#i can name at least 4. or 5 i'm not mistaken about one from very old days
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No but the missbenny drama was something else I swear. People were legitimately convinced dan was having a public afair with her and cheating on phil. Or alternatively, the people who were such big phantis for years, and then dnp came out, so they did mental gymnastics for why they still aren't together, and they decided that dan is actually dating benny. Its so funny looking back
remember when it was Dan and all the Bens he interacted with <3
#i can name at least 4. or 5 i'm not mistaken about one from very old days#bless this mess#answered#ben
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Support System pt. 7
MASTERLIST
CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6
Roy Kent x Reader
Little wait for this one, I wanted Chapter 6 to marinade a bit 😂
More spicy spice so enjoy!
Chapter 7
The next day you were again woken shortly before 4am again with a breathtaking kiss.
“Oi, not fair. Did you know I’m statistically less prepared to defend myself from some weirdo attacking me at this stupid time in the morning?” You roll over, mumbling into the pillow. You remember that he doesn't even need to be awake, "also, why the hell are you awake? Go back to sleep. You’ve got a match later." He doesn't respond, so you open one eye,
"How do you know that?" He asks, pulling you against him.
"Saw it on Tiktok. Sleep now." You nudge him, wiggling back down.
"Stop wiggling." He says, his voice low in your ear. You stop, and close your eyes but after a few minutes it's clear that you are, unfortunately, awake. You sigh. "What now?"
"You woke me up." You complain. “If you think I’m going to be woken up at 4am every morning, you are very much mistaken,” he slips a hand over your thigh, pulls your leg up and hooks it back over his own, opening you up to him. His hand comes back around to your centre, “I will just never spend a night with you again and-” you cut off with a gasp as he slips two fingers inside you and pumps so agonisingly slowly,
“You were sayin’?” He kisses the back of your neck and you arch your body towards him.
“I’m not staying again.”
“No?” You feel him rock hard against your back and your willpower is all but gone. “Sure about that?”
“No, ohhh fuck, Roy-”
“No,” he laughs softly, “didn’t think so.” You roll onto your back and pull him over you, pressing your heels into the back of his thighs to guide him into you. It’s still so dark in his room that you can hardly see him so you let your hands lead you. Up his arms, over his broad back, down to squeeze his thigh, back up and into his hair. He matches you with each roll of your hips. It’s slow and lazy and there’s so little space between you both that the friction is to die for. The darkness makes you both quieter, his whispered affirmations, praise and moans are dizzying. He takes you over the edge with him and you’re both asleep again almost instantly.
~~~~~~~~
Roy had suggested that you stay again. He had said that while pressed against the glass of a shared shower with you on your knees for him, though. His hands had tangled in your hair and he'd garbled promises you weren't sure he'd remember in five minutes, let alone five hours so you weren’t actually sure where you were staying that night. You were going to the match at midday with Sara and Phoebe which meant coded conversations over Phoebe’s head.
“Go on then.” She prompts.
“What?”
“No.” She points, “no. I got blank stares from him yesterday until I mentioned your name and he went all doe eyed. What’s going on?”
“If you’ve spoken with him then surely you already know?” You suggest, trying not to smile. She glares at you and you’re suddenly worried that she’s not ok with any of this. “Ok, fine. I popped in to see him the other night after I’d taken Lex to her dads… I may have stayed the night. And last night as well. And possibly tonight - yet to be confirmed.” You had to whisper most of your reply so Phoebe didn’t catch on. “Shit, are you mad?"
"No! Fuck, sorry, it's the Kent genes - resting bitch face. God, I'm not mad! I have like 1000 questions - at least 997 I don't want to know the answer to since,” she dropped to a dramatic whisper, “he's my brother.” She grinned and gestured down to Phoebe, “She’s going to be so happy!” She mouthed. “Are you ok? I mean, I’m assuming the answer is yes, since you stayed more than one night and didn’t leave immediately?” She cackled. You nod, stealing a glance down at the pitch as the halftime whistle sounds. Roy turns to the stands as the teams filter off the pitch to catch your eye.
“Yeah, so far so good. It’s… different.” Sara cocks an eyebrow.
“Now I’m in torn territory - do I want to know or not?” You wave her off,
“No! I mean, yes, that’s very different too - I’m not used to feeling so…” you flap your hands around a bit, trying to find the right words, “wanted?” you whisper. “In all ways. But y’know, it’s very, very early days. I have no idea what’s going to happen, or how it’s going to go. I’m just trying to protect myself, and Lexie.” She smiles at you,
“I think you wouldn’t have gone over there if you were that unsure. You wouldn’t just, y’know, do that with anybody. And neither would he.” She points out.
“Yeah?”
“Remember what we said at the beach? Honestly, that’s not his style.” You know it’s true so you concede and carry on with watching the match. The team wins - they’re so close to winning the whole thing, the whole town feels like it’s on tenterhooks.
“Congratulations.” You smile after the match, you can see in how he clenches and unclenches his fist that he wants to touch you, but Phoebe is bouncing up and down on his other arm chattering on about how she can’t wait to see Jamie.
“We’re going back to mums, you coming?”
“Only if you want me there?” Phoebe spots Jamie through the crowd and races after him, Sara has to book it after her. His hand finds the small of your back guiding you over to them,
“I want you every fucking where.” He whispers in your ear as you reach the others. You have a fun but fraught afternoon, Jamie comes too and you can see how he keeps engaging Phoebe. You're not sure whether it’s a help or hindrance having him around. He keeps Phoebe and her nan occupied enough that Roy can use any excuse to find little ways to touch you, but he’s also very perceptive and can’t seem to fathom why one of Phoebe’s friend’s mums is there. Sara claims you as her best friend and it appeases him. You’re very nearly caught with Roy’s hand halfway up your top in the far end of the kitchen but just as Jamie is about to turn and see you, Phoebe calls out to him to get his attention. By the time he turns back around, there’s a couple of strategic metres between you both. Your phone buzzes late on with a message.
Please tell me you’re stopping at mine again. You smirk and fire off a reply,
Is that you asking nicely?
I asked nicely this morning
Surprised you can remember anything you said this morning
I remember everything about this morning
You look up to see him trying to hide a smile behind his beer bottle. You’re barely inside the front door when he’s backing you against the wall and there’s probably some kind of record beaten in just how quickly he makes you come.
~~~~~~~~
The kids are back at school, you haven’t enjoyed a 4am wake up for three days, you’re still jobless, you’re expected at a gala with Roy’s co-workers in two days, and you still haven’t found anything to wear. He’s offered his card (multiple times) for you to ‘buy whatever the fuck you want as long as I can take it off’. Switchover day for Lexie is tomorrow, closely followed by the gala. It’s been a busy few days so despite school runs you haven’t even seen Roy for a good few days. Sara has collected Lexie on your behalf so you swing by on your way home to pick her up. You peek around to say hello to the girls sprawled out on the sofa and then you’re dragged to the far end of the kitchen.
“So the Gala huh?"
"He told you?"
"He said you were stressing over what to wear, suggested I take you to find something while he hangs out with the kids this evening." At that, the front door opened. "I'll let you have a couple of minutes alone since you haven't seen each other for such a long time." She rolled her eyes in jest.
"You're both sneaky." You point out as Roy's arms wrap around you.
"Not true," he says into your ear. "Thanks, dickhead." He smiles at his sister. Sara gives him a little salute and grabs some snacks to take to the girls. You turn in his arms, "Fuck, I missed you."
