#i can never sleep again bc i was informed that my grandfather is on the order list for one

[ficklesprite]

YET AGAIN I AM BEING PLAGUED BY THE TESLA CYBER TRUCK.

This time was somehow so much freakier than last time I saw one.

I was peacefully driving through town at night as one does, when it happened. I approached an intersection expecting the usual nighttime drivers of the token prius or Ford fiesta, but what I got was so much worse.

Sitting at that fateful intersection was the most horrifying alien looking beast of a "truck" that has ever existed. I let out an audible scream at the sight of it, because I was sure that this was the end-- that elon had finally come for me.

I tried to desperately escape the foul thing by turning to evade it on another street, but much to my dismay, the horrid creature followed after me- led light bar ablaze and low-poly form lumbering after me.

The 5 minutes that it was behind me were some of the most terrifying of my life.

I cannot describe the abject horror of having this creature behind me. Every time it got even a bit to close, I was sure it would be the end of me.

Needless to say, these lithium bomb freak mobiles should not be let out at night.

For reference, this is what it looked like:

(Image gleefully stolen off of Google images)

[kakyoinryoko]

i have a  very specific and very stupid vision in my head for how kakyoin being there for part 4 would go which i will probably never write so instead i will make a very long post about it right now

the plot is largely identical but the differences start out w joseph calling kakyoin and being like “well there is probably another stand user in japan right now just so you know. in morioh. just so you are aware. okay. goodbye” but he forgets to mention anything about his illegitimate son or that jotaro will be there or anything he only talks about the possible evil stand user. and kakyoin is like “keh this is not my business. i have had enough of seeking out stand users. -_- also i will now be taking a little spring vacation in morioh but this is not related and i do not want to see any other stand users.”

so he goes there and arrives on the same day as jotaro and they are staying in the same hotel but they don’t meet at all. jotaro’s first meeting with josuke goes the same way, but kakyoin meets josuke at the convenience store that evening while it’s being robbed. he sends hierophant down the uhh storm drain thing that aqua necklace escapes through but he gets away so hierophant just comes back right away. but josuke sees that and kakyoin also saw crazy diamond obviously so as soon as josuke is done getting harassed by the police for confronting a guy holding a woman hostage and whatnot they link up and exchange the information they have abt what just happened, which is pretty minimal

and at this point the story relies on the fact that josuke does a really awful job of describing jotaro and kakyoin to each other so its like. “oh uhh yeah i basically JUST found out what stands are from my nephew. like earlier today. and also that i have a nephew. it’s been a little crazy” “i see. well, what’s the deal with him, then? you’re young, so he must be a little kid.” “oh nah my family’s kinda messed up. my sister who i’ve never met is actually way older than me and my nephew is like 30 or something” “oh. what’s he like?” “umm... tall? really tall... he has a hat. seems mostly well-meaning but kind of serious. and he’s a stand user” and kakyoin (instantly suspicious) is like “right... so what’s his stand like?” and josuke is like “uh... big... pink and blue. strong. it has.. hair? i think he can use it to teleport or something.” and kakyoin is like well star platinum can’t teleport and he’s purple so it’s no issue :+) bc he doesn’t know about the world or that splatinum has had a change in appearance.

and then when they’re on the phone in the morning josuke mentions to jotaro that he found another guy who he asked for help and jotaro is like “you can’t just trust random stand users josuke :/ what was he like” and josuke is like “oh he seemed fine though.... well kind of weird. like i trust him but he also seemed strange i can’t put my finger on it.” and jotaro (extremely tired) is like “and you’re sure you can trust this guy.” and josuke is like “yeah well he said he’s fought a lot of evil stand users before... and also that he can possess people like aqua necklace did except his stand is like.... made of snakes or something” (he only saw hierophant unraveled) and jotaro is like “sure. whats this guy look like i wanna know what i should be looking for if we ever run into each other” bc hes like umm okay well that stand sounds like. um. and josuke is like “i don’t know he’s just like, a guy. he was wearing a jacket and his hair was brown” and jotaro’s like “that’s all?” and josuke is like “yeah i guess”

so after these interactions kakyoin leaves the conversation like “well plenty of people are tall and wear hats. that stand certainly didn’t sound like star platinum so i have nothing to worry about.” and similarly jotaro is like “well josuke didn’t mention his facial scars or that his eyes are purple or that he’s a wheelchair user or anything so it definitely can’t be kakyoin.”

but then the morning that josuke’s grandfather dies he’s told them both to meet him at his house and jotaro gets there first and is the one to open the door when kakyoin arrives and they make eye contact and they’re both completely fucking horrified and an abba song starts playing in jotaro’s head (waterloo) and another different abba song starts playing in kakyoin’s head (mamma mia) but kakyoin is still extremely severely lethally pissed off at jotaro for ghosting him for a decade so most of the rest of the part that involves the two of them being in the same room is just extremely tense and awkward and every time jotaro very weakly tries to get kakyoin to open up to him again and rekindle their friendship kakyoin is like “i would say you’re a stupid son of a bitch but i would never insult holly-san like that just because you’re such an utter disappointment of a man. you are the worst person i’ve ever met and if you died i would laugh and clap. i can’t wait for you to go to hell. fuck you.” but then jotaro does almost die that one time and kakyoin does not laugh or clap :/

and well i guess eventually after that there’s some sort of reconciliation. and also at some point kakyoin runs out of funds for renting his own hotel room because he’s not being funded by the speedwagon foundation to do so and hotels are expensive so he just moves into jotaro’s room and forces him to sleep on the couch. you get the picture

also there’s a scene where josuke and okuyasu and yukako are all hanging out (Without Koichi) chatting at the outdoor seating of that cafe or something maybe. and josuke is like “man what is it with kakyoin-san and jotaro-san? kakyoin-san really hates him and i can’t figure out why” because neither of them thought to mention to josuke that their meeting at his house was not the first time they ever met, like, as far as any of the kids know they do not know each other from anywhere else. and yukako is like “well jotaro is divorced. so obviously kakyoin is his ex husband.” and okuyasu is like “what? no way.... jotaro-san was never married...” and josuke is like “yeah come on yukako where did you hear that from :/” and yukako is like “he is. he told koichi. he has a kid and everything. and the tension between him and kakyoin is obviously beyond that of two strangers who don’t get along. you boys really should be more observant about these things.” and they’re like “but jotaro-san isn’t gay.... right??” (they also still think they themselves are straight at this point) and yukako’s like “are you fucking serious” and it takes a while but eventually she does have them fully convinced that kakyoin and jotaro used to be married and are now divorced even though they never even actually dated

that’s it

[mxvladdy]

I can't stress enough 'wows' in tve way you write along with the fact that it's you first few posts (i think? Pls correct me) can you do luci mammon and satan with a reader who takes naps bc of overthinking? They just tug their sleeves and shot them a tired look, while looking down shying away. Also, have a nice day and take the time to be yourself!

Aw thanks fam! I am fairly new to posting my works, I tried twice before this with two different writing blogs but I deleted them both bc I felt discouraged. I’m older now and I feel a lot better about my writing, so third time the charm and all that lol! I’m so glad you like my writing! I know I need some work on grammar and expanding my vocabulary.  

This was a super cute prompt ;.; I hope I did it justice!

Lucifer

He is a mix of jealous and pissed. He wishes he could fall asleep so easily when he gets inundated with too many things at once. But also- just don’t do that? Where were your manners?

He starts noticing your little peculiarity in class. Specifically that you tend to nod off in advance alchemy and rune scripting. You were being so studious, jotting down notes, ask great questions. Next thing he knows you're out like a light.

He is shocked for a moment before he will wake you up. Your wide doe-eyed frown does nothing to him. JK his hearts clench at your wounded look.

He makes the other brothers report to him about your behavior and odd sleep habit. Were you ill? Was this just something humans did? Devils, was Belphie rubbing off on you?

They all say the same thing. One moment you are working hard or talking to them about a topic you are passionate about, and the next you are yawning hard enough to pop your jaw and shyly asking to lay down.

Well-he can’t have that.

If you are going to fall asleep around anyone it’s going to be him.

He sets up remedial lessons with you after dinner to make up for the work slept through. You sit by him at his long ornate desk while he tutors you on what you missed.

You weren't having any problems,  you even finished a few pages. He is proud and then-

“I can almost hear those gears slowing my dear.” Lucifer interrupts himself mid-explanation of Zosimos of Panopolis and Maria the Prophetess's theories of alchemy in human medicine.

You jerk awake and turn to him blinking owlishly. "Yeah, I just need to lay down." You admit.

Lucifer eyes you critically. This was sudden, were you ill? You had been fine moments ago, bright-eyed and enthusiastic. He cups your face, turning it from side to side. "So suddenly? We haven't even discussed the properties of mercury yet." You hum letting your eyes droop. He was always so warm.

"Hour nap break? Please?" His stern gaze softens at how your nose scrunches up cutely as you yawn.

“Very well.” He relents letting you slick over to his couch. You flop over face first with a grunt of satisfaction. You toss and turn for a while, moving his pillows around unsatisfied.

“Luci-” You call in defeat. He ignores you at first. If you wanted to nap fine, he would get some work done in the meantime. “Luci~” You say again. You could see his brow twitching. “Lu-”

“My dear,” He shoots you a withering look. “You are treading a thin line. If you have the energy to call for me you have the energy to study.” You say nothing at his brisk tone, instead of opening your arms to him to join you. “You tempt me.” He purrs hiding his smile behind his paperwork.

“Learned from the best.” Lucifer shakes his head laughing at your smug reply. He glances over you to his grandfather clock. Hmmm-perhaps he could spare a few minutes. He rises elegantly discarding his tie and waistcoat to his abandoned chair. Running a hand through his hair he snorts at your little whistle.

“Move.” He commands. You shake your head patting your belly. “I will crush you.” He laughs but lays over you regardless.

“Good-you’re warm.” You say muffled in his shirt. Wrapping your arms around his middle you drift off. Lucifer holds you close, running a still gloved hand up and down your side. Perhaps he should bring out some more complex topics next time. If this was the outcome-

Mammon

He noticed you get drowsy before in class. Your cute little head jerks as you nod off, hands rubbing at your face as you fight to stay awake before giving in to the need to sleep. It was adorable- not that he was watching you because of that! He was just doing his job of looking out for you

Ye-that was all.

Honestly, he thought you were just like him. He never cared for the books being forced on him in class. Boring useless crap in his opinion. He much rather sleep through a lecture on stats too.

Now books on photography? That's where it's at. He has a legitimate passion for it.

He likes being behind the camera just as much as he likes being in front of it. Though he doesn't snap photos often.

He doesn't need more beratement from his brothers than he already gets. Sides, he just feels like they would look down at this like everything else he does.

He'll share his hobby with you though. You at least seem interested in it. He'll show you his collection of vintage to high-tech cameras and talk your ear off about the makes, models, and features.

You nod along and ask questions from time to time, smiling along with Mammon while he prattles on about color theory next to you on the floor.

He was just getting to Auguste Lumiére when he feels a gentle bump on his shoulder.

"O-oi!" Mammon starts, shaking his shoulder to rouse you. You look up at him, blinking the sleep from your eyes. "Was...was I that boring?" He deflates a little, all previous excitement gone in a flash. You had seemed so interested...

"What? Oh, no. No Mammon I'm sorry. It's really all fascinating," You grab for his sleeve so he couldn't run away. "It was just a lot of information all at once. I just got a bit overwhelmed."

"So you fall asleep?" He raises a brow not believing you for a second. Who falls asleep when something is interesting? He'll admit he's fallen asleep while listening to Levi talk about a new anime or Asmo with a make-up release.  But that's because it had been boring. "Is that like a human thing?"

You shrug snuggling closer. "I don't know- but it's a me thing. Give me five? I'd love to hear you talk more about your collection, promise."

Mammon glows scarlet at your words. "Of course you do!" He puffs out his chest excitedly. “I got great taste.” You nod into his shirt before drifting off again. He tilts his head slightly to look at you chuckling internally when your breathing and heartbeat slow down. Damn, out in seconds. Well, better get comfortable.

Uncrossing his long legs he picks up the camera he had been showing you. The old Polaroid lens reflects his face back at him. He remembered the day Land had debuted this marvel of engineering. He just had had to get his hands on one. It was useless now, he had much better quality cameras than this old thing, but he remembered you reminiscing about your human friends and their portable camera. Would you take some pictures with him too? He would take one now, but the sound of the flash would definitely wake you up.

He fiddles with it for a few more minutes, opening and closing the film canister and checking for any parts that needed fixing as he waits. You stir at his side a few minutes later with a little mew of satisfaction. Mammon hears your joints creak and pop as you stretch. "Morning." He says sarcastically, earning himself a light punch to his shoulder. "Ready to continue?"

You nod eagerly, perky and aware. At least for the moment.

Satan

He didn't really notice at first the pattern of your behavior.

You would come over for book club. Which was really just him reading his current novel and you picking something at random to gain a little random knowledge.

You would find a comfortable position on his bed, curl up nice and small and read. Then after a bit yawn and start to snooze.

