#i can already tell a lot of changes are gonna happen by the final draft haha

[bam-stroker]

So I found out next year is going to be year of the dragon.... so this means I've gotta kick my shit into gear to make my dragon romance book happen in 2024

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[sanguinesky-if]

Hello dear author last night I completed the public demo and I just wanted to inform you that the Lexie POV at the end broke my heart, I was gonna have flings with T And S but I don't know whether I'll be able to bring myself to don it now, I just feel bad for Parker he did nothing wrong but stiill got shit on 😔.

Also I find find the Parallels between L and my MC very amusing, L blames herself for EVERYTHING leaving MC to attend her sister's wedding, having Parker over, and making MC sad, whilst my MC would blame himself for having Parker kicked out and having L be scared.

Finally in Lexie's POV Parker tells her that MC already has other friends so is that Reffering to K and will that line always be there regardless of wherever we pick any heart choices for K?

Hello! I'm happy to know L's POV is eliciting an emotional response.

I was gonna have flings with T And S

I apologize if this is disappointing, but (so far)* no one from the main cast can become just a "fling".

You can check out the Romance System Overview for more information about the romance progression and the different dynamics available in the game.

*I wrote "so far" because I'm still deciding how to best approach the issue of route locking. But I'm glad you mentioned this, as it's actually something that's been bothering me for a while.

T and S were supposed to have sex scenes in Chapter 3, Pt. 2 because when the game was originally planned as a visual novel, the route-locking happened at the end of Chapter 2, and the opportunity to have sex with them made sense without implying that the other ROs would be affected.

Since this is no longer the case, I'm hesitant to include their sex scenes because:

This will block some of the ROs' routes (with T, the routes of 3 ROs will be blocked; with S, 2).

This will greatly impact other routes, given how jealous the ROs can be.

Considering that this is my first IF and I already have a lot to keep track of, for now, I've decided to move their drafted sex scenes to the side stories (and part of me happy with that decision, because the format of the side stories gives me so much freedom for sex scenes without need to worry about other ROs).

Though I understand that most people would probably prefer to see the sex scenes in the main story sooner rather than later, I'm trying to make balanced decisions that feel right.

And, most importantly, I don't want to overwork myself.

Still, if anything changes, I'll update the Romance System Overview and release another post to inform about those changes.

I just feel bad for Parker he did nothing wrong but stiill got shit on 😔.

I love hearing different opinions about Parker! But what if they purposely announced that the shower was free louder than necessary? 🧐

MC would blame himself for having Parker kicked out

L didn't kick Parker out just because of what Parker said about the MC.

If you choose the "concealed crush" dynamic with the "MC keeps their feelings hidden" subtype, it'll give you a little insight about L (and a part of the reason why MC might be hesitant to confess):

So even without mentioning the MC, L would have asked Parker to leave because L don't want to give them any hope that their kindness may ignite (as it had many times before).

in Lexie's POV Parker tells her that MC already has other friends so is that Reffering to K and will that line always be there regardless of wherever we pick any heart choices for K?

There are 4 variations of what Parker says, depending on how many romance points you have with K and Morgan.

If you have 0 romance points with both of them, Parker will say something completely different.

Thank you for your message! I hope my answers were helpful!

[chirpingfromthebox]

Me just thinking out loud and inarticulately trying to wrap my head around my thoughts on the simmering dumpster fire that is my hometown team. Feel free to scroll on by.

I feel like something missing from a lot of the Curl discussion is the context it all happened in. Lots of articles and posts make it seem like the problem fans have is just that Curl got drafted at all. And I think the context around it all matters.

The league shit canned Natalie Darwitz days before the draft, wouldn't say why, acted like they aren't saying anything because they want to respect Darwitz, but meanwhile Darwitz seems like she would LOVE to talk about the situation.

To make matters worse there's all this talk and speculation surrounding the role Klee had in this, and amongst that he goes to the draft table with the emptiest table of any team, drafts Curl in the second round, (you can tell the league already was ready for bad fallout from Curl because they had a prepared statement locked and loaded to go out in the youtube chat seconds after it happened), and then Klee IMMEDIATELY makes things worse by purposefully staging her draft photo to be taken with St. Paul's mayor Melvin Carter (a black man) and the assistant coach (a queer woman).

Then Klee, the team, and the league decide to handle the fallout from everything in the most half-assed tone-deaf manner possible.

Before the Darwitz debacle I had mentally prepared myself for the eventuality that someone would draft Curl. But I had prepared myself for someone doing it in the back half of the draft.

A team would get her, but at least it would suggest Curl's actions had lowered her value considerably in teams' eyes.

Like, none of the craziness happened, and Darwitz had drafted Curl in the 5th or 6th round, made a proper acknowledgement of the situation and their plan for moving forward, and Curl had made an apology video that was written by someone who didn't go to the American Political School of Empty Statements?

I think the community could understand. We wouldn't love it, but we could live with it. It would be like seeing a big spider in the corner of my ceiling: I certainly don't like it, and I'm gonna keep my eye on this, but as long as it doesn't step to me any further we'll be alright.

But that's not what happened. And that's not how it happened.

And I'm still not sure what to do with my Minnesota fandom at this point.

At the moment I'm waiting to see what the final team looks like. If they re-sign their queer players I'm willing to put in the work to fight against Mr. Potato Head's attempts to sabotage my team, and try to at least make the fan community as welcoming and inclusive as possible.

But if Klee and co. don't bring back Minnesota's queer players? Then I'm out. For the good of my own mental health I'll go support a different team until they can get their shit together.

Because I do believe that people can change. Especially people in their 20s who were dumb-ass ignorant assholes in college. And she's not my main problem. My main problem is what does this team and this league want to be? Because someone like Curl coming into a queer positive environment is one thing. But her coming into a place with nothing but conservative ideals and a pinkwashed door? That's something else entirely.

And if the people at the top are going to fire the woman who built the team, put a dude in charge, give a person with a history of supporting bigoted ideas a position of influence, and become the only team in the league without any queer players?

And then have the gall to claim to be an inclusive?

Fuck that.

[also everyone wants to act like Minnesota is some rogue villain in all this and that isn't fair. This isn't like the big league male teams: there are no individual team owners here. The league controls it all and their fingers are in every pie. But that's a whole different conversation.]

[askbensolo]

Journal Entry #55: Updates on my novel and also my life

So, the blurrg sex scene probably isn’t integral to the main thread of my novel. But, I’m hesitant to cut it because I think it would be kriffing hilarious to tell people there’s a sex scene in my story, only for them to find out two-thirds of the way in that it’s just two blurrgs blurrging it on.

Also, the fact that I witnessed it with my own two eyes on Ryloth means I have to share the trauma.

A few more no-context spoilers for fun:

Fannie’s Sisters Casually Emasculate Me Over Dinner

Fifty Teenage Twi’lek Boys, One Brain Cell

Pennie Pentarra is Not the Innocent Victim I Thought She Was

Ruut Pentarra Joins the Club of People Who Disapprove of Me Dating Fannie (But Because He Thinks I Could Do Better)

Fannie and I Spent the Night in a Sex Dungeon (Nothing Happened)

And also…

Fannie and I Broke Up (Again)

So! I’ve spoiled the ending for you! You don’t even need to read it!!

Did I write this post mainly because I didn’t know how else to announce my breakup? Maybe. Possibly.

It’s not like it’s a surprise or anything. I think we all saw it coming.

Well, except for her, maybe.

…

Well—anyway.

I thought writing a novel about my own life would be easy because I didn’t actually have to come up with the plot, but—there is actually an art to arranging the details in a way that flows and makes sense. So, even though I’m like 80% done with my first draft already…I know it’s kind of garbage at this point, and I’ll have to do quite a bit of polishing.

Luckily, I will have lots of time to do that! Because…I finally admitted to my mom about Snoke Part Two: The Snokening, and—as expected—she is making me quit my job and move back home immediately!!

And normally that would leave Poe paying 2,000 credits of monthly rent on his own, but in the interests of expediting my homecoming, my mom is graciously paying the difference until Poe can find another roommate.

Luckily, I know a guy. He threatened to kill me in the back of a Spacebucks once, but, eh—water under the bridge.

And speaking of ol’ stick-up-his-butt…

…I ended up paying back Armitage for all my “free” coffees.

Yeah. The Force made me do it—or something. Call it an early Life Day miracle.

I’ve been rethinking a lot, let’s just say that. I knew I could part with the credits, since I won’t be paying rent for the foreseeable future, and I’m gonna look for a new job on Hosnian Prime.

Ha. Armitage, Poe and Beebee-Ate. Now, I can see them all getting along reeaal well. Heh heh heh.

Sigh. I’m gonna miss Naboo, and miss Theed. I’ve spent the past three years of my life here.

…I miss Fannie too. I wish I hadn’t…well…yeah.

