#i can feel so much contrasting energy in my stomach i actually feel like im going to explode 🧍‍♂️

[helpmyinterestsareverywhere]

Thought about Ninjago for too long - took psychic damage and now I need to turn my entire body inside-out in order to feel normal again

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Twelve | Danger Mystery (Part 1 of 2)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Today's the day, and though there's no going back now, one look at the last message your ex sent you makes you wish you could.

I'll 🐝 there in 30 ⌚, babe. 😘😘😘

💋💖🥺 Miss you. 🥺💖💋

K.

The overuse of emojis topped off with him calling you ‘babe’ makes you regret so much as the thought of meeting him already.

It's hard to imagine a normal conversation with Jerry given how awfully long it's been since you last talked and how blatant you were being through texts, ignoring all the ones about the info he dug up on monsterkind and only answering his most recent message with a 'K'. You didn't want to hear his reasons behind his absence after how bad things were left between you, and even less did you want him to call you 'babe' in real life. Grateful as you are to have Toriel offer her home as the place for your meeting with him, you look forward to this as much as you do having to wake up at five in the morning every weekday. Her home is busy as a result of the upcoming visitor, with Papyrus trying to make himself look like the most sophisticated gentleman possible, Toriel fixing Frisk's hair into two short braids, Undyne freshening up after exercising all her own nervousness away, Alphys practicing her introductory speech, and Sans revising Frisk's homework.

Considering how much of a handful the last person has been, you decide to take that as an opportunity for you to bother him yourself -- not only as payback, but as a way to prepare yourself to confront Jerry soon.

You approach the couch he sits on and stand behind him, his sitting height and your standing one allowing you to grab a look at what he's doing with more detail. He's around halfway through correcting Frisk's Math homework, and their English speech is already set aside with a few marks and commentary on what they had left to work with. His revision stops when you hover a little closer, making him acknowledge your presence and set the notebook aside to turn around and meet with your eyes.

"How do I look?

That's the first question you ask him, a bit of confidence shining through with how your health's managed to improve a bit since your hospitalization. While you still have to use foundation to cover up your stress blemishes and you're far from being as fit as Jerry was, it's a huge difference from how you were at the start of it all. As a result, you smile, ready to hear someone else's view of you besides Frisk, Brenda, or yourself.

"'Fraid you're asking the wrong person, pal," he replies, gaze averting from yours.

"C'mon," you insist, sitting next to him on the couch. You then shift a bit closer to the skeleton and nudge his shoulder, pouting at him after that. "Please?," you add, facing him again. "You're… You're the only one I trust who won't sugarcoat how I look if you pointed out those 'love handles' I've got a while back." 

He manages to keep his gaze and attention on the conversation, though you can see he tries to look elsewhere every so often, as if unable to stare at you for too long.

"So? I was just makin' a comparison between us, not callin' you out or anything."

"But you were still bold enough to say I had them."

You pull your hand back, noticing it's been kept on his shoulder for far too long. Then, you scoot away, growing aware of how close you are. "I don't want him to think I'm still hung up over him." You huff. "It's been almost six years now!"

"Are you still thinkin' about 'im, though?"

"Oh, hell no. He can go date whoever he wants."

Sans grabs the area where you'd touched him; the sight of that makes you worry if you'd involuntarily crossed a line with him. You're not sure how to ask if you've made him uncomfortable, so you back off and shift further away in your seat, setting your hands on your lap and staring down afterwards. "He was… nice enough to wait until I finished my second year of college for us to call our relationship off and for him to leave the picture, so I can't really blame him too much for what happened." You take in some air and look up again, maintaining your pride. "But that still doesn't mean I don't want to look my best. I've moved on, and I... I really want all that to show today."

Appearing convinced, Sans nods once and sits up straighter on the couch. Whatever made him wary of eye contact vanishes and allows him to judge you without any bias, irises scanning your face for a moment. He carries on to your attire, though it's a quicker observation in comparison and a hint of embarrassment can be seen in his body language, from how stiff his shoulders get to how his grin feels forced and bashful. "You look good. Not much different from your regular self, I'd say."

"Please, be honest with me here, Serif. I know I didn't exactly... look my best when we first met, y'know? It's fine."

"But I am being honest." Again, he averts his gaze from yours, posture staying rigid as he faces the table and stares at the open notebook. "You don't need to try and look like you've moved on, 'cause it already shows -- And even more now that you look healthier, too."

Unsure how to approach his comment, you grab your knees and clench your hands around them, sighing after. "If you really think so, then I..." You breathe in, chest feeling tighter than the belt around your waist. "Thank you."

You stand up and fix your clothes for what has to be the twentieth time today. Your heart's racing just as much as your thoughts. Honest to goodness, you were nervous over meeting Jerry again, and not because of butterflies or lingering feelings, but for how much had happened since he last visited. At the thought of him meeting the monsters and learning all about the near two months Frisk was absent from your side, your worries heighten and anxiety eats right through your confidence. 

Nervous, you gulp and look back to the couch again, offering the one still sitting there a smile. "Could you... follow me outside, please?" You wring your hands, clasping them as a subtle plead shows on your face. "I could really use your company right now."

Sans laughs at that, nodding again as he stands up, dusts off, and joins your side, winking when he looks up at you. "Thought you'd never ask, (Y/N)."

You still can't help feeling strange at the sound of him saying your name. 

While you're fully aware it was nothing out of the ordinary and that he was now in closer enough terms with you to call you that instead of 'pal' or (L/N), there remains a sudden flip in your stomach whenever he says it. Whether it was due to how wary you've become around him or how incessant he was with his flirting, it's still impossible for you to acknowledge that and get over those feelings. No way were you wasting any of your time and energy thinking about that stuff, anyway.

• • •

The temperature changes as you both step outside.

In contrast to the warmth and coziness of Toriel's home, you're greeted by cold and unrelenting winds, along with the colder, occasional water droplets falling on your face. The hint of a downpour coming soon makes you dwell on your past visit here and how you were obliged to stay the night back then. You wonder if the same ending will apply for today, or if you would have to cut your reunion short as a consequence.

"Guessin' those months without the kid around were pretty draining, huh? You look way happier compared to when we first met." Sans breaks the ice, though his hands are kept in his pockets to shield himself from both the cold and any awkward body language. "When I think about it, it's… It's kinda hard to believe it's already been just as long since we left the Underground -- And that it's gonna be Frisk's birthday soon, too." 

You face down at him, smiling when you meet with his gaze. "Has it felt like less or longer to you?"

"A weird mix between the two, actually."

You look away from each other at the sound of an engine rumbling from nearby. A familiar, red colour flashes before your eyes; the Ferrawrxd that parks at the sidewalk brings back memories, ones you try to push down. "Tori was already plannin' out somethin' for 'em by that time," the skeleton says, distracting you from the view. "Has she talked about it with you?"

"Not yet," you reply, facing your shoes. "But I wanted to ask her if she'd like to help out -- It's the least I can do with how much she cares for Frisk."

Despite your best efforts not to, you tense up at the sound of a person stepping down and a car door being shut and locked.

Now that you're actually about to confront your ex, it's hard for you to keep your confidence and face up at that sight. "You should do it, then." Again, Sans's voice helps melt your worries down. "I'm sure she'll be more than happy to join you in that -- And pretty much the rest of Frisk's friends, too." You can feel his gaze on you, though you don't look at him, still too anxious to move your eyes away from the floor. "And I'd be more than happy to help also, so just say the word if you need me."

The earthy scent of roses catches you off guard and makes you look up to see a large, white-and-red bouquet being offered out to you, ex-husband standing behind them. "How's it going, babe?" he asks, a smile present on his face. "I missed you."

You back up against the door to Toriel's home and face the man in front of you with careful eyes. Your breathing hitches with how different a greeting that is from your expectations; the sight of him having no companion around and the use of 'babe' makes it obvious as to what the bouquet means. It's even more than evident with the lull in his tone and the soft look in his eyes, though you don't want to acknowledge that. To counter, you step closer to the skeleton's side and look at your ex right in the eye, a firm look remaining in yours. 

"I'm doing alright," you reply, stoic. You then take the flowers from him, paying little attention to them and ignoring his other comment. "This is Sans. Though I'm sure you've heard about him already," you add, gesturing with a hand over to him. Pretending you hadn't seen Jerry at the restaurant back at the very beginning of it all is the best you can do for now with how hard it is to lie about it. "He's one of Frisk's friends from the Underground."

The pair exchange a look, one you can only remain curious over when you remind yourself over the purpose for Jerry's visit. You glare sharply at him, wanting to stand your ground. "Why return after a whole year of not coming around to see your child?" Finally, you cross your arms tight and let your displeasure known through a grimace. "Frisk was gone for almost two whole months, and yet you never worried to ask if I needed help with that or not!"

You take a step forward, anger bubbling the more you let those words dawn upon you. "You came to visit us only after the hardest stage was over. The one where I needed you the most!" You hold yourself back, against letting your voice turn any louder or making a scene of any sort.

"Well, I..." he counters, gaze narrowing and frown showing. "I waited two whole years for you to start out college before ending our relationship, and I'm still paying child support to this day."

"And I had to divide time between taking care of a two year-old with work and college!" You huff out, trying to contain yourself. "This isn't a competition, Jerry. It never was." A sharp bite to the inside of your lip is what's necessary for you to keep yourself from exploding any further than you have already, against showing any more weakness in front of him. "I don't care if you decided to leave, I only wanted you to at least pretend you cared for Frisk. Not just show up and visit once a year like freakin' Santa Claus!"

He glares back at you, keeping it that way when he looks down at Sans, his height not only towering over the monster, but you, as well. "At least I'm not dating a Halloween decoration seven years after my divorce!" 

Wham!

You shove the bouquet right at his chest.

Your nostrils flare and your hands ball up tight as you stare him down, frown changing for a deep and unwavering scowl. "Don't talk to him like that!" You pause and take another step forward, enough for him to do the opposite. "Don't call me babe, and don't give me flowers if you're just gonna assume I'm dating someone else! I'm through with you, Jerry, and it's been that way since six damn years ago."

Jerry's eyes lower back to the skeleton, who takes his hands out of his pockets and straightens up. He faces your ex, looking amused. "So this is the one you told me you liked, man?" he asks, brushing you aside to make way towards Sans. "Is this really the (chick/dude) you told me you were into? I thought we were bros!"

"Wait, what?"

Those are the only words you can say out loud as you watch the two confront each other, tension thick in the air. Jerry takes in all of it, while the monster keeps his cool, shrugging at his bro. "Sorry to lay it down like this, but yeah," he says, snickering. "They're who I'm into." He spares a quick glance at you, winking to further fuel your ex's anger. "I gotta admit, it's a bit awkward. Though I really dunno why you're so worked up over this if you had your time all those years ago. Ain't my fault you two broke up."

"They're my ex-spouse, bro!"

"Yeah -- I'm well-aware of that, pal."

You back away from the door when it opens, revealing a frowning Toriel behind it. 

"Is everything alright out there, you two? Someone sounds angry." When she catches sight of Jerry, her eyes brighten and a smile overcomes her. "I see our new guest is here! Come along now. I cannot wait to meet Frisk's other parent!"

"Inna second, Tori," Sans says, grinning up at your ex. "Just havin' a talk with 'im first."

The goat lady nods, and a knowing look's exchanged between them two; she then closes the door after that, leaving you be.

Overwhelmed and in need of some painkillers for a future headache, you take a step back meanwhile, not quite in favour of getting caught up between your ex and a monster with a seemingly one-sided crush on you. 

"What more could there be to talk about?" Jerry asks, scowling. "If I'd known it was (Y/N) you'd been talking about this whole time, I would've never told you to try giving it a shot!"

He storms off inside the house and closes the door shut, leaving you alone with the skeleton, who soon beckons you over with his irises, a look of caution visible in them. 

"You okay, pal?" he asks, hands going back in his pockets. "Sorry I got ya mixed up in all this. I know you don't want any drama, but I really didn't think he'd figure me out like this."

You stand by the door and lean against the wall while you consider his words. 

It doesn't take too long for a smile to show up on your face. You sigh, choosing to believe him for now. "It's alright," you say, dismissing his words. "The look you gave each other before this kind of... showed that." You pause, curiosity intervening. "How did you guys become friends, anyway? Didn't he pretty much hate your guts a while back?"

"Met 'im again while workin' at a hot dog stand, so we've been able to talk some more since then." Sans joins your side, similar to the day at Waterfall, but with an easier atmosphere present between you. "He came over to grab a bite, we found some stuff in common, and then we kinda just became friends from there on -- Surprisingly." He hums, a faint chuckle interrupting it. "We started talkin' about our love lives two weeks into gettin' to know each other. And about a month after you confronted me over at that restaurant." His hands leave his pockets, these placing themselves behind his skull as he further reclines against the wall. "I told 'im I'd met someone I was interested in, but when he asked for specifics, I said they weren't really into me. Told 'im they were a single parent, and that maybe that had somethin' to do with them not fallin' easily enough for my flirtin'."

He stops, though you still want to hear more. You nod at him, hope over him carrying on remaining. "Is... Is that all?"

"You'll get mad at me if I keep tellin' you what I told 'im about you."

"I can't promise I won't, but I'll try not to."

The monster takes in a breath, and his relaxed state is then replaced by a subtle mousiness he tries to cover up, mainly by remaining calm and casual.

"I told him your stubbornness and integrity were kinda just... hot, and that I had a thing for not only your looks, but just you, in general -- As a person, I mean."

"Do you still feel that way about me?"

You don't know what makes you blurt that question out, but it's far too late for you to dwell over it now of all times.

"Of course I do," Sans says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I told Jerry 'bout that last part just a few days ago." He stops again, breathing in deep once more. "I was, well, only doing it for fun back when it started. But now... Now I really mean it when I flirt with you, (Y/N)."

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

• • •

Updates will be Mondays and Fridays starting after Part 2 of this chapter!

Not only will I continue working with my Mario (one-shots from my old account, featuring Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Rosalina, and Pauline) and She-Ra (some drabbles I’ll be posting here later on) fanfics soon, but I've reached a personal milestone in terms of my studies, so I'll be celebrating that soon!!

• • •

Tag List (Comment or message me if you want to be added to [or removed from] it!)

@the-simp-express

@nektotersh

@disastrous-l0vebug

@therealchickenjoe

@mintyflakes025

@pandaquick

@timelock97

[kpop---writings]

Playboy Prince 3

Prince Im Jaebum.

Part 3.

“Welcome back, Prince Im Jaebum,” The butler does a 90 degree bow, “Hello, Princess Y/N.” He turns his attention to you, bowing again.

You nod your head with a smile.

“I’ll take your bags.”

He reaches for Prince Jaebum and while reaching for yours, he gives Jaebum a questioning look.

“You can take her bags to my room as well,” Jaebum already knew what he was thinking

As the butler walks off with both of your bags, Jaebum begins walking further into the castle. You right on his tail.

His castle was very much different from yours. Your parents loved the white marble and classy look. Almost everything in your castle was white, white marble, or some other shade close to white allowing for a slight contrast. With the occasional bright colored piece of decor.

But the Ims’ castle. It was very rich with gold details everywhere and darker shades. Completely opposite what you were used to. Not that you were complaining, it was nice to see something different. It made you feel like you didn’t need to be so cautious about leaving any kind of dirt behind. 

You hadn’t noticed Prince Jaebum had stopped walking and began to watch you admire his castle. 

“Not what you’re used to, Princess?”

His voice catches you off guard and you quickly look over to him.

“No.” You reply, walking towards where he’s standing, next to a large exotic painting of some animal. “It is very beautiful, though. I can see myself living here.” You give him a wink.

He smirks, “Wait until you see my room.”

---

Prince Jaebum gives a pretty intricate tour of the castle, showing you even the secret passage ways. You’re so in awe the whole time. Their castle gives of a completely different energy than what you’re used to, but you absolutely love it. The dark flooring and walls with gold detail was so captivating to you.

Jaebum, again, watches you closely. Taking advantage of you being completely distracted by his home to look at you. Specifically your lips.

As you’re looking around at everything, you catch his stare.

“What?” You ask confused, “Is there something on my face?” You began feeling all over your face.

He lets out a breathy chuckle, “No, you just look like a kid in a candy store. Have never seen any castle other than your own?”

“I mean I have, but most of the time they all have the same interior.” You look back at some of the paintings in the hallway you’re standing in, “Definitely not covered with such unique art.”

“And what’s with the kid thing again?” You ask.

Prince Jaebum shakes his head, “Just waiting on you to prove otherwise, Princess.”

---

“Come on. Time for the best part.” He grabs your arm and takes you up the stairs and down a long hallway until you reach a set of tall double doors, black and gold of course.

He pushes them open and steps aside for you to walk in first.

The first thing you notice is the big king sized bed in the middle of the room, with dark red bedding and a sheer, black canopy draping off the top from every side of the frame. You briefly wonder how many women he’s fucked on there.

Jaebum walks past you to the middle of the room and spreads his arms out, “So this is our room, what do you think?” With an extra emphasis on the word “our.”

On the outside you give him an annoyed look and roll your eyes, but on the inside, you’re actually screaming. That’s cute.

“It’s cute, actually. The bed, especially, seems cozy.”

He tilts his head to the side, “So the bed is what caught your attention, huh?”

“Because I like to sleep, Prince Jaebum.” 

You hear him sigh, dramatically.

“I know what you’re doing, you know.” He says, as you walk around the room, touching and looking at everything. 

You don’t look at him as a smile creeps on your face, “And what is it I’m doing?”

“You know. That thing where you keep saying things that could have a double meaning.” You turn to look at him and see he’s sitting at the end of the bed now. “What are you up to, Princess?”

He looks absolutely delicious right now. He’s seated so beautifully at the end of the bed, legs parted, and leaning back onto his hands. You imagine how he would react if you just got down on your knees in front of him right now. You subconsciously lick your lips, a little too slow.

“Hello! Princess!” He starts waving his hands around, “What are you thinking about?” He’s smirking now.

You ignore him and continuing looking around at everything. 

He lets you look around a little bit, allowing you to get a little more comfortable with your new home.

“Why don’t you come over here with me,” he’s lying down now, eyes on you.

You slowly walk towards the side of the bed he’s laying on and he scoots over and pats the bed next to him, signaling for you to lie down.

Okay. Laying next to him won’t cause any harm. Right?

---

You two lay in silence for a while, you momentarily forget about all the teasing and banter you two normally do. It’s nice actually. You guys are actually cuddling right now. His arm wrapped over you while you rest on his other.

Jaebum feels different with you. He’s never allowed any girl in his room, let alone his bed. He never cuddled any of the other princesses he fucked, he felt like that involved too much emotion and would complicate things. This, though, with you was very relaxing.

The sound of you speaking breaks the comfortable silence.

“Prince Jaebum ca-”

“You can just call me Jaebum, Princess.”

“Jaebum,” saying just his name feels nice. Like he trusts you.

 “Can I ask you a question and get a very honest answer?”

Jaebum just knows it’s about the rumors. Of course he’ll be honest with you, you’re about to marry him, so what’s the point in lying about it anymore?

“Princess, any question you have I will answer honestly. I have no reason to lie to you, we’re about to be married.” He responds

That makes you smile. You also think maybe it’s just because there’s nothing you could really do about whatever the answer is except just knowing about it from him himself.

“I want to know how many women you’ve fucked.”

 You lean up on your arm, facing him. 

“You want the absolute truth?”

“That’s what I said.”

“I’ve only been with four, one of them isn’t even a princess.”

You sit up fully now. Is he lying to you right now?

“You’re lying. You just told me you were going to be honest.”

“I also told you I have no reason to lie.”

He sits up too, so you’re now sitting across from each other.

