#i believe it will win all the oscars including best gay

[yumikittyproducoes]

I just watched Venom 3 and you guys weren't lying. It was the most cinematic experience I've ever had, like I had a different facial expression every minute

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

[h2ojustaddmako]

My Thoughts After Re-Watching Season 2

Hiya everybody. Sorry for the long times between posts. Working two jobs and keeping a social life, while also trying to sleep, eat healthy and get hydrated is taking a toll on this account. Bright side is, that because of the whole Corona situation, I might spend a lot of time home soon. So head-up, another headcanon/theory is coming this week, but just to break the hiatus, I decided to write today.

Every now and then, I decide to re-watch one of the three seasons of the show, just so I could have something to fill my time. So, recently I decided to watch season 2 again, and, as I like, pick up on some details, ideas or thoughts I didn’t get during previous binges. I’ve watched this season, like the others, around four or five times now since release, maybe more - and yet I’m still genuinely surprised at the things I notice or realize every time. So I figured I might turn it into a list of the good, the bad, and the plain interesting.

This list is in no particular order, I just write my thoughts as they go.

1. I am still BLOWN AWAY by how good the writing is on this show. It may not be an Oscar-winning script, but for a teen show of the early 2000′s it’s amazingly deep and well thought of, from every angle. That what makes my theories so fun to make, because they planted so much information throughout the shows that I genuinely enjoy picking out details and information from it.

2. To go into more depth, I really enjoyed all the different storylines they brought in throughout the 26 episodes. Look, twenty-six episodes is a lot for a TV series. Most shows release around 10, since long storylines are hard to follow and are easy to get messy. But while they added so many side stories (Max and the original mermaids, Ash and Emma, Cleo and Lewis’ breakup and Charlotte getting in between),. each of these stories merged with the main plot so well, and actually added depth to the story, making it more complicated for the characters, and more interactive for the viewer.

3. While the main focus for the season was the Cleo-Lewis-Charlotte  relationship, both Emma and Rikki had their romantic paths taken as well. But unlike season 1, where the couples fought for screen time, this time those relationships were put to the side in favour of the main plot, which made them more slow-paced and interesting to watch. I enjoyed the fact that Emma and Ash stayed in the dark throughout the entire season, and that Zane only appeared when he was needed. Both are good characters, but not needed every time.

4. On the other hand, Cleo and Lewis’ relationship was handled very maturely all through the season. From when they dated, through the post-breakup, and all the way to managing being friends, the relationship was very well looked into and explored.

5. Might be a side thing, but I loved that Ash was actually figuring out something was off about Emma. One of my favourite lines by him was, “You realize none of this is natural. But you already knew that.” (Ep. 26) Mostly in shows like these, the character either never questions the weird occurrences around them, or the curiosity fuel the storyline (like Zane in season 1). The writer really wrote out of pure logic and not out of plot requirements, and I dig that little detail.

6. This one is felt throughout the entire show, but was most dominant during this one. The show is not about mermaids at all. This is written as a show about three girls and their coming of age process, and the things they have to deal with, one of them being turned into mermaids. But it’s far from being the only problem these girls have, and it’s showing when some episodes really struggle to squeeze in scenes of the girls in their tails for pure rating, even when the plot is not in need of any mermaid action. The girls have a very full and normal lifestyle aside from being mermaids. They go out, go shopping, have other friends, work, study and fail, deal with personal issues at home or with partners. The tails are just another part of their lives and I love it.

7. Episode 23 is a turning point for Charlotte’s character arch. I’ve spoken greatly before about how I feel like Charlotte is seen in our minds as the “bad guy” while she was a nice character most of her time on the show. And she was! Up until episode 23 when was never trying to hurt the girls. She may have acted out of jealousy before towards Cleo, but she was insecure and worried about her boyfriend. What should she think when her boyfriend spends a whole lot of time with his ex and fails to explain to her exactly why? The show did a great job showing the point of both sides in the argument between the girls and Charlotte, and showed the entire process of how their relationship turned into what it was.  A lot of ego, assumptions, and false worries, and a lot of unfortunate events. Episode 23 was really a turning point because that’s where both sides of the fight were really right in different ways, things that led Charlotte to want to go on her own, and the girls to stay away from her. Charlotte acted the way she did because she felt like the girls were treating her badly (which she was wrong about sometimes, but they too hold the blame, mostly Rikki). From episode 24 and on, she started acting as the “bad guy” the show built her to be, and even then I can see her side. But enough on that.

8. Lewis is hot. Idk what’s up with Charlotte’s eyebrows.

9. One thing that feels off every time is how quickly Lewis started dating Charlotte. I don’t blame a guy for moving on quickly, I do find it weird that during the post-breakup from Cleo, he not only protected Cleo’s respect and jealousy by not flirting with any other girl, but also didn’t really seem like he was into Charlotte at all. She was a good friend at the beginning, then Cleo got in the middle, and for some reason, Charlotte did her best to rub it in Cleo’s face that she wants Lewis. But he never, for once, showed interest back until Cleo gave him permission to move on, and all of a sudden they’re dating. What I'm saying is that Lewis never seemed to like Charlotte romantically, like she liked him. So that was weird, they just never felt right together.

10. The reason Charlotte mastered her powers so quickly, at least in my eyes, is because that a) she had the girls to explain her at least the basics, and b) she didn’t put herself into a box of ‘this is what I was given’, bc she wanted to be better than Cleo at every cost. Her will power helped her master her powers. While the girls dealt with learning their boundaries and abilities and adjusting into the new life they got, Charlotte learned about mermaids before her transformation and knew what she was getting into.

11. The show never shied away from real-life issues, that may be considered inappropriate or harsh to the audiences the show is targeted at. Handling with divorce (and the outcomes of it!) and parents starting dating again (true story, Cleo’s way to handle with Sam’s introduction into her father’s life helped me cope when my mother started dating men a couple of years ago), while also showing signs of LGBT references (Nate mentioned people think Lewis is gay, in other words) or even sexual harassment and consent (both when Rikki was mad at Zane for kissing her against her will, and when Ash’s apology to Emma when he believed Lewis thought he was trying to have sex with her/spy on her showering, which to remind y’all, she was 16 while he was 18). It’s so brief I never noticed it before, but once I did, it was hard to miss.

12. And lastly, I just love how this show treats science. So much real life and true scientific information is included in the lines of the story, mainly by Lewis, but also by other characters like Will, Cleo, Lowrey, Max and Dr. Denman. When they wrote the entire base to what mermaids are and how they exist, they didn’t care it was a show for goddamn 9-year-olds, and that what makes it so interesting. If you’re not into science, let me tell you that every scientific blurb or word you hear on the show is 100%% real and makes sense within its context. From talking about marine biology, to referring to mermaids groups ‘pods’ (which is a group of marine mammals in scientific terms), to the science of “magic” and mermaids as a whole, the show knows what it’s doing is within the realms of possibility from a scientific point of view, meaning none of it is real, but it could be, in another life.

Anyways, if you have anything else to add, feel free! This is your list as it is mine. I just really love this show and I wish people appreciated it the same way we do. When I tell people I like this show they remember it as just another kids TV show, and it’s so much more than that.

Hope you’re having a great day, be safe, and wash your hands (just not in front fo people, keep the secret safe!)

Until next time, maybe not as far as you think. xx

[penzyroamin]

Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know❤️

of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3

disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)

extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.

books:

her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!

fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen. 

@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.

leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.

harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!

laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.

movies:

i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!

wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.

birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!

imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.

tv shows:

ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.

that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.

ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow. 

if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.

i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3

[chenoehi]

My thoughts on Grammys, BTS, and the Academy's supposed 'diversity'.

Can't do 'Keep Reading' on mobile guys so if you don't care about it keep on scrolling.

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The only BTS music I thought might have a slim chance for a nomination was "Boy With Luv (ft. Halsey)" as a pop duo collaboration. That was it. Anything more than that was just wishful thinking.

The Academy (both Grammy and Oscar's) talk about diversity when controversy comes up, they give some Black artists and actors awards, they look like try-hards, and then the next year they repeat history. Each year more men continue to be nominated than women, even in years that women dominated the industry. Each year artists who push boundaries continue to be overlooked or less favored than more traditional artists. Each year recognition continues to be bulk awarded to the most basic artists with the most basic styles with the most basic music, often times the same (mostly white) artists each year. No one get me started on always having to award artists like Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran or Adele each year they make music, despite whether or not what they put out is actually good, original, or better than what they did the year before. I'm not singling them out, but I think they illustrate my point. I will make one exception for Adele because she is a phenomenal singer, although I did not personally believe 25 deserved to sweep; I've been told by fans that Ed Sheeran is a good performer, so I'll give him that but I'll keep my thoughts of his music and the rest of my opinions to myself. But I get tired of artists like these getting nominated every time or almost every time they put music out and then getting awards every time they're nominated, hence sweeping. It gets tiring when the music that frequently-awarded artists put out sucks and they keep raking noms because of who they are.

There is absolutely nothing BTS or any other Asian et al. artists can do to beat that system. None of the criticism in the world has changed it thus far and I don't know that anything ever will. It's a hard institution to tear down. They will use "diverse" artists for ratings by inviting them and having them hand out awards and, in BTS's case, making such a big deal as to even display their Grammy outfits in the museum, and then they will refuse to nominate them.

It's a back handed compliment to non-Western artists. The Academy is saying they're good enough to help win over a predominantly younger and more diverse generation of viewers but they're not good enough to be awarded for their achievements.

What's worse is, the only expectation I had was for the Academy to invite them as performers despite whatever minuscule nomination they might have garnered, because it's been clearly hinted they would attend another Grammys and the Academy would frankly be fools to not have them perform after the shitstorm going on the pop industry rn. If you know anything about the Taylor Swift situation (you may not be able to tell which one because there are always so many) who knows if she will be performing this Grammys, and her medley of her songs was supposedly going to be a highlight; something's always stirring things up so who knows if certain artists don't end up going at all or bow out of performing. Ariana Grande bailed on the 2019 Grammys because the Grammy producer wouldn't let her perform songs she wanted to, and these kinds of disputes happen and artists who are nominated become no-shows. So, the opportunity to invite a group with a huge following, who have already proved to increase ratings, seems like a sure move right?

But BTS can't exactly perform at the Grammys if they're not nominated for a Grammy; I don't see them doing a tribute any time soon either. And if the Academy even dares to invite them at this point for a performance it will be an insult and a transparent ratings grab. BTS may still go to avoid appearing as if their pride has been wounded or just because they want to go regardless. They know better than their fans how it feels to lose, to be discarded, to be overlooked. This is happening to them first and foremost, not us. And if they decide that they will deal with this the same way they dealt with all their other struggles, to push on, perform for their fans, and use the opportunity of exposure for what it's worth, then support them and their decision. I, for one, won't be watching it live regardless of whether they are there. If all the Academy wants is ratings from BTS fans when they are fine with treating them like garbage, they won't get ratings from me.

I fully believe that the Academy is not only discriminatory to non-Western, non-white artists but that failing to nominate BTS for any award at all is out of fear. Fear that their traditional, safe artists will be offended and boycott the awards if they lose out on a nomination, fear that their fanbases will retaliate, but more importantly, fear that BTS or any other gigantic force of a non-Western artist may be a shoe-in for whatever award they are nominated for and potentially sweep if allowed to compete with all other artists. This comes after BTS won Best Group at the Billboard Music Awards this year. Their first time being nominated for a major U.S. award category. It wasn't even a Best New Artist schtick. It was a main category and they were up against established, popular, Western groups like Imagine Dragons and Maroon 5. It comes on the heels of Super M earning number 1 debut album and beginning a successful tour they are on right now. It comes after Blackpink performed at Coachella and toured the country. It comes after NCT 127 and ATEEZ toured the country. Even TXT, a months old group, had successful showcases in major U.S. cities.

The Academy is too racist and xenophobic to acknowledge Asian artists--they always have been and they always will be. The most diversity we'll see is the nomination of Black artists, but still only 2 were nominated for SotY whereas 4 were nominated for RotY. I don't know the exact numbers, but any time I've ever kept up with the awards I don't see very many other diversity groups being represented in nominations either, such as artists with disabilities or LGBT artists who have different gender expressions and identities or sexual orientations that impact their music, performance, and artistry. Halsey's intimate performance at the BBMAs with that female dancer was huge because that's just not something that's really done. Still. And any time it does happen it's a Britney and Madonna moment all over again, it's a fetish to everyone. Progress has been made but it's very minuscule in comparison to the 'diversity' touting approach they've taken.

I'll just leave the words of this morning's Rolling Stone article here:

So, the Academy selectively extends its diversity goodwill just as they always have. No shade to the artist, but just using this example of Lil Nas X versus BTS, you have a young Black, gay artist who started his career in late 2018. He's nominated for some of top Grammys with a minimal discography--an 18-minute EP. This is groundbreaking, it's great. BTS, a 6-year-old established group of young Korean artists who break nearly every record there is and dominated Western charts this spring, and they continue to chart Billboard and Western streaming platforms. They earn no nominations.

The two artists ironically happen to have a collaboration in the form of Old Seoul Road.

Congrats to Lizzo and Lil Nas X (that's not shade at Billie btw) but this tweet from the New York Times is so unbelievably misguided because the Academy's conception of diversity is like seasoning with mostly salt, a little pepper and no cayenne (hate to use that analogy but am I wrong?):

I do appreciate that some artists who don't get nominated a lot got nominations, but looking at the list of top awards I just can't imagine how some of those got through. And I listen to a lot of different music and some BTS stans may have know idea who the fuck Bon Iver is and I'm not saying they don't deserve nominations period, but when you look at the list it's just mind boggling how a song like BWL that was listened to and appreciated like a summer anthem would be could not be included in that mess. (Vampire Weekend for Album of the Year, what, who the fuck, is that, they've been around since 2006, that's when I listened to nothing but metal and rock and I don't, know who the fuck this obscure band is? I may have heard of them once eons ago but they apparently made no impression? I'm sorry). I won't go as far as to say BWL was a Western summer anthem because much of the gp still doesn't know them, this is true. But apparently that's never stopped the Academy before. Bonus, anyone remember Bon Iver winning Best New Artist over Katy Perry all those years ago? No, just me? Good times. (Respect to Bon Iver, I'm just making a point that a lesser known artist won that award over a popular artist and the public went "waH?" Bon Iver being nominated for Record and Album of the Year this time honestly has the same effect as before because what is Hey, Ma even. I listen to Indie music so. What it is.)

