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catty-words · 4 years ago

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on the school dance fallout or, a thorough examination of the boys’ apologies to julie

full disclosure, i used to take serious issue with 1.06 for what it did to julie’s righteous anger in light of the boys letting her down, and my gripes haven’t fully gone away. but i have spent some time thinking on the fallout since my first (several) viewing(s) of the show and i finally noticed some emotionally nuanced storytelling that i needed time to come to appreciate. so, if you’ll indulge me another gif-filled meta post...

everyone knows that a good apology demonstrates an understanding of how you wronged the person you’re apologizing to, otherwise the words i’m sorry end up being fairly empty. and luckily for the boys, julie does a good job of immediately and effectively communicating her hurt feelings:

the first part is directed at luke specifically as her main co-writer, while the rest is about how all three of them let her down. it couldn’t be more clear that the reason she’s so betrayed is that a) they’ve made her feel like julie and the phantoms is less important to them than sunset curve and b) they’ve failed to consider her point of view or empathize with how important the show was to her.

which is why singing sorry a bunch of times, though charming, leaves her unmoved. and it’s why booking another gig actually makes her angrier. a gig the boys have deemed important enough to show up for is not a present or an olive branch to her, it’s a slap in the face. and if the boys had actually been paying attention to what she’d said the night of the dance, they could have anticipated her reaction.

but they clearly haven’t listened, so they haven’t learned how to do better or make things right. which is why this is such an important beat in the scene in the studio:

hounding julie to rejoin the band, even with such nice sentiments as “you’re the best thing that’s happened to us since we became ghosts”, does nothing to address how undervalued julie feels getting stood up because, as she points out above, their ability to do what they love is very limited without her. that makes her a powerful and essential member of the band, but it doesn’t prove that they care about her, julie, the person. and you can see in the reaction shot how the truth of her words lands for all of them.

their remorseful silence gives julie the opportunity to reiterate one of the points she made the night before, and it’s important to note which part of her hurt feelings she chooses to revisit.

the fact that they made the choice to pay more attention to their old music in spite of the music they were creating together is the thing that hurt her feelings the most. and, of course, her open hostility and her imagined reasons for why the boys picked sunset curve over julie and the phantoms (i.e. selfishness) puts luke on the defensive and ends with everyone leaving the scene dissatisfied.

great! okay, so here’s the part that’s bugged in the past (and the present, just. a little less so.) — in their attempt to deescalate the situation, alex and reggie give julie, and the audience, the all-important luke backstory. but like asking julie to rejoin the band with a shinier gig than a school dance flies in the face of actually making amends, so, too, does asking julie to empathize with luke’s emotional journey when the boys failed to take julie’s into account when they hurt her. only this time, it works as an olive branch.

now, i’m not saying that julie’s acting out of character in being sympathetic to luke’s pain, quite the opposite is the case. and i’m also not saying it’s bad that she does find sympathy for his situation — again, i’d argue that the opposite is true. it’s just, at the same time, it’s not a good look to force aside the young woman of color’s hurt in service of the white dude who hurt her feelings in the first place’s tragic backstory. the narrative is asking julie not to be mad at the choices luke made in the past two episodes because he’s really sad, actually.

and sure that’s an ungracious read of the moment, but i stand by the fact that it’s present in the text of the episode all the same, even with a little more nuance than i’m currently giving it credit for.

all that being said, alex and reggie do a bit to win back this highly insensitive maneuver with another stab at an apology.

alex addresses julie’s comment about them knowing “how tough it’s been for her to play” by reiterating that not showing up let her down and they get that that’s a crappy way to feel, while reggie takes a crack at julie’s “our songs were good” by emphasizing that they all love being in a band and making music with her. it’s a slight step up from their sorry in the garage, but not a complete fix because they’re all still sitting with the fact that they need julie to make the most of their music and how that complicates their declarations of loyalty.

the thing that makes this attempt at reconciliation different than those prior, of course, is this line:

the acknowledgement that things haven’t been fixed + the politeness + the implication that they’re willing to put in the time to earn her trust back so long as she lets them makes the apology a good enough one to accept. well, that, and:

one gets the sense that if rose could actually speak to julie in that moment, she’d be reminding her the value of grace. and, of course, we know that this also serves as a reminder to julie that good things are fleeting, loss is around every corner, and holding close what you care about is important. so she does just that by letting go of her (righteous, righteous) anger and reuniting the band.

still, even though alex and reggie have had their chance to make amends, luke doesn’t get the same moment to show he’s actually paid attention to julie’s needs in 1.06. so, naturally, he starts immediately in their first scene together in 1.07.

i mentioned in my exhaustive list for “finally free” that julie picking a sunset curve song for their reunion number is a lovely, understated way for her acknowledge luke’s lost musical legacy, and i have similar feelings about the fact that luke suggests “edge of great” for their follow-up gig. it’s his first step in proving to her that he does care about the music they’ve written together with actions instead of empty apologies and misguided gestures.

by the end of the episode, though, the three of them take a step back (reggie gets points for his being, like, half a step) when they learn that, in addition to letting down julie, one of the consequences of their night chasing revenge is a ticking clock on their existence.

though i understand the urge to protect julie from the alarming news that their power is going out, there’s also a lot of selfishness behind the decision. julie loses them in the end no matter what, but lying to her about it and planning to leave without an explanation shows a disregard for her emotional journey in a similar way standing her up did. in fact, this plan is basically to stand her up for eternity. not cool, guys.

naturally, since it’s luke who’s the one proposing the terrible plan and it’s luke who never officially demonstrated his understanding of how he hurt julie’s feelings by not showing up when it mattered, it’s fitting that he’s suddenly more in tune with his own feelings. and, with that, comes a new awareness of how his and julie’s feelings interact, starting with this moment in 1.08.

you can see his conflict over her declaration. she’s worried without knowing just how much there is to be worried about, and that makes him sad because it’s confirmation of the fact that he’s important to her. that losing him will mean a lot of pain for her. but instead of cluing her in, he makes a conscious choice to continue withholding the information of his imminent departure. and maybe it’s such a weak deflection because he’s already starting to come to terms with how unfair he’s being to her, but even so, he’s not being a good friend when julie is showing up for him in big, unexpected ways he’d never even thought to ask for.

and again, here —

— just after they’ve acknowledged that there’s a something and not a nothing between them, you can see him sober with the thought that she doesn’t know they’re about to lose each other. but it’s still not enough to move him to share. maybe because he prefers that she live with the possibility of that something when he no longer can, maybe because he’s too caught up in his own feelings about how crappy this hand they’ve been dealt by the universe is. but in any case, he keeps tight-lipped.

UNTIL.

it’s seeing her excited about a future their music can’t have that finally pushes him into coming clean. and i love how subtly this demonstrates that he has been paying attention, actually, and he knows that what hurt julie the most was the feeling that their music took a backseat to his past. if he crosses over without telling her the whole, ugly truth about the mistake he made by standing her up, then he crosses over stuck in that mistake. because part of that whole, ugly truth is the beautiful realization that no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you. and he’s not quite at that particular aspect of his truth yet — he still has to experience the what if of caleb’s club to be able to make the declaration with the conviction he does — but when he finally does tell her that and means it, she’s given the catharsis she’s needed since the dance. because he’s backing up his apology with action (i.e. being willing to literally no longer exist instead of making music with someone else) and providing her with the same consideration she showed him when she rejoined the band because his loss felt more important than her anger. and reaching that level of give and take in their relationship, physically represented in their hug, finally sets them free.

so, yes. even though 1.06 is clunky and a little tasteless at times, i can acknowledge that the story manages to win any missteps back. quite poetically, honestly. all’s forgiven.

#julie and the phantoms #jatpedit #jatp meta #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #gifs by catty #long post #am i disappointed with myself for not being able to include any gifs from 1.09 because i reached the limit already #yes. absolutely.#should i have split this post into two parts to fit it all?#maybe so #will i do anything about it?#obviously not #FATED BANDMATES #melody & words #together my cats can queue anything

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hardygalwrites · 2 years ago

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delicate

This utterly gorgeous art piece was commissioned from @cerumoce - I cannot understate just how much I adore this art, the artist did such an outstanding job depicting Gossamer’s absolute state (physically and emotionally) by the end of this writing piece \(@O@ )/

A session or two after my DnD character’s entire adoptive family was slaughtered, I realised that I was not sure if Gossamer would want to continue on with the rest of the party in his current mental state. I brought this up to my DM, and while we originally tried scheduling a quick solo session to see whether or not Gossamer would stick around, neither of us ended up having the time for it.

So my DM instead gave me absolute power to do basically whatever I wanted by allowing me to write a short story focusing on what Gossamer would be doing in the night between the last and upcoming session at the time. I still can’t believe my DM gave me that power, but you can believe I used it to put my son through (more) hell while also giving him some modicum of hope.

Anyway, this is that story. Enjoy :3

WARNING: lots of depressive thoughts, spurts of overwhelming grief, getting stabbed and mugged, the writer never using the POV character’s name until the end for artistic reasons

—

He woke up gasping, eyes wide, throat tight, heart pounding, mind reeling. Afterimages of slashing claws, cramped wooden walls, and smoldering bodies overlaid a void of dark fog. Echoes of terrified screams, hopeless whimpers, and roaring fire underscored bone-rattling promises of coming tyranny. Until, with every frantic breath, with every conscious clenching of his hands, it all faded away. There was only a wooden ceiling of an inn to be seen. There was only the muted night ambience of a big city to be heard.

So… He really was in the peripheral of some ancient void god…

He sighed and sat upright, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. He briefly wondered why he was still wearing his boots, but a pounding in his head quickly pulled his attention away from that question and reminded him that he had downed two pints earlier. One of the others must have carried him to bed after he blacked out.

Such a realisation would have usually left him embarrassed, or at least appreciative. As it was, he found he did not have it in him to care.

He stood up, groaning slightly as the consequences of attempting to suffocate his grief with alcohol once again made themselves known, and looked around the room. His bag had been dumped at the foot of the bed, along with his other weapons.

“Oh, gods–! What the hell have Mom and Dad been adding to this thing?”

“Your bag wasn’t at all heavy to me!”

“That’s great, Ourobor, good for you.”

His throat felt tight again. He turned away, clenching fingers gripping at his bandanna. In three swift boot strides, he approached the window and threw it open. The cool of the late night air greeted him alongside the singing of late night drunks echoing from down the torch lit street. It was only the street that greeted him, from two storeys down below.

“Hey, Mom! Mom, look!”

“Gods’ sakes, child, you aren’t a sparrow. Get down from there before you hurt yourself again.”

His fingers tightened around the windowsill, and he jumped.

The drunken singing gave way to drunken exclamations of surprise as he landed nimbly onto the street below, tucking, rolling, and popping back upright.

“Ey…! Where the hell’d you come from…?”

“Cor, I think I may’ve actually drunk too much t’night…! We got bloody people rainin’ from the sky!”

“Oi, lad, care to join us for a drink?”

He walked away without even sparing the group of tavern crawlers a glance. The drunken calls and exclamations quickly gave way back to drunken singing, and the drunken singing soon faded away into the night as he wandered off through the streets of Himrah.

While there was a lot less activity than there had been in the earlier hours of the night, it seemed that the capital city was still far from asleep, even at this time. Whispered exchanges took place in the shadows. The occasional drunk or group of drunks stumbled out from the occasional still lit tavern. Scattered patrols of night watchmen made their rounds through the sleepy streets, intermittently calling out someone hidden in the shadows, or someone making their inebriated way back home.

He could feel himself disappearing into the muted monotony, becoming a part of the whispers and stumbles and patrols. Down open streets, through closed off alleyways, he drifted aimlessly, one foot trudging after the other. His boots scarcely made a sound.

If he disappeared entirely, would anyone bother to look for him…?

“Oh my gods, Rovu…! Don’t just wander off like that!”

“I was just in the library.”

“Well tell me instead of just leaving next time! Gods… You scared me. I don’t even wanna think about what Mom and Dad’d do if I lost you.”

He grit his teeth. Nails bit through the wraps and into his palms as he clenched his hands at his sides. The urge to needlessly punch the alley wall was almost as strong as the urge to just collapse in the back alley muck.

“Wanna say that again, grandma?”

The sneering voice caught his ears, pulling him up from the eroding caverns of his mind. Whoever that voice belonged to, they did not sound especially well intentioned.

“Ahh, you talk some real tough shit for a geriatric piece of trash.”

He quickened his pace. He made not a single sound as he navigated the alleyways, relying only on the source of the voice to guide him through the twists and turns. A few paces, one right turn, and a left turn later, he heard the voice a third time, coming loud and clear from around the next corner.

“You know, I was thinking about ignoring your smelly little ass, but now I think I’ve changed my mind.”

He peeked around the corner and saw a group of two. The taller of the two didn’t appear to be a local - a half-elf, dressed in full travel gear. The ring of very familiar tools hanging from the half-elf’s belt told him that he probably wasn’t just any regular traveler either. The shorter of the two was sitting against the alley wall - an old and frail looking halfling, dressed in a slightly too large hooded cloak.

The former stood over the latter, looking none too friendly. The half-elf had a rather prickly vibe to him, like a predator waiting for any excuse to lash out. And lash out he did, grabbing the hooded halfling by the front of the cloak and yanking him up off the ground with one hand.

“So whaddaya say?” The half-elf drew a shortsword. “I wanna see some compensation, grandma.”

Oh, shit.

He stepped out from behind the corner, which caught the attention of absolutely no one, until he called out, “Woah, what did I just walk in on…?!”

A pair of sharp eyes locked onto him. The half-elf was taller than him, he suddenly realised. Not especially unusual considering the race, but immediately disconcerting nonetheless, considering the circumstances.

“This is none of your concern,” the half-elf drawled. “Turn around and walk away.”

He grimaced. “You’re holding a sword to someone’s throat, it looks pretty concerning to me.”

“It’s gonna get a lot more concerning if you don’t mind your own damned business.”

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on–”

“Then we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“But I’m sure if we just talk this out like civilised adults–”

“I said,” the half-elf snapped, “it’s none of your business. Walk. Away.”

A bead of sweat rolled down his temple.

“Ooh, scary,” he scoffed. “Nothing says ‘legitimate threat’ like mugging an old lady. Definitely not pathetic at all.”

The half-elf dropped the halfling. It was all he could do not to gulp as the half-elf turned and began to step towards him, shortsword spinning casually in hand.

“Wanna say that again, pretty boy?”

He began to step back. “I just said you definitely weren’t pathetic. Pretty neutral statement. If you ask me.”

“Oh, you’re funny.”

Steel flashed. He only barely managed to dodge the half-elf’s sword swing. He ducked to the side, drawing one of his daggers, just in time to block and parry the next swing, only for the sword to sweep back around and knock his legs out from under him. Before he could even catch his breath, the half-elf was on top of him, boot pinning down his dagger arm, knee digging into his chest, sword pressed up against his throat.

“Gods,” the half-elf jeered. “Now that was pathetic.”

The sword left his throat and stabbed into his shoulder.

“...innocent blood…”

His screams were muffled by a hand over his mouth. The half-elf leaned in, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his face.

“Word of advice,” the half-elf intoned. “Don’t go talking shit you can’t back up.”

The words were barely audible over the pounding in his ears and his own frantic breaths. He tried to push the half-elf off of him with his free arm, but every movement sent renewed jolts of agony through his shoulder. He might as well have been a kitten pawing at a tiger for all the effect his efforts had.

“I’ll make you regret ever sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. But first…”

The half-elf began to search his belt pouch, leaving the sword gored into his shoulder. An increasingly familiar feeling of apathy began to creep its way back into his body. His struggles slowed and his gaze began to lose focus.

Until the half-elf turned his head and grabbed onto two of the rings hanging from his left ear.

“I think I’ll take these as well.”

The half-elf ripped the two rings out from his cartilage.

He couldn’t tell if he was screaming again, but that was irrelevant. The pain in his shoulder was practically a pinprick as he reached for the opposite sheath with his free hand, whipped out his second dagger, and slashed at the half-elf’s face.

“Gah–! You little shit!”

He wrenched his other arm out from under the half-elf’s boot and stabbed his first dagger into the half-elf’s thigh. As the half-elf fell back, spitting and cursing, he pulled the sword out from his shoulder and hurled it aside. He was already on his feet before the half-elf suddenly threw a knife at him. He dodged it, and the half-elf darted for the discarded sword, snatching it up and standing to point it in his direction.

They both stared at each other, panting, glaring, weapons bared. Blood seeped from a gash cut diagonally across the half-elf’s face, forcing one of the eyes shut. He could feel his own blood running down the side of his neck, dripping from his throbbing ear.

“Screw what I said before,” the half-elf hissed. “I’m gonna make you regret the day you were born.”

He darted forward, steel and eyes flashing. “Get in line.”

Metal clashed against metal, metal swiped at air, metal slashed across flesh. Cuts and injuries added onto cuts and injuries. His shoulder stung with every dagger swing, yet for every time the half-elf took advantage of his weak arm, he took advantage of the half-elf’s weak leg twofold. His speed and maneuverability remained unmatched.

Until finally, the half-elf collapsed to one knee, clutching at one of the numerous wounds. When the half-elf looked up, he had a dagger leveled at the half-elf’s throat.

“These are easier to lift than the sword.”

