#i bet most of you haven't heard all these songs before ^°^

[horrorisunknowntoyou]

Watching From The Sidelines P.4

[SAGAU X SHAPESHIFTER READER]

Synopsis: The game continues, but feelings of pain start arising. You are vulnerable. But this might be a wake up call for you.

A/n: Thank you so much for the support! Y'all filling my notifications with tag list request lmao. I can't write all of you, I have 4 index cards full of usernames. But I'll try my best!

TW// vomiting blood, being very sick.

Also heavy leaning to Zhongli x Reader

Song recommendations:

Gold - Imagine Dragons

Golden hour - JVKE

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It's been a few months since the game has started.

Life was going on as normally, well as normal as a business man working with literally gods chasing you.

Of course even with unlimited stamina, and unmatched skill, it's starting to take a toll on your body. You couldn't explain it, but something was hurting deep inside you.

Maybe it was the fact you haven't been 'you'.

You been stuck as m/n for months! And your kinda starting to forget who you are. Sure it's been a lot of fun to play pretend. Being smug and rich and whatever...but you kinda miss old you.

The person who played genshin for fun! Sure, your no longer financially struggling or suffering but at this point, looking in the mirror is starting to be painful.

You don't know how long you can play this game anymore.

Of course you knew the acolytes and followers are more then devoted to you, willing to do whatever to do whatever you want. To prove themselves to you and win your favor, and this point they added so much people it's starting to get annoying.

Yeah, it's fun but you don't know how much your heart can take it.

Currently your hiding inside a shed, listening carefully to your surroundings outside.

You felt this unbearable sinking feeling in your chest. At this point your tempted to call the game quits because something is very wrong.

You really don't want to though.

Hours passed, sinking in and out of consciousness, you see a person shouting at you trying to warn you something before gasping awake.

You unintentionally fell asleep in the shed, bewildered and stressed out you decided leaving the shed for air was your best bet.

As you clutched onto you stomach you felt very uncomfortable.

You took a deep breathe of air, trying to stable yourself but you can't. You don't know why? Was it you doubting yourself? Who's the person you dreamed of?

Imagines of someone speaking to you popped into your head again, disorienting you.

"Zhongli!" You yelled out, leaning on a wall coughing into your hand, noticing it shine in reflection of the sun.

It was blood.

Your blood.

He immediately appeared, startling you, he looked at you concerned.

You immediately shaped shifted to your original form.

" I-i hate to end the game, but I...I don't feel well I don't think I can continue on." You mumbles to him.

His eyes widen at this, as other acolytes appeared behind him. You started coughing again, and next thing you knew. You vomit out blood, and collapsed on the ground.

You heard screaming, crying, and feeling of hands holding you gently in their grasp.

You also saw that person again briefly, they were stroking your hair mumbling sweet nothings to you.

It felt warm.

Then everything went to black.

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You felt comfortable.

Very comfortable.

You blinked slowly, waking up realizing youwere practically drowning in pillows and blankets. Staring at the ceiling above you, before eventually sitting up. You were on this huge bed, gently patting your chest. Noticing the change of clothes.

It was a simple white nightgown, most likely due to your other clothes covered in your blood.

Before you can even think, the door swung open, The archons looking at you.

"YOUR GRACE YOU'RE AWAKE!" Venti yellowed out, practically tears brimming his eyes. " I was so worried! "

"Your highness please, never scare us like that again." Zhongli says, closing the door behind him so others don't barge in.

Ei stood their silently, looking at you with sadden look.

You sigh," Zhongli... explained what happened after I blacked out?"

He nods, " Of course your grace, after...after you passed out, we thought we lost you after so long. We had to shield you and bring you back to the temple quick as possible. We got the best doctors to check up on you. "

You looked at your hands, clenching them into fists before letting go.

"My body was probably stressing out after using so much of my shapeshifting ability. And it magnifying with my identity crisis. It made me too vulnerable.

But who is that person I keep seeing? I didn't even dream of them..."

You sigh, " I apologize for worrying you all, it appears I must pause the game in the meantime. As I need to rest and heal. I had no idea this would have happened. I'll take note of it in the future. "

You tried to get up, but all three Archons immediately set you back down.

" I apologize your highness but we can not let you leave this room. " Zhongli says firmly, tucking you back in. "If you want anything, we will get it for you."

After everything, you just agree with it. "Ei take care of my business, Venti alert the others I'm awake. Zhongli you stay with me. " You quietly ordered them.

They all nod.

You were exhausted even if you just awoke. Som much things already on your mind.

"Zhongli can I ask you an odd request." You mumbles.

"Nothing is odd if it's coming from you your highness. What is your request?" He asked, sitting on a chair besides the bed to keep watch.

You gently lend a hand out, " can I hold your hand?"

He perked up at the request, " H-hold your hand? It would be an honor. " He gently grabs your hand. It felt reassuring to have, as you slowly blink. Falling asleep with your hand interlock with Zhongli's.

You didn't dream of that person again.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You been recovering well, however you practically can not do anything. Like at all.

Also no info could be found of the person you are looking for. Which is huge bummer but you'll look more into it yourself once at full health.

Besides that, due to the accident the Archons are scared you're going to vomit out blood again. They are hovering over you 24/7, like you can't be alone at all. Someone has to be with you at all times.

You couldn't even feed yourself, someone has to feed you by hand while you sat in bed.

It was humiliating.

But you couldn't do much until your strength was fully back.

But there was something you didn't expect....

That was meeting the harbingers.

You were literally in a nightgown, in bed, resting and Dottore was doing a check up on you....

HOW WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO ACT????

You knew of pantalone due to business connects and such as m/n. But the others? How the hell were you supposed to deal with them???

You just sat there, unsure as they asked how your doing and such. It was obvious they wanted to be in your favor.

All you can do is let them, as time passed and you watch the harbingers speak to each other. You paid them no attention as you slowly drifted to sleep engulfed in a warm embrace of it.

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At this point, you were so sick of resting.

Besides Ei bringing you papers to read or give your signature to for your business. You practically had nothing to do!

Your been nagged to death by so many people, The Archons, Harbingers, followers etc. The list goes on and your going insane. The amount of times late at night your suffocating yourself with a pillow or punching it before being sedated by Zhongli.

You wanted to rip your hair out!

However the more you slept, the more you talked to 'that' person.

You still don't know who it is, but it's clear they were warning you of your illness.

Which confused you still, but that's a plus up. However that still doesn't change your issues.

1. Who is dream person?

2.Health is not fully healed.

3.Stuck in the temple much to your displeasure.

4. Having to pause the game.

Things are not going as you planned....

You are pacing in your room, Zhongli watching you in concerned.

"Is something wrong your highness? You seem troubled. " He asked but all you can do is pace back in forth thinking.

You looked at him.

"Zhongli, what your opinion in continuing the game? We never finished it." You faced him. He thinks about it, " I-im unsure your highness, believe me, as we want to prove our loyalty to you. You must understand we don't know how much you recovered. We fear of loosing you. "

" so if I were to wish to continue, it's assume the others would decline? "

" Most likely yes your highness. "

You sigh, running your hand through your hair, " call a meeting with everyone involved in the game. " You command yanking the doors open and swiftly walking down the hallway.

Zhongli immediately chases after you, " your highness! I understand you're displeased but your in a nightgown! Barefooted on tile! " He tries to usher you , but you only ignored him.

Others soon noticed you, common folk immediately bowed before you and stepped away. Others started to follow behind you trying to put you back to bed.

You headed to the throne room, and sat at your throne. Not caring if your dressed improperly, you wanted things done.

Aether and Paimon was visiting a noticed you walking in and the archons following behind you as well body guards. He was confused what was going on as more appeared. Soon him and Paimon was ushered in.

You held a meeting.

"As many of you know, I gotten I'll however. I feel I rested enough. I wish to continue the game. " You command, resting your head on your hand watching the others.

Chatter erupted the room.

Some disagreed to this, prioritizing your health above anything else. Other's were arguing for it, as you created the game and wished for this.

It was hotly debated between the folk.

You sat above and watched down at them, listening to their opinions. You honestly wanted to know what to do. Crossing you legs and pondered.

Zhongli was absolutely against this and he took off his coat and place it on your lap. Keeping you covered.

"Ah, thank you." You quietly say. Unknowingly as others noticed this. Them turing to face you.

"Its my pleasure your highness." Zhongli says with a smile, placing a kiss on your hand.

What was meant to be a serious debated turned into an argument over you. And now others were suggesting to give you a piece of their clothing to you.

You couldn't help but laugh nervously and blush at this stupid situation. How the hell are you supposed to manage this stupid mess? This is nothing like running a business.

God help me.

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Tag list:

@borbsbirbs @emuxmu @cryastre @lizzhearthz @aphxdea @leafanonsforest @mynameis-star @lunarapple @red1sg0n3 @0hsilver @travelergarnett @valeriele3 @imlost-sendhelp @local-mr-frog @cumbermovels @bidisasterforevermore @sora-but-sadder @moraxsimp69 @iruiji @ll-nty77 @yuyuzi-ling @yunareinhart @enld @code-roevember @no-name-omo @meena-in-a-nutshell @randomnatics @the-2nd-random-kid @smokey-cat @moosieman12345 @nexylaza @stellakito @byakuren100 @jcrml @guess-i-die @creation-magician @longppanoodle @angelkazusstuff @apple-ai @yandere-city

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[bookshopsbizarreblog]

Can we talk about how good the Moon Mining song in Midst S3E14 - Shindig is? Like, I've heard lots of songs across the various podcasts I've listened to, some of them quite good. But I have yet to encounter one that was situated in the story as masterfully as the Moon Mining song, or that conveys a fraction of the emotionality. Even without getting into story spoilers, the (at least seemingly) improvised nature of each verse, the layering of shouts and cheers and merry heckling to create a whole crowd leaning into it, the way each character expresses themself and their situation (and is expressed to us as the audience), and even just the way the song is introduced paint such a vibrant and lively setting. The entire 5-ish minutes just radiates a community coming together and having fun.