He first thought it was the atmosphere of his room. It was quiet, warm, and the sound of flickering candles and the rustle of paper sometimes caused him to doze too.

But when it starts happening outside of class he notices.

Hmmm….this is new.

He looks it up in his human anatomy books and finds nothing.

He's not particularly worried about you per se. You always bounce back quickly after a quick snooze.

Then you start dozing when he is talking… >:(

Like his brother/dad he is a little miffed at first but then your behavior reminds him a cat and he loves you 10x harder now

Satan stops in his pacing of the back gardens. His book of poetry hanging limply in his hand. He had been reciting some of the most fascinating lines of work from Lord Byron's later works and wanted a human's perspective. He had thought you were interested. You never complained before when he asked you out here. Perhaps you were just being polite all those times before. Anything to soothe wrath. He snaps his book shut sharply, take some perverse satisfaction in the way you start out of your light sleep at the noise.

"Why'd you stop?" You ask wiping at your face.

"No point talking to someone that doesn't wish to listen." He snaps tersely.

"Oh-Satan, no I was listening. It...it just got to be so much so fast." You flush. “You had some great points going, I just needed a minute.” He watches your eyes grow heavy again, and it dawns on him.

"Do you just sleep when overwhelmed?" He asks incredulously. In all his years with humans, this was new. You shrug making grabby hands for him to move closer. He scoffs but moves into your space. You grab at the hem of his shirt and pull him down to sit next to you. He goes willingly getting comfortable by your side. You eye his lap longingly, hands clutching around his coat sleeve. “Fine-” He rolls his eyes. “Come here you odd thing.” You smile in triumph and crawl into his lap. Once settled you nuzzle into his warm chest.

“Wake me up in ten? I want to hear more about your conversations with Byron.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” He kisses the top of your forehead, opening his book to read again with one hand. You hum at his soft kiss, returning it sleepily with one of your own before passing out again. Ten minutes go by in an instant and Satan looks down at your peaceful face. He smiles to himself, perhaps he’ll let you sleep for a little while longer. You’d need it for his next point.  

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Two: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 1-5

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Three | TaT)

Contents: Me losing my mind in multiple ways each chapter, helpful links, nighttime garden cousins, an Irene pun, notes from my second read, “mwt is just like going for it,” and “this is so fucked up and heartwarming.”

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Volume 2

Illustration

Book 2 bro

Now we’re caught up and changed forever by lots of things

What printer’s apprentice made this?

Elephants!

Chapter 1

175. me too, Costis, me too. I am so tired. (it’s hard to sleep when your brain and heart and everything are fizzing because you’re reading Return of the Thief for the first time and a new Queen’s Thief book for the last time) 

176. Klimun + Gerosthenes vibes [moon doodle]

Holes in documents. That’s cute

Gen!!! <3

Wtf Ansel was hoodwinked!

177. The Queen waited

They’re ridiculous

Hi Pheris

Wtf he stole her earrings for Melheret?!?

178. Excuse me??? What is this book (sleeveless leather tunic)

He still roams!!!

Tattoos!

179. a sentence I never fucking expected to read ever “The absence of tattoos…”

180. that’s interesting

Stacked like kindling wow oh dear

181. She wants him to move in lol

Lol sorry Ion

Did she just want them to leave the room?

182. I can’t with this… I can’t. Why is sex symbol Relius canon. (the play that featured him! It’s great, it’s great, it was just a lot to take in!)

Silver crown?

183. Cleon! Rude!

Did they call Costis to deck him?

Queen scene!! <3

184. This is an epic. Abt Costis. Dirty stranger

185. he’s “the high king”

Lol

187. prophet (Pheris sure makes Costis sound like one)

Shut up Piloxides

188. resources for war! (book launch foreshadowing part two! She talked a lot about this kind of thing as well, and recommended the book Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army)

189. “we”

What were you gonna say (Gen almost says something to Costis part one)

193. RIP The Magus Archives … it was not to be. Yet.

194. Melenze’s doorstep. Why? Bc Melenze is Ferria’s dog. (idk dude that line from ACoK has just never left me)

195. This is … a big war

196. Oh gen

Nighttime garden cousins.

Chapter 2

197. wtf did Relius think of that play

Also … not a peep from the sacred mountain huh

198. wtf will happen with Cleon

with Erondites

with THE MOUNTAIN

a lot going on

everyone was in that room but Kamet! So close!

199. Cute Fordad + Gen friendship (I never said these notes would make me look smart)

Same 2 T + R! :) It’s not them is it? (I NEVER SAID THESE NOTES WOULD MAKE ME LOOK SMART)

Poor Teleus

200. gdi Gen

Excuse me? Is he worried for Pheris??? (taking his tablet)

They trust each other! C’mon!

Sure he has reasons

202. oh dear. :( that’s … the worst cover story

Also falling

203. wow almost like a story huh

Ula’s altar :(

Why haven’t we had a Gen and Costis scene IN THREE BOOKS

205. I just … I don’t know if he’s just miserable or if it’s all a plan. I feel like I should know it’s all a plan. But he really feels like he has far to go. He’s just a mess and the same and so different. (having a small Gen meltdown)

205. he did give him the gun

Odd that he missed Quedue

206. he’s gonna bite them (buckle up! it’s abdication time!)

207. Power. Power. Power. Power.

Thx 4 the editorializing Pheris

208. Gen is making choices. That’s a choice.

209. There’s KoA down the drain

Aaaand he’s Eugenides

“Eugenides stared into the future”

The page of like 3 different tumblr posts: Trophy husband, Library, No! yes!

210. make sure he doesn’t leave lol

211. Pheris :(

Also fucked up timing for Irene

I love them

212. again with the birthday book

He’s still the king in the narration

Go on the roof! So close!

213. EUGENIDES IS ALWAYS APPROPRIATE my motto

Viper! Bastard!

Oh shit. I love them.

214. “our treaty” “our queen”

AAAH! Wedding night!

Asked her to leave!

Smash Erondites and peace out, literally

215. a frank talk

HE SAID IT.

216. The Bructs?

Wait is this his grandfather (taking a moment to remember all about Susa)

Also that’s Costis territory

217. who is this lion

218. #3 to Gen.

219. hmmm ring

There’s been a lot to unpack wow.

Did this happen, Pheris? Pheris?! 

220. Atté atté!

(Dear reader: for some strange reason, I completely forgot about taking notes on the final pages of this chapter. These notes are from when I reread those pages a few minutes later.)

Erondites full cup to brimming

The Pherises…

We must think of others before ourselves … occasionally

I do not like Orutus

Don’t fence Costis in! Does this count as prison? No (I had a square on my bingo board for “someone ends up in prison” ... but it turned out to be for someone else)

221. damn Costis

Aaah

Costis …

Irene… your jokes (I mean, it’s a joke, but also it is very real for her.)

SHE SAID IT!

My heart

222. where is Relius going?

SPYING

What you see and what you think it means (I love these instructions/this quote so much)

So are Susa + Erondites 2gether or what (listen ... proximity generates meaning in these books)

Also, like

What can

I say

WHAT CAN I SAY (Hell yeah! Never more glad to be wrong about the magus)

[page long list of doubles and parallels - from Cleons and Pherises and Ions to god-character and character-character connections]

Also the fact that in KoA and TaT Relius was like … oh … no … I just live a gentle life being friends with my king and queen and being scholarly. But no. He’s SPYING and TRAVELING MYSTERIOUSLY and has MANY LOVERS and also has been WITH TELEUS ALL ALONG and there is a PLAY written about him and he has a ~messenger~ network and PLAYS THE FLUTE and DOESN’T MAKE HIS BED and DISLIKES MATH and oh and he’s VERY HANDSOME! (Yes I was losing it, I hope my note from after the poem helps show some of the feelings behind this rant.)

Fucking … Wine shop. Should have known.

Chapter 3

224. ominous

Hello magus!

Sophos … babe (his impatience!)

225. Magus … cool your socks that’s your bff (he’s just describing Helen’s dead body! Fun!!!!)

In the van

That was good I love them

Why is it Couples Hour?

226. finally we’re out of the capital of Attolia

Ok they’re so cute

She was NEVER Helen in ACoK narration! 

Also – Pheris. This is all Pheris. (Pheris plus information others told him!)

227. Bringing each other up to date – that’s their thing. Talking forever

All this talk of shooting Therespides

228. EX FUCKING SCUSE ME (time to learn a lot about the country of Eddis)

He was 15! (or almost 15)

He didn’t know! Or did he!

The MoW!

All thru Pheris

Fuck you magus

When did he know

229. EXCUSE ME

The emeralds?

Assumed the worst?

That classic quote about little to do with winter but with “seducing other people’s lovers”

230. yeah Sophos that’s a lost cause (“spare me my blushes”)

Also she didn’t answer you

What are they laughing about (the generally nameless men we’re learning many things about this chapter)

233. Gen I think it’s fair to say that was a mistake

234. wtf Gen

GEN! he just. Had those. (the jewels!)

Her crown

I cannot

235. Gen!

237. Crash

Her CHANGES

238. THESE TWO

239. called annux

Yeah it’s like … a family meeting (the war council)

Bring your father to work day

241. Oh no.

Stenides! Boagus!!!!!!!

EDDIS!

Wolves! Lol

mwt is just like going for it

243. aww

Eddis > Boagus > Gen

244. Yeah I’m with her on this. (“if that doesn’t frighten you, it should”)

Chapter 4

245. Gen and Magus scene yes!

Two people affected by his long hair (Gen and the magus? I think?)

Pheris are you there?

Gen … you used to wish yourself out of existence

Wow

Hair vanity

Yeah also battlefield

Ion is a darling tbh

248. Is he. Is he going to fight all of them

Also they are all his cousins huh

AULUS! I liked you!

Same, Hilarion

Taking a page out of Costis’s book?

You have definitely seen it before. (I mistook his lie for truth!)

Will Costis hear about this? (please)

249. #4 to Gen!

Pheris where are you

Why doesn’t the Continent want to conquer them (do I get partial credit for this)

A tattoo!

250. “Do not offend the gods”

Honestly … too bad Helen DIDN’T do this

251. he said he’d give all he had

I’m sure there are rules

253. Just men? :( (let everybody fight him!)

Ornon is back! I mean, of course he is

Also yea they practice

HELLO ORNON

A house being built … or one knocked down. Nice

Is Teleus in on this?

254. Pheris called him my king!

255. I wanna know which guards though

:( he’d been faking

Kicked him in the head (ouch)

256. “when he fell”

I … don’t like this

He never gives up. The thieves don’t have limits. They have flash points.

Stepped on his hand

“Enough Gen” – what Irene said?

257. :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

The magus. I forgot he was there.

The magus said … nevermind …

The magus is probs very into this as a cultural thing. Also he was talking to the MoW

Pigeon. The sky. :( Like in TT (OH BOY, THE SKYYYY)

If there was a god, Pheris would see…

258. They’ve, they’ve been through a lot.

Oh god what’s next

259. I … no. not in his arms to the palace.

The palace where….

The stairs…

They are all 3 lookers. Basilisks and brass and lead

I hate this. But I love this.

I will someday see this differently.

Ah yes… the grunt. Approval.

260. Honestly, this is so fucked up and heartwarming. These books.

Lol don’t defend Hilarion, we know him

Eddis visits him.

Attolia watches him.

261.WTF Gen. I knew it. Why.

Crying or laughing? Crying? :(

How does this not undermine her now that he is her king?

But … what he wouldn’t do for her.

262. “he did fine”

This book is like… Reasons Gen Says Sorry

So, so… - Helen

GEN!

263. I am right. I am always right. It’s a curse.

Helen :( :( :(

The amount of times these people have seen him beaten.

He’s like … self destructive, but in a way that gives himself more power. Which he hates.

Gen, let them in. Let them in.

Chapter 5

264. honeycomb

OH NO. is it happening?

266. I’m just supposed to accept this?!! What does it mean?!

267. … a my king moment … important

But like … now can he fight?

Caryatid? [doodle after I looked it up]

268. Teleus!

C’mon Teleus. Everyone you love or respect loves him!

Honestly Pheris and Teleus … not a duo I expected

THESE TWO ARE SO DEDICATED TO TELLING HIM THAT! Ok I should chill. At least he said “may.” These are like … Pheris’s life lessons.

Honestly… I love that Teleus likes poetry, or at least likes it for Relius.

269. Lol Legarus. It’s been years! I mean, I guess that was a big deal for him… (almost being executed is a big deal for most people.)

Does he not love Gen because of Relius? Because Gen manipulated him? Because he keeps sending away his successor? Why on earth not! Hop on that train! (...)

It’s interesting that their relationship is the one that touches Pheris, not Gen and Irene. Hm.

Also … “Idiot.” The parallels.

“relatively gently” (it’s so good)

~Teleus here to talk about love~

This book is full of surprises.

270. That is NOT the bright side, Gen (“I could use my newfound authority to insist on going into battle”)

271. BUNNY! Wtf is a wineglass warrior

Very cute everyone, good job.

Still sad about Helen’s tears.

271. Gen. Don’t say these things. [volcano doodle]

272. SEE I was worried about this! The doubt!

I am not ok

This is TOO MANY Eddisian Revelations (Lader time)

Yeah. Wow.