“That’s good. We’ll train with these then. But remember, boy, this training, these weapons, they must be utilised with the utmost responsibility. Do you understand?”

“Mm-hm. I understand, Dad.”

The leather grip of the daggers creaked under his tightening grasp.

“Satisfied?” he snarled, voice cracking behind clenched teeth. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You better kill me now, pretty boy,” the half-elf growled, glaring through one open eye. “‘Cause if you don’t–”

“What? What are you gonna do? Torture me? Beat up some more old ladies? Steal more scraps from people who have nothing left to steal?! You can do all the depraved shit you want, it won’t make you any less pathetic–”

The half-elf lashed out wildly with the shortsword. Despite the frenzied nature of the attack, he only barely managed to dodge it, stumbling back with a startled gasp. By the time he recovered, the half-elf was gone, bolting away around the alley corner with surprising speed.

He stood there for a moment, heart pounding, nerves frayed. After a moment, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He slowly reached for the torn edges of his left ear.

“Oooh, pretty!”

“They’re not supposed to look pretty, they’re supposed to look badass. Ow! Rumi!”

“Ha ha! Not very badass when you get hurt by a little pull on the ear.”

His knees buckled beneath him. His daggers clattered onto the cobblestones. Some twisted amalgam of a sob and a scream clawed at his throat. His fingernails dug into the flesh around his ear, his other hand tore at his bandanna, and he felt like he was being swallowed by the unfairness of it all.

“Dammit…” he rasped, pressing his forehead against the cobblestones as he fought back tears. “Dammit…!”

As seemed to be the subtitle for his entire life as of late, his efforts amounted to nothing.

“All right, that’s enough o’ that, lad.”

Something smacked against his head, snapping his attention upwards. A familiar old halfling woman stood over his curled form, frowning down at him.

“There are times ‘n places for cryin’,” the halfling said, “and the back alleys o’ Himrah definitely ain’t one o’ them.”

He sat back upright, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Sorry, sorry, I just… Um, are you all right?”

The halfling narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m wonderin’ if I should be askin’ you the same thing, lad. Got eyes like a prisoner out o’ the void, you do.”

“What could have possibly happened for him to end up like that? I mean, his eyes, Daryus–”

“I know, Kalla… I saw it too. No child should have eyes like those.”

“What should we do?”

He laughed, a short, high-pitched, hysterical sound. “Gods… It’s been a long, long time since I heard someone talk about my eyes like that. It looks that bad, huh…?”

“Always does,” the halfling said with a shrug. “I’ve seen many with eyes like yours over the past century and a half, some even younger than you. Sad, sad creatures indeed.”

He opted not to respond to that, instead picking his daggers up off the ground and slipping them back into their sheaths.

“Are you all right, though?” he asked. “I saw that guy trying to mug you, and, y’know…”

The halfling waved her hand airily. “I dealt far more damage to his ego than he did to my person. And you saved me from bein’ forced to give up my favourite pipe, so overall, I came out o’ this ordeal quite unscathed.”

Reaching into her oversized cloak, the halfling pulled out a pipe and small pouch, before doddering over and sitting down beside him.

“So, you’re an adventurer,” the halfling stated, opening the pouch and revealing a wad of smoking tobacco.

“What makes you say that?”

“You make foolish enough decisions to qualify as one. You won’t hear me complainin’, though.”

As she spoke, the halfling finished tamping tobacco into her pipe and lit it with a match that appeared to be struck alight within the same motion she whipped it out from her cloak. Once the tobacco was smoldering, the halfling took a short puff and breathed out a contented, smoky sigh.

He turned his gaze down towards the cobblestones. “I don’t know… Maybe at one point, but… I don’t know if I want to keep going.”

“Hmph. Has the life of an adventurer taken its toll on you already, lad?”

“Something like that. A lot’s happened lately. Like… a lot. A real lot. Just… a lot…”

He ran a hand over one of his tattoos.

“You got scales!”

“Ha ha! Yeah, kinda. What d’you think of them, Umbra? Ah, careful, they kinda hurt right now.”

“Now you match me and Papa!”

His eyes began to sting again. He curled in on himself. But as it was…

“It’s like I can’t bring myself to care anymore,” he muttered.

“Bah,” the halfling scoffed. “For someone who doesn’t care anymore, you sure did throw yourself into someone else’s business with no hesitation.”

“Well, I– I mean– You were in trouble, right? And I couldn’t just do nothing…!”

The halfling raised her pipe to him. “As I said, you won’t hear me complainin’.”

Silence settled over them like a down blanket, leaving only the muted night ambience of the city to fill in the hush. The pleasant smell of pipe smoke wafted through the cool night air, the smoke itself wisping and curling into abstract shapes. He watched it with an unfocused gaze.

“I know I would have wanted help,” he murmured. “If someone were mugging me, I mean.”

“Ah.” The halfling nodded. “Truly a foolish one, then. This world is far too selfish to sustain that kind o’ thinkin’, lad.”

“…If that were true… I don’t think I’d be here.”

“Well, my pipe thanks whoever it was who cultivated your foolishness.”

“It’s all right. We’re here to help you, boy.”

“…”

“No one is going to hurt you, little one. I promise.”

He lay back on the cobblestones. His injuries stung and throbbed in protest at his movement. The buildings towering on either side of him obscured much of the night sky above.

He let out a long, shaky sigh. “I feel… very tired…”

“You’re far too young to be feelin’ like that.”

“Sorry...”

“It’s not a sin, lad. Just a pity.”

The muted night ambiance returned to fill the stillness. Time passed. The pipe smoke continued to wisp and curl through the air, dissipating into the sky above. Even through the buildings, the moon and stars still managed to peek their way into the little alleyway.

Gossamer let out another sigh and sat back upright. He grimaced as his injuries once again made their displeasure known, but quickly shook it off.

“Well,” he said, slowly clambering to his feet, “there are times and places for me to rest, but right here isn’t one of them.”

The halfling looked up at Gossamer, still puffing at the end of her pipe, still exhaling smoke with every other breath. Though her face was largely obscured by her hood and the pipe smoke, Gossamer thought he saw her flash a sad smile.

“‘n I pray you find that time ‘n place, lad.”

Gossamer nodded. “You have a good night, ma’am.”

“I will certainly endeavour to.”

—

a/n: gossamer would then wander around the city trying to find his way back to the inn and end up falling asleep in the alley behind the inn as soon as he found it

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helena-thessaloniki · 3 years ago

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Hi Helena! Big fan of your writing here🥺♥️ Your rivamika fics are my safe space 😭 (if you have time to answer) i’d love to know when you first started shipping them, why, and what made you continue to love this ship (or anything else to do with your journey as an RM shipper)? i love your characterisation of both levi and mikasa individually, but even more so, your portrayal of their dynamic as a couple, which is why i wanted to ask so badly ☺️ x

Hey anon! Oh woah, first of all, thank you so much. Second of all, oh god, you probably shouldn't have handed me the mic. heh 😅

I’m afraid to look at the word count of this response, I’m sure it’s much more than you bargained for, but I appreciate the question and enjoyed thinking through my response (: Most importantly, I’m so glad you find my stories as a safe space. It’s really an honor. Thank you for sharing with me 🖤🖤

TL; DR As a longtime reader, writer and lover of stories and story-telling, by being someone who pays attention to how stories are crafted and deliberately developed from beginning to end, I sincerely thought Isayama was setting up rivamika as an endgame relationship. So, I read into and interpreted meaning out of ALL their interactions and became deeply invested.

I don’t necessarily ship them cause of the parallels, age gap, enemies to lover trope, height difference, or some of those common reasons and/or kinks. I’m more basic and boring than that. I love the concept of them coming together as though it’s inevitable.

They both are unbelievably strong, selfless, and have suffered so much loss— so, no one else could truly understand them as well as they can understand each other. They both probably would have always settled for a stable, simple life, and been alone and lonely even without realizing it— instead, they find each other, and realize what it means to actually no longer be alone, to do more than just survive. It’s this understated bond, as opposed to a dramatic and passionate romance, that I envision in them and that I love so much.

Then, the passion, heat, the romantic "spark"— I think that’s an added bonus, the cherry on top, the perfect final puzzle piece. They’re both so physically capable, can speak through their actions, and don’t show much need or capacity for emotional/ verbal communication, so the ability to connect with each other through physical intimacy and mind-blowing sex seems like another given.

Still, at the end of the day, for me it comes back to their ability to fully depend on each other, to the inevitability. Not like some soulmate trope where they 'have no choice' in it, but like the stars aligned to prove it's right. How each of them have only one other person on the whole planet who could see and understand them, to be on par with them, to make them realize there’s more to life than settling and surviving, and they happen to find it in each other.

You asked, I rambled 😅 Here’s a breakdown of my thought process in my rivamika journey. For those who make it to the end or want to skip to the end, I'll finish with the excerpt of the very first rivamika scene I felt compelled to to write.

I've tried before to re-watch and remember the exact scenes, exact moments, that initially captured my full attention, but I guess it was all of them, the gradual and cumulative compilation of their earliest interactions.

Mikasa always appearing cool and indifferent, and paying no attention whatsoever to others fawning over, like Jean initially falling for her, but then her strongly reacting over Levi in the courtroom showed how uniquely capable he was at getting under her skin.

Of course, the scene in the forest chasing the Female Titan was a critical one. I think of that as the first time both Levi and Mikasa were truly able to see the other's strength, mental and physical. And for them, orphans and trauma survivors who have suffered extensive loss, I think that seeing strength in another person made them feel less alone. Less alone in a deep, quiet but cataclysm, life-altering sort of way, even if not a romantic one. Like they didn't know it was something they didn't have, something they didn't expect to get from life, but then found it with each other.

(Even when we found out Levi was an Ackerman, I was disappointed if it meant they were immediate relatives, but willing to accept it wouldn't be a romantic end to loneliness, it would be a familial end to loneliness. But... the author never explored that. Not once.)

In that forest scene, manga and anime, the way that Levi pauses to really look and see Mikasa and think about who she is, what she’s gone through, and how strong and dedicated she is now— that was a defining moment. It was also a visual demonstration of Levi breaking character, from aloof and ruthless, to considering and curious. I thought Yams was showing both of them do that on purpose.

Then, Levi getting hurt because of Mikasa in that scene felt like another clue. Sure, it was while saving Eren, and sure, it could have been meant to humanize super-soldier Levi, or sure, it could have been another aspect of how Mikasa rushing into things over Eren ends up hurting other people that later changes in her character development, but it felt like a very pointed statement about Mikasa being a vulnerability for Levi. And that's swoon-worthy, right? Most of us have been exposed to and conditioned by stories about how special and romantic it is to be the one and only girl who can make an otherwise disinterested or unattainable guy actually pay attention to her, and so admittedly I fall right for it.

I’m sure I’m forgetting plenty, but the opening of season 3 felt like confirmation. When Levi figures out Kenny's behind things and entrusts Mikasa with instructions to share with the others, instructions about fighting people instead of titans that ultimately everyone else besides her struggles with, and when Mikasa lets Levi hold her back from chasing after Eren, her most important way of trusting and having faith in Levi, I honestly took that as cues from the author that rivamika was endgame. I let myself get truly invested from then on. That’s that understated bond I was referring to. To me, that unspoken but undeniable trust is the most important dynamic.

Seeing them fight together or fight similarly has always been fun and powerful and fulfilling.

I'm newer to the snk club. I was originally an anime-only fan and started watching in fall 2019, I think. I wasn't on tumblr, twitter, or anything else to see fandom discourse. So, I didn't know that the rooftop scene of Mikasa fighting Levi over the serum was such a staple for our ship until much later. I love the scene just like many do for all the reasons we do, but I don't think the actual scene was pivotal for me, so much as it's aftermath. I thought it represented two things.

One, it was an important marker in Levi's characterization. Hands-down one of the most striking scenes to me is the one where Levi is in the alley, somber and alone, listening in on Eren, Armin, and Mikasa talking together. It artfully shows his longing for hope and connection. So, when Levi chose Armin for the serum, that represented Levi choosing hope. And when Mikasa ultimately gave up fighting Levi and didn't choose Armin, which Armin finds out about later on, I see that as an important marker in Mikasa's development. It puts a wedge between her and Armin/Eren [Armin, because he knows she would have let him die, and Eren, because Armin is too special to him and he couldn't look at her the same way after realizing she would have let him die]. That distance between her and her childhood friends is one I don't think could ever be healed completely, one of those painful lessons in growing up. By doing that, it then also puts a distance in Mikasa's own childhood self to her current self. I thought that matured her and separated her out in a way that was another clue toward eventual rivamika developments.

That's a whole other conversation on Mikasa, but I’ll stay on track. Her love for Armin was absolutely authentic and fierce, but at the end of the day, at the core of her being, she chose survival over hope. Meanwhile, Levi chose hope over survival. To me, that was soft, fertile ground for the reasons why eventually, if/when Mikasa found hope and chose hope, that could directly tie together with her inevitably in coming together with Levi. Again, less butterflies and fireworks, but more natural and in a way that was just a given.

I wrote Beyond the Walls before reading the manga from the Marley Arc and on, so that's why most of that story is her journey into embracing that hope. *manga spoilers* There's a lot of meta, criticism and talk about Mikasa's silent, off-screen and subtle style of character development in the Marley Arc and afterward. I won't go down that road, I'm still processing the end of the manga to be honest, but I think it's fair to say she does eventually end up choosing hope over survival when she lets go of Eren and saves humanity instead. I love the “Stay with Me” line and think it’s perfect; a simple but profound display of trust and their deep-rooted bond in a really understated way. *end manga spoilers*

Here's something I always wanted to talk about in full but haven't. It honestly reads to me like Yams was building toward rivamika, and didn’t do anything to stop that until too late. There are tools authors can use to ensure we stop shipping a pair or start shipping a new one; love triangles are commonly used in every artistic medium and we’ve all been persuaded by these tools. But Yams didn’t use these tools to make sure readers didn’t feel convinced by rivamika. For all the reasons I listed above, more I'm forgetting, and for the following:

If he wanted us to think they were family and it would be incest, he should have added in a conversation between them realizing they were (close) family and that they weren't the only ones left in their biological family like they thought. But he didn't.

If he wanted us to think it was completely inappropriate between a child-and-adult and student-and-teacher, then he could have done something to ensure Mikasa looked childish or Levi looked older, but no. They barely look ten years apart. I do think it's unacceptable and that there's a power imbalance between a child-and-adult relationship regardless of that, and that there can't be true consent when one is a superior and another a subordinate, so I personally age-up Mikasa in my head and try to handle his position of power responsibly in my writings... but the point being, by the end of canon, there's no inappropriate or non-consensual romance between them, yet there's a lot of history and chemistry that could naturally lead to an age-appropriate and consensual relationship. If Yams didn't want us to think so, he could have made it more clear that there were reasons it wouldn't happen.

The only thing that makes sense to me is the author planned on rivamika endgame but was shamed/pressured out of it (either internally or due to others) OR that the author somehow accidentally created such vibrant chemistry and an incredible dynamic between them. Like, he didn't put enough convincing substance of eremika in, didn't make Levi look old enough, didn’t have one of them do something unforgivable in the other’s eyes, etc. Those are some of those tools he could have used. Romance was never a key component in snk. And since we now know Yams planned or needed eremika endgame for sake of plot and the conclusion of the manga, I personally think he didn't know what to do with the riveting rivamika substance and chemistry being much more convincing to readers. Once he had them so well built-up, maybe the only option he felt he had was to just stop putting the characters together. We get little-to-no rivamika interaction, platonic or practical, after season 3 all the way up until the very end. But there was so much of it beforehand ?? So, it simply doesn't make sense. I think the author just straight-up cut any and all interactions out between them because it was too convincing and moving, more convincing and substantial than eremika. But, as the end of canon shows, we needed to have some eremika buy-in. It's messy writing and unskilled in the romance department, but considering for how long and how complicated snk has been in a creative process and how lackluster the eremika romance (the main and apparently pivotal romance) is developed, I think it’s plausible to say the author effed up.

As far as writing fanfiction goes, there's just so much room to explore them. In canon, we aren't given enough insight into their individual perspectives, let alone their dynamic together, so it feels like a blank canvas to work from. I think that's part of why I love to write them, and also why I don't necessarily read much of them. When I first started shipping them while watching the anime, I read a few of the classics that were canon-verse, but I haven’t really read much since. For me, exploring and discovering them as a writer is the most fun. (It's one of the reasons Naruto and Harry Potter have such large fanfiction collections. There's so much world-building and so many characters, but there's also so much left to the imagination.)

In general, I'm drawn to strong characters, especially women, who are multidimensional enough to be real, vulnerable and soft. Mikasa is the pinnacle of that. I don’t necessarily like to write about her love or infatuation with Eren, but I do respect and admire and consider it integral to her character and her amazing capacity to love. We can have strong, kickass women who falter when it comes to love but are still considered strong for it. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive and Mikasa is a beautiful example of that.

And Levi is strong, but real and vulnerable too; he’s honestly a fantastically developed character, from Petra explaining to Eren in the beginning how he’s not the amazing hero he’s painted to be to the public, to how Levi genuinely cares for Erwin and others and chooses hope despite all he’s suffered.

