#i can only assume it works by amy missing the insults

[episims]

"I can't believe it's your birthday already!! I'm so not ready for this."

"Haha...!"

"Dari isn't with you?"

"Um... you invited him?"

"No? But I thought he would join you! He's always so nice to me."

"Oh, he is...? I guess I can call and ask if he wants to come..."

"Dad? Can we see outdoors already?"

"Not just yet, Blossom! I still have a few things to finish."

[descendant-of-truth]

Heads up, I'm gonna be discussing Sonic x Shadow Generations leaks below the cut, so if you don't want extra-early spoilers then just feel free to skip this one for now.

That being said: it's come to my attention that the Sonic Generations portion of the game is, in fact, being rewritten... but not reanimated. Meaning that it's just new dialogue on top of the pre-existing animations.

This is. quite possibly the worst route they could have taken. not to mention the weirdest??

I can see what the train of thought most likely was, to be fair. Shadow Generations is being written by Ian Flynn, while the original game was written by Ken Pontac and Warren Graff, and their versions of the characters are very different from Flynn's. Clearly, they wanted some sense of internal consistency between the writing of the re-release. That part is normal.

But then, I guess they just... didn't have the budget, or interest, or whatever it was they needed to reanimate everything from scratch. So they just added some lipsyncing when necessary and called it a day.

The problem is that doing it this way fundamentally kneecaps what you can actually do with a rewrite. The revised dialogue I saw in a video doesn't feel any less stilted or awkward, and the only thing it really changes is giving the characters slightly more reasonable priorities, or filling in gaps in their knowledge that were there before.

And those aren't bad things to do, but it's... kind of the ONLY thing they can do. It doesn't fix the game's story. It's barely putting a band-aid over it. All it does is read like an amateur fan project, especially with the addition of Modern Sonic responding to his friends after he saves them where he didn't before; I'm convinced I've seen videos of fans doing that exact thing in the past.

Yes, everyone knows that the few seconds of silence while he gestures felt unnatural, but so does trying to fit a relevant sentence over such a short animation. The official attempt isn't going much better, adding this really out-of-place and forced "alright!" when Sonic gives Knuckles a thumbs-up, and it doesn't flow naturally with the rest of what he was saying at all. It's there seemingly just to fill the space, so that there's no moment where Sonic is animating and not talking. It's bad.

Not to mention, I kind of assumed that the reason Modern Sonic was silent during those segments was because Classic Sonic was. You can play either Act of each stage in whatever order you want, so you could rescue the others as either Sonic. It would give people an unfair incentive to always play Act 2 second if it meant they would get more dialogue that way, and they would miss out on Classic's interactions as a result. Sure, neither of their interactions are anything to write home about, but... that's not really the point, here.

Trying to insert new personalities and character dynamics into animations that were meant for something different only works if you're doing a fanmade parody. Doing it in an official capacity feels... weirdly insulting to both the original writers and animators, honestly?

Like, no, that's not the script they spent hours animating for. That's not the tone they were trying to convey with those character movements. No, Sonic isn't face-palming in exasperation because Amy's too focused on "saving Sonic next time," he's doing that because she's joking about how scared she was that she'd never get to flirt with him again. Those are not comparable interactions.

I understand why they wanted to change the script, I really do, I don't even like the original version but for crying out loud, swapping out the dialogue does not make the game more interesting. There's a reason the story felt utterly bland and lifeless and an extremely large part of that was the animation and cinematography. The white space that most of the cutscenes took place in was literally just the side-scrolling hub world, they had maybe five square inches that each character could move around in and it was really, really boring.

A rewrite of Sonic Generations, especially with the goal of making it an equivalent experience to Shadow Generations, desperately needs more than this. Shadow's story is going all-out with the animations and camera angles and the severity of the situation and the deep-dive into Shadow's character and Sonic gets. this. a slap in the face to the original writers with no attempt to meaningfully improve upon their story.

It doesn't solve the problem of Sonic's story being jarringly lackluster in comparison to Shadow's. If anything, it's just going to stand out as being even weirder, because if this was all they were going to do, then... why did they even bother? What was the point? Does Tails recognizing the Chemical Plant from Sonic 2 mean anything when there's no new scenes that actually take place in it? Are we really making "Sonic References: the Game" into nothing more than a vehicle for Slightly More Accurate Sonic References and Nothing Else??

And what really gets me about this is that I would've gone nuts for an official Generations rewrite as a kid. My Sonic Generations Phase(TM) was both extremely long-lasting and filled to the brim with others' fan projects, because I couldn't get enough of this idea of Sonic and Tails meeting their past selves while trying to save the very fabric of reality. It's such an inherently cool and fun idea!

But what I was invested in as a kid was just that: an idea of a story. The reason I was obsessively reading and watching fanfic about it was because the actual game gave me nothing to work with. Now, it seems we're still getting nothing, just in a different flavor. Like, plain oats, but this time they're gluten free so that means they're totally what I wanted, right?

No. I didn't want a Sonic Generations fandub that happened to be paid for. I wanted a story. It should not be this difficult to give me one.

(To clarify, this is not a diss on Ian Flynn himself or his ability to write. I think he was given a task that was impossible to do well and I'm mad at whoever made this decision)

[skaruresonic]

What do you think SA2's flaws are? Not nitpicks, but valid criticisms?

Story and Characterization: • It kind of doesn't make sense that Eggman's threats "fell on deaf ears." The game doesn't really tell us what that means, so we have to assume Shadow meant the negotiations between Eggman and the President didn't go quite as planned. But even that doesn't make sense because Eggman either ended the call first or had his call hijacked by Sonic and Tails. It's not like the President staunchly refused, you know? • Sonic and Tails' attitude towards Amy is a little :L because they treat her like a tagalong, some burden they have to suffer rather than a member of the team. It gives off this uncomfortable "lol girls amirite" vibe. • Sonic and Tails leaving Amy behind becomes something of a running gag. It gives off the impression they're just lugging her along and only lends Amy more reason to "whine," as she puts it. • Amy's also a little bratty in this game. I kind of don't like how much she pouts. In addition, she becomes pretty passive despite having infiltrated Prison Island all on her own. • Sonic's characterization is serviceable but his portrayal really doesn't do a whole lot with his character aside from the faker plot. (This is reflected in SA2B's manual describing Sonic's role rather than his character.) Not a criticism as much as an observation, per se; just pointing out that SA2!Sonic is probably not the most fleshed-out version of the character the series has to offer.

• It's probably a side-effect of a poor English translation, but SA2!Sonic comes off as a bit of a jerk sometimes. He frequently leaves Amy behind and jokes that he'd have to "think about" handing over the fake Emerald in exchange for her. In addition, the lyrics of "Deeper" imply Knuckles wishes Sonic would be more sympathetic to his plight. • It would have been nice if the game confirmed that Maria had NIDs and that was the reason for Project Shadow's existence. As it stands, the reason why Gerald was working on it can be difficult to parse if you're judging from the game's contents alone. • The fact that the Biolizard is kinda this "giant space flea from nowhere" plot development. And yes, I acknowledge that he was foreshadowed in Rouge's report, but that's too much of a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment to really count imo. • While I get that he was busy with other things, I think Eggman should have tried to keep a keener eye on Rouge. He seems a little too laissez-faire with letting her run around the colony and giving her access to the mainframe.

• I still don't know how Rouge expected to make off with the Emeralds considering they were ensconced in the Cannon. Or why Shadow simply left her there when he knows she wanted to take them.

• The time stamps can be a little confusing, and in one instance contradict the timeline of the narrative. • We could have benefited from maybe one or two more Shadow and Maria flashback scenes in order to cement the nature of their relationship.

• I sometimes question the President's relationship to GUN - they seem to be acting independently of his orders, going batshit at that - and whether he was willing to let Rouge die in the course of her undercover work. Because GUN hadn't gotten the memo that she wasn't the enemy and sicced Flying Dog on her.

• Knuckles' story doesn't seem terribly connected to the overall narrative.

• Knuckles is made a buttmonkey a bit too often for comfort's sake, getting yelled at by multiple characters, shaken and insulted by Rouge, pulled on by Amy, called a "knucklehead" by Sonic, volunteered by Sonic to find the keys when he doesn't want to, and Sonic ofc saying Knuckles piloting the shuttle was more dangerous than Eggman could ever be.

• I think maybe we could have benefited from hearing a bit more of Eggman's thoughts on Gerald's motives and how they related to his own. --- Gameplay and Graphics:

• The graphics are rough, unfortunately. Character models don't really look that good up close and the mocap can get pretty janky at times.

• I think, also, when comparing SA1 DC to SA2 DC, the framerate isn't as smooth. Scanlines become especially noticeable during the final Sonic vs. Shadow fight when the catwalk loads in.

• Kart racing sucks pretty bad; they probably could have cut it entirely, and it's annoying that you have to do it in order to earn 180 emblems. The computer's a cheating bastard and will make perfect 90-degree turns whereas you're forced to swerve all over the road like you're drunk.

• Raising Chao takes way too fucking long and it shouldn't be an emblem requirement. It's an interesting system but, again, shouldn't be a requirement for 100% completion.

• Overall I think the desert stages are SA2's weaker stages in terms of level design. It's not that they're terrible or anything, but they seem to lack the polish of other stages. Egg Quarters Hard Mode is especially annoying because it depends on the Kikis' wonky AI functioning correctly. Half the time they blow themselves up and ruin your A-rank. • Sonic's Cannon's Core section feels rather short and too easy compared to the other segments. I would think in terms of gameplay it'd make more sense to make it the most difficult and tightly-paced. --- Soundtrack: • Not as diverse as SA1's, although I do like how the "Live and Learn" leitmotif is woven throughout many different tracks. • Not sure why they decided to make some tracks on SA2 DC's sound test DLC-only.

[cometomecosette]

US 3rd National Tour, Los Angeles, February 7, 200: Part 10 (”A Little Fall of Rain,” Night of Anguish,” “First Attack” and “Drink With Me”)

Sutton Foster as Éponine, Tim Howar as Marius, Kevin Earley as Enjolras, Ivan Rutherford as Jean Valjean, Stephen Bishop as Javert, Trent Blanton as Grantaire.

Kudos to Sutton for remembering to act wounded even before she collapses, climbing very slowly down the barricade, having to stop and rest midway down, and then clutching Marius for support. Not all other Éponines do that. During the song she never cries out or writhes in pain, but I think it works. The motionless tension of her body makes me assume that her Éponine is hiding her pain from Marius, which fits with the lyrics, and of course lets us focus on the moment’s tender emotions. In the last verse, I like the way she gently fades away, loosening her grip on Marius’s arm and lying completely still except to move her lips as she sings, but then, at the very end, finding the strength to pull herself up and kiss him. It evokes the way Hugo’s Éponine lies so motionless that Marius thinks she’s already dead, only to open her eyes and utter her love confession.

Tim’s concern and tenderness compliment Sutton’s performance perfectly, and though his grief is quiet and understated, it’s still poignant.

The moment when Enjolras comforts Marius is understated yet touching too. Kevin’s Enjolras is clearly pained by Éponine’s death but seems at a loss for what to say or do for Marius. In the end, a silent shared arm-clasp is all that’s needed.

When Valjean arrives, the Amis take a fairly calm, wary yet respectful approach to interrogating him, lowering their guns as soon as they realize he’s not a real National Guardsman. I’m tempted to like this better than versions like the 2012 movie where they’re aggressive and almost ready to shoot him on sight, although the latter is valid too.

During the battle, I see another detail I remember reading about in reviews. When Kevin’s Enjolras kneels down to assist the student who’s been wounded by the sniper, only to be narrowly missed by another bullet from said sniper, he falls backward and sits paralyzed in shock, looking like “a frightened little blond boy” (as I remember one fan writing) until Valjean helps him up. I know that some fans can be touchy about Enjolras showing any weakness, but I personally don’t mind this detail. It’s only a brief moment, and like the above-mentioned moment with Marius, it’s a humanizing image that makes Enjolras believable not only as a staunch leader, but as a young man facing the threat of death for the first time. (Yes, I know Hugo’s Enjolras also fought in 1830, but the musical never mentions this.)

Besides, I love the way Grantaire snaps out of his motionless stupor to reach out to Enjolras when that brush with death occurs.

Stephen and Ivan are both excellent in the releasing scene. Stephen moves believably from rage and disgust at having Valjean as his executioner, to confusion when he’s freed, to smug disdain when he thinks he’s figured out Valjean’s motive, to a slow, speechless, dumbfounded exit, while by contrast Ivan’s Valjean remains staunchly calm, not losing his temper at Javert’s insults, but firmly committed to doing the right thing.

Moving on to “Drink With Me,” Trent’s Grantaire puts an interesting spin on his solo by addressing specific lines to specific individuals, to whom (if we know the Ami’s individual personalities in the novel) each line has the most meaning. “Can it be you fear to die?” he directs to Joly, the hypochondriac. “Will the world remember you when you fall?” is aimed at Feuilly, the orphan who has no family to remember him. And of course “Will your death be one more lie?” he addresses to Enjolras.

Then we have a beautiful Enjolras/Grantaire reconciliation, which unfortunately the cameraperson only shows us in part. Enjolras first stares at Grantaire, then angrily grabs his shoulder, with poor Grantaire shielding his face as if he expects to be hit. But then they gaze at each other, for a long time, and then finally, warmly clasp hands. It’s too bad that the cameraperson chooses to pan around the stage during their long shared gaze instead of showing us their expressions leading up to the hand-clasp. But I suppose the E/R relationship wasn’t quite at the fandom’s forefront in 2000 the way it is now (it was already a popular ship, if I remember correctly from my middle and high school days, but slightly less so than Éponine/Marius or Enjolras/female OCs).

Tim’s soft, sad delivery of Marius’s verse at the end is very touching and I like the consoling pat on the knee Trent’s Grantaire gives him before walking away

The ensemble work is excellent, as always.

[pod-together]

Pod-Together Party Favors 2020

The rose wrapped 'round the briar (Captain America - All Media Types, Agent Carter (TV)) written by JoCarthage, performed by irrationalpie, JoCarthage Summary: Steve Rogers is being haunted by the ghost of Bucky Barnes. “Folk songs are meant to be changed; that’s how they live, Peggy. Change the genders, change the names, change the tunes, change the meaning -- it’s the act of singing that makes it real, not any particular specifics. That’s what my Ma taught Buck and me, and that’s what I know to be true.”

You’re The One That I Want (Summer Lovin) (Supernatural RPF) written by WinchestersShorty1980FL, performed by storyspinner70 Summary: (no summary)

two monks invent fruit (Two Monks Inventing Things (The Toast), Pomological Archive RPF) written by resistate, performed by frecklebomb, growlery Summary: Monk #1: I’ve been wondering what makes a fruit a fruit Monk #2: oh That’s easy

My Job Here Is Done (Stray Kids (Band)) written by the24thkey, performed by knight_tracer Summary: The trials and tribulations of Lee Felix, magical girl.

Missing the Point (Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston) written by MouseK, performed by cheshiretears, MistbornHero, Ellejabell, MouseK, semperfiona Summary: Amy, Secret Service agent, former Navy SEAL. rumored around DC to have killed several men, once stabbed someone in the kneecap with an innocent looking embroidery needle.

Honk If You Missed Me (James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)) written by FlutterFyre, performed by RsCreighton Summary: 006 returns to a changed MI6 and an unimpressed goose.

Chocolat (Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)) written by sospes, performed by reena_jenkins Summary: “The signage outside,” Yennefer says, slow and sharp, “says that this is a bar.” The tips of the waitress’ ears are flushing pinker by the moment. “A dessert bar, ma’am,” she ventures. “Not a wine bar.”

the bite that binds (Critical Role (Web Series)) written by sabinelagrande, performed by blackglass Summary: And one day, the Wolf has a son. Or Percy does. But definitely Vex.

Alone Together (Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types) performed by bluegeekEM, BookGirlFan, carboncopies, Ceewelsh, Elle_dubs, Hangebokhan, MouseK, oakleaf Summary: This is just Toss a Coin.... sung by a bunch of drunkards. Because, if we are all going to be alone in this hellscape of 2020, we might as well do it together. Note: This is a *very* directional song, I would highly recommend stereo headphones to listen as it is arranged assuming you are a person in the middle of a crowded bar.

Aretuza (The Witcher (TV)) written and performed by Wereflamingo Summary: I won't forgive you this I won't forget The way you broke my mind The scars you left behind I won't forget A filk to the tune of "Ahavtiha" about Yennfer's anger and complicated relationship with her school.

Filk Broken Telephone: Group 1

1. We're All in This Together (Robin Hood (1973)) written and performed by eafay70 Summary: A song about the Merry Men working together to help Nottingham, to the tune of "We're All in This Together" from "High School Musical."

2. We Can Save The Wen Remnants! (魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù) written and performed by sobieru Summary: Going up Burial Mounds, some worries arise. Can the Wens really work this out?

3. Fight for the Archive (The Magnus Archives (Podcast)) written by carboncopies, performed by carboncopies, mahons_ondine Summary: It's episode 117, but instead of speaking into a tape recorder, everyone sings.

4. Do You Wanna Play Some Hockey (Check Please! (Webcomic)) written and performed by Wereflamingo Summary: A Check Please filk to the tune of Do You Want to Build a Snowman. Kent being sad at his phone because Jack is ghosting him.

