get the blasted door open, then pull Baz in by the back of his neck. The door closes, and the rest of the night is a blissful whirlwind.

Hooray for musical theatre.

———————————————- AN: "Blargh" is copyright Theo the Fanfic Writer and anyone who steals it will be sued. /s ;)

So yeah, musicals! "Into the Woods" is my favourite musical of all time and I think Baz would be a perfect Cinderella's Prince. Also I've always thought Baz would be an incredible singer. Simon would be floored lol. Sorry if this is a little rough tbh. Hard to describe someone watching a musical haha. I struggled writing it but, I had fun in the end. I love writing Simon the Oblivious Pining Idiot.  Requests are still open and I will get to them between being dead from work. Hope you enjoyed this :)

[namjoonsteeth]

Back To You- Day 2

Title: Back To You (mini-series) Day 2 of 7 

Word-Count: 5k

Summary: Jay has been Eden’s weakness for far too long. As much as she tells herself she’s over him, all it takes is one call for her to drop everything and fly to Rome for a week to help him out. He wants a second chance, she just wants to stop being so foolish when it comes to him. They both have 7 days in Italy to figure it out.

Genre: Angst

Cover made by @obiwon-shenobi​

“Fuck,” 

Being this close to him has officially ruined me, once again. I wake up with my hands clinging to the sheets and my lip painfully wedged between my teeth. The image of Jay’s hands running across my skin still lingers. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t know just how good he is at what he does. And God do I know. 

I roll my eyes at myself already done with my behavior and it’s not even, I roll over to look at my phone, seven o’clock yet. I have no one to blame. I brought this on myself. All I can do is fucking deal with it. Starting with pretending that I didn’t wake up mid-sex dream about my ex-fling who’s sleeping just a few rooms down from me. 

I have about an hour and a half before eight, when I have to be up and outside so I can shoot with the groovy-room guys, Gyu-Jung and Hwi-min. I remember walking past a gym downstairs. I’m hoping I can at least run my frustration out or this day is headed straight to hell. 

I get up and pull on some leggings and a sports bra before grabbing a towel and heading downstairs quietly. The house is eerie so early in the morning. Each step I make echoes in the big hallways. Thankfully the door to the gym is left wide open and it’s empty. I plug my earphones in and tuck my phone in my pocket. 

For the next hour, I work out the fact that I want to spend the rest of the day in Jay’s bed and recount all the reasons that could absolutely not happen. 

“You look stressed,” 

I turn at the sound of Chase’s voice. 

“Nope, not stressed at all,” I give him a tight-lipped smile. My steps start to feel heavier as I turn up the speed. Totally not stressed. 

“It’s not healthy to avoid your problems, Eden. Especially when he’s Jay Park. The man doesn’t give up,”

“He’s not a problem,” I breathe out. 

You would think the fact that I’m wearing headphones is a clear indicator not to talk to me, but at last, here we are. Running away from my sex dreams only to have his best friend show up. 

“He just needs to learn that not everybody is cool with being walked over just because he’s who he is,” 

“You know him, Eden. He’s not going to give up until he knows a hundred and ten percent that you’re done with him,”

“I’ve said it, Chase. I can say it until I’m fucking blue in the face and he’ll still be like ‘We’re meant to be together. I’m going to be with you whether you like it or not’,” I do a poor imitation of Jay’s voice waving my hands around dramatically like he does. 

“First of all, his voice isn’t even that deep. Secondly, you’re here,” he sighs. I bat his hand away as he leans over to stop my machine but he’s stronger. My legs come to a stop and feel like jelly. I use the handles on the treadmill to hold myself up.  

“You can’t tell me you don’t want him to try. You wouldn’t be here if that was the case. You want him to change your mind,”

Fuck. I hate being transparent. I hate when other people know me better than I know myself. 

“Did he send you here to spy on me?” I frown trying to change the subject.

Chase smiles. “He’s my best friend, Eden. Even if he didn’t beg me to try and pick your brain a bit then I’d still be down here with a PowerPoint on why you should give him another chance,” 

I get off of the treadmill and use a disinfectant wipe to wipe it down before tossing it.

 “I swear you guys are worse than gossiping females,”

“Guys fall in love to, Eden,” he notes tilting his head. 

I scoff. “Love?”

“Yeah. He loves you. He’s probably just admitting to himself now but he does. He wouldn’t have gone through all of that bullshit with Simon,”

“Simon?” I interrupt. “What does he have to do with this?”

Chase sighs. “Simon sees you as a friend. You guys are close. He takes your side no matter what. He just really wanted Jay to leave you alone. And you know Jay. He doesn’t listen to anyone,”

I groan. “Tell me they didn’t fight,”

“No, it was just a little tense for a while. I think he saw how much Jay actually likes you,”

“I gotta go,” I sigh wiping my forehead with my towel. 

Chase shrugs. “Just try not to hold it in and maybe talk to him. Or at least think about it, Eden,”

“I don’t have a choice,” I mutter to myself. 

The shoot with the groovy room boys comes and goes. It’s my first one on one meeting with a h1gher music artist. They’re fun and I’m laughing for most of the shoot. It takes my mind off of their boss for a few hours. After a while, it doesn’t even feel like work.

When we get back to the villa, everybody is busy. Some go out to explore the city, some make use of the makeshift studio set up upstairs in one of the more further rooms. I run into Jay, but even he seems busy, his phone pressed against his ear and sparing me nothing more than a small smile. 

I spend time going through the photos I took. I separate them between solo and group shots and send them to my boss in L.A for editing. This is one of our biggest projects and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had time to dedicate the week to shooting, there would be no way we could get it done by the deadline they’d set. 

I’m looking through my camera at the three guys. It’s not fair that they’re all just so...them. Jay and Chase are silly, playful in front of the camera making every shot I take just seen so light. Then there’s Simon. He laughs and jokes back and forth with the guys but there’s still a quiet presence about him that screams ‘I’m the boss,’. 

It’s weird to see the juxtaposition, but it works. All of it does. The old buildings, the deep colors surrounding us, the ocean in the background. It all works with the three guys. 

They pose without much direction from me and honestly, it makes the shoot fly through. For being only the second group shot, it’s going easier than I had expected. I’ve known for a while their all professionals but I appreciate it even more as we work on my planned shots and trade ideas back and forth. By the end of the three hour time that I blocked off, I’ve gotten hundreds of good pictures to choose from. 

The sun has gone down and none of us have eaten anything other than the cheese and bread we’d stopped for earlier. Chase is complaining about hunger pains while rubbing his flat stomach while Simon rolls his eyes laughing. “Should we find something on the street?” Simon turns to ask me and Jay. At some point, Jay had reached over to grab my camera bag and it’s slung on his back. He also has my camera in his hand, flipping through today’s work like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I narrow my eyes at the back of his head. None of this is normal. But I’m here already. I have no choice but to just deal. 

“These are really good,” he says turning to look at me. He catches me giving him a dirty look. His mouth pulls into a smile as he shakes his head. This must be really hard for him, not getting what he wants.  I’m promising to stick to my guns and give him no more leverage.

“I’m a professional photographer,” I deadpan. 

I don’t know if it’s me who matches my strides with his or if he’s slowed down but we’re walking side by side now. Our shoulders bump against each other with each step but I can’t find it in myself to pull back. 

“I miss your smart ass mouth,” he laughs loudly. 

“I’m just saying,” I say quietly. “I mean, you are paying me to take pictures. That’s like the main reason that I’m here other than a pretty cheap vacation in Rome,”

Jay sighs and reaches over to gently set my camera back around my neck. He pulls my curls out from underneath the cord and pushes stray locks out of my face. 

He’s always been attentive; pushing hair out of my face, holding my hand tightly when I walked in heels that were a bit too high, warming me up when he’d noticed goosebumps. 

“That’s not the only reason you’re here,” he says smugly. 

“Oh yeah?” I roll my eyes but don’t give him the chance to elaborate that he waits for. 

He takes it anyway. 

“You should know that I don’t mess around when it comes to you, Eden,”

“Yeah, except when we say no expectations, right?”

I don’t know where it comes from. He immediately recognizes the stupid promise we made when he first started to mess around. 

No expectations. No pressure.

It didn’t last. Maybe it’s my fault. I had expectations, hope for us that I wanted. And for the majority of the time, I seemed like maybe we were on the same page. It’s amazing what will come out of the dark when it’s time.  

“Careful Eden, you’re about a sentence away from sounding like you care about me again,”

I stop walking. He’s unbelievable. Yeah, it’s my fault that I thought that maybe there was something more than fucking after shows and alcohol infused kisses. I looked too deep. But, I will not be blamed for anything besides my feelings alone. 

“Please, stop talking to me,” I sigh. 

“Why are you being so difficult?”

“Because I’m very uninterested in playing your games, Jay,”

He laughs. “My games? I’ve been nothing but straight up with you. You’re the one who-,”

“God, you are so fucking selfish,” I say. I don’t bother lowering my voice. I don’t even have it in me to glance at Chase and Simon who’ve stopped walking and focused their attention on me. “Don’t you dare blame me for any of your messy shit,”

My skin feels like fire. Like I’m burning up. All of me. And it’s because of him. Because he doesn’t get it. Because for some reason it’s acceptable for him to be a child. It’s not my responsibility to coddle him, to spell out all the ways he hurt me when it’s as clear as water. 

“How am I selfish, Eden. I’m trying so fucking hard with you, and you’re giving me nothing,”

“I don’t want you to. I’m telling you that I want you to just fucking stop. Stop with the sly remarks about how you miss me, stop trying to win me back because I was obviously never yours to begin with,”

He steps closer to me, closing the distance between us. I see Chase shift uncomfortably but I can’t feel bad right now. Not when I feel like he’s cutting my air off. I shouldn’t have come. I can’t keep saying it because it’ll remain the same no matter what, but I shouldn’t be here. 

“You were never mine, Eden?”

I ignore his question and brush past him. He grabs my wrist stopping me. “Tell me what I did,”

A stream of everything I’ve been holding in comes out like a train going full speed right at Jay. I can’t stop it. 

“You’re a liar and you’re a cheater. You needed easy. And fucking twenty one year old naive me was so easy for you,”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jay exclaims. His voice rises too and I have to resist the urge to shrink back. “I never cheated on you,” 

I scoff, shaking my head at him. “You’re right. We were never together. You can’t cheat on people you’re hooking up with. And technically, I never asked if there was someone else. You’re right,”

I walk past him. 

“The next time you manipulate someone into falling in love with you Jay, make sure your fucking girlfriend doesn’t come visit you on tour,”

I leave them all standing there. 

Maybe blowing up in the middle of Rome wasn’t the ideal situation. Maybe I could’ve handled it better but I’ve been a volcano for years now. It was only a matter of time. 

Ten minutes of walking later, it’s dark and I’m lost. I’ve also been crying like an idiot. I must look like a child. I feel like one too. Nothing looks familiar but I don’t have any particular urge to go back to the villa yet. 

“Hey,” It’s Simon. He’s been walking with me, quietly keeping his distance while I silently curse out his friend. “Why are you guys so dysfunctional,” he sighs jogging to catch up to me. His arm comes around my shoulder pulling me out of the way of a cyclist. 

“Did you know he was dating someone at the same time that we-,”

I don’t know how to finish the sentence. What were we, really? We weren’t together, the mutual promise of no expectations or pressure made sure that we got nowhere near labels. But it was something, right? Shit, I’m a mess. 

“No,” he shakes his head. “He wasn’t with anyone. He doesn’t date on tour. It gets messy,”

“Like this,” I say rolling my eyes. “But she came. I literally laid eyes on her when she came to visit him the last week of the tour and again when she was leaving. I didn’t know who she was until after the fact,”

“Eden, she’s just a girl,” he sighs. “Listen, it’s really none of my business but you’re hurting and that’s my business. He wouldn’t have done that to you,”

“How do you know,” I shoot at him.   

“He’s in love with you, Eden. It’s been two years, and you’re still the one he wants above anybody else,”

I frown, crossing my arms over my chest. “And I’m supposed to just pretend that everything is fine so that he can once again have what he wants,”

“No, you should work it out with him because it’s what you came here to do. Whatever you saw, talk to him about it. Give him a chance to explain himself and then make your decision,”

That’s all either of us say about Jay. We stop at a restaurant and grab a slice of pizza and share a cup of peach gelato, typical touristy things. By the time we get back to the villa is nearing nine and I’m tired and stuffed. I say goodnight to Simon and head upstairs. 