The end of the manga wrecked me a bit. Kind of like Games of Thrones. You have something that was so epic and well-done for so long, a rushed ending that isn't immediately sensical and isn't fulfilling is hard to stomach. Eventually, I'll move on from the denial of that and process what I think and feel about it. The whole reason we have fanfiction is to expand on canon, but it's made me put rivamika on the back burner until I figure it out. So I'm a little less hyper-fixated on the pairing right now even though interacting with you all and asks like this remind me what brought me here in the first place. 😊

To conclude, I’ll share that the very first rivamika content I wrote was a compilation of moments I thought could be inserted into season 3. These are still moments I plan to edit and publish one day. For anyone that actually read this far, I’ll put a rough and unedited excerpt of the first scene I ever wrote about them.

Thank you again anon 🖤😊

BEGIN EXCERPT [after the rooftop fight for the serum, immediately following the ceremony where Eren touched Historia by kissing her hand]:

Part of her was embarrassed at such a flagrant act of disobedience to a superior, especially to one who saved her and countless others' lives in the past. But mostly, she was anguished by the situation Captain Levi put her in once he revoked the serum meant to save Armin and planned to use it on Commander Erwin instead. Her current ostracization and self-loathing was not entirely her own fault. Anger she felt toward herself was just as easy to wield against him.

It must have shown in the grit of her teeth or defiant tone, because he turned to look at her, more aloof than curious.

Like a flint struck to steel, it ignited the fury she felt toward him.

“I shouldn’t have hesitated. I should have just killed you,” she answered him at last, piercing him with eyes darker than the night.

He wasn’t concerned. “You’re good, but not that good.”

Her hands fell to her side, fists clenched as she stood with a single, fluid movement. Before she could let loose a threat, he sighed.

“What’s the problem, Ackerman?” He was dismissive, his shoulders relaxed and posture loose.

The fire too furious to contain, she went sailing for him with the same speed from the battlefield. Her fingers already curled, she tightened her grasp as she swung her fist into his gods-damned apathetic face.

Levi wasn’t unprepared. He easily side-stepped her, then snatched her wrist to steal her momentum. Though he tried to toss her aside, she was no less fast; Mikasa dug her heel in and spun, her other arm shoving hard into his chest.

Too graceful to stumble, Levi used the chance to hook her second arm too. He caged both her wrists in a grip so strong, she was sure it bruised her bones. Still, he only looked at her warily, almost bored.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful? I chose Armin.” If his reminder was meant to ease her anger, it had the opposite effect.

Fury and desperation gifted her additional strength. She shoved into his chest hard. Levi shifted backward, nearly forced into loosening his grip; within that split second of an opening, Mikasa slammed her elbow into his chin, rocking his head backward.

“You did,” she seethed, but as fast as the fire inside her exploded, it was doused. Her next words came out broken and damp. “But I didn’t.”

Levi remained stern and otherwise unmoving as he attempted to flex his jaw through the spasm of pain. As the momentum of the fight died down, he loosened his hold on her wrists and evaluated her distraught frame.

Mikasa immediately released her own hands and turned away from him, eyes stinging from tears she refused to shed as she focused on the stars ahead. Admitting the harsh words aloud hurt her far more than any injury she could inflict onto him.

Not only was Armin one of the only friends she had, but he’d been a steadfast one throughout almost all she could remember of her life. After the trauma of her childhood, it was Eren and Armin who embraced her, whom she learned to love. Now, though, there was a wedge between her and Armin she was not sure could ever be removed. What was worse, as deplorable and selfish as she knew it proved her to be, was the painful wedge it now put between her and Eren too.

Once again, she found Levi standing at the peripheral of her sight, close enough to see but far enough to be a blur at the edge of her watery vision.

“You almost killed me.” Levi repeated his earlier words, but he said them with an odd bite, torn between frustration and patience. “You would have killed me to save him.”

Too late, Mikasa realized he hadn’t meant these words as an accusation, but an odd form of validation. She bit her bottom lip, teeth puncturing too hard; the tang of metal was sharp on her tongue when she swallowed blood.

“You thought about letting your closest friend die,” Levi said quietly, tiredly. “But I did let mine die. I left him for dead, when I could have saved him.”

Mikasa was startled from her selfish reverie, for the first time acknowledging the sacrifice he made on that fateful afternoon. She’d been too absorbed in her own relief, and then, her own regrets to consider what the decision had done to him.

For a brief moment, she considered turning to face him, but the stark reality of the matter made her refrain. How could she feel pity for his loss, when his loss enabled her gain? An uncomfortable knot tightened in her stomach.

“Tch,” Levi sighed. He was only one notch less taciturn, but for him, that was soft. “You’ll live with your guilt, and I’ll live with mine.”

His words granted Mikasa’s tears the permission to spill. She buried her face further into her scarf, both hands trembling at the worn threads. As quietly as he arrived onto the roof, Levi disappeared from it.

It was rare for him to indulge in alcohol or celebrations, but Erwin’s absence felt more tangible than his presence ever did. Levi distracted himself with the chaos of the few remaining Scouts that Erwin had died entrusting his legacy to, and attempted to drown the pain with whatever drink Connie Springer shoved into his hands.

He found Hanji with their ale long-forgotten about on the table as they half-stood from their seat, frantic while explaining some morbid experiment in great, vivid detail to an unsuspecting and slightly horrified MP officer.

Though Levi wordlessly took the seat beside them, Hanji paused their rant to slap him hard on the back, an enthusiastic greeting flying from their drunken lips. The MP took this chance to excuse himself, a pathetic attempt at politeness, but Hanji either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

“Ah, Levi,” they smiled at his drink, though it didn’t entirely reach their one eye. “Where you been?”

Levi didn’t answer. “You know, shitty-glasses, you’re even more unbearable about your experiments when you’re drunk.”

Hanji waved dismissively and reached for their ale. Years spent in battle and command together had gifted both of them with an eased familiarity, and sometimes, genuine friendship. In the same manner he ignored their question, Hanji ignored his lack of response and went on with their original inquiry.

“Careful, Captain,” Hanji warned lightly. “Now that there’s far fewer Scouts, you having a favorite might cause some division.”

Even though Hanji meant the words, there was a glint of mischief that twinkled in their remaining eye.

“It’s not favoritism,” Levi countered bluntly, turning his vision toward the young man on the far side of the room. “Eren is simply the best chance that we have in this war.”

Hanji laughed as if he’d made a joke and Levi looked back to stare at them, unable to be surprised at their quirks or oddities any longer, but still a touch curious about what spurned this current demonstration.

“I wasn’t talking about Eren,” Hanji said at last, a pointed nod toward his injured chin.

Levi blinked. He didn’t realize he was nursing his injury with the hand not on his drink. As though it were too hot to touch, Levi dropped his hand.

Hanji was not judgmental, nor inquisitive. In a war-torn life of losing too many cadets entrusted to him, the fact that Levi found a soldier with the strength and skill to remain safe was not only rare, but worth special attention. Still, it made him too lenient.

“Sometimes I think you’d let her get away with murder,” Hanji chided halfheartedly.

When he thought of Erwin dead in his grasp, sometimes he wasn’t sure if he already had.

#my asks #my thoughts #rivamika #rivamika fanfic #lena writes

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ohkate · 3 years ago

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hi! pls ignore this if you don't do asks but if it's fine, may I know what your favorite QAF fics are? I really agree a lot to your QAF related takes and I was wondering if we have the same taste in fics too. thank you!

You know, I have almost 1600 followers and I think I've only ever had like 3 asks before so thank you and I'm going to make this a novel to commemorate the occasion!

Under the cut, my friends!

...That being said, I'm like the worst person to ask this question. I used to read massive amounts of qaf fic back in 2005-2011 but I got into other fandoms since then and haven't read any in sooo long. It's only recently that I got back into QAF and I've learned that, sadly, most of my favorite stories don't exist anymore. So many people have deactivated their tumblrs/journals and a lot of the stories I had saved... the pages or sites no longer exist. Back then it wasn't even tumblr...it was livejournal we all hung out on. Ad so many are just gone and/or deactivated now.

I've recently been trolling fanfic.net for brian/justin fics but I have to say.... they are some of the worst stories I've ever read. I mean, holy shit bad. Finding a halfway decent fic on that site is like finding some hidden diamond or something. I appreciate the efforts of anyone who writes anything but sometimes I'm just like... why would you even write this???

Here are a list of some of the ones I could still access from my favorites:

SuzVoy still has a bunch of her fics available, and they're well done. If you're depressed you may want to stay away because when she goes 'real' it cuts the jugular. But I find the characters to still be very canon.

Severina is a fantastic writer and anything she writes is the best day of my life. She just writes beautiful short fics that are quick to get through and make you love the characters. I've linked her drabble fest, where she wrote 100 stories based on prompts she was sent. Most stories are less than a few paragraphs long or even a hundred words. You could read every story here in a night or 2. But she's a great writer and was my favorite during the height of QAF. You can do a google search and find even more. She's a prolific writer and wrote hundreds upon hundreds of fics.

Xie Xie Xie was a well known writer who often wrote soul-crushing and super in-character fics. I'd start by scrolling down this page and reading the drabbles, or her gap-fillers or standalone's before getting into any longer fics. Some of her drabbles are amazing.

As for a specific fic, I really couldn't choose one anymore. My favorite fics are no longer available anywhere. I haven't quite been able to find anywhere that still posts quality fics. I have a real problem with bad characterization in fics. I love a romantic story. I love hurt/comfort fics, and I don't mind if they're a little ooc but... I still need Brian and Justin to be relatively Brian and Justin. Not some mary sues whom I don't recognize anymore. So it's hard to still find that. Here are a few I've ready recently:

Understated Gift. It's a cute fic by faile02 that ends a little ooc but is still a good read.

Five Things. 5 drabbles with Brian or Justin finding out about something that happened that they didn't know about. Brian finds out about the Sap party; Justin finds out Brian kneecapped Chris Hobbs in the garage; Brian finds out it was Justin who threatened Kip off the lawsuit; Justin finds out about the hooker Brian hired. This is at times ooc but still a fun read.

Blended is the only fic I would say I've read consistently over the years, going back to it once in a while just to get a fix. It's Mpreg but - you just have to go with it. It somehow remains one of the best written stories, for me. Barring some small issues, these are the characters I want them to still be and go on to be. It's a 'day in the life' fic, just going through the motions of their lives dealing with having children together and how they navigate it being the people they are. The story takes place shortly after 513, and starts with Brian accidentally getting pregnant by Justin one of the few times he tops- and he wasn't happy about it. They end up having multiple children, mostly by Justin. It turns out they -shockingly- actually really love having a big family and they're both fiercely protective of it. I haven't really had much time to go through more fics. Trying to find them is half the battle these days.

#qaf #fanfic #brian/justin #britin #i have like 300 fanfic links saved and probably 20 of them still work #so sad!#lessons- archive your fanfic people!#so if you drop off the face of the earth we can still read it somewhere

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lonestarpost · 4 years ago

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April 26, 2021~ Masterlist ~ Issue 12

Episode Review

by @lonestarbabe

9-1-1: Lone Star’s ninth episode of season two breaks the hiatus with one of the season’s strongest episodes; in this episode, the showrunners prioritize quality storytelling (many thanks to writer Tonya Kong), and while the episode focuses heavily on past events, it creates an atmosphere that allows extensive character development moving forward. The episode shows viewers Grace and Judd’s story, and it does so in a way that highlights their bright future and how they have built a healthy, happy future together by first creating a solid foundation for themselves. “Saving Grace” stands out because of its attention to detail and the complex dynamics it beautifully fleshes out. The episode is rooted in humanity; the characters are not perfect, but through those flaws, viewers see the power of interpersonal relationships and the ability of people to save one another in a myriad of ways.

Throughout the episode, Judd is lost, but one grounding force saves him from his demons: his wife, Grace Ryder. As the episode kicks off, Judd is a young kid joyriding with his friend. As Judd sits behind the wheel, a tragic accident causes his friend to die, and Judd is left with a wealth of guilt and self-doubt. Despite Grace being in grave danger after the accident, during the entirety of the episode, it is Judd who needs saving from the complex emotions that haunt him. When Judd is in danger, Grace is there for him, even when she is a hospital bed. Judd wants to take revenge on the drunk driver who drove him and Grace off the road, but then, Grace wakes up, and Judd comments that Grace has saved the drunk driver. Before that, before Grace and Judd have met face to face, they begin correspondence when Judd calls a Christian crisis hotline that Grace works at as she finishes school. Seeing their relationship develop over the phone shows the deep connection that the couple has, and in Judd’s darkest moments, Grace was there for him, and her voice saved him from his own self-destruction.

After reciting Psalm 31, which Judd has tattooed on his hand, Grace says, “None of us are perfect. It’s by Grace that we’re saved,” and this line expertly reinforces the themes of the episode. Just before he nearly beats the drunk driver who ran him and Grace off the road, we see Judd getting the tattoo, which shows Judd’s mindset. He is thinking about Grace and how she has saved him. Judd himself was responsible, at least in part, for somebody’s death; that guilt has made it hard for him to recover mentally, but grace has gotten him through. Even so, he struggles to extend forgiveness to the man who has hurt Grace. The reminder of his own trauma is fresh, but Judd is still a flawed, emotional person who needs tempering, and with Grace unconscious, he feels untethered. He’s back to being an angry person, who still blames himself for the death of his friend.

Judd once fought to make amends with Leigh-Ann, the mother of the kid who died in the car, and these parallels show how hard it is to forgive. But the forgiveness ultimately isn’t about giving a gift to someone who has done wrong; in this story, it is shown as a way of saving yourself. Instead of getting trapped in the bitterness, forgiveness allows the characters to heal themselves. Early in the episode, Leigh-Ann is hurt on the floor of her home; this portrayal represents how her son’s death debilitated her. She holds unto her anger, but as Judd makes amends by fixing Leigh-Ann’s fence (a white picket fence that represents the ideal American home, which has become dirty and has fallen apart since Cal’s death), and he takes a devastated property and makes it a home. After watching Judd work for a while as she recovers, Leigh-Ann finally gives Judd water, and not only does Judd make amends, but Leigh-Anne has physically recovered since we last saw her. She still has a sling on her arm, but she’s on the way to healing. Likewise, when Judd goes to see the man who nearly killed Grace, he is in the process of healing himself. He’s just gotten out of bed from his own injuries. His body is still battered, but as he backs away from the man because of Grace waking up, it marks that Judd is healing too, not just physically but he’s also learning to focus on what matters rather than the anger he feels. In the end, it is love and care that brings the character happiness, and it makes them happier to focus on the things that save them rather than what hurts them. Love, from the 126 and from Grace, keep Judd from self-destructing from his guilt and rage.

The title works on a number of levels. While it seems at first glance that the episode is about “Saving Grace” from the accident that has nearly killed her, the essence of the episode is that Grace is Judd’s “Saving Grace.” Not only that, but she is thousands of people’s “Saving Grace.” In her career, she has been a voice of reason and hope. Even when she can’t save a life, as with the astronaut in the season one finale, her voice still provides comfort and a sense of salvation to people who are hurting. It’s not just Grace that saves Judd. In many ways, Judd also sparks Grace’s own decisions. As Grace falls in love with Judd, she realizes that going to graduate school far away isn’t her calling. She doesn’t stay because of Judd, but there’s no doubt that her connection with Judd helped Grace realize that saving people was her calling. She decides to become a 9-1-1 operator, and for thousands of people, she becomes a “Saving Grace” on the other end of the line.

“Saving Grace,” is one of the best episodes of the series, and arguably, it is the most artfully written. It stands out because the details add up in a way that drives the plot and character development. It excels at showing rather than just telling the viewers the vital details of the story. Grace is an angel, and one of her greatest strengths is bringing people together and comforting them in their times of need. When she saves people, she then allows them to save countless others. Through Grace, Judd is a hero in his own right, but he is the kind that gets glory, while Grace’s role is more understated but just as important. The episode mostly focuses on Judd’s history, but when you look at it closely, the role of Grace, understated but poignant, is what stands out the most.

The Edits Edit

Some of the best edits this week that deserve all the love.

Carlos Reyes, 911 Lone Star 1.01 by @reyeslonestar is an amazing piece of fan art, and as usual, Alice is an amazing talent that we should all appreciate.

This Grace and Judd gifset by @ronenrubinstein is just WOW. I love looking at it and cannot stop!

Marjan Marwani by @alwaysablossom is soooooo pretty. I love the colors and all the details more than I can say!

SIERRA MCCLAIN as GRACE RYDER by @bucktks is an amazing edit that highlights Grace. You should also check out this one, which is equally good! Finally, take a look at this Tarlos set! (They all are amazing.)

Judd & Owen in 2x09 (Pt2) by @911dawnstar is such a well-done gifset, and I love seeing Judd and Owen being a wonderful duo. Also look at Part 1!

“We’re gonna have a new little Texan running around!” by @shoenaerts makes me swoon, and my heart can barely handle it because Grace and Judd are the definition of LOVE. This one is also beautiful.

the ryders + howdy. by @laurenkmyers makes my heart beat faster... I love it so much.

This Grace and Judd moment by @chrissiewatts makes me cry every time I see it AHHH.

These gifs by @strandtk is so amazing. I am in love with this edit! This one too!

This gif by @jessie-meili showcases Grace in the perfect way!