"I missed you. Had to watch that press conference for a fix, and then you made me cry." You laugh.
"I need to try and keep my hands off you for half a week. Think I’ll manage as long as they're on you as much as possible for the other half a week."
"Deal." You may have been apart for half a week, but you've spoken every day. 'Lexie' days are in his calendar for at least the next few weeks. "I have a big problem." You whisper, he looks down between you both making you snigger. "No, you idiot. My problem is that it's been way too long since you last kissed me."
"Shit, that is a big problem," he agrees.
"It gets worse," you pause for dramatic effect, "If you do it now, I'm not going to want you to stop and we'll get in trouble with your sister and the kids."
"I mean, that sounds like a problem for you more than me. Cos I'm going to fucking kiss you anyway."
"You have to be in charge of stopping then." He's halfway to kissing you when he stops,
"I think I like the sound of that a bit too much." You smirk and meet him in the middle, snaking your arms around his neck.
“Right, that’s time up.” Sara came back through with her eyes covered. “We’ve got to go and get you something wonderful to wear.” Roy reluctantly lets you go with a final kiss, and then goes to make his presence known with the girls. You’re barely out the door when they’ve put a tiara on his head.
~~~~~~~~
You’re not having much luck with a dress.
“This one?” You step out of the changing room for what feels like the millionth time.
“Nah, too plain.”
“I hate this. Is it too late to just not go?” You go back behind the curtain and take the dress off. There’s two more left to try, one baby pink and one royal blue. Chelsea blue you think, taking the dress from the hanger.
“You can’t not go, he wants you there. Plus, think of the afterparty” She winks before making a fake vomiting sound. “God, it pains me to have to think about my brother in this context.”
“Ha! Sorry. Oh holy fucking shit.” You squeak.
“What? Ugh it’s not the pink one is it? I only picked that one up because the sales assistant suggested it. Is it gross?” She laughs. You step out of the changing room and her jaw drops. “Fucking hell. Hang on, stay there, what’s your shoe size?”
“6, why?” She disappears back into the shop and is back in a matter of seconds,
“I saw these on our way in here. They’re perfect.” She hands you the highest gold glitter heels you’ve ever seen and you step up into them, holding her hands for balance. She steps well back to take in the full effect. “That’s it - that’s the one. And it’s Chelsea blue, he’s going to lose his fucking mind.” You look in the full length mirror,
“The slit?”
“Is perfect, stop worrying.”
“The neckline?”
“He’s seen you naked love, it’s perfect. You are wearing the shit out of it.”
“It costs half my mortgage Sara!” You look at the tag.
“If I recall correctly, I’m under strict instructions to tell you - and this is word for word, obviously, ‘that’s not your fucking problem, buy the dress’. Such an eloquent man, my brother.” You’re torn,
“I’m not a charity case Sara,”
“I know. Look, he does this, it’s not about the money or thinking you're not independent or any of that shit. What it boils down to for him is that he’s taking away something that’s worrying you - he does it for me. Like picking Phoebe up from school for me, or training Jamie at 4am every sodding day. He finds the thing that’s worrying the people he cares about, and he tries to fix it.” Your eyes swim with tears and you hold your hands up in defeat.
“Ok, I get it. Worry eliminated.”
“Atta girl. Now, let’s go home.”
“I got rejections from the two interviews I had last week.” You tell her suddenly, the words tumbling from you.
“Ohh lovely, come here,” she pulled you into a hug and you cry on her shoulder,
“I just feel like such an idiot, why did I quit with nothing to go to? And I don’t want Roy to think I’m some sort of golddigger.”
“Why would he think that? He might be a total knob sometimes, but he’s not an idiot. I take it you haven’t told him yet?” You shake your head.
“Come on. Let’s go, a Roy Kent cuddle makes everything better.” You smile at her,
“A Sara one is pretty good too. Thank you.”
Roy has one child snuggled up on either side of him with a bowl of popcorn on his lap and Encanto on when you get back to Sara’s. You manage to take a very quick photo before any of them spots you.
“Mum!”
“Hiya poppet. Ready to go?”
“I’ll take you.” You flash him a smile,
“Thank you.” You pack Lexie’s stuff up and say goodbye to Sara and Phoebe, and are outside your front door all too soon. For some reason, Lexie is lingering around the front door so you're forced to wave Roy off with a smile.
“Laters Lex.”
“See ya Roy,” she grins at him. He disappears up the path and you start hustling her upstairs to get ready for bed. She’s still jumping on your bed when the door goes again.
“Stay here, I’ll be right back - start getting ready for your bath please.” You nip down the stairs and pull open the door. Roy Kent is back on your doorstep. “Oh my god, are you the Roy Kent? The really fit coach for Richmond?” You ask excitedly.
“Depends, can I have a kiss if I say yes?”
“Depends how long you make me wait for another one.”
“Tomorrow any good for you?” He leans on the doorframe.
“I can do tomorrow.”
“Good.”
“Good.” You tug at the bottom of his t-shirt and he steals an arm around your back to pull you into a deep, crushing kiss.
“Tomorrow?” He asks when he’s finally let you go. You can hear Lexie still jumping on the bed upstairs. You let your fingertips brush against the soft skin of his stomach underneath his t-shirt, making him shiver.
“See you tomorrow.” You give him a final kiss and let him go.
~~~~~~~~
You don't have to look far to see him the next evening, but it's still a surprise - he's parked up at the station and is out of the car, leaning against the door waiting to pick you up.
"Get in the fucking car." He grins, pulling you into a kiss as soon as you are in arms reach. "Ted had to ask me three times today if I was paying attention." You turn in your seat to look at him fully,
"Oh come on, that's bullshit!"
"It's true. Had to threaten to punch dicks - they all said I was too fucking happy and I was being
weird. I think Jamie’s onto me."
"Uhoh. Is the grumpy persona being destroyed?"
"Only around you." He puts a hand on your thigh while he drives, stopping off at yours. “Get some stuff, I don’t want to have to lose you for an hour every bloody morning.” He grumbles. You collect the things you know you’ll need. When you get to his place, he's already cooked.
"I could get used to this," you tease. "So this gala," you ask over some gorgeous Mediterranean vegetable dish, "your co-workers will all be there?"
"They will." He confirms, waiting for you to continue.
"And your ex?" you add quietly.
"Keeley will be there, yes." You nod, pushing your food around your plate.
"I met her once." He's still watching you, dinner finished with.
"Yeah?"
"I had to run an event she came to for work. She was really sweet."
"She is. I think you'll like her." He smiles reassuringly.
“And you're sure you want me to meet these people? Your people?”
“Yes, I am.” He said firmly. “You don’t have to tell any of ‘em about us - tell them whatever you want. They can take the piss out of me as much as they like. I really don't give a shit." He continues to reassure you in a number of exhilarating ways for the rest of the night. He leaves you at 4am yet again with a kiss that has your body clenching on nothing, desperate again for his touch. You’re half awake when he returns at 6 but it’s a horrible day outside already so he lets you know he’s going straight in the shower. You can hear the kettle, so you pull on the t-shirt he’s just taken off so you can go downstairs to make tea for you both. It’s not familiar, it’s an old Richmond home shirt. When he comes down, your leaning over the counter on your elbows reading from your phone and making notes on a scrap of paper while the tea brews. His arms circle you and to your surprise, you feel him press against you.
“Wow, hi.” You turn to face him with a little laugh.
“You’re wearing m’name,” he manages to say gruffly before kissing you roughly.