“I slept with Princess Sooyoung , you know, the princess of all princesses. She wasn’t a good fuck so I never asked to see her again, which she did not take well. Apparently she thought us fucking meant I wanted her to be my queen, so with the help of her friends, they all spread the rumor about me.”

You can see the sadness in his eyes. He always seemed like he was proud to have such a reputation, but watching him tell the story you can see it actually did bother him, there was just nothing he could do about it and he knew it.

You reach up to rub his arm, in a comforting way. 

“Hey. I believe you, Jaebum.”

He looks up at you with longing eyes. He looks at your lips briefly and then back to your eyes.

You want to kiss him. So bad.

Lucky for you, he leans in first.

His soft lips against yours feels like heaven. You feel like you’re in a dream, getting lost in the motion of your lips moving in sync with his.

You feel his hand touch your thigh and you tense. He notices.

He quickly pulls his hand away and pulls away from the kiss. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything I just-

“Jaebum,” You cut him off. “I wasn’t uncomfortable. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

You move closer to him and grab his hand to put back on your thigh, a little bit higher than where he put it. You lean in to kiss him, this time going lower.

You slowly give him an open mouthed kiss on his neck, sucking on the skin as you pull away and go back up to his lips.

Jaebum could feel himself growing in his pants at the way you just kissed his neck.  He moves his hand up your body from your thigh to your waist and pulls you onto his lap, never breaking the kiss. He makes sure to push his hard on into you so you know exactly how you’re making him feel right now.

The feeling of his dick lightly rubbing against your clit is making you unbelievably wet. You just want him inside you already filling you completely, you can just tell it’s incredibly thick.

Just as you start grinding down even harder against him, the phone rings. You look over and see it’s his mom calling. 

“Jae- Jaebum,” you breathe out, “It’s your mom, you need to answer it.”

He groans and throws his head back in frustration reaching for his phone.

You stay seated on top of him as he speaks to her. He looks really good under you, his lips plump, face red from the heated moment, and hair a little disheveled from running your hands through it.

After about 10 minutes you realize the conversation isn’t ending soon and you’re starting to feel awkward just sitting here and staring at him. You decide to go shower away the day of travel and the arousal that soaked your panties. It was beginning to get uncomfortable.

You move to get up and Jaebum grabs your leg and gives you a questioning look. You mouth ‘shower’ as you continue to get up. 

He looks sad almost.

---

You strip out of your clothes and step into the hot water. You hum in content. This feels really nice. 

Your mind starts to wander back to what was about to happen and you get that feeling in your stomach again. You close your eyes, lean your head back letting the water hit you, and slide your fingers down your chest all the way to where you needed it most. You can just picture what his dick looks like and you remember how it felt against you.

You let out a sigh as you rub your clit to the thought of Jaebum.

You don’t even hear his footsteps as walks in the very spacious shower behind you.

“Are you starting without me, Princess?”

[notnctu]

YAYYYY CONGRATS FOR GETTING MOAR FOLLOWERS, i knew it, u guys are awesome xD, cant believe ure open for request, can i request a scenario for Donghyuck please? the plot is he was her one night stand that she met again when visiting her cousin at the hospital, he was her cousin doctor. Feeling a little hurt but delighted to see her again, Donghyuck flirting with her every time she visit her cousin, after that is up to u, gosh hope my plot doesnt make you guys uncomfortable -_-;;v thank you

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH <3 thank you for requesting, and your plot was totally fine :) i had a fun time writing about dr!donghyuck hehe i secretly like hospital aus lmaosdinjfhew idk why.. you can read it under the cut and i hope you like it <333

(i may or may not have written this while i waited for my jury duty service lol)

-author doie ❀

p.s. soft reminder to everyone that requests are now closed. we apologize for the wait and are doing our best to finish them all! thank you for your patience :)

doctor!donghyuck x reader genre - brief mention of fucking, mainly fluff

when donghyuck clocked in for his graveyard shift, he wasn’t expecting to see the lovely person he spent the most eventful night with. donghyuck finally understands why you left so fast after the one night stand. his new patient is your cousin, odd how fate works sometimes.

he isn’t entirely sure if you’d remember him, actually a bit hesitant to approach you despite needing to give you an update on your cousin’s progress. he’s missed you, not wanting to admit it to himself, but he spent nights wondering if he should call you .. or if you really just saw him as a one night stand.

maybe it was a shot at his pride when you didn’t follow up with him, not knowing that you left because you had gotten a call about your cousin’s accident. just as he walks toward you, you look up from your phone and your mouth hangs slightly open.

and he stops at your cute reaction, remembering how honeyed your moans were in bed and how soft your skin felt underneath his fingertips. he clenches at his clipboard and shakes himself from the sudden flashback.

“donghyuck...” you call his name and it’s absolute music to his ears. your eyes drop to the classic lab coat, spectacles that sit at the tip of his nose. you fucked a doctor? the realization is hitting you like a wall of bricks. “...doctor lee.. i mean.”

he snorts at the formality, “you can just call me donghyuck.. what a surprise, y/n. i didn’t think the next time we meet would be here.”

he eyes you through his glasses, examining your casual laid back attire that is a contrast to the tight clubbing outfit he had met you in. your face is stripped down to just your features, as stunning as he remembers.

“right, the universe is strange.” you laugh awkwardly, like the confidence in your tone only exists in bed. however, he finds this change rather sweet and charming. the only image he knows you by is the hot individual who left shameless hickeys across his neck. this difference completes you, like the icing on a cake.

“i don’t mind though. i’ve been hoping to see you again.” he smiles, dropping any sense of professionalism that he learned in med school.

you’re flustered by his random flirtation, “really? you didn’t seem like you wanted to keep seeing me.”

donghyuck’s throat goes dry, knowing too well that his pride had stopped him from reaching out. “i’m not the best with ... communication.”

“your pride get in the way?” it’s a rhetorical question, but his nervous laughter gives enough confirmation. he looks through his files, finally aware that he has a job to attend to.

“your cousin is progressing well, we can anticipate a speedy recovering in about two weeks time.” you release a deep sigh at the good news, relieving every bad energy that was pent up before.

“that sounds great. thank you for your work.” you smile, “i’m so happy that i could kiss you!” you shout rarely loudly, the receptionists eyeing you strangely over the counter top.

but donghyuck doesn’t seem phased, instead a smirk grows on his face. “we can save the kissing for later, sweet cheeks.” he leans down to whisper into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

he winks at you, before heading back to his patients, looking forward to see you around for the next two weeks.

-

day after day, donghyuck rushes to your cousin’s room in hopes to coincidentally run into you. and if you two can’t feel the tension in the room, everyone else can.

without a fail, he sly bids you a compliment every time he sees you.

“my day is always a whole lot better when i see you.”

“good afternoon, beautiful.”

“you manage to take my breath away effortlessly, in a literal medical sense, it’s not a good thing. but im speaking figuratively in this case.”

donghyuck is so cute and much more talkative than the night you two shared. but when hes interacting with nurses or patients, he’s serious with a few lighthearted jokes to get people to smile. it’s almost like he couldn’t get any better.

and every time you leave, he always finds you to say “i’ll miss you, drive safe”

today is a little different. you catch him lingering in the lobby, chatting with a few receptionists. “goodbye donghyuck.” you grin at him, not wanting to interrupt his conversation.

but as you walk by, he holds your hand to stop you. “i’m getting tired of missing you all the time.” he starts, walking you to the hospital door. hand in your hand. you’re stunned at the action, wondering if the hospital staff are watching the two of you.

“i want to see you outside of the hospital. i want to be with you, talk to you enough to where i don’t have to be polite in our messages.” he lightly squeezes your cheek, stopping at the automatic doors.

and he gathers your hands together, “are you free for dinner tomorrow night?”

you gasp at the offer, feeling butterflies flutter at the pit of your stomach. “yes.”

“great. then, ill miss you until then, drive safe.” he pats your head lovingly, his heart pounding at your acceptance. he feels like he’s soaring in the clouds.

[minjoonalist]

Predilection | Chapter One

Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]

Words: 4k

Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff

Warnings : explicit wording, masturbation, brief hand Job

Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.

———

“Y/n, Park Jimin, and Jeon Jungkook. You three will be housing number 6”

“Are you kidding me…” you whisper, not even bothering to listen to whatever your professor had to say next. You were too busy being stuck on the two names that were just called along with yours, wondering what kind of sick joke the universe had to be playing on you to stick you with the men who ruined you years ago.

This can't be happening...

“Damn, tough luck kid” your best friend Taehyung chimes in next to you, just as the professor in the front of your classroom, moves on to the next housing mates of your Off-campus project. “ Rooming with the man you would kill and the man you would kill for? Ouch.” he cringes just before giving an assuring pat to your back.

You instantly slump down into your seat and dread begins to wash over you.

Silently, you were hoping that some miracle would happen, that this all just a terrible dream and you would wake up five mins late on your alarm like usual. But that's not going to happen and you were slowly realizing that. Still, you dont stop yourself from peeking down a few rows- eyes finding your two targets in front of you who are conveniently facing away from you. When you do however, you see that the two men- whose names are going to be linked to yours for the next few weeks- pay you no mind as you do them.

Wouldn’t they want to know whose despicable soul is going to be stuck with them for an entire week? You ask yourself, with a frown- your heart starting to ache when you notice the both of them cuddled up together. One of them tilting his head into a more comfortable angle on the other's shoulder, a bitter taste coming into your mouth from the sight.

“Tae…” You try to whisper to the male next to you.

“One second.” The boy with vibrant blue hair, shushes you- his dark eyes full of stars as he focuses on the front of the class. “ He has yet to say my name and Im praying to the gay cupid himself, that the love of my life is in my housing…” Taehyung bites his plump lip anxiously.

You scoff at him in return, feeling sorry for your wishful friend “Please, I may have gotten unlucky to be trapped with those two...but the chances of you and him becoming housemates are a good slim to none-” your laugh was suddenly cut off by Tae’s small squeak. You notice the way his eyes sparkle with a flash of excitement, the moment he realizes whose names were about to be called.

“Oh my- in all the holy fucks be with me…” he suddenly gasps- Very dramatically might you add and he practically crushes your tiny hand in excitement.

When did he even grab it?

“Please, let me go.” You wince.

“...Last but not least, I was left with only a pair of two and that would leave both Mr. Kim Taehyung and Mr. Min yoongi.” your professor finishes up his list and Unfortunately, Your best friend squeals in delight causing multiple classmates-including your crush to glance in both of your directions.

The sound echoes throughout the hall Immediately, the both of you blushing- especially once you notice your professor rolls his eyes at the interruption.

Taehyung is the main culprit however, once a certain Min Yoongi himself looks up towards him. His curious cat-like eyes landing instantly on him, assessing him, and then sending a small smile. Taehyung’s eyes widen, mouth parting in shock “s-sorry,” he mumbles with a tiny voice, making eye contact with everyone and finally Yoongi. “ I -uh…I just...was shocked a-and...” he trails off, but never finishes, only to drown in embarrassment from the curious gazes.

“Well I’m glad that you are so expressive of it Mr. Kim, perhaps you could try it when I’m actually done speaking?” Your professor announces with no enthusiasm whatsoever, drawing some of the students back towards him. “ Now as I was saying about your Projects…” While he continues on; Slowly, but surely everyone turns their heads away- deciding there wasn't much else to see.

Tae lets out an audible breath he was holding, letting his chest deflate, but only to pull it back when he notices Yoongi still staring up at him. The man looks as if he was going to burst the second the mint haired male sends him a wink before turning back like the others.

“ I... think I just pissed myself...hopefully…” he finally breathes as if he’d ran out of oxygen.

Now would be your cue to tease Taehyung and tell him how much of a dweeb he was for causing all that attention. Or so he thought, his face turning down when nothing comes from your direction

“Uh babe? You alright? ” He questions while lifting a dark brow.

Absolutely fucking not.

Frozen in your seat, you might as well have been a statue, your own breath sticking to the inside of your lungs when a certain silver haired boy with puffy cheeks and a strong jawline- turns in his boyfriend’s arms and looks up in your direction. With scanning eyes, he looks over everyone curiously, seeming as if he was trying to find one person in particular.

You swallow, heart speeding up when they linger over Tae for a moment and then they were snapping to someone next to him.

You.

He was now staring up unapologetically at you. Jimin smiles brightly with his perfect white teeth- he then gives a silent wave of his ringed hand, a confident lip bite coming soon afterwards. This made your heart and the lower parts of your stomach heat up uncontrollably. A strong sense of adoration and lust falling over you, but then anger, guilt and shame immediately afterwards. You put on a shy fake smile back towards him and he falls for it, turning back to the comfort of a certain raven haired asshole.

In an instant Your shy smile turns into a hard glare for your old friend Jungkook, who stares forward unknowingly. not bothering to look up at whoever caused all that noise.

Typical.

“Is there an off button for those lasers?” Tae questions you, before poking your cheek with an adorable pout.

By this time, your class was near its end and you’ve yet to stop glaring at the couple. “Tell me, between burning him alive or strangling him until you see life leave his eyes… How much do you want to kill Jeon?” Taehyung cackles unattractively while waving a hand over your face.

You then release your vicious energy with a blink and turn towards him, a sickeningly sweet smile plastered on your face. “ how about stabbing him 33 times in the back until all the blood drained from him in various openings?” You retort in an innocent tone, feeling nothing of the sort.

Everyone around you had already begun to clear out as you packed up your things and you followed immediately grabbing your stuff and passing over Tae. The both of you were making your way down your classroom’s stairs when you notice Taehyung sending you a terrified look.

“What?” You ask in a defensive tone.

“ Nothing just-...that was gruesomely specific.” he replies as the both of you were just getting ready to walk out. Him stopping so that you could pass out the front door and he could follow. “It's things like that, that remind me why you can be extremely terrifying.”

You scoff once again and pause to look at him “oh please, It’s what he did to me...metaphorically at least.”

“That's not the same as wanting it physically, you psycho.” He shakes his head with a bemused smile, silently urging you on and he would soon follow. That was until a hand touched Tae’s shoulder, making him turn with you in tow.

You wouldn’t be shocked if Taehyung’s soul left his body. He widens his eyes, facing a half-smiling mint haired boy-a friendly aura contrasting with his brooding stature. Right there, Tae lets out a pained whimper that only both you and him could hear and You giggle in surprise, stepping back from him.

“Um...Tae- ..hyung, right?” Yoongi’s shockingly deep and monotone voice, brings Tae out of his little world.

He pushes up his square rimmed glasses and puts a rough looking hand out to shake. “I’m Min Yoongi- I think you screamed out in surprise earlier, but I wasn't sure if that was from excitement or disgust.” He chuckles dryly, making you wonder if he was genuinely happy or just doing as the professor suggested.

In front of you, Tae only nods at him, giving a quick and soft smile before taking it. You knew without a doubt he was currently flush red and exploding inside from the comment. When Tae doesn't say anything more, Yoongi quickly looks down towards their shaking hands, Taehyung just then realizing how long he kept it going.

“Oh um-” he quickly snatches it away, embarrassment making his cheeks even pinker. “Yeah n-no, that was for something else…” he quickly lies, although yoongi looks as if he doesn't buy it. Instead, He Chooses to nod appeasingly, thinking better to let it pass.

“Oh? ok- well I was hoping we could discuss our living arrangements for—a...bit?” Yoongi attempts, but hesitates when Tae starts to send him a horrified look. “-or not? my bad, that must be such a dumb Idea.” he shakes his head and that’s when your best friend snaps out of his stupidity.

“No!- I mean ...no, that’s a great idea” He then agrees, finally sending back a genuine smile and the two share a stare for a moment too long. You on the other hand had unnoticeably excused yourself the second you realized this conversation no longer had anything to do with you.

Me: heading to the café , I’ll get us a table.

TaeTae: thanks. Be there soon!

After about 10 minutes across the campus, you manage to text Tae when making your way across the quad.. Eventually, you were just a few feet away from the campus’s coffee shop when a familiar laugh enters your ears, making you glance behind you. Right there, you wanted to swallow yourself whole or to scream out into the universe for the injustice.

Jimin.

Oh for fucks sake….you cursed yourself when you saw the striking couple making their way towards you. Jimin, being the perfect model he is, struts confidently under his much taller boyfriend’s arm and Jungkook squeezes him closer, mumbling something that only the both of them could hear. Jimin had once again burst out with laughter.

You want to pout, it feels as if you were intruding on them, a private moment that was meant solely for the two and you happen to be there witnessing it.

Huffing, you quickly turn away before they could notice and continue walking towards the shop- needing a triple shot latte pronto if you were going to get any studying done for the day. Although you felt you were being as invisible as possible- what you didn’t feel was the pair of eyes that were following you the second you left.

“Please can’t we go talk to her?” Jimin whines into Kook’s side.

He pouts wrapping his arm around Jungkook’s waist and snuggles even more into him to add for a better effect. Jungkook’s conflicted look, stares ahead to your walking figure and he could feel his little ball of happiness breathing up his neck “ Not now, Jimin.” he just replies calmly and looks down to him before pecking his plump lips.

Jimin frowns accusingly at him “But she’s so cute when she's flushed, she’s the most adorable thing ever. ” he says thoughtfully and Jungkook looks down at him in awe when a dark look enters Jimin’s eyes- his cute aura switching off immediately.“I wonder how much cuter she would be in bed” He chuckles and Jungkook will never understand the duality that came with his older boyfriend.

However, it was his turn to frown. He stops dead in his tracks to tower over a perplexed Jimin. “You- No.” he simply states “Hell no, not her. Anyone but her” he looks at him almost desperate, pleading to him and he could understand why his boyfriend’s eyes seem to pop out of their skull at the sudden change. Jimin had never seen him act out this way, He was usually so cool and put together. A bit bossy might he add but still...

“Jeon, you asked me for a threesome and I told you that I would be the one to pick the person. Besides, what's wrong with y/n? Shes super sweet from what I’ve seen of her-shes fucking hot.” he bites his bottom lip already imagining how amazing you would look between the both of them. Jungkook would almost blush at his boyfriend’s behavior .

Fuck, what was he suppose to do?

It seemed like Jimin's eyes were so set on you from the second you both waved at each in class . Yeah, Jungkook saw that and it took so much in him not to look up at you and see your beautiful smile. Not when he knew the second he did- you would make it go away. Jimin has never voiced his opinion on wanting someone other than him and the two had been together since senior year of highschool-

that's when it hit him..that painful suppressed memory of your history. There was nothing that could be done and hell if he didn’t regret it every single day. Still, he had no choice, he would have to tell jimin what happened for it to make sense. Jungkook never wanted to, but with the way Jimin frowned up at him with a suspicious glare, he knew the man would never let this go. After all, he only wanted to make him happy right?

Jungkook swallows painfully before he confesses.. “Jimin…y/n she…well the girl fucking hates my guts.”

and she has every right to…

———

“ Okay so let me get this straight” Taehyung looks at you with a cringing face and you sip slowly on your bitter three shot americano. The both of you enter your classroom, walking further up the stairs away from the front of the class. There's about two days left before your trip and it was your final class to attend.

“ You finally get the chance to talk to Min yoongi-”you start and you pause to take in your best friend’s complete stupidity “-a guy you’ve been wanting since the day you first stepped foot on the campus ... and you blew him off…” you ask then finally taking your normal seat at the top of the class.

Tae almost melts into the ground, dramatically falling into the chair next to you. His cheeks flush and he tries his best to hide his face behind his hand. It was impossible to believe that someone with his confidence and sexual history could possibly be acting the way that he was at the moment.

“I panicked- I never panic.” He exclaims sitting up straight. “The worst part is - I think he might actually like me. Y/n I guess we’re soulmates because we really are some dumb bitches.” he sighs and you shake your head pulling out your laptop when you notice some of your classmates beginning to fill in.