Group Hugs by @rafasilvas is one of my fave gifsets ever and highlights wonderful parallels of the 126 family. I’m in love.

The truth is, I think I just wanted to hear your voice. by @buckleys-diaz is soooooo dreamy and beautiful.

Fic Recs

remind us where we've been by @morganaspendragonss (hollyhobbit101)

Word Count: 564

Chapters: 1/1

“This is something, ain’t it?” Judd says, nudging Owen gently. Owen looks around Judd's backyard, taking it all in - TK and Carlos with their two kids, Judd's three milling around, their whole family gathered together in a future Owen's not sure he ever imagined even in his wildest dreams. "It's something," he agrees.

Home is wherever you are by @sixringss (buckscasey)

Word Count: 1651

Chapters: 1/1

A week after the fire, Carlos goes back to his home.Speculation for 2x12/13

Get Me off the Boat, I'm Ready to be on Land by @silvarafael (tiniestmite)

Word Count: 3966

Chapters: 1/1

Five times TK’s sobriety is tested after he arrives in Austin but he keeps it to himself, and the one time it gets so bad that he tells someone.

The Way Our Horizons Meet (chapter 1) by @chicgeekgirl89 (Writeallnight)

Word Count: 1500

Chapters: 1/3 (WIP)

Carlos' perspective through the aftermath of T.K.'s shooting. Follows the events of episodes 1x08-1x10.

You Found Me (Did You Ever Doubt I Would?) (Chapter 10) by @doctornineandthreequarters (doctornineandthreequarters)

Word Count: 2736

Chapters: 10/? (standalone works)

Tarlos college au

#masterlist #911 lone star #lone star post #issue 12

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palimpsessed · 4 years ago

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So @captain-aralias did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!

If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k

Total: 4 fics, 113k words

Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.

Best/Worst Title?

Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.

Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself

(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)

Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV

Best/worst summary?

Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.

Best:

To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.

Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away

Worst: A Man of Letters

I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.

Best/Worst First Line?

Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?

Best:

In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)

I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)

Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔

Worst:

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)

I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂

Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)

The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!

Best/Worst Last Line?

Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.

Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.

Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.

Worst:

To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."

It's not bad, it's just not mine.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).

I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

That depends on the metric.

To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).

But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.

Story most upderappreciated by the universe?

I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.

Story that could have been better?

I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.

Sexiest story?

Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.

Saddest story?

At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.

Most fun?

To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.

Hardest story to write?

Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.

Most overdue story?

I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!

What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?

Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.

#fan fic year in review #my fic #at the top of a tower with you #use your words #a man of letters #to the manor borne

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thisuserlovesnayeon · 4 years ago

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hello everyone! well i dont know who i mean by “everyone” considering my blog is basically an echo chamber for my own thoughts and feelings but nevertheless hello! as you may have seen already loads on your dash, everyone’s whipping out the end of year shoutout posts thanking the people who have made this dark hellhole seem a bit brighter. im going to do the same - so to all the people tagged below thank you very much for your services to my mental wellbeing!! as an avid fanfic consumer i will say the amount i interact with said fanfic writers is quite atrocious - something I hope to improve in the new year. so without further ado, here are some people id like to say thanks and well done to!

🌟 @starrychannies - thank you for being the first skz blog i decided to follow since stanning!! your fics are so beautifully written and you just have this way of writing that fills me with what i can only describe as warmth and love. the little details you put in and how you write the characters (both skz and the reader) is what keeps me coming for more. its like i feel a genuine connection with the characters that rarely occurs in fics it seems and im very grateful for your talent - along with the memey gifsets and picures of course! i genuinely hope 2021 is a gorgeous year for you!

🌷 @akinnie75 - where on earth do i even begin!!! i remember stumbling across your blog on a sunny june afternoon and suddenly it was time for dinner, id read all of your fics multiple times and i could barely remember that the BTS members werent really princes or ghosts or even sociology majors! the way your stories cascade across the page like a giant waterfall is something i havent seen in literature for a really long time. again, im a sucker for characterisation and you absolutely nail it every single time. thank you so much for the work you produce and once again i hope 2021 brings you joy and happiness.

⛩ @chenle - if we’re talking about blogs that fed my skz addiction, it would be a crime not to mention you. i literally vivdly remember sending you an ask saying I dOn’T eVeN kNoW wHo StRaY kIdS aRe YoUr FiCs ArE nIcE tHo and look where we are now. i can sense 2020 was a tough one, as was the case with so many people and whilst a part of me is sad you are no longer writing, i am mostly very grateful for the vast expanse of fics and ideas and stories and headcanons and everything else you blessed your cult with. i sincerely hope you can take this opportunity to rest and rejuvenate and whatever path you choose to take i will support you all the way.

🎨 @ofkimtaehyung - although i mentioned my avid consumption of fanfics, i do enjoy the occasional gifset and fanart too. whilst im past my brief tryst with BTS (she says 👀👀) one would have to be blind to ignore the immeasurable talent you hold. how you manage to manipulate music videos and photoshoots into concert ticket stubs, movie posters and broadway leaflets is honestly beyond me. BTS are already 7 of the most handsome ethereal men to exist and your sublime editing means they end up looking even more heavenly. i hope 2021 brings rewards for your work because it is seriously amazing!

⛓ @anqeluv - your changing aesthetics as well as the 2020 kinktober masterlist were all that i needed to be drawn in. the way you write the filthiest things in the most simple and eloquent manner is severely understated. lots of people tend to go overboard with the ~naughty~ scenes but you keep it the perfect balance of classy and downright filthy which is much appreciated. im very excited to see that you are possibly considering writing for ateez as well - who are one of my newer fav groups! i very much look forward to all that you will bring in 2021 and hope you are safe and well.

🐈 @chaoticminhos - it was priceless that pulled me in and all the rest of your gorgeous fics that have kept me here! and boy am i not complaining. you have such a gentle (ironic for someone called chaos i suppose) way of writing in my opinion, that keeps things flowing and simple without unnecessary embellishments and i just adore it. priceless, in my humble opinion, is such a classic that i keep coming back to. i sit back in awe at the quiet progress of their relationship every goddamn time (as though im reading it for the first time) and im very grateful for the experience. i hope 2021 brings you lots of light and positivity.

there are so many other blogs that have helped me get through this year - whether it be with their creative content like fics, their personalities and jokes shared on their blogs or even advice given to their anons. im sorry i couldnt mention everyone, but do know that if i follow you you hold a very special place in my heart and im very grateful to all of you content creators. people dont appreciate what you do enough, and instead of offering feedback and compliments you get attacked by rude anons demanding more of your work, regardless of what your personal situation might be. you dont deserve this at all and i do hope people have worked on their manners during quarantine now that we have had the time! anyway, to close off, even if you havent done anything this year, im still incredibly proud of you for making it this far. whether we’ve talked before or not (we probably havent im a bit of a hermit i’ll be honest), my inbox is always open. if you need a friend to joke with, a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to - im here. have an absolutely amazing NYE and lets make 2021 our year!!!!!

#skz #ateez #bts #fanfic #end of year thanks post eyyyy #love u all #stay safe!!!

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monstersdownthepath · 5 years ago

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Spiritual Spotlight: Grandmother Spider

True Neutral Goddess of Weaving, Illusions, and Family

Domains: Charm, Community, Darkness, Luck, Trickery Subdomains: Curse, Deception, Family, Fate, Night, Thievery

Faiths of Golarion, pg. 11~15

Obedience: Spend an hour weaving something clever and useful that you will use to better your community, incorporating the stories or symbolism of Grandmother Spider. This can be any sort of “weaving,” such as weaving blankets, clothing, or tapestries, or “weaving” a tall tale, elaborate story, or confidence game that teaches someone a valuable lesson. Benefit: Gain a +2 sacred or profane bonus on Bluff and Perform (oratory) checks and on saving throws against illusions.

Aww, how cute! Spending an hour each day crafting a cute little doodad for for your... ... Wait, your community? Adventurers don’t have a community! Oh no!

Nah, kidding, that’s not too much of an impediment unless your DM is especially pedantic. Just making something useful to drop off at the next civilization you visit, or even just for your party members, will likely count for the purposes of this Obedience. Just make sure that whoever receives your gift actually needs it, because otherwise you’re not only not bettering your community, but you’ll likely look like a loon. Also, the fact you can ‘weave’ some tall tales gives you an excellent in-character excuse to actually write little short stories and vignettes to convey moral lessons and share them with your party. It’s an excellent roleplaying moment and can sharpen your skills as a writer and storyteller!

It also means you’re very hard to disarm. Even bereft of materials or bound by rope and chain you can compose your stories in your head to connect yourself with Grandmother Spider, and it also means keeping yourself hidden from unwanted attention (such as that from Asmodeus and his followers) is pathetically easy. Your physical weaving must bear the Grandmother’s markings, but enemies of your faith can’t exactly see your stories as they’re being composed, unless of course you’re writing them down in-character.

Sadly, this benefit is pretty wimpy. Bluff is nice, and a bonus to saves against any and all illusions is pretty sweet, but this bonus is only half as powerful as benefits typically are. I can appreciate you becoming better at actually telling the stories you’re creating, though! It’s cute!

Boons are gathered slowly, typically obtained when a given character has 12, 16, and 20 hit dice. Unlike fiend-worshipers, servants of the Eldest, and devoted of the Empyreal Lords, characters worshiping Neutral gods do not have catch-all classes… but Neutral-aligned characters can enter the Evangelist, Sentinel, and Exalted Prestige Classes earlier than Evil characters, classing in as early as level 6 (they need +5 BAB, 5 ranks in a single skill, or the ability to cast lvl 3 spells); entered ASAP, one can gain the Boons at levels 8, 11, and 14.

———-

EVANGELIST

———-

Boon 1: Charming Sort. Gain Sleep 3/day, Eagle’s Splendor 2/day, or Glibness 1/day.

Good news! Entering Evangelist as early as possible means that Sleep is still useful against encounters you may face, knocking out up to 4 HD of enemies in a single cast and keeping them in dreamland for 1 min/level. Bad news! It’ll struggle to remain viable once you’re up another two levels, because at that point, the DM may begin throwing meatier and meatier encounters after you. It’s certainly a good spell to keep as backup, though, at least until you reach into the 11s and 12s and so on, though by that point you likely have more efficient ways to knock foes out of the fight.

Like avoiding one in the first place. Glibness is, one could say, a strong spell. A +20 to Bluff checks to convince someone what you’re saying is true is usually enough to counteract the penalties you’d normally suffer from, and in fact is exactly enough to cancel out the -20 penalty you’d take trying to convince someone of an impossible lie (beware of telling lies that are instantly disprovable, though). With an absolutely endless 10 min/level duration, Glibness will let you lie your way halfway into a dungeon, and not even magic that forces the truth from you is a guarantee since it must first pass a caster level check against a DC 15 + your caster level to do so.

That being said, I wouldn’t advise trying to use it to, say, convince the local king that you’re the true heir to his throne, because at that point the court wizard (there is always a court wizard) will likely catch on that something’s wrong and club you over the head with Dispel Magic... especially if this is the second time you try doing something like that. Still, though, it’s a spell whose usefulness is difficult to understate or undersell, especially since Grandmother Spider already prompts you to be deceptive. Eagle’s Splendor’s comparatively paltry +2 to your Bluff is basically nothing when compared to it.

And the best part is that, unlike Sleep, it’s useful at every level!

Boon 2: Storyteller: You gain the Bard’s Fascinating Performance class feature and a number of rounds of Bardic Performance per day equal to your Charisma modifier + your Hit Dice. If you already have Fascinating Performance, your HD is considered to be your Bard level for the purpose of your Fascinating Performance’s save DC and your Bardic Performance rounds per day.

AAHHRUM-hum! Stay a while, and listen.

The save DC to avoid becoming Fascinated is 10 + 1/2 your HD + your Charisma modifier, by the way. You also start with ((HD x 2) + 4 + Cha mod) rounds of Performance! For those of you who’ve never played with or against a Bard, this means that you can now hypnotize entire crowds of people at once, provided they can see and hear you (and aren’t immune to mind-affecting effects, natch). While any immediate threat to your listeners’ person breaks the fascination effect, it does mean you’re the unrivaled king/queen/royal of distractions among your party. You can technically walk into a room and immediately capture them in your web, because so long as combat isn’t initiated and your party doesn’t do anything especially suspicious, any enemy that fails the save is transfixed for however long you can maintain the performance.

While the second part of this ability--merging your total HD together to make sure your performance scales even as you multiclass--seems good on paper, it’s entirely redundant due to the Evangelist’s Aligned Class ability, which merges the Prestige Class and your base class together anyway, earning you an amazing net gain of one (1) additional HD and meaning this ability doesn’t really exist. HOWEVER, if you’re NOT going into Evangelist and are instead keeping the Deific Obedience feat while multiclassing into a different combination, the primary benefit here is that it continues to tick your rounds of Bardic Performance up, one of the most important scaling abilities Bards have. Sadly you get no access to the more advanced performances, but that’s the sacrifice you make to serve the Grandmother.

Also, if you’re remaining a pure Bard, this ability indeed does not exist at all. oof.

Boon 3: One With The Night: You gain darkvision with a range of 30 feet, or extend your existing darkvision by 30 feet. You need only half the normal amount of sleep or rest each day to avoid becoming fatigued.

...

really

I don’t want to be nasty to dear Grandmother Spider, but with such an ominously named ability, you’d be lead to believe it grants some form of invisibility or somesuch. Not so; it merely grants you darkvision, something you’ll either have or have easy access to by level 14, and while needing only half as much rest to keep yourself running is nice, it’s severely underpowered compared to most final Boons.

Especially since the rest of your party likely requires their full 8 hours of sleep anyway, so it can be difficult for you to find a way to make use of your extra hours. I suggest taking up crafting, to be honest; you’re doing it anyway, may as well craft magic items too! Especially potions, some of which can be crafted in just 4 hours!

Despite that, though, this is still a disappointing and tragically weak Boon, especially compared with everything else Grandma gives to her followers...

———-

EXALTED

———-

Boon 1: The Weaver: Gain Silent Image 3/day, Minor Image 2/day, or Borrow Fortune 1/day.

I’m not going to comment on Borrow Fortune, as it’s just a plain terrible spell. You can reroll a single d20 at the cost of causing Misfortune (roll twice, take lower) on yourself on every single roll you make for the next two rounds. No thanks!

SIlent and Minor Image both fill a similar niche, one that greatly rewards creative thinking. Their enormous areas of effect (four 10ft cubes + one more cube per level) lets you cause some serious shenanigans. Silent Image alone can be used, among other things, to create fields of statues, walls where there weren’t, the image of several siege engines or monstrous backup soldiers (in case an enemy is viewing you from afar), thorny or hazardous barriers, impossibly deep ‘pits,’ and other such hazards that can make your enemies hesitate to approach you. I especially enjoy the possibility of squeezing your party against a wall and then projecting the image of a wall in front of you to hide from pursuers--it’s an old trick, but an effective and reliable tactic!

Minor Image allows your projections to make noise, meaning “summoning” illusory monsters, fires, machines, or other such things becomes far more viable. Even in combat, an enemy suddenly having some horrifying monster appear in front of them can make them pause when they can’t be sure it’s an illusion. Since spell-likes have no components onlookers can be more easily convinced that what they see is real, especially if you mime casting a more dangerous spell. You can even have your illusions pop up in your wake without moving an inch! The applications of these spells are limitless for people who enjoy playing tricksters and deceivers, and both of them have their advantages (Silent Image, mainly, being usable one more time each day), so pick the one that works best with your shenanigans!

Boon 2: Inspired Illusionist: Illusion spells from the Figment and Glamer subschool that you cast last twice as long, as if affected by Extend Spell. They cannot be affected by the Extend Spell Metamagic feat. In addition, the following spells are added to your spells known: Silent Image, Minor Image, Major Image, Hallucinatory Terrain, Persistent Image, Project Image, and Screen.

All of those spells are figments and glamers, of course.

Mmm, free feats! Sort of! It’s not really a feat, but imitates one, doubling the duration of your illusions to give them some serious staying power. While you’ll rarely need an illusion for such a long time, some spells require you to concentrate on them to maintain their effects but have a small window of time where their effects sustain themselves when you lose concentration, typically just 2 or 3 rounds. Doubling this time means anything you conjure in combat will likely stay in place for its duration, allowing you to ‘fire and forget’ your figments and concentrate on ones that will actually cause pain.

Alternately, this will let you mix your illusions with other spells you cast to make it even more realistic!

Also, note that while most projections are figments, glamers include such treasures as Disguise Self and Invisibility, as well as all of its offshoots (Greater, Mass, etc). Doubling the duration of Mass Invisibility without needing a higher level spell slot can absolutely trivialize some stealth missions, letting you and your party stay hidden until everyone is in position. Invisibility already lasts for a full minute per level, and doubling that just makes it ridiculous.

ALSO also, free spells! They’re added right to your spells known list so Oracles don’t even have to worry about giving up their precious spells known slots! AND they’re some of the best Illusion spells you could ask for! If only she gave you Mirage Arcana... Oh, it does bear mentioning that the spells are added to your spell list; they’re not spell-likes! In fact, it’s up to the DM whether or not your illusory spell-like abilities are actually affected by this ability, because normally you need the Extend Spell-Like Ability feat to do so, while this ability only replicates Extend Spell. Something to discuss!