273. Cleon x5

I … his grandfather

No.

Baby Helen begging

How did Pheris get this scene

Gen chose Cleon for his plan

275. IRENE WITH THE STATS!

276. lol Gen

My brother Sounis!

277. Missing Relius club.

Where is he though

Yes! Sophos Gen food fight!

Grapes!

“Wisdom”

He’s “the king” here and in KoA bc that’s the story but also that’s who he is to Pheris and Costis

278. So how did that Irene and MoW meeting go anyway?

How does Aulus know???

Thief short story! Probably terrible to reread, oh no

279. Are … are Aulus and Boagus together???! (“his slightly smaller partner”)

This feels … potentially traumatic … but fun? Idk

Fleece

280. This dang book. No rules!

The chandelier! So dramatic!

Mwt had … a lot to put into this one. A lot. A lot.

283. “not the Thief he was chasing”

284. The queens! The salute!

He can’t give this up.

Official Worries:

100,000 soldiers heading towards Kamet

Re: Lyopidus, Gen called Sophos his brother. Helen apparently might BE his sister. Temenus and Stenides are also going to a war where 9/10 will probably die.

Also

the MoW could have been a king if he’d stolen Helen’s throne. A lot there.

why does this book have the vibe of the library post, my comic from 2010, the king and queen interactions here, and the military tactics dream

[impala-dreamer]

A New Kind Of Magic

An SPN/Magicians Crossover Fic

~Dean and Sam have some company in the Bunker but Margo and Eliot are not there for a friendly visit. Somehow, their quest keys got screwed up and sent them to another universe. Chances of getting them home seem rather nonexistent until Eliot suggests they combine their magic...and a few other things...~

Sam Winchester x Margo Hanson x Eliot Waugh, Dean Winchester, Roger Rabbit, Unnamed Bunny

3,445 Words

Warnings: NSFW. Spells and Sex and Magic and Bunnies. All the good stuff.

AN: This is my very first crossover fic, combining some of my favorite people. I haven't ever written for Margo or Eliot before, so this was a lot of fun. This challenge piece is for, and the art and title are by @idabbleincrazy. I really hope you all enjoy! EDIT: TUMBLR TOOK DOWN THE ORIGINAL POST BC THE ART WAS TOO SEXY, THE WORDS WERE TOO SEXY, THEY WERE JEALOUS OF THIS POST. HOPE YOU LIKE IT ;)

My Masterlist ~ Become A Patreon 

It wasn’t as if no one had ever crossed into their universe before, or them into another as it were, but no matter how many times it happened, Dean was never going to be used to it. Just like the time their grandfather had walked through time and into their closet door, the last week had been super weird. It wasn’t right. But it kept on happening.

Margo was hot, that’s all Dean knew. She was like this tiny firecracker of sass and sex that would blow his hand apart if he tried to touch her. And try he did. For the first two days, he used his best pick up lines on her, flashed his most flirtatious smiles, but she was having none of it. Margo barely even looked at Dean except to fire back a snide comment, and her rejection just egged him on.

Eliot was...an interesting fellow. Dean wasn’t quite sure what to make of him but he certainly did his fair share of blushing around him. Twice, Eliot commented on the pert roundness of Dean’s ass and twice, Dean had nearly giggled himself into a frenzy. His cheeks would never stop burning around the strange, curly haired man, but give in, he would not.

While Dean was busy trying to keep his pants on around the strangers, Sam was busy trying to help them get home. He spent most of his time in the Library, pouring over books and his laptop, reading until his eyes were so out of focus that they welled with exhausted tears. He was getting nowhere. An entire universe of knowledge at his fingertips, and there was not a speck of information about Fillory or quests or Magic Keys opening random doors into other universes. He was at a loss.

Closing his computer for a moment, Sam leaned his elbows on the table and rubbed at his eyes. A kaleidoscope of static and color swirled on his eyelids and he sighed, feeling that familiar tug of sleep.

Boots rushing down the short steps knocked Sleep’s hand away.

“Still nothing?”

Sam opened his eyes to find his brother standing over him, arms crossing over his jacket.

“Not a thing. You?” Sam knew the answer, but he wanted to poke Dean with a tiny bit of guilt for not helping.

“Nope.” Dean pursed his lips. “Well… There’s a case up near Spokane,” he said, tilting his head. “Four coeds found with their hearts ripped out. Gonna go check it out with Cas unless…”

Sam lifted his eyebrows, waiting for the rest of Dean’s sentence. “Unless what?”

“Unless you wanna come with? Get out of the Bunker for a bit? Get some fresh air?”

“Dean, we’re kinda in the middle of something.” He’d long ago stopped wondering how far he could roll his eyes. He knew.

“Yeah and you got it all under control.” After a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure they were alone, Dean leaned down a bit, resting a hand on the back of the chair next to Sam. “Listen, I gotta get outta here. That chick is super hot and ignores me every other word and the tall guy is…” Dean sucked his teeth as he searched for the right word, but couldn’t find anything good. “I just need like five minutes alone. OK?”

Sam breathed out a laugh and nodded. “OK.”

“OK!” Dean smiled and stood up, spinning on his heel towards the door. “Check ya later, Sammy. Be good. Don’t burn the house down!”

“Leaving so soon?” Margo appeared at the top of the stairs, long hair down and shining, one of Mary’s old shirts hanging off her shoulders.

Dean startled but caught himself. “Just making a milk run, milady, nothing to worry about.” He gave her his best smile, but she lifted a brow and looked towards Sam.

“Thanks for the conditioner,” she said with a smile. “This universe is killing my hair. Never thought I could miss magic so much.” She pushed passed Dean and sank into the chair next to Sam.

“OK then,” Dean mumbled to himself. “Have fun playing beauty parlor!” He waved as he hopped up the steps and disappeared around the corner.

Sam huffed and pushed his tongue between his teeth. “Sorry about my brother. He’s…”

Margo shrugged him off and adjusted herself in the chair, half lounging, one leg slung over the arm facing Sam. “He’s harmless.”

Sam laughed. “He’s really not…”

“I could take him.”

Deep red lips pulled into a smirk and Sam’s heart raced.

“I bet you could.”

Steps scuffled on the top stair as Eliot swaggered into the archway. “What are we betting?” He lifted a flask to his lips and giggled around the cap. “Strip poker, I hope.” Margo gave him a stern look and he floated into the room, taking the seat across from Sam. “Sorry.”

Sam managed to clear the lump from his throat with a gentle laugh. “Uh, no,” he answered awkwardly. “We were just talking about my brother’s-”

“Tight little ass,” Margo grinned, winking at Sam who’s cheeks turned fifthteen shades of pink.

Eliot laughed and kicked back in his seat, crossing his long legs at the ankles beneath the table. “I could bounce a quarter off that ass,” he said in playful agreement. “Or bite it.”

Sam’s expression twisted into something reminiscent of a firefighter smelling a burnt corpse for the first time, but was soon soothed by Margo’s sexy laugh.

“El, that’s too much,” she teased, swatting her hand through the air at him. “You’re embarrassing my boy here.”

Sam took a long moment to collect himself, to pull his eyes away from her perfect lips. When he was ready, he sat up and fiddled with his laptop, trying to give his hands something to do.

“So any luck getting us home?” Eliot asked, voice turning from sex to business.

“Sadly, no.” Sam sighed heavily and shook his head. “I just can’t find anything that would work. Since your magic doesn’t work here, I can figure that our magic wouldn’t work to get you there. I can’t see that a door like this has ever been opened between our worlds before.”

“But you told us about that rift thing,” Margo reminded him, sitting up and unhooking her leg from the chair. “Maybe we could open one of those?”

A bit of hair fell into Sam’s eyes as he shook his head again. “No. Everything points to your universe being on a totally different line that ours.”

Eliot laughed in confusion. “What?”

“If you think of the universes as we’re speaking of them,” Sam explained, gesticulating with big hands as he broke it all down for Eliot and Margo. “You could imagine an infinite number of Earths on a string, all lined up, all the same yet not. Now this string would keep our universe together and theoretically, you could use the string to jump from one world to the other.”

“Right…” Margo’s dark eyes blinked wildly as Sam rambled on.

“From what I’ve read,” he went on, “it looks as if your Earth is on a seperate string.”

“So no jumping back and forth?” she asked, painted lips in a deep frown.

“No jumping,” Sam echoed in agreement.

“It’s like the bunnies,” Eliot mused, staring at Sam but looking passed him at a memory.

“Bunnies?” Sam’s voice cracked as he questioned the odd comment.

“In Fillory, we have bunnies that can talk and we can send them to Earth with messages, and visa versa.” Margo tried to explain it better than that, but it was pretty simple, actually. It was what it was.

“Ah.” Sam smiled but his curiosity was far from sated. “So tell me again about the keys?”

Eliot rolled his eyes. “We are on a quest and the keys are all...magical as fuck.”

Sam laughed. “Right. And...opening doors to different places is normal for you guys?”

“It is, but we’ve never been stuck like this...powerless and trapped underground.” Margo exhaled sadly.

“You know we’re not...holding you here,” Sam offered kindly.

She turned to face him and smiled. “Honey, even if I wasn’t hiding out in tunnels under a mountain of dirt- this is Kansas. There’s nothing to do. I might as well be trapped.”

“Oh, come on, Bambi,” Eliot cooed, sneaking in, “we can always find something to do.” His eyes turned to Sam. “Or someone.”

Sam swallowed so hard it nearly echoed. He couldn’t deny the heat in his cheeks when Eliot stared at him, or the tightness of his jeans when Margo’s hand brushed his leg accidentally, but he really didn’t have time for all that. There was research to do.

“We really should get back to work,” Sam insisted, clearing his throat for the upteenth time. His shoulders were so tight he thought they’d snap, but he had to keep his head screwed on right.

“Yeah,” Margo snipped, sarcastically waving a finger at Eliot. “No time for sex. We need to focus.”

Eliot laughed so hard the table shook, and he pulled the flask back out of his vest. He tipped his head back, going for the last swallow, and suddenly had an idea. Margo could see the lightbulb illuminate behind his eyes and she leaned close.

“Oh…”

“What is it?”

Sam hummed in question.

Eliot grinned. “Sex.”

“You need to calm your tits, sir,” Margo sassed, rolling her eyes and sitting back. “I want to go home.”

“No,” he laughed, leaning over the table. “Sex Magic.”

Margo’s face lit up and she gave a half smile. “Oh…”

Confused, Sam looked back and forth between them. “Sex Magic?”

“It’s a rarely used ritual that can produce a large amount of magical energy,” Margo explained. “But our magic isn’t working here so what the fuck, El?” She shot him a glare but Eliot was undeterred.

“No, listen. What if we combine our magic with some of Sam’s magic and see what happens.”

“Why does it have to be the fucking type?”

Eliot grinned. “Because if it doesn’t work, we’re not out anything but a couple condoms.”

Margo seemed satisfied with that and looked to Sam whose jaw was nearly on the ground.

“You in, big boy?” she asked, dropping her hand to his knee.

“I, uh… what...” Sam struggled with the new plan, but suddenly remembered something he’d read a few days ago that seemed pointless until now. “Actually… I think that could work…”

Deep in Rowena’s journals was a spell for conjuring up a large amount of magical power. Sam had skimmed it but ultimately given up the idea; he hadn’t felt ready to attempt something so powerful, but with two actual magicians by his side, Sam decided it was worth a shot.

The trio stood in Sam’s bedroom, lights dimmed, candles lit around the perimeter. It was romantic and warm, but Sam’s hands were shaking.

Eliot noticed the tremor and handed Sam his flask. “Take the edge off,” he whispered gently.

“Thanks,” Sam smiled quickly and took a sip. He winced at the strong but smooth Scotch as it ran down his throat. “My brother’s gonna bite your head off if he finds out you’re in his good stash.”

“I can take him,” Eliot winked.

Sam stared at him in awe. “You two are so…”

“Sexy?” Eliot offered.

“Confident,” Sam finished.

“Well, that too.”

“Can we get this going?” Margo interrupted, ripping the shirt off her head. Her hair fell down in perfect waves behind her back and she offered the men a nice view of her breasts. “I’m getting bored.”

The spell was impossibly simple. A bit of blood from each of them was mixed with elm ash and cloves, then rubbed over each breastbone, right above their hearts. A few words of tongue-twisting Latin and a cache of energy should begin to charge over the bowl of remaining potion.

Sam finished enchanting the mixture and held the brass bowl out to Eliot. "I guess...we can get started."

Eliot smirked and dipped two long fingers into the bowl, his dark eyes locked on Sam's. "I can't wait."

Margo shivered as Eliot smeared the tincture over her heart, gently rubbing the brownish mess into her smooth skin. She looked up at him and smiled slyly. "Love it when you massage me."

"Oh, hush," he grinned, pulling his hand away. "Your turn." He nodded towards Sam and Margo slipped away.

"Gonna need you to strip."

Sam’s stomach flipped. “Uh...what?” His tongue felt dead in his mouth as he blushed every ounce of body heat through his cheeks.