“Sorry, I just grabbed it to come down here, I’ll take it-”
“No.” He stops you, “No.” He says more firmly. He rests his forehead against yours, his hips still against you. Oh. It dawns on you. Oh. You kiss him briefly, nodding your understanding and turn back around for him, resting on your forearms. “Fuck,” you hear him, so quietly, “fuck. You wreck me.” He slips inside you with no real warning, filling you completely. He sets a wickedly punishing pace, the angle has you an incoherent mess and makes you come almost instantly. It’s fast and rough and utterly filthy, your name spills from him like a worshipping chant as he comes, dragging another orgasm from you as he does. When you’re able to stand, you turn back to him. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, his hands soothing the bruises he’s no doubt left on your hips. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-” he starts to say, you shake your head,
“No. Don’t be sorry, don’t be. I’d tell you if I wasn’t ok with something, ok?” You reassure him with a kiss.
#ted lasso#ted lasso fanfiction#roy kent#roy kent fanfiction#roy kent fluff#roy kent fic#roy kent x reader#roy kent imagine#roy kent smut#roy kent x you
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Hii!
Can I request a Lee!Zohakuten with any ler?
(When I say any I mean any. It could be like Gyutaro or something for all I care)
pls
.if not just ignore this!
Ooooh, I like this one! Sorry it took so long 😔
Ler: Rui (LowerMoon 5)
Lee: Zokahuten (UpperMoon 4)
The appearance and age of the demons was very confusing. Some looked at an age that was not correct, others were at the age at which they became demons and others, despite their advanced age, looked so young...
'I didn't know that Muzan-Sama had turned another child into a demon...'
'A child? Oh, Zokahuten? Hah! He only has the appearance, he is an old man', Rui raised his eyebrow in question.
Really? He knew that Akaza was one of the few "honest" demons, but, Hazotuken, that's what he said his name was, right?
No, wait, Zokahuten, yes, that's what he said, anyway, that demon looked young, he looked like a child. And if he wasn't, why was he wearing some kind of bib?
'Oh, Hantengu-San's age?' 'I thought his name was Zokahuten'
'Hehehe well little demon, he has many names! His BDA is amazing, don't you think? It can go from one to four! But, oh right, the question, if I'm not mistaken, he is around 400 or more years old, yeah, something like that, I hope that helps you!'
'Thank you, Douma-Sama...'
Well, that left him more doubts than answers. What did he mean by "go from one to four"? Did he multiply or divide? It was strange...
You will surely say that, for a demon, those questions are irrelevant, but remember that Rui, internally, is still a child, and like every child, he is curious, what did it matter if he was a demon, physically and, in part, mentally, he was an infant
Rui's curiosity about Zokahuten grew, it was something strange, maybe he was drawn to his appearance? His BDA? His distance from the others? Who knows, maybe it was everything.
'Kid, may I know, why have you been following me lately?', wow, that was fast.
'Well, it's just that, I've never seen you, I think, are you an UpperMoon?'
'Yeah, although maybe you haven't seen me because the real emotion is an old man crawling and I only come out when he requires protection'
'So, you're like some kind of older brother?'
'Eeeem, sure, whatever you say kid'
Rui's eyes sparkled, a brother who is willing to protect? It was a genuine bond, definitely, although, on second thought, wouldn't they be the same person?
'Hey, kid, what's wrong with you?'
'Stop calling me kid, I have a name and it's Rui.'
'Well... Rui... What's wrong with you? It's not like I care but, forget it, it's not worth it'
Record your words well Zokahuten, because when you least expect it, that will change.
'How did I end up here? How fucking annoying, damn it, I don't know if Karaku or Urogi were the ones who agreed to this, but I don't like it anymore'
'What's wrong with it?'
'Nothing. Now, if you don't mind... GET ME DOWN'
Oh yes, a tender moment (in quotes) between "brothers", of course, it wasn't exactly something enjoyable, but it was fun.
Since he became a demon, Rui discovered that he had a taste for being up high, he liked it, he felt so powerful and had an incredible view, childish things.
'It's okay, you can get down, anyway, I've already seen the landscape for a long time', finally, thought Zokahuten.
They got down, but Zokahuten felt, bad? If you could say it, he couldn't explain it, he felt a hint of remorse, damn, it was surely Aizetsu...
It didn't make sense, he was a demon, why did he feel that way? Although of course, he's a demon of emotions, oh fuck.
'Eeeeh? What are you doing?'
'Carrying you, isn't it obvious?'
'And what's the reason for that?'
'You stay quiet and I'll keep carrying you or I'll put you down and you can talk all you want. It's your choice brat', hey, treat the kid right.
Rui felt comfortable, it was comforting, he wasn't going to lie, he felt calm, he felt protected...
Few demons had managed to make him feel that way, as a human, he never had a brother or sister, but once he became a demon, he felt that, not with his spider family, but with some of the demons.
'Thanks, erm, I don't know what else to say, you took me by surprise...'
'Yeah yeah, shut up, if you say anything else I'll throw you out'
'You don't seem to mean it...'
Zokahuten growled, he wasn't going to deny it, he wasn't heavy, he was calm, he was used to the fights of the 4 clones and he felt it more like a release from not having to take care of a group.
Rui smiled and looked at him, he didn't know if he had seen well, but Zokahuten's horns were, red?
'Your horns, have changed color?'
'What? What the fuck are you talking about? Why are you talking in the first place? Shut up, I'm not going to deal with it.'
Well, who could resist touching them, how did they turn red? Were they somehow related to his feelings?
Wow, Zokahuten had more secrets and Rui wanted to find out. 'He-hey!'
'Does it hurt?'
'N-no, but i-ihit feels we-wehehird, your fingehers are co-cohold, don't do tha-hahat you damn brat,' yep, Rui definitely wanted to keep touching them.
Zokahuten couldn't do anything, in the first place, he didn't even know what was wrong with his body, why did he feel like that?
His horns were transmitting a desire to smile and laugh, how the hell was that possible?
'Ru-Ruhui..'
'You laughed? Wow, how strange. So you're ticklish?'
'Whahat do I ha-have? Don't tahahalk nonse-hehense, I'm not "ticklish", I don't e-eheven know wh-what thahahat is!'
'Me neither, but I've seen Daki and Gyutaro doing this many times, also Douma with Akaza, so...', well this was either weird or ridiculous or didn’t even make sense, how was this even possible?
First his horns are ‘tickly’ or whatever that shit is called, now, the UpperMoons also have the same reaction?
How inconceivable, and why the fuck did he allow Rui to keep doing this?! He didn’t like it, did he?
‘Ruhuhui..!’
‘Heh, the more you think about it, the more ticklish you seem to get, should I stop?’
‘Ye-yehehes! Uuuugh, what a strange feeling’, aha, yeah, ‘strange’.
Zokahuten sighed, but, internally, he wanted him to keep going? It wasn’t a bad feeling but, damn what was wrong with him?
‘They’re still red’
‘CAN YOU STOP LOOKING AT MY HORNS?!’
‘Do you want more?’
Zokahuten looked at Rui seriously and dropped him to the floor, calm down, Rui is fine, and Zokahuten, may have some problems, only if Rui decides to continue or chooses revenge.
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i'm sorry i'm just... figuring something out so... would you be able to talk about what internal voices "sound" like? with schizophrenia
In my case which. I am not a model for schizophrenia. I do need to note that. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia but generally have a type psychosis that worsen considerably with stress, which is described as dysthymic schizophrenia in my french diagnosis, but doesn't tend to follow the same constant severity of some of my schizophrenic peers.
