#i can plan therapy appts

[selfimploding]

psychologist in my area who specialises in agoraphobia and avpd and accepts ndis funding maybe 7th times the charm...

[itsalwaysdark]

like i think if i tried to flirt with somebody id just be like . Hi. and then id get scared and have to run away to have a panic attack

[desultory-suggestions]

If you dont mind me asking- Do you have any advice or tips for coping with pmdd? How did pmdd things change once you were on T? I finally got an appt with a doctor about it in a few months.

Hello friend! I don’t mind at all. PMDD is an extremely tough disorder to navigate and it looks different for all of us. In my personal experience it made me have extreme anger issues, I would fight with my family ruthlessly as a teenager and it was awful all around. I wanted to be calmer and I tried to be, but everything set me off.

What finally helped me through this was two things, therapy and birth control. I started therapy as a teen to help me deal with the larger issues and mental health struggles I was having and it helped a great deal.

However, this biggest thing that helped was being put on birth control to halt my menstrual cycle. This was for dysphoria, but had the unintended side effect of truly eradicating my monthly depression and rage cycles. Now I did still needed to treat my underlying depression with medication, but it made a huge difference not to have my period. Most people can stop their period with T, I have “extremely resilient ovaries” and still have a very minor period on higher doses of T. So I have a birth control implant, and the combination stops my period entirely.

Coping with PMDD without treatment was very difficult and I didn’t find the best ways of doing it. However, the advice I would give my younger self is to be honest with my loved ones about how I’m feeling, to keep track of when my emotions shift each month, and to work hard to set up systems of care for myself. Even today I keep a general idea of how my hormones change each month, and take a little extra care and emotional awareness during specific times. Anything that lessens your symptoms is good, even if it feels silly. Telling my partner about it helped a lot, as when I have a period (right now I do for complicated reasons) he can predict mood shifts and be a bit more patient or supportive on the weeks when I start to spiral into emotional turmoil.

Everyone has their own experience, so it may look different for you. Hopefully taking T can help bring you the same peace it did for me (if that’s what you desire!) and if not definitely speak to mental health and medical professionals about a care plan that does work. Wishing you all the best!

-Evan

[faithhopeloveandtherapy]

I’m going to see if writing this out in this anonymous space helps me at all.

My dad has cancer. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago. It’s been under control until now, when it has spread quite aggressively to his bones. He called a family zoom meeting and told us. It was two weeks ago, the day after the baby had moved. At the time I had no capacity to deal with another trauma. I actually felt angry that he was imposing another trauma on me when I was already maxed out. Of course I didn’t say that. I messaged my sister to ask if she knew what was going on, and she sent me a screenshot of a message from my mum to her, saying “the appointment was awful but your dad will have to tell you”. This is how we communicate in our family, we are all scared of my dad so we message around him.

Since that meeting, my dad has had another scan and then was awaiting an appointment for decisions on chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

I messaged our family chat (just my parents, sister and me) at the weekend and asked if there was any update. No reply. My sister messages me privately and says, he’s due an appointment on Monday, but she doesn’t want to say that in the family chat in case she gets told off for speaking out of turn because she knows our dad likes to tell things in his own time. (Can you feel the dysfunction bouncing out of the screen?)

On Monday morning, I wonder to myself if the appt will go ahead because there’s a doctors strike here in the UK. I am too scared to ask this in the family chat. Later that day, I message my sister to ask if she knows if the appt has gone ahead. She says as far as she knows it was still planned to happen. On this basis, I message the family chat asking if it’s going ahead. Within an hour, my dad replies that he got the appointment day wrong and it’s not till Thursday.

To anyone in the outside world, we appear a very normal happy functional family, two parents in a loving marriage, two successful, happily married children and a generation of grandchildren . But underneath are layers of complicated stuff that the world doesn’t get to see. We are all scared of my dad, to varying extents and manifesting in various ways. I think I am the most scared, maybe because I faced his anger/impatience the most as a child and tried to shield my younger sister from it, maybe because I am more sensitive and affected by others moods and prone to blaming myself. T knows all this and I wish I could have her back to process what’s happening now with, because in order to try and work through it with a new therapist, they would first need all the back story, which feels so exhausting to go through again.