Anyway. That's my thoughts. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed is a myth. You will always have room to be disappointed in humanity.

Edit: while I'm at it, a big, massive fuck you to the Academy for never nominating Halsey for Without You.

[acepalindrome]

I got tagged by @brightandshinynewstories!

Name ten favorite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people. 

These are not in any particular order, because I love all my favs in their own special ways.

1. Caduceus Clay (Critical Role.) My very special cow boy. I love his chill, I love how he takes on the caretaker role for his messy little found family, I love his 9 intelligence and getting distracted by moss in a life and death situation, I love his faith and belief in destiny, but possibly what I love the most is his views on nature that align so much with my own.

2. Oscar François de Jarjayes (Rose of Versailles.) Listen, Oscar spends all her time fucking with gender roles in 18th century France, fighting injustice, getting on board with the revolution and flirting with every woman in a 50 mile radius up to and including Marie Antoinette. She’s a big wlw icon and I long for a reboot where she ends up with Rosalie instead of fucking Andre.

3. Brienne of Tarth (ASOIAF.) Isn’t it a shame GOT ended after season 6, Gwendoline Christie is so gorgeous. Anyway, I was definitely too young to be reading these books in high school but I did anyway and Brienne was both my hero and fictional crush. She’s so strong and brave and more noble than any ‘true knight!’ I love Brienne with my whole damn heart.

[[MORE]]

4. Auron (FFX) God I love this bitter disillusioned undead ronin who’s consumed with guilt and self loathing because God Lied and he was fooled just like everyone else and he wasn’t able to save his lord who he was definitely in love with!! He literally fucking dies in a tragic desperate attempt to avenge Braska and the. decides that no, fuck this, he’s failed everyone else (in his mind) and he’s gonna keep one last promise to his friend and being dead is not gonna stop him!! He hates himself so much but he’s so goddamn loyal even death doesn’t stop him.

5. Sophie Hatter (Howl’s Moving Castle.) Book version, because Miyazaki did my girl wrong. Sophie’s whole story is about her assuming that she’s doomed to failure in everything so she never tries for a better life and just expects that her life is never going to amount to much of anything. And then she gets cursed and it ends up helping her realize how stupid a lot of her fears and insecurities were and she’s finally able to discover that all that shit about failure was just in her head! The only thing holding her back was herself!! Also she has really powerful magic in her own right and later gets to consult with kings and do important work and why did the movie take away all the best things about her!!!

6. Dr. Kenzo Tenma (Monster.) The poster child for ‘No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.’ Risks his whole successful career as a brain surgeon to save the life of a child and he’s rewarded for his altruism by getting sucked into the middle of a brutal murder mystery that paints him as the prime suspect. The thing that makes Tenma so special is that he starts off believing that all lives are equal, and after going through absolute hell and seeing the worst of humanity...HE STILL BELIEVES IN IT. It would be so easy to have him become disillusioned and abandon his ideals, but no! They’re challenged in the worst possible way, but at the very bitter end, he doesn’t lose his belief in the inherent value of all human life.

7. Granny Weatherwax (Discworld.) I want to be half as fierce and strong as Granny when I’m old. She’s not nice and she’s tremendously stubborn but she’s a DAMN good person who won’t let anyone take away another person’s free will and steps up to do the right thing when no one else will because she’s GOOD. Even when she doesn’t want to be. She’s powerful and proud and knows exactly who she is. She’s amazing.

8. Samwise Gamgee (LOTR.) FRODO WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN FAR WITHOUT HIS SAM. God, Sam is so full of love and strength and courage. He follows Frodo literally to the end of the damn world and when Frodo can go no further, Sam carries him on. I can’t think about Sam too long without crying. He’s so very good.

9. Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender.) So we all agree Zuko got the best redemption story of all time, right? It’s so, so good watching this angry mess of a kid grow and heal from his trauma and learn to open his heart and love and finally have the courage to confront his abusive father and tell him to his face that what he did was wrong! After spending so long trying to prove himself and win his father’s love on an impossible quest! Zuko’s growth is just the best. And he’s such a lovable awkward goof. That’s rough, buddy.

10. Beatrix (FFIX.) Did Beatrix make me gay as a wee innocent baby child? Probably. I fell in love pretty much the minute she shows up, calls you insects and completely destroys your party without breaking a sweat. She starts out as a villain but everything she does is out of misguided loyalty to her queen, and once she finally realizes how wrong she was she busts her ass to try to redeem herself! She loves Alexandria so much and she’s 100% willing to fight to the death when the city is attacked. She’s honorable and loyal to a fault and she’s absolutely the reason I’m weak for lady knights.

Tagging: @maeofthedead, @youngsterhammy, @saint-tibbles, @quarterpasttired, @disasterhumans, @skygemspeaks, @megneato, @kimabutch, @pastellieria, @fwishbone

If I didn’t tag you and you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged!

[topkoality]

here’s my oscar winners review that absolutely no one asked for (keep reading)

have i seen enough films of 2018 to actually be doing this? am i an actual film critic? no, of course not, but i’ve got lots of opinions and that’s why i’m posting this! in bold are the winners, in italics are my pick of what should’ve won, and if there was a category that i really knew nothing about, it will not be included. also we’re saving the best for last so if you want my hottest and fully developed takes you might as well go to the end of this post

Best Animated Short: Bao, Animal Behaviour, Late Afternoon, One Small Step, Weekends

i did not see any of the other animated shorts on this list but bao, which maybe says something, but i remember seeing this in theaters along with many other trailers/adverts while waiting to see bohemian rhapsody (wow...) and it was so, very emotional. perhaps it even took the spotlight of that whole movie experience? the animation was beautiful, the story was heart-wrenching, and i believe every parent and those who want to become a parent one day should take the time to watch this.

Best Animated Feature: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs, Mirai, Ralph Breaks the Internet

well deserved, the animation in this movie was— and i’m being very serious when i say this— groundbreaking. in the least, it has shown animators that realism is not always the goal, and being experimental can certainly pay off. the concept this movie has with all the inter-dimensional spidermans joining our protagonist miles was genius, and when i realized that there would be multiples of them due to the multiple sets of intros we were given, it was hilarious and perfectly entertaining. i don’t think anyone can go into this movie and not enjoy it. i honestly thought incredibles 2 was going to win, just simply due to my lack of faith in the academy, but thankfully that did not happen. as far as the others, they were all definitely deserving of their oscar nomination, but the oscar win had to go to spider-verse.

Best Film Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody, BlacKkKlansman, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice

i mean... bohemian rhapsody? surely there’s something else... that was maybe even a little bit more deserving... than that. surely academy, surely you can do better. or can you? bohemian rhapsody had some of the worst editing in a major film that i’ve seen. i mean, did you just like how the movie made you FEEL, academy?! be honest you can say it. i loved we will rock you. but that’s not editing! i mean, this alone made me seasick: https://twitter.com/jesssetaylor/status/1097712834643984390. i would’ve loved to see the favourite win, as the editing in that movie represented it so well. the editing created a fully immersive experience, and the short, witty, snappy quips that were highlighted by the editing made the viewing experience all the more hilarious. the title sequences alone that were edited in gave me a purpose to watch the scenes a bit more closer than i initially would’ve; searching for the line that was given the status of the title for that section. i haven’t seen blacKkKlansman but if that had won, i wouldn’t have been mad about it, as i’ve heard great things. but ultimately, the favourite deserved this oscar. 

Best Visual Effects: First Man, Avengers: Infinity War, Christopher Robin, Ready Player One, Solo: A Star Wars Story

i’m just glad avengers didn’t get this

Best Sound Mixing: Bohemian Rhapsody, Black Panther, First Man, Roma, A Star Is Born

now best sound mixing, i suppose i can understand. the sound in this movie WAS the movie. i felt like i was actually in concert, experiencing queen live, so i understand. it was very good. i could have seen ASIB taking this oscar as well, due to everyone raving about the music, but perhaps this was the one oscar that bohemian rhapsody actually deserved.

Best Sound Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody, Black Panther, First Man, A Quiet Place, Roma

nope, nope, nope. again, mixing i understand, but editing? all they did was edit in the songs mate... roma should have won this. the sounds in that movie made me feel like i was actually there, experiencing the water dripping down from the buildings, creating a puddle. washing the floor, witnessing a protest, being outside when i’m actually inside— watching the movie with my family. it was so realistic; i was completely taken. dissatisfied completely with this one!

Best Original Score: Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, If Beale Street Could Talk, Isle of Dogs, Mary Poppins Returns

nicholas britell i’m so, so sorry. everyone was talking about how great the score was for black panther, and while there were some good songs, i don’t think it deserved the oscar win. definitely deserved a nomination, but a win? i’m not so sure. if beale street could talk, now that was a score that was truly deserving of this. very disappointed that if beale street could talk’s only win was for regina king’s performance. it definitely at least deserved this oscar as well.

Best Production Design: Black Panther, The Favourite, First Man, Mary Poppins Returns, Roma

i definitely understand this win, black panther was breathtaking in terms of the beauty of the production. congratulations hannah beachler and jay hart! i would’ve been happy to see the favourite also win this category, but black panther deserved it!

Best Foreign-Language Film: Roma, Capernaum, Cold War, Never Look Away, Shoplifters

now, at first, BEFORE best picture was announced, i was confused as to why roma was even in this category. should a foreign-language film that is also nominated for best picture even be in this category? i mean, obviously it would win! and it did. i fully expected roma to win best picture (more on that later) but due to it not winning best picture, i’m very glad that it at least won best foreign-language film. but cuarón, just go ahead and give the oscar to yalitza aparicio!

Best Costume Design: Black Panther, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, The Favourite, Mary Poppins Returns, Mary Queen of Scots

again, the costume design was amazing in black panther, and this was a win that was very deserving. but would i have liked to see the favourite win? yeah, but that’s just my own selfish gay opinion— black panther winning was definitely the right choice

Best Cinematography: Roma, The Favourite, Never Look Away, A Star Is Born, Cold War

roma deserved this, period! the cinematography was immersive, it was emotional, it was everything that it needed to be. do i even need to say more?

Best Original Screenplay: Green Book, The Favourite, First Reformed, Roma, Vice

okay, i didn’t even see first reformed and i know that it should’ve won. i mean, first reformed should have been nominated for best picture. i also would have been completely happy with the favourite winning. roma, i should mention, i would not have wanted to win because cuarón really just stole a woman’s story and made it his own, completely disregarding the feelings of the woman it was based on

Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali (Green Book), Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman), Sam Elliott (A Star Is Born), Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?), Sam Rockwell (Vice)

i mean, best supporting actor? mahershala ali? he should be considered the lead actor of green book, but due to the movie just being terrible and racist and inaccurate, i guess he’s the supporting actor! other than that, i love mahershala ali so i’m just glad he got an oscar.

Best Supporting Actress: Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk), Amy Adams (Vice), Marina de Tavira (Roma), Emma Stone (The Favourite), Rachel Weisz (The Favourite)

well deserved! i would have loved to also see stone or weisz take this as well, but i think the fact that they were both nominated from the same movie just goes to show that this movie had amazing acting, which makes me happy. i’m glad if beale street could talk and regina king’s superb acting abilities are being recognized, as well, therefore i’m pretty happy with this.

Best Actor: Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody), Christian Bale (Vice), Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born), Willem Dafoe (At Eternity's Gate), Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)

willem dafoe... maybe next year, huh? i don’t understand the appeal for rami malek winning. i used to love the man, but things he has done has shown his arrogance, so i’m a bit unsure of him recently. i’m not mad that he won, and it’s a great win for the MENA community (that i am apart of), so for that reason i’m satisfied.

Best Actress: Olivia Colman (The Favourite), Glenn Close (The Wife), Yalitza Aparicio (Roma), Lady Gaga (A Star Is Born), Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)

olivia colman you earned it, fair and square. this was the big win for the favourite last night. as the night got closer to this announcment, i was losing faith and just expected gaga or aparicio to go ahead and take it. and as it got even closer, i just thought aparicio would win. but olivia colman, whew. her acting was stunning in the favourite. her character consumed the movie, as she should have, and she depicted queen anne’s tragedy perfectly. yalitza aparicio’s performance in roma was very good, but i did not feel the emotion from her character as viscerally as i did from olivia colman’s performance. i really thought the night would go on with the favourite winning absolutely nothing, so thank god that they got this, because olivia colman was the clear choice! that film was fantastic, and i’m glad it got a least a little bit of recognition, even though it definitely deserved at least one other oscar (cough) best flim editing (cough). queen anne was hilarious, she was maddening, she was infuriating, she was miserable, she was everything. also sorry glenn close... maybe next time?

Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón (Roma), Yorgos Lanthimos (The Favourite), Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman), Adam McKay (Vice), Pawel Pawlikowski (Cold War)

okay cuarón, just give your oscar to yalitza aparicio. no? okay. well then, yorgos lanthimos you deserved it. the favourite was edited perfectly. the delivery of the lines was perfect. the panning from one character to the next, everything about it was done with eloquence. and don’t get me started on the music— every time viola d’amore concerto in a minor, rv. 397 i. vivace started playing just as weisz or stone did something to piss off the other, it was SO SATISFYING! of course i was only rooting for only one of them (especially by the end), but either way i felt what they were feeling in those moments. the music, the editing, the camerawork, the acting, the script... it all worked harmoniously in order to create the masterpiece that was the favourite. also, from a viola player, thank you for making the main theme a viola concerto, yorgos. also in a minor? that’s taste. this directing deserved an oscar win, not just a nomination.