Boon 3: Willful Weaver: 3/day, you may use illusions to mimic certain Conjuration or Evocation spells, as if using Greater Shadow Conjuration or Shadow Evocation.

I love Boons like this, because they’re powerful! But I also hate Boons like this, because they’re difficult to talk about! It’s like someone handing you a toolbox filled to bursting with whatever you could ask for and then telling you to describe the functions of each one and what sorts of problems you could solve with it. Rather than going on for eighty paragraphs about it, I’ll simply cover two or three spells each one can replicate, and leave the rest up to you! And always, always remember that spell-likes can be cast without components, meaning that even if you’re tied up or at the mercy of a villain, you can still call for aid from the Plane of Shadow.

Greater Shadow Conjuration lets you mimic any 6th or lower Conjuration (Creation) or Conjuration (Summoning) spell from the Wizard or Sorcerer spell lists, such as Wall of Iron, Summon Monster VI, or Acid Fog. Creatures who succeed on the Will save needed to see through the illusions only take 60% of the damage the spell would normally deal, or are only affected by the special effects and abilities of the spell (or creature it summons) 60% of the time. If the poor fool fails its Will save, however, it treats the conjured creature or item as if it were completely real. Note that Greater Shadow Conjuration does not require any components of the original spell, letting you replicate spells that normally have costly components for free!

Shadow Evocation can mimic the effects of any 4th level or lower Evocation spell from the Wiz/Sorc list, such as Wall of Fire, Fireball, or Resilient Sphere. Sadly, it’s much more gracious with people who manage to see through it; people who succeed on the Will save to see through the illusion take only 20% of the damage they would have been dealt, and have only a 20% chance to be affected by any non-damaging effect it may have. This is in addition to whatever reductions may be in place if they succeed the save against the original spell, as well. Failing the Will save makes them treat the spell as real, of course, and as with GSC, your illusory replication requires no components, letting you throw around spells you’d normally hesitate to because of their price tag.

Now THIS is how you do a Boon! Excellent! Now, lets see about the Sentinel...

———-

SENTINEL

———-

Boon 1: Trapper. Gain Animate Rope 3/day, Web 2/day, or Spiked Pit 1/day.

Animate Rope’s a bit niche here, and it’s competing with Web, so unfortunately it’s going to have to get pushed off the table a bit. Its uses out of combat aren’t particularly astonishing, and its uses in combat are done better by Web in almost all situations, anyway.

Few things can gum up a pitched battle than a huge swath of the terrain suddenly being replaced with an impassable tangle of sticky fibers, grappling anyone who fails a Reflex save and becoming difficult terrain and partial cover for all creatures who succeed. The fact it needs to be anchored between two points means it can’t be used in every situation, but more often than not, combat scenarios you get trapped in will likely have plenty of spots to hang your webs from. Two walls count as anchor points! As does a ceiling and a floor--your Web doesn’t need to be places horizontally!

Spiked Pit is a nasty spell, conjuring a 10x10 extradimensional hole that’s 50 feet deep, lined with deadly spikes. One can think of it like a pseudo Save-or-Suck, capable of taking any foe that fits inside the entry hole out of the fight for its entire duration if they aren’t good at the whole climbing bit. The DC to scale a Spiked Pit is 20, and few creatures--especially humanoids--will actually bother putting the ranks in Climb they’ll need to make their way out with any sort of expediency. Not to mention, the spines will be clawing 1d6 chunks per round out of any creature that remains in the pit; it’s not much damage, but it’s damage they cannot avoid taking so long as they remain in the conjured hole.

Plus, you can throw more people into it! 50ft is a lot of storage space!

One niche spell, and two really good area control spells. The Grandmother certainly blesses her Sentinels!

Boon 2: Net Master: You gain Net Adept as a bonus feat, ignoring its prerequisites. If you already have Net Adept, you instead gain a +1 sacred or profane bonus to attack rolls with a net. In addition, if you are wielding a net one-handed and have nothing in your off hand, you gain a +1 shield bonus to AC.

As with the case of Ahriman, if you’re truly the kind of person who wants to use your god’s sacred weapon, you likely already have the feats you need to make it effective, especially since Net Adept can be taken as early as level 1.

Net Adept lets you use a net as a melee weapon with a 10ft reach, meaning you possess an huge threat radius (for a player)... with a weapon that deals no damage. Don’t get me wrong, nets are handy! They tangle and impede anyone you hit with a ranged touch attack, potentially tethering them to you until they manage to escape, but there’s only so much you can do with just a net on its own. While this ability encourages you to avoid wielding another weapon to get that free AC, a net is best used with something small and stabby/large and crushy that you can malice your trapped target with. A bludgeoning instrument is especially useful here, as it’s less likely to actually tear at your webbing while you slowly render your tangled foe into a fine paste. The +1 AC usually isn’t attractive enough to give up when compared to actually doing something about your snared victim.

Being a Net Master does mean that you’re amazing at keeping anyone from getting away from you. with people trying to flee your 10ft reach drawing your Attacks of Opportunity and getting snagged for their troubles... But, again, you can be a Net Adept as early as level 1 compared to this ability coming online at level 11 at the earliest, at which point all this ability really does is give you +1 to your attack rolls with nets and encourages you to not wield a weapon in your offhand. Not a good look! Unless you plan on taking people alive, of course, but pfffpt, who does that?

Boon 3: Binding Strike: Upon confirming a critical hit against an enemy, you can choose to entangle the enemy in sticky webs rather than dealing any extra damage. This acts as Hold Monster, with a caster level equal to your HD. You may use this ability a number of times per day equal to your Charisma modifier (min 1).

No saving throw, by the way! Confirming the critical hit is good enough in this case, the monster ending up smashed by the effect even if they’d normally have sky-high saves. Hold Monster lasts 1 round/level, essentially meaning whoever you hit with this is out of the fight for good, especially if you or an ally can follow up with a coup de grace afterwords. Its uses per day are unfortunately tied to Charisma, a stat the Sentinel will likely have little use for, but knowing you’re going to get this ability ahead of time allows you to plan for it! Don’t dump Cha!

Unlike with Yhidothrus’ second Sentinel Boon, it can be quite easy for a Sentinel of Grandmother Spider to justify giving up the juicy extra damage of a critical hit for a secondary effect, since this secondary effect more or less deals infinite damage--in that whoever’s hit by it is gone for over a minute. LIKE the Ravager Worm’s Sentinel Boon, though, Hold Monster simply fails to work against a lot of enemies you’d often really like it to work against; once you hit the middle-high levels, you’re likely to start facing threats from less human adversaries. Constructs, Dragons, Oozes, Plants, Undead, AND Vermin outright ignore this ability, a full 6 of 13 creature types! (and one common creature subtype--Elementals!) While you’re likely to be facing mostly Humanoids or Monstrous Humanoids, the fact this ability falters against such a huge number of different foes can be discouraging.

And piling on top of all of this, again, is the fact you have to land a successfully confirmed critical hit to see it come into play at all, something that’s entirely luck-based. When it lands it’s GLORIOUS! But if the dice are against you, you may never see it when you really, really need to. I’m not a fan of Boons that trigger randomly!

Looks like the Exalted win this round!

You can read more about her here.

#Spiritual Spotlight #Neutrality Notes #body horror #sort of #ask to tag #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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alwaysspeakshermind · 5 years ago

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“Will you stay with me?”

Varchie Appreciation Week~Day 6: Favorite Heartbreaking Scene

This is way late and a little bit of a lie because I love *all* the heartbreaking Varchie scenes, but the one I consider basically flawless is this one in "The Stranger” (3x10), so that’s what I decided to go with.

A quick summary of why I like it:

Emotion—KJ Apa and Camila Mendes do a fantastic job of keeping everything understated so that you really feel the love Archie and Veronica have for each other, and, say what you will about the writers, but this was one of the best-written prelude-to-a-breakup scenes I’ve seen in any TV show because it’s so heavily grounded in feelings that are at odds with circumstances

Music—it’s always good in Riverdale, but this one just amplifies the hurt, you know?

Contextual significance—all A&V want to do is be together, but the world keeps trying to interrupt that. They’ve been staving off trouble through sheer effort for a while, but it’s finally closing in on them, and this is their way of fighting against it one more time.

For a few minutes in an episode that’s highlighting how different everything is, it seems like nothing’s changed, because it’s just Archie and Veronica.

A not-quick “summary” of why I like it:

Okay, to be clear: I do not really like this part of the S3 Varchie storyline. I do not like any part of any Riverdale storyline that involves an Archie-Veronica breakup, because I love my little babies and they’re meant for each other, and it’s annoying watching them be apart and sad for no reason other than manufactured TV drama.

BUT!

As scenes designed to lead up to angsty, unnecessary, nonsensical TV breakups go, this one was well-executed. Really well-executed. All things considered from a purely artistic perspective rather than that of my inner Varchie fan, it’s downright beautiful. The emotions are all tangled up because Archie and Veronica have so much insane crap going on in their lives...Archie’s still wrecked from his ordeals and Veronica’s busy, strained, and still a little mad at Archie for leaving when he could’ve stayed. But underlying all that is how much they love each other.

In fact, it’s the depth of that love that sort of complicates everything—Archie’s behaving in ways that make perfect sense to us, the viewers (assuming of course you’re a viewer savvy enough to understand that 3x01-3x09 were pretty traumatic for him) but the reasons aren’t obvious to Veronica. She doesn’t know what is going on with Archie because he hasn’t really told her how much everything’s affected him, but she’s also under so much pressure with her parents, La Bonne Nuit, etc., that she’s not as in-tune to him as she usually is.

Additionally—whether he’s doing it for selfish reasons or not I personally think he is but hey, that’s just my opinion so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt—Reggie’s exacerbating the problem by picking at Archie in the locker room and feeding Veronica’s worst fears by reminding her how possible it is he might be forever changed for the worse. By the time she finds out Reggie’s blurted out to Archie that she “cheated,” she’s already pretty stressed.

[Note: Do NOT get me started on the use of “cheating.” I’m still mad; how dare Reggie insinuate that him edging his way in and Veronica being sad and missing Archie and using him as an obvious rebound one time during a period when A&V were broken up was in any way her going behind Archie’s back? *pulls up PowerPoint with 957 slides on how Veronica’s response to Reggie asking her at her locker why she hasn’t texted him back + how immediately ready she was to get back together with Archie shows exactly who is the starter and who is the scrub*]

But as messy as the whole thing is, Veronica still loves Archie. Archie still loves Veronica. They can’t just do the we’ve-got-too-much-going-on-let’s-pretend-this-never-happened thing they did in 1x11 (the last time they were in a similar situation; remember how all-over-the-map Archie was in 1x10 and how upset Veronica was and how they found comfort in each other?), because now that they’ve dated and fallen in love, it’s impossible to pretend it never happened.

And as snarled up as everything is, neither of them wants to leave each other. Archie knows what Veronica’s about to say, but he stops her from saying it because he loves her and doesn’t want to lose her. He doesn’t go all Ain’t Too Proud To Beg and ask her to pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease never leave him like he could (and probably wants to)...he just asks for one more night.

Veronica does not have to agree. He’s asking, not pleading or insisting, and being together one more time with someone you’re deeply connected to just makes it harder to cut ties if and when you finally have to. She’s someone who found it hard to say the L-word once upon a time, and has already been hurt more than once by losing Archie right after she let herself get attached. But she does agree, and even smiles through teary eyes, because she loves him, too.

And that’s what makes this scene so perfect to me.

As twisted as it sounds, it’s one of those weird laws of nature that beauty often goes hand-in-hand with disaster, and there’s a lot of artistic value in highlighting the good portions of a relationship/showcasing the depth of romantic love even as it’s on the verge of being torn to shreds. Even though it’s stab-you-in-the-heart sad, this is one of the best Archie-Veronica scenes in three seasons because it blends the obvious love they have for each other with their fears that everything’s going wrong; although they’re choosing to ignore all their problems and all the craziness for one night, we and they know they won’t be able to, we and they know their history/what they’ll be losing if they lose each other, and we and they know how much they don’t want to lose each other. No, the official breakup doesn’t happen here, but this is the scene that lets you know it’s coming, so in a way, it’s almost worse.

The emotional effect of this scene is (to me) the same as listening to a sad song on a rainy day, watching a really good movie about a really terrible historical tragedy, or re-reading a book where my favorite character(s) die(s)… I know there’s only one way it can end (the not-good way), but I can’t stop watching because it’s probably going to be the last time I get to see these characters together for a while, and I want to make the most of it, and also there’s just something fascinating I can’t look away from.

So yes, I hate it, but I also love it, and I’ll admire it forever, but I would also really appreciate never having to sit through a scene like it again, because I’m fairly certain my heart hasn’t recovered. Ugh, the way they hold onto each other gets me every time.

“Oh, God, Archie. This is the worst time to be doing this...”

“Then let’s not. Let’s finish this conversation tomorrow. But tonight...can we be together? Will you stay with me?”

#varchieaw2019 #varchie #archieronnie #archie x veronica #riverdale opinion #my post #tumblr essay

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grigori77 · 5 years ago

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2019 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30. GLASS – back in 2000, I went from liking the work of The Sixth Sense’s writer-director M. Night Shyamalan to becoming a genuine FAN thanks to his sneakily revisionist deconstruction of superhero tropes, Unbreakable. It’s STILL my favourite film of his to date, and one of my Top Ten superhero movies EVER, not just a fascinating examination of the mechanics of the genre but also a very satisfying screen origin story – needless to say I’m one of MANY fans who’ve spent nearly two decades holding out hope for a sequel. Flash forward to 2016 and Shyamalan’s long-overdue return-to-form sleeper hit, Split, which not only finally put his career back on course but also dropped a particularly killer end twist by actually being that very sequel. Needless to say 2019 was the year we FINALLY got our PROPER reward for all our patience – Glass is the TRUE continuation of the Unbreakable universe and the closer of a long-intended trilogy. Turns out, though, that it’s also his most CONTROVERSIAL film for YEARS, dividing audiences and critics alike with its unapologetically polarizing plot and execution – I guess that, after a decade of MCU and a powerhouse trilogy of Batman movies from Chris Nolan, we were expecting an epic, explosive action-fest to close things out, but that means we forgot exactly what it is about Shyamalan we got to love so much, namely his unerring ability to subvert and deconstruct whatever genre he’s playing around in. And he really doesn’t DO spectacle, does he? That said, this film is still a surprisingly BIG, sprawling piece of work, even if it the action is, for the most part, MUCH more internalised than most superhero movies. Not wanting to drop any major spoilers on the few who still haven’t seen it, I won’t give away any major plot points, suffice to say that ALL the major players from both Unbreakable and Split have returned – former security guard David Dunn (Bruce Willis) has spent the past nineteen years exploring his super-strength and near-invulnerability while keeping Philadelphia marginally safer as hooded vigilante the Overseer, and the latest target of his crime-fighting crusade is Kevin Wendell Crumb (James McAvoy), the vessel of 24 split personalities collectively known as the Horde, who’s continuing his cannibalistic serial-murder spree through the streets. Both are being hunted by the police, as well as Dr. Ellie Staple (series newcomer Sarah Paulson), a clinical psychiatrist specialising in treating individuals who suffer the delusional belief that they’re superheroes, her project also encompassing David’s former mentor-turned-nemesis Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), the eponymous Mr. Glass, whose life-long suffering from a crippling bone disease that makes his body dangerously fragile has done nothing to blunt the genius-level intellect that’s made him a ruthlessly accomplished criminal mastermind. How these remarkable individuals are brought together makes for fascinating viewing, and while it may be a good deal slower and talkier than some might have preferred, this is still VERY MUCH the Shyamalan we first came to admire – fiendishly inventive, slow-burn suspenseful and absolutely DRIPPING with cool earworm dialogue, his characteristically mischievous sense of humour still present and correct, and he’s retained that unswerving ability to wrong-foot us at every turn, right up to one of his most surprising twist endings to date. The cast are, as ever, on fire, the returning hands all superb while those new to the universe easily measure up to the quality of talent on display – Willis and Jackson are, as you’d expect, PERFECT throughout, brilliantly building on the incredibly solid groundwork laid in Unbreakable, while it’s a huge pleasure to see Anya Taylor-Joy, Spencer Treat Clark (a fine actor we don’t see NEARLY enough of, in my opinion) and Charlayne Woodard get MUCH bigger, more prominent roles this time out, while Paulson delivers an understated but frequently mesmerising turn as the ultimate unshakable sceptic. As with Split, however, the film is comprehensively stolen by McAvoy, whose truly chameleonic performance actually manages to eclipse its predecessor in its levels of sheer genius. Altogether this is another sure-footed step in the right direction for a director who’s finally regained his singular auteur prowess – say what you will about that ending, but it certainly is a game-changer, as boldly revisionist as anything that’s preceded it and therefore, in my opinion, exactly how it SHOULD have gone. If nothing else, this is a film that should be applauded for its BALLS …

29. THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON – quite possibly the year’s most adorable indie, this dramatic feature debut from documentarian writer-directors Tyler Nilson and Michael Schwartz largely snuck in under the radar on release, but has gone on to garner some well-deserved critical appreciation and sleeper hit success. The lion’s share of the film’s success must surely go to the inspired casting, particularly in the central trio who drive the action – Nilson and Schwartz devised the film with Zack Gotsagen, an exceptionally talented young actor with Down’s Syndrome, specifically in mind for the role of Zak, a wrestling obsessive languishing in a North Carolina retirement home who dreams of escaping his stifling confines and going to the training camp of his hero, the Saltwater Redneck (Thomas Haden Church), where he can learn to become a pro wrestler; after slipping free, Zak enlists the initially wary help of down-at-heel criminal fisherman Tyler (Shia LaBaouf) in reaching his intended destination, while the pair are pursued by Zak’s primary caregiver, Eleanor (Dakota Johnson). Needless to say the unlikely pair bond on the road, and when Eleanor is reluctantly forced to tag along with them, a surrogate family is formed … yeah, the plot is so predictable you can see every twist signposted from miles back, but that familiarity is never a problem because these characters are so lovingly written and beautifully played that you’ve fallen for them within five minutes of meeting them, so you’re effortlessly swept along for the ride. The three leads are pure gold – this is the most laid back and cuddly Shia’s been for years, but his lackadaisical charm is pleasingly tempered with affecting pathos driven by a tragic loss in Tyler’s recent past, while Johnson is sensible, sweet and likeably grounded, even when Eleanor’s at her most exasperated, but Gotsagen is the real surprise, delivering an endearingly unpredictable, livewire performance that blazes with true, honest purity and total defiance in the face of any potential difficulties society may try to throw at Zak – while there’s excellent support from Church in a charmingly awkward late-film turn that goes a long way to reminding us just what an acting treasure he is, as well as John Hawkes and rapper Yelawolf as a pair of lowlife crab-fishermen hunting for Tyler, intending to wreak (not entirely undeserved) revenge on him for an ill-judged professional slight. Enjoying a gentle sense of humour and absolutely CRAMMED with heartfelt emotional heft, this really was one of the most downright LOVEABLE films of 2019.