Kicking my shoes off, it’s not long before I’m passed out across my bed. It’s even shorter than that when dream-Jay comes back. This time he’s rough and frustrated. His hand moves too hard against my skin while his mouth bites at my neck. Just when his hips are getting ready to press against mine, my phone rings. 

I blindly reach for it, finding it somewhere near my thigh. 

“Hello,”

“Are you ok?”

I hate that it’s the first thing he asks me. I hate that despite everything, I know he cares. Whether it’s his pride or his heart, there’s a part of him that cares. The fact that it gives my heart a little hope lets me know how stupid I am when it comes to him. 

“I’m fine,”

“Eden,” he starts. He sighs. “I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone. Let me see you,”

I scrub my hands over my face. I’m so tired. I think this trip is about being done with him once and for all. 

“I’m torturing myself,” I say quietly. “I know how stupid it is for me to want to be here with you. Despite everything,”

He’s quiet, listening. 

“I’m making a fool of myself, aren’t I? Pretending that I don’t care, acting like I don’t want this even a little bit,”

I hear him blow a breath out. I’m stressing him out, I guess. 

“Let me take you somewhere. I want to make sure you’re good,”

“I’m fine,” I insist again. “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier,”

“I don’t care about that. What you said, about you being easy, you know that’s bullshit. I can’t,” he pauses. 

It sounds like he pulls the phone away from his ear as he curses. 

“Let’s not do this tonight, Jay,”

“Then when?”

“Never,” I sigh. “We don’t have to do this. We don’t have to recount all that shit just so I can stop feeling sorry for myself,”

“No, we need to talk about our shit so that we can move forward. I want to be with you, Eden. I can’t spell it out anymore clearer than that. I want to leave here knowing that you’re mine again. Whatever work I have to put in, I’m here. I’m ready,”

I sigh, pulling my blanket over my head and kicking my feet like a toddler. This is frustrating. That he knows all the right things to say is utterly and completely frustrating. That I’m falling for it again is...frustrating. 

“Open the door, Eden,”

“What door?”

I hear him laugh softly. A gentle knock has me rolling my eyes. What he wants..he gets I guess. I pull on a pair of sweats and crack my room door open. 

He changed out of his clothes from earlier into joggers and a hoodie. The hood is pulled up over his head and his hands tuck in his pockets. I want to reach out. He just looks so boyish, charming. Like he’s at my window begging me to sneak out past curfew. 

“I’m taking you to the Trevi Fountain,” he says. 

“It’s like ten o’clock,” I whisper tiredly. If there’s one thing he knows about me, it’s that I don’t do particularly well when people pull me out of bed. As much as I do want to see the fountain, it’s fucking ten o’clock. 

“I know, Baby, but I want to take you to see it,” he insists smiling excitedly at me. 

I freeze at the endearment. I don’t know why he’s doing this to me. I mean, I do but it’s hard to build my walls up at ten o’clock. I can’t be held accountable for any of my actions if I go with him. 

“Jay, I told you we aren’t doing this,”

“And I told you that this is my last chance with you. If you thought this was going to be easy, you don’t know me,”

I sigh and close the door. My head leans against it as I put off making the decision we both know I’m going to make. 

“Bring your camera,” I hear him say through the door. 

I don’t know what pisses me off more; the fact that he just knows that I’ll come out with him or the fact that I immediately turn around and take my camera off of the charger and put an empty SD card in. I pull a hoodie on and a pair of jeans and grab my purse. 

When I open the door, Jay pulls my hand into his and leaned me through the house and through the front door. I’m looking for a car but he just keeps walking until he’s pulling me along on the side of the road. 

“Is this your way of forcing me to talk to you?”

“Mhmm,” he nods. His fingers tighten around mine and I don’t have it in me to pull free. 

“We’ll talk. Not about us. About all the other stuff,”

I need to hear it from him. I don’t even think he knew that I was aware of the existence of the other girl he’d been with until today. 

“We never broke up,” he says quietly. “And that’s my bad. I should’ve sorted out my shit before getting with you. I just didn’t expect to meet someone else. We never ended anything because at the end of tour we always ended up back together,”

He fingers tighten around mine. He lifts my hand to his lips to kiss the back of it. It’s too familiar. It’s the affection I’ve been craving for too long. 

“But trust me, when me and you got together it was never my intention to only have you temporarily. You were it for me,”

“But you did go back to her,” I point out, remembering him in my apartment almost six months after I promised myself I was done. All it took was one drunk call and he’d been at my bed in L.A, kissing me like he’d been starved. I woke up to his phone ringing, and her flashing face probably wondering where he was. 

Needless to say, that visit ended with his phone flying out of my door after him and more than a few choice colorful words. My apartment was a mess by the end of it and my voice had gone hoarse from screaming at him. 

“You weren’t answering my calls, texts, and she was familiar. I was terrible to her from the time you ended things up until the day I showed up at your apartment. I put everything on her. It wasn’t fair to both of you,”

We walk silently, both of us caught in our heads. He’s to blame for all of it. It’s all on him. He didn’t technically cheat on anyone. He didn’t technically lie either. But, unfortunately technicalities don’t matter when it comes to the heart.  

“I want to believe you so bad,” I say honestly. I do. I want to believe that he never wanted to hurt me, but the fact remains that he did. 

“I fucked up so bad, Eden. I’m just asking you to try,” he says almost pleadingly. 

I’m trapped. I can’t give him an answer right now. Not when it feels like I’m slicing open an old wound. 

“Jay, you pulled me out here to see the fountain. Let’s just see the fountain,” I say trying to pull my hand out of his. 

He holds me tighter and stops walking. 

“I need you to know that I never tried to hurt you. I mean I know, I could’ve been less messy but I chose you. It wasn’t even a choice really. The minute I met you, I was done. I’m-,” he stops mid-sentence. His chin drops down to his chest.

I can’t talk about this now. Not when we still have five more days to be in each other’s space. He must sense that we’ll get nowhere on the subject tonight because he starts walking again, my fingers locked tightly in his. We walk in silence for close to fifteen minutes before either of us says anything. He’s somewhere lost in his head. His brows curl together, his mouth twisting to the side. 

“I missed you too,” I whisper suddenly. 

I don’t know why I’m saying it. It just makes all of this even messier. I think when you care about people, truly, you try to keep them from hurting as much as you can help it. I know it’s what he wants to hear, or it’s at least part of it. I can give that to him at least. I want to erase the deep frown from his face. 

Jay stays quiet but he pulls me close, an arm coming around my neck. We probably look like a cute couple strolling down an Italian dirt road. It’s the most intimate we’ve been in more than a year. 

“What if we get robbed,” I blurt out. 

He laughs next to me. “The van’s been trailing us for a while now. You just haven’t noticed,”

I look behind me to see that a white van has indeed been following us. This is why he’s bad for me. He’s got all of my attention. 

“We’re almost there,” he says. 

“What made you want to come here so late?” I ask. 

“It’s romantic,” he says simply. “I’m not playing, Eden. I’m going to be the most romantic mother fucker in the world to get you back,”

“Why,” I roll my eyes pretending not to care. 

But I need this. I need him to describe all the ways I’m still on his mind. I want him to tell me exactly which parts of me still pique his interest two years later. We’d only been fooling around for a couple of weeks, but it was every day. Every day he spent hours telling me how crazy he was about my body, my mouth and everything else. 

The fountain comes into view. It’s too beautiful for words, and with the moonlight bouncing off the water, it truly looks like something from out of mythology books. I feel like a damn water nymph is going to pop out from behind the marble statues. 

I lift my camera and start clicking almost immediately. Jay’s in a majority of them. He’s leaning over the edge of the fountain, looking up at the moon, looking at me, walking toward me, reaching out to grab my hand. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says drawing closer. 

“You have a smart mouth that used to piss me off and turn me on at the same time. You’re smart and passionate, and sexy as hell. We match in every way,” His hand settles on my hip as he pulls me close. My chest presses against his, my hand clutches the material of his hoodie for some faux semblance of a bit of control. 

“I need you in my life, Eden. I’ve seen myself without you, I’ve felt it. And I don’t want to do it anymore,”

He smiles suddenly, nearly knocking me on my ass. 

“I’m trapped,”

“And what if I forgive you, that doesn’t mean that we’re automatically in a relationship. 

“Last night, you told me we weren’t friends and at first I thought that I was ok with that because I was never interested in being friends with you,” I feel his breath fan across my mouth. 

He’s too close. I  trust myself less than I trust him. If these dreams keep popping up I think I’ll have to be on the next flight home just to keep myself from touching him. My grip on his jacket tightens as I force myself to keep my distance. 

“But,” He continues. “You don’t trust me. And if it wasn’t for the fact that you’re physically attracted to me, I’d think you didn’t even like me,”

Jay draws in a deep breath. I feel his arms come up to wrap around my waist slowly. I can’t tell him not to. All of my concentration has to be on not touching kissing him. 

“So we’ll just be friends for now. For tonight and maybe a little bit of tomorrow. I only have this week with you so excuse me if it feels like I’m rushing this a bit,” “Friends don’t take their friends out to the trevi fountain in the middle of the night and stand this close, Jay,”

He smiles and I swear my heart drops out of my chest and falls right into the water next to us. I’m doomed. It’s only day two but I’m in for it, I just know. 

“Best friends then, Eden. You’ve officially replaced Chase,”

“So we get to talk about boys and do each other’s nails?”

He lets me go and pulls back. I miss his body pressed against mine. I can admit that. I also miss the feeling of almost kissing him. I tuck my hands in my pockets to keep from pulling him back in my space. 

“You’re really a pain in the ass,” he laughs. 

I watch him push his hand into his pockets. He pulls out a fist full of change and gestures for me to hold my hands out. I take half of the pile. 

“I figured, why make one wish, right? One’s bound to come true,”

I can’t help but smile at him. I close my eyes and wish. I wish for small things like my hair turning out ok tomorrow, and for the lightning to be good for the CEO shots. But I also wish for big things like hoping we all make it home safely after the trip. I also wish for him. I wish that if it’s meant to be him, we can figure it all out. 

When I’m done I look up at him. His eyes are closed tightly while he throws each of the remaining coins in one by one. His pink lips move softly against each other as he speaks each wish into hopeful existence. 

He’s too pretty. Long eyelashes that almost brush his cheeks. Shard cheekbones and a jawline that cuts at a severe angle. I can’t blame myself for being a mess over him. I take a picture of him quickly before the moment passes. 

When his eyes open, he sees me staring up at him. He looks too good for me to look away. I reach out for him first. I wrap my arms around his back. This is what I want. I could lie to myself but it won’t change the fact that at the end of every day for the last two years, this has been what I wanted. 

“I’ll give you until the end of the week,” I tell him. “Convince me or let me go, Jay,”

His arms come up around me too. His chin rests on my shoulder as he pulls me close. His head turns and his lips press softly against my neck. “I told you making a lot of wishes at once would be a good idea. One already came true,” he says against my skin.

“What did you wish for,” I ask scared of what he’ll say. 

His lips press against my skin again and he takes a breath like he’s taking me in. 

“A chance,”

[honeyedhoseok]

Noona |02|

 word count | 5.1k

genre | noona x jungkook; college au

warnings | profanity, smut (in the future)

summary | There’s no denying the sexual tension between you and Jungkook that developed over the summer, and all thanks to social media. But now that he’s a freshman at your university he expects something more than a flirty text from you–and you’re not so sure if you’re ready to give it to him yet.

| Part One | Part Two | Part Three |

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you muttered, closing your eyes before you lost your shit.

You were laying in bed, scrolling through your morning feed and catching up on last night’s Instagram posts when Jungkook snapped you, a confident smirk adorning his face with the caption see you tonight noona under the picture. The conversation from the night before came flooding back to you immediately and you groaned, throwing your phone to the side to avoid having to respond.

What the fuck was wrong with your drunk brain? It always went way left and got you in trouble, but this time was different. You’d promised Jungkook something in return for all the teasing that had been going on for the past few months—and you were positive he was more than ready to cash in.

You rolled out of bed, the sunshine beaming in through your windows and illuminating your room in bright light due to the fact that you’d slept past noon. Yujin was at the kitchen counter, hunched over a bowl of cereal and looking like the dead.

“You’re awake?” you asked, going over to the coffee maker to start a fresh pot. “I’m honestly surprised. The amount of vomit last night…” You trailed off, shuddering at the memory. “Linda Blair would have been jealous.”

