#i can do it i can.. i know i can i've been through worse

[hkthatgffan]

Kiki-Kit Situation Update

Bit of an update to this post from the other week.

Details are all in that post but as a refresher, Kiki-Kit, one of the Gravity Falls fandom's better known/longtime artists, had been taking commissions from multiple people and despite everyone paying her in full, she had yet to fulfill their comms with some waiting up to 5 years with no update. And what made it especially troubling was that she had not communicated with anyone and even blocked one person who had tried to talk about it.

I also had gotten a commission from her in February and have been waiting on it since without her responding at all to me after saying my payment went through. Well, since then we have at least one little update about this...

@foxieskullz tweeted that she has since gotten a refund from Kiki-Kit. She also sent me proof of the refund and Kiki saying she'd pay her back.

This is of course great as Foxie had been of course, waiting since 2019 for her comm that Kiki had practically ghosted her over. It is like she said, disappointing it had to end up happening this way but at least now she has gotten her money back and hopefully in some way, through word finally spreading about all this, able to put it behind and move on from this mess, albeit with perceptions of Kiki greatly changed for the worse.

Of course, this does not mean everything is all good. Kiki has not yet gotten back to me or anyone else about our commissions. I've not heard a single thing publicly or privately from Kiki about this. Neither has anyone else I mentioned in the original post and of course, people like Jolliejackdaw, who Kiki blocked, are still waiting for a response...

Not only that, but the original post I made also has led to more people coming out and mentioning their own situations with Kiki and her not fulfilling their commissions.

So, while it is good to see Kiki-Kit actually working to respond to and refund someone, it's still just the tip of the iceberg. There are many, MANY more people who are waiting for an update.

And like I said in the original post, this isn't a hit job on an artist because she's not finished a commission. This is about lack of communication or transparency from her about why she has not responded to our messages and won't listen when we've had enough and just want a refund. Kiki-Kit could have easily handled this all privately by just being better at communicating with her clients. We're all understanding and patient and would more than have been okay with waiting however long for our comms if she had let us know that properly beforehand (and yes, she did that in June but also said she'd have comms finished soon and didn't deliver then either and also never followed up with an update or even responded to anyone who DM'd her including me). Even a simple, hello would have been okay instead of all this ghosting.

I do hope she does right these wrongs. I honestly do not believe Kiki is a bad person or trying to scam people. It would be truly vile and heartbreaking if that really was the case. But you can't say she hasn't left that perception of herself on so many of us, myself included. I do believe she can still resolve all of this if she just communicates better. Make a post saying you're gonna give people who commissioned you a chance to message you (and you actually responding to them this time) and let you know if they wanna continue with it or get a refund and then commit to either giving those people a refund or fulfilling what you were paid for!

I wanna thank also everyone who shared and spread the word on the original post. Even on my end, making a post like that was difficult to do to say the least. Calling out people, especially someone as major and long time in the fandom who I respected like Kiki is not something I wanna do, ever wanted to or thought I would do. But hearing all the stories from so many people who like me, have been waiting for an update from her and haven't gotten any, really made me realize enough was enough and someone had to make this issue known to a greater set of eyes. I don't like using my platform for stuff like this but this was something that had reached a point where it was no longer showing results through the proper channels of communication Kiki had set up. If you're not gonna respond to DM's, emails and tweets from people who have paid you and you have yet to fulfill their work or even give them an update when they want you to and given you ample time to do so, then you leave us with no choice other than to go this way.

I hope you do see this, @kiki-kit. Please get in touch with us who you have taken on a commission from and please just talk to us. Please give us a chance to either get a refund or give us a solid timeline on when our commissions will be done. No one will hate you if you need to take time to finish it. But just please, stop ghosting us and actually reply to your customers when they email or DM you for an update or at most, give a reason why it may take longer. That's all.

Sincerely again,

Every person who has paid you for a commission and still has yet to hear back from you and every Gravity Falls fan who your work inspired and hopes that you make things right

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

Celebrations and Confessions

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIRIUS BLACK

Remus has been looking forward to Sirius' eighteenth since the marauders first started planning for it. Seventh year has made the war feel all too real, and having a day to celebrate someone who means so much to him, to all of them, is more than welcome.