So I will moreso talk about psychotic voices bc the only thing I'm certain of is that they are linked to psychosis, they might be able to happen in other disorders considering the blurriness of my own situation (I've for exemple also been diagnosed as a weird type of bipolar for a while).
Anyway, in my case, I could "hear" voices inside my head, who were very recognizably not from outside of it, I couldn't mistake it for someone talking to me. It was moreso like hearing you internal dialogue, but another voice you cannot control. I honestly interpreted it for years as a normal thing that happened to everyone due to that, and I'm not completely wrong in that assumption, as I've very much met other people, particularly commonly writers, who had voices that were semi to fully autonomous talking to them, but never seeked any diagnosis since it didn't impact their quality of life.
However in my case I had both recurring voices (characters with names and preferences, who I'll categorize as having tagged along for at least a few months) and non reccuring voices (very simplistic presences who did not have a name and were very single minded). An exemple of a recurring voice is Sunahbii, my headmate, who's an eldritch beast, is very independent, highly dislike sexual topics, etc. He feels like a person, and this is the type of voice I have that is analogous to an alter, and although they can be aggressive, they are not just so and can be reasoned. An exemple of non recurring voice could be a voice that shows up one evening to argue that someone followed me home. These voices have been practically always aggressive, cannot be reasoned, and pretty much are weird intrusive thoughts screaming at me in my brain.
The recurring type is rather rare, I've had a single one that was present since I was a young teen, Sunahbii, and around 4-5 at most in my life.
Both type of voices happen more when I'm in a psychotic state, but although I used to pretty regularly get new non recurring voices, I very very seldom got new recurring voices. The only time I can remember when I had an explosion of complex voiced was when I had my biggest psychotic break, and that case was correlated to feelings of switching, and generally very system like stuff, however, I'm,,,,, suspicious of that event as the nature of the psychotic break was partially tied to someone telling me they thought I was a system and that I had forgotten my trauma. It was not caused by that person, mind you, but while in a psychotic break I am very easy to influence and I theorize the very system like traits, which stopped after the psychotic break receded, were just how my psychosis reacted.
So tl;Dr :
- the voices are internal and not able to be mistaken for speech. They are like the voice you hear when you think words in your brain intentionally, I just don't control them and they have their own "tone".
- I have alter like voices that stick with me during a long period of time and keep a coherent personality, but also intrusive thought-like voices that stick just for the duration of the discussion and have no real personality.
- alter like voices can be aggressive but can be reasoned, intrusive voices are just. Kinda repeating whatever they're trying to say and it tends to be very unpleasant.
- I do not seem to switch naturally. I also experience derealization (outside world feels weird) but I do not dissociate or feel like I skip time. I do not have significant trauma. These are all specific to me, I do not really know if someone else with whatever I have could possibly switch.
- both type of voices went away upon taking antipsychotics. I have taken quetiapine (Seroquel I think in English?) and Loxapac, both seem to block them.
Hope that's enough to help.
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15 Questions!!! (or in this case -> 25)
Thankie to both @carrotblr , @legiomiam , and @awritingcaitlinfor the tags!
I'm doing this all in one go bc if I don't, I'm gonna completely forget
Carrot's 15 ->
Are you named after anyone? yep! my middle name references my great gran
When was the last time you cried? hahahahaaaAAAAAAAA
Do you have kids? depends? none of my own genetics, but more OCs than i can list… plus a couple of pseudo-adopted kiddos i became con-parent to
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Noooooo, never in my life have i ever 🥰
What’s the first thing you notice about people? vibes or hair color
What’s your eye color? 👓
Scary movies or happy endings? i really don’t do well with suspense, sooooo typical horror ain’t my strong suit??? lets just say my friends don’t take me to those anymore, but if we’re talking just my preference in endings, i’m only care if it was a satisfying conclusion that goes with the storyline. [by satisfying i mean did the story go through a full arc]
Any special talents? i’ve been told i do??? a current list includes but apparently isn’t limited to: archery, socializing [apparently???], having a random assortment of facts on any given hyperfixation i’ve had, tripping over royalty, and reading really fast while being slow as shit at typing
Where were you born? hell, not quite sure which lvl tho… 4 maybe?
What are your hobbies? what do i not have as a hobby? rn it’s renaissance recreation that is NOT ren faire and embroidery/textiles
Have you any pets? 3 cats, 1 doggo, and a fish
What sports do you play/have played? swimming, volleyball, and period archery are/were the ones i compete(d) in, but i also did boffer fighting as a kid
How tall are you? high end of average??? i grew really fast at a young age tho, so i towered over my elementary/middle school classmates. kept getting mistaken for an adult at 12 y/o
Favorite subject in school? SCIENCE
Dream job? i also would love to be a bestselling author, but becoming a novel editor would be fun too. the one i’m currently thinking of switching my major to - as i’m currently in the english dep with a focus in creative writing - is psychiatric neurology??? it’s always been fascinating to me especially after my way late audhd diagnosis
Legiom & Caitlyn's 10 ->
1. Do you prefer owls, capybaras, or flamingos?
OWLS! SKY CATS! i totally didn’t have a hyperfixation on ornithology with a focus in raptors as a kid… did you know an owl’s feathers are different from a hawks? the hawk’s wing feathers have ‘hooks’ that hold their feathers together? most birds have that feature in their feathers - it’s why the strands of individual flight feathers can be hard to break up, but owls don’t have such strong ones! owls also have small structures fluffing up from their flight feathers, and both of these features breaks up the air currents around their wings, not only allowing for near silent flight but also incredibly slow speeds - barn owls can glide as slow as 2 miles or 3.22 km per hour! there are variations of course —
2. What is your favorite soup?
uuuuhhh, does stew count as a soup??? if so, then there was this really great guinness based lamb stew i had in a small hole in the wall in ireland during my semester there
3. What is your favorite…rock (idfk)?
carnelian? or jade? the real pale kind?
4. Choose a familiar:
- very dumb, very loving disobedient dog. He loves you but will never listen to you ever
- a raven that speaks but it only ever shrieks the name of various fast food restaurants
- a toad that screams like a teenage boy instead of croaks
BIRB
5. Which planet do you feel like would be kind of an asshole if you met them?
Jupiter. definitely.
[i totally wasn’t going to make a uranus joke, nope, not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]
6. if you were a worm would you love me? (ah yes me I did this)
depends on what kind of worm you became and whether or not i know it’s you
7. Least favorite type of clothing?
itchy ones.
8. You are now in a horror movie—so sorry. Chance of survival?
50/50 cause i’m an absolute dumbass. i’d either die immediately or out-dumb the villain.
9. Would you rather: the ability to instantly grow a perfect mustache, or ability to talk to vegetables?
mustache. a) it’s prime comedy and disguise material and b) i could not eat any veggies if i could hear them.
10. What do you think of whales?
THE BABIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
Feel free to answer any combination of the above questions! Sorry, if you've already been tagged:
@clockworkgalaxies @faelanvance @saltwaterbells @saphoblin @moonscribbler
Have fun!!!
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Ohhhhh, a tag game, nice. Thanks for the tag @gillianthecat
NAME: I don’t like disclosing my name online but you guys can call me Amy or moonchild
SIGN: I don’t really believe in astrology but as far as I’m aware, my sign is Libra.
HEIGHT: between 5′5 and 5′6. Sometimes I feel like I am 5′5 but other times, specially when I’m next to my mother, I feel like I’m 5′6
TIME: 11:22 pm
BIRTHDAY: it’s the only day I let myself feel special, contrary to what happens during the other 354 days of the year. I’m an introvert so I don’t like big celebrations, a small cake and a few drinks are fine for me, if not that, you can catch me just listening to music, writing or reading a book.