“Yeah? Well I feel like I’ve been exorcised, so I can see the resemblance.” Yujin dropped her spoon in her half-full bowl, rubbing at her temples tenderly. You reached into the cabinet above the counter, grabbing a bottle of pain relievers and shaking out two for Yujin before you popped two into your own mouth.

“Take these,” you muttered between pressed lips, filling a glass of water from the tap. Hopefully they would work fast enough to give you an adequate response to Jungkook. Your head and heart pounded in rhythm at the thought of him, each one working overdrive due to its own cause.

As if he could read your thoughts, your phone dinged on the counter beside you: another snapchat from Jungkook.

“So while you were trying not to die last night, I may have done something really stupid…” you said, watching as Yujin dry-swallowed her Tylenol, making you wince at the sight.

“This is about you cradle-robbing, isn’t it?” She narrowed her eyes at you, picking up her spoon and thrusting it in your direction. “You’re an idiot.”

“I didn’t even—I am not cradle-robbing! He’s a grown man!” You crossed your arms. “That’s besides the point. I told him he should come to the party tonight, and I may have mentioned…us getting together…alone…”

Yujin was already shaking her head by the time you finished, grabbing her still half-full bowl and pouring the milk down the sink, leaving behind the soggy remains of her cereal to throw in the trashcan. “So you’ll get what you want. What’s the big deal here?”

You pressed your lips together in thought. She was right in a way. So why did you feel so anxious whenever you thought about it?

“I’m just—I’m scared of what this means, you know?” you said, exasperated. “I don’t know if Jungkook actually likes me or just thinks of me as a cheap fuck or—what if he does like me? What am I supposed to do? And then if he doesn’t like me and we fuck–”

Yujin whipped around in place. “Wait, are you saying you want to be with him?”

“I don’t—I don’t know. I don’t think so? I don’t see him like that but—” Your headache was definitely starting to come back, the Tylenol doing the opposite of their job as you felt a tightening around your temples. “This is stressful. I don’t know why I’m even thinking about it this hard…it’s Jungkook for fucks sake.”

“Exactly,” Yujin said, leaning back against the counter and crossing her arms. “Why are you thinking about it so much? I thought you wanted this. In fact, you’ve been wanting this, ‘cause I’ve been hearing things about his possible dick size since that pool party we went to over the summer.”

“That was theoretical! This is real!”

Yujin sighed. “I’m going to my room. I need to prep if we’re going out again tonight.”

She left you with a feeling of irritation settling into the joints of your fingers as you picked up your phone, opening the latest picture from Jungkook. His legs were stretched out in front of him on the couch, the thick muscles of his thighs visible through his sweats—the same ones he was wearing in the picture he sent you the night before. There was no caption, just a picture merely to remind you that you hadn’t responded to his first one.

You typed out a response: go take a shower and change your clothes you bum

Jungkook couldn’t keep his mind off you. All he needed was a distraction, something that would keep his mind busy for hours at a time until he could see you tonight–which is why he found himself on the couch, un-showered, with Taehyung absolutely beating his ass in a game of Call of Duty.

“Stop with that fucking camping shit, Tae. If I get sniped walking across the grounds one more time I’m gonna fucking throttle you.” Jungkook sent a menacing glare across the room to the other couch, where Taehyung sat with an obnoxious head set on, his eyes glued to the flat screen tv that sat on the entertainment system. He answered without looking away.

“That’s the name of the game, kid.”

Jungkook was trying hard to concentrate, letting his tongue rest between his lips as he pressed the buttons harder on his controller. He rounded the corner of a building, looking around for Taehyung up high just as his phone dinged on the couch beside him, breaking him out of his trance. He glanced down, giving Taehyung ample opportunity to kill him one more time, running full speed at him on the game and giving Jungkook no chance to aim his gun.

“Fuck yeah!” Taehyung exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air as he watched Jungkook’s character fall to the ground in the final kill cam, signaling the end of the game. Jungkook could care less as he swiped his thumb across the screen, your reply on snapchat popping up.

go take a shower and change your clothes you bum

He smirked a little, exiting the app and returning to his normal texting app. I’ll shower if you join me ;)

“Jungkook, you down for another round?” Taehyung asked, removing one headphone from the side of his head so he could hear his friend’s reply. “Dude?”

“Huh? What?” Jungkook asked, too engrossed in the flirty conversation that was about to develop as you replied back. “Nah, Jimin can take my place.” He got up from the couch, passing Jimin as he came out of the bathroom, towel-drying his damp hair.

He heard Taehyung mutter an annoyed comment about being whipped just as he shut the door to his bedroom, stretching himself across his bed as he read your latest message: Nope, I’m already clean

Text message sent 1:29pm

I’ll make you nice and dirty tonight, don’t worry

Noona

Text message received 1:32pm

Okay yeah sure

What are you doing for the rest of the day?

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed at your obvious attempt to deflect his flirty line. Normally you were all up for some playful banter, what was going on?

Text message sent 1:34pm

Just chilling until the party…probably gonna unpack some more. you?

 Noona

Text message received 1:35pm

Nothing

 You were being short now. Something was definitely up. Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to ask you, too scared that you were going to tell him that you weren’t coming to the party tonight—or worse, that you weren’t interesting in fucking him anymore.

Text message sent 1:36pm

Do you wanna come chill over here?

Taehyung knocked on his door twice then, busting in without waiting for Jungkook to tell him to come in. He frowned at his friend over his shoulder, irritation lacing his voice. “What the fuck?”

“We’re going to grab some lunch on campus. You coming?”

“Yeah, just a sec.”

As Taehyung shut the door, Jungkook glanced down at his screen, seeing that you’d read his message, but the typing bubbles to let him know you were in the midst of replying didn’t pop up.

You spent the rest of the day doing things around the apartment—unpacking the rest of your clothes, setting up the kitchen and the bathroom, cooking dinner for you and Yujin—basically anything you could to get your mind off things until it was finally time to start getting dressed for the party.

You’d sent Jungkook a lame excuse about an hour after he texted you asking about coming over, and then filled your day with mundane tasks so that you wouldn’t feel bad about blowing him off. If you told him you were busy and then did things around the apartment, that technically wasn’t lying, right? Even if you didn’t have to do those things? He’d responded with an ok so you figured he was fine with it, ignoring the fact that his shortened answer seemed a little peeved in nature.

Yujin came out of her room in a cloud of perfume, already sipping on a red-cup concoction she’d thrown together in your kitchen about thirty minutes before getting dressed. She believed in pre-gaming to the fullest just in case there were lame drinks at the party—like beer—and most of the time she convinced you to do the same. She pulled the edge of her skirt down, willing it just slightly past the curve of her ass and you rolled your eyes.

“Nice outfit.”

“It shrunk in the dryer, I swear!” she complained, struggling to yank the unyielding fabric down once more. “I just bought this!”

You shook your head at her, frowning. “Just wear something else, you don’t wanna be fiddling with that all night.” You glanced down at your own outfit—a pair of jean shorts and a black keyhole tank top—that looked lackluster in comparison to Yujin’s. What would Jungkook think?

Yujin walked back in her room to rummage through her drawers for a few more minutes so you went into the living room, your wedges dangling from the fingers of one hand as you scrolled on your phone with the other. Jungkook had posted a snapchat to his story forty seconds ago and you clicked on it, glancing over the video of him, Jimin and Taehyung taking a shot in someone’s kitchen that you didn’t recognize.

“Jungkook is already there! Hurry up!” you yelled to Yujin. Your stomach flipflopped as you stared at the video on loop a little longer, catching a glimpse of the pale expanse of Jungkook’s neck as he tipped back the shot glass contents.

“The Uber will be here in five minutes, let’s go.”

There were other girls standing around outside when you got downstairs, each dressed in their own form of party gear, giggling with their friends and talking loudly about anything and everything. The scent of cheap cigarettes and Victoria’s Secret perfumes filled the air around them, and you sidestepped one of them as she stumbled back from the group, adding action to the budding story she was in the middle of telling. You and Yujin stood off the side quietly, still sipping from your red solo cups as the Uber app updated you that the driver would be there in two minutes.

Upon seeing a red Chevrolet pulling around the corner, you downed the rest of your drink and Yujin took your cup, placing it inside her own and tossing it into the bushes beside your apartment complex.

The Uber driver made small talk with the two of you as you drove off-campus. You were mostly grateful for it because you couldn’t deny that Uber drivers creeped you out. They were hit or miss—either nice and normal or total wack jobs that really shouldn’t have decided to be a driver in a college town. But, the conversation kept your mouth busy and therefore your mind.

Five minutes into the ride, just as Yujin was talking about restaurants she enjoyed downtown, a popping noise was heard over the sound of the talking, followed by the car unsettling itself and shaking everyone up. You gripped the side of your seat, looking over at Yujin with panicked eyes.

“What the fuck just happened?” she asked.

The uber driver sighed, pushing a button on the dash for the hazard lights and pulling over slowly to the side of the road. “The tire just blew. Sorry, ladies.”

Jungkook took his phone from his pocket, hitting the lock button to light up the screen so he could check the time again—it was the third time he’d done it in ten minutes. Each time the screen mocked him with its emptiness: no messages, no snapchats, no nothing from you.

He sipped from the solo cup in his hand, clicking on snapchat to see if you’d updated your story with anything that would let him know you were on the way but that was a bust as well. Where the hell were you?

Jimin tapped him on the shoulder, pointing to the guy that was handing out fireball shots at the counter, rounding up a group of people to take one with him. They quickly followed in suit, plucking a tiny solo cup from the stack on the counter and letting him fill it with the cinnamon-flavored liquid, enjoying the burn in their throats as they went down.

Jungkook was feeling good, but he wanted to feel better. He wanted to get the jitteriness out of his stomach for when you did show up so he could be sure he wouldn’t fuck things up with you.

Jimin suggested they go find Taehyung and set up at the beer pong table, but Jungkook needed another shot. So he took another. And another. And then he grabbed a cup of party punch to sip on. Jimin shot him a you-better-fucking-slow-your-roll look but he just grinned, sipping from his cup and leading the way through the house.

The party was in full swing now, the walls of the house vibrating with the music pumping from the stereo system. People leaned close to each other to talk, bodies congregated into sectioned areas of the house—the kitchen where the drinks were, the living room where the music was, and the foyer where the games were—as well as people littering the lawn and back porch.

Jungkook couldn’t help but feel slightly out of place. He’d been to a party before, but nothing like this. He saw you at these all the time, looking like you were having the time of your life but at the moment he didn’t feel like that at all. He wondered if it was because he only knew two people there, or if he just needed to drink some more and fucking relax.

He sipped from his cup and followed his older friends as they gathered another person for a beer pong tournament. When they finally started, he realized he was pretty good. After two games, he and Taehyung had found their rhythm and were running the table, winning 3-0. Everyone else was too plastered to make the cups. Jimin was trying hard to carry his team on his back, but one plastered guy and one sober stood no chance against Tae and Jungkook’s competitiveness.

Jungkook was still only slightly buzzed though, the very faint feeling of lightness in his head wasn’t satisfying to him. He needed more and he needed it now. So, he trudged back into the kitchen, in search of a clean shot glass and some vodka.

Yujin and you sat on the sidewalk, watching your Uber driver attempt at fixing his own tire. He swore he knew how to do it, but he was currently watching a tutorial on his phone for step by step instructions, his tools laid out beside him on the ground.

“There’s no way to cancel the fucking ride once it’s started,” Yujin said, smacking her lips and placing her phone back in her bra. “We literally have to sit here and get our money’s worth.”

Cars passed by, some slowing down like there were going to help, but upon seeing the driver looking like he knew what he was doing, they sped up again and went on about their nights. If it were just you and Yujin pulled over on the side of the road, you were sure about ten people would have stopped to offer help—mostly guys because of your attire, but hey, anything would have been better than this.

“Sir, we would help you,” you called out, ignoring the way Yujin muttered a fuck no we wouldn’t under her breath. “But we don’t know shit about changing a tire.”

“That’s okay, ladies. Just a few more minutes…”

“He’s said that like five times now.” Yujin stood up, dusting off her skirt and holding a hand out to you to hoist you from the ground with her. “If I don’t have tequila swimming in my veins in the next thirty minutes I’m gonna kill someone. Probably him.”

You rolled your eyes. “Wow, how un-selfish of you, Yu. Way to go.”

Yujin went to stand close to the street in the hopes of flagging a car down, but the array of forty-year-old moms that went by in their minivans didn’t give two shits about a party girl in a leather skirt with her thumb out.