Two girls happened to be walking by when he said that and They looked over to you two. you immediately blush “Excuse me? Im not a dumb bitch, you’re on your own there Tae.” You laugh saying it loud enough for them to hear. He pulls a face at you, then looks up for a moment pretending to think “You know, I was just being nice, but forget what I said cause you’re a sad dumb bitch.” he comes to his conclusion and chuckles at you.

your jaw drops and you lift a brow.

He takes it as green light to continue “You see, Im a dumb bitch, because im crushing on a single man who just might be mine by the end of this trip. I’ve talked to him and although I might have blew him off…” he trails off slowly to cringe “ -theres still a good chance I could have him. now YOU on the other hand - have never even spoken to your crush. Might I add, who’s whipped...in a relationship…with the man you told most about it…declaring you sweet heart-” he bops you on your nose with his finger “a sad dumb bitch” tae smiles sweetly and you pout in hurt.

“hm being a dumb bitch doesn’t look too bad now does it?” He mocks you and you elbow him playfully into his chest. You and taehyung were each other’s worst bullies and probably your worst critics. It was most likely the reason you two stuck together for so long, but even though you knew the man was only joking; his words still stung about Jimin.

It's been three days since your professor announced all the housing mates and you quickly realized you were the only one who hasn’t spoken to yours. As everyone walked in to take their seats, you could see the multiple groups of future housings sitting beside each other.

That's when it really dawned on you…

What exactly would happen when all three of you had to meet? Would Jimin even like you? or Did jungkook already convince him you were the garbage he treated you as back then.

You frowned in deep thought. No way… He seemed nice when he waved at you the other day. In fact Jimin always looked nice, hell It was probably one of his charms that captured you the most. Every moment you saw him he was always smiling and helping others when he didn’t even have to.

Taehyung must have noticed the uneasiness on your face when he suddenly asked you about the two. “You’re either really constipated or you’re thinking about thing one and thing two.”

You looked at him in surprise. “It’s that obvious, huh?”

“Y/n, Babe I know you like the back of my hand, so no it's not. But,” he trails off before continuing “ In all seriousness-...I think you should consider asking for new housemates…” he hesitates to say and the look you give him, tells him that he was right to. He grabs your hand “ I- I just don’t want you to get hurt…you’ve liked jimin for so long and the man has been with Jungkook for four years now. I don’t want you be heartbroken the second you realize just who you’re living with for an entire week. You think I don’t notice how you visibly sink into sadness whenever you see the two? It's not healthy for you, nor for them. So it’s time to move on don’t you think?” Taehyung pours his heart into his speech for you and your stomach begins to turn just a bit.

You’ve felt this way for jimin since your junior year. The famous high school sweetheart Park Jimin and his ex- girlfriend had just broken up and you remembered running to your best friend of the time Jeon Jungkook. You were so excited, but also pitied the poor girl that was probably still in love with him.

“I should talk to him right? I mean it's been 3 months already. It seems like he isn’t talking to anyone” you chirped, walking hand in hand with Jeon down your school’s hallway.

He smiles slightly at you humming in return, before he pulls you into his side and wraps his arm around your shoulder. “I don’t know, maybe Jimin's not the kind of guy you want to go for y/n. I don’t he would fit you...” he says a bit low and you scoff.

“Why not? He’s adorable, he’s smart, and sweet… I haven’t been around him enough- but I bet he's funny too.” you grin and it only falters when you see him still looking ahead with a straight face.

“Guk?” You try, making him blink as if he pulled himself from a trance.

“Yeah, he probably is.”

You suddenly become nauseous from the memory. Your eyes moving towards your class’s entrance just in time to catch the devil himself walking in.

Dressed in all black, he holds his hoodie up on his head and his black boots thumps against the ground as he walks to his seat up front. Your brow furrows and you noticed it was only him by himself- looking more miserable than ever... aww.

“ That asshole.” You whisper only for you to hear.

For most of your class, you could only think about how long Jungkook must have held the truth from you. How every now and then you would find yourself glaring at the back of the man’s head and every other time you were busy wondering where Jimin must’ve gone off to.

By now it was almost over and after realizing that for nearly an hour, your thoughts were being consumed with the two ...Taehyung really was right…

Your obsession for jimin wasn’t healthy and the hate you continued to let consume you for jungkook also wasn’t healthy. They were happily In love and that will never have anything to do with you. Whether you wanted it to or not.

——

Jimin laid wide awake on his bed, in the darkness of his room and it had to be somewhere between 2 to -he-should- really- fucking- sleep- before-his-math- test- in- the- morning AM.

I did something wrong…He thought about the words his boyfriend spoke to him the other day. It was a shocking revelation and one that he just couldn’t seem to get his head wrapped around. He then turned on his side, looking down at the cute bunny faced man he’s loved since highschool.

His features, innocent and soft which was the complete opposite from Jungkook. “What did you do ?” Jimin asks him softly, but of course he couldn’t hear.

A sweet image of you, pops up in his mind. How you smiled down at him nervously, returning a slight wave in class the other day and even then, he could remember the pain in your eyes. Jimin felt like a dumbass, how was it that he never noticed you until now? You were literally too cute.So cute, that when jimin tried to close his eyes for the tenth time that night, all he could imagine was you. It didn’t matter the scenario- but a popular one was definitely you underneath him.

He could see you, a sweaty and trembling mess. Your hair falling messily over your flushed face and pillow. He’d dip his head, kissing you passionately once you fell apart, because of him. although he’d wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of his boyfriend’s name coming out your mouth instead.

Ugh why was he thinking about you so much?

There was just something to you, that had Jimin's skin burning-a desire he hadn’t felt in years. It reminded him of when he first met Jungkook. So much, he opted in not attending your class, already knowing that it certainly wouldn’t be the professor he’d imagine taking against that desk.

The image vanishes and now for the 11th time tonight Jimin found himself awake. “Oh no” he groans suddenly once he lifts the covers from his lower half. He’s hard, the kind where rubbing one out or taking a cold shower simply won't do.

A soft sigh leaves his mouth in frustration. He was angry at Jungkook for his actions, but it wasn’t exactly like he could go to your house and ask “Hey! I'm sorry I completely ignore your existence- but do you think you could suck me off really quick?”. Jimin bites his bottom lip with a quiet chuckle.

If only..

“Kook…” He whines, poking the sleeping boy in his face to wake him. “Kookie please wake up.” he begs, leaning over and kissing him softly until he feels him stir. Jungkook awakes smiling wearily, when he realizes Jimin was no longer ignoring him.

“What's wrong babe?” His hoarse voice sends a shiver down Jimin’s spine when it plays on one of his weaknesses.

Stupid, sexy asshole…

Jimin grabs himself, stroking up and down softly. When he lets out soft sighs, Jungkook picks up on them fairly quickly. Sleep leaves him and he rises, watching Jimin's face contort with pleasure.

“Fuck…” he breathes at the hot sight in front of him.

“I thought about it ...her with us. God I couldn’t help it…” Jimin confesses and Jungkook only swallows because he knows exactly who ‘her’ is. “It was fucking hot kook- I want her. I want to fuck her and you baby.” he moans stroking himself just right.

“I want the both of you...”

Jungkook’s persona suddenly darkens and he takes both of Jimin's hands away. The already naked male climbing over his boyfriend and pinning them above his head possessively. “You don’t speak to me all day and now..?- I thought we already talked about this jiminie?” he speaks the words tightly through his teeth. Jimin pouts writhing under him to get some sort of stimulation. Jungkook notices and he takes one of his hands away to stroke Jimin's shaft himself.

“Y/n isn’t right for us. Not for you and especially not for me.” he lies. You were perfect, you always were. But you hated him and he hated you. That's how it should stay.

It has to…

“Ugh..” the silver moans under him. His hips bucking into his boyfriend’s hand. “ Let me top you.” Jimin requests desperately.

Jungkook’s eyes widen “you want to top me?”

Jimin nods “y-yes” .

Jungkook frowns for a second and he sees the predatory look in Jimin's gaze. He hadn’t seen that look in years, so why the hell was he acting this way now?

Y/n what are you doing to him?

+++

Chapter One | Masterlist

[artangel3993]

this is pt 2 of this drabble and it wont rlly make sense w/o it!  time 4 violet. cw for i mean general fuckery that is conditionally present in the box boy universe, contracts n ownership discussed, also mention of drugs

the inspiration for the setting of the underground military bunker turned psychedelic warehouse is from a real case that was i think still the largest lsd bust in the 2000s which is neat. drug history! that link has pics of the actual bunker too and im p sure vice also did a documentary on it, its a really interesting case! anyways i just want to get to bunker time so i can introduce poppy bc i love her. 

prev | next

--

Safiya could not, for the life of her, figure out what the fuck was wrong with this algorithm. She kept running it through her IDE over and over, checked all the spellings of the variables, and it still wouldn’t run the way she needed it to, or be a functional block of code in any way, intended or not (she got that sometimes, when a program would run but it would do something completely fucking different than her intentions.) She dragged her hands down her eyes, and took another long sip of her energy drink. She hadn’t slept in two days and she was still behind on her end of the code for her company’s new game- which fucking sucked, but at the same time, Saf liked the challenge, the conflict. Having something to do. Vi left her with enough money that she’d never have to work a day in her life again and still be fine, but she was good at game development- well. Not right now, but in general. Right now, she was about to ring whoever invented C++ by the neck.

Safiya was set up at the table by the kitchen, hosting her computer, a jumble of folders and piles of unorganized papers, at least three finished Monster’s scattered in between it all, and herself: wrapped in a knitted blanket, the monitor’s blue light bathing her dark skin. Summer was a couple steps away on the couch, lying down on her stomach and watercoloring, her legs idly kicking this way and that in the air (when Saf was working, Summer liked to create with her, she’d put on one of Saf’s records and make all kinds of art in a concentrated, comfortable silence, but watercoloring was always her favorite. Sometimes she’d give Saf painted pictures of the characters in whatever game she was working on, which made Saf smile like an idiot every time and put them someplace safe.) There were still wildflowers and weeds weaved into Summer’s golden hair, mud caking her tennis shoes laid forgotten by the door, and a soft smile on her face; all clues that made Saf infer she’d probably been out in the garden this morning that Summer had recently started. Saf had a lot of land extending from the cottage she’d never explored and left wholly wild and uncared for, so Summer kind of took over. 

Now when Saf looked out one of the front windows, there were all kinds of flowers lining the house, fluffy bumblebees laying on their petals, the beginnings of an apple tree supported by two wooden poles on either side as big as the sapling was. Once, she got dressed in all of her protective clothing because Summer asked if she could bring her outside and show her the full tour, just to see her get excited talking about all the different seeds she’d planted, her plans to tie a swing to the big oak tree out front. Safiya, in those moments, felt like she knew Summer, really. Felt like she knew what she could do to keep her in that good place, and even if she still slipped into being far away, Saf could handle it.

(There were other kinds of days, too, when Summer felt like a completely different person and Safiya was out kicking in the fucking deep end with no understanding of what to do, if anything she could do would make a difference anyways. Sometimes Summer wouldn’t talk for days. Sometimes, she’d sit poised and elegant- on the couch or the rocking chair or her bed in what used to be the spare room- for hours and hours and hours with the only movement being her blinking every so often, her face otherwise looked like it was as trapped in a pose as the rest of her. Safiya would try sitting down with her, and talking as quiet and gentle as her voice would allow, ask her if she was alright, if she wanted to maybe stand up with her and they could take a little walk around the rooms of the cottage, maybe, or- or Saf could put on all of her gear and they could go outside together- take my hand, everything’s okay, you’re safe I promise- but Summer would be unresponsive at that point, staring straight ahead, and Safiya would realize just how fucking unqualified she was to try and help her at all.)

Safiya fell out of her thoughts as the record Summer put on got caught in a groove, and started repeating the same chord over and over. Summer’s head peeked up from the couch, and she walked over to the record player, delicately flipping the vinyl and motioning towards putting it back onto the player.

She never got the chance, though. The front door made a clicking sound, the hinges sighed, and Violet Lowe was standing in the doorframe. Summer dropped the vinyl and it shattered. 

“I thought I changed my locks.” Safiya didn’t move from where she spoke.

Violet shrugged. “You did.” There was quiet. She closed the door behind her to keep the light out.

Safiya stood up, her blanket dropping to the floor, and she felt stupid for being in her sweats and a pair of fucking crocs because it would be really great if she was anything close to intimidating right now. Still, she walked over to Vi, putting herself in between her and Summer. 

Safiya intended to say a lot of things to her, everything that had been boiling in her mind since the morning Vi left and didn’t come back, insults and how could yous and I deserve better than thats. Instead, this is what came out: “I missed you, Vi. So much.” If, Saf thought, she was just a little less emotionally stunted, there’d be tears in her eyes. She really thought Vi wasn’t going to come back this time.

Violet smiled, but it was unreadable behind her sunglasses. She was definitely selling again, it showed in the gold and silver coiling around her fingers in serpentine rings and  dripping down her neck, contrasted starkly against her black cocktail dress. She had new heeled boots that made her stand almost as tall as Summer was, their glossy cold-black finish the exact same shade as her perfectly maintained bob. “I know you missed me. It’s why I came back.”

“Where have you been selling?” Saf knew Vi had friends in the business with mansions up and down the west coast they’d hop around, going from city to city giving out all kinds of compounds and getting rich as fuck in the process, living like psychedelic royalty. But this felt different, she’d been gone for too long.

Vi shook her head. “Not selling. Manufacturing. That’s where the real money is. We don’t have to move around, either, we bought this underground military bunker-”

“A bunker. An underground military bunker.” How the fuck do you just buy an underground military bunker.

Vi mhm’d impatiently, as if she was puzzled as to Saf not being able to keep up. “It used to be for large weapons storage, but it got auctioned off. One of the smartest decisions me and Nic ever made.” Sometimes Saf didn’t recognize the names Vi would rattle off, but Nic, Nic she knew from the one time she’d been with Saf while she was away on her business trips. She swallowed the memories she, frankly, could not be less prepared to deal with, back down.

Violet took Safiya’s hands in hers, the cold metal of her rings making imprints against Saf’s fingers. “Saf, Elana’s making psychoactive compounds nobody’s even theorized about before, with the amount of privacy we have there. You understand? We’re about to change the drug underbelly of this entire nation. And I want you there with me.”

“I’d go with you?” Vi’d never offered to take her with, ever since everything happened that summer, with her Vi, Elana and Nic. Safiya looked back at Summer in her floral sundress (she only wore that one on days when she was feeling good, Saf knew it was her favorite,) who at that point had pressed herself against the wall, standing straight and dead silent, staring at the both of them, her face unreadably calm to most, but Saf knew she only disconnected like that when she was fucking terrified. The record was still in pieces on the ground. With both eyes on her, Summer peeled herself off of the wall and hurriedly started picking up the shattered bits. Safiya moved towards her, breaking Vi’s grip. “It’s alright, Summer, I’ve got this, don’t worry about it-”

“Summer?” Vi said behind her, and Safiya realized just how badly she does not want these two people in her life to interact ever. Fuck. “It suits her so well. How have you liked my birthday present for you so far?”

Safiya stomped back up to Violet, and in a whisper edging on a growl, “We are not doing this right now Vi.” Saf would make grave eye contact with her if it weren’t for the fact that Vi still had her fucking shades on. 

“Now, if you had such a problem with my generosity, she’d be gone by now, wouldn’t she?” And then, after a moment, she added: “Stop acting like a saint, Safiya. You’ve never been a good liar.”

The room buzzed with the echo of her words, and Safiya stood there, quiet, for a dragged out moment, trying to think of some way to spit back at her. It didn’t happen. With the most calm face she can put on right now, she turned back to Summer. “Summer, maybe you should... go outside, for a little bit. I’ll tell you when I’ve shown Violet out.” She makes those last words taste like venom, matter-of-fact, so Vi can hear her anger. 

“No, she can stay.”

Summer stopped dead in her tracks. Looking at the fear in her eyes, that sinking look that overpowered any kind of calm Summer usually had when Saf was there, Saf knew she was lost. Summer was listening to Vi, now, all Vi, the kind of gone Saf was all too familiar with people getting under Vi’s words.

“Anyways,” Vi said, a tad annoyed, as if all of that had just been a mere blip in the conversation, turning her head to address Saf, “yes, you’re coming with. You’d be safe in the bunker, I made sure of it. All of your special lights. I want…. I want you there. With me.”

If this had been in literally any other context, Safiya would’ve smiled at Vi’s effort to communicate her feelings, Saf had been with her for years and she knew how hard it was for her to even understand her own emotions, much less say them out loud. But she was pissed at her, and she was going to hold onto that feeling for as long as she could to make her feel worse. “Summer stays here.” There was no way in hell she was going to let Summer anywhere near Vi’s fucked up drug empire. 

Vi just fucking shrugged. “She’s coming.”

Saf charged at her again, pointing an accusing finger at her and getting close enough until it buried into the fabric of Vi’s dress. “You can act like I’m as fucked up as you are but I would never trust her with your or your f-”

Vi smiled, and batted Saf’s hand off of her as if she was a somewhat disinterested cat. “Let me rephrase that. My name is on her contract. She’s coming.”

[sun-kissed-star]

i wrote this for @dying-poet because i Love Her

trigger warning: hunger, small mentions of death

Race poked his head out the window, breathing in the air of the early morning. He didn’t know why, but he had a feeling it would be a good day. Maybe it was because he hadn’t woken up to the sound of Jack clanging around the roof or a pair of suspenders being thrown at his face.

In fact, he hadn’t heard a word from Jack since the morning bell rang. Crutchie had come down a while ago, leaning on his crutch with his usual grin, but with no Jack in sight.

“Hey, Jackie!” Race shouted, climbing out on the fire escape. He rattled the metal ladder as hard as he could. “Up and at ‘em!”

Race waited a few seconds, then when he didn’t hear Jack whining from the roof, he grabbed the ladder again and started climbing. “Jack!”

When he reached the edge of the roof, he found Jack sitting up on his bedroll. His eyes were drooping and his hat was pulled over his face. Race hoisted himself up, walked over, and shook his shoulder. Jack’s head snapped up.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m up,” he grumbled, adjusting his hat. “Quit whinin’. I’ve been up for,” he interrupted himself with a yawn, “hours.”

Race rolled his eyes. “Well, ya sure don’t look the part. You doin’ okay, Jackie? You’re usually the first one up.”

“I’m fine, kid. Don’t think on it.” Jack yawned again and stumbled to his feet. It was almost as if he was using Race’s shoulder to stay upright. “Let’s get to sellin’, yeah?”

Race nodded slowly. “Yeah. Let’s get to it.”

—

At the selling gate, Race didn’t say anything about letting Jack lean into his side. When the nuns finally showed up with stale rolls and coffee, Race separated from him to grab rations for the little kids.

“Here ya go, guys,” he said, ruffling a kid’s hair as he passed the bread around. He’d discreetly handed his own roll off to Elmer. He could go without breakfast for another day, it wouldn’t kill him.

Then, as he stood up and stretched his arms above his head, Jack materialized at his side. He shoved a bread roll and a cup of coffee into Race’s hands.

“The nuns had some extra this mornin’,” he said. “Eat up, kid.”

“Didn’t they have extra yesterday, too?” Race said, glancing around for a second before biting into the roll.

“Yeah, guess so,” Jack said. The nuns came around to collect their empty cups just as Morris and Oscar opened the gates. Race wolfed down the rest of the roll and licked his fingers, smiling at Jack before turning to the Delanceys to do his usual griping. Jack had an arm around his shoulders, gripping at the fabric of his vest. He was a tactile guy, and Race wasn’t worried. He was fine. Jack was fine.

—

Jack wasn’t fine.

For once, Race had decided to stay in Manhattan to sell. Whether that was because he was worried about Jack or because he had a couple guys in Brooklyn that wanted to punch him in the face, he couldn’t say, but either way it kept him on the same street as Jack for most of the day.