FAVOURITE ARTIST/BAND: out of the bat, BTS. After them, Dave Matthews Band, Jill Scott and Maroon 5.
LAST MOVIE: Last movie I watched was, if I’m not mistaken, Doctor Strange. I usually don’t watch movies, because I spent my time watching series so it’s very difficult to actually do that.
LAST SHOW: Last show I completed was My Secret Love (it ended a day ago). Before that, Triage. Both shows are good, I highly recommend them.
WHEN I CREATED THIS BLOG: Mid 2021? I don’t remember the exact date but it was when Y-Destiny was past half of it, so between May and July I guess.
WHAT I POST: Mostly analysis/theories of the shows I watch, mainly queer shows.
OTHER BLOGS: I’m thinking about creating a blog where I would post short stories, whether they are about characters of series or my own original characters but I barely can’t keep this one up, imagine another one hahaha
DO I GET ASKS: It’s been a while since I got asks, and I think I only got two so far. Please, send me asks, I would love to get them
AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 6 but for me to be a functional adult, I need at least 8 and a half
WHAT I'M WEARING: black leggings, a red top and a hat
DREAM JOB: Being a professional writer. If I got this question 6/7 years ago, I would say “to be a lawyer” but after 4 years in law school, I don’t think I was made for that
DREAM TRIP: Go to London to see the Big Ben, Seoul to see the Han River and Thailand to go to Siam Square.
FAVOURITE SONGS (and quotes from them, just for some spice): They change weekly so...
I don't know who to tag so for those who see this post in their dahsboards, feel free to answer the questions if you want to!
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Going in blind: Watching season 2 for the first time. Random thoughts.
Huh. Only 7 episodes. Not complaining necessarily. For series with an ongoing plot I've definitely become more in favor with their seasons only having as many episodes as they need rather than them having to stretch themselves out to full up a certain number of episodes, which can lead to padding and just bad character moments.
Episode 1: Jeez. Catra visiting Shadow Weaver's cell just to rub her success in her face and verbally abuse her back for once. It's like a twisted version of Zuko and Ozai from ATLA. Catra's upbringing under her was abusive but this is far from a healthy way for her to deal with it. She's basically deliberately swimming in her resentment.
Episode 2: It's not that I'm rooting for her but by-golly was it fun to watch Catra act like just the absolute worst she could while she was Glimmer and Bow's captive.
I touched on this in season 1 but part of the drama of the heroes feeling guilt over leaving Entrapta behind is kind of lost on me a bit simply because it was her own fault it happened. She deliberately went back into the purge room because of her machine obsession, which then closed on her and erupted in flames. It was more than reasonable to assume she was dead and no one but her was to blame, so I'm not really able to be invested in their guilt over it.
That said, weirdly enough I do like that her "abandonment" doesn't seem to be even a blip on the radar for Entrapta herself. She hasn't joined the horde because she resents the heroes or felt left behind, she simply is so obsessed with machines and experimentation that she'll be on the side of whoever lets her do the most of that. Like, it's selfish and irresponsible but it's very in-character and I'd far rather have a traitor motivation be based in that over something stupid like a misunderstanding.
Episode 3: I love the mental image of Shadow Weaver thinking up princess-themed ghost stories to tell Adora as a child.
So, if the previous She-Ra Mara separated Eternia from the other realms/planets/whatever she did and that's what cut off the She-Ra line for 1000 years, I'm guessing Hordak may be from the time before that happened, thus his drive to create portals and calling Eternia a backwards world. Either he's naturally long-lived or his technology is extending his life.
Episode 4: You know, you could maybe argue it was vague enough that it could be taken other ways but I'm definitely getting some vibes here that Scorpia is crushing on Catra. She literally refers to the two of them as soulmates at one point. I know she says she's trying to be friends but this feels a level beyond that.
Fun little reference to the original She-Ra cartoon thrown in there (and maybe Cowboy Bebop...? James Bond...? What was Glimmer's art style supposed to be?). I like how it is more like just playful ribbing than anything outright dumping on the original. Again, I've never seen original She-Ra but whenever remakes/adaptations go out of their way to trash to the original I always kind of wonder why they bothered doing an adaptation if the original is just that bad? Also, I was having trouble sleeping so it was about 2am when I watched this episode and the very Eartha Kitt Catwoman Catra made it very difficult for me not to lose my **** and stay quiet. With how much of a contrast that version is from the one in this series, that was hilarious. Bonus note, it's a nice touch that Frosta's version of Catra is a pretty crasher in that sweet suit, since that's the only impression of Catra she's ever had.
Adora being a chosen one is definitely elevated up simply by how much the pressure of what she's supposed to be is getting to her. I'm likely going to keep making Avatar The Last Airbender comparisons throughout the series but that's partly because I went into this series figuring it'd be at least structured similar to ATLA (season 1 being more episodic and a little more kid-friendly as it builds up the world before getting more serious later). Adora and Aang are interesting to compare here. Aang's worries early on were less apparent because he was more in-denial/choosing not to think about his problems that much, which fit with his character as a free-spirited Air Nomad. While Adora is much more military-minded. She can't keep herself from thinking about her problems and trying to prepare for the worst-case scenario. And jeez, that idea of who/how Catra is in her mind. Not only beating her but making her watch as she takes everything she cares about away. Not Shadow Weaver, not Lord Hordak, but Catra. That whole Lion King Mufasa/Scar moment between them in episode 11 and their fight in the S1 finale really did a number on her mental image of her old friend. Not reasonably so.
Minor note: I'm sure I'm the only one who got this impression but by the look of it, the way the robot's eye moved, and the music, after getting the soda spilled on it that little spybot gained sentience for half a second and then immediately died. It was so darkly comedic I had to laugh.
Episode 5: So that red disc is basically She-Ra's Red Kryptonite, having an effect on the mind rather than the body. The drunk Adora joke doesn't really do it for me but it did get some nice interactions going between Scorpia and Sea Hawk, two characters I certainly wasn't expecting to bond. I did really like Catra's panic when berserker She-Ra nearly beheads her. The implication is that is Adora really wanted to kill her Catra would already probably be dead. It's a thing I like about powerhouse characters like Superman or Aang, who could just demolish everything around them and don't simply because they're a good person...which in turn makes them the scariest person on the planet when they're well and truly ticked off. I'm not going to lie, I do kind of want to see a She-Ra version of Aang when Appa was stolen or when Superman fought The Elite.
Also, Catra's line of "I have control over Adora. I'm not giving that up for anything.". There's a lot to read into there.
Episode 6: I guess my prediction was sort of right. Shadow Weaver became basically a magic parasite and while it did increase the power she's capable of the implication seems to be that she needs a constant fix of magic to keep herself going, thus her attachment to the Black Garnet.
Have we seen Micah before? Given how long ago the flashback seems set, the fact that Shadow Weaver didn't kill him and thus he probably becomes someone important later in life, I'm guessing he's Glimmer's dad and the queen's late husband, since I think he's the only important male character whose face we haven't seen yet. Also, he's voice by Ezra from Star Wars Rebels and that cracks me up for some reason. It's the exact same voice and a relatively similar character.
