#i be staring at my tiddies too tho like damn bitch

[lil-cattz]

my eyes are up there babes

[vancilocs]

Ive got a headache so im not gonna read every single option presented so top half for fuckerswoods wolf vampire hunter polycule aaand neja and yecal (or dana and hecca if neja and tecal have been answered for this already)

have a paracetamol and a lay down xx

1. Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

If anyone gets into trouble it's Kältre, but the others keep him so well in check that if he's even thinking of sneaking into the forest during new moon Soren will either go along or pull him back by the hood

2. Who's the one to send the other "I love my gf/bf" memes

Nanoha would send pictures of piles of cats cuddling and just go that's us!

3. Who's the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn't like and how does the other react

They all play well together, nobody hates the music the other listens to

4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competetive to show the other more love

Everyone is very spoiled with four pairs of hands on them, nobody gets left out so it doesn't become a competition

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

Given how open their relationship was in the beginning nobody really considered marriage, and now it would just be such a hassle with five people

6. Is their friends/family supportive

It's... a little weird to them but hey, everyone's happy and the relationship works so why not. If anything, Soren's family is weirded out by him shacking up with a vampire and Striga's parents being likewise mistrustful of a werewolf

7. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

In wildly different ways, ranging from Kältre arming himself to kill a bitch and Nanoha starting to make soup. Virve and Striga are the types to hug or hold hands if allowed and ask what's wrong, Soren is the type to just hug. One of the five starts crying and there's a swarm of comfort around immediately

8. Which one dissociates

Striga and Soren tend to during new moon/full moon respectively, best to just leave them to lay in bed for the day bc their energy is at 0

9. Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them

Nanoha and Striga are a bit flustered, Virve and Kältre like it, Soren is indifferent. All do look at butts tho

10. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

It's an old hunting hut that was converted to a living space by Virve's family when she moved in with Kältre, it's kinda small for five people but it's cozy, it's warm, it's pretty cluttered and one of the corners has been turned into a mattress/pillow/blanket/fur pile that fits all five

11. What do their dates look like

Walks in the forest, grabbing some food and walking to a meadow or stream to eat, going for a swim, going to the nearby village for a drink, staying home when the three others are gone and enjoying peace and quiet for a while

12. How does each act when getting drunk

Kältre gets loud and clumsy, Soren gets sleepy and cuddly, Virve also kinda loud but less so than Kältre, Nanoha gets giggly and sloppy and has to be looked after, Striga barely drinks because it hits her so hard, she gets emotional and very clumsy

13. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give them a kiss

Striga and Nanoha give kisses but don't wake the others up, Virve will wake them up if it's almost noon and it's time to get your butt out of bed

14. Have they saved each other's lives before

Striga is fairly sure she would have made it out of the blizzard during new moon if by just huddling under a rock, but Soren finding her and bringing her to a warm spot didn't do any harm for sure

15. Does one have an interest the other thinks is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Not really, whatever little crafts they do is something the others are always interested in and willing to hear about

16. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

Virve and Kältre, and Nanoha uses one by mistake and Kältre informs her that it's from a hentai and she goes and how did you know that you wee cunting man

17. Does one of them kinkshame the other

Nanoha thinks Virve and Kältre have too much interest in Soren's werewolf and Striga's full vampire forms

18. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

Not really, Striga is a lil ashamed about her cold hands and feet sometimes but it's fine to the others, put on some woolly socks and put your hand on Virve's tiddy, it's soft and warm

19. What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones?

Soren agrees one time to let Kältre sit on his back and come along to a proper werewolf hike, very very wild ride

20. Where would they vacation for a honeymoon

No time for vacations, the grind never stops --------------

21. Do people ever get annoyed of their PDA

Honestly sometimes yeah, hands off his tiddies for once woman

22. Would they live in the city of the country

They live in the city, Neja grew up in a city too so it's comfortable for her

23. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Not really? I can believe Yecal having some kind of PTSD from some events but nothing very severe. Neja will cuddle and pet feathers if needed

24. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

General tender spots for Neja are the sides, inner thighs, neck, nothing unusual

25. Do they dance together

Neither really knows how to dance but it doesn't stop them

26. Do they sing together

Ditto, it's not super pretty but they have fun

27. Which one is better at cooking than the other and makes most the dinners

They are both alright at cooking, Neja makes some mean spicy noodles and Yecal some proper sauce, if one is running late from work then the other can have food ready just fine

28. Are they a reckless couple or safe

They began as very reckless but have toned it down a lot for each other

29. What be they kinks and do they try each other's kinks

Yecal gets pegged

30. What would their Valentine's gifts be to each other

Neja with a ribbon on her boobs (maybe some wine if she wants to splurge, some candy), she enjoys flowers and candy and wine herself

31. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up

Not often, if anything it's small arguments about money of if Yecal tried to fix something he doesn't know how to and made a mess when Neja was gone. They make up with kisses and hugs every time though, nobody stays mad for long

32. Which one's top, bottom, verse

They switch flawlessly, sometimes a small girl wants to be small girl and sometimes she wants to ram her husband into the mattress yanno

33. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Yecal will defend Neja in anything, she needs to be held back also because she do be smol

34. Which one has a favorite movie that they have the other watch with them again and again

If either then Neja

35. Do they want kids

Nah, neither dislikes them but they don't want any of their own. They struggle keeping a houseplant alive so no way they would have a kid

[hybristoo]

Vainglorious Vigilantes

Request: “ok ok… so I was sitting there hot sauce on my tiddies and I thought of a request. So I’ve never really seen this done before and hopefully I explain this in a way you can understand because I have dumb bitch syndrome. anyways, maybe the reader could mayhaps be batman and joker ( whichever of ur choosing ) could just subtly flirt with them. And reader is just done with his shit but also flirts back. This is a mess I’m sorry LMAO! ty tho!”

Synopsis: Reader is a vigilante, and tonight, they have to protect a criminal from the [Heath Ledger] Joker. 

Words: 1’849

Protecting-Gotham-and-its-people-it’s-STUPID WHORE

Such were the words plastered on the publicity poster. However, it being defaced, both your caricature (drawn brawnier and mightier than you actually were) and pseudonym (certainly not “Stupid Whore”) were scribbled over with red sharpie. Your eyes were crudely crossed out and there was a bullet wound etched on your forehead. The dysphemism for you was written in scraggly letters. 

Perhaps you would have found this vandalization disturbing if you’d had any hand in making this poster. However, as the logo in the bottom right suggested, it was commissioned and distributed by the RGC - the Royal Gotham Coalition, where Royal is written in obnoxious cursive. A group of rich Gothamites who liked to pat themselves on their back and would rather spend money on propaganda such as this than actual improvements. 

Disturbing or not, it did tell you something about the man you were begrudgingly protecting: he was not a big fan. 

“I see you’ve found my art. Do you like it? Should I start a gallery perhaps? I have one for all you types. I’ll call it The Vainglorious Vigilantes.” 

It must be common knowledge at this point that anybody working for the Boyles must be in some way vile. That they must have some deep-rooted moral sickness. However, to say that you didn’t have a particularly negative bias towards Elijah the Nose, consigliere of the Boyle family, would be a lie. Perhaps it was his high ranking position, his ability to escape justice, or that terribly grating voice of his. Regardless, it was an understatement to say it took every nerve in your body to resist punching him right then and there. 

You glared at him, lips pulling into a tight frown.“Have you no sense of self-preservation? Gratitude?” That you had decided to defend him was beyond your own comprehension; a disjoint decision made by the angel on your shoulder.

“I didn’t ask for your help. I don’t need your help,” Elijah asserted, spitting on the ground and leaning further into the leather couch. It would have been convincing if not for his bouncing leg. 

“You did ask for trouble, though,” you walked over to him, hovering above him. “Crazy fucking clown? That’s really what you decided to call the Joker? For everyone to know?” You crossed your arms. Admittedly, hearing about it had been funny. But if the guy was going to die for insulting someone, make it creative. 

“You’d do the same in my position.” He furrowed his eyebrows, a flame igniting in his eyes. “He stole our fuckin’ plans. Executing them one night before us. He’s toyin’ with us. That money was ours.” 

“No, it was the property of Gotham Jewelers. You were going to steal it.” 