S2E4 - Weather used to be my favorite episode, as someone who has a deep love of cosmic horror and general eldritch shenans, but I've gone back to Shindig at least seven or eight times just to listen and relisten to that single song. I can't imagine not getting swept up in the revelry, and its position within the episode (and season overall) just sells it so much harder. More concrete spoilers beneath the cut.

If you haven't listened to Midst, please do. Gracious goodness, it's so good.

The entire episode is a rollercoaster of highs and lows for these characters and the community of Stationary Hill that we've gotten to love at this point. Sherman and Tzila finally arrive home, to celebration and joy. The community is barely recognizable but we've seen them band together and rebuild. And at a pinnacle of tension, after the gut punches of Hieronymus' confession to Saskia and the Vault demolition plan and Weepe's victory over Kozma, we finally get a brief break. But even that break is tainted with uncertainty and pain. Right before the song begins, we get Emmet's toast to the fallen, Sherman's uncertainty and fear of staying in Stationary Hill, all the festivities and merriment tinged bittersweet. And then the catharsis hits. It's not announced as a song. It's not a side bar where the ambiance cuts away so a tune can be inserted above the story. All we know is that Goe is getting on stage, and the narrators are saying we're missing something, but what? "That's right." "It wouldn't be a party on Midst without-" "Goe: It's time, you dang raskals!"

It's like the podcast version of show, don't tell. They could have laid out that a song was coming up. They could have even just launched into it. But by merely having uncertain build up and sudden increasing excitement and anticipation from the crowd, we get dragged along with it too. Straight from all the emotions of the previous conversations into this building energy with no clear outlet. It isn't until the cheers and diegetic voices demand "that friggin' moon tune," now that we are also fully on board, that the end point is revealed. And then it slaps.

The different methods of singing for each person, of which Saskia and Ettie (x2) and Ned (whose voice makes me understand the random background lady) stand out the most. Bets and Walter's and Tzila all representing different versions of how a kid would approach being asked to sing in front of their entire community. Sylvester and the chanting and everyone joining in on the chorus and the way each person's verse is a snippet of their life and perspective and situation and story without it being overbearing. It just. The whole thing. It screams of the close-knit Stationary Hill community, which then also pays off in another big way during the last episode.

I highly recommend listening to the song again, with headphones and the volume cranked up to get the full experience if you haven't already. I'm losing my mind over this song. If tumblr woulda let me, I would have just uploaded the full 5:19 clip I isolated, but unfortunately it wound up being too big to post. So here's the link to the time where the song specifically starts.

Thank you so much Third Person ( @midstpodcast ) for creating such a full and magical world.

[misscinnamonroll16]

You want more headcanons? No? Well that's too damn bad. Some of these are from a fanfic I'm writing (I'll post it once it's done)

Floyd can tell when his brothers are upset and will pester them until they talk about

Jd has so much pent up emotions. It started when he basically took over taking care of his brothers. He felt he needed to be happy so they could be happy.

Bruce may not have cooked when they were young but he watched how their grandma cooked and kind of memorized.

John Dory is constantly tense, his muscles are so tightly wound that he feels like solid muscle. The other bros think it's just bc he's been so active all these years until he finally relaxes a little.

Once back together, branch falls into the annoying little brother role. Taking embarrassing pictures and showing them to anyone (bonus points if it's a potential partner), and telling embarrassing secrets

Branch will never let them live down leaving him (if you know, you know 😂)

Clay and Floyd scare the crap out of the others. Clay because he's been silently walking around for the past two decades and Floyd because hes just a light stepper.

Bruce is a light sleeper, having kids made that worse (or better depending on how you view it)

Floyd sleeps V quietly. The type of sleep where you think they've died bc they haven't moved and you can't tell if you're imagining them breathing

JD snores. Like super loudly. But sleeps similar to Bruce, where he could wake up at the drop of a hat. He developed that tactic when they were kids and he heard one of his bros wake up in the middle of the night.

Floyd's voice is soft and comforting, the type to talk kidnappers about their childhood and how it lead them down this path.

John Dory will use his goggles to hide his eyes when he's been crying or hasn't slept in a long time. Did this when he'd stay up all night writing one of their songs or to hide the fact that he had been crying

John is painfully independent. Will refuse help despite the fact that he needs it most.

John Dory constantly uses the excuse that he's the oldest so he "doesn't need help" and "can take care of himself" and it infuriates his brothers to no end now that they're adults and realize that it's happening

It gets to a point where they practically have to tie JD down and force him to relax

Clay walks into walls while reading bc he walks while reading. The others find it funny until it happens several times in a row. Sometimes they "redirect" him before he walks into a wall, like a roomba

Floyd and Clay are little shits.

Clay got his head stuck in one of these at one of their first concerts. Him and Floyd (and technically Branch but he was being carried) were walking along when Clay got the "bright" idea to sit his head through, convinced he wouldn't get stuck. Clay sent Floyd to get help from spruce, who had to be the mature one and not laugh at him. Spruce just pushes his ears in and he pops right out. Once they turn to walk away Clay does it again, after getting him out again Spruce just picks him up like a sleeping bag under his arm.

Clay constantly made bets he couldn't keep. "Bet you five bucks I can do this or that." Mainly with Floyd bc Floyd wouldn't hold him to it

[dre6ming]

Christmas tree shopping

The delicate beginning rush

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warnings: smut, sex, explicit content, mentions of blood, crying, bad family relationships, fluff

Word count: ~3000

Plot: Christmas tree shopping puts a small dent into your heart considering the past, so when Austin asks that you do it together, you have some holdbacks.

I love Christmas! And that's that. I've always loved it, ever since I could understand the concept of it. I adore the buzz of the crowd searching for gifts, the smell of Christmas foods, the decorations, the songs, the movies. I mean you'd have to have a big lump of coal for a heart to not like Christmas. But with all my love for this time of the year, this year I'm just not feeling it.

As I walk the crowed streets of New York all on my own, with my big fluffy scarf covering most of my face, I look around at the stores wondering where I could go next, dreading going home, where Austin waits for me so we can go Christmas tree shopping. When he proposed the idea that we go together, I just nodded and smiled, but in my heart a big hole was being uncovered. I used to go Christmas tree shopping with my dad, some of my favorite memories with him, are of us choosing a tree, setting it up in the living room and decorating it together. Those were some of the best hours in the whole year. But then the divorce happened right before Christmas, no one bought a Christmas tree, I didn't even bother decorating that year, I stayed over at Timmy's house, then the year after that, was mine and Austin's first Christmas together, but he was with his family and I went again to Timmy's house.

This year though, he wants us to have a Christmas together together. He suggested that we spend it over at his LA home, but Christmas is supposed to be cold and wet and snowy, not sunny and hot, so we are going to have a small party at my apartment on the 25th, until then he wants all the Christmas stuff to be done. Which I'm more than happy to do, but I was hoping we'd get a fake tree from Amazon or something.

I feel my phone vibrate in the pocket of my coat and I know I can't ignore him, or he will get worried, so I sigh, taking the phone out and answering the call. "Hi, Aus! I'm still looking at a few shops, they've got really nice things out here, I bought some stuff." I lie, having not bought even a single thing. "Don't worry darling, I was just checking in, what do you say, I come get you with the car and then we go to the Christmas tree market?" He asks so sweetly, it hurts my heart. "Um actually I don't know, I don't think I'm gonna be much longer, so just wait for me back at the apartment." I hate the anticipation of the disappointment in his voice. "That's fine Y/n, just be safe, I love you!" I close my eyes and rub my temple with my free hand, feeling a headache creep it's way to me. "Love you too!" I cut the call short and keep walking, smiling as I spot the rusty old sign from Frank's record store.

As I enter the smell of cinnamon and chocolate, hits me, soft jazz playing in the background. The store looks empty today, except for Frank, sitting behind the counter, reading a book. As the door bell rings he looks up from his book and smiles at me, getting up to come hug me. "Hey kid, haven't seen you in a hot minute. Though I've heard plenty of you. I never knew fruitcake makes you sick" he laughs, referencing my latest album, a Christmas ep called fruitcake. "Very funny!" I giggle, unwrapping the scarf from my neck and undoing some of the buttons on my coat.

"Well I've been busy, but I'm home for the holidays." I say, looking around, skimming through some of the new records he has in store. "Hm I bet you're busy, touring arenas and all. Hey kid look what I have here." Frank says as he goes to the back and brings out a mysterious vinyl. "It's a first edition. A mix done on vinyl in the 90's, all your favorites are on here." He explains, replacing the vinyl he had one with the new one he brought. "Last Christmas I have you my heart.." the song starts playing and I start singing along.

"Want some hot cocoa?" Frank asks, putting the closed sign on the door, as I take of my coat to be a bit more comfortable. "Of course I want some, extra-" "-Whipping cream, I know" he finishes my sentence, making both of us laugh. As Frank goes to make the hot cocoa, I take my phone out and text Austin.

Me

Hey, something came up, I'm over at Roxy's place. Can we reschedule?

Austin

Sure, hope everything is alright. Love you 💜🧶

Me

Ofc, love you too

I hate lying to him, but I just don't feel like having a therapy session right now. "Hmm perfect!" I smile taking the cup from Frank and drinking some of the delicious hot beverage. "So any big plans for Christmas this year?" He asks, and I start telling him all about the dinner me and Austin are hosting for friends and family.

