#i can proudly say that i know the difference between a button up and a button down (because i've googled a few too many times)

[jeonstudios]

Today I started reading Drown For You thanks to a list of fic recommendations I found by chance, and I just want to tell you that I love your writing and the plot.

I love the gentle but detailed way you describe environments, people and their actions <3

thank you!! ❤️ i find environments and especially people's outifts SO tedious that i have to force myself to and i WILL only describe as little as i can get away with and sometimes i forget to in the first place 🫣 so i'm glad you like it, it makes me really happy!

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

Sharing - Twin Rafe Fic (Part 1 of 2)

+18 Minor DNI

CurtainBangs!Rafe x BuzzCut!Rafe x GF!Reader

⭐ republished ⭐

+18 Minor DNI

🪄 warning: SMUT, language, drinking, name calling, choking, pet names, sharing kink, ownership kink, fingering, unprotected p in v, choking, public sex, rough sex, shower sex

📖 After meeting Rafe's (CurtainBangs!) twin brother Cam (BuzzCut!) for the first time, Rafe gives you a proposal you can't help but accept: sharing you.

✨ “Pretty sure you know what I want to hear, princess,“ he grunts. "Just tell me you want him. Tell me you want us to share you. Tell me you want his cock and mine, y/n. Let me hear it.” ✨

3.8K

Reader's POV:

“Touchdown, Bulldogs!”

The stadium erupts with applause as Rafe gets swallowed up in a team hug. The school fight song blares through the open arena as a massive homecoming crowd clamors to storm the field in celebration. You hang back slightly with the other players’ girlfriends, watching as Rafe shuffles over to an equally massive #2; Cameron scrolled across his back as well. The two of you have only been dating for a few weeks, but you could tell, like quintessential twins, those two were close.

Cam was always Rafe’s second call after you, no matter what, good or bad, and it almost seemed like Cam was two steps ahead. He knew how to calm him down; he always seemed to know what to say. But, then there was the rivalry; Cam knew how to push Rafe’s buttons. What to say to trigger a classic Cameron bitch fit.

Rafe wanted nothing more than to win this game. You could see his chest puffed out a little more than usual, his shit-eating grin a little more sly. Rafe tugs off his helmet, skimming his fingers through his sweaty fringe as his brother removes his helmet as well.

You squint your eyes, stomach fluttering as you take in the difference from all the Instagram and Snapchat images you’ve stalked prior: a fresh buzz cut. Jesus Christ. Rafe pulls him in for a big hug, slapping his shoulder pads.

Your nerves creep in fast, a combination of anxieties about meeting Cam for the first time. I want to impress him. I want him to like me. I want him to think I’m good for Rafe. That’s his twin brother, after all. Sure, I met Ward and Rose, Wheezie and Sarah, and that went great, but this is the big leagues. This is his twin; this is make-or-break.

But, on a separate note, should I be this nervous? I mean, in this way? Seeing Cam gave me butterflies… Maybe it’s ‘cause he looks so much like Rafe? I can’t deny that when he took off his helmet, I felt something. Fuck, I’m in trouble.

“There she is," Rafe groans as he pulls you off your feet and into his strong arms. You cup his sweat-glistened cheeks, kissing him deeply.

"Hi, Rafey," you mumble against his sweet lips.

"How’d I do?" He smiles against your pout, nose nuzzling yours playfully.

"So damn good,” you praise as you scratch your nail into his hair, pulling him closer.

“You look so pretty, baby - love seeing you in my jersey.” Rafe sets you down on your feet, kissing you again before pulling you to his side.

“This her?” Cam pipes in, stealing your attention away.

“Sure is. Cam, y/n; y/n, Cam,” Rafe smiles down at you proudly. You turn your attention to Cam, feeling that same flutter from before, a blush creeps in your cheeks as you see the same look in his eyes that Rafe gave you the first night you met.

“Well, shit,” he rasps as he steps a little closer. Cam takes you off Rafe’s hands, drawing you into his embrace, hugging you before pulling back ever-so-slightly. “Fuck, you’re stunning," he praises.

Cam reaches up, fixing the little "R” pendant on your chest, brushing your clothed cleavage as he sets it in place. Your heart races at the contact between you, banging so loudly you swear Cam can hear it. “Thank you,” you breathe. A grin slides across Cam’s lips; Cam’s smile is stunning, just like your boyfriend’s. But there’s a fire behind it that once again gives you the most delicious deja vu. Cam likes what he sees.

“So…” Rafe teases, head cocked slightly, arms raised, holding open your spot at his side.

“Oh shit. Sorry, Rafey,” Cam snickers as he passes you back to his brother. Rafe wraps his arm around your shoulders, tugging you in, pressing a rough kiss on your hair. Cam’s eyes return to his brother, a smirk spreading on his rosy lips. You look up at Rafe, catching the mirror image.

“Well, this one’s gonna help me with my post-game routine; why don’t you come over in like an hour-” Rafe continues to talk; Cam cocks his eyebrow, seemingly stuck on the first part of the plan for the evening. He smiles sinfully, eyes falling down your body, making you blush as you see his wheels turn. These two talk about everything; your little post-match shower session was most likely a topic of discussion already. 

“We drinkin’ tonight?” Cam drawls.

“Literally just said that, dumbass. Maybe if you stop starin’ at my girl’s tits, you could focus. Yeah?” Rafe taunts, shoving his brother away.

“Not gonna apologize,” he bullies as he wets his plump bottom lip.

If Cam was anyone else, he’d gone - erased from this earth for his wandering eye. Rafe, no stranger to roughing up a guy or two on account of you - his brother seemingly the exception. “You’re a fuckin’ dog, buddy.” Cam shrugs and smiles, owning the title as Rafe hooks his finger under your chin. “I don’t blame him. My girl’s perfect,” he whispers before meeting your lips.

“This is my favorite part of Game Day, baby," Rafe hums as he tears his shirt off his athletic body. You pinch the bottom of your top, drawing it over your naval. ”Lemme,“ he smiles, stripping you of his old jersey before tossing it to the side, lifting you off your feet. Rafe pulls away only briefly to turn on the water, walking with you to the countertop. It’s dim, the perfect amount of light thrown from his open bedroom door. Admittedly, it’s your favorite part of Game Day as well: getting this time with Rafe, the two of you unwinding before a night of drinking, the pair of you coming down from his post-game high together.

Rafe sets you down on the cool top, sending chills up your warm body as his hands quickly get to work. One weaves into the nape of your hair while the other grips the plush of your hip. ”You know I love you,“ he whispers as his rough fingers trace over the top of your thigh, disappearing between your legs.

”Of course, Rafe.“

"M'not sayin’ this to start a fight; m'not callin’ you out for anything. Alright?”

“Okay," you giggle nervously. ”Is everything okay?“

"More than okay," he grins. You let out a little gasp as he runs two fingers through your wetness, lifting them to his lips tasting you. "You have a crush on my brother. Don’t you, sweetheart?" He whispers. Your eyes widen in surprise, lashes fluttering as he calls you out.

"I - Umm… Rafe-”

“I said, 'It’s more than okay, honey," he mumbles as his fingers press through your entrance. ”You don’t believe me?“ Your brows knit in confusion as you stare into his beautiful blues. How could Rafe Cameron be okay with this? I mean, he almost got arrested last weekend for a fight after someone bought me a shot. How is he okay with me having a crush on his brother? 'And, it’s more than okay?’ No way.

"No…" You whisper feebly as your gaze falls to his lips.

A smirk stretches wide, Rafe’s breathing increasing with yours. "No, what, princess?”

“I don’t believe you," you reply before returning your eyes to his. Rafe pouts his lip teasingly, pumping and scissoring his long fingers.

"Alright…" He shrugs, continuing to tease you. You grip Rafe’s thick dick in your hand, rubbing his precum into his swollen tip as he quickens the speed of his hand, thrusting his fingers at an insane pace. ”He’s got a crush on you.“ Your pussy tightens around his digits at the sound of his words, making Rafe smile wickedly. "Baby girl…" He mocks as he moves in even closer, wrapping his muscular arm around your waist. Rafe tucks himself into the crook of your neck as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten.

”M'gonna cum,“ you whine.

”You sure, y/n,“ he whispers against your warm skin. ”I don’t believe you.“ Rafe repeats your words as he slows his pace, edging you; prompting you to grind against his palm, craving a release.

”Rafe…“

”Hmm?“ He chuckles through a throaty laugh. ”S'alright, baby. We share.“ Rafe baffles you with his admittance as he spears his thick cock into your drenched pussy.

”Rafe!“ You wail, mouth hanging open as he circles his hips nice and slow, buried balls deep, letting you adjust to his size. You cling onto his shoulders, nails digging into his tan skin as he stretches you out. Steam swirls all around the two of you, the room burning with vapor and sex as Rafe walks toward the walk-in show, drawing back the glass door. ”This could be a really good night for you,“ he mutters as the stream of water pours from the spout, washing over your naked bodies.

Rafe’s eyes fall down your bare frame, watching as the little rivers of warm water cascade through your dips and curves, glistening over your already dewy skin. His blonde fringe hangs wet on his forehead, framing his beautiful face. You look down as well, eyeing the place where your bodies connect; Rafe’s thick cock sheathed deep. "You share girls?" You whisper. Rafe moans as he presses you back into the icy shower wall, forcing himself as deep as possible, making you exhale a deep breath.

“'Course we do." He starts to pound you into the wall, making you cry out in pleasure.

"And, you want to share me?" You ask, weakly between rough thrusts.

”That not clear?“ He rasps, drawing out of your cunt, whirling you around before bending you over, pounding back into your aching core.

"Fuck!” You sob, feeling him deep in your guts. You take hold of his wrists, his hands steadying your hips, clawing into the fat of your ass. Rafe spreads your cheeks, coaxing his cock in slower as he feels you tighten around him again.

“Bounce for me. Yeah?" He groans, slapping your ass before letting you take control. You throw your bum on his cock; cheeks clapping against Rafe’s wet skin. Your curves recoil with each slap of his tight body against yours, knees buckling, causing Rafe to chuckle darkly as he watches you go weak on his dick. "Please," you whimper, knowing he won’t let you cum until he hears you say it.

”Pretty sure you know what I want to hear, princess,“ he grunts. "Just tell me you want him. Tell me you want us to share you. Tell me you want his cock and mine, y/n. Let me hear it.”

“Rafe.”

He winds up, slapping your thigh harshly, making you scream, voice bouncing off of the shower walls. “I want him. I - I want you to share me. Fuck. I want your cock and his." You squeal Rafe’s name as you gush around his cock; your entire body shaking as he keeps you standing through your climax.

"I want you to beg,” he huffs, tugging your hair, pulling you close, back pressed against his heaving chest, Rafe not letting you come down from your orgasm before he starts working on your next. One arm wraps around your throat in a chokehold, squeezing tightly while the other arm binds around your waist.

“Please.”

“No. Not enough," he sneers, constricting your airway with his biceps. Rafe starts rocking in and out. You can feel every ridge and curve of his cock as he gives it to you, slow and deep, making your eyes roll back. You feel yourself getting lightheaded at the lack of air, but Rafe doesn’t let up his hold. ”Beg.“

Holy shit.

"Please, Rafe. I fucking need it," you pant wearily. ”I want to please you both… I wanna feel you-“ Your voice trails off as you feel your orgasm building again, vision fuzzy, mind muddled like you could fall to the floor.

"Baby? You got awfully quiet. You a'ight?" He growls; a low tone rumbled against your skin.

”I want you both to ruin me!“ You choke out the words. “I’ll do anything for your dick. Please.”

"Mmm… Atta girl.” Rafe pulls out, taking his time with you as he looks down at you lovingly. He guides your chin, lifting your lips to his. Rafe kisses you soft and slow as you try to catch your breath. You look down at his throbbing dick, the creamy ring of your arousal rinsing off his hardened flesh, ready for more.

“You think your brother wants me, Rafey?" You whisper, biting into your bottom lip as you bat your lashes, playing into his game.

”'Course he does. That bastard always wants what’s mine. Lucky for him, we’re brothers… N'I play nice.“ Rafe loops his bicep under your thigh, plunging his cock back in. He rolls his hips deliciously slow, finding that perfect angle that makes tears leak from your eyes. ”Gonna fuck that tight little ass of yours, baby. Fill you up,“ he groans. ”We haven’t done that yet? You ready, f'me? Think you can handle us both?“

You can’t even form words; all thoughts in your mind run wild at the idea of having them. "You’re squeezing me so tight, baby… Think you could cum for me again?" He whispers against your ear, teeth, tugging at your lobe as he draws out, slamming his cock back into your pussy. You let out a cry of pleasure, your cracked sob reverberating off the walls. "Gonna have you creamin’ on our cocks all night. Just a little whore for Cameron cock, aren'tcha?" Rafe throws his hips again and again as the knot in your stomach starts to twist tighter. You pinch your eyes shut, nodding frantically as you feel your orgasm within reach, completely cock-drunk. "Say. It.”

“M'just - Fuck, daddy-”

“M'just what?" He mocks your fucked-out tone.

"A little whore for your cocks. M'just a hole for you, Rafe.”

“Ugh. Yes! Fuck. That’s my girl. That’s it, baby. Cum for me. Yeah? Cum on my cock.”

“Fuck…”

“Cum." Your walls spasm around his cock; waves of your finish crashing down on you again and again as you call out his name. Rafe yours as he floods you with his seed. You can feel his dick twitching inside you, your body milking every last drop of his cum.

Rafe’s forehead falls to your neck in exhaustion. ”Goddamn. I fuckin’ love you, honey,“ he breathes as he kisses his way up your neck. ”Mmm… We’re gonna take real good care of you tonight, baby,“ Rafe moans. You can hear the excitement in his voice, matching your own, but you can’t help but feel a slight apprehension.

What if this ruins what Rafe and I have?

Your demeanor must have changed because Rafe notices instantly. "Talk to me, princess,” he respires as he holds you tight, lips resting on your shoulder as he rocks the two of you lazily.

“I’m a little worried, Rafe. This doesn’t really feel like something you’d do with a girlfriend… Someone you wanna end up with. This seems like something the two of you would do with some random girl - maybe a fling. I wanna be with you… I don’t see us not being together. I’m crazy about you, Rafe,” your voice cracks with emotion, making him expel a soft pity laugh like you have nothing to worry about.

“I’ve got no doubt in my mind that it’ll be us, Y/n. Rafe and y/n…” He pinches the gold "R” he bought you between his fingers. “I’m crazy about you too, baby. You gotta know that. Yeah? Here.” Rafe tugs off his gold Cameron Family ring, gliding it on your thumb instead. “I want you to have this, Y/n.”