5. Andy and Me (The Old Guard (Movie 2020)) written and performed by ssleif Summary: A Booker POV filk from 2/3rds of the way through the first film.

Filk Broken Telephone: Group 2

1. You Carry Us All With You (Star Wars Sequel Trilogy) written and performed by minnabird Summary: That scene in TROS, with all the Jedi voices coming to bolster Rey? Yeah, that, but as a filk of Can't Help Falling in Love in four-part harmony (and a touch of Rey's theme thrown in for good measure).

2. Can't Help My Destiny (Merlin (TV)) written and performed by TheLordOfLaMancha Summary: This is a Merthur filk written to the tune of Can't Help Falling In Love With You by Elvis Presley. Merlin whines (with as many insults as possible) about why he puts up with Arthur, until he remembers why.

3. he came back and stole my crown (Avatar: The Last Airbender) written and performed by Oceantail Summary: he came back and stole my crown....i tried to put him in the ground....watch me lose myself one by, one by... one! Azula's breakdown during the Final Agni Kai to the tune of "you should see me in a crown" by Billie Eilish.

4. Bad Uncle (琅琊榜 | Nirvana in Fire (TV)) written and performed by oakleaf Summary: Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons, re-imagined from the point of view of the Emperor at the end of the series. General spoilers for the whole series.

5. Blaviken (Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types) written and performed by Elle_dubs Summary: Jaskier walks into a bar after "Rare Species" ... (based off Mal Blum's "Baltimore") (played by me, on ukulele)

Filk Broken Telephone: Group 3

1. Forever Fan Friends (Fandom - Fandom) written and performed by Ellejabell Summary: A meta filk about the friends we make in fandom. Based on the song "For Forever" from the musical "Dear Evan Hansen".

2. Thank You For the Fandom (Fandom - Fandom) written and performed by TheArcher Summary: Filk of ABBA's Thank you for the Music about changing fandoms.

3. You're Welcome for the Fandom (Fandom - Fandom) written and performed by Ravin Summary: See title.

4. Happy Ending (Fandom - Fandom) written and performed by Ceewelsh Summary: A filk for Pod-Together 2020 Broken Telephone

5. Additional Tag: Strangers to Lovers (Fandom - Fandom) written and performed by mahons_ondine Summary: Just a fandom fairytale meet-cute.

6. OTP, That Stands For Us (Fandom - Fandom) written and performed by klb Summary: Happy endings only.

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

Tuesday - Student Council Pt. 4

*Lafayette x Reader

*Summary: Reader sets up meetings so she can avoid interacting with Alexander and Jefferson. Burr overhears something he really should not have.

*Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of jealousy. Let me know if I missed anything.

*A/N: So a lot is going on now. I hope everyone is staying safe and please practice preventative actions for you and everyone else. I might do a life update post just because I like spilling everything every once in a while.

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four

Outfit

**********

Planning pep rallies was never fun. Sure, there were instances that could be fun, like actually seeing the pep rally in full swing, but most of the planning was very annoying, just getting the small details to work out. Normally you’d have the stress of Hamilton and Jefferson at each other’s throats added onto that, but for once they were actually behaving. And it was all because they wanted your vote. If you hadn’t made the circumstances clear, you knew that it’d be hell. They’d be trying to text you to undermine the other, send thinly veiled bribes, anything to butter you up to vote for them, but for once, they let you do your thing without bothering you.

You had a few meetings planned for the next few days, each one sure to keep you out of ASB for the period. You made sure you’d be unavailable to Jefferson and Alexander, lest they try to sway your decision during class. The next time you��d be in class, it would be time to vote. Yes, the budget vote was very important for the upcoming semester, but you had more pressing matters at hand. You brought Lafayette with you to these meetings, even though he wasn’t even in the events committee, which John made sure to point out when you told Lafayette it was time to go.

The first meeting of the day was with Vice Principal Adams to actually get the ideas for the pep rally approved. Vice Principal Adams had little actual control in the school, so where he did have power, he really took hold of that. Thus, Adams being an actual tyrant concerning pep rally ideas - or as he called it, ‘student affairs.’ 

“So, here’s the idea list. Right now we’re planning on making it fun, have a few games and a couple prizes for some students, with a few raffles throughout the pep rally,” you explained, handing Adams the official paperwork you’d put together with Eliza. Lafayette sat there, letting you do your thing as you pitched the rally. You’d made the idea list pretty long, knowing Adams would say no to at least half of them. You and Eliza had perfected the whole foot-in-the-door approach when it came to Adams, and you were making sure you’d get what you actually wanted from the introductory pep rally.

“And where are you planning on getting the funds for these prizes and the rentals required for some of the activities?” Adams questioned, flipping through the pages without actually reading any of it. Lafayette sat up straight, knowing the paperwork detailed exactly that. He shot you a questioning look, but you just shook your head. You were used to Adams’ power plays. It was completely stupid that he was trying to establish dominance over kids he was somewhat in charge of, but you could tell it was the only way he could feel like he was actually in charge of something.

“If I could direct your attention to page four, my committee outlined our sources of funding, as well as where we plan on arranging for other things we don’t need to rent. We’re going to use the school’s sound system, utilize a student DJ - who will play a pre-approved set list and be compensated for the hour - and use decorations we already have or can make using items in the ASB room. We have funds allotted from the school’s fall semester budget, as well as some funds from last year’s fundraising efforts,” you explained as Adams flipped to the page in question. If you had to print that using your own paper, you were going to make sure he’d look at it.

“I thought Washington said you kids hadn’t done the vote for the fall budget yet?” Adams asked, looking up from the paperwork.

“We still have our tentative budgets. Everything is outlined in the paperwork.”

“I’ll look over this and send Washington the finalized list in the morning,” Adams told you. He placed the papers on his desk, next to his computer. You didn’t know if he’d keep to his word, but you’d be damned if your first pep rally was ruined by the likes of John Adams. “Now, get back to class. I have another meeting in a few minutes.”

It took everything in you not to roll your eyes until you were safely in the hall with Lafayette. “The fucker doesn’t even have a meeting, his secretary told me we were the only ones pencilled in,” you immediately complained. If anything, you probably had more meetings this week than Adams did in a year.

“Is he like that every time?” Lafayette asked, taking your hand is his as you walked to the next meeting of the day - the music room to speak with someone you knew was a pretty good DJ from the few house parties you’d been to. You figured you’d be in and out in about ten minutes, 

“Yup. Why do you think he hates Alexander so much?”

“I thought it was for obvious Alexander and authority reasons.”

“Well, yeah, but Alexander isn’t intimidated easily so that just gives Adams even more reason to hate him,” you explained. Lafayette made a little noise of understanding, following you lead down the halls. It only took a few minutes to get to the music room, and you immediately spotted your target. You turned to the teacher after you scanned the room. “Can I speak to Benjamin for a moment? I promise it’ll be quick.”

“Of course, just don’t take too long, (y/n),” the teacher agreed. Benjamin immediately went to you and Lafayette, eager for any excuse to get out of class. The three of you left the room, stopping a few feet down the hall.

“Hey (y/n), what’s up? What’d I do to piss off ASB?” Benjamin joked. You were in a few classes with Benjamin before, and the two of you were pretty cool with each other. Imagine your surprise when you saw him playing DJ and he wasn’t bad at all.

“I dunno dude, you tell me,” you jumped in. The two of you just looked at each other for a second before laughing. Lafayette seemed a bit confused, which was fair considering Benjamin was more of a class friend than an actual friend. “Nah, but really. We need a DJ for the intro pep rally-“

“Ew.”

“Hear me out. We wanna get more students involved so I wanted to know if you could DJ for the event. You’ll get the same get out of class free card as we do for the day, and you’ll get paid for it too,” you explained. You knew you needed to get this deal done fast or Benjamin would lose interest. You had a bit of an advantage since the two of you were friends, but you still needed his enthusiasm.

“We’re talking like actual money and not exposure, right?” Benjamin questioned.

“Actual money. We’d never insult you like that,” Lafayette jumped in. You looked over at him, but let it slide. You never made an agreement that you’d be the only one talking in these meetings, but it was kind of assumed. If anything, you would probably say something eerily similar.

“Alright, I’m in. Do I gotta bring my own equipment?”

“You have your own equipment?” You asked.

“Hell yeah. You think everyone just has the same sound stuff? You know what, I’ll bring it, but it’ll cost extra,” Benjamin tried bargaining.

“How much extra?” You had your expenses estimates down to the last cent, with only about $100 for a margin of error.

“Twenty-five for transport, and I’m gonna need someone to be here to help me unload.”

“Alright. You get a hundred for the hour, and that’s including your transport fee. We got a deal?” You put your hand out for him to shake. Benjamin looked between you and Lafayette before shaking your hand.

“Deal. And thanks for bringing this to me first,” Benjamin said.

“Alright, get back in there before your teacher complains to Washington,” you replied, immediately jumping back to the joking tone you took with Benjamin.

“Aw, no chance I get to stay out for the rest of the period?” Benjamin whined, walking back to his classroom door. 

“You get pretty much the whole day off in like a week, chill,” you laughed. Benjamin went back to his class, leaving you and Lafayette in the hallway with about fifteen minutes before the period ended. You turned to your boyfriend, who was still looking at the door Benjamin had just disappeared into. “Alright, we should probably go check back in with Washington.”

“Right, we should probably do that,” Lafayette said with a bit of a strained smile. You took his hand and led him in the direction of the ASB room. After a few moments of silence, Lafayette spoke again. “I didn’t know you knew Benjamin.”

“Oh, yeah. We had a few classes together so we’re kinda friends,” you explained. “I didn’t even know he did DJ stuff until we went to Jefferson’s party.”

“Alright. So the two of you never?”

“Babe, we’ve been dating since sophomore year and I met Ben the same year. I’ve never had anything beyond a classroom friendship with Ben, and I’ve never wanted something with him,” you reassured Laf. 

“That’s all I needed to know. And what about your little scheme?” He asked, turning attention back to more important matters than fleeting jealousy. 

“They haven’t caught on yet, and I’ll be fine until we actually have to vote on the budget.”

“Haven’t caught on to what?” You heard Aaron’s voice from behind you. You stopped dead in your tracks, Lafayette walking forward a bit before fully realizing you’d stopped. 

“Aaron, what’re you doing out of class?” You asked, turning to face this new problem. You shouldn’t have been talking so openly about your schemes, look at where it got you now. Aaron simply held up his water bottle in explanation before going back to the matter at hand.

“Now that we’ve established that, who are they and what haven’t they caught on to yet?” Aaron questioned. 

“Her parents, mon ami. Their anniversary is coming up and (y/n)’s been planning a surprise evening out,” Lafayette immediately jumped to your defense.

“And what does that have to do with the budget?” You had to hold in a groan. You hated the fact Aaron was so attentive to everything, especially if he could use it against someone later on. Aaron really wasn’t going to let this go, and you really needed him to.

“My parents know not to bother me when I have something important coming up in ASB. After the vote my parents are gonna start being a lot more involved in what I’m doing,” you lied. Lafayette really set up the perfect cover story for you and you weren’t going to throw away your chance. 

“Hm, I suppose that makes sense,” Aaron said, nodding slightly. You could tell he didn’t quite believe you, but was willing to let it slide for now. You knew this was bad, and if Aaron brought his suspicions to Jefferson and Madison, your entire plan was down the drain. Aaron took one last look at the both of you before walking past you and continuing to the ASB room. As soon as he was out of earshot, you turned to Laf. 

“I’m dead. If they find out I’ve been withholding my decision until the vote, then neither of them are gonna be willing to work with me this year,” you immediately started rambling.

“First, we need to stop talking about this at school, obviously it’s no longer safe. Second, I told you this would happen.”

“Okay, right, we’ll talk about it at your place. And of course you were right,” you gave in. You took a second to compose yourself in the hall before having to face Aaron in class. If he saw you were a little shook up by your interaction in the hall, then he’d know he had something on you. “Alright, let’s get back to class. We need to tell Washington what’s going on.”

**********

Tag List: @snazzydoesthings, @bagpipes606, @a-hopeless-fan

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness

[doof-doofblog]

"That Is My Boy!"

Monday 26th October 2020

Hello again everyone! Hope you all had a brilliant weekend, I apologise for this post being late, tonight I will covering yesterday's episode and tomorrow will follow tonight's episode. Last week ended on such a big cliff-hanger, I'm looking forward to what this week has in store. I'm not going to waste any of your time, let's jump right into it!

The episode starts with Sonia receiving a brand new car from a supposed patient she treated in hospital with Covid-19! Quite interesting really, I mean, its a lovely gesture, but possibly something someone wouldn't be able to accept? Or unless this is going to be a new storyline for Sonia? Is this Coronavirus patient going to be a stalker perhaps? What do you guys think? Over the road, Denise is looking out the window in amazement of Sonia's new car, as she smiles Jack joins her in the living room. She attempts to approach the Raymond situation gently, she asks very politely of him whether it's worth her moving back in with Patrick or whether she'll have permission to set up a bed for Raymond. Denise has always said she wants to bring up Raymond with Jack and be a proper family. I do kind of wish Jack would be more supportive of his girlfriend. He seems distracted by Amy's attitude and her homework as Denise is trying to have a quiet word with him.

At the police station, DI Thompson is having words with Callum. At first I thought he was giving him more information on Ellie Nixon, explaining that there were 4 Nixon properties. However, as the conversation goes on, DI Thompson still seems more interested in getting Phil behind bars. It looks as if he's informing Callum about a scam of drugs, if they plant it and Phil goes to recover it, they could catch him? At least, that's what I make out from that discussion. But I might've got that wrong. Why would Phil go to a building which had drugs in it? For money? Possibly! But whatever their scam seems to be, he informs Callum that it'll be happening today!! Does anyone else think that Callum is in too deep? I think he's found himself caught in something that he really can't get out of. I do hope, in time, he'll find a way around it and get DI Thompson in trouble instead!

Meanwhile, at the Cafe, Linda bumps into Max. They haven't been seen together since Max apologised to Linda for kissing her. As they make small talk about her spending the day with Mick, Bobby rushes in with a handful of flyers, advertising his charity - The Lucy Beale Foundation. He announces that they're putting up an award. Both Linda and Max praise Bobby for everything he's doing for his deceased sister. Kathy agrees to take some and Max even offers to take some for the restaurant. As Bobby leaves, Kathy asks Linda whether Mick has found work yet. Linda is quick to defend her husband, explaining that it's really hard at the moment and they're coping okay on her wage. It's then Max also offers her the job to work in the restaurant if she needs the extra money, but before she can answer, Mick appears. He can only act civil towards Max after learning about him making a move on his wife.

Outside in the gardens, Keegan is sat on young Dennis's bench looking after Mack and Mia. Both the children appear to be missing their Grandad, and Keegan very gently explains to them that he's gone back to work, probably in a way of helping him cope with his daughter's death. Across the Square, Gray is sat outside his house with Shirley, watching his children play. They discussing Gray going back to work, she suggests to him it might do him the world of good and give him something to focus on. Gray still admits he still doesn't feel ready, but maybe Shirley will be able to persuade him? As they chat, excited screams and cheers can be heard from across the Square and Sonia reveals herself in a brand new car as she drives around the Square. Shirley and Gray look amazed and can't understand how Sonia can afford such a luxurious car.

Meanwhile at the Mitchell household, Callum informs Ben and Phil about the plan to raid 4 of the Nixon properties. Ah right so it makes more sense now, Phil is to plant drugs in one of the properties and Ellie will never find out which one. He promises Phil that no more will be said about it and it'll be the only way they'll be able to get Raymond back. Phil is to meet them there at 3pm and go along with the plan. However, something tells me this is going to bite Phil right in the bum! I have a horrible horrible feeling that as soon as he has Raymond safe, DI Thompson is going to arrest him for planting the drugs, to which Phil will realise it's all been a set up and he'll lose trust in Callum completely - Ben also will struggling to come to terms with the fact that his boyfriend shopped his Dad to the police. As this conversation continues, Phil is thankful towards Callum and even informs him that he'll never be able to thank him enough, he won't forget what he's done for his family, even stating that he actually belongs in the family now!

Back at the Cafe, Stacey finds Kheerat after their night of passion. Stacey is still quite flirtatious as she confirms to him that the previous night they spent together was nice. However, she isn't looking for a relationship right now, and it would seem that neither is Kheerat. As they chat, Kheerat gets onto the subject of Ruby, he recalls Stacey being out for revenge last night, and it seems that after their chat, she knows he's said some words which have played on her mind. She makes the brilliant point that she's not going anywhere and she's in for playing the long game. It's then that Kheerat mentions he might be able to help her out. What could he possibly do or offer to help Stacey?!

Back at the Mitchell household, Callum is quite clearly a nervous wreck, he spills milk as Ben approaches him from behind. Even though Ben is grateful for everything his boyfriend has done for his Dad and his family, he can't shake the feeling of concern for his boyfriend. He states the fact that he has broken so many rules when it's come to helping them and Ben is refusing to let it affect his boyfriends career. Even if he didn't want him to join the police in the first place, he doesn't want his sacrifices to potentially ruin his career. Ben is clearly being the supportive partner, to me - it looks like the roles have reversed, Ben is thankful to his partner but not wanting him to be in any trouble and yet Callum is all caught up in a web of lies. I REALLY don't see how Callum can go through with this, I'm kind of scared to watch!