Around noon, Jack wandered over to Race’s spot. He looked half-dazed, like his eyes were focusing on a spot in the distance.

“Wanna go get some lunch?” he said, snatching the coins from Race’s hands to count them.

“Oh, uh, no, I’ll pass,” Race said. “You goin’ down to Jacobi’s?”

Jack frowned, grabbing Race’s paper bag to drag him forward. “Not if you’re not comin’ with,” he whined. “C’mon, you’ve got half a dozen papes left. You’ll be fine.”

Race rolled his eyes, grabbing his coins back. “I don’t got the money. I gotta pay lodgin’ fees for the last couple days -”

“I’ll cover ya,” Jack said automatically. “I got some to spare.”

Race wouldn’t say he agreed to get lunch, but somehow he found himself standing outside Jacobi’s, waiting for Jack to come out with a couple sandwiches. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but his stomach was growling a little. He could pay Jack back later.

The bell above the door chimed, and Jack stepped out with some food wrapped in paper. “Voila,” he said, presenting it with a low bow. “Anything else I can do for you, your Highness?”

“Shuddup,” Race said. Unwrapping the paper, he pulled out half a sandwich on stale bread. He started breaking it in half when Jack shook his head and swatted his hand.

“Hey, none’a that,” he said. “You take it. I had my half while I was waitin’ for Jacobi to wrap it up.”

Race peered at him, taking note of the bags under Jack’s eyes. They were darker than they usually were in contrast to Jack’s pale, sunken face. “...You sure?”

Jack closed his eyes when he nodded, like he just needed a few seconds of rest he hadn’t gotten the night before. Except Crutchie had said he was still out like a light when the morning bell rang, so that didn’t make sense. “Yeah.”

Race kept looking at him, the sandwich still in his hands. He couldn’t shake a certain thought out of his head, and as much as he hated it, it was the only thing other than pure illness he could think of.

He knew what it was like to be hungry. He knew what it was like to try and sell with an empty stomach, and he knew what it was like to be living off the energy of an apple from three days ago. The longest he’d ever gone without eating was four days. Looking at the way Jack’s clothes were hanging off his frame more than normal, Race started wondering how long he’d ever gone.

He looked down at the sandwich, turning it over in his hands. “...The nuns didn’t have extra bread this mornin’, did they?”

He could hear Jack go still. “What’re you on about? ‘Course they did. I think a kid didn’t show up or somethin’. Eat the damn sandwich an-”

Race shook his head, taking a step back and slowly letting his face morph into a glare. “Don’t lie to me, Jackie. I ain’t a little kid. Just… you ain’t been eating, have you?”

Jack was shaking his head, but the dots were connecting in Race’s head and it felt so obvious that he felt like hitting himself. Jack had handed him a sausage and a loaf of bread last night when Race had already given his rations to Romeo. He’d found an apple and some cheese sitting under his bed two days ago. The bread roll and the cup of coffee, the sandwich... he was such an idiot. Jack was an idiot.

“You’ve been givin’ up your food for me.”

Jack sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Racer -”

“Kelly, that ain’t fair! You’re always on my ass about not eatin’, then you turn around and do the same thing! I know you think you’ve gotta save all the damn strays, but starvin’ yourself ain’t gonna fuckin’ help anything!”

“I don’t know what else I can do!” Jack shouted, throwing his hands out. He was breathing heavily, either from adrenaline or lack of energy. “Race, I can only help one kid at a time. And if that means makin’ sure you ain’t gonna die this winter, it’s gotta be like that. When was the last time you took food without handin’ some of it out to the kids?” Race stayed silent. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Well,” Race sputtered, “it ain’t gettin’ us nowhere else when you’re the one missin’ meals. They need you more than me, Jack.”

“That’s so far from the damn truth, I’m gonna -”

“You’re gonna what?” Race said vigorously, stepping forward until their faces were six inches apart. “You’re killin’ yourself, Kelly. There ain’t much you can do to me when you can’t stand on two feet.”

“Race, I-!” Jack suddenly stopped, taking a deep breath as if he needed a minute to collect the thoughts tripping over themselves to get out of his head. “I know. I damn well know that. I know what it’s like to be hungry. The Refuge knocked it in my head pretty good. But you just look so much… happier. You’re actually smiling when your face ain’t pale and lookin’ like you escaped death’s door. If it can’t be me buggin’ the shit out of everyone at sunrise, I want it to be you.”

Race half-smiled. “As much as I appreciate you thinkin’ my mug ain’t half bad,” he said, “the guys need your obnoxious shit almost as much as they need mine. Crutchie’s gonna beat the shit out of me if he finds out I’m the reason you look like you crawled your way up from hell every day.”

“‘Obnoxious’, really? Spendin’ too much time with Davey, huh?”

Race snorted. “Yeah, I’m the one spendin’ quality time with him, sure.” Jack went a little red in the face, and Race spared him some embarrassment by looking down at the sandwich balled up in his hands. It was a little squished, but still good. He broke it in half and waved it in Jack’s face. “Start eatin’, Cowboy,” he said. “They don’t take kids lookin’ as sick as you in the wild west.”

TAG LIST

@booksbroadwayandbagels @tis-my-cigar  @harrynerd  @crutchieee-morris  @seizetheimagines @juliet-the-smol @got-the-east-side  @i-got-personality  @internalscreaming012  @voice-foundshoe-lost   @capncrutch @thatfancyclam  @not-your-cigar  @jjjudeshitposts  @orphan-with-a-stutter @disney-princess-sized  @perpetualbedheadspier @bexlynne  @we-dont-sell-papes @the-woild-is-my-what-now  @you-thinks-wrong-romeo  @pitiful-ambitions  @purplelittlepup @imjusttheoutgoingsidekick @damn-too-many-fandoms  @cattt420  @ben-cook-can-cook @thedolanspineapple @racescoronas@awwwwwwdang @bencookisagod @carryingthedaveyjacobs @disasterbisexualhere @maiawakening @hopeful-broadwaybaby  @racetrackcook  @aw-jus-let-em-try @suddenly-im-respecsable @the-dance-boi  @jessmuell25 @intoomanyfandomstopickaname @be-more-chill-evan-hansen  @marcusisaprettygay  @insane-tomato @tomscaprisun @seasickdolphin @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @have-we-got-news-for-you @papesdontsellthemselves

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia drabble

author's note: hey! went on a lil break hehe! but we back!!! also. im sorry for this. i wanted fluff but also angst so. we have this ig! sorry!

*

"Gray-sama, get in here! Hurry!" Juvia exclaimed from their room as she lounged on their bed, her hand gently rested upon her stomach.

Juvia was always an excitable person, but that was amplified now more than ever. Gray quickly finished up washing dishes and arrived, standing firmly in the doorway.

"What is it?"

"Juvia thinks the baby is kicking!" Her eyes lit up as she removed her glowing eyes from Gray down to her still flat stomach.

He let out an exhale and leaned himself against the wall. "Oh yeah? The baby's kicking at 8 weeks?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Juvia pouted her lips, looking bummed that Gray had brought her back down to reality. Even though she knew there was no way the baby was big enough yet, she was just excited. They only found out she was pregnant just one week before from Porlyusica, and of course Juvia was bouncing off the walls with happiness.

"Okay, maybe baby-chan wasn't kicking." She grumbled. Gray snorted at her adorable look of frustration and decided to lay down next to her.

"Ya' know I actually wouldn't be surprised if it was already kicking. He does have two badass mages for parents, after all." He smirked and propped himself up on his hand.

"This is true." Juvia matched him and turned to her side. "Juvia's sure baby-chan will be kicking in no time."

"So is 'baby-chan' his unofficial name now?" Gray playfully raised a brow.

"For now." Juvia let out a breath of serenity and turned flat on her back. "But don't worry, Juvia already has name ideas." She turned her head to Gray.

"Shocker." Gray sarcastically grumbled.

Juvia paused. "Well, don't you want to hear them?" She said, her voice squirmed with anticipation.

Gray snorted. "I have a feeling you're gonna tell me anyway."

She giggled and flipped herself gently as she rested upon Gray's chest, using her elbows to hold herself up on him.

"Juvia is thinking Gray Jr. for a boy and Violet for a girl." Her smile lifted from ear to ear.

"Gray Jr.? No way." He quickly shot it down. "And don't you think Violet is a bit corny? That's three generations of color names."

Juvia sunk. "Juvia can't think of any name better than Gray for a boy! It's perfect! And Juvia likes color names!"

Gray yawned. "Ok I think it's time for bed. We can talk about your stupid name ideas another time. For now, you and baby Periwinkle should get some sleep." Gray teased as he leaned over to the lamp beside him and flicked it off.

"Ooo Periwinkle! That's cute!" She grinned, quickly bouncing back from Gray's rejection.

"I was just joking!" Gray exclaimed.

Juvia ignored his objections and snuggled up close to him. "Honestly, Juvia doesn't really care about what baby-chan's name is. Juvia will be happy no matter what." She closed her eyes and smiled in bliss.

Gray looked down at her, and although he couldn't see much in the darkness, the moonlight shined in through the window onto her. Her blue hair contrasted beautifully with her creamy skin, and her lashes coated her closed eyes in such a mystical way. Her grin faded to a soft smile as she drifted to sleep. He knew it was just a saying, but she really did seem to be glowing in a different way than before she was pregnant.

She was creating a human life. A life that would belong to him and her. That was different and more special than any spell cast by any of Fairy Tail's mages. This was much more than just magic, and Gray and Juvia were so thankful to be apart of it. Even if this baby wasn't originally what they planned, at least not at that point in time, they were still overjoyed nonetheless.

"Yeah." He quietly agreed with her and matched her in closing his eyes, and they fell into a seeminlgy peaceful sleep.

Juvia awoke to a jolt of pain in her lower stomach. Her body twitched as her mind groggily took in her surroundings. She could tell that it was still night time, and Gray was still asleep. His back was turned to her, as he usually ended up separating himself from her in his sleep. She turned her head and looked at the clock and the time read 4:05 AM.

As she began to wonder why she was awake, she was reminded with another stabbing pain that caused her to wince. She took the blanket off of herself in attempt to get up and use the bathroom, but she was met with a horrific sight.

Her grey pajama pants had been stained in blood. Her eyes widened in terror at what she was seeing, and her heart fell into a deep pit in her stomach. She felt her veins run cold yet her face broke out into a sweat.

"G-gray-sama..." Her voice was a chilling whisper as she nudged him with her elbow. After he didn't wake up, she nudged again, harder, but did not repeat his name.

He grumbled and turned onto his back, still wanting to be asleep. "What is it?" He muttered.

Juvia gulped. "Gray-sama," She felt her eyes well up with tears, but not from the pain in her stomach. "I think something's wrong." Her voice cracked.

"What do you-" His eyes finally opened, and he was stopped dead in his tracks once he finally saw Juvia.

He quickly sat up right beside her. "Oh my god." He said, and that was all he could think to say.

Juvia took in a sharp breath as more pain settled in her stomach, and she instinctively held on to herself. She crunched her eyes shut and tears leaked out of the sides. Gray immediately put his hands atop of hers, hoping that would somehow stop her pain.

"I'm calling Porlyusica." Gray finally decided, and he shot up from their bed and grabbed his communication lacrima that was on their dresser.

He dialed the code as fast as possible and held the phone up to his ear. He looked at Juvia with fear and pain in his eyes as he subconsciously paced back and forth in the room.

After quite a few rings, she picked up the phone. "Hello? What do you want?" She grumbled, as grumpy as ever.

"Porlyusica, it's Gray. Um-- J-Juvia just woke up a-and there's blood and she's in a lot of pain." He ran a hand through his thick tangled hair.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes." She shortly said, and then hung up the phone.

Gray threw the phone aside and knelt beside Juvia as she remained sitting up on the bed, clenching herself in pain.

"Hey," Gray cupped one of Juvia's cheeks in his hand and she finally opened her eyes, looking at him as more tears fell. "It's gonna be alright. Porlyusica's on her way, ok?" His hand ever so slightly shook as he brushed some stray hairs behind her ear. Juvia nodded and let out another wince of pain.

They both had never felt a fear like this before. No battle, enemy, or situation had made them felt what they were feeling in that exact moment.

After what seemed like hours, there was a knock on their door. Gray quickly sprung up and let Porlyusica in, guiding her to their bedroom.

She ran tests, cast spells, and had Juvia drink potions. Neither of them could tell what was going on, but they just hoped for the best. All they could do was hope.

The last spell ended, and a solemn look still remained on the old woman's face. She slowly turned her head upwards towards Juvia, then to Gray, and then back to Juvia. It seemed she was looking for the right words to say, but she didn't need to find them. Everyone knew what had happened.

"I'm so sorry..." Porlyusica finally picked up her gaze and looked at Juvia, and when their eyes met she let out a sob. "You lost the baby."

Juvia brought her hands up to her mouth and covered it, one hand over the other, like she was trying to hold her cries in. Gray was at a loss for any words or actions. He just finally sat himself down on the edge of their bed.

"This wasn't anyone's fault." Porlyusica continued. "It was just early on in the pregnancy. Miscarriages are very common for the whole first trimester." She continued to talk, but her voice faded to almost nothing in Gray and Juvia's ears. The sounds of their beating hearts overpowered her.

"You may feel cramps for the next day or two. Take this potion to ease the pain." She put a small vile on their end table. "Contact me if you need anything else." She turned from Juvia to Gray.

"Thanks." Gray finally looked up at her, and then back down to the ground. Porlyusica nodded and escorted herself out of the couple's apartment.

As soon as the door shut, Juvia let out a loud cry. Gray instantly turned himself around and saw his girlfriend curled up as she sat, weeping into her hands. He came up beside her and wrapped his arm around her small frame, pulling her into his shoulder.

"O-our baby..." Juvia sniffled and continued wailing.

"Shh." Gray lulled as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"I'm so sorry, Gray-sama." She finally quited her sobs.

"Don't you dare apologize." Gray said, more sternly than he meant to. "You heard Porlyusica. This wasn't anyone's fault."

"J-Juvia knows but--"

"But nothing." Gray interrupted and took his hold off of her, positioning himself to see her face which was swollen and soaked with tears.

"Don't apologize for something you didn't do."

She sniffed, took a breath, and wiped at her tears. "Gray-sama is right." She sat herself up and turned her back to Gray, planting herself at the edge of the bed. "Juvia supposes she should shower." Her voice tried to stay still, but it couldn't help but quiver.

There was a moment of pause as Juvia tried to stand up from the bed. As Gray watched her work up the energy to stand, he saw her arms shake as they were pressed beside her. After the shaking, her shoulders began to bob up and down and Gray could hear something escape her mouth that sounded something like a yelp. In the next instant, he grabbed onto Juvia's shoulder and pulled her into him once again, but this time she was pressed on his chest, and Gray wrapped both arms around her.

"J-Juvia needs t-to shower..." She said into Gray's torso with her voice shaking.

"It can wait." Gray said shortly, and held her even tighter, and with the closer embrace came Juvia's tears. She finally reciprocated the hold and dipped into him as she sobbed and sobbed.

Gray repeated the same thing he told Juvia earlier.

"It's gonna' be alright." His voice was low, and he took in a deep breath, inviting in the scent of Juvia's hair. It smelled like coconuts, and it was so familiar to him that it slightly clamed him.

He did mean it. Everything would be alright. Just as anything else, this would heal with time, althought it was hard for either of them to believe. They would get through this. There was no doubt in Gray's mind that they would.

Juvia continued her weeping, and Gray closed his eyes hoping that would somehow block out the horrible noise all around him, but it didn't. He shushed her and stroked the top of her back.

A tear crept out of his closed eyes, and his voice was even lower. "Everything's gonna' be ok." He told himself as he held on to the woman he loved.

[dunk-that-touchdown]

Tsuyoshi Kanamori Headcanons

So these were flagged on my other blog since it was littered with so many porn gifs, so I’m reposting them here! Hope yall enjoy em!!

Warning: Spelling mistakes/errors cuz OP doesn’t like to proofread 

_____________________________________________

Relationship:

I’ll start this off by explaining the type of girl he would fall for because the love of my life has very specific tastes (but please know that he would fall for almost anyone, but what I’m about to explain is the type of girl he seeks out):

Okay, so physically, Tsuyoshi likes himself short girls. Yes, I know it’s such a cliche to have a tall man with a short girl but he can’t help himself. He thinks they are so cute and he loves the contrast of their heights. He likes the fact that he can just pick you up when he wants to hug you or kiss you and it absolutely drives him crazy when he holds your hand. It’s so small compared to his and he loves that his hand can clasp around your entire hand. It makes butterflies flutter in his stomach.

He also likes girls that are in the cute category. Once again, it’s a cliche but I will not change my mind on this. Girls with wide eyes, chubby cheeks, sweet smiles, and soft looking features are his weakness. This man would honestly fall to his knees in front of any girl like this because he just can’t handle how cute they are.

Im terms of personality, he loves a girl that has a sort of innocent and motherly kind of nature. There is a lot going on in Tsuyoshi’s  life which causes him a lot of stress. Being a captain of a school team as well as being a third year prepping for exams can really put a lot on his shoulders and he would love to have a girlfriend that would be able to help him relieve some of that stress and take some of his daily duties off his shoulders. Things like coming to help him with his chores, helping him study, giving him gentle reminders of when to take a break or go to sleep, helping him with his meal prep and schedule for sumo would be something he would absolutely love his girlfriend for.

He is also a sucker for innocent girls or at least innocent looking. In addition to wanting to be taken care of, he wants to be able to protect his girlfriend and having them look so innocent makes his drive to protect her even stronger. He would never let any harm befall his girlfriend and if she was ever in danger, he would be there for her as fast as he could.

Honestly, he would even beat up any person that dared to cause his girlfriend mild discomfort. You don’t mess with his girl and get away with it, okay?

Now onto some general relationship headcanons:

There is honestly nothing this man wouldn’t do for you if it meant seeing you smile. He would walk to the ends of the earth for you if it meant it would bring a smile on to your face. Whenever you’re feeling down, you can always expect him to come to your house with bundles of sweet goodies, teddy bears, and kisses to make you feel better. He’s just such a sweet boy.

He’s very protective of you too. He doesn’t want anything bad happening to you at any point and will always go out of his way to make sure that you are safe. He even formed a protection squad for you comprised of all the first years of the sumo club and some other delinquents from his school. They escort you home when Tsuyoshi can’t do so himself, they watch out for you when you’re out with your friends in a sketchy looking neighborhood and they even come to your house to help you make dinner from time to time because eventually they are going to become your ‘sons’

To be honest, you’ll end up as he mother of the sumo club and no one questions it. They all call you mother and treat you with the utmost respect.

He is kind of shy around you but trust me when I say that it’s so adorable. Like in the beginning of your relationship he gets so flustered by the smallest things that you do. If you laugh at a joke he made, his cheeks will turn a bright pink and he’ll try to look away from you so that you won’t be able to see it but you would have spotted it and it’s just… so cute. If you tease him at all about it, he’ll just stutter and fumble around his words, only making him cuter.

He is such a sweet boyfriend. Like I know I already said this but it’s fucking true. Even though he looks like he could fucking kill you with his bare hands, Tsuyoshi is an absolute teddy bear and only ever wants to see you smiling and happy. Home boy honestly loves for your smile and if anything ever made you sad, he would be right there to help bring a smile back onto your face.

There is honestly nothing this man wouldn’t do for you if it meant seeing you smile. He would walk to the ends of the earth for you if it meant it would bring a smile on to your face. Whenever you’re feeling down, you can always expect him to come to your house with bundles of sweet goodies, teddy bears, and kisses to make you feel better.

