#i blame [redacted]

[gbirrd]

DUN-DUH-DUH-DUUUUHN!

suprise! i've been working as part of ANOTHER Bang! I paired up once again with the delightful @englandamericaitaly to create this piece for their fic as part of the @dpxdcbigbang !

you can read their fic here- a really fun read, and of course I drew the scene with my boy Duke. we gotta step up folks! not enough art of this weird little daylight-loving freak out here!

Image ID:

A drawing of a very dark train tunnel, with a rail track stretching down from the top towards the bottom of the image. At the top of the piece near the back of the tunnel is Duke Thomas in his Signal armour, giving off a strong yellow glow as he is crouched over Clayface, arm raised in a fist to punch him as his head is raised to look up with glowing eyes. Clayface's hand is wrapped around Duke trying to pull him off. At the bottom of the page near the front of the tracks, Jazz Fenton stands facing Duke with a faint green glow. Three shadowy figures stand behind her. In the top right corner there is a close-up panel of Jazz's eyes, in all green, and mirroring it in the bottom left are Duke's eyes in all yellow.

[clove-pinks]

Real answer if you DARE question for the mutuals and followers: Who is your most embarrassing historical crush?

I mean a historical figure who is embarrassing chiefly because of their actions and beliefs, not because they're not conventionally attractive. (Although being conventionally unattractive can play a role in this, I admit).

[daisynik7]

Nanami gives the best massages after a long day at work. Maybe it's because his big hands glide gracefully along your shoulders, kneading into your sore muscles with just the right amount of pressure. Maybe it's because his thick thumbs work out those tough knots twisted into your back, relieving your throbbing headache. Maybe it's because his lips graze against the skin of your neck, scattering delicate kisses at each pulse point. "Does that feel good, sweetheart?" he asks, voice low in your ear, hands trailing down your waist, slipping beneath the elastic of your pants. "Do you want me to make you feel even better?"

It's a question he already knows the answer to; you turn to kiss him, moaning into his mouth as he teases your clit, feeling it swell against his fingertips. "That's what I thought," he chuckles, rubbing his hard cock between your ass cheeks. "Let daddy take care of you."

[empydoc]

i wish i didn't have to articulate my thoughts everytime i have them because wdym i can't just make a post saying 'i think a majority of the boys have long/mid-length hair' and leave it at that

gotta make it real complicated. jesus.

anyway. long hair redacted boys hcs

vincent runs his hand through his hair a lot more than he realises- usually as a nervous habit than anything. whenever lovely does it, he visibly relaxes.

darlin sometimes holds sam's face in their hands and his hair frames his face so nicely that they wish they could look at him like that forever.

huxley's hair getting in his face vs damien always telling him to tie it back (he ends up doing it himself- something huxley doesn't complain about)

blake pulling at his hair when he's especially stressed + those grey hairs that peek out at him when he looks at his reflection.

freelancer playing idly with gavin's hair when they're in bed, especially after doing something together. he's recently started to lean his head towards them sometimes as a silent ask for them to play it.

avior insisting that his hair is fine until starlight starts helping him manage it and keep it little less all over the place. he now sits in front of them sometimes and asks if they can make sure his hair looks okay.

asher constantly begging babe about using their new expensive shampoo (they're a 50/50 in saying either yes or no).

[erial-c]

i truly do hope that blake goes to visit bestie in this fucked up form of his and they're like . afraid of him . and maybe even get killed by the drove through his body as a vessel . i need him to see the consequences of his own actions NEOWWW

[syndrossi]

well, it happened, i actually wrote something so devastating i can't put it in chapter 23

(daemon's additional suffering is now likely deferred to a future chapter)

sobbed harder than while writing chapter 22 by a good margin

[reverieaudios]

have you ever listened to redacteds audios? i think you'd like them

I listened to a few of his audios a few years back, and I actually very recently remembered why I stopped and it's both hilarious and horrifying to me (to be clear this is 100% a "me" thing and from what I've heard of his work I do think he's very good at what he does)

Okay so I had last listened to some of his work a few years ago (I only vaguely remember 1 or 2 actual audios), if I remember right his channel was pretty new. So a couple of nights ago I decided to listen to a random video of his to figure out why I stopped listening to him all of a sudden back then.