“Really?” You gasp.

“'Course. You’re mine. Alright? Tonight doesn’t mean I think anythin’ less of you, or I’m not serious about our relationship. M'so fuckin’ serious, y/n.” Rafe pulls out of your pussy, making you wince; his large palm quickly soothes the ache. Rafe turns you into his chest, wrapping his towering frame in yours. “How could I not be serious about you, baby?” He mumbles warmly against your lips. You look up at him, matching his gaze. ”S'no question who you belong to, honey. Cam knows you’re mine. I had you first. M'gonna have you when he’s gone. Alright? Just let us take care of you like you take care of me. A'ight?“

"Okay, daddy,” you smile as you rest your hands on Rafe’s muscular chest, trying to contain your excitement as you see his ring adorned on your tiny finger. Rafe glances down as well, chuckling to himself as he sees how happy the gesture made you.

“Looks good on you, baby," he croons. "Let’s have a good night. Yeah?”

“Let’s do it.”

You start moving your hips to the music; the bass bumps in your chest. Your friend quickly grabs you by your hips, turning you away from her; you start grinding on her. Your hands drift up your thighs, working back down as you roll your body nice and slow. “Where’s Rafe?” One of your friends screams over the track. You smile and shrug as you continue to move. “You think you could introduce me to Cam?” She wiggles her eyebrows in your direction. No way.

“Sure," you breathe, brushing her off.

Where are they? Tonight has been fun. Cam is every bit as gentlemanly as Rafe. He asked me about school, my major, and my friends, but it was all very "normal”, almost as if that conversation with Rafe in the shower hadn’t happened.

Was he genuinely interested in me like Rafe said he was? Or did he change his mind? You look out into the packed college bar; a deep sea of students grinding and moving to the beat. Your dance partner gives you a sloppy kiss on the cheeks before getting whisked away by her boyfriend, leaving you solo again.

The void is quickly filled as your body is claimed by Rafe, taking you from behind. He presses his chest against your back, rough hands working up your bare thighs, resting on your hips. “You look good, baby girl,” he groans. “This fuckin’ body." His lips meet your neck, kissing and nipping his way to your ear as you grind to the beat. You can feel his rock-hard cock through his jeans, pressed against your ass. His rough fingers move down, drifting lower and lower, making your pulse below. "Bet this pussy’s so wet,” he groans, teeth grazing the shell of your ear.

Rafe applies a little more pressure, pressing his fingers on top of your clothed pussy; rubbing small circles on top. Oh my god. Your body tingles, warmth coursing through your system as you feel little spurs of pleasure between your thighs. You breathe deeply, taking in his cologne, eyes widening when you take in a subtle differences.

This isn’t Rafe.

You look ahead, watching as Rafe lifts his red SOLO cup to his lips, his smirk half-seen as he stares you down. He gives you a flirty nod before tossing back the rest of his gin and tonic. You look down at the large set of hands on your body, seeing his twins matching gold Cameron ring on his finger. Cam’s body is familiar, the shape of him fitting perfectly with yours, but his hold is heavy, touch not as gentle as Rafe’s. His kisses are rough, sending chills up your spine as you rest your hands on top of his, guiding them closer to your sweet spot as Rafe watches on.

Cam’s fingers trace your inner thigh, toying with the soaked lace of your panties. “Y/n…" He moans against your skin. You lean back against him, tipping your chin up in his. Your heart skips a beat when you see Cam’s face, the sight of him making this all that more real. He looks so good, so fucking good; Rafe’s double in every sense of the word, donning a black v-neck instead of a white. His gold chain lays on his chiseled chest, glinting in the laser lights. The only visible difference is his buzzed hair. Cam wets his lip, blue eyes sparkling down on yours.

He pushes your panties to the side, causing you to gasp; Cam quickly claims your lips, stealing your breath. Rafe’s brother teases your entrance with the tip of his rough finger, making you whimper on his lips. He draws his hand away, bending you over. You rest your hands on your knees as you throw your ass back into him. Cam’s grip tightens on your hips, pulling you closer; the two of you fucking clothed.

Rafe pinches his jeans, adjusting himself clearly, loving what he sees. He calls over to the bartender, yelling for his tab, making your heart pick up pace as you see the plan set in motion.

Cam grabs you by your waist, turning you around; pulling you close to his chest. One hand works around the back of your neck, guiding your focus toward his eyes as his other hand continues to massage your clit. You feel a heat building in your belly, lashes fluttering as you look up at him.

"Rafe said you were a good girl, y/n. That true?" He rasps in a voice just a little deeper than Rafe’s.

"I - I’m a good girl," you whimper.

"Then cum for me." Cam pulls you in a little closer as you feel yourself about to lose control. Fuck. Am I gonna cum in front of all these people? You look around, the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd off in their own worlds. "Eyes on me? Wanna see your face, princess. Wanna see my brother’s pretty little slut cum on my hand in front of all these people," Cam taunts. He leans in, lips brushing against yours. "Our hands.” Ours? You gasp as Rafe grabs you by the waist, plunging two thick fingers between your thighs.  He fucks them into your pussy effortlessly, curling and stroking with precision.

“He told you to cum," Rafe warns.

You grit your teeth, gripping onto Rafe’s wrist and Cam’s shirt as your orgasm claims your body. The two boys work you through your release. Cam watches you closely, taking in your beautiful features as you cum for him for the first time. Rafe slips his fingers out of your pussy, sucking the mess clean as he always does. "What do you say, brother? Let’s get our girl outta here. Hmm?”

Part 2

For fic drops please follow and turn on notifications for @curtainbangs-updates for fic drops

my masterlist 🔮

my tag list 🎀

tags ⭐ @rafesgiirl @akobx @hyperfixationgirl @rafesthroatbaby @loserboysandlithium @daryldixon83

[bambikisss]

Congratulations :: Song Mingi + Choi San

🎶: One of the girls - The IDOL

📙: After debuting at number one for your 1st album, you decide to rent out a club to celebrate. While that was your idea of celebrating, your best friends San and Mingi have other ideas on how to

⚠: Honestly smut without plot, public, biting, anal, threesome, oral (m + f), nicknames (baby, beautiful, whore), riding, 69, multiple creampies

Bambi's notes: HI! I'm back from a break. I wanted to get back into the flow of writing, and I love a good Mingi/San fic, so here we are. Also, this is smut with a sprinkle of plot, <3

REBLOGS + COMMENTS ARE WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED

"And everyone, let's raise a glass to the woman who's album is already raking in 30 million dollars day of debut!" You smiled at the back of the club, raising your glass with everyone as they cheered for you, the red lights hitting your best friend who stood on stage. Your eyes moved over San's tough figure, his open suit jacket and loosely opened white button-up clung to him as he met your eyes, a smirk now on his lips as he said "To Y/N, may you rake in twice as much money next time so you can buy us all more drinks. Good Job, baby."

Everyone cheered at San's words, downing their drinks before they returned to dancing. You leaned back against the seat cushions and watched everyone enjoy the album release party. You had dropped your first album which your fans had been begging for, the album hitting number one on all music platforms and physical CDs already selling out, pre-orders racking up as well. To celebrate, you rented out a club for you and your guests to party and relax, as the album-making process wasn't easy. At least for you, anyway.

"You didn't have to do all of that, you know," You said as San slid back into the booth, a chuckle leaving his lips as he rested his head back against the cushion, already pouring himself another glass of whiskey. "You could've said something simple." "Why would I say something special when my best friend is number one all around the world tonight?" He chuckled, downing his drink easily. You rolled your eyes, your eyes landing on his eyes open chest as he chuckled. He was frankly too big for the shirt: his chest pecs were pushing away the fabric, giving you a view of his cross necklace that sat in between them, rising and falling in the club's red lights as he breathed, glimmering as if it wanted to draw your attention back constantly.

"I, for one, liked his speech" You turned to Mingi who slid back into the booth, the group of women he was dancing with leaving as he waved them away, turning back to you with a grin. He was now covered in kiss marks from the girl's lipstick-covered lips, their smudged kiss adoring his collarbone, neck, his cheek, and his chest. He smirked proudly as your eyes moved over them, chuckling out "Drink in in, Beautiful. The woman are crazy about me tonight." "You guys know that you're supposed to be celebrating me, right?" You asked playfully, taking a sip of your drink as Mingi moved to sit on one side of you. He placed his arm around the back of the seat, his fingers playing with your hair as he said "of course. Just how I celebrate things is different than this."

"Well then, how do you guys celebrate things?'' You asked, watching as both of your friends made eye contact across the table. San's eyes darkened slightly, the red lights adding shadows to his face as he moved closer to you. His hand landed on your thigh, smirking as he said "Well, we can show you…" Mingi smirked, agreeing as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet before he placed a red card on the table in front of you. As you leaned forward to read the black ink on the card, your hair left your shoulders as Mingi's lips met your neck, San's hands moving up your sides.

IOU CARD: Good for anything as a replacement for a gift on a holiday

For Christmas a few years back, you had gifted both San and Mingi IOU cards as you couldn't afford to get them gifts at the time. However, when you did buy them gifts, you thought you had gotten them all back. Mingi must've held onto one. "Is the card good for this type of situation?" Mingi asked against your ear, his body blocking you from the view of everyone else in the club as he moved your face to meet his, San's hands moving down your sides to the bottom of your dress, pushing your legs apart. You felt like you were in a daze, Mingi smirking at your hooded eyes and parted lips. He repeated his question, his lips meeting your immediately when you nodded. When you had first gifted them the IOU cards, you didn't think they'd use them for this, but now that you had Mingi's tongue meeting yours and San's hands playing with your panties underneath the table while he watched, you weren't mad.

"You know, we could take you right here at this table, baby" San whispered into your ear, his chest now pressed against your back as you fully faced Mingi, your arms wrapping around his neck as you both made out. "Everyone here is so drunk and so focused on dancing that they won't even see us. How about I have you ride me, while you suck off Mingi, hmm?" San whispered his dirty thoughts into your ear, making you moan against Mingi's lips. The kiss heated up at that, Mingi smirked at the idea.

"I like that. Having tonight's special girl on the table, back against the table with my cock down her throat and you in between her legs, making a mess" You bit your lip at his words, your eyes slowly dragging down Mingi's body, landing on each of the kiss marks those women he was dancing with earlier left. San noticed your growing jealousy, his hands cupping your face to meet his as he asked "someone looks like she's jealous, isn't she?" San clicked his tongue, turning you to face Mingi once more as he pressed his cheek against yours. San was like the devil on your shoulder, his dark smirk showing off his dimples as he spoke to Mingi. "She's far too focused on all those kiss marks you have on you to feel good, man."

"Is that so?" Mingi asked, standing up from the booth to tower over where you were bent slightly due to San pushing you down a little with his chest. "Don't you wish these were from you, not them?" You felt your jealousy kicking into a higher gear, being egged on by San's words. You nodded, turning to kiss San when Mingi went to kiss you again. This made him chuckle darkly, San doing the same before he pulled back, licking his lips as he met your eyes. "I think someone needs all of our attention, don't you? You're just an attention whore, aren't you, Y/N?"

"She couldn't just be happy with having the world's attention, no, she needs our attention too" Mingi grabbed your jaw, making you face him as he picked you up. The club's loud music blocked out the noise from the wet kiss Mingi had you locked in, San rushing to knock every bottle and glass off the table with his arm before grabbing you by your hips, pulling you back to rest on the table. You looked up as the two men towered over you, the various people at the club not noticing anything, oblivious to the heated moment between you and your best friends.

You looked up as Mingi and San swapped places, their shoes crushing the broken glass bottles underneath their dress shoes as they settled into their new positions, with San sitting back down in the booth, setting your legs up to spread yourself for him, while Mingi stood at your head, his hands playing with his large belt buckle. "You're such a greedy whore, you know that right?" Mingi mumbled, his thumb rubbing over your lips before he moved to cup your neck, forcing your head to stay back as he removed his belt. "You've been so busy in the studio and haven't had time to hang out with us. Then here you are, inviting us out to celebrate the same album that you were locked away recording, and you get all upset when I get some attention."

You gasped as San pulled back your panties, letting the ruined fabric stick against you once more, making him chuckle. He ran his hands up and down your legs, kissing down the inside of your thighs as he looked up at you. "She can't handle it if someone else wants us as much as we want her right now."

Your mind was clouded as San's lips met your covered pussy, his tongue moving over the fabric before he took your clit in his mouth, his free hand's thumb rubbing over your covered entrance, teasing you as he pushed in his thumb, only to pull it back out a second later. Your eyes closed at the feeling, Mingi pushing down his pants only a little so that his cock can come out from his underwear. Your eyes opened up to see his cock standing up against his abs, a kiss mark right above it. His hands moved into your hair, pushing his cock slowly into your mouth as he moaned out "I'll have you kiss over these kiss marks when I'm finished filling your throat."

Your mouth widened to accommodate Mingi's size and length, your hands now pinned to the table by San's hands. You moaned as Mingi began to fuck your mouth, San's tongue and mouth focused on wetting your panties. Anytime you tried to drop a leg or pull him closer, San would firmly place your foot back against the table, biting the inside of your thighs with a warning. You were at their mercy as they used and played with you, and you loved it. The music only became background noise as Mingi moved faster, his tongue poking out over his lips as he watched drool and his precum leave your lips, dribbling down your cheeks and neck. He paused his movements, fully stuffing your mouth with his cock to the hilt, your nose pressing against the kiss mark that was left by one of the women he was with earlier.

"You know," he started, pulling his cock out till only the tip was in your mouth before he went back to slowly fill your mouth once more, repeating it multiple times. ''I thought about you the whole time I was with that girl? She doesn't know how to take the whole thing without complaining like this" He hummed, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks, cooing at you to breathe through your nose. Your legs were shaking, your eyes now welled up with tears from the constant teasing from San and Mingi fucking your throat. "You look like a mess, baby" Mingi continued to coo, leaning down to place a single bite onto one of your breasts. "Looking like such a mess at your own party."

San sat up from your legs, his hands moving to your hips as he laid his head against your pussy, looking up at you. His eyes were dark, his lips now in a devious smirk as he began to play with the waistband of your panties. "What if I announce to everyone that you're getting used on a table right now? That you're allowing us to taste you, and fill your throat with our cum over a fake IOU card?" San's words made you pull away from Mingi's cock with a pop, sitting up to ask what he meant. Mingi rushed to bite and kiss your neck, his hands moving to grab your breasts over the dress and San chuckled.

