#i busted a fat uwu

[theradicalkanji]

I want to share something absolutely wild that went down in the latest episode of the DND campaign I joined.

So my character is a little storm fairy named Lumen. He's a smol boi who doesn't speak much and when he does he's hard to hear. He's able to communicate with the larger races by using telepathy.

This campaign had been going on for years and so there's a lot I as a player and Lumen as a fairy from the plane of air who just found himself trapped on the material plane don't know about the world at large. Today I was introduced to an NPC that has apparently been held prisoner(?) Since the beginning of the campaign. The story goes that this half orc was the front for a shady business set up by The Evil Empire. After busting up the operation and rescuing people who were captured and effectively being prepped to be shipped off as slaves, the party took this half orc into custody.

The party's paladin, sunny. Wanted to rehabilitate this half orc since he did not believe the half orc to be evil. However, the party couldn't risk letting him go free until they were sure that he wouldn't go running back to the rival kingdom. So, the half orc had been effectively under house arrest for the past few years.

A few things I quickly learned upon meeting this guy for the first time.

a) he shows little to no reactions to anything that goes on around him. Everything is met with a bemused smirk and a squirt gaze.

b) the half orc has no real name. He has a serial number given to him by the empire and the nickname of Cabbage given to him by the crew. (ostensibly because he's green?)

c) cabbage seemingly doesn't interact with any of the other people in the place he's under observation and doesn't seem to do much of anything other than eat and maybe sleep.

Sunny wanted to interrogate cabbage and see if he could finally break through the facade and maybe get somewhere on determining if the guy was a threat to everyone or if he could be safely rehabilitated back into society. Lumen offered to go along seeing as he had telepathic abilities and may be able to pick up something other than what conventional words couldn't.

The interrogation starts. Lumen is hanging back and is perched on Sunny's shoulder like a pirates parrot and just quietly observing the conversation. Cabbage is showing no emotions other than slight boredom and his default bemused smirk. Lumen silently casts detect thoughts. (subtle spell is a ton of fun, yo) and the thoughts he picks up? A fat lot of nothing. There's literal static going on in this boy's brain.

Lumen continues to observe as Sunny puts up a zone of truth. As the conversation continues, Lumen is able to telepathically communicate with other party members outside of the interrogation room and get bits of info to fill in the blanks that he doesn't already know.

Throughout the interrogation Cabbage continues to answer in noncommittal ways which pisses off the paladin since he thinks cabbage is dodging the question, but Lumen (nat 20 insight boyos) realizes that cabbage literally has no opinions on the matter.

At this point Lumen decides to push things as uses his telepathic powers to pull a deep dive into cabbage's psyche. He's able to pull fragments of cabbage's memory and thoughts and what he finds is a life devoid of emotion or desire.

As this is happening he is asking other party members about his finding. Cabbage doesn't seem dangerous? He doesn't seem to have any interest in returning to the empire... In fact he doesn't seem to have any interest in doing anything?

At which point one of the other party members mentioning that the reason they are keeping such a close eye on this guy was that he was working directly for one of The Mystics, an order of powerful mages in the empire.

This piques Lumen's curiosity and he pushes deeper into Cabbage's memories trying to find out when he started working with this Mystic. Lumen discovers thoughts all the way back to Cabbage's childhood and beyond. Cabbage was born and raised in captivity. All semblance is self identity stifled in him since infancy.

While he's poking around inside Cabbage's psyche, Lumen goes digging specifically for mental manipulation of a magical origin, and finds a rune etched into Cabbage's very psyche since infancy. (Nat 20 arcana boyo)

This glyph stifles the development of a personality. The person feels no desire or emotions outside of the bare minimum needed to function. Deciding it's time to go big or go home, Lumen fires of a dispell magic unranked to the max. Level 7 dispell targeted at this half orc's emotional inhibitor.

The glyph shatters and Cabbage opens his eyes for real for the first time in his life. For the first time since he was born he is able to feel things and express his own desires. He's able to have actual opinions!

And his very first opinion that he ever had was

The name Cabbage fucking SUCKS

[a-kaash-me-outside]

tori. Tori. TORI!!!!

CHAPTER 7???? WHATTHEFUCKKKK

I’M Screaming WHAT THE HELL

ALL… OF THAT WAS JUST PERFECTION. DOWN TO EVERY WORD. SERIOUSLY, YOU OUTDO MY EXPECTATIONS EVERY DAMN TIME

You wanna know what line.. REALLY did it for me though.???

“god, i want to fuck you so bad, but can i kiss you a little longer first?”

I WAS LITERALLY YELLING!!! LIKE I WAS HYPERVENTILATING SO BAD I HAD TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES AND TAKE A LAP AROUND MY HOUSE OHNYMGODOSISHDNFJ

the way,,, he was so soft aswell ( for the most parts ) but i feel bad because i don’t really forgive him? apart of me still wants to be petty and go fuck makki for revenge but apart of my just wants to give him a slap on the wrist for being an idiot and then give him a fat SMOOCH because he’s so (ꈍ‿ꈍ)

ALSO THW WHOLE SCENE WITH THE PILLOW?? GOT ME DEAD. I WAS SCREAMING!!! LIKE THATS SO HOT WTFHAIQJDNFOXKQB

BUT!! YEAH!! YOU DID SO WELL WITH THE WRITING AND JUST HOW ITS STRUCTURED LIKE,,, lord have mercy. i AM about to bust. omg also i have a question 🤭

so they’re like.. on better terms now, right? but will they go back to their romance-ey acts of intimacy like before? e.g the cuddling or meeting with his brother & friends or will yn be abit more strict when it comes to that?

LOVE U LOTS!!!