It's the biggest celebration the marauders have ever thrown. Sirius is practically worshipped all day, and the amount of decorations and alcohol the other marauders have shoved under their beds for the evening is obscene.

The party is absolutely magnificent. Remus mostly stays on the sidelines. Watching Sirius have fun is better than being in the throws of the party itself. The smile on Sirius' face is absolutely radiant. Honestly, he's fucking glowing.

By the time it hits 2am, Remus knows the party isn't dying down anytime soon. He's had a bloody brilliant time, but it's slightly too close to the next full moon for him to be able to pull an all nighter like the rest of his insane lot. He decides to slip away quietly. Sirius would be all too willing to abandon the party to come with him, but Remus doesn't want to cut his fun in half. Not when he needs it more than anybody, after Regulus' strange transformation from a quiet, angry kid to head of the Deatheaters-in-Training, as the Gryffindors like to refer to them.

Sirius needs a night of forgetting.

That decided, Remus sneaks out of the common room, up the stairs, and into the dorm unnoticed. At least, he thinks it went unnoticed. That is, until the door creaks open as Remus sits on his bed, legs crossed. He looks up at the door, only to find Sirius walking in with a small smile.

"Hey. You turning in for the night?" He asks.

"Yeah," Remus nods, rooting around for his book. "How come you're not out there having fun?"

"Oh, I've had plenty fun," Sirius waves him off like it's nothing. "Also, I was kind of hoping I could talk to you."

"Of course you can," Remus says, trying to bite back any tension building. At this point, he and Sirius have had every negative conversation under the sun, so he knows that it's probably not anything bad. Still, it's always going to be a nerve-wracking thing to hear. Sirius settles opposite Remus on his bed.

"So, er..." He starts fidgeting with his hands, looking down as he contemplates his words. "Seventh year has been... eye opening. What with the war, and the fact that everything's going to get really shit really quickly. One thing about my birthday this year, turning eighteen, it got me thinking. Since life after school is going to be bloody terrifying, it's probably worth doing some things that scare the shit out of me now." Remus is pretty taken aback by this. Sirius has been doing terrifying shit his entire life, with his insane fucking family. This doesn't quite feel like something Remus can interrupt, so he keeps his mouth shut. "You don't have to say anything, and I- I don't want to make anything awkward. This is more about... doing something scary and getting it off my chest. Christ, I'm really waffling, aren't I?" Remus chuckles at that.

"Whatever you want to get off your chest, Padfoot, you can say it. I won't be upset."

"I don't know, you might be."

"It's pretty much impossible to be mad at you, Sirius." They'd been through the worst, this couldn't be anywhere near as bad as that. Sirius nods, taking a deep breath and meeting Remus' eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

Oh.

Oh.

Remus, for once, is rendered speechless. His eyes widen, as poor Sirius starts to elaborate. He always does this when he's stressed, Remus knows that. He wants to say something, but he can't get his brain to do anything other than repeat he loves me he loves me he loves me he-

"I have for a while, now. I just- I think you're incredible. I've always been... I don't know, I just worried that it was going to ruin our friendship. Especially after fifth year, and rebuilding everything. The thing is, I'm getting a lot worse at hiding it, and I figured it would be best to just get it off my chest. I know you probably don't feel the same way, and that's fine. I just... wanted you to know, I guess."

He's not going to stop anytime soon, is he?

Remus really needs to do something. Words aren't going to come to him anytime soon, and there's only one other solution, really.

"I really hope this doesn't wreck everything, though, because you mean the world to me-" He's cut off when Remus finally manages to do something. Namely, leaning in and connecting their lips.

He hears Sirius gasp, sending Remus' stomach back flipping. Maybe it's the firewhisky, maybe the adrenaline, but in Remus' brief moment of boldness, he lets his hand slide into Sirius' hair. He's rewarded with Sirius deepening the kiss. It's overwhelming, all-consuming, incredible.

After what could be seconds, could be hours, but isn't long enough, they break away, eyes meeting.

"Yep. this is officially my favourite birthday," Sirius says, a grin spreading across his face.