A few more clinks, twists and grunts later, and your driver had finally fixed the tire. He was all nice and sweaty by then and the car reeked of his perspiration but neither you or Yujin tried to dwell on it. You were over an hour late for the party by now, and you both knew everyone there was going to be well into their drinking by the time your sober asses showed up.

And you were certainly right.

There were already evident signs of people reaching their limits—some were staring off into space on the front porch as you passed, some were clutching their stomachs vomiting in the azaleas. The sight made you annoyed more than it did disgusted. It was going to take you forever to catch up.

Yujin dragged you straight into the kitchen the minute your foot stepped over the threshold, where she grabbed two shot glasses and a random bottle of rum off the counter and filled them up. You clinked, tapped your shot on the table, and then downed it before urging her to fill it up once more. It wasn’t that either of you were trying to get wasted, it was just that parties were a lot less fun when people were intoxicated around you and you weren’t. You tended to notice things you wouldn’t, such as the uncomfortable heat that was settling over the house due to the packed bodies, or the horrible rap music that was blasting through the speakers, or the array of drunk guys that were crowded around the beer pong table making way too much noise for a dumb game.

“What the fuck is going on over there?” you asked, pointing in the direction of the crowd of bodies.

“Testosterone, maybe?” Yujin shrugged. “Let’s go find out.”

The two of you crept up on the crowd, sipping on cups of party punch and trying to peek over the tall shoulders that were blocking your view. You found a hole in the circle and edged your way through it, finally taking in who was kicking ass at the table.

Jungkook, poised with a ping pong ball in hand and one eye closed as he aimed, was shooting towards the last cup at the opposite end of the table. The side of the table nearest to him still had all ten, which was the cause of all the noise. The boys were getting so hyped at winning a game without letting the other team get a chance to try that they were literally salivating at the mouth. You didn’t get the hype over games like this, but they were fun to watch nonetheless.

“Alright!” Jungkook yelled over the crowd, his words slurring a little bit. “If I make this fucking cup you motherfuckers are running a naked lap around this place!”

The crowd yelled, whooping and hollering at the thought of their own guy friends having to take their clothes off. Jimin, who was on the losing team, was shaking his head before Jungkook could finish his sentence. “I’m not fucking doing that. No way.”

“Scared of showing everyone your baby dick, Jiminie?” Taehyung teased.

Yujin was beside you at this point, leaning towards your ear to murmur, “Either way, I’m down to see it.”

You rolled your eyes, focusing back on Jungkook. He looked good—way better than you remembered. You two hadn’t seen each other in about a month, and despite the array of pictures he’d sent you during that time, nothing could compare to the sight in front of you. Although, you had to admit, he was more drunk that you’d ever seen him–his steps slurred and un-calculated, his speech dragging and his eyes glazed over all gave away the amount he’d had tonight before you got there.

Despite all of this, he launched the little white ball in his hand towards the other side of the table, his jaw squared in arrogance as it splashed into the cup with ease. An eruption of noise sounded, yells and screams and whoops with the guys all jumping up and down as Jungkook slapped Taehyung’s hand in congrats and returned high fives. A few were chanting “naked lap” over and over again but Jimin’s brow was furrowed in irritation, his eyebrows drawn together angrily as he yelled, “I’m not fucking doing it! I didn’t agree to that!”

Amidst the craziness, you felt Jungkook’s eyes somehow fall on yours, his expression equal parts surprised and giddy as his gaze raked over your entire body before coming to land back on your face. You gave him a small smile and a wave in return.

“Noona?”

He walked over, pushing through bodies to envelope you in a hug, his strong arms wrapping around your upper body and squishing your face to his chest. You breathed in the scent of his jacket, fighting the growing butterflies in your stomach with everything in you. It was just Jungkook. Why did seeing him in person after all this time make you so fucking nervous?

His leaned a little too much of his weight on you and you stumbled back a step, placing your hands on his chest to push him back up straight. “Jesus, kid, how much have you had?” you giggled. Yujin had disappeared to refill her cup and probably go see if Jimin was going to get naked, leaving you along with Jungkook in the foyer.

He smirked, cocking his head to the side. “Enough. I had to wait for your slow ass to get here!”

“It’s not my fault. The Uber driver got a flat!”

You moved to allow space at the table for a much quieter game of beer pong, pushing yourself into a corner with Jungkook standing in front of you.

“You left me hanging again,” he frowned, hiccuping slightly. “Now you owe me.”

“What do you want?” you asked, trying to ignore the fire erupting in your belly as Jungkook stared down at you with half-lidded eyes. The corner of his mouth twitched, and you knew the words that were going to come out before he even said them.

“A kiss.”

His breath smelled like alcohol and his cologne was overbearing due to his proximity, but it was all you could do not to reach up and grab the back of his head and smash his lips against yours. He placed one hand on the wall behind your head, effectively trapping you in his presence.

“Whaddya say, Noona?”

“I say,” you stalled, looking down at your cup, “I need some more drink.”

You went to duck under his arm but Jungkook was quick, moving his body to the side to block you. You cursed the wideness of shoulders and chest under your breath, hating the way your small frame was completely swallowed by his bigger one.

“You scared of me or something?” he taunted, smiling widely. “Come on.”

Your pulse was racing underneath your skin despite the irritation lacing your tone. “I’m not scared of some big, dumb freshman. Will you move?”

“Not until I get what I want.”

“Jungkook–”

“Just one little kiss?” he pleaded. “Don’t you wanna kiss me?”

“Stop asking questions! If you want a kiss, why don’t you just take it?” And stop making me make the decisions!

“Whoa, Noona. I mean, if that’s what you like, then I can,” he chuckled. “I just thought I would let you make the first—”

You reached up, interlocking your fingers in Jungkook’s hair to snatch him down to you and crush your lips against his. The kiss was angry—mostly because you didn’t want to be forced to kiss Jungkook like this, you wanted to do it on your own time and preferably when you’d had a few drinks—but he didn’t seem to mind in the least. He snaked his arms around your waist, pulling your chest against his and digging his fingers into your back as he tilted his head and closed his eyes. His tongue snaked into your mouth immediately, rolling against your own and filling your mouth with the taste of the many shots he’d had already. The kiss was warm and wet and messy and pretty hot, if you were being honest. You tugged on his hair to get him to pull away, tugging on his lip roughly with your teeth until it popped back against his own with a wet sound.

He smirked, but leaned down to press his against yours once more, this time softer and for just a few seconds—enough to leave your heart racing and a small sigh to escape from your lips. “Thanks.”

His eyes closed for a second too long and he swayed a little, pressing his forehead against yours to steady himself.

“Kook? You okay?”

As he pulled away from you he hiccuped a little, air passing through his nostrils as he breathed deeply and brought one hand up to cover his mouth. “I think—ugh—I think I gotta—”

He was tearing away from you then, stumbling through bodies until he was out the sliding doors in the kitchen that connected to the back porch, leaning over the railing to puke into the empty garden bed down below. You sat your cup on the counter as you rushed after him, your hand coming out to pat his back in small circles as he heaved up everything he had in his stomach.

“I’m glad there weren’t flowers down there,” you murmured, turning away from the sight below that was slowly but surely wafting its way up to your nostrils.

“Fuck the flowers—” Jungkook spat, just before another wave of puke rocketed itself out of his system. You winced. This was not at all how either of you had wanted this night to go, but you couldn’t help but be a little grateful at the situation. 

“What the hell?” Yujin asked, stepping outside at that moment and coming over to you two. “I left you alone for like fifteen minutes—wait, is that Jungkook? What a pussy!”

“Hey, fuck you!” Jungkook croaked, taking one hand off the railing to stick his middle finger up at Yujin behind him. You patted him on the back a few more times before reaching to snatch an unopened bottle of water from beside you on the railing.

“Drink this.”

Jungkook straightened, lifting a hand to wipe at his mouth before he swished some water around and spit it over the side of the deck. He was avoiding your eyes now, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight in front of you. Cocky Jungkook was probably gone now that he’d embarrassed himself in front of you.

“Why is it always me that gets stuck babysitting the weaklings?” you teased. “First Yujin last night, now you. When am I gonna get to have some fun?”

“I’ll give you some fun, alright,” he growled, looking at you from under his lashes as he crouched to sit with his back against the railing and sip his water.

You crossed your arms. “Sure you aren’t too sick for that?”

“I’m never too sick to dominate you, since that’s your kink.” He grinned up at you in a way that had you narrowing your eyes. “Right, Noona?”

“Okay, ew,” Yujin said, rolling her eyes. “On another less disgusting note, they’re trying to get every one to go home. There’s a rumor that someone called the cops.”

Jungkook groaned. “I’ve gotta get out of here, then.” When you and Yujin looked down at him blankly he added, “I’m underage?”

“Oh yeah, shit.” You pulled out your phone to order a ride but the prices were skyrocketed since it was so late at night. “Fuck, it’s like twenty-five dollars right now!”

“Where are Jimin and Taehyung? If we round them up that’s like five bucks a person.” 

While Yujin disappeared back inside to find them, you crouched down beside Jungkook, making sure there were no bits of sick on the porch before you sat down. “You feeling better?”

“Kind of.” He shrugged. “I wish you’d gotten here earlier.”

“Me too. It’s more fun to get wasted together,” you grinned. “Well, except I don’t get wasted ‘cause I’m a pro.”

“Oh really? I recall seeing you plenty of times where you looked pretty wasted on Snap.”

You batted your eyelashes at him. “Not me? You must have me mistaken with some rookie who can’t hold their alcohol!”

“Whatever. Next time we’ll get here and drink at the same time, okay?” 

“For sure. There will be tons of parties before the end of the semester.”

In addition to that, plenty of more time with Jungkook. And plenty more chances for him to cash in on your promise–which you tried not to think about too much in order to keep the heat from settling into your belly again. 

As if he knew what you were thinking, he added in a low voice, “Yup. And lots of opportunities to get you alone.”

As if his hormones knew no boundaries, his eyes instantly darkened, his tongue coming out to swipe at his bottom lip as he stared into your eyes. You had to look away first to calm your racing heart and find something else to focus on. 

Man, were you screwed. 

[bakasonyeondan]

Twisted | pt.1 (m)

Being so isolated from society, you never imagined that you were going to meet a person like Yoongi and let him devastate your whole life like an hurricane. But you didn’t mind it at all.

Words:+6.8  ||  Genre: BadBoy!Yoongi/Angst/ (Soon) Smut

Losing somebody is something we hope not to experience, at least not too early. We don’t want to lose a dear friend, a puppy or somebody of our family. We are afraid to feel empty or to feel hurt after the loss. In most cases - when the loss is of somebody we truly love - we deny their death.

That was how you first reacted when your mother died. You didn’t believe it at first because she was your mother, why she would leave you? It was her responsibility to take care of you and love you because besides her, who was going to take care of you?

You didn’t cry at her funeral. You denied to yourself that the woman inside the coffin - wearing a black dress and looking like a sleeping beauty – was your mother. You didn’t shed a tear when they buried her or even when a wave of strangers in black gave their condolences to you and your father.

“She’s only five years old and she already lost her mother” they whispered when they thought you weren’t listening or too stupid to understand them. But when you heard them, you answered them by saying “My mom is not dead. She’ll come back from her trip”.

You didn’t even cry when you came home and saw your father crying for the first time that day while holding one of your mother’s favourite dresses. You ran towards him and hugged him, the only thing you could do. You cried only days later when you realized that your mother wasn’t coming back from what you thought was a really long trip. You cried for hours until your father came home and saw you in a pool of tears. He tried to comfort you, telling you that everything was going to be okay, even without your mother. In that moment, you first realized the emptiness inside you and how you were going to live your life without your mother who used to protect you from anything. You started to have panic attacks when there were too many people around you or when you were left alone in a room full of people you didn’t know. You didn’t let anyone touch you or talk to you if it wasn’t your father. You cried and ran away from people, trying to find an empty area where to stay and calm yourself. The situation got worst when one day at nursery school they didn’t you find for hours. They found you only when the sun started to set in the horizon hidden in a closet where they used to put all the old toys.

After that event, your father sent you to a psychiatrist, to help you go through the shock of the loss and try to make you more open to people but it didn’t really work. You continued to isolate yourself from everyone and it seemed like there wasn’t any cure for you.