"When you let Mingi borrow your laptop that one time, he found your IOU card templates and he copied it and sent it to himself." San paused, picking up the IOU card, placing it into your mouth as he slithered up your body, his hands meeting Mingi's to play with and grab your breasts. You bit the card at the feeling, not wanting to let your friends know you were enjoying it, making San chuckle darkly. "Oh, she's trying to hide it now. She's trying to not show us that she likes it because we lied."

Mingi let out his own chuckle from your neck, his lips meeting your ear as he whispered "Let us make it up to you, you know, since it's your IOU party." San leaned forward to bite the card from your mouth, his hands now on your hips as he met yours. Your body was hot and full of need, your hand moving to cup San's jaw as he pressed himself against the front of you, his hard, clothed cock now pressed against your ruined panties. ''Is that a yes?" Mingi asked, making eye contact with his best friend. "Are you going to let us make it up to you?"

Usually, you would be mad if your best friends lied to you. You would've made them make it up to you somehow. "Faster, baby, fuck," Mingi had his head off the side of the bed, his hands gripping the bed as he fucked up into you, matching your bounces as you rode his cock. You nodded, moving as fast as you could to match his new pace, both of your noises filling the bedroom. You leaned your head back to rest on San's shoulder, his hands gripping your breasts as you moved your hips up and back, meeting both of their cocks. "Slow down" San moaned through gritted teeth, landing a hard smack to your breast before he gripped it again, his cock filling your ass as you rotated your hips. Mingi shook his head, moaning out loudly "no, fucking don't, I'm so close"

San shoved his face into your neck, littering it with marks as he began to move his hips to match your bouncing as well as he could, his mind fuzzy as he moaned out "I'm gonna cum if she doesn't slow down." You bit your lip as you sped up, making both men shake and moan your name, rushing to grab you wherever they could as they pressed their hips against yours, filling you up with their cum. You placed your hands on either side of Mingi as you all panted, San's hand rushing to grab your hair as he began to roll his hips into your plush ass, making you moan out.

"Kiss them" San panted, forcing your head down to kiss over all of the lipstick marks Mingi had on him. The sight made both men go feral, Mingi's cock hardening inside you as he moaned. You felt San tug you back, meeting your lips in a messy kiss, Mingi pulling out to litter your body with bite and kiss marks. You three had been at it since you all decided to leave the club, going at it in the car as they each took turns driving while the other one got a blowjob in the back of the car. Now you all had been in the same position for what felt like forever, your pussy now leaking all of Mingi's cum onto the bed, San's cum also doing the same. You panted against San as he pushed back in, San's growl covering your pants as he said "you're still so tight, no matter how many times I fuck this sweet ass and fill it. It's just as needy as you are."

You licked your lips at his words, San's mind turning off as he pulled you back into the messy kiss. Mingi licked down your stomach to your pussy, having you sit down on his face while San began to fuck your ass once more. You moved your hips over Mingi's tongue to meet San's movements, your mind shutting off at the sensation of Mingi moaning against you. San pulled back from the kiss abruptly, his hand moving to push you down onto your stomach against Mingi's. He continued to lap away happily at your pussy while you took his cock into your mouth, humming at the taste left on it by you. San smirked at the sight before he moved to slowly push back into your ass, making you choke around Mingi's cock.

"Breathe baby" He smacked your ass, his hand grabbing a handful of your ass. You tried to focus once more on Mingi's cock, bobbing your head, but once Mingi pushed his tongue fully into you, along with San fully pushing into your ass, you choked again, making both men chuckle. "She can't focus like this, San" Mingi chuckled, his ringed finger playing with your entrance before pushing into you slowly. You gasped, backing up against them both before you were met with two rough smacks to your ass, both men urging you to move faster. San pushed your head down on Mingi's cock as he resumed fucking you, chuckling and cooing at your loud, gurgled moans around Mingi. His hands landed on your hips, keeping you from moving away as they both used you.

You began to feel your sixth orgasm rush to you, your eyes rolling back as Mingi urged you to cum, his mouth latching onto your pussy with great need, San's pace becoming more brutal as you came hard, moaning loudly around Mingi. The vibrations from your moan made him cum as well, his cock returning to your throat as he emptied his load down it.

Your head fell against Mingi's thighs as San pulled out, his cum leaking out of you, down your thighs. You didn't react to Mingi moving, resting your body down against the bed. San kissed along your shoulders and back, soothing you slowly. "Did all that make up for the fake IOU?" Your eyes opened to face both men who were cheekily smiling at you, both covered in sweat and bite marks. You rolled your eyes, both men high-fiving each other before they laid down next to you.

"We should do this again sometime, baby" San whispered, his hands moving down your body to play with your clit lazily. You whimpered, Mingi now kissing your shoulder as he whispered "right now." "Mingi's right, we should do it again right now" San moaned, his lips meeting yours as Mingi moved down your body once more, moving in between your legs with a smile as he said, "all to celebrate you, babygirl."

"Do you think you can spell congratulations with your tongue?" San asked, grabbing the back of Mingi's head to force him into your pussy, Mingi's chuckle against your pussy made you moan out "please do."

"Well, since she asked so politely" Mingi hummed, his tongue moving out to play with your pussy, his mind focused on spelling one thing.

Congratulations.

@bambikisss | 2024

[newtonsheffield]

The snippet from Surprise Neddy AU! 😍 It's so cute I'm literally melting away.

I think I've already said that I absolutely love that Neddy calls Anthony "my Anthony", but I also love the fact that:

Kate often calls Neddy "Baby"

we get to see Neddy's perspective, his emotions

Anthony wanted to ask Neddy if Kate had said he was a good kisser, but decided against it 🤭

Neddy is a handful. I can already imagine him telling Kate that Anthony said that she is the prettiest girl in the world. And Kate having a similar reaction to Anthony's: wanting to ask Neddy about all the details, but scolding herself internally "Kate, you really shouldn't be quizzing your 3-year-old about your one-night stand ex. Pull yourself together!". 😂

Look Anthony really was desperate to know if three years have been kind to Kate’s memory of their night together. It’s pretty clear that she doesn’t resent him for the fact she got pregnant and had no way to contact him so that’s a bit of a relief. But he’d still like to know that she doesn’t… completely hate the memory of him. You know, just for curiosity’s sake. Doesn’t hurt that she is the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and maybe he himself has thought very fondly of her from time to time and maybe wished he’d been in a position for their relationship to have turned out differently. Doesn’t hurt that they have a beautiful incredible, very cheeky son together who tells him what to buy when they want to take Kate a treat to the office when Anthony takes Neddy to meet her for dinner.

“She likes these ones!” Neddy pointed at a bucket of tulips. “These are her best favourites. And these.” Pink roses.

Anthony cleared his throat, “We’ll get a dozen of each please, wrapped together.”

It feels a bit awkward, walking up to the front desk to ask his way to Kate’s office when the receptionist looks curiously between Neddy, who she must know and him: a man she’s never seen before.

Her hand stretched towards the security button and Anthony leapt in quickly. “We’re here to see Kate Sharma, I’m bringing Neddy.”

“Hi!” Neddy said from beside him as the woman’s shoulders relaxed.

“Hi Neddy, I’ll let your Mum know you’re on your way.”

“This is my Anthony!” Neddy grinned proudly making Anthony’s chest swell with pride. “We’re having pasta for my tea!”

“That’ll be yummy I bet Neddy.”

“Yep!”

Anthony could see Kate at the end of the hall as Neddy ran in a little jog that Anthony easily kept up with. Her brow was furrowed as she spoke with someone on the phone her brow furrowed. Anthony caught their son just before he opened the door and hollered.

“Let’s just wait a second, Buddy.”

Neddy waited exactly one second before he kicked the door Open from Anthony’s arms.

“Amma!”

“Neddy!” Anthony gasped, looking apologetically to Kate. “I said we needed to wait, mate!”

Kate laughed, holding out her arms for him. “It’s okay, i just hung up.”

Neddy scrambled down from Anthony’s arms, running to Kate who scooped him up, kissing the top of his head. “I missed you today baby. Did you have fun with Daddy?”

“Yep! We coloured my pictures and Daddy likes Pasta too! And we got you these!”

He gestured for Anthony to bring the flowers forward and he saw a flicker of surprise in Kate’s eyes before she smiled. So beautiful and bright that it stuck in his chest, finding its home there.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

“They’re for pretty girls. Because we’re nice cute boys,”

Kate’s lips twitched in a smirk as she stared at Anthony. “Is that so?”

Anthony shrugged, “What can I say? The kids got it.”

“I remember his Daddy having a little something- something as well.”

“Well, we Bridgerton boys are very handsome. It’s hard to resist us.”

And he could have sworn he heard Kate mutter You’re not wrong.

[comet-forgot-you]

Do you think you could write more for Max Fox? Smut or fluff or whatever cause there's not many fics of her that I can find on here. :(

yes omg, love love love max.

messes

max fox x reader

summary: baking cookies for max always comes with messes

warnings: 18+ pls, smut, fingering, oral, shower sex

a/n: this was supposed to be just fluff but i feel like im really bad at that 😞 this one honestly doesnt have anything too bad, super soft and fluffy at the beginning i think. do not repost for any reason.

max always got what she wanted from you. whether it be a bouquet of her favorite flowers, or a photoshoot of just you in nothing but a pair of underwear and a button up, she always got what she wanted, you were too much of a sucker for her to say no. tonight was no different. all it took was one quiet ‘please’ and slight pout on her lips for you to say yes.

which brought you to where you were now, stood in the kitchen while max sat on the counter, watching as you skillfully mixed the ingredients for cookies together. it was 2 am and max had woken up craving your chocolate chip cookies, causing her to wake you up to plead for you to make some. the house was quiet, and you assumed everyone was asleep, so you tried your best to stay quiet while making the cookies.

“you’re so nice to me,” she mumbles, swinging her feet. a smile tugs at your lips at her praises.

“only cause i love you,” you mumble. a smile breaks out on her face as she tugs your arm. you let her guide you to stand in front of her and she presses a kiss against your lips.

“you’re so cheesy,” she mutters, pulling back slightly. you roll your eyes playfully, pulling yourself away from her.

“fine, guess i’ll have these for myself then,” you joke, placing the dough on the covered cookie sheet.

“baby no, i was just kidding,” she quickly defends. “please let me have some,” she whines. she knows your threat isnt real, but she’s way too tired, and way too hungry to play around about it.

you place the tray of cookie dough in the oven before making your way to max. “you know im just messing with you, don’t take it too seriously,” you say, gently flicking her forehead. she quickly covers it with her hands.

“ow! why did you hit me? i just wanted some cookies! you’re so mean, i’m literally just a girl.” you roll your eyes at her over reaction, pressing a kiss to her lips to shush her. you reach to her side, scooping a little bit of flour out of the bag without her noticing.

you step away quickly, throwing the flour in her face. her jaw drops, “you didn’t” she mutters.

“i did,” you say proudly. it doesn’t take long before the counters and floors are covered in flour, laughs from the both of you loud enough to wake up the entire house, which is what it does.

“oh my god.” sam’s voice carries surprise and disappointment, and both of you turn to face her, laughs instantly stopping. frankie and duke stand on either side of her. sam’s eyebrows are furrowed, you and max look at each other, then back at them before bursting out into even more laughter.

—

the two of you stood in the shower, rinsing the left over flour off of your bodies. it had taken almost 2 hours, and 3 more flour attacks, for you two to finish cleaning up. the early hours of the morning were finally catching up to you. you wrapped your arms around max’s waist, the warm water cascading down your bodies. her back was flush against your front, your thumb tracing the letters of your names on her hip.

“tired?” she asks in a mumble. you nod against her shoulder, pressing kisses against her neck. she lets out a shaky breath at the feeling of your lips against her neck. your hand glides across her wet skin, the sound of shaky breathing and the shower echoing in your head. your hand reaches the heat between her thighs, scissoring your fingers against her folds.

her hips buck into your hand, a needy whine escaping her lips. you circle her clit with two fingers, your teeth sinking into the skin of her neck. you sink your fingers into her cunt, scissoring them ever so slightly. she lets put a quiet moan, grinding against the palm of your hand.

it doesnt take long for her to topple over the edge, her juices coating your fingers as the shower water get colder. you pay no mind to it, pushing her back into the wall and dropping to your knees to lap up the mess between her thighs.

as soon as the two of you are dried off, your lying in bed held in each other’s arms. limbs tangled together as sleep overtakes both of you. neither of you wake up until the early hours of the afternoon, limbs still interlocked with one another.

[shiningstarlight101]

Sparrow becoming a hybrid is both interesting and has scary implications to the entire concept of hybrids

He didn't just become a hybrid, he became a new person. He became completely different.

Aside from the creepy body things like no longer breathing or having camera eyes, he's had a lot of mind-altering changes. Sure, you got the basic things you'd expect. Any copper golem would be more infatuated with copper and buttons than a human.

But it goes so much further than that.

In his own words, he "doesn't fully remember what got him here." He doesn't have full recollection of his human life. He knows mechanical stuff without understanding why he does. He gets upset over his storage, an especially interesting part because the way you organise can say a lot about you. He feels disgusted at the idea of staying at his campsite because of the nature, this is coming from the man who proudly presented his campsite when he first set it up. He literally runs a factory for copper.

Another thing that really interests me is how he's treating Scott. Who is pretty much his only real friend at the moment. It didn't feel like Sparrow treated him the same as before. He showed interest in the living side of Scott (his breathing/sleeping because Sparrow cant do this). But he also tried to steal Scott's axe and blamed him partially for his messy storage as he wanted him to intervene ("how could you let me life like this"). And i feel like human Sparrow would have absolutely ran to Scott the second he became a hybrid, excited to show his new powers off. I think that some of his final words to Scott, "i'm doing hybrid things", "i'm being special like you", are things Sparrow would say. But our current one said this while pushing Scott to leave the area to not bother him.

You can see the old Sparrow still shine through at times but it is also clear that he's so much more, and not in a good way. I think you can see the old Sparrow the best when he says things like "i'm a hybrid now so i can do it." Because he's been hyping up the concept of becoming a hybrid so much. Human Sparrow truely thought being a hybrid would be an amazing, magical thing.

It's like he's a mix between a pure machine and a human. His knowledge, his thought process, his wants, all are closer to that of a machine then the Sparrow we learned to know.