Back on the Square, Linda is gently approaching the subject of working a shift for Max to Mick. She insists that if he doesn't want her to work it, then she won't, only it would be good for the money. Mick has been really off with his wife lately, speaking to her in awful ways and pushing her aside, he literally instructs her to do the shift. From across the Square, Tina sees her brother and sister-in-law and happens to mention Frankie and the fact that she just walked off without a word. Linda volunteers Mick to work the shift for her, but Mick is less than impressed and informs his wife that he'll look for a job when he wants to! Linda attempts to fight her corner saying that she was doing it for Tina, but Mick throws in the insult about working a shift for his wife during the times she was drunk. Tina overhears and is shocked at Mick's outburst, Linda is visibly hurt by her husbands words and as he walks away, she makes the phone call to Max and informs him she'll be ready whenever he wants her.

Meanwhile, at the salon, Jack appears to be looking for Denise. Mitch informs him that Denise has gone shopping, I'm assuming to buy stuff for Raymond, ready for his arrival. As they chat, Jack gives his condolences to Mitch and mentions that he understands what he's going through, as he went through the exact same thing when Ronnie passed away. But before he can make an exit, Mitch can see that there's something troubling the family man, he insists he sits and they talk. Jack admits that the main thing that is concerning him is Amy and her behaviour, he panics that she could be turning into her Mum, Roxy. Which in all serious, isn't a bad thing! Roxy was an incredible woman who stood up for what she believed in! I feel it's been nice that the Mitchell sisters have been mentioned, makes me realise how much I miss them in the soap. They were truly iconic characters. If Amy was to be a follow-up Roxy then I wouldn't mind. But I think Jack needs to realise that Amy is becoming of age now and she can decide she can be whoever she wants to be. Okay, she might make some mistakes, but children need to learn from their mistakes, right?! I think maybe Jack is being a little over protective, or am I seeing it differently?! What do you guys think?

Returning to the Cafe - we've been here a lot this episode - Ben finds his Dad and confides in him that Callum could lose his job for everything he's done for them. It's obvious that Phil has complete faith in Callum and he informs his son that he would do exactly the same for Ben if it was him. He completely stands by the fact that he's doing this for his son! Ben warns his Dad that after today, he doesn't him asking Callum anymore favours where he could get into trouble.

At the restaurant, Linda is busy working her shift for Max. Bobby is also helping out as Sharon pops in to apologise for leaving him in the lurch the other day when she received Bobby's belongings. Bobby is completely sympathetic and understands to which she responds with how she can help with his Lucy Beale Foundation, its then the young teenager reveals he wishes both she and Max be trustees for the charity. They are both deeply honoured and agree to the roles, Sharon asks whether Ian has been made aware of his choices but Bobby admits that the news would be better coming from her. Something tells me that Ian will be okay with Sharon, but not specifically Max. Suddenly Linda appears and she's delighted to see her friend ... It's blatantly obvious that Linda is all dressed up for Max, even Sharon compliments her dress and new make-up. Max even offers her a full-time job at the restaurant which Linda politely declines ... or actually shall I say, she flirts with him and states that he can't afford her! To be honest, the way Mick has been treating her lately, I'm not surprised she's slowly falling into Max's arms!

At the Carter flat, Tina confronts her brother, she knows there's something bothering him. He's even acting cold towards her, stating he needs her spare keys back. He's ignoring everything she's saying and instructs her to leave them on the table. Tina is pushing for answers, acknowledging that he's pushing everyone around him away. She pleads to her brother to let her in, she tries to rejog his memory, mentioning how awful it felt when his son wouldn't tell them all about his depression, and also when Linda was suffering with her alcohol addiction, he was the supportive Dad and Husband! Mick knows that his sister is speaking the truth and its like he holds on to every word. He asks her whether she means what she says about him being a great Dad, and Tina is just stunned to hear him even ask that question!

The next scene shows Ellie entering the Arches, she appears to be ready and waiting for Phil to give her the money. However, Phil then informs her that she isn't getting a penny from him, during this scene I feel like cheering at the TV! It's great seeing Phil put someone in their place and not being able to worm their way out of it! He confronts Ellie with all the information he knows about her multiple properties and how awful it would be if something was to be found there. Ellie looks fearful and angry, she knows he is up to something. Suddenly her phone rings and it looks like someone is giving her unfortunate news, it's then that Ritchie makes herself known and confirms that if she just signs the document, it will be known that both Mr Mitchell and Ms Fox did not kidnap their own child and indeed instead signed over! Ellie is less than impressed as Phil offers her a pen!

Back at home, Denise comes home to find Jack sat quietly on the sofa. Is it possible that his conversation with Mitch has been playing over and over in his mind. He tells Denise that since Ronnie passed away, he's never been able to talk to someone or trust someone as much as he does with Denise. This scene is particularly upsetting, both Jack and Denise admit how much they love each other, but Jack informs her that she needs to look after Raymond and he needs to be there for Amy. I think it angers him how much Phil is involved, but he's come to realise that no matter what they do, Phil will always be involved, as he is Raymond biological father! They sadly agree to go their separate ways, for their children.

Meanwhile, Kheerat finds Suki in his office as he's accompanied by Stacey. Seriously, does anyone hate Suki as much as I do? She takes one look at Stacey as shouts "No!" - but it looks as if both Stacey and Kheerat know full well that Stacey has been given a job with them. Kheerat confirms that she starts the following morning, as she leaves, Suki makes the harsh dig that Chantelle wouldn't be happy. Kheerat warns his mother not to even cross that line! But then she turns the conversation to the Slaters again, stating that they could fit a few flats in that one house! Kheerat can see what his Mum is trying to say and is adamant that as soon as Stacey gets paid, she'll be able to pay the rent. But Suki warns that if they miss one single payment then they are out!!

Returning to the Carter household, Mick is finally reaching out to his daughter, Frankie, pondering over whether to send her a message or not, asking if she's okay. He eventually presses "Send!" The final scene on the Square is a very touching one, Denise walks onto the Square to see a car pulled up. She asks Ritchie whether Raymond knows who she is, and whether he's been told anything about his Nan. Ritchie confirms he doesn't and slowly this shy little boy walks towards her with a small suitcase. From across the Square, Phil is watching everything unfold as his son is finally reunited with his mother. Tears begin to fill his eyes as he watches his son from a distance. Denise crouches to the little boy's level and promises to take care of him. As he takes the young boy inside, Callum asks Phil whether everything is all done now, it's then Phil happens to say "For today!" - is he going to now fight for custody against Denise? I'd hate to see Phil and Denise fight over their boy after everything they've been through with Ellie together!

I didn't realise it, but it turns out that this episode was Ellie's last episode. I'm kind of feeling a bit disheartened as I was hoping to see more from her, I was expecting something really big like a custody battle that would go on for weeks/months! But I guess she played a good part while she was on the soap. However we never got to know much about her, other than she was dangerous, but why was she dangerous?! I'm sure there would've been so much more to her character! What do you guys think? Are you sad to see her leave or do you think her exit worked out well?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much for reading, I'll be back tomorrow following up on tonight's episode! Enjoy the rest of your week folks! Love you all xXx

[eyeshock]

Hollow Taunts

I felt insulted.  Day to day, I wiped down counters, swept, dusted, even mopped when I stayed late enough. Let me tell you- in a sit down place like ours, on a busy street like this, we always had hundreds of people come in. Retro guys with long hair, vapor wave girls with clear long boards, even a priest in unnaturally dirty sneakers. Of course things were constantly messy and everything was always being used. Though, I for one never knew a holy man could leave behind so many used napkins behind in just one sitting. Things insulted me, of course, but this was my job. To clean and make sure everything was in its place and usable. It cleared my guilty conscience. Then, after a month of small talk with my coworkers I never cared to look at much and a month of looking at the walls I didn’t care are enough to talk to, insulted didn’t fit the shape I had become. 

Mocked. Played with. Suddenly, I was on a stage with the restaurant taunting me from the crowd. 

Surprisingly, the blinding lights were the faces of the customers and the laughing was coming from the objects. 

The heater? It giggled whenever I tried washing off the melted crayons from its warm surface. The Bar that stretched the length of the room would give me judgmental signs when I brought the sanitized water bucket out to clean it off. Why would a bar be judgmental? The ceiling fans snickered every time I stared up at them with a duster in my hand. That I could understand. I’d be laughing at a hopeless man too if I was that high up.

Their taunts only got louder and unavoidable at night. The customers would filter out, the crowd getting thinner and thinner and my patients with it. Jacob would clock out, then the cooks, so it was me locking up 4 out of the 7 nights we were open. It was my job, but it had suddenly become unbearable. 

After two months I caved and informed my manager I wouldn't stay late anymore, telling him I had to babysit nights for my sister that I may or may not have. Who was he to turn my request down? He was so soft towards Amy, the 24 year old cashier. Yes, she wore colorful beads around her neck and never buttoned her uniform, so she was always treated softly. Myself included. I tried to get his sympathy anyways.

“What kind of 30 year old guys babysits kids?” was his response. 

The kind who hears objects talk, I thought. That prompted the table we sat at to laugh. Whether it was at my thoughts or my manager's underlying suggestion, I couldn’t tell.

“A compassionate, helpful guy?” I had answered with a tone just as trying as his initial question. 

Jacob frowned. He did that whenever I clocked in, so I was unfazed until the lamp that illuminated our booth giggled. I frowned back. I told him it would hopefully be for a short month, but really I knew it would be until the lifeless shapes stopped judging me. Until they cut the judgmental noises. 

Once I stopped closing, my wallet became a little lighter, but Amy started talking to me more. She really was a nice girl, I could see why Jacob was easy going with her. It really just made me think he shouldn’t be pointing a finger at me when he asked why I would willingly babysit kids. Jacob was older than me and Amy would’ve been my kid if I had sex in my teen years. 

Scratch that. I’d need to be 12. He was the creep between the two of us.

“You’re just so good and quick at your job,” Amy fussed after the third night I had been ‘babysitting’, “I never knew I could miss a man who wore the same murky green jumpsuit everyday,”

I blinked.

“This is my uniform? Your’s is just black because you represent the restaurant and need to be the first thing people see when they come in. You’re better at your job than I could ever be at mine, mine is just fueled by anxiety.” I rambled. After a few moments, I looked back to her to find her staring at me.

“Um, too much?”

Her smooth lips formed a smile while her sweet voice gave an effortless chuckle.

“No no! That was just, very open of you. I almost laughed!” and she did anyways. 

Amy continued to have her flawless smile on the rest of her shift and Jacob gave me extra jobs and things to clean. I didn’t mind, because for once, it was a person laughing for me instead of the soulless things laughing at me. 

Quickly, it was a daily goal of mine to make her laugh. My mind recorded it every time, playing it to drown out the laughs of the objects around us. I assumed she caught on thanks to how much more I started to chat with her, and amusingly, she played along. She’d more giggles and quiet laughs. I’d go into work expecting to see her colorful beads every time. The vibrant necklaces matched her laughter. Her whole person was composed and fitting, something I never found in anyone else. Never found in myself.

‘You know,’ the door spoke one night as me and Jacob closed wordlessly, ‘you cannot keep her forever. She has a life that isn’t you.’

“So?” I questioned just as quietly as it did. “I want her to have a life, to share her happiness with everyone like she did with me,”

‘That would’ve been fine, but she’s your life. Very unbalanced, don’t you think? You cannot bring the painting home from the museum, nor can it admire you back.’ 

The waxen windows started to snicker among themselves at the door's bold words. I pinched my eyebrows together.  

“You have obviously never been to a museum,” I looked away to resume my methodical sweeping, “that's the point. To come and appreciate beauty. Even when the display changes, or the building is torn down, or I die, the appreciation is there. It stays with me.”

The door stayed quiet. The windows, the tables, the bar, the lamps and ceiling fans all went quiet. I was the one to sign.

[emma-nation]

Bloodline - KamilahxMC Fanfiction (Chapter 3)

Summary: A Feral attack, a mysterious serum and a big mistake… what consequences will it bring to Kamilah’s life and her relationship with Amy?

Rating: T

KamilahxMC Tag List: @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @annabellewerecorgi, @voltos9, @scorpistraub, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @spacecarrousel, @justejuste727, @aureliaxj, @graceschoices, @sleeping-with-her06, @supersphynxsworld, @gavryllo, @galaxyside-0, @msuhailey, @zoe6111, @ptxgirwaffles, @tigerbryn11, @shanuuh, @ilovetaylor13m, @honorablebicycle, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @fal-carrington, @begging-for-kamilah, @kennaxval

Notes: 

- Thank you so much for the positive feedback on my post-finale fic, Till Death Do Us Part. I never imagined getting over 100 notes lol. Your likes/reblogs/reviews are deeply appreciated.

- When I wrote this chapter I had no idea of Chapter 16 yet, so I beg your apologies for putting Kamilah through more angst.

The Changes - 1 month later, 9:30 AM

Kamilah woke up in the morning with strange activity coming from her kitchen. At distance, she also heard music. A modern song she wasn't very familiar with. At first it appeared strange, but it didn't take long for her to remember she no longer lived by herself. She smiled fondly.

After finding out about her pregnancy, Amy didn't want to spend a minute away from her. Kamilah invited her to move in to her penthouse. It was the first step into this crazy family journey ahead of them. The female vampire thought she'd have a hard time getting used to the idea, but she was enjoying it more than she could ever imagine. Amy was working hard into giving her a lot of extra attention and care, and Kamilah loved rewarding her for that.

Actually she felt like doing that right now, the smell coming from the kitchen suggested Amy was preparing them an delicious breakfast.

"Oh no," looking at the digital watch on her bedside table, she realized how late she was for work.

"Amy, I missed the alarm," she complained, by the kitchen table.

"It happens, Kamilah. To all of us."

"It had never happened to me before."

"I've read many women will experience excessive sleepiness during pregnancy."

Kamilah rolled her eyes. That was a brand new symptom, aside from the intense hunger and mood swings.

"You're too obsessed with these books," she mocked Amy. The girl would invest long hours into reading pregnancy books and websites.

"I know," Amy winked and smiled.

Kamilah embraced her from behind, placing a trail of kisses all over her neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Thanking you for cooking such a delicious breakfast?"

Amy turned around to face her and the female vampire kissed her long and passionately, while pressing their bodies together against the kitchen counter. Increased sex drive was another thing Kamilah was experiencing with her pregnancy, and apparently Amy did too.

"Aren't we... late?" Amy asked, between moans.

"We can make ourselves a little bit later," Kamilah told, nibbling on her lower lip. "Perks of being the CEO."

They left together to Ahmanet Financial. Amy never returned to her job at Raines Corporation after the argument with Adrian. She was doing a good job at Kamilah's company as Junior Executive. She didn't know yet, but part of Kamilah's shares were now hers. Since they were going to become a family, Kamilah wanted her future wife to have part of her assets.

She and Amy agreed to wait until the baby was born to decide if they were ready for marriage. Kamilah didn't want her to feel any pressure.

From the bigger fridge she installed inside her office, Kamilah took a blood bag. She had improvements with sickness, but her hunger had never been so intense.

"Kamilah," Amy entered the office, carrying some papers. "They loved the idea of building a space for children before school age inside the company. We've got... 100% of the votes."

"Great job, Amy," Kamilah responded with a smile. "Not only your idea encourage women to keep pursuing a carreer after giving birth, but the space is very educational too, preparing children for the school years. Congratulations."

"Thank you so much for giving me a chance. I mean, I didn't want to be an assistant forever, but I wasn't sure I was capable of something so big yet."

"Amy, you're capable of so much more. I trust you, this is why I've given you this job."

Kamilah placed a kiss on her lips. Amy placed her hands on her waist, then caressed her stomach.

"How long until it starts to show?" She asked, with some frustration. "I just can't wait."

"Not too long, I assume."

When her belly started to show, Kamilah would publicly announce to the media she was going to be a mother. Before, Amy would tell her family and introduce Kamilah to them.

Kamilah still wasn't fond of the idea of being pregnant. But Amy did everything to make her feel better about it. In the previous night, they went out together and the girl suggested they should buy an item for the baby. Kamilah thought it was too early, but she eventually agreed. She bought a beautiful navy-blue bodysuit with a little crown embroidered on it. Amy bought a pair of Converse shoes for infants.

"How are you feeling today?" Amy asked, noticing the empty blood bag on her desk.

"The same," Kamilah told. "No sickness, but the hunger is still extreme. Nobody can say this boy isn't your son, after all."

"Hey!"

----------

The Invitation - 1 month later, 12 PM

Kamilah was surprised when Lily Spencer wanted to see her in the middle of the day. Being such a young vampire, it should be more difficult for her to be out in the sunlight, even only for a few minutes.

"She said it's important," Erin told.

"Let her in."

Minutes later, Lily entered Kamilah's office in a hurry, joining her and Amy.

"Lil, what brings you here so early?" Amy asked, noticing she looked a little affected by the sun.

"I... I received this last night," Lily told between pants. "As well as... everyone else in the Shadow Den. I needed to ask Kamilah what it's about... people are panicking."

Kamilah took the envelope Lily handed her. It was a formal invitation for a Vampire Assembly, to discuss matters that could compromise the safety of the entire community, as well as the human race. Hosted by Adrian Raines.

"What?!" Kamilah shouted when she finished reading.

Amy grabbed the invitaton and read it too.

"Do you think..."

"I'm very sure of it. After all, I'm the only Vampire in New York who hasn't been invited."

Kamilah confirmed with Erin. She hadn't received any mail from Adrian in the last couple of days.