I’ll even miss Poe and Beebee-Ate. I’m leaving right as they were beginning to grow on me. Poe’s been a good buddy (even if I’ve seen his bare ass more times than I ever wanted to).

About the only thing I won’t miss is my job—but even then, it was part of my routine, something that made my days predictable in the bad way but also kind of in the good way, and it was a key part of my new life as an official grown-up adult-person-guy.

I’m gonna hang out with my old college bud Treeso one last time before I leave Naboo. And then I’m gonna put in my two weeks’ notice, pack up my stuff, try to sell whatever I can’t take home, and then…that’ll be that, I guess.

Goodbye, Naboo.

I feel like everything in my life is changing all at once. It’s…kind of sad.

But…that’s just how it goes. Isn’t it?

“Always in motion, is the future,” Fannie said, when we were breaking up.

“What?”

“The future. It’s always in motion.”

“Well, yeah—but why’d you say it backwards, the first time?”

“I don’t know,” she said, surprised, like she’d never thought about it before. “That’s just always the way Master Luke said it.”

And speaking of Uncle Luke…

…Mom wants me to start meeting with him again.

…It’s okay. Fannie and I aren’t a thing anymore anyway, so…

…Yeah.

My twenty-fourth birthday is in a couple of weeks. I was originally gonna do something for it, ‘cause I have ongoing December-birthday-overshadowed-by-Life-Day trauma—but…meh. I’m too busy now to celebrate. Twenty-four’s pretty much the same thing as twenty-three anyway.

Hey—sorry I haven’t written as much, the past month. (Well, I’ve been writing a lot—just, not for my blog.) But…I’ll try to keep you guys updated on my move, and whatever. Happy to answer any questions about my writing project, too.

Oh—but do me a favor and don’t…ask Fannie about my trip to Ryloth, or anything. Some…stuff happened while I was there—I mean, besides the breakup—and…well, I think it’s just best if you don’t ask. I’m not sure it’s something she’d like to talk about.

Hope everyone is staying warm and enjoying season’s festivities and punching germs in the face and all that.

Me—I’m doing pretty okay, too.

You know me. I always pull through.

Your dude,

—Ben

[aaronstveit]

On the subject of song lyrics, there is a question I have been wanting to ask about your playlist: Every single song goes perfectly with deep end (and honestly holds me over until the next chapter lol). I’m curious about what comes first - did the lyrics inspire some of the scenes, or did you write the scene and then dip into this vast well of musical knowledge that I am so jealous you have? (I will never listen to Little Lion Man again without thinking about your Enjolras).

oooh such a fun question <333 i love the deep end playlist dearly and could talk about it forever and ever

the short answer is that some songs inspired feelings or concepts i wanted to include in deep end, but actual scenes themselves were not (consciously) inspired by songs!

the long answer is that a lot of the songs on the deep end playlist and/or that i use for chapter titles are songs i already associated with exr or at least the individual characters. little lion man, for instance, has been on my enjolras playlist forever! (fun fact: weep, little lion man was one of the titles i considered for deep end before settling on throw me in the deep end, i'm ready now to swim.)

most of the chapter titles are associated with a specific event in the chapters themselves. a lot of the chapter titles came before i wrote the chapters, but i knew generally what i wanted to happen when i named them. and a lot of the chapter titles have also changed from draft to draft! for example:

chapter 6 final name: not a flower on the wall (emotion by carly rae jepsen)

chapter 6 original name: take this pink ribbon off my eyes (just a girl by no doubt)

chapter 10 final name: pressure points, they pressure you right back (hate that you know me by bleachers)

chapter 10 original name: tracing an old pattern (drawing the lines from where i am and where i want to be) (i can change by lake street dive)

chapter 11 final name: some things i never expect (halloween by phoebe bridgers)

chapter 11 original name: i didn't know i was lonely till i saw your face (i wanna get better by bleachers)

chapter 17 final name: and whatever we had locked up now is free (lipstick covered magnet by the front bottoms)

chapter 17 original name: all the hope i had when i was young, i hope i wasn't wrong (dream of mickey mantle by bleachers)

i've also just very recently changed the name of chapter 24, which i'm pretty excited about! i won't tell you the new name, but the old name for chapter 24 was "my moodboard is just pictures of you (but i'm not sad anymore)" from the song fake out by fall out boy <3

there are a lot of songs i listened to on repeat while writing that probably subconsciously inspired parts of deep end. some of the big ones that are definitely going to end up on my spotify wrapped because of this fic are:

lucid dreaming by alice kristiansen

spit of you by sam fender

into your room by holly humberstone

surrender by walk the moon

close to you by gracie abrams

like a river runs by bleachers

an ego thing by lizzy mcalpine

admit defeat by bastille

thumbs by lucy dacus

anywhere with you by maggie rogers

there are a lot of specific lyrics that really spoke to me while writing that i'm gonna talk about in another post but i hope you enjoyed this answer <333 as always, thank you for asking!!

[torasteals]

The End Of Tora Steals Things: A GW2 Fan Comic/Novel

Hey! So with the end of Amulet Of Bolli having gone up on Dec. 23rd, 2023, it's time to talk bout something I've been putting off for awhile now.

You read the title, let's get into it: The End Of Tora Steals Things.

Amulet Of Bolli is the last story I will make for Tora Steals Things. That's it. There's no more. It's ending there as I move forward with Apocalypse Child (which launched on Dec. 21st at apocalypsechildcomic.com!).

So why is it ending?

Those of you who've watched my streams probably already knew this as I've been talking about it ending for awhile now. Hell, many of you may have figured out it was singing its swan song when I first announced Apocalypse Child, or changed the update schedule to once every two weeks, or changed it to a webnovel format... Many of you probably knew it was dying before I was willing to admit it myself.

Truthfully, I have roughly 16 or so stories left for Tora Steals Things, and I really wanted to make them all. TST means a lot to me: it taught me how to make comics and it brought me joy during some of the hardest moments of my life. I'm honestly so touched that so many people read and enjoyed it over the years. You guys made it worth it, you really did.

However, TST has long lived past its due date, and this last story proved that to me. Amulet Of Bolli Part Two took six months to write--six months where I had no time to edit past a first draft, could not build a decent buffer, and had no time to work on writing for Apoclaypse Child. Did it take less time than it would have as a comic? Yes, absolutely, but it still took far more time and energy than what it's currently worth. It exhausted me to my limit to make.

I don't know what else to say, really--I burned out on TST years ago but just kept pushing. I'm sad I couldn't complete it the way I wanted to, sure, but I can't tell you how relieved I am to finally allow myself to stop working on it.

For those last 16-ish stories, they're now available in written summaries as bonus material for the deluxe edition of the third and final e-book for Tora Steals Things. I hope that will satisfy those of you curious over where the story was gonna go, had I kept making it.

On that note, the last e-book collecting the last of the comics and prose for TST is out and available for purchase: Volume 3--Contract Complete which you can pick up here.

What's next?

As my focus moves onto Apocalypse Child, the Patreon for Tora Steals Things has been made to re-focus on that as well. I'm still keeping all the previous rewards for TST available on that Patreon. In the future, time-willing, I may collect those rewards to sell in digital bundles alongside the e-books so that those of you interested in just the Tora Steals Things sketch pages, scripts, thumbnails, and so forth, can just buy it instead of signing up for the Patreon. I'm also considering doing a live Q&A stream for the ending of TST near the end of the month. Might not do it. Depends on interest, really.

If this is something that interests you, I'll be sure to update this space or my twitter (@GriffinSBNorth) if and when anything happens.

All that said, I wanna just like, thank those of you who read my work all this time. Tora Steals Things was always a bit out there as a fan project and it means the world to me that so many of you loved my hot mess of a plant thief and all his friends.

Really, truly, thank you.

And please, feel free to ask me questions if you have any.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I almost hate how much i switched teams from 2718 to abacus, but its just bc he's new and shiny and pretty and pushy. He stifles autonomy so i know 2817 is better in the long run bc u can reason w him and he puts mcs best interests first. Abacus gives me the kind of vibe that he'd let mc get hurt so long as shes his, and tbh i feel like he might enjoy it? Like he'd like to fix her up and *accidentally* press a lil too hard into her wounds wheras 2718 would just use his abilities so that she wont feel the pain to begin w. That's just my assumption tho given what we've seen. Abacus seem the type to only use his powers thingy to subdue reader.

We know that 2718 has met readers past forms/reincarnation w.e u call it and i originally thought abacus did too. Maybe he was her affair or lover in a previous reincarnation methinks? I just felt like he knows her before. This changed a bit towards the end when they were walkin thru the streets while he was giving her the endoscopy (😮‍💨💦) and we learned just how badly mc is seen. Now im starting to wonder if aba is just greedy n wanted her as his lil disabled spouse genuinely, no past relation. Idk. I still feel like they know each other previously. Or maybe he sensed something abt her back when 2817 brought her in to that place all the way back then. Mc is key to the universe type thing. Doubt that tho.