[mcflymemes]

DRAGON AGE: THE VEILGUARD PROMPTS PT 3 *  assorted dialogue from the third and fourth hour of the video game

my information was accurate.

now you realize the danger is real.

you are asking for knowledge no mortal in this world is privy to.

i need to know what makes you the right person to lead the fight.

i stopped you, didn't i?

i find a way to get the job done, whatever it takes.

how do we stop them from doing it?

that will give you time.

i gave no orders. all i offer are suggestions.

i... regret what happened.

you've gotta take point on this.

i can't do what you do.

i've barely been holding it together in the short time you've been out.

you just need to get it done.

remember when we first met?

you did most of the work.

you've got a knack for finding your way through the wildest shit i've ever seen, with a plan no one expects.

don't worry. i'll still be here to talk if you need me.

how are you feeling about it?

it doesn't matter how i feel about it.

you made a decision with the best information you had. sometimes you do that, and people end up hurt. or worse.

a good leader isn't someone who never makes mistakes. it's someone who admits when they make one.

not everyone was happy about my decision.

i wish i could be out there with you, [name].

you're here for leads.

who do we hire to fight that?

i've heard of you.

we don't even know what we lost.

you're busy. i shouldn't interrupt.

what's important is that you're happy.

if we forgot something so important, what else did we forget?

i don't expect you to have an answer.

thanks for letting me babble.

we're short on options.

i cannot protect you.

we can talk business when we arrive.

one day, i will see a knife through every would-be tyrant's throat.

sounds like there's more to it.

what i say doesn't leave this room.

you didn't think to tell me?

well, we're not going that way.

i can't believe all this is underwater.

we're looking for a killer.

who are you? who sent you?

they can use it to control me.

in return, i want help killing some things.

this is what success looks like.

we got your target.

the job's done.

we clearly have things to discuss... somewhere else.

i'm ready to get out of this place.

i don't need time. i need a target.

you just got here and already you want to leave again?

how do you get rid of them?

what's everyone talking about?

that can't be the only solution.

you're bleeding.

i know things have been complicated, but i'm glad you're here.

i owe you a debt.

[blue-tearss]

Sheesh.. I guess the old man being a dickhead is a constant between my game and his.

- @your-friend-silver

( congratulations! you get: narrative writing because im too lazy to set up the oak's lab scene for sprites hsjdhfhf )

It's not a familiar face to OAK, but he knows it still. Can see the familiarity in the code, how it parallels neatley with this cartridge's. He isn't from this generation, so then it must be...

He lets his gaze fall over the boy, unreadable except for clear judgement at the uncanny appearance. Yes, he knows this. He knows the base appearance, at least, and there's been plenty of players of BLUE's game, so he can easily sort through memories buried in code to figure out the specifics.

There. Yes, perfect.

[ “, Burnt up your RIVAL'S Pokémon to give him a scare, yes, yes, horrible! ” ]

[ “ ...I'm just kidding. That's not the important part. Is it, ELIAS? ” ]

One, two steps and he's still half-glaring.

[ “ What was it that MAXIMUS said? You were....too intense for him. Yes, yes, so you wandered into a forest and got yourself killed. Tragic, but I've heard worse. ” ]

Three, four, a clock on the wall ticks with empty time, pre-set and inaccurate.

[ “ Perhaps you're here for a reason. Do you want something, SILVER? A proper welcome? ” ]

Five, six, and his expression goes blank. He casts a glance at the PC, which still displays a almost frozen picture of BLUE at the coast's edge.

He shifts his gaze back, offers the boy a fake smile.

[ “ Hello, there.

Welcome to the world of POKEMON! ” ]

[nuwanda24]