Before I knew it I had spent a few good hours over at Frank's store and then I had to call Matt to come get me with the car and drive me back home, as it had gone dark outside. So now I'm in the elevator, watching the buttons of each floor light up, until we get to number 10. I walk in and the whole place is quiet, no sight of Austin or any cats, so I guess that he must be sleeping. Tiptoeing to my room I find Austin sleeping on the bed with Simba and William cuddled up to him. Walking into the closet I try to make as little sound as possible and I start to take off my clothes.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and I let out a small scream, startled for a moment. "Shh it's me" Austin whispers against my ear, kissing down my neck, I lean into him and reach my hand back, to comb through his thick hair. "It's ok.." I moan as he sucks the skin right above my collarbone. His hands travel down my abdomen and unbutton my jeans, his right hand sliding down between my legs, into my underwear. "Austin.." I sigh, putting all my weight on him. "Shh, don't talk." Austin says

He's skilled fingers work me like magic, his left arm tight around my waist holding me up, as he plugs a finger into me. I gasp, fisting his hair, as he moves slowly inside me. "Shh no talking." He repeats, after I try to moan his name again. This is something we've never done before, he usually likes me talking during sex, and he encourages me to be vocal, but this time he wants me to be quiet.

I'm lost in my train of thought and don't realize the moment he pulls his hand away and picks me up, taking me to the bed. "Aus?" I ask concerned as he removes my jeans but not my panties. He looks at me, but there's no tenderness like before, he looks mad? "No talking." Is all he says, as he takes off his clothes and puts on a condom, getting on top of me. "Aus baby, is something wrong?" I ask touching his face. A faint smile crosses his face and a glimmer of something sweet shows up in his eyes. My heart beats at a thousand miles per hour and I'm aroused as ever, but something is off.

"Nothings wrong, I just want to feel you." He says, kissing me, his hands going back to their ministrations. We move in sink and I reach behind me to unclasp my bra. Austin's hands go immediately to my breasts, kneading and pinching my nipples. "Fuck!" He grunts as I sneak my hand down and pump his cock, touching his tip to my covered pussy, wishing right now there was no thin layer of cotton between us.

"Please!" I beg as his head nudges at my wet pussy, brushing against my clit, sending electric shocks up my spine. "Fucking hell!" Austin curses, guiding his hand between us, to push my panties to the side, quickly sliding into me. I wince in pain, as he usually takes his time opening me up, but this time he seems to be in a hurry. His lips find mine and he swallows my whimpers. When he's all the way in, he stills and waits for me to give him the ok to move. After a few moments of sitting like this conjoined, with my legs around his waist, my hand in his hair and his around my waist, something changes, something in him, he starts feeling warm and soft, unlike the cold stiff feeling he was giving me before, it's like he melts into me.

His hands moves up my body, wrapping tightly around me. "I'm sorry!" He says in a broken voice. "It's ok, doesn't hurt anymore, please move." I say caressing his cheek, encouraging him to pull his hips back. When his pelvis meets mine again, fireworks sparkle behind my closed eyelids. Austin starts a slow pace, each time going deeper and deeper if that were possible. The room is filled my muffled moans and skin slapping noises, as both of us feel closer and closer to the sweet release. "Shit Austin, I need more, please!" I beg arching my back to give him a new angle.

Austin groans in my ear and picks up the pace, placing one hand behind my head on the pillow and the other on my clit, rubbing slow circles. "I love you! I love you so much!" I say, feeling closer to my orgasm, my walls spasm around hid twitching cock. "Fuck!" His voice sound strangled and he moves faster, sloppier. "I love you I love you Iloveyou!" I say over and over again and over again. He keeps his moves fast and rhythmic, I curl my toes and pull on his hair, my orgasm wrecking through my body, tingling head to toe. Austin keeps moving until I feel him tens and he cums moaning into my shoulder.

We sit a few minutes tangled together, breathing in sink, his heart thudding against my chest. The  without a word, Austin pulls out, leaving me empty, getting up and going to the bathroom. I'm left staring at the ceiling, wondering what this whole experience was just weird. I sit up in bed and wrap myself in my fluffy robe, getting up, going to the kitchen to drink some water.

I keep thinking what just happened, I can't imagine what must have happened to make Austin act like this. It's not that the sex didn't feel good, it did, but it felt like he was somewhere else, or at lest trying to be somewhere else. "Are you hungry ?" I jump at Austin's voice, dropping the glass of water on the floor. Without thinking I try to reach for the broom, to clean this up, but I step on a shard of glass. "Aw, fuck fuck!" I let out, holding onto the counter, lifting my leg up to see if the cut is bad. It's only a small shard, so the cut is barely a graze, but blood is already coming out of it. "Don't move!" Austin warns, walking around the broken glass and water, coming next to me. He puts both hands on my waist and lifts me up on the counter, the going to clean the mess I made.

We sit in silence, as he cleans and I feel the blood dripping down my foot. When he's done, he goes away and I start thinking if he just left me here, which I know is stupid, but my brain can't stop making weird scenarios up. "Show me your leg!" Austin says, kneeling down in front of me, cleaning my wound and putting a bandage over it. "All done!"

"Are you mad at me?" I ask at the same time as he speaks and he blushes, looking the other way, avoiding my eyes. "Where were you today?" He asks and as I open my mouth to answer he interrupts me. "Don't lie, Roxy came over, thinking you were here." I sigh and jump off from the counter, ignoring the pain in my leg. I wobble a little bit, despite my best effort, so Austin puts his hands up around me, ready to catch me if anything were to happen. I look him up and down, thinking about what I could say, I could just tell him the truth, but I haven't really told him much about mine and my dad's relationship. He waits patiently for me to answer and the way his arms are still around me, like waiting for a hug, makes me want to melt right into him, but I choose the childish part of me, pushing him away and walking past him.

"Did something happen?" His voice sounds like an echo and for a moment I feel like he didn't even speak and it was all my imagination. I turn around slowly, looking at his face, his eyes are read, teary. "Aus-"

"I know you weren't at Roxy's place, you didn't answer your phone, you were out shopping all day and yet, came back with no bags or nothing." Austin's hands are shaking, so I walk up to him slowly, taking his hands in mine, but he takes a step back, pulling away, which breaks my heart. "Can we sit down? I can explain everything." He shakes his head and I close my eyes taking a deep breath, preparing for the things I'm about to say.

"I was at Franks store, I did go out to buy somethings, but my head was somewhere else so I didn't get anything, just walked around." I start saying and he fiddles around with his hands. "Why?"

"I wanted to go Christmas tree shopping, but it just it hurt to much. I haven't gone shopping with anyone other than my dad, it was our thing, but I'm no longer a part of his life and it's, it's like slowly learning how to breathe again." His face saddens more, but this time, the sadness is pointed my way, and I appreciate his empathy, but I'd like if he'd stop. "I'm sorry I really am, it's just been hard on me to.." my voice breaks down and I lick my lips, tasting the salt of my tears.

Austin closes the distance between and hugs me tight. "You should have told me, I'm sorry, we don't have to go if you don't feel like it, baby" he says rubbing my back, holding me close to him. "I think if you go with me , I could do it. " he chuckles, kissing the top of my head and we stand hugging for a moment.

"Aus?" I ask softly something still on my mind. "Yeah?" "Is something wrong, you felt a little cold, you know, earlier." I feel him stiffen a bit, so I wiggle out of his arms to look up at him. "Well I was worried about you and my sister told me that she and the kids are down with some virus and can’t make it to Christmas, so I was just filled to the brim with worry." I smile at him, touching his hair lightly, placing some flyaway hairs back. "Oh my baby, want some hot cocoa? And how about we bake something?" I say, walking back to the kitchen counter and getting things ready for a feel better night. "Your butter cookies? With orange?" He asks puppy eyed, making me giggle. "Well I did just buy some oranges yesterday, so why even ask?" I say putting milk on the stove to warm up and already measuring the right amount of flour and sugar.

Between finishing the hot cocoa and adding the flour to the dough, someone decided to start a fight with flour, so we're now laughing, picking flour from our hair, as the cookies rise. "You're such a child." I chuckle, wiping his nose. "I just couldn't help myself" he shrugs, smirking at me.

The next morning we wake up as late as we can and now we're enjoying a shower together. His hands wash my skin tenderly, massaging all the stiff spots. "I don't think I'll ever get bored of washing your hair!" He admits, bubbling the shampoo between his hands, then applying it to my hair. "Well I'll never get bored of you washing my hair, so lucky for you!"

After what must have been the slowest start of day in months, we finally enter the Christmas tree market, hand in hand. Being here does feel weird without my dad, but not as bad as I thought. Austin squeezes my hand three times and that calms me a bit, so I take a deep breath, looking at all the trees. "Can we get a huge one?" I ask already having my eye on one. "I was thinking smaller, but whatever you want." He says, looking the opposite way the trees that are way too small for my liking. "How about two trees?" I suggest, smiling at him.

"Honey I don't think we'll fit in the elevator with this." Austin says, as he pull down the tree that's almost twice his height, from the roof of my heel. Driving around New York with this on top of the car was of course something out of a comedy. "So up the stairs?" I ask hoping he'd say "no"

"I think so." He sighs, looking with dread at the staircase door. "Ok then.." I say defeated, locking the car and getting ready to help him.

Around the 2nd floor it feels like I'm dying, we decided that best way was for me to go up pulling and him pushing form down. "I think we're going somewhere." I encourage, already cursing myself for not going to the gym enough. Austin laughs, form somewhere behind the tree branches. "Yeah the North Pole!" He jokes

On the 10th floor we  stop at the door of the apartment, him in better shape than me, but still just as tired. "You have no idea how lucky you are I love you!" Austin says, kissing my cheek. "I love you too!"

"Is it straight?" Austin asks from under the tree, trying to place it in the tree stand. "A little to the left!" I instruct. "My left? Or your left?" He asks, out of breath. "Mine, ugh no, yours. I don't know, can you get out of from there?" I ask and he comes to sit next to me. The tree is still very much crooked, but I think I like it this way. "I think I like it this way!" Austin says, rubbing my back. I snuggle into his side and stand on my tippy toes to kiss him. "I think I agree!"