I compared Catra and Shadow Weaver with a kind of twisted version of Zuko and Ozai and that definitely still fits here. Both Catra and Zuko confront their parent and call them out for the inexcusable abuse they put them through but while that moment was the start of Zuko's upwards journey this and SW's betrayal seems like it's going to cause Catra to spiral even further. Makes sense why Adora leaving affected her so much. She's probably the only one Catra's ever had that she could consistently trust and rely on, even if she did somewhat resent her.
Not surprised Hordak is getting along with Entrapta. She's not socially aware enough to be scared or intimidated by him, so she'll speak frankly, and since all she wants to talk about is the machines, experiments, and how they could get them to work Hordak probably doesn't take much issue with that. She's producing results, which is what he cares about, thus also why Shadow Weaver and Catra started losing favor with him. I wonder if Catra is going through imposter syndrome? Shadow Weaver had that line that Entrapta earned her place next to Hordak and, if you think about it, Catra hasn't really "earned" anything. We saw that she didn't really take her training or studies that seriously, showing up late to combat practice and even getting partial credit for what Adora beat. She wasn't promoted to Force Captain because of her own abilities but because Adora had defected when she was supposed to get that title. She's come close to a few victories but never really had any except for Glimmer and Bow's kidnapping...whom she then basically let escape when she returned Adora's sword to her. She doesn't have the slightest clue how the horde's bureaucracy works when trying to get things done, like simply getting troops armor. Given how much better than her Adora always was and how little she herself has to her name, I wonder is subconsciously Catra believes she doesn't deserve her current position and thus why she's fretting so much over trying to prove herself.
Episode 7: Am I mistaken or did Bow's parents say that he's the youngest of TWELVE siblings? I was going to ask whether Bow was adopted or if his dad's used a surrogate or if maybe there's even just simply magic in She-Ra's world that allows two people of the same sex to have a child together but now I'm just focused on the 12 kids thing. I get nervous just imagining myself having more than one. You should see me when I'm with two cats. I have to pet both of them because I'd feel like I'd be making one feel left out and like the other is the favorite. I'm a mess with kids.
The dad with dreadlocks (Lance?), his design looked familiar to me and I finally realized it reminded me a of a fanart design for a human Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Very different voices between those two characters though.
I wonder if there's any significance to the robot protecting the crystal having the same design as those in the artic in episode 5? Obviously both have the connection to the First Ones but the robot in the forest who was also protecting First Ones' tech had a more insect-like design over these more worm/Graboid ones.
I'm kind of curious what Hordak would have done if Catra had told the truth. Given his interactions with her and Shadow Weaver he doesn't seem like the time to tolerate failure but I suppose the implication here is that he at least would respect those who own up to their failures. Or I suppose more simply he was just testing to see if she would lie to him and since she did there's little merit in keeping her in a position of authority anymore where she could lie about important things again.
Season 2 verdict: Still enjoying it. Another person on this reddit recommended I view seasons 2 and 3 as one since they are basically just one season split in two. I was going to do that but this ended up longer than I thought I would, so I'll just do 2 and 3 separate to keep them semi-organized and easier to read.
I think overall Catra is my favorite character since she has the most interesting backstory, interactions, and just general path through the story out of everyone. She's like Pearl from Steven Universe or, well, Zuko. There's just so much baggage there that she's trying and kind of failing to deal with. I'm always invested in whatever's happening when she's onscreen. Hordak so far is a good big boss villain for Adora to face but Catra is a good archenemy for her.
Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o027y3/going_in_blind_watching_season_2_for_the_first/
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Insider @.@ About clubbing in Korea - this situation take a place in an exclusive club. I'm "lucky" that I'm white, so I don't have a problem with entering them, because I'm a VIP because of my skin color. (It always fascinated me how much some of the Koreans want to show themself with some cool foreigners). (1/7?)
But Korean have to be "pretty", with money and skinny, if they want to enter these clubs. Because of that a lot of idols going there - they are feeling safe because they are with "the same" people who won't sell information about them. No, I never met anyone from NCT - except Sungchan. Inner circle fans and fans in most of the cases talk with each other in private chats using kakaotalk. (2/7?)
It's pretty obvious why they aren't discussing some stuff in public - they don't want these pieces of information to go outside, where antis can use them. I'm in one group, and I'm already thankful for that because I'm the "outsider" for them. My Koreans 친구 are in three, or four groups and they are telling me most of the time what's going on. I'm sorry, but I won't send you some screenshots, because it will be obvious who am and I will have problems later. (3/7?)
But one time, this spring/summer one of the girls also from "outside", not Korean and not Asia (from what I know) wrote about this kind of situation with Sungchan on Twitter. She described the whole situation which was similar to mine, so when I read this I have known that she is telling the truth. She described him as a mix of Taeyong and Jaemin, wrote how he told that NCT won't be participating in Kingdom because the whole NCT will have a comeback at the same time. (4/7?)
He also offered rumors about the love life of other members. But people very quickly silenced her, I can't find these tweets right now, but maybe some of your readers remember this situation. He never did (what I know) something bad, like molested someone, using drugs, etc. What is disturbing - his talking about members. It's important because of Jaedo and others' "secrets". (5/7?)
LSM is very careful with idols and trainees, but let me tell you the truth, most of the idols were at least once in a club. And this is normal, and not harmful. What is dangerous is how they behave in this club. But if Sungchan never did anything bad, that SM didn't hear about this, he is safe. He also probably signed in his contact some confidentiality clause. But kfans will be watching him closely. (6/7?)
24 members - let me tell you that fans think pretty well. SM thinks several years in advance and nothing is accidental. But timing also depends on investors. I know that people speak badly about them but in most cases, it's not their fault but investor from outside. 24 member NCT was a plan for the moment of "explosion" NCT and their popularity. Timing is very important and now is the best moment for that (7/7?)
Timing is very important and now is the best moment for that. When 24 member will appear in NCT, they will be gaining momentum, and the NCT era will only start. (8/7)
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I’ve been updated on the rumours surrounding Sungchan, I’ve read through the thread of the foreign woman you are talking about. Her posts gave me an impression that they are a mix of truth and info from the internet. I might be mistaken, of course.
There are several accounts that give spoilers about group releases and upcoming projects. Analytics actually include these news too in their reports to persuade to buy/keep stocks of idol companies. Therefore, I think SM either doesn’t care or actually has a hand in planting these seeds. Spoilers spark interest, keep the fandom buzzing, anticipating. Spoilers are dangerous only when they have something to do with concepts, ideas that can be stolen by rivaling companies. It’s not a problem to spoil there will be a 24th member, naming the exact trainee - is. That difference.
As for Sungchan, he must have corporate secret clauses in his contract. Not sure it covers rumours about the members though. Still, a wannabe idol and an actual idol have different things to loose and gain. And flaws in character can be improved with growing up, being in a company of guiding people.
I will keep your and other’s accounts in mind and see what the future will show. You understand, that I can’t blindly believe you, an anonymous on the internet.
Doyoung and Haechan’s attitude towards Sungchan will shed some light on his true character. And he will slip up in interviews at the beginning a lot being new to it all. If he is a playboy and likes foreigners, he will demonstrate it in the way he responds to foreign interviewers (and NCT meet them often).
I’ve actually did a quick check on number 24 to see if there is any importance to it. I’ve found nothing, but I didn’t look deeply. Maybe there is a connection with physics. The MVs should have hints.
My thinking right now is that NCT24 is SM’s NCT. Final number. Other NCT units are to be created and managed by local companies. The original idea is to sell the know-how. Like with AKB48 and their clones. Like JYP is making Japanese groups now.