When we were on holiday with my parents in the summer, it was all (mostly) fine when everyone was together. But one evening everyone else went out to the cinema, leaving me and my dad home alone. I was in such a state of anxiety the entire time, watching the minutes tick down until everyone was back, and praying that he wouldn’t speak to me. I feel so ashamed that this is our relationship and I know my dad would be very hurt and shocked if he knew (he genuinely believes he was an amazing parent), but also the magnitude of trying to unravel it and either shatter his belief in himself or destroy his relationship with me is unthinkable. Aside from anything, I’m just not brave enough.

So I carry on, trying to walk the tightrope of saying the right things at the right time and keeping quiet at the right times, tiptoeing round the emotional landmines, and trying to hold all the complicated feelings of sadness and relief and grief in some sort of same time existence.

And I wonder how bad it should get before I take myself back to therapy.

[soullikethesea]

Yesterday was a travelling day. On my own, so I had a bit too much time to think.

When we were saying our goodbyes, my friend and their partner said some of the things I'm desperate to hear.

- You are such an easy guest, because you really were/are part of the household.

- It was fun for us to have another person in the house. We will really miss you.

Those things cut right into the abandonment/rejection/belonging wounds I have. It makes me feel like in an alternate reality maybe another family could have accepted me. (Maybe it's not just me).

I did get annoyed with them sometimes, but I guess that's normal. I could just *also* sense good intentions the whole time.

When I was on the train, I couldn't help but think about T. I noticed that I still don't want to see her. It's as if something broke. I don't want to be like that... it feels unfair from my side. But honestly, she hasn't been able to help me lately and it felt like a let down. She also really let me down when she ignored my messages (even though she did call at the planned appt times).

Maybe it's also that I'm just too overwhelmed - needing rest and peace too much right now. I noticed that the partner went to therapy (for PTSD, deep trauma work) and afterwards they could still do some things and the next day they could be active again? For me literally just sitting in a room to do therapy is activating enough that afterwards I can only lie in bed the whole day and the next day is still groggy. Let alone when I actually talk about stuff. It is terrifying and Exhausting.

Now I'm spending one day in a small city and later we're heading up to a cabin for a few days. Hopefully it'll be nice. It requires a ferry to get there, so that is kind of cool. And there's moose and wolves out there. 😮

[liu-lang]

more of a note to self but i had a not great therapy appt today which propelled me to move up my follow-up psychiatrist appt ... my therapist wants to change the diagnosis that's on file for me but i don't agree with it. we ran out of time so next time i told her i wanted to talk to her about 1) how this change of diagnosis would affect the treatment plan and 2) going through the DSM 5 for this diagnosis to better understand what she thinks i've exhibited that fits this criteria and why she thinks this is a good diagnostic fit. if anyone has had to navigate a convo like this, what was it like ? for what it’s worth my therapist is a LCSW (so masters degree + state licensure) and I think I really want a second opinion from my psychiatrist who obvs has done way more schooling / training and has known me much longer as I’ve worked with her since may 2022. The entire time I worked with my psychiatrist, I also saw my previous therapist who never mentioned changing my diagnosis. I’m not here to discredit anyone who has LCSW credentials but I’m just concerned after barely a month of treatment she wants to change things so drastically to an even more severe form of mental illness. She was also very insistent on talking to my psychiatrist (which I saw as a good sign bc I genuinely think it’s good for providers to work together for a more holistic understanding of the patient) but now I am fearful that my therapist may have been adamant about this bc she might want to change my meds to fit this more severe diagnosis….which thinking about it makes me scared of losing my mind (no pun intended) bc I have been on a roller coaster of trying to find a medication + dosage that alleviates symptoms and has side effects I can tolerate.

