#i assume you were referring to these ocs

[spookberry]

Question for your OCs to answer so you can draw them answeing: what's your favorite song and why?

This was super cute and fun to draw, thanks for the question ☺️💕

[sigchimera]

Irodoru, a stickman/stickfigure OC

[chuluoyi]

UNHOLY MATRIMONY — 12

✩°｡ ⋆ the most twisted curse

- fushiguro megumi x oc/reader - oc/reader's character name is hara sena, pronouns still refer to “you” and i won’t mention it often—just for the sake of aesthetic rather than repeatedly writing "y/n"

in another life, in which fate is still screwing his life over, Fushiguro Megumi finds himself in an arranged marriage―with you.

genre/warnings: arranged marriage au, drama, heavy angst, description of major injury and blood, hurt/comfort (or no comfort?), there is one fluff scene! :))

notes: next chapter will be the last <3

series masterlist | next. seize your happiness

Megumi stopped in his tracks in horror.

Blood. There was so much blood. It was everywhere, painting everything in angry scarlet―

And you. In the middle of it.

"Sena..." The pounding of his heart was deafening, drowning anything else. It started from his hands, and slowly but unmistakably, his entire body began to tremble with terror— "Sena!"

He was late. When he arrived to the Zen’in mansion, everything was in shambles. The disciplinary chamber reeked of blood and destruction, Naoya’s pallid corpse and—

He quickly made his way to where you were, and felt his throat closing in.

Your face was battered and bruised, your lips were torn and blood streamed down your torso as if it were a cascading waterfall. Your right leg was twisted into an unnatural angle, and everything else was simply—

You looked absolutely broken.

"Damn it, fuck—"

With panic seeping in, Megumi couldn't think straight. He brought you to his arms, and with the movement, he could feel the stickiness of your blood staining him, the stench filling his lungs, and he almost wheezed as a result.

“You… why…” the hands that were holding you trembled, both with fear and genuine fury.

Fear, because he was losing you with each second he wasn’t able to get you to the help faster. Fury, because he had left you so unprotected that you ended up in this state.

It was more towards himself. All things prior this day be damned. Megumi hated himself with each second. He would be able to stand against Naoya, and in case he couldn’t then he still had his final card through Mahoraga, but you?

You couldn’t go against him and he didn’t mean it in belittling way. Naoya was known for his speed and offensive prowess, and you weren’t built for that. He would totally wreck you first before you could unleash your fatal technique—which he assumed what happened since you were able to take him out in the end.

But that didn’t matter anymore. Not when you were dying like this, before Megumi was able to say anything to you.

Last time he saw you, you were crying for him not to go. He tried many times to banish that image away from his mind because it was so vivid. He remembered how sobs wracked your body as he left you with the most hurtful parting words:

“It’s done. We’re done. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

It was almost like a curse. He really never saw you again before now. And now, he wasn’t even sure if you were still alive at all.

No, that was indeed a curse.

The voice in his mind whispered many things he tried to mute the past few weeks. He had cursed you—and perhaps, himself too—and now he was left with the consequences.

“No, no...” he said in a broken whisper as he had a look over your state. "I'm begging you—"

In his arms was the only girl he had loved. He never wanted any harm to come to you, despite everything that had gone down. That decision to pull out the divorce papers too—a part of him had hoped that with cutting all ties with you, it would free you from all of this mess too.

“Hang in there—!”

But you weren’t responsive at all. He couldn’t even feel you breathing. He felt like picking up a doll, a destroyed one, with the way your head lolled lifelessly in his arms.

Megumi didn’t really know what was worse—the guilt or the pain in his chest. But he kept trekking forward even as the his eyes burned with tears, with your bloodied form in his hold.

Because for all he knew, no matter what happened onwards, his world had ended right where you were.

When he handed you over to the emergency room, he was struck once more by just how vividly red everything was.

His hands, arm, and shirt were drenched in your blood. Megumi stood numbly before the sliding doors, ears still ringing from Ieiri Shoko’s harsh barks to her assistants, the sight of you being taken away again beyond the door left a burning sensation in his throat.

You had shed so much blood, would you still pull through?

He didn’t know how much time had passed since he brought you here. It felt like a long of time, and he knew it to be true when Gojo arrived at Shoko's clinic with the sun already dipping low on the horizon. He didn’t know why though, perhaps his longtime friend was the one contacting him.

“Megumi, are you okay?” he immediately asked upon seeing him on sight, slumped with his head low. He grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face him directly.

Megumi looked up to his former mentor slowly, almost as if he was paralyzed. Eyes empty, with your blood still covering him—he hadn't made any attempt to wash it off.

“Megumi, come on. You have to clean yourself—”

“Gojo-sensei…” he suddenly croaked, throat dry. “I have to be here…”

“Go wash yourself first—”

Those words were the tipping point. His pent-up fury suddenly exploded at that moment—

“Get off me!”

Megumi pushed him away with such strength that Gojo nearly fell onto his backside, only managing to stay upright because of his good reflexes.

"Why does it matter to you?" Megumi spat out, anger seething between his clenched teeth. "How can I possibly think about cleaning up when—when, she’s i-inside… and I can't even tell if she's still alive or not?!”

“Megumi—”

“Why… why do you have to agree to that binding vow?” right now Megumi just wanted to blame anything—anyone, everyone, this accursed world, and even himself. The burning in his chest was scalding, making his voice tight with emotion. “Why do you agree to something that could make her put her life in danger?!”

“...”

"Why! Just why!" The tears he'd been holding back finally broke free, cascading down his cheeks as he let out a howl that echoed through the deserted hospital corridor.

Gojo could only stare at him in silence, pondering the irony of the situation. You, who wanted to end everything out of your love for him, and Megumi, who wanted to cut you out of this mess and never wanted you to be involved in the first place. Both of you meant the best for each other—protecting each other through your own ways.

Gojo wouldn't be able to go against any of Megumi's wishes from now on. Because once again, he knew what it was.

How love is the most twisted curse of all.

You... are always so pretty.

In your sorcerer's uniform. In the morning when you just woke up. The night you cried.

In each and every image Megumi had of you, you were always beautiful. But there was one poignant sight that stood out, where you were most breathtaking... and that was during your wedding day.

You were the very picture of a dream bride. Wrapped in that white silk kimono, brushed by the traditional make up and hairdo—he could've sworn he had never seen anyone so stunning before you in his entire life. And the fact that you had appeared out of nowhere in his life one day, only to become his bride, filled him with even greater wonder.

You were beautiful then... but there was something about you he didn't quite like still.

You appeared ashen, almost as though you were ill. You looked like someone would hound you if you weren't there. And above all, you looked unhappy.

—which was hauntingly similar to your appearance now. Beneath the pristine, unblemished hospital blanket, you looked exceedingly pale and lifeless, with the beeping of the machine serving as the only assurance he had that you were still here.

You appeared as though you were merely sleeping, but when he reached out to grasp your hand in his, it felt chillingly cold. It didn't feel like you—an eerie sensation as foreign as the stab of pain he felt in his chest.

"Hey..." his voice came out in a faint whisper as his eyes quietly looked you over. "Are you... still there?"

Beep… Beep… Beep…

"You're not in pain anymore... right?" he asked into the empty, thin air.

It was cruel to him that you looked absolutely at peace, with how your eyes tightly shut and your eyelashes not even once fluttered. If this was your way of punishing him for leaving you, then it was incredibly, irrevocably cruel.

But you wouldn't. Megumi knew you wouldn't. Because you trusted him, until the very end. Even when he left.

He gritted his teeth, feeling his heart break once again. "If you're there... then please... just wake up."

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you—I'm sorry... for..."

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"—for letting you get hurt..."

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"You... shouldn't. But why—you—" The lump in his throat choked off his words. "...damn—"

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"I love you."

He pushed through to utter those words, a tear trailing down his cheek, because in that moment, he truly didn't know what else there was to say.

"I love you... so please... just wake up already. I want to say sorry—and that this time for sure... I won't leave you ever again. I will protect you... I w-will... protect you with everything I've got, so just—!"

It hurts so much. Seeing you like this, not responding to anything he said. You were just there, suspended between life and death, and he couldn't do anything about it.

And so, in that hollow, silent hospital room, he released all his cries, hopelessness, and regrets— with no one there to witness his anguish.

Upon learning what had happened, Hana's immediate instinct was to reach Megumi's side.

She dashed through the bustling hospital corridors, disregarding anything and everything in her way—even when she bumped into people, she only muttered a brisk apology and went on her way.

She didn't really know what she was looking for. Her naivety merely spurred her to search for him. It didn't really register to her that you were hurt to the point of possibly dying. For one, she just couldn't really believe it was from the warning you left her, and another part of her was overwhelmed with fear at the thought of Megumi venturing into that barred area.

"Aww, don't trip, miss."

Hana halted on the spot, quickly turning her head towards the source—and came the second most shocking event that happened to her today.

Everyone knows this person. The pinnacle of jujutsu society. Someone so elusive and jarring that it was a wonder that he took in a disgraced Zen'in in the first place.

Gojo Satoru's lips curled into a crude smile. "No one inside is going anywhere you know. Might be better if you slow down and catch your breath."

"Where's Megumi?" she asked almost immediately, and yet to her surprise, he only chuckled.

"He's absolutely fine, you know. Anyone hearing will mistake him for being the one in a near-death situation."

So it's true. You didn't seem to be faring well at all. "Did you see him just now?"

"Ha." Gojo let out a snort. "Miss, are you really sure you want to see him right now?"

Okay, even Hana couldn't pretend to be amiable anymore. Gojo really and truly lived up to his outrageous reputation of being a public annoyance. "What are you trying to say? I'm just worried for him. Where is he?"

"He's inside, here." he gestured towards the door next to him with a tilt of his chin. "But honestly, I'd recommend you not go in."

"And why should I listen to you?"

"Because I know things best? Heh."

Hana wasn't having this any longer. He went past Gojo and turned the knob open, stalking inside—

And then, suddenly, she felt numb.

Megumi was asleep in an uncomfortable position at the edge of your bed—his face marked by dried tears, and his grip tight around your hand. Once again, Kurusu Hana felt her heart sink, reminiscent of the first day she encountered him in that small café, seeing him dragging you by your hand.

Deep down, she knew it. That it's stupid to hope for more—to hope for your marriage to utterly fail to make space for her in his life.

...because no matter how, even when everything crumbled into dust, she never really stood a chance, did she?

"Megumi! Show me your rabbits!"

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. On one night after he just went back from work, all he wanted was to have a rest, not using more cursed energy. "For what?"

You pouted. "They're cute, I want to play with them!"

"...no. I'm tired."

"You..." you widened your eyes in surprise. "It's me! Your very dutiful wife, how can you not fulfill her wish?!"

"Dutiful? Nah. I can think of 10 instances in which you are anything but obedient."

There was something about you pleading with him that made his heart soft. He was a goner the very moment you pursed your lips. But messing with you always brought a smile to his face, and for the sake of teasing, he declined you. At least, until you turned away from him with an indignant "Hmph!"

Megumi let out a small chuckle. "Look here."

"Don't want to!"

"Oh? You won't see them then."

You quickly snapped your head back towards him, and right before you—voila!—there appeared a swarm of his rabbits.

"Whoa!" your eyes shone with excitement, like a kid. "Whoa, whoa! Come here! Cute rabbits, come to meee~"

And in that moment, as his chest swelled with warmth, he thought that if all it took to see your smile was to conjure rabbits, then he was willing to do just that for the rest of his life.

. . .

Megumi woke up with a jerk.

The first sensation he registered was the coldness of his feet. Following that realization, it hit him—there were no rabbits, none of your smile, he was in your room, and the coolness from your hand still clung to his skin.

He glanced over at you, and his heart bled once more.

You still looked as serene as before.

You had a nostalgic dream.

Everything you saw in those fragmented scenes were your real memories. Your childhood. Grimmer days you'd much prefer to keep away.

You were never the favored child, and your mother—a mistress—was in a less favorable situation.

It was always the same routine that you didn't really feel hurt anymore. Your stepsisters were born entitled—they never really treated you that kindly, and with your father being the passive being he was, you never really tried to voice your grievance.

"Mama, when will we move out of here?" you inquired one day, your head resting in her lap while she gently stroked your hair. You were barely fourteen back then, still struggling with newfound knowledge of curses and how they exist in your already muddled world.

Your only friend, your only supporter who made everything bearable—who taught you love... was your mother, who loved you with everything she had.

"Hmm? Do you not like it here?" she asked you with a small smile, as if to encourage you to elaborate more.

"I hate it here," you stressed, biting your lower lip. "Everything is cursed."

"Hush, Sena! You have to be careful with your words."

You looked away, not really guilty though. You might not be able to bash your shitty father, but you could definitely curse some things.

"Are you happy living like this, Mama?" you found yourself asking, feeling a wave of sadness wash over you. It seemed so unjust that you and your mother were treated as lesser individuals on a daily basis. Why did you have to endure this fate?

"Me?" she seemed to ponder a bit before nodding. "Of course. You're here, of course I'm happy."

"Even when they are awful to us?"

"Mm-hmm. Don't pay them any mind. Being here is better then out there."

"I don't think so. I think out there is most likely far better than this."

Your mother didn't answer, but she kept her thin smile, still combing her hands through your hair fondly.

At that stage in your life, you believed your mother had simply resigned herself to her circumstances. She needed the Hara clan to survive, and you too as much as you wanted to deny it���a fact that irritated you to some degree.

It would take many years and much reflection for you to understand that the bigger part that played in her decision to stay, enduring all the unpleasantness that came with being a mistress, was for your sake—to give you the best.

"One day," your voice was a little louder than a whisper, but carried a certain resolve that your mother couldn't help but notice. "I'll take both of us away from this hellhole, and only then will we truly be happy."

You really thought she'd finally drop the facade and go along with your idea, so her rebuke left you speechless. "No," she said firmly.

"Why?!"

"That must not be your only goal in life, Sena," her smile faded. "You... need to have other plans, not just to escape from here and then be left with nothing afterwards."

"But—!"

"Maybe you're too young to understand this, but please always keep this in mind, from now onwards," your mother sighed softly. "You... must not live your life for me. You need to be your own person. And most importantly, you can't turn out like me."

"Mama, you're—" you shot up into a sitting position. "Why—"

"You have to lead a better life than me." Her smile returned as she spoke her next words. "Freer. Happier. With more love. When the time comes when you can freely choose how you want to live your life, I want you to use that chance to the fullest."

You didn't really understand. Not really, back then.

But now...

“I want you to chase after what makes you happy the most. Seize your happiness.” She was impossibly gentle that it brought tears to your eyes. “In whatever form it might be, regardless of how I am in that moment, please choose only for yourself.”

Seize your happiness… now that you thought about it. It finally made sense.

When your father was about to sell you off to Naoya, your mother tried so many ways to ward you off. She wanted to remove the obstacle for you—namely herself, with fervent hope you would be free even when she had to be stuck in that hell you called home.

And so, now… is this finally the chance for you to chase after your happiness? But how? What does ‘happiness’ mean to you now that you were left with nothing and that even Megumi hates you?

Still those three words resonated deep within you. If they said that curses are born of human’s strong emotions, then most likely your mother too could manifest a curse. She wanted you to live.

. . .

Against all odds out there, finally—

You blinked your eyes open slowly.

And the first thing that entered your eyesight is —

next : seize your happiness

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some of you can't be tagged bc of the settings! :(

[yandere-yearnings]

Weird thought rant ‼️

I always see in smuts that the MC gets a belly bulge and all that but okay, hear me out, how about MALE belly bulge? I have no idea if that’s possible due to male anatomy but I just thought that would be something

Join the cause and support Male belly bulge 😸

dw nonnie, i'm alr w/ you😌✨ (+ for reference it is possible!!)

anyway, this, for vio bc i feel like it'd be more prominent on him than my other ocs. also as a little smth for all the vio fuckers who continue to dominate the inbox🥰

NSFW under the cut!

“Shit.” Gasping breaths. Intakes hitched harder and harder. “Fuck, please. Please, I’m sorr-”

Vio's words never quite made it out of his mouth, not when your fingers quickly found their place within the wetness oozing from the space between spongey tongue and roof. Teary greens straining to meet your gaze, pleading mercy like what you were doing to him was torture, even though Vio was the one who slammed his ass back to meet your hips each time, without fail. 

“Aren’t you a fucking mess?” The amusement in your voice was palpable, and you knew it got him off, what with the way he keened, forehead pressing to the sheets and hands fisting the fabric as though it could save his life. “Don’t think I’ve ever heard an apology from these pretty lips,” your point was driven home when he gagged, and your spit-slicked digits slipped out just for you to smear it to a shine on them, “best not start now, hm? It might make me wanna take pity on you and then-”

He cried your name, and you watched the muscles in his back ripple as he convulsed. Sweat glistening, mesmerising in the way rain droplets were when they ran races against glass windows, dripping into the divots of sacral dimples you were aching to dig your thumbs into.

“And then who’s gonna fuck you like this, huh?” Your cleaner hand reached out, wrapped around his throat tight enough to choke him, and pulled him up. It drove you deeper into him — had Vio's eyes rolling to the back of his skull, had him clawing at you with almost the same intensity as he moaned. “Fuck you this good,” your hand trailed to his abdomen, where skin stretched thin, “fill you up, make you scream. You know I’m the only one who can do it for you. Only I know who you are, what you deserve. Right, Vio?”

“O-Only you,” Vio rasped, “only you, Y/N. Please.”

“You keep saying that,” you hummed, pressing a kiss to his jugular absent-mindedly. His pulse was fluttering, light and so fast in a way you thought suited the image of delicacy he’d crafted for the world. The way his body molded to your shape said otherwise, unbreaking, despite your efforts to do just that. “What are you begging for? What have I not given you?”

“Everything.” Wisps of blue flurried in your vision, and they were all you could see for seconds after Vio tilted his head back on your shoulder. The ocean, in the colour of his eyes. Lapping waves that undulated and moved towards you. “This much isn’t enough.” Seasalt at his nape, on your tastebuds, becoming addictive. “Give it all to me.” Threatening to drown you. “Y/N.”

For a second you were gone, and then his voice, weighted only momentarily, had you snapping back into reality, into motion, into him. “Greedy,” you tittered, index up his Adam’s apple to tap on his chin and push it down, “can’t you see that I already am?”

“Fuck.” Vio's eyes widened, the slightest bit — you wouldn’t have caught it if you weren’t looking. Your palm smoothed over where his belly bulged, applied a little pressure and watched his pupils blow. It was funny to you that he hadn’t noticed before. “Fuck. Y/N, wait.” Between his legs, Vio's dick twitched, clearly not as spent as either of you had first assumed, not with how it was leaking now. “Wait!”

There are things you’d never know about him; what type of pleasure coursed through his veins on seeing the strain you put on him, if it was a physical fulfillment, if it was solely the feeling, or the thought, being claimed, stretched, ruined. You never wandered about it long — after all, it didn’t matter. In seconds, the ocean overflowed for you. He spilt for you.

Vio lost his mind for you.

[nikkeora]

High Enough (Without the Mary Jane)

summary; 'in every other universe, gwen stacy falls for spider-man. and in every other universe, it doesn’t end well'. you don't want to be a mary jane anymore.

or, in which you were the mindy s. mcpherson to miles's prowler

pairing(s); e-1610! Miles Morales x fem!reader, e-42! Miles Morales x fem!reader (r is referred to with she/her pronouns, no physical description.)

warning(s); fem spanish terms are used ('hermosa' etc.), reader’s hand is smaller than Miles’. author can’t write action sequences for shit.

may be ooc but we haven't seen a whole lot of p!miles yet so there isn’t really much to go off of

implied/mentioned parental issues with reader, not proofread, written (mostly) at ao3 hours

a/n; according to google the sinister 6 of e42 are doc oc, vulture, electro, rhino, sandman and scorpion, although i've seen some other ppl say that the eastereggs are vulture, rhino, scorpion, sandman, shocker, kraven and electro. i'm going w the google one, maybe kraven and shocker are their own thing. also they're prolly rich aholes since their signs are on buildings n stuff, so that's what i went with.

also reader was sent to earth 42, but like, a few days before 1610 miles arrives, kind of like how gwen was sent to 1610 a week before she found miles

Miles — or, who you assumed was Miles, anyway — took you back to his place, going out of his way to avoid alleys where there weren't many people around and sticking to the bigger streets. You found it kind of weird. Back home, you and Miles used to cut through backstreets and even some sketchy buildings all the time to make it home before curfew.

You felt him steal glances at you the whole walk, and you’d be lying if you didn’t do the same.

This version of him just felt so.. different.

Once the two of you reached your destination, he let you up the stairs first before quietly calling for you to stop once you reached his floor. You hesitated for a moment on the steps. It was a higher level than Miles’s flat back home, and the building had looked a lot different from what you’d seen just half an hour ago, even if it still felt familiar. You’d chalked it up to the multiverse doing multiverse things at first, but he was starting to act a little off.

Having been around your Miles for years, you knew all his tells. You could see how his weight shifted on his feet as he unlocked the door. You could see he was overall standing straighter and more tense. You could see the hesitation before he turned the key.

Miles was lying to you. And he felt guilty.

But what were you going to do?

This universe was new to you. Sure, everything seemed just about the same, but it was all so foreign at the same time. There where skyscrapers you’d never seen before, new graffiti on the streets of the same couple people over and over again - all of whom you were sure you’d seen somewhere before but couldn’t quite grasp where. The sight of buildings blocked by yellow tape and more in the process of repair after seemingly being burned down or blown up were common in this world, like it was an active war zone or something.

You really didn’t have a choice but to follow along.

He opened the door and waved you in, closing the door rather hastily after the both of you.

You took a glance around the room. There were metal bars on the windows, to keep people out or trap them in you couldn't quite figure. There was a DJ setup near them that looked awfully familiar. Hooks hung down from the unfinished ceiling, some holding chains and others oddly shaped items haphazardly wrapped with what looked like brown lunchbag paper. Wires and ventilation just about everywhere, most of the wires leading to either monitors or gadgets you assumed were in the progress of being built. An old, beat up couch and some gym gear by the wall, an open kitchen-slash-workshop area straight ahead.

The only source of light was the neon red from the signs outside the window, and even then the farther bits of the apartment remained a dark purple hue.

Then someone came out of the other room.

“What's this?”

The hell—?

From the shadows, Aaron Davis emerged.

His beard was more grown out then you'd ever seen, and his features looked sharper, almost rougher. His shoulders seemed more broad, though maybe that was the heavy jacket he wore making him look bigger than he actually was.

“¿Tío?”

Miles had taken you around to his uncle's a couple of times, which you now realized was why you recognized this place. Aaron raised an eyebrow at you, surprise flashing across his face before it was quickly wiped out. He looked over you, taling in your appearance.

“Miles.” He asked again.

“I dunno,” the boy replied, stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets and avoiding his uncle's gaze. “Just found her on the way home.”

“Found her?”

Aaron glanced at you, then back to Miles, then back to you, his eyebrows furrowed in either confusion or frustration. He finally looked back at his nephew, the two of them having a silent conversation you couldn’t read.

“…Fine.” Aaron sighed, turning around—

You felt like you were dying, or being born, or possibly both at the same time. For a split second, you were nothing but particles, your skin and bones and just about everything being ripped apart then sewn back together. Your vision was a mix between TV static and rapid fire neon colors, and it was about the same deal with your hearing (which was concerning, since you couldn't usually hear colors).

Miles had taken a step forward, letting you grab his arms to keep you from falling over as he said something you couldn’t quite hear. Aaron had whipped around so fast you wondered how it didn’t give him whiplash, fists at the ready in case he needed them.

“What was that?” Miles’s voice finally got through to you, the high-pitched screaming in your ears dying down. You blinked at him as your mind went blank.

“I don’t—” You cut yourself off. Wait, was it..? Had you just..?

“Complete cellular decay.” You recalled Miles’s countless retellings of the multiversal mess that had happened just about two years ago. “I’m glitching, aren’t I?”

“Right, and you know this because..?” Aaron asked, his hands now at his sides but not eased yet. He eyed your face as if he was expecting you to grow a third eye or something. Honestly, you couldn’t blame him.

“Okay, so, this might sound crazy,” You started, “but I’m from another dimension.

“We had something like this happen back home a while back — except, y’know, people came into our dimension rather than people from ours going somewhere else.

“The people that came, they were glitching, too. Their atoms were displaced and decaying.”

“So you’re saying,” Miles spoke up, his grip tightening around your forearms just slightly. “If you stay here too long—”

“I’ll die, yeah.” You said, the reality of the situation hitting you like a KTX. “Disintegrate, to be more accurate.”

Silence filled the flat as all three of you processed the information. Miles was frozen, his gaze fixated on the spot where your hands grabbed onto him as if he was scared you’d disappear if he looked away. Aaron crossed his arms, his eyes darting from left to right like he was reading some invisible text.

As for you, you felt unreal. Your body didn’t feel like your own anymore, your vision more like looking at the screen of a first-person shooter. Were you going to die here? You didn’t want to die yet. What would your dad think? Would he file a police report? Would Miles’s dad send out a search party to look for you? And Miles—

You hadn’t even said goodbye to him at the party.

You hadn’t said goodbye to anyone.

I don’t wanna die I don’t wanna die I don’t wanna die I don’t—

“Hey,” Miles says, his voice softer than earlier, snapping you out of your spiral. His hands slide down your forearms and slip into your own, giving them a firm squeeze. “No vas a morir.”

You’re not gonna die.

“Te llevaré a casa.” The boy said, his deep brown eyes bore into yours, slowly bringing you back from feeling like you’re looking at a video game to feeling more like you’re lucid dreaming. It wasn’t a total fix, but it’s a start. “I’ll get you home, I promise.”

You took a deep breath, trying and failing to ground yourself more.

“What’s five things you hear?” Miles asked gently, tilting his head and leaning ever so slightly closer to you. You just blinked, overwhelmed with everything.

“Mi vida,” he said again. “Five things.”

You paused for a moment.

Sirens outside.

Yelling from the streets.

Chains clinking in the breeze from the open window.

Aaron shuffling around in the other room. When had he left?

The buzzing of the lights overhead.

“Good.” Miles said encouragingly. “Now, four things you see.”

Miles.

A pan on the kitchen stove.

The DJ table by the windows.

Tio Aaron pulling out the couch to make a sofa bed.

“Three things you can touch here.”

Miles.

The ground if you bent down, you guessed.

Some trinkets on the table just over there, but you’re not gonna touch that.

“Two you can smell?”

Rusted metal. There’s tons of it around; on the walls, the ceiling, tables, even on the shelves. What was that chest plate doing back there, anyway?

That pool smell, which is kinda gross since it came from the chlorine in pool water mixed with all the gross stuff that came from human bodies.

Miles smiled as you said that. “Vuelves a mí, mi sol.” He squeezed your hands again. “One thing you can taste.”

“I dunno, soda? We had a ton of it at the party.” You wiggled your fingers. It was like you were stepping into your body for the first time — nothing was a perfect fit just yet, like a pair of knitted gloves with too much room at the ends of the fingers. You’d have to get used to it again.

It’s then that Aaron called Miles over, the boy reluctantly leaving your side and following his uncle to the other room. He told you to make yourself comfortable on the couch before he went, though, so that’s exactly what you did. The spring cushions feel oddly comforting under you, the familiarity of home twisted just slightly out of proportion.

There’s really nothing to do alone here. You tapped your fingers on your leg. Thankfully, Miles and Aaron came back after just a few minutes.

The first thing the boy said to you, “I’m gonna get you home.” A firmer, more certain repetition of his promise from a minute ago, albeit there’s a bit of a strain in his voice as if it physically hurt him to say it. In a clumsy yet swift motion, he quickly leaned down and kissed your cheek before making his exit rather hurriedly.

You felt the heat rush to your face, your hand coming up almost immediately to touch the spot.

Aaron chuckled and shook his head.

“So,” he said. “You as smart as she was, too?”

-

You tinkered with the gauntlet of a prototype suit that Aaron had dug out of storage somewhere, the man himself working on the main body. The helmet — or was it more of a mask? It was a bit bulkier than Miles's Spider-Man mask, a bit more tech-y. Probably more similar to an Iron Man helmet, now that you think about it, albeit lower in its level of advancement — was plugged into one of the many monitors strewn about the flat.

You'd managed to pry a couple bits of information out of him for the past few hours (during which you hadn't glitched again, thankfully) in exchange for some of your own. So far you knew that this universe’s Jefferson Morales had passed away a few years ago, prompting Miles to take on the mantle of the Prowler to avenge his father’s death — the details of which he stayed frustratingly vague on — and, later on, to keep the city as safe as he could.

“Wait, wait, who’s your Spider-Man, then?”

“Who’s Spider-Man?”

You blinked in confusion. “What? You don’t have a Spider-Person?”

“What, like, a part-spider guy? Nah. Scorpion’s mostly bug though, that count?”

This dimension didn’t have a Spider-Man. That was why the city was so overrun with bad guys.

You gave him a general rundown of the whole ‘radioactive spider’ thing and moved on.

Your own variant, who was Miles’s best friend and had helped make a lot of his gear, had disappeared a while after the Prowler started taking out some bad guys that were a step above villain-of-the-week, the ones who had all sorts of shady connections. Hearing about your presumed death was a strange experience.

“We know they took her,” The older man had said, jamming his screwdriver into a faulty part of the suit. “But the cops are all in on it ever since the Cartel bought ‘em out. Declared her dead after less than 24 hours.”

Oh, speaking of, apparently there was a team of villains bringing Gotham to life in New York, Brooklyn being the heart of it all. How fun.

The Sinister Six Cartel, as the Bugel had dubbed them, was the one Aaron and Miles believed to be behind your variant’s disappearance. The two were certain that the Cartel had worked out a connection between you and the Prowler. The nail on the coffin was when they sent a body double of you in the Prowler’s direction to mess with his head just a couple months ago, complete with some sort of Face Off style mask that made it possible for the fake to look exactly like you. It was only a day or two before Miles figured out it was a setup, but it had shaken him up pretty bad.

“I thought you were another one.” He’d admitted. “But then you did the whole glitchy thing. Looked horrible, by the way, real nasty. It hurt much?”

“You have no idea.”

In return, you told him about home. You told him how Miles’s dad was up for a promotion, practically Captain already. You told him about your Miles’s art and how he made a mural of him after his death. You didn’t go into too much detail about the ‘death’ part, focusing more on the peaceful aspects since it was so clearly missing from his every day life. You couldn’t really read this Aaron Davis that well since he was more guarded than he had been back home, but you could tell he appreciated it; especially the parts about his brother.

You also told him how Miles and the other Spider-People who were sent to your dimension had worked out a solution to fix their situation, and gave him a brief summary of the whole ordeal, the details of which he texted Miles since he hadn’t given you a chance to tell him about it when he left so hastily. He said something you couldn’t quite make out as he did — you caught the words ‘lab’ and ‘property’, but that was pretty much it. He only waved it off as nothing when you asked him about it.

“How’s my dad?” You asked, pushing your hand into the gauntlet to test if it worked right. It was a near perfect fit, which made you wonder who exactly it was for, since Miles’s hand was bigger than yours. “Is he doing okay? After the whole ‘declared dead’ thing?”

“He’s holding up, just like the rest of us,” Aaron replied, checking on the monitor. “Your mom — her mom’s been sticking around. Grief brings people together and all that. They’re trying therapy.”

A weird feeling bubbled up inside. While it was good to know at least one version of your parents were trying to reconcile, it bothered you that your absence had prompted it. Was that what was happening right now back home? Had your disappearance magically brought your parents back together? Had it even been long enough for that to happen, or did time flow equally throughout the multiverse?

…

Would it be better for them if you just didn’t go back at all?

“Oh.” You said, nodding slightly as you flexed and wiggled your fingers in the gauntlet, watching the way it moved. It was a lot thinner than the claws that adorned the Prowler’s hands from what you’d spotted here and there in the flat, built to be stealthier in the way it functioned. There were no clunks or clinks, just soft whirring noises that sounded almost like a cat’s purr. “That’s good, I guess.”

It was worse this time around, which you didn’t even know was possible. You felt yourself being split in a billion different directions, parts of you re-atomizing not quite in the right places. You’d never known the feeling of having space between where all your joints were supposed to connect, but now you did, and it honestly made you want to die. Not really. Well…

-

Miles came back sometime before dawn. You heard the door opening slowly, almost like he was trying not to wake his parents up as he was sneaking in past curfew. Not that he used the door ever since he could climb walls, but still.

He crept into his uncle’s flat, even leaving his shoes at the door so he wouldn’t make too much noise. He was making his way to the other room when he looked at you on the couch, only to flinch in surprise when he saw your eyes were open.

“¿Qué haces despierto?” He whispered, his shoulders tenser than earlier from the split second of adrenaline. “It’s late.”

“What are you doing that you have to sneak in?” You whispered back. The boy just shrugged.

“Oh, you know…” He trailed off, looking around to avoid your questioning gaze. “…Stuff.”

You rolled your eyes. “That has gotta be the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.”

Miles huffed, shuffling over to you and sitting down on the floor in front of the couch, facing you. “Yeah, well, I asked you first. Why’re you up, hermosa?”

You sighed. “Can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

“Oh, I don’t know, the thought of my impending doom, maybe.”