127 covers Japan and USA. WayV - China. New unit - (I think) SEA. 9+7+8
Dream was supposed to be a graduational unit, it was fixed per fans’ demand, but SM didn’t really care to handle it with pomp (because it doesn’t follow the plan).
I like your last sentence, heh.
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G U Y S
I know I cry a lot about Max, Nikki, and Neil but can I just say that I live for their dynamic? And imma just throw a lot of observations about them here and this may get incoherent but whatever?
1.) They're actually pretty touchy-feely with each other and god I never noticed until recently but like??? They a r e??? Like Neil putting his hand on Max's back in Jermy Fartz. Like how Max grabbed Nikki's hand and d r a g g e d her away from the danger in Night Of The Living Ill. Or how Nikki just kinda clung to Neil when she was sick in the episode Into Town. Or how Nikki grabbed the boys into a hug in the Christmas Special. Even as early as the first episode they were grabbing each other and Max put his arms around the other's shoulders to guide them away. I know a lot of us are like "they aren't really the publicly clingy or affectionate types" but the thing is that they really kinda are. We don't always see it because it's not called attention to all that often but next time you watch an episode that's heavily trio centred count how many times they touch each other casually and you'll see what I mean. For example, I counted four casual grabs and touches in Spooky Island. Which doesn't seem like much. Until you remember the fact that this is a ten minute episode, and that's a touch every 2.5 minutes on average. Which IS a lot. Not to mention how damn close they were. There were quite a few moments where I fully expected them to grab each other or something because they were just completely invading one another's personal space.
Look how close they stand to one another. Compare this to normal conversation distance
When in a conversation generally your attention is locked onto the other person. Generally you'll stand closer to someone if you're talking to them than if you're not. Yet the two images I showed you before are of Max, Nikki, and Neil NOT talking or even really acknowleging one another. Compare that to the screenshot of Nikki actually engaged in conversation with Jasper.
If you thought maybe the former three images were just a perspective issue or something...no. Max, Nikki, and Neil genuinely do stand abnormally close. Look at this picture where Max and Nikki have literally no reason to leave a huge gap from Jasper yet they still do.
And when I said they disreguarded personal space I don't even mean standing this strangely close to each other?!? I mean like when Nikki threw herself two inches away from Max to the point where he jumped back a little. I mean like when Max pointed at Neil and Neil had to move his body a little because he was startled by how close it was. I mean like when Nikki leaned across Neil to jab her finger in Max's personal space, effectively getting abnormally touchy with both of them at the same time. Note that all these observations are from ONE EPISODE that's only ten minutes long! Imagine everything that could be observed if I went out of my way to check how touchy they were in every episode? This is especially impressive if we look at who we're talking about. Max is the type to reject touching from people. He's brushed off or shoved away other's who try to touch him multiple times. But not these two.
2.) Max is a l o t softer with Nikki and Neil than with anyone else. Again, let's take Spooky Island for example. When they discover the torture chamber, Max has absolutely no issues whatsoever telling Jasper the fuck off. He taunted Jasper, who was clearly frightened, going "Oh no! We have to find ghosts and monsters! Remember?!?" And keep in mind he was mocking and yelling here. Then Neil interjects and you know what? Max's tone actually softens. Yeah he still tells Neil that he's wrong. But Max isn't nearly as hostile. He sure as hell didn't mock or taunt Neil. And what's more? Max didn't say one word to Nikki. Yeah when he first walked in he started to tease her but as soon as she made it clear that she was frightened he just completely stopped and turned his attention onto Jasper. And you can see this in a l o t of episodes, not just this one. Max is still a jerk with Nikki and Neil but he doesn't cross the line. He doesn't yell for too long. Max...he doesn't want to hurt them. He doesn't want to see them fail. He doesn't want them angry or god forbid sad. Max may hurt them sometimes but he doesn't fuck with them just for the sake of upsetting them. And especially in early seasons, that's more than can be said for anyone else because he does go out of his way to torment the other's and he's never been as openly apologetic for anything in his life than for the few times he has upset Nikki and Neil. It's also worth noting that Neil is more gentle with Nikki than other's. For example he expects her to ruin his experiments and just gets kinda salty about it after but he clearly forgives her? Max and Neil also forgave her when she betrayed them for Ered in Camp Cool Kidz. Like..immediately. With no bargaining. They were back to hanging out together instantly before Nikki even apologized.
3.) They're always together. I think I made a separate post about this? But it's the truth. They eat together. They sleep in the same tent (actually I'm not sure? Max said in episode 1 "I'll show you to our tent" and they have no issues sneaking out together all the time in the middle of the night- note that they don't all have that much access to technology so coming up with a time to meet up may be hard- implying that Nikki sleeps with them? And there are only two 'beds' I think but doubling up doesn't seem that unlikely for these three? So until proven otherwise I'm assuming they sleep in the same tent). They have DAILY adventures together. Like scheduled. Like they gotta spend it together. In Eggs Benefits Max wanted nothing to do with the adventure yet he followed Nikki and Neil anyway and spent the whole day letting Nikki drag him around despite whining the whole time. In Spooky island both Nikki and Neil want to leave at different points of the episode but they continue to follow Max anyway. These three really do just stick together all the time and maybe they've been branching off a bit more lately but they still spend a hell of a lot of time together? Like most of their time if I'm not mistaken?
4.) Nikki and Neil are...really protective over Max? Like I'm sorry but did you guys see the Foreign Exchange Campers episode? The moment Max decided to team up with someone else they flipped their shit. I mean, Max literally told them it was just so he could win. It was clear he wasn't actually choosing the other campers over Nikki and Neil? Like it's obvious they were still friends? Yet we still got lines like "What about us? We're kinda a thing!", "We dont need you anyway Max! And even if we did, we're just going to pretend we don't in the hopes that you'll be jealous and we won't feel as sad!", "I just can't believe he would ditch us! After all our adventures?!?", and "He looks so happy! At least he's found someone who can make him smile" like, god, they treat this like a breakup or something when Max just wanted to win the contest. Like they knew it wasn't personal. They knew he was just being a jerk and he didn't like the Foreign kids more than them. Yet look at this.
Look at these creeps watching him from the bushes instead of competing!
They were so volatile too? They called Brian "Kim-Chi" despite knowing damn well that Nurf wasn't calling him the right name. Nikki literally yelled "Shut up commie" at Vera. I believe Neil outright told them point blank "Max is OUR friend and you can't have him!".
This isn't the only example of them being defensive about Max (almost to a fault) but it's the biggest one off the top of my head.
5.) They l o v e each other. Nikki saying "You know what else I love about Christmas? You guys (Max and Neil)" or Neil saying "We were so afraid of foreigners taking what we love (Max) that we.." , etc. Like??? They're so very sweet? They really love each other guys and I'm screaming because they're so good? And Max hasn't outright said he loves them but god, we know he does. Like how he "didn't do this camp campbell" but "for you guys (Nikki and Neil)" when he pulled off this difficult convoluted scheme to get the camp back. They love and care about and support one another even with all their issues and it's just so good? And the trio's overall relationship is ignored way too much. Can we just..please..talk about them more? As a trio? Please?
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The day I slipped into a Panic and anxiety attack.
This, this is going to be long winded.
I'm just going to come out and say it. No, I don't want sympathy. This is just me using this particular blog for what it was meant for. A space for me to vent, to be my authentic self. To reflect, to just let things spill out from my mind through my fingers and onto the screen on which you may be reading this.
First things first. The Icons I'll be using here are not rp muns, they are simply my emotions on display. My IRL self as displayed by characters I adore from the Teen Titans fandom.