28. PET SEMATARY – first off, let me say that I never saw the 1989 feature adaptation of Stephen King’s story, so I have no comparative frame of reference there – I WILL say, however, that the original novel is, in my opinion, one of the strongest offerings from America’s undisputed master of literary horror, so any attempt made to bring it to the big screen had better be a good one. Thankfully, this version more than delivers in that capacity, proving to be one of the more impressive of his cinematic outings in recent years (not quite up to the standard of The Mist or It Chapter 1, perhaps, but certainly on a par with the criminally overlooked 1408), as well as one of the year’s top horror offerings. This may be the feature debut of directing double-act Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer, but they both display a wealth of natural talent here, wrangling bone-chilling scares and a pervading atmosphere of oppressive dread to deliver a top-notch screen fright-fest that works its way under your skin and stays put for days after. Jason Clarke is a classic King everyman hero as Boston doctor Louis Creed, displaced to the small Maine town of Ludlow as he trades the ER for a quiet clinic practice so he can spent more time with his family – Amy Seimetz (Upstream Color, Stranger Things), excellent throughout as his haunted, emotionally fragile wife Rachel, toddler son Gage (twins Hugo and Lucas Lavole), and daughter Ellie (newcomer Jeté Laurence, BY FAR the film’s biggest revelation, delivering to the highest degree even when her role becomes particularly intense). Their new home seems idyllic, the only blots being the main road at the end of their drive which experiences heavy traffic from speeding trucks, and the children’s pet cemetery in the woods at the back of their garden, which has become something of a local landmark. But there’s something far darker in the deeper places beyond, an ancient place of terrible power Louis is introduced to by their well-meaning but ultimately fallible elderly neighbour Jud (one of the best performances I’ve ever seen from screen legend John Lithgow) when his daughter’s beloved cat Church is run over. The cat genuinely comes back, but he’s irrevocably changed, the once gentle and lovable furball now transformed into a menacingly mangy little psychopath, and his resurrection sets off a chain of horrific events destined to devour the entire family … this is supernatural horror at its most inherently unnerving, mercilessly twisting the screws throughout its slow-burn build to the inevitable third act bloodbath and reaching a bleak, soul-crushing climax that comes close to rivalling the still unparalleled sucker-punch of The Mist – the adaptation skews significantly from King’s original at the mid-point, but even purists will be hard-pressed to deny that this is still VERY MUCH in keeping with the spirit of the book right up to its harrowing closing shot. The King of Horror has been well served once again – fans can rest assured that his dark imagination continues to inspire some truly great cinematic scares …

27. THE REPORT – the CIA’s notorious use of torture to acquire information from detainees in Guantanamo Bay and various other sites around the world in the wake of September 11, 2001, has been a particularly spiky political subject for years now, one which has gained particular traction with cinema-goers over the years thanks to films like Rendition and, of course, controversial Oscar-troubler Zero Dark Thirty. It’s also a particular bugbear of screenwriter Scott Z. Burns (The Bourne Ultimatum, Contagion, Side Effects) – his parents are both psychologists, and he found it particularly offensive that a profession he knows was created to help people could have been turned into such a damaging weapon against the human psyche, inexorably leading him to taking up this passion project, championed by its producer, and Burns’ long-time friend and collaborator, Steven Soderbergh. It tells the true story of Senate staffer Daniel Jones’ five-year battle to bring his damning 6,300-page study of the CIA’s enhanced interrogation program, commissioned by the Senate Intelligence Committee, into the light of day in the face of increasingly intense and frequently underhanded resistance from the Agency and various high-ranking officials within the US Government whose careers could be harmed should their own collusion be revealed. In lesser hands this could have been a clunky, unappetisingly dense excuse for a slow-burn political thriller that drowned in its own exposition, but Burns handles the admittedly heavyweight material with deft skill and makes each increasingly alarming revelation breathlessly compelling while he ratchets up the tension by showing just what a seemingly impossible task Jones and his small but driven team faced. The film would have been nought, however, without a strong cast, and this one has a killer – taking a break from maintaining his muscle-mass for Star Wars, Adam Driver provides a suitably robust narrative focus as Jones, an initially understated workman who slowly transforms into an incensed moral crusader as he grows increasingly filled with righteous indignation by the vile subject matter he’s repeatedly faced with, and he’s provided with sterling support from the likes of Annette Bening, delivering her best performance in years as Senator Dianne Feinstein, Jones’ staunchest supporter, the ever-wonderful Ted Levine as oily CIA director John O. Brennan, Tim Blake Nelson as a physician contracted by the CIA to assist with interrogations who became genuinely disgusted by the horrors he witnessed, and Matthew Rhys as an unnamed New York Times reporter Jones considers leaking the report to when it looks like it might never be released. This is powerful stuff, and while it may only mark Burns’ second directorial feature (after his obscure debut Pu-239), he handles the gig like a seasoned pro, milking the material for every drop of dramatic tension while keeping the narrative as honest, forthright and straightforward as possible, and the end result makes for sobering, distressing and thoroughly engrossing viewing. Definitely one of the most important films not only of 2019, but of the decade itself, and one that NEEDS to be seen.

26. DARK PHOENIX – wow, this really has been a year for mistreated sequels, hasn’t it? There’s a seriously stinky cloud of controversy surrounding what is now, in light of recent developments between Disney and Twentieth Century Fox, the last true Singer-era X-Men movie, a film which saw two mooted release dates (first November 2018 then the following February, before finally limping onto screens with very little fanfare in June 2019, almost as if Fox wanted to bury it. Certainly rumours of its compromise were rife, particularly regarding supposed rushed reshoots because of clashing similarities with Marvel’s major tent-pole release Captain Marvel (and given the all-conquering nature of the MCU there was no way they were having that, was there?), so like many I was expecting a clunky mess, maybe even a true stinker to rival X-Men Origins: Wolverine. In truth, while it’s not perfect, the end result is nothing like the turd we all feared – the final film is, in fact, largely a success, worthy of favourable comparison with its stronger predecessors. It certainly makes much needed amends for the disappointing mismanagement of the source comics’ legendary Dark Phoenix saga in 2006’s decidedly compromised original X-Men trilogy capper The Last Stand, this time treating the story with the due reverence and respect it deserves as well as serving as a suitably powerful send-off for more than one beloved key character. Following the “rebooted” path of the post-Days of Future Past timeline, it’s now 1992, and after the world-changing events of Apocalypse the X-Men have become a respected superhero team with legions of fans and their own personal line to the White House, while mutants at large have mostly become accepted by the regular humans around them. Then a hastily planned mission into space takes a turn for the worst and Jean Grey (Game of Thrones’ Sophie Turner) winds up absorbing an immensely powerful, thoroughly inexplicable cosmic force that makes her powers go haywire while also knocking loose repressed childhood traumas Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) would rather had stayed buried, sending her on a dangerous spiral out of control which leads to a destructive confrontation and the inadvertent death of a teammate. Needless to say, the situation soon becomes desperate as Jean goes on the run and the world starts to turn against them all once again … all in all, then, it’s business as usual for the cast and crew of one of Fox’s flagship franchises, and it SHOULD have gone off without a hitch. When Bryan Singer opted not to return this time around (instead setting his sights on Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody), key series writer Simon Kinberg stepped into the breach for his directorial debut, and it turns out he’s got a real talent for it, giving us just the kind of robust, pacy, thrilling action-packed epic his compatriot would have delivered, filled with the same thumping great set-pieces (the final act’s stirring, protracted train battle is the unequivocal highlight here), well-observed character beats and emotional resonance we’ve come to expect from the series as a whole (then again, he does know these movies back to frond having at least co-written his fair share). The cast, similarly, are all on top form – McAvoy and Michael Fassbender (as fan favourite Erik Lehnsherr, aka Magneto) know their roles so well now they can do this stuff in their sleep, but we still get to see them explore interesting new facets of their characters (particularly McAvoy, who gets to reveal an intriguing dark side to the Professor we’ve only ever seen hinted at before now), while Turner finally gets to really breathe in a role which felt a little stiff and underexplored in her series debut in Apocalypse (she EASILY forges the requisite connective tissue to Famke Janssen’s more mature and assured take in the earlier films); conversely Tye Sheridan (Cyclops), Alexandra Shipp (Storm), Kodi Smit-McPhee (Nightcrawler) and Evan Peters (Quicksilver) get somewhat short shrift but nonetheless do A LOT with what little they have, and at least Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult still get to do plenty of dramatic heavy lifting as the last of Xavier’s original class, Raven (Mystique) and Hank McCoy (Beast); the only real weak link in the cast is the villain, Vuk, a shape-shifting alien whose quest to seize the power Jean’s appropriated is murkily defined at best, but at least Jessica Chastain manages to invest her with enough icy menace to keep things from getting boring. All in all, then, this is very much a case of business as usual, Kinberg and co keeping the action thundering along at a suitably cracking pace throughout (powered by a typically epic score from Hans Zimmer), and the film only really comes off the rails in its final moments, when that aforementioned train finally comes off its tracks and the reported reshoots must surely kick in – as a result this is, to me, most reminiscent of previous X-flick The Wolverine, which was a rousing success for the majority of its runtime, only coming apart in its finale thanks to that bloody ridiculous robot samurai. The climax is, therefore, a disappointment, too clunky and sudden and overly neat in its denouement (we really could have done with a proper examination of the larger social impact of these events), but it’s little enough that it doesn’t spoil what came before … which just makes the film’s mismanagement and resulting failure, as well as its subsequent treatment from critics and fans alike, all the more frustrating. This film deserved much better, but ultimately looks set to be disowned and glossed over by most of the fanbase as the property as a whole goes through the inevitable overhaul now that Disney/Marvel owns Fox and plans to bring the X-Men and their fellow mutants into the MCU fold. I feel genuinely sorry for the one remaining X-film, The New Mutants, which is surely destined for spectacular failure after its similarly shoddy round of reschedules finally comes to an end this summer …

25. IT CHAPTER 2 – back in 2017, Mama director Andy Muschietti delivered the first half of his ambitious two-film adaptation of one of Stephen King’s most popular and personal novels, which had long been considered un-filmable (the 90s miniseries had a stab, but while it deserves its cult favourite status it certainly fell short in several places) until Muschietti and screenwriters Cary Joji Fukunaga and Gary Dauberman seemingly did the impossible, and the end result was the top horror hit of the year. Ultimately, then, it was gonna be a tough act to follow, and there was MAJOR conjecture whether they could repeat that success with this second half. Would lightning strike twice? Well, the simple answer is … mostly. 2017’s Chapter 1 was a stone-cold masterpiece, and one of the strongest elements in its favour was the extremely game young cast of newcomers and relative unknown child actors who brought the already much beloved Loser’s Club to perfectly-cast life, a seven-strong gang of gawky pre-teen underdogs you couldn’t help loving, which made it oh-so-easy to root for them as they faced off against that nightmarish shape-shifting child-eating monster, Pennywise the Dancing Clown. It was primal, it was terrifying, and it was BURSTING with childhood nostalgia that thoroughly resonated with an audience hungry for more 80s-set coming-of-age genre fare after the runaway success of Stranger Things. Bringing the story into the present day with the Losers now returning to their childhood home of Derry, Maine as forty-something adults, Chapter 2 was NEVER going to achieve the same pulse-quickening electric charge the first film pulled off, was it? Thankfully, with the same director and (mostly) the same writing crew on hand (Fukunaga jumped ship but Dauberman was there to finish up with the help of Jason Fuchs and an uncredited Jeffrey Jurgensen) there’s still plenty of that old magic left over, so while it’s not quite the same second time round, this still feels very much like the same adventure, just older, wiser and a bit more cynical. Here’s a more relevant reality check, mind – those who didn’t approve of the first film’s major changes from the book are going to be even more incensed by this, but the differences here are at least organic and in keeping with the groundwork laid in Chapter 1, and indeed this film in particular is a VERY different beast from the source material, but these differences are actually kind of a strength here, Muschietti and co. delivering something that works MUCH better cinematically than a more faithful take would have. Anyway, the Loser’s Club are back, all grown up and (for the most part) wildly successful living FAR AWAY from Derry with dream careers and seemingly perfect lives. Only Mike Hanlon has remained behind to hold vigil over the town and its monstrous secret, and when a new spree of disappearances and grisly murders begins he calls his old friends back home to fulfil the pact they all swore to uphold years ago – stop Pennywise once and for all. The new cast are just as excellent as their youthful counterparts – Jessica Chastain and James McAvoy are, of course, the big leads here as grown up Beverley Marsh and Bill Denbrough, bringing every watt of star power they can muster, but the others hold more interest, with Bill Hader perfectly cast (both director and child actor’s personal first choice) as smart-mouth Richie Tozier, Isaiah Mustafah (best known as the Old Spice guy from those hilarious commercials) playing VERY MUCH against type as Mike, Jay Ryan (successful on the small screen in Top of the Lake and Beauty & the Beast, but very much getting his cinematic big break here) as a slimmed-down and seriously buffed-out Ben Hanscom, James Ransone (Sinister) as neurotic hypochondriac Eddie Kaspbrak, and Andy Bean (Power, the recent Swamp Thing series) as ever-rational Stan Uris – but we still get to hang out with the original kids too in new flashbacks that (understandably) make for some of the film’s best scenes, while Bill Skarsgard is as terrifying as ever as he brings new ferocity, insidious creepiness and even a touch of curious back-story to Pennywise. I am happy to report this new one IS just as scary as its predecessor, a skin-crawling, spine-tingling, pants-wetting cold sweat of a horror-fest that works its way in throughout its substantial running time and, as before, sticks with you LONG after the credits have rolled, but it’s also got the same amount of heart, emotional heft and pathos, nostalgic charm (albeit more grown-up and sullied) and playful, sometimes decidedly mischievous geeky humour, so that as soon as you’re settled in it really does feel like you’ve come home. It’s also fiendishly inventive, the final act in particular skewing in some VERY surprising new directions that there’s NO WAY you’ll see coming, and the climax also, interestingly, redresses one particularly frustrating imbalance that always bugged me about the book, making for an especially moving, heartbreaking denouement. Interestingly, there’s a running joke in the film that pokes fun at a perceived view from some quarters that Stephen King’s endings often disappoint – there’s no such fault with THIS particular adaptation. For me, this was altogether JUST the concluding half I was hoping for, so while it’s not as good as the first, it should leave you satisfied all the same.