A couple beats passed by without a word from either of you, a bit of awkwardness hanging in the air, though it was accompanied by a familiar sense of comfort.

“Do you trust me?” Miles asked, his hand reaching out to gently grab a corner of the blanket draped over you.

“Probably.” You replied. You hadn’t known him long enough to trust him just yet, as much as you wanted to. The corners of his lips tilted up just a bit in an almost smile.

“Then trust that I’ll do whatever it takes to get you home.” He said. “I already lost you once, I’m not letting that happen again.”

-

The next day was pretty uneventful. For the most part, anyway, if you don’t count the random glitching throughout. You were advised heavily against going outside since the Cartel had eyes everywhere, so your area of activity was limited to the flat. Miles had evidently snuck back out after your little talk the night before, which made you feel a tinge disappointed since you wanted to get to know him better. Fortunately, Aaron said you could help with the suit again.

The TV played in the background as you tapped on the keyboard, giving the helmet a few final touch-ups as the sun set outside the window. J. Jonah Jameson jabbered on about this week’s biggest disasters and lamented about how ‘if only there was a hero to save this city’, which made you snort.

“He’s gonna switch up real quick if a hero does show up,” You remarked to Aaron, who looked at you questioningly. “The guy hates Spider-Man back home.”

“What, Jameson?” He said, raising an eyebrow. “Nah, he’s the biggest Captain America fanboy out there. Loves heroes an’ all that.”

He thought for a moment. “Pretty sure Miles saw him at Comicon that one time too.”

“What’s a Comicon?”

Unfortunately, you never got the answer as you heard the lock on the door slide open. You spun around in your chair to greet Miles as you knew he was supposed to be coming by sometime in the evening, but your friendly smile quickly faded as his expression turned to one of shock, catching a glimpse of what the two of you were working on.

The boy froze as he stared, wide-eyed, at the suit. “Tio,” He said, looking at Aaron as he clenched his jaw. “What’s that doing out?”

“She needs a suit.” The older man answered simply.

“What?” Both you and Miles asked, though you could tell it was for vastly different reasons.

“We need to get into Alchemax to get her home, and we can’t do that unless she has protection.”

“Which is why I came here to make a plan!” Miles shouted, his hands moving animatedly, the way your Miles's always did when he got upset. “Eso, eso no le pertenece. ¡No es para ella!”

They had a back and forth as the pieces came together as to why Miles was so upset.

The suit was supposed to be for you.

His you.

You were, essentially, fixing up a dead girl's clothes to wear.

“The Cartel isn't stupid, Miles,” Aaron tried to make the boy see his point. “Even if we somehow made a distraction big enough for the big ones to leave base, there's still gonna be someone left to guard it. Would you be able to live with yourself if she got hurt? Or worse—”

“Don't.” Miles's nails dug into his palms, leaving dark cresent moons in their wake. Aaron sighed.

“If she got hurt, you'd feel like that's on you. If you got hurt protecting her 'cause she doesn't have anything to protect herelf with, then I'd feel like that's on me.” He said, his features softening as he reasoned with his nephew. “This is the best bet.”

“We could build her a new suit—”

“And take what? Couple days? A week? Two weeks?”

He glanced at you, Miles following his gaze towards you as well. You knew what was implied. The only people you knew this happened to had gone maybe over a week before the glitching became a real problem, and they were superhuman. Who knew how long you had?

“She can wear mine. We have a ton of old ones, I'll just take one of those—”

“I'm not gonna let you get hurt for her, kid.”

“Don't call me that.”

They went back and forth for a while, and eventually Miles went to the other room to cool off and think things through. Aaron sighed, wiping a hand across his face.

“No offense.” He said to you.

“None taken.” You replied, not really knowing what to do. It felt wrong for you to be tinkering with something that was so clearly not meant for you, even if it was for a variant of yourself.

You could hear Miles pacing the other room, muttering to himself.

“Maybe I could...” You trailed off.

“You could try talking him into it,” He suggested. “He'll listen to you more than me right now.”

“...Should I, though?” You couldn't even begin to imagine what Miles was feeling. All this multiverse shit was too damn complicated.

“Look, kid, I know it's weird.” Aaron said, shoulders sagging just a bit. “But this—” he pointed to the suit— “is the best way to make sure no one gets hurt. Trust me.”

There was something he wasn't telling you, but he didn't have to for you to know what it was. Miles thought you were alive, somewhere out there. You knew it was entirely possible that he blamed himself for your disappearance, as it was your own version of him's go-to for anything and everything that went wrong. The shadows under his eyes, that look whenever he saw you... you wondered how many nights he'd spent outside, looking for some trace of you, a new lead to follow. Especially since your arrival.

Aaron thought this was the best chance Miles would ever get to let go of you. To get some sort of closure by sending you home.

“…I'll try.” You finally agreed, getting up from your seat and shuffling to the other room. You hesitated before going in, but the lack of a door made it awkward to linger, so you just bit the bullet and walked inside.

The room in question was more of a faux-veranda (which explained the no-door thing); a long, narrow space separated from the main living area by a sheet of drywall, with one of the wider walls filled with shelves of CDs and albums and the other decorated sparingly with old band and movie posters along with Miles-brand stickers.

“So...” You said, fiddling with your hands as you took a look around the area. You gestured at one of the stickers on the wall. “Did you make that?”

Slowing to a stop to face you, Miles nodded, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket.

“Cool.”

You both stood there in silence for a moment, you working out what to say and Miles trying to come up with some other solution to the problem. The boy had an unhealthy obsession, that much he knew, but he just couldn't bring himself to let go of it. Not when you could be out there, just waiting for him to find you.

“I don't want to push you,” You started hesitantly. “But.. I think your tìo may be right.”

“I know that.” He looked at his feet as if the dirt on his shoes was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world, the sight of him reminisent of a little kid getting scolded by his mother. “I know that.”

“I can't say I understand.. whatever's going through your head right now,” You said, taking a step towards him. “But he just wants what's best for you.”

“What's best for me is finding—” He cut himself off when his eyes met yours, frustration and confusion and stubbornness and sadness and who knows what else all mixing into a big mish-mash of conflicting thoughts inside of him. He clenched his fists, tilting his head up as he tried to think clearly. To his dismay, his throat closed up, the familiar sting of tears pricking at his eyes.

“I need to find her.” He muttered, putting a hand over his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears from falling. It didn't work. “I need to find you.”

“And you will.” You were sure of it. Aaron and Miles were both so sure that their you was alive... she had to be. “But right now? Right now, I need you to help me out.”

He looked at you, his gaze almost spaced out for a moment. You wondered if he saw her in you — if she had the same haircut, the same eyes, the same accent...

You could tell he was frustrated by the way that the scrunch above his nose wouldn’t go away. Hesitantly, you reached out, wiping away the tracks stray tears had left on his cheeks. He stiffened for a moment.

“...Fine.” He finally muttered, a hand coming up to grab your arm, though he seemed unsure if he wanted to push it away or pull it closer. So he just held it in place, his thumb brushing over the inside of your wrist, the edge of your palm. His posture relaxed, just a bit. “Okay.”

-

Two days later, it wasn't too dark when the plan set into action.

Security at Alchemax — once belonging to Kingpin, now in posession of the Sinister Six Cartel — was thinnest sometime around six to seven pm, when dinner breaks, shift changes and the checkout of regular scientists were prominent.

Miles and Aaron had each set up time bombs at multiple smaller warehouses the Cartel used for storage, each coordinated to go off within minutes of each other. With little to no heroes or police in the way, the Cartel had no reason to keep their lesser important stocks well-guarded, which made it easy to sneak explosives into some of the shipments, support beams and pipes.

Once the explosions were set off, Aaron would use some rip-off Mysterio tech to make projections of some new vigilante gang, with each fake member leading the forces of the Cartel away from Alchemax. During this went on, Miles would sneak you in and to the Super Collider (which, surprisingly, had not been scrapped since its change of ownership) through the vents—

“Wait, wait, isn’t there like, a tunnel that can get us directly to the Collider?” You’d asked, remembering what Miles had told you when he first told you how he became Spider-Man.

“It got sealed off.” Aaron had said. “Some sort of supercharged electromagnetic thing. They did that with all the major underground entry points. Can’t shut it off without blacking out half of Brooklyn.”

“Or getting fried.” Miles had said. “The generators powering each point are all hooked up together a single system, como una mente colmena. You attack one of ‘em directly, all the others shoot a billion bolts of energy into you. And we don’t have time to hack into and get past the firewall to shut the thing down.”

—which you would navigate by memorizing a blueprint of Alchemax that had been conveniently leaked in a mass Cartel server leak a couple months ago. Miles would then plug in the goober he, Aaron and you had made using information gathered via Aaron's 'friends', and send you home.

It was a simple mission. Maybe a bit too simple, but you didn't really have much a choice when you were on a time crunch with limited information. Besides, Occam's razor.

“Copy?” Aaron's voice asked from your earpiece.

“Copy.” You answered, followed by Miles from his own communicator.

“A-6 is a go in 3.. 2...”

Boom.

A couple blocks away, a cloud of dust shot into the air. The building you and Miles were on the roof of shivered slightly as storage unit A-6 blew up.

“A-27.”

Boom.

“C-15.”

Boom.

From your vantage point, you had a clear view of what was going on at Alchemax without the risk of anyone down there catching a glimpse of you. You could see the non-combat scientists scrambling to get to their cars and the armed guards being led by weirdly dressed villains in the direction of the explosions. Although you supposed you weren't quite qualified to comment on the 'weirdly dressed' part at the moment, since you and Miles weren't much better in your respective suits.

Speaking of, Miles hadn't talked much ever since he first saw you wearing the suit. His responses were short if he even gave one, although you could feel him sneaking glances at you when he thought you weren't looking.

Miles fixed the gauntlet on his hand one last time before shuffling closer to you. “Ready?”

His voice sounded strange to you, his actual voice coming through your earpiece overlapping with the voice coming through his modulator.

“Mhm.”

“Going in.”

You hooked your arms around his shoulders and his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you tight as a grapple shot out of his gauntlet. He used it almost exactly like how Miles used his webshooters, although his actions were a bit more... forceful? Rougher around the edges, if that made sense.

As your feet left solid concrete, the city sped by underneath the both of you, a pretty blend of neon and gray. Your suit prevented you from actually feeling the air whipping by, but a fraction of the wind managed to seep through the cracks, sending a chill down your spine as your stomach dropped at the sudden decline.

For a moment, gravity seemed to disappear. The laws of physics no longer felt like they effected you in any meaningful way. Anything and everything that had been weighing down on you — this whole situation, Miles, demanding schoolwork at Visions, your parents and their myriad of problems — no longer held you down.

It was exhilarating.

Your 'flight', so to speak, was over almost as soon as it started. You tucked your legs as you reached the roof of the Alchemax building, separating from Miles and rolling to lessen the impact. Surprisingly, the move came quite naturally to you, even without practice. You chalked it off as something you'd learned when you were a toddler, when your mom used to sign you up for all sorts of extracurriculars. You were pretty sure martial arts or something had been one of them; maybe you'd learned it there.

Your heart pounded as the sudden rush of adrenaline faded away, and you found yourself wishing it didn't. The thrill was addicting, as was the freedom that came with it. It was like a rollercoaster, or watching How to Train Your Dragon in 4D for the first time, only a hundred times better.

Miles had never taken you swinging. He'd never exactly told you why, always brushing off your request with something like a 'maybe later' or 'I can't right now', but you knew why.

Swinging together was a him and Gwen thing.

And you were fine with that.

What, like you were gonna be jealous about something as small as that? Pfft. No way. Nope. Nada.

“¿Estás bien?” Miles asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. You nodded in confirmation.

The two of you pried open a vent using the gloves of your suit, which was easier than you’d expected it to be. To your surprise, the claws that extended from them were very useful.

“We’re in.” You muttered as you crawled into the duct, hoping Aaron wasn’t having any trouble on his end. He’d been awful quiet… Then again, no news is good news on a mission, right?

Miles crawled in after you. “You remember the way?”

“Yeah.”

Together you made your way to the underground levels of the building, miraculously avoiding any possible dead ends or mouse traps. That musty smell of mold and concrete reached your senses as you reached the deeper parts.

There weren’t many people at the Super Collider, thanks to the diversion and timing. Miles gestured for you to stay put as he swiftly dropped out of the vents, knocking out the few guards there one by one with relative ease. It was strange seeing him fight; so similar to yet completely different from him. You were doing as told and observing from the vents until you saw one of the last three people — a scientist, by the looks of it — sneaking up on Miles from behind while he was preoccupied with the two other guards.

You quickly dropped down from your spot, landing behind the guard and catching him by surprise as he whirled around with his weird-techy-science gun. Dropping to the ground, you swept your leg under his, toppling him over and knocking the weapon out of his hands. You were about to knock him out when—

“Peter Parker?”

Are you kidding me?

You were certain it was him. This Peter was scrawnier, his hair more sandy blond than Peter Parker’s back home (before he passed, anyway), and he wore thick, black-rimmed glasses that perched awkwardly on his slightly crooked nose. But the ID that read ‘Peter Parker’ in big bold letters around his neck was a pretty solid indicator.

“…Yes?” He almost squeaked out.

Meanwhile, Miles had dealt with the two guards, stepping over them to get to the console. “Sácalo y entra ahí.” He called, fumbling a little as he tried to figure out which buttons to push to fire up the Collider.

“We have a bit of a situation..” You said, pulling Peter up by his arm and dragging him to the console as well.

You gave him a hushed explanation of your unwillingness to hurt the guy, and how you believed he was genuinely a good person. After all, this universe was almost the same as yours, right? Peter Parker couldn’t be that different here…

“And besides, he probably knows how to work this thing. It’d be helpful.”

Miles sighed. “…Fine, I won’t knock him out,” He agreed. Turning to Peter, he asked, “How do you start the Collider?”

Peter gulped, everything in his body language screaming ‘I want to run away’. “You- you need codes,” He stammered out. “Approval codes, from—”

“Don’t care.” Miles cut him off, giving him a brief glance at the goober. “Just start it. ¿Lo pilla?”

Peter nodded hastily and got to work, pressing buttons and switching levers as you made your way down to the Super Collider. There was a catwalk that ran from one side of the machine to the other, connecting the two mechanisms. If you got to the middle of it, you could jump off and into the portal once the Collider was at full output. Sure enough, its huge metal plates clinked and clattered as they slowly sprung to life.

This was it. You were finally going home.

Just then, you heard a thunk along with some choice words in Spanish, and looked over to the source to see Peter out cold on the ground.

“He got to the panic button!” Miles said, scowling to himself as he plugged in the goober, praying that this plan would work out in the next minute or so. Bubble-like particles appeared at the two points of the machine that faced each other, the noise it emitted now making it so that you could only properly make out what Miles was saying through your earpiece.

The Collider whirred and sputtered as the bubbles grew bigger and brighter, eventually bursting into two beams of light that met each other in the middle, creating one big sphere with a bunch of little bubbles going in and out of it and surrounding it. The sphere grew larger and larger until it collapsed in on itself, sprouting thin, curvy lines.

The thing grew bigger and bigger until it was about the size of a person, you could feel it starting to pull you in. You just had to wait for Miles’s go ahead—

Ow.

What the hell?

You were suddenly sprawled on the ground, something having tackled you at what felt like a hundred miles an hour. That something — or rather, someone — skid to a halt just a few feet away from you, dragging a hand across the tiled floor and leaving… scratch marks?

Scrambling to your feet, you crouched in a defensive stance as you looked over the newcomer.

There wasn’t a single inch of skin showing, their suit covering the whole of their person. The suit in question was mostly white, with some gray sprinkled in here and there. It reminded you of Eve from Wall-E or a Stormtrooper, maybe a mix of both. Strangely enough, the mask was just a blank slate; a sleek, white panel with no features or details, kind of like one of those LED face masks.

Overall it was kind of… boring? It didn’t inspire fear nor did it seem very imposing or something of the sort, which you’d think would be a priority for a villain organization. If anything it was bland, the only thing that stood out from the suit being its hands which donned gauntlets that looked similar to yours, but slimmer and more polished, more accurately described as gloves rather than gauntlets. They had claws just like yours, albeit they looked sharper, a bit more gnarled.

“Miles?” You called, your heartbeat quickening. “What’s going on?”

You heard a grunt from his end. You didn’t look to see what was happening, not daring to take your eyes off of your attacker, but you guessed that backup from Peter’s panic signal had arrived.

“What’s going on?” Aaron echoed, his voice slightly fuzzy. Before you could answer, your attacker lunged. You managed to doge a full on body slam, but they grabbed your arm instead, using it to flip you over their body and knocking the wind out of you.

You writhed as you hit the ground, managing to rip your arm out of their grasp and landing a kick on their ankle, causing them to stumble. You took the opportunity to get up and put some distance between the two of you, though you didn’t get far before the lunatic started chasing you. They jumped at you again but you turned around at the last second, and as you were pushed back with their claws digging into your shoulders you kicked both of your legs out into their stomach just as your back hit the ground, sending them straight over your head.

“Tìo, get your nephew, now!” You shouted, rolling away just in time to avoid a punch that landed on the floor where your head had been just a second ago. “It all went to shit, get him out!”

The pull from the Collider was getting stronger, tiny scraps like bolts and papers flying through the air and towards the beam of light. You raced back to the catwalk but were once again stopped by the 29th century Stormtrooper. You yelped as you felt something grab the back of your neck, sharp claws piercing through your suit and digging into your skin as your head was thrown harshly against a metal beam.

And just like that, you were on the ground. Again. What was this, like, the third time? Fourth? Great. Just fantastic.

I’m not even supposed to be here, you thought, grabbing at your opponent’s wrists as their hands wrapped around your neck, slowly choking you. They were stronger than you were, faster, clearly more skilled. What were you thinking? You’re not a fighter — you couldn’t beat them, not like this.

Why was the universe so intent on making you miserable? You were just trying to get home, maybe not die. Not dying would be nice. But no. You couldn’t have nice things, could you? Not your own life, not Miles, your own damn parents were happier in a reality where you weren’t in the picture—

A sudden surge of anger made you lash out. The universe could go fuck itself. You weren’t dying like this. Not when your ticket home was right in front of you.

Your gauntlet caught your attacker’s mask, knocking it off.

You knew that face.

It was the same face that looked back at you every time you looked at a mirror.

Well, not exactly, you supposed. There was a certain roughness in her features, the same as how Miles looked different from Miles. But you’d know those eyes anywhere. But they were… what’s the word, fuzzy? Unfocused? It was like her body was on autopilot while her brain was off in Hawaii or something.

The thing you did next could’ve won you the prize for ‘smartest dumb decision of the year’.

In all your oxygen-deprivated brilliance, you retracted your mask.

It might shake her, was your reasoning. It would confuse anyone to see a doppelgänger in a fight.

Or, you know, it could go totally wrong and she could punch your face in. But you were already getting choked, so, what was there to lose?

And it worked.

Her eyes shifted back into focus as her grip slackened, and you quickly shoved her — or is it you? yourself? — off, gasping for air. You could vaguely make out the outline of a giant scorpion-guy going one-on-one with Miles, who seemed to be holding out pretty well. He was favoring his left hand though, when usually he used his right.

“I— wha—? Where—” You heard from your left. Your alternate universe counterpart looked around the lab, her eyes wide and movements jerky like a wild animal on drugs.

You were about to say something when a loud buzzing came through your comm, which had evidently been damaged in the whole head-beam connection thing. Miles’s voice came through in broken pieces.

“Col— get..t— ov-rload—”

The Collider. The goober could only force an incomplete system to run for so long. Your time was up.

Wonderful.

A flash of blinding light came from the machine as it malfunctioned. The goober could only make an incomplete system work for so long. You were just able to get your helmet back on before everyone in the vicinity was pushed back in an explosion. Was that Aaron—?

After your temporary blindness wore off, you made out the aftermath, a high-pitched ringing in your ear as you dazedly looked around. The glass that separated the control area from the Collider had been shattered, the Scorpion twitching as he tried to get to his feet — did he have feet? Now’s really not the time — There was no sign of Miles or Aaron anywhere, which was either very good or very bad. You decided to believe it was the former for your own sake. A short distance away from you was another you, that one unconscious but still breathing, from the looks of it.

Grabbing your variant, you ripped open a vent on the wall before the Scorpion could take notice of either of you, shoving her in before following suit and placing the vent cover back on. You had to get out of here. Fast.

[gyuwoncheol]

Vantage Point | Meet the Characters & Series Masterlist

Status: Begins tomorrow (January 20)!

Pair: Mingyu × f.reader

Summary: Pulling off the "No Strings Attached" arrangement with his best-friend-turned-best-friend-with-benefits was easy, but when a new condition is added onto the mix, Mingyu didn't realise just how much he held onto you when you finally let go.

Genre: College au. BFFs to FWB trope. Fluff, Humor, Angst, Smut [chapters with smut will be indicated and will contain the necessary warnings]

Author’s Note: Please take time to read this before starting the series ☺️

Hello, my darlings! Finally getting round to posting this after missing the commited date last time due to covid. But welcome!!! 🥳 This is the first story to my Snap Shoot universe! Before you get into it, let me just point a few things. This is the first time I'm ever creating a universe with interwoven stories, and while I've done SMAUs before, this is the first one I've done for SVT and the first time I'm also this adventurous about it. It's definitely very different from what I post on here but I'm having lots of fun putting it together. I know it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, this is very much a work of fiction. This is an AU. While Korea may be the assumed setting for this series, it is not explicitly defined. I'm also trying to avoid using lots of Korean cultural references (maybe except for food) such as use of honorifics like "hyung". While many of my other works refrain from over-describing oc's physical features, you may find that in this series (and universe), oc's features will inevitably be defined. You'll find that the visuals of the characters and the aesthetic of the photos/social media posts will be Korean/ Asian. It's a SMAU, so i'll have to place photos and these photos must maintain consistent. I absolutely do not mean any ill intention of being non-inclusive (I don't even fit the same aesthetic as oc).

Again, it's a work of fiction, while I want you to relate to oc, kindly also allow me breathing space to build the character. If you feel uncomfortable at any point in the series, you are very much welcome to stop/unfollow. As mentioned, this is a SMAU, but it contains several chapters which are purely written narrations. All edits (texts, social media posts, etc.) were done by me, however some photos (esp those of Y/N) are from the web, if they are yours, please let me know so that I may credit you or remove the photo. The texts are all done on light mode. Deal with it. This follows a FWB trope, expect lots of smut and suggestive content— specific smut warnings will be available in chapters where they are present, along with other necessary warnings. This series will have lots of fluff and lots of crackhead nonsense humor. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Biggest shoutout to my dearest friend @wongyuseokie who has been nothing but supportive through all of this and through all my dramatic Mingy-induced meltdowns. I love you more than you’ll ever know ♥️

Meet the Characters

Mingyu: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography, yn/Camie's best friend since childhood

Yn: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography with Mingyu, Mingyu's best friend since childhood. Nicknamed "Camie" by her group of friends for her highly concerning camera collection/obsession.

Seokmin: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography, same friend group as mingyu and yn, Mingyu & Wonwoo's housemate

Soonyoung: technically a year older than the 3, but currently a Sophomore with Gyu, Cam and Seokmin after shifting into their major

Wonwoo: Junior, studying Film & Photography as well, Mingyu's guy best friend and housemate in The Man Cave, a brotherly figure to OC, Soonyoung's former classmate in highschool

The Man Cave: shared house near their university where Mingyu, Wonwoo and Seokmin live, and Soonyoung often crashes.

✨Other characters/members will come as the series progresses.

Series Masterlist

To be populated as each chapter is posted. There is no posting schedule. Chapters will just get uploaded as they come.

Teaser

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five 🔞

Chapter Six 🔞

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Tag List!

@strawberryya @idyllic-ghost @septemberskies @ladyblablabla

If you want to be tagged as each chapter comes out, do send me an ask or reply to this post so I could include you in the tag list 😊

[lorelune]

O4O: part ii

|| jing yuan x reader || E/18+ || omega 4 omega, hurt/comfort || wc: 11.5k  || ao3 ||

After your swift departure following his heat, Jing Yuan copes with your strange behavior. He only hopes you will crumble, so he may catch you.

minors, antis and ageless blogs dni

part i - part ii - part iii (coming soon!)

notes: ohhhh mommy jing yuan how you continue to captivate me. this piece has been so fun to dive into!! and has gotten longer than anticipated :'^) though o4o was a planned two shot, it will now be in three parts!! please enjoy this part and all the goodness of caring kind and patient mommy jing yuan <33 thank you soo much to @ofmermaidstories, @owlespresso, & @honeyedgifts for beta reading and providing invaluable feedback. KITH!! now ENJOY!!

CW: a/b/o, omega jing yuan, omega reader, reader with afab anatomy and referred to with they/them pronouns, a burgeoning mommy jing yuan, hurt/comfort, sick fic, angst that WILL resolve (i prommy), author-cooked omegaverse lore, one threat of spanking, a single named OC, medical environments, past dan feng/jing yuan/yingxing

Jing Yuan remembers his first heat startlingly well.

It occurred only a day or two after he presented. He’d been Jingliu’s apprentice for less than half a decade. Fresh-faced and young, soft in his cheeks with youth. His scent had sweetened rather suddenly while out in the field with his fellow Cloud knights. His normally neutral aroma turned to something balmy and honey-like in the space of an afternoon. Jing Yuan had felt tender in the days leading up to this change, however, he hadn’t thought anything of it.

He was raised by two betas, after all. They had not bothered teaching Jing Yuan the signs to look out for when nearing the precipice of presenting and the symptoms of an impending heat. Jing Yuan hadn’t understood why the aggressive scents of sweat and musk that clung to the bedclothes and sleep sacks of his fellow recruits bothered him so much. He hadn’t understood why his chest and inner thighs ached, despite not being bruised or overworked by Jingliu’s training exercises. He did not understand why a few of the squirrelier recruits in his company seemed to follow a few paces behind him after their afternoon exercises, lingering around the communal shower as Jing Yuan washed himself.

Jingliu, however, was a coupled alpha with a very kind, loving omega mate. And the moment Jingliu smelled Jing Yuan, freshly bathed and without the reek of sweat on him, she quarantined him to a private quarter with as many blankets and pillows as she could find.

Jingliu was not an affectionate master. She was rather cold and rarely gave Jing Yuan any type of leniency during his training. She did not know restraint, she knew mastery and passion like they were her lovers and not the chipper Foxian that Jing Yuan would one day come to call one of his most beloved friends.

Yet, as Jing Yuan ripened and his first heat rolled over him, Jingliu was outstandingly kind. She stayed with him in his nest of scratchy, ill-suited blankets and scented him as gently as she knew how. Wrist-to-wrist, nosing at his sweaty temple tentatively. She saw to him until Baiheng could arrive and take up the task. 

Jing Yuan can still recall hazily watching Baiheng and Jingliu exchange scents at his bedside, caressing each other so tenderly in a mere greeting. He remembers thinking:

“Will I be held like that one day?”

The thought was violent back then. Jing Yuan had not yearned in such a way before and he immediately assumed such a deep desire for intimate companionship surely had to come from his heat-addled mind.

Jing Yuan now knows that this assumption is wrong. 

He had been held kindly, one day, by Yingxing and Dan Feng who tended to him so well. The kindest mates, sweet in their own ways, though always sharp-tongued. They both carried attitudes, but Jing Yuan didn’t mind the teasing and prodding they exchanged. The banter was half the fun. Jing Yuan knew that it would one day end, as Yingxing was short-lived and Dan Feng would’ve (should’ve) outlived Jing Yuan. 

(It did end, but so differently than he expected. Yingxing, an abomination torn asunder that barely recognizes Jing Yuan as an old, scorned friend and not a lover. Dan Feng— now Dan Heng— he who wears the face of the man Jing Yuan loved but who cannot ever give him the same things. He who will never want the same things.)

Jing Yuan carried (carries) his broken heart well. What’s done is done. Jing Yuan never expected to be loved again, cherished or held like something to be cherished or held. Gentleness, he gives to others when he can, though he would never expect to receive it. 

Maybe he craved it. 

How could he not? 

Regardless of secondary gender, everyone needs care.

In the throes of his heat, he craves the presence of a lover and companionship so deeply it makes him feel sick. His heats now are nothing like this first heat, where Baiheng wiped his brow with a cold rag and whispered to him kind praises like a mother would. They are nothing like the many he shared with Yingxing and Dan Feng, who fought over the best ways to please and sate him.

His heats now are lonely things. They are seldom more than a grudge match between the repetitive stress injuries in his arms and the knotting toys he keeps at his bedside and his motivation to be fucked and knotted by a false phallus made of silicone. His heats are unpleasant, truthfully, and if it wasn’t detrimental to his health, Jing Yuan would take an abortive medication before each one and stop them from occurring at all.

Until recently.

You somehow snuck your way close to him (he invited you to do so), and offered him the thing he had craved for centuries without a second thought. No expectations, no transaction. Your earnestness had always been a point of attraction for Jing Yuan. Sincerity as a turn on. You offered him your presence, body, scent and a smile for nothing more than an assurance that he wanted you.

And, of course he did. Jing Yuan is not a proud man, and he will admit his faults readily. And whether it’s a quirk of biology, his own psyche, or some combination of the two, he wants you.

And now he has had you.

And yet, you left him and his bed cold. 

...

Jing Yuan worries in the days that follow his heat. Post-heat makes him antsy and anxious in a way that is uncommon for him. He alternates between pacing the courtyards in the middle of his estate and burying his face in the linens and pillows of his nest, soaking up as much of your fading scent as he can. He lives in the robe you had favored. He brings the wide, silk neckline of the garment to his nose frequently to inhale the strongest smell of you that lingers there. 

He feels, notably, a bit pathetic.

It isn’t like him to stew like this even in post-heat. Usually, he’ll be on edge and fatigued, spending a day or two in bed before returning to the Seat of Divine Foresight to catch up on paperwork. It’s unpleasant, but not unbearable, and he doesn’t carry the same pit in his stomach that he does now. 

His palms sweat during the day hours. He sleeps poorly. 

It doesn’t help that you hardly contact him during the days that follow. He received a single text from you, just after you had left so abruptly: 

[name]: i just got home safe. i apologize again. i hope you are well.

And nothing beyond that.

Jing Yuan assumes your own heat had hit. This is the most logical conclusion, as occasionally one omega’s heat can trigger another’s. It explains your erratic behavior and the scent-blocking patches plastered to the side of your neck. And Jing Yuan supposes it is fair for you to want to be home, near your nest your instincts would urge you to. 

However—

(Jing Yuan is pathetic and a bit petty, and cannot deny that he is upset that you didn’t think to ask him to be your heatmate, after you so diligently and tenderly cared for him.)

Jing Yuan is not used to the conflict between his omegan urges and his own sense of reason. It makes him feel sick with a headache during the final day of his post-heat. He can’t even enjoy his usual tonic of ginger, lemon, and lyran root without a roll of nausea. His post-heat finishes with him alone (naturally, it seems, as it always is) and with a tummy ache that would flatten him were he a weaker man and not Arbiter-General. 

...

Jing Yuan does not expect you to appear at your weekly, scheduled lunch. He assumes you are in the throes of your heat. He assumes you are—

(Suffering alone, in an empty nest probably. Or, had you contacted someone? There’s an insecure murmuring in the back of Jing Yuan's mind that worries you had flagged down someone else to keep your company. Maybe an alpha coworker from the Sky-Faring Commission. Maybe a sensible beta acquaintance who can keep an eye on you, but never get too close. Perhaps, you had hired a handsome, pay-per-heat alpha to warm your bed. Jing Yuan hasn’t indulged, but there are plenty of services on the Luofu that offer a catalog of vetted alphas to knot and sate a needy omega.)

It’s an easy spiral to fall into. One Jing Yuan worries himself in until your next lunch.

His worries turn to confusion upon arriving at his terraced garden to find you already at the gate. You idle, bouncing on your toes with a basket thrown over your arm. Jing Yuan can smell the aroma of freshly baked bread and rich, warm butter emanating from the basket. It mixes with your... scent beautifully. It soothes something in him instantly. 

You give him a timid wave and a soft, “Hello, Jing Yuan.”

(Something in him aches.)

Jing Yuan assesses you quickly as you, together, set up the picnic for the meal in silence. Your neck is bare, soft, and unblemished. Not a single bite mark peaks above your collar which provides Jing Yuan with so much relief, that he almost sighs aloud. You seem well-fed, cheeks filled out and soft. Most interestingly, your scent is not heat-stricken. There’s not a hint of pre, post, or standing heat on you. The only difference to your scent is the taste of smoke that lingers in the back of his throat, something charred and acidic. Displeasure. Anxiety.

This all leaves Jing Yuan with more questions than answers, however he asks none during the meal.

Perhaps, Jing Yuan is feeling fragile. Your relationship feels tenuous, despite the seemingly consensual, pleasurable intimacy you so recently shared. Regardless of that, you sit across from him at the low table, picking over your plate quietly and nipping at the skin around your cuticles when you’re not. You can barely meet his eyes as Jing Yuan makes surface-level small talk. 

“The weather is lovely today, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

...

“This bread is wonderful. What bakery did you pick up from?”

“The one at the edge of Aurum Alley. With the striped banner in the window.”

...

“How is Yukong and the Sky Faring Commission these days?”

