#i bet it's a spider

[hemlock-dreams]

Any loser facts abt Peter in your universe? I see all Spider-Man's having atleast one (Or several) moments of "The Parker's luck", like swinging and falling into the dumpster, being the Smart-but-dumb person, or doing smth cringe to the point to embarass and make them stay awake at night

And I think it would be funny as hell if he is this smart, hot, skillful, intelligent with tragic backstory but still a little bit of a loser

Hunting!Spiderman is absolutely a loser.

His biggest public embarrassment was taking on Captain America in his OG world. They were on opposite sides for some comic shenanigan reason or another, and ended up having to fight.

Captain America laid Spiderman out to fucking dry. Full on KO. He was obliterated, so completely and effectively that he legitimately had a crisis about it.

Even worse, Captain picked him up over the shoulder and took him to safety afterward. He woke up asking what time and year it was.

it was captured live on Tiktok, and mem-ed to absolute hell. Tags like #Spideryamcha and #Spideybeatdown were trending for weeks. JJ split the video into single frames and ran it on every website/article/blog of the Bugle.

Halloween was brutal. And endless stream of couple costumes, kids dressed as Captain America with spider-plushies, beach towels with Spidey's image, advertised thrown over the shoulder. God the Spotify playlist... (Beating me up/Mama Said Knock you Out/Getting Beaten Up/Lay Me/I'm a loser/Bad Day...and so on)

Now, to be clear, Spiderman has had his fair share of losses. He's not invulnerable- and to most of the masses, the power difference between Captain America and Spiderman is minimal.

But Spiderman knows better.

For reference, Captain America is an enhanced human. He's fast, strong, dexterous- and can lift up to 1200 pounds.

Spiderman can go toe-to-toe with the Hulk. Spiderman can lift up to 25 tons.

This shouldn't have been even close. And it wasn't. This is when Peter realized that having mutated muscles and superhuman strength didn't mean anything if he didn't know how to use them. Most of his rogues gallery up until that point (Rhino, Vulture, the classics-) were just dudes with souped up bodies/tech.

Captain America, highly trained and disciplined, was able to read him like a flimsy pamphlet, capitalizing on all his weaknesses to take Spidey out like yesterday's garbage.

TLDR: Spiderman got hilarious humbled on Tiktok and his rep took a hit that never totally recovered.

For new world Loser facts:

-Peter Parker is living above St. Margaret's on Weasel's charity. -Has to basically work for free for room and board -Has literally no friends or family (yet) -Can't hold a Starkphone in the right direction to save his life Stay tuned for more!

[sciderman]

kidpool & spider-boy (2024)

[justcommander]

I can't really be the only one who thinks those are a bit too big to be spiders...

[artbyblastweave]

Never as a Woman her salary, a Man his age, or Captain America what he did in response to the United States policy of Japanese internment during the second- oh, Hi Tom Taylor, author of Injustice! What are you- Oh No. Noooo, Tom, no. Tom, T- oh god. Oh no

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

good night and sweet dreams to the best, sexiest, sluttiest, smartest, realest, most based, valid, relatable, girlipop, sympathetic, cunt, fun, cool, feminist, aspirational girlboss character in dead boy detectives: doll spider <3

good night to her and no one else. i hope the rest of y’all have a bad night and terrible dreams.

[miriamforster]

Everyone likes to debate about how much trama Halsin should have from his time in the Underdark, but I haven’t seen anyone highlight the fact that the man was trapped in a city

And not just any city, a city that’s like half slaves, a city of gleeful misery, an underground city with no sun, no stars, no sky, and no seasons at all.

Halsin was chained in a bedroom, in a house, inside a city, with little visible nature and no access to wildshape for three years.

Even if he is mostly healed from the rest, I bet he still has nightmares about that.

[canigirl]

gonna need a scene in beyond the spiderverse where prowler miles finds out about the life he was supposed to have and just Goes Apeshit . he deserves it man he’s just a kid

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Spider Society BBL Drizzy remix but instead it's called 'BBL Miggy' and it's everyone freestyling about Miguel's thick dumptruck ass. Is this anything

[venomgaia]

messy eater

[theshadowrealmitself]

Spiderman: This is going great actually -annnd Doom’s about to betray us

Dr Doom: *freezes*

Reed: What? No, he’s been redeeming himself, what makes you say that?