24. MOTHERLESS BROOKLYN – it’s taken Edward Norton twenty years to get his passion project adaptation of Jonathan Lethem’s novel to the big screen, but the final film was certainly worth the wait, a cool-as-ice noir thriller in which its writer-director also, of course, stars as one of the most unusual ‘tecs around. Lionel Essrog suffers from Tourette syndrome, prone to uncontrollable ticks and vocal outbursts as well as obsessive-compulsive spirals that can really ruin his day, but he’s also got a genius-level intellect and a photographic memory, which means he’s the perfect fit for the detective agency of accomplished, highly successful New York gumshoe Frank Minna (Bruce Willis). But when their latest case goes horribly wrong and Frank dies in a back-alley gunfight, the remaining members of the agency are left to pick up the pieces and try to find out what went wrong, Lionel battling his own personal, mental and physical demons as he tries to unravel an increasingly labyrinthine tangle of lies, deceit, corporate corruption and criminal enterprise that reaches to the highest levels of the city’s government. Those familiar with the original novel will know that it’s set in roughly the present day, but Norton felt many aspects of the story lent themselves much better to the early 1950s, and it really was a good choice – Lionel is a man very much out his time, a very odd fit in an age of stuffy morals and repression, while the themes of racial upheaval, rampant urban renewal and massive, unchecked corporate greed feel very much of the period. Besides, there’s few things as seductive than a good noir thriller, and Norton has crafted a real GEM right here. The pace can be a little glacial at times, but this simply gives the unfolding plot and extremely rich collection of characters plenty of room to grow, while the jazzy score (from up-and-comer Daniel Pemberton, composer on Steve Jobs, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse) provides a surprising complimentary accompaniment to the rather free-form narrative style and Lionel’s own scattershot, bebop style. Norton is exceptional in the lead, landing his best role in years with an exquisitely un-self-conscious ease that makes for thoroughly compelling viewing (surely more than one nod will be due come awards-season), but he doesn’t hog ALL the limelight, letting his uniformly stellar supporting cast shine bright as well – Willis doesn’t get a huge amount of screen time, but delivers a typically strong, nuanced performance that makes his absence throughout the rest of the film keenly felt, Gugu Mbatha-Raw continues to build an impressive run of work as Laura, the seemingly unimportant woman Lionel befriends, who could actually be the key to the whole case, Alec Baldwin is coolly menacing as power-hungry property magnate and heavyweight city official Moses Randolph, the film’s nominal big-bad, Willem Dafoe is absolutely electrifying as his down-at-heel, insignificant genius brother Lou, and Boardwalk Empire’s Michael K. Williams is quietly outstanding as mysterious jazz musician Trumpet Man, while Bobby Canavale, Ethan Suplee and Dallas Roberts are all excellent as the other hands in Minna’s detective agency. It’s a chilled-out affair, happy to hang back and let its slow-burn plot simmer while Lionel tries to navigate his job and life in general while battling his many personal difficulties, but due to the incredible calibre of the talent on offer, the incredibly rich dialogue and obligatory hardboiled gumshoe voiceover, compelling story and frequently achingly beautiful visuals, this is about as compulsively rewarding as cinema gets. Norton’s crafted a film noir worthy of comparison with the likes of L.A. Confidential and Chinatown, proving that he’s a triple-threat cinematic talent to be reckoned with.

23. PROSPECT – I love a good cinematic underdog, there’s always some dynamite indies and sleepers that just about slip through the cracks that I end up championing every year, and one of 2019’s favourites was a minor sensation at 2018’s South By Southwest film festival, a singularly original ultra-low-budget sci-fi adventure that made a genuine virtue of its miniscule budget. Riffing on classic eco-minded space flicks like Silent Running, it introduces a father-and-daughter prospecting team who land a potentially DEEPLY lucrative contract mining for an incredibly rare element on a toxic jungle moon – widower Damon (Transparent’s Jay Duplass), who’s downtrodden and world-weary but still a dreamer, and teenager Cee (relative newcomer Sophie Thatcher), an introverted bookworm with hidden reserves of ingenuity and fortitude. The job starts well, Damon setting his sights on a rumoured “queen’s layer” that could make them rich beyond their wildest dreams, but when they meet smooth-talking scavenger Ezra (Narcos’ Pedro Pascal), things take a turn for the worse – Damon is killed and Cee is forced to team up with Ezra to have any hope for survival on this hostile, unforgiving moon. Thatcher is an understated joy throughout, her seemingly detached manner belying hidden depths of intense feeling, while Pascal, far from playing a straight villain, turns Ezra into something of a tragic, charismatic antihero we eventually start to sympathise with, and the complex relationship that develops between them is a powerful, mercurial thing, the constantly shifting dynamic providing a powerful driving force for the film. Debuting writer-directors Zeek Earl and Chris Caldwell have crafted a wonderfully introspective, multi-layered tone poem of aching beauty, using subtle visual effects and a steamy, glow-heavy colour palette to make the lush forest environs into something nonetheless eerie and inhospitable, while the various weird and colourful denizens of this deadly little world prove that Ezra may be the LEAST of the dangers Cee faces in her quest for escape. Inventive, intriguing and a veritable feast for the eyes and intellect, this is top-notch indie sci-fi and a sign of great things to come from its creators, thoroughly deserving of major cult recognition in the future.

22. DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE – S. Craig Zahler is a writer-director who’s become a major fixture on my ones-to-watch list in recent years, instantly winning me over with his dynamite debut feature Bone Tomahawk before cementing that status with awesome follow-up Brawl On Cell Block 99. His latest is another undeniable hit that starts deceptively simply before snowballing into a sprawling urban crime epic as it follows its main protagonists – disgraced Bulwark City cops Brett Ridgeman (Mel Gibson) and Tony Lurasetti (BOCB99’s Vince Vaughn), on unpaid suspension after their latest bust leads to a PR nightmare – on a descent into a hellish criminal underworld as they set out to “seek compensation” for their situation by ripping off the score from a bank robbery spearheaded by ruthlessly efficient professional thief Lorentz Vogelmann (Thomas Kretschmann). In lesser hands, this two-hour-forty-minute feature might have felt like a painfully padded effort that would have passed far better chopped down to a breezy 90-minutes, but Zahler is such a compellingly rich and resourceful writer that every scene is essential viewing, overflowing with exquisitely drawn characters spouting endlessly quotable, gold-plated dialogue, and the constantly shifting narrative focus brings such consistent freshness that the increasingly complex plot remains rewarding right to the end. The two leads are both typically excellent – Vaughn gets to let loose with a far more showy, garrulous turn here than his more reserved character in his first collaboration with Zahler, while this is EASILY the best performance I’ve seen Gibson deliver in YEARS, the grizzled veteran clearly having a fine old time getting his teeth into a particularly meaty role that very much plays to his strengths – and they’re brilliantly bolstered by an excellent supporting cast – Get Rich Or Die Tryin’s Tory Kittles easily matches them in his equally weighty scenes as Henry Johns, a newly-released ex-con also out to improve his family’s situation with a major score, while Kretschmann is at his most chilling as the brutal killer who executes his plans with cold-blooded precision, and there are wonderful scene-stealing offerings from Jennifer Carpenter, Udo Kier, Don Johnson (three more Zahler regulars, each featured with Vaughn on BOCB99), Michael Jai White, Laurie Holden and newcomer Miles Truitt. This is a proper meaty film, dark, intense, gritty and unflinching in its portrayal of honest, unglamorous violence and its messy aftermath, but fans of grown-up filmmaking will find PLENTY to enjoy here, Zahler crafting a crime epic comparable to the heady best of Scorsese and Tarantino. Another sure-fire winner from one of the best new filmmakers around.

21. FAST COLOR – intriguingly, the most INTERESTING superhero movie of the year was NOT a major franchise property, or even a comic book adapted to the screen at all, but a wholly original indie which snuck in very much under the radar on its release but is surely destined for cult greatness in the future, not least due to some much-deserved critical acclaim. Set in an unspecified future where it hasn’t rained for years, a homeless vagabond named Ruth (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) is making her aimless way across a desolate American Midwest, tormented by violent seizures which cause strange localised earthquakes, and hunted by Bill (Argo’s Christopher Denham), a rogue scientist who wants to capture her so he can study her abilities. Ultimately she’s left with no other recourse than to run home, sheltering with her mother Bo (Middle of Nowhere and Orange is the New Black’s Lorraine Toussaint), and her young daughter Lila (The Passage’s Saniyya Sidney), both of whom also have weird and wondrous powers of their own. As the estranged family reconnect, Ruth finally learns to control her powers as she’s forced to confront her own troubled past, but as Bill closes in it looks like their idyll might be short-lived … this might only be the second feature of writer-director Julie Hart (who cut her teeth penning well-regarded indie western The Keeping Room before making her own debut helming South By Southwest Film Festival hit Miss Stevens), but it’s a blinding statement of intent for the future, a deceptively understated thing of beauty that eschews classic superhero cinema conventions of big spectacle and rousing action in favour of a quiet, introspective character-driven story where the unveiling and exploration of Ruth and her kin’s abilities are secondary to the examination of how their familial dynamics work (or often DON’T), while Hart and cinematographer Michael Fimognari (probably best known for his frequent work for Mike Flanagan) bring a ruined but bleakly beautiful future to life through inventively understated production design and sweeping, dramatic vistas largely devoid of visual effects. Subtlety is the watchword, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t fireworks here, it’s just that they’re generally performance-based – awards-darling Mbatha-Raw (Belle) gives a raw, heartfelt performance, painting Ruth in vivid shades of grey, while Toussaint is restrained but powerfully memorable and Sidney builds on her already memorable work to deliver what might be her best turn to date, and there are strong supporting turns from Denham (who makes his nominal villain surprisingly sympathetic) and Hollywood great David Strathairn as gentle small town sheriff Ellis. Leisurely paced and understated it may be, but this is still an incendiary piece of work, sure to become a breakout sleeper hit for a filmmaking talent from whom I expect GREAT THINGS in the future, and since the story’s been picked up for expansion into a TV series with Hart in charge that looks like a no-brainer. And it most assuredly IS a bona fide superhero movie, despite appearances to the contrary …

#glass #glass movie #the peanut butter falcon #pet sematary #the report #dark phoenix #it chapter 2 #motherless brooklyn #prospect #prospect movie #dragged across concrete #fast color #2019 in movies

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baconpal · 5 years ago

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talkin bout fire force

shit boys it’s been too long time for another unprompted juvenile rant about manga, click keep reading if you’re insane and keep scrolling if you aren’t

So Fire Force anime starts in just about a week and I decided to just read it all instead of waiting for any anime. It took a while to read all of it and now I just kind of have a lot to say about the manga, the anime, and the author. So here we go.

I actually have a lot of good things to talk about, but I’ll get the bad shit out of the way first:

THE WRITING

idk his name it doesn’t really matter since he’s made like 2 things he’s just the soul eater guy; his art style has always been charming and the action scenes keep improving but his actual narrative writing is real bad. I’ll talk about the characters themselves since I actually think FF’s characters are a ridiculous improvement from soul eater, and the setting/aesthetic are on point as well but the plot is just as bad if not worse than whatever soul eater was.

The story is riddled with what should obviously be throwaway characters that keep being brought back and doing something evil and unexpected because it’s a shounen manga and if you aren’t being betrayed then the plot isn’t moving forward, or someone introduced as an obviously villainous character just kind of agrees to be friends in a couple chapters. This is used as a constant cycle of introducing both a set of “evil” and “good” characters, then one of the old “good” sets of characters does something evil and the newest “evil” guys turn out to be good. It’s not interesting or shocking to have a character you can’t even remember come back and act like they’re important, especially if it’s repeated over and over.

FF pretends to have some kind of politic overtones where religions and businesses and such act as their own entities and betray each other and prey on the civilians, but you see absolutely none of the impact anybody’s actions have on the world despite ridiculous things constantly happening and world shaking truths being brought to light over and over, nothing happens. Villains will also have ridiculous unbeatable abilities but then just be ignored, such as making zombie apocalypses or controlling minds and such. This is also likely a concession of being a shounen manga, where you can’t expect readers to read every single chapter, and usually on a week to week basis, so every chapter needs to have its own big shit happening, even if there’s no plans to follow through on anything.

The worst part about the writing is how much stuff that the reader didn’t know about and has no idea what it is is passed of as some shocking twist when it’s introduced. This mostly happens with powers and with new factions. There’s a ridiculous amount of times where a new group steps in as the bad guy like mentioned earlier. But for the powers, there’s so many things layered on top of an actually acceptable power system that just seem to cause a DBZ type of escalation of power without the fight scenes actually becoming that much crazier at all. On top of the simple 2nd/3rd generation fire fighter powers, the main character is meant to utilize the adolla burst, the adolla link, the preacher’s divine protection, the okay hand emoji that makes you go fast, the breath of life, and superfire fighting. None of that means anything to anyone and are just used as “MC needs to be better at something but only temporarily” over and over. It’s similar to Maka and Soul’s deals with the devil in soul eater except much more common and with absolutely no downsides.

Also not the fault of the writer himself but there is not ANY good translation of this manga out there holy shit. There’s so many incredibly obvious puns and connections and choices of words to be made that are just entirely ignored, the typesetting is always awful, and no name for moves, characters, or even the title are ever agreed upon. It took until the official release titled “Fire Force” before people stopped trying to call the manga “Burning Firefighter Squad of Fire”.

THE ANIME

Just a bit more bad to say before I go into all the shit about this manga i actually like. The anime looks awful. A lot of anime does right now, very little of note has been coming out or seems to be coming in the future, which is usually the case but its not getting better and that sucks!

But specifically the fire force anime, following up after soul eater, has absolutely none of the visual charm translated from the manga to anime, the voice casting is absolutely abysmal, and there’s nothing to give me hope in it, not enough to even give it an episode most likely. People might try to defend David productions because woah man I love jojo!!! but they’re pretty fucking bad at animating anything. The choice of color is gross and the visual effects are bland, which is a bad place to start for a show that will contain tons of fire and other bombastic effects. Big shame.

OKAY ONTO THAT GOOD SHIT

CHARACTER DESIGN

The visual designs in soul eater were cool if a bit janky, and the actual concepts for characters were far from astounding, usually being able to fully describe characters in single words and not having much development outside of combat abilities. But Fire Force has some of the most tight characters I’ve seen in a while, they’re all simple and focused with strong thematic elements.

Ya’ll know me, hopefully. I really appreciate simple designs and simple characters. Complicated does not equal deep, and simple does not equal shallow. The characters in fire force will usually embody a concept, or a concept and its exact opposite, and be never waver from their design. I’ll talk about em for specific characters when I get to em but even lots of minor characters are very well focused and I appreciate it.

SHINRA

The main character, and while his grocery list of special abilities and “chosen one” kinda shit is annoying, he starts of as a very strong introspective of the weight of your actions vs the impression you give of in the eyes of society. The easiest way to describe it is through the very obvious identity struggle he goes through of wanting to be known as a “Hero” but instead being “The Devil”. All Shinra ever does is selflessly save peoples lives and put himself at extreme risk, he tells everyone and their grandma that they can call on him when they need a hero, and yet his visuals consist of a dark haired punk who constantly smiles a sharp toothy smile, his ability that he uses to fly in and do kamen rider kicks with spews fire from his feet in the shape of pointy wings, and this fire puts a heavy shadow over his face, giving him a monsterous siloutte. It’s not at all subtle that he just looks as evil and menacing as possible, and so his reputation is constantly negative no matter how kind he is. It’s not explored all that deeply but it is still a strong contrast.

ARTHUR

What a fucking idiot. What an absolute buffoon. This stupid fuck functions as a very simple gag character by being nearly too dumb to function and living in a made up reality as a fantasy knight, but is also able to exist as one of the strongest characters in combat. His ridiculous power is handled in a much more engaging way than Shinra’s. As instead of layering multiple chosen one abilities on him, he becomes weaker or stronger depending on his suspension of disbelief. The more in character as a powerful knight he becomes, the stronger he is. It’s a clean way to make a funny delusional characters struggle actually mean something to the people around them, instead of being left to his own devices or constantly told to fuck off. And while I said the plot isn’t very good, the smaller character beats can be very powerful. For example, It was already pretty easy to just accept Arthur as he was, but his family situation is explored late into the manga, and it’s shown that he began to live in fantasy to escape from his families arguments and poor living conditions. His parents take advantage of his disconnect and abandon their home with him in it, leaving all their responsibilities to him with a note saying he’s now the king and has inherited their castle. This pushes him to an even more absurd degree of fantasy in order to just live out his life knowing he was unloved and unwanted. It very understated how you can make a character that’s mostly used for jokes still be very easy to connect to and empathize.

TAMAKI

This one is likely to be the hottest take made from me here today, but this is the most interesting character in this series for a variety of reasons.

Visuals out of the way, the fire fighter outfits everyone wears already look cool as shit and big puffy coats just get me goin, this girl absolutely rocks it on top of having twintails and a cute face. That’s not objective in anyway this is just a character designed to bait specifically me and its fucking working, okay? The writing is the actually interesting part.

So something that’s usually not even worth talking about is fan service. Show of a girls titties cus its what dudes in their teens want to see, its free (You)s for shounen manga, and soul eater was full of it. It was pretty bad in soul eater and could come at jarring and unneeded times for characters that didn’t seem to exist for any sexual reasons. It was a very poor way to include fan service.

Fire Force also begins in a similar spot, the 3 main girls that are around in the beginning chapters are occasionally seen changing or in a bath or covered in water or whatever, with one particularly bad spread of them with the classic no nipple no vagina bodies all standing together in a shower. Its awkward and stiff and even as a fan of anime tiddie it just wasn’t worth having.

But then that wildman just does it. He creates one single character to put literally every single ounce of horny energy in to. A character who exists to fall over and get her tits pushed into someones face, but pushed to a cartoonish extreme. It sounds silly to try to pass off fanservice as funny, but it is. It’s so ridiculously intended and impossible and always varied that its actually fun to see her do something stupid and for something to happen. Sometimes its just her ass landing on a dudes face (god i wish that were me) or her body being exposed and drawn in pretty high detail. Sometimes instead they get an entire dude stuck in her shirt after just tripping in a way that is not not being sexual to the reader at all since you see absolutely no skin. She’s simply destined to be put into lewd situations in universe, not in regards to the manga itself. For an example, here she is just standing completely still, and suddenly becoming naked, drawn in a distant, goofy way:

It’s stupid. It’s definitely still fan service, but it’s just ridiculous. And that’s way more interesting than having every girl in your series randomly get naked at some point. Despite being insane it still works on boys, as Tamaki is the most popular girl in the series by far, ranked as the second most popular character consistently.