Elijah released a frustrated roar, pushing himself onto his feet. First, he paced towards you, making your hands twitch towards your weapon, then he paced to the other side of the room. He continuously peaked out of his curtains, biting his nails. It was plain to anyone watching he was more nervous than he would admit despite the dozens of soldati he had stationed below.

Considering the fact that he hadn’t even locked the windows when you snuck through them, you could understand why. Was he, in what could be his last moments, introspective enough to understand his own limited intelligence was not nearly enough to protect him? (You doubted it).

Not inclined to set him at ease, you plopped yourself into the couch, only subtly looking around. You’d already rigged the room and told Elijah to dismiss every soldati in the room. You knew Joker - or at least you liked to think you did. He wasn’t crazy, he was astute. To assume him a raving madman was a one-way ticket to a broken collarbone (you spoke from experience). Although you felt the room was quite Joker proof, relax was the last thing you’d do.

You wanted to catch him and lock him up for good. Gotham deserved that much. 

And maybe that was why you decided to protect Elijah. Not in a sudden action of complete martyrdom, but to use him as bait. Or maybe, somehow, you’d grown attached to him and his complete inability to commit crimes which made your self-imposed job easier. 

One thing that could be said about Elijah was that he liked to live lavishly. His bedroom, in which you now resided, was an eclectic mix of authentic victorian and contemporary styles. It was a constant reiteration of Is-That-A-Rembrandts and That’s-Worth-More-Than-Mes. It made you frown to think it was made off the backs of Gotham’s people. 

No, it definitely wasn’t attachment to Elijah which made you stick around.

You were staring at what had to be a recreation of Klimt’s The Kiss. You weren’t exactly an art appraiser but it struck you how authentic it looked, how authentic it smelled when you got too close. 

“Ohh, Klimt. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

You whipped your head around, your weapon entering your grasp before you could truly process what was happening. It was disorienting, the way your courage dropped into your stomach when you saw Elijah in the Joker’s grasp. A stalemate was immediately introduced as a knife was pressed to Elijah’s jugular. He cried out, a serenade of hopelessness. 

You were less focused on Elijah’s safety and more focused on the Joker, however. But did the Joker know that? Or could you use that? Damn those indiscernible, dark eyes. 

“I didn’t know you were a man of the bible,” you hummed as you tried to glide closer, shuffling your feet. 

The Joker made a whistling sound. “I’m full of surprises, snookums.”

You resisted cringing, hiding it with a smirk. “Oh, I’m sure, snugglekins,” you breathed, your eyes flickering. Taking the chance, you kicked the coffee table separating the two of you into his shins. He was immediately thrown off balance, just enough for you to dive and grab Elijah, ragdolling him out of the Joker’s grasp. “But so am I.”

The Joker attempted to grab you, his hand leaping for your arm, but you narrowly took a step back last second, almost tripping on the couch. 

“Oh, honey-darling, you’re going to break my heart,” he cooed. 

You were both still for a moment, before he lunged at you, grabbing your shoulders and throwing you aside, attempting to break your balance. You knocked your head against his, hearing something crack - you weren’t sure if it was you or him. You were aptly disoriented when you slashed a dagger his way, only to realize he was out of reach. A punch found itself in your abdomen before you could register it was coming. 

You hunched over, gripping your stomach and letting out a hoarse cough. By the time you had oriented yourself onto your feet, the Joker had Elijah in his grasp again. 

“Is your ego so fragile you walk right into this set-up just to get this man?” You hissed. You slowly backed yourself towards the bookshelf parallel to the Joker, slipping your hand between the books. “You take me as a fool if you think I’m going to let you kill him and walk away.” You pressed the button, sending the entire house into a frenzy. The alarm set-up was hastily made, but it seemed it worked.

He made a whistling sound, his eyes glistening as he listened to the sounds of dozens of soldati moving around in the rooms surrounding them. You couldn’t hold back a smile, as if to say, your move.

“Who’s to say I’m here to kill him? Maybe I just wanted to see you,” he purred, the knife closing in on Elijah’s throat. You took a daring step forward, testing his limits. “A-ta-ta, one more step and the curtains won’t be the only red thing around here.” Did you even care? Maybe not, but if Elijah was alive what would stop him from attempting to leave? You needed to corner him and fast. 