And immediately realized that his voice sounded identical to an asshole roommate that I had moved in with probably around the same time I stopped listening. Like. Identical. And this roommate was. Not pleasant. Think "rich white boy with floppy hair that has never had to take responsibility before and will break your stuff but refuse to acknowledge that he broke it or offer to replace it and also he will invite his equally obnoxious friends over and serve them the food you made while passing it off as his own before you even got the chance to have a bite of it (he did this multiple times)"

So yeah suddenly hearing a carbon copy of that roommate's voice directly in my ear saying petnames made me wanna set myself on fire lol

[miyaheestar]

asher still call sam as grandpa jokingly even though he's in his 70s and sam couldn't help but to smile instead of complaining because asher will be gone soon and he'll never get to hear the words again

[urfavesarequadranted]

Israel 'Izzy' Hands from Our Flag Means Death is auspisticing Stede Bonnet and Edward 'Blackbeard' Teach!

[fridayiminlovemp3]

i hatttttteeeee when i reference some stupid internet joke irl that i assume everyone knows about and people don’t get it and i’m like oh never mind lol!!! and they make me explain it 💔😞 and now i just sound crazy like if you don’t know who dan and phil are i can’t explain to you the significance of them being at the fall out boy concert and if i try i’m gonna sound crazier

[deus-ex-mona]

when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~

[kaebedom-me]

in which gojo cant seem to get his shit together when he's in front of the person he likes

synopsis: gojo tries his best to impress a regular he's been crushing on, too bad he can't keep his shit together long enough to make a proper latte

cw: gojo x reader, the babygirlfication of gojo satoru, ooc!gojo, he's actually not ooc my personal hc is that he gets real flustered in front of the person he really likes that's why, equally flustered and shy!reader, fem!reader, fluff, slightly proofread but not really, this is part of @freyzrc's very cute very good cafe au series! so please support the original creator!

word count: 1544

a/n: im actually scheduled for another DisappearanceTM but i 🥺 anyway, if you've been wondering where I've been I'm actually neck deep in jjk hell hence! i present to you, tumblr, this fic!!! (more hcs and context after the fic if you're interested in my ramblings)

Gojo, despite his very pretty (self-proclaimed) appearance, actually prefers to work the morning shift during the times when the café was not a bar. It’s definitely not because he’s more of a morning person, it’s also definitely not because he hates alcohol. Also, it’s certainly absolutely positively NOT because of a pretty girl that comes in every once in a while, to grab a latte at a time where it (in his opinion) should be an inappropriate time to get coffee. But it’s favourite part of the day anyway, he always finds himself looking forward to it despite the irregularity of the girl’s visit.

“Ah! Welcome!” Itadori’s voice chimed in, snapping Gojo out of his daydreaming.

“Welcome!” Gojo exclaimed, too. He turned around just in time to catch sight of the girl he was daydreaming about coming to the counter.

To say he was a little excited was an understatement, because Gojo had almost dropped the cup that he was drying to the floor, earning a snort from Geto who’d been standing next to him the entire time. Gojo turned to glare at him for a split second before returning his attention to you.

“The usual, right?” Itadori asked cheerily.

“Actually, could I get it hot today?” you asked softly.

“Of course! That’ll be out to you in a jiffy!”

You gave Itadori a smile while tucking away your wallet. As you walked away, you glanced behind the counter to note who was on shift. Geto gave you a kind nod before whispering something to Itadori.

Before you could get too far away Itadori raised his voice a little to catch your attention. “Um! Miss! Excuse me! I’m so sorry to bother but we’re a little short staffed today, would you mind waiting here for your coffee?”

He asked you so nicely you weren’t able to say no, it’s not like you would’ve in the first place, though. You approached the end of the counter, where they usually put the drinks before serving.

Geto gave you an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Megumi-kun’s out with the dogs and I’m just about to take my break, so I really hope you don’t mind.”