Best Picture: Green Book, Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite, Roma, A Star Is Born, Vice

okay here we go... here we go. green book? GREEN BOOK? no. nope. literally any film besides this one please. okay let’s get started... green book is inaccurate, it’s a white savior story, it was a movie that was supposed to be about don shirley, the world class pianist, but instead is about this random fucking cab driver? and don shirley’s family have said that it was inaccurate and that it poorly represented actual events of shirley’s life. as a piano player... i am disgusted. also if you were going to give the oscar to a flim depicting racism... why not give it to blacKkKlansman? you know, the movie talking about racism that was actually created by black people and not just a team of white men? fuck you, green book! i fully expected roma to win, and oh, how wrong was i. roma deserved best picture. green book is a joke. i obviously would have liked to see the favourite win, because a gay movie about GIRLS! would have been nice to actually get some recognition. roma, the favourite, blacKkKlansman. these were the choices that should have gotten best picture. the others, eh. also why was black panther even in the nominations? like, seriously... that should have been replaced with if beale street could talk. and also, since they had ten slots anyway, first reformed should have gotten a nomination as well. this was by far the most disappointing win of the night AND confusing, for me personally (more confusing than bohemian rhapsody winning best film editing, which says something). just a terrible choice. this movie should not have even been nominated, but the academy is dumb. seriously though, NOT roma?

okay that’s it folks, those are my opinions. all in all, not a great oscars. some really good wins, though, like olivia colman’s win and spider-verse. also roma for best foreign. basically everything that was bolded and italics on this post were pretty good wins. but despite that, there were some VERY bad ones. 

[beaubcxton]

“You’re so brew-tiful, Snow.”

For @recgulus on her birthday. I love you & I hope you enjoy this 5.8kish mess. What is canon, right? Also, I made Simon say Crowley because I really like the word even if it doesnt have any context here. This is rushed but like, enjoy.

It happens on a Monday. Of course, it does Nothing good ever happened on a Monday.  Simon should have known to keep his head low on a day like this. Children sobbing was the welcome tune that announced the beginning of a new day, fingers stumbled on the steering wheel; a sign that the night before might have been exhilarating but now was just, tiring. Mondays were like the thorns in a bed of roses.

Back in the day when his dad was still decent, his father warned him to take care of himself. ‘Nothing like a Monday, mate. Can’t smoke or drink, can ya?’ And Simon had smiled toothily at his father, shrugging off the advice like it was dust that had found its way onto his coat.

He really really shouldn’t have done that.

Reason 1: His mom died two years ago in June on a Monday.

Reason 2: Agatha broke up with him last week. Surprise, surprise! It was on a Monday!

Reason 3: He just spilled hot coffee on the fittest guy in the world on a fucking Monday aka today.

---

“Simon!!”

Feet wheeling automatically at the familiar voice, I extend my arms right in time for Penelope Bunce to fling herself against my chest. Her giggles send a row of vibrations in me that shudder each bone. I-weirdly- find myself inhaling her hair as if to assure myself she’s there. (She smells of watermelon and ink. Typical of her to do something study related even on vacation ) I shift uncomfortably in the hug, her phone digging in my arm.

Pen is my best friend. Been since we were tiny tots. She'd been gone for nearly a month. Being the only person who included me in social ongoings also known as parties where you could get wasted, Penny was the Jake to my Boyle. When conversations had the opportunity to become awkward and stifling, Pen was pretty cool to divert my attention. We'd video called at least five times a week this month.

She pulls back, grins still wide on both of our faces and surveys her surroundings.

It’s earlier than I would like it to be; it’s just barely afternoon and I’ve been awake since dawn. It’s a tiny cafe, huddled alone with its vivid hues of orange and brown amongst the grey concrete building. Good for business. Unlike the outdoors, the interior of the cafe’s temperature induced warmth and placidity. I usually notice several kids hunched and pored over their studying material. Textbooks that hid their anxious face from view are stacked on the tables, their coffees long since drained but I rarely pay attention to it, opting for my ‘want a free refill, mate?’ chime. Employed at the beginning of fall, I was given only a few days to suit the shop with the atmosphere outside. Pumpkins decorate the cashier desk and they’ve been carved to look like famous people. My favorite one is the one that looks like Miley Cyrus. Strings of lights, the ones you get in IKEA fall from the ceiling casting a mellow glow in the gloominess of the upcoming winter.

“I can’t believe you work here now.” She huffs, still having a staring competition with one of the pumpkins. Taylor Swift must have won because my best friend snaps her gaze towards me as if waiting for an explanation. I know where she's going with this and I have no intention whatsoever to get into it. It'll just end with her storming out or worse so I just hum in agreement or whatever she expects from me.

Surprisingly between tucks of hair and another staring completion with Shawn Mendes, she tells me, “It’ll be good for you. I hope, at least. You’ve been a mopey mess since Agatha, now don’t give me that look Si. You know it’s true. I told you not to get involved with her but-“

I will my jaw and heart to loosen. “Missed you Pen.”

Her teasing and motherly grin could light the whole shop up. “Micah and I missed you too.”

My smile wavers. Right. Her boyfriend in America. Really decent bloke, always up for the occasional drag though he’s a right wanker when he’s reading a book. We get along swimmingly. And it's not like I like like Penny but whenever she talks about Micah, it reminds me of my recent break up with Agatha. Someone who I thought I'd spend my life with. For fuck's sake, we're twenty-three. I'd be Pinocchio if I told you that I didn't go ring shopping.

“Simon?” I run a hand through my hair and grimace when it comes out sticky. I haven't talked about Agatha since she broke up with me.

“I’m alright,” I say and conclude the statement by sending her a shaky smile. Penny looks wary but doesn’t do something weird like putting her hand on my shoulder or lending me a hug. I’m grateful for it but also resentful.

The door tinkles and-

“Simon Snow?”

My first thought is ‘Fuck me.’ My second is ‘I’m going to act like a dunce. Crowley, this boy knows my name.’ And my third is nothing.

I go blank. Nada and nil, both poetic wonders dance from my tongue. Penny pinches my arm. I can see her smirking and hiding a giggle but I don’t reproach her for it. Not when Adonis is standing right in front of me, his muscular form a barrier against the cool wind he’s brought with the open door. With slanted eyebrows and thin lips, he looks like someone you’d see in portraits at castles, despite the smirk on his face.

“Simon Snow?” He calls out again and I watch mesmerized as his mouth opens and pronounces my name. I flush. It’s probably in my best intentions if I don’t drool over a customer and with hardly any cool, I raise my arm up like a moron and squeak out a “Here?” like we’re kids and back to roll call.

Super Fit bloke- as I recently decided to call him in my head- shifts his searching glance and focuses on me and I almost reel back in surprise. He’s wearing a hat that shadows his features but even blind, I’d recognize him anywhere. His eyes are grey and unlike anything that I’ve seen. It’s like a storm in there and I’m captivated by observing them. It’s so different watching them up close, up person in daylight than stalking his Instagram profiles at 2am.  And his hair is carefully messed up in an extravagant manner, dark and shiny locks peeking out lazily.

I'm speechless. This is the best day of my life.

“Bastillon Pitch?”

My mouth blurts the words out but I suspect even if I had time, I’d say those same words. That same name. Do you know who is standing in my-not mine but you get the point- coffee shop right now? Award winning and three-time Oscar nominee, Bastillon Pitch. He has nine million and seven thousand followers on Instagram (not that I would know) and he’s been called to Ellen which he’s refused, by the way. For all my understanding (and obsessive knowledge) about  him, I could never understand why he would do that. I mean, who refuses Ellen? That’s like refusing chocolate. Only a few months older than me, he’s the youngest actor to star in so many bloody iconic movies.

The man grimaces and looks around to see if anyone’s heard my exclamation but that would be ridiculous because the only people in the room are him, Pen, me and two ladies with floral blouses and wrinkled fingers. The latter are deep in conversation and are stealing glances at us occasionally to check whether we’re eavesdropping. They’re loud so that’s taken care of. In the seventeen minutes that they’ve been there, I’ve learned that they are lesbians whose gay son eloped with a girl. I'd like to say that's the strangest thing I've heard but it doesn't even rank top ten in today's conversations.

“I go by Baz and shut up, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Rathe dumb, aren’t you? You’re the barista here?” His voice is smooth and dark like wine drunk on a summer night. The tone, however, implies he thinks I’m incompetent. It’s like he’s trying to convey, ‘You? You’re the barista here? Seriously?’ I feel like I’ve been slapped. Hurt and embarrassment course through me simultaneously.

It’s not every day that one gets to meet their fucking celebrity crush but well (I like boys too, you see) I imagine I’m handling it rather well, never mind that my face is probably beet red and I’m this close to stammering. Don’t give me that look. ‘Baz’ Pitch is literally an icon. He’s acted in several movies and he’s so good at it that I get goosebumps watching him. And Crowley, I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t the fittest person I’d seen in my life. 10/10 ass and a perfect asshole. I don’t think I can handle his fucking beautiful lilt this early in the morning what with Agatha presence still ghosting my mind. Bastillon Pitch or not.

“Yes.” I bite. “Why?”

“Just expected a bit more, I suppose. Most baristas have a uniform” He breaks off suddenly and stretches hard like, his shirt literally goes up and I have a view of strained muscles. Crowley. I’m staring at it so hard I’m not aware he’s speaking till he coughs. Shit. I want to wipe that smirk off.

“You seem like the type of guy to like Brooklyn Nine-Nine but you don’t even wear a uniform so I can’t consider you a true fan. Seriously Snow, who wears that to work?” His mouth is opening and closing but all I hear from him is the sign ‘I’m a prick.’

“Sorry, we can’t look like posh assholes all the time.”

He rolls his eyes again at my attempted jab. “You-“

“You  know,-“ I interrupt loudly, “-I wonder if you keep rolling your eyes because you’re trying to find a brain back there.”

The asshole grins and I’m disarmed by the beauty of it for a moment. His teeth do not contrast well with his tanned appearance. They look almost yellow in the dim light of the coffee shop but they’re sharp. I oddly wonder if he’s played a vampire. But then I know he’s not. I’ve watched all of his movies. Twice. Okay, thrice.  (And maybe a few more times after that)

“Touche” As he walks towards me, I can swallow my disgust. He’s so damned tall. Seriously what was the point of these people with their ridiculous heights of six foot when I, a mere mortal was just five foot one? (I never said I wasn't dramatic.)  “I didn’t expect it from you. Soft, aren’t you Snow?”

Pen, the traitor is nicely backing away.

“Soft?” I splutter manically even though I know being soft is wonderful but Bastillion Pitch cannot know in any universe that Simon Snow is soft. It would not bode well on his impression of me.

He grins wolfishly. “Shame.”

Shame? Shame? What does that even mean?

His sudden bark of laughter shakes the bloody walls. “Flustered, mate?”

​Oh. Oh. Pen has long since retreated, thankfully because I wouldn’t feel like quitting if she was here. It’s just like the universe to make the (EX) love of my life an arse who has no consideration for my feelings. I admonish myself for sounding like a sap.

“I only get flustered in front of cute. Hot, hot people.”

Predator smirk combined with no reply sets me on edge. “What do you want?”

“Good grades but I already have them. Do you, Snow?”

I try not to let the bitterness seep into my tone. Of course, acting isn’t enough for the Great Bastillon Pitch. He’d have to study and rank too, possibly. I couldn’t understand why he’d need to work with all that money.

“Stop calling me that.”

Damn, how does he raise just one eyebrow?

“It’s a name, Snow. Surely, even you know what their purpose it?”

What? I’m so confused right now. I rack my brains and ask myself if I’ve done anything to warrant such behavior but I come out short. Did I bump into him on the street and not apologize? Kick his dog? No to both because I’d remember being a shithead. I don’t want to be on bad blood with Bastillon Pitch, however, so I try to rein my irritation in. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot.

“What are you majoring in?”

He stares at me. Blinks. Stares. “I want to become a lawyer.” He draws out the words like he thinks I’m a moron.

Who knew it’d be hard to have a conversation with Bastillon Pitch? Not me.

“I think you playing a vile asshole has rubbed on your in real life personality.” This time, I’m teasing.

His laughter is a sound I’ve not heard before. It’s warm and cold, both at once like he’s rarely had the opportunity to full on laugh, uncontrolled and unpracticed and he’s not sure how to excel in the skill. I think that irks him, not being able to control it because he stops quickly though I won't forget how, for a moment, his eyes crinkled shut and how his fingers curled in. I shiver.

It’s like someone has clicked a button on his personality. His face becomes a mask of nonchalance. “Coffee.” He orders. “Tall and with milk.”

Disappointment finds its way to me. Despite the ongoing insults, it was exciting to spar with someone. I’m just usually bored here. I grind the dusty little machine on (it’s certainly not Starbucks material) and waits for the hum that it’s working before I assemble the milk and sugar, distinctly aware that eyes are trailing me.

“You’d be a good lawyer,” I say suddenly as I pour a teaspoon of milk in, anxious to continue the conversation. His eyes widen. “Make people all mad and that. That be two pounds.”

His lips twitch as he silently hands over the money. I draw up the bill and as I’m handing over the coffee, full to the brim in a paper cup. His nails brush the desk as he leans forward, breath warm against my cheek as he murmurs, “You’ve got a nice arse, Snow.”

And because, I’m Simon Snow, because I’m a walking disaster, because Bastillon Pitch is an asshole who deserves it, I splutter and my hands shake for one infinite second before the cup goes down, falling and the piping beverages jumps onto Baz’s leather clothes.

Times stops in that standstill of a second. Nothing moves. In that second, I’m not an idiot but the spell is broken and I realize what an A class clown I am.

“You’ve got a little coffee there.” I murmur, mortified as Bastillon Bloody Pitch stares at himself for several seconds before his charged animal eyes hook me in place.

“What the fuck, Snow?”

I splutter maniacally, flinging drool here and there. Sending a plea to the ground to swallow me up, I stumble in my haste to get some towels. I start to dab one on his chest and flush when I realize I’m essentially touching his breasts. I am touching Bastillon Pitch, Oh my Gosh.

Do not think about that, Simon Snow. Do not think about that.

Baz pushes me off and tugs the towel and wipes himself. He’s snarling and his eyes have darkened but I (shockingly) notice pink coloring his cheeks.

“Rubbing it won’t help, Bastillon. You’re supposed to dab-”

“I reckon you’d know a lot about this. This your ninth time dropping coffee on a customer? And I go by Baz, how many fucking times-”

I raise my hands and back away. He seems almost embarrassed but I do not want to be in the way of an angry ‘Baz’  Penny, please be there. “I’m sorry. Coffee’s on the house.”