"I think I love you!" He says, picking me up and spinning me around. "Did you notice that you kinda picked a tree looking like me and I picked one looking like you?" Austin jokes again, but as I look at the two Christmas trees, now realizing that the very obvious height difference does resemble the one me and Austin have between us. "I think we just did the funniest thing." I admit, going to the boxes on the floor and taking an ornament out, placing it in the smaller tree Austin chose. "Merry Christmas, y/n! I love you!" Austin says, placing and ornament in the tree I picked. "Merry Christmas Austin, I love you too!"

Tag list: @galaxygirl453

@rainydayz101

@samaraannhan20

@marlowmode

@myradiaz

@areuirish

@micaelainthe60s

@homebodybirkin2003

@pennyroyalcreep

@purejasmine

@strokesofstokes

@lanasfloridakiloss

@denised916

@kibumslatina

@macey234

@melodixs-blog

@shantellescrivener

@chewiethecatus

@guacala

@fangirl125reader

@father-of-2cats

@lucid315

@ashtag6887

@ilovehobi101

@richardslady121

@jensmithin

@julie181

@chrisevansgirl34

@ranaissingle

@onecrazydirectioner

@maria-1287

@austinbutlerssimp

@kingdomforapony

@acoolnight

@tarot-sybarite

@goldenmarygio

@frozenhuntress67

@anonyboo63478338

@littlewhiterose

@thefallofthedamned

@1eminicookie

@rose-deathman

@iheqrtaustin

@desitravelsblog

@prompted-wordsmith

@austinsvlrslut

@crystallizedth0t

@hertvgirl

@peanutbutterinacup

@austinswhitewolf

@saniyahgordon

@thatgirlthatreadswattpad

@slowsweetlove

@jaqueline19997

@formulapierre

[aventurinemylove]

FIRST TIME REQUESTING! So I have no clue if you're okay with what I'm ganna ask?

May I ask for a angst to fluff. (Only if you're okay with both in the request! unless you want it to be full angst) Like where reader/ y/n is near death (again only if your okay with it) wiith Dazai and Chuuya. (If you wish to add another one that's your choice!) It can be either a headcanon or short fic. Whichever one your more confterble with!

(Ps I love your smau au!)

Have a nice day/night/afternoon (it's 3:10 a.m for me 💀) but anyways if you can't accept my request I understand! But take care of yourself. ♡

A/n- OMG YOU DONT KNOW HOW FAST I GOT UP AND STARTED WRITING TYSM FOR THE REQ OMG AND IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE SMAU😭🫶

Close call

Dazai x reader and chuuya x reader (separate)

Genre-angst and fluff

Warnings- heavy topics, torture, blood, mori…

Songs to listen-skyfall adele,I bet on losing dogs mitski,francis forever mitski

Osamu Dazai

You were sent on a mission by yourself by Fukuzawa to gather information on a rival organization. You knew the risks of this but you were willing to risk it To give the Ada any type of advantage. Before your mission dazai told you to be more cautious about everyone and everything, he had a pitiful feeling in his stomach..the same feeling when he lost his dear friend, which left him wondering if his past finally catching up to him?

Ever since you left the feeling only got worse and worse, he couldn’t take it anymore it was eating him alive he felt a sense of guilt, and for the first time in year, he felt fear..? Something might have happens to you..days without contact or even texts all his texts were delivered you never left him on delivered. He couldn't take it anymore and decided he will look for you himself.

Meanwhile, you haven't texted Dazai due to leaving your work phone at the ADA in order to not cause any suspicion between you and your new boss however you couldn't stay like this forever he saw you rummaging through classified files which ended up with you having to reveal your identity causing you to fight. What surprised you was the ambush from behind which ended up with u getting stabbed in the chest and losing conscious.

Once he got there he was late...your body on the ground bleeding profusely, he couldn't believe it he failed you. The person he vowed to serve and protect you only to fail you. His heart aches at seeing you so motionless so still. He couldn't even form a word he couldn't even stand on his feet. “You're not gone [name] right..” his voice filled with sorrow and disbelief. If only he came earlier..he could've prevented this he wouldn’t have lost you.

He ran to your body and held it..for the first time in years he couldn’t mask his emotions how could he..you were special to him the only one keeping on this ground, but now that your gone he has no will to live no reason to be here. “[name] I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, you didn’t deserve this awful fate my love..I’m sorry”. You were still conscious you heard everything how u you wish you can tell him “everything’s going to be okay” but honestly not even you knew if your going to make it”

Dazai held u so close running towards the nearest hospital he could find without any second thought begging every doctor to treat you before it was to late. He didn’t leave your side the whole time you were unconscious, atsushi brought Dazai food and made sure to give him company and any ounce of hope he had.

It was almost a month since that event you haven’t woken up not even once…this left Dazai terrified he only thought of the worst outcome. Though before u hit one month of being unconscious you woke up, every emotion hitting you but the one hitting you the most was shock and fear. You couldn't believe you were alive, and you also wondered who brought you to the hospital but soon realization and memories hit you. Dazai found you laying unconscious, you couldn't help but have guilt. Your poor husband finding you unconscious and unresponsive was a horror to think about.

You were so deep in thought you didn't notice Dazai practically tugging you into a hug crying his eyes out on your shoulder. [name] my love I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I failed you I was so scared, I was so scared of you leaving me like everyone” he said between broken sobs. “Dazai dear I'm sorry for being so careless I really should've seen it coming” you say through your tears.

To say the least, dazai is happy you're alive and that's all that matters to him.

Nakahara Chuuya

You and Gin were sent on a mission personally requested by Mori, which was odd since usually, he would have you take missions with Chuuya since he had his suspicions here and there. You always found your boss “odd” he always figured out things even he was told which was a scary thought.

On the mission, you were told to play a fair person and your objective was to woe the victim over and that's when Gin strikes. Though it was easier said than done, during the night you felt like something was coming for you or that you were being watched but you pushed your thoughts away for the sake of the mission. You found something quite odd about your victim he looks like a former mafia member though you've never seen him, you feel like his name was mentioned somewhere.

Fortunately, before the night ended you got the victim to think that you were an innocent person trying to get help from him for your company on how to grow it etc. But he knew you were from the mafia he had his eyes on you ever since you stepped in, he knew Mori would send an executive to assassinate him during this party. You had a feeling that your facade was seen through like clear glass, which made the gut feeling start to tell you “leave” or “go home” but you knew being in the mafia your life was always on risk.

Chuuya on the other hand was sweating and shaking something was telling him to watch over you that night, he had a feeling Mori had some plan since usually he would send him with you and no one else. So while you and Gin were on your way to the party he followed you guys but decided to stay hidden until he felt he was needed.

You were unexpectedly brought a handkerchief to your mouth making you pass out. Otherwise, Gin was concerned about what could have happened to you, you weren't giving her any sign to strike..unless the struck first which had her panicking since she also didn't see the host anywhere. She Knew something was wrong, so through her headset she let everyone know “Code red, our executive is missing”. Just hearing this made Chuuya jump and head to the party area before he knew it, he was frantically searching for you everywhere in the area but had no luck he couldn't find you and this made him more frustrated he couldn't believe he took his eyes off you for a bit and you were MISSING.

It was days maybe 3 days since the incident they had you tied to a chair with handcuffs tied to both hands making it impossible to use your ability. You were so beat up all these days tortured just for some information you didn't have. “Now where is that supply box” he spoke, another hit towards your ribs but you stayed silent. “OH SO WE ARE GONNA PLAY THE SILENT GAME ARE WE?!” he says but before you were hit again the doors of the area were crushed open before you knew it Gin ran to you and untied you, and carried you to the truck where they already had a medical professional on board.

Meanwhile, chuuya made sure this man was dead and he made sure that he paid for what he did to you. Chuuya had rage in him, the state he found you in made me sick and sad, how could this asshole do this to you. After his job was chuuya got back to the truck where the doctor talked to him. “Sir they will be unconscious for a few days maybe a few hours if lucky but they had a few broken ribs and a few bruises to the head”. He couldn't believe what he heard, he felt the rage he had earlier come back to him, but he kept his composer just nodded to the doctor.

He was now facing you he felt his heart shatter to 100 pieces the pain and guilt he felt was eating him alive. “If only I got there earlier” or “I should've taken the mission but compared to other missions this was one of the least dangerous. He knelt near your bed while holding your hand slowly letting the tears down.

After 3 days you finally open your eyes looking around the unfamiliar room it looked nothing like the mafia hospital room which relieved you, you didn't have to deal with mori and his annoying overbearing antics, how u hated him and wanted someone to take his spot.

While lost in thought u turn to see flowers and a note on the bedside, you grabbed them smiling to yourself already knowing who it was. As you looked at the flowers you open the note slightly smiling as you read. “My dearest [name] I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you as I vowed to you I will, so after you feel better let me take you out to eat, sincerely yours Chuuya Nakahara” but before you finished you saw the end “ps I’ll visit you later I'm on a mission right now”. You never knew how you got lucky with such a man but honestly, it did take you guys a while to be where you are at right now.

Later…

You were sitting down reading a book when you heard the hospital door bust open, at first you thought it was an enemy attack but you were relieved to see Chuuya at the door with a little box at hand. “My love” you heard Chuuya speak “I got you this,” he says as he gives you the box. You were shocked, to be honest, you weren't expecting anything so when u recognized the jewelry box you began to cheer up. “Thank you dear you didn't have to,” you say smiling at him while opening the box, to your surprise there was a gorgeous necklace that you'd been wanting for a while but couldn't get your hands on it, so it was surprising to see Chuuya get ahold of such an item.

You felt your eyes start to tear up as you pulled Chuuya into a tight hug and whispered “Thank you my love I couldn't ask for someone more amazing than you”. Chuuya was surprised by your sudden action but didn't complain at all. “My love I'm sorry for not being there on time,” Chuuya said his voice cracking “If maybe I was there earlier this could've been avoided”. “Chuuya it's ok, I'm fine I'm here with you look on the bright side at least we got him” you say softly.

Chuuya knew you were right, he was just happy you were alive and with him still.