And it makes you wonder, maybe being a hybrid isnt as fun as it seems at first

[folkloresthings]

hello lovely!! can i request NORTHANGER ABBEY with carlos and exes to lovers? thank you 💌

ugh yes??? second chance romance my fave

SECOND CHANCE. ❨ carlos sainz x reader ❩

✩⡱ warnings: slight sexual buildup but no smut

when people asked you what happened between carlos sainz and yourself, you never really had an answer. it had been a strange breakup, one that built and built over months, and then broke in the space of one night. you had wanted different things. you were ready to settle down, get a house, commit to starting a family. but carlos was at the peak of his career — his main focus was on racing. you needed more than he could give.

the actual fight had been a catastrophe. him shouting, you crying, doors slammed. the cool down consisted of him on his knees, grabbing at your legs on the couch, trying to reason. but you knew you couldn’t stay, it was pointless. so you left. you packed your bags and left the next morning. three years, all for nothing.

it had been just over a year since that terrible day, and you hadn’t heard from carlos once. you kept up with his races, still fully supporting him. you didn’t hate each other — and it only made things so much harder.

“come on, you deserve a break!” your best friend insisted, clicking button after button and booking your trip before you could even argue.

monaco. you hadn’t been back since you left carlos, and the prospect scared you. but you braved the memories, distracting yourself with your girlfriends and anything you could. you spent your days on the beach, your nights in clubs and cocktail bars. for some reason, amongst it all, you’d forgotten carlos still lived here.

nipping out one afternoon to pay a visit to your old favourite bakery, your mind was clear. a coffee and your favourite pastry in hand, you were actually happy. enjoying yourself. until you bumped into a figure that smelled an awful lot like your ex—boyfriend.

“mierda, sorry—” he grabbed your forearms, steadying you both. freezing, his eyes meet yours and he falls silent. you can’t stop staring at him, not really believing that he was real. actually there, close enough to touch, for the first time in a year.

“hi.” it leaves you in one breath. carlos smiles, glancing between you and the bakery.

“back for an apple pastry?” he teases and you turn sheepish, cheeks burning. “i didn’t know you were in town.”

“just for a vacation,” you tell him, only realising then that he’s still got a hold of you, chests practically pressed together. you clear your throat, stepping back. you had pictured this moment so many times, what you would say, and now it was done. the moment gone and you wished you could go back and do it a little better.

carlos nods, taking all of you in. you looked… amazing. your skin was glowing, thanks to a few days in the sun. you were still as beautiful as the day he met you. you were even prettier in real life, rather than the images that plagued carlos’ mind every night.

“how long are you here for?” he asks, and your brows raise. you knew where this was going, but you didn’t have the power to stop it.

“until monday.” three more days. “why?”

“no, no reason. maybe we could… catch up? i’ll make you dinner. your favourite pasta,” he offers, blinking down at you with those big brown eyes, and how can you say no?

he’s got a new apartment now, and you’re glad, because you’re not sure you could face the home you shared together. you knock twice before he lets you in, taking your coat and pouring your favourite wine. the pasta he always used to make for you simmers on the stove, the smells taking you back to your date nights together.

“it’s as good as ever,” you tell him after your first bite, nostalgia filling your taste buds. carlos smiles proudly. he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you since you stepped through the door, your cheeks constantly tinted pink.

still, the conversation was flowing like no time had passed, like nothing had happened between you. you’d been together for three whole years, it was easy to fall back into that routine again. a glass of wine or so later, you were curled up on the couch, telling him about everything that happened at christmas — the first christmas he hadn’t been to since you first got together.

somewhere between your mother’s roast potato meltdown and your grandfather’s six glasses of whiskey, his hand had found it’s way to your thigh, warm and big. your breath hitched, eyes warning as they dart to his.

“carlos…” you whisper, feeling yourself slip the closer he gets.

“mi alma,” he counters, his other hand grazing across your brow, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

“we shouldn’t. we can’t,” you insist, but you sound less convincing than you intend. his hot breath ghosts over your lips, his taste so close.

“tell me to stop, and i will,” carlos meets your eyes, wide and pleading. he needs you, he’s needed you for twelve months. “one word and i’m done.”

your lips open, ready to speak, but nothing comes out. you can’t say no, because you don’t want to. any logic is gone from your mind, flooded with a love that never really went away.

in a moment, carlos presses his lips to yours. both of you fall into each other, fall into what you know so well. hands grasping at your clothes, teeth clashing and tongues hot, trying to get impossibly close. it was dizzying. carlos had always been a good kisser, but a starved man savoured his first meal like it was heaven sent.

his hands dipped lower, slipping under your top and to the warm skin underneath. palming at your chest, teasing but desperate, lips dipping to suck at the supple flesh of your throat. he pulls whines from you like an expert, your fingers grasping at the mess of brown locks upon his head. it’s longer now, you like it.

“wait, wait,” you mutter, pushing him back by the chest. so many thoughts running through your head, but it goes blank when he looks at you. pupils blown wide, hair messy, lips wet and swollen. he’s angelic, a sculpture on display in the finest of museums.

carlos finds the hesitation in your eyes and sighs. “i know.”

“what are we doing?” you groan, head falling against his shoulder. his thumb rubs at your back, comforting you coming as second nature. “i can’t just — fuck you and pretend like it never happened. i’ve been trying to get over you for a year now, and this just sets everything back.”

“did you?” he asks, unsure if he wants to know the answer. “get over me?”

“no,” you sigh, answering a little too quickly. “i don’t know if i ever will.”

carlos softens, more so if possible, hands smoothing all over you. “i love you. i always have, i always will. i’ll do whatever it takes, just — can we try again?”

you look at him, his pleading eyes and tight grip. he does love you, you’ve know that in your gut for a while now. he’d loved you so hard when you were together, with everything that he was. just because you broke up doesn’t mean that disappears.

“carlos, we want different things…” you begin into the same argument you had a year ago, and he cuts you off with another kiss.

“i don’t care. i’ll compromise, i’ll do whatever you want. we can get married tomorrow, if it’s what you want,” he professes, cupping your cheeks. you stare at him in shock, his profession of love coming crashing down.

“we’re not getting married tomorrow,” you laugh breathlessly, taking his hands in yours. “but… we can try again tomorrow, start over.”

hope fills him, a bright smile painting his face as he kisses you, again and again. maybe not tomorrow, but he knew he was going to marry you someday. sooner, rather than later.

“i love you so much, carlos.”

“i love you even more, cariño.”

[calinaannehart]

the parts we play - chapter 2

Buck’s fifth day shadowing the 118 is one of those rare days when the bell stays silent.

It gives Buck a chance to learn about the less thrilling aspects of the job, ones that Eddie is sure won’t be included in the movie, but are good for Buck to experience. He works the man hard, giving him job, after job, after job, everything from topping up the engine fluids and polishing the trucks to checking stock and refilling the oxygen tanks. To give Buck his credit he follows every instruction, completes every task Eddie gives him without complaint, and even takes notes, scribbling in a little black notebook that Eddie has noticed him keeping in his pants pocket. 

By mid-afternoon they hadn’t had a single call, all the maintenance chores are done and the crew have dispersed around the station, some working out in the gym, others playing pool or ping pong, and the rest are lounging in the upstairs loft. Hen has out a medical textbook while Eddie and Buck are going head to head on Street Fighter, and they’re evenly matched for wins and losses.

“Bobby always says it’s strange to hope for boring, but we do,” Eddie tells him after Buck has complained about being bored for the fourth time.

“It’s not like I want like a big disaster or something,” Buck laments, sinking back into the cushions of the couch, thumbs mashing the buttons of the gaming control in his hand as his character gets in another punch on Eddie’s. “Just like a cat in a tree or something, anything to just get out of this place.”

“Well, it’s a good lesson for you that being a firefighter isn’t always as exhilarating as people think it is,” Hen pipes in without lifting her eyes from the medical textbook in her hands. “There’s a lot of other parts to the job that people don’t see.”

“Paperwork, polishing the truck, restocking the ambulance,” Chim lists, shoving a fresh piece of chewing gum into his mouth to join the wad already wedged between his teeth. 

“All of which you’ve done today,” Eddie adds, grinning mirthlessly at Buck over the rim of his coffee cup.

“Yeah, and now I hurt in places I didn’t know existed,” Buck grumbles as he kneads at his right shoulder blade as though demonstrating just how sore he is. “I mean, I keep fit, right? I hit the gym, I followed a strict workout regime when I played The Knave, but man, today was something else.”

“And that’s just the in-house stuff,” Bobby chimes in from the kitchen where he’s prepping the crew dinner for that evening. “Imagine how your body would feel after handling all the heavy equipment during a large-scale emergency.”

“Ladders, hoses, saws, jaws,” Chimney rattles off, counting on his fingers. “Axes, Halligan’s, oxygen tanks, spreaders, rams, Jafco’s, med kits, winches—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get the point,” Buck chuckles. “You guys are badass.”

“It’s not about being badass, it’s just a different type of fitness level,” Bobby continues, waving a spatula as he talks. “For you, fitness is about staying healthy and looking good for a particular role. For us, fitness is a matter of life or death, if we don’t develop our strength and endurance to a high enough level we won’t survive.”

The amusement drops quickly from Buck’s face, a somber expression replacing it. “I never thought of it that way,” He admits, looking round at them all in turn. “That’s…that must be a heavy feeling.”

“It’s the life we chose.” Bobby declares proudly. “That’s the firefighting gig for you. We knew the risks when we joined the department, but it’s up to us to minimize those risks as best we can so that we can go home to our families at the end of every shift.”

“Well, I still think you’re all badass.” Buck grins, raising his coffee mug and saluting them all.

“The point is,” Chim lifts his arms over his head, cracking his spine over the back of the couch. “Some days we get all the action and some days are just Q word”

“Q word?” Buck squints in confusion, and Eddie takes advantage of the lapse in concentration to get the upper hand and finally manages to knock out Buck’s character.

“You know,” Buck looks at Chim in time to catch the man lifting a finger to his lips.

“Oh, you mean quie—”

read on ao3

[bensolo-jedi]

I Can Feel You

Pairing: Ben Solo x Rey

Words: 3.7K

Summary/Prompt: Rey and Ben share a force bond that made them closer than anyone else. Leia has a mission to send Rey on, and Ben has his reservations about this mission.

A/N: I haven't posted on this blog/anywhere in like.. 5ish years so pls be kind.

“Ben, I would like you to meet someone.” His mother says, guiding him closer to him. I look back nervously at my parents who give me a reassuring smile. A boy, quite a bit taller than I am, turns around and his eyes move from General Leia to myself. A nervous smile falls on his face before he returns his gaze to his mother. “This is Rey. Her parents brought her here to escape the First Order’s grasp of their planet. I’m hoping that you would be willing to keep her company while I show them around?”

Something flashes on his face, fear? Before you can attempt to place it, it’s gone. “Um. Yes I can do that, mother.” He says politely, clasping his hands in front of him. “Welcome Rey.” He gives you a kind smile, and steps to the side, allowing you access to the building behind him. “This is where I do my Jedi training, would you like to come inside?”

Your eyes light up hearing that he is a Jedi. “You’re a Jedi?” You practically shout at him, struggling to hold back the excitement. Your parents had told you stories of the Jedi, long ago there were so many Jedi that they were seen as the peace keepers of the galaxy. They had different colored lightsabers, and could even more things with their mind.

“I am. So is my mother, and uncle.” He beams proudly, looking between me and his mother.

“Why don’t you two go inside, and I’ll be with your parents, Rey.” General Leia suggests. I nod excitedly and run into the building, Ben following behind.

The room didn’t look quite like I had expected, there weren’t any lightsabers inside or anything huge that a Jedi could move with their mind. It was a large open room, made of some type of stone. The walls are lined with tapestries with symbols I don’t recognize “What do you do in here?” I ask, turning to face Ben again. “This isn’t really what I thought it would look like.” You admit, hoping not to offend him.

“I can show you?” He offers, excitement oozing behind the offer. “I’ve never really shown anyone besides my parents and my uncle.” I see his hand hovering over something attached to his belt, but he makes no move to show me. “But only if you want.” He blurts out, suddenly sounding nervous.

“I would love that!” I cheer, clapping my hands together excitedly. “What can you do?” Just as the words leave my lips, he grabs the item on his belt and presses a button. A blue lightsaber coming to life in front of my very eyes.

“Watch this.” He boasts. Three balls I hadn’t even seen sitting on the ground come to life, and surround Ben. He closes his eyes and takes a breath before the balls start shooting at him. Suddenly, I’m filled with fear for the boy in front of me. But he doesn’t miss a beat, each shot is easily blocked by his lightsaber.

I can’t help but feel proud of the boy standing in front of me. I could have never imagined someone capable of something so impossible, but here he is doing it. “That is amazing!” I cheer, watching him block with ease. Even when the balls start moving around he moves with them, not a single shot making contact with anything but his lightsaber.

After a few minutes of this the balls stop firing shots at him, and he opens his eyes and they finally meet mine for the first time in several minutes. “Ben that is amazing! I’ve never seen anything like that before.” I run over to him, and suddenly feel the urge to hug him. But I know that’s not appropriate for someone he just met.

The biggest smile I’ve ever seen is plastered on his face “I didn’t miss a single one.” He states “I’ve never done that before, normally I miss at least a few!” A sense of pride fills my chest, and I can’t help but hug the boy in front of me. Surprisingly, he hugs me back.

A burst of electricity bolts though me, and I pull away from him unsure what that feeling had been. He stares at me bewilderment written all over his face. “Did you feel that?” I ask, taking a step back, unsure what to make of the situation before me. He nods, but says nothing. “What was that? Did you do it?” Fear is coursing through my entire body. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I’ve never felt anything like that.

“I didn’t do anything.” He defends himself, “Are you okay? Did it hurt you?” He begins looking me over, as if to make sure I’m unharmed.

“Uh-” I think for a second taking account of my body “I don’t think so. I mean, it didn’t hurt. It just-” I pause to think again “I wasn’t expecting it I guess. Did it hurt you?” I question.

“No. It didn’t hurt. I don’t think.” He pauses thinking for a moment “Can you use the force?” His serious tone makes me laugh. Use the force, yeah right! His jaw drops, and he takes a small step away from me.

“What?” I question, not sure what caused the fear. “What did you figure out what that was?”

“I heard your voice.” He tells me, “But your lips didn’t move.”

“What did I say?” I question, this whole situation confusing me more and more by the passing second. What in the galaxy could be going on?

“You said ‘Use the force, yeah right.’” He quotes my thoughts from moments before. “You are using the force.” I want to laugh at his statement, but wouldn’t a Jedi know better than me about the force?

“I can’t use the force.” I demand, not wanting him to be right. But why? Why don’t I want him to be right?

“Because it’s new.” He whispers, stepping closer to me. “Will you try something? It will prove me wrong if it’s not the force.” I nod, not trusting my voice enough to speak. Anything to prove him wrong. I know I can’t use the force, I used to try when I was little and nothing happened then.

“Come sit with me for a minute.” He takes my hand, and leads me to the other side of the large room to soft looking mats. I follow his lead and sit next to him on a mat, making sure to sit like he is. “We’re going to meditate, do you know how to do that?”