“Just fine.”

...

Just fine.

It’s stilted and odd. You are clearly aware of the tension, with your shoulders drawn up to your ears and a half-scowl fixed on your pretty lips. Jing Yuan does what he can to parry around it, and draw out what he can from you gingerly. He doesn’t wish to pry at you; he knows it won’t do any good with you this guarded. He’s never known you to be anything other than earnest, so it is easy to conclude that your current demeanor and behavior are based within some type of discomfort.

He does not want to worsen it.

Lunch ends quickly that first week. You do not linger, only offering a quick goodbye before escaping him through a back entrance to the gardens. You offer him a single, fleeting look that echoes a pain Jing Yuan isn’t sure he has a name for yet. It makes something in him shudder and fracture, the soft-hearted omega in him begging the rational, sensical parts of him to chase you down, drag you by your scruff into his nest and explain yourself.

However, Jing Yuan does not. Instead, he leaves you with a melancholy smile on his lips and worn lines under his eyes.

...

Over the next few weeks, your lunches follow the same pattern. You arrive first, act cold and sad during the meal and leave promptly without lingering once it is over. Your scent remains acrid, varying sometimes to sickly sweet in a way that makes Jing Yuan nauseous. You hardly touch your food and offer him little in the way of conversation. Or information. Or anything remotely in the same realm as the soft closeness you had shared in his nest, or the lilting banter you exchanged before. 

Jing Yuan bides his time and does what he can to put you together, outside of your scheduled, weekly meetings.

He reviews your social media for any new postings (there are none). He is keen to take note of any others’ scents that linger on you during your lunches (there are none that are unusual). He even trails you to the evening markets a few times. You’re sullen even then, picking veggies and fruit with a darkened expression. Tired and cold. 

It is perhaps... invasive for Jing Yuan to keep such an intense eye on you. He can accept that. It seems like the wiser option than prodding and poking you and your off mood when you clearly want to spend the least amount of time with him as possible. Jing Yuan knows he must maneuver about your relationship carefully. 

And truthfully? This is unknown territory to him. He is cautious. 

And ultimately? Jing Yuan surmises that you will come to him before he must prod you. You are honest and Jing Yuan is certain (certain) that it must be very difficult for you to hold your tongue and fester the way you are. He resolves to allow you to wallow for a bit longer, before stepping in. He’ll examine you more closely then and find the weak points in your facade if necessary. He’ll lance through them then, and some type of catharsis will follow. The outcome of which he hopes is favorable. 

(He hopes that it ends in companionship. Coupling, if he is to dream. He’ll take scraps as long as it is you.) 

This behavior of his could, theoretically, destroy your relationship. 

(Dan Feng never liked prying. He was a very private person who was so, so careful with what he shared. Even with his mates. Inversely, Yingxing was far from private. He complained and groused about anything and everything that rubbed him the wrong way. There were times when Yingxing would attempt to contain his poor moods, though this was rarely successful. It would inevitably lead to an evening-long outburst between the three of them. Explosive anger and sadness would fade into a sweetened dusk as they shared Jing Yuan’s nest, comforted by the warmth and lack of space between them.

What destroyed their relationship was the unnamed thing that Yingxing and Dan Feng shared that did not include Jing Yuan. 

Jing Yuan never minded it. Both Yingxing and Dan Feng operated in their own unique niches on the Luofu, as High Elder and a rare short-lived genius, and they found a special type of kinship in that. Jing Yuan was not jealous within their polycule.

Perhaps he should have been.

Dan Feng’s brooding anxiety was a quiet thing. Like a storm out at sea, writhing as one looked on it from the shoreline. Something to watch out for, to run from, to seek high ground away from, but so distant that it was easy to dismiss. 

Dan Feng feared Yingxing’s inevitable, looming death. Dan Feng loved so deeply and he would lose it so soon. Jing Yuan felt similarly but tempered the feeling. Dan Feng, despite his many meditations and mantras, did not.

Dan Feng had been given so little that was truly his in his lifetime. To have the life of a lover ripped away by something as trivial as biology incensed him.

Yingxing entertained Dan Feng too much. Spurred on things too large for him to truly understand. It’s belittling to say, but Jing Yuan believed it then, and believes it even more in retrospect. Yingxing researched and fed Dan Feng’s hope and anxiety in tandem. He kept Jing Yuan in the dark near the end, with lust-filled nights, a fat knot, and a well-cared-for nest. 

When Jing Yuan pressed the two of them about their shared absences, their oddly timed visits to Scale Gorge and peculiar demeanors, he was pushed away. Shut out. It made him hurt and shake and only the two of them could put him back together in those instances. To be squeezed between them, fucked out and full, would soothe any wounds their distance left. Temporarily. They’d only be more distant the morning after and the cycle would begin again. 

For all of his sharpness, Jing Yuan was unable to stop them in the end

Truly, how does one stop the mighty storm, born from the sea and the volcanic belches beneath its surface? Jing Yuan is only a man. To be caught in the ocean’s swirling undertow and the sky’s gales would have been a fruitless struggle. Treading water in the calm sea was hard enough. Under the tempest Dan Feng and Yingxing birthed? Jing Yuan could not bear it. He did not know how. The mutually-assured destruction that the duo brewed was not meant for anyone other than each other.

Jing Yuan wonders if his own aches had pushed the two away from him and closer to each other.

Was it guilt they were both too stubborn to name? Or, something worse like dislike or even hate? Did they only tolerate him, by the end, when they were too engrossed in their plans to achieve immortality to care about their omega anymore? Was Jing Yuan’s long-faded claiming bite a burden to them? 

Jing Yuan tries not to dwell on it. It makes him too sad.

He will not deny the effects that their departure had on him. He is tentative to entertain lasting bonds like the ones he once had. He rejects every suitor. He is far too careful in sharing his burdens with those who do care for him. He dances with his words and feelings better than any street performer in Aurum Alley. 

He worries for you because he has created some type of bond with you, and he worries that if he pries, you will run off and away from him, into a storm that he cannot weather, only to be swallowed by it.)

So, Jing Yuan is careful.

...

Things boil over exactly a month after Jing Yuan’s heat. 

It is sooner than expected, though you are a tender-hearted thing. Perhaps Jing Yuan should’ve suspected that you would break within your own turmoil sooner rather than later.

On this day, you are not early to lunch. You are absent from the gates at the appointed time. Initially, Jing Yuan thinks you perhaps went in without him (you never do, always waiting to walk in step with him), though you are not any place in the garden when he does enter. The low table is bare as he steps under the gazebo and settles himself onto one of the silk pillows.

Jing Yuan can’t help but be nervous, rubbing at the scent glands on his wrist without thinking of it. As the minutes tick by, his unease grows like an oily bubble in his chest.

(You haven’t sent him any messages indicating you wouldn’t be here. You haven’t ever been so late before, never left him idling like this without any sort of communication. Your silence seems to speak more than anything else you’ve said to him in the past few weeks.)

(‘I don’t want to see you anymore, Jing Yuan.’)

Before Jing Yuan has further time to catastrophize, the back gate to the garden opens with a slam. It shuts far more quietly a moment later. You stand next to it, fumbling with the mechanical latch.

As your scent bleeds over the garden, Jing Yuan stands without thinking. His own spiral shatters.

Your scent is sour. Like something rotten, like a fruit ripened and laid with the eggs of insects. It’s far more alarming than the off notes that your scent has carried recently. It’s sickly sweet, earthen, and fleshy in a way that is startling and putrid. The sweet warmth of it is gone, not even a layer of it remains as you mutter to yourself, continuing to struggle with the gate, visibly panicking.

You speak before Jing Yuan can further acknowledge you, “I’m s-so sorry to be late. I-I got caught up with something in the Alchemy Commission, and the Starskiff tram— it filled up and I had to catch the next one, and then— I missed my stop? I’m sorry—”

You run a hand through your hair and tug.

Jing Yuan must attempt to soothe you, yes? He keeps his voice even and low as he says, “It’s alright.”

You do not look well, Jing Yuan realizes as he nears you. Your appearance matches your scent. Sweat soaks your temples, running in rivulets down your neck to visibly soak the collar of your innermost garments. Your pupils are pinpricked, gaze far away even as you (attempt) to speak to him. Your lips are chapped, chewed raw. The petal-softness looks almost busted open on one side from the abuse.

You scowl at him and shake your head.

“It hardly is.” You mumble. “I—I didn’t mean to make you wait. Or worry— if you did. I’m sorry to assume.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Jing Yuan approaches you carefully, slowly, the way one would approach a frightened, soaked kitten. “How about we sit, hm? I’ve already poured us both water, and it looks like you could use some.”

You open your lips to protest, and the bloody scab at the corner tears. Fresh scarlet bleeds over the puckered flesh and you turn away from him, just enough to paw at the wound obscured.

“I’m sorry.”

Jing Yuan’s heart breaks a fraction.

Your unwellness strikes something in him, and a white-hot dread burns from the base of his skull, down his spine, and settles in his hands and lower core. It is the physical reaction to the lucid understanding that something is clearly wrong. He can’t quite parse what, but he knows he needs to find out. Mend. Do something because if he has to hear the broken inflection in your voice for much longer, he will shatter. His nerves and resolve are more frayed than he thought. 

With his voice soft and gentle, he says, “I appreciate you thinking of me, however, you truly do not need to apologize. If you’d like, you can continue your apologies once we get you into the shade and get some water in you. It’s already chilled. I’ll pour you a glass. How does that sound?”

It’s a belittling way to speak to you. He knows this, yet cannot stop the way his tone sweetens and lightens. It feels— natural, instinctual. It makes his mouth feel dry and tacky because—

(God, when was the last time he allowed himself to respond to his own anxiety and need to care in this way?)

(Will you be receptive to it?)

You stare at him, scowling and wet-eyed, “It— sounds f-fine. I can pour the water, though.”

(Perhaps.)

Jing Yuan steels himself, “Would you let me? I’d very much like to.”

“I always p-pour it though,” you sniffle. “You don’t need to.”

“I’d like to.” 

He would. 

Jing Yuan offers you his hand, palm up and inviting.

(He anticipates a rejection. There’s an afterimage, a fragmented memory of Dan Feng scolding Jing Yuan for this flavor of soppy vulnerability. Yingxing once laughed in his face for this type of sober-minded, sexless tenderness. They didn’t mean it to be cruel. They didn’t know how it bruised part of him so deeply that centuries later, his hand trembles the slightest bit as he holds it out to you with the same feelings warming his chest down to his toes.)

You take his hand.

Jing Yuan feels himself relax, if only a little.

He guides you back to the table, rubbing his thumb along the meat of your palm. He deposits you next to him at the table, rather than your usual spot across. You don’t seem to mind, you’re too focused on immediately fussing with the pillows and mats below you. Jing Yuan idles, watching. 

You’re so uncomfortable in your own skin.

It takes you a while to settle. You shift from your knees, to cross-legged, then back to your knees. The pillow you’re atop clearly isn’t to your liking as you wobble on top of it, frown deepening as you try to get comfortable. You don’t look at him— or you won’t look at him, he isn’t entirely sure. 

Jing Yuan pours each of you a glass of water and sets yours close to you.

“Drink?”

“Not yet,” You shove at the pillow between your legs. Your voice pinches. “I— I need a moment.”

“Take your time,” Jing Yuan assures you. 

(He will not let you hurt for long. He can’t.)

You push and pull at the cushion. Your thighs quiver as you barely manage to hold yourself up to try and sit more comfortably. Jing Yuan watches you, taking note of how your body seems to struggle with its own weight. When your outer garment spreads open around your legs and he gets a peak of your inner layers, he can see that you’re soaked. Though, there’s no scent of slick on you. He presumes it must be sweat. 

Poor, poor thing.

You gnaw at your bottom lip, teeth digging into the wound that’s already there. It weeps blood, a little smear of it dragging onto your chin.

That’s enough.

Jing Yuan snatches your water glass up. Gently, he presses the rim of it to your lips.

“Drink, please.”

It’s a gamble, truthfully. This much proximity and care could scare you off. It could make you turn tail and run, really. But, Jing Yuan needs this, he thinks. He needs to show you he cares in a way that is tangible and touchable and maybe then—

(You will understand the depth of his feelings. Maybe, you’ll even learn you can lean on him.)

You look over the top of the glass at him with widened eyes, “I—”

“Perhaps it will help you settle. You look quite dehydrated.”

“B-But I feel gross, I don’t want to drink anything.”

Jing Yuan implores you, “Will you try?”

“I don’t want to.” Your tone edges to that of a petulant child, fists balling up over your thighs. “I-I don’t know if it will help.”

Jing Yuan hums thoughtfully. “It certainly won’t hurt to have a small sip, would it?”

“... Probably not.”

You flash him a teary look before jolting your gaze away from him, blinking rapidly.

“For me, then?” Jing Yuan asks. “Just a little sip. If it makes you feel worse, you don’t need to drink any more. But, I really do think it will help.”

“... Okay.” You concede.

Jing Yuan expects you to take the glass from him. You have been careful not to touch him since his heat after all, and with how cagey you are, this hardly seems like the exception. And yet, you wrap your hands around his own that hold the glass, and tilt it back to sip. He follows the motion, careful to make sure you don’t choke. 

Jing Yuan watches you take a small sip, then another, then a third, and suddenly you throw back the glass and take a gulp. 

It soothes something in him.

He’s careful to keep the glass tilted just right so you do not drown yourself. You take large sips, water spilling from the corners of the glass, down your chin. Jing Yuan feels soothed as you finish it, allowing him to pour you another. You shake like a leaf next to him as he does. 

“Slower with this next one,” Jing Yuan urges. “Would you like me to help you again?”

“I—I— No. You shouldn’t.” You shake your head. A moment later, you lay forward, face down on the table, bracing your forehead against the wood and hiding your face from him. Your arms wrap around your middle. “You shouldn’t have to.”

You curl in on yourself.

“But, I’d like to. If it would help you and make things easier.” 

Jing Yuan moves to pet the back of your head but pauses, just before he does. He hovers there, considering, assessing—

He can’t be entirely sure what state you’re in. It’s clearly not heat, nor is it pre-heat. Perhaps you are ill regardless of your heat cycle, but he hadn’t noticed any other symptoms other than sweating, a clear fever, and your rancid scent. He cannot be sure any type of contact, intimate or otherwise, will be wanted, let alone welcomed. 

He takes a chance.

(Jing Yuan remembers that you are a soft creature. Fragile and craving. You need contact, even if you think you don’t. Jing Yuan will remind you of this.)

He sweeps any hair off the back of your neck and lays his palm flat over the nape of it. His fingers wrap around the sides of your throat, just barely, and squeeze. Not enough to cause discomfort, just applying enough pressure that you can both be grounded in it. Jing Yuan nearly growls when he feel the absolutely torched state of your scent glands—

You keen. It’s a warbling thing and tension leaks out from you. Like a half-built home, you collapse in on yourself. You sniffle a moment later and press your face harder into the wood. Jing Yuan— he can’t have that. Seeing you hurt hurts him. He coaxes your head up as much as he can and rubs at the skin of your neck. Not near your scent glands, they’re too sensitive, even with the barest touch. He leaves them alone as a concern to sort out later. 

You allow him this contact. You even lean into it and toward him as he pets you. Your shoulder bumps into his own and Jing Yuan can feel the heat coming off of you in waves. He hates this. He hates seeing you in pain, suffering, and he wants to fix it, but biding his time is the best option. He must be coaxing and gentle regardless of how he’d like to heft you over his shoulder, take you back to his nest, and make sure you are safe and well-cared for. It would help. Whatever state you’re in, suffering alone can’t be helping you. But being too rash could scare you off so easily. 

You shiver beside him. Poor, poor thing. Your eyes are red-rimmed and glassy. He squeezes your neck reassuringly. Instantly, you’re hiding and burying your face in your hands.

“Jing Yuan,” you say softly. “You must stop being kind to me. Please.”

“I don’t think I can, dear.” His tongue slips and his heart aches. What a foolish idea for you to have. “Why do you not want me to be kind to you?”

“Because—” You chew on your words and shake your head. “I— I haven’t been good to you. I’ve actually been shit to you, and— it’s not fair for you to be so kind to me when I have been so vile.”

‘Vile’ is too strong of a word. Too cruel to yourself. You’ve been avoidant, yes. Unwell and dealing with so poorly, entirely. But vile? Hardly. Though your actions stung, he doesn’t hold the previous weeks against you. Especially in this moment, where his concern far outweighs any other feeling he carries. Any other pains you’ve caused him can be addressed later. There is more to parse. But nothing that takes precedence now that you are beginning to crumble.

“I disagree.” Jing Yuan says your name, sweet on his lips and aching between his ribs, “Please do not speak of yourself so poorly.”

“But it’s true,” your voice wobbles. Your shoulders shake. “I deserve it, don’t I? You are too kind to me, Jing Yuan, but I have been cruel to you. I left you in post-heat. I continue— to see you and pretend everything is fine, and that we’re fine, and that I’m fine even if we both know that something clearly isn’t. Yet, I-I’m too much of a fucking coward to say anything to you. I k-keep withholding things from you. I keep messing up and I hate that I’m doing it. I feel awful, lying to you and keeping you away. And yet, you are still kind to me—”

A sob breaks your last word and your hands fly to cover your mouth.

He says your name again, voice threatening to break, “It’s alright—”

“But it’s not!” You snap. “I-I care about you so much, Jing Yuan. I really do and I keep messing up. And I-I don’t know how to fix anything. I’m sorry.”

Jing Yuan collects himself and makes a series of decisions very quickly. It’s necessary. Your scent is putrid. Angry and rotten now. And Jing Yuan can’t bear to watch you struggle like this anymore.

He acts. It’s a flurry of motion in which he snakes his arms around your waist. In a single heave, he pulls you into his lap. He hauls you close, against his chest your legs thrown over his thighs. You fight him, just a little. A bit of squirming and a shove or two at his chest, but he isn’t perturbed. His arm stays securely wrapped around your middle as he tugs you closer still. You push against his shoulder with a frown.

“Jing Yuan—” 

He tilts your chin up with a wide palm. You startle when you meet his gaze, almost cowering. 

“I will not sit here and listen to you berate yourself any further for my sake,” Jing Yuan levels his gaze. He will be stern. He thinks you need it. “Do you understand?”

You bare your teeth at him, “I’m being honest—”

Jing Yuan reaches up and tears one of the scent-blocking patches on the side of his neck off and tosses it aside. His scent radiates. It’s concerned, worried, hurt but the achy kind of pain. Bitter and wind-whipped. You stiffen as his scent mingles with yours. There’s a sharp quality to his own scent that makes you cower just a bit, sinking further into his lap and the support of his arm wrapped around you.

“You are being incredibly harsh to yourself,” Jing Yuan tells you, softening his voice. He pets your cheeks and watches your eyes begin to water once more. “It doesn’t serve me, and it certainly doesn’t serve you. I know that you are upset, I have been able to smell it since the moment you entered the garden. I would like to help, but I can’t if you focus on being cruel to yourself, rather than telling me what is hurting you so badly.” 

“I—” You swallow and wring your hands in your lap. Your words fade off and you only nod. 

Tears slip down your cheeks anew. Before you have a chance to try and wipe them away, Jing Yuan ducks his head lower, closer to yours, and swipes the tears away with his thumbs. You sniffle when he does, meeting his eyes, only to look away quickly and fix your gaze on the ground. Your shoulders stay slack, though.

(A sign of submission.)

Jing Yuan will take it. He adjusts so that you’re fully bundled in his lap and he buries his nose in your hair. Ideally, he would drag you to lie down in the piles of satin blankets and pillows but Jing Yuan thinks better of it. He’s unsure he’d be able to get up if he were to get tangled up with you. The instinct to nest feels too intense to not heed if he were nestled any closer to you and the soft cushions. 

You shiver against his chest. Whether it’s fever or nerves, it is hard to tell. You almost vibrate, sniffling and allowing Jing Yuan to tend to your cheeks. You even let him press his lips below each of your eyes.  A little sob cuts off as he pulls away from you. He squeezes around your waist.

“Will you tell me what is going on?” He asks, voice hardly above a whisper.

You gather yourself, then nod. Your cheek squishes against the plate of armor on his chest and you bear into him. It doesn’t even seem like you’re doing so on purpose.

“I m-messed up,” you tell him quietly. “Really bad.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing that can’t be fixed,” he assures you. 

“But, Jing Yuan, it is bad. Even if it’s fixable, I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s alright,” he replies. “I’d like to help, but I can only do that if you tell me what’s wrong. What happened, dear?”

It takes you a moment to gather yourself. You grab one of his hands and cradle it in both of yours. Sweetly, you rub at the meat of his thumb and over his palms. You glance up at him as you do.

“I was foolish.”

Something in him cracks. 

“Do not insult yourself again, or I will put you over my knee.” The words fly from Jing Yuan’s mouth without any forethought. “Do you understand?”

It’s too far— it should be too far— but it’s clearly not as you squeak and nod, compliant. Something to be addressed... later. One thing at a time.

“I—” You nod your head erratically. “I understand. I won’t. I promise.”

“Good, dear.” He is brazen enough to lean his nose into your temple. You lean into him with a wet hiccup. “Please continue.”

“Okay,” you say. “I—I messed up while I was helping you with your heat. Like, really messed up. I d-didn’t mean to, but I didn’t take my suppressants the entire time I was with you.”

Jing Yuan barely keeps himself from stiffening up.

“I see,” he breathes. “Do you take the variety of suppressants that need to be taken daily?”

“Uh-huh,” You nod with a gulp. “I u-usually take them at night, right before bed. But I didn’t even think about them while I was with you. I was... having such a nice time that they completely slipped my mind until the morning I left your home. I started to feel a little weird in the shower, and my scent got all muddled, and I remembered.” 

“I see,” Jing Yuan replies with a nod. “You did not smell like heat the following week if I recall.”

“I t-took an abortive heat-onset p-prescription I keep on hand,” you tell him softly. “I have a bottle of it that was prescribed by a healer I see at the Alchemy Commission. I have... severe heats. It’s better to stop them at all costs than to weather one.”

You haven’t ever told him this before. Your own heat cycle was always something private and kept to yourself. It makes sense, really. You were under the impression he was an alpha until relatively recently, and you had no reason to share the intimate details of your cycle and its apparent difficulties. 

You continue, “My sup— sup— suppressants aren’t a great type, I think? They work well, but they need a high dose to do so. Going off of them cold turkey, even f-for a short time has r-really messed up my heat cycle. I’ve been taking them consistently again, but it’s still a-awful, Jing Yuan.”

Your voice wobbles and breaks when you say his name, and you bury yourself in his chest. You hide there and Jing Yuan can’t help but to huddle over you, rubbing over your arms and waist and hushing you. The urge to soothe overtakes him. 

“It hurts, hm?” He speaks the words into your ear, and you shudder and nod profusely. Your scent is spiking, sweetening next to the rot. It’s better, at least by a fraction.

“Y-yeah. It’s so much. I keep getting little fevers and think I am going into preheat. Then—then I feel sick, like properly sick, and I think that I’m getting heat sick. I— get heat sick really easily, so it always feels likely and then I’m worried I’ll have my full heat and be sick. So, I—I take more of the abortive medication.”

“Each time you believe that you’re approaching your heat?”

You look down at your lap, shame clouding your eyes, “Y-Yeah. I know it’s bad. It keeps making me ill. My cycle just won’t even out— I feel so stupid— I shouldn’t say that. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I—I just don’t know what to do.” 

Your last word shatters you and you bawl into Jing Yuan’s neck.

He lets you. He brings his knees up, boxes you into him and lets you scent him feverishly. Jing Yuan so badly wants to scent you back, but he is ever-aware of your own inflamed scent glands and thinks better of it. It would bring you more pain than relief at this point. Instead, he does everything else he can think of to ease you. He lets you nose into the scent glands on his neck, open-mouthed and panted between labored breaths. His hands run up and down your back and arms, smearing his own scent all over you.

“It’s alright,” He, instead, assures you through your panic. “Thank you for telling me.” 

“Of course,” you hiccup and rub your cheek against his. “I just want it to stop.”

Of course, you do. Jing Yuan feels awful that you’ve been suffering and struggling and he hasn’t lent a hand this entire time. He feels— a bit foolish himself for not putting together that this was why you have been so avoidant and reclused recently. 

“I know,” he replies gently and cajoles your face away from his neck. You start crying harder and with your full chest when you don’t have direct contact with his scent gland anymore. Poor thing. He rubs under your eyes and softens his own. “It’s been scary, hasn’t it?”

“Mhm,” You turn into his hand, seeking him. God, Jing Yuan is going to crumble along with you.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to weather this alone.” He says gently. “I’d like to try and help you, if you’ll let me.”

“... Only— and I m-mean only, if I am not burdening you.” 

“You are not a burden to me.” You could never be. Jing Yuan speaks seriously and presses his lips, now chapped and dry with his worry, to your forehead. He lingers. “Even if you are struggling, it does not burden me to help you. It is much more of a hardship to think about you suffering alone or watching you suffering alone in the present. I would very much like to help— perhaps with a visit to the Alchemy Commission is in order firstly. How does that sound?”

“B-but, I already tried to see a healer today.”

He hums, “Is that why you were a bit tardy?”

You flush and nod, “Uh-huh.”

“What did the healer say?”

“They didn’t have a proper healer available for a walk-in, since they said it wasn’t an emergency,” you reply. “J-just an apprentice. He told me to get bed rest and try to take some time off of work.”

“Sound advice,” Jing Yuan nods, but notes the fact that you’re still soaked through with sweat and severely unwell. “However, I’d like it if we got you in to see someone for a full exam.”

“They said they were all full today— no appointments.”

Jing Yuan hums, rubbing over your ribs, “I have a personal healer at the Alchemy Commission. I am sure she will be able to make some time for you.”

“... Are you sure?”

“I’m certain.” Using his perks as Arbiter General hardly ever is appealing these days, not anymore. It would be a good use of status to get you into an urgent appointment for what is increasingly becoming an emergency with a physician he trusts. 

“... As long as it doesn’t cause any trouble,” you chew your lip and settle back into him. 

“You are not trouble,” he reminds you simply. “I only want to help relieve what is so clearly troubling you. Do you trust me to help?”

He asks you directly. Something is emerging between the two of you, he can tell and sense it, even if he doesn’t have a name for it yet. He knows that he will need your explicit trust to hatch the strategies that he wants to. You must trust him if he is going to take care of you well and properly, in the way that he is almost certain you will need.

“Of course.”

Of course, you trust him. You press a kiss to his jaw and linger there. Your neck, with your inflamed scent glands (are those hives rising up over top of them?), bared to him. 

Jing Yuan could cry.

You don’t fight him anymore. There’s no bite in you now, just the afterburn of tears and the last dribbles of them that soak down your neck and jaw. Jing Yuan can’t help pressing a few kisses to your burning cheeks. You let loose a warbling whine that breaks the stillness of the garden. Jing Yuan wants more of it, more of you, but there is work to be done first.

You tuck into him as he takes out his phone. It soothes him to see you there, burnt out, but soft-lipped against his chest. He pets over his cheeks as he shoots off a few important messages. 

...

The Alchemy Commission is quick to accommodate the General and the omega that the public will come to presume to be his mate. They tend to move heaven and earth when he requests anything of them (The last two High Elder’s have been quite fond of him, and that bias persists throughout their delve.) He has never been so happy to be in their good graces.

With haste upon your arrival, you are situated in a spacious exam room. It’s perfectly quiet; it’s the one they always keep Jing Yuan confined to when he requires attention. He’s glad they afford you the same care. It’s quite necessary. 

You’ve wilted on the journey over. Though Jing Yuan offered to arrange a house call so you could rest in the comfort of your home, you shot down the offer immediately and without debate.

(“My ne— my house isn’t presentable.”)

It’s fair. A cagey, sick omega rarely wants a stranger in their home.

Besides, the atmosphere of the clinic seems to soothe you— both of you. The exam room is outfitted with a long line of cupboards and jars for dry storage. Various mortars and pestles for mixing and grinding of remedies sit on a bench. There’s even a small stove made of black rock to be used if a medication requires heating. The smell of dried herbs and medicinal oils permeates the air, and each lungful settles something in him. It reminds him of the many nights he spent bothering Dan Feng while he concocted the High Elder’s pearl panacea for his patients. It brings Jing Yuan back to his own bouts of illness, when Yingxing would chide him for being reckless while slathering his chest and the bottoms of his feet with minty salve.

Your scent dulls with the environment as well. The white noise of rushing water, just beyond the delve, surely helps relax you too.

(You still do not look well. Jing Yuan tries not to fixate and spiral on the fact that you are so deeply unwell, as it will not serve him further than working himself up. He instead keeps close to you, bearing your weight as you lean into his side and slump. You burn beside him.)

You only perk up when Jing Yuan’s healer enters.

His healer is a silver-eyed Foxian named Lei Huiling. As she enters the exam room, a gentle wave of budding jasmine flowers and rock sugar follows. It’s a gentle scent, clearly of an omega. It’s non-obtrusive, but still calming. Jing Yuan has always appreciated its quality, and he can see that you do as well as you sniff toward her and relax a degree. 

She bows politely, “I apologize for any sort of wait.”

“It’s alright.” You reply, voice crackling and parched. “Thank you for making some time for me.”

“It’s my pleasure.  I am happy to accommodate any request of the General. The Divine Foresight owing me a favor is an added bonus.” She gives a snaggletooth smile with a tilt of her head. Despite your condition, you stifle a laugh. 

Jing Yuan appreciates the levity. 

“The General is good for them.” You tell her. Your voice is crackling and dry.

It makes Lei Huiling’s brow furrow. “The General is an honorable man, you think?”

“I know.” 

You squeeze Jing Yuan’s hand. It’s painfully heartfelt and vulnerable. Jing Yuan doesn’t think you’d reveal your affection with such ease if you weren’t so terribly beaten down.

Lei Huiling seems to sense this as well. She wheels up a chair and situates herself across from the two of you. “I know a bit of what you’ve been struggling with based on your intake information, along with the General’s messages. Could you describe it to me as well? As much detail as you can provide.”

Lei Huiling’s words make you look afraid. You look trapped, ensnared, and Jing Yuan wishes you wouldn’t. It’s the mixture of both guilt and fear that twists your pretty lips and has you mincing in the round, pitted chair you are sitting in. This is frightening for you, all of it, he knows. To have to bear details of something you’ve been so diligently trying to cope with (and hide, but that can be addressed later) clearly is causing you distress.

You squeeze his hand. Jing Yuan squeezes back with more force, and takes to rubbing his thumb over the back of yours. Only then do you begin to explain.

Your explanation is largely the same as the one you provided to him earlier. You do, however, add a handful of (concerning) details.

(“I-I took my abortive medication... maybe eight times. I know that’s too many—”)

(“I’ve been avoiding social s-settings, yes.”)

(“I don’t have much of a pack.”)

(“I haven’t slept well since this has all started.”)

Each admission sends Jing Yuan into a minor panic. He is so, so grateful he carries an extra scent patch on his person and was able to reapply his after tearing it off earlier. The last thing he needs is for you to be aware of his own spiral and machinations through his storm-charged scent.

“It must have been very difficult to go through what you have so far.” His healer gives you a sympathetic look. “Given your symptoms, I’d like to complete a standard exam, if that is alright with you. It would give us a baseline and establish the best ways to proceed to get you feeling better. Does that sound alright?”

You nod, “I’m o-okay with that. Can Jing Yuan— um, can the General stay?”

“Of course. He is welcome to stay for the exam if that would make you the most comfortable. I would like to check the cortisol levels in your slick, however, and that will require you to disrobe while we collect a sample.”

You eye him, think for a moment, then reply, “... He can leave for that part.”

Jing Yuan laughs and scents you with his wrist, “As you wish.”

He doesn’t enjoy leaving you alone, even if he’s only idling in the hallway outside of the exam room. The door is thin and draped with woven curtains, so the sounds inside are muffled, but he strains to hear you regardless. Never mind the various whispers and looks he garners from the various staff who see him keeping watch over an (his) omega. He needs the confirmation that you are—

(Okay.)

...

His healer taps through a tablet with a schooled expression but regards you warmly.

“So, let’s go over things. I will say, that the results of your exam and the few tests we ran are not all that surprising. Your slick does contain a high level of cortisol. You have severe pain in your major scent glands, which is indicative of internal inflammation and imbalance within your pheromonal system. It seems like your fever is lower than it has been, however your temperature is still not within normal range. These symptoms can be attributed to withdrawal symptoms for your specific suppressants.”

“... But, I’ve been taking my suppressants again. On a good schedule too.” You sound like you’ve been kicked. 

Jing Yuan doesn’t mean to, he swears. But, maybe, he shoots the healer a sharp look. Maybe.

She takes it in stride, “You have been, but sadly this type of suppressant isn’t very efficient at regulating after an intense withdrawal. I have not prescribed alyan root-based suppressants in many, many years due to this unfortunate quirk. I also believe your symptoms have been compounded due to overuse of your abortive medication that you took when you felt your heat was beginning. It’s a bad cocktail, though you have done well in trying to get you and your cycle back to a healthy stasis.”

“How do we start to remedy things?” Jing Yuan asks.

You look nervous.