Neyways i think aba is gnna take her home where he reveals that he not only has four arms, but also two dicks n he's gnna try to fawk her but some event will inconveniently stop him. I also think he lives in an oasis like place, their version of natural wood everywhere, running waterfalls from the cieling, tons of glass that he can mentally control and shatter at will to threaten reader while having a saccharine smile on his face, the works really.

I wnna believe translator(TA) is gnna get 2718 and theyll find mc but now im thinking maybe they might not meet up like that. 2718 might find TA n ditch her to find mc and TA has to scramble to keep up, might even meet her on the way back after 2718 saves the day. Also wondering whts gnna happen to TA bc i dont think anything criminally bad happened to her even tho we heard her screaming. Be real interesting if she were screaming bc 2817 found her and juuuust missed mc and aba. I think when 2718 finds mc and aba they're gnna be familiar w eachother but not fight bc aba is one slippery bastard. Or maybe itll be convenient where aba leaves mc unattended for a bit and someone tries to harm her and then 2718 makes him big appearance, like when mc was first dropped into the world and 2718 saved her. I have more thoughts on that but ive already wrote an essay here and in my other ask 😭

Anywhooo ty fr the chapter, hope your healing well 💕💕💕 -🐰

Damn this sure is a well written essay 😳 its either ur a really good analyst or im just a predictable writer cause it almost seems like u have access to my drafts

Cuase that... Kinda exactly whats gonna happen ngl, its still pretty rough around the edges part 15 is just still in its embryo stage with a 50 word list of whars going to hapoen, but yea it pretty similar to what you just described , havent been writing cause i regained my leg freedom finally and i spent literally every waking hour outside, driving and shit

There is going to be a fawking scene in p15 ill tell u and whoevers reading that. Similar to what you descibe with their anatomy but a little different in sequence of events

Thanks for sending in this ask bunny anon this is so cool and i had a great read ❤️❤️ lovely motivation youve given me and i really appreciatte the essay asks -- like, i appreciate if A LOT actually, thanks for reading language barrier too

[orishya-buyce]

Brothers?

this post has been sitting in my drafts for a good while, but I’ve finally gotten some extra downtime this week to look over and edit it. just a semi-brief analysis of the bad batch’s relationship to the other clones and how echo mixes into that dynamic.

my inspiration for this came from this work, Brother Killer by @papanowo

His art is amazing and I highly recommend you check out his blog if you don’t follow him already! :))

this concept is painful to think about.

but unfortunately the og batchers don’t seem to view the ‘regs’ as their brothers. they don’t see echo as a reg, because he doesn’t look like a ‘reg’ anymore. they know he was a reg. but they don’t see him as one now, if that makes sense.

we’ve seen from their TCW s7 arc and TBB s1 that there is tension between the regs and the batch, they do not like each other. and for good reason.

the batch is viewed as special. the kaminoans value them highly, and treat them atleast somewhat better than the regs, even if it is about their value as a soldier/property. they’re treated more like commandos, work more like commandos, assigned missions like commandos, trained like commandos, even think like commandos. this is why Gregor thinks they’re commandos in War-Mantle. they are commandos in every sense except their designation, ct-99s. They’re even more valuable than commandos technically, since there are quite a few commando squads in canon, and only one clone force 99.

even though they’re still clones, they look noticeably different to the regs. Kix points it out: “These guys are clones? They don’t look like clones to me.” Even without the tattoos, scars, and haircuts, you can tell they’re different people. unique individuals. with ‘regs’ you can’t.

This is where we begin to see Echo’s struggle.

he was raised as a reg. trained as a reg. grew up surrounded by other regs, his brothers, and the domino squad. they weren’t viewed as special. he faced the the treat of being decommissioned. but the domino squad was able to overcome that obstacle, by finding themselves and working together as a team. to their superiors, they only proved their worth as trained soldiers.

besides his armor and eventual status as an arc trooper, he’s a standard clone, a ‘reg.’

The Citadel changed that.

The injuries, the trauma, being locked up in a tube for years, experimented on against his will. used by the enemy to defeat the GAR. kill his brothers. Hundreds of them, maybe thousands.

after being rescued, he’s still not the same. He’s gonna carry that trauma with him the rest of his life. he barely even looks like his brothers anymore, let alone himself.

image means a lot, especially in regards to the clones.

the ‘regs,’ besides Rex of course, don’t recognize Echo as one of them anymore.

now that the batch has to fight against clones when dealing with the empire, its ripping open a wound Echo thought was on the mend, and the lack of acknowledgement from Hunter and the rest makes that pain even worse.

so, more than anyone, of course Echo wants to fight. he wants to repair the damage he believes he caused, even though it’s not his fault. he wants to save his brothers so they can make their own choices. he wants to save as many of them as he can from the empire, so they can live the life they want to, the life we know all the clones deserve.

this same desire isn’t present in the batch because, for the reasons I mentioned before, they don’t view the other clones as their brothers. I hope they do, eventually. But it’s obvious we need to see more character development from the entire batch for that to happen. keeping Omega and the squad as a whole safe is the priority, but I’m sure they’ll soon learn running away won’t work forever…or that they even want to.

[none-prob]

I write about a character per day

Day 18: Luz Noceda

Not my last essay posts, I saved 2 special characters for last.

Gonna get this out of the way first. My favourite Luz ship? Not Lumity, Lunter, Willuz. It's Luney (Luz x Viney) platonically. We cool? Cool.

How far can I talk about the biggest protagonist and main character of the show? I don't know, but it's already in the draft, so going with the flow, just like Luz, it is.

I think one of the aspects of Luz that is very heavily overlooked, is that she is really good at communicating, but sometimes really bad at communicating at the same time. Let me explain.

No matter how difference the themes of different cartoons and shows are, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Milo Murphy's Law (I haven't watched Amphibia), no matter how you think of it, fighting is not the main theme. Say all you want, you can't change my mind on it. Fighting doesn't result in you gaining more allies, it only get rid of them. Communication. Is. The. Key. If you can get someone who's on the other side or indecisive to your side without violence, it's incredibly impressive.

Adventures are where allies understand each other better, the one main fight doesn't matter if the allies still can't align. I didn't pull this out of nowhere, remember when Stan and Ford almost got everyone harmed because they can't agree on a grammar mistake, or Steven got his dad kidnapped because Garnet doesn't want to tell. Communication doesn't mean "just talk it out". Communication means an unconditional negotiation that you gain the ally without the risk of them being your enemy again, get rid of the ill-gotten purpose of them being your enemy. How bad was Luz's miscommunication? Well...that may be a really long list, from running away from her mom, almost got her and Amity sowed in a book, and so on and so on.

Luz despite all that bad communication, she still managed to fix everything and get along well with everyone, by...communication. I know, too many times, sorry not sorry. Bad communications lead to division, good communications result in better understanding and sensibility. Communication is the key of change. Luz did not get a cute purple hair girlfriend out of nowhere, so much communication happened. The times Luz and Amity on the brink of collapse because Luz refused to opening up to Amity, but then when she opened up they just got even closer (I like Lumity, just not my all time favourite). Luz changed Amity so drastically we sometimes forgot how much of a brat Amity was in Season 1.

I'm just going through all the recipients of Luz's sensibility. Starting with Camila. Camila and Luz had a massive rift in the beginning, and Luz being really anxious towards her mom? No problem, Luz just need to run away to realize Camila really loved her and wanted things to get better for them. Seriously that scene when Camila holding Luz before she got pulled away made me cry a bit. Even got a cool new snakeshifter by opening up to Camila. Both Camila and Luz were direct victims of an ableist society. Camila hided away her past, Luz tried escapism. But only when they decided to opening up to the other is when they finally found each other. The neurodivergent representation in the show is quite impressive, and I'm giving it where it deserves.

You might think you can't just magically get a right hand man of an imperial overlord on your side by just communicating, but Luz did. Luz recognized the low point of Hunter, and decided to get them to their side. Luz helped Hunter realizing what Belos really is, slowly but surely it made Hunter doubting what he's doing, and finally get him to his side, even called him a brother to her. From trucing against a common enemy, to actually worked together. The hardest part which is shifting Hunter away from Belos' side, she had done, and Hexside was there to finally get Hunter to her side.

Even her allies from the beginning got a lot better with her. Collector said "she's cold-hearted but actually cares a lot". Who made her care a lot? Luz. Luz helped her find her purpose. Luz is her purpose. Every time Luz disagreed with Eda, she got herself into trouble. But every time like that, Eda understood Luz more and more. Luz's desire to live in the Isles and go on adventure had beaten minor disagreements with her new mom. Or Willow, who got so much more confident ever since Luz been around. Gus started getting the respect he deserves by hanging with Luz.