“Don’t you just sit there and breathe?” I ask, wondering how hard that could really be.

“Well, that’s the idea.” He chuckles, but shaking his head. “But there is more to it than that. You breathe yes, but you also need to focus. Focus on the energy around you. Can you try that for me?” It doesn’t sound very hard, so I might as well give it a try.

“Yeah I can do that. Are you going to be doing it too?” I ask, hoping he will so he wont be watching me do this. He nods, but doesn’t say anything else fore closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. I decide to follow his lead, and do the same.

At first it doesn’t really feel like I’m doing anything, I just feel a warm breeze coming from the open windows beside us. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough? I shake my head and take another deep breath, resting my palms on my knees like Ben had.

After a few seconds of breathing slowly I start to feel a pull, wondering if it’s what Ben was talking about I give into the pull. Before I know what is happening, I feel like I am seeing something outside of my body. I realize what I’m seeing is the skyline of the city my parents had brought us to. Suddenly I’m seeing a beautiful garden, overflowing with flowers. Then people, but not any two people, it’s us.

I am sitting next to Ben, matching his pose exactly, both of us breathing in unison. That’s when I feel it, the electricity I felt earlier when we had touched. This time it wasn’t so shocking, it felt soothing, like you were safe, home.

“What are you two up to?” A voice calls from a far away place. But it was enough to pull me from the warmth, and I instantly yearned for it to come back to me. I open my eyes and see my mother standing in front of me. I take a look at Ben, wondering if he felt the warmth that I had felt. His eyes were locked on me, and I felt a tiny bit of that warmth again. “Rey?” My mother asks, worry filling her voice.

I turn my attention to my mother, finally realizing that we were no longer alone. “Sorry, I’m okay. Uh-” I shake my head, attempting to gather my thoughts and realize she hadn’t asked if I was okay. “We were meditating. Like the Jedi do.” I tell her, hoping that that somehow made up for my scatterbrain.

“Did you enjoy that?” She questions, smiling between the two of us. I nod up at her, wishing she would leave so that I could go back to the warm place with Ben.

---

“Rey.” A voice whispers from beside me. “Rey, wake up we are going to be late.” My eyes shoot open and I turn to look at Ben who is still in bed next to me, but clearly more awake than I am. “Good morning.” He beam, brushing a few strands of hair out of my face.

“Good morning.” I whisper back to him. “How late did I sleep in today?” I take a glance at the clock on the wall noticing it’s already eight in the morning. “Ben! You turned off my alarm?” I jump out of bed, narrowly missing the stand beside the bed.

“Hey! I didn’t turn anything off, someone forgot to turn their alarm on last night.” He laughed, getting out of bed, with more grace than I had ever possessed in my life. “Don’t worry, we don’t have to be there until nine this morning. My mother had a meeting start about half an hour ago, I knew we would have enough time to get ready so I let you sleep in.” He defended himself, following me to the closet.

I shuffle through my uniforms, looking for the newest one General Leia had given me not two days ago. “Where is it?” I huff, not finding the right one. I turn around and see Ben holding it up on the hanger I had taken out last night for this exact reason. “Oh.” I mumble in embarrassment, taking the hanger from him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He laughs, and starts looking through the closet for the outfit he wants to wear today. He is one of the lucky few that can get away without wearing a uniform around base as everyone knows who he is. The rest of us have identification attached to our uniforms. I probably could get away with not wearing my uniform at this point, but it felt wrong not wearing the same clothing my co-workers wore.

After ten years with the Resistance, a large portion of that dating the General’s son, I was about as well known as they were. It still didn’t make it fair to not need the same clothing as everyone else. Even General Leia wears her identification, which if I’m being honest it a large part of why I continue to wear mine. Ben can tell me as often as he wants that it’s not needed, but I’ll never not wear it.

I take my time in the bathroom this morning, trying to get my hair just right and making sure my makeup covers the stress acne that’s been showing up since I started my new job. Being in charge of over thirty undercover rebels is a taxing job, but one I wouldn’t trade for the world. General Leia had gotten me the job, despite her wanting me to train more with Ben and Luke, I knew I was needed on base more than off training.

After around twenty minutes in the bathroom, I step out and see Ben waiting for me a huge grin covering his face. “I like when you wear your hair like that.” He pulls me into a hug, and places a few kisses on my neck. “It reminds me of the day I met you. You were wearing it like that then.” I wrap my arms around him, enjoying his touch thinking about the dream I had the night before.

“I dreamt of that day last night.” I tell him, smiling at the memory. The feeling I felt that day meditating with him had only grown over the years. We had met in secret for several months, meditating together and even practicing talking to each other through the force a few times before being caught by General Leia.

She was of course the first person to realize what was going on between us, she could feel the connection between us and got my parents permission to meet her brother, Luke. He had confirmed what General Leia had suspected, that Ben and I share a force bond something that isn’t commonly found between force users.

I trained with Master Luke a handful of times over the years, but I was never truly comfortable with him. He had never been shy about telling General Leia I was a distraction to Ben, even going so far as to ask her to take him off world permanently to separate us. Luckily she never saw our bond that way, she always helped us strengthen our bond, and eventually she became my mentor in the ways of the force.

She made it clear to my parents and I in the beginning that she could only teach me so much as she wasn’t as trained in the ways of the force as Master Luke, but she knew I felt safer with her and that’s what matters.

“One of the best days of my life.” Ben mumbles still holding me close to his body. “I will never forget that day.” His fingers begin playing with one of my braids and I take this moment to breathe before the long day ahead of me.

Mine too. I think making sure he could hear me through the force. It’s not often I choose to talk to him through the force, but some times it’s easier. “We have to get going now, don’t we?” I ask, not really wanting to leave, but knowing that being late to a meeting with his mother wouldn’t look good for me.

“Mhm.” he murmurs, slowly pulling away from me. “Let’s get you there, Admiral.” He laughs, knowing I dislike my official title, or rather when he uses it.

“Don’t call me that!” I slap his chest and start for the door. “You know I don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He puts his hands up in mock defense, following me out the door. “But you’re just too cute when you’re embarrassed.” My face turns red as Lieutenant Connix rounds the corner and smirks, obviously hearing our conversation.

“Good morning Admiral Rey, Master Solo.” Kaydel nods her head at both of us as she passes. We returned her greeting and kept walking.

Once she was out of ear shot I spin around and glare at Ben. Our relationship was well known by everyone, but that didn’t mean I liked making a show of it. “No more of that, I need to be taken seriously. I need to be more than the General’s son’s girlfriend.” I give him a pleading look, hoping that he will understand and not take this as me being ashamed of him.

No such luck. A pained look crossed his face for just a moment, but then as neutral as could be. “I understand, I’m sorry.” The quiver in his voice physically pained me, which could have been from the force bond if I’m being honest. Lately we’ve been able to feel each other's emotions as well as physical feelings.

“Ben.” I stop in the middle of the corridor and fully face him. “I didn’t mean it like that. You know how proud I am to be yours, but a few people feel as though I only got my position because I’m dating you. I want to be able to say confidently that I got this job on my own, not because of my personal relationships.”

I can’t help but think back to oveReyring Azah, another candidate for my position, telling her friends that the only reason I got my job was because I slept with the boss. As if Ben had any say so over who his mother hired, anyone with a brain knew General Leia would never decide something so important based on who is dating her son. If it were that simple there wouldn’t have been candidates, I would have just been given the job no questions asked.

“Who said that to you?” His mood shifted so suddenly it almost scared me, but I realized instantly that I had been projecting my feelings, and thoughts which let Ben hear what Azah had said. “Nobody gets to speak to you like that!” He demanded.

“Ben, it’s not that big of a deal. I can handle myself. Besides, she didn’t say it to me. I just oveReyrd her complaining to her friends after I was given the job.” Calming him down when it comes to me is no easy task, he has always been protective of me, sometimes to a fault. But when it comes to this job I need to be able to take care of myself, or nobody will take me seriously.

“It is a big deal. Anyone with that kind of mindset has no business working for my mother, not only is that moronic thinking derogatory in terms of my mother and her capabilities as a General, but you. Nobody gets to speak about you like that.” His anger was radiating off him, literally. Anyone with eyes could see how angry he is, but I can feel the anger.

“Ben. You need to calm down, please. We are going to see your mother, if she sees you like this she will bring up sending you to your uncle again. Please calm down.” I’m doing my best to send calming energy to him, but he isn’t making it easy. General Leia had brought up a handful of times that she is worried about how quick he is to anger, and she thinks Master Luke would be able to help him with that, but what nobody not even General Leia understands is how much worst that would be for him.

The few times he had been sent, without me, to see his uncle his anxiety had been so bad that it usually took weeks for him to get back to his normal self once he was home. It kills me to see him like that, he is always so exhausted once he returns I can’t bear to see him like that again. “Please.” I beg him one more time, reaching my hand for his.

As soon as his hand was in mine it’s like the anger just vanished, he isn’t happy but the has clearly dissipated. “Thank you.” I whisper, smiling at him hoping to get one in return. Anything for you.

We make our way to General Leia’s office, and wait until she lets us inside. “Oh, Ben.” She smiles nervously “I hadn’t realized you would be joining Rey this morning.” She glances between us, like she has more to say but nothing comes out.

“Is it okay that I’m here? I’ve always accompanied Rey to her meetings with you.” He defends himself. I can feel a bout of anxiety building up in him, so I brush my hand against his. A subtle gesture I’m able to do to help calm him, most people don’t notice but of course his mother does.

“No of course you can join us. I just hadn’t thought about it I suppose.” She clearly took note of my gesture and knew what was going on, neither of us being able to be the cause of tension for him.

None of us say anything for a moment while we are getting situated in her office. After a minute she glances at me and gives me a look of pity. “What happened?” I ask instantly, knowing something was wrong.

“Nothing has happened.” She reassures me quickly “But I have something that I need you to do for me. I don’t trust anyone else enough with this.” Her glances between Ben and I only added to my nerves.

“Of course, anything for you. What do you need from me?” There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to help the Resistance, especially for General Leia.

“We’ve gotten a hint at a possible base of operations for the First Order.” She tells us slowly, looking at Ben, presumably trying to gage his reaction to the mention of the First Order. Their leader, Snoke, had been trying to get his hands on Ben for several years now.

I nod, hoping she will continue. “The Kyuzo who is offering the information only knows limited basic, so we need someone who speaks Kyuzo. You are the only one I know, and trust, that speaks Kyuzo. Would you be willing to travel to meet him?” Her tone was almost pleading, as if I could say no to her. Even if I wanted to the idea of helping find a First Order base was too exciting to pass up.

“Why can’t he use a translator?” Ben demands, looking between his mother and I like we are insane. “They make those for a reason. Why would this Kyuzo only know enough basic to offer a hint, something isn’t adding up!”

(Part 2)(Masterlist)

[speciosuspoematis]

@draikoeques asked: "I know not why Ishgard retains its demand for posh events despite everything. The people are still obnoxious in their gossip and the outfits are so..." He gestures aimlessly with a hand, huffing. Rothalion pauses as he reaches the button of his dress shirt that rested at his collarbone, instead releasing it and even unbuttoning two beneath it. No, he would go to this event but he would go with at least some manner of comfort... he already could not go in his armour nor clothing he found far more flattering to his figure. Instead he reaches to button up the black vest he wore atop the shirt, said vest low enough to still expose his broad chest openly to the air. "Hydaelyn preserve me, I hope we are not forced to mingle long," he admits, shaking his head as he ran a hand down the front of his attire. The event in question was important to attend, Cyvel especially a representative for his House and Rothalion more than happy to join him in shared misery. He did, though, have some ideas to pass the time when most would otherwise be too distracted to notice anyone missing. Rothalion closes the distance between them, reaching out to rest his hands on Cy's hips and leaning to nuzzle his neck. "Question, love... Would you be opposed to some... mischief... later?" he mused quietly, smirking as eyes flick to peek up at him. "I was thinking... There are so very many rooms in that manor, and many people far happier to chat over us. Come the end of some mingling, perhaps you would join me in a room in secret... Maybe we can have a little bit of fun, hmmm?"

To say he was flabbergasted at the suggestion would have been quite the understatement.

Evenings of grandeur, of pecocking and mingling aimlessly were very much still some of Cyvel's most anxiety-inducing predicament, but he had long come to accept their general importance in the ways of Ishgard and her traditions. To hold one's head high as the lead of a house was an honour, that wasn't lost on Cyvel, and to wear such with pride and to speak of one's claims was important - in its own right. The only difference was, Cyvel did so for the betterment of the future, not to build up his own person 'pon an untouchable pedestal.

Whether one saw him as the last of the Montrohain line or the continuation of the Lamoureaux, the poet didn't particularly care. He chose to leave behind that family name in favour of his mother's because it felt right to do so. The Montrohain family had been a long line of proud knights and dragoons dating back to before the war, it felt right to let it die out as the war had. But this? This was the first gathering since Cyvel had completely overhauled every business under his name, the way his home ran, the charities within the Brume, the complex notions he had out in place to easily support such things while having a comfortable amount still turned into vaults for himself.

This was the first time he would be able to proudly talk about what he had achieved, for the good of the people - - not in the ways of past, doubtful, endeavours. It was... Important to him and he rather liked to think that perhaps his mother would have been proud, that he had turned things around as he had. Even if it meant sitting at a seat in the House of Lords, uncomfortably opposite the Count de Dzemael.

He'd spent some time choosing what to wear, had begun the evening in his same shy and nervous state, but found immensely great comfort in his loves presence. That was, until the unexpected suggestion met his ear and, frankly he rather didn't know how to react. Stunned and staring into his glass of champagne for but a few heartbeats, Cyvel had to mentally check that he had heard right before turning his pale gaze to his love. Speechless.

"Here-?!" He finally whispers, attempting to keep his expression entirely neutral lest someone glance over and think the two up to something, nested in the corner as they were. "Good Heavens, Ro--" He'd never even had the thought enter his head, not when he had been raised in a rather particular manner, as many of those in Ishgard had been. "I - - isn't that - -" He couldn't get his words out, now having to turn to look out the window les someone call over to question his confusion. It was a social event, after all.

"-- I... Don't think I could be comfortable doing something like that." He finally whispers very quietly, raising the glass of champagne to his lips to muffle his words just enough so that only the two could hear. It felt almost... Disrespectful to even think of doing, and that was likely due to Cyvel's upbringing. How different it was, he'd long fount out, to the wider world.

[rjalker]

Update 5/31/23, literally the day before Pride month starts: They just banned me from the forums for asking not to be misgendered, and hid my posts where I ask the person misgendering me to stop.