[pirozhkiparty]

🖤♥️Huskerdust fic recs💖🖤

There's a severe lack of hazbin fic recs on here and I'm here to remedy that with my fav couple (since so far all the stuff I've read centers them)

Always make sure to read the tags~

Overlord Husk AUs

(I'm a firm believer in the "hell yeah, two cakes!" rule. Cannot get enough of overlord Husk fics)

Call Your Bluff by RazzAppleMagic - the very first overlord Husk fic I read and boy is it wonderful. deals with drug recovery and Angel learning to love himself. the slowburn is well worth the wait. There is also a podfic version of it by Rambling_Company

Disco Inferno by DeusExMachina - Set before Angel signed a contract with Val. Husk takes him in and helps Angel go overlord

Someone You Can Bet On by Shigariope - Major fluff alert! Angel goes to Husk's casino to ask Husk to help him get out of his contract with Val. Husk does, in the form of a (fake) marriage.

call me when you want, call me when you need by Spades - Husk wins a night with Angel, rather than his soul. Super sweet fic and the pining on Husk's part is strong.

Lucky Bastard by PoppyFieldWrites - Angel meets a hottie bartender while at the casino with Val. Turns out that bartender is none other than the gambling overlord himself

The House Edge by vixensheart - while out working the streets, Angel gets picked up by a wealthy looking individual. Only thing is though, this guy doesnt wanna bang, just wants Angel to rest and get an injury looked at.

Human AUs

At the End of Extinction by The_Bad_Samaritan - zombie apocalypse au, yep you heard that right. Husk finds a five-year-old Charlie in a zombie infested wasteland and with the help of solo traveler Angel, they go on a cross-country road trip to reunite her with her parents. This fic will keep you on your toes, trust me.

So Much (For) Stardust by Kima - War vet Husk is big pissed that he has to bartend at a club that Alastor owns, especially when one of the drag performers there pisses him off to no end, it also doesnt help that he has an obnoxious next door neighbor that always has loud sex. Surely those two things aren't related in any way.

glitter & bows by angelsfizz - Angel works at Claires at the mall and a lost kid wanders through, then when her dad comes to retrieve her, Angel has a massive gay panic because hubba hubba this guy's hot.

Could be Canon

When We Meet Again by rainbowpandas and RockyRants - we all knew this was coming. how could I leave out this fandom classic? if you haven't already read this masterpiece, Angel and Husk slowly regain their memories of when they were alive. Turns out they knew each other and were lovers. Mixes in flashbacks of their pasts with the story and will for sure leave an impact on you.

soft & tender by Spades - sweet and sensual oneshot of the two of them after they get together. Domestic, tooth-rotting, show-stopping.

Changing Channels by Onlymostlydead - a video of Angel's comes on during channel surfing in the lobby, the thing is though, he has no memory of filming it. Hurt/comfort with protective Chaggie and Husk. Read the tags for this one very carefully.

Shameless self recs

(Don't mind me self-promoting)

Bottom shelf erotica - this au was made by @/cyberrat and they let me write a fic for it. Husk is a fluffer at Val's studio and Angel is absolutely smitten for him.

little pink lies - Husk hits his head and gets temporary amnesia. Angel thinks it would be hilarious to prank him by saying that they are married.

Ulterior Motives (tell me the truth) - you can probably guess what the inspo was from the title alone. Husk hears a snippet of a song that he can't quite find the origin of. Just his luck that its from a porno starring nonother than the hotel's most obnoxious resident.

Let me know if I messed up any of the links~

[harleehazbinfics]

Blue Roses | Helluva Fic

✓ author profile

Synopsis: To continue his apology tour, Blitz goes to his ex-bestfriend's place to give an apology.

Hi! Yeah, I watched the Apology Tour EP and I loved it, mostly cuz I liked the songs and how they made Blitz suffer lmao- but hey! I made a fic to live our delulu to. Hope you enjoy! (i just really needed to get this out of my system it's been bubbling in my brain the whole day)

"Heyyyyy bitch."

I roll my eyes as his annoying voice swept across my office. I give him a sigh, then dropping my pen onto the desk to look at him and ask, "What do you want, Blitz?"

"Oh nothing, nothing. Just wanted to drop by and give you these flowers. I knew how much you liked them," he answers feigning confidence as he tosses a bouquet of blue roses, "You know how much I had to pay for that shit? It's hell and you pick the blue ones as your favorite IN HELL."

My eyes widen in surprise as I looked at the roses. I could already smell delightful scent of them. They certainly are genuine but the Blitz I knew would never give these to me just because.

"Are you high?" I asked him skeptically.

He scoffs and retorts, "God! No, I'm not! Lay off my dick, will ya? I just wanted to do something nice for once and this is the shit I get."

He plops down on my couch with a groan as he buries his head down in his hands. I couldn't help but feel pity for him. I frown looking at him then at the flowers before walking slowly towards him.

I put my hand on his shoulder and give him a small smile, "Thanks, Blitz. They're lovely."

He looks back at me with empty eyes before nodding in acknowledgement while I sit beside him placing the flowers on the coffee table.

"I heard you went to Ver's party on earth," I started, I saw him tense up, "You really have balls to go to a party that's just for hating you, you know?"

"Or just really stupid," he admits making me laugh.

"No no. I think your little apology tour went well, no?" I challenged him.

"Yeah, a real eye opener. I couldn't even get a wink of sleep last night," he sighs rubbing his sore eyes. "I'm surprised you weren't there honestly. We haven't talked in years after I just bailed on you."

"Oh, please don't compare me to your petty exes. I, at least, have some class," I say striking a posing before quickly jabbing my thumb at the pile of papers behind us, "And a fuck load of paperwork from Asmo and Fizz."

He stays silent letting me ramble on, "I don't hate you, Blitz. I just knew you had other shit to deal with and so do I. As much as I loved staying as kids with you and Fizz. I, we, had to grow up eventually. After the circus burnt down, I had to work odd jobs to get back on my feet."

"Wanna know what I dreamt of then?"

"What?"

"I dreamt that I made a lot of money, made a name for myself. So that I never had to worry about you guys being sold to someone, so we could make our own circus, we could do what we wanted to do the most. So, I did. But when I got what I wanted, I saw you doing your own shit with the IMPS and Fizz being a star for Mammon, I just couldn't but feel lonely, y'know?"

"Look, I'm sorr--"

"But I'm really happy that I got to see you again and that's all that matters to me."

He looks at me teary eyed which he quickly wipes before they could fall making me laugh at his tough guy act.

I stood up from my spot and held out my hand for him, "Looks like you had a shitty week. Wanna get Fizzy and get out for some drinks at Beelz?"

Finally, a smile crept on Blitz' face and accepted my hand. "Oh, bet."

"Alright! ASMO *bang* I'M BORROWING YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

The Unwanted Visitor pt 2

Part 1's here, enjoy! (And yes I am desperately trying to work out why I can find a way to finish APNS, which is why you're getting this filler fluff instead)

As we sat, I heard the scuffling of feet. Looking up, I found my parents standing in the hallway, staring at us like we'd grown ourselves extra heads.

It was a fairly normal occurrence, of course. They were terrified of Visitor, and spent most of their time either assuring themselves that he didn't exist or threatening to leave. They never did, in the end, because he never took things too far and they were too much of a pair of cowards to do anything about him.

"Well, hello, Mr and Mrs O'Dell," Visitor smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. It was a shark's grin, all teeth and no humour. “How lovely to see you two. Won't you come eat with us?”

"I-" My mother stared at him like a frightened rabbit and scurried into the kitchen, where I had left the salad and bacon out for her. Belatedly, my father hurried after her.

"Don't do that," I said tiredly. "They'll think you're gonna kill them or something."

Visitor smirked. "Perhaps I will. Someday," he said, menacingly.

I rolled my eyes. "You've been at it for over a decade now. If you haven't killed me so far, I'll bet good money that you won't ever do it," I told him. Deep down, I suspected he wouldn't hurt me, if only because he treasured having someone to argue with.

"You can't know that for sure," Visitor pointed out, still smiling.

"Yes, I can." I finished my coffee (which was already half gone, thanks to Visitor) and stood up, collecting the plates. "Besides, if you kill me, who's going to give you food?"

"I'll steal it," he said, affecting confidence.

"And how's that working out for you?" I grinned back.

"Shut up," he snapped, the classic signal that I'd won this round. I decided not to push him any further and went into the kitchen, where my parents had perched in the corner.

"Mom, Dad, you really need to stop being afraid of Vis. It encourages him," I scolded.

My mother opened her mouth, and promptly shut it again, before saying, "How do we know he won't hurt us?"

I sighed. "Mom, if he hasn't hurt you in the 10 years he's lived here, he's probably not going to."

"He threatened to kill us!" My father pointed out, shaking with rage or fear. Probably fear.

"Yeah, he's threatening to kill you, but he doesn't mean it," I explained. "It's all a bit of fun."

My parents exchanged glances, then turned to me. "Fun," they echoed.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound convincing. We'd done this song and dance for far too long for me to retain any hope of truly convincing them.

"How can you even say that? He's a demon. A monster," my mother said, shaking her head.

"Yes, and? He hasn't actually harmed you. I mean, aside from breaking the window and hiding your car keys. And the time he set the oven on fire. And the other time he broke the windows. And-"

"You're just proving our point here! He's dangerous!" Gods, I was getting sick of their nonsense. If they were truly in so much danger, we would have moved out by now.

"I was just getting to the good parts!" It was a jest, of course, but they took it far too seriously, as they always did.

"Like the part where he burnt the house down?" My father crossed his arms, as though to exert his authority. Unfortunately, I hadn't respected him since the day he pissed himself upon seeing the dead moose Visitor had brought into the house. Honestly, a bit of gore and they were all fainting over themselves.

"Yeah, no, he's never done that," I said thoughtfully. "That'd be a good trick, though. Imagine the look on your face. Oh, yeah, speaking of which, Mom, the house isn't burning down, is it?"

"What? No." My mother glanced around frantically, sniffing the air, as though to detect a hint of smoke.