"Guys," Lily looked at them confused. "What's going on? What are you talking about?"

Kamilah let out a long sigh.

"Tell her," she told Amy.

"Just like that?" Amy asked. "Lil, Kamilah is pregnant. With my baby."

Lily laughed for five minutes straight, before realizing they were serious. It was only when Amy explained in details, that she was finally convinced.

"Wait, so you're telling me this crazy experiment Adrian made, impregnated Kamilah with your child. Who could be not only the heir of Ahmanet Financial, but the most powerful living vampire?"

Amy nodded in response. Lily immediately broke down in tears and hugged her best friend as tight as her mortal body could handle.

"I'm going to be his aunt, right?"

"Of course, Lil," Amy started crying too. "In my mind you've been his aunt since the moment I found out."

"That's it," Lily sniffed and wiped off her tears, "we need to celebrate. Kamilah, where's the booze?"

Kamilah wasn't paying any attention. Her eyes were red in pure anger again. Adrian was hosting an assembly to convince the Vampire community of New York that her son was a hazard, and ask them to sign a petition in favor of interrupting Kamilah's pregnancy. That shoudn’t be allowed to happen.

"Kamilah," Amy placed a hand on her shoulder. "We should go to this assembly. We have the right to expose our version of the facts too."

"After what Gaius has done, Amy? They'll hunt us alive to preserve their safety."

"We can't just stay here with our arms crossed while they make this decision for us! It's our son."

"The best we can do is to leave New York," Kamilah lamented. "One of my major offices is in Los Angeles. We'll be safer in West Coast."

----------

The Assembly - 1 month later, 10 PM

After much pondering, Kamilah decided Amy was right. They couldn't simply run away from their own home. The life of their child was their decision to make. No petition would make her change her mind about keeping her son.

When they arrived, the largest conference room in Raines Corporation was crowded. Every vampire in New York was watching as he presented a slide show, explaining his experiment and the mistake he had done.

"This baby was generated from blood of the Tree Of Eternal Life, as did Gaius, Xenocrates and Rheya, the First Vampire. He will be carrying the very same power in his veins. A power that will control him and transform him into a ruthless monster."

Kamilah crossed her arms, wondering when would be the most appropriate moment to interrupt. By her side, Amy couldn't hold herself anymore.

"Kamilah is not only being irresponsible," Adrian continued, "but extremely selfish. After everything this city went through with Gaius, are we ready for another bloodshed, another war?"

When Kamilah noticed, Amy was already standing by his side in front of the room. The Vampires started to yell all kinds of insults and offenses.

"Good, Adrian told his version of the facts," she started. "As you know, every story has two sides and now I'm here to tell you mine."

They weren't willing to listen, but Amy proceeded with her speech. Kamilah was admired by her bravery and determination to fight for their starting family.

"You couldn't have picked a better mom," she thought, placing a hand on her belly. It was the first time she actually did that. Amy spoke to their baby all the time, telling stories and assuring him of how much he was loved.

"The blood from the tree was only part of this child's conception. He's the result of Kamilah's DNA mixed with mine and most of all, he's resulted from our love."

Amy glanced in Kamilah's direction and the female vampire responded with an approving nod.

"I understand you are all scared, after everything we went through with Gaius. But I promise you, that if we have one chance to raise our son, we'll make him a good man."

"I'm not risking my existance again," a vampire yelled from the middle of the crowd.

"Neither will I!" Another one added. "Death to the Third Son!"

The rest of the crowd joined him. All repeating the same words.

"Death to the Third Son!"

Upset, Amy returned to Kamilah's side. Kamilah wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

"You tried," she attempted to comfort her. "But there's no problem, okay? We're going to Los Angeles, where nobody will ever touch our boy."

"Okay," Amy muttered, "it's still unfair. He's being judged and sentenced even before he's born. New York should be his home too."

As they left the room, Kamilah exchanged one last look with Adrian, who passed his petition to the crowd. There was something different about his face, instead of darkness, Kamilah detected a hint of sorrow and sadness.

----------

The Promise - 1 month later, 1 AM

Despite the exhaustive day she had, Kamilah couldn't force herself to get any sleep. Amy was sleeping by her side, like a rock. She wished she had this same ability of resting her mind so easily and get a deep night of sleep.

She closed her eyes, trying to relax, when she heard the bell ringing. Who could it be, so late at night? Before opening the door, she looked at the video security system.

"I didn't expect to see you here," she sighed, opening the door. "What do you want, Adrian?"

"I wanna talk to you," he answered.

"We have nothing to talk about. I've made my decision."

"Please."

Kamilah guided Adrian to the living room. She acommodated herself on the couch, next to him.

"Only Lily refused to sign the petition. Jax isn't willing to risk the safety of his clan again," Adrian told.

"Who cares about their opinion?" Kamilah scowled. "It's my son and I'll kill whoever tries to hurt him."

There was a moment of silence between them, until Adrian crumpled the petition and threw it in the fireplace.

"I know. And I completely understand you."

"What?"

"I'm so sorry, Kamilah," he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "There were a lot of things going through my mind. I failed my company when I made such a big mistake. I failed you too. You've told me you never desired to have children, not even as mortal."

"I'm still not very fond of the idea, but..." Kamilah's lips curled up in a smile. "Amy makes it look so easy and amazing. I want to try. I want to start a family with her, the woman I love."

"I've been there. I still remember when Eleanor told me I was going to be a dad. I was happy, but at the same time I was scared, insecure. In the end, I failed them both too."

"Adrian..."

"But I won't fail again," Adrian fought a smile. "Kamilah, do you forgive me for all I've done? I was so consumed by my own feelings that I never considered yours. Deep down, I think I was jealous of what you and Amy have, and of your child. I'd do anything to..."

"You stil can," Kamilah placed her hand on top of his. "You can have a family again."

"Would you give me the honor of being this kid's uncle? I promise to protect him with my life, if I have to."

"Of course. After all, if it wasn't for you he'd never exist."

Adrian wiped off a few tears from his face before hugging Kamilah and stroking her stomach.

"Thank you, Kamilah. So, have you picked a name for this little guy yet?"

"I may have something in mind."

----------

The Betrayal - 1 month later, 6 PM

After some effort, Kamilah and Adrian managed to convince the vampire community to trust they'd keep them safe, and raise that child with caution, watching for any possible signs of danger.

With that, she was free to live in New York with Amy by her side. There was still one thing she'd like to do though, make their commitment official. Inside her secret drawer, she grabbed a small box containing a ring and smiled. That night, after taking Amy for a special dinner, was the perfect opportunity to propose her.

"Ms. Sayeed," Erin knocked on the door. "The blood bags you ordered have arrived."

"It was about time. I'm starving."

Kamilah took a blood bag and stocked the rest in her fridge. Erin watched her in silence.

"Anything wrong, Erin?" She raised an eyebrow, while she drank.

"Nothing, Ms. Sayeed. I'd like to know if you'll need anything else before my shift ends."

"Actually," Kamilah grinned. "You can go home earlier. I have a special dinner tonight."

"Really? What's the occasion?"

"I'm officially asking Amy to marry me."

"Such good news, Ms. Sayeed," her assistant prepared to leave her office. "I wish you all the luck in the world."

"Wait," Kamilah told her, "could you do me one last favor? Would you hire a..."

A sharp pain in her lower abdomen made her wince. The pain started to grow stronger, becoming more and more unbearable. Something Kamilah had never experienced before.

"Erin..." she groaned. "Call Adrian... I think I'm... I'm losing my baby."

Erin stared at her with a cold gaze. It was obvious she had put something in Kamilah's blood bag. Some abortive substance.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Sayeed. I've heard the news. I'm not willing to risk the future of my kind to preserve your child. Have a good night."

She closed the door and locked it from outside. Leaving Kamilah and her baby at their own fate.

[mirroralchemist]

Untitled FFXIV Trash, a side story

Basically a crack sequel to pt.5. But it’s somewhat not crack? I just felt bad I did FIVE angst feels things so this was to lighten myself up. It was a stray shitpost idea that my WoL is so obvious in her feelings for Thancred and sorta oblivious to the others that Scions made bets on how it was gonna turn out.

I ran with it. Literally wrote this in two days so it’s not my best. When is anything ever my best tho? What is best loool

Stepping back into Mor Dhona always felt like a homecoming. Watching as the town goes about its daily business grounded me from where my travels took me. I gave simple nods in greeting as I headed for Seventh Heaven. The employees there gave me a short wave in greeting, having grown accustomed to my comings and goings of their establishment. I opened the door to the entrance of the Rising Stones, essentially home. It had appeared it was one of the lull times. Either people were out missions, or resting before the next duty calls them out. The others still unable to reunite the spirit with the physical and my subsequent journey to the First, it left a hefty role to fill.

It was comforting to see that everyone had filled that role readily.

“Eh? Ami?”

Tataru had noticed me standing at the entry. I made my way towards her, a small smile on my face. It had felt entirely too long since I had last saw her. Whenever I did have to travel back to The Source, it was never within the vicinity. The Lalafell scanned me up and down. Without a doubt, she was checking up on me.

“You’re finished with the business over there in the First? It didn’t seem terribly long since you left.” she asked.

She was kept somewhat abreast of the world I got summoned to, thanks to Feo Ul.

“Rifts are peculiar. It felt like I’ve been there longer. Anyway, I wouldn’t say finished but we reached a standing point so it was suggested I come back and report.”

“There’s a certain change about you from last we spoke.” she admitted, “But we can discuss the particulars later. I’ll get Krile and you can tell us everything.”

“You mind-,” I began, “you mind if we get some of your tea blend brewing. I miss it.”

She gave me the brightest smile.

“Of course Ami, of course.”

It only took a short while to summon Krile and with three cups of tea we secluded ourselves to one of the tables to talk. Mostly to recount my tales of dispersing the primordial Light from Norvrandt. I didn’t go too deep into the others personal growth along the way, just enough to satisfy that they too were safe given the circumstances. I could feel the relief as I gave this news. With the report now over  it brought us back to the main issue at hand, getting the others back into their bodies. Krile sat thinking of all that was spoken. Soon she jumped off the chair and walked to the chambers where the Scions’ bodies remained in slumber.

“I suppose now is a time as any to check if there’s been any changes. You’ve given me a lot to process Ami, maybe I can take this knowledge for something.”

She closed the door and started to get to work, leaving Tataru and I. I stared at the door for a moment before focusing back on the tea in front of me. If I took any sort of lesson from all of this, it was to look at the present sometimes. There was nothing I can do but to wait. My eyes widened, suddenly remembering the package.

“Oh! Y’shtola wanted me to deliver this to you Tataru.”

I passed the pouch and sealed missive to her. She seemed surprised at the gesture but then grinned once she read the parchment. She gave me the strangest look.

“Well I’ll be damned.” she spoke in an awed whisper.

I tilted my head in confusion. Soon turning into a blush as she really looked at me. Scanning me up and down once again. I knew the last time we had met my hair was shorter, but it wasn’t a reason for her to look at me so intently.

Right?

“It seems I have a lot of collecting to do soon! Okay everyone, it’s over!” she shouted, “One won, plus a bonus of physical.”

I watched in utter confusion as the scions that were left went to our table and deposited gil into the pouch. With each one, they looked at me with a look of understanding and joy? I even received a few celebratory pats on the shoulder. It was a fast transaction; which I had expected no less from the woman who handles all our finances. But I still utterly confused.

“Um, Tataru?”

“Yees Ami?”

“Would you explain what that was?”

Tataru blinked. I blinked. She jumped back a bit in surprise. I was still confused.

“Oh, you had no clue. Of course you wouldn’t.” she mumbled, “If you did then this wouldn’t have happened. Oh dear. Promise you won’t be cross?”

“I cannot promise that, but I can at least not instinctively react until you explain.” I answered.

She twiddled her fingers before flashing me a cute smile, already a flag I probably was not going to like what I was about to hear.

“Humorous situation really. But we may hap bet on who it was you got romantically involved with?”

Wait.

I was still for a moment. My mind understanding the words she had spoken. I blinked slowly. Oh...oh. That told a lot really. I snapped my head up at her, full blush all over my bare skin.

“What! You bet on my personal life?”

“Don’t get cross!” she suddenly said, “I swear it was a jest at first! It was after we moved here, you retired early. Granted given how much you helped with the moving efforts. The rest of us had a small housewarming celebration. Few drinks and it boiled down to admiration of all you do. I swear you can never ever doubt how much you mean to people here.

Anyway! Talk passed around about how we never see you just enjoying yourself. It’s training this or duty that. Gods Ami, you’re an appealing young lass, you can afford to enjoy yourself. More drinks and we came upon a realization that you are not has hidden with your emotions as you seem. If we were honest even sober we can see how your eyes wandered to one in particular. It was quite the open secret that the gaze you held was amorous in nature. Except for the man himself, the daft fool. One would assume with how much he is seen with women he would know when one is-”

“Tataru, you’re deflecting.” I pointed out, sighing.

“Oh! Apologies. As I was saying, we had jest how long it would take for you to confess. Then someone asked to put gil down for it and that is how it started. Given how long it’s been since then we had quite a few takers and surprises when other players appeared. Once all of this calmed down I might take a trip back to Ishgard. Some of the residents there were quite adamant on Ser Aymeric. I had never seen a man so open in his affection for you and you just unknowingly dismissed them.”

I opened my mouth to say something. But soon closed it. I was unsure to feel insulted that my personal life seen in such a way or touched that they cared about me that much. I buried my head in my hands. For now, I just needed a moment to absorb all this.

“Ami, you’re okay?”

“A moment.” I responded, “It’s not exactly easy to get over the fact that everyone knew I had held such feelings for Thancred. For years.”

“More than that given those marks on the back of your neck.”

I slapped the back of my neck, wincing at the still tender spot. It had only been a few days since that night, places still sore marks are apparently still visible. On a related note, that means that at the very least, Y’shtola knew. I felt a small hand on my free hand. It certainly wasn’t how I wanted for this to pan out. I had deep inside knew that it would eventually be known, I hadn’t expected this soon.

“Who is the one who won?” I asked.

At that her face fell.

“...She didn’t put anything monetary down, but Minfilia always had a feeling it would happen. She desired for those two close in her life to find happiness. Just a passing coincidence if it happened with each other.”

I softly smiled at that. Minfilia, ever the optimist even when gone. I let out a small laugh which grew until small tears prickled at my eyes. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t be fully mad when they did not mean anything malicious by it. They truly were concerned for my being. I can deal with the inherent embarrassment with such an earnest concern.

“It’s only right that we take these earnings towards our coffers. Minfilia would want us to flourish with our eternal mission right?”

“Exactly.” she agreed.

We enjoyed our tea in mutual silence again.

“My ever inquisitive mind would like to know, was it all you imagined?”

I spat out my tea.

“Tataru!” I whined.

She laughed at my embarrassment. The Lalafell has quite a devious streak on her. But it was what I found endearing on her. I could talk to her as an equal, even indulge in idle gossip. As I wiped the spilled drink from the table, I felt my skin go hot again. The memories still fairly fresh on me.

“I-I” I stammered, “I don’t exactly have any other experience to base it off of. But it was fine. He was patient. I have no clue what exactly you want me to say to that?”

“More than that for sure.”

“You are a handful Tataru. I suppose that’s what endeared me to you. I’ll be staying for a little while, so maybe just maybe I’ll share more.”

[mobius-prime]

199. Sonic the Hedgehog #131

Deep breaths, guys. I know what the cover page says. I know. We'll get to that. Just hang in there. I think you might like what I have in store.

Home (Part 2 of 4): The Gathering

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

So not much actually happens in this installment of Home other than the various characters talking to each other about and preparing for the upcoming battle. Since Sonic has been gone, a new Freedom Fighter Special has been constructed that can cut travel time dramatically around the globe. A journey that in the Tornado or on foot (in Sonic's case) would have taken up to two hours can be completed in a mere half hour now, thanks to Rotor's engineering prowess. And thus, Sonic and Tails head out to Old Megaopolis to stop Eggman's twin nukes from launching, along with an… interesting backup team, to say the least.

Man, remember Fiona? It's been ages since we've seen her! It appears that while Sonic was in space, she joined up with the crew in Knothole and has been helping them fight Eggman. That's definitely a better life for her than to be running with the likes of Nic the Weasel, eh? Meanwhile, Knuckles, Julie-Su, Amy Rose, and the other two (active) members of the Chaotix head to Fort Acorn, where General D'Coolette is giving a speech to the soldiers under his command. We've never even heard of this fort before, but according to the general it's been here for ten years, keeping a forward watch on Robotropolis, and this watch has been maintained even after Robotropolis' destruction in case of just such a situation as the current one. With their reinforcements from Knothole, the crew at the fort prepare to defend the city against a massive swatbot assault to lower the forcefield keeping the radiation in check. Back in Knothole, extra measures are being taken to make absolutely sure that even if the worst happens, the citizenry will be safe.

Station Square, for their part, has sent a squad of GUN commandos to help in the battle at Old Megaopolis. The commander of the military is baffled by this decision, wanting to send in their full fighting force, but the president instead opts to trust his allies from Knothole - though just for insurance, he's sent one of his own operatives along for the ride…

Now that's what I like to see! It's about time Rouge got herself some proper screentime. As all this is going on, Eggman waits aboard a docked battleship in the harbor of Old Megaopolis with his assistant M, and orders A.D.A.M. to begin the missile countdown. However, almost immediately, the sound of a biplane puts them on high alert, and Eggman is shocked to see Sonic and Tails bearing down on his location, not having expected them to be able to get here nearly so fast. See, Eggman, this is why you resist the siren call of your ego and keep your damn plans to yourself. All you did was give your enemies ample warning to prepare to foil your evil plot, you idiot!