Margo gave him a smug smile and moved closer, her naked breasts bouncing slightly as she took each step. “Strip.” She popped the P and Sam’s heart skipped too many beats. “Gonna need to take those clothes off if we’re gonna do this.” Her dark eyes fell down the length of Sam’s body and he shivered.

“Yeah.” His laugh was awkward and adorable.

“Awe, he’s shy,” Eliot cooed, dropping his pants by the bed, already half hard and ready to go.  

Sam chewed his lip as he pulled the old green flannel from his shoulders, held his breath as he tugged his undershirt up over his head, swallowed down a cannonball when his jeans hit the floor. He held his eyes shut, half expecting a teasing word from Eliot, but the room was oddly silent.

“Well, hot damn.”

Margo’s voice pulled Sam’s eyes open and he found both visitors staring at him with lust filled eyes. Their stares knocked away his nerves and Sam stepped forward, looking down at Margo and licking his lips.

“Go ahead,” he whispered; a wolfish grin growing upon his pink lips.

Her eyes blurred as a shudder traveled down her spine, but she snapped back quickly. “Let’s do this.”

Her touch was like fire on his chest, the potion even more so. Her fingers were so thin, so delicate, and Sam’s cock twitched as he imagined her tiny hands trying to hold on as he wrecked her against the wall.

By the time she was done, Sam was stiff and his head was swimming. Eliot came towards him, ready to be anointed. His chest was firm and warm beneath Sam’s fingers, and he lingered there, caught in the moment, marveling at how not strange it was anymore. There was something in the air, something in the spell that took away all the hesitation, flooding his brain with arousal and confidence.

Eliot smiled as Sam’s hand finally fell away. “You’re real pretty, Sam. Anyone ever tell you that?”

Hazel eyes glowed bright and his hand returned to Eliot’s chest, slowly rising to curl around the nape of his neck. “So are you.”

The same heat in the tincture was in their kiss; lips and breath on fire as Eliot kissed Sam back, pulling him closer with a firm hand on his ass. Hips pushing against hips, fingers tangling in hair. Sam’s ears were ringing by the time Eliot let him go and he whimpered under his breath, wanting the heat against his lips again.

Margo warmed him up, slipping easily between them, soft and hot, fitting herself in place. She reached up for Sam and pulled him down by some mysterious string tied around his throat, the same string that now lead him to the bed, pushed him down underneath her, held him captive as her lips traveled his body.

Eliot lit the candle by the bed and smoke filled the room. It was a mist, a thick fog of sweet perfume that rolled around and inside of them, stoked by tongues and fingers, fueled by the rolling of hips.

Sam breathed deeply as Margo lowered herself onto him, straddling his cock backwards as her lips fell to Eliot’s waiting cock. Sam cupped her ass as Eliot gathered up her hair, and they held her in place, each using the push and pull to keep her happy between them.

The louder she moaned, the brighter the mist glowed, swirling around them like something from a dream; a dorm room smoke out lit by neon, a fairy garden at midnight. Sam wasn’t sure anymore where their bodies began and ended, and after a while, he stopped trying to make sense of the moment. They lay in a heap on the bed; legs twisted together, lips never far from supple flesh, tongues always busy, hands kneading and probing.

As her pleasure crested, Margo let out a howl that cleared the fog, sending it straight up above their heads. It curled and spun into a rush of brightly colored wind that hovered over the key. It shot down inside the key as Sam came, growling loudly and digging his nails into Margo’s hips. The key glowed bright gold as Eliot followed, coating Sam’s thighs in hot white.

“Yo! Sam!” Dean turned the corner into the hall, limping a little on his left ankle. “Where you at?”

There was a loud rustle and then a slamming door. Sam emerged from his room, rushing towards Dean, his face bright pink, lips swollen, hair a mess. He fiddled with the buttons of his flannel, not realizing that, in his haste, he had miss matched the top set.

Dean eyed him suspiciously. “Everything OK?”

“What? Yeah.” Sam shook his head as if offended by such a question. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Green eyes fell downwards, zooming in on the crooked buttons. “You’re a mess. Look at you.”

Sam shrugged him off and pushed past him, walking purposefully towards the War Room as he rebuttoned his shirt. “It’s fine.”

Dean sniffed the air as Sam walked by and hobbled quickly behind him. “Did you fuck her?”

“What!” Sam skidded to a halt, pushing out a nervous laugh as he tried to ignore Dean’s darting eyes.

“You did, didn’t you! You fucked Margo!”

“That’s...just rude,” Sam snapped.

Dean gasped dramatically and covered his mouth. “You didn’t...did you fuck him too?”

Sam stood to full height, shocked. “You...what...I…”

Dean held his ground. “You stink like sex.”

“Shut up.”

“You did fuck them!”

“Just...stop it. OK?”

Dean shrugged but smirked as he turned away. “Fine.” Wincing, he shuffled to a chair by the glowing table and sat. “Where are they anyway? I’m due for a little rejection about now.”

Sam sat across the table and smiled. “They are gone.”

“Gone?”

“Yup. Found a spell in Rowena’s books, combined it with a little...magic from their world and…” He threw his hands up, empty, like the Bunker. “They’re home.”

Dean nodded thoughtfully and smiled. “Well. Good work.”

“Thank you.”

Silence fell for a bit but Dean’s head was buzzing. “What kind of magic was it?”

Sam picked at the cuff of his shirt. “It was...there...just...Some weird ritual of theirs.” He looked away, blushing at the thought and Dean caught every twitch of his face.

“You did fuck them!”

“Dude, enough, OK!”

“Fine.” Dean sat back in his seat and licked his lips smugly. “Fine.”

“Thank you.”

There was a strange pressure in the air suddenly and a loud whooshing sound. Above the table, the air seemed to swirl into tiny hurricane, and the brothers looked up in awe as a small black hole opened up over their heads.

“What the fuck is that!” Dean yelped, tipping the chair back so far he almost fell.

Sam leaned in, squinting up into the darkness. “I don’t know!”

Beyond all comprehension and logic, from out of the mysterious black hole, dropped a fluffy gray rabbit. It fell to the table and took a step towards Sam.

“Thanks for the help,” it said.

Dean gawked. “Did that rabbit just talk to you?”

Sam nodded, just as shocked. “I believe it did.”

The air whirled again and another rabbit plopped down onto the table before the portal closed.

“And sex. Love, Eliot,” the second bunnie concluded.

Green eyes went huge and Dean’s smile was unstoppable. “You dirty boy! You did fuck them!”

Sam stammered. “It was a spell!”

Dean laughed, slapping the table gleefully with his hands. “You fucked ‘em! I knew it!”

Sam let him go on for a few minutes before clearing his throat. “You done?”

Dean giggled. “Yeah.”

The second rabbit wiggled its nose and hopped towards Dean who scooped him up gently. “Uh...what do we do with these?”

Sam shrugged and stood up. “No idea. But I already fixed one mess today. This one’s on you.”

Dean frowned but the bunny in his hands was too cute to ignore. As Sam walked away, he cuddled it close and whispered. “I’m gonna name you Roger.”

2020 Forever Tags: @67-chevy-baby @akhuna01 @amanda-teaches @autumnmoon @because-imma-lady-assface @blushingjared @broiderie @burningcoffeetimetravel @classic-rock-angel @coopercharlie16 @cosicas-cuquis @covered-byroses @crashdevlin @deansgirl215 @deans-baby-momma @deangirl7695 @deanwinchesterswitch @dolphincliffs @dontshootmespence @edge-oftonight @emoryhemsworth @eternal-elir @fandom-princess-forevermore @fangirlxwritesx67 @feelmyroarrrr @flamencodiva @focusonspn @herbologystudent252 @heycasbutt @hornyandsmol @ilovefanfic86 @i-love-superhero @ilsawasanacrobat @imjustadrummer @ivvitm1109 @joseyrw @justagirlinafandomworld @justcallmeasmodeus @katymacsupernatural @laxe-from-outer-space​ @leatherandfrackles​ @lessons-of-red​ @letsby​ @letsdisneythings​ @lonewolf471​ @maddiepants​ @mariekoukie6661​ @meganwinchester1999​ @melbelle45 @missjenniferb​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @our-jensen-ackles-love​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @starboycas​ @stephaniecanfield96us​ @stoneyggirl​ @squirrelnotsam​ @thebookisbtr​ @the-chocolate-moose​ @thehardcoveraddict​ @thevelvetseries​ @veevm​ @winchestersister55​ @wendibird​ @winecatsandpizza​ @winterpoohbear​

[noreasonreally]

.

i don’t know. i don’t know why i keep avoiding writing. i want to work on this story bc it’s fun and cool and a way to bond with my aunt who lives far away. but i probably need to write more about how i’m feeling. and journaling takes a long time by hand. and this is a good place for venting personal shit. idk. we’ll see.

i want to write about the feelings in this story but i may have delved too deep into my own psyche. my own sore spots. 

i had an anxiety attack a couple nights ago. i keep having nightmares. part of me blames re-watching stranger things but i also watched parks n rec before i went to bed and also i had nightmares before re-watching stranger things. so that theory’s debunked.

i told my brother about the Big Trauma and he said he was sorry and that it explained a lot and on one hand what a relief! on the other hand he made it sound like that’s the reason i cut our father out of my life and that’s Not The Reason. i told him he didnt need to worry about changing his behavior right now bc he’s got a lot on his plate and just... whatever dude, he doesn’t need to. i didn’t tell him bc i wanted him to change.

i mean it would be nice if he were angry.

but i didn’t expect him to be.

and for all i know, he took this information to my dad and was convinced i’m full of shit. 

the thing is i’ll never know. i have no idea what he thinks or feels, ever. i hope that when our father and grandfather die, he’ll open up. i don’t know if it’ll be too late by then. 

and trust me, i’ve tried to “save” him. 

no one wants to be “saved” against their will.

so i just watch. i take the peace offerings. i hope playing video games and drinking like 3 alcoholic beverages and old movie quotes will give us some sense of connection. i got drunk and spilled my guts and he hugged me and i want something more but i know he can’t give me anything more. 

and then two nights ago he comes home - one of the brief intermissions from his 3 jobs, separation from his wife, new girlfriend, and taking care of our demented grandfather who molested me when i was too young to know it was bad - one of the brief moments where i see him for half an hour, an hour tops - and he immediately says “i’m going to sit uncomfortably close to my sister!” thinking he’s funny. and he does. and i calmly say i’m changing seats and he “apologizes for making me move, because he was kidding,” and i want to believe he’s silly, and i want to believe he’s kidding, and i want so badly to believe that my brother heard me, and respects me, and knows how it feels to be powerless.

i want to believe that he knows that. i want to believe that deep down, he has some intuition and it’s just buried under the fucking bonkers notions from my toxic paternal family members. 

but i go to bed early and have an anxiety attack. 

because pinning me to the side of the couch for shits and giggles after i tell you some intense shit, is not cute or funny. you never did that shit before. it doesn’t just go away.

i want to blow up at him, i want to scream, i want to feel like i’m not powerless anymore. i want to force him to see me for who i am, for what i truly feel, for what i’ve truly been through, because it’s real and valid and it’s fucking painful.

and i know being triggered means my reactions might be out of line. so i’m careful with what i say. i’m thoughtful. i don’t want to pin twenty-odd years of resentment and pain on the idiot who doesn’t even know what he’s putting himself through. 

but it also feels like i just got another kick in the head over something that was never my fault. 

another reason to say “oh poor old dad” and write me off. 

i know there’s a big grey area between the worst: expecting him to involve my father in my trauma - and the best: him saying he also denounces the paternal side of our family. i know that “i’m sorry that happened, that explains a lot” is a pretty good reaction, all things considered.

i guess it’s just hard to realize that nothing will ever be enough to erase it from happening. of course i knew this in my head. but i definitely thought i would have... some kind of epiphany after telling my brother.

if i never told him, i could still hold onto the fantasy of him responding with “that’s horrible! i’m never seeing any of them again unless you want to go yell at them for being awful.”

the reality of “thanks for saying i don’t have to change anything about what i’m doing” isn’t as heroic. or comforting. 

so i watch. we play video games and trade places on the couch and drink beer sometimes. i visit with my nieces and teach them how to scold the dog for being too rough and build towers with them and their dad. it doesn’t hurt to see other men being good dads anymore. 

and before anyone asks, yeah, my soon-to-be ex-sister-in-law has already banned him from taking their girls to visit our father or grandfather. 

man.

how does anyone do this? i don’t feel “broken,” or “unlovable” - i have pretty much everything i need to feel safe and happy, frankly. i’m in a pretty good place and i do my best to help others get to a good place, too.

but that doesn’t mean the trauma isn’t there. it doesn’t mean my ptsd is magically gone. my anxiety attacks and nightmares still hang out. i still woke up screaming “you don’t own him” this morning. 

i want to connect the dots and figure out what the big picture is - how to make it “good trauma,” like diane in bojack horseman, and do something so that i’m a success and i can point to my trauma and say “nana-nana boo boo, i’m gonna make other people’s lives better,” and then poof! it’ll be solved and i won’t feel bad anymore and i’ll sleep like a totally normal individual.

what’s really happening is that i’m excited if i can keep myself present for two seconds. 

and ultimately i don’t want any of this shit to go away. i work hard not to make it the focus of all my energy, but at the same time, i’m glad i know how to do that. because i know how to pay attention to myself and care about myself and fill my cup, so to speak, so i’m not in a constant state of needing validation like i used to be. and i know how to give genuine words of affection. i’m still working on a lot of things but i’m glad i generally know how to work on ‘em.

and if more fucked up shit happens i’ll work on that too. 

i’m okay. no matter what my brother says, or doesn’t say, no matter how many anxiety attacks i have, no matter how many walls i have to break down to become the person i want to be and know i will be, i know i can do it. i do have power over my life. i do think i’m worth the effort. i’m conflicted by a lot of things but that’s ok. i can be all the things. 