“I, ah, yes, as I was saying,” he cleared his throat, using his free hand to comb his hair out of his face. “I wanted ta see you. Not that stupid mask of yours, hm? Let me see what’s behind all of,” he made a circular motion with his knife, pointing at your face, “that.”

“Oh yeah? Are you going to reveal what’s under all the paint, then?”

He chuckled “Unlikely.” 

You trudged towards him as he trudged backwards, despite his warnings. “Is that a no?” he hummed, watching you closely. You, on the other hand, were watching where he was going. You were hoping he was going to set off one of your traps. You didn’t say anything, trying to push him just a little further.

“That’s a shame.” You were pulled out of your focus as blood spurted onto the floor. Elijah’s blood. You were shocked - somehow you didn’t think he’d do it - not yet anyways, and there was esotericism to seeing Elijah’s limp body crumble onto the ground. He was dead. The Joker, on the other hand, was way less concerned with that. 

“Well, the party’s over,” he sighed, “You’re no fun at all, Kitten.” He continued backing away, now at a much quicker pace. He was heading for the windows. 

“You thought it would be that easy?”

“No.”

You growled, sprinting towards him. He tried to push the windows open, having opened the lock at the bottom. The brief look of confusion was too satisfying. You grabbed his collar and shoved him up against the wall. “Your reign over this city is over, Joker.” On cue, sirens appeared in the distance. “The soldati wasn’t the only thing alarmed.” 

The look on his face was indescribable. You were expecting disappointment, anger, fear even, but instead, he had this crazy look in his eyes and a grin only widened by his scars. A laugh bubbled from his throat.  “You ever played poker, Doll?” 

You furrowed your eyebrows. You had no idea how to answer. This was no doubt a part of his anticks but, you couldn’t help but listen.

“Well, in the business, we say: As long as you’ve got ‘a chip and a chair’, there’s still hope.” He let out another howling laugh. You shoved him onto the ground, moving to put him into binds when you felt a sharp pain at the back of your head. You toppled over, falling onto the ground with a thud. Your vision was a pool of colours and vague shapes. You felt how the Joker hovered over you, a blur of red, white and green filling your vision.

“You do well to remember that next time.” You tried to push yourself away, trying to orient yourself in the expanding room. The other person, Joker’s helper, who were they? Where were they? You looked around, the world remains a blur. 

The Joker grabbed your face, forcing you to turn his way, and as your vision sunk into darkness, you heard a collection of last words. “Let’s see who’s under the mask.” 

[k-nayee]

Okay..let me just say HOLY FUCK. ASDFGHHJKL. CAUSE BABY

Ahem...anyways. My heart was just racing at the fact of how there are TWO FUCKING JUNGKOOKS. And not only that, but one is a sweet timid sweetheart while the other is cocky and bold. I also give props to the small interactions you gave throughout the fic, like having that small moment of Jeongguk being envious when y/n's attention was focused on JK. As a twin myself, its surprisingly not put in the twin aus that's written when that's one of the most truest thing ever lol.

Okay now into my ranting head ass breakdown for this artwork...

The start of how you introduced y/n to the unknown twin was very light and interesting. The reaction of that was soooo much better that what the other fics would do [ex: "What the hell Jeongguk?!" You stand in front of the smirking male as he stares at you jn amusement. "When did you get all the tattoos? How did your hair grow out so quickly? Where did all this dark shit come from?" Yadda yadda yadda he kisses her thus making little y/n get flustered from thinking her crush did it to her.] because lets be real: if you saw someone you lowkey had a crush on suddenly appear in a whole ass we attire none of that would happen. Oh, and the way Jeongguk looked almost done with his brother when he appeared like "this bitch right here" and then shamelessly insults him. *chef's kiss* Couldn't have done better with my own sis.

The part that had me really bouncing was when they finally went upstairs and got 👀👀. The kisses...OH THE KISSES. Jeongguk being overall shy and gentle as if y/n was glass while JK is like "fuck that, I'm gonna wreck it" headass. Gotta love it tho😜. And THEN when they were going down on y/n?! Finding out that my little bean Jeongguk is an ass man rather than JK genuinely knocked me off my feet. Like I really thought sweetie was gonna be a tiddy guy.