she did say the diagnosis can be amended etc etc but i was genuinely shocked at what she said and i immediately cried after the appt and had to talk to my sisters bc i feel like it came out of left field and was very unexpected and really destablised my sense of self (ironic since the point of therapy is to help me with my problems not create new ones)

i've only seen this new therapist for about a month (first two sessions had tech difficulties so we only talked for like 20 min and have only had two full 45 min appts so far) and this whole time i've felt like it hasn't been a good fit. (at the first appt when i told her about struggling with some eating disorder behaviours and how i play violin to keep myself occupied and to distract from engaging in the behaviours, she said "oh you could also try sitting on your hands" .......like what ?.....did she mean this to be helpful ? like wow, why didn't i try sitting on my hands before, so simple !) after each appt i feel more and more misunderstood, i feel like the diagnostic change is rushed and punitive. i've been through therapy before and no other mental health professional (therapist or psychiatrist) has given me this diagnosis. it's so jarring i actually just rang the clinic and asked to see the notes from my previous therapist i started out with when i first moved to nyc (i really clicked with her and i felt genuinely help and seen and understood by her)

anyway now, this week, i have dr appts everyday :(

[rainbowgothdisaster]

i hope one day i have the opportunity to break some bitch ass cops nose bc they really started to fucking piss me off personally fuck you for fucking raiding the house i hope your dad has a stroke and is bedridden for a long slow year before finally croaking at the worst time when your already busy and stressed and none of your family help plan the funeral and then time comes and ppl start problems at the funeral bcuz they cant leave drama out of it

literally fuck you i hope you get tuberculosis and the doctors don't think to check for it until your fucking miserable and wasting away

i hope the next time you raid the woods where the homeless ppl are camping you accidentally get stuck with a nasty ass needle and get hep c

and also fuck you for causing problems the day after my therapy appt you fucking cunts finally fucking fire those bitches that have been causing problems and get a better website so i can actually know when you pull some fuck shit like this "the mugshots are broken" yeah sos the updates unless your suggesting they've been there for over 4 hours and arent processed yet "we provide this information for the service of the public" fuck you goddamn it

[galaxae]

during my last therapy appt my therapist asked how it was going cohabitating with my bf and i talked about it and my therapist was like, well damn this sounds great, it's a mark of a solid relationship when you can talk out and get through the mundane stuff like that (chores, shopping, moving, money etc). and like. honestly? the mundane stuff is My Favorite Part. maybe it's just because this is fresh and new and we've only been living together for a month and a half. but talking out money plans, looking for furniture, making a grocery list, eating my bf's cooking, cleaning/organizing while he's at work so he can come home to a super nice place,, it all honestly feels so super good. the mundanity is the best part. forget going out on dates or vacationing or whatever the hell else, my favorite thing in the world is just existing with my love

[randomactsofpigeon]

/rant

So I started seeing a psychologist due to all the IVF stress.  And OMG.  I have only had two appts and I’m going to cancel the third I have scheduled and look for someone else.  Not only is she expensive as fuck, I prepaid both previous appts and her office is billing me WITHOUT applying those prepayments.  The appt scheduler says 45 min, she told me the appts are actually 38 min.  She ends them right on time but is 2-3 minutes late every time and then tells me she wasn’t late.  These are virtual appts, the clock is literally RIGHT THERE on my phone, lady--do you think I can’t read???

And the care is just crap.  Like I get that it’s two sessions in and I don’t expect miracles.  But she has no fucking idea what to do with me.  If it’s not depression (and it’s not, I was depressed for 20 years, I fucking know what depression is and isn’t for me) she’s just like, helpless.  She has no experience with neurodivergence and I spend way too much of each session educating her.

She also is clearly restraining herself from faith-based care because apparently I’m the odd patient out who doesn’t want that.  She was specifically recommended by my IVF clinic so I can only imagine the wave of religious bullshit she’s used to spouting to smooth out hopeless women wrestling with infertility, or the number of women who have gone away unhelped but believing that’s just what therapy is because they have no prior experience of therapy.  She’s not unkind; she’s well-meaning just fucking useless at her job.  Like if you’re not a sad person being denied your life ambition of centering your whole identity around being a mom, if that’s not what infertility means to you, looking for a vial of pills and some Jesus-pats on your head about god has everything planned, she doesn’t know what to do.  She just doesn’t Get Me on any level whatsoever.