[springvaletales]

((Session fourteen is wrapped!))

Before the session, Thiori’s player DM-ed me through Discord to talk about splitting Thiori from the party for a bit - not long enough that he’d have to sit out the session, but just long enough to justify some major physical changes that Thiori needs to go through to due to a few feats and bonuses his class has triggering after last session’s level up.

The party scavenged five broken feathers from the rubble of the fight with the mutant roc that give them +2 to lightning resistance.

“You won’t take AS much damage if Zeus decides ‘fuck YOU in particular’.”

Player suggested magic item: Hard Hat of Disguise. Those in the immediate vicinity must succeed in a wisdom save to realize that the wearer does not belong. It’s not actually an enchanted hard hat. It just plays to the power of suggestion.

Me: “Hey just so you guys know if you want to try out a new character your old one doesn’t have to die first.”

Asahi’s player: “If she dies, she dies.”

Thiori bounced to get rooms at an inn the moment he had the opportunity.

“If the Tabaxi Postal Service can hold a conversation with your package, they will not ship it.”

August wrote up a bunch of invitations to all the local noble houses and sent them out via Arcana bird to invite them all to an ‘important meeting’ regarding the sudden disaster at the Aviary.

“It was a tiny bird, and you gave them a proportionally large dose. They’re gonna be invisible for a while.”

Asahi and Ena translate between August and Willowbeard, and ask for the Arcana birds to deliver the invitations, so that the nobles will be guaranteed to come.

August then attempted to pray to ‘the god from her dream’ (Skaadi), and OH BOY was she successful.

The party took a short rest, and Baglby broke out his bedroll, his pillow, an eye mask, and a little music box. I will die for him.

Asahi took a power nap with her eyes wide open. I am afraid.

Thiori returned just in time to meet the nobles, whom I failed to script dialogue for and had to basic bitch the narrations of.

The party strung the noble representatives along with some interrogation-esque questioning for a few minutes, even though they’d already made up their minds to merc the family heads as a warning to the rest.

Baglby’s player caught on immediately to which noble was the least involved in the corruption, and suggested OOC that we spare him and focus the questioning on him to get more information. I love it when the players figure things out!

August and Baglby had one of the nobles - Barthel Hitherwisp - pulled away from the group by Ena before suddenly and brutally murdering the other three. Barthel will never sleep again.

Thiori spontaneously sprouted massive crab claws from his shoulders in dual sprays of blood, and crushed the last noble to death with the claws. Baglby immediately asked if Thiori had ever been to a clam bake.

Murdered NPC nobles:

Ularora Winderthorp (mother, elven)

Fitz Tasso of House Wendelin (grandfather, human)

Wysanna Sunheart of East Bethraea (grandmother, elven)

Baglby declined to rob Barthel while he was unconscious on the grounds of “he doesn’t look like he has anything good”.

Thiori: “We should probably get rid of these bodies…”

Willowbeard, reaching her roots out of the floor: “Look away, dear. This won’t be pretty.”

Baglby blocked off the Aviary door by casting the illusion of a solid wall over it, along with a small wooden sign that read “Door moved. Please use other entrance.”

Thiori hit the door frame on both sides upon returning to the inn, sighed heavily, and shuffled in sideways.

“The lobby is empty, and there is a small, hastily-written note sitting on the counter, which reads “Having a crisis. Assist yourselves.” in script handwriting.

Baglby, to Thiori: “Do you still have your human arms, too?”

Thiori, currently using his human arms to hand out the room keys to the party: “No.”

Baglby, softly: “Oh my god….”

Poor Thiori has to literally crab walk anywhere indoors now bc his big meaty claws are too big for the spaces.

“Thiori does appreciate that Ena did not ask to eat his arms.”

The party then spent five minutes wondering if it would be ethical to eat Thiori’s new crab arms in the event of a survival emergency.

“With Thiori’s new strength, yeeting you will not be much of a problem.”

“Oh yeah didn’t we have seven other NPCs traveling with us? We should probably touch base with them.”

Baglby’s player, after returning from a snack break to see a sketch of Thiori that an artist drew a dick on top of: “Please explain.”

Asahi’s player, the artist: “No, I’m good.”

Barthel woke up at last, and Asahi and August asked him a few more questions about Joscinda, the situation with the false construction, and etc. He doesn’t know much, but I can give them a little lore. As a treat.

Baglby tried to ‘help’ with Thiori’s long-awaited nap by lending him his music box and casting Sleep on him. The spell didn’t work, but Thiori pretended that it did.

The rest of the NPCs finally caught up with the party, and they were very frazzled. They’d been having a lovely day of shopping before the city centre exploded.

Ena: “We’re not gonna mention that we murdered grandma.”

Asahi: “I…totally mentioned that we murdered grandma.”

As the party slept, August had a dream of some great presence watching over her. Haaruma and Naoka had a ‘reunion’, and Asahi, on the other side of their wall, got no sleep. Ena also grew a tail overnight, and poor Asahi got to watch that happen.

Thiori’s PC finally told the other players some more lore about Thiori’s race/class, which had been kept semi-secret for story reasons.

Baglby’s PC submitted a .txt file for a homebrew casting class: The Kleptomancer - a thief/caster that steals items of importance to their target and uses those items to power up their spells. It was approved, of course.

The Tabaxi Postcat returned in the morning with three responses to Asahi’s letters. Only the Winderthorp family gave no response.

Baglby successfully used his homebrew kleptomancy to steal a sentimental pocket watch off of Barthel, and cast Suggestion to get him to get his shit together and take up (temporary) leadership of the city.

The party pays another Tabaxi Postcat to take a catalogue of all the addresses in the city, and then assign them to all the people living in the shantytowns outside the city’s main gates.

Asahi then went back to A Pawful of Potions to check on Vaxa’lian, and ask him if he would be willing to stand in as part of city leadership until such time as his brother could take over/his curse was broken.

Asahi: “Do you want someone to watch the shop for a while?”

Vaxa’lian: “This shop could sink into the depths of the earth, and I would not give a single fuck.”

Asahi:

Vaxa’lian:

Vaxa’lian: “I would like to keep my cushion, however. It is very soft.”

I left to take the dogs out for a few minutes and came back to a mechanical discussion on whether or not Willowbeard the Awakened Tree warlock could use the spell Comprehend Languages or Tongues most effectively to communicate with non-tree citizens.

Ena snuck out to the forest while the rest of the party worked on getting the shantytown populations moved into the city to meet with her patron, and talk more about Michael, as they had agreed to in an earlier session.

I got to lore-drop about Michael, his curse, and his pre-story living situation as much as I dared to clear up some story questions.

We left off there so people could get some sleep, but we’ll be back again next week!

[artlessictoan]

Do you have any more detailed headcanons on the life before the orphanage of the sand sibs 2.0?

yes I absolutely do! potential spoiler warning for breakingthe cycle?? I’m honestly not sure how much of this is actually gonna come up inthe fic, since I haven’t really got any set plan for it, I deliberately wantedto keep Shinki’s past in particular kinda vague bc I wanted to depict a characterwho doesn’t have to disclose alltheir trauma, even to those closest to them, and have that decision respectedby their loved ones, so I guess if you’re really curious about him then thiscould be the background that helps you understand the parts of his characterthat will only be hinted at within btc? Yodo and Araya’s bits are the mostlikely to actually be explored in the fic, so yeah maybe kinda sorta spoilers ifyou’re willing to wait 500 years for me to get my act together kjdfhg

(tw for child neglect, homelessness and physical abuse)

---

Araya

---

Araya had the most normal and healthy childhood of thethree, he had loving, low-ranking ninja parents and was a sweet – if very shy –boy, money was always a bit tight and he had some anxiety to deal with, but atthat age neither really affected him much.

That changed a few months after his he turned six, when afire started in his home; his parents managed to get him out, but not before hereceived severe burns, in the process they both inhaled significant amounts ofsmoke and both died later in hospital, Araya himself survived, though he had extremescarring across much of the right-hand side of his body – and particularly onhis face – and was left partially blind in his right eye (can just see coloursand unfocused shapes). No one in his extended family was either willing or ableto take him in, especially with the medical care he still needed, so, after he’drecovered as much as he could, he was sent to Suna’s orphanageand we know what happened from there

---

Yodo

---

She had a much more.. complicated childhood. She wasabandoned at birth, left in an alley in an area where Suna’s homeless tended tocongregate, she was discovered and taken in by a kind man before she starved,though she was already weak and quite sick. He cared for her for a short time,but died before her first birthday, she drifted around between various carers andhad a few short stints in the orphanage though she quickly learned how to lookafter herself and never stayed in one place very long before she was eitherabandoned or ran away herself (to pre-empt the inevitable abandonment she’dcome to expect), the times she was sent to live with foster parents endeddisastrously, as she’d become accustomed to living on the streets, stealing toget by and fighting for herself, so she spent most of her early years homeless,living in harsh, poverty-stricken places.

Of the people who helped raise and teach her, the one who affectedher the most was an older boy who let her hang around when she was about five,he was in his mid-teens and the youngest of her street friends and he wassimilarly cynical and distrustful of adults and the world at large, so sheautomatically felt a bit of kinship with him. They didn’t ever intend to becomeclose, they just happened to be squatting in the same building and wouldoccasionally do each other a solid without being asked, sometimes one or theother would disappear for a while, but they’d eventually come back to a (relatively)warm welcome, playing card games, teaming up for big thefts, etc.

After a few months of getting to know each other, they’d startedto open up about all the people who’d hurt or left them and Yodo started tothink of him as her big brother, but when he was caught by a local thug who they’dstolen from, he ran away, leaving her to take the beating meant for him, afterthat, she found a new place to sleep and decided that absolutely no one was everworth trusting. She saw him a few times afterwards, always flying into a rageat him, but she didn’t really blame him at the time, it’s just the law of thestreets to always look out for number one after all.

She soon found herself back at the orphanage though.

---

Shinki

---

Ok so I’ve mentioned before that my version of Shinki isactually related to Gaara? First cousin once removed to be exact, not thatGaara knows that (Shinki is vaguely aware but prefers not to think about it).

The kage line is a lot more lineage-tied in Suna than othernations, and the council tends to be rather conservative, so when the third Kazekagehad a child with a mistress, they ‘encouraged’ him to disown the boy, not evenallowing him to support him or his mother; the son in question was always incrediblybitter about that and, when the third eventually went missing and was officiallydeclared dead, he vied with the legitimate son (Rasa) for the kage title, butlost, partly because of his birth but also because he didn’t inherit the magnetrelease, something he had tried and failed to activate since he was a child.

When Rasa came into power, he pushed his half-brother’s familyfurther and further into destitution, until they were completely powerless. Unableto reach the position of Kazekage, the son eventually married and had a childof his own, but remained an unpleasant, cold man to everyone around him.

When Rasa died, he once again tried to claim the title, thenwhen that failed pushed his daughter to compete against Gaara for it, she hadat least a modicum of self-preservation and didn’t bother – though she was alwaysone of Gaara’s most persistent detractors, not agreeing with his pushes forpeace and internalising a fair bit of her father’s old grudge against the kage family.Some time after the last great ninja war, she had a son, Shinki.

His parents were always quite cold with him, broken peoplefrom broken families themselves, neither one was really interested in having achild, so outside of basic care, they just left him to himself. When he turned three,his father died while out on a mission, unable to cope with the loss, hismother tracked down his killers to get revenge, but ultimately only got herselfkilled; with no other family to take care of him, Shinki was sent to live withhis maternal grandfather, Rasa’s half-brother.

At first there was very little difference between livingwith his parents and his granddad, they were all distant and had little interestin him, but when Shinki one day stopped a metal pan falling off the countermid-air, his grandfather lost it, inhis youth he’d been denied the position of kage in part because he hadn’t inheritedthe third’s abilities, but this strange, silent boy who could hardly even walkup and down stairs was exhibiting the magnet release? All his deep-seated rageand inadequacy came out and he hit Shinki. Then it happened again a few dayslater. And then it kept happening,every time he showed any sign of moving metallic objects, then any time he wasa bit too loud, or got in the way, or was just in his line of sight on a badday.

It continued through the ages three to seven, when hisgrandfather finally grew ill and died (natural causes, he was getting very old).He hadn’t bothered to inform the hospital staff that he had a child in hiscare, so eventually when the food left at home ran out, Shinki went out to buysome more, attracted the concern of a shopkeeper who, after being unable to geta word out of him, took him to the authorities. When it became clear that noone was looking for a missing child and Shinki didn’t seem at all concernedabout finding his parents, he was sent to the orphanage, to eventually meet Araya,Yodo and Gaara and discover what family reallyis.