Tamaki also leads to the single best chapter of the manga where a horribly designed throw-away assassin who was beaten by her returns for revenge, but just ends up as a short, self contained, well paced comedic story of love.

And guess what, she’s still interesting outside of being funny and having fan service. Her cartoonish luck is essentially treated as her actual power, and her fire cat abilities aren’t explored too deeply during most of the series, but this is done for a greater purpose of essentially spitting in the face of high stakes. Tamaki easily witnesses the most deaths in the series, and most of them are cruel and unusual. She witnesses children being killed by a man who inspired her, she sees people she just met be beheaded in some gruesome shots that aren’t anywhere else in the series, and she gets involved in all sorts of life threatening situations. She still just falls over and gets naked. She’ll have fairly serious fights where she tries her hardest or the people around her are completely serious, and without bringing any direct attention to it she still ends up showing skin. There’s a point where every single character is at risk of dying at once to a trap set by the enemy, and Tamaki quietly laments over how she’ll be the only one to survive. She is completely aware of her ridiculous luck and her complete immunity to stakes, which is honestly just great.

Even beyond that, Tamaki is slowly being built up as more and more of an actual character, she has a short backstory section where her own hard work and effort is basically ignored by everyone around her, as if her success in life is only a result of her good luck, which is a feeling that hits very close to home to me (fuck you if you’ve ever discredited someones hard work because they’re “””””talented””””). And in the most recent couple of chapters, shes made an active effort to train alongside Shinra and Arthur, who both value the improvements they can make to themselves through hard work. No other characters in the cast make conscious efforts to improve from their status in the way Tamaki does. She moves up from a joke character to now trying to stand along side the main character as a useful and though out character. It’s a genuinely wonderful character to have been developed and the best thing I’ve gotten from this author.

VISUALS AND COMPOSITION

Okay enough about the characters, the last little thing I wanna touch on is just some of the absolutely bonkers kinds of compositions in this manga. One of the villains has an ability that is explained incredibly poorly. Pretty sure it’s just a time slowing ability that has nothing to do with fire but whatever. The pages where he uses the ability have this absolutely sick warped look to them that plays with the panels in a way that couldn’t be depicted in any other medium. Just look at this shit.

Every panel has a different background and yet still describes a single cut in time. It might not really mean anything, but that’s fucking sick dude.

Another pretty interesting one is this one kid named Nataku, who has an ability forced onto him by a maniac with a motif of stars for eyes, who dies immediately after. This event is shown to have absolutely traumatized him not because its directly said, but because this dead character appears constantly in panels with this kid, sometimes taking up the entire background to yell at him, or being an almost impossible to see spec lingering behind him. Nataku is also drawn in this strange sketchy style where he seems to be melting, and sometimes melds into shapes that resemble this dead character, such Nataku’s mouth becoming the fucking eyeball of the dead guy, star pupil and everything. It’s just such a specific and horrific way to depict that kind of identity trauma and it really stuck out to me.

I’LL SHUT UP NOW

And ye that’s about it. It was a lot of rambling and there are still lots of little things i like about the manga, good designs and cool fights and stuff but i just wanted to talk about the things that were really noteworthy to me.

It’s been a long time since I’ve spent 4 hours just typing about stuff but if you actually read any of this, on this dead website of all places, you’re cool. Hope you found something interesting too.

#Fire Force #juvenile rant

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jastersmohnson · 5 years ago

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Rewatching Masters of Sex: Volume 5

Season 2 Episodes 9-12

"Story of My Life" is easily the weakest episode from the second half of season two. Shockingly, this is an Amy Lippman episode, and probably the most understated episode from her entire catalogue. That said, this episode was more enjoyable than some of the mid-season episodes of season one (I'm looking at you, "Love and Marriage"!), if only because my eyes are still adjusting to the new setting of the clinic.

I don't think I can add anything insightful regarding "Story of My Life", or "Below the Belt", for that matter. They're both fairly by-the-numbers, technical episodes, focusing on Bill's impotence, Lester's impotence, Barbara's vaginismus, Libby's increased involvement working with CORE, Austin being sexually harassed... the only aspect of this episode that felt unique and engrossing was storyline regarding Bill and his brother, which culminated with a truly spectacular fight between the two, in what is one of the best scenes of the episode. And afterwards, we get a powerful scene wherein Bill and Virginia regroup after the fight. It's a three minute scene with hardly any dialogue. The last ten minutes of this episode alone bumped "Below the Belt" up from a B or a B+ to an A- or A territory.

The stagnation of episodes nine and ten is primarily what makes "One for the Money, Two for the Show" feel like a breath of fresh air, which, in itself, is not an episode that moves many pieces forward--Lester and Barbara don't make an appearance together, and Bill's impotence is only lightly discussed. The episode is more a detour, and a much needed one. Episode eleven is an episode I enjoyed a lot more than I remembered. I'd now say that it's one of the strongest episodes of the second season. I like "Asterion" and "Fight" more, but I might put "One for the Money, Two for the Show" in third place. And, surprise surprise, it's an Amy Lippman episode. Jeez, the third one this season? Somebody get this woman a book deal!

Lester annoyed the hell out of me in this episode. Now, I hate the FCC and censorship as much as the next person. If it were up to me, every kid would be required to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a requirement to pass fourth grade. However, his tirade towards Bill in the bathroom about "censorship" this episode was somewhat irritating.

From what I gathered, the CBS presentation in question wasn't a piece on Masters and Johnson's specific discoveries. It seemed to be more a general piece on the researchers themselves and that this kind of work is being done. With the exception of the technical terms that they weren't allowed to say on camera (which was stupid), I think that a lot of CBS's demands in this episode were totally acceptable. Using Lester's footage to splice together some B-roll or using actors to re-enact an intake, I think that Bill (and especially Lester) were blowing it a little out of proportion.

As far as Masters of Sex finales go, "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised" is probably my least favorite. I guess, more than anything, season two has been two half-seasons stitched together. Both "Blackbird" and "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised" function well as understated mid-season finales. But episode twelve doesn't really offer that satisfying punch that "Manhigh" or the seasons three and four finale did to send us off into hiatus.

I'm not sure if Michelle Ashford and co. knew how much time they would be jumping for season three when they wrote this finale, because an awful lot of the Kaufman-feud was left unresolved. He beat Masters and Johnson to the punch! And he's never mentioned again in the entire series... What?! See, I understand Michelle Ashford needed the writers to move through time, and a time jump in between seasons is probably the best place to do that.

However, I've been developing my own theories as of late, and I'm kind of curious as to how Masters of Sex would've been if the series had ended in 1966 with their book being published. If they spent four seasons spanning 1956-1966, with the entire series cataloguing Masters and Johnson's journey to their first publication. I don't know whether or not this would've worked, but it certainly wouldn't have allowed for confusing time jumps. The story would have flown more naturally, and allowed seasons three and four to focus more extensively on their treatment of sexual dysfunctions.

That's one thing that I think was undermined by this time jump. At the end of season two, Masters and Johnson are just drafting their techniques to treat sexual dysfunction, and at the start of season three, they're already acting as counselors? Think about how much more enriching the story could have been if they were able to cover 1961-1966 in seasons three and four.

Not only that, but think about what events could have been interwoven into the story. The Cuban Missile Crisis. The Kennedy assassination. The Civil Rights Act of 1964. Meanwhile, what was going on in 1966-67, when the actual season three took place? Um... I think Star Trek premiered? And uh... I guess 1966 was an election year. A midterm election year, but still...

Now, we wouldn't have been able to see Bill and Virginia get married, but I think extra scenes at the Park Chancery could've been a fine substitute. And maybe end the entire show with Bill admitting he loves Virginia. Leave all that unpleasantness with Dan Logan out.

But that being said, Masters of Sex already aired and there's now point in speculating what could've been different. Especially since I'm not a writer and would've had no influence on the third season of Masters of Sex. Spending four paragraphs detailing the alternate path a show could've taken is as dumb an idea as extensively detailing rewatching a show that's been off the air for three years. What kind of stupid idiot would do that??

Good lord, I haven't even talked about the season two finale itself yet. I talked endlessly about the time jump when that's more at fault of the third season. In hindsight, I can kind of appreciate how understated this finale is. I guess the odd numbered Masters of Sex finales (one and three) tend to be extravagant dramatic outings, while the even numbered Masters of Sex finales (two and four) seem to be more quiet and understated.

This season two finale isn't nearly as good as the episode that preceded it, but it still does a fine job at wrapping up the season. Yep, that's all you're getting for this episode. What more do you want? I mean, Libby's still working at CORE at the end of this episode. Lester and Barbara are still having relationship problems. Austin is still doing it with Flo. Bill still hasn't spoken to his brother. So much of this episode is left open-ended, and ultimately unresolved since none of these subplots are ever mentioned again.

I guess Bill's impotence was brought to it's conclusion. They really seemed to want to get that out of the way in the beginning of the episode as quick as possible. I mean, okay, I guess. I sound pretty harsh on this episode, but the truth is I enjoyed it. I remember, when the episode first aired, I declared it my favorite Masters of Sex episode ever. Oh how the times have changed. But it's still a really good episode! I'd say it perfectly encapsulates everything that has been both good and bad about the second half of this season.

Well, friends, after that horribly bleak season premiere, we finish season two in a relatively lighter place. As I mentioned before, hardly anything's resolved, and some characters are still miserable and stuck in unsatisfying relationships, but hope is on the way! Kennedy is on the way! And I can't wait to see what antics that lovable JFK is up to when we start season three.

Story of My Life: B+

Below the Belt: A-

One for the Money, Two for the Show: A

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised: A-

Appendix - 10/24/2019: I’ll be taking a bit of a break in between seasons two and three. I plan on finishing watching HBO’s Succession, with which I have about twelve more episodes to go. And then I’ll be out of town, so the next Rewatching Masters of Sex will be sometime in November. Sorry, one person.

#Masters of Sex #Story of My Life #Below the Belt #One for the Money Two for the Show #The Revolution Will Not Be Televised #Season 2 #Rewatching Masters of Sex #Michael Sheen #Lizzy Caplan

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amazonpoodle · 6 years ago

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all right it’s my turn to express my feelings about the magicians finale

what had happened was, the week of the finale was NOT A GOOD WEEK for me to watch something that would upset me that much, so on the recommendation of multiple friends i had people spoil me for the episode, for mental health reasons. i’ve read a bunch of meta and yelled in public and in private, and finally actually watched the episode this past saturday.

in conclusion, i think the thing that plain frustrates me the most is that THERE WERE GOOD BITS! there were really interesting lovely bits! which were almost completely mangled by the egregiously bad bits!

i don’t know if i have anything to say that you haven’t already read or heard from other people who are more active in the fandom, possibly more eloquent, and probably used capital letters, but here we are!!! oh well!!!

okay first i don’t even know what the fuck to say about julia. every! single! season! so far! has involved depriving her of a REALLY MAJOR CHOICE about her life or her magic or her autonomy or her fucking BODY like! what! why!

i am not clear on why we couldn’t just WAKE HER UP and ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTED, so like -- if the show explained that they didn’t explain it well enough, and if they didn’t FUCK THEM tbh.

second, one of my most significant grievances with the show as a whole is I DON’T CARE ABOUT JOSH HOBERMAN. i don’t!!! care!!! to me he is everything i hated about dawn summers and jonathan levinson COMBINED into one boring gary stu, like. what the fuck is josh/margo? why am i HERE? sure, people of disparate hotnesses can hook up and fall in love, but i know whose fantasy josh/margo is and it’s for sure not margo’s. anyway, now i’m mainly just mad at JOSH THE FISH for sidelining margo in the previous episode. although her eye does just keep getting awesomer and awesomer.

now, the real meat of the thing. the death of q. i’m gonna say something, and you might not like it, and we’ll all just have to figure out how to handle that:

out of context, I’M NOT MAD ABOUT QUENTIN’S DEATH.

like... if the whole thing had been done right? if jason’s exit from the show hadn’t been a secret for no fucking reason? if time and consideration had been given to multiple quentin storylines in a way that made sense? i would be okay with how quentin died. (not what came after. i’ll get to that.)

i kind of have the feeling that all the people involved in writing q’s death were just. trying to recreate buffy’s death from the s5 finale but like, newer and shinier? and hey, i grew up in buffy fandom, the gift was DEVASTATING and beautiful and SHOCKING, i’m not mad that someone would want to create something like that!

and credit where it’s due -- the moment of quentin’s death was, imho, really, really lovely. like. understated, in the eerie quiet greyscale of the mirror world. q didn’t yell, he spoke, quietly, “minor mending” -- the subtle color of the seam within the mirror, the light healing the cobwebbed cracks in the glass, the shower of sparks, just. it was a lot. visually i thought it was incredibly moving and effective. it for sure made me cry. and i don’t know exactly what i was expecting, but. IGNORING THE STUFF THAT CAME AFTER, quentin’s death did not read, to me, as a(n excuse for) suicide or a waste. it seemed, to me, to be brave and sad and necessary.

storywise -- and again, for now, putting a pin in the crap that came after -- quentin’s death would have been WAY! MORE! IMPACTFUL! if we’d gotten any goddamn lead-up about his discipline. it was BAD WRITING to make us wait until mid-s4 to tell us what his discipline was. it was BAD WRITING to only let us see him mend, in that particular way, one (1) model airplane and one (1) mug. like???? HELLO???? WHAT???? in a just world, the showrunners would have been laying the groundwork for q’s discipline reveal since, like, the start of s3. they should have shown him repairing things, regularly, ALL ALONG, and everybody thinking it’s no big deal. FIFTY YEARS IN FILLORY, he never had to fix a broken window or re-hang a door or darn a sock? the revelation of “repair of small objects” should have felt like an explosion of OF FUCKING COURSE. we should have been able to spend time with quentin while he came to grips with how small that felt to him, we should have gotten to see him looking for things to repair, to practice, on purpose! we should have gotten to see him attempt to mend something that was too big for him!

and the biggest thing of all, that makes me tear the fuck up every time i think about it too hard, is that REPAIR OF SMALL OBJECTS or MINOR MENDING is honestly the most exquisite, most appropriate discipline for someone suffering from significant depression and anxiety. SPEAKING AS A PERSON WHO’S BEEN DEALING WITH DEPRESSION FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, OKAY, dealing with mental illness is best done in small steps, with small gestures, with small requests for help. you can’t fix your entire life in one fell heroic swoop. trying to do all the things at once, perfectly, without getting messy, without dealing with little details, is a fucking TRAP. it can’t be done. that’s not how you live. you’re never DONE.

it makes 100% perfect sense that quentin coldwater, who has always wanted to be a hero, keeps learning, over and over again, that sometimes (usually!) his role is SUPPORT. to get someone else to the finish line. THE HARDEST THING IN THIS WORLD IS TO LIVE IN IT. minor!!! mending!!!

fuck.

okay.

now we address quentin AFTER his death. we stuck a pin in it, let’s take it out so we can really SCREAM, eh?

sigh. i’m not mad that quentin asked the question. “what did i do? did i finally find a way to kill myself?” like. you’ve been dealing with suicidal ideation all your life, you’re allowed to wonder, honey! that’s okay!

WHAT PISSES ME OFF IS THE ANSWER. or the non-answer. whatever. this whole thing was handled so goddamn hamfistedly, like. again -- why. also -- and perhaps this is nitpicky of me, but -- this is the office of secrets taken to the grave, right? this isn’t the time for quentin to ask questions or get answers himself, it’s time for him to answer them! to confess things he hasn’t told anybody! penny-40, i love you the best, but i feel like you’re not doing your job!

other people have said more about this than i will, more thoughtfully, but basically i thought quentin watching his own funeral was bullshit. the whole thing sucked. the only part that didn’t suck was eliot and alice holding hands. oh, and julia’s revelation afterward. why should it be more meaningful to watch people mourn you than to have people tell you, to your face, when you’re alive, that you are loved and important and interesting and life-changing?

let’s fucking avoid fantasizing how appreciated we’ll be when we’re gone, shall we? that’s really the main thing.

i’m running out of steam, clearly. that was mostly everything. i also agree with the people who’ve said that, in retrospect, the writers thought that escape from the happy place was a story JUST about eliot, not about eliot AND QUENTIN. the writers were wrong! they didn’t know what story they were telling! but that perspective explains a LOT.

i don’t really know what i’m going to do next season. probably i’m not going to watch? i truly didn’t realize how serious my depressed bisexual disaster self had imprinted on depressed bisexual disaster quentin coldwater until. you know. they killed him. but i am interested in the fix-its -- and imho this finale (this whole season) lends itself very easily to being fixed. so i think, despite the fuckery of canon, i’m not done with the fandom.

if you’ve read this far thanks for sticking around this long??? er. that’s all.

#the magicians #the magicians spoilers #meta #quentin coldwater #repair of small objects #minor mending #depression #mental health #i cannot believe my first original post in like three years is about the magicians #but here we are i guess

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