During your first year of elementary school, you had a lot of difficulties at making friends. You didn’t want to talk to anyone and you were scared of being left alone without your father or your nanny. But besides having troubles at making friends, you were a child prodigy and you didn’t make any trouble like any kid of your age would do. You weren’t whimsical like most of the kids and you didn’t run around all the time. You were always where your teacher asked you to stay and you wouldn’t try to go against her. You preferred to play alone, even when other kids asked you to play with them. You just stayed there by yourself with your toys or, most of the time, a book.

Most of the kids’ parents always complimented you by saying “You’re such a good girl” or “How I wish my son was like you” and they always complained about their kids by saying “She screams all the time and sometimes I can’t stand her” or “He doesn’t listen to me like her”. But, kids at your school got jealous for being praised by the elders so they decided to stay away from you and sometimes make fun of you. You never said anything, especially to your father.

Every time your father heard of how well behaved you were at school, he always complimented you and said how proud he was to have you as his daughter. He was the CEO of a really important company, so he didn’t have a lot of time to dedicate for you. But he gave you gifts from the countries he visited that you happily accepted. However, you were happy enough to have his attention and time; it was always fun to spend time with him and your smile was finally back thanks to him. But your time with your father was always limited. He was busy with leading the company, travelling for work and finding you a “new mom”. He thought that by having a female figure in your life who could in some way replace your mother, it would make you feel more comfortable to be more social with people. However, you didn’t want one. In some way, you were happy with what you had. You didn’t want anyone else in your life. But, that’s not how it went.

When you first attended middle school, he got married with a woman you hated with all your heart. She obviously got married with your father just to have access to his bank account and live the perfect life surrounded by money. She was perfect in your father’s eyes, she was the devil in yours.  

In your father’s presence, she was the perfect wife. She would make dinner and compliment you saying “Dear, do you know that our lovely [Y/N] got a perfect score in her last test?” or “Honey, our daughter is so pretty” and at that comment you would always say “I’m not your daughter” which was followed by a disapproval gaze from your father. But, you knew more.

When your father wasn’t around, she turned into the devil itself. She was selfish, fake and everything negative in this world. She didn’t hide her hate for you and you did the same. You tried your best to avoid her but it was quite difficult when you were living in the same house, when she was your stepmother and especially your father’s new wife.

Making your father proud of you was your main goal; you wanted to be his perfect daughter and be at the same level of his expectations because it was the only way he noticed you beside his work and his so perfect new “wife”. You worked hard at school and always had good grades. You did sports and played the piano like you were born for it. You wanted your father to know that you weren’t going to be a problem to him and especially you wanted him to trust you and be his right hand in everything like your mother used to be before she died. Not like your step-mother.

However, growing up, your life didn’t go like you wanted. Your father continued to stay more with his new wife than you, probably forgetting to have a daughter that was trying to do anything possible to making him notice her. You still wanted to be the perfect daughter you told yourself to be but, you wanted somebody by your side. But it wasn’t as simple as you imagined.

You were an introvert person and you always isolated yourself from people. You thought that they were a distraction and all the adults around you didn’t really push you to be more social with people of your age. You stayed most of the time at home studying or with a tutor your father hired to make you study more.

However, when you became a teenager, you felt jealous of all the girls with their friends going out and have fun together while you were at home surrounded by books and objects and not people. You finally wanted to have a friend. But it wasn’t easy. You were shy and most of the time you didn’t really know how to keep up a conversation with a person. Most of the students avoided you, thinking that you were a weirdo. Or, just because you were teachers’ favourite and they didn’t want to have anything with you. You tried to interact with them, you really did, but they pushed you away thinking why you – the silent and creepy girl of the class – wanted to talk with them, and you just gave up at making friends. Until the end of middle school, the only company you had was a book, your homework and a pair of headphones constantly plugged in your phone blasting with high volume music. Probably also the bullies at school who always made prank on you because you were the easy target. You always thought “They’ll stop one day, they’ll get bored of me because I’m not giving any good reaction to crave more. One day, middle school will finish.” But it wasn’t like you wished.

The bullies were also in your high school. They continued to stalk you around school, making fun of you and giving you stupid nicknames. Maybe they would throw you water and flour, making you go home all soaked and dirty. But you still continued doing nothing to stop them. You just hoped every single day that they would stop. You accepted how your life was going. But, you never know when something happen and can change your life.

One day, your tutor couldn’t make it to your lesson for health reasons and she sent her son. You were quite confused when you saw in your living room a guy not a lot older than you instead of the usual middle-aged woman that used to tutor you. He introduced himself by saying “I’m Yoongi and yes I’m going to be your tutor for today. So, don’t waste my time and let’s just finish this bullshit as fast as we can”. You were taken aback from the way he introduced himself but you still said nothing. You didn’t share any words to each other but you silently observed him.

You remember your old tutor telling you something like she had a son around your age. She always complained about what a troublemaker he was and how much stress he gave her. You observed him and the first thing you noticed were his tattoos around his body. The ones that caught your eyes first were probably the black roses on his chest which almost touched his neck. He looked like the typical rebellious son that wanted to go against his parents. He didn’t even look like somebody who was able to solve an equation, so you were confused about his presence there.

“If you’re doubting about my skills, then stop. People underrate me just because I have tattoos here and there but I’m more clever than what you can imagine” he said. He opened your math book and gave you a few equations to solve. You started solving them but - a few minutes after - you saw him sleeping on top of the book. You quickly finished them and in some way you found yourself lost at analysing him. He was wearing a quarter-sleeve black shirt with a low-cut neckline which showed his tattoos but beside the roses on his chest, you noticed a few more tattoos like a butterfly on top of his hand and a geometric figure in the inner part of his forearm. He had his ears pierced and he also had a lip piercing. You started to question how he got through the pain of all the tattoos and the braveness he had to cover himself in tattoos. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice how fast time flew and him waking up.

“Am I that handsome that you can’t look away from me?” He teased you with a big smirk on his face. You looked away from him and said nothing while your cheeks started to slowly blush. “My mother told me that you’re a person of a few words.” He took your notebook and started to check on it while you were playing with your fingers trying to calm your nerves. Why were you so nervous suddenly?

“Everything is correct. Why do you even need a tutor?” He asked you but you didn’t reply, you just shrugged your shoulders. He gave you a few more exercises to do and he explained you a few math rules that you already knew but you didn’t have the courage to stop him, not that you didn’t mind listening to his voice. While you were doing your exercises, you saw him walking around the room. He observed everything around the room – from the big chandelier hanging in the center of the room and all the decors your step-mother decided to put. He then noticed the big piano at one corner.

“Do you play it?” He asked you. You just nodded. He approached it slowly trying to observe every single detail on it like he was enchanted by it. “Can I play it?” You nodded again, curious at what he was going to play. He sat on the bench and in a few seconds he started to play it. It was a beautiful melody that you played when you were little, it was one of your favourite and you found yourself lost in the music. But that perfect moment was ruined when your step-mother came down the stairs and saw the two of you. She stared at Yoongi and you noticed that she was pulling on her most charming smile. However, Yoongi wasn’t affected by it.

“And you are?” She asked while blinking her too-long fake lashes to charm him.

He didn’t reply straight away, quite annoyed of her presence but he politely said his name.

“What a beautiful name. I hope you treat our [Y/N] well” she said while lending her hand to him. He shook his hand with hers but she took advantage of that moment to approach him; she whispered something to his ear and you could see the shock on his face but his emotionless expression came back in a few seconds. You saw her grinning and when she finally finished she left the room going outside, probably to the pool to sunbathe, leaving the two of you alone. You saw her walking around the board of the pool until she reached her deckchair. She undressed herself staying only with her bikini exposing her fake boobs to the world. Something you were used to see since when she got married with your father. You still wondered how your father was able to marry her.

You turned away from her sight and looked at Yoongi who was still there sitting on the bench of the piano but looking at your step-mother. Inside you, you hoped that he was going to be under her spell like most of the men you met.

Yoongi continued to be your tutor for a while instead of her mother and you discovered he wasn’t what you expected. He cursed maybe a little too much, he wasn’t as patient as his mother, he was most of the time late for your lessons - at least an hour late - he took a lot of “breaks” just to go outside and smoke too many cigarettes, he took a lot of naps on your math book or on the couch, but you still let him do it.

He was very different from the usual people you were used to. Beside people from school, you were used to rich people talking about money or everything involved with their possessions, always showing what they had to the world. They always talked about useless stuff and they looked always so empty. You were used to people who were well-mannered, always trying to show how perfect they were, hiding who they truly were.

After a while, you got used to Yoongi’ s presence. You started to get used to him sleeping while you were doing your homework and that was always a good chance to observe him. You were captivated by the aura he emitted, you wanted to ask him questions that you never dared to ask to anyone else. Yoongi was different. He was silent and introvert like you but he still had a strong aura around him, unlike yourself. He was more lay-down and chill and he was trying his best to mask who he truly was. He was honest with you and it was something you missed from the few people you knew.

And maybe it was for his appearance – he looked very cool and strong – and maybe because he looked like the usual bad boy riding a motorcycle and ready for a new adventure or trouble too, but you couldn’t take your eyes away from him. He was interesting, different from everyone you had known.

However, you never dared to talk in his presence. He probably got used to your silence because he started to ask you questions which required only a yes or a no as a reply, in that way you just nodded or shook your head. He didn’t talk that much either but after a while he started to open up a little bit. When he was awake from his naps or when he wasn’t outside smoking, he would talk to you about his life. He talked more about random things like “College is so useless” or “You know, I started play the piano when I was little as well. It has always been my biggest passion” or even “Yesterday I went to a party and everyone was so wasted. I couldn’t even stand up.” He told you that when he came three hours late because you had a really bad hangover from the night before. But you would always just smile or let out a small giggle from his stories.

The very first time you talked to him happened when for the first time ever he arrived on time at one of your lessons. You were already in the living room with your books and notebooks when he entered the room extremely excited. You didn’t really know why he was so energetic – he was most of the time lethargic and sleepy – so it was strange to see him so alive.

“[Y/N], you can’t understand my happiness. My favourite artist just dropped a new album!” He said with a gummy smile you never saw before “And guess who skipped school just to buy the album exactly at 10AM at the biggest CD store of the city? ME!” And he showed you the CD that had been in his hand. You smiled, happy for him and also because it was his first time being so content in front of you.

“We need to listen to it! Right now!” He announced. He looked around the room, looking for a CD player and when he saw it near the Tv he set it in and pushed play. From the speakers came out a hip hop beat and you saw him moving his head at the beat. When the song finished, he stood up from his sitting position and shouted “This is the best song ever!” He did the same exact thing for all the songs in the album.  

Beside watching him fanboying over one his favourite artists, you listened carefully to the songs and you quite enjoyed them. It wasn’t your cup of tea because it wasn’t the music you were used to listen to but you really liked. And it was in that moment, for the first time you met him that you spoke.

“I-It’s really cool” you muttered very low. It was barely audible and you weren’t shocked when he turned around confuse. He said “What?” And you were wondering for a few seconds if you had to repeat what you said or just stayed silent like nothing happened. You were tempted for the latest option, however you wanted to do something different.

“Th-The a-album is really c-cool” you mumbled again but it was enough for him to hear for the first your voice and process the fact that you finally spoke. It took him almost a full minute to realise that you really spoke after months of being together.

“Oh my god! But you speak!” He exclaimed surprised and ran to you to hug you. You were taken aback from that sudden physical contact – that you always tried to avoid with people – and when he wrapped his arms around you, you didn’t really know how to react from his affection. You awkwardly wrapped your arms around his waist and gently pat his back. You stayed like that for a while and with time passing, you got comfortable in his arms. You felt warm and secure and you were about to get intoxicated by his cologne. It was in that moment that you started to feel things you never you imagined to have, especially for someone like him.

You got closer as time passed. You started to let out a few more words other than just nodding at him. You started to have full conversations, where he wasn’t the only one talking between the two of you. You discovered that he was in his first year of college – he hated it – and he was thinking to drop everything and start his music career with a few of his friends but he didn’t have the money and the connections to start. He didn’t have the best relationship with his parents – they didn’t accept his passion for music – but he still wanted to show them that he could do it. That was why he was there tutoring you and trying to gain more money by doing part-time jobs here and there.

You enjoyed those moments where he talked to you freely, without any hesitation, like he truly trusted you. You really liked those moments and cherished them. However, they were often ruined with another person’s presence.