- m 🐇💌

HAHAHAHA. OKAY. god. everyone is highlighting the kiss me a little longer part ANNNNDDD the baby scene and i love it. i love it. they're the most desperate and needy and uwu scenes in it and i love it.

the vibes and structure of their relationship is kinda a bit more explained in the next chapter! so!!! <3 yes. we will get a bit more and then bam, an epilogue also so!!!!!!!

glad you liked it m bb. <3

[sehunniepotwrites]

Omg no you should be getting so much feedback pls it’s such an amazing piece of writing 💕💕 I’m so looking forward to the next part and last part!! I know it’s a jaehyun fic but pls tell me brotherly mark comes back at some point I need it please let me cry happy this time 🥺🥺🥺🥺

✨good vibes✨ coming your way 💕💕

thank you, really!!!! just reading this (and eating my mcdonalds pokemon themed happy meal) is making me really happy and emotional ;u; 💕 

will lee minhyung make a comeback at some point in the fic? hmmmm, who knows? 👀 (certain versions of names were used for a reason, so, just think about that for a second!)

✨GOOD VIBES RIGHT BACK AT YOU, ANON! ✨

[iconicjk]

Happy birthday to the sweetest mochi ever!! I love you and i appreciate you sooo much❤️❤️❤️💖💖💖💕💕💕💕🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[guktwt]

hi hello! your blog is like so freaking awesome and i love reading all of your works! i swear you are one of the best writers on this hellsite and you're one of the only reasons i continue to have an account on here! thanks so much for being the great creator you are today :')

oh my god...... :( i almost teared up reading this anon you are TOO sweet... i’m very flattered and honored that i’m one of you’re favorite writers on here!!! i hope you can continue to enjoy my future works and thank you so much for your support (and existence) ❣️❣️❣️❣️ i love u 

[smiley-jisung]

can we take a second to appreciate Felix’s smile after JYP told him he has a great singing voice and that he should be more confident in it

[alohahippie]

guys i have found my new obsession aka Felix’s small cute hands like look at them. Have you ever seen anything cuter than this

[puffinsmuffins]

[hseulies]

have a great day, i love you <3

[minsbutt]

yoongi really out here painting and being the cutest boy alive

[sehunniepotwrites]

girlie you’re amazing!!!!!!!! i’m genuinely shaken, i don’t know why i felt so invested in this story, it really talked to me. im so in love with your words, with the light and the delicacy in them, how are you so talented 🥺🌻💗💗💗💗💗

AAAAHHHHH thank you, thank you 🌸

all my loving was a passion project of mine— it might be one of my most personal fics because so much of myself is in it. half of the poems were written solely for this fic while the other half are my own unsent letters so maybe a little too much of myself got you there hehe 💌

but again, thank you for loving it so much and even dropping into my ask box to tell me so! i really appreciate it; my heart is like soaring to the heavens right now! i hope you stick around and find something else you like ♥️

[honey-subs]

my opinion on u is that ur realy really cool!! u seem like the type of person to wait for a friend who is tying their shoelace, and THAT is a big compliment >:D - 🗿

[bobajeongguk-blog]

Can I please have a Drabble with Joon where you’re both caring for your baby🤧 thank you💛

that is the cutest i want Joon to father my children pls

anyway here u go! my fluff writing needs some work bc i’m a bit of an iced bitch at heart but this concept really melted it

—

The piercing shrieks of your awoken baby woke you up from your near-finished dream. The green buzz of the clock next to you read “2:24 am” in digits. Your husbands grumbles vibrates against the mattress you shared. Shuffling around a bit, you see Namjoon pull a pillow over his head, letting out a groan in tiredness.

Sighing, you mumble to yourself, “I’ll go then.”

You shuffle in a half asleep daze to the cot at the end of your bed, yawning as you approach the little one’s cries.

“Hey shhh, Tiny,” You quietly coo at your baby, “Momma’s here now.”

You gently pick up the chubby baby, cries already softening just at your maternal touch. Placing her in your cradled arms, you delicately rock her back and forth until her high pitch snivels returned again to peaceful silence. Her mouth had surrounded your little finger as a makeshift pacifier, not ideal but you could hardly complain at such an adorable sight. You stared at her soft, innocent face and fell in love all over again with the beautiful creation you and Joon had made.

Speak of the devil, you believed your husband had slyly managed to sleep through yet another disruption in the middle of the night, but when you felt his toasty, bed-warmed arms snake around your waist, you wistfully smiled to yourself, humming in comfortable delight against the cozy expanse of Namjoon’s wise chest.

“I would’ve gotten up,” He whispers directly into your ear, “But watching you cradle her is too good to miss.”

Turning to face him, baby still in arms, you display her endearing features to Namjoon as if it’s the first time he’s ever seen her asleep. He simply grins up at you in a silent agreement of “I know, she’s gorgeous”.

Joon puts his arms out greedily to hold her too and carefully, you place her in his big, inviting arms, wishing he could cuddle you also. However, sleep is beginning to take its own selfish priority as you let out a wide yawn.

“Go back to bed, Boo,” He nudges you whilst using your oldest pet name, “I got it from here.”

You smile at him, wondering for what felt like the hundredth time how you ended up in such a gloriously content life with a husband like Joon.

“Thanks babe,” you kiss his cheek with little effort, “You’re the best.”

You give the little babe in his arms a tiny, barely touching peck on her forehead, before crawling back into your side of the bed and almost instantly falling back asleep, a smile gracing your lips as you fade.

[sebeuntinct]

so, i just heard jaehyun's cover of "i like me better" and can i just say...he stole my WHOLE heart

[cannedapricot]

🌻 two adorable sunflowers 🌻

[puffinsmuffins]