“Really, there are two options, in this case. The one that I would recommend first is that we titrate you down on your current suppressants, until you are fully off of them. I’d prescribe a regulating medication as well to ease your symptoms while doing so. Once you’re titrated off, you can go through a heat. ”

You flinch like you’ve been slapped.

Lei Huiling continues, “... This option would be my recommendation. The best way to help your body recover is to allow for a natural heat cycle to re-establish. We can look into suppressant types and abortive varieties that are gentler on your body, and less prone to the types of side effects you’re experiencing, following your heat.”

You stare at your lap.

“... Is there anything else we can do?”

“There is only one other option that could be potentially viable. I can double the dose of your current suppressants and your symptoms should stabilize within the next several weeks. The downside of this is that, given that you take suppressants in the alyan-root family, the already high, necessary dose typically leads to difficult heats down the line, whenever your next occurs. Heat sickness is a given, and with your personal history and disposition to develop heat sickness already, I wouldn’t recommend this option.”

“I see.”  You sound like you’re about to cry. “I can understand why.”

Jing Yuan, who hasn’t spoken hardly at all, finds his voice carefully, “May we have a moment?”

“Of course.” She nods to him and offers another look. “Would you like a warm blanket? I can fetch one for you in the meantime.”

“... Yes, please.” You reply.

You’re quiet until Lei Huiling returns with a linen blanket, perfectly toasty. It probably isn’t a good idea to swaddle you in something so warm when you’re already feverish, but Jing Yuan concurs that you need the comfort in this moment. He wraps it around your shoulders and lingers.

“Would you like me to step out as well—?”

“No.” You interrupt, rapidly shaking your head. “... Please stay.”

Of course. Of course, he will.

...

You decide to proceed with the first option. 

It is not a decision made easily, even though you agree with Lei Huiling’s assessment that full cessation off of your suppressants is the best course of action in the long run. This decision is made with trepidation regardless. Lei Huiling procures several prescriptions (a tincture of dian orchid nectar, a tea of ginger and myrel root, some tablets that can be dissolved under the tongue that she specifies tastes like apricots, but aren’t made of them—) and writes a detailed, surprisingly legible course of treatment. Her phone number is scribbled at the bottom for you. 

You receive the piece of paper with shaking hands.

Lei Huiling prepares your first treatment right in the exam room. It’s a regulating tincture that smells almost too sweet as she unscrews the bottle and shows you how much to dose with the glass pipet (two-thirds of the way full) and where to eject it into your mouth for best results (the corner, under your tongue without touching your lips or tongue to the pipet.)

Jing Yuan commits the details to memory as you smack your lips with the taste. You grimace cutely. 

You leave the Alchemy Commission in a daze. Jing Yuan keeps you steady with a hand on your lower back, lingering and keeping you walking in a (mostly) straight line. 

He has— much to think about. To ruminate on. The bevy of information he received during your visit and the path forward to remedying you requires careful consideration. There are plans that need to be made, and relatively quickly. The sooner and more keenly Jing Yuan can make them, the sooner he can provide you ease—

(This is under the assumption that you want him involved in your heat.)

He thinks you do. He could be wrong. He could. However, given the way you lean into him, and scent his bicep every few steps, he doesn’t think he has much to worry about. Even if, perhaps, it will take you some time to come to this same conclusion. 

He is willing to wait.

There’s a little shop a few blocks down from the Alchemy Commission clinic that is selling noodle jelly bowls, iced and hot. You must be feeling better, as when you pass by the size, your eyes widen and you slow your already-slow pace. 

Jing Yuan orders you a bowl to split (iced, you need the cold—) and you settle at a table, tucked in a little courtyard, away from the midday foot traffic. You poke at the desert with a frown, spooning up some of the sweetened puffergoat milk that swirls at the top of the bowl. 

“I’m sorry.” You glance up at him, then back down at the bowl. 

(Ah, there it is.)

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“That’s hardly true. If I had remembered to take my suppressants during your heat, we— I— we wouldn’t be in this situation. I wouldn’t have hurt you and I wouldn’t be hurting like I am. I wouldn’t require all of this... excess attention. And for that, I apologize.” 

“... I accept your apology.” Jing Yuan acquiesces. “Though, I do find it unnecessary.”

“But you shouldn’t find it unnecessary. I know— I know I have been inattentive to you and hiding this from you. It’s not fair to you. You should be upset.” you exclaim, angrily shoving a mouthful of bright green tapioca noodles into your mouth.

“It doesn’t please me that you hid your situation. However, I understand why you did. You were afraid, weren’t you?”

“I mean, yes. I am still frightened, but that’s not an excuse to hurt you. And as a result, you now have to deal with all of... this. Which you don’t, I want to assure you, Jing Yuan. I appreciate your concern and help and presence, but I am capable of handling t-this on my own.”

You gulp. Jing Yuan didn’t think you would be so stubborn. 

“You speak as if I’m pulling teeth to simply be in your presence,” Jing Yuan says softly. Your hands ball into fists on the tabletop. “Do you think that?”

“I mean... maybe to a degree? Under current circumstances. You just c-care for me, and keep caring for me, and it must be hard, right?”

“It isn’t.” Caring for you has been the easiest thing he has done in centuries. He probes, “Why would you think that?” 

“Jing Yuan,” you steel yourself and look at him. Into him. “Y-You care for so many, so much already. You are the helm of the godship and bear its burdens as your own. You are as dutiful a general as you are a person, and I can only imagine the effort that is required of you, unrelentingly, at the helm of this vessel. I struggle to find my lapse in judgment and its consequences as anything other than another load for you to bear.”

He stares at you. You stare back. He folds his hands into a steeple and rests his chin on them.

You bring up a logical, fair point. It’s a valid concern to raise, and one that he has already considered. The Luofu is in peacetime. Looming threats have been accounted for and there are always several sets of eyes scanning for any potential new calamities waiting to happen. There are contingency plans, written out in various forms, and backed up across six different systems. Jing Yuan doesn’t exactly derive pleasure from his current duties as general, but there is a satisfaction in knowing that he has ample safeguards in place and is confident in his own abilities to handle unexpected scenarios in stride.

Over the seven centuries that Jing Yuan has been the Divine Foresight, he has become used to the vigilance and protection the Luofu requires. The care he extends to the Luofu is... almost a burden. If he were less duty-bound, it would be. 

The fact of the matter is that caring for you is not something he is duty-bound to do. He is not sworn and expected (beyond social convention) to be kind and caring to you. The careful, fledgling connection of something more vulnerable and adoring is his choice to have, keep, and hold. The softness that you share with him is just for him, and the care he provides to you is just for you. 

He does not think that telling you this fact so simply will satisfy you.

Instead, he steeples his hands, sets his chin atop them and asks:

“Dear, why do you see caring for yourself as an innate burden?”

You freeze, like you’ve been struck under the belly of a storm. Like you’ve been caught. 

“I don’t.”

“I’d implore you to reconsider. I do not know you to be a liar.”

“I— it’s not that simple.”

“It could be, couldn’t it?” 

(If you were honest, like he knows will allow you to release the painful-looking tension wound in your shoulders. It would ease you.)

You stumble over your words, chew them, and look close to tears. Jing Yuan does not falter or waver, not yet, not yet—

“It should be my job, shouldn’t it?” You say softly, down, through the bowl, shooting the sentiment down towards the Luofu’s core engines. “I shouldn’t need anyone to look after me, especially not you. E-even if it would be nice. And I like when you do.”

Jing Yuan thinks about what you divulged in Lei Huiling’s exam room. Your lack of a proper pack, thin familial connection, infrequent scenting— It all paints a clear picture of someone who has taken every opportunity to bear their burdens alone.

(It makes sense, then, why you offered yourself up to be Jing Yuan’s heatmate without hesitation. You intimately know the suffering of a lonely heat and you didn’t want him to struggle in that way.) 

“You are very capable, I can hardly think otherwise,” Jing Yuan itches to reach out for you, but not yet— “But, what if I want to care for you?”

“... You want to?”

“Yes, I would.” 

“... Just during my heat?” You ask, looking up at him demurely. It’s a submissive gesture, one that clearly portrays this insecurity that you shoulder. “Or, after too?”

All of it.

“However you’ll have me.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“How would you have me, though?”

“All ways!” You sniffle and your eyes shine. You’re reaching your limit, close to cracking. “I like that you care for me, Jing Yuan. I just don’t want to cause you any trouble or make you feel like you need to.”

“That’s one of the reasons why I enjoy caring for you so much,” Jing Yuan confesses. Now, he reaches across the table and sweeps his wrist across your own. Your scents mingle. “Because, it is wholly my want and my choice to care for you.”

It all slots together for you then. 

Your expression morphs first to one of relief, then intense sadness, followed by grief that makes your lip wobble. You are sharp, sharper than you seem often, and he knows that your own revelations hit you deep in the chest. Your warm scent goes to cloves and cinnamon and you look so, so sad. 

Your bowl of dessert soup is forgotten as Jing Yuan ushers you into his lap, turned away from any passerbys, covered and protected from any potential, curious eyes. 

“Do you believe me?” He asks, nosing at your neck to emulate a scenting. His touch is ginger and careful. He wouldn’t dare aggravate the ache there any further.

“I-I do.”

And he knows you do. He knows based on how you cup his jaw and barely resist kissing him on his lips. You’re too shy to in public; your eyes dart left and right to ascertain if it's a safe action. Jing Yuan makes the decision for you and presses a firm kiss on your forehead. 

“I’m glad you understand.”

“Uh-huh,” your voice goes weepy and weak. It stirs something in him, an unnameable thing he doesn’t know what to call still, but its presence feels just as familiar as it is intriguing. “T-Thank you for being patient with me.”

“Of course.”

He considers his next course carefully, choosing indulgence in the end. It’s something you both need after today.

Jing Yuan ensures that you are nestled close to his chest, beneath the curve of his chin. He pushes the tip of his index against your lips. It rests on the seam. You make a sweet, confused noise in front of your mouth. Jing Yuan only hums in reply, bundling you up a little closer still. It’s not the best venue for this, but he has never been known for his propriety in casual settings anyway. You are more than hidden enough. Only the ochre and violet lily thickets will be witnesses. 

He pushes his fingers into your mouth.

You startle, just barely, as Jing Yuan strokes your tongue with gentle motions. He watches how your lips part around his calloused fingers, how you shift your gaze from his eyes to his fingers, then to his eyes once more. It’s hopelessly endearing. Your trust is such a precious thing to covet, he only will treat you well. 

Your eyelids droop a moment or two later, tears dripping from the corners of your eyes as he rubs the pads of his fingers along your gums, feeling the ridges of his teeth. Your scent still tinges with sickness but the blooming, plush quality of it is unmistakable.

“Is this alright?”

You nod, bashful. 

He reminds you, “You may always tell me no or reject any advance, same as I can to you, understood?”

You nod again, cheeks warm as he thumbs over them. He knows you must know these things, but he wants to remind you. You do well with reassurance. 

Pheromones are present in spit, just as they are in sweat and slick. The amounts differ per body fluid, but in your current state, your saliva is potent. The small amount that leaks from the side of your lips is fragrant, spinning the scent of you around him. 

Jing Yuan allows himself to be content and a bit smitten.

He whispers to you, lips against your ear,  “What will the people of the Luofu think, hm? Their General with an omega in his lap, toying with them in public.”

You look up at him hopelessly, but do not bite his fingers. You are so good, so so good.

Jing Yuan only pulls his fingers away when he notices the uptick in the pedestrian activity in the streets nearby. It’s rush hour, and the sun will set soon. As pulls his fingers from your mouth, drenched in spit (and your pheromonal musk that comes with it), you flush and tuck your face against his neck. He can feel the heat of you still, a reminder of what must be remedied and tended to. 

You sense this as well, kissing his jaw fleetingly. 

There will be more, he knows. Your heat will come sooner rather than later, and there will be ample time for hidden tenderness in the comfort of your nest (which he is sure will be a splendid thing to lounge about, should you permit him entry.) Desires will be sated, and Jing Yuan will, if allowed, wet his palette with the scent and feel of you. There will be time to enjoy you, and for him to be enjoyed by you once more. Jing Yuan does not know what you will ask of him explicitly, or what you will need, but he is happy to ample his way to understanding. Morsel by morsel, bite by bite, you yield to him as he does to you. 

(You are no alpha to own him, he reminds himself. You lay no claim on him, his soul is untethered to yours, and the relief of that is immeasurable. The connection laid between you will be built in teeth and touch, but in a different way than the ones he was once so familiar with long ago.)

Jing Yuan finds himself almost eager to learn. 

[cloudysunflowr]

What would any of the characters in your Deity AU do if they found someone being injured in their Temple? Also have you posted all of the reference pics of all the characters in your Deity AU?

Kind of depends on the deity and context but this is assuming someone is hurting a follower of their in the temple—

Sally would take IMMENSE disrespect and release her wrath onto whomever dared doing such a thing on her sacred grounds. Not really about the follower, moreso of sullying her grounds, how dare!

Julie would curse them with horrendous harvest if she notices.

Poppy would take her warm from them, leaving them cold. So cold even if they were to burn in lava if she notices.

Wally… would probably not notice. If he does, then he’d send storms to destroy their livestock.

Eddie hardly has temples so he probably wont do anything and he really wouldnt notice and most times would be too busy anyways.

Frank would help the victim strategies out of the situation or for revenge, often ending in killing.

Barnaby would sick dogs on them to kill or turn them into prey.

Howdy would strike lightning down near or on them if he notices.

Home def wont notice cause most of their temples are desolate as a retired deity.

These might change but this is how I see it as of now :oD

And shockingly! I have not! I checked and its nowhere :o0

Here they are! They are rather old drawings but its what I use for them ^^

I dont know if you also wanted my ocs too since they are in the story so I decided not to add them just in case ><

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Our children yearn for violence

Barbie dolls: jegulus x reader (James, regulus, you)

Words: 3.6k ish

Summary: the school calls you in bc your son got into an altercation what happens when the other kids' parents are hot

Warnings: your son is named Elliot, also you're referred to as Ren and Rena like the gn term for your parent so just yk it's not an oc i promise, you're a highschool art teacher, pushing the trans James agenda, misgendering James from the principal, honestly you pour coffee all over the principal and I'm pretty sure that's assault so just yk, no consequences very fictional world, condoning violence, abortion mentioned, James is a baker and regulus is a stay at home dad/writer just so you know, modern au I'm SORRY, Lily has a wife but she isn't here Lily is just mentioned, actually kinda unwarranted meanness toward the principal but yk whatevs, kinda extremely fanficy if that makes sense but let's just close our eyes and laugh along okay, that's all I think man

Your son, Elliot, was quite kind. You weren't one to toot your own horn, but he was a pretty well raised 6 year old. He was more introverted so when he came home telling you all about his new friends you were very proud of him. He loved Lightning McQueen and he was absolutely giddy to tell you his new friend, Harry, had a Lightning McQueen backpack. And his other friend, Luna, loved Tinkerbell almost as much as he did. Elliot loved art too, he took after you in that field. You were a high school art teacher. Luckily for you the same bus that picked up the first graders for his school, also picked up from your high school. Elliot would ride the bus and after dropping off all the other students the bus-driver would  drop him off at the high school. Elliot would spend the last few minutes of the school day with your last class. They loved him, they thought he was adorable. They often made him little cards or gave him candy. Elliot was the best and nicest, if you do say so yourself, first grader you ever met.

When his school called you in the middle of your class, telling you he got into an altercation, you were shocked. You sent your class over to classroom next door, another art teacher who gladly helped you. Then you quickly gathered your things and got to the Elementary school as fast as you could. You spoke to the front desk. They pointed you down a hallway. If you were a third grader, you'd be scared shitless walking down this hallway.

Finally at the end of the row was your son. He was in a short sleeve plain red shirt and his favorite pair of shorts that has a little lightning bolt towards the bottom. Elliot's backpack was sitting next to him on the floor. He was digging his hand into a little ziploc bag of pretzels, a ziploc bag you didn't remember putting in his lunchbox. Elliot glanced up when he heard you approaching. He memorized the sound of the keychains on your bag clinking, thinking of home. He smiled brightly, and scooted out of his chair. He ran towards you, latching onto your leg.

You saw a row of three chairs, each filled with a small child, sat next to a door. The door had a small sign that read 'Princapal' so you assumed it might be the principal's office.

The child closest the the door was a girl with curly white hair tied in two pigtails down by her ears. She was wearing a shirt with Tinkerbell on it and a bright pink tutu. Her tennis shoes looked to light up. Her backpack was sat next to her. It was green and had beautiful flowers embroidered on it. She had what looked to be a thousand keychains, all of which were characters to another children's show. She was snacking on a small ziploc bag of goldfish. Luna.

Next to her was a boy. He had glasses that looked to large for his face, and curly hair that looked tossled from what you assumed was the altercation you were called in for. He had on a Spider-Man shirt and jean overalls. One of the straps to the overalls was unhooked and thrown over his shoulder. His shoes were of Lightning McQueen, they looked to light up too. They matched his backpack. That must be Harry. He was snacking on a ziploc bag of cheezits.

"I missed you, Ren. Am I going to get kicked out of school?" Elliot mumbled against your leg. You squated down and clutched onto his hands. You pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"No, baby. Why did they call me? Are you okay?" Elliot nodded as you asked him questions, holding up his bag of pretzels.

"Luna's dad gave us snacks. I took the pretzels because the cheezits are white cheddar and Harry likes those the best. And Luna likes the pizza goldfish, but I don't because they don't taste like the good pizza. But look, Rena, these pretzels have butter inside." Elliot quickly pulled out a pretzel and bit into it, showing the inside to you. Sure enough the pretzel had the fake cheese filling inside.

"Oh yeah look at that it does have cheese inside." Ignoring the fact he called cheese butter, you looked around Elliot as he continued to tell you all about his snack. You noticed two men  standing next to another water fountain. One of them was holding a green lunchbox that looked eerily similar to Luna's backpack. The other was holding a matching Lightning McQueen backpack, Harry's dad. They looked as confused as you, talking to each other quietly so their kids couldn't hear them in the near empty hallway.

"Okay baby I'm going to go talk to your friends' parents,  you go back to your chair and keep working on those cheese pretzels for me." Elliot quickly nodded. You kissed his forehead before standing up. Elliot turned back to his row of friends and started talking to Harry. You headed toward the water fountain.

Luna's dad was dressed in all black, you were curious as to how he had such a colorful kid. He was in a black button down that was tucked into his black slacks. His shoes were shiny and they made you wonder if he just came from a board meeting or whatever people who don't spend their entire day listening to your mom jokes as they teach high schoolers how to weave do. His hair was black and curly and looked to be perfectly set in place.  The only pop of color was his nails, bright green and pink splattered on each finger. Luna's doing. If you weren't deeply worried for your son, you'd say he was hot.

Harry's dad, and you do mean this in the nicest most respectful way, was fucking jacked. He was just as attractive as Luna's dad. He was in jeans and red converse. He had on a t-shirt that had red text on it. It said 'Boys with Tits' and little stars printed around the text. You wondered how strong that cotton t-shirt was because the sleeves around his biceps and pecs looked tired. Holding on for dear life. Harry's dad had what looked to be flour smeared on his cheek. His hair was also curly and black but was much different from Luna's Dad's hair as it was more messy. He looked a lot like Harry. He even had on very similar glasses. On his own Lightning McQueen backpack, was what looked to be the same number of keychains as Luna's bag had. Although his had less children's shows. You spotted a trans flag and a raccoon eating a sandwich among them. You glanced down at your own appearance, realizing you most definitely looked like an art teacher. Your hands were covered in paint. You grimaced before shrugging. One of these men had bright pink and green splattered on the tips of his fingers and the other was holding a Lightning McQueen backpack, you doubted they would care much. When you finally reached them, they both looked away from the other to stare at you.

"Hi. I'm Elliot's Parent." You gave them a light wave, giving them your name as well. They both nodded.

"Hey. I'm Harry's dad, James." you smiled at him.

"I'm Luna's Dad, Regulus."

"Do you guys know what happpened? They just said altercation on the phone." Regulus shook his head at the question. James shrugged. At this point you honestly felt sympathy for his sleeves.

"Luna won't even tell me what happened. She's just been sadly eating her pizza goldfish." Regulus said, looking between you and James.

"Oh yeah. Hey thanks for giving Elliot those pretzels. He thinks they're a hoot." Regulus shrugged at you.

"Luna's the one sharing." James moved the subject back to the whole reason you three were here.

"I asked Harry what happened and he told me 'name calling' and then continued with his cheezeits. So that's all I have." James explained. You thought you might be putting the pieces together now. Yes, Elliot was a kind boy but he was also loyal to a fault. You were both the type to self sacrifice in the name of love. You'd kill someone for Elliot and any one of your friends. Elliot does take after you in a lot of areas...

"Okay well I only see three children, they all seem to still be friends so who were they fighting?" You asked. There wasn't even another backpack sitting near the chairs. From what you spied in window to the principals office, the only person in there was the principal herself.

"Do you think our kids would actually get into a fight?" James asked. You and Regulus glanced at each other.

"Yes." You said in sync. You glanced back at Elliot. He had finished his snack and pulled out his Lighting McQueen picture book, showing Harry all the pages. Sweet boy, but also a tad rabid. You wouldn't be shocked if the principal told you he bit somebody.

"Luna's lovely don't get me wrong, but her favorite uncle has had to pay for a lot of bail." Regulus said, zipping open Luna's lunchbox. He peered in there. You wondered if he was looking for a shank she made during her art class. James huffed.

"If this is some stupid bullshit, I think I'll riot." James whispered.

"That's something Barty would say." Regulus muttered, stuffing his hand into Luna's lunchbox.

"Listen, I'm sure we're all just a little peaved because it's our kids, but surely this is something serious that truely needs me to leave 17 high schoolers alone with another teacher." James and Regulus gave you a knowing look. "Okay so I'm lying." Regulus pulled out a bag of apple slices. He held them up above his head and leaned to look around you.

"Lue, I'm stealing your apples. Is that okay with you?" Regulus yelled down the short hallway. Luna looked up from making her goldfish swim in the air, to look at Regulus. She nodded and held up a thumbs up. Regulus zipped her lunchbox again and pulled open the bag of apples.

"So what if they threw a couple punches, I taught Harry that we don't start fights, we end them." James explained. Regulus nodded as he bit into an apple. You huffed.

"I'm pretty sure I taught Elliot the difference between oil and acrylic. I'm honestly shocked he even knows the word fight." You felt a little behind on your parenting. Regulus set down Luna's lunchbox by his feet.

"Well to be perfectly honest, I am not shocked that Luna got into a fight. Her mother was, in the best way, fucking rabid. Love her to death, literally, but she got into a good number of fights while we were school." Regulus said. He chuckled after he said 'to death'. You kinda felt like he kept making inside jokes but he was the only one in on them. James nodded along.

"High school sweat hearts?" James asked, giving Regulus an understanding look.

"No," Regulus laughed as he bit into another apple. "Hell no. Um I knew her mother in high school. We were really close. She passed and I adopted Luna." You and James both let out sad ohs. Regulus didn't seemed bothered by it at all though, continuing to much on his apple slices.

"Well me and Harry's mum were high school sweethearts. After Harry was born though, we got divorced. His mum and her wife are both stuck at work so that's why they aren't here." James said, filling the awkward silence. You nodded.

"Really glad we're spending this time trauma dumping." You joked. Regulus snorted and held an apple slice out towards you. You great-fully took it as Regulus held one out towards James too.

"What is the Principal doing in there? Feeding her hostages?" James muttered not even a breath later he was following up his comment. "Sorry, that was mean." You and Regulus both laughed, looking at each other to make sure someone else thought it was funny, too. With that the door to her office opened, the Principal's head popping out.

"Sorry for the wait." She said, holding the door open.

The Prinicple would be terrifying to any first grader. She was in a perfectly pressed suit. Her perfectionism rivaling Regulus'. Her hair was back in an extremely slick bun and you questioning whether or not her name was Trunchbull. She sat down in the chair behind her desk, turning to her computer and typing away. She listed off each of your names, started with what you assumed was James' last name as he nodded at her and ending with yours.

"You should be." Regulus muttered before plastering a smile on and helping Luna out of her chair, shooing her into the office. James carried Harry's bag for him as they entered the office. The principal grimaced at James as he entered.

Elliot took his time, gently putting his book back into his backpack. You smiled at the care he took with his favorite book. Then he scooted out of his chair and pulled his arms through the straps. Elliot clutched onto your hand, as you walked him through the office door. There were three chairs sat in front of the Principal's desk. James was sat with Harry in his lap, James' arm crossed over his stomach. Regulus was sat similarly, Luna deciding not to face the Principals and instead sitting sideways in Regulus' lap. You sat in the chair in between Regulus and James. Elliot hopped up into your lap, placing his backpack next to you. He leaned back against you and held onto both your hands. You were pretty sure he was scared shitless, but you completely understood.

"Today your children got into a fist fight with another student. We do not accept bullying of any forms here so we will-" Regulus cut off the principal, pausing from digging into his bag of apples.

"Well what caused the fight?" Regulus asked. The Principal stayed silent for a moment before continuing.

"What started the fight does not matter. What matters is that your three children ganged up on one student, and beat him. We do not accept physical-" It was James' turn to cut her off this time.

"Well who swung first?" The principal clenched her jaw. She glared at James. Harry took it upon himself to answer for her.

"Charles did." Harry said as he swung his feet back and forth in his father's lap. James hummed.

"So you didn't start it?" James asked. Harry shook his head.

"One could say that he didn't start it but he did finish it." Regulus muttered chomping into an apple. You stuck your hand out to him. Regulus dropped a slice from the bag into your hand.

"Listen, if you three would please let me finish-" The principle started.

"Actually I have a question for you, Mrs. Principle. I didn't have time to learn your name, I was quite busy with my job," James snorted at you. "I was wondering, what happened before the fight? What triggered it to start? I am quite confident that my son wouldn't just beat some other kid up for fun. At least not unwarrantedly." Regulus nodded at you. Luna wouldn't kick somebody in shin just for breathing wrong, well actually.

"Again that does not matter-" Harry took over the principal's speaking time yet again to answer the question himself.

"Charles called Luna a bitch." Harry said, matter of factly. Regulus scoffed and James leaned down to ask Harry if he was serious.

"Yeah he did, so I called him a bootlicking, slimy, vomit inducing, retched, failed abortion." Luna said. You glanced over at her. It was actually the first time you heard her speak. You felt a small smile grow, understanding what Regulus said in the hallway earlier. Regulus was smiling brightly. He held his hand out in front of her. Luna slapped her hand in his, giving Regulus a loud high five.

"Then Charles said she was a dumb idiot." Harry explained, still swinging his feet back and forth. "Then Elliot said something, I don't 'member but it pissed Charles off so he punched Luna in the arm." Harry continued. You looked down at Elliot.

"I told him the only time anyone will ever love him is if he was cremated and turned into a diamond." Elliot whispered. You laughed. Elliot looked up at you, a small smile growing on his face. You gently kissed his on his forehead.

"Oh I love you, you know that Elliot?" Elliot nodded and looked back to the empty Ziploc bag he was tearing holes in.

"I would greatly appreciate it if you three would take this seriously, this is no laughing matter. " The principal said, clenching her jaw.

"Well I would greatly appreciate it if you took this seriously. A boy called this girl a bitch and then punched her and yet we're the ones who had to leave work to meet with you. It seems to me that these kids were just defending themselves. I think you just grabbed the nearest kids and blamed them. Luna didn't do anything she's the victim. Elliot and James were just protecting their friend. Sure maybe they should've gone easy on him the failed abortion comment would've been just enough but-"

"Your children broke a boy's nose."

"Well, maybe he should've kept his mouth shut." Regulus said, sitting up in his chair.

"I think he'll be too busy breathing out of it to call anyone else names, now." James said, setting Harry on his feet. James stood and swung his backpack over his shoulder before holding out Harry's.

"Ms. Potter we are not done here." The prinipal said.

"Seems to me we are, see you Monday." James said. Luna took that sign and hopped off Regulus' lap, pulling her own bag on.

"Well Ms. Potter I do hope over the weekend you find a new shirt, along with new manners." The principal said. You stood up, letting Elliot run out the door after Harry and Luna.

"Well Mrs. Principal I do hope you learn how to shut your mouth on matters that don't concern you, you foul, lothesome, grimy, bottoming-feeding, transphobe. Enjoy your night." You said. You reached over her desk and knocked her mug over. Her coffee spilled over the papers on her desk dripping into her lap. You assumed it was cold by now because she just clenched her jaw.  You gave her a bright smile and left out the office door. Regulus and James shared a look before following. You three lead your children out of the school building and stopped on the steps. The three kids ran off towards the nearby tree, attempting to climb it.

"We are probably going to have to enroll our kids somewhere else, huh?" You asked. James shook his head.

"No, schools almost out and luckily for us she's actually transferring in about a month anyways." James explained. Regulus nodded, setting Luna's bag down.

"I do mean this in the most respectful way, but that was extremely attractive." Regulus said. You heard Elliot laugh over in the tree at something Luna said. James nodded at Regulus.

"Oh yeah extremely Pilf-y." James grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Regulus turned to him with a confused look.

"Public Interest Legal Foundation?" Regulus asked. James, smile fell.

"No, Parent I'd Love to Fuck. Like milf or dilf." Regulus laughed and reached out for James. He gripped onto James' bicep as he laughed. You started chuckling along with him, his laughter very contagious. Regulus wiped at his eyes and he stood again.

"Oh that was good, James."

"I don't think it was that funny." James muttered. You shrugged.

"I thought it was good." Regulus sighed and straightened his back.

"So our kids beat another kid up." He said. You nodded. You glanced over at Harry and Luna helping Elliot climb up.

"Your kid has a filthy mouth Regulus, if she said that to me I think I'd cry." James said, nudging Regulus with his elbow. Regulus smiled proudly.

"I know, right? What a psycho first grader." Regulus said. His chest seemed to puff out a little more.

"Where did she even learn half those words?" You asked. Regulus' face fell as he stared at you with serious eyes.

"Her uncle." You and James shared a look.

"well Elliot isn't innocent either, that diamond comment was wild." James said, jumping topics. You nodded.

"I'm extremely proud of my son, I personally think they derseve some ice cream, what do you guys think?" You asked. They both looked at each other.

"Sounds good to me." Regulus muttered, Pulling Luna's bag over his shoulder.

"They'll have napkins there so I can give you guys my number." James said, winking at you both. You chuckled.

"Ah ha yeah that was smooth, James. Good one." You complimented.

"Yeah I thought so." James said, turning towards the tree and calling the kids down. You looked to Regulus.

"Oh by the way I love Luna's bag it's so pretty." You said. Regulus' ears turned red. He glanced down at his shoes before looking back up at you.

"Thanks. I actually made it for her." You gave him a shocked look.

"Did you really?" Regulus nodded. "Well you're extremely talented Regulus." Soon enough all six of you were in an ice cream shop. The kids were giddy. They were getting sticky ice cream all over their faces and hands, but it didn't matter. This was a celebration. you spent the time laughing along with James and Regulus. When the kids finally finished their ice cream James stayed true to his word and gave you both his number. He made a group chat before you even left the parking lot, starting up a conversation about a date.

part two

[pengweng-quack]

Bloodbound

Carlisle Cullen x Human!OC

Summary: Place Carlisle in the Edward situation of falling in love with a human, and see what happens

Chapter 1/?

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Notes:

The only thing that took so long about this is the title because fuck titles (genuinely)

This is on Ao3 under the same title and username if you'd like to read it there (https://archiveofourown.org/works/54527830)

Probably would be my last (long) twilight post in a while since I've lost interest in the series for a while (give it like 3 weeks before I regain it lmao)

Posting (just like before) is random lol, hope you guys enjoy this story

Much much longer than Being a Witch with Vampires by the way, so we're in a long ride (or you are, because I already know the story)

Word Count: 2294 words

General warning: I used some religious references in this story so read with caution if you're not so keen into reading that

TW for this chapter: None

PM or Comment to be added on the taglist for this one!

Masterlist

A full year had passed since the Cullens returned to Forks, now acting as grownups instead of some teenager studying in Forks high school, minus Renesmee, to her dismay. Carlisle received a warm welcome back to the hospital, where he encountered new faces introduced to him since his departure.

“Good morning Doctor Cullen.” A nurse with red hair greeted politely to him, he was around his height and had brown eyes, a face that he doesn’t remember during his time there

“I’m nurse Sean, not the chief nurse but I think Eunice is getting her out now.” Sean informed him “You’ll like her I think, she’s professional as fuck.”

A girl with her chestnut hair tied up in a bun walked out of a room. At that moment, all Carlisle could think about was how captivating the woman was, everything about her screamed authority, he knew then and there that she was the chief nurse.

Time felt like it slowed down when they locked eyes, this woman has plagued over his mind. Carlisle subtly admired her face, she had eyes that matched the shade of her hair and pale pink lips that complimented her fair complexions.

“Celine Wright, chief nurse here.” Celine introduced herself with a prim and proper tone. She offered her hand in a handshake and Carlisle accepted it, feeling the warmth of her hand against the coldness of his

“Carlisle Cullen, former chief doctor here.” Carlisle introduced back, pulling his hand away from the handshake “Pleasure to meet you.”

From the stories that Carlisle has heard, Celine was 25 years old when she assumed the position and has demonstrated remarkable competence, excelling in her role for a year prior his return with unparalleled precision and skill.