“THERE IS NO COFFEE, TO BEGIN WITH!”

Well, he has a point there. I concede defeat and murmur apologies. Baz drops the towel on the floor like a wanker and storms out, the door slamming shut behind him and the texture of frost whipping across my face for a millisecond as I process the previous events.

The old ladies are looking at me and grinning. I bury my hands in my face and groan.

I could not catch a break.

---

“Snow!”

Fuck. What is he doing here? I shut my eyes for a second, try to collect any calm in this universe and curse softly.

“SNOW!”

I move out from the kitchen and press my apron, hastily. The warm aroma of coffee ground hits me as I step out the door and face to Bastillon.

“Hey.”

He sneers. “Where's the apron?”

My eyebrows pinch together and I look down at myself, just to double check. I had worn it.

“What are you on about, mate? It's right here.” I say and gesture to my clothes.

Surprisingly, Baz flushes and growls out, “Where's my apron, you moron?”

I know he's trying to be a really tough boy and crap but whenever he growls, it sounds really cute, almost like he's imitating a baby bear. I have the sudden urge to pinch his cheeks and coo over him.

“Snow!”

He even has the personality of a bear.

“Sorry. Lost in thought. What did you say?”

Baz shutting his eyes will forever be one of the most dramatic and exaggerated actions  in the world. It's like one of those slow things. First, he twists his fingers and they curl around the table. Then, his lips purse. All the while his eyes are slowly shutting. Maybe, he took classes for that.

“I said,” He manages to say. “Where the fuck is my apron?”

Sighing, I run a hand through my hair. “Look mate, I can make you a cup of perfectly fine coffee, provided you don't startle me like-”

“Urgh!” Baz implores to some deity. “I’m working here, you dumbass.”

I freeze.

There is no way I heard correctly.

“What?”

“Fucking Crowley.” He murmurs, throwing his look downwards.

Just when you think life’s picking up, when you finally move on from the incidents of yesterday and go a few hours without this complete and utter arse, Bastillon Pitch drops in and says, “Hey! I‘m going to work with you. ”

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Crowley, I'm going to need to tell my aunt about you.”

Somewhere inside me, my heart stumbles. “What?”

“My aunt?” Baz smirks. “The owner?”

Are you serious? Someone up there had it out for me. Embarrassment rings through me.

Pinching my lip, I have a revelation about what I must do. Alrighty then. I give him my apron and resign. Guns and Roses blare in the background as I do this mighty and heroic deed. I leap off the platform, pluck my sunglasses off and kiss the mole on Bastillon face because no matter how much of an asshole he is, I will forever be attracted to him before I pull away and slam the door on my way out.

Well, I imagine all of this. Could you tell? I really cannot believe my luck. Now, his aunt who I assumed was a perfectly good woman is going to fire me and I’ll live on the streets for all eternity. Staring at how happy Bastillon looks with the bombshell he's just dropped doesn't help me in the slightest. Moving to get him an apron, I throw it towards him and cross my arms as a thought strikes me.

“When did you start?”

Chuckling low and warm, Baz pulls the apron on top of himself and smiles. “And here I thought you were dull.  Yesterday.”

Xxxxxxxxx                                         

We’ve settled into a routine. Baz and I. It’s really just one rule though we’ve found it hard to obey. Do not interfere with the other.

Sometimes, I’m making coffee when Baz leg brushes against mine and while both of us turn pink, I choose not to say anything while he goes into a rage about how I’m an imbecile who hogs all the space and how ‘you hog all the space with your fucking stupidity, Snow!’

So I’d retaliate. The other day, for example, he’d asked me for a cuppa. He was on break and by obligation, I had to make him one so I set out to make a cup of tea when this brilliant idea struck me. I boiled the gatorade up and put it in a cup with sugar on its side. Waiting patiently as he raised his eyebrows, sipped the tea and then, spat it out, I couldn’t help but feel vicious satisfaction.

We play a bunch of games too. Not the friendly ones that children in playgrounds do but the ones that people with no lives and who thrive on annoying their rival do.

One of them is the growling game; every time, we roast each other and someone doesn’t retort but growls, loses. The other is The Quick Game; we have a tally on who serves the most customers. So far, Baz is winning by a marginal. (a lot) My favorite is the Embarrassment Game; when we’re talking to customers, we tell them ridiculous things about the other. Baz, of course, started it first. He had told one of my favorite customers that I’m a rather dull kid and his aunt had hired me in pity. I had told the next customer he was gay. He, surprisingly, didn’t have anything to say to that and we haven’t played the game since.

---

“You’d think that a barista would know how to make a cup of coffee.” Baz is saying to his aunt, Fiona who is coincidentally my boss. Did I mention that before? We’re at her office, not because she’s called me though that was what I was led to believe, cue angry glare at the boy on my left. “But Snow dropped the whole fucking mug, sorry, freaking mug on me on my first day and I had to go home.” Baz added, opting for a pout.

Crowley, he looks brilliant. Bugger. We’re playing the Embarrassment Game again and I am not ready, for once.

I try to display some professional mannerism. Might as well look good before I was fired. Still, I feel melancholic as I rack my brains about my future prospects. What would I work as now? Who’d want to hire me? The guy who can’t hold a cup of coffee? I wouldn’t hire me. I can’t help but feel resentment towards Baz.

“Simon.” Fiona reproaches, leaning forward, hands crinkling some papers as she does so. I liked Ms. Pitch. Despite her hubris and ridiculous attire; fluffy clothes that suited a ball venue and not a coffee shop, she was sweet when you (really) got to know her. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine her to be connected to Baz Pitch. It was typical of my luck for my rival’s aunt to be my boss. “I am very disappointed in you.”

My eyes shut, ashamed. You’d think I’d be used to it, right? The shouts that I’m not good enough but-

“You should have poured the whole bloody machine on his head. He certainly deserves it!”

Baz’s eyes widen proportionally while my mouth drops open.

“What?” We both articulate.

Ms. Pitch goes on as if she hasn’t heard out exclamations. “I thought I couldn’t love you anymore. I was wrong.” Her eyes fixate on me and I stare back, stupefied.

“Go on, then! You have a coffee shop to run.”

As I’m leaving, she says, “And Simon? Expect a raise soon.”

The door slams shut before I can express my stupefied gratitude. I think of going in, again but then I hear Baz’s groans and protests and my feet express a desire to get away, as quickly as possible.

Xxxxx

“Hey, Baz?” I begin, crumpling the cupcake wrapper in a ball and stuff the cake in my mouth. We’re on lunch break now. Sitting right in front of me is Baz though his focus is on his phone and not me. It’s a real pity. Is my sarcasm obvious? I wonder if he’s hungry. Looks like he’s starving. That would explain his pallid color. I know he’d prefer sitting away from me but it’s either here, in the kitchen or outside and attending to people. Every introvert’s worst nightmare. “Baz?”

He rolls his eyes at his phone and cranes his neck upwards. “What, Snow?”

I tsk. He’s like a fucking crab, always ready to bite my head off even though I’m perfectly pleasant. I suspect that even if the Queen of England were to knock, he’d slam the door in her face, grumbling about something.

“Do you ever eat?”

Surprise flashes in his eyes before he scoffs. “No, Snow. I don’t. I’m a vampire and I drink blood.”

I grin toothily at him. They’re probably yellow and red, resultants of the red velvet cupcake and gummy bears I had for lunch.

“Always knew you were a soul-sucking monster.”

Baz turns back to his phone though I can see a hint of a smile at his lips.

---

The other day, word got out that the Bastillon Pitch works at a humble cafe so we’ve been swarmed by teenage girls. Baz, true to his credit, threw them a stellar personality before he said rather dismissively, “We’re closing early! Technical issues.”

I had thrown him a look. “Baz. We worked at a cafe.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

I rolled my eyes and sent his fans a smile but they ignored me. “Can you sign this, Baz?” “Baz! Will you marry me?”

The requests were strange but Bas took them in stride. Soon, we had most of them out but camera lights still flashed in out direction. When we decided to close for the day, Baz and I lazed about in the room. Him working on study material and I worked on getting my Tumblr theme.

“I don't understand what those girls see in you.”

Baz barely spares me a glance as his fingers click the keyboard.

“I’m an actor, Snow.”

“And a real-life vampire.”

Baz grins. Hides it. “What are you studying?”

“I don't go to college anymore.”

“Oh?” Baz seems surprised. “If you wanted money, you could ask-”

I don't know if he's jesting or being genuinely kind but it stings me, regardless. “I don't want to go.”

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

---

“Sorry! I’m latte!” The pun comes naturally as I burst in the coffee shop, almost an hour late. The bell tinkles as I run towards the cashier.

Baz is leaning against the counter, no customers in sight. It’s a slow day. But apparently, I’ve made a horrendous mistake as Baz folds his arms over his chest and stares me down, the textbook picture of condescension.

“Thank Crowley” I breathe as I pull over my apron. Normally, I’m not late. I’m really not but today, right as I was about to leave the flat, Agatha comes barging in, tears cascading down her pretty face. Her mascara was smudged so I’d known she had been crying for hours.

“What’s wrong?” I had set her down on the sofa and went off to make some tea. That’s all I’ve been doing lately. Agatha started going on about how she missed me and agreed that maybe, we should have given us another shot.

“Let’s get back together, Si, alright?” Agatha had said, staring at me with those bluebell eyes I had grown so accustomed and fond of seeing.

And then, I had a revelation. I did not want us anymore. It wasn’t so much that I was afraid of being hurt again but something else. I had moved on. It felt weird because I was so used to being in love with her, I forgot the feeling of not loving her. And, this feeling was so great I wanted to giggle but I couldn’t do that, not with Agatha flooding my apartment with her tears so I had steered her out and said very softly, mind you that ‘No, I’m sorry, Aggy but no.”

Now, here I was, still panting and victim to ‘Bastillon Pitch Full On Glare’, something I did not want to ever see. He’d looks like he’s swallowed dung. So fucking angry.

“I met up with Agatha.” I say, shortly. That does not dissuade him in the slightest. If I had to say, he looked even angrier. I had rambled about my ex to him in the past weeks. I wish I hadn’t.

“Oh,” He says cooly. “And, I suppose the lovely pair has gotten together again?”

“I didn’t want to.” I pacify him and he cools down, slightly.

“Oh.” He sounds like Christmas has come early. Wanker.

“I can’t expresso your attitude-”

Baz groans. “Stop with the fucking puns, Snow. You’ve been on them since yesterday.”

“And you’re still not used to it? Oh, bugger.” I mock a sympathetic sigh.

And then out of the blue, he says something that sends my heart which is already pounding a million miles per hour, race again because he’s looking at me like that and the twat leaves the room after he says it, like he knows I can’t chase him after the bombshell he’s just dropped.

He stares me right in the eye and says, disinterestedly, “I’m gay.”

Xxx

Ever since he’s told me he’s gay, I feel like something’s changed between us. Do I tell him I’m gay or bisexual too? It’s gotten awkward. I tried to talk to him and transfer the message that I’m not homophobic to him but he gets all clammy if I’ve walked two steps up to him and begin with ‘Baz?’

Normally, I don’t let this bother me. We get on each other’s nerves. Totally normal if I kept persisting. But he looks genuinely uncomfortable and he probably regrets telling me even though I don’t know why he’s told me in the first place, to begin with. I steer out of his way the rest of the day.

As the day progresses, he gets even more on edge, nearly snapping at an old lady who couldn’t see the menu. I try to manage the orders and let him work near the machines. But after, he kicks the machine that we all know doesn’t work, I give up trying to soothe him.

When two people have filed a complaint, I almost facepalm. My killer headache helps in making my day worse. With that and Baz’s mood swings, there’s nothing more I want but to go back home. But of course, that’s when the day gets worse.

It’s nearly night when Fiona rings us up. She rarely comes to the shop but does her paperwork at home. Efficient and tactical.

Baz picks up the phone and I can hear Fiona’s distant chattering but I focus more on Baz’s darkening face. Suddenly, he slams the phone down and tells me, “Close down.”

“It’s not 8pm, yet,” I state, dumbly.

“Fast, you imbecile.”

“But-”

That is, of course, when the lights flicker off and we’re buried in darkness. Baz’s shadow stands out prominently, in front of me and his groan followed by a curse, splits the air.

“Blackout.” Baz explains when I continue staring as he drops on the ground. I rub my eyes and lean against the counter. This was perfect. Fiona had installed those automatic doors today in the afternoon, the ones that functioned on electricity so we were locked in. Two rivals trapped in a room together. Maybe, once I went insane, psychologists could study me and they’d be shocked with the observations.

And maybe, they'd be surprised at how much I still like Bastillon Pitch.

---

Charcoal darkness has winnowed in and coated us with anxiety and tension. There were no curtains so we’d stumbled behind the counter, afraid and weary.

“Sleep in the kitchen?” I say as we’re munching leftovers.

“You can take the kitchen.” He's talking to me. “I’ll sleep here.”

Scoffing, I nudge him with my foot which apparently sets him off. “Don't be ridiculous, Baz. We’re thin enough to fit in the kitchen.”

It'll be cramped and we’ll be arm to arm but I wager we’ll manage.

Baz tears through the bread with his teeth. “Fine.” He bites off.

My foot starts to sleep so I shake it.

“Would you stop doing that?” Baz murmurs after a few minutes. He sounds agitated as he rubs his head. We’re just sitting in darkness now, doing nothing but analyze each other.

“What?”

“Shaking your fucking foot, Snow. I'm trying to sleep.”

My jaw clenched. He was so infuriating sometimes. “You are not sleeping here.”

“Oh?” Baz scoffs, curling into the wall. “Since when do you care? You’re always running after-”

I let out an angry cry. And I don't think, I do. I want him to shut up. Surging forward, I notice how Baz’s monologue starts to delve. He has his eyes shut, I faintly register before I tilt my head and kiss him.

Bas stills and sags beneath my palms like I’m draining all of the oxygen in him. And Crowley, he’s so warm. I care, I try to tell him. You're the sun and I'm crashing into you. You mean so much to me.