You nodded; you understood you told him.

“Thank you so much, hun’! It’s nice seeing you again.” Geto beamed, and right there you swear you died while you were on your way here because this can’t be happening.

Geto quickly excused himself and went to the back, leaving you flustered.

Gojo was by the machines pulling a shot when Geto so kindly passed by him to pat him on the butt. The daggers he had been glaring at him had Geto trying not to laugh the entire time.

When you noticed it was your favourite white-haired barista making your coffee today you nearly choked on your own spit. Surely, you definitely died on the way here today, that was the only reason why the stars had aligned so perfectly today.

By the time you snapped back to your senses, Gojo was practically right in front of you assembling the drinks. You were way too nervous to look directly at him but you felt it would’ve been rude to look away considering you just made eye contact with him.

You awkwardly gave him a smile, and he returned it stiffly. “Uh, nice weather, huh?”

“Yeah!” You answered.

Curses! “Nice weather”??? That’s all he could come up with??? The only time he gets to talk to you outside of the usual short conversation while you ordered and he had to mess it up??? A disgrace! He’s The Gojo Satoru! How could he have been so-!!

It was then Gojo slightly slipped up and spilled some of the milk from the pitcher. “Shit,��� he cursed.

He shouldn’t have looked up. But he did, and he made direct eye contact with you. GOD! STUPID! How did he mess it up this badly! Gojo wanted to curl into a ball and hide under the stupid cabinets right now.

“I usually don’t fuck up this badly-”

“Oh!!! Um! It’s ok! Take your time,” you tried and offered him your best smile.

Huh? HUH???? Did he seriously, seriously accidentally say that out loud? In front of you??? Of all people?????

Gojo cleared his throat as he felt the heat rush up into his cheeks. He has to save this somehow. “I, uh- Erm, is there any particular latte art you like?”

Taken off guard, you shook your head. “Anything’s good really!”

FUCK. What now?? He just kind of made conversation with you, should he continue?? Should he give you some options? A heart? What?! No! That’s too obvious! A swan? A rose? C’mon, Gojo, think! You can do better than those basic fucking starter latte art. Maybe he should drop dead and die, there’s no saving this interaction at this point.

“Maybe?” You quietly piped in. “Those plant looking ones? I think they look nice.”

A tulip? A tulip! Gojo’s got this! This is easy! Tulips are so easy! And he’s the best latte art maker in this whole damn café!

“Sure!” He puffed up his chest and answered as cheerily as he can, trying to hype himself up. If this goes well, maybe, MAYBE, he’d deem himself worth enough to ask for your number.

A tulip, a tulip, a tulip. A very simple and easy design. Yes, Gojo can make it with his eyes closed. He can even make it more complicated and intricate, that’ll surely impress you enough to want to give him your number. Super simple tulips are, he’s been making them since forever.

So why, why, WHY, is his hand shaking so badly. No!! No!!!! He has to do this perfectly! Oh, God, he can feel you looking at him and waiting. You’ve been waiting for a while too, he knows this! But God damn it, Megumi didn’t have to come in at this time to remind him that you’ve been waiting for a while. No! Focus! He can do this! Make good latte art, get pretty girl’s number!

Gojo ignored Itadori calling Megumi over to the back. He breathed in and let his hands worked his magic. This was easy! It’s practically muscle memory at this point! He’s got this!

Make good latte art, get pretty girl’s number!

Gojo must’ve been too excited because he fucking accidentally poured too much of the stupid milk into the damn cup too quickly and royally fucked whatever art he was about to make.

Gojo wanted to scream.

“Oh, um, I can still take that,” you piped in.

Oh, fucking fuck, you were watching him the entire time too. Gojo wanted to cry.

“No, no, I’ll remake it-”

“No! It’s ok! I don’t mind,” you said again. “I really don’t mind.”

You were truly an angel sent from heaven. How are you so forgiving and cute?? He can never show his face again the next time you come in.

“Ah, at least let me draw something on it to make up for it,” Gojo meekly offered.