While they actively refuse to remove the two posts where someone is purposefully and knowingly misgendering me.

original post:

The iNAturalist staff hid this post because it's "inapropriate" and "hateful"

"https://forum.inaturalist.org/t/moderation-decisions-about-several-posts-in-the-lgbtqia-thread/42122/41"

"I hit the wrong button and posted it here instead. Oh well. Keep it here. Hiding all of our responses to this incident in another thread is literally part of the problem and is just more bigotry.

Astra_the_dragon said: also… there is a difference between feelings and saying? you can think that “it” is an acceptable pronoun, but choose not to use it / find a workaround for personal reasons. this is totally different than arguing that “it” is not an acceptable pronoun at all. and nobody is forcing anyone to use a pronoun… technically, you can use no pronouns: eg “Astra made a good point in Astra’s post”. it sounds silly but is grammatically correct.

“finding a workaround” to using someone’s pronouns is misgendering. Why are you people refusing to understand this.

No, you cannot use no pronouns for me. I do not use nameself pronouns. My pronouns are it/its.

If you were saying this about literally any other trans person you’d all know this is misgendering.

At this point you just need to admit you don’t support nonbinary people and you only support LGBT people if we’re not Too Queer™ for our oppressor’s comfort.

(random user whose name I forgot) from the perspective of someone who uses the pronoun it, is it any less disrespectful to say “I can’t use this pronoun because it conflicts with my own core beliefs, and if i refer to you in the third person, i will use your name instead of any pronoun”?

No, it’s not less disrespectful. Refusing to use my pronouns is misgendering me. I’ve said this half a dozen times now (Not mad at you, I’m mad at the mods/staff who are all refusing to listen because they care more about coddling the feelings of cis people than respecting the identity of trans people)

Astra_the_dragon said: it’s all in the context. and online, you can never be sure.

how about you not speak over me. We are not talking about a hypothetical person who uses it/its pronouns. I am the one being misgendered. I am literally right here. Just because you also use it/its pronouns does not mean you get to speak over me.

Tiwane (paid iNaturalist staff) said: I split this from another topic. Maybe that was a bad decision,

Yes, it was a bad decision because this is not just about moderation. It’s literally about transmisia on the part of other users and the staff. It should literally be remerged so it doesn’t look like you’re hiding our responses to this, which is what it looks like since all of our posts responding to the issue after it was opened again were removed from the original thread to put them here.

You are literally all not listening. We are not asking you to moderate every single post that appears.

We are asking you to remove exactly two posts that purposefully misgender me. Whether you think it “technically counts” as misgendering or not does not matter. You are literally not the ones being targeted. How many other users have spoken up at this point? And you’re choosing to ignore all of them, and me, because you’d rather split hairs and debate the definition of misgendering and pretend that misgendering out of selfishness is definitely not hate speech.

Your opinions literally do not matter! Remove both of Sedgequeen’s posts where she says she is going to refuse to use my pronouns! If she’s going to refuse to use my pronouns, then fine! I literally cannot force her to! And that is literally not the issue! The issue is she is literally proudly announcing she is going to misgender me and you people think leaving those posts up for me, and every other trans person who comes to the thread to see, is okay.

We are not demanding everyone magically change their minds and not misgender anyone. We are demanding that the iNaturalist staff do their jobs and remove exactly two posts that encourage hate speech. If Sedgequeen isn’t going to use my pronouns, fine, I’ll fucking block her and warn people that she doesn’t respect trans people if you’re Too Queer About It.

You fucking people – and don’t you dare tell me I’m being too aggressive for swearing when you’re still refusing to listen to any of us after days of being repeatedly told what the problem is – are not listening.

Listen.

Remove both of Sedgequeen’s posts where she announces she is not going to use my pronouns.

Apologize for not removing them sooner.

Apologize for not listening to your users.

Apologize for tone policing.

Apologize for treating both sides as equally wrong when we are literally talking about bigotry.

Apologize for repeatedly and insesantly ignoring and speaking over the trans and ally users who have repeatedly explained to you what the problem is so you can instead spout off bad-faith ridiculously exaggerated pretend versions of our arguments to shoot down instead because you’re literally refusing to hear a single word of what we are actually asking:

Literally judging every single piece of content for appropriateness

iNat has no police force monitoring every single thing that is said in every discussion we host.

(Like, are you serious? Are you serious? You’re getting paid to do this and this is the best response you can come up with?

“Can you remove these two specific bigoted posts?”

“WHY DO YOU WANT US TO BECOME A FASCIST SURVEILLANCE STATE?!?!?!”

[Plain text: “Why do you want us to become a fascist surveillance state?!” End plain text.]

This is literally what you people are doing

if you ask us to do our jobs doesn't that mean you want us to be fascists1920×2457 213 KB

[ID: A cartoon penguin saying “If you ask us to remove two specific bigoted posts, doesn’t that mean you…” Then shouting in all caps, “Want us to become a fascist surveillance police state?!” with many exclamation marks and question marks. End ID.]

Like how about you all stop caring more about the feelings of cis people for five seconds and actually listen to what your users are telling you? How about you listen to the person who is literally being misgendered? I am literally the victim here but all you people want to do is pretend I don’t exist and that I should have to “compromise” on my own existance.

You are literally asking trans people to compromise on our identities in your thread that’s supposedly dedicated to LGBTQIA+/Queer users.

How are you still typing up more bigoted responses and not ashamed to the point of tears? Do you not understand how ridiculous you are all being? You were asked to do one thing. But you refuse to do your jobs and refuse to uphold your company’s promise to be inclusive and welcoming, and now you’ve made this whole thing into a giant mess when it literally didn’t need to be.

I’m now going to have to warn people I meet that iNaturalist isn’t actually welcoming to trans people because the staff would rather coddle the feelings of cis people than do the most basic aspect of their jobs.

Stop talking and actually listen. You have half a dozen users telling you what you’re doing is wrong but you refuse to listen.

@astra_the_dragon full offense. You are literally siding with the transmisics right now and you seem proud to do it. How about you stop pretending your identity as a trans person on the moderation team trumps the multiple trans users who have come forward to tell you all why what you’re doing is a problem. Having one trans person on the moderation team does not magically mean the moderation team is not being transmsic. You are one person and your goals of compromise over conflict do not reflect the values of the community, and they especially do not reflect my values as the person literally being misgendered.

Just because you also use it/its pronouns in combination with others does not mean you get to speak over and speak for me and tell me that I have to be okay with being misgendered because you’d be fine with it.

We are not talking about you. We are talking about me, and all the other trans people who understand that fighting back for equality and real respect is more important than endlessly compromising to make the cis people happy.

It doesn’t matter if you’re willing to compromise on your it/its pronouns. You do not get to demand that others also be okay with letting ourselves be misgendered. You can compromise all you want. It’s not going to stop them from targeting you, too, when they’ve decided you’ve crossed a line and are now Too Trans To Deserve Respect™.

“We can never throw enough people overboard to win approval from our enemies.”

-Leslie Feinberg, Transgender Warriors: making history from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman

Stop throwing me overboard by demanding I compromise on my identity and start actually sticking up for trans people.

Actually listen to what your trans and ally users or saying or stop pretending you care about us and our rights. If your response to this post is to further double down and defend blatant exorsexism, transmisia, tone policing, and victim blaming, you’ll be proving to everyone that iNaturalist’s “commitment” to inclusivity is just as shallow and performative as any other corporation’s.

***This conversation is not about you, the staff, as individuals.*** You are supposed to represent iNaturalist as a whole. Your personal feelings on the matter do not matter. Not when it comes to defending bigotry on a thread literally meant to be safe for us. Put aside your personal hurt feelings and do the jobs you get paid for. Remove the two posts where Sedgequeen announces she’s going to misgender me. And then apologize.

Or just admit you don’t actually care about or support trans people.

There is no third option. It didn’t have to get to this point but you all prioritizing your feelings over the facts has brought us here. You brought this on yourselves by caring more about the feelings of cis people than protecting trans people. There is no excuse for your behavior.

The only option left to you is to do what your users have been asking you to do for almost a week now, by removing the two specific posts, and now you have to publically apologize on top of that. You could have just done the bare minimum from the start and this literally wouldn’t be a problem.

In fact you could have literally done nothing from the start and that would have been better than what you did, and what you are continuing to do. The discussion had already moved on. The community that was active in the thread had already called out the bigotry. You literally could have done nothing, but you chose to side with the bigots and continue to do so.

When it comes to bigotry, you do in fact have to pick a side. There is no middleground between respecting trans people and supporting misgendering."

[narrators-journal]

mm, you can have some more freedom with this, yuma with either ryuji, yusuke, or ryoji. ur given kinks r 7, 11, and 13 (:

I! Don’t know if this quite counts as Voyeurism? Or semi-public sex? But I think it does at least VAGUELY. Sadly, I don’t have the mental energy tonight to go back and strengthen those vibes. Not my strongest, but I hope it’s fun nonetheless!

Kinktober prompt list: Here

Kinktober masterlist: Here

CW: Use of toys, they go out to a cafe, so I’m counting that as public, and the waitress is vaguely aware of their shit at least, so lil bit of voyuerism/exhibitionism too!

Yuma Fujioka had ended up with a hilarious contrast with his two partners. Where he was a confident, sexually creative, flirt, Ryuji Sakamoto and Yusuke Kitagawa were both far more skittish with trying more adventurous acts. So, when Yuma finally got the two to agree to a lewd outing, it already had him semi-hard. “Are you two sure you wanna try this? You remember the rules?” He asked, watching the artist and runner he proudly called his boyfriends. Both with pink dusting their cheeks as they straightened their clothes and shifted on their feet. “Yeah, I- um, just, yeah.” Ryuji assured, giving the shorter man a smile as Yusuke just nodded, fiddling with the buttons of his white shirt. “Though...i-if we aren’t into it?” He asked quietly as Yuma made sure each of their remotes had batteries in them. “You just have to say ‘red light’, real easy. If you do, I’ll stop and you can go to the bathroom to take the toy out, okay?” When the men nodded, he smiled. “Now! Let’s go get some lunch, hm?”

With that, the three set off for a fun, themed cafe to try. The color never left Ryuji nor Yusuke’s cheeks, in fact, only growing worse after Yuma stuck his hands into his coat’s pockets to flick the vibrators onto their lowest setting. Grinning and snickering when Yusuke froze and Ryuji yelped a bit. “Do you really need to turn them on while we’re walking?!” Ryuji hissed, his face as red as an apple, and his voice shakey with stifled mewls or moans. Which did little but encourage the tiger with a zip of pleasure through his blood. “Don’t worry, ‘yuji. I’ll keep them on the lowest settings. Promise.” he offered with his sweetest smile to cover up the lustful spark of mischief in him. Returning the embarrassed, conflicted glares with sugary innocence while his boyfriends looked between one another, then back at him before cracking. “Fine,” Yusuke sighed, “I suppose this is the point of this lewd game. Might as well play.” “Exactly! Now come on!” Was Yuma’s chirp, grabbing them both by the hand to pull them into the nearest cutesy, pink maid’s cafe. Not for any particular reason, as he fully intended to torment them more once they were sat at one of the tables.

After all, watching Yusuke squirm in his chair as the toy vibrated inside of him, the copper-haired tiger couldn’t help but turn the controls on the remote a setting higher. Watching as the dark-haired artist tried to keep his face from turning four different shades of red or noise from slipping out while Ryuji seemed to be praying to Philemon, Nyarlethotep, or even Yaldaeboth for the strength to not give himself away. “Are you two okay, so far?” Yuma hummed sweetly, getting glared at again by the pair from across the cafe’s table. “You’re the devil,” Yusuke whispered, hiding his face in his hands as he spoke, “I love you, Yuma, but he’s kinda right…You’re an effin’ succubus.” Ryuji agreed, a moan cracking his voice despite his best attempts. All the while, the redhead beamed proudly at them. Only responding to their humiliated anger with turning up Ryuji’s toy to draw out another moan from him to feed the personal fire of desire in his belly before the waitress came over to their table. “Hello! How may I be of service to you, today?” She chirped to the new customers, so Yuma hummed and looked over their menu as his dates did the same. Trying their best to not give away their lewd positions. However, a glance at them from across the table still showed them fighting down the pink hues on their cheeks, much to the thrill of the redhead. “Mmmm. I think I’ll have the pancakes. What about you two?” he asked, smiling at his companions as they faked pouring over the menu for a lengthy moment. Until, finally, Yusuke got up the courage to speak, “U-um...same as him.” clearing his throat after his voice cracked, Ryuji just muttering out, “Coffee, please.” All while the maid kept her smile, but did give the pair an odd look before she left to put their orders in.

With her gone, the red-haired boy smiled back at his boyfriends. Getting another small thrill out of watching them squirm in the cafe chairs in awkward silence. The silence not helped when Yuma briefly turned the toys inside them up to the highest speed, earning hisses and gasps from them before he returned the vibrators to the lowest setting to keep them from orgasming so soon. “Yuma Fujioka.” Yusuke hissed, his face as red as a ripe strawberry as his light grey eyes narrowed at the redhead, “You are going to make me...y’know.” “I’m gonna what?” The man prompted coyly, smirking at the artist as he watched him try to find a covert way to word his impending orgasm. An attempt he failed at, judging from his defeated and annoyed huff before turning his attention to twisting up and ripping apart a napkin. “Don’t you think this is a little too risky? You’re gonna get us caught.” Ryui warned, the shake of his voice making the tiger chuff. “You won’t get caught, no one can hear the toys. Besides, it’s not fun if it’s not a challenge~” Yuma reminded, admittedly just to be a little extra evil on top of turning the toys up another setting until the waitress returned with their orders.

However, while Yuma’s pancakes were perfectly fine, with the average amount of whipped cream and syrup, and Ryuji’s coffee seemed untouched by the curse of cutesy clumsiness, Yusuke’s order was little more than a mountain of sugary cream and thick syrup that had the waitress scuffing her foot shamefully into the tile floor. “I...am sorry sir. I suppose I messed up your order a bit. Please don’t be mad.” The woman said, Yuma watching as the artist debated what to do. To ask for it to be fixed, or to tolerate the mistake was a hard decision to make while Yuma was slowly increasing the speed of his toy more and more. “U-um…” Yusuke squeaked out, turning redder as he pushed himself to continue through the shake of his words, “It’s fine.” He decided, Ryuji focusing on his coffee as the artist panted, trying to keep his composure the more Yuma messed with his remote to alternate the speed of the vibrator ruthlessly feeding the lust Yuma could see in the artist’s eyes.