He is also very much a gentleman. He treats you with the utmost respect and care and won’t let you waste your precious energy on anything if he has the power or opportunity to do it for you. So things like opening doors for you, pushing in your chair, paying for food, fixing your sink, or wiping your tears away when you cry are all the hints he will and wants to do for you. You are his everything and there is nothing that is going to stop him from providing for you. 

Now it’s canon that Tsuyoshi is a shy boyo. He gets flustered around women pretty easily and has a hard time talking them and when it comes to his girlfriend, he’s even more so, especially when it comes to forms of affection during the beginning of your relationship. He is afraid that he might hurt you or make you uncomfortable because his hands are so big and usually just waits for you to initiate any kind of physical affection because he just has too many worries when it comes to being the one to touch you first.

However, as your relationship progresses, he’ll be a little more forward and begin to imitate forms of affection first. He’d start off with simple hand holding or letting you latch onto his arm as you both walk together or sit beside each other. There is nothing this man loves more than just having you close to him and he’s always dreamed about you holding his hand and having it actually become a reality just makes him so happy. Eventually he will become a lot more comfortable with touching you and will go for bolder approaches to affection like kissing you, hugging you, and just overall touching you.

But honestly he’s a Slut holding your hand and kissing your forehead though. The gesture is just so soft and innocent and intimate and he just lives for it. He also just loves playing with your fingers randomly, comparing them to his and intertwining them and planting soft kisses on them. Compared to his, your hands and fingers are just so dainty and cute and he can’t help but admire them any chance he gets.

Actually, this guy just likes touching you in general. Tsuyoshi is he type of man that will want to be around you 24/7 because he just loves you so much and always wants to know that you’re doing well. Wherever you go, he will always have some part of him touching you, but like I said, holding your hand is his favorite thing to do. Other than that, it’s having an arm around your waist or linking your arms together when you’re walking.

He gets you flowers every other day with the cutest little hand written card that reminds you of how much he loves. Each bouquet of flowers he gets you always has a meaning to it and a card to match (even though his handwriting is a little sloppy). One day you’ll get a bouquet of Arbutus flowers to show that he loves only you with a heartfelt letter going into detail as to why he loves you. The next day you’ll get a bouquet of daffodils to show his desire to love you and how he wants to show affection at any given moment with yet another letter going into detail. However, the flowers he loves getting you most often are roses. It’s pretty cliche but he thinks they’re just as beautiful as you and they are such a universal symbol of love, though he never gets you them in a bouquet. It’s only ever a single rose and he always gives them to you in person along with a sweet kiss.

My husband is super sweet and cute, alright.

He’s the type of boyfriend that will take as long as it needs to understand you and how you’re feeling. The last thing he’ll get want is for you to be upset and will let you take your anger out on him if need be. He’ll sit with you for as long as you need, letting you rant to him and tell him exactly why you’re upset. If it has nothing to do with anger or sadness and you just want to talk to him about something that you’re not comfortable with or familiar with, he will be all ears for you. He wants to be someone you can go to to talk about anything, grounding you and keeping you comfortable and safe.

He’s also the type of boyfriend to do the most ridiculous or mundane things for you when you’re on your period. He will go to hell and back to get you something that probably doesn’t even exist because you mentioned it in your sleep or something. Yoshi just wants you to be comfortable and feel little to no pain when you’re on your period. If you need something to punch because your cramps are too much to handle, go ahead and punch him. He doesn’t mind. He would even suggest it. If you need to cry, he has two free shoulders for you to cry on as well as a vacant lap that you can sit on to cuddle up to him if you need. He’s just very accommodating and understands that what you are going through is painful and will do all that he can to help. If there is stuff he doesn’t know, you bet he’s going to do research if you complain about something he doesn’t quite understand.

Loves having you nap with him!!! Like listen, this man is the softest and warmest person on his team and cuddling with him is like a dream. After he’s eaten his chanko and it’s time for a nap, he’ll call you over just so he can have you in his arms, sleeping peacefully cuddled to his chest. It’s honestly the cutest thing waking up to him because he does that sucky thing in his sleep. Yunno what I’m talking about? Babies do it in their sleep when they don’t have a pacifier and they’re just sucking on their tongue or lower lip. Yoshi does that and it’s just so heart melting seeing him do it. (Though he will deny it if you ever bring it up)

Lunch dates are a must. Almost all your dates happen during lunch, whether or at school or otherwise. He is usually the one to make lunch and then take a bus or train over to your school and eat with you. He is a very good cook and always makes you your favorite foods and desserts and feels such a great sense of pride when you compliment his work.

However, he does have a certain fondness for the sea so he’ll take you on his father’s boat for a date. He likes taking you to different areas in the ocean and telling you all about it since he’s a bit of a marine biology nerd. He knows all there is to know about marine life and can identify almost any sea animal or plant. It’s so captivating seeing how passionately he talks about everything and you can’t help but blush when he answered a question you have for him in such expert detail.

He’s actually very in tune with sea animals as well and they actually like him back?!? So lots of dates where he takes you swimming with different types of fish and maybe even a dolphin or two. He loves the look on your face when you see all the different fish and tries to take as many pictures of you as he can whilst in the water.

Listen, Tsuyoshi is a big guy and being a big guy means he needs big clothes and his clothes are just always so warm and big and comforting, so it’s only natural that you steal them, right?

He just… he loves seeing you in his clothes man. It’s just so cute to him. If you wear his signature black shirt, he’ll probably die from how hot his cheeks will get at the sight of you. The way his shirt just engulfs your body and makes you look so innocent and angelic is just too much for him.

Speaking of clothes, you guys totally match! You were the one to convince him to do it and he actually really likes it. Whenever you go out on dates or to a get together with some friends, you guys always make it a point to match clothes with each other. It doesn’t have to be exact but matching colors and maybe shirts is something you both do often and everyone thinks it’s just so cute seeing you too like that. This big intimidating dude wearing a matching pink shirt with his sweet and short girlfriend is just a heart stopper for everyone.

Lives for your selfies. Every time you send him a picture of yourself, he always feels his knees go weak and his heartbeat flutter in his chest. You are just so cute and beautiful to him and he saves each and every photo you send to him. It doesn’t matter if they actual cute photos or ones with you wearing a face mask on after only having 2 hours of sleep, he is going to cherish each one.

However, he Doesn’t really take his own though. He isn’t really a photo taking kind of guy and always thinks he looks odd in pictures. It’s usually you taking candid pictures of him and sending them to him to have as well as keeping

You guys have the cutest pet names for each other! He loves calling you things like: “Muffin, sweetie, gumdrop, bright eyes, and sugarplum” he thinks those are names that fit you so well and loves using them for you. On your side, calling him: “(teddy) bear, babe, Tiger, Tsu-chan, and honey bear” are some names that both you and him like.

Tsuyoshi loves kids and babies but he is absolutely horrible with them, though not on purpose. Young kids just find him so scary looking and he almost always makes them cry when they make contact with him but he tries his best to make em smile again.

Often times, he gets a bit down when babies cry around him because he really does love kids and he’d like to have a few of his own someday with you.

When he gets all upset about it, you’ll have to come and comfort him. He just doesn’t understand why babies are so afraid of him when all he wants to do is play with em.

I can totally see Tsuyoshi having a bunch of girls and then a single boy. He would have at least four girls and a baby boy as his last child and he would spoil them all to hell.

His first born girl would be his absolute princess and for a while he would be wrapped around her finger, doing any and everything she wanted him to do. Though, she wouldn’t ever want much because she’s such a shy sweetie pie that loves her father to pieces.

He would then have twin girls that are just so rambunctious and energetic that he has a hard time keeping up with them.

His last girl would be much like her mother and yet again, he would be wrapped around her finger.

His son would be like a mini version of him and he loves it so much. He would teach his son how to protect his mother and sisters and how to treat women with respect and it’s just so cute seeing this mini Tsuyoshi waddle around trying to make sure all of his older sisters are okay and giving his mother tissues and hugs and kisses throughout the day to show his affection.

NSFW:

Okay, let's start off with this big boys dick. It’s fucking thick, okay? His cock is a little on the shorter side, being 5.3 inches long but holy shit it is too thick to be real. His cock could do some serious damage to you if you don’t properly prepare beforehand. Not to mention that he’s a bit of a grower too but not by much since it’s only 5.5 inches once fully erect. You can bet that he also has some pretty impressive veins on his cock too that are pretty sensitive~! The tip of his cock matches the girth of his shaft and it’s such a good feeling having it go inside you. It’s also full of rich pink tones that are honestly so drool worthy because it makes his cock look so pretty. A pretty cock for a pretty man.

He also has a lot of pubic hair though he shaves it in a way that you can’t really see it when he wears his mawashi belt but he doesn’t do it often. He doesn’t really tend to his pubes all that much because he just doesn’t really see the point in shaving it all away if it’s just going to grow back. If he has an important bout he is taking part in, then he will shave down a little bit just so that you can’t see much of his pubic hair, but he leaves the rest of it unattended.

He actually quite likes the way his pubic area looks with all the hair and thinks it’s a lot manlier than being completely bare down there. This goes for his girlfriend too. He likes his girl a bit bushier than the norm. It’s not a necessity, but he just thinks it makes his girlfriend a lot more natural and womanly when they have at least some pubic hair but he’s overall satisfied if she wants to keep herself bare or not.

Now like I said before, Tsuyoshi is a pretty shy man when it comes to women… but dude does have some experience under his belt. Mostly during his second year, Tsuyoshi was chased after by a lot of girls from different schools due to his performances in his bouts. Who wouldn’t love seeing that tall ass man and his thick thighs take down other men so easily? One or two girls would have been luckier than others by having taken Tsuyoshi to bed with them, but that’s about it.

With that being said, Tsuyoshi knows what he is doing and is going to treat you very well when he makes love to you. Yup, you heard me right. Home boy makes love to you. Rough fucking is good and all but what he really wants to do is take his time with you, let you feel him and how much he burns for you.

He is a gentleman in the streets but a freak in the sheets. He is a dirty man. Very dirty~! His sex drive is a normal for a man at his age, thinking about sex and women whenever he has a moment to spare. With being a part of the sumo club, he hasn’t really had a lot of experience with women (like I said, he’s only really been with one or two girls sexually in his life) but he has had a lot of time to think about some rather raunchy sexual fantasies he would just love to try out with someone he has really found a good connection with.

He is very skilled when it comes to using his tongue and fingers. He could honestly make you cum ten times over with just his fingers or his tongue.

His fingers are thick and long, good for reaching deep inside you and really giving your pissy a good stretch. All he ever needs is a single finger to really prepare you well for his cock because that’s just how fucking thick they are. Not to mention that they are pretty calloused too so the texture of them against your soft, wet folds is to die for.

Now this boy’s tongue… holy hell his tongue. It’s wide as hell and was basically made for eating out some good pussy. He likes to eat you or slowly, lapping up at you with long, slow livks that are bound to drive you insane. He enjoys taking his time to really taste you and build you up to a slow burning orgasm before you both get down to the real business.

Long, deep thrusts is what Tsuyoshi is best at. Sex with him is always pretty slow, but it’s incredibly intense. He wants you to be able to feel each and every movement he makes, feel his thick cock sliding in and out of you, how it stretches you and makes you moan. He likes to be able to bury himself deep inside you before pulling out and seeing if he can get even deeper. He thinks it’s the perfect way to have sex because the build up is so hot and frustrating but then the finish is so blissful and intense.

Tsuyoshi doesn’t mind having sex in the missionary position or whatever position you suggest, but a few positions that he really likes are:

Concubine - this is a type of doggy style position that allows for good penetration and lots of touching on the male’s part. Since Tsuyoshi is such a slut for touching you, it’s the perfect position for him. He can control the pace as well as touch you all over whenever he pleases. He can have his hands on your hips, holding you tight as he thrusts himself into you or he can leave forward a bit and cup your breasts and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he fucks you nice and slow.

London Bridge - this is a sex position that allows for lots of face to face contact and plenty of deep penetration. This is perfect or the both of you because in this position, once again Tsuyoshi can control the pace and tough you how he pleases, but he also has access to a special little place on you that he knows will drive you wild: your clit. When in this position, when you’re getting closer and closer to your climax, he will pinch and play with your clit slowly, helping push you over the edge and cum hard around his cock.

Eagle - now if you’re anything like me, you love having a man put his weight on you and this is exactly what this position calls for. Again, lots of deep penetration and clitoral stimulation and him controlling the pace. You both will be able to see one another and all of the pleasures faces you make as he fucks You into the sheets.

Time for his kinks!!!

Tsuyoshi is hella into biting! Now, he doesn’t like to do so roughly because he is afraid of hurting you, but he does like to nibble and bite you hard enough to leave light marks on you. He just needs to put his mouth and teeth on you when he feels himself sinking deeper into the pleasure that you are surrounding him in. However, when he does this, he doesn’t moan as much which really sucks because his moans are so freaking sweet.

Mutual masturbation is something he is into. He thinks it’s so hot being comfortable enough around each other to be able to masturbate in front of one another. He likes to watch you tend to yourself, showing him all the ways in which you liked to be touched as he does the same for you. This usually happens in the beginning stages of your relationship, but he still enjoys doing it when you guys are deep into your relationship or even when you are married.

Face sitting!!!! Face sitting drives this man fucking insane! He loves having his head between your thighs, your pussy sopping wet and waiting for his tongue and mouth. He likes feeling you shake and try to grab onto him when he eats you out like this. And the sounds you let out makes him so weak, he can’t help but let out long groans of satisfaction at each little sound you make.

Light spanking. I say light because he doesn’t really want to hurt you at all but he still wants to spank you a bit. The man has big ass, heavy ass, thick ass hands that are bound to leave more than just a little mark on you if he spanks you. He is very cautious when he spanks you and mainly adds it into foreplay rather than doing it during the actual act of sex.

He has a pretty big impregnation kink. He wants to cum deep inside you, giving you everything he has before pulling out and plugging you up with his fingers. He likes the thought of it potentially getting you pregnant even though he pretty much knows it won’t since you’re on a pretty good protection plan but he still likes to hope. It’s a huge turn on for him, having you carry his child. He doesn’t know where he picked up such a kink from but I’m sure it’ll never fade.

Did I mention he’s an ass man? This man just… loves your ass so much. He loves kissing it, biting it, spanking it, and dare I fucking say he likes eating it as well. Just anything to do with your ass, he wants to drown himself in it. Even out of the bedroom, he likes to lay on your ass or give it a little squeeze or a pinch every now and again.

Loves leaving love marks on your thighs and ass! Can’t forget that. It makes him so hot seeing all his little love marks littered over your thighs. He likes to place kisses on them after sex or run his fingers along them. Doing so almost always gets him back in the mood and ready to make some more.

How could I forget thigh riding?!?! Please ride his thigh, it’s so sexy to him. Especially when you’re desperate and needy to get off. It’s like his way of teasing you. He’ll have you sit on his thigh, completely naked and already dripping for him. He’ll instruct you on how fast you’re allowed to go and when you’re allowed to cum. As you’re riding his thigh he’ll play with your nipples, bringing one into his mouth and sucking on it as his hands fondle your ass or your clit. It’s such an intense experience, especially when he makes you look at him when you cum.

[parchmints]

JuLance Day 31 - Magic

Check out my thread on twitter to see all the prompts at once (the tumblr app messes with formatting so I recommend twitter if you’re using mobile)! All prompts connect together to form one overarching story!

First | Previous

day 31/31 - Magic

Set the evening Lance left Cuba for Sam Holt’s bunker, or an epilogue or sorts. 

(It’s still July 31st here im valid! Wow here’s the last one and it tipped me over 50k so I basically NaNoWriMo’d this bih. Big thanks to @lancearchive for the beta!)

Day 31: Magic

Turns out, Sam’s weird, dark tech bunker is actually a lot more than a weird, dark tech bunker. It’s an abandoned underground Garrison training simulator meant to teach cadets proper quarantine procedures in case of a nuclear attack or, heaven forbid, an alien one. The front part (and the only part Lance has seen) is the tech lab, but beyond that is an emptied armory, working kitchens, and a fully furnished dorm hall that Allura, Coran, and Shiro graciously cleaned and prepared for them all while the others were visiting family.

Lance has just gotten settled into his new digs when he starts wandering down the hall, whistling and walking like he’s on the pier. It’s late evening now and everyone else seems to have gone to their room after a long first day of castleship-building. Lance should also probably be in bed since he was up at the crack of dawn and has to be up just as early tomorrow, but he can’t. He’s on a mission.

With his hands tucked into his jacket pockets, Lance continues down the hallway, looking bored until he comes to a door at the end. Casually, Lance knocks on the door, face flat and free of emotion.

The door whirs open and behind it is Keith, looking just as passive as Lance.

“Oh, Lance. Do you need something?” Keith asks, looking down both ways of the hall.

Lance also lets his eyes do a precursory scan of the area and once he’s satisfied, he answers, “yeah, actually. I wanted to go over these new evasive maneuvers you wanted us to get familiar with. I’m a little confused by some of them.”

“Sure, come inside and we can go over it,” Keith says, stepping to the side and opening his arm out in invitation for Lance to enter.

Lance shrugs and steps through the door, looking around as he does and turning back to face Keith. The harsh, fluorescent light on the ceiling is off while a small lamp on the corner desk is illuminated, casting the whole room in a dim light that blankets the space in soft shadows, making it feel intimate and moody.

“So, we’re sticking with the emo aesthetic, huh? Maybe we can get you some punk posters and--”

The door whirs closed.

“--maybe some black curtains to really--”

Lance’s sentence is lost as Keith comes hurtling towards him, grabbing at his wrists. Keith forces them backward with heated haste to the nearest wall and once Lance’s back finds it, Keith pins Lance’s wrists to either side of his head.

Lance gasps upon impact--not because Keith was too forceful, but because his entire body is already on fire from anticipation at Keith’s next move. Not to mention the downright dangerous look Keith is giving him would shock a gasp from anyone, much less his completely and utterly smitten boyfriend.

Impatient, Keith presses a hot kiss to Lance’s lips and angles his head to slot their lips together better, then sighs into it. Keith’s hands on Lance’s wrists are firm--nowhere near enough to be uncomfortable or painful, but definitely enough to have Lance’s pulse skyrocketing.

He knew when they texted each other to meet in the evening that something like this would happen--Keith being impatient as he is--but Lance wasn’t prepared for such a bold “hello”. In fact, the last time they kissed was in Cuba where Keith was the meek one.

But that was three days ago. And Lance has a feeling Keith missed him.

When Keith’s attention wanders from Lance’s mouth to the outline of his jaw to his throat, Lance decides he should find out for sure. “Miss me?” Lance asks, meaning to sound teasing, but only coming across as breathless and weak instead. Keith continues to pepper kisses down Lance’s neck and he wonders if he’s trying the same technique Lance used on him in Cuba. There’s something endearing in that--very sweet seeing as he’s likely just attempting things he thinks Lance will like based on what he’s done--but Lance is way too distracted to think deeply on it.

Lance hums at the sensation of Keith’s warm breath and mouth at his collarbone and shivers when he lingers there. That finally gets Keith to leave Lance’s neck and face him, his face a sight to behold--eyes lidded, irises blown black, and the evilest smirk Lance has ever seen on his face. Lance’s breath hitches again, his insides bubbling at how devastatingly good Keith looks right now.

“Three days was a long time,” Keith says so low and husky that it punches square Lance in the gut. “So, yeah, I missed you.”

With a small huff, all of the air inside Lance’s lungs is gone and he pushes his wrists against Keith’s hands. Keith removes his grip from Lance’s wrists immediately and Lance wastes no time using his newly freed hands to cradle Keith’s face.

He kisses him then, Keith’s hands firmly placed on Lance’s hips and Lance’s thumbs tracing along the line of Keith’s jaw. Wanting to be even closer, Lance slips his arms around Keith’s neck and Keith responds by wrapping his arms around Lance’s torso, bringing them flush together.