You do not get to hurt me just because I asked you once if you were alright

So I've seen a lot of time-travel fix-it stories and most of them involve either not all of the main cast remembering the events of the five seasons or them not talking to each other about it. And I always thought that, in case he remembered, Arthur wouldn't want to make his gravest mistake again - to not talk about things. He never talked, actually talked, to Merlin about all the times he went missing for a few days, about all the strange things that happened around him, he never talked to Morgana about her nightmares, about her fears, he never talked to Gwen about what they both want from their relationship, about Lancelot, her (enchanted) betrayal. He never talked to his knights or anyone for that matter in a way that would leave him emotionally vulnerable. Talking about things makes them real, and I always got the impression that Arthur isn't half as dense or unobservant as we think, but simply refuses to think deeper about certain matters because he knows that it might change things or that it might lead to him discovering truths that might force him to lose those he loves. Not talking and knowing makes things easier for the moment, but it's what ultimately lead to his death. So I thought that if he were sent back in time and remembered, he would talk to people about it, both about the years they've lived and lost, and about all the things he never addressed when he was still alive. And I think the most important thing to change the future is not talking to Merlin and letting him help and knowing what's going on so that Arthur can help him, but it is clearing the air with Morgana, rebuilding their broken bond and getting her back. And that first conversation between the two siblings just jumped me on a trainride a vew days back and I had to flesh it out, and here it is.

The Set-up of my little headcanon-AU is that Arthur wakes up in his room after he died, and things are off in his chambers. Things that he added after he ascended the throne are missing, things from his days as crown prince that he knows are broken are here again, the table is in the wrong corner, etc. And the cherry on top is that instead of Merlin, Morris comes in to wake him and tells him his schedule for the day, which include an inspection as head knight, the arrival of Lady Helen, a fitting for the celebration that it's been 20 years since the Great Dragon was captured, and a dinner with his father and Morgana. Confused, Arthur fakes to be ill and spends the rest of the day brooding, working out the time-travel thing and generally brooding about Merlin. He slowly realises all the times that man has saved his life, as well as some of the points in his life where he made the wrong choice and things turned out for the worse, especially in regards to Morgana. In the evening, he forces himself downstairs to the family dinner, where Morgana behaves very odd, making him suspect that she, too, remembers (Uther doesn't, or at least doesn't show anything). Desperately needing to have the talk with his sister that was years in the making, Arthur again feigns an illness to get out of the dinner and compose himself, before he heads over to Morgana's quarters. That's were this fic starts.

In case this attracts the attention of anyone who'd be interested in fleshing out this AU, please do so! I would love to write more, but I know that I'm not very good at staying on the ball and finishing long stories.

Arthur had stood before Morgana’s door, hand raised to know, for what felt like eternity. What was he even doing here? The last time they had seen each other he had been nearly dead and unable to response, and then he had watched as Merlin had run her through with Excalibur. What do you say to the sister you once loved, before she turned on you? Before you spent years trying to kill each other, and succeeded? And yet, he couldn’t walk away. He had to talk to her, no matter how painful the conversation might turn out to be. He wouldn’t risk losing her a second time. He didn’t think he’d be able to survive that kind of heartbreak. He hesitantly brought his hand down on the door, knocking softly. Once, twice.

“Come in.”

Arthur gently opened the door, only to remain close to it. Surprise hushed over Morgana’s face, followed by grief. She quickly turned around, evading his prodding gaze.

“What do you want, Arthur? I thought you were ill.”

“I came to talk.“

Her shoulders tensed, but she didn’t speak.

“You were… different, this evening.”

“Different? You’re as eloquent as always, Arthur.”

She strode toward the window, getting as much space between them as her rooms allowed. Arthur pressed on.

“You were distant, reserved. You refused to meet my eye, still do. And if you did look at me - if I didn’t know better, I’d say it might have been grief in your eyes, and guilt.”

Morgana’s shoulders tensed further, yet she remained silent, gaze directed outside on the courtyard, while not registering anything at all.

“You know, I always thought of you as a sister. I know I wasn’t great in showing my affections, but I always hoped I’d be someone you could confide in. Someone you could trust. I certainly trusted you.”

Still, Morgana refused to face him or break her silence, or correct his past tense. It was confirmation enough for him. She remembered. So he decided to press on, to get those thoughts off his chest that had plagued him for the last years and refused to let him sleep.

“I know I failed in showing you that. I failed to protect you from father, I didn’t nearly stand up enough to Uther even when I knew he was wrong. I left you alone, frightened, facing fears and dangers I can’t ever imagine. In that, I betrayed your trust. You were battling with demons I can’t begin to comprehend, had to life in fear of the pyres for no other crime but simply existing.