But the cherry on top?  I went to cancel today and you can’t cancel online.  Fine, I call the number, expecting to leave a message.  I’m 80% certain the number listed in MyChart IS NOT THE RIGHT NUMBER and there’s no voicemail option.  Fuck my life.

Guess I get to play phone tag on Monday.  I don’t normally leave reviews for physicians but damn am I tempted in this case.

[ahhvernin]

Against popular belief remember the interview is a 2 way process in which they are seeing if you are qualified and meet their expectations but also if THEY THE EMPLOYER MEETS YOUR REQUIREMENTS AND EXPECTATIONS.

Flip those interview questions around and ask how they work and what they offer.

Ask things like:

1. How does the company handle inclement weather warnings? (Tells you if they value staff safety or their own asses. Answers that start with "well, if they have the pot time...." Are shit answers bc we have all heard stories of stranded workers)

2. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being least satisfied and 10 being most satisfied, how would your rate employee work satisfaction? (Watch their body language.)

3. Tell me a time where there was a conflict among employees how did you diffuse and resolve the situation? (NOT manage but diffuse. If they have trouble answering the diffuse part, this is likely not that strong suit and probably don't listen well)

4. What are the strengths and weaknesses of your team? (A team lead who respects their team will often lean on answering strengths because they see this. A team lead who only sees issues will lean heavily on weaknesses.)

5. How do you encourage work life balance among your team? How does your staff utilize their PTO time? Can you gave me some examples of how they use it beyond vacation? (Managers who are engaged with their team may say things like, employees who take time every last Friday, some use it to go to class or a regularly scheduled meeting. Doctor appointments, mental health days, student-school events, family care )

6. How is PTO time submitted? How often are they accepted? What is the preferred notice time? How do you handle requests made within a shorter time frame? (This is important to know if you have access to a computer request system or if its paper, along with if your manager is a stickler for control. Listen carefully to how they answer and if they try to beat around the bush.)*special note: for me this question is very important because I have several health issues and often need to have multiple doctor appts every few months and post covid, often times get last minute rescheduled. And I have biweekly therapy sessions.

7. Do you and your team find the provided health benefits provided by the company adequate? Does it cover dental, vision etc? (Don't be afraid, if benefits is a high priority, ask. It sucks to get hired and to find out the insurance sucks and covers nothing)

8. Does the company offer retirement plans? Does it offer matched contributing? Do you like it? (These days don't waste your time at companies who don't. If they match contributions even better. Some places have crap retirement so many workers choose not to participate.)

If they can ask you for work experience and skill and your degree....you can ask them about management and benefits.

It also helps you with rejection. Because instead of saying "I didn't meet their qualifications" you can look back on the interview and their answers and say, "its okay they also didn't meet my qualifications". Or if you get an offer but you feel they are just trying to fit a cog, you can say "thank you for the offer, unfortunately I have decided to pursue another company who better suits my needs and expectations. I hope you find someone who suits yours."

[nathank77]

2/19/25

12:30 p.m Edited changed a little 1 p.m

So obviously I did get out of my driveway yesterday but I almost tore my exhaust off the bottom of my car getting over the fucking hump... that won't melt... and it took me 2 hours of rocking back and forth and losing plastic car floor mats to my tires gripping them and then them going all the way under and hitting the garage. It was pure work. It took forever but I did notice as I worked that my back tires had moved noticeably. So I kept trying. And eventually she got out but it actually took about 2 hours and then I ran off to the the gym to do legs and abs. I hurt my knee a little. Its okay now but I am worried i won't be able to do legs for a little. It doesn't really hurt anymore but it did. I couldn't do squats I had to back out on a couple sets of another exercise bc I knew if I kept going I may not be doing leg day for a long time...........

I think by Saturday, maybe Friday I'll be fine... I am parking at the business across the street bc I don't want to tear my exhaust off my car trying to get in and out and I'm terrified I'll sink back into the death hole. It's bad. I fucked up bad the day before... I was turning my wheel and actually digging myself deeper and deeper. Yesterday I went out with a plan and it still took forever but I got out and now i don't even want to think about parking there until it fucking melts...

Unfortunately if it snows I got to get out of the businesses parking lot so they can plow and then I'm worried I'll have to go into my driveway and get stuck again. Or ruin my car going over the unbreakable hump of ice.