---

[fantasmagoriam]

I wrote down some info about my deputy, Rose Dravić, and I’m putting it here because reason. It’s not like a full backstory, just some random facts for me +2 people I actually told about her, so for anyone else it’ll probably be more confusing than informative but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

She’s in her late 20s, like 27-29, I don’t keep a strict timeline so I don’t have a set age

Her parents were immigrants from former Yugoslavia

She has a brother, 9 years  older than her. He’s a former radiotelegraph operator of the US army. During his service he’s been sent to Afghanistan and came back completely broken. Seeing him like this was what motivated Rose to study psychology. (she was young and idealistic at the time and wanted to fix the world)

She studied psychology and has a bachelor's degree in it.

She met a guy early during her studies and their relationship was picture perfect. That is, until he started abusing her, first mentally and later physically. He tried to make her completely dependent on him, cut her off her family and forced her to quit studying when she was halfway through getting her master’s degree.

Her daughter, Vera, is 4 at the time FC5 takes place, she lives with the foster parents in Idaho, Rose does her best to visit them at least twice a month.

Oh boi, is she bitter about the fact that her daughter was taken away from her. Not towards the child of the people who are taking care of her rn, but towards the system. After everything she’s been through, everything she did t protect her kid (even protecting her with her own body when her partner’s aggression moved from her towards the child) Vera was still taken away from her and it makes her blood boil.

She’s been seeing a therapist regularly since she left her partner. Thanks to that most of her personality issues are under control at the moment the plot of the game starts, but everything got worse yet again as the events in Hope County escalate.

She rarely talks about her ex-partner and all the abuse, she tries her best to avoid the topic. She has a very vague version of her personal story prepared that skips that part entirely gets nervous when people start asking in-depth questions.

She was dealing with some serious anger management issues, although it’s mostly a cover up for anxiety. When she can’t control what’s going on she gets anxious, and that anxiety turns into anger. She’s convinced it makes her look tougher than she actually is. She gets irritated really easily can go from calm to furious rapidly, raises her voice to get her point across (later often feels terrible about it). She sometimes breaks things as a response to anger.

She also has troubles sleeping, if she’s not keeping her sleep schedule under control it gets completely messed up, she has troubles falling asleep and she often wakes up in the middle of the night.

Speaks fluently four languages, english, serbian, russian and sarcasm ;)

She talks to herself quite often, usually in serbian so no one can understand her babbling.

She smokes a lot, especially when stressed. Rarely drinks alcohol and when she does it’s never to the point she gets completely wasted.

She moved into Hope County about a year before the plot takes place. Rented a small house that’s located a few miles past the tunnel that leads out of Holland Valley, bought a motorcycle bc motorcycles are cool (why can't we have one ubi, wht is this) and was perfectly happy with her life for a time being.

She’s good friends with the Rye’s family, she treats Nick like a younger brother, despite them being around the same age.

Despite what you can do in-game she can’t pilot helicopters for shit. She’s ok with planes tho, her grandfather was a pilot and while visiting him in Serbia one summer he thought her how to pilot his old Cessna (she still claims it was the most frightening experience in her life)

Has a pet tarantula named Mayhem, she calls it Mads for short.

[jaeminlore]

The Adventure Continues // Na Jaemin

Pt 1

-

summary: prince!jaemin part two where jaemin and you meet again, only this time he is engaged to be married.

words: 6063

category: angst + fluff, prince au

author note: it was nice to return to this au (also it somehow turned into my second longest scenario ever so maybe i got a bit carried away but how can you not it’s jaEMIN). as usual i miss jaemin and wish he would just show himself to us bc i miss my bestest pal. i hope he’s safe and healthy and being loved by his family.

- destinee

honestly if sm doesn’t update us on this pure snickerdoodle i will swim over to south korea mYSELF WATCH ME

-

Jaemin found himself sitting on the stone edge of the right side turret of his family’s castle. With his feet weighted by heavy boots, he found that he couldn’t hardly swing his feet back and forth like he pleased.

Instead, he let them hang limp, perhaps to mirror the feeling of despair that had settled in his stomach. In just two years, schedules and duties had distracted him from any kind of adventure he had dreamed of, bit more than anything, it kept him from you.

Jaemin thought about you often, and he wondered how you were doing. Your grandfather visited the kingdom every once in awhile for routine smithing and repairs. The young prince had followed him around for the first few months, asking questions about how you were doing.

Apparently, your grandmother’s condition had only worsened into something much more serious than a cold. Your grandfather informed Jaemin that you had been giving all your time to take care of her, and you wouldn’t be visiting the castle any time soon.

Months went by, and you still hadn’t visited. Then your grandmother passed away, and Jaemin felt his heart breaking along with yours. He wished to visit you and comfort you. He wanted more than anything to gather you in his arms and assure you that he was there. He wouldn’t leave your side.

They would just be empty promises, he often had to remind himself. The truth was that he was a prince unable to ignore his duties just to comfort someone. His job was much bigger, unfortunately, and he had to tend to the needs of the kingdom before he could tend to the needs of you.

Although he wanted more than anything to just throw down his metaphorical crown and run back to you.

Worries haunted him day to day. What if you had forgotten about him? What if you thought he forgot about you? What if you thought he was deliberately ignoring you?

Unfortunately, his worries hadn’t lessened in the past two years. If anything, they only came back stronger. Especially since his parents had just announced that he would be betrothed to one of the ladies who lived in the kingdom.

All of this would explain the disheartened spirit of the prince as he sat on the turret.

He held a sword in his lap, one with badly whittled initials in the hilt. His nineteen-year-old hands were more worn than his seventeen-year-old hands. The pad of his thumb was rough against the smooth hilt of the sword.

Jaemin sighed and looked out at the view before him. Somewhere out there was your small cottage, playing as a shelter for you and your grandfather.

You didn’t know what had happened earlier that day. Jaemin wasn’t sure you would, until it was officially announced by the local newsboys. He wanted to tell you himself though, and ask what he was supposed to do about it. He wanted to ask how he could marry anyone when you were the only thing on his mind.

A guard appeared on the turret. “Your Highness? Her Majesty has requested that you come spend lunch with Lady Havergaud immediately.”

Jaemin turned slightly to assure the guard, “Coming!”

-

You pulled the wool blanket closer under your grandfather’s chin. “Don’t worry, alright? You’ll be fine.”

He coughed, and a jolt of fear ran up your spine as you thought of him perhaps having what your grandmother died of. He had been depressed since she died two years ago, and the stress weighed heavy on his shoulders as he still did smithing work for the kingdom.

“I have an order,” he said. “I have to deliver the swords to the castle.”

“I’ve got it,” you assured him. “You taught me everything, remember? This way I can take over while you’re recovering.”

“Are you sure you can handle it?”

“I’ve got it. Trust me.” You leaned down to kiss his cheek, “Now go to sleep, and when you wake up I will be back with a warm pot of soup waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Y/n.”

The past two years hadn’t really been kind to you either. You had taken over your grandmother’s work, along with daily deliveries and lessons from the forge. Your grandfather thought it was important for you to learn the trade that brought income into the house, so that if anything were to happen to him you could step up.

Unfortunately, that time came sooner than later, so you were stuck doing day-to-day work with little rest. Your smooth hands were replaced by the rough and calloused palms of a blacksmith. Your hair was cut short, to keep from getting caught in the metal and fire of the forge you worked in. Your skin was often covered in a layer of dirt by the end of the day.

Entering the forge, you picked up the many swords given to you by the castle guards only yesterday. It was important to work on the swords quickly, so you and your grandfather often lost sleep over the knight’s swords you had committed to cleaning.

You sheathed each of the swords and placed them in a large carpetbag. Then, swinging the bag over your shoulder, you began the long walk to the castle.

-

Upon your arrival, your heart beat rose at the thought of who lived behind the walls. You hadn’t forgotten about the prince, although you were sure he had forgotten about you.

Because of everything that had happened, you really hadn’t had any time to visit him, even though he invited you to. You were busy with more important things than following the prince around all day. No matter how fun the latter sounded, you owed it to your grandfather to help him in any way you could.

Once you showed him the bag of swords, the castle guard opened the gate and allowed you inside. You eyes widened in bewilderment as you gazed down the well-lit stone walls. The entire castle seemed bright and cheerful, despite being made of dark gray stone. It reminded you of Jaemin’s positive vibes, and for a fleeting moment you could hear his cheerful voice in your head, convincing the castle decorators to make the interior of the castle more bright and welcoming.

“Y/n?” You turned at the familiar voice, and the sword hilts against your back all clanged together at the sudden movement.

“Mark!” you said happily. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since you moved to the castle!”

“I’m great!” he answered. “I’ll be completing my knight’s training next year. How’s your grandfather?”

“Not good,” you sighed. “He’s gotten much weaker from all the stress of Grandmother being gone. He won’t admit it, but he needs to rest for awhile.”

“He hasn’t rested since the funeral, had he?” Mark guessed.

“Works distracts him,” you supposed. “It also adds more stress to him, which is why I want him to rest. I can work the forge while he’s gone.”

“Speaking of.” Mark grinned and reached up and pulled something out of your hair. “You’ve got some ashes in your hair.”

You shrugged. “That happens when you work in a forge. Now, do you know where I deliver these swords?”

“Oh, I’ll take them. I’m on my way to the practice ground right now.”

You transferred the carpet bag onto his back, the whole time looking around.

“How in the world did you carry these?” Mark groaned under the weight of the bag.

“Practice,” you mumbled, peering down the hall.

“He’s at lunch with his fiancée,” Mark answered your unasked question.

“Fiancée?” Your voice caught on the word, as if it pained you to actually say it.

Mark looked sheepish. “I forgot they hadn’t announced it yet. Jaemin’s betrothed to a Lady.”

“Oh. Well, wish him well for me.” You forced your lips to turn up in a smile, “I’ll be going now.”

-

You subconsciously played with the ring on your finger as you walked into your home. “Grandfather? I’m home!”

“How’d it go?” he yelled from his room, coughing the final word.

You entered his room. “How long have you been awake?”

“Only a few minutes,” he assured you. “Tell me, did you see Jaemin?”

You hated to disappoint him, seeing the twinkle in his watery eyes. “No. I only saw Mark. Jaemin’s engaged, you know.”

“Really?” Your grandfather tutted. “I never really understood rich people and their arranged marriages. How bad is it for the prince to marry the one he loves?”

“It’s been two years, Grandfather. We’ve both grown since then and I’m not quite sure he loves me in the same innocent, childish way he used to.”

“First love is always innocent and childish. True love is the most innocent love there is, Y/n. He asks about you all the time, so there must be some feelings still there.”

You smiled bitterly. “Thanks, Grandfather. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up. Now, let me make you some soup and then I’ll go back out to the market.”

“As you wish,” he replied. “Choose to stubbornly ignore my words.”

You laughed, “I can’t get my hopes up, Grandfather. I’ve got so much more to do now than pine after a prince.”

-

Jaemin stiffly bowed to the Lady Havergaud. Her first name was Gwen, but Jaemin wasn’t sure he was ready to call her by that just yet.

She was dressed like every other nobleman he knew. Bright and colorful clothes, powdered makeup, and hair done up extravagantly.

“Your Highness,” she spoke with a knowing lilt in her voice. “How marvelous to meet your acquaintance.”

“It’s just Jaemin,” the prince said awkwardly. He shifted from foot to foot as he waited for someone to rescue him from this awkward encounter. When no one intervened, he supposed he would have to save himself. “Well, let’s have some lunch. Mother is probably waiting for us.”

She accepted his arm, using her gloves hand to keep a firm grip on him. “You’re not very muscular,” she spoke honestly. “I thought princes went through training to become stronger.”

“I’m strong,” Jaemin retorted.

“Of course, Darling,” the way she said it was patronizing and condescending. “When we marry, I’ll put you under a special diet and training program that will surely make your more buff and fit.”

Jaemin bit his lip to keep from biting back a sharp remark. Why did he have to be buff to run a kingdom? And, he would have her know, he was already fit.

“Be sure to eat more, okay?” She said. “I want my husband to be the envy of all the land.”

Jaemin couldn’t believe his ears. “Does my royal title mean nothing to the ladies?”

Gwen laughed loudly and slapped his arm. “You’re cute. When we’re married, let me do the talking at social events, okay?”

Jaemin gritted his teeth and only nodded. But deep inside there was a pang of regret and despair, knowing this would be his future.

Couldn’t he just run away? Couldn’t he just stop being prince for one moment and go on another adventure?

Couldn’t he go see you one last time?

Instead, he was stuck with someone who obviously only liked him for his title, and was already planning on changing him. Wonderful.

-

“Grandfather, you need to drink some water. If you get dehydrated, the sickness could get worse.” You struggled to get him to drink anything.

For the past few days, his fever had worsened. Now he was both throwing up and convulsing. Fear struck your heart, since he was doing everything your grandmother had done before she passed away.