But was it enough to justify what you did? Did my failures justify the death of hundreds of innocents, the safety and freedom of Camelot? Your quarrel was with me, and Uther, what gave you the right to pull our kingdom into it? Where did I fail so spectacularly that you’d rather turn to a woman you didn’t know, who only abused you for her own revenge, than to confide in me when you realised you had magic? What happened to the woman who scolded me for going hunting and trying to mend a broken heart with killing, that she was willing to do the very same?”

“She died the moment Merlin tried to kill me.” Morgana’s voice was full of pain and anger, of restricted hurt. Her eyes showed the same emotions as she finally turned around and met his gaze.

“I was scared, alone with my powers and no clue how to control them, and one of the only people I thought I could trust, who knew about my magic, who had promised to help me and to protect me, chose to poison me. I was innocent, back then. And yet he decided to kill me, instead of trying to find another way, or tell me what was wrong. I had trusted him, had trusted you, and you betrayed me, when I hadn’t even given you a reason for that. Morgause might have used me, but she was the only one who saw me as who I truly am, and didn’t back away. She still loved me, with all my failings. She was my sister, and Merlin killed her. And then he killed me.”

“And I am your brother and yet you tried to kill me. And in the end you succeeded. I died, Morgana, we both did. We died in a stupid war of our own making, that had cost us everything we ever loved or believed in. And Merlin did what he thought was right. You really think he’d have poisoned you if there had been another way, however slim the chance of success, to undo the curse? If you do you don’t know him at all. You were his friend as well as mine, as well as Gwen’s, and your betrayal hurt him as much as me. I can’t fault you for things out of your control, for your magic and for turning to the only person you felt save around, it’s true. But you can’t fault him for what he did to protect Camelot, to protect me.”

“You always defend him, don’t you? No matter what he has done, no matter how he lied to you. No matter that he killed me. He betrayed you as well as me.”

It took Arthur a moment to answer. She had struck a nerve. But he had come to terms with Merlin’s magic, in his last few days, in today’s brooding.

“I know about him now. And I can’t fault him for hiding that from me, either. All he ever did was for Camelot, and for me. I only hope that I get a chance to thank him, and to apologise. To repair the trust that was broken.”

They both knew he wasn’t only talking about Merlin.

“And if his actions towards you left you unable to ever trust him again, you are in your right. But I still want to try. I want to get the sister back I lost before I ever realised that I even had her.”

His words hung heavy between them. When Morgana spoke again, her voice was quiet and thick with tears.

“Why are we here again, Arthur? Is this some sort of cosmic joke, is this the goddess’ way of punishing us for our mistake, by forcing me to face every single one I ever hurt? By forcing me to live with my guilt? Didn’t we pay enough with dying?”

It was heartbreaking to see her like this. To realise that her face only mirrored his soul. They were both marred by their choices. They couldn’t go back to the young nobles they used to be in this time. But Arthur would be damned if he didn’t do his best to mend what was broken between them.

“Maybe this is a second chance. A gift, rather than a curse, to allow us to set things right. To find a way out of this never-ending war. I certainly hope so. And I know that I can’t achieve that on my own.”

“Why are you so calm? The Arthur I knew would have screamed, shouted, thrown goblets and insults, and me in the dungeons. If you remember as well as me, why do you ask me for help? Why do you even bother talking to me, why don’t you just go to Uther and tell him about my magic and get this over with? If you want to change the future, just let him kill me and you’ll stop everything I did from repeating itself!”

“Because you are my sister, Morgana, and I love you! Do you really think I would kill you? That I would let you burn? The Arthur you knew died as well as the Morgana I grew up with. And I died full of regrets, and the biggest one was that I failed to be a king that my friends felt like they could trust. Both you and Merlin were too afraid of me to tell me about your magic, to tell me about anything that was going on. And I think this is why everything went to hell in the first place. And now that I know, I want to be let in. I want to help you figure things out, to prevent you from turning, again. I missed you every single day, Morgana. Yes, there were times where I hated you for what you did. I don’t think I can ever fully forgive you for what you’ve done to Camelot. But I can’t live through losing you a second time, I simply can’t! Not when we have a chance to change things.”

