#i assume it must be the sleep schedule bc i am getting enough sleep just like. not at the right time

[wigglesforsquiggles]

WIGGLES!! How was your week :D♡?

ah u beat me again rain - i was surprised it was friday today (i legit have 0 sense of time anymore. i live in a vacuum of time and space.)

my week has been nice! i got back from spain on tuesday afternoon and have been chilling since. it took my until last night ((early this morning rly)) to finish unpacking lmao

uhh. nothing much else has happend. i have been v tired recentyl.. possibly linked to my declining sleep schedule (if im asleep bf 2am its a win).

i have been consuming a LOT of kpop recently tho.. like a lot a lot. zb1 my beloveds debuted on monday and their song 'in bloom' has be by the CHOKEHOLD. i keep singing it under my breath w out realising. thats my rec for u!!

ive been doing some f1 quizzes and such to pass the time- i can now successfully recite all the f1 world champions in order back to front and front to back :D this is the life i lead where this is smth im genuinly happy abt klfjgk

i hope ur week was good rain and i hope ur wekeend is even better !!

[realcube]

gaming with iida hcs 🎮

summary: the dekusquad are trying to teach iida to lighten up a bit and play minecraft with them late at night but iida is much more interested in learning from you

tw// swearing

thank you to @coledrawsstuff​ for this sweet request 💗

♡ ok so iida was doing his nightly patrols to make sure everyone was in their own room, sound asleep, and he usually doesn’t peek into other people’s dorms but he heard a concerning amount of noise from yours so he felt as though it was his duty to peer in, just to ensure everything was alright

♡ and to say he was shocked and appalled would be an understatement 

♡ also slightly sad bc you, midoriya, tsuyu, uraraka & todoroki were hanging out without him :((

♡ ofc he started the lecturing, the hand chops, the disapproving tone, the furrowed brows-- anything and everything to get the point across that y’all shouldn’t be hanging out so late at night 

♡ and when uraraka tried to point out the fact that it was a weekend tomorrow, iida simply dismissed her by arguing that a hero must maintain a good sleep schedule all seven days of the week

♡ he hadn’t even noticed what you guys were doing..

♡ his gaze followed yours to land on the screen hung up on the wall, examining it for while before turning to you guys like, ‘video games at this hour?’ but what he really meant to say was ‘why didn’t you invite me?’

♡ however, you could notice the slight traces of hurt in his voice which is why you were the first to offer him your controller, asking if he wanted a turn

♡ this conflicted iida to no end

♡ bc on one hand he really wanted to play with you guys but on the other hand, he felt bound to his job and role-model status to reprimand you for disobeying the rules of the dorms

♡ then you promised him that everyone would keep quiet so you wouldn’t disturb anyone’s sleep and it didn’t take much persuading for you to win him over, especially bc he really didn’t want you to think of him as a buzzkill

♡ as you insisted further, he’d eventually take the controller from your hand, making it extremely clear that he wasn’t the best at video games so plz don’t make fun of him aaaa

“alright.” he chuckled, awkwardly clutching the controller which looked miniature in his large hands, “i’ll play, but only for 20 minutes, then we will all head back to our dorms.” he said sternly, his sweet demeanour returning as he was met by an agreeing chorus of ‘mhm’s from the rest of you.

he smiled, taking a seat on the bed right beside you, practically breathing down your neck while his eyes were fixated on the screen with the chunky minecraft world displayed on it. “so where is princess peach?”

♡ FTRGYUI trying to teach iida that were was no rings, no princess peach, no donkey kong and no pacman in micecraft was a CHALLENGE AND A HALF 

♡ like you thought he was supposed to be smart but after the fifth time of telling him that he was was not playing as Ryu, you realised that his intelligence was probably a rumour smh

♡ although, the fact he wasn’t afraid of asking questions really sped up the process 

♡ you didn’t want to be rude so you tried to stifle your laughs as much as possible but midoriya and uraraka srsly just let it all out tbh 

♡ but luckily, iida didn’t take it too personally and just laughed alongside them

“so am i right in assuming this is a dog — how cute! how do it pet it?” he inquired, not waiting for an answer as he proceeded to right click the dog, hence hitting it. everyone’s eyed widened as they watched the enraged wolf start ruthlessly attacking iida. 

the sound of iida’s soul leaving his body as he desperately tried to run away from the animal was enough to make each one of you burst out laughing , besides todoroki, who cracked a slight smile and iida who’s face was glazed over with fear. “I am so sorry! that was not my int--.... i died.���

♡ after that, todoroki was able to teach him the controls rather quickly 

♡ also he made a dirt house and tsuyu made it look pretty for him with flowers and stuff (^人^)

♡ and the way he reacted to mobs attacking him was so wholesome >< ‘stop, fiend!’ 