Too shy to say no, you let and then watched him shuffle a little to the side to reach for the chocolate syrup.

Gojo made quick work of drawing Shiro into the latte you ordered. It wasn’t something too impressive but he knew at least you’d like it considering how much time you spend with Megumi’s dog whenever you came in.

“Enjoy,” he sheepishly muttered to you while he slid the coffee towards you.

Curse that stupid!!! Suguru!!!! For making you, of all people, stand by the counter to watch him work.

He watched as your eyes lit up at the little doodle he made. “Sorry I’m kinda off my game today,” he lamely excused himself. “It’s not the tulip you wanted but I hope it’s enough, I swear I’m a killer with latte art.”

You nodded, still eyeing the little Shiro on your cup, absent-mindedly you said, “It’s ok, maybe next time!”

Gojo perked up at that. The fact that you were still willing to come back!!! Ah, that almost brought tears to his eyes. “Next time for sure,” he promised.

Realising what you had just heard you snapped back to look at him. He was smiling gently down at you now and your heart almost burst out of your chest right there. You nodded and offered him another smile before scuttering away to find a seat.

おまけ

“Oh my God, that was so painful to watch,” Geto could hardly contain his laughter.

“Hey!!! Whose fault was it, huh!! I could’ve made the best damn art in my entire career!! And you!!! You fucked me over,” Gojo whisper shouted at Geto while the other staff slowly made their way back to the front.

“You screwed it up yourself,” muttered Megumi. “It was funny to watch though, I’m glad we took the shorter route back today.”

“Yeah, the Gojo Satoru fumbling so badly,” chimed Geto.

Itadori walked over to where Gojo was and offered him the cloth by the sink. “Aw, I think you did your best, senpai! Next time! You’ll make the best damn latter art in your entire career, I’m cheering for you!”

Gojo snatched the cloth from Itadori and glared at his friends before wiping down the mess he made. 

so as mentioned, my personal hc is that gojo gets really flustered and shy when he's in front of the person his likes that's why he's like that in the fic uwu

it's just a simple cafe au with your favourite jjk boys

according to @freyzrc the bar becomes a bar after hours so your faves are able to pick and choose what shifts they prefer to work and when

i say your faves but really its up to you (read: me) if i want to see who at when and where lMAO

in my head, if i were to make this into a series it'd be like a dating sim with different routes depending on your fave that you're after

but also, there's no particular order in which events happen because I'm really writing this as a one off HAHAHA

if you're curious though, you can read it as a "best moments compilation" thing, but if you're on the other routes, the events of this route then not something that happened? it's basically kind of like the timeline branches out and there's multiple different universes within this universe

this route is gojo x reader + geto x reader with a hint of satosugu

this was intended to be a gift to the original artist so uwu reader is the way they are because of that

gojo does crush on geto here in this route but his brain actually doesn't process his feelings for geto because he dug himself a very deep friendzone hole. it's very tragic :/

[palilious]

*shoves him in your face* LOOK AT MY SON [preesh to @yoteako for the sona/oc template]

[nevaroonie]

Was I supposed to be drawing those characters sheets? Yes.

Did I finish em? No.

Did I draw William? Yes.

Am I going to finish this sketch? Most likely.

Do I have regrets? No.

Taglist @vind3miat0r @achios

[empydoc]

self aware guy (the character) is the funniest thing in my head

i remember seeing a post about it on here but it's just so silly. this dude knows several references that might not even be canon in the redactedverse, but says them anyway because it's amusing- and, the funniest part of that is, honey can just go along with it because 'oh he's just my silly boyfriend, what else?'

he could also be getting away with so much more chaotic shit and yet he just doesn't, instead taking the chance to be in a relationship with the grumpiest, most firm person he's met and fucking GETTING AWAY WITH IT

making guy arguably the most powerful character? unlikely, but plausible. stay on your toes, people!

[erial-c]

i think honey has a habit of repeating words other ppl say (liek echolalia) so at some point they catch themself repeating one of guy's. . . .. many references . . . and then die a little bit inside