Mobius 25 Years Later: Prologue

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jensen

Okay, guys. This is it. We've reached the most Penders thing of all time. This is something that has been hinted at here and there from all the way back in the Sonic In Your Face special to now, and we're finally seeing the culmination of all of that buildup. All the intricate worldbuilding, all the complex character arcs, all the intrigue and political spider webs and back to back wars and everything that the world of Mobius has been through up until now - there's so much to explore, so many directions it could have gone. We're about to see what this world might look like twenty-five years into the future, and with so much rich history to draw from, what might you imagine this story might look like? What genre might it fall into? Well wonder no longer!

It's a drama. It's a teen drama.

There's a reason that Mobius 25 Years Later is widely considered to be one of the worst parts of the comic. The tone of it is just so far off anything else we've experienced so far that it clashes horribly with what we've come to expect. It's not some masterful subversion of expectations or something - in a lot of ways I consider it to be a genuine insult to the rest of the preboot's material up to this point. It's painfully and immediately clear that this is a story Penders has wanted to tell for a while, but, not being able to fit his "middle-aged adults adulting everywhere and being so adult-like while ignoring the feelings and difficulties that ordinary teenagers face" plot anywhere into the rest of the comic, he's opted to just fire the world a couple decades into the future, pair all the major characters off into weird and oftentimes arbitrary heterosexual marriages, give everyone 2.5 children and a titanium picket fence, and then throw in some allusions to the old "war against Doc 'Botnik" here and there lest we forget, entirely understandably at this point, that we're reading a Sonic the Hedgehog comic here. This thing goes on for nineteen whole issues, taking up each subsequent issue's backup story, and ultimately has no real impact on the actual story involving the characters we already know and love. However, this is technically canon, or at least a version of canon (as when you play with alternate realities and multiple timelines, futures are bound to get mixed up here and there), so we're gonna be covering it - all of it. I wouldn't be tempted to skip it anyway, as by delving into each chapter in this trainwreck, we can actually explore why this whole thing fails so hard, and why it's therefore so loathed in the fandom. Plus, I do recognize that some people actually do enjoy this arc for various reasons (one of my close friends does, and has a whole AU of her own relating to it in fact), so I do plan to at least try to be fair in my review - but I really can't hide that I find this whole affair boring as hell, often downright offensive, and ultimately completely out of place. With all that in mind, let's dive in!

We begin with a full page of exposition delivered to us via high school lecture, because everyone knows the best way to establish your worldbuilding is by infodumping it directly into your audience's eyeballs. Apparently, over the last twenty years, Angel Island has been heavily developed into its own independent republic, with a new city, Portal, acting as the center of trade between the island and the mainland below. We're once again introduced to Lara-Su, who, instead of being the badass time-traveling young adult whom we followed before, is now an ordinary teenager taking ordinary high school classes among a bunch of ordinary high school echidnas.

One of the biggest failings of this story is that Penders writes every teenage character how he thinks teenagers act, from his point of view as a middle-aged adult. This becomes abundantly clear the longer you read, as every teenager is a hormone-fueled, authority-defying, entitled, whiny, fickle child who just doesn't understand how the real world works, while every adult is a wise, experienced, and highly logical individual who always knows more than their younger fellows and refuses to pay attention to the whims of mere children. Like, I'm not even exaggerating here - I'm going to be pointing out every instance of this kind of behavior over the entire rest of this arc, and you can't stop me, so nyah nyah. Penders shows so little respect for the mere concept of teenagers, which is a terrible attitude to have not just in general, but especially if you're one of the head writers for an entire series about teenagers saving the goddamn world! Anyway, case in point: the teacher, instead of admonishing Rutan for being a bully, merely snaps at Lara-Su for not acting enough like a "young lady" and tells her to stay after class. Ugh.

Later that day, Rotor arrives on Angel Island as a liaison for the royal ruling couple, Queen Sally and King Sonic, because yes, Sonic literally becomes king in this timeline. He catches a ride from Harry - hey, good to see our favorite dingo still doing well for himself at least - and meets with Espio, who is now apparently Knuckles' secretary or something. At least, that's all I can assume from this weird-ass conversation.

As a matter of fact, yes, Sonic and Sally are bringing their two children, Sonia and Manik, to the family dinner! How very mid-70s domestic family unit of them! Espio informs Knuckles of this over a television screen as the latter broods around in some kind of high-tech facility. Unlike what we've seen of Espio, the years have dramatically changed Knuckles' appearance - his right eye is missing, replaced with a mechanical one, and he sports the cowboy hat that Hawking gave him in the past (you know, the one we never saw again after he received it). While I actually quite like the idea of a main character in the comic losing something as important as an eye, I feel like there's a huge missed opportunity here - instead of just thrusting us into an alternate future where everything is fine but one character is inexplicably missing an eye, how about actually showing us the story of how that eye was lost? Show us a Knuckles who's learning to cope with the loss of an important body part, and having to adjust to his mechanical prosthetic! Go into his feelings about the subject, as someone who has so long been opposed to a faction that thrives on mechanical prosthetics, instead of just skipping over what has the potential to be the most interesting part of this story! Ugh, sorry, there's just nothing that gets to me more than a missed opportunity like this. Knuckles and Espio exchange some tortured small-talk about their kids for a little while, with the only interesting part of the conversation being their discussion of Rotor's arrival and how he's likely here to see someone named Cobar, with whom he apparently has a history. More on that later. Knuckles excuses himself from the conversation, as he has to be home in time for his daughter's "Unveiling" tonight, and as the call ends we zoom out to see that apparently nowadays, the Master Emerald is hooked up to all sorts of technology in this facility, presumably maintaining everything automatically. However, this story isn't done throwing weird curveballs at us yet - it's time to see what our former villains are up to in this future!

There is so much to unpack here. Dimitri, feared overlord of the Dark Legion, is now an amiable cyborg-head-in-a-bubble. Lien-Da, the treacherous second-in-command who regularly spoke of betraying Dimitri and taking the Legion in her own darker direction, is now apparently a single mom who's embraced the domestic life, taking care of her rowdy teenage son while, predictably, complaining about the behavior of kids these days. And weirdest of all, apparently everyone is just fine with these literal former terrorists living in their midst and doing ordinary mom and grandpa things, with Lien-Da even apparently amenable to the idea of trying to make up with Julie-Su because "they're family," despite her history of, you know, erasing Julie-Su's memory multiple times and killing her biological parents as revenge for her birth. I mean, is this what Penders thinks adulthood is? Is he even entirely sane? Does he know the definition of terrorism?

Any-goddamn-way, Knuckles arrives home to his eerily sterile-looking steel-plated mansion that looks more like the lobby of a pharmaceutical laboratory than a place where people live, and greets his loving housewife Julie-Su, who's gained a cute giant ponytail but lost absolutely everything else that made her unique, including her own cybernetic parts and just her personality in general. She informs Knuckles that Lara-Su has locked herself in the bathroom and is having herself a mighty tantrum, refusing to come out to get ready for her Unveiling ceremony, which is apparently the equivalent of a Quinceañera for echidna girls. Knuckles, instead of doing something reasonable like asking her why she's upset, starts aggressively demanding that she come out of her room this instant, while Lara-Su repeatedly yells about how she doesn't wanna. Ugh, teenagers, amiright?

Seriously, I just can't get over how little respect Penders has for teenagers in his writing. Like, yes, I acknowledge that teenagers aren't always the most logical of beings, but they're also not goddamn three-year-olds either. They're old enough to articulate their desires and express their unique opinions, and often do so in very mature ways, especially if they're raised well and treated with the same respect you'd afford any adult. I should know, I was one myself. I would have assumed Penders was one as well at some point, but perhaps he just popped into the world one day as a fully-formed 43-year-old, full of disdain for those younger than himself. It would certainly explain everything we're seeing here.

Anyway, it turns out that the reason Lara-Su is upset is because Knuckles refuses to train her to be a Guardian, and so she whines and yells about it from behind the door like a petulant child as Knuckles continually refuses to actually give her a solid reason why he won't let her be one. When Julie-Su basically forces him to calm the hell down and explain himself, he reluctantly explains that since all the duties of a Guardian have by now been taken over by other functions of their society, he feels there's no longer any need for one, himself included. This is apparently enough to make Lara-Su immediately happy enough to burst out of the bathroom and grab her father's arm, suddenly totally excited to go to her Unveiling as long as Knuckles promises her the first dance. Ah, the fickle mind of a silly, silly teenager!

Kill me.

[thenightling]

My horror dislikes list

I love horror, particularly Gothic Horror as a genre. However there are certain common types of horror or sub-genres of horror I don’t really care for.  Just because I don’t like it, it doesn’t mean I don’t understand it or can’t appreciate that others might like it.    This is just my personal opinion and I mean no offense to anyone.  And some of what I may list will be controversial to some.   Bear that in mind.  Horror that I don't care for:

1.  This one is probably the most controversial so I’ll list it first. 

Most controversial:  H. P. Lovecraft.   It's not that he is "too wordy" or "long winded." (Never insult me like that.)  It's not that I "don't get it."  It’s not that he uses “archaic language.”  (These are real things people have assumed when I tell them I don���t like Lovecraft).  I just feel he's overrated.  I don't like his antisemitism, which was considered extreme by 1930s American standards.  And I don't like how he's credited with creating certain concepts that weren't really his doing.  His ideas about long sleeping ancient / forgotten Gods or Old Ones can be found as early as Goethe's Faust Part 2, if not earlier.   Other authors that had similar ideas before Lovecraft include George MacDonald, author of Lilith.     Sometimes I like when other people adapt Lovecraft.  I liked Neil Gaiman’s A Study in Emerald.  I liked the origin of Morpheus’ helm in Sandman: Overture (also Neil Gaiman).  I liked the two episodes of The Real Ghostbusters animated series inspired by Lovecraft.  I even like the spoof Lil Cthulhu.  But I’m just not a big fan of actual H. P. Lovecraft. This doesn’t mean I haven’t read it.  Nor does it mean I don’t understand it.  And I do appreciate his influence on pop culture.  I just feel he’s overrated.       2.  I don't like Rob Zombie movies.  It's all the same to me.  Boring, grimy, sweaty, eldgelordy- full of overused modern tropes like flickering lights, jump scares, and "I haven't showered in a month" antagonists.  He sucked the supernatural out of Halloween and there's nothing truly distinct about any of his films.  It's just a style that doesn't appeal to me. 3.   CG.  I love practical effects.  Most CG is lazy, cartoonish, and doesn't look like it's really there.  I know it can look realistic and gorgeous at time but most horror films don’t take that route.  Most horror directors use it lazily. There’s a Night of the Living dead 4 or 5 by the Syfy Channel where a manhole cover is clearly CG.  Why did a manhole cover have to be CG?!  And there’s CG blood in Spartacus: Blood and Sand, which is very distracting because it looks like jello flying at the camera.  The werewolves in An American werewolf in Paris are already dated and very fake looking yet the transformation in An American Werewolf in London still gets to people today.  The werewolves in An American werewolf in Paris didn't even look real by 90s standards.  They looked like beasts that escaped Who Framed Roger Rabbit.   In the Fright Night remake there's a scene where a windshield shatters in front of Amy's face and she screams on que but she doesn't flinch or blink, making it very clear the glass isn't really there.  Had it been sugar glass or ice to give the effect, there would have been a natural flinch.  I feel practical effects, if you can't guess how it was done, can be more unnerving and the reactions seem more real.  That's why some 80s fantasy is more unnerving for kids than some modern horror.    4.  Jump scares.  Jump scares are lazy.  Being startled is not the same as being afraid.  And when they add a musical chord to accompany the scare it's like idiot proofing ot say "This is where you should react."   The only jump scare that ever worked on me was when I was twelve-years-old watching Interview with the vampire.  Louis says "It's the carriage." and he goes down to the door. And you know damn good and well it's not the carriage.  He opens the door, there's no one there.   You know it's coming, but when he turns his head and Lestat's hand grabs his throat, I jumped the first time I saw that.  I knew it was coming.  But I still jumped.   To me a good scare is when it creeps in and crawls under your skin. When I was watching Let the Right One In I remembered thinking “Ah, this isn’t so scary.” and it was at the part where Eli climbs up the side of the hospital.  It was snowy outside, just as it was in the movie, and late at night.  And at that moment the power went out. For a split second (It was only a second) I thought “Oh, crap!  Vampire child’s gonna get me!”   And I was a grown woman in 2008.  I was twenty-six-years-old. Another incident that made me realize just how scary Gothic horror truly is was when I was watching a History Channel show about the real Castle Dracula.  And it mentioned the locals seeing mysterious lights and noises up in the castle so some priests were sent to bless the place.  A storm came in suddenly and the priests had to do the blessing from a distance.  (This was Poenari castle, not Bran.  Bran is used for tourists.  Poenari is where Vlad spent most of his time but it’s considered unsafe).  And as I watched this I remembered that storm summoning was supposed to be one of the vampire Dracula’s powers. At that moment the door creaked open And I practically leapt out of my skin.   That’s when I knew Dracula is actually scary.

I also had a nightmare once about being a werewolf in the style of The wolfman. In the dream I blacked out during the transformation and then suddenly it was hours or a day later and I knew I must have done something terrible and I found loved ones slaughtered.   I remember the guilt in that dream and I knew The Wolfman had reached me on a level most horror doesn’t, on a fear of what it must be like to be like him.           My most recent experience with a truly good sense of my skin crawling horror was watching an episode of DC Universe's Swamp Thing. A child is possessed with the ghost of Abby Arcane's dead childhood friend.   She's been singing their old song and acting ...well, weird.   "If you're her than prove it?"  She is smiling menacingly.  It looks like she'll do nothing.  Abby turns to walk away.  This is where most jump scares happen.  But it doesn't.  As she nears the door it slams shut but that isn't the end of it.  It's not just a stupid psych out jump scare the way most horror movies do now.  Instead the whole atmosphere of the room changes.  Everything becomes damp.  The lighting dims.   Everything becomes slightly off-kilter or "wrong" like in a nightmare.  It was so atmospheric, so spooky... It was the best Gothic horror moment I had seen in literally years.  I had goosebumps.  5.   The polarization of vampire fiction triggered by the Twilight fad.  Thankfully this is dying now.   But for a while vampires were divided into two styles.  The broody, whiny emo, or the mindless killing machine AKA "the Shark with legs."   I missed the balance of charming and charismatic, but also predatory.  I missed the likes of Frank Langella as Dracula and Chris Sarandon as Jerry Dandridge. The Fright Night remake was disappointing for this reason.  I hate that vampires rarely shapeshift now.  I hate the nerfing of their powers.   And I hate that Jerry's human-side was erased as a reactionary response to be anti-Twilight.   It ruined the remake for me.  6.   Ghosts that movie like a broken VHS tape.  The jerking movement ghosts of ghosts that suddenly flicker or spasm and suddenly are a few stepped forward without actually moving...  This works in Ringu / The Ring because she IS a damaged VHS tape but in other ghost stories it doesn't really work for me.  it takes me out of the story and I notice it's following a trend. 7.    Torture porn.   Pity, and gross-out is not fear.  It's like how that game show / reality show  "Fear Factor" confused fear with disgust. "eat these random cow pies" isn't fear, folks.   Actually Torture porn kind of bores me . I don't feel fear.  It's just drawn out mutilation and torture.  I may feel pity for the character or be disgusted by the graphic mutilations but I'm not afraid of it.  And it's lazy and cheap.  8.   Next on Lazy and cheap...  Found footage.  I HATE found footage movies.   Shaky cam and screams into a camera don't do it for me.  And they all feel the same.    9.   Most Zombie Apocalypse movies.  Most recent Zombie apocalypse movies bore me.    There are a few exceptions like the original Night of the Living Dead, which, at the time it was made was unique and atmospheric but many zombie films attempt to imitate it and it becomes bland and formulaic.   I also liked Return of the Living Dead because it was one of the first Zombie Apocalypse movies.  It hadn’t yet become dull and predictable to me that everyone huddles together and it becomes more and more futile until there is no one left or it’s utterly hopeless.  And so as things became repetitive I started to dislike the ‘zombie apocalypse genre.”   Exceptions include Night of the Living Dead and Return of the Living Dead.  I also like the original White Zombie and I walked with a Zombie but those are pre-Zombie Apocalypse.   There are a few zombie films I like that aren’t that scary but I like them because they are different.  Those include “My boyfriend’s back.”  (Daddy, I love him!”  “He’s a zombie, you freakin’ idiot!”  I love that line).    And Warm Bodies.   And please don’t use Warm Bodies to discredit my status as a horror fan.  I just like it because it’s different.  First, R isn’t that bad of a protagonist.  He’s more well developed than Edward Cullen and he spends half the movie eating the brains of the dead boyfriend of the girl he’s pining for, carrying bits of brain in his pocket.  There’s no sugar coating that.   Also it’s one of the few zombie apocalypse movies to have a happy ending.  Yeah, it’s sappy and a bit hamhanded bu tit has a sweet message.  Sometimes it’s okay to like sweet.