And suddenly, it’s a completely different kiss. Where it was once needy and passionate and heated, now it’s patient and comforting and loving. They aren’t moving as much, instead letting each slide of lips linger in contrast to the kinetic energy they had before. It’s impossibly tender. Lance feels like they’re pouring some unknown emotion into each other, like they’re both collapsing and falling apart, but they can’t completely because they’re holding each other up.

And it’s...sad. They’re both sad. And they know it--they both know it and they’re comforting each other through a kiss, finding solace in the slow, easy release and warm reassurance of touch.

Finally, they separate, but not really as they gently press their foreheads together, their arms still just as tightly wound around each other. Lance examines Keith’s face--his cheeks are flush, but his eyes are downcast and clearly lost in thought.

“Hey,” Lance says in a gentle whisper. “You okay?”

Keith doesn’t raise his eyes to meet Lance’s, but instead, his brow furrows at the question.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I think...I think I’m not.”

Hearing that, Keith leans back to properly look at Lance and asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Here, let’s sit down,” Lance says, eyeing the wall-adjacent bed, his knees suddenly feeling weak. Keith, unraveling himself from Lance, takes his hand and leads him to the bed. They both kick off their shoes and sit down, their backs pressed against the wall and their legs folded beneath them.

They’re silent for a long while, both of them deep in thought, but Lance places his hand on Keith’s knee and rubs his thumb against it to let him know he’s still there and supporting him. Then, Lance starts thinking, tries to figure out what made him suddenly so tired and heartsick when he should have been happy and distracted.

The answer honestly isn’t as complicated or mysterious as he might have thought since it comes to him in a startling rush.

Of course, that’s what’s wrong, Lance thinks, laying his head against Keith’s shoulder and the crook of his neck with a sigh. Keith gently presses his cheek to the top of Lance’s head and stacks his hand over Lance’s at his knee.

“So?” Keith asks, voice careful.

Lance’s lids softly fall over his eyes as he takes another breath, steadying himself while he focuses on the warmth of Keith’s shoulder and hand.

“Today was...hard.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I thought I was okay, y’know? Like, I knew I was gonna have to leave to help work on the castle, but it still just...sucked. Saying goodbye sucks.”

Keith adjusts his cheek a little against Lance’s hair and hums. “It really does.”

“Yeah, and I kept telling myself ‘hey, you can visit almost every day! This is way easier than when you were fourteen and had to leave for Garrison for months at a time! If you were okay then, why are you upset now?’ y’know? This isn’t even really goodbye.”

“Because it’s the start of goodbye,” Keith muses, voice low and comforting. “It’s the start of us working away from them. You’re not irrational or whatever it is you’re trying to imply, so like...it’s understandable why you’re sad and why today was hard.”

Slowly, Lance lifts his head to look at him, Keith taking his head back to let him, and Lance stares at him. His chest is filling and swelling with affection and just like that, Lance feels lighter than he has all day.

“When did you get like this?” he asks, voice sweet as he eyes Keith’s lips.

“Like what?”

“Like how did you get to know exactly what I need to hear?”

“Oh...think it’s ‘cause I’ve been spending so much time with you. Learned from the best.”

Lance grins at the praise and his stomach does the flip that he’s starting to associate with Keith.

“Hoo boy, I like boyfriend Keith. He’s sweet,” Lance says and presses a lingering kiss to Keith’s mouth. When they separate, Lance’s smirk is devious. “Tastes sweet too.”

Keith groans and playfully shoves Lance’s shoulder, clearly embarrassed and Lance laughs. “God--well, so far, boyfriend Lance is gross and says gross things.”

“Hmm,” Lance hums, kissing his cheek. “I think you like boyfriend Lance just fine.”

“Maybe.”

“Taking that as a ‘yes’,” Lance says with another cheek kiss. “Thanks, babe. I feel better.”

Keith smiles at him, sincere and fond. “I’m glad.”

“Alright, my turn to be good boyfriend. What’s up?”

“What do you mean?”

Lance cocks his head to the side and raises an eyebrow. “Something’s bothering you too right?”

“Oh,” Keith says, rubbing the base of his neck. “Uh, I mean--I don’t know--I’m not bothered it’s just…”

“What?”

“Well, the day before your surprise party, Krolia and I went to visit my dad’s grave.”

“Wait, you what?”

“I--yeah.”

“Keith, that’s huge. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m telling you now.”

“Yeah, I know, but if I knew I could have, I dunno, been there for you,” Lance says, squeezing Keith’s hand.

“You were with your family, Lance. I was going to tell you, just after. It was only a couple days.”

Lance studies Keith’s face as new insecurities bubble up in his mind--does he not trust me? Should I have known something was up? He’s done so much to take care of me and I haven’t helped him at all. Oh my god, I’m a terrible boyfriend.

Stop, a voice in his head interrupts. This isn’t about you right now.

Lance sighs and gives Keith’s hand another squeeze. “Sorry, you’re right. That was really thoughtful, so thank you. I just--I just want you to know you can just always come to me with this stuff. Okay?”

“Yeah, I know,” Keith says with a small smile.

“Good,” Lance says, smiling back. “So, how did it go? Was it weird being there with your mom?”

Keith’s smile fades as he lets out an exhale.

“I mean, yeah, it was, but it wasn’t bad weird. It was just…” he says, eyes looking straight out into the room as if he’s searching the walls for the right words. “It was like...like he died all over again--or no, not died, but I guess it was like going through it again because Krolia was going through it for the first time. I mean, obviously she’s known for years, but I don’t think it really hit her until she saw it and...I don’t know.

“It just made me think of what would have happened if she stayed. I know she had her reasons and they were good reasons, but I, um--I, uh, I don’t know--” he says, a clear lump in his throat forming as his eyes gloss over, but he powers through it. “You can’t change the past, but it just...it got me thinking.”

Lance doesn’t know what to say; he’s not sure there’s anything to say, but he knows he has to do something, so he does the first thing he can think of--moving forward, he wraps his arms around Keith and holds him close. Keith stills for just a moment before he melts into it, pouring his weight onto Lance, his forehead pressed into the crook of Lance’s neck. Lance’s grip gets tighter and Keith gently hooks his arms around Lance’s back.

For a moment, they just breathe together, Lance rubbing circles on Keith’s back as he feels a barely-there wetness on his shoulder. Lance feels his heartbreak for Keith, knowing he can’t truly understand, but understanding enough to know it’s a pain that never goes away.

Still, Lance promises in that moment that he’ll be whatever Keith needs and that every time he feels like this, that Lance will be able to hold him like this and swear to him that he’s not alone. Lance is never going to let him be alone again.

With the promise fresh in his mind and fresh in his heart, Lance puts the entire sentiment into one sentence--he places it delicately next to Keith’s ear, quiet and gentle, but firm enough to land--

“I love you.”

Keith tightens his grip on Lance and lets out a shaky breath onto his shoulder.

“I love you too,” Keith says, muffled and so quiet Lance wouldn’t have heard it if they were any further apart.

Lance hums as he pulls away--grabbing Keith’s arms as he does--and slowly lies down on the bed, beckoning Keith to come with him. “C’mere.”

Keith complies without question and drapes himself over Lance’s chest, their legs twisting and knocking together. Again, they end up silent, the only sound between them being their rhythmic breathing as Lance cards his fingers through Keith’s hair.

Eventually, Lance finds himself humming--it’s that old love song Luís taught him on the guitar and it falls out of Lance like it’s nothing. Keith is a heavy, warm weight on him and he has one hand placed underneath Lance’s shirt at the small of his back, thumb moving back-and-forth over the skin there.

“Hey,” Lance says, breaking the fragile quiet as gently as he can. “Do you think, one day, you’d let me come and visit your dad with you?”

Keith cranes his head to look at Lance, eyes softly rounded. “Would you want to?”

“I mean, only if you’d want me to. If you don’t, it’s totally okay! I just--”

“Yeah, no, I--I’d want you to. It would mean a lot to me…”

Lance smiles and presses a kiss into his hair. “Okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

They fade back into a comfortable silence, something a little changed in the air, like they just got closer somehow, got stronger.

Still, it’s a little somber and Lance isn’t a big fan of that.

“So,” he says, smirking. “When do we tell the others that we’re madly in love?”

Keith scoffs. “The worst.”

“Oh, wait you already told Shiro, so that’s one person we don’t have to tell.”

“I did not tell Shiro. Shiro...found out.”

“How did he find out if you didn’t tell him?”

Keith shifts on top of him, looking embarrassed. “The day we, uh, got together, I came back here and I guess I looked...a certain way.”

“A certain way?” Lance asks, skeptical.

“Um, yeah.”

“And what way was that?”

“Nothing! I just...might have been smiling like an idiot the whole night, that’s all.”

“Awww! Babe, that’s cute!”

Keith grumbles something incoherent before Lance clearly hears, “shut up.”

“Oh, man, never,” Lance says, still affectionately playing with Keith’s hair. “Alright, so what do you think? Do we just let ‘em all know tomorrow? Or let them painfully find out one-by-one when they accidentally catch us making out somewhere.”

Keith hums. “I dunno, sneakin’ around has been kinda fun. Wouldn’t hurt to leave ‘em in the dark for a couple weeks.”

“If we make it a few days, I’ll be impressed,” Lance says, laughing.

“Hmm, yeah. Good point. Oh! You know what we should do?” Keith asks, peeking his head up to clearly look at Lance.

“Tell everyone except for Pidge and see how long it takes her to figure it out.”

Lance lets out a bark of laughter, delighted. “Oh my god, Keith. That’s almost poetic of you.”

“It’s good, right?”

“So good.”

As they quiet down again, Lance lets out a big yawn and brings a hand to cover his mouth. “Ugh, it’s gettin’ late. We should go to bed.”

“We are in bed,” Keith says, yawning too.

“Oh. You don’t mind me staying?”

“Mm, why would I mind?”

Lance’s stomach flutters again and he’s suddenly struck by how ridiculously lucky he is, how precious this moment is. He’s never felt this way before--so content, so sure, so in love.

It seems impossible that he could be this happy despite having so many worries and troubles in his everyday life and that someone wants him as much as he wants them.

So impossible, that it’s nothing short of magic Lance is where he is.  

With a sigh, Keith pushes himself off the bed, shucks off his jacket and puts it on the desk chair, then flicks off the desk lamp. While he does, Lance takes off his own jacket and throws it unceremoniously on the floor, before bringing the blanket up and over him. Keith shuffles back over to the bed in the dark and Lance opens his arms and blanket wide to greet him. Keith slides into the space made for him and fits himself perfectly against Lance.

Lance searches in the dark for Keith’s lips one last time and kisses him with a small smek, giddy that it’s something Keith is happy to do any time.

With a contented sigh, Lance lets his eyelids fall shut.

“‘Night, Keith,” Lance says, sweet and low into Keith’s ear.

“‘Night, Lance.”

And in the dark, it’s still and quiet, but warm and comforting--two words Lance now heavily associates with being in Keith’s arms.

And he knows tomorrow is going to be hard, and so will the next day, and the next--because they’re defenders of the universe and there’s no way it won’t be, but he’s okay with that.

He’s okay with that as long as he has Keith by his side.

And so far? That looks like where Keith will stay.

[tumblunni]

Ohhh fuckin geez at least let me has a pikachu

Today's update: still feeling all fucked up from Everything Happening At Once, also getting a migraine from all the stress the other day and how i basically didnt sleep for two days and then passed out today and lost the entire 24 hours. Like man i cant even say the family shit was yesterday?? It just feels that way cos i spent all of today either sleeping, crying or crying on the phone to the bank and the stupid online game store that took my money for pokemon preorder yet didnt send me the actual game. GAHHHH and ive forgotten to Eat Food for like the whole three days all this shit has been going down, aside from a handful of Starburst candy my sis gave me during our Big Awkward Moment. And the energy drink i chugged on the way there to meet her because Fuck I Need Awakeness To Comprehend This Shit. I think my stomach is exploding in on itself.

Anyway! ANYWAY!! Gahhh! Anyway!

Thank you mega fuckin big much to the friends who leant me money AGAIN, both to catch the midnight bus to meet a long lost sibling and also to fix this stupid game preorder bollocks. God what the fuck is up with my life? I feel so guilty asking for money and man you guys have leant me like 300 in the last 3 months! Fuck i hope this stupid cavalcade of finance problems stops soon and i can start paying you all back because JESUS CHRIST. I feel like my skin is melting off my bones whenever i think about how much i dont deserve such great friends! 'welp yeah theyre wonderful people, guess i lost an arm' You ever wanna cringe yourself into a little ball from embarassment? Yeah like that but so much that i disintegrate into atoms.

SO I HOPE! FOR FUCKIN GODS SAKE! That this stolen money zero game bullshit gets resolved soon. But there's no chance of it taking less than a week, so thank you SO MUCH for helping me place another preorder at a different more reliable shop! This is what i get for fuckin going bargain hunting aaa. I ordered pikachu version just in case the original order does somehow turn up, cos it was eevee version. But i got none of the preorder bonuses anymore and no pokeball controller on this. I guess maybe itll make my second playthru more fun if i can finally use the damn controller, haha! And this second copy is probably gonna arrive quite late now cos i missed the preorder window. But it should be either on saturday or monday which is way better than waiting a month or something chasing up this bullshit! And hopefully also in a week or two i will get the money back from selling alll those preowned games, and it can go towards A: GROCERIES and B: repaying bebst friends of reckless money giving. You guys are fuckin nuts, seriously!! And man god i hate that im still suffering this knock-on effect tight finances bullshit from the stupid mental hospital thing 3 months ago. I mean i failed to even last a month there and its cost me almost a thousand pounds in terms of stocking up the stuff to be able to move house temporarily, all the mobile data i had to use while being without internet while i was there, all the miscellaneous expenses along the way, and then all the bill debt and having to restock tolietries and groceries and everyries when i got back home. Sighhh! And i feel guilty that i bought a stupid warhammer starter kit around halloween and i still havent even opened it because The Guilt. Like man i should have somehow predicted there would be more money trouble and saved that money rather than make a selfish purchase. But like it was the cheapest beginners kit anyway and i even haggled a discount for getting the figures without the paint. And now im being selfish and getting this pokemon game!! Twice!! Because stupid fuckin online banking nonsense!! Godddd give me back my money so i can give it to my friendsssss

So yeah in summary Bunni Feel Bad and also Overwhelmed and also Bad. But hopefully stuff is sorted now. Gah!

Also probably will be some delay on doing a lets play of this new pokemon cos i dunno when its gonna arrive and also i feel Big Sick now and need to chug a paracetamol and eat a loaf of bread before i die. Hope i dont spend all weekend just passed out on the sofa from Too Much Braining In One Day. Srsly why did this all happen all at once...

Also i probably wont go with the idea of twin protagonists headcanon for this LP, cos the whole Untimely Lost Sibling Madness kinda made that a sore spot to think about. One good side of getting the version i didnt want is that i can pick the female protagonist if i get pikachu version, and go with the personality i was gonna use for the female sibling. Cos actually it seems that your rival dude's perosnality is kinda simular to what i was gonna do for the male sibling? Could just have that sort of relationshup as a best buddies thing. And playing as a sassy roughhousing jock girl protag is gonna be more fun than playing The Nice And Shy Dude which is basically what i always do in every game cos its just me??? Would get more fun character lets player contrast with protagonist Darcy.

Also fuck i am gonna have SO MUCH to talk about in this first episode! Watchers who dont follow me on tumblr are gonna be so confused. "Hey youtube i just got out of mental hospital and found my long lost sister who thought i was dead, anyway never mind that lets talk about pokemon! I was gonna say i dont have any baby pictures of me when the original Pokemon Yellow came out, but here's the one i found on a facebook obituary for myself yesterday..."

What the fuck is my life, seriously?

Also if my starter ends up being a male pikachu im gonna name it Chuppy after my original one in pokemon yellow. And if its a girl i'll call it Ghostwriter after my mimikyu and pretend that its a mimikyu that just has an extra high quality disguise. Seriously, picturing all of these cute antics and tiny costumes on mimikyu makes it all even sweeter to me! I love ghosties!!

LOL I JUST REALIZED MAYBE IM A GHOST TRAINER COS I WAS "DEAD" ALL THESE YEARS AND DIDNT KNOW IT

Seriously man if there are any parents out there reading this, dont fuckin lie to your 4 year old that her sibling is dead just because the dad divorced you. There are no words for how fucked up this is. Except 'oh i guess thats why my favourite digimon frontier character is duskmon'. I fuckin thought that plot was unrealistic when i first watched it! XD actually i think duskmon is straight up my favourite digimon design and the one i'd probably pick as my partner, even though i prefer Impmon's plot from the third season. I kinda wanna go make a fanmade full evolution line for Duskmon now?? Man why am i getting so wildly off topic!

I really need to eat a food and sleep a sleep

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Who’s Crushing on the New Manager? [6]

Monsta X

Lee Jooheon/Reader [F]

Words: 3.7k

Genre: Fluff

Others: Intro / Shownu / Wonho / Minhyuk / Kihyun / Hyungwon / Jooheon / IM

-------------------------------------------------

“I’m Y/N, I’ll be in your care.”

Her voice was just as soft and warm as her smile.  It didn’t take much, but those few seconds.  He already knew that that soft fluttering in his stomach was none other than a small crush, ready to blossom into so much more.

Jooheon just smiled down at you, his dimples deep and clear as day as he watched you exchange a few words with the official next to you. You spoke a moment longer before the man left you in Jooheon’s care and you turned to face him.  A smile spreading on your face when you saw his own.

“Hello.”  You greeted him.

“Hello, back.”  You rolled your eyes playfully as you introduced yourself once again, along with Jooheon introducing himself, even if he didn’t have to.  “So, wanna head back to the guys?” He lightly gestured over his shoulder, turning just slightly as he motioned back to the studio with his body.  You pretended to look up at the ceiling and think on if you wanted to go or not, something Jooheon found appealing.

“Hmm, do I wanna go back to the boys I’m in charge of?  Mm, not sure.”  He rolled his eyes at you this time.

“Ah, so she’s got humor.” You looked at him, slightly crossing your arms.

“She does.”  You two stood in a fit of small giggles for a moment before he turned fully and gestured you to follow him.  You trailed after him, just a slight step behind him as he lead the way.  There was little conversation, just small chit-chat here and there.  When he approached the room, he stopped you for a moment, gently grabbing your arm and pulling you back.  

“Now, uh, things might be strange in there.”  You tilted your head a bit, not getting what he was saying.  “I mean, they might be doing normal things, but chance is, I highly doubt they’re acting like humans in there.”  

“So, what would they be acting like?” He scratched at his cheek before sighing and grabbing the door knob.

“Well,” he twisted it and opened the door, revealing the inside circus, “I think the term I would use is ‘aliens’.” Alien was right, was all you though as you looking inside the room with the 6 other men, or rather children.

Chankyun was in a corner, just screaming?  For no reason? Hyungwon was sitting on the couch, seemingly normal, until you notice the lump that is under his rear was most definitely not the couch, but Wonho’s back.  The younger boy pushing the older into the cushions. Minhyuk perched himself on Shownu’s lap, talking much louder than necessary into the oldest’s ear about something completely random.  Shownu himself looked glum as he just blanked out Minhyuk’s loud words; seemingly done with his team of children he had no control over at the moment.  And Kihyun had emerged dramatically with his iPad in his hand, belting a note that was stable, but, coming from him, was rusty in sound.

Jooheon just sighed as he looked at you, staring in awe, but not in a really good way, at the boys.  Yup, this was his team, and they were suppose to be his role models. The only acceptance was Changkyun, since he was younger than Jooheon.  