"Well, it could be," I said, turning away and dismissing them. "Visitor! If you're done eating, can you do the dishes, please?"

"No." I heard the sound of a chair scraping and felt the signature breeze of his movement.

"Fine. I'll do them myself." I picked up a cloth and began to clean the dishes, ignoring my parents. They eventually decided that they had more important things to do (such as not coming face to face with Visitor, apparently) and wandered off.

"That was rude," I commented, when I felt the breeze swirl around me.

"So was asking me to do the dishes," he retorted, appearing (this time, sans the dumb t-shirt) right beside me.

"You're right, I'm sorry." I glanced down at him with a smile. Every now and then it was a good thing to apologise. Hurting Visitor's ego too much led to him making angry outbursts, such as the bird incident. I never wanted a repeat of the bird incident. "I was just trying to show my parents that you aren't as scary as they think."

"And why would you want them to think that? This way, you have all the power," he said.

"True, but they'll keep bugging me, and you by proxy." I sighed.

"I can live with that." He leaned over and picked up a plate, drying it with the towel.

"Thank you, Vis. For helping me." I meant it, surprisingly. It had taken a long time for him to like me enough to help me out with chores.

"Of course. After all, you made me breakfast," he said tiptoeing up to ruffle my hairm

I smiled and we continued to clean the dishes together. "By the way," he said as we polished the last dish, "It's 9:45 now."

I froze and looked up at the clock. So it was. 9:46, in fact. And my school started at 10:15. "Goddamn it, Vis. You couldn't remind me earlier? Now I'm going to be late for school, you little bastard!" I threw the dishcloth down and made a beeline for my bag. Swinging it over my shoulder, I ran for the door and hopped on my bike.

Taglist down here:

@coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch @ramwritblr, @urnumber1star, @fortunatetragedy, @bigwipscholar, @ratedn

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west

@finicky-felix, @evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms

@drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @owldwagitoutofyou, (Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[paisholotus]

What You Heard?

Shuri x black fem reader

Summary: You and Shuri get into an argument, and you end up breaking up with her, including your engagement. She finds you at the club with your friends, but sees you alone being man handled.

Warnings: Strong Language, Possessive Shuri

Requested By: Anonymous

Translations: Sthandwa( My love) Intombazana yomntwana ( Baby Girl) Umfazi wam ( My Wife)

A/N: inspired by the song what you heard by Brent Faiyaz

Y/N Pov

"EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU DO THIS SHIT! I try to schedule time for us, but you always change your plans to go to THAT FUCKING LAB YOU'RE ALWAYS IN!" I yelled at Shuri in a rage, my eyes burning from tears.

Shuri glared at me angrily as she slammed her glasses to the ground and wiped her face. "Y/N! I AM QUEEN OF THE MOST POWERFUL NATION! OKAY? I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO CONSIDER. YOU ARE NOT FIRST PRIORITY! PUSH THAT RIGHT THRU YOUR SKULL!" She shouted in my face.

I took a step back, allowing the pain of her words to wash over me. I wiped my cheeks angrily, snatching off my kimoyo beads, breaking them. I smirked at her and nodded. "Ight, I bet you won't have to worry about me, no time soon."

I took one last look at her and walked out her lab, and her life.

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It's been eight months...

I haven't spoken to or seen Shuri, and I didn't really have any plans to. The three years we've spent together have been a complete waste of time. And she didn't even try to communicate with me; she just threw herself into that cold lab.

Given that I am aware of her ongoing grief over the loss of her mother and brother, I understood the strain of being Queen. But I made an effort to talk to her and try to console her. But she only seemed to get angrier and shorter with me. And I was FULLY aware that her country comes first, but DAMMNIT!, I WAS YOUR FIANCE! And for her to simply say what she said, made me feel as though I didn't matter.

In order to avoid ruining my makeup, I quickly dried my eyes before turning to look at the ring on my dresser.

I moved back to America. Got my own apartment, a new job, and I changed my number just to be sure Shuri couldn't contact me.

Tonight I was going out with my friends, and i just put the finishing touches on my hair and makeup.

My phone starts to ring with the same unknown number that's been calling all day, so I decided to answer it.

“hello” I said, answering the call. As i propped my phone up on my dresser. “long time no see, Sthandwa.” the person said, making my whole body freeze. I sat my pallet down, and it was no other than, Shuri.  “how did you get this number?” i said. Applying highlighter to my cheeks, the bright gold shade matching my dress.

“Do you honestly think, I didn’t know where you were? You're my WIFE” she said. Bringing a glass to her lips, that had dark brown liquor in it. “where you going?” she asked me. I scrunched up my face and gave her a unbothered look. “Out” I responded plainly as i picked up my earrings. “out where?” she asked again with more authority in her voice. Any other time that would have turned me on, but I was determined to not let her get to me.

“first of all who are you talking to like that? And why you worried about where I'm going? I ain't first priority remember? Fuck You calling me for? You ain't my parent!” i yelled at her, rolling my eyes. Shuri was quiet for a few seconds, as she looked at me. I stared back into her eyes through the camera, and she tilted her head to the side and smirked. “you look beautiful ” she said as she licked her lips. I huffed and mumbled an "thank you" as I went to go look for my shoes.

"So you're not going to answer my question, Intombazana yomntwana?" I looked at her with irration and smirked. Slowly walking towards the phone putting extra sway in my hips, and bended down. "Nope. But I'm sure imma have somebody entertaining me tonight. You just worry about that it's not gonna be you." I said, ending the call before she could say anything else.

I walked downstairs grabbing my keys and walked out the door, to meet my friends.

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Shuri's Pov

I see, she thinks she's funny. I thanked Okoye before getting into the car. Now, I gave us some distance for more than 8 months and allowed her to believe that she could easily elude me.

And now she believes that she can simply go out with her 'friends' and have both women and men touch what is mine? Oh, I fucking don't think so.

So when I get to this club and finally bring her home, she better act like she already know what  it is. She think she finna give up my pussy and she not. She think she's done with me and she's not. If she thinks we're over, WE'RE NOT! SHE MY WIFE.

I brought the brown liquor to my lips and took a squig out of it.

Fuck your mind up, waste time

I'm prone to that, do it all the time

Keep your guard up or wait in line

You don't need me, please believe me

This ain't easy, you know I've been feindin'

Let me unleash my demons on you

I know that I neglected her and screwed up. But when we went our separate ways, I worked towards keeping my temper in check and also used that time to grieve my loss properly.

What's the word? Tell me what you've heard

Don't tell me what to do, just tell me when it hurts

I would hear whispers and talk about how cold I became towards her. I didn't want to be that way, anymore. So I focused and meditated and tried to find peace within myself. But now I was ready for Umfazi wam to come home.

I walked in the club pushing sweaty bodies out of my way, looking for Y/N. Okoye was ordered to remain outside because I didn't need her assistance.

I combed through the crowd looking for her, but the loud, awful music made it difficult for me to even hear myself think. Then I noticed her dancing on an unsightly man on the balcony.

As I walked over to her, shoving more people out my way, my jaw clenched. But I stopped when I saw that she was attempting to push him away and that he was acting roughly towards her, grabbing her throat.

When I get you to myself, it's murder

In seconds I grabbed the bastard and pushed him up against the wall. Y/N rushed over to me, pleading with me not to kill this man.

I looked at him menacingly, seeing fear in his eyes and seeing him shake visibly. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "If I EVER see you lay your DISGUSTING ASS HANDS ON MY WIFE AGAIN, IT'LL BE THE LAST DAY YOU BREATH AIR THROUGH YOUR PATHETIC LUNGS!" And returned his gaze, "Do I make myself clear?" I asked him, dangerously low.

He nodded quickly and I let go of him, watching him scurry away.

What the fuck you call this? Hopeless, not romantic

I ain't got no kids, so don't be so childish

You be wildin', I be wildin', too

But not like you, shit, maybe a little like you

Maybe we ain't so different, maybe I be trippin', too

I turned to Y/N, and she tried to run, but I grabbed the back of his dress and yanked her around to face me, clutching her jaw. “if you ever do something so stupid like you did tonight  again, you’re gonna be in a world of fucking trouble” I said. She nodded rapidly, in hopes that i would release her. "Now we going back to that apartment to grab your stuff, then we going back to Wakanda. Do I make myself clear?" She eagerly nodded, and I leaned down kissing her forehead, and grabbed her hand.

"Wait what about my friends?" She asked me. "I'll send Ayo to come get them." I told her.

Okoye opened the car door for us, and I drew YN onto my lap and kissed her on the neck, then kissed her lips. moaning filled the car as she started to grind on my leg, I let her move at her own pace. Letting her push me backwards into the car seat.

You ain't gotta worry

Bout a thing, bout a thing

You ain't gotta worry

Bout a thing, bout a thing

I pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes. "Sthandwa, please accept my apologies. I know I messed up and hurt you, but I'm willing to go to any length to reclaim your love and trust. Let me try for you. Let me try for us."

"You going to let me try for us, baby?" She nodded and gave a small smile. I pressed my forehead against hers and brushed my lips against hers. “i love you ma”

[scandalouslamb]

Send Me a Character & I'll Tell You✨️ - Festus

Ask Game

Thanks, anon! I feel like I haven't talked about Festus in a bit...

My first impression

(Somehow, I had heard about him before I read the book.) Snow has a friend who's like a golden retriever? huh. interesting.

My impression now

Wow, whoever I talked to pre-reading the book really misled me into thinking he was a one-note golden retriever type. He's like so empathetic and sweet to people he's close to, but he can be so callous at times. I love it!

I am also less vocal about it than with Felix, but I also have visions of dissecting Festus. Pulling back the layers, but like imagined visually.

Favorite thing about that character

The dogfights. I'm not joking. The moment he mentioned them in the book, I was all in. I was invested.

Least favorite thing

Needed more of him (me with every mentor). Wish we could have seen more of him. I would have loved to hear more about him and Lysistrata in the Epilogue especially.