I'm leaning over and when he doesn't respond, I pull away, disappointed and embarrassed. He's breathing heavily and I can see his grey beautiful eyes stare at me, wide with shock. I'm stumbling to get away when I fall into his lap. Pushing away, I’m horrified and about to fucking shoot myself.

All I can think about is how the door is locked and I'm trapped with a guy who's probably going to sue me because I assaulted him and oh my god, what am I-

“Snow.” Baz murmurs.

“Here,” I repeat like so long ago.

“Snow, what the fuck?” Baz is already departing his wall. At least, he’s engaged in being frustrated.

“Look, just don't tell the table-”

Baz tsks. “You’re such a moron, Snow.”

I splutter but then he kisses me.

And my mind goes blissfully blank.

---

We sleep in the kitchen that night, my arm draped across his body and his fingers twitching for me.

There’ll be time to talk about what I am, what we are later. How it’ll affect the press and other matters.

For now, it doesn't matter. We don't care. It's just us, two boys who’ve found solace and whose heart aches for the other, suspended in the dark, in time.

It's Baz and me.

[elizadoolittlethings]

The Monday Interview: Mark Gatiss - Top of the League

The Monday Interview: Mark Gatiss - Top of the League 

Published: 19:14 Updated: 19:27 Sunday 16 November 2008

ALTHOUGH it's bad form to ogle someone else's husband, I can't help admiring Mark Gatiss's rather sexy legs. They seem to stretch to his neck, meeting a scruffy beard that adds a raffish edge to his air of sexual devilry. 

This tastiness is a far cry from the grotesques he's so often portrayed, from his days as a member of The League of Gentlemen, to frizzy-haired, gap-toothed Glen Bulb of Nighty Night, and Doctor Who's maniacal Dr Lazarus.

This dishiness is very on-message, since we're here talking about his third mainstream novel, Black Butterfly, starring charismatic spy extraordinaire Lucifer Box, whose adventures in bisexuality are every bit as breathtaking as his undercover work for monarch and country. Each Box novel visits a different era, allowing Gatiss to pay homage to some of his favourite authors. The Vesuvius Club, set in the early 1900s, evoked Conan Doyle. The Devil in Amber found Box battling Nazis and Stalinists, and was Gatiss's homage to Dennis Wheatley and John Buchan. Preparing for Black Butterfly, set in 1953, heimmersedhimself in Ian Fleming and contemplated the machinations of John le Carr's spies. But for all these acknowledged influences, Lucifer Box is a spy like no other. Gatiss explains: "I am a gay man who loves James Bond films and snooker – all kinds of working-class pursuits. I didn't set out to deliberately respond to themasculinity. I'mfascinatedthat somanyspieswere or are gay,but I also like the idea, which le Carr showed, that the real job is much more prosaic." Surely a great spy would be ruthless enough to shag anything? "Yes, and also back in the day, the natural people to approach were people who were already lying about themselves.When homosexuality was illegal these people already had a different identity. What's interesting is that simultaneously to recruiting known homosexuals, they were also perceived as a security risk, precisely because of the blackmail thing.The recruiters must have known and actually relied on it, but it was always a worry." "Black Butterfly" is the French nickname for depression, but here it's also the name of a nefarious drug that imbues people with a euphoric sense of infallibility – before propelling them to grisly ends.When Box is poisoned he believes that he's young again – and behaves accordingly – until the antidote is administered by the object of his affections, a dishy CIA operative called Kingdom Kum. With a respectful nod to JaneMarple, I suggest there must be special challenges in writing about a geriatric spy. "I've never been specific, but he's obviously in his late seventies. I thought the thing to do was mention every now and then how much it hurts (to leap about], but if you keep going on about it then readers stop wanting to go on the journey. You have to believe he's still in good shape even though he's very old. "I was thinking about whether therewouldbeany sex scenes and how to handle it; itmademethink that maybe I couldgetawaywith this idea of thedrugmaking him young again. "The bit when he's on the drug was my favourite part to write. I carried a notebook around and wrote in a stream of consciousness way. I found it really liberating. I'd open my eyes on a beach – what did I see? What colour are my eyelids when closed with the sun on them? I was filming in Morocco and noticed a beetle that was like a sculpture rolling down the dunes. I was trying to create very vivid snapshots." Proving that the lines between life and art blur,whilewritingBlack Butterflyhewas sent theDoctorWhoscriptthat foundhimplaying a man in search of eternal youth. "I thought, 'Oh, there's a message here,'" he jokes. At 42, he must be increasingly aware of his ownageing? "I'vebeenhavingthose thoughts since Iwas 20! Evenwhen Iwas a childI always wanted to be older. I realised just in time that it's a mistake and to enjoy my youth while I hadit. If Imeetsomeonearound20,who's a bit like I was, I want to say, 'Get out! Have fun.' Becauseyourknees start togo,myeyes aregoing. Ithappens overnight. In the car, trying to read the A-Z, I'msuddenly like my dad!" He also says he had a youthful morbid streak: "Mymumused to say I had an old soul. As long as I can remember Iwas looking backwards. I remember my mumorganised a singalong for pensioners in about 1970, and I used to love singing the old Blitz songs." He smiles. "They are called Emos now, and before that they were Goths. They didn't have a name for it when I was one, but I was that black-wearing teenager and yes, I wore a little eyeliner. I was really into horror. On the less negative side, I was fascinated by the idea that peoplehadbeenhere beforeme. Ihave a print Julia Davis (the writer and star of Nighty Night] gave me of (my neighbourhood] around the time my house was built, in the 1760s, and it has cows on it, yet it's recognisably the same street. I love that idea of the changes." This historical bent dovetails nicely with his delight in wordplay. The Box novels are peppered with silly names, which often occur to him in the bath, a site he finds conducive to deep thinking. Thus Lucifer's sister is Pandora Box, and his Black Butterfly nemesis, Melissa ffawthawte, is affiliated with nefarious baddies A.C.R.O.N.I.M. My own favourite is the "cadre of psychoanalysts-cum-mercenaries known as the Jung Turks".

Both times we've met, Gatiss has patiently explainedthat itonly looks as thoughheworks night and day, but I'msure you'll agree his output is impressive. In addition to the novel, he recentlywrote (andappearedin) an episode of Poirot, filmed the upcoming TV programme Purves & Pekkala, written and directed by Annie Griffinandfilmedhere in Scotland,and the sitcom Clone, which stars Jonathan Pryce. He's busy writing episodes of the next full season of Doctor Who, for an as yet un-cast (or so he says) Doctor.Knowinghowmuch he coveted the role, andthat he's close friendswith all involved, I try teasing an indiscretion out of him, but Gatiss remains frustratingly closedmouthed. "I haven't a clue. I found David's announcement incredibly moving. I knew he was going, but I love the fact he did it in the interval, dressed as Hamlet, and he was accepting the award, but he had to find the moment to tell everyone. He's going at the top of his game which is always the best and themost difficult thing to do, because I know he loves it." Is there a Hamlet, a Lear, or another classic role he longs to play? Without hesitation, he says, "Oh yes, Richard II. It's a very underrated play, a fabulous part – beautiful. He was a very weak king but there's this fantastic poetry about his desire to stay on the throne despite being incredibly compromised. It has that wonderful line, 'I have wasted time and now doth time waste me.' I'd like to do that." Amidall this activity, Gatiss foundtime, last spring, to get married. He and Ian have been together for nearly a decade, so I wonder if marriage changed their relationship at all. "I feel subtly different," he says. "I don't know what it is, but it's nicer. It was a lovely, very moving day. I was most moved by the notion of our families coming together. My brother said it's the best wedding he's ever beento. Itwasamazing to think that our families were so completely at ease with the whole idea of a gay wedding. And then there was the incredible irony that it took place in Middle Temple underneath a portrait of Sir Edward Carson, the man who prosecuted Oscar Wilde. So when I did my little speech the first thing I did was flick him two fingers. 'This one's for Oscar.'"

Black Butterfly is out now from Simon &Schuster (15).Mark willbein conversation about his work on 18 November at 6:30pm at Waterstone's (Sauchiehall Street) in Glasgow, 0141 332 9105; 19 November at 7pm at Waterstone's (Union Bridge) in Aberdeen, 01224592440; 20 November at 6pm at Waterstone's (West End) in Edinburgh, 0131 226 2666. For more details, contact the stores or log on to: www.simonsays.co.uk

BACKGROUND A FEW things that might surprise you about Mark Gatiss: • The League of Gentlemen won the 1997 Perrier Award for comedy, the first sketch group to win since the awards were inaugurated in 1981. • A massive fan of the show, Gatiss started writing Doctor Who novels (four to date) when he was a penniless actor. • Growing up in County Durham, he lived opposite a psychiatric hospital, where both his parents worked and where he toiled as a gardener during his first year at college. He and Ian are the devoted 'parents' of Bunsen, a Labrador retriever. • He's starred opposite Julia Davis twice –as Glen Bulb in Nighty Night, and again as Johnnie Cradock in Fear of Fanny. • In 2003 he was the script editor for eight episodes of Little Britain. • As French poet Louis Aragon, he played opposite Ewan Bremner's Salvador Dali in Surrealissimo: The Trial of Salvador Dali. The cast list included Stephen Fry (Andre Breton), Vic Reeves (Paul Eluard) and both members of The Mighty Boosh! Read more at: https://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/the-monday-interview-mark-gatiss-top-of-the-league-1-1147037

[theliterateape]

I Like to Watch | Eternals (2021)

by Don Hall

All dogs joyfully sniff the butts of all other dogs but some ass just doesn't smell right.

Anyone who follows my cultural opining knows how much I love the MCU. I'll fully admit that questions of intellect and taste may accompany your suspicions about me given I have likely viewed most of the Marvel films dozens of times and never seem to tire of them.

While not as zealous about Marvel as I am about Apple products, I could be considered a full-born shill for the stories of Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, and the host of characters and tales of improbable CGI-generated super powers on display. I likewise enjoy the DCEU but my heart will always steer toward Marvel.

The appeal of Marvel over DC for me is the entire Gods or Humans debate. DC is an alien being adopted by humans with more power than can be imagined (with Batman being a notable exception). Marvel is a normal science geek high school kid bitten by a radioactive spider. DC is filled with gods and billionaires. Marvel is filled with people just like me with powers they didn't ask for. DC has a destiny. Marvel has a responsibility.

That said, not all Marvel movies are good.

2015's Avengers: Age of Ultron is a bit of a turd despite a few amazing moments. I love the Hulkbuster fight between Stark and Banner, the introduction of Wanda and Pietro, and the creation of Vision. Unfortunately, the thing is a mess and seems to only serve as launching pad for the Sakovia Accords, Wakanda, and getting Hulk off-world. . 

2010's Iron Man 2 kind of bites the crap hotdog. Still a decent enough introduction of Black Widow and the inclusion of Sam Rockwell but the bullshit performance by Mickey Rourke and weak ending make this a lesser outing.

2013's Thor: The Dark World is a fucking snooze. 2019's Captain Marvel is unnecessarily preachy. 2016's Doctor Strange is just a rehashed Iron Man.

I've still watched these movies more than once (in order to complete each puzzle piece in a completist sort of way) but they are not on my list of Best and Brightest.

The Fiege Formula of getting top-notch directors to helm these live-action cartoons has resulted in some extraordinarily solid storytelling even within a fairly rigid structure. Making a movie with predetermined characters in a larger storyline than the individual film and making it unique is a challenge.

Ryan Coogler did it with Black Panther primarily by imbuing Kilmonger a genuine and convincing rationale for his villainy. Taika Waititi nailed Thor: Ragnorak by giving the entire enterprise a sense of absurdist humor. The Russos knocked things out of the park with Avengers: Infinity Wars and Avengers: Endgame—which is no easy task, juggling a cast of so many characters in such huge set pieces and managing to also present a cohesive storyline with solid emotional beats.

I wanted to love Chloe Zhao's Eternals. I love her debut film The Rider and enjoyed Nomadland. Unlike most of the MCU, I had no previous experience with these characters as I had never once read their series. New characters, cool new premise, Oscar winning director, rumors of some big swings at bat including one of the most ethnically diverse casts in MCU history, an out gay hero, and a sex scene? I'm in.

I wanted to love Chloe Zhao's Eternals and, after seeing it, I saw my wife. "It was fun!" I said. Then I started doing what people don't believe Marvel fans do—I started thinking about it and the fun seeped from my fingers like the spice of Dune.

First, and before I start nitpicking bad directorial choices, the common thread in critique that the MCU formula was too constricting for an observational filmmaker like Zhao is nonsense. Zhao pitched Marvel, not the other way around. She pitched Eternals. She is the primary writer of the script. Any argument that she was not fully in charge of this thing is delusional.

Second, Eternals is ambitious like few other Marvel films. 7,000 years to explain. Effectively an origin story of the universe. A Creator myth that includes the creation of all planets and life, Celestials, Deviants, the bizarre planet-destroying births of other Celestials, as well as a central story involving ten heroes, their relationships to one another, to the immortality they endure, and why they exist in the first place. In one movie. So give 'em a bit of a break.

Third, Zhao has almost single-handedly pushed the MCU into some much needed territory culturally. Say what you want about casting that big net of humanity (and you will), the rainbow coalition of heroes is beautiful to see and important to note. I love my white guy heroes as much as anyone but the widening of ethnicities grounds theis universe into the reality that we live. Contrary to most identitarians, this is easily the most color-blind casting I’ve seen thus far.

OK. Let's get into this.

Based on the series introduced by Jack Kirby in 1976 when he seemed to be tripping on acid, Eternals skips back and forth through the centuries and ancient civilizations: Babylon, Mesopotamia and the Gupta Empire. The Eternals are on Earth to protect humanity from the Deviants. After they kill off the Deviants, the Eternals scatter to live human lives until they get called back by the six-eyed mega-god who sent them in the first place. While there, they are instructed by their Den Mother, Ajak (a woefully under utilized Salma Hayek), to not interfere with humanity's natural evolution. Like the Star Trek Prime Directive but for gods.

Turns out they left Kho, a power absorbing Deviant, and four or five others alive but frozen in the ice. Global warming melts the ice and Kho is off to kill the Eternals.