But it was distracting him, she was distracting him. Despite her undeniable competence, it was her blood that proved to be the real challenge for Carlisle. The tantalizing scent of it often left Carlisle struggling to focus, forcing him to endure long stretches without breathing just to filter out the temptation.

But even after leaving work, her scent lingered in his mind, infiltrating every aspect of his life. Something as harmless as a report file with a hint of her scent could drive him to the brink of madness.

It’s been a year since Carlisle has been working with Celine, a year of extreme caution over his thirst. He was always making sure that he was fed before going to the hospital, making sure that there was always some distance between them. However, as the chief nurse, their interactions were inevitable, presenting a constant challenge to Carlisle's restraint.

It also didn’t help that Celine’s kind and caring nature was growing on him in ways that he didn’t expect that it’ll do so. Her smile became a source of motivation for him, brightening his day with a single glance. He found himself instinctively seeking her out upon arriving at work, drawn to her presence like a magnet.

Celine was growing on him, as a person, as a friend, as someone that he wishes he could pursue openly.

“She’s your blood singer and mate.” Edward concluded, having experienced a similar scenario before “You’re dealing with what I’ve dealt with when Bella was still human.”

“Great,” Rosalie scoffed, crossing her arm “Another human.”

“Carlisle won’t pressure her into something that she doesn’t want to partake herself in.” Esme assured everyone

“We would never know if he doesn’t pursue her.” Alice said, holding on from having another vision whether Celine Wright was in their future or not

“Would we rob Carlisle a chance to finally be with his mate?” Edward argued to Rosalie

“Would you rob another girl’s humanity for an uncertainty?” Rosalie asked him back; the tension was growing between the two

“Enough with the arguing.” Carlisle said, a decision set in his head

“I’ve figured out that she’s my mate. But I will not pressure her into anything.” He stated at once to everyone that was listening to him “Nor will I pursue her whatsoever. Let the future play how it has planned to be. Alice, Edward, no attempting to manipulate it to one of your visions.”

Just in time, his alarm has rung, notifying him that he has a shift to get ready for. He bids his goodbye, going to his office to get ready.

He was painfully slow, questioning whether his choice was the right one, plagued by uncertainty and the fear of denying himself a chance at happiness.

But underneath his own desires was the concern for Celine's well-being. He couldn't bear the thought of forcing her into a life she didn't want, no matter how difficult it was for him to accept the possibility of letting her go.

“Are you sure of your decision?” Esme asked him, walking into his office “Do you really want to just give up like that already?”

“She deserves a long, happy life.” Carlisle spoke softly, grabbing his briefcase with all the reports that he’s brought home “Not be damned for eternity.”

“And if she asks for a long, happy life with you, then what?” Esme asked him, making Carlisle ponder at her question. She was right, what certainty did he have that Celine wouldn’t welcome this life?

‘The risk is too high.’ He thought to himself

He left without answering her question.

It was another late-night shift that Celine accepted. Having heard another alibi from one of her co-nurses. Lying and saying that “they have some important matters to deal with,” only to see them by the bar as she drives by, drunk beyond their capabilities.

‘I have nothing to do anyways, so why not just earn more so I could leave this shitty town.’ She always used that to convince herself

In all honesty, Celine's financial status was not a factor in her decision. She had inherited a comfortable sum from when her parents died, ensuring that she was shielded from any financial struggles. But she’s heard that Doctor Cullen always took a night shift, working perfectly for their family’s set up of needing someone to be at home at all times.

What’s wrong if she was to indulge herself and the tiny crush that she had for him? After all, he wasn't married, a fact his hand had subtly conveyed to her.

“Nurse Celine, good to see you…again.” Carlisle greeted, walking in her office (which technically, is his office too) with a disposable cup of coffee “I thought your shift was over?”

“Yeah, Nurse Alex had to bail, said something along the lines of dealing with some personal stuff.” Celine answered “Made sure to give him the morning shift though, just as some sort of revenge.”

“I do not condone that behavior, but frankly, I would say that you deserve the rest.” Carlisle said, sitting next to her. It was dangerous, he knew. But he didn’t want to leave her alone.

“It’s a slow night.” Celine reported “Just one rush to the E.R. thinking that they were dying because of some spots they saw on their face. After doing some checking on it, it was just some questionably large pimples. Scary? Yes. But not fatal.”

“At least it has been slow so you won’t tire yourself too much.” Carlisle said, pushing the coffee near her

“Why don’t you just say to your sister that you don’t actually enjoy the coffee she makes? It just feels like a waste, giving away your coffee every time.” Celine asked, accepting the cup and drinking it

Carlisle was asked by Celine one time why he wasn’t drinking the coffee that he had, noticing that the cup was left untouched until he throws it away just after his shift. In panic, he fabricated a story, claiming that his sister Esme, who worked night shifts at her own job, often made coffee for herself and would give the extras to him.

He had offered it to her then, hoping that the coffee Esme made because she has missed the aroma of coffee was in Celine’s taste. Celine didn’t answer that time if she had enjoyed the coffee or not, but every time he would offer her the coffee, she would accept it.

This silent acceptance fueled Carlisle's hope that perhaps, in some small way, they were connecting through these shared moments over coffee.

From then, he asked Esme about the recipe and continued to make it from the comfort of his car before he walked in the hospital, using the coffee as a conversation starter, a way to engage with her, hoping to deepen their connection through these small interactions.

“You enjoy it.” Carlisle answered almost immediately. Celine looked at him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion

“I mean, she always makes it at night for her work. Offers some to me, even though I don’t drink coffee, I’m just too shy to not accept it. And besides, you deserve some coffee yourself too.” Carlisle explained further, giving Celine the satisfaction of getting an answer

“Thanks. I owe you one.” Celine said, lifting the coffee and drinking some more of it “How do you even get the energy to do night shifts? Ever since you got here, you’ve like made it your thing to be the one for night shifts.”

“I sleep in the morning.” Carlisle answered, having prepared an alibi for when that question inevitably gets asked to him “Did kind of take a toll on my social life though, I’ll tell you. But I have accepted this way when I decided to step into the field of medicine.”

“Really?” Celine asked, piqued with how he was opening up “Why prefer night shift then? You could easily be transferred to morning shift if you’d just ask.”

“I prefer it this way.” Carlisle answered, Celine pondered if someone has asked him this question before “Besides, who will give you your daily coffee if I don’t join you with the night shifts?”

“I can get myself coffee, thank you very much.” Celine answered, fake insult in her tone and playfully rolling her eyes at him

“I know you can, I do enjoy it just as much to be the one to give you your coffees.” Carlisle said, a smile on his face

‘He looked like a Ken doll.’ She thought, looking at Carlisle and admiring his seemingly perfect features. His eyes was shining golden, a shade she never thought was possible for a human to have. The pale pink tint of his lips stirred a fleeting curiosity about their softness, though she quickly brushed aside any thoughts of how they might feel against her own.

“Some of the nurses are getting jealous, you should give them coffee sometimes.” Celine teased him. Carlisle looked at her, his eyebrows raised at her teasing. He did not want to give anyone else some sort of affection.

His undead heart was with hers before she even knew it.

“That’s if they’ll like 5 teaspoons of sugar and 3 teaspoons of creamer in their coffee.” Carlisle teased her back, watching as she finishes the coffee that he has prepared

“Well, anything that you would give to them, they’ll accept really.” She answered, before going back to reading some reports that the morning shift nurses has prepared for them

The night was long, the comforting silence joining them as they read through. Fortunately, there were no urgent emergencies demanding their attention. It wasn’t until Carlisle heard Celine stifle a yawn that made him check his watch, the small screen showing 8:17 AM.

“Shift over.” Carlisle announced, standing up and faking a stretch

He could have stayed there forever had she been able to do the same.

“Finally.” Celine mumbled, the aftermath of the coffee finally taking a toll on her as she slumps herself on the seat that she’s been on for the past 12 hours “So tired.”

“Need a ride home?” Carlisle asked, seeing that she wasn’t awake enough to go home on her own

Despite his declaration not to pursue Celine, Carlisle found himself engaging in behaviors that seemed to contradict his words. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was unintentionally leading her on, even though she hadn't explicitly expressed interest in him, neither through her words nor her body language.

“I’m fine, brought my car with me.” Celine murmured; her eyes closed as she rests her head on the chair “Just need a few minutes to close my eyes.”

“Okay then.” Carlisle answered, sitting down on the chair where he was sitting earlier, grabbing a bit more reports to read as he accompanies her

The few minutes became an hour. Then the hour became two hours. Carlisle then slowly realized that Celine was beginning to doze off in the chair she was sitting in. He looked at her with a small smile on his face.

He didn’t need to be a vampire or a doctor to know that she was in an uncomfortable position. Her whole torso was slouched down and her head was down, giving the look that she was uncomfortably bowing.

Carlisle moved his seat closer to hers, feeling the warmth of her arm against the coldness of his. With tender care, he lifted her head, cradling it on his shoulder. Though not as plush as a pillow, he knew it would be far more comfortable than where her head had previously rested.

As he sat there, Carlisle gazed at Celine, closing his eyes and synchronizing his faux breathing with hers, attuned to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

Carlisle knew that it was temptation, being this close to her. And a sin to indulge himself in such temptation. But if he was to be damned today, he would be happy to have indulged himself with the existence of Celine.

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Konig x Reader: I Don't Need You (Ch. 6)

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Summary: You (surprisingly) get more comfortable with Kortac, and slowly let yourself connect with the team. You subconsciously tether yourself to Konig, who is more than willing to help you fit in. The pain of the past begins to fade into the back of your mind like the end of a long chapter of your life.

Additionally, Konig starts asking the hard questions - it unearths a piece of you that you'd hoped would remain buried, but you still share the memories with Konig.

Chapter warnings: Mentions of violence, mentions of rape, cursing, google translate German, shirtless Soap, very EXTREMELY watered-down mentions of sexual themes (we ain't there yet, boiis)

Notes: Sorry it took so long, I've got a lot cooking in the kitchen now and I'm hoping to pump out a lot this week!

Additionally, I've had some comments on this work not being an x Reader. First off, I never want to mislead anyone. I label this as an x Reader because Bonnie is not an OC of mine. I've seen other x Reader fics include callsigns that refer to the reader, so I assumed using Bonnie similarly would be alright. I also mentioned a name ONCE in chapter 3, "Jane Morris," which I thought to be a very generic name, and I haven't used it since and don't plan to. I have a personal preference of writing longer, chapter-by-chapter fics in first POV because it feels more natural to me than second POV. The same goes for using y/n - I like to avoid it if I can because it feels unnatural.

Again, those last two thing are a personal preference. I'm not bashing any fics that use these things at all, I enjoy both ones that do and ones that don't, and I don't enjoy one over the other. When I say one feels more natural than the other, I mean it feels more natural to write, not to read. I'm debating changing the name I used in chapter 3 to just y/n l/n to make this a true x Reader. If you still feel like I should change this to an x OC please let me know and I'll be happy to adjust the tags, titles, and descriptions. Again, I never meant to be misleading, and I hope I didn't make anyone angry. If a mistake has been made I am happy to learn from it. Thanks!

Konig had cracked the code on me. He figured out that after a case of American beers and a long drive, away from the crowd of new faces, my outer shell began to soften.

There was still a wall that I was holding up between me and everyone else, even though it was significantly smaller than usual. When Roze and Castillo approached me at breakfast, I didn’t get up and leave. And when Juno used the empty spot in the gym room right next to me, dropping his bag on the floor and giving me a cautious glance as he set up for his routine - I didn’t grab my things and move to the other end of the room. That was my first instinct, but I fought it. Instead I huffed, facing the mirror in front of me and focusing on my sets.

I’d started going to the common area more often – maybe not every night, but often enough. We’d make it a habit to play poker on the nights I did show up. I was better than most of the group, since none of them were quite used to my mannerisms yet. However, Konig and Horangi still took the lead as the winners, despite most of us arguing that they shouldn’t be allowed to play if they were going to wear their masks. The argument would eventually turn into a casual conversation – I didn’t engage in it too often. I preferred to sit and listen, using the time to slowly learn more about the team. I typically planted myself between Roze and Konig, keeping my legs crossed on the seat and nervously fiddling with my Yuengling bottle.

Although I was ashamed to admit it, Konig had become a conduit for my interactions with the rest of the team. The way he engaged with their activities, yet still managed to stay reserved, struck a chord with me. I respected the fact that it could sometimes be difficult to find him on base, and that at the same time, he was always there when I started to feel overwhelmed. I didn’t need him, no… that was a stretch. But sometimes I felt grateful that he was so eager to accompany me places – especially when he invited me to go on “perimeter checks” with him, which mostly consisted of long drives off base.

I don’t know how I had grown to appreciate him so much – maybe it was because he felt similar to me, in the way that we both needed our alone time, and with how we often found ourselves slipping out of the common area around the same time, with the original excuse being that we were tired. Half of the time, we would sit in the mess hall and talk until the early hours of the morning.

“A sniper?” I asked on one particular night, fiddling with the mouth of my beer bottle. “You’re way to big for that – no offense.”

Konig chuckled. “And that’s what they initially told me.” He took a swig of his (nasty) German beer. “But, despite being handed other opportunities, I proved them wrong. I’m sill a damn good sniper.”

I huffed. “Nah, you should be happy you got promoted to Colonel; you’re lucky, you get to avoid being in the trenches – at least, as much as the rest of us.”

“Lucky? No…” Konig said, shaking his head. “I do not like being a Colonel. I’d much rather be doing the dirty work of soldiers than writing these stupid reports.” He slapped a large hand over the manilla folder that sat on the table next to his beer. “It keeps my head busy, and I don’t have to listen to myself think.”

I nodded while sipping my beer. “I completely get that – If I’m not actively doing something with my hands, my brain gets too loud. Like – like there’s a mini me in my head, and the only way to drown her out is by physically doing something. Anything, really.”

Konig laughed – almost a snort – “‘A mini you’. I like that, that’s good.”

I huffed a laugh through my nose, turning my head to hide the smirk on my face. Despite being a large, brutish man, he had a youthful essence about him. It was hidden deep beneath the thick exterior of a war-hardened soldier. But, every now and again, it rose to the surface, touching a part of my soul I hadn’t allowed to be seen in a long time.

I pushed my stack of bills into the middle of the table. “All in.” I said nonchalantly.

Gaz narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair and looking down his nose at me. “You’re bloody stupid…”

“Or really smart.” I retorted. I folded my arms over my chest, not wavering under his intimidating gaze.

It was unbearably hot in the room – whether that was from the tension of the game or the broken air conditioner (Price eternally insisted it would be fixed, “… by next week…”), I didn’t know. I was donned in my sweatpants and sports bra, Gaz was in a wife beater and sweats, Ghost was covered head to toe in a sweatshirt and jeans (one could ever rarely catch him wearing anything less), and Soap… well, Soap was Soap. Completely shirtless, with only a pair of gym shorts on. Typical for him to be so shameless.

Ghost looked at his cards, his jaw clearly tense underneath his mask. He wasn’t very good at hiding his unlucky hand – it was almost like he wasn’t even trying. Which was a possibility.

“Fucking hell… I fold.” He tossed his hand onto the table, revealing his sour bunch of cards. He walked to the fridge and cursed under his breath, rummaging through the contents.

“Jesus, you’re a load of dry shite.” Soap commented, leaning against the wall adjacent to Ghost. “You could’ve at least tried to intimidate ‘em.”

“You could try shutting your fucking mouth, alright?” Ghost snapped back. Soap raised his hands defensively, leaving Ghost by the fridge.

He flopped onto the couch near me and Gaz. “Miserable sap…”

I did my best to tune out their bickering. I stared down Gaz, tapping my fingers on the edges of my cards. I was relying on the river card – I had a chance at a four-of-a-kind, praying the last card on the table would be another seven.. It was risky, and Gaz was probably right in calling me stupid. But I was never one to back down from a challenge. I craved the thrill of it. Most of the time, I ended up getting lucky.

Gaz chewed his lip. He cocked an eyebrow, slowly pushing all of his cash to the middle of the table. “Call.” He said.

And I heard it – the telltale sign of his bluff. A fraction of a second where his voice had waivered, followed by him grinding his jaw. I knew I had it in the bag.

I was savoring the moment of triumph, watching Gaz stare at his cards, when I felt a hand on my back. I nearly spun around and yelled at whoever touched me, until I saw a gloved hand place a Yuengling bottle to my right, the lid already popped off. I faltered, staring at the bottle, feeling the hand on my back rubbing a thumb back and forth over my spine.

I glanced behind me, looking up to meet Ghost’s eyes. He was looking down at me with an empty gaze. His eyebrows twitched for a brief moment as he continued rubbing his thumb over the skin of my back.

I knew what he was suggesting. What he was asking. Put a woman on a compound with broken, touch-starved men, and eventually one of them will succumb to the temptation. Even so, I was shocked that it was Ghost. I would say he was showing a weakness here, no matter what he decided to call this – it was an admission that he needed something – something from me, specifically – which I never thought would happen.

He continued staring at me for another few moments, waiting for an answer. Keeping my eyes locked on him, I took the bottle and drank; my reply. He gave the tiniest nod, walking away and sitting down next to Soap – who was shuffling the remaining deck of cards, eyes narrowed at Gaz. He knew he was bluffing too.

I turned back to Gaz, smirking as he revealed the river card.

“You ever think about what you would say to those kids now?” I asked, tapping my beer bottle. “The ones who bullied you.”

Konig hummed. “Mm… not really. I don’t hold too much resentment.”

I chuckled. “If only we could all be a saint.”

“Well, it all happened so long ago.” Konig tried to justify himself. “We were only kids, bored and trying to stay on the surface. They just wanted to look tough so that no one would pick on them. Of course, I wouldn’t understand that as a kid. Maybe then, I would have admired what I’ve become, and I would have wanted to boast about it. But now that I am a Colonel – Ich habe besseres zu tun.”

I sarcastically rolled my eyes. “And that means?”

“Ehh…” he groaned, squinting his eyes. “How is it said… ‘I have bigger fishes to cook.’”

I sputtered, turning my head and laughing. Konig glared at me. “Gibt es ein Problem?” he asked, which I sort of understood. He sounded irritated, that much I could tell.

“No, Konig…” I said, standing up and giving him a pat on the shoulder as I walked by. “Just keep up the English lessons, ok?”

He scowled. “Verpiss dich… Start learning German and maybe I will.” He retorted, and I waved at him dismissively from behind my back.

I stuck my head into the fridge, grabbing a Yuengling and one of Konig’s beers. I walked back and placed them both next to him. Like instinct, he took each one and hooked their lid onto the edge of the table, then smacked the side of his hand down on the tops, sending the lid clattering to the ground. He opened my beer and handed it to me, then repeated the process with his, before reaching down and collecting the lids. He added them to the pile, totaling six beer lids so far.

If someone had shown me this image a year ago – Konig and I, sitting up late into the night, chatting like we’d known each other for decades… not to mention the fact that I was so unusually open with him… I would have been insulted. I would have laughed. No one would have been able to convince me that I would become so attached to anyone else after what had happened with the 141. Yet, all of this felt so natural. It was beyond how I felt that Konig and I were kindred spirits… it really did feel like I’d known him before. Maybe, he reminded me of a part of myself that I tried to bury away.

Or, maybe, I was just submitting to loneliness and trying to justify how quickly I clung to the first available soul. That was also an embarrassing possibility, one that I would rather not admit to.

“I have a question for you.” Konig’s voice and the clink of his beer bottle on the table brought me back to reality.

“I might have an answer.” I replied.

He looked off to the side, perhaps wondering whether or not he really wanted to ask the question. “Who did you kill? And why?”

Just like that, I felt the walls being built right back to where I had them. Bonding time’s over. Back to square one.

His inquiry caught me off guard. I froze, my bottle hovering in the air before I could take a sip, my eyes glued to the table. Just the mention of the incident brought the painful memories up to the surface, like claws scraping at the dirt, digging up the deepest roots.

“Lots of people.” I said, deflecting. I took a swig of my beer.

“You know what I mean.” He scoffed. “Why did you end up in military prison?” He leaned over the table – clearly not planning on letting the topic go.

I sucked my teeth, staring at him defiantly – moments ago, it was pleasant talking to him. Now, I was fighting back the urge to leave him at the table and go to my dorm. I felt ambushed at how he had changed the subject so abruptly. Like he had been waiting for me to carelessly stumble into the trap, and now he was watching me snarl from within it.

He leaned back with a sigh. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I just thought we were getting somewhere here.”

“Oh?” I said dryly, cocking an eyebrow. “’Getting somewhere?’ What’s that sup-“

“Hey, it’s ok.” He raised his hands defensively. “I get it. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” His words were forgiving, but his eyes said something else – I knew what he was thinking.

Weak.

I gave him a hateful stare. Fucker know how to play his cards.

“I killed a sergeant.” I admitted. “My lieutenant’s right-hand man.”

That got Konig’s attention. He leaned forward again, putting his bottle off to the side. “Why?” he asked again.

I inhaled deeply, then exhaled, as I leaned back in my chair. My eyes fell to the floor as I forced myself to recall the memories. “In Egypt, a while back. Don’t ask when because I won’t tell you.” I warned Konig, and he huffed – but obliged.

I continued. “We were going in to retrieve a hostile target. Everyone was jumpy – me included. It was dark, and we didn’t know what to expect. After the hostiles started to engage, we were scattered. I got stuck in one tower, so I went upstairs to try and make a foxhole.”

I paused. It was now my own hands, covered in dirt, clawing at the roots of the memory. Each word I said was painful, yet somehow felt overshared. Like I was trying to get Konig to pity me. Except I wasn’t – I just wanted him to listen.

And that’s exactly what he did. No comforting shoulder pat, no soothing words… he just listened. He knew that if he stepped on the wrong spot, it would break my openness, like a branch breaking under his foot would disturb the silence of the woods.

“The sergeant – ‘Flare’ – he was up there, too. I thought we’d had the same idea, but… holy fuck…” I ran a hand down my face, feeling my heartbeat grow faster. “At first, I didn’t know what he was doing, I just heard him making those sounds and I thought he’d been hit, but… he was taking advantage of this – this woman – and with her kids right fucking there… she was probably just trying to hide, to hide them, she had to be so fucking scared… he didn’t even stop when I found him, I don’t know if he even heard me screaming at him.”

I paused, almost waiting for Konig to say or do something, but he remained silent. Despite my eyes never leaving the floor, I could see his blue ones watching me carefully. Concerned, patient, and calm.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” I said, my voice faltering the slightest bit. “So I shot him. In the head.” I unintentionally shivered. “Probably traumatized that poor woman and her kids, but… quick decisions aren’t the best ones.”

I ended my rant with a heavy sip of my beer. Konig continued watching me with wary eyes, which I ignored. I didn’t need consolation, or sympathy, or whatever he might try to offer. Somehow, he seemed to understand that.

“I would have done the same thing.” He commented.

Would you?

After a moment, he exhaled. “I don’t understand… I’d say you were in the right. Why did they put you in prison for that?”

I chewed my lip. “There was… some speculation, that I was jealous of his position. We’d been close throughout my time with the team, and when he got the promotion to second-in-command, I was a bit envious at first. People thought I was taking my anger out on him in what seemed like the perfect opportunity to lie.” I took another sip. “But I was happy for him. He worked hard, and he deserved it. But then the pressure got to him – Lieutenant was always depending on him for too much, and Flare couldn’t handle the responsibility. If he slipped up, it was a lot worse than if one of the rest of us did. I guess… the pressure is what got him in the end. Made him crazy in the end. He didn’t have any morals anymore.”

More silence. It felt uncomfortably loud – Konig’s stare seemed to make my head ring, making me fidget and bounce my knee. I wanted to snap at him. What are you looking at? Why are you asking so many fucking questions? But I was able to keep my anger at bay, justifying the situation by assuming his questions were fueled by nothing more than curiosity.

I figured I had said enough for the night, and finished off the rest of my beer. I slapped my leg, the telltale sign that I was getting ready to turn in.

Konig ignored it, or seemed to not notice. “Why did you kill him?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. “Why did I? What do you mean?”

“Why kill him? Why not just… disable him for the moment, and let your commander deal with him later?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice was a second too late. “Again… in the heat of the moment, you don’t make distinctions like that. You think: ‘shoot,’ or ‘don’t shoot.’ And shooting him was the choice I made.”

Konig’s gaze became scrutinous. He knew I was lying about something… he was hellbent on figuring out what.

He’s going to have to wait a long damn time.

“Goodnight, Konig.” I said flatly. I collected my bottles, getting up from the table. With a clang, I tossed them into the bin by the exit, walking down the hall and leaving Konig sitting alone in the mess hall. I feel tears stinging my eyes, but that’s all they did. It’s all just water under the bridge, y/n. Get it together. You’re alright.

-----

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix

[soobrat]

fuck up my life; hjs

milestone celebration masterlist

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ pairing; han jisung x afab!reader

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ words; 14.8k

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ genre; angst, smut, fluff

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ warnings; descriptions of pain inflicted by extreme cold, SLOOOOW burn, mentions of extramarital affairs, cunnilingus, PIV, passionate sex, multiple reader orgasms, unprotected sex (leave me alone)

↻ ◁ || ▷ : Two things: my insistence on using Loona members means there is a character named Hyunjin in a skz fic who isn't skz Hyunjin. I was going to change it but I feel like it's not that hard. She's a girl, she's not Hwang Hyunjin, it's that simple Also, this is a fic that references a real place with a real culture and real people. NOTHING I write in this fic reflects how I feel about the people who live in Jeju or how Jeju actually is. It is COMPLETELY fictional and had nothing to do with anything I've witnessed about Jeju. (and yeah I changed up the little banner, I liked the idea of a little moodboard.)

act iii ➻ run

Winter 2025

“To the bride!” 

To say the group sat in front of Jisung were rowdy would be an understatement. They shout and laugh, effusing over the lucky couple’s merriment. Your husband looks to you, drowning in layers of white fabric, and raises his glass. The group doesn’t even try to be contained to their booth, spilling out of their seats onto the floor only to pile back up into the booth again. A waitress comes over and stammers a request for you guys to pipe down. None of you listen, in fact, you look over at the waitress with a twinkle in your eye as you gather her hands to her confusion.

“I’m a married woman now.” You say dreamily. As the cheering from your crowd gets louder, the waitress retracts her hands and retreats through an “Employees Only” door. Jisung clenches his glass, his eyes dead set on your figure. What he did to Jiwoo was for her sake, but it was also for you. Yet here you are. You’d rather traumatize yet another sad sap than just wait for him. Jisung is flogged with bitterness against his better judgment. He should know better than to accept this as reality, but his heart won’t listen to his head.

“We’re going to have to ask you all to leave.” A man speaks to Jisung’s right. He keeps his eyes on you. 

“Seriously?! It’s my wedding day!” You cry out, hoping the manager or whoever will understand how much heartbreak he’s causing you. 

“You guys are disrupting the other patrons. If you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police.” The man remains calm, even offering these punks courtesy by lowering his voice. Jisung’s eyelids twitch, his eyes burning with his insistence to keep them on you.

“Sir, have you never had fun? Let loose? Sometimes rules are stifling, you know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right people to–”

The glass he’s been clenching is launched to the ground before the motion is even registered in his mind. Red drains from his vision as in one swing, all his frustration is emptied. He assumes everyone is looking at him, but he only sees you. Or… not you.

The woman looks shocked, a little scared. Suddenly not so enthused about her rowdy marriage celebration. Jisung is finally unclenched from his fixation, looking around the room at the confused and shocked faces. His hand dives into his pockets, pulling a couple withered bills coated in something. He drops them on the table haphazardly, rushing from his table and out of the door.

He slides in his car and slams the door shut. Heaving, he settles back into his chair. He knew that wasn’t you. He does this every fucking time. He swallows hard, his hands clumsily jam the key into the ignition.

He pulls into the complex’s parking lot and opens the sun visor. His key ring drops into his lap but his attention lingers on his reflection and what the couple and their group must’ve seen. His patchy facial hair, the turbulent mop on his head, eyes red with irritation surrounded by dark circles. Not much has changed, he thinks, despite a year passing.

Spring 2024

“What was the occasion?” The consignment shop owner asks absentmindedly, glancing at Jisung after he doesn’t get an answer. Jisung gapes at him, brushing his sweaty palms off on his pants. 

“A lot of men sell their suits after their weddings,” he starts again, rubbing the material of the suit between his fingers, “women are a little more sentimental about this stuff–”

“How much? Um, h-how much for it?” Jisung interrupts the owner’s chuckling. The owner looks up again, this time he seems to take in Jisung’s disheveled appearance and his agitated state. He doesn’t comment on the obvious, just offers Jisung a tight smile.

“This was tailored to you, correct?”

Jisung exhales tightly, rubbing his forehead. He didn’t even think about that. “Yeah, but–”

“Then I’m sorry, it’ll slice the price down.”

Jisung lets out a heavy sigh, the stress making him want to lay on the floor and yell. 

“I think… maybe around one thousand.”

“One thousand?” Jisung’s mood immediately flips. Both men look at each other, puzzled. 

“This is designer, right? Cucinelli?” The owner asks like he’s confused why he even has to.

“I-I don’t…” He didn’t buy it. His father in law did. “I’ll take it.”

The owner beams, looking happy to have such a nice piece for sale. “Would you like it in cash?”

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

He counts the cash as he thinks over his plan once more. He has more than enough for the ticket. When he gets there… maybe he’ll stay at a motel? Is it a walkable city? He can hear Jiwoo now, scolding him for not planning this out. He could have gone about this all in a different way. It doesn’t matter. And Jiwoo… she’ll be hurt now, but she’ll be better off this way. And he’ll figure it out. He has to.

“Next!” 

Jisung’s eyes dart up to the person behind the desk before gathering his cash. “Yes um, one way to… Jeju?”

“Sir. The next train from here to Jeju doesn’t come until tomorrow.” She responds in vexed monotone. The look on the employee’s face expresses exactly what Jisung is thinking. But wondering why he didn’t look this up beforehand won’t change the fact that he still has to wait. 

“O-of course! I’ll um…” Jisung gives up on trying to look less stupid and skitters away. As he shuts the door to his motel room behind him, a strong fear that he’ll be staying there forever crops up. He shakes it away for now. He can’t think that way for the sake of his sanity. 

The next morning he comes back to the train station with his tail tucked between his legs. 

“The next train will come at noon.” This employee was much more chipper as she delivered bad news. Jisung sighs, having gotten up at 6 am for no reason. It’s not like he was sleeping much anyway. He can brazenly blame his lack of sleep for his lack of preparation yet again, but the twisting in his stomach didn’t lie. He sits on the many wooden benches that resembled pews in the waiting area. Even sitting on them was eerily familiar. His body curves over, making it harder for his older self like always with the way he contorts his spine. Before he can examine his watch, he catches a glimpse of his warped appearance around the metal frame. It holds him, the warping doing nothing to hide how tired he looked. He’ll have to shave soon. Does he have a razor?

He’s ruining his life.

The thought booms, shaking him. Jisung bites down hard on his lip. No matter how much he tries to distract himself, the feeling won’t go away. 

“Train to Daegu?” A worker taps Jisung’s shoulder and jolts him awake. Jisung makes groggy noises, frazzled as he glances around before shaking his head. “If you’re taking the train to Daegu, start heading to track seven now!” The worker yells as he walks past the benches. Jisung hadn’t even noticed himself go to sleep.

He glances at his watch again. 10:35. Great. He readjusts against the solid wood before crossing his arms. 

“Train to Jeju?” The worker jolts Jisung awake once again. Once he gains his barings, he hurriedly gathers his duffle bag full of haphazardly purchased clothing. “Head to track 8, sir.” The worker nods at him before continuing down the walkway. 

As Jisung ventures between the trains he keeps seeing Jiwoo’s face. One of the train’s horns blows, making him jump. Even as he boards the train and makes his way to his seat, he sees that face she made when he looked back. The sheer horror and disbelief. He clenches his fists against his legs. No. It’s what needed to happen. Getting married would have been no better. His lengthy sigh is only a facade of relaxation. He shuts his eyes and leans back.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Winter 2025

Being in a fresh place with fresh faces, it would be better for you. That was the plan, at least. This house is perfect. The architecture is gorgeous, everything you dreamed about. That didn’t change the fact that it was a reminder. Nothing about the soothing sound of the waves crashing against the shore eased the sting. You explain all of this to your psychologist.

“That makes sense to me. Of course you’d still feel that way.” says Dr. Ha Sooyoung, who was surprised but intrigued to hear you weren’t married or engaged. Usually people who live there either immediately settle down or hightail it out of there according to her. Her telling you this worried you, you wondered if she was unequipped to handle such a trainwreck. You were hilariously wrong. “Who should we start with today?” She looks up at you, smiling to prompt you to answer. You still hesitate, knowing she doesn’t frame it this way to embarrass you. It still does.

“J-Jisung.” You want to disappear as soon as his name leaves your mouth. You bite your lip to keep it from quivering. 

“Okay.” There is no hint of a foul disposition in her voice. She smiles pleasantly. “I noticed we don’t talk about Minho as much.”

You shake off your self-pity and nod. “I feel better about him, I think.”

“I think that was thanks to you. Your last words to him were very thoughtful and mature.” She gives you props, seeming genuinely impressed. You nod more emphatically. 