He was crying now. To hell with Uther and all his comments that real men didn’t cry. He needed her to see the extent of his feelings, the sincerity of his request. Morgana’s resolve crumbled as well. She sunk down on the windowsill, staring into the night and letting the tears flow freely. For a long time neither of them spoke.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” The words were a whisper, barely audible over the still unspoken, screaming words between them. “I want to change, I want to undo all that I’ve done, but how? We both killed, and lied, and died. We fucking died, Arthur! In more ways than one, and I don’t even know if I still know how to live. If I even want to live. If I’m not already a monster, unable to crawl back to the light. How could I change the course of history when I can’t even look at myself in the mirror? When I don’t have it in me right now to trust you?”

“If you are a monster, then so am I. And relearning to live with ourselves will take time. If you want, we can start with a truce. No more secrets, no more lying. Trust takes time to build, but I want to be able to trust you again, For you to trust in me. If you are ready and willing to talk, come to me and I will be there. That is all I ask.”

His shoulders sagged at Morgana’s small answering nod. That was more than he could have hoped for. He sent her a small smile in return. “Good night, ‘Gana.” He left his sister’s chambers too fast to see the freshly dwelling tears at the old nick name, yet still slow enough to catch her feather soft “Good night, Arthur.”

[thefirstknife]

100% true, definitely needs to be said.

A lot of people in fandom spaces HATE when characters grow and change. They get attached to a certain version of a character that appeals to them the most, and if the character grows or changes in anyway, these people will become upset and go as far as to claim things are being retconned or whatever (especially if they change against their headcanons and like I'm sorry but sometimes your headcanons are wrong).

Drifter literally just had a character arc, and an excellent one at that. We know so much about his life. We know where he came from, how he lived at the start of being a Lightbearer, we know what he went through. We know what he lost and how, we know how much it traumatised him. His trauma caused him to close off and isolate, to keep people at bay because if he gets close to them, he will lose them again. He resented the Light and searched for other ways, leading him into schemes and unsavoury company and experimenting with the Darkness back when that was much more frowned upon and more dangerous.

He didn't want connections because he didn't trust them. He didn't trust that they would last and that he wouldn't be hurt again. Everyone who dismisses Drifter's trauma or treats it as just some cool aspect of his character is immediately suspect to me, not gonna lie. Like, yes, unhinged Drifter is interesting as a character and I enjoy that part of his life as well, but I ultimately want him to heal and get better.

It's always been presented that he wanted to do good and to help people and save them, but given his circumstances, he either couldn't or, later, he started distancing from them because he believed that his presence would make it worse. Drifter always cared, deeply. The name chosen for him even as a Dredgen was "Hope." His arc was always moving in the direction of him accepting his helpful nature and coming to terms of working with other people, having a community, and having trusted friends. That's the natural conclusion of his story. He overcomes his trauma.

Which he did! And it took years. And it started with us. Arguably, you can say it also started with Shin and the Gambit setup with the Vanguard, but we, the YW, were the true first catalyst. We didn't have any baggage around him, so we accepted who he was and we trusted him. And we were one of the people who he wouldn't lose. We stayed with him through everything so far. Through us, he realised that there's more to connection with other people than simply losing them.

Drifter's arc from someone who saw no hope for survival and was ready to leave it all behind and try his luck out there all alone to someone who gradually realised that there's strength in the pack and that there are people who care and who will help him and protect him has genuinely been one of the best parts of the Destiny story. Way too many people view Drifter superficially and have never engaged with any of his story.

This is particularly baffling when it comes from people who are allegedly fans of him. Why do you want him to suffer forever? Because, as a fan of the Drifter, I want him to have a character arc and to heal from trauma. I want him to feel safe. I want him to never be hungry again. I want him not to worry about people he cares about dying in his arms.

I feel like a lot of people just want to be able to write edgy angst fanfics. And I want a narrative: I want characters to evolve over time and respond to the changes in their circumstances.

Sorry for going off on your post, you're completely correct and this is one of those pet peeves that I have, specifically about the Drifter and how the fandom treats him and how many times I've seen the fandom rejecting his arc and his healing from trauma. Anti-recovery website, I guess. Idk, the borderline obsession with the Drifter from 5 years ago who was going through immense suffering and isolation out of fear and paranoia is kinda uncomfortable to me in the context of people saying that this Drifter was better.