The Eternals are: 

Sersi (Gemma Chan), the alchemist; Ikaris (Richard Madden), with the gift of flight and laser eyes; Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani), who shoots energy blasts from his hands and does his best to crack wise; and Sprite (Lia McHugh), who can cast illusions but is trapped in a child's body. Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry), who can create advanced technologies with light; Makkari (Lauren Ridloff), a speedster who is also deaf; Druig (Barry Keoghan), mind control; Gilgamesh (Don Lee) with super punching strength, and Thena (Angelina Jolie), who can summon weapons from thin air. Ajak has healing powers for when the Deviants get a solid shot in there.

I like the diversity in the cast. It reflects the world around me and provides a deeper tapestry of humanity (you know, except unlike most Marvel characters, these folks aren't human so the cultural histories involving skin color, gender, and sexual preference don't really have anything to do with these god-like figures). Unfortunately, it feels more like a checklist for a corporate board hiring formula than any authentic use of the highly inclusive cast.

EXAMPLE: Makkari is deaf. And fast. And black. Her blackness is a non-issue. Her deafness has nothing to do with her speed. Lauren Ridloff is deaf in real life so it makes sense to cast her as a deaf hero. Except, in a scene set in 575 BC, using American sign language that hasn't been invented, she tells two Babylonians that she can sense all vibrations around her including the vibrations of their voices. Which is hearing. Her character can interpret sound vibrations so she can ostensibly hear. This means she isn't actually deaf at all and then why the fuck use sign language?

Cuz diversity? Gimme a break, wilya? I’m an idiot watching the movie. I guarantee someone mentioned this detail yet no one gave a shit?

SPOILER: The Eternals are synthetic beings created by the mega-god to fight the Deviants. Why would the mega-god intentionally create one of his ten with a disability unless the deafness somehow was essential to her powers (which it is not)?

ZHAO: "We're going to include a sex scene between Sersi and Ikaris."

DISNEY: "What? My god, you are a true groundbreaker!"

ZHAO: "It's essential because these two actors have zero chemistry and the dialogue I've written to indicate they fall in love is really pretty bad. Sex is the only way we can demonstrate that they're a couple."

DISNEY: "OK. You win. Since it's the very first sex scene in twenty-four movies, I hope it's really amazing!"

ZHAO: "Nah. We'll film it from the chest up, chastely focusing on their faces. It’s ten seconds of broadly suggested missionary. We'll light it poorly, too."

DISNEY: "Hmmmm. Will they at least look like the sex is superheroic?"

ZHAO: "Nope. They'll have the same slightly bored, slightly in-thought looks on their faces as they do on the poster."

Speaking of looking bored, Zhao has A-List stars in this thing and a few spectacular actors to boot and, if you'd never seen any of them in any other film before Eternals, you'd think "Where did they get these terrible actors?" Jolie looks forlorn and uninspired throughout as if her motivation was "Where's my fucking check?"

The colors are muted, the emotions are muted, the stakes are silly*. I don't have to believe the world is ending but the heroes need to emotionally give a shit for me to buy-in. At no point does any one of these actors look like they believe the world is ending and, I'm sorry, but the reason to violate their robot programming to allow humanity to be destroyed is the tired trope of "Humans suck ass but they love sometimes, too" is weak sauce in a storyline that is, in its way, Biblical. Wonder Woman did it much better despite the shitty god-fight at the end.

* Yeah, most Marvel movies have silly stakes but if Tony Stark doesn't seem to care if Thanos wins, how am I supposed to give a flying Infinity Stone Gauntlet West Side Story snapping fuck?

My wife asked me what my favorite moments were and I was struck dumb. I couldn't think of a single moment. "I loved the end credit scene?"

Not everyone likes the MCU. My friend Don Smith (actor, Los Angeles) pretty much hates the existence of the franchise. Most of the critics bemoaning the unholy union of an Oscar winning director and the Marvel formula are simply rehashing their existing distaste for the MCU. Most idiots bitching about the diversity thing are desperately clinging to a worldview that is moving past them.

I love the MCU. I’m incredibly excited about the upcoming Spiderman and Doctor Strange. I’m even looking forward to the Hawkeye TV show. I'll be fine forgetting Eternals just like I'm fine forgetting Ang Lee's HULK, the two bullshit Fantastic Four movies, and the last couple of X Men bags of shit.

At the end of Guardians of the Galaxy the placard popped up saying "The Guardians Will Return" and I was thrilled. At the end of this thing, the same placard popped up—"The Eternals Will Return"— and my face was immediately identical to the nonplussed, apathetic look Jolie had for the duration of the film.

Don Smith will be ecstatic.

[searbao]

(The Sunday Times article for those of you unable to read it)

Last Sunday, just days after being nominated for an Oscar, Timothée Chalamet bounded into a busy London bar like a man who still believes nobody knows who he is. Heads turned. Autograph hunters were in the yard outside. At one point during our interview, he shouted “Boom!” so loudly that tables of drinkers turned, stared, turned back, then turned around again. “It’s, it’s...” one said, slightly uncertain as to who he was or, more likely, how to pronounce his first name.

It’s plain old “Timothy”; and what filmgoers recognise him for is his breakthrough role in Call Me by Your Name, a gay coming-of-age story that has grown from cult hit to mainstream contender. He is smart and sensitive as Elio, who falls for his family’s American hunk of a guest, Oliver (Armie Hammer), during a picturesque Italian summer.

In person, Chalamet’s hair bounces, as does the rest of him. He is thin and wiry; as graceful as a ballerina and as energetic as the Duracell bunny; fond of light physical affection. He talks at the motormouth clip typical of Hell’s Kitchen, New York, where he grew up.

I have never met anyone as delighted to be alive as he is right now. Who can blame him? At 22, he is, for Elio, the youngest best actor nominee since 1944. He would be the youngest ever winner: not bad, considering he was previously best known for a bit part in Homeland and quit Columbia University to audition for, but not be cast in, Manchester by the Sea and the latest Spider-Man. In a fortnight, he will be at the Baftas for both lead actor and the coveted rising-star prize. But everyone knows it’s the Academy Awards that matter most. How does all that feel?

“This is how it matters to me,” he says. “Call Me by Your Name has gone beyond my wildest dreams. People came out because of that film. But I don’t want to be known for something that happened when I was young. So [the nomination] comes with tremendous gratitude and is something I’ll humblebrag about to my friends and family, yet this is hopefully just the start. There’d better be more.”

The good news, I say, is that he is unlikely to win, as voters seem unable to look past Gary Oldman’s prosthetics in Darkest Hour. So the accolade might be a millstone, but not as heavy as it could be. He laughs at my cheek.

“The truth is, you want to prepare a speech, but — I don’t know,” he says, frozen. “These ceremonies are overwhelming enough, independent of having to get up in front of legends and have your mouth move.” A fellow nominee, Daniel Kaluuya, the young British star of Get Out, is equally excited. “When we lock eyes,” he says of Kaluuya, “we give each other a look of ‘What the f*** is happening?’”

The crazy thing is that Call Me by Your Name is only the second best film starring Chalamet nominated for best picture this year. The best is Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig’s exquisite straight coming-of-age story, in which Saoirse Ronan’s titular teen struggles with men and her studies. It’s an astonishingly astute film, with Chalamet playing Ronan’s second boyfriend. He sits by the pool reading literature, looking brooding — which is exactly what Elio does. Chalamet claps along loudly when I bring up typecasting. He’s too hot now to sweat the small stuff.

Gerwig has been nominated for best director at the Oscars, which makes her the story of the night. Although other awards have found room for Lady Bird in several categories, they have overlooked the one that counts: best director. Some thought her film was simple compared to, say, Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, with its crew of hundreds moving a boat off a beach, and that such traditionally male-made projects are simply harder to do. Size matters, it seems, to panels of predominantly male voters. Or perhaps they just don’t like women to direct.

“There’s no difference in being directed by a woman,” Chalamet says sharply. “But in the public representation, there is a huge difference, and that’s why it’s so important Greta was nominated, and so shocking she is just the fifth woman to be so.”

He looks bemused as I float the idea it might be easier to make a film that is character-driven, as is Lady Bird, than something on a grander scale. “And it’s interesting,” he adds, “that the conversation is framed in relation to production of the movie, because it’s clear that it’s way harder to get an audience for smaller films. Budgets are significantly less.” He sounds irked, clearly finding questions about the battle of the sexes dated and odd.

Yet Chalamet should be used to this by now. He has come into the industry in the era of Time’s Up, which strives for better treatment for all, especially women. It’s hard being in the middle of a storm that’s still raging. There was a late caveat to this interview, namely that I couldn’t ask Chalamet about Woody Allen. The actor recently donated his salary for the director’s forthcoming movie, A Rainy Day in New York, which he filmed last summer, to funds including Time’s Up. He had made a statement about it a couple of weeks ago, and that was that.

I pushed back. Journalists have been accused of dodging difficult questions, but if the interviewee refuses to be asked, that leaves us in limbo. I was then allowed one specific question about Allen, by email. I asked three. Chalamet answered this one: “You were the first lead to donate your salary for a Woody Allen film. What has been the reaction to your statement?”

He replied: “I’m just focusing on the work as much as possible. I mean, I literally get to have this conversation with you in relation to Lady Bird, which freshly presents a female coming-of-age story, independent of a male romance being the catalyst; and to Call Me by Your Name, which similarly presents male coming-of-age with a new lens… Thanks to these films, I’m getting new opportunities. But I’ve also learnt that, along with the opportunities, I have new responsibilities, and none of this is lost on me.”

I have sympathy for him. Allegations against Allen have been public for years, and it’s not as if established A-listers such as Cate Blanchett or Javier Bardem are quizzed about their decision to work for the director. Chalamet’s feeling, I imagine, is that his salary statement was enough, and such a move has probably helped end Allen’s career anyway. I’d be stunned if anyone sees A Rainy Day in New York, and gobsmacked if a leading actor signs up for his scripts again.

Still, although we can’t talk about Allen, we can discuss Time’s Up. Chalamet is in a business going through a great upheaval. He calls it a “really important moment in Hollywood”, and there’s a sense that, like every new generation, he looks at those above him with suspicion, at times even disdain. “I’m in a new wave of actors that doesn’t stand for stuff like this and is part of that change,” he says proudly. “It’s actually been a lesson for me to learn what the — well, prejudices isn’t the right way to put it — the old-school way of thinking was. How they used to talk about these things.”

Does he expect the change Time’s Up seeks will be organic? “It would be a little passive to say it’s going to be totally organic,” he says bluntly. “But we’ve seen in the last months that there is real momentum.”

I can’t shift from my head some theatre I saw him do online from five years ago. The monologue was from White People by JT Rogers. After a largely satirical diatribe, he ended with a furious — and heartfelt — “What right does any human being have to be hateful?” before storming off stage.

Call Me by Your Name’s fandom is now at such a pitch that it already has its own nerds. They have noticed that the opening line of Love My Way, the track Armie Hammer does an elaborate dance to, is: “There’s an army on the dancefloor.” Cute. “OK, I did not know that,” Chalamet admits. Just that morning, they were discussing a possible film in which “he plays a president and I play a KGB spy”. They are the Brangelina we need right now.

Yet leave any film in the sun for long enough and it will get burnt. First, there has been press and online comment that it’s a story about grooming, which is weird, given that Elio is 17, Oliver is 24 and the age of consent in most American states is 16; in Italy, it’s 14. Still, that criticism persists. As does one about straight actors — which Chalamet and Hammer are — playing gay men. It can’t have been for box office, given that the former was unknown, but critics have questioned why out actors couldn’t be cast instead.

Chalamet pauses, which is rare, and answers carefully, as if they teach actors how to make a statement in the age of the hashtag along with the Stanislavski method.

“Well, first, it’s important for actors of all identifications to be represented, so any propulsion to bring that movement forward is good,” he begins. “But as relates to Call Me by Your Name, this is a story that presents love, sexuality, identification and orientation in a definitionless way. That’s one of the beautiful things about the movie. Ultimately, Luca [Guadagnino] is the best person to talk to, because this is his film and he does what he wants.”

“I don’t know anything about the sexuality of Armie or Timothée,” the director said huffily when I interviewed him last year, before adding that he didn’t think Elio would necessarily be a gay man later in life. Maybe the amount you care about the sexuality of the cast in Call Me by Your Name is directly related to how binary you consider sexuality. The film’s youngest actor, like most of his millennial peers, simply doesn’t care.

What about a sequel? “F***, yeah,” Chalamet says. “It’d be a dream. And the great thing about being an actor is that the storytelling would have nothing to do with me.”

I wish him luck with “those awards” as he leaves for another ceremony. He laughs. I meant the Oscars. “Oh, those awards?” He laughs louder, as if it hasn’t sunk in, and disappears into the lift. Up, up he goes, and, hours later, is named actor of the year by the London Critics’ Circle, beating that Oldman.

[aion-rsa]

Disney+ UK Star Launch: Complete List of New TV Shows and Films

https://ift.tt/2P7STsN

We came for The Mandalorian, stuck around for WandaVision, and, as we wait for The Falcon and Winter Soldier and Loki to arrive, there’s now a huge pile of new catalogue additions to work through, courtesy of Disney Plus’ Star brand.

Star launched on the Disney Plus streaming service in territories outside of the US (where Disney already has a home for adult drama in Hulu) on the 23rd of February. It’s added over 75 TV shows and 280 feature films here in the UK, including the entirety of Lost, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The X-Files, Glee, Prison Break, Sons of Anarchy and Scrubs as well as cult favourites Firefly, Flashforward, Terriers and more. There are also some UK debuts in the form of the Star Originals listed below.

Film-wise, there’s ample reason to go back to the 90s in the form of Arachnophobia, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Con Air and a host of others, plus…well, it’s almost 300 films. Chances are you’ll find something to tickle your fancy. Households with kids should know there are new parental controls to set too, ensuring that nobody gets any unwelcome surprises.

Here’s the complete list of titles so far:

Star Originals

Big Sky

From Mr TV himself, David E. Kelley (Doogie Howser, Chicago Hope, Ally Mcbeal, Big Little Lies) comes a nine-part crime thriller starring Ryan Philippe and Vikings‘ Katheryn Winnick. Based on the 2013 novel The Highway by C.J. Box, Big Sky is the story of a series of missing girls and a private detective/cop trio with a messy personal history who team up to find them. It aired on ABC in the US last winter.