 10.   Remakes that suck the supernatural out of a supernatural story.  I’m tired of gritty.  I’m tired of “grounded in reality.”  The supernatural is scary because it is unknown.  In the case of Child’s Play, a hacked AI doesn’t seem as creepy to me as a soul of a serial killer seeking a new host body. Also the cynical part of me suspects the “grounding in reality” is a direct ploy to get a release in China, which does not like supernatural content in American import movies. This is part of why Disney / Marvel has been downplaying Marvel’s supernatural side.  I miss supernatural horror.   I’m tired of remakes literally sucking out the soul.  

11. Bonus: Anything based on a “true case” by The Warrens.  I believe in the paranormal.   I respect paranormal research but The Warrens were known con artists, even among paranormal researchers.   If you look at most of their haunted house cases there’s a particular formula.  Woman moves into dream home with loving, Catholic family. Weird things slowly start to happen. The husband is skeptical / getting possessed.  The wife goes to the church for help.  The priests can’t help or nothing happens in front of them.   Desperate she attends a Warrens lecture.  Never fear, The Warrens are here!  And lo’ and behold, the house is full of demons!  Demons only The Warrens know how to Handle.  This happens in The Haunted (Not to be confused with The Haunting), it happens in Gave Secrets: the story of Black Hope Cemetery and pretty much every other haunted house story they got involved in.   They made book and TV movie deals and later bigger Hollywood movie deals.  Now half the horror and Parapsychology world thinks they were demonology heroes and not the con artists who once ‘exorcised a werewolf” (Look it up.)  I am not a fan of The Warrens.

[bechloeislegit]

A to Z BeChloe

X is for XENA, X-RAYS, AND XENON

Prompt from electroniszappa: For X, a bit of a challenge for you. Find a way to include Xena, X-Ray(s), and Xenon.

"Oh, look," Flo said excitedly. "Henna, Warrior Princess is coming to Netflix."

"Hen-na? What?" Fat Amy said. "Who is Henna?"

"She is the Warrior Princess," Flo responded. "She is a reformed warrior princess who travels around fighting evil."

"That's not Henna," Fat Amy said. "That's Zena, Warrior Princess."

"No, it's not!" Flo said.

"Yes, it is!" Fat Amy said.

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it's not!"

"Stop it, the both of you!" Beca said coming in from the kitchen after hearing the yelling. "You're both giving me a headache."

"But, Beca," Fat Amy whined. "Flo is messing with Xena's name, and I can't have her messing with the warrior goddess like that."

"She means Henna," Flo said. "The warrior princess."

"It's pronounced Zee-na," Fat Amy said.

"Shut up, both of you," Beca said and takes a deep breath before facing Flo. "Flo, Fat Amy is correct. In America, we pronounce the X like a Z in a lot of words. So, X-e-n-a would be pronounced Zee-na."

"Really?" Flo said. "I thought I was doing well with understanding and speaking English, and now this?"

"Well, Hispanic words are the same," Beca said. "Like, X-a-v-i-e-r. How would you say it?"

Flo took a pen and wrote the name down. "I would say, Hav-e-air."

"And most Americans would say, Zay-vure," Beca said.

"That is just loco," Flo said shaking her head.

"Loco? Who's Loco?" Fat Amy asked looking at Flo. "What does loco mean?"

"You are," Beca said with a laugh. "It means crazy."

"You speak Spanish?" Fat Amy asked now looking at Beca.

"Not really," Beca said and then grinned. "Just enough to know that you are being a puta about Flo's English pronunciations."

Flo snickered, and Fat Amy looked at them both with narrowed eyes. She knows it was probably an insult, but she's not sure.

~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~

Beca and Chloe came in late from their date to find Stacie and Flo in the living room. Chloe continued to the kitchen to grab them some water, while Beca stood in the entryway to the living room. Stacie was sitting on the couch with a notebook in hand and Flo was reading from some index card. Beca assumes correctly that Stacie was studying and Flo was helping her.

"What is henon?" Flo asked looking at a card in her hand. "What type of element is it? What is the atomic number? And give a brief description of it."

Flo finished reading the card and looked up at Stacie expectantly.

"Henon?" Stacie asked confused. "There is no element called henon. That's a trick question."

"No, it's real," Flo said. "It even has the number next to it."

"What's the number?" Stacie asked.

"It's, oh, no no no," Flo said with a light laugh. "I can't tell you. You're supposed to tell me. You won't learn anything if I give you the answer."

"But there is no chemical element called henon," Stacie insisted.

"She means xenon, Stace," Beca said from the doorway.

"Oh," Stacie said. "Xenon is a chemical element, and its atomic number is 54. It is a colorless, dense, odorless noble gas found in the Earth's atmosphere in trace amounts."

"That is correct," Flo said looking down at the card and then back at Beca. "It's not pronounced henon?"

"We've had this conversation, Flo," Beca said. "Remember when you and Amy were arguing over how to say Xena? The same principle applies here as well. The X should be pronounced like a Z, so x-e-n-o-n is zee-non, not henon."

"It is confusing," Chloe said now standing next to Beca. "Like we say Jesus with the J sounding like a G. Some Hispanics pronounce it Hay-seus, so the J sounds like an H."

"So, the x is always a z sound?" Flo asked.

"Pretty much," Beca said. "Like xylophone starts with an X but you say it as if it starts with the letter Z."

"Oh, and the name Xavier," Chloe said. "Same thing. The X sounds like a Z."

"We already covered that one," Beca said.

"What about x-e-r-o-x?" Flo asked. "I have heard it pronounced zeer-ox. Why is it not zeer-oz?"

"That's a whole other thing," Stacie said. "When the X is located in any position of a word other than as the first letter, it is always pronounced as ex."

"Like Xerox," Flo said, and Stacie nodded. "What are some other words?"

"Box," Beca replied. "Explanation, except."

"Fox, mix, fix," Chloe added to the list. "Mexico, lexicon."

"So, if I see an X at the beginning of a word I should pronounce it like a Z?" Flo asked.

"Exactly," Stacie said. "Now, can we get back to my studying?"

"Sorry," Flo said and picked up another card.

"Don't stay up too late, girls," Chloe said. "We'll see you in the morning."

"Good night," Beca said, and she and Chloe went upstairs to bed.

~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~

Flo still had a little trouble with the x sounding like z, but she made great progress.

"It's time for our Zee-na marathon," Flo said, taking special care to pronounce Xena's name correctly in front of Fat Amy.

Fat Amy just smirked and nodded her head. The rest of the girls came in and sat around the TV. Fat Amy pulled up Netflix and found Xena: Warrior Princess.

"If anyone needs to use the bathroom or needs a snack or drink," Fat Amy said looking around the room. "Do it now, because once I start, I'm not stopping it."

"I'll grab some snacks," Jessica said getting up.

"I'll grab everyone some drinks," Ashley said and followed Jessica.

"Bathroom," Chloe and CR both said and laughed.

"I'm too exhausted to worry about it," Beca said and stayed where she was.

"How do you spell eg-zausted?" Flo asked Beca.

"Um, e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d," Beca said. "Why?"

"Well, you pronounced the X like a Z," Flo said. "I thought you said that if an X was in the word, it was pronounced only like an X and not the Z. So, wouldn't it be ex-hausted?"

"I, um, it's, uh," Beca sputtered. "I don't know what to say to that. Stacie?"

"Yeah, I got nothing," Stacie said. "The English language is just a bunch of words that some pseudo-intellectual threw into a book and called it a Dictionary and everyone decided that's how all the words are spelled and pronounced."

"Wow, all in one breath," Beca said and laughed.

"Meh," Stacie said waving her hand like it was no big deal to her.

"Anyway, Flo, you speak English very well," Beca said. "Don't let it get to you."

"She should learn how to speak proper English," Fat Amy. "Like me. I came from another country, and my English is perfect."

Beca snorted. "Australia's main language is English. And you still use Australian terms or slang, and we don't know what you're saying. So, not the best example."

"What I'd miss?" Chloe asked as she came back to the living room.

"Flo was asking again about how to pronounce words with the letter X in them," Beca said.

"I thought we covered everything, Flo," Chloe said.

"There is still much to learn," Flo said. "I still have trouble spelling some words because so many are pronounced the same."

"Give us an example," Stacie said.

"Okay, um, stare and stair," Flo said. "When I was younger, and we had spelling tests, the teacher would not always use the word in a sentence, so it was hard to know what word to spell."

"Ugh, we have a lot of those," Beca said.

"Sounds like you didn't have a very good teacher if she didn't use the word in a sentence to let you know which version she wanted," Chloe said. "When I'm a teacher, I will make sure that my students know the spelling and meaning of the word as well as be able to use it properly in a sentence."

Beca was smiling and staring at Chloe with heart eyes. Stacie threw a pillow at her and laughed.

"What?"

"Someone's hot for teacher," Stacie said.

"Shut up," Beca said and then looked at Chloe with a grin. "But, I so am!"

Chloe laughed and kissed Beca. "Good."

~xXx~ ~xXx~ ~xXx~

Chloe and Flo were in the auditorium working on choreography for the upcoming ICCA Nationals Championship. Beca had given them the setlist with notes on who should solo what part.

Flo and Chloe listened to the set several times before tying out a few moves. Chloe was more of a flow and move kind of dancer, whereas Flo had more of an ebullient gymnastic style to her dance. Working together they had a pretty good start by the time Stacie and CR showed up.

"Sorry, we're late," Stacie said as she and CR walked down to the other two girls. "The Professor wouldn't stop talking."

"Yeah, it's like he knows people have other things to do so he sees how long he can go before someone breaks," CR said.

"This time it was almost me," Stacie said. "If he hadn't stopped when he did, I was prepared to just get up and leave."

"I would have been right behind you," CR said.

"Well, you're here now," Chloe said. "Listen to the setlist first, and then we'll show you what we've come up with. Then you can make suggested changes. Sound good?"

"Yeah," CR said, and Stacie nodded.

Chloe hit play, and the four Bellas sat and listened to the set list Beca came up with. Chloe couldn't help but smile. It was good, and she was smiling like the proud girlfriend that she was. CR and Stacie were listening intently, and both smiled when it came to an end.

"This is good," CR said. "I have some ideas but let's see what you two came up with and then we can talk."

Chloe started the setlist again, and she and Flo showed the others their choreography. Once they finished, CR and Stacie made suggestions, and the four ran through the new steps.

Chloe was making a crossover move when she tripped over her bag. She put her hand out to stop her fall and fell on it hard. She let out a small scream and grabbed her hand to her chest.

"Oh, my God!" Stacie yelled and rushed over to Chloe.

Chloe sat on the floor holding her hand as tears flowed down her face.

"Are you okay?" CR asked as she knelt next to Chloe.

"I think I might have broken it," Chloe said through her tears.

"Let me see, sweetie," Flo said gently pulling her hand away from where Chloe was protectively holding it against her chest.

Flo looked at Chloe's hand. "Oh, sweetie, I think it is broken."

"It hurts," Chloe said.

"Let's get her to the hospital and have it checked out," Stacie said. She then hugged Chloe to her. "I'll call Beca and have her meet us there, okay?"

Chloe just nodded her head as Stacie and CR helped her to her feet. CR grabbed her and Chloe's bags, and the four girls made their way out to Stacie's car.

Once at the hospital, Chloe was given a form to fill out and told to wait. Beca came rushing into the hospital and ran over to Chloe and hugged her.

"You doing okay?" Beca asked.

"Yeah," Chloe said. "It hurts like hell, but I'm okay."

"How did this happen?"

"I tripped over my stupid bag."

"Chloe Beale," a voice called out.

Beca helped Chloe stand, and they went over to the nurse that had called for Chloe.

"Can my girlfriend come back with me?" Chloe asked.

"That's fine," the nurse said. "Follow me."

Beca came back out about fifteen minutes later and told the girls Chloe was going to be taken to get her hand x-rayed. After passing on the information, Beca hurried back to be with Chloe.

The rest of the Bellas came running in and found Stacie, CR, and Flo.

"How is she?" Jessica asked.

"They're going to take her to get her hand x-rayed," Stacie said. "We think it's broken."

"Where's Fat Amy?" CR asked noting the boisterous blonde wasn't with the other girls.

"She was with Bumper and said she'd meet us here," Ashley said.

Beca came back out. "They just took her to x-ray. The doctor is pretty sure it's broken, but they need to see where the break is before they put it in a cast. It should take about thirty minutes. You all don't have to stay. I'll be here and will get Chloe back home."

"Are you sure, Beca?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah," Beca said. "Chloe knows you all came and told me to tell you to go home."

"Okay," Ashley said.

"I'm staying," Stacie said.

Flo said they would stay, too. The rest of the girls left, and Beca sat with Stacie and Flo. A few minutes later, Amy came strolling in and went up to the girls.

"How's Chloe?" Fat Amy asked.

"She's okay," Beca said. "The doctor thinks she broke it."

"Can we see her?" Fat Amy asked.

"Not yet," Flo said with a small grin. "They took her down to get it z-rayed."

Beca bit her lip to hold back the laugh that nearly escaped at the look on Amy's face.

"You mean x-rayed?" Fat Amy asked Flo.

"No," Flo said, tongue in cheek. "The X at the beginning of the word is pronounced like Z, so she's being z-rayed."

Beca laughed and high-fived Flo. "Nice one, Flo."

Fat Amy glared and said, "Touché my little Latina friend. Touché."

I know this is a little shorter than the rest, but honestly, there was only so much I could do with the prompt. I think I wore out the X on my keyboard; I've never used the X key so much in my life. Anyway, I hope you had some fun with it as I did.

[clay-air]

IT Reddie/Stanlon/Benverly In the Flesh AU

Losers are in their early/mid-thirties.

Living: Bill, Ben, Mike

PDS sufferers: Georgie, Beverly, Stan, Richie, Eddie

Five years ago, the dead rose all around the world, and the small town of Derry, Maine, was no exception. Halfway into the zombie apocalypse, a breakthrough drug called neurotriptaline allows the risen dead to regain their senses—rebranded as Partially-Deceased Syndrome sufferers, they receive treatment and begin to be integrated back into the communities they nearly destroyed. Derry was never the most tolerant of towns, and to no one’s surprise the surviving townsfolk are incredibly hostile to the returning PDS sufferers. It is in this setting that seven Losers—each damaged in their own way by the events of (and prior to) the Rising—find each other and start to heal.

Disjointed outline and notes below the cut: I will definitely never actually write a fic for this bc I am pathologically incapable of turning my ramblings into a cohesive story with a plot and all that, so everything is up for grabs!!  If you do get inspired by my musings and write or draw something, please lmk!!!  Also feel free to comment with your own thoughts/ideas/headcanons!!!!

Warning for references to: suicide, homophobia, spousal/parental abuse, hate crimes, self-harm scars, violence

Bill Denbrough gets his baby brother Georgie (their age gap is a lot bigger in this AU) back but has to deal with the residual guilt he still feels about his death (an accident Bill maybe could have prevented). He saw Georgie after he’d risen, missing an arm and eating a dude (alternatively, Zombie!Georgie actually kills Bill’s wife Audra bc Bill hesitated over shooting him, and Bill has to deal with that while also trying to make sure Georgie doesn’t find out/remember what he did) and was the one to restrain him so he could be sent to the treatment center.

Ben Hanscom loved Beverly Marsh from afar until she went missing (killed by her abusive husband who later died during the Rising) and when she comes back to Derry from the treatment center with no one waiting for her, he decides this time he’ll actually step up and be there for her. Of course he has to actually get her to trust him first. She vaguely remembers him as a guy who was always nice to her, but it’s dangerous to assume that anyone in Derry has less-than-homicidal feelings regarding those with PDS.  Beverly is starts off nervous and flighty, but eventually adopts a very “middle finger to the whole damn town” attitude, and, despite her initial reservations, finds that the words of a certain Undead Prophet are starting to resonate with her....

Stanley Uris committed suicide before rising from the grave, and he’s trying to find a reason to stick around for his “second chance at life” that he never wanted in the first place. Can he finally move past the cloying, suffocating fear he felt every second he was alive now that he no longer has any need to “fear the Reaper”? He finds companionship in Mike Hanlon, a quiet man who defended his farm on the outskirts of town all by himself during the Rising, luring the Risen who wandered on to the property into a barn and keeping them inside once he heard about the successful neurotriptaline trials. Mike’s refusal to join the Human Volunteer Force during the Rising (he didn’t want to kill anyone, zombie or not) earned him the scorn of the already-pretty-racist townsfolk.

Richie Tozier was the victim of a homophobic hate crime, and now because of bureaucratic bullshit (reintegrated PDS sufferers need to be incident-free for a minimum of three years before they can change their address) he has to come back to the very same town that loathed him enough to kill him. Also they have another reason to hate him now! He’s trying to take it in stride (or at least outwardly appear like he’s taking it in stride) but his murderer, Henry Bowers, is basically a town hero for helping form the HVF, and he’s using his status in the town to make Richie’s already pretty miserable half-life hell. Things start turning around for him when he finds a reason to stop playing hooky and actually show up for the Give Back program: another PDS sufferer who is wound up tighter than anyone he’s ever met, is absolutely CAKED in flesh-tone makeup, and whose snapped insults in response to Richie’s trashmouth antics don’t carry the now-familiar hatred behind them that he’s become accustomed to. Also he’s cute as fuck. But damn, gay thoughts come with a lot of baggage after being gay literally got you killed.