♡ since he was sitting so close to you, you could feel his body tense up whenever a mob appeared on the screen which you thought was odd bc he was literally ready to kill a villain in a heartbeat but he’s too jumpy to face a enderman

♡ DSFGTHYJUHKI and when you playfully cradle his head in your arms after the tenth time he died and reassure him.......he’ll literally melt (❤´艸｀❤)

♡ one side of his face is on your forearm and the other is pressed against your chest - heaven 👼 he can pass away happily now 

♡ also he has an adorable habit of talking to the things in the game as if they can hear him

iida stared at the villager and it hummed back at him, “hello, sir.” he greeted the villager and todoroki jokingly mimicked the humming in response, “may i inquire about your trades?” he said, accidentally right clicking the villager; his breath audibly hitched as he did so but he let out a sigh of relief once he realise that it wasn’t going to fight back.

all of your eyes widened, exchanging a knowing look between one another.

iida continued to go about what he was doing normally, minding his own business until an iron golem assaulted him from behind. “ooft!" he exclaimed, his palm finding it’s way to the back of your head as you hunched over with laughter onto his knee. “where do i go?! will he ever st--...i died again.” 

♡ he’d be a bit more lenient with the time if he was enjoying it

♡ but you’d definitely all be in your dorms within 20-30 minutes of when he started playing

♡ and he’ll personally escort each one of you lol

♡ once everyone was safe and sound back at their dorm, he popped into yours once more to express his gratitude for the wonderful time he had 🥺

♡  and if he’s feeling especially confident he might make a move idk idk just throwing out ideas ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

[study-or-perish]

Things I wish I knew before freshman year of college

After being in college for a year, I’ve learned that some things that people told me were true and others were false. Now this is purely in my own experience so maybe I will prove to be wrong when you attend. Also, I am a commuter student so I don’t have any advice on dorms/apartments and how to deal with them. 

So seeing as half of my classes are in person this semester, I thought other people may be in the same situation as I am. 

emails will either be “Good Afternoon Professor Smith,” or “hey john” — whatever it is keep it short and to the point

the only profs that I actually call “Professor” are from gen eds/100 level courses. everyone else I address by their first name and none of them have a problem with it.

first day of class nerves are real here’s how to lessen it- scout out classes before hand, eat as you normally would on that day to avoid feeling sick, if it’s that bad just leave five minutes into class (chances are it’s not) you’re a college student you can leave, it’s not as bad as what you may think

KEEP THE SYLLABUS  it is your guide

8am classes will become hell as progress through the semester bc you won’t want to get up

your MWF classes may know about your TTH classes. Just so you know

don’t sit near the windows and look up to find the AC unit and don’t sit under it. You will be cold.

ice breakers are horrible and no one likes them, find a fact about yourself that you can expand on and use it for every class.

some classes will put you through your paces, go to office hours if needed

some profs are just unhelpful. Find another prof that would be willing to help

student tutors are not helpful at all

start studying for an exam at least a week early and get into that habit

raising your hand in class to ask a question is powerful because that means you’ve gotten far enough to actually understand what is going on

some profs won’t let you use a graphing calculator on an exam, bring a less complicated one with you as well.

some profs won’t let you use a calculator at all. sharpen up those basic math skills

if you have a genuinely bad prof, report them to the head prof of that department. If there is enough students who say the same thing they can take care of things :) (exception- tenured profs)

take public speaking your first semester and take it seriously. It really does help.

time between classes can be used for watching YouTube, studying, or taking a nap. Use it wisely.

always bring a water bottle and a granola bar with you anywhere you go

first semester may be exactly like high school but second semester won’t be as you will get harder classes

all nighters are not necessary if you study a little everyday

no one cares what you wear. HOWEVER if you want to be easily identified as a freshman on the first day, dress up really nicely. I just wore a school shirt and jeans, but I saw hoards of freshman girls with dresses and heels walking to class

speaking of clothes, I wouldn’t recommend wearing short sleeve shirts and shorts until you know the climate of the rooms you’ll be in. But that’s your preference

hand sanitizer. even after covid please continue to use it. There are sick people all the time on campus without covid

I believe an electronic writing device to be better than any paper or pens. You’ll have everything with you at all times without worrying about losing things

PDF scanner app

FIND A RELIABLE BACKPACK not a trendy one, a nice reliable comfy backpack with plenty of room

you don’t have to meet your best friends within the first day, week, month, or semester into college. They’ll come, it will be okay

you may make a friend that you later find out that they are horrible. End it quickly, ghost if you have to

if you feel lonely bc you have no friends bc you went to college on your own, please talk to someone about it. it does help even if it is a prof who asked you how your day is in private (not in front of the whole class)

everyone will think you know what you’re doing if you look confident. Doesn’t matter if you’re walking to class, doing work, or even asking questions. They’ll assume you’re higher in your education than you really are. I’ve had profs come up to me asking if I was a sophomore or a junior (I was a freshman in my first semester)

everyone and their mother will talk to you during the first week

no one will tell you about specific things (such as expenses, scheduling, etc.) seek it out if you find something you don’t understand

profs will tell you about due dates and exam dates, it may be brief but they’ll tell you

noise cancelling headphones are a must

group work is hell even if you know the members. my engineering prof says to make a contract that every one signs stating what they will do. present it to the prof if someone fails to do something.