I'm worried i balded my tires a little. But idk. Tomorrow it may snow and if it does i got to go back into my death trap..... I guess I'll worry about that tomorrow.... with any luck it won't snow and it'll all melt by Sunday and then I can go back in my driveway.

I did arms today. I might do legs and abs Friday and arms on Saturday but I dont want to go out in this death trap bc the front yard is pure ice. And Saturday it may melt a little but then I got me and connors birthday party on Sunday... so I can't go then I mean maybe i could in the morning but I got to have stupid pooping time cause my life sucks and I have to shit 3 times a day bare minimum. So I prob won't be able to fit the gym in Sunday. Meaning if i do legs and abs Saturday, I can't do arms until Monday. I hate the weather dictating what I can do..

Not to mention i have 400 Dr's appts i have to travel for next week.. so hopefully the fucking ice melts and it's becomes less awful to exist outside.

Anyways I started talking to this girl who has a boyfriend bc she is deaf she has implants. I'm like blah about it entirely. She's just venting about her life. She's just like marcy. If I hung out with her I'd just want to blow my brains out. I guess most girls just do this vent to their guy friends about their life and use them for emotional support..

I'm going to try to talk to guys. I don't have time to be a free therapist. I mean I feel bad bc she's deaf and whatever but I'm not a therapist. I talk to John a lot. Bc even though we talk about games a lot I can talk about what's going on for me..I mean but then we can talk about games and achievements... it's not just blah blah my life sucks blah blah you should be talking to a therapist.

I can't stand it. She really likes me but I'm like how do i nicely get rid of her bc I don't want to meet her or talk to her on the phone or video chat. I'd rather blow my brains out than listen to her whole life story. Idk why more people don't go to fucking therapy. She's on state. She could go three days a week and have normal friendships

But yea end rant.

[ziegler2039]

I missed my first written motorcycle test bc I let anxiety get in the way, but now I made my second appt I'm already in the area, woke up early, running errands, reading the driver's book thingy Like I Am Really Motivating Myself.

Avoiding a horribly long post here ...

I'm trying to use all the skills I've learned in therapy over the years from simple Mindfulness to CBT. And to be honest-

mindfulness can feel terrible. Accepting reality for what it is feels terrible. Looking at our emotions from a distance feels terrible. Recognizing the thoughts I'm having, or how fixed I am on something, and not having the control to always stop these thoughts- feels terrible.

Self awareness can feel terrible in general because I'm acknowledging all of the negative thoughts and uncomfortable emotions, like anger or shame.

And there are only little blips of neutral or positive thinking. But it's the only way to get through it, to accept it and let it pass.

Then after that, relationships, community, hobbies all come to fruition. But, in the moment when I'm spirally in my thoughts and I feel terrible and awful, using the mindfulness and CBT type stuff helps.

That therapy is not naturally self-motivating, but to gain insight in to how our body feels and how our mind thinks and the patterns we experience so that we have the tools to make a plan and jump into action. Once I have all that knowledge, and in the blips excitement and joy is when I should act. In any moment wherein my thoughts calm down, to utilize it to move forward. And you just hope with time.

[moonlight-at-dawn]

they aren't planning to stop my coverage, but gdi, can rx insurance stop sticking their nose into my fucking care???

I'm taking fucking low dose norco/vicodin. Nothing major. Leave me alone.

Also:

Non script meds like Tylenol, Advil, Aleve - Tylenol only works as a supplement to the norco, i can take it between doses and get a better effect, but on its own it's useless. The other two rec'd here are NSAIDs and I have ulcers so no go

Non-opioids like lidocaine or NSAIDs - I've tried lidocaine, doesn't really work. Recommending NSAIDs twice is annoying, because again, I CAN'T

Phys therapy and exercise. PT is expensive and health insurance only covers a limited amount, not enough to get me fully on my feet before my yearly benefits run out. Oh, and the most effective kind for my situation, aquatic pt, isn't covered. Which i found out the hard way several years ago when I'd done several appts and suddenly my claims for all those were rejected and i owed over a grand to my dr. Never again. Fuck you. Fuck you for even reminding me of it. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. "Exercise" is great and all, but w/o professional guidance, I'm more likely to hurt myself, so again, fuck you