It was a great start to his character! It made him really interesting and compelling! Knowing where he came from and how he started is what makes the rest of his story stand out and encapsulate the core of the Destiny's theme. He chose to change. He chose to overcome his fears and anxiety and to try. And there's plenty of characters who refused to do this; those stories are also compelling. But the Drifter was never pointed in that direction. From the very start, he was shown to be a man of hope, and care, and need to protect. He just didn't get a chance to fulfil his purpose until much later. And I'm glad he got that chance. I love seeing him enjoying his time with people and helping everyone out. It's what he always wanted.

mildly unpopular drifter opinion that nobody asked for: he hasn't been "defanged" he's grown closer to the guardian + most of the characters we see him interact with in lore, and dropped enough of his act to resign to his usual bullshit without the exaggeration he's shown to use to keep people at bay. I definitely enjoy unhinged drifter but I enjoy character development more. send post

[minhmynchi]

(venting in the tags ignore this lol)

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm having incoherent thoughts about clone danny again from the clone/clone^2 au (when am I not?) but more specifically I'm thinking about his reaction to finding out he's a clone. The standalone clone au digs into that a little more than clone^2, which is more focused on Danny and Damian's relationship. But neither (so far) really get into Danny's issues about finding out he's a clone after 15 years of thinking he wasn't.

Because he resents his parents for not telling him for so long. He resents the way he found out; through a trivial school project rather than a sit-down talk. He resents the fact that, apparently, they had meant to tell him sooner. But forgot. He resents the fact that they never told him because finding out feels like something was stolen from him when it had the chance to not be.

Danny Fenton, just fifteen, cloned not even half a year ago, knows what that personal violation of autonomy feels like. He knows what it's like to be cloned and while he loves Ellie, he does, she's his sister, and in this au his twin. But he is still left with that feeling of unsafety after realizing he'd been cloned. Being cloned is violating. The onset realization that it's so easy to get DNA without the other party noticing, and that what was stopping someone from trying to clone him again?

Followed only after with the rest of the inexplainable mix of feelings of being cloned, the rest of that inner conflict and panic that's an ugly mocktail of emotions that range from horror to fear. Trying to imagine what it's like to be cloned from the cloned party, and I imagine that it leaves you with the feeling of needing to crawl out of your own skin with discomfort.

And then he gets put on the other side of it. Danny Fenton, only fifteen, was cloned not even half a year ago, finding out he is a clone. And reactions, I imagine, can vary from person to person. But to him, it feels like something got stolen from him, like someone took a hole puncher and stuck it right into his chest and stole a chunk of himself from him.

It changes nothing about him and yet it changes everything. It's a betrayal on it's own to just find out he was a clone and they didn't tell him for fifteen years -- it shouldn't mean anything, because he's still Danny, and yet it means everything. It's him, it's him, it's about him. It's his personhood. It's about the fact that a load-bearing rock in his identity just crumbled beneath his feet and now there's a rockslide.

Because then he finds out that they used the wrong DNA. Its like pouring salt in an open wound. He's not even related to his parents or his sister, when for years he thought he was. It's the fact that pieces of his identity that he's been so secure in for so long just got ripped away from him in an instant. Then they tell him -- only through his own horrified prompting -- that the person whose DNA they used -- Bruce Wayne -- didn't even know he existed. That they accidentally used the wrong DNA, then didn't tell the person whose DNA they used.

The betrayal of being lied to for years turns really quickly into horror at his own existence. Something very similar to the horror he felt at being cloned and the skin-crawling discomfort that made him feel like his own skin wasn't really his. And then its not. It's actually not. Nothing but his own name feels like it belongs to him anymore -- not his hair, not his eyes, not his heart or his lungs, nothing feels like his anymore and he didn't know what that felt like until it was gone.

It's a question of Nature Vs. Nurture -- where does the line of "nature" begin and where does the line of "nurture" end? What of him is actually his? What of him is Bruce Wayne's? It's not logical, it's not supposed to be. It's a load-bearing wall on the house of his identity being destroyed and now everything else is caving down in on him. What belongs to Danny, what belongs to Bruce Wayne?

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[summer-sapphic]

Hi I'm mad

[doedipus]

a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.

it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.