Spiderman: I got a spidey sense, tells me when there’s danger

Spiderman, pointing behind himself at Doom: He stepped closer to that weapon

Spiderman: Spidey sense went off

Spiderman: Means he’s a danger with that weapon, he’s gonna betray us, he’s betraying us right now

Reed: Hmm, I say we trust him

20 MINUTES LATER

Dr Doom: I was always going to betray you, and no one knew it!

Spiderman: I knew. I literally said this is what you were going to do. You were right there.

Dr Doom:

Dr Doom: And no one knew!

[scandals-r-us]

Did you know peppermint oil is in all natural insect repellents? I mentioned in an earlier post since Miguel is literally 50% spider, and spiders are repelled by peppermint... I bet it WOULD get his ass

GET MINT-BANGED IDIOT

To be fair though migs, no matter the scent we all have experienced the mist of doom

[sciderman]

what's a lesser known spider-man related thing that you don't see enough people talk about? (for me although its not lesser known, more like forgotten, only two people (you included) have recongnized my pfp)

weird al yankovic song

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #146

Karen is missing someone.

She's an AI, so she's not exactly supposed to have "feelings" the way a human would, but... what other way is there to explain it? Someone is supposed to be in her life, and they are not. She wants them back.

The problem is, she can't find any record of why she feels this way. There are no important people in her database who are currently missing, no gaps in her code that she can find. The only curiosity is the fact that she seems to no longer be helping Spider-Man.

That used to be her prime objective. Her entire reason for being. Maybe he's the one she's missing? She can't find any data to indicate that they were close, but perhaps that is a curiosity too. Surely, if Spider-Man wore a mask with her programming for all that time, she would know who he was, would have some record of their conversations.

With FRIDAY's (and Tony's! let my guy live!) help, Karen is untethered from the Spider-Man suit. She goes searching through every piece of tech she has access to for her missing friend.

When she finds him, she'll figure out what's wrong. And she'll help him fix it. It's what she was designed to do.

[nymphapunkcake]

Hobie grabs the empanada

I think we don't value these Hobie frames enough. I mean, I'm Argentinian and I've NEVER seen someone grab an empanada with so much style and looking so good. Like, sir, it's an empanada, it's nothing more than dough and filling (which is great) but he inspects it so seriously and expectantly.

Sure, he's a british guy from the '70s, he doesn't have to know exactly how an empanada is or taste, but still.

In the scene he takes it with his spider web and gently lifts it to observe it, in a very smooth move. Also, his carefree posture (the same one I have now writing this lol) I mean, porque tan cool señor?

We know that beyond the empanada he is attentive to his surroundings and pays attention to the situation with Miguel, Gwen and Miles even though it may seem like not.

In the second frame Hobie seems to even look at the camera. Just imagine for a moment staring at him, he notices it, and he throws that bombastik side-eye to you with the empanada still in his hand...

I think I would die in seconds.

[kitkat-the-muffin]

When I saw the Minecraft movie trailer the first thing I said to my brother was “GameKnight999 did it better”

The second thing I said was “the character designs are confusing and all over the place”

[doctormead]

How about a DC x MCU prompt?

Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who thinks MCU Peter Parker got a pretty raw deal. So why don't we do some crossover remediation?

After the events of _No Way Home_, some other multiverse snafu (maybe as collateral damage from _Multiverse of Madness_) rips him out of the MCU universe and drops him into the DC universe. Peter doesn't know how to get home and, quite frankly, little motivation to try at this point. After all, he functionally lost EVERYONE he loved back there and being a superhero resulted in him being vilified more than anything else after he lost the safety net he had with Tony Stark, so why bother? Looking around this new universe, it seems like they've gotten plenty of superheroes to take care of things. Maybe he can just...live?

But then there is the problem of putting food on the table when he doesn't have any work credentials that will fly in this universe...or even any established identity. He doesn't want to make it obvious that he's enhanced, but his spider powers have resulted in him having phenomenal acrobatic abilities...

So Peter Parker joins the circus. And, eventually, their tents are pitched in Gotham.