And finally let's get to the one that Luz's enemy that she can't get through, Belos. I'm going to repeat this once again, redemption and changes must come from both side. No matter how much convincing and talking, it wouldn't work if the other side aren't desire to change. Belos didn't see where he did wrong, nor was he wanting to change either. No more comparing The Owl House with Steven Universe or any other cartoons or I'll block you on sight. I do find it funny that the end of each season was Luz tricking Belos into disadvantage. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me thrice, just skill issue at that point.

Luz Noceda is a great protagonist. Hero of the Isles. One with a hella cool Titan form, 2 moms, 1 girlfriend, and finally found herself where she belongs and being understood. I'll miss her a lot, 15 minutes of her Titan form is precious.

[david-talks-sw]

BONUS stuff from the AOTC screenplay...

1. Yoda probing the Dark Side.

In an earlier draft of the Attack of the Clones screenplay, Scene 51 (which I've already talked about here) ends with this comment by Mace, where he explains what Yoda is doing up in his quarters, followed up by Scene 52, showing Yoda meditating:

And it turns out, this is actually a mini plot point in this draft!

Since Qui-Gon's death, the Jedi are actually on the lookout for the remaining Sith Lord, waiting to sense even a trace of him... but then this happens.

And, like, nobody saw it coming! What the hell!

So that leads to this other cut scene (originally set right after Obi-Wan tells Anakin that Padmé "was happy to see us"), Scene 12, which features an evening conversation between Mace Windu and Yoda.

When Yoda says "the dark side of the Force clouds everything", that's not just an expression to say 'he doesn't know'.

The Dark Side has tainted everything around the Jedi, and THAT'S why the Sith have an advantage. Because they're used to it. They were 'born in the dark, molded by it'.

As a result... in this situation, they're the only ones who can foresee the possibilities of the future, while the Jedi are pretty much walking blind, in a fog.

It's not just that the Sith Lord is a master politician and the Jedi are politically inept. It's that, right now, he's the only one who can truly see the future and roll with it, while the only thing the Jedi can do is go forward, have their guard up and hope for the best.

Which a concept explored in the non-canon comic Sithisis from Star Wars: Visionaries (which, if I recall, was created by Derek Thompson after his regular interactions with George Lucas and a 45-minute interview with Ian McDiarmid)!

2. "Sifo-Dyas", aka Sidious

Okay, so some of y'all probably already knew this tidbit. I did, but didn't know it was in this draft of the script so it was a fun surprise:

Sifo-Dyas was originally a pseudonym used by Darth Sidious.

Throughout the script, his name is spelled "Sido-Dyas" (which sounds a lot more like "Sidious").

And when it comes to the mysterious Sido-Dyas, the Jedi talk about him like they've never heard of him before and full-on say he's an imposter.

At some point, there ended up being a typo in the scene where Obi-Wan talks to Lama Su, and the word was mispelled "Sifo-Dyas" and eventually Lucas decided to make him a different character.

Also the Tyranus who hired Jango Fett is referred to as "Darth Tyranus", in this draft, which I guess was changed because it was gonna be to obvious.

But it does indicate that after TPM, they concluded that Darth Maul was the Master, not the Apprentice.

3. Are Yoda and Padmé friends...?

Okay so there's this moment here:

Yoda taps Padmé with his cane!

Thus CONFIRMING that poking/tapping/hitting people with his cane is Yoda's love language!

Seconds later, there's also this line where Yoda tells Padmé to reign the selflessness and politics back and accept their help:

First off, I'm just picturing Padmé just casually kneeling so she can be at Yoda-height and I'm dying!

But also, like... he calls her "Padmé". They're on a first-name basis!

To me, that's gotta be an implication that in the 10 years between TPM and AOTC... I dunno, Padmé visited the Temple while Anakin was off-planet or just met Yoda at a meeting, and now they've formed a bond and they're pals.

If that's the case, then their Ilum mission in Clone Wars (2003) takes a whole new aspect.

And if we're rolling with this idea... how much of Padmé did Yoda see in Luke?? None? Some?

I think it's a case of when Luke is screwing up royally "he's just like Anakin ffs" and then the few times he's actually listening "nice to see you inherited some of your mother's sense!"

Bear in mind, these bits of dialog never made it on the screen but they did make it to the "final" version of the screenplay published in The Art of Attack of the Clones. So if I had to guess the reason for deletion, it was probably for pacing purposes.

Bonus:

Yoda introducing the younglings in his care is such an adorable thing.

Just in general, this scene is great. George Lucas had this to say in the AOTC commentary track:

"This is a chance for me to play with that more mischievous side of his character and get away from the 'official, serious Yoda' that ends up [...] on the Jedi Council, where he really isn't allowed to be as fun and tease people. In this environment with the kids, he's able to lighten up a little bit, which I really wanted to do for his character. It's much more what his character is in the other movies, especially in Empire Strikes Back."

But also... like Yoda is hyping up the younglings! Is that a thing?

Did Dooku & Yoda have competitions and introduce their respective clans like hype men? I'm picturing a scene where Yoda's like:

Yoda: "To a competition, the mighty Bear Clan challenges the Thranta Clan!" Bear Clan younglings: "GROOAAAAH!"

And Dooku is like:

Dooku: "The gallant Thranta Clan is ready to clean the floors with the Bear Clan whenever you want!" Thranta Clan younglings: *POSE MAJESTICALLY*

Glorious...

[magicshopaholic]

hey, do you read fic at all? i was wondering if you had any recs, i feel like i don't see you interact with fic a lot on here! i love your stories, so wondered what are your favorite authors too :]

Hello! The short answer to this is yes, but it comes with the caveat that I haven’t read much lately, primarily because I have no time but also because now that my characters are getting more and more fleshed out with every fic, reading other fanfic feels like my members are cheating on their OCs 😕 (I read this really good Namjoon fic where he met the reader at a party, and spent a whole week imagining Namjoon cheating on Kaya with that Y/N and it kind of killed me)

Having said that, I still do read fics when I can, definitely those that don’t interfere in my head with my OCs. I’m joining collabs and book clubs as much as I can so that I read more; but in the meantime I’d love to recommend some of my favourite fics and authors to you and any other readers:

(Please read the warnings on each fic before proceeding)

1. Poetry of the Stars by @jjiimin: This is the best fic I have read my entire life (barring one legendary series in the HP fandom - iykyk) and I honestly have nothing else to say about it. Riley has unfortunately deactivated her Tumblr account but I’m so glad I got to tell her how incredible her story was before she did so, so this is my number one. It’s 25K+ words iirc and was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and I just read it all in one go because I couldn’t stop.

(Also a favourite is Irresistible by the same author but I unfortunately don’t have a link to it)

2. @sahmfanficbts: There’s no fic mentioned here because I recommend Sam’s entire masterlist. She’s one of my all time favourite authors in the fandom and I have read and will read every single BTS fic she ever posts. Every fic is so immersive and every character is so deeply developed that they just stay with me and I find myself thinking about them at random times. Just beautiful, fantastic writing.

3. The Rich Man’s Crochet Club series by @kpopfanfictrash: Funny, quippy dialogue is my absolute favourite thing and this series has some of the best combination of humour and heart. Shanna’s works are pretty popular so you may have already checked this one out but I’m gonna recommend it anyway. (I remember coming on anon to gush about it because I was shy af, but I absolutely loved it, Shanna :))

4. Four Seven Eight by @jiminrings: This is the one I’ve read most recently and I’ve had it in my drafts since then so that I don’t forget to write a review because it deserves a great one. So here’s my apology to Hannah for taking so long to do it 🤓 but this is an amazing series, full of angst and hope and has my recommendation for sure.

5. For The Crown by @chimknj: I don’t read mxm fics, particularly mxm smut, but there was no way on earth I was going to pass on this one. Gina and I share an obsession with A Song of Ice and Fire (and I mean OBSESSION - we talk about it 24x7) and the premise of this fic was so compelling and so exciting to discuss that the only thing better than that was actually reading it. The way Gina has written this - I was transported to Westeros instantly. Everything is subtle and nuanced and I found myself connecting with every single character (also Kingsguard!Namjoon was not something I knew I needed). Idk if she’s planning on writing future parts but if she is… fuck, I’m so excited I can’t even talk about it.

6. A Silent Heart Still Beats by @akinnie75: This is another fic I have in my drafts because its review deserves my entire attention. It deals with some difficult topics but is so sad yet hopeful. The OC is such a beautiful character inside and out and this doesn’t usually happen to me with fics, but she actually changed my life and taught me how to rise above, be compassionate and forgive. I won’t give away anymore but this is just a gorgeous, gorgeous fic.

7. Just Practice by @lamourche: I can’t BELIEVE I’ve finally found this fic again!!! I read it once and then lost it (now I realise it’s because the author has seemingly removed their masterlist) but I’d commented on it from my main blog. It is one of my favourite fics of all time: it reads like a college indie movie or like a Sally Rooney novel. I was crying at the end but I couldn’t even put my finger on what it was which just meant that it was the entire vibe of the story rather than a specific scene. It breaks my heart that I’ll never get to read this again but the author has all my appreciation and gratitude for writing it.