[wayfayrr]

I hope life eases up soon man, take care of yourself

Thanks mate <3

stuff's starting to gradually get better now, actually let myself feel feelings after bottling them till it popped

just kinda turns out that throwing yourself into something so you're numb to the other things can really burn you out :') So I'm trying to find motivation to write and answer asks again, I'm hoping it'll be soon but idk atp

[blubble-lake]

it's been over 2 weeks and this thing (unfortunately) still has a grip on me

[ultimafangirl]

What if someone wrote a Karina's Last Days fanfic where her family is forced to relive all those moments when they were terrible to her. Maybe they can feel her pain while they're at it.

Like, literally. The bookshelf falls on her in the library and they will feel the same pain she felt.

They can watch all those moments. See all those moments laid bare. Preferably with someone, not a character, just a very-much-not-impartial observer.

"And here you are planning a party on her birthday. Not for her birthday of course. No we can't have that. What was it again? Graduation? Was the party fun? Just forget all about Karina and focus on what really matters."

"That wasn't-"

"Oh? Got something to say? Now, I'm curious. What was so special about that day that you had to have the party?

"I-I asked father what day would be best. I didn't realize it was her birthday until... until he told her about it later."

"You don't know your own sisters birthday!? How horrible! I know my brother's birthday."

---

*bookcase scene*

"Ooh, just look! You can see just her heart being crushed along with her body!"

---

"You're watching this because I despise people like you. Who pick a scapegoat to bully while you pretend to be a happy family. Did it feel good? To threaten your daughter just because she wanted to feel the warmth of someone's love?"

---

"I mean, she was still in pain from sickness over there. But you're not seeing any of that. Because she's happy there. She's sick but she's not suffering. You only get to see the suffering."

"I think you need a repeat viewing. Maybe this time I'll put you in her body. Watch it from her own eyes. Won't that be fun?"

Why are they going through this? Maybe when it's over they'll go back in time and get a second chance to do it right.

Or maybe that's a lie.

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[whatudottu]

Absolute theory/headcanon/analysis/general idea legend whatudottu character arc of slowly becoming one of the four (4) Cerebrocrustacean fans in the entire fandom (even if Petrosapiens will always be #1 in its heart, which, you know, completely understandable NGL) let’s gooooo!

Also I can’t believe I haven’t made this connection until now but:

Cerebrocrustacean: “My people have a rich and complex history and culture, but most of the galactic audience boils us down to being nothing but ‘the violently bigoted xenophobes who keep destroying their own planet’ and it frustrates me to no end.”

Gourmand who’s been forced to hear the same “I can excuse cannibalism but I draw the line at marrying outside of your own race” joke over and over again: “Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.”

Me and my homies (4) being cerebrocrustacean fans: If cerebrocrustaceans have 0 fans we are dead, haha- Would buy merchandise to convince CN that Brainstorm is a cool transformation *looks over my shoulder to see the playdough brainstorm with removable brain toy that either I or my sibling got millions of years ago*

ANYWAY!

It's very evident when I don't think about a particular species when I have to look something up like the gourmand cannibalism, but seeing as though they have a collective pocket dimension where their stomach goes (at least that's where the logic got them in the show instead of being consumed food expelled in energy reflux), if cannibalism didn't implode the two gourmands like how bag of holding inception works then I suppose it's far better than *shudders* perk murk relationships. Got a whole 'house divided' 'alike in dignity' situation over here, Perkulet and Murktague having asses-

...You know what if I get a chance to think about gourmands in more detail I might turn that pocket dimension into a magic thing instead of a xenobiology thing that's just overall bullshit- comes free with potentially real cannibalism but like they've eaten 11 planets I think cannibalism just in general pales in comparison to what they could do-

Well, whatever cannibalism gourmands excuse and all the jokes they have to deal with about perk murk relationships being somehow much much worse, at least they don't get shoveled with 'violent bigots' that 'aren't smart enough to support their lifestyle without destroying their own planet' which well- I don't have any present headcanons as to why Encephalonus is on it's 4th edition yet but let me tell you, when cerebrocrutaceans found out the galvans lost their planet (admittedly to the Highbreed Invasion) and then galvans WEREN'T immediately assumed to have fucked up somewhere, you can bet that Dr Psychobos was one in the crowd that went absolutely livid.