Your stepmother - when she wasn’t outside spending all your father’s money in stupid expensive things - she always walked by the living room to bother you every time Yoongi was there. She would smile at him and he would just look at her but it was enough to know that he was – deep inside – interested in her. And every time they shared a look, you felt something inside of you, something bad that you hoped not to feel again. After a while, her smile was replaced by touches on his arms and whispers at his ears. At first, he avoided her but he couldn’t deny his attraction for her. Who wouldn’t deny the interest of a hot woman? No one with a dick and testosterones or interested in women would deny her efforts. But you still hoped that Yoongi wasn’t like everyone else.

You knew what your stepmother whispered to him every single time. She always promised a lustful night which was paid with a lot – and I repeat a lot – of money. He wasn’t the first one attracted by what she promised, and he wasn’t the first one she wanted in her bed beside your father. The only difference between your father and all the guys who accepted to spend a night with her was that she would be in command that night. The guys always had to follow her orders and let her do everything she wanted on them. You saw guys with bruises all over their bodies or others who almost weren’t able to walk. Some brave ones wanted to denounce them but they didn’t have enough money like her. And you? Why didn’t you do anything for those guys? Even though, you despised your stepmother, you knew that she was kind of clever. She would always find a way to show that she was innocent and you weren’t going to risk that small amount of trust from your father. You were just waiting for the right moment.

You hoped that Yoongi wasn’t going to be another of her toys, you hoped that he wasn’t going to accept all the nasty things she was going to order him. You didn’t him to get hurt and be used by a woman like your stepmother. But, all your prayers were useless.

One night, you went downstairs to drink a glass of water with your ears covered with your earphones, avoiding all the nasty noises your stepmother was making. You imagined that it was another guy she hired to do a few “jobs” for her but when you saw him leaving your stepmother’s bedroom shirtless, you were shocked. You couldn’t help but to gasp and let your glass fall in the sink. He was walking down the stairs when he finally saw you looking at him. You noticed a few hickeys on his neck, scratches and bruises on his chest. You shared for a couple of seconds a look and you didn’t know why but you were feeling your eyes got watery.

“Y-Yoongi” you whispered and you didn’t notice your voice cracking “Please don’t tell me that you really did it. She’s insane.” He could read the disappointment in your eyes, that was why when he was about to open his mouth and say something, nothing escaped from him. He then just walked away, leaving you there shocked and maybe heartbroken.

Your tutoring sessions started to be unbearable. You couldn’t look at him for a few seconds without feeling a pang in your heart. You know that he wasn’t your boyfriend or anything but you still felt somehow betrayed. You really hoped that your stepmother wasn’t going to have eyes on him but as unlucky as you were, fate was against you.

You were back not talking to him. You only nodded or shook your head at his questions, without daring to look at him directly. Every time your session finished, you would run to your room without saying bye to him. You felt hurt and you didn’t want to admit why. You have always been so good at controlling your feelings. You didn’t want to feel hurt again like in the past.

You continued like that until one day, you could notice how frustrated he was. He walked in the room in a very bad mood that he almost crushed his phone on the floor. You didn’t exactly know why he was livid, that was why you decided to ignore him. Probably not the best option.

“Can you tell me why you’re not talking again?” He asked but in a really annoyed way. His tone was already hinting you to that he wasn’t in the mood for your small whim but you were stubborn - and stupid - enough to not even looking at him from your notebooks and just continued your things.

You heard his breaths got heavier and you slowly understood that the situation was going in a really bad way. It was when you he said “Are you mad because I had sex with your stepmother?” that you finally looked at him with a scowl on your face.

‘’Are you seriously mad because of that? Are you that stupid?’’ You shushed him by putting your index finger in front of your lips, telling him to stop talking about that because she was upstairs. But he didn’t take the message very well. “I don’t fucking care if she hears or not. I want to fucking know why are you not talking to me’’ he said furious. But you still didn’t talk and continued your exercise. But your notebook was brutally thrown on the floor.

’‘Talk for fuck sake!” And for a moment you feared him. He was rude but he had never been aggressive towards you. He always maintained his calm but in that moment he wasn’t his usual self. You gulped and you were thinking on  what to say to calm him down. However, you didn’t want your mask to fall. You wanted to be still mad and not let him know your feelings. You stayed silence, looking at him directly in the eyes. After a few seconds, he let out a scoff.

“You know what? Why the hell do I even care to know what you think?” He said while letting out a sorrow laugh “You’re just a rich bitch who thinks she’s better than anyone else.” You looked at him with a confused and hurt face. He never dared to say anything bad about you, in front of you at least. “I can fuck whoever I want without giving a shit about what people think. I can have sex with people a lot hotter than you.Do you really think that I care for you? Just because we spent some time together, doesn’t mean that we are something. You don’t know me. And if I want to fuck somebody, even if it’s your stepmother or for money, I’ll do it because I can do whatever I want. You’re such a spoiled girl. You don’t talk to people because you think of them as trash, am I wrong?” You were still shocked that he dared to say those things about you. Every single word he said slowly started to sink in and they made you feel like shit. You were probably used to hear things like that at school by your bullies but you never cared of what they thought about you. But hearing them from a person you truly liked, the first one you deeply cared, were like a thousands knives that stabbed you every single time. You really hoped that he was going to stay in your life. You really did. That was why a tear slowly started to roll down your cheek, and many more followed. You looked down, too weak to keep looking at him.

“I don’t know why you are saying things like that but I-If you really think that I’m what you say, you’re free to leave any moment. My father is going to pay you as soon as possible” You whispered. You kept your eyes on your hands, not daring to look at him. You heard him staying there for a while until he just left the house and probably your life.

You ran to your room and cried like when you were five years old. The feeling of losing someone was back and you truly couldn’t handle it again.

Yoongi stopped tutoring you. His mother came back instead of him and everything seemed like it was like before you met him. You continued to live your life: school - bullies included - home with an annoying stepmother and an almost forgotten father and your studies.

However, Yoongi continued to visit your stepmother. One night, when you woke up for her disgusting moans from the other part of the house, you saw Yoongi’ s pick-up parked in front of your house. You hoped that it wasn’t him who was in your stepmother’s room and that it was probably another guy with the same pick-up but when all the noises stopped, in a few minutes you saw Yoongi’ s figure leaving your house and drove away from your home. You didn’t dare to stop him, even though you wished that he’d stop. You knew he was trying to get more money just to start with his dream but that wasn’t the right way to do so. He wasn’t only hurting himself by continuing it.

The following week, your father finally came back after a long business trip. But, as happy as you were for his return, you couldn’t bring yourself to smile when you saw him walking in your house. You hugged him and whispered to his ear 'Welcome back dad’ but you couldn’t stand to see your father making out with your stepmother in front of you. You then walked away and went to your room but your father stopped you in the middle of the stairs.

“ [Y/N] where are you going?” He asked, still clicked to her. You didn’t turn around but just answered “To my room” and continued for your way but you were still able to hear your stepmother saying “She’s not behaving very well, in this period.” Inside of you, you really wanted to shout at her everything you kept inside for so long. But, you weren’t brave enough to do so, especially in front of your father. But things got worst.

Your father wanted to have dinner all together. You usually ate by yourself before them but he insisted and you – as the good daughter you were – followed his request.

At first, you ate in silence. Your father and stepmother talked about things you weren’t interested in and you weren’t that hungry so you were mostly playing with the food in front of you.

“Aren’t you hungry, darling?” You looked up from your plate to look in front of you where your stepmother sat. She was smiling at you, the fakest smile you ever saw in your entire life. You controlled yourself and just shook your head.

“I’ll go to my room” you announced when you felt that the situation was unbearable to handle. But your father stopped you.

“You barely ate anything. You should eat more” he insisted but you just shook your head. You were about to leave the room when your stepmother decided to make the worst decision of her life.

“Our dear [Y/N] is heart-broken, you know?” Your stepmother suddenly said. You frowned at her, trying to understand where she wanted to go with what she was saying. You saw your father do the same but this time at you. “What are you talking about?” He asked confused.

“You know, she has a big crush on a guy who used to tutor her. It’s Mrs Min’s son” she said and you didn’t know how you were able to control your body from smashing her face on the plate in front of her. Maybe it was the glacial gaze your father gave you when he understood who she was talking about. “That gangster guy that goes around making troubles?” He asked furious.

“D-Dad ” you tried to say but he didn’t give you the chance to talk.

“[Y/N] how can you like someone like him? He causes only troubles, he goes to bed with every girl he sees and his manners are the worst in the world, do you want to be one of them? I can’t even imagine how many disappointments he gives to his parents every day” he shouted at you. He usually wasn’t the type to shout at people, he was quite calm, but he was really mad in that moment. However, you were hurt that he was talking about Yoongi – a person you truly cared about even though you weren’t talking anymore to each other.

“Stop talking like that about him, dad” you said with a voice you never knew you had. You were angry and you were about to let out all the feelings you kept inside.

“Are you trying to deny what I’m saying? I saw him, [Y/N], and I know he’s not good news” he continued to say but you got enough of it.

“I said stop!” You shouted for the first time to him. Your breaths were heavy and your eyes almost watery. “He’s not what you think he is.”

But he was probably a lot angrier than you “How dare you to speak like that to me?”

It was enough for you to finally let out everything you had inside “And how dare you to marry a woman like her without even telling me?” You shouted back with tears finally rolling down your face. It was your first time after years that you let people saw you crying. “How can you marry her, spend all your time and money on her when you can’t even see your daughter that is waiting for her father to notice her? I don’t want your money, I don’t want more meaningless gifts just to fulfill the emptiness you gave me since you married her. Do you even know what kind of person she is?” You said pointing your finger at your stepmother who was there, looking impassive and maybe a little amused by the whole situation even though she still didn’t understand your plan.

“What are you trying to say? She’s your stepmother and you have to accept that!” He shouted back a at you.

“Do I have to accept the fact that she’s having sex with other men while you’re gone?” You finally confessed and you took a moment to enjoy that second of freedom from confessing a secret you wanted to say for too long “And that among those men there is my crush too? He cannot be the best person in this world, I get that, but she knew this whole time that I had feelings for him but do you know what she did? She lured him to her bed and had sex with him while I was at home hearing them having sex. And worst, she used him as her sex toy, doing awful stuff that you don’t even want to know about. Yes, maybe I don’t have the best taste in men but I think it’s genetic?” You took another moment to appreciate her shocked expression from your revelation. And you couldn’t hide the mischievous smirk you had on your face because you were having so much fun from finally revealing her true self to your father.

“Honey, she’s-” she tried to say but you didn’t give her time to say anything else because you wanted to end everything in that moment. All the moments you got hurt because of her. You wanted to end all those moments.

“Do you really want me to replace my mom with a woman like her?” And in that moment you thought, why did you keep all those things to yourself? Why didn’t you tell to your father about all the affairs she had earlier? Why didn’t you have the courage to spit out everything and be for one time the evil one of the whole situation? Because for the first time in your life, being bad felt so good. And you imagined, why not continuing it with all the people that made you feel the same way?

[boardwalk-absurdist]

All the numbers! 😊

Aaahhh thank you~ I haven’t done one of these in forever but I love them, so let’s go (under the cut)!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee mugs~ I have one standard reliable water bottle that I carry with me, but I love me a clever/cute coffee mug.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate bars, natch.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy~

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Usually stuff like energetic, bubbly, and smart. They used to say gifted but around 4th grade they weren’t allowed to say that anymore.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? None of the above, I don’t drink soda. The bubbles hurt my tongue.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh man this is an eternal struggle tbh. I think I usually dress a bit more grunge or boho, but I want to be pastel and goth as well? The others I could take or leave.

7. earbuds or headphones? Earbuds, as long as they aren’t those Skullcandy kind with the squishy part that you jam in your ear canal. I hate those.

8. movies or tv shows? Depends on my mood and how much time I have.

9. favorite smell in the summer? This may be weird, but like…sun sweat? You know when you’re laying out comfortably in the sunshine and there’s a nice breeze and you sweat a lil but it’s like just warm? Also the ocean, I love the beach but I live nowhere near one.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? Uh, avoid competitive people as much as possible by running in the opposite direction from the ball? Walk laps rather than play the game? I did not like gym class.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Nothin’. Sometimes I’ll have a donut or poptarts or pain au chocolat but usually it’s a lotta nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? “Players musicals”, a spotify playlist with songs from the 4 musicals my college theatre group did while I was there. Or on my iTunes, I have one called “Power Up” that is all my pump-up jams.

13. lanyard or key ring? …both? I have a keyring on my lanyard.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Ooh, the Haribo gummy frogs. With like the white part on the bottom? Idk what that shit is but I love it.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I know it’s a play but we did read it, and I loved it. Alternatively, maybe Brave New World? I found that one fascinating.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Curled up sideways in an armchair or with my legs thrown over one arm and my back against the other.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? In the summer, I always pick one pair of sandals with a fun pattern so I get cool tan lines on my feet. Otherwise, Merrell Mocs 5evr.