These are some recs off the top of my head that have stayed with me and I’ll probably add to this if I think of more. A huge thank you to all these authors for their wonderful work - and thanks to you too, anon, for the question. It felt great to go back to old fics and give a shout out to such talented writers <3

[drunktuesdays]

hello i have a followup q wrt your tags this fine fingers-in-his-mouth friday: what can u tell me abt this undernegotiated accidental bdsm fic

unfortunately if i tell you too much, i'll never finish it because that's what kind of person i am but the BASIC premise is that it's set before they started living together, and dustin finds out that jim sometime hooks up with dudes on grindr. he gets mad about it, and they end up having a weirdly charged fight that ends with dustin putting jim on his knees and fucking his face. and it's like, the hottest thing that's ever happened to jim, and he feels CRAZY about it but dustin keeps acting normal and regular the next time they hang out, like he didn't come all over jim's face and then make him lick the mess off dustin's fingers.

here's an excerpt from the second time :) this is OBVIOUSLY first draft level :)

It was normal. Jim had sat like this on Dustin’s couch a bunch of times after shows, sometimes with a room full of people Dustin had invited back, sometimes just the two of them, half-drunk and arguing about absolutely nothing that mattered. It was fine. 

He shifted on the couch, dragging his ankle up under him. Nothing to it.

Dustin cut a sideways look at him. “If you wanna suck my dick again, you’re gonna have to ask.”

Jim’s face immediately heated up. “What the fuck.”

Dustin shrugged, grinned at him. “Aww, don’t get all pissy.”

“I’m not pissy—you’re deranged if you think I’m gonna ask. For that.”

“Okay,” Dustin said mildly. “So don’t.” He picked up the remote, changed the channel back to ESPN, even though the only thing on was a replay of a college basketball game from a few years ago. Jim stared at it until his eyes burned and he had to blink furiously. Next to him, Dustin laughed loudly (at something, nothing, who knew) and threw his arm over the back of the couch, his fingers almost but not quite grazing Jim’s shoulders. His other hand was tapping aimlessly on the side of his glass of whiskey. Jim had a drink too, but he’d barely touched it, and the ice was melting; the condensation was probably fucking up the wood of Dustin’s coffee table. 

He didn’t care. He was thinking about it again. He’d known what Dustin’s dick looked like from years of the not-looking kind of looking you did in locker rooms. He’d never seen it hard, but now, of course, he had. He wanted to see it again. He wanted to— 

His face burned. “You get laid a lot by telling people to beg for it?” he said, aiming for a dry tone and missing the mark. He sounded like what he was—annoyed and frustrated. 

“I didn’t say beg,” Dustin said, muting the tv. “I’m not like, a monster.”

“You said—” 

“I said ask me,” Dustin said. Then, “C’mere.”

“What?” Jim said, stalling for time. Dustin lifted the arm that was draped over the back of the couch and grabbed the collar of his shirt, tugging. Reluctantly, slowly, Jim inched forward until Dustin got a good grip on his arm and pulled him over his lap and kissed him.

They hadn’t, the other night. Jim hadn’t thought he’d even wanted to. Kissing Dustin should have been funny, goofy, too much to take seriously. It wasn’t. It was nice. Dustin kissed like he was nice, which he wasn’t, really. Jim wasn’t nice either, which was why they got along. But Dustin—

He kissed Jim like he had all the time in the world to do it. Like he didn’t want to be doing anything else. 

It was too much. Jim broke away for air, already feeling fizzy inside, indescribably worked up, and if Dustin kept kissing him like that, well. 

“Let me,” Jim said, low. He started wiggling off Dustin’s lap, down towards the floor.

Dustin took him by the hips, trapping him. “Let you what.”

“You know,” Jim said, and refused to look at him, staring over Dustin’s shoulder instead. 

“Yeah,” Dustin said. “But I want you to say it.” There was a thumbtack pushed into the wall in the corner, holding up nothing. Jim stared at it grimly, and wished he could murder Dustin with his mind. 

“Let me suck you,” he said, finally, burning up. Dustin kissed him again sweetly, like a reward. Jim took it for another moment, then shoved him back. Then, before he lost his nerve, he got off Dustin’s lap and squirmed between his knees. 

Dustin lifted his hips easily, letting Jim tug his shorts down and off. He was hard already, flushed red and curved just slightly. Jim stared at it, and then all of a sudden felt stuck. He wanted it. It was just—What was he doing? What did he think he was doing? What the fuck was his plan?

“You got this, tiger,” Dustin said, breaking the spell. He was so fucking stupid that when Jim glared at him, he just laughed and touched Jim’s face. It was moronic, Jim thought but also, it was just fucking Dustin, and that suddenly seemed less—overwhelming. When Dustin curled a heavy hand around Jim’s neck, guiding him down, Jim let him and opened his mouth. 

They went slower, this time. Not by Jim’s choice—he liked doing it fast, making it nasty. Dustin didn’t let him, kept slowing him down. Eventually, he stopped letting Jim set the pace at all, and held Jim’s head steady as he rocked steadily in and out. He had Jim on either side of his face, curling his palms over Jim’s ears, so Jim couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t see anything, couldn’t focus on anything except the slow slide of Dustin’s cock on his tongue. The pace was making him feel fuzzy, drugged. He was barely holding himself up, almost entirely limp in Dustin’s grasp. 

“Yeah,” Dustin said, “just like that. Just like that, baby,” and then tightening his grip, he said “a little more,” and Jim sucked furiously, fucking his tongue agaist the underside of Dustin’s dick. Then Dustin was holding him down, gasping as he shot off so deep down Jim’s throat, Jim could barely taste it. He couldn’t breathe but he didn’t care, he wasn’t fighting it. 

Then Dustin released him and Jim panicked for no real reason he could figure out. “No, Dust—”

“I got you,” Dustin hushed him, and was hauling him back up onto his lap, kissing him—nice again. He didn’t have the energy to fight about it, because Dustin was also worming a hand into his jeans, stroking him, telling him—stuff. That he’d done good. That he was good at it, that he’d made Dustin come. Which Jim knew, obviously, because he could still taste the spunk in his mouth. But he shuddered anyways, buried his face in Dustin’s neck and let Dustin make him come, messy and hot between them. “Good,” Dustin said, cupping his neck, worrying his thumb against Jim’s damp hairline. “Real good.”

[nicegaai]

Ch 8: 

I get so nervous every time I start — did I ever tell y’all I got a killer migraine after I started this reread and it lasted like 4 days? there’s no need for that level of stress but here I am all tensed up again. whateverrrrrr. exposure therapy. 

(Paragraph like 3) YUUUUP I already want to go in and tweak the dialogue. this is not quite it. Im itchy im itching to do it but I won’t yet. editing is a trap that will stop me from moving forward…

WHAT. Holy fucking jjjjhjjjhh you would not believe the sitcom level of reaction I just had to realizing I left in actual genuine Editors Notes. This is my worst offense by far this is the worst thing thats ever happened to me in my whole life (lie) I can’t go on  … Im gonna take a break

(2 and a half months later)

Hiiiiiii…where did I leave off… jk im starting over

Chapter 8 the final published chapter huhhh! I don’t remember what kind of cliffhanger I left u guys on but im looking forward to finding out

Wowow I like the beginning dialogue again!!! this is cute and I love them I love dennor when im doing it the way I like them!!!!!!!!!! Thank god im back on my meds ive been so neurotic over little things for like years and for what… I luv my story, I don’t need 2 be afraid…

Llmaoooooo im genuinely enjoying this reread how is that possible!!! This is fun im having fun!

Wtffff Im feeling like a genius for coming up with this and not like I need to kms for once. Brand new emotions for me. Chat did you know life can be beautiful?

LSKDAJKLSLDK I FOUND AN AUTHORS NOTE IS THIS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT 2.5 MONTHS AGO? That I almost cried over? I laughed at my own bad joke but it is NOT that serious … I do want to take it out later. but girllll

I wonder if stabilizing emotionally will ruin the quality of my writing x_x oh well!