Ooookay lets get down it.
I help moderate a stream, have been doing it for a while. I became fast friends with the streamer and pull long hours. Roughly 4-5 hours per stream, unless I have class the next day.
To my knowledge, nobody ever had an issue with me. Save the odd person here or there, that may have disagreed with me, but at least they would tell me to my face, and I would shrug it off and move on. It was as simple as that.
My friend, who I love to death, has on more than one occasion had to reassure me that I was actually doing a good job. I lost count how many times I asked if I needed to improve, or if there were any rough areas that may need to change.
A good chunk of the time, they would just kinda raise their voice, and be like. "Damnit, you're good. You're fine." and then try to cheer me up with silly cat pictures. My ultimate kryptonite.
This friend of mine has worked with me for a few years now, talking about deep heavy personal stuff. They know I am medically diagnosed with ptsd, social anxiety, and have been dealing with depression for years. So they're not a stranger to my triggers and I love them for respecting when I need to just be alone, or only want some quality time one on one for a few hours. You hear that you knucklehead? Yeah you, I know you at least read this shit.
Moving on.
On friday, we had a.. bad night of it. Not even an hour in, after happily gathering folks who wanted to play the chosen game with us that night, someone. Who I will call 2P, dumped a huge paragraph, attacking my character and personality as a mod, in my friends private discord DMS.
2P for months, had been telling me to my face, that they saw me as a best friend, that anything I ever said and or did would be safe to do. You know the whole, you can trust me bit. I blindly trusted, and hind sight maybe I shouldn't have.
Meanwhile the entire time, I apparently had been talked about behind my back, negatively for a while? I don't know.
So we paused the stream, and go into another server that's locked down to a limited set of people and discuss it. Friend is, PISSED, but is trying to not yell, and asks me what we should do about it.
In my head I'm just reeling. I'm asking my friend, if I'm a bad mod, if I've fucked up somewhere, I'm totally confused. I can't concentrate, and there's this choking hurt in my chest. One I know all too well.
The feeling of dread. The feeling that I messed up, that I'm useless, and a fraud.
My friend is trying hard to make sure I'm okay, by this point they know, this has fucked with my head. In a huge way. 17- going on 18 years of therapy suddenly going down the drain, spiralling out of control.
They Cut the stream short.
I'm exhausted, tired, feeling beaten. I just say a few things to 2P and leave their discord server, kick them from my private one, and from the one I made for my streamer friend for the game we play with other people. In addition, also a possible person who may cause me issues, because 2P's probably been shit talking me for a few months now.
Friend is arguing on my behalf, another mutual and their friend, instantly demands to get in call. We'll call them... Uh.. Fuck, Tataru , and Estinien for sake of ease. Tataru is having none of it, they are witnessing my typed anxieties. They are hearing our mutual friend, trying very hard to not just *yell*.
2P is dropping the nasty paragraph in other dms now, belonging to other regulars. It's escalating pretty fast. I am now a villain, and a victim in one role, and 2P is also playing the role of victim because my dearest friend just told 2P Off.
"2P, isn't getting it!" My friend is saying with a calm anger. "2P is just constantly going on and on about how (my name) is bad for the stream." Or something to that effect. "They don't even fucking realize how fucking hurtful they are being."
"You need to stop responding." Tataru is saying. "Just, tell the mother fucker, NO and block 2P on everything."
I guess 2P is quickly realizing that they are losing the fight, so they come into my dms. Shit forgot to block them there. I think in my head, and I see them trying to bring the argument to me. They tell me, that I'm handling the situation all wrong.
I don't even respond. I'm tired. I'm just done. I'm mentally slipping back to the days I was mentally and emotionally abused, and gaslit.
GASLIT.
GASLIT!
I block 2P. For my mental health.
Estinien with their calming voice, is outlining streamer etiquette rules. 2P is definitely out of line, as a viewer. If we want, Estinien can pretty much hit up a wider streamer network, and have the name of 2P blacklisted from other communities.
By this point, another regular is talking to my friend asking what is going on. Then another. Slowly, I read through logs my friend has dumped into the 4 person private call.
Then I see it.
"I'll just lie through my teeth to her about why I'm leaving or something. Just don't tell (My name) I said any of this. " In regards to the in game guild My friend and I Co Run.
Silently mutter to myself. Not that the others can hear me, my headsets broken. "Ah, the other shoe has dropped. 2P's been lying to me the whole time. I've been gaslit all over again. No wonder I feel like I do."
Estinien and Tataru get sleepy and go to bed. My friend stays up as long as they can as I sort my head out, trying to timeline events. I'm given logs, screen shots. 2P's been blocked. I lock down my twitter for a day. I lose 20 hours sleep.
I spent those 20 hours of no sleep, asking and apologizing to regulars if 2P has ever talked to them about me. Most of them say NO, and reassure me I'm a good mod, that I make the stream warm, fun, welcoming and comfortable for all kinds of people.
A good friend of mine, who I will ironically call Angellica, because we call each other sis, and I view myself as Eliza from Hamilton. Once had told me to be careful with 2P from the start, because they had a bad vibe about them, is PISSED off, and yeets them out of an in game group chat. "Fuck em, 2P's a troll."
I realize, that Angellica literally stood by and chose my happiness. Cause yeah, I thought 2P was someone I could trust. After what happened though, I realized that I had been mistaken and apologized, To Angellica.
Now 2P is going around seeing who still will consider them friends, or are neutral parties. I was made aware of this because one of them, a mature friend actually asked me what 2P was going on about. So I gave them the run down. They were disgusted with 2P's behavior.
Now a days, 2P takes screen shots of anybody on twitter, that has blocked them and smears their names.
2P still doesn't get it.
But I'm moving on from it.
I have screenshots and logs. But I don't ever plan on releasing them publicly.
So yeah, 2P if you ever come across this, and figure out I'm talking about you, I severed ties with you, because friends don't lie to each other, Friends don't talk behind each others backs, they don't force other good close friends to sit on the *truth* of how you feel. Friends can disagree, and can have different opinions.
But You burned your bridges yourself.
I've always had a three strike ruleset.
One: You lied to my face multiple times.
Two: You pretended to be my friend.
Three: You actively gaslit me, and my friend.
Sooo THAT'S why I cut ties with you. Your behavior after that was just you playing the victim, and none of us 30 plus year olds were just going to sit by and let you have your 20 something year old tantrum.
I bare you no ill will, and I doubt any of us are going to even blast you in an open space like twitter releasing the logs or screen shots. I'm just noping out of this parasocial relationship because that's all it was. I refuse to be used, as a way for people to get close to and use my friend as they work on their passions and goals.
Adieu 2P , nothing was lost the day I walked away, except all the work my friend did to get me out of my isolated shell. But you know what? They'll just pull me back out, and support me 100% You'll never break us up.
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I Wise Woman Once Said Damn It I'm Getting A Maine Coon T-Shirt
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So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn. Placed an order back in july and earned 30 in children’s place cash that couldn’t be spent until mid september ordered 60 in september so I could use the 3 coupons not only did you drop 2 items from my order saying they were no longer available you refused to reissue my 30 in coupons after you lost my package but I didn’t learn and I ordered from you again with a 30 off coupon I just received an email stating that yet another item in my new order is no longer available let’s see if the rest of my order will arrive p s I ordered from carter’s after I ordered from you and their order has already arrived get your act together children’s place See Other related products: I Wise Woman Once Said Damn It I'm Getting A Maine Coon T-Shirt
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