Eddie Kaspbrak succumbed to slow poisoning by his mother, who’s Munchausen by proxy escalated with deadly effects. Unfortunately, once he’s released from the treatment center Eddie has nowhere to go but back into her open arms. She refuses to acknowledge what she did to him, and starts using his daily neurotriptaline doses as a new way of controlling him (Eddie is absolutely PETRIFIED at the thought of going rabid). Ironically, his only moments of freedom happen when he’s at work for the Give Back program (his mother’s protests that he’s too frail to do manual labor don’t really hold up under the fact that he’s kind of unkillable now?) where he meets a fellow PDS sufferer who’s an irredeemable trashmouth but who treats him more like a human being than anyone ever has, even counting before he was a literal zombie. And no, Eddie does not think he’s fucking funny. He doesn’t.

Featuring:

- Beverly supplying Eddie with DIY neurotriptaline she learned how to make from the ULA website so he can get out from under his mother’s thumb, which he accepts after an hour-long tirade about how she doesn’t know if it’s safe or even STERILE (“Eddie, honey, I don’t think we can get infections anymore” “it’s the PRINCIPLE of it, Bev!”)

- Mike showing Stan that all the bird species he saw in the woods when he was alive are still there, and that the Rising didn’t destroy everything good in the world, also introducing him to his secret library

- Bill bringing Georgie to Mike’s farm so he can see and work with the animals (and also so he isn’t in town where someone might mention Audra). Mike is somewhat disapproving of Bill’s not telling Georgie what happened, but he sympathizes, and tries to help both brothers work through their trauma. (Stan eventually convinces Mike that he should be taking care of himself too)

- Ben struggling to convey to Beverly that he genuinely wants to be her friend (and more) and help her (Bev: “Oh wait are you one of those guys who finds the whole ‘undead’ thing hot? Why don’t you go to the PDS brothel then and leave me alone?” Ben: *internal screaming*)

- Richie and Eddie building fences at 1/6th the pace of all the other pairs of Give Back program “volunteers” bc they can’t stop ribbing each other and arguing and also Richie might’ve made it his new-life’s purpose to get Eddie to smile and laugh as much as possible. “Do you even still need glasses, asshat?” “The better to see you with, my Spaghetti” “Don’t fucking call me that”

- turns out Richie and Beverly sort of hunted as a group during the Rising (a la Kieren and Amy) and now they like to get together in the Barrens, get high off sheep brains, and try not to have panic attacks about what they did while unmedicated. Bev confesses that while she hates the slow-drip of returning memories of the Rising, she hopes that one day she’ll remember being the one who killed her husband because that would mean she got her revenge in the end. Richie offers to help her jog her memory by reenacting it with him starring as her husband, but she just laughs and punches him in the arm. “Be glad I can’t feel pain anymore, Marsh, that seemed like it might’ve done some serious damage” “Beep beep, Richie”

- insert that ep 1 scene with Rick’s dad dragging the neighbor’s PDS wife into the street and shooting her, but replace with Bowers killing Adrian Mellon as Bill  watches from through the curtains across the street with Georgie’s head tucked into his chest so he can’t see

- Stan slowly coming into his own through what starts off as relatively harmless acts of rebellion against Derry but escalates to all the Losers having a blast vandalizing their own graves. “Honestly Richie, I’m surprised your epitaph wasn’t ‘blessedly silent at last’” “Woah! Stanley gets off a good one!”

- Richie visiting the Kissing Bridge where he was caught halfway carving his name + ??? by Bowers’ crew and was brutally beaten before being thrown into the river. Looking back, it was hardly a crush worth getting killed over, but this time he feels like he’s drowning in his feelings (of fucking course it would feel like drowning) and he’s terrified. Carving a shaky “E” where he never got to finish his declaration last time takes some of the weight off his heart.

- Ben finally getting Beverly to realize that he’s been in love with her since long before the Rising by telling her that he was the one who wrote the anonymous postcard she received a few months before she died, and showing her all the other poems he’d written over the years. “January embers”...

- Bill and Mike helping Eddie gather proof that this mother was responsible for his death by combing through Derry police records and autopsy reports (also hey, turns out you can still detect all those poisonous chemicals in his partially deceased body!) and using it to get him essentially emancipated and his mother arrested. Eddie moves in with Richie afterwards and being in close proximity all the time brings both their feelings to a boil.

- Georgie does eventually remember encountering Bill and Audra during the Rising. “I died, and you lied”. He runs away into the Barrens where he meets a strange PDS sufferer who wears clown makeup instead of the usual flesh-mimicking stuff...

- the creeping emergence of a ULA splinter group led by Pennywise that starts haunting at the edges of Derry and stoking the fires of the townspeople’s fear against the Risen. Eventually they kidnap Georgie to their weird sewer cult dungeon under Neibolt bc they think he’s the First Risen (lol sorry dudes, wrong side of the pond), and the Losers have to gear up and go get him back before a fucking clown EATS HIM to bring about the Second Rising.

Physical appearances:

Eddie: wears his contacts and makeup religiously until he is able to escape his mother, at which point he starts to let loose a bit (it helps that Richie says he’s still adorable, even tho Eddie would never admit to that). He has a gash in his cheek and a huge puncture wound straight through his chest, both of which he sustained during the Rising.

Richie: wears glasses even tho he doesn’t technically need to anymore. Gave up on the whole makeup thing pretty early bc it was a pain to apply, but he does sometimes wear the colored contacts when he’s out and about for the Giveback Program. He’s covered in cuts and blue/purple bruises that he sustained in Bowers’ attack, and has a big nasty stitched-up gash just above his hairline from hitting his head on a river rock.

Beverly: makeup and contacts whom? She has a pretty conspicuously hand-shaped bruise around her neck that she tends to cover with scarves tho

Stan: wears the makeup and contacts, but is much better at making them look natural than Eddie is. Matching scars on each wrist that he keeps covered all the time. A bullet hole in his side from the Rising.

Georgie: wears the makeup and contacts. Missing an arm (injury sustained during the Rising)

[oscopelabs]

Elvis, Truelove and the Stolen Boy: The Tragic Machismo of Nick Cassavetes’ ‘Alpha Dog’ by Amy Nicholson

[Last year, Musings paid homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to films we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Our first round of Produced and Abandoned essays included Angelica Jade Bastién on By the Sea, Mike D’Angelo on The Counselor, Judy Berman on Velvet Goldmine, and Keith Phipps on O.C. and Stiggs. Today, Musings concludes our month-long round of essays about tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

A decade before the presidency that elevated insults like “betacuck” and “soyboy” into political discourse, Nick Cassavetes made Alpha Dog, a cautionary tragedy about masculinity that audiences ignored. Time for a reappraisal. Alpha Dog is about a real murder. Over a three-day weekend in August of 2000, 15-year-old Zach Mazursky—in reality, named Nicholas Markowitz—is kidnapped and killed by the posse of 20-year-old San Fernando Valley drug dealer Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) with a grudge against Zach’s older brother. No one thought the boy would die, not his main babysitter Frankie (Justin Timberlake), not the girls invited to party with “Stolen Boy,” and not even the boy himself, played with naive perfection by Anton Yelchin, who played video games and pounded beers assuming that his new captor-friends would eventually take him home.

Cassavetes’ daughter went to the same high school as Nicholas Markowitz. The murderers were neighborhood kids and he wanted to understand how fortunate sons with their whole lives ahead of them wound up in prison. The trigger man, Ryan Hoyt—“Elvis” in the film—had never even gotten a speeding ticket. Prosecutor Ron Zonen hoped the publicity around Alpha Dog would help the public spot the real-life Johnny, named Jesse James Hollywood, who was still on the lam despite being one of America’s Most Wanted. So the lawyers gave Cassavetes access to everything: crime scene photos, trial transcripts, psychological profiles, police reports, and their permission to contact the criminals and their parents. Cassavetes even took his actors to meet their counterparts, driving Justin Timberlake to a maximum security prison to get the vibe of the actual Frankie, and introducing Sharon Stone to Nicholas Markowitz’s mother, a broken woman who attempted suicide a dozen times in the years after her son's death.

Alpha Dog, pronounced Cassavetes, was “95 percent accurate.” Which was part of why it got buried, thanks to Jesse James Hollywood’s arrest just weeks after the film wrapped. Cassavetes hastily wrote a new ending to the movie, but his problems were just beginning. Hollywood’s lawyers insisted Alpha Dog would prevent their client from getting a fair trial, and used the threat of a mistrial to force Zonen off the case. “I don't know what Zonen was thinking, handing over the files,” gloated Hollywood’s defense team. “It was stupid.”

The publicity, and the delays, dragged out the pain for Markowitz’s family, especially when they heard Cassavetes had paid Hollywood’s father an, er, consulting fee. “Where is the justice in that?” asked the victim's brother. “This just goes on and on, and I’m spending my whole life in a courtroom.”

The film, too, was pushed back a year from its Sundance premiere. Despite casting a visionary young ensemble—Alpha Dog was my own introduction to Yelchin, Ben Foster, Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Amber Heard, and the realization that Timberlake, that kid from N*SYNC, could actually act—no one noticed when it slid into theaters in January of 2007. It wasn’t just the bad press. It was that audiences couldn’t get past that Cassavetes’ last film was The Notebook. No way could the guy behind the biggest romantic weepy of a generation make something raw and cool.

But he had. Alpha Dog is a stunning movie about machismo and fate, two tag-team traits that destroy lives. Think Oedipus convincing himself he can outwit the oracle of Delphi. But Sophocles’ Oedipus telegraphs its intentions, elbowing the audience to see the end at the beginning. Greeks sitting down in 405 BC knew they were watching a tale that came full circle. Every step Oedipus takes away from his patricidal destiny just moves him closer to it.

If you map Alpha Dog’s script, instead of a loop, it looks like a horizontal line that plummets off a cliff. For most of its running time, Alpha Dog could pass for a coming-of-age flick where a sheltered kid with an over-protective mom (Sharon Stone) taps into his own self-confidence, right up until the scene where he tumbles into his own grave. Audiences who’d missed the news articles about the case weren’t clued into the climax. Cassavetes doesn’t offer any hints or flash-forwards, not even an ominous “based-on-a-true-story.” (The film might have been more successful if he had.) Instead, he lulls you into joining the kegger, watching Zach crack open beer after beer as though he expects to live forever. “There’s a movie sensibility that the film doesn’t conform to,” said Cassavetes. “You don’t watch this film. You endure it.”

As Zach, his eyes red-rimmed from bong rips, not tears, is shuttled between party dens and wealthy homes, he’s given several chances to escape. He’s even revealed to be a Tae Kwan Do blackbelt who can jokingly flip his captor-buddy Frankie (Justin Timberlake) into a bathtub. But Zach stays put—he doesn’t want to get his big brother Jake (Ben Foster) in more trouble, not realizing that Johnny is too busy making nervous phone calls to his lawyer and his aggro father Sonny (Bruce Willis) to get around to asking Jake for the $1200 in ransom money.

Zach’s death is disorienting, almost as if Psycho's Marion Crane got murdered in the second-to-last reel. In a minivan en route to his execution, he innocently tells Frankie he wants learn to play guitar. “It bugs me that I don’t know how to do anything,” he sighs. Meanwhile Johnny assures his dad that there’s no need to call off the killing. “These guys are such fuck-ups, nothing's gonna happen,” he shrugs, a rare example of cross-cutting that defuses tension in order to make the shock of the gunfire even worse. Up until the last second—even after Frankie binds him with duct tape—a sobbing Zach still can’t believe Frankie would hurt him, and honestly, Frankie can’t believe it himself. And Yelchin’s own early death makes you ache for him to get a happy ending, which Cassavetes dangles just out of reach.

This is how evil happens, says Cassavetes. Masterminds are rare. Instead, people like Frankie can be basically good, but can also be panicky and passive and selfish. Shoving Zach in Johnny’s van was an idiotic impulse by upper middle-class kids, who flipped out when they realized the snatching could get them a lifetime sentence. There’s no honor or glory in the violence. Johnny, the cowardly ringleader, talks tough, but orders his most craven friend, Elvis (Shawn Hatosy), to pull the trigger while he and his girlfriend Angela (Olivia Wilde) get drunk on margaritas. And after the murder, one side effect is that Johnny can’t get an erection. When Angela tries to get Johnny in the mood in their hideout motel, the walls close in on him, suffocating the mood.  

Away from his boys, Johnny is weak. Surrounded by them, he's the king. Alpha Dog sets up a culture of animalistic dominance. Johnny’s rental house is basically a primate cage at the zoo, only decorated with weight benches and Scarface posters. All of Johnny’s boys jockey to be his favorite and tear each other down in order to bump up their own rank. Kindness is weakness. When a fellow dealer with the ridiculous nickname Bobby 911 cruises by to negotiate a sale, he snarls at a guy who vouches for him: “You don’t need to tell him I’m good for it, man!”

Elvis, the future shooter, is the lowest member of the pack. He can’t ease into the group without Johnny ordering him to go pick up his pit-bull's poop in the backyard. Why do they pick on Elvis? He owes Johnny a bit of money, but the source of the scorn is simply group think. No one wants to be nice to the outcast, and Elvis is just too sincere to be taken seriously. When Elvis offers to get Johnny a beer, the guys tease him for being in love with Johnny. When he says sure, he does care about Johnny, they twist words into a gay panic joke. Elvis can’t win—they won’t let him—so he literally kills to prove his worth, and winds up sentenced to death row, where the real boy, just 21 at the time of the shooting, remains today. Another life wasted.

Cassavetes humanizes the killers because he wants us to understand how their micro decisions add up to murder. Not just the gunmen. Everyone’s a little to blame. The kids who got drunk with “Stolen Boy” and didn’t call the police. The girls who told Zach that being kidnapped made him sexy. Even Zach’s older step-brother Jake, an addict with a twitchy temper who escalates his war with Johnny to a fatal breaking point. Neither boy will back down over a $1200 debt, and there’s an awful split screen call when Johnny dials Jake intending to bring Zach home, but Jake is so boiling over with anger, his Bugs Bunny voice shrieking with outrage, that Johnny just hangs up the phone.

The opening credits, a montage of the cast’s own old home videos, underline that these were young and happy children—the kind of kids people point to as examples of the suburban American ideal. Over a treacly cover of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” we watch these real life boys being cultured to be brave: riding bikes, falling off dive-boards, running around with toy guns, going through the rituals of young manhood, from bar mitzvahs to karate lessons. Yelchin—recognizably dark-eyed and solemn even as a toddler—grins wearing plastic vampire teeth.

It takes another ten minutes for Yelchin’s character to sneak into the film sideways in a profile shot eating dinner with his parents, played by Sharon Stone and David Thornton. His Zach is barely even visible as brash Jake barges into the scene to beg for money. They say no, Jake stomps out, and Zach finally makes himself seen when he runs after his brother, begging to go anywhere less suffocating. Zach’s mom loves him so much that she watches him sleep. “I’m not fucking eight!” he yelps. He’s 15—practically a man, in his own imagination—and desperate to get away, even if it means mimicking Jake, a Jewish kid who’s so scrambled that he has a Hebrew tattoo on his clavicle and a swastika inked on his back. Jake starts to say that he wishes his own mom cared about him that much, but as soon as he gets vulnerable, he spins the moment into a joke. “Boo for me,” Jake grins, and takes another swig of beer.

“You could say it’s about drugs or guns or disaffected youth, but this whole thing is about parenting,” grunts Bruce Willis’ Sonny Truelove. “It’s about taking care of your children. You take care of yours, I take care of mine.” He’s half-right—his parenting is half to blame. Sonny and his best friend Cosmo (Harry Dean Stanton) taught Johnny to bully his friends. Cosmo, looking haggard and hollow, mocks Johnny for having one girlfriend. “You gotta plow some fucking fields,” he bellows. “Men are not supposed to be monopolous!” Not that “monopolous” is a real word, and not that Cosmo fends off women himself, except in his own big talk.

Cosmo and Sonny’s own posturing gradually emerges as being more dangerous than Johnny’s because it's more integrated into society. They’re the type of creeps who rewrite the rulebook to suit them, and attack journalists who try to tell the truth. When a fictitious documentarian asks Sonny about his son's drug connections, the father shrugs, “Did he sell a little weed? Sure.” But when the interviewer presses him further, Sonny snaps, “I’m a taxpayer and I’m a citizen and you are a jerk-off.”

Cassavetes, of course, understands growing up with a father who left a giant footprint to fill. His father, John Cassavetes, the writer-director of Shadows and Faces and A Woman Under the Influence, was one of the major pioneers of independent cinema. He died when Nick was 30, before his son attempted to take up his legacy. “We never really talked film theory,” said Cassavetes. “My experience with my dad was more along the lines of how to be a man, how to be yourself, how to free yourself from what society tells you to do, how to release yourself as an artist.”

It makes sense that Cassavetes would make his own ambitious, and maddeningly singular film. And perhaps it even makes sense to him that fate has yet to give him the reward he’s earned. Alpha Dog deserves to be acknowledged as one of the most incisive examinations of machismo and the banality of evil. But like his fumbling criminals, he knows he’s not really in charge of his life. Admitted Cassavetes, “I'm not smart enough to really have a master plan for my career.”

[theaterdisneynerdsunite]

Tony Awards Thoughts

So it looks like, at least for now, the CBS website lets you watch it for free (at least in the US). Here are my thoughts using those time stamps (be warned I have a long running commentary)

0:23 Oh is this going to be a parody of her playing the piano on last year’s Tony’s

1:05 How has neither one of them won anything? I mean I get if they said neither one of them one a Tony cause I mean, they both did shows that one time…but anything?