However, his feeble attempts to hide his crumbling composure didn’t seem to entirely fool the suspicious waitress. “Are you sure, sir? I can fix it if you’d prefer.” “Y-yes.” He tried in a steadier voice, digging out a pancake to cut a bite free and show her he was, in fact, willing to eat the sugary mess of a breakfast dish. So, with no further reason to question him, she left again to tend to her other tables. Leaving Yuma to turn his emerald eyes to Ryuji.

The athletic blonde had been left well enough alone for a while now, keeping his complaints to himself and keeping his mind on other things to suppress the lewd noises threatening to come out with each movement or shift. But it would be unfair of the tiger to ignore one of his partners for the other. So, with his hands still in his pockets, he increased the speed of Ryuji’s toy just slightly to watch him jolt and wriggle in his chair. “Remember, don’t cum in public. That’d be humiliating.” The tiger reminded quietly, finally turning the toys completely off again so he could eat without the temptation and his partners could get control of themselves before the waitress called the authorities. “Honestly, I’ve got to commend you two for lasting this long. Kinda expected you two to cum by now.” He hummed, eating his pancakes as Yusuke scraped the whipped cream off of his. “I’ll be happier to hear that when you aren’t tormenting us.” Ryuji huffed, making the redhead giggle evilly. “You agreed to it, you can’t blame me for enjoying it.” He argued, making both of his boyfriends roll their eyes. Yet, Yusuke had gotten enough attention, so he kept his complaints to himself. The thriving copper-haired persona user leaning forward with another coy smirk, “Besides, admit it. You two are enjoying my ‘torment’. Otherwise, you’d use the safeword already~”

That point got the pair to bashfully avoid his eyes, Ryuji muttering into his coffee cup while Yusuke just jabbed at the syrup-soaked mush of pancakes on his plate, making Yuma chuckle. But, taking a bit of mercy on the pair, he left his teasing there for the time being. Letting them eat and recollect themselves with only the odd buzz from the toys to keep himself, and them, at least slightly riled up as they enjoyed their outing. Always making sure that, despite the constant simmer of lust, their climaxes were kept away. Until they got home, at least.

I’m never gonna be able to do this again.

[bananna-threads]

For this shirt, I was first inspired by a portrait of Elizabeth I that I came across in the chapter on blackwork in The Royal School of Needlework's "Book of Embroidery." In the portrait (below) she has gorgeous sleeves covered in floral blackwork embroidery.

I loved the intricate fill patterns that varied from flower to flower, and wanted to do my own take on that--with eyes instead. Worked in a single thread of black DMC floss, I came up with 8 unique eye shapes, which are repeated across the two mirrored sleeves. Each eye was outlined with a stem stitch, and then filled with various patterns from the blackwork stitch bank in the aforementioned book. I added lines, small "eye slivers", and dots in between to give the appearance of birch tree bark. 

The embroidery I am extremely proud of. I put in a lot of hours (200+?) to finish those, and I think the design turned out really cool! The shirt as a whole...is a different story, which I'll get into...

...NOW! I want to preface this by saying, I had never pattern drafted anything before, and even more than that, I had done practically 0 research before giving it a try. Probably not the best idea considering I was putting so many hours into making these cool sleeves. 

Anywho, I started by getting the VikiSews Rosaria dress, but basically just used it as as what I now know is called a "bodice block" lol

 

• I disregarded the skirt portion of the dress pattern, lengthened the bodice, and wrapped the raw edge with bias tape

• Created my own slight bishop sleeve by taking a basic sleeve pattern I had lying around, cutting off the bottom quarter, flaring it out, and then using the bottom quarter as a cuff pattern piece.

• Attached loops and buttons to the cuffs.

• Removed the back zipper seam allowance and just cut the back piece on the fold.

• Raised the neckline and created a tall mandarin collar piece which I attached.

• Reduced the size of the darts for a less full bust

 

I did all of this out of bedsheets first as a mockup. It had fit issues then, but I was too unskilled to know how to fix them so I just...didn't? Ugh I am kicking myself now. I also made the mistake long ago of cutting out the sleeves before I started embroidering them. If I had been smart, I would have just drawn a basic sleeve shape on a rectangle of fabric and then embroidered within the lines, that way, it would be easy to change the shape later, plus, I wouldn't have had to deal with my embroidery hoop slipping out whenever I was working close to an edge, which was pretty much EVERYWHERE! Lesson learned.

You may be asking "what fit issues? It looks fine in the picture!" That's the magic of taking multiple photos and choosing the best one. Sorry to deceive you all 😔

It's hard to share this because I'm a bit embarrassed by it, but I'm doing this in the spirit of transparency 😭. This is what it looks like in the glaring light of day:

There is this crease extending from the armpit to the bust that never goes away, the sleeves are too short so I can barely lift my arms above shoulder height, the collar kind of chokes me whenever it's fully buttoned but also never lays straight, and the cuffs should have a slit past the innermost button so that it can overlap more smoothly--instead I have this little lump:

All this to say, I am so appreciative that all you folks like the design. Thank you for your lovely comments and praise! I guess part of my reason for typing this all out is to give you a peak behind the curtain. I know I always appreciate it when a creator/artist/crafter shares their struggles so I know that they're fallible just like me. 

One day, I hope to give these sleeves a new home on a properly fitted shirt, so that I may wear them proudly. Today is sadly not that day (I've got other shit to finish--I'm looking at you queen mattress 👁👁)

Struggle on my fellow crafters!!! STRUGGLE ON!

Hand embroidered, self drafted, birch tree inspired buttonup shirt.

[not-that-complicated]

Back

Warning rant because this is just for me

I think sometimes I will always be the same no matter how much I grow. Do we all feel that way? I finally did it. I moved. I had to admit that staying in the same small town I grew up in was not making me happy. Let me be clear, this isn’t where I do the whole trash the town, pull out my verbal pitchfork and toss every single person I know under the bus. We have to be real, it is mindset. People, will always but just that, people. That includes the good, the bad and the ugly. It is okay if we outgrow them and it is okay if we just don’t fit places anymore, because sometimes we don’t. We are who we surround ourselves with, that is success, growth, and even, failure. So beware. 

This is a lesson I learned way too many times. This does not make me better, it makes me human. I’m just kind of proud of myself now. I just really miss my Grampa. I stayed and I wanted to make a place and a life that wasn’t meant for me work because he was there. Unfortunately that also meant awful repeats of so many bad habits. I would get on track with a good pattern and true to myself I would tear it all down (Thanks BPD self sabotage). I still hate the city but I am close enough it works...and hey, commuting isn’t so bad. 

 I am also learning that even the things we want are work. I love what I do, and I got in at the place I wanted...but holy wow. Side note, new places are cliquey. That’s okay too. I can just work hard, focus on my tasks (Because I know what I am doing), I can also take this as a period of learning because the people around me are also knowledgeable. My work will speak for itself. I get to go home at the end of the day, and most importantly, I am there to make a difference for kids.

The most ironic thing is, I never wanted kids. Now my whole life revolves around tiny humans. I love them so much. I work with them, and man even the hardest days have so many powerful moments that make it so worthwhile. There is no bad kids. I am a very proud step mom. I adore the tiny humans who I get to see every week. It is so much fun. When I moved, we go tot give them each their own room, they were squished in one room at their Dad’s before and they have other siblings at their Mom’s. So I took the time to specially decorate each of their rooms.  The little boy is so much fun, the other day he ran upstairs and put on the button up skull pattern shirt I bought him and came downstairs to proudly tell me “I wanted to match you!” Then the little girl had lost a tooth and I guess between coming from her Mom’s with her littlest Brother, the Tooth Fairy didn’t make a stop, so I told her that parents could call and that I would call her and explain. That night I wrote up a letter and sprinkled glitter around to leave the letter and some tooth money. The next morning she was so happy. It is the little things that matter. I also have two teenaged boys I am fighting to get Kinship care for, and it is not so easy. I have never loved so fiercely which is saying a lot if anyone has ever read past posts or knows me. Loving a child is something special. Blood or no, those boys are mine and I care so much.

I think that was the hardest part about my move, leaving the boys. It has been almost two months and while they call and message (even keeping in contact despite a mishap with my phone dying in a washing machine) it isn’t the same. The older one turns 15 next month and I will literally walk through flames to make a visit happen. I want to be there for his Birthday. I want to make sure he gets something and knows he is loved. I told them that this would be hard, but I will continue to do my best to stay strong for them, and be positive. I clean more than I ever have because my home will absolutely PASS inspection. I will make sure this is the absolute best home. For them and for my little kiddos. I want them all safe and  I want them happy.

When I left, I also decided I just didn’t want contact with a lot of family. I knew from a while it was pretty one-sided. And ultimately, my only real connection with a parent was with my Grampa. He tried so hard to foster a relationship between me and my parents, he made sure I knew who my Mom and Dad were. He made sure I called them by their correct titles, and I do out of respect to Grampa and Grampa only. I don’t really feel connection to them, and I feel guilt but not to them, to the fact that society expects I should as a norm. Therapy helps me realize that it is alright? We don’t have to care for bad people. And to me they were bad. I can forgive. I just want space. My parent is/was(?) Grampa. And he passed away. I don’t hate my biological parents, but I don’t exactly have much attachment to them, I also don’t exactly have object permanence in a way that I don’t overly think of them because they weren’t exactly, ever, there (unless forced (or they needed something like money...Dad asking Grampa and I was the way to get it)) So why bother? I am just done putting effort into what does not serve. I also said that you are what surrounds you? Well I don’t want to be surrounded by negative people like that, those continuing negative cycles...and people always wondering what is wrong but never fixing it. I want to take responsibility. My mental and physical illnesses are hard, my Goddess they fucking suck, but I refuse to quit, I want to live. I want to succeed at what I do. I want to give my kids the best life. And I just want to be happy.

I also just really dropped friendships. Some of this just happened naturally as I focuses on work, on my health and on my goals. This isn’t a cruel thing. Like I said, it is okay to outgrow things. If people don’t understand this, they aren’t ready to grow yet, we all do things at our own pace, progress is never linear and no two peoples paths look the same. Even as I write this, I know how difficult this is. Sometimes I am still lonely as I don’t have a lot of friends. The amazing thing I found was in my journey, I reconnected with people, old friends and it was like we had never stopped talking. I don’t exactly see them. But we are adults, with kids, and jobs and husbands. We live a bit apart. However, to talk to other people who just get the stresses sometimes is so freeing. Be it a late night text of “Is it bad my child ate Macaroni 3 days in a row?”  and a late reply of “A Mom’s gotta do what a Mom’s gotta do.”  Or even long phone calls while we both shop or clean. I am also thankful for my Cousin who has been a constant. She has made a drive out to mourn a loss with me and ended up helping me through a chaotic moment within my house. 

Sorry for the rant Tumblr. Life has changed. But I am happier. Still racked with mental illness and a fake adult, but I am getting there.....And I have returned to this site.

[finalgirleddiemunson]

Loving You is Easy (Steve Harrington x Reader)

summary: Steve sometimes needs to be reminded that real love comes without conditions. (word count: 1.6k)

warnings: one (?) curse word, kissing, let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed. 

a/n: I was thinking about soft and vulnerable steve and i really just want someone to  hold him close and tell him it’s okay fr fr. 

--------

Loving Steve is easy, even when he’s under the impression that it’s not. 

“I’m really sorry, it’s just Robin really needs me to cover her shift and she took one for me last week so-”

“Steve,” you gently interrupt him to save from explaining yet again why he’s missing date night tonight. You try to keep the smile out of your voice as you shift the phone to your other side, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I know Robin wouldn’t have asked you unless she really needed it. I’m not upset.”

He hums worriedly, as though he doesn’t believe you. “We can have date night tomorrow? I can take you somewhere really nice. Like, I’ll put on a button-up and you can wear your fancy new shoes kind of nice,” he says. 

You shake your head despite him not being able to see you. You can picture him now behind the counter of Family Video, leg bouncing with nervous energy and running a hand through his hair as he waits for your response. So focused on making sure you’re alright. 

“Why don’t we save the fancy date night for a different time?” You suggest.

“Oh god, you are mad. Shit, I’ll call Robin and tell her to get over here- that I can’t take her shift anymore and I’ll be there-” He groans out and you can hear him already scrambling on the other end of the phone, ready to grab his jacket and keys.

“Steve!” This time you don’t try to keep the laughter out of your voice. If it were anyone else, his antics might not read as charming and genuine as you know they are. But you know he means it. That he would jump in his car right now and be at your door in the next ten minutes if he detected even the slightest hint of sadness in your voice. “Steve, I just meant maybe instead you can come over after your shift tonight. Just sleep over here and we can just hang out tonight and tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be fancy- I just want to be with you. No grand dinner dates necessary. Though I wouldn’t say no to seeing you in a button-up if that’s still what you want to do,” you tease. 

“Oh,” he says. There’s a beat where you know he’s almost recalibrating his senses. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to finally chew him out like he prepared himself for. You have to remind yourself that it isn’t a comment on your relationship- it’s just that Steve isn’t used to a love without conditions. “That sounds nice. I can grab some clothes from my house and then I’ll come by after work?” He asks. 

“I’ll keep a light on for you.”

“A light? What am I, a sailor?”

“I don’t know, Mr. Ex-Scoops Ahoy-”

“Okay, okay forget I said anything,” he sighs, pretending to be offended. In the background, you faintly hear the ring of the Family Video door opening.

“Get back to your customers, sailor. I’ll see you later. Love you,” you tell him. 

“I love you too. Bye.”

____

It’s late by the time you hear the faint knock at your door, but you knew it would be. Saturday night at Family Video can be hectic and leave quite a few tapes to be put away by the end of the night. 

When you open your door, Steve is standing with a sheepish grin and full arms. 

“I brought candy and a few movie options,” He says as you let him in. He dumps his armful of treasure across your coffee table, rooting around in the pile for something. “You would not believe how many places are closed at this hour. I mean, what’s a guy gotta do to get M&M’s and Air Head’s around here? I finally remembered the gas station would still be- oh! Here it is!” He quits his ramble to face you, finally finished with his search. Proudly clutched in his hand is a single yellow flower- a buttercup. The stem is a little bent, undoubtedly from being crushed in between tapes and candy, but you reckon that it’s the singular most beautiful flower you’ve ever seen. 

You take it from him gingerly, a grin painted across your face as you touch the delicate petals. “Where did you get this?”

Steve shrugs, “They started growing outside my house. I thought they were pretty and you’re pretty so… I figured you should have one…which, thinking about it now, maybe I should have picked more than one. That’s was kinda weird of me.”

You shake your head, placing the flower carefully on the table and make a mental note to find a glass for it later. You step in close to wrap your arms around him, “Thank you, I love it.”