Favorite line/scene

“I couldn’t save her,” he said. “I couldn’t stop the blood.” “I don’t think anyone could have. At least you tried. That’s what matters,” Festus consoled him. [...] “Come to my place,” Festus said, but when they reached his apartment, he suddenly broke into tears. They saw him onto the elevator and said good night. (Ch. 7)

I just know he's a good friend, okay? He might make you super uncomfortable (Coriolanus and the Train Station Alleyway Bet <- and i personally have always read this as very uncomfortable), but he's like trying? Which counts for something in my book. In the Capitol.

Favorite interaction that character has with another

This was going to go in the above section originally, but then I decided it fit better here:

Heavensbee Hall erupted around Coriolanus, and Festus organized a few classmates to lift his chair and parade him around the dais. (Ch. 20)

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

What I would give for Festus and Sejanus interactions in the book. I want to see what type of behavior led to his invite to the post-mortem birthday party memorial.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

Berga Gandor from B!, and yes, I know that no one know who that is. Alternatively, there is another character, but I think I'd get beat to death in an alley if I made that comparison, so I won't. I just think people would misinterpret what parts of each character, I'm trying to compare.

A headcanon about that character

I think he has like normal Capitolite parents. They are just the average sort you'll find. I named them Daphne and Meleager because Greek Mythology tree related names (I also named them in like February, so idk, maybe I could come up with better names now, but I've gotten used to them).

Anyway, the Creed parents are you know in a marriage of convenience. Meleager's not particularly present but not really absent. Daphne's just kind of sitting pretty and a little bit of an alcoholic but from the sounds of it most of the adults in the Capitol are having problems with alcohol. Festus can't really connect with them very well, but their dysfunction isn't as bad as... some other families both in canon or otherwise (my Ravinstills)...

A song that reminds of that character

Need More Bandages by the Mountain Goats. idk, I just do. Y'all, I am music illiterate.

An unpopular opinion about that character

I've said it a couple times, but I can imagine movie! Festus being him at his most callous. Like I'm still bummed out that he doesn't have any of his nicer scenes in the movie, but I can still imagine book! Festus acting like that in the right circumstances. I still understand why people make the distinctions between the two though. The movie's framing is def wanting us to read him as a more antagonistic character.

Favorite picture

Picture of Festus I've had saved for a while, because I liked it, but there wasn't enough movement to make a gif.

[oh-hush-its-perfect]

how the hoo characters would react upon being asked about taylor swift

PERCY: She's pretty good. Yeah, I listened to the new version of Speak Now and it kinda went harder than I thought it would. I'm not, like, a "worship the ground she walks on" kinda guy, but I guess I like enough of her songs to consider myself a Swiftie. Guilty pleasure, I guess.

ANNABETH: Oh, gosh. People always ask me this. Uh, long story short— oh, right, that's one of her songs. That's kinda funny— I liked her music a lot when I was younger. Like, "Better than Revenge" was my thing when I was fifteen. And, yeah, I've listened to most of her albums. I liked Midnights and folklore and evermore. But I was never in love with her as a person. I just relate to some of her songs. Oh, gods, I couldn't count how many times I've cried to "Would've, Could've, Should've." But I heard someone call her the "greatest songwriter of our generation," and that's just... That's a bit bizarre for me. I think she's good as an artist, though. So... I guess I like her music, but I'm definitely not a Swiftie.

PIPER: Uhhh, I don't know. Like, her music is terrible or anything, but it's not really my taste. But as a person? I don't know, the whole Matty Healy thing just rubbed me the wrong way, and... I mean, she's a rich white lady doing rich white lady things. My dad asked me if I wanted her at my birthday party once. I said no, but I also said no to the Regrettes, and I'm literally in love with Lydia Knight. I'm happy for her with the tour and all, but not really my scene, no. But Jason likes her so I try to be supportive.

JASON: Oh, my gods. She's like... I don't know if she's my favorite artist, but she's up there. I mean, like, she's just so classy and her music is just so good. The way she uses synths is like... it's like magic. And her lyrics— I mean, you can't get much more relatable than that. My favorite album is probably... Lover? Or maybe Red. Then again, maybe it's 1989. It's so hard to pick. I guess I'm kind of a hopeless romantic at the end of the day.

LEO: Taylor Swift? Well, like, she's hot.

THALIA: Not really my style. But if she did a punk-pop or metal album, I'd be down for that. Like, I heard a metal cover of "Look What You Made Me Do" once, and it went so hard. She's really got a good voice for punk, too. Saw a video of her doing a vocal growl on that one song— uh, what's it called? "We are Never Getting Back Together" or something like that? Anyway, that sounded really good. But I don't really like her environmental impact. You could ask Rachel about that. I bet she'd have a lot to say.

RACHEL: Taylor— Listen. Don't get me started on Taylor Swift. Her music is mediocre at best, and her carbon footprint? Holy Hades! I saw somewhere that that one study that said 8,000 tonnes was wrong and it's actually more like 1,000 tonnes, but that was taken from half of a year during a global pandemic. She wasn't even touring or anything. The woman's a multimillionaire. With that kind of money, you would think that she'd be more environmentally conscious, but no. Not at all. And I guess it's cool or whatever that she pays her people well, but, like, that's the bare minimum. Taylor Swift. I didn't like her before all that about her environmental impact and stuff came out, and I definitely don't like how she dates racist guys, and I hate the way people worship her and follow her like lemmings, y'know?

HAZEL: Who?

FRANK: Oh, she's good, I suppose. Never got super invested in her or her music or anything. I don't really know anything about her except that people love her, and her singles are fine, I guess. I liked that one song "cardigan."

NICO: Uh, I feel like people shouldn't really ask me about music. My music taste kinda sucks. But sure, Taylor Swift makes some good music. Annabeth played me a few songs once. I really liked "Haunted," I think it's called.

REYNA: I don't follow her life and I haven't listened to any of her albums or anything. I mostly listen to Latin music, to be honest. But she's a woman and she's extremely successful, so I suppose I'm happy for her.

[Coach Hedge immediately starts singing "Shake It Off" when asked and did not provide any further comment.]

OCTAVIAN: I can't believe some people call that trash "music." It's so low-brow and vapid. Only eleven year old girls actually like that kind of thing. Me, I listen to real music— the classics, like Mozart. My favorite song by him is definitely "Canon in D."

[amaiguri]

Wanna see the business side of story-based games?

Me! I want to! 👋 Hi, I'm Amaiguri. I'm a full time gamedev and I've released two games before and correctly predicted how much money I would make each time! Wow!

I've been considering converting the webfic I write into a story game of some kind -- a visual novel or a RPGmaker game or maybe even a walking sim? But I didn't know what I wanted to make!

This story has been THE STORY of my early adult life here -- it is SO important to me. So, while I'm a huge advocate of making whatever you want, I wanted to ensure whatever I put my effort into would be VAGUELY marketable. (Because, lemme tell you, webnovels are not marketable XD)

Before I dive in too deeply, **BIG DISCLAIMER**:

I am not a business person. I am using big, wide guestimates to make non-essential business decisions with myself. BUT I want to share my learnings with you. So, take everything I say with a grain of salt and JOIN ME on this journey:

Earlier this month, I made a post about wanting to make a visual novel. Specifically, a kinetic visual novel where you don't make choices and you just read basically. SO I've now done research into how well they sold. I used THIS website to determine how much money each of these games made (VERY loosely):

Juniper's Knot: ~$4k USD

Higurashi (The Whole Series): ~$300k USD (Averaging like 400 reviews per game and $50 for the whole bundle)

House in Fata Morgana: ~$1 million USD

I picked these out mostly because these are the small handful of kinetic novels I have actually heard about. I'm not saying there aren't other, more successful ones I haven't heard about but I figure, if I'm supposed to be representative of my target audience, I'm as good of a sample as any for this wild estimation.

Besides, Higurashi has a whole anime -- it is definitely fair to use that as an upper end -- and Juniper's Knot -- a tiny game no one has heard of -- as the lower end. (I mean, $0 is the lower end, but... you know...)

This paints a pretty stark picture, honestly. Like, this is looking at 6 to 8 years of work for... maybe a couple thousand for me? Realistically? Maybe up to $300k if I'm super lucky and go viral? And I'm not saying that isn't LIFE CHANGING money but like in the MOST MIRACULOUS scenario here, I am compensated less than my current salary for my current magnum opus. But realistically, I'm looking at maybe $1-4k if I get lucky. I'm not a horror-writer and I'm not a romance writer -- I will not have THAT feral of a fanbase XD And on top of all of that, I don't even play that many kinetic visual novels. I'm barely in my own target demo here!

Now, compare that to the numbers I ran on RPGmaker games where you just do narrative and there is very minimal gameplay:

Rakuen: 4000+ Reviews, over $100k in profits estimated

To the Moon: $8 Million in profit

A Bird Story: Definitely sold worse than To the Moon, was cheaper to make and cheaper to buy -- estimated at $397k

Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea: Dunno cuz it's free BUT its manga adaptation has 267 reviews on Amazon -- so the creator COULD have made bank on the actual game

See how much higher those are? Even when they're not as well known? And sure, the bottom is still $0 ultimately but the upper limit, with the most successful of these titles (and incidentally, the video game that convinced me to get into Game Design) is much much higher.

"BUT BELLE! Laura Shigihara did the music on a lot of those! You don't have Laura Shigihara!"

Ok BET! I'll hire her! The base industry rate for music per minute is $100/min. Let's suppose now she charge 10x that, cuz she's famous -- $1k/minute of music. I get her to compose a 3 minute song for $3k BUT she also brings over... say... 5% of her audience to check out my game.

That's admittedly, a high conversion rate so we'll just take 5% of Rakuen. Now, I'm imagining I'd charge like $25/copy of my game because it's gonna be like 300k words -- people pay $25 for a book of that length, so if I have art and programming also, I can do that. With just her 5% of Rakuen reviewers (21 reviewers of her 4.3k), that's like $7k USD. So, she'd probably just pay for herself and then some.