1:18 Is there anything more Broadway than saying the same rehearsed thing at the same time and pretending it was just part of the banter? Oh theater tropes I love you

1:36 That’s always been something that bothered me, people assume that just because something didn’t win the Tony doesn’t mean its not a great show, and the show that wins might not even be the best one that season (you know who you are). I love the Tony’s but its an award show, people don’t stop watching tv shows and movies or listening to artists that didn’t win or weren’t nominated, it makes me sad that so many shows close post Tony’s just because they weren’t the big winner. Anyways…

1:53 THEY CELEBRATED THE LOSERS LIKE ME, these A list celebrities that are totally not losers are soooo relatable ;)

2:40 A few years ago Something Rotten did what I thought was a brilliant advertising campaign listing amazing shows that lost the Tonys like them, so the fact that it was put into song gave me a fond flashback. See? SEE??? Oh it feels so good to be vindicated on tv

3:49 “If you make art at all your a part of the cure” :)

4:10 THEY HAD THE ENSEMBLE MEMBERS BE THE ONES IN THE OPENING NUMBER RATHER THAN THE LEADS THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. If only my high school self could have seen this she would have felt so much better

6:42 I didn’t see any of the plays this year but I heard the most about Angels in America this season so not surprised. Looks interesting

7:45 Happy Pride Month

8:40 Bake a cake for everyone who wants a cake to be baked would actually be a pretty good diction warmup

14:10 Kinda surprised that they didn’t pick Rather Be Me or Apex Predator considering those are the really marketed songs. “Where We Belong” seems a lot like “Status Quo” from High School Musical. I mean you’ll get that about high school clicks in the lunch room with a blond queen bee but like, even the dance moves felt similar, and the lunch tray dancing, even the giant cat decal. But like, it's not as catchy? I didn’t expect them to win anything tonight but I really don’t think they’ll win anything now? Is that mean? Just cause it feels like it was supposed to be a high energy number and it didn’t have that energy I thought it would. Also come on, just cause you want the girls to be shallow and dumb doesn’t mean the lyrics have to be that cringey. This feels like a less good version of if Legally Blonde and High School Musical had a baby (I absolutely love Legally Blonde that was not intended to be an insult to either show).

15:00 Is it me or did Amy Schumer look like she wanted to say something but Rachel Bloom kept talking. But it didn’t really have any joke setup or serve as a good segway for commentary, what could she have wanted to say?

15:35 Later on I’m going to see if I can find the award speeches that didn’t get televised. most of the world doesn’t get broadway they get regional theater, I wanted to hear what they had to say

15:45 Nick Scandalious feels like a cartoon name you’d see in an Onion article about the Me Too movement. His face even looks like the generic celebrity that had a TMZ scandal five years ago. I thought I read it wrong at first lol

16:40 I was cracking up they know their brand so well. The air quotes on emotional, perfect!

17:10 Mini Sara and Josh are so cute!

17:50 Ok I missed the reference, what is the giant bird lady from?

18:10 oh

20:57 celebrity child picture counter: #3 Amy Schumer. Also guess which year the musical described as “a comedy about class and sexism” is from? Yup it’s My Fair Lady, the audience laughed like I did in that sort of this is funny but also sad kinda way

26:00 This was so overacted and hammy and one day I aspire to that level of loud printed robes. Coincidentally my name is also spelled like Eliza but my voice is not nearly that good. Also does it count as drag if they are clearly men in dresses with some comical makeup or is there another name for it when they aren’t actually trying to look feminine?

26:18 The twitter usernames were too small to see on my screen who were the twitter pictures of?

26:30 See above comment

27:00 What show did Billy Joel work on? Also Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, and Josh Groban maybe my mom will finally enjoy theater

29:12 Oh my gosh that picture of Titus Burgess is amazing as is that suit. And that intro is so Titus its great

30:07 Renee Fleming we’ve got the Opera world here too? It’s so many famous musicians from outside broadway on broadway, think of all the crossovers

32:50: Yes spongebob get Josh Groban to sing more thank you for your service. Ok I’m not a huge fan of spongebob but they have to win for sound design that guy is on overload

33:27 Lol it explains so much why the songs sound disjointed cause they got a billion people to write them. Also lol I was waiting for that joke

33:50 Also what I thought would happen would be a medley that way Spongebob who really is the driving energy of the show and Squidward played by the Broadway darling would both have a song. This wasn’t how I expected them to do it, but I was sort of right so I’ll count it. I’m not really a fan of Spongebob the musical (I’ve listened to it twice once when it first came out and once during Tony Season. I’m not one of the people who hate it off the sheer premise and won’t give it a chance, but I just thought it was meh and not worth having the most nominations.) But Squidward’s song is very me, not in terms of melody cause that is I find most of the melodies to be rather generic but the lyrics are 100% me trying to convince myself. Also all I will be thinking about for the rest of the will be what tap dancing must feel like its gotta feel weird how long do you think he spent practicing it with and without the extra legs. Or it might be nightmare fuel with the sea anemone contributing to it, who knows? Probably both,

38:07 still don’t know whose handles those are

38:28 ^^^

38:40 Ok when I saw the outfits I was expecting a Chorus Line Parody, but this Sia parody fits this every genre but musical theater theme of this Broadway season

39:20 Eight times a week, and all the subsequent puns

40:28 Can I just say I love this return to singing interludes over awkward award show banter?

41:44 I saw the Bands Visit a few month’s back and I still don’t know how to describe it. Normally I would guess it would be the second fiddle of the Tony’s but considering the “purists” it’ll probably win most of the awards

44:16 With all the previous reaction shots you knew it had to be Nathan Lane. I always forget how well spoken he is because of his typical roles but he is really well spoken and sincere rather than trying to wise crack and it was so sweet. It made me smile

47:43 His face saying “blow high” has got to be a gif right?

51:45 The entirety of the Carousel number was me thinking if I had a higher sex drive this would totally make me thirsty. They also used very creative ways to physically embody the shape and workings of a ship but then again I’m admittedly biased. Listen to that number you know their vocal prowess was not why they picked it

52:12 I mean, I know that crew gets less attention than cast and plays less attention than musicals but I would watch the full version stop cutting out the speeches. C’mon I love costumes

53:04 I know your joking but that hurts

53:19 yes #4 famous kid photo Uzo Aduba

55:49 Ari'el Stachel’s speech is made all the more poignant when you realize everyone else in his category were white. Despite this season’s commerciality you actually do have shows and casts with Asian leads and African American leads and Latin American leads and Middle Eastern leads somewhere between the sea of shows like Spongebob and Frozen. Show these shows some love, prove that Hamilton wasn’t the anomaly but the rule

56:55 They brought the Parkland teacher for the theater education award! Fitting 65 students into a high school teacher’s office for hours to protect them is not easy, she saved lives that day

58:17 I thought #5 Matthew Morrison was a girl in his child pic

58:40 They went to Parkland?!

59:35 OMG they’re performing!?!

1:00:10 Seasons of Love is the Perfect song for this, they sound so good too!

1:01:18 Girl has an amazing voice! Dang to get up there in front of all of these famous performers on live TV after the media has already hounded them and putting yourself out there is courageous

1:02:45 I can’t see the handles

1:03:11 Will they be able to top NPH’s Tony magic trick though??? Probably not but let’s see

1:03:31 So cheesy but tbh if I had a Harry Potter wand I’d be even cheesier

1:03:46 Was that line improved or was the tech delay intentional?

1:04:22 C’mon Squidward already pulled the same “trick” you have ensemble block the audience pov while someone enters from the back. Didn’t even come close to topping NPH

1:04:43 Little Patti Lupone I can’t believe she allowed them to include her picture of lil’ Patti

1:05:04 I just wanted to include Patti’s line about a “deep appreciation for outspoken women” cause I actually said “you go girl” out loud

1:05:35 Yeah, fun fact, Tony wasn’t a man but was actually short for Antoinette. They referenced it multiple times before, including earlier tonight, but it was stated most explicitly here

1:06:35 Is that a young or modern Claire Danes, I can’t tell

1:07:39 Also it’s really cool that an older woman won something, I feel like the stage gives more roles for older woman that other acting industries, also if people argue that she was political she served political office. Also how cool is it that apparently people were there from every recognized country?

1:09:27 so that’s how they do Sven, I knew Olaf was supposed to be an Avenue Q style puppet but the way they move Sven is really cool (it’s the technique they used on things like War Horse, I don’t know if it’s considered costuming or puppetry or what the official name is)

1:10:20 Anna looks exactly as I pictured her, and they changed a few minor lyrics for it to fit the stage

1:10:44 There are so many quick changes tonight

1:11:22 Elsa did not look like what I imagined her to be, but the costumes are on point

1:12:00 The chorus versions of these songs have beautiful harmony, but Olaf shouldn’t be there yet right? Isn’t he “born” in Let it Go

1:12:47 Alright I’ve been waiting to see how they’ll do the snow effects!

1:14:00 They got out of building the castle by already having it built at the beginning of the song, which is smart technically but I wanted to see how they do it, unless it’s one of those things that’s a surprise for when you see it live.

1:14:25 Never call it “Daddy’s Day” ever again. Never.

1:14:46 I can’t see the handles

1:14:59 How could you not show Chita Rivera’s lifetime achievement? I’ve been lucky enough to see her in more than one show and she is incredible.

1:15:13 And you also cut out Andrew Lloyd Webber’s?? You made the wrong cuts Broadway

1:15:25 It looks like they’re going to show a tribute I’m excited!!!

1:17:42 Two things: Andrew Lloyd Webber has written a weird collection of musicals, like when you see clips of them back to back you realize just how weird of a collection it is, and Josh Groban needs to be the next Phantom

1:18:08 That exchange was so physically awkward they haven’t even started talking yet and I feel the cringe

1:19:18 Is “I swore I’d never do something like that” shade against the La La Land debacle? In 2018? Or am I reading too much into it

1:19:21 I saw the Band’s Visit but I also saw Once on this Island and I thought that one would win Direction for sure but I guess I was wrong

1:22:36 I read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, it’s a weird read, but I haven’t seen it live so maybe it’s directed brilliantly, who knows? Who else thinks its a weird read?

1:23:56 He’s getting the Tony audience to sing his boyfriend "Happy Birthday" instead of giving a speech and that is both adorably sweet and such a power move. Also a rare occasion of Happy Birthday being sung on key

1:25:10 They’re having DEH perform? You cut out people who actually were awarded tonight for people who already were featured on the Tony’s last year? And that song is a weird choice for a In Memoriam considering that show doesn’t really…respect the deceased. Weird

1:28:17 Give the tech more time in the limelight! You cut out Chita and Webber’s speeches for a weird tribute and you have weird stunts with tech like the magic thing yet cut out all their stage time. I know this is standard Tony procedure but it is something I will comment on every year until it changes

1:29:20 That move for “work hard for the money mom” line was uncomfortable

1:30:30 They really do sound like the original singer

1:31:53 So that’s how the performers follow the conductor. They have a huge teleprompter-like screen in the back of the audience

1:32:52 This cast seems specifically tailored to gather different subsections of internet geeks and I will not tell you which categories I fall into

1:33:18 I never knew “the Jimmy’s” were a thing when I was in high school

1:34:54 THOSE are the great themes of Harry Potter? Really?

1:36:10 Aww look at little Cinderella

1:36:34 How are they going to build that stage for the Tonys? They built a river inside the theater for it before!

1:37:00 Well it makes sense that they’d only include part of the set, you can’t really recreate an entire building. Yes I’m so glad they included Mama Will Provide. That song is like the definition of a Tony performance song. Why did they include the Daniel bit, that was so awkward and broke up the flow

1:40:40 If anyone would be chill with the goat it’s Nathan Lane. Yup, there a live goat at the Tony Awards

1:41:21 Don’t joke about that

1:41:41 Are you going to cut out every technical award

1:42:32 Too relatable

1:43:16 Is this that song from Chorus Line in real life

1:44:10 English Major life

1:46:03 The angel from Angels in America is so Extra TM

1:46:54 That Tony Kushner line was forced

1:47:18 Awkward segway but REMEMBER TO VOTE

1:47:38 That Judy Garland line ties in perfectly with the Happy Birthday to the gay couple

1:48:04 That reaction to the word “money” is me. And also is a gif right?

Am I so much of a Tony nerd that I both knew and was shocked that the accountants weren’t the normal ones from Ernst and Young but instead were from Grant Thorton. Why do I remember what company normally tallies the Tony votes? Why did they change companies? Why do I care so much? But seriously what happened

1:49:00 That phrase just sounded so odd, just the way it was said “my television Daddy-O Tony Shalhoub”

1:53:15 I don’t have the accent and I’m about as white as white can be, but I really want to perform this song somewhere at some point. I have family in this area even though I don’t look like I would but and I just connect to it. The melody is gorgeous and the chorus reminds me of the lullabies of when I was very little.

1:54:15 Every time the young photos come up it puts a small smile on my face

1:54:37 Good on them for putting their money where their mouth is. They actually helped fund arts programs in places where they were cut

1:55:05 I wonder what the rest of the scenic guy’s speech for Spongebob was because this tiny clip seemed so passionate (and just has such an interesting aesthetic). Gosh darn it Tonys stop pretending the only backstage people that count are the directors and producers, you have all these other people who put in so much hard work yet you consistently ignore them. Even orchestrations, choreography and score?? Orchestrations, choreography and score are crucial for musicals to exist as unique entities from plays. You make jokes about people sitting through 5 hour plays but I would gladly sit through a five hour award show if you just included the technical awards.

1:57:10 me trying to open anything ever

1:57:14 Yes! I was so worried they would go with the super old school ones that get constant revivals. I mean, they picked the show that had “1000 pounds of sand, a 100 gallons of water, a goat and 2 chickens into his theater” when you have safer, more conventional bets. Everyone kept sleeping on Once on this Island this Tony season to talk about their feelings about the Spongebob’s and Mean Girl’s of the world but this is such a good show. Maybe this’ll get this show the love it deserves.

1:59:30 what did Robert DeNiro say on the recording the sound cut out. Did the mic cut out did he say something inappropriate, I’ve been avoiding Tony news what happened?

1:59:55 It’s got more than just a big cast, dancing, and a history lesson. You know that applies to, idk like 60% of famous Broadway musicals lol

2:00:06 when someone gives that pregnant of a pause you gotta wonder what the story is there

2:00:27 Truth

2:00:40 “Jersey Boy” that’s such a good one liner, actually, it might sound sarcastic online but that was a funny one liner in context

2:03:00 Is Bruce Springsteen really going to just do spoken word poetry the whole time? Also I don’t know why but this makes me think of Fun Home

2:06:05 Oh he’s going to sing after all. Though that story is about as Americana Fourth of July as anything I’ve ever heard on the Tony Awards ever and that’s saying something

2:07:39: who are these people?

2:08:00 Didn’t Kristin Chenowitz and Alan Cumming do this exact same shtick when they hosted, what 2 years ago? And there’s was much bigger I mean really go big like that Glinda the Good dress or go home.

2:08:23 Was there really no punch line? Also aww baby Kelli O’Hara is precious

2:09:07 The actor’s name sounds like his character’s name and I enjoy that

2:09:39 Well these actors are very different from each other

2:11:28 I am a sucker for genuine sincerity and that combined with some of the earlier moments like the Parkland moment brought me close to tears

2:12:45 Look at this award shows actual diversity, and not just using one show for diversity and nominating a bunch of actors you have 3 out of 6 female leads be people of color and none of them are a “token” and they all support each other. Hailey Kilgore is so young and such a good actress and I wanted her to win so much but she seemed so excited for the person who did win and they all seem happy at the result you don’t have any of that polite loser face they are all genuinely supportive and this makes me happy. I’m happy, look at those smiles I’m smiling, I love it when they show women supporting each other.

12:14:06 “my stupid little heart with so much joy” is me watching these people tonight.

12:14:27 Still can’t identify these people

12:15:00 Josh Groban’s reaction to Bernadette Peter’s name is me. Honestly Josh Groban is killing the potential gif game tonight

I’m sorry I just can’t take this description of them as “empowering stories” seriously when half of your nominations are Spongebob and Mean Girls

2:16:10 Tonight the Band’s Visit really swept. Honestly some seasons shows don’t win any awards that deserved it and other seasons shows that (while still deserving) probably wouldn’t have won win and it’s all kind of arbitrary, but I’m glad out of this batch it won, it was really the only show out of the four that would have gotten the Tony Award ticket sales boost and it got it.

2:17:35 “Music gives people hope and makes borders disappear”

2:19:08 yes another Josh Groan duet!

2:19:25 I love Miss Peters too

2:20:44 This number made me smile, this whole night made me smile. I was worried I would get frustrated by the night with Spongebob and Frozen and Mean Girls and all the potential for it to be a cynical snark fest or a capitalist money grabber spectacular. There are about 10 billion ways I saw myself not liking this year’s Tony Awards before it started and not only am I relieved that I was wrong about the mood of the night but I am elated. I love me some deadpan humor and some snark but you rarely see one of these nights just wholly be genuine and not tongue and cheek and it was such a breath of fresh air. Even the hokey bits like the stupid magic jokes and banter or weaker songs like that Mean Girls number, because everything was in such a kindhearted atmosphere, didn’t feel as bad as they otherwise would have.