He hugs you close, one hand rubbing your back in soft motions. You tuck your head against his shoulder and you feel the pressure of him dropping a kiss to the side of your head. You can smell the remnants of his cologne clinging to his skin and the dust of Family Video on his shirt and another smell that’s so distinctly Steve, it reminds you of warmth and being wrapped up close to him, just like you are now. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to have date night. I know you really wanted to go out tonight. But we can still go and do something tomorrow, if that’s alright?” Steve murmurs. He sounds troubled, and you know Steve well enough to understand that there’s something more distressing him than just this one missed time. 

You quirk your chin up from the hug so that you can catch his eyes. “Steve, I want to go out if that’s what you want to do too. But, date night can just be this. Just be us watching a movie on the couch together until we inevitably fall asleep. I just want to be with you.”

He frowns. “I know, but you deserve all the date nights. Every date night in the world, and I want to give them to you. Fancy steakhouses or whatever people do. I don’t want to always just be getting you gas station candy and movies from my work.” 

“I never really cared for steak all that much,” you tease, using your closeness to poke at his side. It brings about the intended effect as a smile briefly overtakes his face before he gets serious again. 

“I don’t know why you put up with me sometimes,” he looks down at you like he can’t quite believe you’re real. 

“I don’t know. Must be the ‘I’m in love with you’ thing.”

“I really lucked out with you, huh? I’m just crossing my fingers that you don’t realize that you got a bad deal and go running for the hills,” he chuckles. His tone is joking, but you recognize that underlying hint of insecurity. That mask of humor that he pulls out when he doesn’t know how to tell you how he really feels. 

“Why would I do that? I hit the jackpot with you, Harrington.” You pull out of his arms so that you can look at him directly, trying to convey your sincerity in every word. Sometimes you play into his game of humor and deflection, but you also know when Steve just needs to be reminded that you’re not going anywhere. 

Looking down at you, he’s got that small, lazy smile he sometimes gets. You can’t resist the urge to lean forward and kiss him. It’s soft and slow and you’re both smiling just a bit too much for it to really work.

You pull away, intent on finding a movie to start so that you two can curl up on the couch together when his fingers lace through yours, pulling you back in. The second kiss is deeper, less honey-syrup-sweet as his other hand finds the side of your face to keep you close. You lace your hands around the back of his neck, finding the soft strands of his hair and thread your fingers through them. 

When you finally pull back, face feeling warm, Steve is looking down at you with a starstruck shine in his eyes- one reserved specifically for you. 

You pick the first movie your hand touches, not even glancing at the title as you put it in the player and then pull Steve down to sit next to you. He goes willingly, limbs finally relaxed and eased from the nervous tension you know he’s been carrying all day. 

You kick your feet up onto the couch and make a home for yourself curled into Steve’s side. His arm instinctively wraps around you. Two puzzle pieces slotting together on the worn floral fabric of your couch. You try to turn your attention to the screen, but the light from the TV splaying across Steve’s face makes a much more captivating picture to you. 

“What?” he laughs when he catches your gaze, knocking his weight against you gently.

“You’re easy to love, Steve Harrington,” you say simply. It sounds like a fact coming from you. As though it would follow ‘The sky is blue, the earth is round, and Steve Harrington is easy to love.’

He rests his forehead against yours, movie forgotten in the background. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to find all the words to tell you how much I love you,” he sighs, content. 

“Just keep bringing me flowers that remind you of how pretty I am and I’m sure I’ll get the message.”

“Sure thing, baby. I’ll bring you a flower every day for the rest of our lives,” he laughs. 

He means it. 

[erodasfishtacos]

The Brits Dilemma

” Prompt: Harry & Y/N go to the Brits. It’s the first time they’ve been away from their baby. Y/N is struggling but doesn’t want to ruin the night for her husband.

Word Count: 1.8 k +

Warnings: Depictions of breastfeeding

+++++++

The award show was going well. It was the first time Y/N had been out in nearly three months besides a few brunch dates and grocery shopping.

Usually, she was pretty confident in what she wore to accompany her husband to all of these flashy events - but not tonight.

Her bump had deflated but she was still attempting to get rid of the stubborn pouch that stayed after the baby had been born. It wasn’t anything out of the norm - just still trying to lose it.

She was breastfeeding and her breasts were much larger than before. They felt heavy and too big for her body. Not to mention, they were constantly swollen and achey. Pads were a must so she doesn’t leak through the tight satin black dress.

The dress was a beautiful custom design by Gucci that complimented Harry’s sharp suit but nothing felt right. It was digging into her sides and made it hard for her to sit on her chair.

The Brits were held in the O2 Arena which wasn’t very far from their London home but she felt like she was lightyears away from her baby. Even though she knew Sasha was in good hands with Anne.

Y/N was so proud of Harry for being up for five - yes, five different awards. It was a record for him and she didn’t want to let him down by complaining. It was his night. He’s been such a devote father - he deserved a break too.

So she swallowed down the anxiety she was feeling about being away from their little newborn for the night along with her worries about her changing body.

There was milling about between the tables before the show got started. Harry had people coming up him constantly - congratulating him on the album, the nominations, the baby.

Married life and fatherhood suited him well. A dazzling wedding band on his left ring finger, a necklace with an S for his daughter, along with her name freshly inked on right above his butterfly tattoo.

The open jacket he wore with is his barely buttoned dress shirt displayed it proudly. It was beautiful, done delicately in a timeless cursive. The font match his wife name that was tattooed on his hand.

He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t excited to have a night out with his wife. He had Jeff booked a hotel for the night to have some alone time with you while his mum got to enjoy a night with her only grandchild.

Y/N was counting down the hours up until tomorrow when she could go home to see her baby. She should really tell Harry that she wants to go home and not out to a club and the hotel.

But the it just slowly starts to deteriorate further when a bald, plump business exec comes to greet the two of you. He gives his warm wishes about the birth of your child before smiling at Y/N and stating, “The baby weight will come off soon enough.”

Her throat closes up a bit and she self-consciously tries to push her chair closer to the table. It was the last thing that she needed to hear. Confirming all of her worst insecurities.

Harry glares at the man before turning to his wife, “Hey, you look s’perfect, my love. I’m so bloody lucky you’re mine.”

He’s truly trying his hardest to bring a smile to her face but he notices it’s never quite meeting her eyes. 

It get even worse when Harry gets his first award, male solo artist of the year. 

As she’s standing and clapping for him - she realizes she’s beginning to leak through her nipple inserts.

Y/N excuses herself in the middle of his acceptance speech to rush through the string of tables - out into the corridor. The last thing she wanted to do was for it to show up on a very expensive dress.

The echo of his voice can still be heard, “Love to thank my beautiful wife who makes writing sappy love songs easy and was the main inspiration for my recent album. She also just gave birth to our beautiful baby.....”

She feels awful when she tunes him out, finding the bathroom and hurriedly rushing in. There’s a gorgeous woman standing at the sink, washing their hands. 

Fucking Taylor Swift.

Any other time it’d be awkward and uncomfortable - running into an ex who wrote multiple songs about her husband.

But she couldn’t careless right now, “Hi, erm, this is really weird but could you unzip my dress? I’m leaking and - shit that was way too much information.”

But Taylor smiles kindly, “No! It’s okay, totally. No worries. Congratulations on your baby - you look so hot tonight.”

Y/N laughs and thanks her for unzipping the dress before going into a stall and locking the door. She slides her bra straps off her shoulders and disposes of the soaked pad in the sanitary bin.

Luckily, she has a clean burp rag that she gently swipes at her breast - wincing as it brushes against her swollen nipples. Even the soft fabric felt too rough on them.

It’s a minute or two before the bathroom door swings open, “Y/N? Lovie? Are you in ‘ere?”

She feels guilt at the panic in his voice. Managing to croak out, “I’m in here,” before leaning forward to unlock the door.

Harry waste no time in sliding into the stall before latching the lock again. Taking in the sight of his wife in front of him.

“I-I started leaking, M’sorry,” Y/N whispers, she has no reason to feel embarrassed but she is. “I missed your speech.”

“None of that, baby. I’ll give more speeches for you to hear - I only care that you’re okay. I’m sorry y’leakin, lemme help you, pet.”

In true Harry fashion, he takes the rag and turns on the sink - running it under warm water before carefully cleaning his wife up.

“Are they botherin’ you? They look irritated and super swollen, darling,” Harry frowns, a very gentle thumb coming to brush against her nipple. Then cupping her swollen breast in his hand, thumb rubbing at the pink skin.

“Just a little bit,” She lies, they’re absolutely on fire with chafing and skin irritation from the bra she’s wearing. She never thought she’d miss her nursing bras and sports bras this much.

He nods and helps place new inserts in her bra. Who’d think this is what Harry would be doing between accepting awards. Everyone unassuming in the arena.

**

Harry has been four for four thus far into the ceremony. They’d only had him go up and give two acceptance speeches. His hand firmly planted on his wife’s thigh throughout. 

When he went up for his second award, the camera zooms in and the crowd coos are he plants a kiss on his wife’s lips before pulling her into a hug - whispering something into her ear the audience can’t hear.

He was much more focused on his wife. He could read her fairly well - he’d like to think. Enough to know she’s having much fun. But he didn’t want to bring it up and make her feel bad.

Harry sees the way she keeps adjusting her bra, fidgets with his rings when his hands in his lap, and not even really looking up while one of her favorite artist - Dua Lipa -performs.

Y/N loved a good party before the baby. So Harry was hoping going to the Brits afterparty would make her feel better and then going back to their hotel room for a some alone time.

**

Y/N has been increasingly quiet when they’re exiting the arena after the final award artist of the year - which Harry had also won.

He was on cloud nine and admittedly a little distracted as he joked and laughed with a small group of friends on the way out. 

“Alright, should we all just pile into a cab for the ride to the party?” Nick Grimshaw asks everyone.

Everyone is in agreement - including Harry -as he calls to order one - standing in the blocked off area away from fans and paparazzi.

Y/N wants to tell him she wants to go home to Sasha but when she hears him say, “Can’t wait to get to Exhibit - haven’t been there in forever. One of my favorite clubs.”

She bites her tongue. Harry is enjoying his night out - why can’t she?

In the taxi, she’s sat on Harry’s lap as they make their way to the club. His one hand is on her inner thigh and the other is on her waist holding her steady.

In the morning, she’ll blame her post-partum hormones and anxiety. But she doesn’t even realizing her eyes are filling with tears and when she blinks they spill down her face.

She wouldn’t feel as embarrassed if she wasn’t in the car full of literal celebrities who are filled with adrenaline and excitement. Chattering and drinking from little liquor bottles they’d snuck in their jackets and clutches.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Rita Ora asks from her seat - noticing the streaks ruining your makeup.

She nods pathetically, wiping at her eyes but Harry is turning her to face him. His bright green eyes filled with concern as he studies her face.

The previously very obnoxiously loud cab becomes silent as they try to give the couple a semblance of non-existent privacy.

“What’s happening, dove? Are you hurting?” Harry panics, coming to wipe the smeared makeup away.

“I don’t want to go to the club,” Y/N sniffles, squeezing her eyes shut at how embarrassed she is of her behavior. She would usually never act this way - especially in public. And Harry knows that so it makes him even more concerned.

“That’s okay, pet. We can go have a night in, when the cab stops - we can uber back to the hotel,” Harry soothes, surprised when that brings on fresh tears.

“N-no, I want to go home. I miss the baby, I want to- need to see our baby. I-I can’t do this. My anxiety is through the roof, Harry. What if she can’t sleep? Or isn’t taking the bottle?”

“Baby, breathe, breathe. We can go home. I miss the bub terribly too. Have been worried about her all night.”

Harry tugs his wife into his chest further - tucking her head into his neck as he shoots his friends grateful looks. They all nod, sympathetic and understanding - despite them not having kids of their own.

**

“I ruined your night,” Y/N says softly in the back of the uber home. “I leaked during the show; cried in front of all your friends.”

Harry takes her chin gentle but firm until she meets his gaze, “You didn’t ruin anything f’me. All I care about is you and the baby - not some stupid award ceremony or party.”

He continues on, “You just gave us Sasha three months ago - y’bloody amazing. Best mum, best wife. Sexiest too - know you don’t think that right now but your body literally grew my baby. I get a hard-on everytime I see you.”

They both laugh, Y/N leaning forward to capture her husbands lips in a meaningful kiss of gratitude and thanks.

**

Anne smiles kindly when the two of them arrive home. A very fussy, red-faced swaddled baby coddled in her arms. 

“She hasn’t settled for quite a while now - she missed her parents very much,” Harry’s mum tells them, transferring her into her father’s arms. He’s automatically rocking and running his thumb over her cheek.

“Ooh, we missed you. Was Nana nice to you?” Harry coos. Sasha has already quieted and is blinking tearfully up at her smiling father.

“Such a good girl, best girl,” Y/N sighs, leaning in to kiss her downy hair. Harry’s hand coming to wrap around his wife’s waist as they peer down at their perfect little daughter.

Anne smiles at his son and daughter-in-law fawning over their little creation with so much love and adoration.

After a minute of chatting -Harry’s mum makes her way up to the guest room after a long night with a miserable baby. They make their way to their room where Y/N strips out of her tight dress and awful bra. 

She sits against the headboard in just a pair of soft cotton panties. Harry is gently shushing her and humming a melody as his wife gets situated. He knew she was anxious to feed the baby.

“That’s it my sweet thing. Y’missed us, hm? We missed you too, bub. Nana said y’wouldn’t take the bottle. Only want your mumma, hmm?” Harry coos, kissing her chubby cheeks.

He’s then giving Y/N the baby, who ferociously latching within seconds and begins eating like she’d been starved for the last week. Making weak little rumbles as she does so.

They both giggle fondly, Y/Ns fingers come to touch her fluttering cheek - memorizing her over and over again.

Harry gets onto the bed and settles next to the both of them. Watching his baby feed in amazement at what his wife was capable of. He smears a few kisses against her bare shoulder - hand on his baby’s back.

How strong she was - as he knew it had to be at least a little bit painful with how irritated her nipples had been. He can tell when she winces every once in a while.

He plants a few more kisses to her warm skin - noticing her eyes getting a bit droopy as Sasha feeds at a slow, suckling pace.

“If I’m being honest, being with you - watching you feed our baby...I’d rather be here than at any club.” 

Y/N snorts, rolling her eyes, “Sure.”

Her husband frowns, “M’serious, this is all I need, baby.”

“I love you, congratulation on all your Brits,” Y/N murmurs, pecking at his lips.

“I love you too. I meant it, during my speeches. I wouldn’t have been able to write those songs if you hadn’t inspired me. You’ll and the bab will always be the best muse.”