CBT - tried it, doesn't work for my pain

Some meds used for depression or seizures. - you are my rx company. I realize this is a scripted letter, but seriously, again, fuck you. I'm on pregabalin and escitalopram. I've been on gabapentin and duoloxetine and others in the past. You should know this. You should know ALL OF THIS. Fuck you for recommending i do the things I've tried over the past decade. Fuck you fuck you fuck you

I wish rx companies understood how fucking infuriating and insulting these letters are. I want to give them horrible paper cuts with this letter then sprinkle lemon juice and salt on the cuts. They can go fuck themselves with this shitty ass letter.

[drowningwavez]

Made it to my sisters with my cat. So anxious my cat will destroy something she was so scared when we first got here she’s visited them before but they’ve moved so it’s a new house so she was scared but she’s been so brave tonight exploring now the kids are asleep.

So much trauma has been triggered this last fortnight. Seeing my mum in hospital was triggering just being in a hospital and triggered some childhood trauma. Then my mum mentioned this ladies name which I’d blocked out the childhood trauma of till she mentioned it now it’s been all bought back up 😭😭😭I didn’t have enough time to talk about it in therapy today as most of the appt was talking about my fucking mum and ndis shit that is stressing me out majorly.

I took my antipsychotic tonight I just have to get through to Monday they confirmed the admission is Monday. Idk if he’ll want to recommence ect or what but we’ll see I might just go in for a week to ‘reset’ . I don’t plan on staying very long the beauty is I can discharge when I want. And also so I can see my dr for free instead of paying $350-$400 to see him outpatient. I’m going to ask if we can increase the antipsychotic idk if it can go up and whether it comes in a depot as that would really help me as when the voices are loud like atm I stop my meds and if I’m doing good I stop them too. So a depot would really help that. But I think it’s too new to have that yet…

[eatdrinkandburyme]

my plan for this psych appt is to say "hang on I have a question for you before we get started" and just find out if they can offer the types of therapy I want to do and if not then hang up

[megan-rambles]

27.5.24

After actually having a few good days at work on Friday/Saturday I log in today (despite telling myself not to because I knew I’d regret it) and seeing that I have to complete my “client care week” which I would have done of course anyway but before I was like if I don’t get all my GP letters done it’s no big deal as long as I have the handover documents ready but now I have the stress that I’ll be fucking audited 😡

AND a client that I literally haven’t seen in months (that likely will be presenting with intense grief due to the very high likelihood her father has died) just booked in for tomorrow because I had like one bloody cancellation and so I have to have the conversation like ok this is a one off session I don’t have capacity for any more which I sincerely hope she’s aware of!

Thankfully I have 2 weeks left and I wish I organised this better so I wasn’t so stressed towards the end however a. I had no idea how difficult it would be to just finish up with cases and b. I do feel like I was pushed to work even longer/harder than what I think is reasonable with this whole idea of taking someone on with the “assumption” that 6 weeks of therapy is enough and thankfully it’s worked out ok but I honestly think things needed to have slowed down a lot sooner.

Whatever, just got to get through these 2 weeks and once I wrap up everything i will feel calm -it still feels like an eternity and stressful because I feel like clients just seem to keep wanting to come back or just keep needing things and I just want people to stop needing things from me just because they can. Its my son that actually needs me so everyone else needs to fuck off!!

Anyway, a message to future Megan, DO NOT check halaxy or your emails under any circumstances at home, only at the clinic or in library on my admin days!!

Plan:

Print client list -label discharge or handover as I see them

and write GP letters for all those without future appts -basic without going into presentation, stating no future appts, will be going on mat leave

Write basic scaffold GP letters for clients left and have an option for discharge or handover - basic without going into presentation and stating: 1. Mat leave 2. Handover/discharge

Do the handover summaries as I go but on Tuesday the 11th finish up any handovers left and send off GP letters

Prioritise this over my training because worst comes to worst I can finish it when Bub is like 2-3 months before it expires