Helstrom

There’s very little fanfare for this comic book show‘s UK debut, which met with mostly negative reviews on release and was cancelled after 10 episodes, but Marvel completists will want to take a look. Tom Austen and Sidney Lemmon play the Helstrom siblings Daimon and Satana, the children of serial killers who hunt down the worst of humanity.

Love, Victor

Another Hulu original making its UK debut, this teen drama spins off from celebrated gay teen 2018 film Love, Simon. It’s narrated by Nick Robinson, who played Simon in the original film, and follows the story of a Puerto-Rican/Colombian-American teen living in Atalanta. Reviews for the 10-part first season were strong and it’s been renewed for a second.

Solar Opposites

Rick and Morty‘s Justin Roiland and Star Trek: Lower Decks‘s Mike McMahan are the creators of this adult animated comedy series about a family of aliens (pictured above) forced to seek refuge in middle America. Season one was enthusiastically received, and a second run is due to air in the US in March. Read plenty more about it here.

TV Series

According To Jim, Seasons 1 – 8 Alias, Seasons 1-5 American Dad, Seasons 1-16 Animal Fight Night, Seasons 1-6 Apocalypse World War I, Season 1 Apocalypse: The Second World War, Season 1 Atlanta, Seasons 1-2 Blackish, Seasons 1-5 Bloody Tales Of Europe, Season 1 Bloody Tales Of The Tower, Season 1 Bones, Seasons 1-12 Brothers & Sisters, Seasons 1-5 Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Seasons 1-7 Buried Secrets Of WWII, Season 1 Burn Notice, Seasons 1-7 Castle, Seasons 1-8 Code Black, Seasons 1-3 Cougar Town, Seasons 1-6 Desperate Housewives, Seasons 1-8 Devious Maids, Seasons 1-4 Drugs, Inc. Seasons 2-7 Family Guy, Seasons 1-18 Feud: Bette And Joan, Season 1 Firefly, Season 1 Flashforward, Season 1 The Fosters, Seasons 1- 5 The Gifted, Seasons 1-2 Glee, Seasons 1-6 Grey’s Anatomy, Seasons 1-15 The Hot Zone, Season 1 How I Met Your Mother, Seasons 1-9 Inside North Korea’s Dynasty, Season 1 The Killing, Seasons 1-4 LA 92 Lance, Season 1 Lie To Me, Seasons 1-3 Lost, Seasons 1-6 Mafia Confidential Maradona Confidential Mars, Seasons 1-2 Modern Family, Seasons 1-8 O.J.: Made In America Perception, Seasons 1-3 Prison Break, Seasons 1-5 Raising Hope, Seasons 1-4 Resurrection, Seasons 1-2 Revenge, Seasons 1-4 Rosewood, Seasons 1-2 Scandal, Seasons 1-7 Scream Queens, Seasons 1-2 Scrubs, Seasons 1-9 Sleepy Hollow, Seasons 1-4 Snowfall, Seasons 1-3 Sons Of Anarchy, Seasons 1-7 The Strain, Seasons 1-4 Terra Nova, Season 1 Terriers, Season 1 Trust, Season 1 Ugly Betty, Season 1-4 Ultimate Survival WWII, Season 1 Valley Of The Boom, Season 1 Witness To Disaster, Season 1 WWII Bomb Hunters The X-Files, Season 1-9 The 2000s: The Decade We Saw It All, Season 1 24, Season 1-9 24: Legacy, Season 1 The 80s: The Decade That Made Us, Season 1 9/11 Firehouse The 90s: The Last Great Decade? Season 1 9-1-1, Season 1-2

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By John Saavedra

Films

The 13th Warrior 42 to 1 9 to 5 Adam (2009) The Air Up There The Alamo (2004) Anna And The King Annapolis Another Earth Another Stakeout Anywhere But Here Arachnophobia Australia Bachelor Party Bad Ass Bad Company (2002) Bad Company (Aka: Tool Shed) Bad Girls (1994) Bad Times At The El Royale Baggage Claim The Banger Sisters Be Water Beaches Before And After (1996) Belle Beloved (1998) The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Best Laid Plans Big Trouble Billy Bathgate Black Nativity Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation … Boys Don’t Cry Braveheart Breaking And Entering Bringing Out The Dead Broadcast News Brokedown Palace Broken Lizard’s Club Dread Brothers In Exile Brown Sugar Bubble Boy Bulworth Bushwhacked Can’t Buy Me Love Casanova (2005) Catch That Kid Cedar Rapids Chain Reaction Chasing Papi Chasing Tyson Choke The Clearing Cleopatra (1963) Cocktail Cocoon: The Return Cold Creek Manor The Color Of Money Come See The Paradise The Comebacks Commando (1985) Con Air Conan The Barbarian Confetti Consenting Adults A Cool Dry Place Cousin Bette Crazy/Beautiful Crimson Tide The Crucible Cyrus Damien – Omen Ii The Darjeeling Limited Dark Water Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008) The Day The Series Stopped Day Watch Deadpool 2 Dead Presidents Deceived (1991) The Deep End Deep Rising Deion’s Double Play The Devil Wears Prada Devil’s Due Die Hard 2 Die Hard With A Vengeance Double Take Down And Out In Beverly Hills Down Periscope Dragonball: Evolution Dreaming Of Joseph Lees Drive Me Crazy The Drop Duets The East Ed Wood The Edge Encino Man Enemy Of The State Enough Said Evita Exodus: Gods And Kings The Fab Five (2011) Far From The Madding Crowd (2015) The Fault In Our Stars The Favourite The Final Conflict Firestorm (1998) The Fly (1986) For The Boys Four Falls Of Buffalo French Connection II The French Connection From Hell Gentlemen Broncos A Good Day To Die Hard Good Morning, Vietnam The Good Son (1993) A Good Year The Grand Budapest Hotel The Great White Hype Grosse Pointe Blank Guilty As Sin Gun Shy The Happening Here On Earth High Fidelity High Heels And Low Lifes Hitchcock Hoffa Holy Man Hope Springs (2003) I Heart Huckabees I Love You, Beth Cooper I Origins I Think I Love My Wife Idiocracy In America In Her Shoes Independence Day Independence Day: Resurgence Inventing The Abbotts Jennifer’s Body The Jewel Of The Nile John Tucker Must Die Johnson Family Vacation Jordan Rides The Bus Joshua Just Married Just Wright Kingdom Come Kissing Jessica Stein Kung Pow: Enter The Fist Ladyhawke The Ladykillers (2004) Last Dance (1996) Le Divorce The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou Live Free Or Die Hard Looking For Richard Mad Love (1995) The Man From Snowy River Margaret The Marine Marked For Death The Marrying Man Martha Marcy May Marlene MASH Max Payne The Maze Runner Medicine Man Melinda And Melinda Metro Miami Rhapsody Miller’s Crossing Moulin Rouge (2001) My Father The Hero Mystery, Alaska The Namesake Nature Boy Never Die Alone The Newton Boys Night Watch (2006) No Mas Nothing To Lose Notorious Office Space One Hour Photo Oscar And Lucinda The Other Woman (2014) Our Family Wedding Out To Sea Pathfinder (2007) Phat Girlz Phone Booth Planet Of The Apes (1968) Planet Of The Apes (2001) Pony Excess The Poseidon Adventure (1972) Post Grad Powder The Preacher’s Wife Pretty Woman Primeval The Puppet Masters The Pyramid Quills Quiz Show Ravenous Rebound Renaissance Man Revenge Of The Nerds Ii: Nerds In Paradise The Ringer Robin Hood (1991) The Rocker Romancing The Stone Ruby Sparks Runaway Bride Rushmore Ruthless People The Savages Say It Isn’t So The Scarlet Letter Sea Of Shadows The Secret Life Of Bees Separate Lies The Sessions Shadow Conspiracy Shallow Hal Shining Through The Siege Signs Simon Birch A Simple Twist Of Fate The Sitter (2011) Six Days, Seven Nights Sleeping With The Enemy Solaris Someone Like You Soul Food Spy Hard Stakeout Starship Troopers Stoker Summer Of Sam Super Troopers (2002) Surrogates Swing Kids Taxi (2004) Terminal Velocity Thank You For Smoking There’s Something About Mary The Thin Red Line (1999) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Three Fugitives The Three Stooges (2012) Titan A.E. Tombstone Toys Trapped In Paradise Tristan & Isolde Up Close & Personal V.I. Warshawski Veronica Guerin The Village (2004) Von Ryan’s Express Waiting To Exhale Waitress Waking Life The War Of The Roses The Watch (2012) The Waterboy The Way Way Back What’s Love Got To Do With It When A Man Loves A Woman White Men Can’t Jump William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet Win Win Woman On Top Working Girl (1988) The X-Files

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The X-Files: I Want To Believe

Disney+ UK, now including Star is available for £7.99 per month

The post Disney+ UK Star Launch: Complete List of New TV Shows and Films appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[womenofcolor15]

Nicki Minaj Cancels Saudi Arabia Concert After 'Reflecting' + Scores A Victory In Court But Hit With Paparaazi Lawsuit

After a hiatus, Nicki Minaj is back in the headlines with several new happenings. Find out why she pulled out of her Saudi Arabia concert, her latest legal drama, and deets on her record label inside...

Over the last few months, Nicki Miknaj had been keeping a pretty low profile. But, that all changed when she dropped her new MEGATRON video and her joint track with Trina, "BAPS."

Soon after, she announced a new album is coming down the pipeline, but she didn't offer any further deets other than she still hasn't come up with a title just yet. Wait on it Barbz.

While she's getting back into hustle mode, the 36-year-old rapper recently had to cancel an upcoming show.

The Head Barb reportedly backed out of performing at the Jeddah World Fest in Saudi Arabia.  She said it's her way of showing support for women’s rights, gay rights and freedom of expression.

“After careful reflection I have decided to no longer move forward with my scheduled concert at Jeddah World Fest," Minaj said in a statement. "While I want nothing more than to bring my show to fans in Saudi Arabia, after better educating myself on the issues, I believe it is important for me to make clear my support for the rights of women, the LGBTQ community and freedom of expression."

She was set to hit the stage on July 18th.

Following her statement, she put up an Instagram post asking all of her fans in Saudi Arabia to "voice their opinions" so she can respond directly to her fans.

          View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Barbie® (@nickiminaj) on Jul 9, 2019 at 12:28pm PDT

In SA, it's a traditionally super conservative culture where people (mainly single men and women) are segregated by gender in some public places like restaurants, public schools and universities, etc. Also, same-sex relationships are criminalized.

Last week, the Human Rights Foundation called for the "MEGATRON" rapper (and other performers) to pull out of the show. After Nicki's cancellation announcement, the non-profit praised her decision on Twitter:

  THANK YOU @NICKIMINAJ for cancelling your #SaudiArabia concert and for supporting LGBTQ & women's rights. Millions of people around the world are inspired by your devotion to human rights and human dignity. We at @HRF salute you & are grateful for your leadership #freeloujain

— HRF (@HRF) July 9, 2019

In legal news...

          View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Barbie® (@nickiminaj) on Jul 3, 2019 at 5:25pm PDT

  The QUEEN raptress just scored a victory in court without ever having to step foot in court for it. A promoter sued her for $53,000 in 2017 with claims that she breached a deal they had for NBA All-Star Weekend in 2011. The judge ended up dismissing the lawsuit since Nicki was never served. The Blast https://theblast.com/c/nicki-minaj-promoter-nba-all-star-lawsuit-dismissed ">reports:

According to court documents obtained by The Blast, a New York judge has dismissed the lawsuit brought by promoter Cahuenga, Inc. The judge said the case was being thrown out because Cahuenga didn’t serve Minaj, despite years to lock that down.

The suit explained Minaj signed a deal with them in 2011, where she agreed to make an appearance and host an event at Siren Studios in Hollywood. Cahuenga paid the singer a total of $53,000 prior to the event and Minaj was to arrive at midnight and stay until 1:00 AM. The company claims Minaj arrived 90 minutes late, at 1:30 AM, and left in less than 30 minutes.

Cahuenga said they got screwed on the deal and claimed to have lost profits. They sued Minaj for in excess of $53k.

While she scored a victory in that case, another lawsuit was filed against her recently.

Paparazzi are coming after the Pinkprint rapper for posting images of herself on her Instagram that she did not receive permission to post. Photogs at Splash News and Picture Agency pulled the trigger on a lawsuit against the NYC raptress, accusing her of "using multiple copyrighted images they took and using them without permission or authorization." Yikes.  They claim they've hit her up several times about posting their images, but she continued.

Making money from lawsuits is often a revenue model for some photogs, so they're gunning after folks posting unauthorized pictures on social media.

The Blast reports:

Splash News and Picture Agency claims that they took multiple photos of the musician including one of her wearing a multicolored Oscar De La Renta gown outside of the Harper’s Bazaar Party in New York City in November 2017, two other photos of the rapper in a plaid Burberry outfit in New York taken in August 2018, another of her outside a New York Fashion Week party in New York in September 2018 and a couple more of her in a cheetah print outfit in the same month.

Splash fired off legal notices to Minaj of her infringement through letters in December 2017 and March 2018. They even sent over a draft of the lawsuit they planned on filing against her.

They accuse Minaj of refusing to comply and continued to post their images. Splash claims to have lost out on a ton of profits by her posting their photos, which they say causes the value to go down.

The suit continues, “In addition, defendant’s unauthorized use is expressly commercial in nature. Minaj uses her Instagram feed for the purpose of promotion—specifically, to promote her business interests, products, and ventures; to promote and sell the products and services of others; to maintain and increase her visibility and desirability as an endorser, actress, model, and entertainment personality; and to promote her persona and celebrity status. In short, every one of Minaj’s Instagram posts is fundamentally promoting something to her 91 million followers.”

These photogs aren't playing out in these Internet streets.

In other news...

          View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Two Bees Entertainment (@twobeesent) on Jul 6, 2019 at 10:02am PDT

  After launching her #MegatronChallenge recently, the NYC rapper is looking to sign the winners to her new record label. For the challenge, participants have to spit their best freestyle over the reggae-infused instrumental.