I DON THAVE A LOT OF COMMENTARY THIS CHAPTER BCZ I DONT REMEMBER WRITING MOST OF THIS TBH AND IM GETTING SUCKED IN  BY THE PLOT WTF WTF. Again this is a new experience for me ive been so miserable rereading this up til now

Went “NOOOOOOOOOO” out loud when I realized I established a specific timeline. Its already June 15th???????? Fuck me man I was gonna space this out more than that . it was supposed to be like June 3rd at best, in my head …

Changed my mind—The quality of writing is guaranteed to go up if im not dry heaving at the thought of rereading my own drafts. It’s going to be FINE !!!!!!!! Its going to get better!! I may even be able to respond to all the nice comments soon … Ive been scared of ao3 comments I can’t explain why I don’t know myself

UGH THE WRITING IS GETTING CHOPPYYY this could have been avoided surely but it is too late now. I can sense I struggled with beginning the scene and wrote very Point A To Point B just to skip around to the parts I wanted to write. I mean it functions.. but not well.  Ick

Okay... more author’s notes. I messed up stylistically when I decided to leave in so many parentheses bc then I lost the authors notes in the mix. Nasty. Ech. Im annoyed

OH. THAT REALLY WAS A CLIFHFANGER HUH. NO WONDER PPL KEEP ASKING IF IM COMING BACK. OH H H H. IM SO SORRY I SHOULD BE JAILED FOR THIS X_______X

I HAVE THE NEXT SEVERAL CHAPTERS PLOTTED OUT MORE OR LESS AND THE REST OF THE STORY'S EVENTS ARE ON PAPER I PROMIS E I AM TRYING I WILL NEVER GIVE UP

kind of insane ive left u guys off on that for like 6 months. bc ive been obsessed with the events of the next few chapters just like turning them over in my head,.. . and no one has even seen them yet. this needs to be fixed

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[btsxmalereaders]

☆ Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you!

♡ pairing — bang chan x male reader

> genre — fluff | f2l

> word count — 4.3k I don't know how this happened

> summary — chan realises he likes you by not being able to use pickup lines on you

> a/n — i saw a tiktok where chan says he's gonna use a pickup line on felix and my love-deprived self ended up writing this lol i hope you all like it

| 05282021

| Please keep making more whosfan accounts and keep streaming WOLFGANG on the correct platforms!

"Hey, how you doin'?" Chan casually says as he enters the kitchen, trying not to grin and start giggling right away. He even places his hands over the table and tilts his head a little in an attempt to look confident. Felix takes his attention away from the food he is cooking and turns on his feet to look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Good?" He answers with an air of suspicion. "Why?"

Chan finally lets out a small giggle, "Oh nothing, I was just thinking that... I am not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together."

And Felix thinks it's a creative pickup line, funny even, but what ends up making him laugh is the way his best friend bends over to start laughing louder and the way his cheeks turn reddish at the embarrassment he's probably feeling.

"That was a good one, I must say," He chuckles. "Not as great as the Optimus Fine one, though. Even if it made you laugh for ten minutes after you said it."

And Chan can only laugh harder at the remembrance, placing his hands over his slightly aching abdomen and gasp for air when he can't handle it anymore. Felix giggles as well and denies with his head, going back to stir what's on the pot.

"Stays keep getting creative when it comes to flirting with you," He speaks again as the laughter finally dies down. "They probably think you might use it on someone you like, and you're here almost crying because you use them on us."

Chan hums, "Well, I don't really like anyone right now."

Felix turns off the stove and makes a -dramatic- pause, turning again to face Chan as he gets closer and squints his eyes. "I don't believe it."

"What?" Chan laughs. "Why would I lie?"

"I don't know, but I don't buy it. Maybe it's the love songs you have as drafts in your laptop."

"Ah, that doesn't mean I'm in love," He explains and takes a seat in front of him, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "That's why they're still drafts, though. They don't convey the feeling of being in love because I am not in love, you know?"

"Good point, but it still doesn't convince me."

"Why?" He asks again with a chuckle, a little embarrassed by the sudden interest in his - nonexistent - love life. "You know our activities barely give us time for ourselves, so it's almost impossible to have a relationship with someone. At least a formal one."

"You can still like someone and not be with them." Felix shrugs. "So spill it. Who is it?"

And Chan knows he's just messing around with him, but he can't help but feel flustered. "No one! I think so." He almost says it in a whisper; however, Felix doesn't comment on it.

"I still want to listen to those drafts," He stands up and smiles. "Why don't you show me?"

This was not the way Chan expected the conversation to go, so he hesitates a bit about his friend's request. Well, it wasn't unusual anyway, at least Changbin had heard a couple and also helped in the composition of the songs, so having someone else hear them wouldn't hurt. He might even listen to ideas on his part to improve them.

"Okay, I can do that. Next week Y/N will come to the studio and work on something, why don't you pop-up at some point and I can show you?"

Felix nods, "Sounds good! Y/N asked for help for his new album?"

"Yeah, he wants me to listen to some tracks he has been working on." He casually comments, taking his phone from his pocket and leading his attention to the device, so now Felix can't see the slight blush on his cheeks.

"Hm, I haven't seen him in a while. Why hasn't he come to the dorm lately? We should invite him."

"He has been busy with his album, that's why. If you think I leave late from the studio, that's nothing compared to him, he truly spends an ungodly amount of time there."

"So you see him often?" Felix asks with sudden interest, now being aware of how Chan's ears are tinted pink.

"You could say that, yeah. He also spends time on my studio whenever he has the chance. And vice-versa." He shrugs, not finding it odd. You two were really good friends, so it was a normal thing for you to do. "Why?"

"Nothing, I was just curious." He mischievously laughs. "So, next week, you said?"

After a quick glance at the time on your phone, you decide to stand up and stretch your body. It's been a long time since you started working, and you still have a lot to do; and on top of it all, the progress you've made tonight doesn't totally convince you, and that just meant you'd be spending more time in the studio.

As you take your phone again to read your notes, a notification pops up on the top. You weren't supposed to meet up with Chan until later, but in the new message you just received, he tells you that he's free from working on his stuff and you could go earlier if you wanted.

You decide to go; after all, it was nearly impossible for you to concentrate again, and you truly needed to know what does he think about the tracks you sent him a few days ago to finally make an advance. So you grab your laptop after making sure you've saved the changes and the cup of half-drunk coffee, walking out to the long hall and taking the elevator to an upper floor.

The soles of your shoes are dragged across the floor all the way to the studio's door, where you softly knock a couple of times before remembering you already know the password to enter. Your fingers press the buttons, entering code you know by heart at this point, and the door quickly unlocks, making Chan to look your way and greet you with a smile.

"Hey, how have you been?" He sweetly says, seeing you entering the room and placing your belongings on top of the big desk in front of you and taking a seat on the couch behind him.

"Busy. And tired." You murmur and let out a sigh. Chan immediately plays a song at a low volume and takes seat next to you.

"You're still struggling with the track you told me about?"

You nod as an answer and pout, "I am desperate. It's like, no matter how many times I rewrite the lyrics or change the beats, it still doesn't convince me at all and I hate it."

"I get it," He sighs. "But don't worry about it, I'm here to help you out."

And Chan isn't someone who breaks his promises, so the following hours are spent listening to your music, carefully reading everything you've written so far, listening to your ideas and giving you advice.

In between work, he tells you every other joke to make you laugh and feel at least a bit less stressed; and it works wonderfully since he has a long list of dad jokes that take you off guard, plus his laughter is contagious, so not laughing with him is impossible.

It's no surprise that his advice and opinions are so accurate to the point of clearing your mind and helping you out of your creative block. Chan has always been hard-working and so good with words that every time you engage him in conversations, you feel more relaxed and less burdened. No matter what situation you had a problem with, Chan would always help you find the best solution for it. Maybe that's why you admire him so much, maybe it was one of the many reasons why you didn't hesitate for a second to go to him and find security in his presence and words... Maybe it was one of the thousands of reasons why you had romantic feelings towards him...

"Is it better now?" His voice takes you out of your thoughts. He's sweetly smiling at you; he probably realized you got lost on the way his lips were moving as he told you his thoughts on the recent draft of your song.

"Yeah, yes, honestly, you've helped me so much. I don't know what I'd do without you." You smile and go for a quick hug, taking the opportunity to ruffle his hair. Your fingers sliding between his soft and messy curls and making him fondly smile in the process. "You're my hero. I mean it."

Chan chuckles and can't keep his eyes off you as you type something on your laptop and hum. He recalls the conversation he had last week with Felix, and that ambiguous feeling settling on his chest makes him wonder if, after all, his friend was right. He doesn't remember when was the last time he felt the urge to hold someone in between his arms and dearly appreciate, and he wants to know why he smiles and feels his stomach tickling when he sees you.

Maybe it's because you spend a lot of time with him, a voice inside his head says. But he doesn't feel this way with any other friend.

Maybe it's because you have known him for a long time and you just appreciate him a lot, the voice tries again. Maybe. He finally gives in at the last thought. He'd have to figure it out.

His phone buzzes inside the pocket of his jeans and he takes it, knowing for sure it's a message from Felix.

"Felix is arriving in a few minutes." He murmurs, making you take your eyes off the screen. "He wants to listen to some songs I have, is that okay?"

"Of course, it's your studio, silly." You giggle. "I am almost done with this, so if you're gonna be busy I can go back to m-"

"You can stay, if you want to." He quickly adds. "Plus, he says he wants to see you, you know... He misses you." Chan laughs. He wasn't lying, but that wasn't the only reason he wanted you to stay.