And to top all this off: I'm back in the target demo. I am ABSOLUTELY the kind of person who will play a solodev's RPGmaker game and forgive all jank and flaws and lack of gameplay if the story, art, and music are good.

That is, of course, making the assumption that I'll make good music and art 🥺🥺🥺

Now obviously, all this is WILD guestimates so like. You shouldn't make business decisions off this. I'm barely making "business" decisions -- I'm making hobby decisions. I have a full time job and I intend to keep it. BUT I think it's pretty clear where the potential money might be for me -- RPGmaker games.

Eris (Blinking): Thank you for reading!

[weyesbloodgf]

Hi, tell us of Tamino

tamino is a belgian-egyptian singer and he has the most beautiful voice ever..... my favorite songs of his are tummy, fascination, cigar, my dearest friend and enemy, crocodile, the first disciple, habibi and indigo night!! and also his covers of mariners apartment complex, my kind of woman, and i bet you look good on the dancefloor are impeccable. you should go check him out if you haven't heard him before!! AND in addition to all of this he is gorgeous....

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

I think the fact that songs like Don't Blame Me, Wildest Dreams and Enchanted became Tik Tok hits + the released rerecords in recent years is part of what made the setlist "odd". She had these old songs that people, specifically casually fans, had recently (re-)discovered, which meant focusing on only the newly released material, as she usually did, would leave out actual recent hits.

I'm sorry this is a bit of a rant, but I just cannot agree with this at all.

"Focusing on new material would leave out actual recent hits"? Outside of ME! and arguably I Bet You Think About Me, what massive hits since her last tour did we miss with less time of the setlist attributed to those albums than arguably otherwise would have been? So with more time being allocated to it like usually happens (though I would argue that outside of the 1989 tour [which was very deliberately nearly only 1989] all of Taylor's concerts have had a good balance of old and new). Like idk I guess you could arguably say that had she not done it this way, she wouldn't have done 3 hours worth and some may get cut from that, but that's making assumptions and even before we knew the setlist, most of us were guessing that it'd be her longest setlist and would range from 2.5 - 3 hours so I can't get on board that actual hits would be missed out. If anything, I think deep cuts would have been.

I also disagree completely that the tiktok/rerecorded hits made it weird because all of them were either fan faves (DBM, Enchanted, ATW), a good enough representation of their album that she almost named it that so works perfectly on the setlist (Enchanted) and/or singles that likely would have made the setlist either way (Wildest Dreams and now ATW). Like all of these songs work well in the setlist. And my hot take in general within this fandom is that I don't think it's a bad thing if she makes tour setlists for the locals. Every artist has to to some degree and I love most her singles lmao.

In my honest opinion, what makes it weird is that there's so many songs, a big chunk of it is half songs without there being any mashups. Like Taylor showed us in the Reputation tour that she can easily execute medleys (style/love story/ybwm) and I just don't really understand why she didn't do that if she was going to do half songs and wanted to get in as many songs as she could anyway? And tbh? Ultimately I feel like the amount of songs/it being half songs is only weird because Taylor doesn't usually do it so we're not used to it. So that's not even the issue I have.

The aspect that my brain can't get past is the deliberate era sections and callout at the start of the show on having each and every era just to not have one era and barely have another era. Like had she not put that emphasis on it, I wouldn't have even expected a debut song and would have only expected Enchanted like we got, and I've been saying that for months. So like yes, I am specifically a little sad that Tim McGraw itself was cut out (because I feel like it's perfect to have on the setlist of the ERAS tour celebrating her career as her first song. Also selfishly I haven't heard it live before so was hoping to), but like I said, it's more about the cognitive dissonance of the focus being each era just to like not be.

Also, and I'm not saying that you've done this anon, just in general, I resent that people are implying that myself or anyone else who wasn't 100% over the moon about the setlist came into it with unrealistic expectations. Like I have been the one sitting here since Folklore came out saying that the next tour was going to be for the casual fans. I have sat here having accusations thrown at me for years that I didn't think Taylor loved her fans because I thought her playing Long Live nightly was a pipedream on tour while everyone around me thought it was a sure in. My tour prediction setlist was 95% hits/casual fans faves and/or Midnights tracks with a few stan faves thrown in. I am the last person anyone had to convince that debut wasn't going to get the spotlight. But I don't think it was unrealistic to take her cues of saying that each era being represented and that it was going to be a show about her whole career, not 2018 - now like we expected, and think that that was going to be the case and be a little disheartened when it wasn't. Like (from what I've seen) nobody is saying that they'll be upset forever and this has ruined the tour for them, we're all just a little confused and sad.

Anyway as I've said for the last day now, I am still sure that it probably feels better (less rushed/more intimate) in person and I am still excited for my show, but the livestreams don't reflect that for me personally. Like it just doesn't feel like there's much room to breathe, which I understand is less of an issue in the moment when you're full of adrenaline. So I will get over that, I just need time to process and readjust my expectations. Thankfully for me I won't be attending until the Sydney show so have plenty of time for that. In the meantime I'm also going to be so thrilled about the piano surprise songs because I have been begging for this for a decade! :)

[maeve01]

Essuphoria, the most awaited event yet on the campus . Many students were looking forward to attending this event following the campus' charter day that is held annually. Unfortunately for some of us, including myself, fell ill during the weekend and wasn't able to attend the said event, where the band, Sponge Cola was also expected to perform. But luckily for me, my friend Hanadi was able to attend with a few of her friends, and that is why I have something to write on this blog today. So shout out to my dearest friend Hanadi for enlightening me of what it was like out there. I gathered some bits and pieces on how this exhilarating event went on, a short narration of a second hand experience, if you will.

Now who would want to miss the opportunity to see a live band perform at your university, right? …Me. Kidding! Anyways, this is how it went. With Sponge Cola coming to perform, you can bet the venue was packed with students and outsiders. I could only imagine the shiver running down everyone's spine when the band started singing. Loud cheers coming from all different directions as they sang and swayed along with all their might. For many, this was just what they needed, a little party to let loose and chill and maybe even to just breathe, with everything that's been going on- the starting of classes, adjusting to their new environment for those who are from other nearby towns, and the calm before the storm for those who has upcoming workloads on their way.

I heard it even rained during the concert, but despite that, they were still happy and singing along with the songs, especially the teachers who were there, I bet. It was not only a mere concert, but a reunion for many- catching up with old acquaintances and friends that you haven't seen for ages, and what better way to do it than in a Sponge Cola concert, right? Ending the night with fireworks, I'm sure everyone went home exhausted, but with contented hearts and big smiles on their faces.

This is only one of the many exciting events that our campus would hold, so I'll be sure to attend the next, see you there!

photos by Hanadi Gagua

[rasalgethi-herculis]

Dearest,

It's been a while. I have some things to catch you up on. Let me start with a story.

________

We stood in the chapel. College formal attire from the thrift store, buzzed just enough to be brave. Some stand from an event earlier in the day stood in the middle of the altar. I leaned over it and hummed while scrolling on my phone to find a good song to sing.

"Wait. Before you decide what you want to sing let me know. I want to sit right there," He pointed to the front row of the pews, "and watch you."

A funeral song is what I picked. Somehow fitting for the moment, I only made it about half way before my voice gave out. "I don't think my voice is up for it today. I'm sorry to disappoint."

He stood and started towards me. Onto the half step below me he reached out and pulled me into an embrace and smiled. "You know, your voice is angelic. I can't believe we've been seeing each other this long and I haven't heard you sing."

"You lie," I was cradled in his arms, a step above so we were about the same height. My head on his shoulder, arms around him. Softer, I said. "I'm trying. I have a hard time accepting complements"

Just above a whisper, he said into my ear, "I know. It's okay." And held me. Soft lips against mine. I am kissing a boy at the altar of a chapel and there is nothing that could feel more holy in this moment.

The glow of lights in the hallway, soft clanging from the old heating pipes around the building broke the spell of the moment.

"What do you think about going home?" I whispered into the crown of his hair.

His arms loosened around me, he pulled back and his lips held a half smile while his eyes met my gaze. "I think that'd be great."

________

He said he kinda missed me today. Could've gone for some cuddles. It's getting harder to sleep without him in the other half of the bed.

I'm not worried about the future, but these little bursts of time we have together are always too short. We are playing catch up on missing each other and just when we've made up for lost time, one of us is leaving again. It's never long. Hell, this week will be the longest we've gone without each other since we've started this thing. But I can't help it. My simple brain longs to be under his touch. Letting his fingers dance across my curves. Letting my fingers run in his chest hair, trading skin for inches of skin, passing heat back and forth like a lantern in the darkness.

It's probably some primal urge, some genetic level impulse that's hard to shake on account that the species wants to reproduce. Normally I'm against all the innate desires that come along with being human. I brush them off and go about my day. But with *him* I'm at a loss. I can't tell if I want him or if I want the future he could bring but I know that whatever it is, it smells good.

Two nights in a row, we've fallen into the rhythm of wearing each other's sweatshirts to bed to replace the arms that are miles away. His last name is on the back of this one. It's blue with faded gold lettering from a high school I've never even seen, in a town I've never heard of before him.

I feel like I am 15 again. Wrapped in the newness of possibility that someone likes me. Can you imagine that? He asked me what my town was like the other day, why the last name I go by doesn't match my IDs, what my mom does for work, what name I want to be called. He seems to care about the answers. He remembers important things. He wants to know me. No one has wanted to know me like this in a long time.

Soon we will have to talk about the summer. At most we will be able to spend one night a week with each other if I am the only one who can drive. More than that if he can make the drive to boston, but I know it's a big ask. One night is also betting that I can stay in the hut with him. We may sleep outside. I can look at the calendar now and see two days we can spend with each other over the summer.

I know it's only about 10 weeks. In the grand ball of string that's nothing. But then what?