The first place winner will receive $10,000, the runner up will receive $5,000, and the third place winner will get $1,000. Not only does the winner get 10 stacks, they'll also be signed to Nicki’s label. Chick is also looking for A&R's to join her label as well:

          View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Two Bees Entertainment (@twobeesent) on Jul 7, 2019 at 3:30pm PDT

  “I’M BREEDING PURE PITBULLS ON MY LABEL SO HAVE YALL FKN FUN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Labels don’t hit them up, u wasn’t thinkin bout them,” she wrote on IG Stories.

May the Barb with the best bars win.

  Photo: JStone / Shutterstock.com

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2019/07/09/nicki-minaj-cancels-saudi-arabia-concert-scores-a-victory-in-court-hit-with-paparaazi-law

[ryanjoe4-blog]

Ryan’s Rambunctious Reactions

Here is a link to the article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/25/business/media/green-book-spike-lee-reaction.html?action=click&module=News&pgtype=Homepage

This article was one of many that I read about the topic of racism and false progression in the academy awards. This is something that caught my attention a few years ago with the #oscarssowhite movement. That movement really opened my eyes to something that I never thought was a problem.

I grew up in a household that was very accepting of all people. My parents never said they hated any groups or anything even close to that. When we would watch movies all of the people were just who they were and there were no predetermined feelings about anyone of them because what they look like. I thought that everyone was like that for a long time. When I finally did learn that racism is(unfortunately) still alive and well I never believed it could be anyone other than some rich people and a less wealthy people in the South.

By the time the #Oscarssowhite thing came out, I realized more of the world is racist than I had previously thought, but I hadn’t even begun to think that entire well-established organizations could be run in a racist way. That realization is how that movement opened my eyes. 

Now on to this years Oscars debacle.

This year there were many racially based movies nominated for Oscars. Many of these won Oscars for things they actually deserved, but one of these movies lost the ‘Best Picture’ Oscar to a movie that many leaders of racial movement feel is just posing as a racially significant movie.

This movie is ‘Green Book’. Green Book is a buddy movie about a white guy who has to drive a gay, black pianist through the Jim Crow south. This sounds like a movie that would deal with racial issues in America right? Wrong, this movie just focuses on the relationship between the two main characters and gives the same old,”If we just learn to accept each other it will work out” plot. This plot has been seen as being a racial fantasy put forth by white people to try and just move past what happened in that era. 

The outrage surrounding that movie winning Best Picture comes from who it beat. This imposter of a racially charged movie beat Roma (a movie made by an entirely latino cast and crew about the class system), Black Panther (a cultural phenomenon which includes commentary on many cultural issues), and BlacKkKlansman (a movie about a black police officer who infiltrates the KKK using a Jewish surrogate, obviously containing social commentary about the topic, and was made by Spike Lee, a predominate black director). Looking at it like this, it does seem ridiculous how this movie beat all of these culturally charged movies.

Many feel this choice displays the true intentions that drive the academy in making its decision. They believe this intention is to seem progressive with its choices, while still picking the white men over all other groups. 

Green Book is also a perfect example of the commodification of black culture. The creators of this movie have used the promise of cultural commentary on the narrative surrounding race to get people to see their movie. This is on the worse side of this commodification because it doesn’t even follow through on its promise. In my opinion, no where in the movie does it go any deeper into the narrative than showing how someone can change to get along with someone else. To me that means nothing in comparison to the other movies that were nominated for Best Picture.

On a separate not:

Can you look at some of my other blog posts too while giving my grade because I put a decent amount of work into those too.

[w0wsignal]

here’s my oscar winners review that absolutely no one asked for:

i’ve specified which films won and which were my personal choice, and if there was a category that i really knew nothing about, it will not be included. also we’re saving the best for last so if you want my hottest and fully developed takes you might as well go to the end of this post

also to preface: i’ve got a lot of opinions

Best Animated Short: Bao (WINNER, MY PICK), Animal Behaviour, Late Afternoon, One Small Step, Weekends

i did not see any of the other animated shorts on this list but bao, which maybe says something, but i remember seeing this in theaters along with many other trailers/adverts while waiting to see Bohemian Rhapsody (wow…) and it was so, very emotional. perhaps it even took the spotlight of that whole movie experience? the animation was beautiful, the story was heart-wrenching, and i believe every parent and those who want to become a parent one day should take the time to watch this.

Best Animated Feature: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (WINNER, MY PICK), Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs, Mirai, Ralph Breaks the Internet

well deserved, the animation in this movie was— and i’m being very serious when i say this— groundbreaking. in the least, it has shown animators that realism is not always the goal, and being experimental can certainly pay off. the concept this movie has with all the inter-dimensional spidermans joining our protagonist miles was genius, and when i realized that there would be multiples of them due to the multiple sets of intros we were given, it was hilarious and perfectly entertaining. i don’t think anyone can go into this movie and not enjoy it. i honestly thought incredibles 2 was going to win, just simply due to my lack of faith in the academy, but thankfully that did not happen. as far as the others, they were all definitely deserving of their oscar nomination, but the oscar win had to go to spider-verse.

Best Film Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody (WINNER), BlacKkKlansman, The Favourite (MY PICK), Green Book, Vice

i mean… bohemian rhapsody? surely there’s something else… that was maybe even a little bit more deserving… than that. surely academy, surely you can do better. or can you? bohemian rhapsody had some of the worst editing in a major film that i’ve seen. i mean, did you just like how the movie made you FEEL, academy?! be honest you can say it. i loved we will rock you. but that’s not editing! i mean, this alone gave me vertigo: https://twitter.com/jesssetaylor/status/1097712834643984390. i would’ve loved to see the favourite win, as the editing in that movie represented it so well. the editing created a fully immersive experience, and the short, witty, snappy quips that were highlighted by the editing made the viewing experience all the more hilarious. the title sequences alone that were edited in gave me a purpose to watch the scenes a bit more closer than i initially would’ve; searching for the line that was given the status of the title for that section. i haven’t seen blacKkKlansman but if that had won, i wouldn’t have been mad about it, as i’ve heard great things. but ultimately, the favourite deserved this oscar.

Best Visual Effects: First Man (WINNER, MY PICK), Avengers: Infinity War, Christopher Robin, Ready Player One, Solo: A Star Wars Story

i’m just glad avengers didn’t get this

Best Sound Mixing: Bohemian Rhapsody (WINNER, MY PICK), Black Panther, First Man, Roma, A Star Is Born

now best sound mixing, i suppose i can understand. the sound in this movie WAS the movie. i felt like i was actually in concert, experiencing queen live, so i understand. it was very good. i could have seen ASIB taking this oscar as well, due to everyone raving about the music, but perhaps this was the one oscar that bohemian rhapsody actually deserved.

Best Sound Editing: Bohemian Rhapsody (WINNER), Black Panther, First Man, A Quiet Place, Roma (MY PICK)

nope, nope, nope. again, mixing i understand, but editing? all they did was edit in the songs mate… roma should have won this. the sounds in that movie made me feel like i was actually there, experiencing the water dripping down from the buildings, creating a puddle. washing the floor, witnessing a protest, being outside when i’m actually inside— watching the movie with my family. it was so realistic; i was completely taken. dissatisfied completely with this one!

Best Original Score: Black Panther (WINNER), BlacKkKlansman, If Beale Street Could Talk (MY PICK), Isle of Dogs, Mary Poppins Returns

nicholas britell i’m so, so sorry. everyone was talking about how great the score was for black panther, and while there were some good songs, i don’t think it deserved the oscar win. definitely deserved a nomination, but a win? i’m not so sure. if beale street could talk, now that was a score that was truly deserving of this. very disappointed that if beale street could talk’s only win was for regina king’s performance. it definitely at least deserved this oscar as well.

Best Production Design: Black Panther (WINNER, MY PICK), The Favourite, First Man, Mary Poppins Returns, Roma

i definitely understand this win, black panther was breathtaking in terms of the beauty of the production. congratulations hannah beachler and jay hart! i would’ve been happy to see the favourite also win this category, but black panther deserved it!

Best Foreign-Language Film: Roma (WINNER, MY PICK), Capernaum, Cold War, Never Look Away, Shoplifters

now, at first, BEFORE best picture was announced, i was confused as to why roma was even in this category. should a foreign-language film that is also nominated for best picture even be in this category? i mean, obviously it would win! and it did. i fully expected roma to win best picture (more on that later) but due to it not winning best picture, i’m very glad that it at least won best foreign-language film. but cuarón, just go ahead and give the oscar to yalitza aparicio!

Best Costume Design: Black Panther (WINNER, MY PICK), The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, The Favourite, Mary Poppins Returns, Mary Queen of Scots

again, the costume design was amazing in black panther, and this was a win that was very deserving. but would i have liked to see the favourite win? yeah, but that’s just my own selfish gay opinion— black panther winning was definitely the right choice

Best Cinematography: Roma (WINNER, MY PICK), The Favourite, Never Look Away, A Star Is Born, Cold War

roma deserved this, period! the cinematography was immersive, it was emotional, it was everything that it needed to be. do i even need to say more?

Best Original Screenplay: Green Book (WINNER), The Favourite (MY PICK), First Reformed, Roma, Vice

okay, i didn’t even see first reformed and i know that it should’ve won. i mean, first reformed should have been nominated for best picture. i also would have been completely happy with the favourite winning. roma, i should mention, i would not have wanted to win because cuarón really just stole a woman’s story and made it his own, completely disregarding the feelings of the woman it was based on

Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali (WINNER, MY PICK) (Green Book), Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman), Sam Elliott (A Star Is Born), Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?), Sam Rockwell (Vice)

i mean, best supporting actor? mahershala ali? he should be considered the lead actor of green book, but due to the movie just being terrible and racist and inaccurate, i guess he’s the supporting actor! other than that, i love mahershala ali so i’m just glad he got an oscar.

Best Supporting Actress: Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk) (WINNER, MY PICK), Amy Adams (Vice), Marina de Tavira (Roma), Emma Stone (The Favourite), Rachel Weisz (The Favourite)

well deserved! i would have loved to also see stone or weisz take this as well, but i think the fact that they were both nominated from the same movie just goes to show that this movie had amazing acting, which makes me happy. i’m glad if beale street could talk and regina king’s superb acting abilities are being recognized, as well, therefore i’m pretty happy with this.

Best Actor: Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody) (WINNER), Christian Bale (Vice), Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born), Willem Dafoe (At Eternity’s Gate) (MY PICK), Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)

willem dafoe… maybe next year, huh? i don’t understand the appeal for rami malek winning. i used to love the man, but things he has done has shown his arrogance, so i’m a bit unsure of him recently. i’m not mad that he won, and it’s a great win for the MENA community (that i am apart of), so for that reason i’m satisfied.

Best Actress: Olivia Colman (The Favourite) (WINNER, MY PICK), Glenn Close (The Wife), Yalitza Aparicio (Roma), Lady Gaga (A Star Is Born), Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)

olivia colman you earned it, fair and square. this was the big win for the favourite last night. as the night got closer to this announcment, i was losing faith and just expected gaga or aparicio to go ahead and take it. and as it got even closer, i just thought aparicio would win. but olivia colman, whew. her acting was stunning in the favourite. her character consumed the movie, as she should have, and she depicted queen anne’s tragedy perfectly. yalitza aparicio’s performance in roma was very good, but i did not feel the emotion from her character as viscerally as i did from olivia colman’s performance. i really thought the night would go on with the favourite winning absolutely nothing, so thank god that they got this, because olivia colman was the clear choice! that film was fantastic, and i’m glad it got a least a little bit of recognition, even though it definitely deserved at least one other oscar (cough) best flim editing (cough). queen anne was hilarious, she was maddening, she was infuriating, she was miserable, she was everything. also sorry glenn close… maybe next time?

Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón (Roma) (WINNER), Yorgos Lanthimos (The Favourite) (MY PICK), Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman), Adam McKay (Vice), Pawel Pawlikowski (Cold War)

okay cuarón, just give your oscar to yalitza aparicio. no? okay. well then, yorgos lanthimos you deserved it. the favourite was edited perfectly. the delivery of the lines was perfect. the panning from one character to the next, everything about it was done with eloquence. and don’t get me started on the music— every time viola d’amore concerto in a minor, rv. 397 i. vivace started playing just as weisz or stone did something to piss off the other, it was SO SATISFYING! of course i was only rooting for only one of them (especially by the end), but either way i felt what they were feeling in those moments. the music, the editing, the camerawork, the acting, the script… it all worked harmoniously in order to create the masterpiece that was the favourite. also, from a viola player, thank you for making the main theme a viola concerto, yorgos. also in a minor? that’s taste. this directing deserved an oscar win, not just a nomination.

Best Picture: Green Book (WINNER), Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman (MY PICK), Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite (MY PICK), Roma (MY PICK), A Star Is Born, Vice

okay here we go… here we go. green book? GREEN BOOK? no. nope. literally any film besides this one please. okay let’s get started… green book is inaccurate, it’s a white savior story, it was a movie that was supposed to be about don shirley, the world class pianist, but instead is about this random fucking cab driver? and don shirley’s family have said that it was inaccurate and that it poorly represented actual events of shirley’s life. as a piano player… i am disgusted. also if you were going to give the oscar to a flim depicting racism… why not give it to blacKkKlansman? you know, the movie talking about racism that was actually created by black people and not just a team of white men? fuck you, green book! i fully expected roma to win, and oh, how wrong was i. roma deserved best picture. green book is a joke. i obviously would have liked to see the favourite win, because a gay movie about GIRLS! would have been nice to actually get some recognition. roma, the favourite, blacKkKlansman. these were the choices that should have gotten best picture. the others, eh. also why was black panther even in the nominations? like, seriously… that should have been replaced with if beale street could talk. and also, since they had ten slots anyway, first reformed should have gotten a nomination as well. this was by far the most disappointing win of the night AND confusing, for me personally (more confusing than bohemian rhapsody winning best film editing, which says something). just a terrible choice. this movie should not have even been nominated, but the academy is dumb. seriously though, NOT roma?

okay that’s it folks, those are my opinions. all in all, not a great oscars. some really good wins, though, like olivia colman’s win and spider-verse. also roma for best foreign. basically everything that was bolded and italics on this post were pretty good wins. but despite that, there were some VERY bad ones.