"Okay! Sure, I haven't heard from him in a while, either." You nod and keep making changes on the file you have open.

Just as he said, Felix enters the room just a few minutes later, smiling brightly and immediately running to give you a big hug once he sees you.

Soon, the room was filled with laughter and long conversations to catch up on everything around your lives. Felix tells you about the new pastries he baked last week and that he was waiting for you to come around and bake with him, the new video game Jeongin bought and has been playing with Hyunjin, the new songs Changbin and Jisung have been working on and how Seungmin was learning to play piano, playing songs at night for everyone at the dorm.

"And you know? Chan hyung has gotten better at flirting." He laughs as the latter gives him a threatening glare. "He can't stop saying pickup lines whenever he has the chance."

"Ah, really?" You chortle. "You haven't said one in all the time we've been here."

"Well, we've been working, and I've told you many other jokes... Besides, it's not like I come up with them out of nowhere."

"Yes, you do!" Felix says. "You do that all the time, what are you talking about?"

You glance at Chan, who's currently blushing and at the loss of words. Felix, on the other hand, seems to be happy to see what he just provoked. And he'd definitely enjoy every part of it.

"I want to hear one! C'mooon!" You laugh. "Please?"

Chan rolls his eyes and tries to look confident as he would normally do. He clears his throat and thinks of a good pickup line he hasn't used yet.

"Alright," He says and smiles, he even thinks it's gonna start laughing before even opening his mouth, but the very moment he looks into your eyes, it's like he forgot every single word on his vocabulary. "Uhm, are you, no. Did you-? Wait! I forgot what I was gonna say-"

Felix can't help but burst into laughter, and you only look at him, as if you couldn't believe it. Was he nervous or was it because of the fact that Felix was in the same room? Would it have been any different if he weren't there?

You end up laughing at Felix's loud laughter, as well as seeing Chan blushing up to his ears and hiding his face behind his hands, probably also in an attempt to cover the huge grin he now has.

"Wow, that was an epic failure. And I thought you were the biggest flirt on earth." Felix teases him, to which Chan ends up groaning.

He continues talking about other stuff while Chan stops feeling embarrassed, even though he's not able to look in your eyes for the entire time until you have to go back to work.

You close your laptop and stand up, throwing the now empty cup of coffee on the trash bin. After thanking Chan for his help and promising Felix you'd drop by their dorm soon, you walk out of the studio with a smile and feeling your heart beating fast. There was no way you didn't have feelings for him.

"Oh my god, so I was right!" Felix says a few seconds after you left. Chan's first instinct is to cover his face again. "Look who got nervous so suddenly."

"Stop, I- I don't even want to talk about it." He murmurs, feeling flustered and avoiding Felix's gaze. He types something on his laptop and presses the play button, hoping that this way, his friend would forget about what just happened and could focus solely on the music.

And Felix doesn't talk about it anymore. The next few minutes are set by the music coming out of the speakers; the room filling with Chan's voice, singing the love songs that probably no one else would listen to. Felix seems to be concentrating on the lyrics, but Chan's thoughts are solely about you. As he listens to the songs, he is aware of how his skin bristles every time his hands accidentally touch you, the times when your eyes connect with his and you give him smiles every time it happens, all those times when his heart would race when he hugged you.... It's as if all those songs that professed a love he said he didn't feel, started to make sense.

He feels overwhelmed. Maybe if he was aware of it before, maybe if he listened to his heart instead of his head, this wouldn't be a big revelation to him.

Chan pauses the music, and before Felix can ask what's going on, he speaks up: "Why- why did I do that?"

"Did... what, exactly?" Felix asks, confused.

"The pickup line thing!" He blurts out. "I mean, I do that all the time, right? Why did I just forget how to even talk?"

Felix giggles, "Well, have you considered it's because when you use those pickup lines on us you just do it for laughing? To joke around with us, and with Y/N it's because... I don't know, you have feelings for him and it gets real? Like you're flirting with him."

Makes sense, he thinks. He remains in silence for a moment, processing everything that just happened and finally connecting the dots.

"Wait, you just had your epiphany?" Felix jokes. "It took you too, too long."

"I can barely fall asleep, how was I supposed to know I was falling in love?"

"Fair enough." He says, comprehensive. "Are you telling him?"

"Should I?" Chan's eyes sparkle, but he still feels confused. Should he even try? It's been so long since he last felt this way about someone, and given the circumstances of his life as an idol, he felt more reluctant to take the next step. Even more, considering he had just taken the first one by accepting his feelings a few minutes ago.

"I was right all this time by you being in love," He says. "And I am also sure that it's mutual. I've seen you two for a while, you know? I am surprised you didn't come the realization way earlier than this."

Chan giggles. "Alright, I get it."

"But it's up to you now, I guess. All I know is that you deserve to be happy, and you deserve good things... And Y/N is a great person. You should give yourself an opportunity on love."

Chan feels chills as he hears those words. Tonight's even have been too much for him to process, so he'll think deeply about it later.

"Okay," He nods. "Thanks, Lix. You've been really helpful."

"I know, what would you do without me?" Felix laughs. "Now let's keep listening to the songs, I am loving all of them."

Fortunately, the help Chan gave you really made it possible for you to finish the songs in no time. You are just now walking out of a meeting with your managers and the people in charge of the release of the album to set the final details, and you quickly send a message to Chan to let him know the news.

In the meantime, you drop by your studio to clean up a little and maybe write down some ideas for new songs that have been in your mind for a while. After a few minutes, you hear a knock on the door, snapping you out of your thoughts and then feeling confused. You weren't expecting anyone to come. So you slowly open the door, and a smile spreads across your face the moment you realize it's Chan.

"Oh, hi!" You greet him with a hug, immediately letting him in afterwards. He shyly gets inside, taking a seat on a chair and placing a bag on the small table behind him. "What brings you here? I thought you were still busy with you guys upcoming album."

"It's okay, Changbin is working on his stuff now at the studio, so I took the chance to come here and celebrate with you!" He grins. "Congratulations on making your first self-produced album!"

He starts clapping, making you smile; he truly was the sweetest person you've ever met.

As soon as he read your message he went to the nearby cafeteria and bought your favorite drink and pastries, claiming that it was a special occasion and should be celebrated.

"For all your hard work and the success of this album!" He makes a toast as he raises his cup of tea.

Soon you find yourselves immersed in a long conversation about everything that went into creating this album; from when you had the first idea for the concept, to those sleepless nights when he helped you without hesitation. Chan was definitely an essential part of this whole process, so to be celebrating with him right now felt right. It was how it should be.

"You know," Chan clears his throat as another song starts playing. "These past days I've had this thought in my head, and after talking it out with Felix... I am certain about it. And I want to tell you about it. I know I have to."

You frown, feeling curiosity, especially since his semblance has changed to be a bit more serious. He still has a small smile that gives you some kind of tranquility, but another part of you can't help but feel nervous as he gets a little bit closer.

"Of course, what is it?"

"So, uhm" He starts. "Some weeks ago, when Felix came to the studio and we were talking with you... Well, the reason he came was because he wanted to listen to some love songs I've worked on. And, after listening to all of them I figured out why I didn’t like them. I was sure I wasn't in love. That's why, to me, they all sounded plain and didn’t convey the feeling of love... But then..."

He makes a pause, catching his breath as he feels more and more nervous. He knows for sure his ears and cheeks are red right now, and it's impossible that you haven't noticed it. His hands slightly shake behind the table, anxiously looking for yours, but refraining from doing it because he doesn't know how this was going to end. You don't want to interrupt him, so you give him his time to clear his head and talk again.

"While listening to those songs, the only thought I had in mind was you." He finally confesses, with his gaze now fixed on his lap. "I guess that for a while I didn’t realise that I started to, uhm, catch feelings for you. And, it's okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I just really wanted to let you know because the thought has been on my mind for so long and I needed to let it out."

For a moment, the only thing that can be heard in the room is your voice coming from the speakers along with a sigh from Chan, who still didn’t dare to look up and face you.

"So... what you're saying is..." You speak up, feeling incredibly shy, trying to process the words addressed to you.

"What I am trying to say is that I am in love with you."

And you swear you could start screaming to the top of your lungs right now, but you try your very best to stay calm and finally grab Chan's hands. With that, he looks at you again.

"Channie," You softly say, looking at him in his precious eyes and dearly smiling. You don't even know where to begin, but a voice inside you begs for you to give him a hug. So you open your arms and embrace him tightly, feeling instant comfort and love. "I am so glad you feel this way too. I love you too."

Chan sighs in relief, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you closer; his nose pressed against the crook of your neck and closes his eyes, melting between your arms and enjoying every single second of that gesture.

"Wait a minute," You say out of nowhere, so he separates a bit from you and tilts his head. "That's why you couldn't even say a sentence when you tried to say a pickup line?"

You laugh when his expression changes to look ashamed, his lips frowned in a pout and his gaze avoiding your eyes again.