“I find that I mostly want to know if he’s doing alright. I know he’s out now, but I try not to overstep. I just… I really hope he isn’t blaming himself.” You undercut your worry with a dry laugh. You wince, wondering why you feel like you have to filter your emotions around her after all this time.

“From what I understand, Minho really cares about you. I don’t think it’s just contained to romance or labels. He saw you, a person, at your absolute lowest and didn’t like what he saw. You said that when you brought it up he didn’t like it, right?” You confirm, letting Sooyoung take you for a ride through her thought process. It used to make you nervous, always thinking she was going to call you a piece of shit. At least you know better now.

“I bet it’s because it was a hard thing for him to see and think about. But I can guarantee you coming into that visitation area and calmly letting him go helped immensely. He doesn’t have to worry if you’re okay anymore. I think it’s time you stop worrying as well.”

You settle into the plush armchair across from her, feeling wrapped in a blanket of serenity. You smile at Sooyoung, the blanket slipping once you remember something.

“Sooyoung, will you be honest with me?”

“Always. What is it?”

“If I go back to Jisung… would that be cruel to Minho?” You almost don’t want to look at her, but you do. You can tell by the look on her face that she isn’t going to sugar coat it.

“I’ll ask you a question. How would you describe the state of you and Minho’s relationship?”

You laugh unintentionally, catching yourself shortly after and covering your mouth. “I’d say that’s long over.” You express after calming.

“Well, it has been about two years so I think that’s a natural take away. I’d say you two are at the position where maybe each other’s decisions shouldn’t bother the other too much.”

You decide to sleep on that. The nightmare you have that night makes you think sleeping on it might’ve been a bad idea. Once you finally rip yourself from your unconscious you whip out your phone. You instinctively text her at this point, letting her know that at least this time you did manage to fall asleep.

Ha Sooyoung: That’s great to hear. Try to get some more rest, watch something that’ll make you feel better. Text me in the morning.

You’ve deduced that that’s her nice way of telling you to stop texting her at 2 am. You imagine that it’s times like this people would recommend a diary. You throw on a kdrama, yet another decision that ends up screwing you. The kdrama you chose was one about a wife who takes her husband for granted and ends up regretting it upon hearing about her declining health. Your brain rewards you with a hazy dream where you’re bedridden and completely paralyzed. Watching everyone in your life slip away. You force yourself awake once more and decide to start your day at 7 am.

Waking up early was never your thing. You have passed on many employment opportunities based on how early they wake you. So in theory you’d be pissed you were pulling yourself from the comfort of your bed to make breakfast. But Sooyoung has taught you the importance of positive thinking. You used to think that was bullshit that people who didn’t have problems claimed was life changing. You have noticed a difference, though. 

Even when a couple pieces of eggshell fall into the pan and you burn yourself trying to get it, it doesn’t get to you. You smile to yourself once you notice. You take time with your breakfast bagel, savoring it. You grimace once you find the shells, but it doesn’t make the sandwich taste worse. You sigh, enjoying the brief serenity despite knowing it was going to expire. The nightmares still haunt you. It’s as if your brain doesn’t realize they’re not real yet. You sit with them like Sooyoung would want you to. Is this your mind expressing that you’re regretful? Obviously you are, there’s nothing more you can do now. You’ve spoken to Minho and Jiwoo and said your piece. You were a little unstable when Jiwoo contacted you, but what you said was true. Dwelling on it is only going to make it worse.

You’re already alone, anyway.

The final piece that you swallow is far too big. It climbs slowly down your throat, hurting the entire way down. You beat at your chest as if it’ll help, clenching your face hard. 

Just a minor setback, you think as you pick out your outfit for work. You found a stunning boutique in Jeju-si at the end of last year. You originally planned to go there to shop but saw they were hiring. They don’t give you a dress code, so you grab your favorite shirt. It defaulted to your favorite after you sold most of your clothing for extra cash. It’s a baby blue cashmere sweater. The beaded neckline and buttons on each sleeve were aesthetically pleasing, but the thickness and quality fabric made it ideal for the cold weather. You immediately feel soothed as you smooth your hands down the soft fabric.

As you stride down the sidewalk, you can’t help feeling extra cozy in your coat and scarf. You enter the boutique with a genuine smile. The usual patrons were young couples, old couples, and half of a couple looking for a gift. This would be the first time since working here that you saw a group of women your age. They looked like they shopped here, in fact you think you recognize a couple of them. Their vibe screamed polished but ultra-feminine. As they coast from rack to rack you become a fly on the wall. You listen as close as you can, spectating their movements and chatter. For a moment you imagine yourself with them, laughing derisively at the thought.

When they finish they make their way to the front. You notice one of the women staring at your shirt. Suddenly self-conscious, you tug and pull at it as if your actions will make it imperceptible. 

“Your shirt…” The woman speaks, slightly taller than the others. After she gets her fill she switches her attention to your face, priming a question. You swallow hard, wishing you could teleport out of there.

“Where did you get it? It’s gorgeous!” The women around her make comments and noises in agreement. Suddenly shifting back to your previous content, you smile wide. 

“I–! Um… I believe it was Khaite?” Again you’re met with rousing praise. 

“How beautiful! I don’t mean to be weird, but can I feel? I heard Khaite is popular for their cashmeres.” The woman speaks again, one of her friends seconding the request. You shrug as if you’re not absolutely loving the attention. You extend both arms and the woman reaches out before retracting her hand. She looks at you apologetically. 

“I feel like I should introduce myself first. I’m Hyunjin,” she starts before pointing to each person around her, “this is Kahei, Gowon, Jinsoul, and Yerim.” They greet you as each of their names are called. You greet them back, offering your name despite not being prompted to. You feel desperate suddenly, like you’re being met with a prime opportunity. Hyunjin returns to your sweater, brushing her fingers against the fabric. Gowon joins in, both of them remarking on the quality in shock. You can’t help beaming. How could you when the only consistent interactions you have are ones you pay for or are being paid for. Also, you feel like you’re finally hitting it off with everyone who hated you in high school.

The girls brief you that– as long as you’re okay with it– they like to have their first meeting with a new friend at said friend’s place. You agree, making a mental note to storm through your house like the Tasmanian devil to get it spotless. You throw on the outfit you hurriedly picked out at your store before looking in your mirror. The dress itself is lovely, of course, but looking at it on you makes you sick. Looking at yourself at all in the mirror does. All you see is every moment of preparation to inflict pain on someone who did nothing but love you. You shake the thought away, ears perking up at the sound of knocking on the door.

You take a few deep breaths, hoping it will offset the nausea. You plaster on a brave face as you open the door. The girls greet you excitedly before admiring your home. Gowon especially, who enters the home a lot more enthusiastically than the others. In a feat you thought impossible, Gowon’s eyes get larger. 

“I can’t believe it! This is the house! Me and my husband were just looking at this before it was sold. What are the odds?”

“Really?” You remark, matching her disbelief. “That’s crazy. Shocking odds, I’m sure.” You and her laugh. Each girl twirls around to get a good look at the house and your pride hides a deeper emotion that you push down.

“Oh! Please, have a seat! Make yourselves at home.” You urge as you guide them to your living room.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Gowon wiggles her eyebrows at you, hinting at something else. You stare at her for a moment as it hits you. You’re not sure what you’re escaping from quite yet, but your mind shouts desperately that this is your way out.

As the women settle in you notice something. “Where are my manners? I didn’t even check if you guys were hungry. I’m not much of a cook but we could order something.” You say frantically as you wipe your sweaty palms off on your dress. The girls look at each other, some announcing that they’re not hungry and others that they could eat.

“Anything you guys have in mind?” You ask as you take out your phone.

“Hmmm, I’ve been craving Chinese.” Jinsoul offers. Your thumbs freeze over your phone. The other girls agree, even the ones who said they weren’t hungry. So you place everyone’s order including yours. The one that you had offhandedly mentioned to Jisung. The one that he had ready for you before you ran out. Once the food is delivered and is set out on your dining room table it really sets in. You know what Sooyoung told you, but that doesn’t make you feel any better at this moment. You can’t look back at that memory. Especially not with the regret you’re feeling.

“So anyway, tell us about yourself.” Kahei diverges from the conversation topic you weren’t paying attention to. The girls turn their attention accordingly, tuning in to the grand story they seem to be expecting. 

“Yeah… tell us why you look like you’re always whimsically reminiscing about your husband who’s lost at sea.” Hyunjin raises her eyebrows like she knows you know exactly what she’s talking about. You choke out a squawk of a laugh in shock.

“Wh… what?!” You shout with a tinge of fear. You subconsciously cross your arms over your chest to prevent from telling on yourself anymore. The girls break up about the entire display, falling over the counter. You can’t help but genuinely laugh yourself, and you actually know why it’s funny.

“No um,” you gather yourself, eyebrows tightening at the fact that you’re going to admit any part of this, “I just… I’ve been eyeing this house for a while. Alone.” You bail out despite tacking that on at the end and making yourself suspicious.

“So no husband lost at sea.” Hyunjin playfully confirms while pointing at you with narrowed eyes.

“No.” You quickly reply. You laugh nervously amongst the sea of genuine giggles, eyeing everyone to monitor what else you might’ve let on.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“On saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake–” Heejin freezes when someone knocks on the door. She looks at Mihee excitedly, causing Mihee to gasp. “I wonder who that is!”

Heejin grunts as she raises Mihee off her lap and sets her on the ground. She hurries to the door, opening it to confirm that both of her suspicions are correct. There he is, his hands too full to turn the doorknob. 

“Ji-Ji!!” Mihee exclaims as she runs to him. Jisung laughs awkwardly as she hugs his waist.

“Hello.”

Heejin rolls her eyes at the awkward display before prying Mihee off him. “Alright, go sit back down and wait for mommy.”

“Did you bring ice cream?” Mihee asks, already whining. 

“Hey! What did I tell you about asking him for things when I already said no?” Heejin maintains her firmness despite her daughter’s pouting. “Go sit by the couch, come on.” 

Jisung watches in awe as Heejin guides her daughter back to the floor by the couch. She never seems too harsh or too soft when it comes to Mihee. It’s like she always knows exactly what to say and what to do. He imagines Jiwoo would be the same as a mother. Maybe parenting that good comes with being a good person. 

He sets the groceries on the counter, releasing his grasp on them slowly as something distracts him. He moves to the stove, shocked by how shiny it looks suddenly.

“I cleaned it.” Heejin says from right behind him. He jolts and turns to face her. His shock morphs to slight disappointment. 

“I told you I’d handle that when I got home.”

“And I told you you didn’t have to. Wasn’t cleaning the rest of the house enough?” She asks rhetorically as she starts putting away the groceries. He just closes his mouth, knowing he’s not going to stop her. If it was up to him, she wouldn’t have to worry about anything but taking care of her daughter. It’s the least he could do.

Summer 2024

If he just focuses on one task it’ll be less overwhelming. He needs a new ID. For a new ID, he needs proof of address. For proof of address, he needs to find a place to live instead of couchsurfing. To find a place to live to acquire important documents, the landlords require said documents. He clenches his steering wheel, waiting for a hit. He stares at the app as if one will come faster.

A knock on his window scares him. He looks at the owner of the restaurant who’s parking lot he’s in.

“I told you you can’t sleep here!”

Exasperated, Jisung rolls down his window. “I’m not! I’m just–”

“Get out of here before I call the police!”

Jisung grits at the owner as they walk away before starting his engine. Maybe driving around will help him find someone. Surely enough, the rideshare app rings out. He hurriedly accepts the request, stabilizing his poorly hoisted up phone.

When he pulls up, a woman and man stumble in. He eyes them in the mirror, knowing just by the look of them that they aren’t going to tip. He begrudgingly starts the engine.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung drives aimlessly through the city as if something will just jump out at him. He can’t find a couch to sleep on tonight and his eyelids are getting heavy. He pulls into the first parking lot he sees. He’ll just get a little shut eye while the parking lot’s still full. It’s either that or causing a car accident. He wakes up to a stiff back and the sun in his eyes. He blinks away the burning sensation, catching a glimpse of someone unlocking the building he’s parked out front of. They glance in his direction and Jisung prepares to be shouted at. However, the older man just smiles stiffly and waves at him. Jisung hesitantly waves back. He checks his phone to see what time it is. The cheap screen is useless in even the smallest amount of sun so he cups his hand above it. 12:33 pm.

He steps out of his car, stretching until all the joints that locked up were sufficiently popped. He happens to catch a glimpse of the sign when he cracks open his eyelids. He’s parked outside of a bar, and judging by the owner flipping the sign, one that opens relatively early. Curious, he steps into the establishment. It has the stereotypical pool table, the bar, and a few places to sit and eat. It has that cozy, rustic feel that most modern bars try to replicate. Jisung hesitantly sits at the bar.

“Um, thank you.” Jisung says sheepishly. The owner cocks an eyebrow at him.

“What? You sleeping out there? You’re not bothering me. Just don’t park in my spot.” His bluntness makes Jisung reconsider his approach. “Can I help you?” He’s mixing a little impatience in now and Jisung immediately takes the hint.

“S-somaek. Please. Sir.”

The man grunts before grabbing a bottle and a can from under the bar. He slides both to him. “Nine dollars.”

“Oh sir, I don’t plan on drinking this whole thing. Can I just have a glass–”

“Nine dollars.”

Jisung sits for a moment, wondering if he should leave and never come back. Then he’d risk losing a solid place to sleep. Jisung presents his card to which the man presents a small Square terminal. He takes his drinks and a glass to a table in the corner of the bar. One bottle and can turn to three by the time patrons come and go. He finds himself comforted by the chaotic environment. As he gains more of a buzz he feels himself levitating. He sees you as his eyes flutter closed.

Day and night he spends his time at the bar. The owner seems less annoyed now that he’s a paying regular. People come and go, clouding his brain satisfyingly with the noise. Some even bump into him, apologizing despite his indifference. Fall comes as his health declines. For once the owner protests his presence, complaining about the smell. He physically kicks Jisung out, sending him tumbling out the door. 

“Fuck you, I don’t care about you anyway.” Jisung mumbles an incoherent slosh of words as he kicks at the ground. The action sends him tumbling back to the ground. 

“You okay?” Jisung looks up after being questioned by a gruff male voice. Above him he only sees you. It’s a confusing, inconsistent mess of what he still remembers, but it’s enough for him to act on it. He stands up shakily, clenching your shoulders that don’t feel like your shoulders. He calls out your name.

“I’ve been looking for you, I came here for you!” He says happily. You shake him off, remarking to someone behind you that he’s “totally out of it”. You and your friends leave and he shambles after you. He miscalculates his steps and falls especially hard. He cradles his knee, rolling around on the floor. It’s okay, he can still sleep here. He still has a place to sleep. He opens his back door and splays out onto the seats, his feet dangling out of the car. With his face squished against the seats he calls out to you again.

“Come find me...”

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung groans when he feels his body move. His head is pounding and he can see the sunlight through his eyelids. He groans again, this one more akin to a whine. He notices his body is still moving around. Then he feels a hand that’s not his patting against his upper leg. He jolts upright, the action sending a bolt of blinding pain through his brain. When his vision finally focuses, he sees two men rummaging around in his car. One leaning over the driver’s seat and carding through his center console and the other right beside him, reaching for the floor. Jisung shouts out in shock. The man in the front looks over at him, cursing before retreating out the door and slamming it. While he’s staring at him, he notices the other is especially close. He turns to see him closing in on Jisung. He screams in horror and shields his face. The man reaches past him and grabs his duffle bag before fleeing. That doesn’t stop Jisung from flashing back to his assault, trembling as he slips out of the backseat and scrambles into the front. He drops his keys, reaching for them urgently before shoving them into the ignition. He glances at the suspicious onlookers keeping a watchful eye on him. He floors it, swinging haphazardly out of the parking lot. All their faces are vivid in his mind as he speeds down the street.

Images of Minho’s enraged eyes as he pummeled Jisung distract him. Cars honk as they pass his swerving vehicle. He eventually decides to park near a bus stop, slipping from his car and staggering onto the sidewalk. The first thing his eyes catch when he looks up is a sign on a utility pole.

“Single mother looking for a roommate.You’ll have access to the living room futon and all the amenities. $50 a month. Contact me at xxx-3894 or come to the Bayview apartments and ask for Heejin.”

Jisung laughs at himself. Just his luck that he’d see this when he needed it the most. It’s like someone is playing a cruel joke, daring him to nearly get killed again. He takes it as a challenge, gritting his teeth. ‘I’m not afraid to die’, he thinks as he hops back into his car. A piece of shit like him should be able to handle at least this much. Pain throbs right behind his eyes as he types the apartment name into his phone. He has tunnel vision the entire trip there, strutting through the doors and immediately losing his confidence. A burly man sits behind the counter. 

“Yes?”

Jisung is met with that familiar impatience.

“There was an ad for a roommate…” Jisung finds it hard to think after months of letting his brain rot.

“You’re looking for Heejin.” He states as if to remind him. Jisung nods, swallowing when he notices his mouth feels like cotton. The man moves from behind the desk. “Alright, hands up.” He says as he approaches Jisung. Jisung stammers and looks at him in confusion, leading to the man raising his arms for him. Oh god, he was actually going to die. He feels tears prickle his eyes, anger and frustration filling him at the sensation. Why did he even care? It’s not like he deserved to live. The man pats him down before giving Jisung a hardy “Alright”.

Jisung looks up at him expectantly. 

“Third floor, room 308.”

As he exited the elevator, Jisung kept thinking of every horror movie he’s ever seen where they lure some idiot into a secluded area and torture him for their amusement. He watches as insects crawl out from tears in the yellowed wallpaper. Everything is screaming at him to turn around but for what? So he can find another bar to drink himself into an early grave? Is life the way it is so worth living that he should fear dying? Despite that, his fist shakes as he raises it toward the door. He grits his teeth so hard he feels like they’ll crack under the pressure. He lowers his hand, cursing himself for his cowardice.

The door opens anyway and he flinches before looking up. Before him is a woman around his age with short hair, carrying a toddler. The toddler is crying loudly and the mother looks very disheveled. Not as much as him, but still enough for it to be noticeable.

“Please! Come in!” She sounds friendly despite her clear exhaustion.

He doesn’t know what would’ve happened to him if he didn’t find her and Mihee that day. She insisted on the low price to stay there. If only she knew who she was being so gracious to.

Heejin stumbles across a small container of ice cream and scoffs. She presents it to him, her cocked eyebrow suggesting she already has an idea why it’s there, but is still asking for an explanation. Only the beginning of a sound leaves Jisung before he’s huffing through his nose in defeat. 

“Could you give it to her? I don’t know… like if she does something good? Say it was a surprise from you.” Jisung supplies to a disinterested Heejin. 

“You’re just like my mother! What’s the point of being firm and putting my foot down if all she learns is to ask the right person?!” Heejin rants, exasperated as she tosses the ice cream back into the bag.

“I know, you’re right. I just couldn’t help it. You can have it. Eat it after she falls asleep or something.” Jisung falls even deeper into defeat as he sighs and closes his eyes. Heejin examines him quietly.

“No.” Jisung opens his eyes for clarification, only to be met with Heejin’s annoyed exhaustion. “You’re going to give it to her after she follows my instructions without talking back. You’re going to tell her that’s why she can have it, and to not ask for things I’ve already said no to anymore.” Heejin reaches for the ice cream again and shoves it into Jisung’s chest. He clutches it as she continues. 

“Maybe she’ll listen if you say it.” Judging by the look on her face, she means exactly what’s implied. Jisung’s brain churns with turmoil. That little girl shouldn’t get used to trusting someone like him. He’s trying his best to minimize his interactions with her but it’s impossible. 

“That is a good idea actually. You’re so good at stuff like that.” Jisung says sheepishly. 

“And maybe this way you can practice interacting with her without treating her like an active grenade.”

Her words shock a strangled noise out of Jisung. “Like a what?!”

“Don’t play dumb with me. Every time she hugs you your arms hover in the air like a confused bird. And don’t even get me started on the way you talk to her. Kids are easy to talk to if you try.” The more Jisung stammers defensively the more potent her knowing look gets.

“Fine,” Jisung huffs, “ but it’s not easy. Maybe this stuff comes easily to people like you.”

“People like who? Parents? You know anyone can become a parent, right? You don’t magically become a child whisperer as soon as you become one. And please don’t tell me it’s because I’m a woman–”

“No!” Jisung protests loudly, slightly annoyed at her assumption. “It’s just… some people are born to help. Others are born to hurt.”

Heejin watches in awe as Jisung stews in palpable self disgust.

“Do you think I assume Mihee teleports into her bed after we doze off on the couch?” Is what Heejin settles on to summarize her thoughts. She doesn’t even let him respond, just leaving him to put the rest of the groceries away like she knows he wants her to.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Book club, pilates, mani/pedis, brunch. These are things you only heard of people doing. Mostly from girls in school and after school who would give you a dirty look if you showed interest. Now you were doing all of it with girls who looked just like them. They didn’t even have to tell you about their extensive morning and night routines. You don’t get skin and hair that flawless without hard work. 

“How about you?” Hyunjin says after calling your name. While you were admiring their perfect grooming they must have been talking about their personal lives again. You guess that because they’ve been trying to get you to open up about yours. Not many people move here without having family here or leaving soon after. It’s only natural that they’re curious. 

“What about me?” You frame it as you being humble, as if there’s nothing much to say. Meanwhile you actually didn’t hear her. 

“Oh come on. There has to be some interesting story there.” Hyunjin urges, playfully suspicious of your mysterious backstory. You wonder for a moment if you should tell them your current house is one you fantasized about moving to with your ex. That would give them something juicy to chew on for months. But then you’d be framing yourself as a heartbroken damsel, not a homewrecking monster. And you’re definitely not ready to tell the truth.

“I always thought Jeju was beautiful, and I couldn’t pass up such a beautiful home.” You explain, the girls nodding in agreement. Especially Gowon, and you know exactly what she’s going to say. 

“I’m just saying! Let me know if you ever decide to sell that puppy.” She raises her eyebrows at you as if she’s tempting you. She is. You give her a smile, hoping it comes across that you’re considering it. You’ve never been to a country club so you take the time to look around. The architecture is beautiful, you expect nothing less for such an affluent part of town. The warm browns of the wooden floors and paneled ceiling as well as the beige walls give it a very cozy feeling. The slant to the ceiling, however, gives it a modern edge. Being this far up, the windows offer a gorgeous view of the skyline and the ocean.

The country club isn't the only mainstay of the group. Hyunjin’s house was as well. You were well acquainted with her son, Seojun. He was a fresh toddler, exemplified by the turbulent wobble in his stride. Her husband, Jeongin, is someone you’re not as acquainted with. He seemed charismatic and has great bone structure. You could tell immediately that Hyunjin was in good hands. Initially, that is.

Hyunjin’s long hair tucked back by a thick, white headband with the exception of her straight across bangs exemplified her preppy look. It’s why you thought the two paired perfectly together. Jeongin is one sweater tied around his shoulders away from looking like a stereotypical man from the 50s. His perfectly styled hair made him resemble Ken, a perfect to match for his Barbie. This is the exact thought process when he stepped into the kitchen where you were straggling behind, cleaning your glass. You smile at him, it comes naturally as his uncanny resemblance to the doll amuses you. 

“What brings you to this town?” He asks, seemingly bewildered by your choice. You sigh, almost complaining about answering this question so many times, but the smile still on your face doesn’t lie. This is the least problematic problem to have. 

“It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?” You remark wistfully. Jeongin agrees, exaggerating each step he takes closer to you. 

“It’s a pretty empty place. You get to know everyone, settle down, and then boom!” You nearly drop your glass upon discovering he’s right next to you. So close he’s pressing against you. “Someone drop-dead-gorgeous moves to town.” He looks at you pointedly, his eyes dipping lower causing you to actually drop the glass, the pieces flying all over the sink basin.

“Woah! Be careful doll.” He reaches for your hand but you jerk it away. He looks at you, offended. You return the look right back. 

“What did you say?” You mean the question literally, to double check what you heard, and as a way to encourage some critical thinking. You barely know this man. Hyunjin was one of the first genuine friends you met here who pulled you out of your rut. 

“Geez. Don’t be so serious. I was just kidding!” He throws his hands up, surrendering from your grilling. Kahei rushes in and he flees just as fast.

“Are you okay?” She looks over the sink and then at your hands that are shaking. You nod dumbly. “Are you okay?” She asks again, skeptical of your previous answer.

“Jeongin just flirted with me.” You find the words flying from you before you can control it, disbelief coating them. Kahei looks at you sympathetically before rubbing your back. 

“Yeah… you just gotta ignore him when he does that.”

You look up at Kahei, not sure whether the shock, confusion, or indignation was showing on your face. So many emotions and thoughts flow through you that end up voicing one aloud. 

“A-are you guys sleeping with him?”

Kahei backs up from you, her looking affronted this time. “Excuse me?!”

“I-I’m sorry! That came out wrong, I didn’t–”

“If anyone did that, or does that in the future,” the pointed look she gives you feels like a searing hot iron branding your flesh, “they should be ashamed of themselves.” Her voice laps at you as she shoots you a sharp glare. She leaves shortly after, leaving you to grapple alone. As you walk out of the kitchen, completely forgetting about the shards of glass you left in the sink, everything around you is muffled and blurry. Hyunjin asks you something but your eyes are trained on the ground. What have you done?

Hyunjin shouts your name and jolts you to reality against your will. You look at all the married women before you. All married except you. You look at Kahei who is still staring daggers into you. If she told Hyunjin, that would be it. You’re the only bachelorette there and Kahei is her best friend of many years. Of course she’d see you as the scheming harlot there to steal all their husbands. The worst part was that you had to seriously consider if you did flirt back. You know deep down that you didn’t, but you keep replaying the interaction to see if maybe you made a face and led him on.

“I-I have to go.” You gather your things as the girls protest. As soon as you breach the doorway, tears pour down your face. You cover your mouth to contain the sob that spills from you. You walk as far as you can but barely make it to the bus stop before you fully break down. You turn away from the onlookers as the sobs rattle you. Of course this didn’t work out. Why would it?

The girls message you in the group chat and privately as an attempt to get through. You don’t even get your hopes up. They probably just miss gathering at your beautiful home. They can have it. You can’t take it anymore. You text Gowon and let her know you’re accepting her offer.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Other than smelling like the sea and his hands being numb from the cold, Jisung can’t complain about being a fisherman. He could focus on his thoughts since his coworkers didn’t speak to him much. Everyone just minded their own business and got the job done. Jisung pulls the buoy line up from the water, coiling the line right by his feet. His supervisor gives him a pat on his shoulder, signaling that this is the last thing he needs to do before he clocks out. Jisung just nods, appreciative that no one tries to yell over the noise of the wind and the boat. They just communicate with gestures and nods. 

As soon as Jisung walks through the door he’s only thinking of a hot shower.

“Ji-Ji!” 

But immediately upon hearing Mihee’s voice, his stress alleviates slightly. He gives her a soft smile, dropping it when she runs up for a hug. He stops her with a cautionary “woah”.

“S-sorry Mihee. Ji-Ji stinks.” He defaults back to that stupid awkward laugh. She frowns and walks back to where her mother emerges. 

“Still.” She doesn’t even frame it as a question, knowing the answer from his bird arms. He hurriedly drops them once he realizes. She shrugs.

“You’ll get there.”

“You don’t know that.” Jisung corrects immediately. “You don’t know me.” His words offer a challenge. In a few seconds, Jisung can make her regret putting faith in him. Possibly regret ever letting him into her house. Jisung attempts to swallow the lump that forms in his throat.

Heejin picks up on that same look from when they were putting away groceries. She breathes a laugh. “Unless you’re some sort of axe murderer or child predator, I promise you I’m not worried about you being around Mihee.”

The confidence in her voice unnerves him. The back of his mind screams at him to tell her because she deserves to know. 

“I cheated on my… ex-fiancee multiple times with the same woman. I even got off on the fact that it would crush her if she found out. I urged her to go on a trip with her friends when she just wanted to stay with me, all so I could invite over the other woman. She even called me during the trip because she missed me so much but I told her to stay. While I was inside someone else for a whole month she thought I was looking out for her wellbeing, I was actively destroying it for pleasure. The kicker is that she wasn’t even my fiancee yet. I let her propose to me, plan the wedding, fantasize about our future, and even walk down the aisle while I was thinking of the very same woman I moved to Jeju for.” Jisung pours his heart as if he was begging Heejin to vilify him. His eyes are pleading her, but not the same way his words do. He can tell that he’s letting it bleed through that he doesn’t want what he’s asking for. He shakes it away and continues.

“Jisung.”

“I left her at the altar. I embarrassed her in front of both our families on a day that was supposed to be the best day of her life. I just disappeared.”

“Jisung–”

“She screamed out for me–”

“Jisung!” Heejin snaps insistently, finally stopping his never-ending confessional. She huffs, seeming to prepare herself for something.

“You know, I gave birth to Mihee after finally breaking up with my husband. We fought all the time during my pregnancy, to the point where I thought the stress might harm Mihee. You can’t really blame my ex, though. He had sustained an injury from his job and his doctor suggested he abstain from any strenuous activity. It was so serious he wasn’t allowed to have sex for months.” She stresses the word as if to mock her younger, impatient self. It dawns on Jisung slowly but surely. His eyes don’t widen because he’s shocked by what she did, but that she did them.

“You could understand his anger now when he realized he wasn’t seeing things and there was– in fact– a baby bump protruding from his loving wife. Even worse is when she tried to gaslight him. Telling him she was just bloated and was seeing a doctor about it. Then the bump got larger, and he saw a tiny foot distend the skin of her stomach. I think what baffles me the most looking back was that I was so angry at him. So angry that I fought him in court for custody of the baby I wasn’t even sure I wanted. Well I won that fight thanks to the prejudice of the judge. He gave me a stern look and lectured me like he was my father, saying that now I had to stop screwing around and live the destined life of a woman. The entire trial my lawyer and the judge boasted about how amazing it would be for a child to have a parent who had a natural impulse to nurture. But I didn’t. My ex knew that, which is why he fought. After the verdict I didn’t hear from him for a few days. I was panicking every time Mihee cried, wondering why the nurturing instinct I was supposed to have wasn’t kicking in. Then he called me and I was so relieved, ready to do whatever it took to get rid of Mihee. But he absolutely let me have it. Said he was an idiot for trying to remain tethered to me in any way, that losing custody was like dodging a bullet. There was genuine relief and joy in his voice.” Heejin reminisces sarcastically, topping it off with a theatrical, wistful sigh. She gives him an emphatic look, like she was encouraging him to continue his confessions. Jisung looks lost and confused. 

“Heejin… you’re a great mother…” He says as if trying to rationalize what he just heard.

“Exactly!” She says excitedly, pointing at him. Jisung shakes his head as her point fails to compute. “I didn’t even know what to do after that. I was heartbroken, because despite my poor decisions and us getting married at eighteen like so many idiots from our hometown, I did love him. The guilt was strong. So strong that I couldn’t tell if the depression was from postpartum or the guilt. Then Mihee cried again one night and it just… clicked. I can’t do right by my ex-husband, but I could do right by her.” The hidden bitterness and pain finally surface as her lip quivers. She shakes her head and looks at the floor. She laughs before looking up again, a tear slipping from her eye. 

“Thanks a lot, Jisung.” She says playfully, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry. Hug my daughter back, asshole.” She slaps the back of his head before retreating into her daughter’s room. Jisung stares at the closed door with the most pitiful feeling of hope curdling in his stomach.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Kahei Hey.

Kahei We’re going to meet at the country club cafe. We were hoping you would come.

They must really like this house, you think, laughing derisively at your own joke. You chew on your lip after the humor of your distraction dries up. Did they tell Hyunjin? Is this some sort of intervention or group confrontation? You want to employ the healthy thought exercises you’ve learned but you keep replaying that moment after you walked out of the kitchen. The face that Kahei made inspired no confidence that you were going to be forgiven. You want to just sell the house to Gowon privately and high tail it out of there. You weren’t sure where you were going to go yet but you had to go somewhere.

You release a lengthy sigh, knowing where you needed to go.

“I think selling the house is a good idea.” Sooyoung informs you, her voice plain like it always is. Nothing for you to cling onto or stretch out of proportion. 

“Really?” 

Sooyoung lets a little amusement at your shock slip but nods through it. “I’d say you’ve been there long enough to know whether or not it’s a net positive or net negative. If it’s pulling you down, cut it off. Makes sense, right?”

“Yeah.” You’re surprised by how simple that was. “Huh.” You express, slightly satisfied. Slightly.

“So. Is there anything else you wanted to chat about today?” Now is when Sooyoung hints at an ulterior motive. You guys have been talking for long enough that she knows when you’re hiding something and that she can safely call you out on it. You could play stupid or delay your response, but that’s only drawing out the inevitable. You’re paying to be here, dammit. You grit and bear it, catching Sooyoung up with your split from the group.

“Did you flirt with Jeongin?” Sooyoung says the quiet part out loud and it catches you off guard. There’s an attentive look in her eyes that illustrates clearly that you have nothing to be worried about. The answer comes surprisingly easy despite the gargantuan unease tearing your stomach apart. 