“See, what’d I tell yah?”  You cleared your throat as you looked up to him.  

“Well, at least you were truthful.  Now, how to get there attention.”  You scanned the room and wracked your brain to think of a way, anyway, to gain the attention of the boisterous room. None of the boys had really noticed you, not even Shownu who was too busy trying to save his hearing.  You pulled your phone from your pocket and opened an app, Jooheon peeking over your shoulder.

“What’s that?  An app?”  You moved to the side of the doorway, having your hand hover over the light-switch. You silently nodded to him as you quickly slid your hand down the switches and all the lights in the room effectively shut off.  The boys, who were now startled, started to silently panic, but their panic grew as they started hearing the sound of an alarm.

The alarm mimicked one of a fire alarm.  Loud, repetitive and high-pitched.  Jooheon was even frightened for a moment, before you lightly grasped his hand to calm him down.  You looked at him, the dim light from your phone showing a reassuring smile.  You then showed him your phone screen.  

It was an alarm imitation app.  The alarm wasn’t real.  He took a breath of relief as he unconsciously held your hand back, his previous fear now gone.  After the sounds of scurrying feet began and small yells you heard someone knock into the table followed by a silence.  That’s when you decided to then flip the lights back on again. The new sight before you made you chuckle.

Minhyuk was on the ground now, instead of Shownu’s lap, cradling his foot.  You had assumed that thud of someone hitting the table of his toe hitting the leg of it.  Shownu had just risen from his chair, not getting very far.  Hyungwon was now on the ground, more than likely the result of him being thrown off a panicked Wonho’s back as he pushed off of the couch to run to safety.  Changkyun just stood in his corner as before, silent now, and a confused look on his face.  And Kihyun had instinctively moved towards his leader in hopes of protection from any threat.

All in all, it was a sight to be seen.

Jooheon watched his team of panicked men, then looked at you as you pocketed your phone and cleared your throat, earning the attention of all finally.  

“No need to panic, there’s not actually a fire.  I was just getting you attention.”  You smile was innocent, almost too innocent.  As if you didn’t send them into a frenzy, thinking they were about to be roasted into the next century.  The sigh of relief from all of them was another thing you found to chuckle at.  They really were terrified.

You stepped forwards, to check on Minhyuk who was still laying on the ground, but stopped when you felt Jooheon still holding your hand.  You turned to look at him and smiled a bit, gesturing to your hands with your eyes.  He quickly let you go as he pulled his hand away.

“Sorry!”  You shook your head at him with a smile as you knelt down to Minhyuk, poking at his shoulder as he lay on his side.  

“You can get up now.  I don’t think your toe suffered any permanent damage and I’m also sure that the pain is already gone.  You’re just being dramatic.”  He sprung off the floor to sit up and pout at you.

“I’m being dramatic?  You just set up a fire alarm prank towards us!”  You nodded.

“I did.  But, I only did it because you all were so noisy and I couldn’t get your attention otherwise.  You all should really learn to listen when your manager wants to talk to you.”  There was another silence.

“M-manager?” You nodded happily at Minhyuk’s shaken voice.

“Yes, hi, hello, that’d be me.  I’m your new manager.  My name is Y/N.  Now how you about you get up,” you looked up at the other members, “and everyone come over here to introduce themselves without shouting.  Okay?”

You lifted yourself up, Minhyuk following you as everyone peeled themselves from their previous spots, couches, floors and walls alike, to walk over to you.  Jooheon slid over with the others too, shooting them all an amused look, which was met back with glares. The introductions went though, without much of an issue and from there, you steadily learned what to do at what time and why.

Now, it has been nearly a year since you had started working with the boys.  It was like a big family, a family you couldn’t even imagine life without now.  They brought so much into your life, whether it be their contrasting personalities, their ticks and pet peeves, quirks, energy and wit, it all left an imprint impossible to get rid of.

For the moment, the boys were on a small break before promotions are to begin. You sat at your apartment, typing away on your computer as you sat at your desk, papers and notebook at your side.  You were looking over the schedules and emailing event managers for confirmations as well as answering questions with your own boss and making sure everything was smooth for the boys.  

Admittingly, you hadn’t been feeling 100% up to speed, but the sooner you finish the work, the sooner you can burrow into your blankets and sleep your stress away, or at least you hoped so.

You were nearly dozing at your desk when you were jolted awake by the sudden noise of a phone call.  You groaned as you cleared your throat and answered it, not bothering to check the ID.

“Yes?”

“Woah, your voice sounds rough.  You getting sick or something?”  You leaned your forehead in your palm as you put your elbow on the desktop.  

“I’m not sick Hyunwoo, I’m just tired.”  He heard you clear your throat before he pulled away from the phone and shouted out to someone about something before talking to you once again.

“You don’t sound very convincing.”

“Why did you call?” Trying to get out of the topic of your health, you shifted the conversation as to why this particular phone call was happening.  

“Oh, the boys wanted to invite you over for a movie, but I don’t think that’d be the smartest right now.”  You rolled your eyes.  

“I’m not sick.  If they really want me to come over, I will.”

“No no, just- ah, hey!”  The phone was pulled from Shownu’s hands as another new voice spoke into the phone.

“Just stay home Noona!”  Was all you heard from Changkyun, as he shouted into the line before directly cutting the call.  You pulled the phone from your ear, watching the dial pad disappear and your home screen replace it.  

“Well fine, not like I wanted to talk anyways.”  You tossed your phone back on your desk as you leaned back in your chair with a huff.  Your throat hurt, and your glass was nearly empty, but you didn’t want to take the effort to go and fill it back up.  You huffed as you just decided to work more, that is until you fell asleep.  

You groaned as you kept feeling weight being put on your forehead.  You turned your head, to try and make the feeling go away, but you felt your head being turned back to the way it was before.  You tried swatting at the air, as if you would actually hit something.  You didn’t expect to, but when your hand came into contact with someone that was definitely touching you, your eyes flew open and you nearly jumped out of your chair.  

“AiSH!” As you stood up in such a hurry, your wooden desk chair toppled backwards as Jooheon jumped away from you, hands up to his chest as his mouth hung open in fright from your sudden movement.  You’re widened eyes relaxed as you let out a huff, now knowing it wasn’t some criminal.  

“Lee Jooheon!  What are you doing in my apartment?!”

“That’s no way to treat a guest.”

“How did you get in here?”

“You told you the passcode to unlock your door?  Duh?” You sighed as you ran your hand over your face.  You did recall that now.  One day you were so busy with work that you didn’t have time to go to the dorm, so the boys came to you.  You had texted Jooheon your passcode so he can get in and you wouldn’t have to answer the door. He must have remembered it.  

“Just.. why are you here Jooheon?”

“Shownu told us you were sick.  I came to check on you.”  You moved your hand from your face and looked at him.  He looked like he was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for the night.  Hair a mess, sweats, a loose u-neck t-shirt, and no makeup on.  He didn’t even have a cap or mask on, let alone socks.

“What, did you just run out of the house?”  

“Yup.”  You nearly fell at his blunt, rapid response.  

“Did you really?” He nodded.

“I really did.  I was worried about you.  This is suppose to be a break, and your here working yourself sick.”  You shook your head, denying his accusation.

“I’m not sick.”

“You have a fever.”  You glared at him.  It must’ve been him touching your forehead.  He was checking your temperature.

“It’ll go away.  It’s just a cold, and I can just sweat it off.”  He shook his head, taking a step closer to you.  He was just an arms length away now, not far but not too close either.  

“That’s not how you treat sickness Y/N!  You need proper rest and medicine.” You just shook your head with a frustrated sigh, and moved to go around him, but your foot caught on the carpet and you felt yourself nearly tumble down.  Your scrambled head already made you feel like you were unstable, but falling felt like an LSD trip.  

Not knowing when you’d hit the ground, not knowing how you feel or what it felt like to stand without swaying.  You didn’t even comprehend the fact that Jooheon had caught you and was now sitting on the ground, you leaning on his chest as he looked worriedly at the back of your head.  

Your head rested on his shoulder, face away from him, one arm slung around his shoulder lazily and the other hung at your side.  Your legs were buckled and bent beneath you as Jooheon’s legs were on either side of you.  

He could feel the heat radiating off your body from your fever.  He was always worried about your health, just as you worried about the teams health.  If anyone of them had a cold, or were to go to the hospital for a check up because they were sick, you’d be with them the entire time.  Working and making sure everything was okay and they weren’t alone.  It wasn’t fair that you were trying to deny his help when you’re the one who’s sick now.

“You see, you can’t just sweat this one out.”  He put his hand on the back of your neck, wincing at your high fever. “You need rest, and you’re going to rest, like it or not.”  He moved to sling your other arm over his other shoulder as he locked his fingers together under your rear to lift you off the ground, supporting you on his chest as he walked you to your room.  

He lay you on your bed, and sighed a small breath of relief, seeing you already in a pair of comfortable shorts and a t-shirt, so he wouldn’t have to fight with you to change clothes. While you were still in your daze, he ran and grabbed a glass of water for you, along with medicine that he somehow convinced you to take.  

He went back through the apartment, locking the door with the barlock, shutting everything off, turning off the lights and even grabbing your phone to bring back into the room and plug in so it would be charged in the morning. Jooheon tucked you underneath your blankets as he tied your hair up, knowing it would be warm to you as you slept.  He sat on the edge of the bed, brushing his fingers through your bangs, clearly worried.

He didn’t want to leave, for a couple reasons.  One being he really didn’t want to leave you when you were sick. You could very well wake up and go straight back to work, which would accomplish nothing, but further illness.  Another being he always found it hard to leave you, whether it be for work, or for non-work related scenarios.  He just wanted to be around you all the time.

I mean, that’s normal for someone to feel when they like someone, right? He sighed as he took his own phone and stepped out of the bedroom, just outside the door and dialed Shownu.

“Jooheon?  How is she?”

“She’s got a pretty high fever, and she’s really dizzy.  I got her to take medicine and she’s in bed now, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving her like this.”  

“Knowing her, she’d just go back to work if she was on her own.”  

“That’s what I was thinking!”

“Jooheon, just stay there with her tonight.”

“Wha-really?  Are you sure?”

“I don’t see why not.  It’s not like she can be on her own, and I know you won’t pull anything indecent on her.  Crush or no crush.”  Jooheon felt his face burn.  “You’re better than that.  You’ll take care of her.”  Shownu trusted Jooheon, just like he trusted all his teammates.  

“I.. alright.  I’ll stay here then.”

“Good.  Keep an eye on her.  The boys and I will stop by tomorrow to come and check up on you two.”  Jooheon nodded.

“Alright.”  There was little conversation left to be had before the call ended and Jooheon slipped back into the room.  When he entered, he noticed you sitting up in bed, hand on your head as you seemed to wince.

He watched your sling your legs over the beds edge, like you didn’t know he was in the room with you.  He rushed towards you, putting your legs back on the mattress and covered them, tucking you to seemingly trap you under the covers.  You whined as you tried to fight back to get out.  

“Jooheonn!”

“No!  You need to stay in bed!”  You kicked under the blankets as you gave up after Jooheon basically laid his body over yours, his body pushing you down into the mattress.  You huffed at him as he looked down at you.

“You’re a bully,” you huffed at him, as he just smiled back at you.  He nuzzled your nose against his as you sighed.  He rolled off you, onto the empty space next to you and kept one of his arms around your waist, the other folded under his head as he looked at the side of your head as you lay on your back.  

The two of you lay in silence for quite some time, to the point Jooheon felt himself grow tired, ready to sleep himself.  He felt you turn as you moved the blankets, and he soon felt them over himself, as opposed to how they were previously under him.  He cracked his eyes open to look at you, your eyes closed, but you scooted closer to him.  

“Cover up… you’ll catch a cold.”  He rolled his eyes at the irony and was touched that even while sick and half asleep, you were still caring for him.  He hesitantly began running his hands through your tied up hair that was trailing behind you before rubbing comforting circles on your shoulder.  

Maybe it was because you weren’t in your right mind, or maybe it was just because it seemed right, but Jooheon stiffened as you pushed your head to rest under his chin, grabbing the side of his shirt and resting against him.

“Uh-um, Y/N?”  His small voice whispered into your ear as you hummed back.  “What are you doing?”

“I know I’m sick, but you’re warm and soft and you smell really nice.”  He felt his own face grow hotter by the second as you moved closer still.  “I really like you, and I’m happy you’re with me. Sorry I’m so stubborn.”  He nearly choked.  

“Wait- what?  You.. you like me?” You nodded against his neck.  “You still have a fever, you might be delirious.”  He was talking more to himself than to you, but you shook your head.  

“No.  I’ve always liked you, ever since you held my hand.”  He remembered a year ago, on the first day you two met, and how when the light shut off and you turned on the mimic siren, he clung to your hand for safety.  Were you serious?  

“Y/N?”

“I promise.”  Jooheon wanted to believe you, thinking that your sickened state is the most honest state you could possibly be in, if not drunk.  If you really didn’t want him here, you’d make him leave, but you didn’t.  He decided that he’d throw all rational thoughts aside and take the chance he may or may not have again and hold you.  

He moved his hand to loop around you and rub your sore back as you fell asleep and he soon followed.  The two of you felt soundly all night, even through the majority of the next morning.  Jooheon didn’t wake up until he heard the sound of whispering and held back snickers as he cracked open his eyes to see the room bright with sunlight through the window and the remaining 6 members in the room. 

He noticed you still clinging to him, and how some, if not all, of the member had their phones out.  Most definitely taking pictures of the two of you all cuddled up in bed.  But, Jooheon wasn’t embarrassed, nor was he mad.  Instead, as he held you, careful to not wake you up, he just smiled and asked all the members with pictures to send them to his phone later.  

When you did wake up eventually, Jooheon explained that you fell asleep with a fever, that is still there, and that the boys were here to take care of you today.  He also mentioned how cute you were when you were clingy and told him you liked him, in which you turned into an embarrassed, even more flushed mess as you tried to explain yourself.  

Jooheon just gushed at how cute you could be as he attacked you with hugs and of course his high pitched voice to make you feel better, all before he told you he liked to you too.  It was the one and only time you decided that maybe getting sick wasn’t all that bad thing, with an outcome like this one.  

[whatifexo]

Goodbye - Scenario Dump

Hello, everyone~ This is quite possibly the last thing I’m going to post on this blog. It’s a dump of three unfinished scenarios I wasn’t able to finish in the past 2 years. As you all probably saw coming, I can no longer find the motivation to continue updating this blog and writing on a daily basis. I could write a whole novel on why I’ve decided to leave, but I’ll keep it short: Life changes and so do we. These last 3-4 years with you all have been almost surreal. From your kind messages to our crazy drabble games, I really felt welcomed as a writer and contributor to the fandom. Thank you so much for sharing this creative space with me. I will miss you all dearly. For those who are willing to stick around with me a little longer, I’m actually way more active on this blog! I’m also working on writing a little fic there, and after it’s posted, we’ll see if I do more. But for now, that’s where you can find me.

And now, for the word vomit you’ve all been waiting for under the cut. These are unedited and unfinished so pls forgive me if you find errors, lol. Thank you, everyone! See you on the flip!

Red Carpet - Jaebum

New Year ’s Eve.

You’ve grown used to spending it with the familiar waft of cookies and hot chocolate, the crinkle of wrapping paper, and carols softly playing on the radio. This year, you spend the last night of the year alone, ironically so amidst the energetic chaos flying about backstage. At some point, you’d escaped the insistent hands of your stylists and bowed past several of your seniors, never lifting your head to make eye contact. Utmost respect meant quick greetings. No questions asked. No suspicions. No one took notice when you slipped out the back exit and ascended up the flight of stairs leading into the rooftop.

Nausea hits you as soon as you peer over the edge and spot the red carpet below, still bustling with activity. The flashes from the paparazzi are blinding even from far away. Around them, fans crowd behind the barricades, holding up signs and gifts. A wall of security stands guard at the sidelines. Sleek, black vans with tinted windows roll slowly down the street, dropping off the stars of the night. Just hours ago, you were one of the many idols who walked down that glamorous path.

Your stomach flips at the memory of the event.

There was an overwhelming response to your arrival, even more so when your name made headlines after your iconic debut stage.

______,The Rising Star. Korea’s Next BoA. The Nation’s Pride.

Crippling pressure weighed on you as soon as you first touched limelight. Your fans rapidly accumulated. Your albums sold out in mere days. You received offers for commercials and acting roles, you were invited to guest on entertainment shows. Your company’s sales soared, and in turn, they prioritized your promotions over your label mates’. After all of this, tonight, on the red carpet, they had asked you how you felt.

You now chuckle sadistically to yourself, grabbing onto the metal railing and hardly feeling the cold there.

They think you’re ecstatic. Absolutely thrilled and honored to be here amongst the leading celebrities of the country, ending the year with trophies and explosive performances. Tonight, the world expects you to live up to their expectations.

How can you possibly fulfill these demands when your stomach is in knots and your throat is chocked with anxiety?

Dropping your hands from the railing, you step back with wobbling knees. Your dress suddenly feels tight around your body, locking you in a wicked grip. The worst of your fears race through your head.

What if you don’t deserve all of this attention after all? What if you break on stage? What if your voice falters and cracks in the middle of your performance? What if your fans are disgusted by your self-composed songs?  

If they hate it…

The shock of this thought shoots through your bones like lightning, and you stumble back, your heel snagging in your long dress. You yelp in surprise as your body loses balance and falls backward, colliding with a broad and solid chest.

A pair of gentle hands catches you by the shoulders.  

“Breathe, sweetheart.”

The voice is deep and quiet. There’s familiarity in the man’s tone, as if you’d heard it before in a passing conversation. Your guard raises, and you pull away to face the stranger who you assume to be a passing senior or staff member.

“I’m sorry. I’ll head back in-“

“I don’t think taking a few breaths calls for an apology.”

Im Jaebum, leader of Got7, stares back at you inquisitively with a raised brow.

Your heart stutters in your chest. The last time you’d seen him, it had been in the dressing room hours ago, when he’d been sitting in front of the mirror having his hair styled. You were passing by in the hall and your eyes met briefly through your reflection on the glass. He looked startled, smiling politely before blushing by the tips of his ears. The staff had abruptly the door to his dressing room before you could react.

In contrast to then, the Jaebum in front of you now no longer seems so shy. Dark eyeliner accentuates his eyes, adding a heavy undertone to his gaze that warms your insides. You panic slightly under the weight of his undivided attention, eyes unnervingly focused and…concerned?

Surely, you must be wrong.

“If you’re questioning my motives, then yes, I actually did follow you up here,” Jaebum’s lips curve into a smile. Your face warms in response. “You looked sick and pale, and I know that look all too well.”

“You do?” you blurt out, eyes widening at yourself. You never do this. Never respond to your elders informally or entertain colleagues who made their advances. In revealing something more than your stage persona, you were afraid of exposing your vulnerabilities. So you became a shell. Bathed in the spotlight, but never letting anyone touch your core.

Jaebum has thrown all of your practice out the window.

“I remember when I felt that way,” Jaebum nods, as if confirming something in your eyes. He’s reading you as easily as an instruction manual, and you can’t bring yourself to look away. “I felt something like it after Jinyoung and I stopped promoting as JJ Project.”

Jaebum’s gaze softens. He slides past you to look over the railing where the activities of the red carpet event have begun to dwindle. You watch his back and taut shoulders for a moment, hesitating. He could be up to something. Leading you to let down your guard so he can tease and torture you about it later.

You’ve heard stories during your training period. How seniors sometimes pressured rookie artists, manipulating the rules of seniority in order to bully the ones on the lowest of tiers. The end goal was to drive the rookies to quit, weeding out the competition so the ones at the top may stay there. It was a sick, twisted game played by a select few, but still a possibility in this line of business.  

But to be played by Im Jaebum?