And don't get me started when man's got between them cheeks. I was just sitting there reading with wide eyes like "👁⚫👁 He really eating the booty like groceries?! Oooo this boy nasty nasty as fuck!" I damn near convulsed when it said he was in that bootyhole. Like I wasn't prepared for that fam! [Should've known, the shy and quiet ones are always the freakiest.🤷🏾] And while all this happening, we got JK sucking on the nipple like a sucker. Homegirl was living the best life right there!

Next: when I say a bitch salvitated at the part where them shirts dropped like my panties if Namjoon smiled and winked at me. The stark difference between Jeongguk's bare skin and Jk's inked one while both being toned and muscled in all the right places. Of how Jk confidently took off his clothes knowing how quick he can make a hoe wet while Jeongguk [bless his heart] was uncertain and shy as if they didnt share the same body type.🤤🤤 When I tell you awwed and gapped so damn hard at that! Like how? HOW?! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WAS DOING AUTHOR-NIM AND YOU AINT SHIT FOR IT. Got me drooling at the thought of both types like a horndog. But I thank you for that.

I did freeze when I read how they both had matching piercings. For Jk, I knew he would've been the type (since the son of a bitch was shamelessly FUCKING FREEBALLING)...but JEONGGUK?! I was sh👀keth. And then he really tries to give a reason and defend himself?! Like no baby, I still would've wanted to hopped on the Jeoncock with or without the piercing. And then y/n gave our sweet baby the loving he deserved. I swear if you could hear, you would've heard my ass chanting "take that dick. Down your throat. Take that dick. Till he moan." HE DESERVES IT OKAY?! DESERVE A WHOLE TWO HOURS OF IT IN FACT. I cried at how him and Jk were lowkey basically holding hands on too of y/n's head as she gave gumdrop the sloppy toppy 3000 lol. Ah such a sweet twin moment am I right?

Now I'll say this as many times to get this fact across. The very the point of where y/n finally got the dick(s)...OH LORDIE. TWO AT ONCE WITH A PIERCING?! YES PLEASE. That's a whole gift if you're able to experience something like that🤧. No longer driven by shyness out Jeongguk was ramming it! Oh I just love it when the shy one become a whole new person in bed. They both demanding that y/n speak when they ask a question, not daring taking pitiful moans and sighs as an answer. Jk being the dominant that he is.

All this beautiful work wonderfully ended with the kitty cat getting the cream from both brothers😛. Jk dutifully cleaning up sis as she lay fucked out (pun-intended HA) on top of Jeongguk who happily cuddles her. And then leaves out without a pant -THE STAMINA ON THIS MAN- to go back to the party. But not before openly admiting that he'd get with y/n if Jeongguk ruins any chance....like AHHHHH. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MY MAN. YOU CAN'T BE DOING SHIT LIKE THAT! I'M ONLY SUPPOSE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE OF YALL FUCKERS, NOT TWO.

So yeah. You now got me simping over two boys that don't even...don't even...excuse me. *sobs* GODDAMMIT I'M SO DAMN LONELY.

In Between

☼ Pairing: Jungkook x reader (x Jungkook ?)

☼ Genre: college au, twin au, smut, mostly pwp but there’s like, some plot at the end

☼ Count: 7.1K

☼ Warnings: unprotected sex (stay safe!), creampie, spit-roasting, double penetration, oral (m & f recieving), ass eating, hair pulling, some spanking (+ 1 (one) thigh slap), dom/sub undertones, threesome, tattooed JK (cause that’s a whole warning itself), thigh riding, marking, piercings 🤪, slight nipple play, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, fingering, praise kink, dirty talk, manhandling, both shy jungkook and bad boy jungkook bc i’m clearly a glutton for punishment 🤪🤪, the boys don’t fuck each other, they’re solely there for reader

☼ Summary: When you agreed to go to Jeongguk’s frat party, you certainly hadn’t expected it to end with you end his bed. And definitely not the involvement of his twin.

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