"Try again, I'm sure you're good at this." And Chan's head only comes up with the dozens of lines he has read, but seeing you smiling right in front of him and your arms over his shoulders, he can only think how lucky he is. He can't possibly say anything to you. "Alright, let me try instead."

You hum and recall all the pickup lines you've read and have been told before, "Hm, can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll return it."

And you expected Chan to start laughing out loud, instead he starts blushing again and giggling, covering his face as he feels nervous.

"C'mon! Seriously?" You laugh and wait for him to stop being shy.

"You make me nervous, give me time." He excuses himself and laughs some more. "That was a good one, and you know what? You can borrow all the kisses you want, as long as you keep your word and return them."

"See? That's what I'm talking about!"

Chan fondly smiles at you, placing his hand on your head to pet your hair for a moment. You close your eyes as he does it, feeling his soft touch traveling all the way down to your chin. He rests his thumb on your cheek and after a few seconds you decide to open your eyes.

"Can I?" He murmurs as his gaze shifts from your eyes to your lips.

"You don't even have to ask."

And just as you give him permission, he breaks the distance between you two. He starts carefully, placing his lips against yours in a tender, chaste way, barely there pressure that makes you exhale through your nose as if you had been holding your breath all along. One of his hands still holds you by the waist, so he takes the opportunity to slide it to your lower back, carefully holding you and sending you shivers to your entire body.

You lean forward barely a few millimeters, but it's enough to feel more pressure over your lips. Chan angles his head and traps your bottom lip, tongue trying to dart out of his mouth to taste more of the sweetness of yours. He, however, contains himself and smiles in between the kiss, instead. He was probably gonna be the death of you.

The deep kiss loses intensity as a minute passes by, so you two end up giving smaller kisses and share smiles, your noses constantly touching in skimo kisses. And you think it's perfect; it's way better than what you one day imagined.

Chan can't miss the chance to make you sit on his lap, so now your head rests over his chest. Your fingers fidgeting the hem of his hoodie and shyly longing to intertwine your hands.

"Hey, Y/N?" He grabs your attention and smiles. "Are you a parking ticket?"

You raise an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Because you've got fine written all over you." He ends up with a muffled laughter.

"Oh no, what did I just get myself into?" You joke around, this time finally making him burst into a louder laughter. "You just declared war on me about pickup lines, you know?"

"Oh, so you got some lines, too? Can't wait to hear all of them, then."

And for the rest of the day you let yourself be held in between the arms of the person you loved the most. Later you'd find the way to flirt with him and make him feel flustered when he least expects it.

[nevertheless-moving]

INFODUMP AU continued

(Star Wars AU #22)

Possible Continuations from INFODUMP. I headcanon that exchange taking place about a year before episode II and episode IV

A) Anakin Force Shenanigans

Anakin walks up: “master- who’s this guy?

“You can SEE him/me?”

Obi-Wan urgently cry/yelling at Anakin to either wear a condom with Padme or at least take her to a healer if you’re worried about her pregnancy (seriously healer BEFORE evil sith wtf)

(its been a number of years for Ben so he’s pretty much puzzled out the ‘doing this for padme’ bit)

just before obi-wan fades out anakin panics because ben hasn’t told him how he gets together with padme

yanks him into this timeline and now Old Ben has to deal with Obi-Wan and Anakin freaking out over all the info he just vomited at them AND everything else

B) Brush Off

Obi-Wan practices some good old fashioned repression to mostly convince himself it was all a weird dream

yoda always says in motion, the future is anyway

he mostly puts it out of his head until a year later when Anakin VERY obliquely references having dreams of his mother

“...what kind of dreams, exactly?”

end-up rescuing Shmi shortly after her capture, Obi-Wan’s there to make sure Anakin doesn’t go off the deep end

Council is a little disapproving of their side mission because now Anakin is even more attached/devoted Obi-Wan 

Obi-Wan is a LITTLE freaked out but Shmi being in danger isn’t exactly a hard prediction to make considering they left her on Tatooine but...

almost immediately after they get specially requested to protect Senator Amidala.

things proceed like canon and when Dex says the dart is from Kamino, Obi-Wan has a little panic attack attack

the whole trip to Kamino he’s just thinking pleasenoclonearmy  pleasenoclonearmy  pleasenoawFUCK THAT’S A CLONE ARMY

good news here is when he’s bullshitting his way through the meeting/ inspection he very confidently brings up removing the control chips

at first there’s some hemming and hawing ‘oh you mean the inhibitor chips, are you sure you want them removed we’ve already installed them’

“I DEMAND they be removed- I- can i speak to your manger? Do I need to take my business elsewhere??”

Nala Se is very reluctant, “I was ensured by certain high level parties that the chips were intended to be an important safeguard...”

*Obi-Wan sweating, but all-in at this point* “Well, uh, Master Dooku and Chancellor Palpatine themselves told me they were concerned about the chips being abused by the wrong parties, and sent me to supervise, so,”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were read-in on the project architecture to that extent, well here are our options-”

Obi-Wan still chases to Jango to Genosis because he’s got a mission and ‘this might as well happen’

Still gets captured in that stupid rotating energy field by Dooku 

“What if I told you the senate was now controlled by a dark lord of the sith?”

“...I would say that I would be very interested in any holo-recordings or legal documents you might have to that effect”

“oh?”

“would very much like some sort of proof to bring before a court of law, yeah.”

The rescue attempt actually goes well this time! Anakin is well rested and practically glowing after his week-long all-expense paid vacation at Varykino

They all manage to escape and intercept reinforcement mid-flight

The council is pleased Obi-Wan is safe and not surprised to find Anakin there, but it doesn’t really change their mission as the senate has ordered them to take out the federation army before they can attack...

“The Senate ordered it?”

“Yes, much has happened, while gone you were. Were given to the chancellor, emergency powers. Drafted a military, he has. Generals, the Jedi have been made. Uneasy we are, but serve the senate, we do.”

“Oh kark, the Chancellor ordered it? We DEFINITELY can not invade.” Obi-Wan's starting to have another panic attack, not sure how to get out of the sith trap

Anakin’s a little offended. “Obi-Wan! The Chancellor is a good man; the Jedi must do this, for the good of -”

“PALPATINE’S A SITH LORD”

“what”

C) He tries, ok? (inspired by @ourhitofsucrose )

Very similar to B except for the full year between the ‘vision’ and aotc, Obi-Wan is desperately trying to follow the future’s warnings but failing hysterically

kamino and genosis have both erased from the archives and it doesn’t occur to him to ask dex so he doesn’t even have a direction to go on

tries to find some proof about Palpatine but he is a sneaky bastard

tries to separate palpatine from anakin but he’s like I’M AN ADULT NOW YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

tentatively brings up Dooku falling ‘in a vision’ to the council because that is something they can check up on- Yoda gets really offended

‘garbage planet on the outer rim’ is not a lot to go on

when he tries to get help searching because he knows that the sith who killed Qui-Gon is still alive and planning to kill his ex-girlfriend even Anakin is like... ‘ok buddy, i think you might be under too much stress, maybe we should visit the healers...”

best he can do for Shmi is leaving her an emergency beacon

A+ success in relationship repair with Anakin tho! through the application of a very awkward hug and a mumbled “you know I love you, right?”

Anakin drags him to the healers immediately, and after a drug test and an overnight stay finally responds by bursting into tears and ugly crying on Obi-Wan’s robes because “YOU’RE A FATHER TO ME BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAATED ME”

Obi-Wan is uncomfortably patting him on the back “Of course I don’t hate you! You’re my padawan! Why would you think that?”

Then when Shmi activates her emergency comm the same night Anakin has his first nightmare about his Mom and they fly to her rescue he’s even more OBI-WAN 5EVER  than canon or scenario B because

“You...checked in on my mom?? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry Anakin, I knew the council wouldn’t approve...”

hugs Anakin again since that is the only piece of advice he can follow from his future self and he just thinks ‘well its a long shot but hopefully this is enough to prevent any lava planet incidents’

it is 

Seriously in this version of events Anakin actively RESISTS being knighted because he was already obsessed with Obi-Wan in canon and now with hugs + verbal affection + protecting Mom proactively he is ALL IN FOR OBI NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

low-key ruins palpatine’s plans by itself because now when he tries to drive a wedge between them with his bullshit ‘your master doesn’t truly trust you’ Anakin gets huffy and responds with a space powerpoint presentation

i mean other stuff is going to go down once we get to the armies but already the stage is set for him to go running to Obi-Wan the minute he has a nightmare about Padme dying and him responding “J. Force Christ, lets just... go to a healer, fuck’s sake Anakin I hope it doesn’t need to be said but do NOT turn to the darkside over this”

canon would definitely diverge before that point but its also very funny to me to imagine RotS playing out more or less the same but when he gets to Palpatine’s big offer he just goes ‘sorry dad told me no’