You shake your head.

He’s better than this. You know it with certainty. Those eyes that met with yours in the mirror held the truth, and somehow, you know you can trust him.

Joining him to stand by the railing, you watch Jaebum examine his hands, calloused and stretched on the back of his palms. With a start, you remember watching an interview of Got7 weeks ago while you were on standby in the waiting room. Jaebum recounted a story of his stray cats in the dorm, each who had bizarre, yet strangely endearing personalities.

You find yourself smiling before he even begins to speak.

“I think my whole world fell apart and rebuilt itself when I re-debuted with the boys.” he folds his hands, toying with his fingers in awkward movements. “I hated them for a time just because they were new and inexperienced. But God, did they grow on me fast. I wanted to show off as their senior, but who was I kidding? I was still shitting my pants before our debut stage.”

You laugh out loud at this, and Jaebum turns to you, mirth in his eyes despite his unfortunate story.

“You know why they call me out for being so hyperactive out there?” he jerks his head to the side, referring to an imaginary audience.

You shake your head, and he sighs softly.

“Because I don’t think I’ll ever forget the energy of my first stage. As in, my first genuine stage. I was happy. I didn’t care about what others might think of me in that moment or afterwards. I was out there losing myself in my craft, and that’s the only thing I hold on to when I perform. That should be your only concern tonight too.”

His eyes dart over to the red carpet briefly, and you shiver, both from the chill of the night and the implication of his words.

“How did you know?” you stare up at him, wondering. In a matter of minutes, he’d figured you out. Related with your emotions and churning thoughts. Though all he did was talk about himself, you don’t think this is really about him. Not completely. Otherwise, he would have approached this conversation with much more arrogance.

No, that’s not it.

He’s comforting you.

The realization has your pulse quickening.  

“You can say I know from experience.” Jaebum grins with a degree of shyness, as if reading into your thoughts.

You hold his gaze for a few beats. The familiar flush on his ears has returned, but his eyes are unwavering. For the first time tonight, you let out an unlabored breath. Your heart is still running a marathon, but this time, in a good way. Jaebum is still watching you as you let your eyes flutter shut.

“Thank you.”

“For what? The pleasure is mine.”

There’s mischief laced in Jaebum’s voice.

You crack an eye open.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know.” Jaebum says incredulously, lips quirking into a smile. “I’m actually one of your biggest fans.”

The world freezes for a second.

The distant camera flashes halt to a stop, the sound of screaming fans dim to an acute noise, and the cold air lifts from your skin, warming your body from inside out.  Your vision blurs from the intoxication of Jaebum’s confession. His timid smile is all you can see.

“Why me?” you ask more to yourself than to Jaebum, recalling all the times you’ve quietly watched him with awe from behind the scenes, the charismatic leader of his team. Someone as occupied and charming as he wouldn’t have time to admire a rookie idol like you.

“Why not you?” Jaebum challenges, raising a brow.

“Because…” you struggle to reason with him. You’re not up to par with him. He’s several years your senior. You have not yet shown your full potential. “…because I’m me.”

“You’re being unfair, _______.” Jaebum chuckles, though his tone is bitter. “I didn’t come up here to get rejected.”

Your eyes shoot up to his in alarm.

“I wasn’t-“

“Rejecting me? I know, it’s hard not to.”

You barely manage to keep yourself from cringing.  

Jaebum, on the other hand, completely fails to hide his horror. Even in the dark, the dim glow of the moon is enough to expose his flushed cheeks.

Vicissitude - Part 3 (Chanyeol)

“Care to tell me why you haven’t been to work for the past three days?”

Kyungsoo is scary.

He entered the kitchen twenty minutes ago without saying a word, silently tiptoeing around you and your laptop at the table to brew some coffee. You’d almost forgotten he was there until he cleared his throat, paused for a solid few seconds, then dropped the big question.

You were hoping he wouldn’t notice.

But his low profile tendencies have a reason behind it, which is being highly aware of his surroundings and noticing changes.  Which you’ve clearly made.

You’re actually doing your homework.

A lot of it.

Along with other things.

“Oh, you know,” you say over the whirring of the coffee machine. “Places to be. People to meet.”

“In the middle of nowhere.”

You never knew Kyungsoo had so much sass in him. The quiet, deadly kind of sass that catches you off guard because he’s being so painfully casual for someone who’s about to pry for information.

And his back is still turned on you.

“I still haven’t gotten my paycheck, by the way.” you’re stalling, which is painfully obvious. “I’m going on strike.”

Kyungsoo finally shows his face after pressing a button on the coffee machine, the whirring immediately subsiding after he lifts the mug from the base of the machine. He studies you quietly without an ounce of emotion on his face, and you try to mimic the same neutral expression but you know you just probably look like you’re constipated.

“Paychecks come out every two weeks. And considering that you’ve also skipped out on the past few days…..” he doesn’t finish knowing that you understand the deal here.

No work, no pay.

You sigh, acknowledging defeat and turning back to your laptop to finish up that government paper you’re only halfway finished with because you didn’t actually start writing it until three days ago. Somewhere along the line, you’ve turned writing papers into a form of distraction.

In actuality, you hate writing. But it gives you something to do and think about other than the lingering touch of Yixing’s lips and the thin layer of guilt there that you’re still trying to figure out.

As usual, forgetting things isn’t as easy as it seems.

“Please tell me you’re going to go away soon.” you say without looking up from your laptop, because you know very well that Kyungsoo is still standing there with his coffee and he hasn’t shown any sign of movement.

He’s also making you think of things again which is bad. Very bad.

“I’m waiting.”

He wants answers.

He’s been hanging out with Baekhyun too much. He’s slowly getting just as annoying. And by annoying you mean being able to read right through you even with the façade you’re showing.

Are you really that readable?

“Then keep waiting.” you pull down your laptop screen and grab for your coat behind your chair, and only now does Kyungsoo set down his coffee in mild surprise.

“Where are you going?”

He sounds like your mom whenever you ask her if you can hang with some friends she doesn’t recognize the names of at any time past nine in the evening.  

Mind you, it’s only three in the afternoon right now. Therefore, Kyungsoo can’t call you out on this.

“On a walk.” you offer him a salute, which he doesn’t take very well as he scrunches his brows in thought back at you.

Amazing how much character development he can show within only a week or so after meeting him for the first time. There’s also the fact that you’ve somewhat taken a liking to him during your time at the lounge whenever you’d exchange random pleasantries in between working breaks.

Or how he randomly takes care of the people around him without much thought through simple things. Such as waking Baekhyun up every morning without yelling at him about his alarm that wakes just about everyone in the cabin except for him. And how he’ll diligently listen to Chanyeol’s guitar playing and actually give feedback unlike Jongin who merely offers a nod of approval whenever Chanyeol asks for his opinion.

The way he’d wash Yixing’s favorite purple hoodie every night and run it through the dryer because that’s how often that boy wears it.

Now he’s trying to ease off some of the burden from you too.

Except this isn’t his fight.

And he must realize it too with the way he’s fallen silent again.

That is, until you reach the front door and he calls out for you right before you slip outside into the freezing temperatures. You can’t help but stop and wait for his word of advice.

“If you can’t tell me, tell someone who deserves to hear it.”

~~~

Your little ‘walk’ lasts about ten minutes tops until you decide to turn right around and come back to the comfort of the fireplace indoors. It must be below zero degrees today, with the fog making it nearly impossible to spot anything more than a foot away from you.

You’d only gone out about half a mile or so, but twenty minutes later you’re still walking and slowly beginning to panic as time continues to stretch and you fail to spot the cabin or the others that should be nearby.

Your vicinity isn’t exactly at its best given the circumstances.

To add on to the already dangerous situation, you hadn’t brought your cell phone with you either.

Brilliant, _________, just brilliant.

You wanted to drift far away from your problems but you didn’t actually want to be this far away.

Not even a sign of civilization.    

You’ve never hated yourself more than you do now.

Another set of time passes, you have no idea how much, but by then your nose is frozen and you’re certain you’re only minutes away from getting frostbite on your toes. Along with that, you’re also left with some thinking time, and said thinking time encompasses just about everything odd and dramatic that has occurred throughout the course of this trip and what exactly you need to do to survive this and finally untangle the tangled affairs of your heart.

And just when you think you might die without clearing up your ongoing issues, salvation comes.

There’s a guy wearing a bright orange jacket walking in the opposite direction as you, and at first you think it’s Taemin because you’re very familiar with that jacket.

Though when you yell out and frantically flail your hands to catch his attention, you realize two things.

One, the guy is certainly not Taemin. His shoulders are too broad to be Taemin and he’s also a few inches taller than Taemin.

Two, Kyungsoo’s words of wisdom just slapped you in the face.

“_______? Are you okay? What are you doing out here? God, you’re freezing.”

There are hands on your cheeks. Warm ones. Warm hands in the middle of Arctic weather. And if you close your eyes long enough, you can almost picture home.

“Chanyeol, I’m cold.”

His hands slip from your cheeks and you hear the unzipping of his jacket, crunching of the snow, and then there’s fabric being wrapped around your neck.

You open your eyes, instantly regretting it after finding Chanyeol standing closer than before. While he’s focused on burrowing you underneath his scarf, you take in the bits of snow nestled in his bright hair and the urgency in his movements.

The deep line of worry across his forehead.

You don’t know what to make of this. You don’t know what to make of anything.

All you know is that you have to tell him something.

Anything.

“Let’s get you back inside.”

He’s tugging at your arm, and when you don’t respond, his hold slips to your wrist and he forces you to stumble after him.

He’s not asking any questions.

Which worries you more than the cold piercing into your skin.

“Chanyeol.”

“We’ve got about fifteen minutes before you start developing frost bite, but I don’t think we’re too far from the cabin. We’ll make it.”

That all sounds great and relieving but it’s not exactly why you called him in the first place.

“Chanyeol.”

“We should really pick up the pace, though. Just in case I’m wrong about where we are and we both end up-“

“Yeol.”

That seems to quiet him.

He slows his pace but doesn’t stop. You still consider it a small victory as his ears flare a hint of pink at his newly birthed nickname, and you feel yourself flush too. You aren’t concerned with that because your whole face is too frozen to show a hint of color anymore.

It’s just the embarrassed feeling that lingers.

That’s not stopping you.

You need to say this before you get back to the cabin and the magic of being alone and somewhat courageous out here begins to wear off.

“In sophomore year, my favorite instrument was the guitar.” you feel his grip on your wrist loosen which means he’s finally listening. You sniff and breathe out, watching your breathe puff out in a white cloud before disappearing into the fog surrounding the two of you like a heavy cloak. “And then I went out with Yixing.”

Chanyeol stops so suddenly you nearly walk straight into him.

He turns to face you, and as soon as he does you launch into an unpracticed narration of a story you haven’t told in a while and count down the minutes you have left before you really need to book it back indoors and possibly hide forever.

“I was ignorant to music until I heard him one day in the practice room, strumming some random song I wasn’t familiar with, and I don’t know why I stayed but I did until the very end of my lunch period and he looked up past the glass on the door straight into my eyes after the song ended. I knew I loved him the moment he sang to me that same song in front of the whole student council.”

Chanyeol’s eyes have gotten so wide his whole pupils are showing.

“People said things, of course. We broke the sacrilegious rule of seniors exclusively dating seniors. But that didn’t matter. I didn’t care as long as we were together. What really mattered was that he scored a scholarship in Europe and he was bound to leave the day after his graduation.”

You’ve started shaking and it isn’t from the cold.

Chanyeol reaches out towards your shivering fingers, hesitates, then stuffs his awkward hands in his pockets as a final resolution, and you mirror his position as you bite back tears.

“He gave me a note through his music player. Some sort of voice note on why he didn’t want to leave. But you see, I knew he had to. I wasn’t worth a promising future music career. There was so much waiting for him over there, but with me, he’d forever be stuck over here. I wanted to be selfish and that thought scared me.”

You’re almost done here. It’s obvious the ending sounds near and Chanyeol knows it too. He’s looking at you as if the world is falling. You’re glad the crisp, cruel air dries your eyes and snatches any chances of tears trickling down.  

“The last thing I heard from him was that he loved me. And the last thing I told him was goodbye.”

There’s a hole in this story.

Not a fairytale ending or a solution, but an important puzzle piece that you’ve missed. One that’s been there all along, hidden, unknown until you heard the gentle strings of the guitar again two years later.

And that single piece throws you off kilter. Rearranging everything else in a whole different picture.

What terrifies you the most is that it’s standing right in front of you.

“Was it, though?” Chanyeol’s voice has gone quiet in a way that you recognize because that’s what people sound like when they’re shattered. “Was it really a goodbye?”

Yixing and Chanyeol are friends.  

You weren’t aware of this and from the looks of it, neither was he, which means that Yixing has kept more secrets than you realize and maybe Chanyeol knows more than what you give him credit for.

You want to call it unfair that one day, you’re still stuck trying to get over the image of your first love and then in the next, he’s tugging at your heart again but it’s refusing to follow. Not anymore. There’s a new reason behind the pounding in your chest and you hadn’t expected to identify its source in the middle of nowhere.

Where it’s just you and the boy who’s asking if you’re willing to give the past a second chance.

“I don’t know.”

Chanyeol nods in slow motion, like he’s confirmed something scientifically. His feet are heavy when he turns, his boots driving deep into the snow, and you want to follow him and ask why he’s trying to solve a mystery that you feel is only a misunderstanding.

That would’ve been easier to do if you hadn’t seen him bite his lower lip before shutting you out.

He’s not the only one who’s made a breakthrough.

It doesn’t hit you suddenly, but it settles in as slowly as Chanyeol is trudging away. The image of Yixing trapping you that day against the shelves flashes through your memory, and you faintly remember closing your eyes, feeling tender lips that are certainly not Yixing’s.

You know how his mouth fits against yours already. You’ve always known.

The moment you closed your eyes and imagined someone else was a different story. Nowadays, you wish you never have to close them because there’s only one thing that enters your mind and it has nothing to do with Yixing.

Instead, it has everything to do with his friend, and what it would be like to melt against him.

Today - Jaebum

September 22, 2017

Contrary to what they say in trashy teen magazines, first love doesn’t always begin with a heart fluttering, innocent and graceful encounter. You feel obligated to correct that misleading piece of information. You almost mark it out with your pen, correcting the writer’s mistake, but then you remember that you’re not supposed to be the critic here.

You’re supposed to be searching for inspiration. Finding a subject for your next article. You’ve sat in this God-knows-where cafe for an hour, pouring over a pile of publications, desperate to find something. Blindly reaching for an unborn idea.

“Your stories have become bland.” Mark, your editor and usually kind companion, had delivered an uppercut punch before he even finished reading your last feature article. His blatant criticism shocked you. Not once has he ever complained about your writing. It quickly became a quest to please him again.

“This writing no longer sounds like you. Are you even enjoying this anymore?”

It’s not that you’ve lost interest. It’s just that sometimes, you find yourself holding back.  

“Write me something compelling and don’t even think of that promotion until you win me over.”

You didn’t think he was cruel enough to hang the managing editor title over your head. Additionally, he had struck a chord by sneaking in several romance pieces in your resources pile.

You get the hint.

In fairness, there used to be a time when you would eagerly compose romantic writings and hold on to love stories as if they were your own. Your former self embraced romance and took any risk that came your way. That was before he taught you to think twice. He taught you the reality to false beliefs. He taught you everything you know today.

These days, you’ve learned to choose your battles. Today, you find yourself surrendering to the nearly forgotten memories. As you read further down the advice column on first loves, clearly written by a young and inexperienced writer, you’re brought back to the first time you ever gave your heart away.

The very first meeting. When it was nowhere near how the fairytales described it, or how you imagined the love of your life would come to you.  

Because the weather is fair, because Mark is telling you to, because you don’t have much choice, you allow yourself to remember.

Just one last time.

~~~

September 21, 2013

The crash happens while you’re attempting to merge lanes.

You swear you made sure to look, not once but thrice, gauging the blurred lights on your side mirror and passing in front of the car that had seemed far away enough. You could say it was because of the rain. You could say that the pressure overcame you, that you were racing against the passing time that refused to wait for you.

A minute ago, you’d been accelerating without fear of the wet roads, pleading that you make it in time for your first internship. A minute later, you’re hearing the screech of metal and your body is being jolted forward. You don’t realize your car has lost control until you feel the wheels under you skidding sideways to a stop, just missing the guard rail, your life quite literally flashing before your eyes in an instant.

You find your hands shaking when you glance up at yourself through the crooked rearview mirror.

Except for your flushed cheeks, there are no signs of injury. No blood. All limbs intact.

The storm of honking behind you brings you back to your senses.  

“Are you fucking crazy?”

The driver of the other car is knocking on your window.

Drenched in rain, he has his phone pressed against his ear, probably calling for the police. Instead of worry, anger lines his face like the crack of thunderbolt.

His rude shouting somehow dissolves your fear and aggravates you, while a part of you admits that you’re mostly at fault. But your swelled up pride wins out over admitting your faults. The idea of losing even such a trivial and obvious battle as this one is utterly humiliating and embarrassing for you.

Especially since you just made a rookie mistake by trying to rush to work.

At least you’re willing to admit that you’re about to do something incredibly stupid.

Instead of rolling down the window and apologizing profusely or trading insurance information like what you’re generally supposed to do after a crash, you unbuckle your seatbelt and step out into the rain.  

The guy is in mid sentence on his phone--something about giving directions and reporting a crash caused by ‘a dumb bitch’--when you slam your door closed and look up at him with blazing eyes.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that the idea of courtesy died with the beginning of your very existence.” you shout over the roar of the storm, the cars whizzing by, and the driver’s angry conversation over the line.

He stops yelling into his phone for a moment, jaw dropping open at your brazenness. You can see that he’s pissed, absolutely insulted, and you can already tell what kind of response he has in store for you.

“What did you just say to me?”

He steps forward with a threatening glare, puncturing your personal bubble until your back hits the side of your car. From up close, you can tell that he’s young, maybe around the same age as you. The sharp angles on his face create an illusion of older age. You know better than to be fooled, because a proper adult wouldn’t choose to wear ripped jeans on a rainy day or drive at sixty miles in a forty zone. A proper adult wouldn’t stand in the rain long enough just to fight a reckless girl and get their clothes soaked.

You’re aware of all this, yet you’re still fanning the flames.

“It’s shitty enough that I’m late for my internship. But to get hit by a self absorbed asshole? I must’ve murdered a whole town in my past life.”

“Are you kidding?” the guy scoffs, pounding his hand against your car. “I think you’re forgetting who fucking swerved into my lane without even thinking about it!”

“If you care to know, I checked three full times and saw a clear road!”

“Well damn then, let me call an eye doctor for your blind ass while I’m at it!”

“My ‘blind ass’ happened to keep your speeding ass in check!”

“Fuck me, you’re one to talk!”

“I may have lost a very important job opportunity because of you!”

“And because of you, my boss is going to slit my throat once he finds out that I wrecked his company’s car!”

You’re close to throwing fists by the time the police and ambulance arrive. You only break apart when an officer threatens to arrest the both of you if you don’t stop disturbing the peace. This makes no sense to you as the thunderous sky and building traffic are nowhere close to peaceful, but you step back and allow yourself to get examined by the paramedics.

On the other hand, the driver that had hit you is preoccupied with inspecting his car, running his fingers over the dent on his hood somberly as if he’d just lost a precious member of his family. Obviously, he has more concern for his vehicle than an actual person.

“Insolent prick.” you mutter under your breath when he later joins you in the back of the towing truck.

“I heard that.” he hisses back, the driver next to you shifting uncomfortably at your exchange of hostilities.

It takes hours to settle your dispute and walk away as calmly as you can with your car totaled and many dollars to spend. You contact the internship (Mark)

You hadn’t even bothered to learn his name.