“No, but–”

“Then you didn’t do it.” Sooyoung interrupts you for the first time in any of your meetings. She releases a hefty breath in relief before continuing. “I’m sorry I sprung that question on you like that, but I had a good feeling you didn’t do it. I promise I wouldn’t have asked you that in an accusing way. But you see now why you shouldn’t be worried.”

“I… I’m just– I feel sorry for Hyunjin, okay?!” You stress not only to her but to people not present in the room. 

“That’s very clear in my eyes. You may not have told Hyunjin what was going on, but you didn’t smile in her face knowing what was happening behind the scenes. If you have any fears that you’re walking into a confrontation of any sort, don’t. You should be the only person entering that cafe without a guilty conscience. And why is that?” This meeting with your psychologist turned into a pep talk suddenly. You feel slightly overwhelmed but you push through it.

“Because… I never deceived Hyunjin or purposely hid things from her.”

“That’s exactly right! You don’t need to go, especially if it will cause unnecessary stress and turmoil. But I think this is a good opportunity to stick up for yourself. And it may even be an opportunity to get your friend group back.”

You shoot her a confused look that makes her laugh.

“I don’t think it’s too late to mend things. If they’re really your friends, they’ll be able to handle you setting the record straight without getting offended. Plus, didn’t you say you enjoyed hanging out with them?”

“I really enjoyed it. It was like I was in a Hallmark movie.” You admit dreamily and partially in humiliation. Sooyoung laughs again and this time you join her. She stops for a moment and gives you a pointed, passionate look.

“You deserve happiness.”

That sentiment and the look in her eyes strikes something in you. You swallow hard, attempting to push down the large lump crawling up your throat. Your lips tremble and you look to the ground. You want to believe her. Every time you walk into this room, you want to believe her. You know it’s not going to be that easy, but damn it feels good to have someone rooting for you.

Through a tightened throat, you look up and thank Sooyoung.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung’s supervisor pats him on the shoulder as he pulls on his coverall over his clothes. He looks over at him for clarity on the strangely-timed gesture. His supervisor clears his throat but it’s still gravelly beyond belief.

“We’ll be headed over to a well-off area to fulfill a large order today. The people there are spooked easily, so the customer warned us to not trail off too far if we dock.” He pats Jisung again as if to punctuate his sentence. Jisung nods as if he wasn’t already staring at the older man’s back. Jisung had forgotten what he said as fast as he said it. He doesn’t wander far from the harbor anyway.

As Jisung casts the buoy line, he looks out at the view. He can already tell they’ve arrived by the architecture and tourist-friendly attractions. Namely the pleasantly designed walls to welcome incoming boats. He has to guess what each cute little shop and building is, being this far away. Eventually they sail toward a residential area. His hands freeze and loosen on the rope, causing a chunk of it to zip straight into the water. Someone yelling his name only slightly alerts him. He drops the rope and they continue to yell. The crashing waves drown them out and alert Jisung to how bad his idea is. 

Jisung looks from the water to the houses again and spots it. The rock pattern around the edge of the property is identical. The dark wood and gray bricks, the distant twinkle of fairy lights, how it looks in the snow. In a split second he goes from stepping up onto the bow of the boat to hitting the ice cold water. His body immediately tenses up from the cold but he pushes through it. His hands slice through the turbulent water as he swims like his life depends on it. Halfway there, the majority of his body is numb to the point that he can only tell his body is following his brain’s command to swim because he can see himself closing in.

He reaches for a pile of rocks leading up to the edge of your house and clenches onto one. Feeling nothing from the numbness, he slips off from it. He tries again, gritting and yelling as he pushes through the pain. He clenches onto each rock as he painfully pulls his body up. By the time his hand slaps down on the wall surrounding your yard his fingers feel like they will pop off. He eventually drapes himself over the wall, falling over onto your snow-covered grass. He grunts desperately as he pulls himself up, shambling toward the house. He walks past the window, the one he saw so vividly in his dream. He sees the fireplace that matches the listing and his dream. He stares at it as his body feels like it’s chilling to rigidity. He finally pulls himself away at no sign of you. He knocks on the door, each strike feeling like it’s crushing his bones. He doesn’t know if he’s crying from the excruciating pain or from the anticipation of finally seeing you but it pours out of him. He sobs until drool drips from his numb lips.

A woman with large eyes opens the door before hiding behind her husband.

“Hey pal, what’re you doing here?!” The man booms. Jisung’s brain pounds behind his skull and his heartbeat slows. His head lolls over his shoulders and his eyes flutter close just before the world tilts.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“Mr. Han? Can you hear me, Mr. Han?”

Oh no… he’s having a nightmare. But why about this? The last thing he needs is to be back here. He hears a woman’s voice he expects to be Jiwoo panicking, but he doesn’t recognize it. Who the hell is that?

“Oh dear god. Is he going to die??” The woman asks urgently.

“No honey, they said he’ll be alright.”

Jisung blinks his eyes open, all of his senses overwhelmed by the sudden realization that he’s conscious. The relief he feels that he’s not stuck in a nightmare is brief. The bright lights above him and the feeling of the stiff mattress beneath him brings back all the emotions from being hospitalized for his concussion.

“Where are my things?” Jisung asks weakly.

“Thank god!” He looks over to see the large-eyed woman from the house sighing in relief. The house he thought was yours. He really did move here for no reason…

“They’re here in this bag, but I highly recommend you stay for another day–”

Jisung swipes the bag from the doctor’s hand and leaps from the bed. From the taxi ride home to the freezing walk up to his apartment, many people try to get his attention. The driver asks him if he’s okay, passersby ask if they should call for help, the burly man at the front desk of the complex hurls many bewildered questions at him. They all watch him walk by emotionlessly, bare feet padding on the snow, concrete, dirty carpet. When the elevator dings looks out into the empty hallway with beads of tears hanging over his bottom lids. He pads out onto the poorly adhered sheet of matted carpet down to his apartment. 

Heejin hears the door open and Mihee yell “Ji-Ji!” so she doesn’t feel the need to turn away from the stove.

“Hey Jisung, could you do me a big favor and help me clean the kitchen after this? Dinner’s almost ready.” She carefully starts to roll the egg. Jisung hasn’t answered but she needs complete concentration to do this.

“I know you’ll offer to do the whole thing yourself but…” She laughs, her smile fading slightly once she realizes Mihee is quiet as well. She swiftly kills the fire and flips around. The scene she witnesses makes her cover her mouth. Mihee nuzzles into Jisung’s shoulder as he holds her even tighter in his arms. Her tiny legs wrap around him as best as they can. They both soak up the long awaited hug in silence.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“I did all of this to myself.” Jisung admits weakly after explaining everything (including why he’s in a hospital gown) to Heejin. They both slouch on the couch, full from the food and exhausted from the day. Heejin looks over at him, the beer in his hand mirroring hers.

“So then it’ll be all the more satisfying when you fix it yourself.” She offers.

“Fix it how.” He laughs derisively. “In an attempt to lessen my ex’s pain, I probably tripled it. And the person I hurt her for is nowhere to be found.” He states the obvious in hopes she will understand his predicament.

“Are those the only aspects to your life?” Heejin asks carefully. “You’re suspended, but you said you liked your job, right?”

Jisung groans, very aware of where this is going.

“And you care about Mihee.” She adds with a more serious tone to her voice. “And she really loves you. You better not let down my baby girl.” She scolds. Jisung nods obediently, knowing she’s not joking at all. She sighs and rests her head on the back of the couch. 

“It takes time. It’s going to be lonely. It’s been three years since Mihee was born and I've only just made friends. Speaking of which, you should come with me.” She looks over at him, pleading with him to hear her out despite the look on his face.

“Some of them are young mothers just like me, which is exciting!”

“And why you should go alone. I’ll look after Mihee here.” Jisung brushes her off.

“No! They invited me to this crazy nice place, you might love it! There will be other things to do there and we’ll get in for free!”

Jisung groans and melts back onto the couch.

“When is it.” He asks regrettably, making Heejin squeal.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

You readjust your bag and coat for the eightieth time outside the doors. You have to go in there like you mean business. Express that you don’t take back what you did, but you really would like to be friends again if they’re up to it. You sigh through your peaking anxiety. How the fuck were you going to balance that tone? You’re not a politician. You inhale sharply before pushing the doors open.

“Over here!” Kahei immediately yells for you. You look over to see her beckoning you over and the other girls waving. You walk over to get a closer look and to confirm what you initially observed. Hyunjin is nowhere to be seen.

“What…” All of the worst case scenarios swirl through your mind as you look between them. Should you even be here?

“Please, sit.” Kahei asks tenderly. The slightly melancholic air to the room suddenly makes your stomach drop. You sit nonetheless, because the unknown is frustrating. 

“Hyunjin hasn’t officially left the friend group, let’s just get that out of the way.” Gowon points out with both her hands lowered to the table. Kahei confirms before looking back to you. She says your name empathetically before laying her hand over yours. You feel like throwing up. 

“We all told Hyunjin about Jeongin,” Kahei starts and you swear the room is turning slightly, “that he flirted with all of us. We should’ve done this a long time ago. It is truly shameful that it took someone who hasn’t even known Hyunjin that long for us to realize how wrong we were. That shows just how much you care, and Hyunjin wanted us to thank you for her.”

You untense your shoulder and finally fully settle into your chair. “So, she’s just taking a break, or–” You ask as you look between them.

“Yes.” Gowon interjects. “And rightfully so, she’s probably processing a lot right now.” The others nod. You start nodding too, failing to stop the tears from streaming down your cheeks.

“She is. She really is.” You blubber through your tears. The girls coo, standing to come over and wrap their arms around you. You hide your face, correctly anticipating that your cries were about to get ugly. Their embraces feel so healing, though. Each pat and rub to your back and arms soothes you. You recover as quickly as you can, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table and dabbing away your tears. You sniffle, looking at all of them gratefully. The overwhelming urge to apologize is consuming you but you fight it.

“I’m really happy to be back.” You beam.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“I guess it does look nice.” Jisung admits with a small smile. Heejin says a small “See?” before entering the building. He doesn’t even notice her and Mihee being long gone as he takes in the huge building. Once he does he gasps and scrambles to follow them. He looks around at the architecture. The slanted ceiling is a really cool addition, he thinks. He hears someone call out Heejin’s name and his attention lags behind again. A cafe in a country club… Heejin just made some rich friends it seems. He looks over finally at said rich friends.

Jisung can faintly hear one of them tell Heejin that she’s right on time. Each of them take turns shaking her hand and greeting her. Including a hallucination. She looks like you, she sounds like you, she gives a name that matches yours. She’s looking at him. You’re approaching him. He panics and runs back out of the doors. He breathes heavily, trying to stop his heart from exploding. He rests his hands over it as his breaths become louder, until they transition into soft cries. 

“Jisung?!” You say, moving closer to him. He looks up at you with intense, watery eyes and you back up suddenly.”J-Jisung, are you okay?” You ask with a heaviness he can’t quite grasp. You look like you’ll cry with him. Through your anguished joy at seeing him, you look great. You look healthy, well dressed and groomed. You’ve been here for less time than Heejin but you’re already shacked up with a group of rich friends. You’re thriving.

“I-I don’t even know where to start…” You say, confused at his intense stare. Jisung does.

“Were you in Incheon?” He hisses, straightening up to look you in the eyes. You’re shocked by the accusation laced within his words.

“Minho was in jail and I felt responsible. He did this because of me, I had to apologize–”

“I was the victim!” Jisung shouts against his better judgment. Hurt flashes on your face split second but he can’t stop. So many thoughts flip through his brain and he doesn’t think through any one of them. Your confusion doubles by this point.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“I got a concussion and hypothermia– f-fuck I’ve lost my goddamn mind looking for you!” He explains, desperate, angry, and crazed. Sadness overtakes him as he continues. “But none of that is even close to the emotional turmoil I went through without you. I know you don’t care about me– your own words– but do you not care about what you did to Minho?” He asks moronically. The words leave him and he immediately wants to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. But that want is far too distant. His anger is so close.

“Excuse me?!” You finally match his volume.

“If you did and it was still tearing you up, did you go and solve it on your own? With some other asshole while I suffered alone? You were the only thing that kept me sane and you left! You knew me and Jiwoo weren’t going to work out, why… why didn’t you wait?!” He pleads, flinching at the quick laugh you let out. A glossy sheen slowly envelops your eyes as you shake your head at him.

“Wait for what, Jisung?”

“Don’t act like you don’t remember.” Jisung closes in on you, lowering his volume but not his intensity. “We were the only ones who understood each other. The only people we could turn to and you–”

“It’s time to move past that, Jisung.”

Your unexpected answer, delivered in a delicate whisper, stomped out all the drive and anger he had. “Wh-what–”

“We’ve paid for what we did. It’s evident by all the burnt bridges from our past. Why we’re both here, miles away. I can’t keep relying on excuses for my behavior.” The twinkle of pain in his eyes softens you. For the first time in two years, you see Jisung. You can’t help reaching up and cupping both his cheeks. He huffs, more tears pouring from his eyes.

“I have to grow, Jisung.” 

He clenches his eyes shut, crying harder. “You can grow too–”

Jisung shakes his face away and your heart falls. “That’s easy for you to say. Your life is all sunshine and rainbows.” He replies bitterly. You scoff at his incorrect assumption.

“The whole reason I’m here is because I almost did something stupid that landed me in a psych ward. D’you really think I wasn’t suffering, too?” You ask as you drop your hands from his face. “When I first got here, I couldn’t get through an entire day without breaking down. I couldn’t even turn to mindless sex because I was scared. And I only wanted you.” You look down, ashamed at your admission. 

“I felt like– I still feel like I’m not a functional human and that everywhere I go I ruin lives. I feel that way because of you, Jisung.” 

Jisung takes the opportunity to be affronted by an accusation now. “Because of me?!”

“Yes!” You reply incredulously before laughing bitterly. “I’ve been abandoned my whole life. Either because someone dies or I push them away. I almost prefer that my parents died, because at least then I wouldn’t have to live with them choosing not to be in my life because I was a sad excuse of a person. I kept pushing Minho, testing him to see if he’d leave. And when he did… I thought for a moment things could be okay. Why?” Jisung realizes before you say it, closing his eyes regrettably. 

“Because I had you!” You shout. You laugh pathetically at your next thought. “I thought maybe witnessing the worst moment of my life would make you realize how much I needed you. And then you would smile on the phone while your girlfriend gushes about how excited she was to come home and be with you again.”

Jisung wanted to protest, wanted to tell you that he still cared about you and wanted to see you. But looking at the hurt in your eyes flashed him back to the day you walked out. The way he couldn’t find an answer when you asked him what he would do if Jiwoo put two and two together. The answer wasn’t obvious at that moment, but he knew the moment Jiwoo proposed that the answer was run to you.

“So if anyone should be grilling the other about being abandoned, it should be me.” You say, looking exhausted. Jisung feels utterly horrible. He finally finds you and this is what he does to you? You sniffle, wiping your eyes.

“But Jisung, I’m past that. I’m still fighting my demons but I won’t let them take control this time.” Your smile is a thin veil over your pain. 

“Do you want to get coffee?”

You both agree that you want to speak to each other alone, so you’re both nursing paper cups of instant coffee back at your motel.

“So you were living in that house?”

“The one I showed you?” You ask and he nods. You look around before nodding back. Jisung sighs, wondering if he should tell you just how he got hypothermia.

“Did you like it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on you.

“No.” You admit, solemnly shaking your head. “It turned out to be a bad choice.” 

“Seems like we’ve both got plenty of those to go around.” You both laugh at yourselves. As you settle into a brief silence, you remember what you saw posted to Jiwoo’s Facebook page last year.

“It seems like a lot of people were angry at you on Jiwoo’s page.” You bring up hesitantly. Jisung groans.

“Please. I do not want to talk about that.” Jisung strains. You look over at him and he dodges your gaze. You rest a hand on his knee.

“As soon as I saw you standing in the cafe, I wanted to crumble and just melt into your arms. Tell you all my shameless thoughts no one else would be willing to hear. Like the fact that my friend’s husband who made a move on me was objectively attractive and charming. And the fact that you wouldn’t even flinch would be comforting. But I don’t need my psychologist any more to tell me that that’s not healthy.” 

He finally meets your eyes. Hesitantly, but he still does it. His heart grows heavier as he finally realizes that Minho was right. He did ruin you. You made each other complacent. After Heejin confided in him, he wondered if the right thing to do then was to marry Jiwoo. That didn’t feel like the answer and he knows now that it wasn’t. It was for you both to do right by each other. The consequences of each other’s actions.

“I regret it.” Jisung starts. “Every single day the look on her face haunts me. If I wasn't a monster before, I was definitely a monster for leaving her at the altar.”

“Honestly I was shocked to learn that’s what you did. You’re right, I didn’t think you guys would work, but I thought maybe you’d get divorced after years of an unhappy marriage.” You reflect thoughtfully despite your harsh words. 

“That’s precisely what I was trying to avoid.” Jisung side eyes you playfully. 

“I mean, it’s good you cut it off before that, but you could’ve done it any other way. And maybe a liiiiittle sooner.”

“When? The night you left?” He inquires genuinely after brief amusement.

“Maybe not. Mostly because I think you should’ve done it out of respect for her and not to pursue me.” You note as you stare into your coffee. “But also because I feel like we needed the journey it took to get here.”

Jisung snorts. “I beg to differ. But I get what you mean.” You both chuckle lightly. “What um… what did you say to Minho when you visited him?” He asks, silently wondering just how reconciled you two are.

“I told him he was allowed to hate me but he shouldn’t hate himself.”

“It sounds like you guys wrapped that up neatly.” Jisung deduces while nodding his head.

“Now I would beg to differ.” You start, amused, “He was in jail. The worst part is that he exhibited signs that he would become violent on my behalf and I ignored them.”

“Has he assaulted someone before?” Jisung asks in disbelief. You nod slowly, finally deciding to take a sip of your coffee. You grimace at the bitter taste.

“His best friend.” You smack your lips before looking over at Jisung who is wincing. He makes a long hissing noise that feels like rubbing salt in the wound. However, after a little time, you feel lighter somehow. Acknowledging it won’t make it disappear, but nothing will. You take another sip.

“Is that your girlfriend? …Your kid?” It’s your turn to be nosy. You peek over at him and he laughs. 

“No, I haven’t been here for three years.” He stops laughing as he realizes the other component of that question. “And no. I don’t have a girlfriend.” He states, suddenly nervous as your eyes meet. 

“Are you? In a relationship?” Jisung sips his coffee before you stand up with a smile. You grab his cup to join yours, setting both on the tv stand. You sit back on the bed, closer this time. You grab the hand nearest to yours, slotting your fingers under his palm. 

“No.” You reply softly. He slides his hand to wrap his fingers around your thumb. You wrap yours over the back of his hand.

“If we’re going to do this…” He starts and you feel yourself getting excited. Your eyes flicker down to his lips, realizing you’ve been wanting to kiss him since you entered the motel. “Taking care of each other…” He clarifies. You say a soft “Oh” in realization before squeezing his hand. 

“We should be upfront with each other. What do we want? I’ll go first, I want to take things slow.” He says and you deflate a little. “How about you?”

“Um, right now?” You don’t notice that you’re bouncing your leg until he laughs at you and places his other hand on it.

“No, going forward.”

“Oh! Well… honestly as long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter.” You answer honestly though impatiently. 

“Yeah?” He confirms quietly and you nod. “And right now?” His voice is hushed, dropping in pitch suddenly. Your eyes lower to his lips and his tongue peeks out between them. You give into the urge, leaning in before he makes an admonishing noise. He lets go of your hand to hold you by your shoulders. 

“No?” You say in the most heartbreaking disappointed voice. He laughs again, he can’t help it. He bites his lip before speaking.

“Lay down.”

You excitedly lay back onto the bed, awaiting further instruction. He slowly moves to your side, his cold hand sliding under your shirt and cardigan. You gasp in surprise, closing your eyes. 

“What about this is taking it slow?” He tsks, moving his hand back down and reversing his progress toward your breasts. You whimper, his hands on your skin igniting a feeling you haven’t felt in ages. His hand keeps moving until it breaches the band of your pants. You gasp excitedly as he dips a finger between your folds. 

“Oh my god…” He remarks his shock. His finger sinks deeper into the sea of your arousal. He removes his hand and quickly moves it to his lips. He savors the taste, his eyes fluttering shut. You hum a turbulent moan, clenches your thighs tight. He moves back to your legs, situating in between them before baring your lower half. He discards the garments carelessly in favor of your exposed core. He plants a kiss or two, however many it took before you started to groan in frustration. 

He suckles at your folds, encouraging your clit out. Once it’s free he wraps his lips around it. His lips smack wetly before releasing. He licks up your folds, gathering the bud back into his mouth. The friction he provides with his wet tongue and mouth has you lifting from the bed. You grunt at the tight tugging sensation in your stomach. Jisung switches to a rapid flicking of his tongue that sends you falling back to the bed. You suppress your writhing, feeling a strong fear of disrupting the pleasure. Your repeat short, gasped moans as you watch him.

His hunger grows as he guides you to your high. He slurps at your clit until you’re mewling a warning. You finally let yourself writhe as your first orgasm dawns on you.

“F-fuck I need to fuck you.” Jisung growls against your mound.

Jisung shoves his jeans and underwear down, his cock flopping upon being freed. He grabs the underside of your thighs and pushes your legs back before moving to your arms. He slowly urges them over your head as he heaves above you. “‘m gonna fill you up.” He breaths, his eyes tracing absent-mindedly over your features. You hum pleasantly at the action. 

He slides his legs forward and his tip hits your mound. You jolt in surprise and excitement. Jisung mirrors your drunken smile as he slides in. Your smile fades as your jaw drops open. 

“It’s been so long–” You sob, your legs dropping over his shoulders. “N-need it…”

Pleased, Jisung hums and grabs your hips. He starts slow and shallow, testing the waters, remembering how good you feel. You’re flooding around him, squeezing every time he breaches into new depths. Upon bottoming out your head drops to the bed, your hands splaying out against the headboard. You choke out a moan that sounds like it’s being forced from you.

“God, fuck!”

He finally starts smacking his hips toward you and you frantically cheer him on with crazed chanted yes’s. Jolts of electricity run up from his abdomen to his throat and out his mouth through an urgent groan. He leans down over you, his breath hitting your face before he kisses you. You can feel how hungry he is, not aware that you’re returning the same amount of hunger.

He pulls out and sinks back between your legs before you can process what had happened. He immediately starts lapping at your hardened clit like a madman. Your anguished moan is cut off as he eases three fingers into you. He sounds and feels desperate. His movements are frantic and he can’t stop moaning and humming against you. His saliva mixed with your arousal drips down to your asshole in a thick glob. Not that you can dwell on it much. Not when his tongue is moving so quickly and expertly against you. You can’t help thanking any high power that would listen that you decided to hear the girls out today. He thrusts his fingers inside you faster as he switches to sucking your clit with an obscenely loud noise. He uses his tongue to rub long strokes against your clit. 

You reach down and tug at his hair so hard you think you’ll rip some of it out. You’re both whimpering like puppies in heat. The entire bottom half of his face is practically submerged into your mound. You buck up into him as another orgasm rattles you. You release his hair to fist the comforter with a deep groan.

Jisung crawls back up to position his cock at your entrance. He kneels right over your hips, making it so he can drop his cock inside you with lethal force. He starts with an accelerated speed that has you squealing desperate pleas. His balls slap at your asshole, making the already lewd sound of your wetness even more disgusting. You both sound like crazed animals as you claw and grab at each other. One of his hands haphazardly grasps at your breast to anchor himself. 

A sudden wave of euphoria overcomes you as you recognize his telltale signs he’s close to cumming. He seems to notice something too, reaching down to wrap both his hands around your throat. As he squeezes you rocketed to your orgasm, your cunt spasming around his throbbing cock. He pumps his cum deep inside you, bottoming out two, three, four more times until he’s completely empty. 

It’s like a ray of sunshine cascades over the both of you as he pushes back inside and lays over you. He rolls you both onto your sides, pulling you close like he doesn’t plan on letting you leave.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

As you observe Jisung across the room, you wonder silently if he knows he bites his knuckles when he’s nervous. He paces, visibly frustrated by the limitations of the small space. He flips and walks to the other wall, the phone in his hand now facing you. The dingy lights of the motel room fail to illuminate him as well as the sun that has long since set. Despite that, you still catch his eyes widening.

“H-hi! Um… is Jiwoo available?” After a very brief break, his knuckles are brought back up to reckon with his teeth. “Right, I’m an… old friend. I moved away– alright! Thank you.” Jisung is excited before the anxiety takes back the reins. He switches to his cuticles, needing something to tear at. Your stomach is twisting for him. 

He glances over at you for the first time since he agreed to do this. The terrified look in his eye makes you want to snatch the phone away and hold him, but instead you give him an encouraging smile. You nod and he nods back. 

“Hello? Ah… yeah. This is Jisung.” He flinches at what you presume to be an increase in volume. “I-I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I am!” He responds desperately after a momentary pause. “But you don’t have to believe me. I was a coward… so I just wanted to do the right thing and give you closure.”

Jisung chews on his lip before his eyelids involuntarily close, almost like he was bracing himself for something and hated that he was. But as his mouth drops open and a look of hurt confusion twists his features. A tear rolls down Jisung’s cheek amidst the silence. 

“I am okay.” He assures her in slight disbelief only for him to laugh dryly seconds later. “That’s fair. I’d tell me to go fuck myself, too.”

Jisung shuffles and looks down at his feet. “And is he your boyfriend?”

You wince at how that sounds, only for Jisung to be immediately briefed on that fact. “N-no I didn’t mean it like that!” Jisung sighs, dropping his defensiveness. 

“You’re right. I was pretending to care about you. I was cruel.”

Jisung freezes suddenly, his face partially obstructed by shadow. “It was after we moved in together. I realized how different we were, but I wouldn’t let myself believe it. I wanted to change for you… or at least that’s what I told myself.” Jisung answers honestly despite sounding like he wants to do anything but. 

“I guess I thought being with you would make me less of an idiot. But me being an idiot was no excuse for what I did, Jiwoo. And I’m sorry.” He whispers as if he’s lost all his strength. It resurfaces momentarily as he tries to stop Jiwoo but then he takes the phone away from his ear.

After giving him some time, you turn to him. He faces vaguely in your direction, seeming ashamed of the tears threatening to spill. 

“Sh-she hung up–” Jisung starts only to get choked up. His head droops and you push off of the bed. You hurry to him and wrap your arms around him. His cries are quiet, just brief heavy breaths here and there. You rub his back. A few minutes of rocking back and forth encourages him to break the silence.

“I don’t want to leave.” He states weakly. 

“You can sleep here tonight, but I agree about taking it slow.” You pull back to look into his saddened eyes. You cup his cheek and he’s finally able to indulge in the tender gesture. You smile.

“We have time.”

end of act iii

skz masterlist

milestone celebration masterlist

[chuluoyi]

UNHOLY MATRIMONY — 07

✩°｡ ⋆ love unspoken

- fushiguro megumi x oc/reader - oc/reader's character name is hara sena, pronouns still refer to “you” and i won’t mention it often—just for the sake of aesthetic rather than repeatedly writing "y/n"

in another life, in which fate is still screwing his life over, Fushiguro Megumi finds himself in an arranged marriage―with you.

genre/warnings: arranged marriage au, gojo cameo, jealous!megumi

notes: ladies and gentlemen, it’s with great pleasure to tell you that another drama is about to unfold after a one-week break :)

series masterlist | next. all falls down

Harajuku, Shibuya. The busiest ward in the city is the most lit spot to meet up with anyone. And the greatest place to hide in plain sight.

Gojo Satoru, suave and neat in his casual shirt with that distinctive sunglasses, undoubtedly drew the eyes of many. He appraised you from head to toe, from your curled hair to your blue floral sundress, and then let out a chuckle.

"Well, well… Look at you. Now quite happily married, eh?"

You regarded him with a furrowed brow. "It's been a while, Gojo-san."

"How's it going? No regrets, I hope? You look absolutely stunning, so I'd assume not."

This isn't a good idea, you lamented internally. You shouldn't have agreed when he asked to meet at this popular bakery in Harajuku.

After Megumi's more or less confession on that morning, you immediately contacted Gojo, because in the end, he was the only one who actually could help you and Megumi.

You cleared your throat. "Megumi treats me well, yes."

"As I expected of someone I raised," Gojo proudly quipped with a proud smirk on his face.

You remembered the night following that fateful morning a week ago. Megumi told you that he was this close to finding someone who might be able to break his sister's curse.

“A curse-breaker, also a jujutsu sorcerer,” Megumi explained. “She possesses a nullifying technique capable of canceling all curses. Perhaps she can help to free Tsumiki as well.”

A beam bloomed on your face upon his explanation. "That's great! Like, if she can cancel the curse, there's a high chance for her to recover right?"

"Should be... I've got to meet up with her first though. So far, I'm still using the Zen'in name to contact her." He had this look of being deep in thought briefly before fixing his gaze on you. “Well, I just want you to meet Tsumiki soon.”

The fact that he wanted you to meet his remaining family filled you with joy. "You never talk about her much. Tell me more."

"She's exceptionally kind. In short, she is different from me." His emerald eyes crinkled a bit, seemingly remembering a fond memory. "She is against cruelty, even though there were many people who weren't nice to us."

"For as long as I can remember, it's only been Tsumiki and me," Megumi proceeded to add, as if sensing your curious stare. "Gojo-sensei is there too but I can't say he's my father now, can I?"

No, Gojo is more like his benefactor, and with his sister cursed, Megumi is essentially alone. Your smile fell a bit at that.

It was strange, you did feel sympathy for Megumi before, but now that you had acknowledged that you were in love with him—and even more now that he also made it clear that he felt the same, the thought of him being alone sent needles to your heart.

"Don't make that face," he retorted and you glanced at him. "I'm fine now. It was not that bad."

He then went after your hair and messed it up, making you scrunch your face in faux indignation.

Before you even realized it, you were down bad for him. You didn't want to see him get hurt or upset, and ultimately, you wanted to stay by his side for as long as possible. And that was what hurt the most, because you didn't know how long this could go on.

That was why now you were facing this six-eyed devil once again.

"Gojo-san," you exhaled. You didn't come here just to let him mess with you. "With what I've heard, the first hearing went well. The second one will be held soon. You… will be there, right?"

He let out a thoughtful hum. "Well, if I don't have any missions lined up, then sure."

"Please treat it more seriously. You know how they wouldn't dare to touch him with your presence alone."

"Oh, it seems you've forgotten already," Gojo remarked with a snort as he plucked a mini tart and popped it into his mouth. "That should be your part, Sena-chan. I'm just here to assist."

You clicked your tongue in irritation. "My point exactly. I'm asking you to provide your assistance."

You couldn't really believe him. He had said it himself—he had raised Megumi. Why wasn't he slightly bothered at all?

"You know, you're really cunning now that I thought about it," he blurted, mouth still stuffed full, as if mocking you altogether. "You're playing him like a puppet just to fulfill your goals."

"Don't act like you don't have your own agenda too." You bite back your anger, disregarding his comment. Apparently, true to many rumors about Gojo you had heard, this man was truly infuriating. "You want control over Zen'in. That was why you agreed to my proposition in the first place. You're using Megumi too."

"Are you really in mourning?" Gojo fixed his gaze on you, his clear blue eyes seemed to shimmer. "Barely a month after your mother's passing and you are instigating another bloodbath without knowing the consequences."

You felt your breath hitch at the blunt words. Something inside you snapped at his mention of your mother, and you bit your lower lip, willing your tears at bay.

Gojo's mouth was split into this rather manic grin, satisfied at how he managed to make you clam up. He wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Crankiness doesn't suit you, Sena-chan. And you don't have to worry if I will be there, because as you put it yourself, I do have my reasons."

But now your mind was pulled elsewhere. "Did you know something about who murdered my mother?"

"No. But she wasn't even a sorcerer. Who would target her? Someone who pins a mark on you would."

"Zen'in Naoya..." You gasped at the realization. He was the first person you should look into, how could you overlook it?

"Nah, but that's jumping too early," Gojo huffed. "You can't just come with nothing and accuse him of murder. Naoya would have your head before Megumi's."

"But he—!"

"Keep your eyes forward, Sena." Gojo's voice dropped, nearly sending a shiver down your spine. This sensation felt familiar to you, you could have sworn you have gone through this washed up terror before.

Your father's warning words. The way you would lower your forehead to the dirt ground, asking him for permission only to be told to remember your place.

Gojo Satoru was this era's strongest sorcerer, and now he was staring you down as if you were the stupidest person he knew. "I see through you. You can't run away from this. Not anymore."

And his smirk made you flinch.

"Not when Megumi is involved. Figuratively and literally speaking, you can't do that."

You shuddered this time, as what he said sank into your core. Figuratively and literally was the cold truth, incorporated in your binding vow, and not for the first time, you truly feared what and where this would lead to.

Perhaps sensing your silence as petrification—which wasn't far off the mark, brutally speaking—Gojo threw his hands in the air and barked a sardonic laugh to ease the tension. "Well, you've got me. Don't stress too much about him. Worry about your actions more."

"I'm doing this for him as well, you know," you snapped. "All of this, now I'm doing this all for him too, not solely for myself anymore."