If you could afford the cure for your grandfather, you could avoid the heartache. He could get better and you wouldn’t have to go through the pain of losing someone again.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t afford it. The village healer made that clear during his visit. “If you go to the castle healer, you can request the cure. However, I can guarantee it’s going to be worth an arm and a leg. I’m sorry.”

“Do they take exchanges?” you asked. “My grandmother has a watch I could trade for it.”

He nodded slowly, “It might work. I would definitely try it.”

“I will. Thank you.”

-

Jaemin picked up a vial of medicine and sniffed it. “What’s this?”

Jeno, the castle healer and Jaemin’s long-time friend, answered from the other side of the shop. “It’s for indigestion.”

“Hm,” Jaemin commented. He waited for his friend to turn away before he tipped the vial back and drank it’s contents.

“Jaemin, I swear—” Jeno looked at the empty vial and then the guilty grin adorning the prince’s face. “You can’t try a new medicine every time you come in here. You’re lowering my stocks.”

“It’s all natural remedies,” Jaemin said. “I’m not hurting anything. Besides, I might have indigestion.”

Jeno stopped at stared at his friend, “Jaemin, what is indigestion?”

The prince averted his eyes to the side. “Okay, well I don’t have to know what it is to suffer from it, do I?”

The bell hanging above the front door rang, signaling the arrival of a customer. Jeno excused himself and went behind the curtain, where the front of office was located. “Hello! How can I help you?”

Jaemin stayed in the back, doing what he was supposed to be doing in the first place: avoiding his fiancée and helping Jeno label his remedies.

“Hi. My village’s healer said you had a cure for me? He said he talked to you about it.”

Jaemin stopped his actions, feeling a nostalgic memory hit him instantly.

Y/n. That was your voice. It had to be.

Jaemin bit his lip as he tried to concentrate on the unnamed label in front of him. Still, he couldn’t seem to think of anything, save you and what you were doing at the castle healer’s.

Were you hurt? Was your grandfather hurt? Jaemin wasn’t sure he could face either possibility.

Stealthily, he crept towards the curtain and peaked it open ever so slightly, so that he could catch a glimpse of you.

He felt his heartbeat quicken and his thoughts go to mush as he saw you. It had been so long, and yet he hadn’t forgotten your youthful smile. It was the same even now, yet Jaemin could see a smudge of worry behind your upturned lips.

Your skin was darker, perhaps from the sun. Your hair was much shorter, and Jaemin thought that the way your messy strands ended at you shoulder looked cool and attractive. You seemed older, more mature than before, but as was he.

Jaemin felt like bursting through the curtain to give you the biggest hug. Unfortunately, he still lacked courage, and that kept him rooted in his place.

“Ah, you’re Y/n,” Jeno’s voice returned. “I’ve kept the cure safe in my pocket all day. Have you got your money?”

“Actually,” your voice shook, “can I trade something for it? I have a watch…”

Jeno accepted the watch and turned it over, this way and that.

Jaemin studied your anxious face, and he wished Jeno would just let you take the remedy free of charge.

“I can’t accept this,” Jeno said. “It isn’t real gold, so it’s worth isn’t much.”

“Oh.” You looked down, disheartened. Then, your expression grew hopeful.

Jaemin followed your gaze to your hands, where he saw on your third finger a ruby ring. It was the same promise ring he had given you just two years prior. An oath made so that the two of you would never forget each other. Jaemin’s heart lifted. Did you still think about him, too?

“I have this ring,” you said, struggling to pull it off of your finger. “It’s a real ruby.”

Jeno took the ring from your hold and nodded. “That’s perfect. Are you sure you want to give it up?”

“I’m sure,” you answered quietly. “It’s not very important.”

If a heart was made of glass, Jaemin’s would be in pieces right now. Servants would be scrambling to sweep up the shards as they fell onto the cold, hard floor.

Wasn’t important? Jaemin understood completely why you had to sell the ring, but why did you have to say it wasn’t important?

Did that mean he wasn’t important? Did you not remember him? Or worse, you did remember, you just simply didn’t care.

Jaemin retreated from the curtain and went back to his labels. Now his work was quicker, albeit quiet and solemn.

When Jeno returned, he looked at Jaemin carefully, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Is indigestion a broken heart?” Jaemin asked his healer friend. “Because I think I have it.”

Jeno stood still for a moment. “Actually, it’s gas, but I suppose a broken heart probably feels the same.”

-

Your finger felt empty. Throughout the next month, you were constantly aware of the ring’s absence.

Still, it was worth it, since your grandfather was returning to health rather quickly. By now, he could even visit the forge for a few hours each day.

The wedding was approaching quickly, and there were only three weeks to prepare. The queen had ordered that special rings be forged for the couple. According to Mark, Jaemin had spent weeks trying to convince his mom to let your grandfather forge his rings. Apparently he was still Jaemin’s number one influencer.

Your grandfather spend as many hours as he could, molding and forging rings only to realize he wished for a different design and start all over.

“It doesn’t feel right,” he would always say to you. “Of all the things Jaemin has told me, I have no idea why he would go through with this marriage.”

You shrugged in the middle of shoveling more coals into the fire. “Perhaps he likes her.”

“Yeah, right,” your grandfather snorted. “Remember last week, when Jaemin invited me for tea?”

You bit your lip. Jaemin had somehow found out about your grandfather’s recovery, so to celebrate he asked him to come for tea with his fiancée. Your grandfather was never allowed in the castle, however, because Jaemin’s fiancée wouldn’t let him come in. She said he was too dirty, with his fingertips blackened and his shirt carrying the sweat of a hardworking old man.

You heard from Mark that when Jaemin found out, he was furious, and even tried to visit the forge and apologize. You also heard that he was stopped, once again, by his controlling fiancée.

Still, these accounts were coming from two people who wanted you and Jaemin together. For all you knew, they could be lying, and she could be the nicest person you’ve never had the chance of meeting.

Until today.

Your grandfather had just gone back to the house to clean up and sleep for the night, but you stayed up, busy carving flower designs into some recently discarded rings.

“Hello!” someone shouted.

“We’re closed!” you replied, not looking up from your work. “Please come back tomorrow morning!”

You turned to see a woman coming in anyway, a familiar object in her hand. “Actually,” she spoke with a sort of haughtiness about her. “I’m the future princess so I think I can come in.”

“No,” you replied respectfully. “I have to get to sleep soon. Please come back in the morning, Your-Future-Highness.”

You bowed slightly, signaling her to leave the forge. Instead of respectfully leaving, she came closer. “My husband’s sword needs to be fixed. He said this part was getting old and he wants a new handle.”

“Hilt,” you corrected, feeling peeved at the fact that she called Jaemin her husband. They weren’t married yet.

“Whatever. Just have it polished and ready by our wedding day. I don’t want to see those ugly marks on it, alright?” With this, she dropped a sack of gold onto the stool behind you.

“Okay,” you agreed, not really connecting the pieces quite yet.

Then, as soon as she left and you glimpsed down at the sword, it became clear. It was Jaemin’s sword that he had made when he lived here. The hilt was the same, carved with his initials and yours. More things had been carved through the past years, like a small rose in the corner, and something similar to a heart.

Your memory stirred as you looked at the sword. Your heart was both elated and discouraged.

Did Jaemin really wish to erase this part of his life?

You set the sword aside, not having the strength to do it that night.

-

“Hey, where were you last night?” Jaemin asked the next morning on his way to the practice field. He had some free time that he wanted to spend with Mark, who had been teaching him the latest knight techniques.

His fiancée usually visited him every night to complain about something or other, and although Jaemin couldn’t say he missed it, it did make him curious as to why she hadn’t visited him the night before.

“I took your sword to that forge you always talk about and asked the person there to fix the handle.”

“Hilt,” he corrected.

Gwen rolled her eyes, “They said that same thing and it’s quite annoying. I swear I’m going to get wrinkles from all the stress you cause me. Anyway, I thought you would appreciate having those horrid marks removed from the handle. It would make it prettier on our wedding day.”

“WHAT?” Jaemin shouted, “You asked her to remove them?! Those marks are my memories! They’re the best memories I have! Why would you do something like that without asking me?”

Gwen shrugged, “I didn’t think it matter. Now I see it does. Sorry.”

Her apology didn’t sound the least bit sincere, and it took every fiber of Jaemin’s being to keep from saying something he shouldn’t have. Instead, he used his anger to fuel him as he ran down to your village in the hopes of getting his sword back, completely intact.

-

You bit your thumb nail and stared at the sword as if it were going to move. How could you restructure a hilt when the past one had so many memories? Why would you want to?

Your grandfather was still in bed, since it was the early crack of dawn. The only reason you were up was because you couldn’t sleep, and the past night was filled with tossing and turning and thinking about the prince.

You needed to stop. It had been two years. He hadn’t come back. You hadn’t gone to visit. It was time to forget Jaemin once and for all.

You picked up the sword, ready to completely redo the hilt, until a loud banging on the door caught your attention.

“Wait!” the outside voice called, “Let me in!”

You hurried to open the door, wondering who could be so distraught at such an early hour. Your breath caught in your throat as you beheld the prince, in the flesh, standing in front of you.

Jaemin was flustered, leaning with his palms against his knees as he inhaled long intakes of breath. “My sword,” he wheezed. “Don’t ruin it.”

“Jaemin…” the sword dropped to the ground as you stared at him. He was taller, yet just as you remembered him before with that same mischievous glint in his eyes.

When he finally caught his breath and straightened up, you engulfed him in a tight hug.

“Woah!” he laughed before wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the ground momentarily. “I thought I wasn’t important.”

Although his voice was teasing, his eyes held a certain fear in them that you couldn’t place. You let go of his neck, allowing your hands to slid towards his chest as you looked into his eyes. “Who told you that?”

“You did!” he said, his grip on your waist slacking only slightly. “When you gave the ring to Jeno.”

You slapped the prince’s chest, “Of course it was unimportant at the time! I needed medicine. I never said you weren’t important, though. Why would you think that?”

“I’ve been a horrible friend,” Jaemin replied quickly, “I haven’t visisted you in two years. Even when your grandmother died, I did nothing. I could’ve visited you or sent some money or anything but I didn’t.”

You gave him a soft smile. Everything felt better suddenly, and you wondered how you and Jaemin could return to easy conversation after having not seen each other for two years. It felt as if it had only been a few days, and the wait was worth it. “I know you’ve been busy,” you comforted him. “You’ve got a lot of stuff to do at the castle.”

Jaemin sighed and pulled you close to him again, burying his head into the crook of your neck. “What do I do?” he mumbled, tickling your sensitive skin. “I don’t want to marry her.”

“Why not?” you asked sardonically. “She’s an absolute peach.”

Jaemin laughed against your neck, and you felt goosebumps hearing your favorite sound for the first time since he left. “Isn’t she?”

“Come in,” you said, letting go of him and leading him away from the forge. “Grandfather will be awake soon and I know he’d want to see you.”

The two of you walked towards the cottage, shoulders bumping occasionally.

“We should go on another adventure while I’m here,” Jaemin said. “Maybe we could go back to the cave and I can see those fish again?”

He hadn’t changed at all, and you felt comforted by that fact. For there you were, more quiet and subdued after all that had happened. After you had to take the title as head of the house. You wondered if that bothered Jaemin: him coming back to a different you.

“I’ll take you to the cave after breakfast,” you assured him, smiling when he pumped his fist victoriously.

Inside of the cottage, Jaemin entered the kitchen before you could close the door behind you.

“It’s the same!” he cheered. “Nothing has changed!”

You leaned against the doorway of the kitchen and chuckled at his childlike excitement. “Grandfather thought changing it would be an insult to Grandmother’s memory.”

Jaemin suddenly frowned. “I should’ve visited her.”

“She wouldn’t have wanted you to,” you spoke honestly. “She didn’t want the prince to see her in such a state. She wanted you to see her when she was still beautiful.”

Jaemin smiled bitterly, “She was always beautiful.”

You walked forward and hugged him from the back, pressing your forehead in between his shoulder blades. “Don’t think about it too much, Jaemin.”

“Alright,” he whispered, placing his hands over yours.

“Now let’s make breakfast before Grandfather wakes up,” you said, hoping to lighten the mood.

-

“My babies! I’ve come home!” Jaemin said, dropping his bag and dramatically running over to the dark lake.

You dropped your bag as well. The two of you decided it would be fun to go camping inside of the cave, mostly because Jaemin had a scary story he insisted could only be told during the witching hour. Apparently, no one in the castle had wanted to hear it, so you were his last hope.

Jaemin dipped his hand into the water, giggling to himself as the fish swam by and tickled his skin.

You found yourself staring at him, and your mind felt like a puddle of goo as you thought about how great he was. How much you wished he wasn’t getting married, so that to two of you could have adventures like this forever.

He made you feel young again: youthful and free to do nothing but play around with the hidden wonders of the world. You were quite sure you loved the boy.

Jaemin looked up at you, and your heart stopped for a moment as you wondered if you had spoke your thoughts aloud. “Y/n, come see them!”

Sighing in relief that your secret hadn’t been found out, you happily went to sit beside Jaemin and watch his precious fish swim around.