18. ideal weather? Sunny and dry, maybe with a light breeze, and in the mid- to high-70s. Either that or clear, sunny, and between 15 and -15 for like a perfectly brisk day.

19. sleeping position? I usually sleep on my side with my top leg flung out so I’m like half on my stomach. But I can’t actually sleep on my stomach cuz I have titties and they are Not Comfortable.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Literally anywhere and on anything. I doodle and write on p much any surface I am given.

21. obsession from childhood? …uh. There were several. But I guess Jerry Lewis was the biggie/most embarrassing.

22. role model? That’s a tough one. Probably Bonnie Bassler.

23. strange habits? I eat most foods around the outside and save the center for last. Like poptarts, waffles, sandwiches… I also have a tic where whenever I have my car in neutral I jiggle the stick shift back and forth to like prove to myself that I am in neutral. I’m sure there are more that I’m unaware of that I just think are normal, so hey, if you know me irl and you know of a weird habit that I missed, send it my way.

24. favorite crystal? Idk. Does tiger’s eye count? It’s my favorite semi-precious stone.

25. first song you remember hearing? LORDT I have no idea, probably a Bruce Springsteen song.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Lay in the sunshine. Or swim outside.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Play in the snow.

28. five songs to describe you? These are more songs describing what it feels like to be me, but: “Fear and Loathing” and “Teen Idle” by Marina and the Diamonds, “I Wanna Get Better” by Bleachers, “Yo Girl” from Heathers, aaaand “Carmen” by Lana Del Rey.

29. best way to bond with you? Work on a show together.

30. places that you find sacred? Difficult to say. I guess anywhere that feels like a liminal space.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Ooh okay so I have this black cropped sleeveless hoodie that says “never trust the living” on a tombstone and has a skull, I like to pair that with some burgundy high-waisted short shorts and tights with embroidered skulls and butterflies. Then those go with my platform black and white sneakers or my 6 inch platform boots with flames on the heels.

32. top five favorite vines? rOaD wOrK aHeAd?; I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN; …wow; “little diddy”; and either happy crismus or WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY

33. most used phrase in your phone? Probably “fair enough”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? “if you needed brain surgery, would you go to a general practitioner? No? THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL BUYING FISH FROM THE GENERAL STORE” fishtopia may finally be dead but that fucking commercial lives on

35. average time you fall asleep? Like midnight?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? I can has cheezburger?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. If it’s just for a few days, duffel bag. But I prefer to travel with a suitcase for anything longer than a week.

38. lemonade or tea? Lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Uh I guess lemon cake?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Oh! One time this girl tackled this dude allegedly cuz he wouldn’t share his beef jerky. The school was put on a code yellow while the security guard separated them.

41. last person you texted? Myself, to send some gel pictures from my phone to my laptop.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets. I have shitty girl pants pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? why must you hurt me in this way. I have a denim jacket that I adore, so I guess that one? But I really appreciate the aesthetic of bomber jackets.

44. favorite scent for soap? Irish Spring. am cermet

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? I guess sci-fi.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? I sleep in my underwear.

47. favorite type of cheese? Cheddar or Gruyere.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? No clue. Strawberry, maybe?

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “Once you’re in it, it’s okay.” - This is How, Augusten Burroughs Alternatively, “How unlikely! Yet here we are.” - Spaceman of Bohemia, Jaroslav Kalfar 

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? An inside joke with the Brit, I think. 

51. current stresses? oh the thousands

52. favorite font? Currently I’m really feeling Book Antiqua.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Uh, fine? Clean? My nails are Ready for some new polish.

54. what did you learn from your first job? How to scoop ice cream.

55. favorite fairy tale? I don’t think I have one.

56. favorite tradition? So in my family, we have a routine for putting up the tree (we have a fake tree that we use every year). My dad puts the tree together, my mom rearranges and bends the branches to make it look more realistic, my dad puts the lights on, and then my little brother and I decorate it with all the ornaments. It’s a lot of fun and my favorite part of Christmas.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? An abusive relationship, getting help for depression/anxiety, and my mom’s attempted suicide.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? I’m a p good writer, a decent swimmer, I can do cross-stitch/needlepoint, and I am very good at taking tests/learning.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? “Eat an entire ass.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Slice of life goofy high school comedy. Like Ouran, or the lighter parts of Fruits Basket.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? There’s a line in @scifigrl47‘s fic “Hollow Your Bones like a Bird’s” that has really stuck with me over the years: “It is the farthest from death that I can get, to decide, second by second, not to jump.” In a similar vein, the line “I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spat it out” from the original Avengers movie really made an impression. On a funnier note, the lines “I’ve frequently not been on boats” and “One can hardly eat cucumber sandwiches in an agitated manner” from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and The Importance of Being Earnest respectively never fail to make me laugh.

62. seven characters you relate to? Lordt that is so many. Okay. Alissa Meson from the Truth series, Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place, Lee Fiora from Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket, Shiloh Wallace from Repo! The Genetic Opera, Augusten Burroughs in his memoirs (not technically a character but I relate so hard), and Bo Burnham’s stage persona (it COUNTS dammit).

63. five songs that would play in your club? “1, 2, Step” - Ciara, “Night Fever” - The BeeGees, “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” - Journey, “Chelsea Dagger” - The Fratellis, and “Damn You Look Good And I’m Drunk (Scandalous)” - Cobra Starship

64. favorite website from your childhood? Quizilla, RIP

65. any permanent scars? Several on my hands (they used to be cat scratches but I picked at them so much they scarred up), two punctures from my cat biting me on my right inner forearm, and one biggun on my left asscheek from when I fell out of a tree and had to get 6 stitches.

66. favorite flower(s)? Poppies, lavender, fireweed, and forget-me-nots.

67. good luck charms? Not really? I have jewelry that I wear every day but that’s more a habit/ritual rather than for luck.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? LORDT okay so I worked at an ice cream shop two summers in a row, right? There was this DISGUSTING cranberry stout flavor, and a p gross ginger one, plus every time someone ordered a weird milkshake we’d make a little extra so we could try some. One time someone got like a large stout (the regular, not the cranberry, which was still nasty) and pumpkin milkshake with malt. It was horrid.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes as much pressure to bite through a human finger as it does to bite through a carrot.

70. left or right handed? Rightie.

71. least favorite pattern? Uh. I guess paisley? It doesn’t really do anything for me.

72. worst subject? Organic chemistry or physics.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Oooh so nutella and honey is DELIGHTFUL if you’ve never tried it. Also those parmesan bread bites from Dominos taste real good dunked in the icing that comes with the cinnamon twists.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? Like a 4 or 5.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I genuinely do not recall.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Scalloped potatoes with cheese.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? Idk I kill all my plants. I have a lil sempervivum that I’ve kept alive for a few months though~

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery store sushi.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Lmao they both are bad but I’ll say driver’s license.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Are they not the same thing? I call them fireflies.

82. pc or console? PC. I grew up without a console so I lack the intuitive understanding of their control mechanisms that most people seem to have.

83. writing or drawing? Writing.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Barbie I guess?

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology.

86. cookies or cupcakes? …cookies.

87. your greatest fear? Disappointing people who took a chance on me.

88. your greatest wish? If I tell you, it won’t come true.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My little brother.

90. luckiest mistake? Not applying for summer internships. Instead I just talked to the one microbiology professor and she offered me a summer job in her lab and it’s because of her that I’m at the school I’m at for grad school and have experience and all that.

91. boxes or bags? Uh. Bags I guess? Easier to carry.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlight.

93. nicknames? My parents call me Squirrelle. Some people call me T (my real name starts with a T).

94. favorite season? Spring, I think. It’s so nice to come back out of the cold.

95. favorite app on your phone? I guess fb messenger, I use it the most.

96. desktop background? It’s a colored collage of Jareth and Sarah from pika-la-cynique’s “Girls Next Door” massive crossover series on dA.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? I dunno, like a handful? Some are totally useless.

98. favorite historical era? Probably the 80s.

[writingdumpster-o]

it all starts with me having an explosive fight with my family and going to work against their wishes

then at 8pm everyone's going home (I noticed irl that Douaïb tends to be last in his floor to leave) and I'm going to the bottom floor (just below Douaïb's) to grab my lunch box. And I'm kind of dragging my feet cause I've already resolved myself to not go home and I'm too proud to ask Maria (who lives alone with her brother) to crash at her place

so the bottom floor is the cafeteria and stuff and I'm like "huh maybe I could do with a cigarette before leaving" so I stay outside and light one and smoke it with a hot chocolate from the coffee machine

and he comes down and we have a conversation, it's 20:45 by now everyone's gone even the work transportation, and he's surprised to find me (as much as I'm surprised to find him) and we have an easy conversation that's of the normal type

he asks what I'm still doing there and I say my ride isn't here yet, hoping he'd leave and let me fend for myself on my damn own. I'm already planning on staying in the nap room for the night (there's a nap room that has plugs and a TV and ottomans you can press together to make a bed)

so the first night I spend in the nap room, normal, I somehow manage to avoid guards and maids but one thing i wasn't able to avoid was security cameras, so next morning HR tell me that they won't sanction it but they'll need me to find a place other than work to sleep. I hide the event from everyone and go pick up my bag (I brought my backpack and a duffel bag that's supposed to be for my workout gear but I put other outfits in it to not do a walk of shame every morning)

I see Chakib in the early morning cause he always comes to work first, which I love, and we have a lil talk about... not my homelessness cause I keep hiding it from the people who could help me cause I don't wanna feel indebted even though they'd do it for me like... out of kindness and their appreciation towards me. But you feel me, I don't wanna burden them even this I were in their shoes it wouldn't be like a burden at all. So then Douaïb gets to work and we talk until it's time for all of us to start working

so the day ends, and we get the news: Forced quarantine. Whoever's at work needs to get home STAT.

And since I didn't tell anyone about my predicament, I can't get a hold of them to ask to crash at their place. Chakib takes his car and leaves, Maria's already at the transportation, and I'm over there with a duffel bag and a backpack and nowhere to go.

I resolve myself to go to my dad's when I feel a hand on my arm.

I turn around and it's Douaïb handing me my charger.

"I thought you had headphones on, but you just weren't listening."

so I apologise and take the charger and start walking aimlessly, and from an outsider's perspective I am searching for a path I've never walked. I stop at intersections and look around, try to gauge where to go, start on a way and then cross the street for no reason. It's a poor sight to see.

so then a car pulls up next to me and I close my hand around my Swiss knife (I irl have a fakely Swiss knife that wouldn't hurt a fly) ready to defend myself. But then a familiar voice tells me to get in; Douaïb's. I do a double-take cause it doesn't make much sense since... he looks so homeless— then again I'm actually homeless so maybe appearances aren't everything. I frown and try to act independent, but he half-shrugs "If you wanna get arrested, that's your funeral, I only tried to help."

He's about to drive off when I open the back door to drop in my bags. It's a surprisingly nice car, it's a Peugeot but I wouldn't be able to tell you its ref, I'm bad at those.

So he turns up some music (he has great taste in music, the best of every genre) and I say I'm going to El Golf at first. But he asks "don't you live in Ouled Fayet?" And I shrug and am like "I moved"

He's sceptical but keeps driving.

And the closer we get to that destination, the more I realise I don't wanna go there. Maybe I should've just said Maria's place, it's not late yet. She lives in Sacré Cœur, we're not so close as to necessitate a change of paths.

"Actually, can you head for Sacré Cœur? I'm not staying at El Golf."

"Can I ask you something?"

"... yes?"

"Why are you lying to me?"

Crap. "I'm not ly— what would I lie about anyway?"

He throws a smirk at me with those intense eyes of his before gluing them to the surprisingly busy road.

"You said I was observant when you were trying to guess my star sign. And you were right. You slept at work last night, but you didn't tell anyone. Not even Maria knows."

I know it's a lost cause, but I still try. "I didn't sleep at work"

At that point he parallel parks his car pretty damn swiftly. I remember being out-of-place impressed with it before realising I was being put on the spot.

He locks eyes with me and just stays silent. And... slowly but surely I start realising my current situation. I don't have 20 things to call my own. I have nowhere to go. I'm in this (as of four weeks ago) stranger's car, and he's the only one who can save me from a potentially deadly virus and homelessness.