Megumi was now so close to breaking Tsumiki's curse. As much as the prospect of him becoming the Zen'in clan head wasn't appealing at the slightest, that vile name was still useful and you could worry about that later.

Gojo released a derisive snort. "Is that so? Then, what's still in it for you?"

You looked at him with blind determination.

"I'm going to destroy Zen'in Naoya by taking away the one thing he covets the most."

Megumi thought it was going to be an ordinary day. As ordinary as meeting someone new would be, at least.

He was meeting up with a woman by the name of Kurusu Hana to discuss the possibility of curing his sister in Shibuya. At first she was acting fine, he was certain of that.

"Zen'in, right?" her voice sounded hesitant. He snapped his head towards her, and nodded. She promptly took a seat before him in this high-end cafe. She seemed nice, and he was convinced after she introduced herself.

"Let me introduce myself first. I'm Kurusu Hana, it's a pleasure to meet you, Zen'in-san."

"Oh, that... actually—" He never rectified it in their calls, but it felt wrong if he didn't disclose it to her now. "I'm not actually a Zen'in—please call me Fushiguro. Fushiguro Megumi."

"Fushiguro... Megumi...?"

That's when he noticed a sudden shift in Hana's gait. It occurred to him that she might be not as cooperative now after knowing that he was a not true-born Zen'in. However, this theory didn't align with her behavior, as she continued to respond to his inquiries and displayed genuine interest in Tsumiki's condition.

"Uh—oh, so it's been nine years..." she mumbled, lost in thought. "A curse as profound as that is not easily undone." Hana briefly met his eyes, then quickly looked away, a shy expression crossing her face.

If he were honest, her demeanor made him uncomfortable. He saw that kind of expressions on you, and you looked adorable, whereas she... was not. Well, might be because he definitely wasn't remotely attracted to her.

"Can it be reversed somehow?" he asked curtly.

"In theory, there's a chance. Possibly 40% actually," Hana responded, though her tone lacked the firmness he would have preferred to hear. "A curse residing that long in a human's body have... ingrained into the body itself, so it's not going to be as simple as exorcising newly-planted curses."

Megumi knew it wouldn't be easy, but hearing it firsthand was undeniably disheartening. "I see... Is there something that I—or you—can do?"

"I can attempt to break it, but the cost of it failing would mean the vessel’s immediate death."

He took a sharp intake of breath at that, his chest feelings suddenly tight.

Why was this world so unforgiving to kind people like Tsumiki and your mother? They hadn't done anything wrong, so why did they have to bear such heavy curses?

It was hard, but stalling any longer still meant Tsumiki’s impending death, so he decided to go through with the idea.

Hana would do enchantments for three weeks straight as a preparation to lift the curse from Tsumiki's body. And Megumi would be there to keep watch. Ah, he was thinking he could bring you too to switch with him if needed.

Wrapping the discussion up, he expressed his gratitude to Hana and prepared to take is leave. However, she halted him with a hesitant look.

"We have met before." She looked at him with such a hopeful expression it was jarring. "D-Do you... remember me?"

To him, what she said sounded like the peak of absurdity, and so he blurted the first thing that crossed his mind. "No, we have not."

"But..."

Megumi wanted to argue but then noticed something peculiar out of the corner of his eye. Through the glass panel of the quaint cafe, he could see the establishment next door that just happened to be where you and Gojo were.

Wait, you and Gojo-sensei?

"You saved my life!" Hana exclaimed, her raised voice shattered his thoughts and drew the attention of nearby diners. "You had two dogs with you—they led me out safely. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have made it until today."

There were many things on Megumi's mind then. It took him a few seconds to discern her words as his eyes flickered again to where you were, and this time he saw you getting up from your seat and grabbing your purse.

And how Gojo seized your arm, pulling you roughly enough that you stumbled back a couple of steps.

Megumi saw red.

"I don't remember."

He knew it was his irritation speaking. He shouldn't have brushed her off like that, especially since he was the one in need of her help, but an overwhelming urge to stride over to where you were surged within him, and Hana's insistence was starting to grate on his nerves.

"I'm sorry, but I need to go." He completely missed Hana's crestfallen face as he fixed his gaze on you. "Thank you. I'll be seeing you again soon. Will contact you later."

He marched towards where both you and Gojo were, forcefully yanking the door that it caused the bells to ring with such intensity that it startled the girls waiting in line for pastries. That was when he realized that this fancy place was the one that required reservation before you could have a seat here.

Was it Gojo? Or you?

In any case, it appeared that both of you had finally become aware of his presence. You whirled to face him, wrenching your hand off Gojo's grasp.

"Megumi." Your voice came in a tense gasp. "What are you doing here?"

In sharp contrast to you, Gojo Satoru was jolly and didn't seem to care if he had just manhandled another man's wife. "Yoo, Megumi! It's been a while!"

It was as if every wire in his body had switched to autopilot. He remained expressionless, but he swiftly grasped your hand and pulled you to his side.

"I'm the one who should be asking you." His voice carrying a hard edge as he turned to you. "What are you doing here with him, of all people?"

"Booo, Megumi, you wound me! It's not like I would do anything to Sena-chan—"

Gojo's familiarity with you seemed to irritate him even further as he shot him a warning look. "Shut up, you're annoying," he said, lacing his fingers with yours and glancing at you from the corner of his eye. "We're going home."

The three of you—or rather, Megumi—definitely had made a debacle that onlookers were left with gaped expressions. He scowled and passed by them, maintaining a firm grip on your hand.

Gojo couldn't suppress an amused smile. "Well, well, Megumi-kun... Look at how much you've grown up."

Kurusu Hana was in love with Fushiguro Megumi.

She had convinced herself of that fact somehow, going as far as thinking of him as her destined one.

On a harsh snowy day, when she was teetering on the brink of certain death, a fluffy dog suddenly barked at her and indicated the path to safety. She recalled crawling on her hands and knees, following the white dog, until she felt the warm touch of local police guiding her to a secure location, away from menacing curses. She also remembered how the dog had dashed toward a boy who promptly patted it on the head. The boy, whose name she would later learn as Fushiguro Megumi, looked at her with a straight face, before a smile slowly spread across his lips.

She really didn't expect that she would really meet him again. More than ten years had passed by, and yet she still held that boy close and dear to her heart. Her savior.

Meeting him again this time was, of course, fate, or at least that was what she thought. She was about to erupt with euphoria… until he didn’t acknowledge her and left to catch another woman, pulling her along in a display of possession.

She was heartbroken. Maybe it was her fault too for keeping this love unspoken for as long as she did. But then again, how would she even speak it out loud? She never got the chance.

The way this encounter had played out and that she had seen him firsthand with a woman who clearly had his affections made her realize that there might not be a chance for her after all. Hana felt disheartened once more. But her spirits were consoled somewhat as she reminded herself that, from now on, she would be in contact with Megumi regularly due to her involvement in breaking his sister's curse.

It’s okay… Even if she couldn't have him, she could still admire and be near him.

That… should be enough.

next : all falls down

🏷️ taglist

@moonmalice @hellothere9597 @qtnfer @firstplaidpeachnickel @waddlingwanderer @chilichopsticks @satorus-slut @dcvilxswish @lees-chaotic-brain @tojirin @bluebreadenthusiast @pandabooster @cole-silas @becsmarvel @giuli-in-earth @fuckimgenderfluid @haitanisrarity @kimura-uzuri @bicchaan @lunavixia @stevenknightmarc @rory-cakes @sushisimp

[thatdraggo]

Hello Everyone in the Objectified/COTH fandom! I’m creating my own comic about multiple razor packs being at war. It would also be about religious beliefs, homes, and how different packs live. Not all of them can live in forests.

This would give more depth to the forest dwellers we know and love.

So, I’m asking you all to send in your own Razor ocs to be put in the comic! Since I’m not too creative. I need rulers for each pack (4), (4) Stone guardians, civilians for each pack (so about 10) and (2) other main characters!

If you want your oc to be added, please provide a short description of characteristics, the pack wanted to be in, and a reference sheet in a reblog, and not through a message! Thank you!

Here is the pack list and description

Pack Safety: Safety guard hoods and masks that come from a slit on their heads. Most mysterious and deadly pack. They will kill with no hesitation anyone that differs from the “standard archetype” of Pack Safety. A usual defect dealt with is their hoods either not completely covering the face and or not being able to slide on and off. Usually developed by kits “too loved” or too hated, due the hood coming automatically on when under stress. This “disability” is sometimes developed by war veterans too, meaning they have to be executed. Long razor heads with not very much variation in color. Usual beastial type is coyote beastial, if not a coyote beastial, immediately assumed to be a hybrid and is quickly killed with the snap of a neck + the mother’s as well. Live in common pine forest.

Pack Seaside: An aquatic pack that lives on riverbeds and under streams. Have beautiful voices like sirens and fins / gills all around them. Small webs in between talons / fingers. Usually tropical fish and seahorse built tails / fins with alligator limbs other than tail. If furry, usually have Beaver beastial roots

Pack Echo: Usually have draping wings connected to their arms like wyverns, large ears, and night vision. Usually the only razor pack with ears and long tails. They kill or leave kits to die with damaged ears or other injuries, due to the inability to survive in such conditions in the mines and caves they live in. Usually have dragon / bat beastial roots.

Pack Guard: The most loose in control pack, usually with hybrids from other pack types. Thick rubbery glands around face, and usually have magical powers related to thunder (electric razors) only razor type to be able to purr, a signal only used by their pack. Have glowing glands that light up in dark caves/ at night. By far the most artsy and creative pack. Least fearsome pack, though have the most physical strength by far. No definitive beastial type, but bear beastial ancestors were painted on their trees and canvases. Live in common pine forests

[meiiie]

dave lizewski, i’m so into you. (pt. 1)

summary: you say something unexpected about Kick-Ass while discussing with your friends which hero you prefer the most.. Kick-Ass? Or Red Mist? little did Dave know or so you thought, you knew it was him all along..

a/n: uhh this is just a silly little imagine.. no one is probably going to see this post anyway but i’m new to this so this isn’t really the best thing i wrote, i hope u still enjoy reading this LOL i’ve also added my OC named Melilah who will be your best friend in this, um slight nsfw mention near the end but no actual action, thats it i think! yeah that’s it, happy reading :)

(pairing: dave lizewski x fem!reader) link to pt. 2

word count: 1.5k

It was a normal day, going to school, attending your classes, eating lunch, procrastinating your school works, submitting homework… attending more classes… rinse and repeat. But today was not what you expected, like.. at all.

ring ring… ring ring… you pick up your ringing phone while walking down the street, on your way to the convenience store.

“hello.?” your voice turns out more tired and groggier than you expected “hey when are you getting home sweetie? the food is getting cold and its already almost 6:30 pm, where are you?” your mom says with a worried voice, you could already imagine her face by just hearing her voice

this week has probably been one of the most stressful weeks of your entire life, class has been giving more school works, more due dates, you probably see your life flashing before your eyes right now “um yeah i’m on the way home already, don’t worry mom!” you say attempting to make your voice sound enthusiastic “well you better not be hanging out with that pretty boy.. actually maybe you should invite him for dinne-”

“mom— i—“ you cut her off but then you sigh giving up to even explain. “…he’s just a friend i swear..”

this supposedly ‘pretty boy’ your mom is referring to is Dave Lizewski, this guy in your class who you were paired up to work on a major project so he’s been at your house a few times already. surprisingly you get along with him really well? you’ve even become a part of his friend group including your best friend Melilah. She always points out the fact he always stares at you whenever you all hang out in Atomic Comics and during classes, but you’ve never really thought about him that way, or maybe you were considering it?

while walking down the road the street lights flicker a bit and you see someone trying to hanging onto the ledge of a billboard of some sort. you hear the figure shout at the cat sitting, waiting for him to fall “FUCK YOU MR BITEY!” his voice echoes, but wait.. why does his voice sound so familiar…? “okay okay okay, but call me and update me on where you are okay? be here quick, i love you!” your mom says- *THUD* you quickly look at the direction where the person, you assume, fell “UH yeah i’ll call you! i love you mom, BYE!” you say hastily, almost whispering.

beeeep.. beeeep.. you hang up the phone call, quickly putting your phone back in your messenger bag and hide behind a car. you spot a green figure, uh, “what in the world is that…” you think to yourself. the figure is wearing a weird.. cosplay suit.. it’s almost as if he looks like a green condo-

your thoughts are interrupted as he storms off looking frustrated, most probably because of the cat he couldn’t save.. he walks hurriedly into the dark alley. for some what reason you felt a little curious, just a little bit. so you go and follow the ‘super hero’, “this is so stupid.. someone remind me why I’m doing this to myself?” you whisper to yourself as you hide behind a pole, (you think this helps you stay hidden but you should’ve seen dave’s face when he saw you) trying to get a peek at the stranger. he takes off his mask angrily, you watch his curls fall into place, there are some scratches on his face from the fall, “damn why does he look so fine” you say in your thoughts and then you realize.

those are the blue eyes you see everyday in school, THAT’S DAVE LIZEWSKI. you silently gasp covering your face. his eyes dart at your direction, he shudders at the sound of your noise then next thing you know you start running away like a cockroach flew at your direction “WAIT!” he shouts, good thing you ran quick enough so he probably didn’t see your face, key word: probably.. actually there was no reason to be running from him at all- but you just felt like it..? considering you’re still in your denial stage about your feelings for him, who wouldn’t? you open the door to your house and get in as fast as you could just in case he followed you. the tv is bright and the news displays the text in bold ‘SUPERHERO KICKASS SAVES THE DAY’ you stare at the tv in shock because that’s… how… he’s Dave..?

your mom pops out of the kitchen “hey your back home! i thought you were going to call me to update me where you were..- oh yeah that superhero… what’s his name? Kickass? apparently he stopped a bunch of guys yesterday who were trying to beat up another guy that was in front of a convenience store and a bunch of people saw it then recorded blah blah blah you get it” you just stare at the tv in shock. “hello…? earth to y/n?”

it’s been almost 2 days, you’ve been avoiding Dave, trying not to make eye contact with him, passing by him in the halls, not even acknowledging his presence, even avoiding the hangouts to Atomic Comics, despite the fact you still have to do a major project with him. you open your locker getting books out of your locker, “hey have you heard about those two new superheros? Kickass? and Red Mist?” Melilah questions and your eyes widen at the question, only being reminded of Dave “yeah- well- i think its kinda dangerous doing that you know? being a um.. a superhero? why are people even so into them nowadays?” you say hesitatingly “ugh you are such a buzz kill, anyways Todd and Marty invited us to hangout… in Atomic Comics…” she looks like she’s about to ask a question, but she hesitates “go on.. continue” you gesture her to reply “why are you like.. i don’t know avoiding Dave? we’ve all kind of noticed that you know and the tension is killing all of us..”

you close the locker door and bring her to an empty classroom, you say “okay i know this sounds a bit crazy but DAVE IS KICKASS.” she “pffts” at your statement then turns to look at your face again, “oh.. your being serious” she says “YES I’M BEING SERIOUS?? i was on my way to the convenience store right and Kickass or Dave- i don’t know anymore was trying to save this cat then falls from this thing- anyways he walked in the alleyway so i was like ok i’ll just follow him! what could possibly happen!? then he took off his MASK SO THEN I RAN AWAY AND HE WAS LIKE ‘wait!🤪’ BUT I KEPT ON-” Melilah tries to comprehend everything, slowly nodding… slowly.. she whispers loudly “OKAY KEEP IT DOWN SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU, okay so are you SURE this was Dave?” still whispering

“a HUNDRED percent.” you say trying to defend that you weren’t just seeing things

she sighs “well what are we going to do? I already told them we were going to be there..”

“you said WHAT?”

“okay okay chill they didn’t say Dave was coming, they obviously noticed how awkward it was with you guys so why would they invite him right haha.. haha…..” she laughs nervously

after both of you gather your thoughts you find yourself already settling down in a booth, in Atomic Comics, contemplating your life decisions. fidgeting nervously already imagining what’s going to happen. hoping not to see him. Melilah comes back after gathering a bunch of comic books to read while waiting for them to arrive. “hey stop fidgeting your going to be fine, plus he doesn’t know you know. right…?” you both just stare at each other. you both start praying in unison—“lord give us the strength to-“

“give you guys the strength for what?” Todd interrupts, you look behind him frantically to check whether Dave was there or not. to your surprise, he wasn’t. does he know? did he see my face when i ran? what if he doesn’t like me anymore? wait. why did that even matter? Todd and Marty took a seat beside Melilah leaving you alone sitting at the other side of the booth, obviously planning something.. “guys what do you think of Kickass?” Melilah asks, you kick her leg from under the table making a face screaming WHYAREYOUBRINGINGHIMUP. in fairness the both of you didn’t know whether Todd and Marty knew about it too, you shoot a glance at her giving a ohhhhiunderstandnow look to what she’s doing (spoiler alert: you've got the wrong idea, she was in fact not helping you) “i think he’s fine i guess, to be honest Red Mist is way cooler though because of his cape and all..” Marty says with Todd nodding his head to show that he agrees

“well- for one i think Kickass is wayy cuter, i’d fuck his brains out if i got the chance.” you say out of your thoughts completely regretting saying the said statement- “Really?” Dave says out of nowhere observing the conversation from behind your booth, making you jolt “y/n that just came out of nowhere what in the world.” Melilah says right after staring at you for a few seconds while Dave is making eye contact with you, smirking like he knows something. the conversation falls quiet.. real quiet… “okay wrap it up you two.” Todd interrupts, i wonder what happens next?

a/n: and the rest is history, I hope this was good enough lolol hope you enjoyed reading! (pt. 2 coming soon)

[1-800fandomqueen]

Primae Noctis

King Viserys x fem!AFAB!reader (OC)

WC : 3.6K

SW : Reader is given a name to make my life easier, however there is no usage of "Y/N," and physical appearance and details are left completely ambiguous and up to interpretation. PWP, Jason Lannister is an inadvertent cuck, oral, both m! and f! receiving, unprotected PiV, creampie, breeding kink, - you can't tell me that vizzy t doesn't have one -

If there's any more warnings to be added let me know!

This is the first installation out of a few others, I'll be doing Aemond, Aegon, Daemon, and possibly other hotd characters.

This is a re-post, all of my old accounts were deleted.

“Droit Du Seigneur,” which translates to “right of the lord,” is a mediaeval practice that’s also known as Primae Noctis, and it refers to the assumed legal right of feudal lords and kings to deflower and bed subordinate women on their wedding night, instead of new their husbands. 

“Presenting Lady Braella of House Kneight, to King Viserys of House Targaryen, first of his name, King of the Andals, and the Rhoynar, and the First Men. Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.” The boisterous voice of the Kingsguard calls out, opening the door for you into King Viserys’ chambers. You’re still in your wedding dress, a beautiful garment of a light cream colour with gold embellishments, it looks surprisingly opulent and fit for a member of royalty considering that your family is poor, and had little money to get it made. 

You stand with your hands clasped in front of you, gaze lingering on your shoes as Viserys quietly dismisses the guard, “Thank you, Sir Erryk,” a slight chuckle in his voice, “That will be all.” The heavy door closes with a resounding thud, leaving you alone with the King of the Kingdoms. “Good evening, Lady Braella, would you like to take a seat?” An arm covered in black fabric that’s trimmed with red lifts up and gestures towards two seats that are directly in front of an ornate fireplace that burns softly, on the left side of the room. On the right, lies the sculpture of Old Valyria that the King seems to have worked endlessly on. 

You give a polite nod, finally lifting your head up to take in your surroundings. There’s a desk next to the chair, endless amounts of books stacked up on the surface and the area around it, various half-melted candles littered throughout the room, basking the room into a very light golden glow, but still leaving it rather dark. In the next area of the high-arched chambers is a bench seat in front of the window, a chaise lounge, another softly glowing fireplace, and finally the Kings’ bed, a plush looking thing with a dark oak four-poster frame, and soft looking red and gold sheets.

‘It’s a good thing that the bed appears soft,’ you think, ‘considering I’ll be laid across it later.’

The thought causes you to blush, and you can feel the heat rushing to your face. Gently sweeping your dress underneath yourself as you take a seat, hands coming back up to clasp in your lap. The king looks at you with a soft smile on his face, and a knowing look in his eye. “Could I offer you a cup, Lady Kneight? Possibly for the nerves?” already reaching for the pitcher of wine and one of the goblets next to it, “Yes thank you, my King, and unfortunately it is no longer to be Lady Kneight, but Lady Lannister, my Lord.” Reaching out to accept the cup offered to you, nearly downing half of it in one gulp. “But you are not yet married, and until you perform your nuptials and Jason Lannister beds you, you are still Lady Kneight.”

Remaining silent, you continue to take generous sips of wine, feeling down at the reminder that you are to marry a man that does not love you. You come from a small farming isle, your father is the most wealthy and successful farmer on the Island, and all the other citizens declared him Lord and representative because of this, but in terms of King’s Landing, in the eyes of the King himself, you were to be considered very poor and impoverished. The only reason Lord Lannister asked, or more so demanded, for your hand was to try and obtain the Isle for himself. Your father was very old, you were the last attempt out of a long line of failure and loss, and unfortunately the years of strain had already caused irreversible damage, and your mother died shortly after you were born. Lord Lannister believed that once your father died he could then possess the largest farming plot, and then after that, the whole town. You can feel the overwhelming sadness, the future ahead of you is dim; a long life of being the broodmare for some proud lion who will show you no love, no kindness, and will expect you to sit by quietly while he continues to indulge in women, cups, and chase after power. 

You feel a warm calloused hand place itself softly upon your own that are still clasped in your lap. You tear your eyes away from the random spot that they had focused on upon the wall, turning to face the King you find that he has this melancholy look upon his face. “As you know, I lost my wife, Aemma, and my son Baelon, not long ago. The council has been demanding of me to remarry, to take a new bride for the prosperity of the kingdom and the propagation of the Targaryen line.” His eyes have begun to drift away from yours, the death of his wife and child weigh heavily upon his mind still. You’re suddenly filled with doubt, you shouldn’t be here, not so close to the death of his wife, it’s rather selfish of you, you think, even though it’s the law that you be here.

“Even though I am one for tradition,” He carries on, thumb absentmindedly rubbing across your knuckles. “I must say, the notion of arranged marriages is not one of my favourites. At least luck was in my favour with my marriage, I had known Aemma almost all my life, I was familiar with her, which made everything much easier. However I offer you my commiserations, to be forced to marry someone of whom you hold no knowledge or familiarity with. And if you’ll allow me to speak freely my Lady, I’m sorry that you’ve been stuck with such an excuse of a man as the Bastard of Casterly Rock.”

You feel your eyes widen as you choke on the sip of wine you had just taken. The King was allowed to speak freely of course, he is the King after all, but you didn’t expect such crass and crude honesty from him, especially towards someone who consistently supported and pledged fealty to the King, whether out of cowardice or not. He makes a shocked face as you begin to cough, sliding to the edge of his chair to reach out his left hand and place it on your back in a comforting manner. He doesn’t remove his hand from your own or your back even after you’ve regained control of your breathing and ceased coughing. 

The room is silent for the next few moments as the two of you look at one another. The King has a soft smile on his face as the two of you resume your conversation, you find that speaking to him is actually rather easy, considering the fact that he’s the King. You speak on everything from your parents to the model of Old Valyria that he’s constructing, a large and eager smile overtaking his face when you ask him about the subject. Eventually after a few more cups of wine on both your parts, the mood of the air shifts, more tension arising between the two of you. 

The King slides off his seat, placing his cup back on the small table before reaching a hand out for your own. “Thank you my King,” placing it in his hand, “There’s no need for formalities, my Lady, you may call me Viserys.” now reaching his hand out for your own to help you from your seat. “Of course, Viserys, and you may call me Braella, if it suits you.” The two of you stand facing each other, just a hair's-breadth away from being chest to chest, The room is feeling very hot, but as much as you’d like to blame it on the two fires that circulate the air, you know it’s because of your close proximity to Viserys and the knowledge of what comes next. 

He brings a hand up to cradle your face, thumb rubbing against your cheekbone. The heat that emanates from his skin floods your senses, his skin rough yet soft at the same time, providing a certain comfort. Parting your lips as your eyes flutter, the air moves around you and grows warmer before a pair of lips slot against your own. Letting out a soft sound as you press your lips more intently against his own, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders, your nails no doubt digging through his shirt to his skin. Viserys’ other hand comes up to cradle your face as well, pressing a little harder into your skin as the two of you fervently kiss. 

When you break the kiss, he begins to guide you towards his bed, still slightly panting for breath. He guides you until you stand at the edge of the bed, “May I?” hand gently caressing your back. Nodding your head gently, Viserys begins to undo the laces of your dress while still maintaining eye contact with you. His fingers are quick yet nimble as they loosen the strings, and soon your dress is sliding down your shoulders, leaving you in nothing, as you had removed your smallclothes earlier. He raises a brow at this, “Ready are we?” gently teasing you, offering you a hand so you can step out of your dress. You giggle, more heat coming to the surface of your face. You ignore his comment and instead begin to undo the fastenings of his shirt, going through the clasps as quickly as you can. 

He shrugs off the shirt as you glide your hands featherlight down his chest. As you drag your hands down you also begin to slowly sit down on the edge of the bed, as your hands reach his breeches you gently palm the bulge that sits there. Viserys throws his head back with an audible moan that echoes lightly across the empty stone walls, eyelids slipping closed, his hands slightly clenching at his sides. You untie the laces and reach a hand in to grab his cock, one of his hands immediately comes up to loosely rest on the back of your neck, you lower his breeches just enough to pull his cock out, watching as it gently bounces up. Viserys is well endowed, it’s a good length and your fingers just barely wrap all the way around, the tip is pink and glistening in precum. 

Glancing up at him to find that he’s already looking at you, mouth parted and pupils blown. You realise that he’s waiting for you to do something, but you’re not exactly sure how to do it. You suddenly grow very nervous, eyes darting away from his own, he seems to notice this, bringing up the one hand that isn’t on the back of your neck to encircle your own, he tightens his grip and subsequently your own, before moving your hand up and down his length. He groans and speeds it up a little more, moving your hand to stroke over the head, collecting the precum on your palm to spread it and make the glide of your hand easier. “Oh, keep going.” words breathed out, continuously letting out groans as he lets go of your own hand to let you take over completely. 

You keep going for a while, slowly tightening your grip and speeding up which gives you a steady stream of moans from Viserys, until you remember something some of the married women told you about; how men found a woman using her mouth pleasurable. You toss a quick glance upwards towards Viserys before leaning forward and licking the tip of his dick. He gasps loudly, the hand resting upon the back of your neck moves to card through your hair, gripping it tightly. You do it once more in hopes of getting the same reaction from him, doing it again and again, then you take the tip into your mouth, gently sucking. Viserys thrusts his hips forward a little, “Keep going Braella,” his breathing picking up, “Keep going.” He keeps giving little thrusts as you take him further and further into your mouth. 

Eventually he gets closer and closer to the edge, quietly murmuring the words “Stop, stop,” as he pulls out of your mouth, his cock throbbing. He gestures a hand towards the pillows, “Get on the bed.” before he works to pull his breeches all the way off. You lay on the bed, slightly propped up by the pillows, watching as he climbs onto the bed, laying slightly on his stomach before grabbing both of your legs and throwing them over his shoulders, gripping your hips and pulling you towards his mouth, immediately beginning his ravishing. You let out a loud cry, hands going down to his head, grabbing his hair. Viserys licks and sucks on your clit, with various licks downwards to collect more slick, moaning out between ravenous slurps, the vibrations causing you to moan out and grind your hips against his face. He moves his mouth down to your opening, tongue prodding around to stretch you out as his nose now rests against the bundle of nerves. Pushing his tongue in and out as he periodically shakes his head from side to side, providing stimulation to both areas that makes you squirm around on the bed. 

The pressure builds up in your lower abdomen, warmth building deep in your bones. Viserys moves his mouth back up to suck on your clit at the same time he pushes two fingers into your hole, quirking them up straight into a spot that makes your head spin and sends you immediately into your peak. You let out moan after moan, not caring how loud you’re being and who could hear you. Your hands are still clenching in his hair, pulling on it and you’re bucking your hips up and down without abandon only for Viserys’ arm to come up and hold you down, his other hand still working you to completion. You squirm around as pleasure turns into overstimulation, moans turning into whines and gasps. 

“Oh- Viserys please! Viserys please, it’s-it’s too much!” He looks up at you, mouth still attached to your centre. His eyes crinkle at the corners as you feel his lips quirk around the edges before he doubles down, still working you through it, as the first peak melds into a second one. It’s a blinding pleasure, and you lose feeling of your limbs for a moment, slightly twitching and convulsing, riding your high. 

The second you come down you feel Viserys remove his mouth and fingers before he immediately slides his way up the bed, moving your legs from his shoulders to around his waist. There’s not even a moment for you to catch your breath before he’s pushing the fat head of his cock into you, the both of you letting out moans as Viserys slides in slowly, pausing as he reaches your maidenhead. He leans down towards you, lips slotting over your own, spreading the taste of you. One hand goes to cradle the side of your head while the other works its way under your back, pulling you flush against him. You worm your arms up, placing one around his neck and the other into his hair. Pulling his mouth away from your own he gives you a reassuring smile, the hand cradling your face thumbing against your lips. “I’ll be gentle, Braella, as gentle as possible. Are you ready?” offering him an enthusiastic nod at his question, lifting your head up to press your lips back to his own as he begins to move. He thrusts forward gently, continuing to push as he meets the resistance of your maidenhead, soothing your painful whimpers with a stroke of his thumb on your cheek and deepening the kiss. Viserys pushes until the painful pressure suddenly snaps, the pain dissolving into gentle pulses as he finally pushes all the way in. 

Viserys stills for a few moments, allowing you a little time to recover, then he pulls almost all the way out, the head of his cock still pressed snuggly inside, before thrusting back in. He immediately begins a steady pace, letting out a groan everytime he pushes in. He breaks the deep kiss that the two of you were in before trailing his kisses down your neck, sucking spots into the tender flesh. He works his way down to your chest, pulling a nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting gently before blowing cold air on it, causing you to cry out. Switching to the other side to continue the ministrations. 

He lets go of your nipple with a wet pop, lips slick and shiny with spit as he looks at you with dazed eyes, speeding up his thrusts. “I offer my apologies, Lady Braella, there’s no way that the Proud Lion would ever be able to make you feel this way. He’ll make for a pathetic excuse of a husband, and an even more pathetic lover.” You’re barely paying attention to the words he’s saying, the faster his thrusting grows, and the harder his pelvis hits against your own, the more lost you find yourself becoming. “Maybe I’ll spare you from such a fate, hmm? Keep you in my bed, keeping it warm, giving me heirs-” you let out a small whimper, clenching around him tightly. “Oh do you like that idea? The idea of me making you mine, of keeping you full of my seed? Warm and swollen with my child-” His words stuttering off with a groan.

The hand that rests against your face goes down to hold onto your hip, using it to pull you down on his thrusts. The change in angle causes him to hit something that makes white sparks shoot behind your eyes, letting out a loud moan. You begin moving your hips with each of his thrusts, letting the tip of his dick pummel against the spongy spot inside you. “Viserys please, please, I wanna, I have to-” Feeling the pressure build up quicker and quicker, you move your arms down to his back, nails digging half-crescents into his skin. “Go ahead, let go for me.” 

It builds, and builds, and then it snaps. You scream out, loud enough for half of the Red Keep to hear you, maybe even loud enough for your soon-to-be-husband and the rest of the wedding party who are waiting in the chapel for you to finish so that way you can begin the ceremony and thusly be locked away in Casterly Rock for the rest of your life. 

You can feel yourself clenching and pulsing around Viserys, he lets out moans that rival the audibility of your own, his hips stuttering, pace becoming uncoordinated. He pushes his hips flush to your own, dick twitching as he fills you with rope after rope of cum, it goes deep, and the heat from it makes you moan out. He does a last few little thrusts before pulling out, Viserys presses his hands to the insides of your thighs, holding them apart slightly so he can watch his spend slowly drip out of you, before scooping it up with a finger and pushing it back inside of you. You squirm to the side, too overstimulated for anymore, but too tired to really move away from him. The both of you pant for breath as Viserys removes your legs from where they hang over his hips still, allowing you to stretch them out, he then pulls you onto your side before laying down as well, facing you. 

You lay in silence for a moment, looking at the content smile upon Viserys’ face. Reaching a hand up, you push wisps of his recognizably Targaryen white hair out of his eyes and away from his face. He pulls you closer, letting out a contented hum as he presses a gentle kiss on your lips. Nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck you close your eyes, the both of you basking in the afterglow and taking the time to collect your breath, you feel yourself slowly slipping asleep, finding the utmost comfort in the bed of the King. 

After a few moments Viserys sits up, gently laying you back on the pillow and pulling the downturned covers over your body as the fires in the room had gone out sometime during your bedding, and now a chill was bouncing off the stone walls of the chambers. Before you can sleepily mutter out your confusion Viserys offers you a gentle shush, murmuring out a quiet “give me a moment.” as he stands to put on a pair of loose linen breeches and a billowy shirt, throwing a long red robe overtop of them. 

He leans down to bestow you with a small kiss, giving you a cheeky smile as he stands back up to his full height. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Lady Braella, I must inform Jason Lannister that he will no longer be getting married.”

~

Originally posted June 4th, 2023.