“I really like them,” Jaemin spoke into the silence of the cave. “Watching them swim around makes me feel like I did two years ago, when everything was okay.”

“Tell me about it,” you mumbled.

Jaemin smiled at you, “We sound like old adults.”

“I know,” you replied, “It’s tragic.”

Jaemin elbowed you lightly, “You’re tragic. I’m awesome.”

“Shut up.”

Jaemin leaned forward and placed his hand in the water again, and you caught the long white scare lining his palm. “It scarred.”

“What? Oh, yeah.” Jaemin pulled out his hand and held it towards you, palm facing upwards. “I was a bit careless back then, wasn’t I?”

“Like you aren’t now,” you countered. You traced the scar carefully with your finger.

Jaemin suddenly grabbed your hands, “They’re rougher than they used to be.”

You squirmed at his words, “Sorry they aren’t dainty enough for you.”

“No!” Jaemin said suddenly. “I was just observing. There’s nothing wrong with rough hands. It means you’ve worked hard.” Then he pulled your hand to his mouth and kissed your knuckles. “Y/n?”

“W-What?” you stuttered, feeling warm under his gaze.

“Can we hold hands like we used to?”

“I don’t think we ever held hands, Jaemin,” you replied quickly. In fact, you knew it. You and Jaemin hadn’t done anything of that sort when he came to live with you. Except maybe all those times he clung to you when he was bored. That didn’t count though, did it?

“Yeah, we did,” he argued. “When you helped me feed the rabbit.”

“That’s hardly hand holding.” You laughed at him. “You were afraid and I helped you feed the rabbit. We weren’t holding hands.”

Jaemin rolled his eyes dramatically, “Can I just hold your hand? Whether we did it in the past or not?”

“What about your fiancée?” you asked nervously.

Jaemin linked your fingers with his own and smiled at the finished product. “I don’t want to get married to her, so I won’t.”

“How are you gonna get out of it?”

“I have no idea.”

-

Jaemin looked at you with the scariest glare he could muster as he held a lit torch under his chin. In reality, he looked like a constipated dragon.

You tried to contain your giggles as Jaemin continued his story, “So she was never seen again and no one remembered her. The only one who did was that lone fisherman, who could still hear her cries throughout the dock.”

You slapped your hand over your mouth, yet you couldn’t stop the laughter from spilling out of your mouth. “That wasn’t scary at all!”

Jaemin pouted from above the flame, “Really? I worked hard on that one.”

“How hard did you work on it?” you giggled, falling onto your back as you couldn’t stop laughing.

Jaemin frowned and crawled over to you, peering down at your face. “I spent a whole three weeks coming up with that story.”

You smiled up at Jaemin from your spot on the floor, “You’re a dork.”

Jaemin returned your smile and plopped down, rolling over to lay beside you on the ground. “You love me.”

You stayed quiet. Then, perhaps because it was dark and you couldn’t see his face in case he rejected you, you answered, “Yeah. I do.”

Hesitantly, you turned your head to the side to see Jaemin already looking at you in the low light. His smile had grown, and he was quiet as he stared at you. “Really?”

“I mean of course,” you shrugged. “It’s not like we don’t love each other, right?”

Jaemin’s smile fell and he looked up at the cave ceiling. “If…” He exhaled softly and closed his eyes before continuing, “If I can’t get this engagement to end, please don’t think I don’t love you back. Please don’t think you haven’t been the first thing on my mind since I left. Please know that I love you so much and I would love nothing more than to go on a different adventure with you every day, even if that adventure was just delivering swords for your grandfather. If I can’t get this to end, please don’t think my feelings for you aren’t real.”

“I won’t. I promise,” you whispered, reaching for Jaemin’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

-

It was the night before the wedding. You knew, because the entire village was covered in flowers and festive wreaths for the prince. Funnily enough, none of them mentioned the future princess.

You felt numb the whole night, pondering what it would feel like when the newsboys would run down the road and announce that the prince was officially married. Your heart felt heavy as you continued with your chores.

Your grandfather left to go to the wedding, having to deliver the rings and wishing to visit Jaemin beforehand. He pushed you to come along with him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go. There was no way you could see him again, knowing he would be married the next day. There was no way you could watch Jaemin vow to love someone else for the rest of his life. There was no way you could watch the mischievous light in his eyes fade to misery at the distant future. There was no way you could watch him kiss someone else.

Instead, you stayed home and continued your work before washing up and heading to bed.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t sleep, so you wrapped a large blanket around your shoulders and climbed up to the roof.

It was silent, as the majority of your village had turned in for the night. Only the distant sounds of neighbors still up, chatting in low voices, could be heard.

You could see the castle from your perch, and you wondered if Jaemin was there now, sleeping the night away before his wedding. The night before his entire life would change, and yours with it.

You couldn’t hold it against him. It was his duty to get married to someone before he took over as a king. Still, it pulled on your heartstrings that he was marrying someone he didn’t love, and someone who didn’t love him in return. Sure, you were going to be lonely with out him, but he was going to live the rest of his life with someone he didn’t love. That had to be the worst fate of all.

You shivered at the cold wind and pulled your blanket closer to your body.

“I found you again!”

You jumped at the voice and turned around to see Jaemin climbing up to the roof, a cheeky grin on his face. “What are you doing?” you hissed. “Your wedding is tomorrow.”

Jaemin shook his head, “Only if she says yes.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused, until Jaemin threw a familiar velvet box at you. You caught it and opened it to reveal the ring you had recently traded. The ring you loved. The ring that symbolized your promise to never forget Jaemin.

“If you agree, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We can have our own adventures every day, and your grandfather can even move to the castle so we can be near him. I understand if you don’t want to become a princess, but unfortunately that’s the only life I can offer you.” Jaemin looked at you with pleading eyes, “Please say you’ll marry me.”

You pulled the ring out of the box and pushed it onto your finger. “Jaemin, what about your fiancée?”

“She was just as happy to end it as I was. Mother said I should’ve told her sooner that I was already in love with someone. She said I proved my sincerity to her, and any girl who helped me do that was deserving of the princess title.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment. “It wasn’t all me. You’ve always been sincere in your feelings.”

“Maybe,” Jaemin agreed, “but you help me express them. Now please answer my question.”

“Oh,” you grinned. “Of course I’ll marry you. I thought that was obvious.”

“Yay!” Jaemin tackled you in a hug, constricting you as you were still cocooned in your blanket. “We’re going to literally be best friends forever.”

You giggled, “I can’t wait.”

~the end~

[youtuber-imagines-and-things]

Yeay, I'd enjoy that :D

Here it is! I started it yesterday so some are from yesterday….

1. What have you eaten today?

Pretzels and tacos


2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

I’ve never kissed anyone, my dude


3. What color shoes did you last wear?

Black


4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

The kid I babysit 


5. What is your favorite scent?

Fresh, warm laundry 


6. What is your favorite season? Why?

…. fall? I suppose. I love all of them. But fall because it’s so beautiful and I love how the air feels and the sound of leaves crunching under your feet


7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

No but I used to be able to do both


8. What color are your nails?

Light brown


9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

Just a small dot. I wouldn’t want a tattoo on my face but I can think of some tattoos I would get on my arms


10. What is something you find romantic?

Stargazing tho


11. Are you happy?

I’m just tired


12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

Happy: Tyler Oakley, you guys, my dog, Tony Bennett, Ed Sheeran, Hamilton

Sad: Certain Jimmy Buffett songs (weird, I know)


13. Dogs or Cats?

Do not do this to me


15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

Uhhhhh….. museum…. forest…. and library????? I love them all????


15. What is your style?

I don’t really have one? One day I’ll be “90’s”, the next I’ll be in sweatpants, the next I’ll be all dressed up…. just depends 


16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

Sleeping


17. Are you in a relationship or single?

Single, which I like right now 


18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

I don’t like anyone right now so, yep


19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

I would never replace my best friend or partner but I would totally wanna be friends with Mark or Tyler Oakley 


20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

Hell yeah I am. I’m holding on to every awkward thing I’ve ever done


21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

By handing out candy with my parents 


22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

Not really


23. Were you ever in a school play?

Yes!!! I was a ladybug. And my character was worried about everything, ahhhh… predicting the future since kindergarten 


24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

Toby Migure’s SpiderMan movies….. a joke 


25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

I’ve already done what I wanted to! I wanted to drive around the country and I got to for a month and a half


26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

…all of my insecurities and things I worry about 


27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

I’m going to go with things I remember about girls from school because they were all exactly the same

They are not open minded at all and they spread rumors constantly 


28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Again, going with what I remember from school

They are also not open minded and they think being racist, sexist, and homophobic is funny


29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

Seeing those pics I reblogged of the cat made my week


30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

this world 


31. How long was your longest relationship?

I don’t really count it bc I was like 10 but my longest friendship has lasted 10 years! Going on 11 this year


32. Have you ever been in love?

No


33. Are you currently in love?

No


34. Why did your last relationship end?

Again, don’t count it


35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

Just moon earrings that I think I got from a little shop in Georgia… maybe a place in Oregon? Or Texas😂 one of those three!


36. When was the last time you cried and why?

A few weeks back and I don’t even know why


37. Name someone pretty.

You


38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

My sister and I bought each other chocolate and watched rom-coms 


39. Do you get jealous easily?

Nah


40. Have you ever been cheated on?

No


41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?
YES

42. Ever had detention?

Nope


43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

Either? I love both 


44. What do people call you?

Emmer and Emmanuel and an onion


45. What was the last book you read?

I hate myselfie 


46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

……..


47. What kind of music do you listen to?

Pretty much anything from ‘40’s to now


48. How tall are you?

5'6" or so


49. Do you like kids?

Yes and no? I love certain kids that are being raised right and aren’t little dirt bags 24/7


50. Favorite fruits?

Cantaloupe, strawberries, mangos, red raspberries and blackberries 


51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans


52. What’s your earliest memory?

I don’t know how old I was (younger than nine) but it was basically waking up on Christmas to see my new trampoline and my brother took me out, in the snow, to jump on it


53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

No which I’m alright with


54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind


55. Do you have a collection of anything?

Stuff from my trips


56. Do you save money or spend it?

Kinda both?


57. What would your dream house be like?

It would be my old house which would take me a long time to describe


58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

People repeating the same dumb actions, HEaRinG PeoPlE chEw, people wrongly accusing others and not bothering to listen to every side of the story, people getting offended when you get defensive because they said something horrible, PEOPLE HATING ON MY BABY TONY STARK ALL DAY EVERYDAY 


59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

Tyler Oakley, my dogs, my cats, my brother, my best friend, *screaming bc this is six* Tony Bennett


60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog! I hate babysitting anyways and it’s a dog


61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a.) I’d tell whoever was close to meb.) spend time with those I love and maybe do something I never imagined myself doingc.) Probably 


62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

If there is a key, then there must also be a lock


63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Umm…. this is tough… I’d say St. Augustine, Florida. It’s a family tradition 


64. Do you like the beach?

Actually, not really. I LOVE the warmth/weather and I love being in the water but I absolutely HATE the sand. I don’t like the sand. It’s course and rough and irritating…


65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

I’ve shared a couch and bed with my best friend😂


66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

I do! McKenzie!


67. Do you talk to yourself?

All of the time


68. Describe your hair.

It’s dirty blonde with a dumbass light blonde streak that is fading away (I didn’t want the streak) and it’s like Mark’s hair


69. What is the meaning of life.

Honestly, I don’t know yet.


70. What is your ideal partner like?

Kind, open minded, funny, understanding, good listener, ANIMAL LOVER, I could go on…


71. Do you want to get married?

Maybe? I don’t really think about it much


72. Do you want to have kids?

Again, maybe.


73. Like or dislike your family?

Overall, I love my family. 


74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

Slim 


75. Would you consider yourself smart?

I suppose? I dont know, I think I’m pretty dumb.


76. What would you change about your life?

Not much really? I would like to change how I have anxiety but hey…


77. Religious or Not?

I’ve been questioning this lately! I’m not completely sure…….


78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

My sister


79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Nah bc I haven’t kissed anyone


80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Nope


81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I don’t wish to be with anyone right now 


82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

*opens door* Welcome in, nobody 


83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

FUCK YES


84. Do you like bubble baths?

YeSsSs


85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?No


86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

Yes!


87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

My brother and my best friend 


88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?“Fuck yeah, I have ten more minutes to sleep”


89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

Not in any order…. Ireland, England, Germany, Australia, Japan, Canada, New York City (loved it), Astoria Oregon, and Scotland 


90. How was your day today?

It was alright actually 


91. Play an instrument?

No but I was trying to learn guitar before my grandfather got sick. I didn’t go through with it


92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

fuck the ocean❤️


93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

I believe in both honestly


94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

No


95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

I guess?


96. When are you vulnerable?

It depends on what this means? I’m vulnerable when listening to music, lost in thought, when reading, writing, and when I’m out walking


97. How much free time do you have?

Too much. It never feels like free time though. It just feels like time when I bring myself down and feel sorry for myself 


98. Do you like to go hiking?

YES


99. Odd or Even Numbers?

both????


100. Would you ever go skydiving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

Possibly. I would be terrified but with the right person I’d be excited!