And I characteristically burst into tears.So he lets me cry until I calm down. He offers a tissue (those Cotex tissue boxes that every car has for some reason) and tries not to invade my personal space.

After I calm down and slump into my seat in the closest thing to a foetal position, he takes off again. I stay quiet for a while, letting the music fill up the silence that is surprisingly peaceful.

That is, until I notice we're not going to Sacré Cœur. I sit up straight and look around. Algiers is emptier than I ever remember it being, it's eerie at just 5pm.

"Where are we going?"

"You're staying at my place."

"No, I was going to crash at Maria's."

"Not to rain on your parade, but I don't think she can sustain more than her brother and herself."

He's got a point. She's the only one who works at home and even then maybe her brother will give her trouble cause... he wouldn't trust my health like she would...

"What will your family say?"

He frowns, amusement softening his features. "How would they know? I live alone."

Interesting. "And you wouldn't mind having an impromptu guest for this quarantine? It could last months."

He makes a compromise gesture. "We'll keep ourselves busy, I guess. Got any books in that bag of yours?"

I smirk. "Why'd you think it's so heavy?"

Skip to when we get to his SURPRISINGLY TIDY AND CUTE apartment, where a whole-ass wall is a giant bookshelf. It's not full but it's patiently waiting to be full of literature. As soon as I drop my duffel bag and he locks his door, there's a brief silence in which none of us moves.

I'm aware of his presence.

He's aware of my presence.

We can hear each other breathing.

It's at that moment that tension begins. Because we're acutely aware of the fact we'll be spending the quarantine together, when we've never even been alone together save for the cigarette and hot cocoa of yesterday.

He breaks the silence by clearing his throat, which sounds eerily like a cough, making me whip around to exchange a malicious glance.

Out of nowhere, he announces, "Alright shower time, down the hall."

"Wait what?"

"We've been outside all day, they announced quarantine today, that means we're fucking filthy right now. Go shower, quickly so I can go too and get dinner started."

I face him, trying to find a flaw in his argument that's weighed down by his ownership of me refuge and his willingness to have me in it.

"Alright, d'you have PJs I can borrow?"

He frowns, "You don't have PJs in there?"

I roll my eyes slightly, "I didn't know I wouldn't be able to go home in months."

He gives an exasperated sigh and a shake of his head as he disappears into the hallway. I get the urge to go to the bookshelf but I remember the virus and stay put. I try to read titles from afar... There it is. The Van Gogh book that started my interest in him.

He comes back almost immediately with sweatpants and a Silmiya T-shirt. I grimace at the latter and he gives me a condescending glance.

"Don't forget to wash your hair, it's a great environment for the virus."

I mean to object, but since we're going to be in each other's constant presence for a good amount of time, now wouldn't be the time to be snippy about him seeing my post-shower hair.

I go shower quickly, noting that the clothes he gave me smelled like cleanliness and... something I couldn't quite recognise but appreciated.

After the shower, I dry my hair as much as I can before braiding it in boxer braids and wearing his clothes. The pants are a tight fit, but I don't mind. The T-shirt is large enough to hide strategic places that would've otherwise made our stay together uncomfortable at first.

I exit the bathroom after making sure I left everything clean, and then go grab my bags and place them next to the couch, which I'll claim as my bed. I finally tiptoe to the bookshelf and explore titles, grab them individually and look at the pages. Not reading them, but feeling them. Feeling for the worn pages or the smooth, new ones. I vaguely hear him saying he's going to shower, but I only realise it when I hear the water running. At that moment, I try to find the kitchen, cause he said something about making dinner. What if he'd started making something but I didn't hear him when he said it was cooking? Did I have a mission I hadn't heard?

Arriving to the quiet and dark kitchen, I realise that he hadn't started making anything. I'm relieved but also stressed. I feel an urge to open the fridge, but what if he's territorial? He hasn't said "help yourself", like what most people do when you penetrate their space. But I want to start making dinner, first as thanks, and second because I haven't had time to have lunch with the quarantine news being delivered at 1pm and my lunch usually being at 2pm. And I don't really feel like grabbing my lunch— I still have enough spaghetti for two people in my lunch box (I'd packed days' worth of pasta before leaving home).

So as I went back to the living room to get my lunch box, our paths crossed. He wasn't in just a towel... but he wasn't completely dry, either. Tips of his hair were still wet, and he radiated a hamam-like glow. How was that possible in so quick a shower?

[pranav31walia]

Music and Motorcycling don’t sound  like synonymous. Well,at least for the Macho Riders or for those who have a bone to pick with most Motorcyclists. ♠ So yes, I am prepared for  this particular piece of writing inviting  a lot of criticism. Let’s see which out of two finally wins-the Believers or the Doubters.

Please note ∗ The following are not proposals or rules ‘To be done’ or ‘Not to be Done’ while Motorcycling but are purely personal experiences to be  shared .

Evaluate for yourself-What serves  and suits the best and ignore the rest. :)

First and Foremost

Music has many genres so choose wisely (Added Advice-Based on the time of your ride), if at all you need to listen to music while motorcycling. I personally believe in creating a Playlist of songs well in advance on reading through the expected road/traffic conditions before hitting the saddle next time.

I have two main Categories i.e- Morning Ride & Return Ride.

Morning Ride Playlist– Usually includes tracks with  a soothing and relaxing genre something like easy listening as we are  taking into consideration, that it is an early morning ride. I do so because we can feel relaxed  and rejuvenated amidst the natural surroundings. Cruising along gives one a zen like feeling-calming the soul and filling  our lungs with fresh air. Our skins breathe in the freshness directly and-the aforesaid tempo keeps the mind and body, heart and soul ‘as fresh as a daisy’. Return Ride Playlist– Mostly our bellies are bloated with food if it’s a short morning breakfast ride (And even if it is not-Its lunch time and Being Indians, we just can’t ignore the delectable choice of cuisines available as Highway Food.) Well, it’s a known fact we are bound to feel lethargic and if not by food then due to the torrid temperatures. So in short-  In order to beat  the drowsiness and laziness we need strong and peppy vibes. Thus  not only does it keep you alert on the road  it helps drive away sleep too! Also,If you are riding through the evenings or at nights-make sure you have a combination of both of these (above-mentioned types of tracks) or even better-Put it on a shuffle. It automatically changes the tempo.

Extracts picked from riders- “Music helps me to cut out the boredom, sooth my mind and keep me concentrated on road and surroundings. If it’s same with you, then no doubt plug in ur favo chart no.s right now”

MORNING RIDE PLAYLIST

RETURN RIDE PLAYLIST

SECONDLY

I suggest listening to music with caution though. The downside is-it’s very [easy] to get distracted and not pay attention to your riding. That is a recipe for disaster. It’s also not recommended in heavy traffic/town situations. The crux of the matter is-Listening to music while riding is Ideal for long trips, especially on dull  deserted roads with slow moving traffic. I mostly use mine on the quaint Highways and try avoiding on Motorways. Listen to it only when you practically NEED it and don’t make it a habit.

Extracts picked from riders- “It makes me feel less stressed out and more relaxed, but I still won’t recommend it to others. See your own comfort level”.

Let’s not forget-99% of the times-We head out Motorcycling to feel stress free so let’s not contemplate and make it an irony.

Relaxed Rider Listening To Music

THIRDLY

It depends on how obtrusive it is-

If you’ll be listening to music and are not 100% focussing on what you’re doing (RIDING!) and are constantly adjusting the volume levels, fiddling with wires/uncomfortable ear buds, fiddling with the mobile handset or any other source of music player– You are More likely to miss hearing a siren or be the cause of something unpleasant being caused on the road. So please make it a thumb rule to – Have a pre-assigned playlist -Plug in your earphones based on  your long-term comfort level (Non obtrusive too) -Adjust the volume levels (20% on busy SH and UP TO 40% on barren NH) -Adjust the wiring and keep the music playing device at bay before you hop on the saddle and hit the roads. Research shows that tuning in to your favourite jams can make you ride happier, harder, and faster. Music is scientifically proven to reduce perceived exertion, boost your energy levels, and increase your endurance by as much as 15%. Do not hamper the pros by neglecting the cons.

RIDER ADJUSTING EARPHONES/VOLUME

FOURTHLY

I’ve talked to many Motorcycling Buddies regarding how to best listen to music without hampering the SAFETY and after many a talks-The final (Most  Common) conclusion drawn is-

Use just one ear bud-

Unless you’re a hopeless audiophile, pull the right ear bud (which faces traffic) out of your ear and ride with just the left one in so you can hear cars, other riders, and your general surroundings. You don’t want to be taken by surprise by canines, cows, or convoys of other vehicles, which can happen in even remote areas.

ONE EARPHONE PLUGGED OUT (RIGHT-EAR)

    FIFTH

While I generally don’t live dangerously, there is one habit that I have on my motorcycle that many might consider dangerous, or even stupid. I am all for safety on the road, but Boy do I love listening to my favourite music while I ride. Riding with music is an endless debate between motorcyclists.

Everyone knows that motorcyclists need to be able to hear their surroundings to ride safely. If you have both headphones in, you can’t hear the cars around you, the sounds of the street or even other bikers yelling warnings at you. Given- Rise to ‘Moto-Technology’ (applauding it as a boon Ü)- There are many such devices available now-a-days which do not hamper your riding yet allow you to enjoy your favourite piece of music.

Mount speakers on your handlebar!

There are a number of rechargeable or battery operated Bluetooth speakers that you can mount on your bars to serenade your motorcycling outings. They’re generally loud enough so you can hear them, but not so loud that you’re disturbing the peace or other riders, unless they’re really close by. Assuming you’re not riding on a closed course where no other person could possibly get in your way, never listen to music in a way that prevents you from hearing things around you.

Extracts picked from riders- “Personally, the sound of the bike is music enough!”

“Lyrics, especially catchy ones are distracting, but music relaxes me. So I get non lyric music playing to keep my mind awake on long rides but not too much to distract me. I do have a few tracks with lyrics, though.“ 

SPEAKERS MOUNTED HORIZONTALLY

SPEAKERS MOUNTED VERTICALLY

SIXTH

“I like driving but I love riding” Therefore, while driving if I have the radio on in the car (Or any songs playing), I turn it off when I come to a bit of tricky road so that I can concentrate on what I’m doing. I also stop talking to passengers in such circumstances. Then-I suspect I’d find it even worse on a motorcycle because the music is likely to be right in my ear, rather than from the remote speakers in the car.

Stats prove it- There are more accidents related to listening to loud music (At uncontrollable levels) in cars than listening to it(faint levels) on a motorcycle.

Pessimists might argue- That’s because nobody checks us while riding or that there are no rules (Popularised) against us as such or even that what’s happening under a helmet, nobody knows (Well that’s exactly what our intention here @FRAMETOTHEWORLD is- to share and make aware all of you (Our beloved readers) as to what happens behind the Visor (in mind) and how can it be tackled better).

A DISTRACTED RIDER

A FOCUSSED RIDER

SEVENTH

Plug in just the earphones/earplugs or ear buds to cut through the sound of wind-blast or to tune you away from those roaring silencers (Yours or others’).

THUMPERS AS SUCH ARE REAL LOUD

[Include the audio file]

    Extracts picked from riders- “I always wear earplugs when I ride. I find they help me concentrate better on my riding and they seem to reduce fatigue on longer rides. Probably save my hearing too. At the same time earplugs do reduce the amount of outside sound you hear, so is not it almost the same effect as music?”

LAST BUT NEVER THE LEAST

Social Rides-Miss Music On Them

Pluck those buds on social rides!

By Social rides, I mean-Rides where you’re there to enjoy the company of others. Wearing ear buds—even one—is a bit antisocial in these circumstances. Leave them at home and

enjoy the sights (Landscape), (Natural) sounds and conversations (Of your co-riders or bystanders)of the ride.

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STARRING!!!

BIKRAMJEET SAWHNEY

TEGPRIT SINGH

NAREN DA

Gracefully Edited By: Natasha Verma

Peacefully Proposed By: Pranav Walia                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

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AN ODE TO FOUR DECADES OF RIDING LEGACY

MOTORCYCLE THERAPY-II

MILEAGE BOOSTER

MOTORCYCLE THERAPY

ALERT AVOID ACCIDENT

RIDING IN THE RAIN

4 STATES

MUSIC MAKES MOTORCYCLING MAYHEM? Music and Motorcycling don’t sound  like synonymous. Well,at least for the Macho Riders or for those who have a bone to pick with most Motorcyclists.