stay away from populated areas that most people will go to such as libraries/tables/cafe. (covid related)

meal plans can be useless but sometimes you’re required to have one

Online classes:

a desk is best but sitting on the floor is a nice change of scenery

it is true that you should have a separate area for studying/classes but not everyone can do that. Try to angle where you sit either out of a window or face a wall opposite to where you sleep.

getting another monitor for my desk has been really helpful

tip from my computer science prof- look away from your screen periodically, humans are adapted to see far distances better and it relaxes the muscles. hang something up across your room to read every now and then to reduce eye strain. 

blue light blocking glasses can help reduce headaches 

you can do classes in bed if you want, I have and it hasn’t caused any problems

PDF scanner app

a planner is a must in this case to track when assignments are due

emails, emails, emails. All day.

my school has told me they can’t require us to turn on our cameras, so I don’t. even during exams. (It’s an invasion of privacy)

if you have to turn on your camera, don’t have a distracting background

turn in assignments one day early just incase something should happen where you have to email a prof saying that you’re unable to turn it in.

I’ll probably add to this as I think of things but for now… here is all I know

[madrut16]

July Fanfic Challenge Day 3: Closure - Part 1

Author’s Note: Another new pairing! I finished playing this book back in October for Halloween and ILB (which I haven’t really played bc I want a good ending and I cannot afford the diamonds to get it) and I loved it! This is the first book where I haven’t really been drawn to any of the canon LIs so, of course, I had to come up with this! I can’t wait to write more with them and explore these characters post It Lives. 

Pairing/Book: ILITW (Dan x MC)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: There’s one last thing Raina needs to do before she and some of the gang leave for the start of a new chapter of their lives in Seattle. 

The doorbell rang as I scrambled to finish packing my suitcase, and I cursed out loud when I checked the time on my phone. I knew I should’ve gotten up an hour earlier but I was never a morning person and it took forever to go to sleep last night. Sighing, I stared at the two plastic bins left in my room before running downstairs to the front door.

“I’m coming!” I shouted as I reached the entryway. 

I took a second to smooth down the stray hairs that had appeared in the reflection of the old grandfather clock attached to the wall. It was a silly thing to do since he wouldn’t care what I looked like this early in the morning. But, then again years old crushes made you do a lot of trivial things. 

With a satisfied nod, I finally opened the door. “Hey! Come in.”

“Took you long enough,” Dan commented as I let him inside. 

I gave him one of my signature eye rolls. “Sorry, I was packing.”

“Still?”

“I know, usually I’m much more organized but, I’ve been doing most of this by myself so it’s taken a while,” I explained as I led him back up the stairs. “I swear I’m almost done though, it’s mainly just my suitcase for the road trip I have left.”

Catching my gaze, his lips turned up into a smile. “Good, cause the others are gonna be here in about 15 minutes.”

“I could use some help then,” I replied as we reached my room where I quickly added, “And don’t worry, my underwear is already in there so you don’t have to touch any of that.”

This caused him to chuckle, although I thought I saw his cheeks turn a little red. Or maybe it was just all my imagination, hoping it was true. “Wasn’t even concerned about it. I’m happy to help if it means we actually get to leave on time for a pit stop for coffee and donuts.”

“At Diane’s?” 

“Of course, is there really any other option?” He answered with a smirk. 

After waking up from the coma and dealing with all of the repressed trauma from Mr. Red and Jane and Noah, it made me happy to see him finally starting to return to his normal self over the past several months. 

Packing the pile of sweaters I folded late last night, I responded, “Not in Westchester there isn’t. We’ll have to find someplace like it in Seattle.”

“Oh, I’m sure it won’t be that hard, it’s practically dripping in coffee shops,” he said, handing me the last stack of clothes on my bed. “What are we doing with those?” he asked, gesturing to the closet behind me. 

“Already have that covered,” I disclosed, walking over and opening the door to reveal several hangers wrapped in trash bags. 

Looking over my handiwork, an impressed expression appeared. “You...really planned this out.”

“Actually this time it was my mom’s idea. Once I get to the apartment, I can just hang them back up and take the bags off. Easy peasy.” I started collecting them from the closet and setting them in the one bin that was left unfilled. 

There was a brief pause and I could tell he was deep in thought, almost as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should. He always got quiet when he did this but, so did I. That’s how I knew he had slipped into his own head. Well, that and the fact that we’ve been best friends off and on for over a decade now. 

“Dan?”

“Hmm?” he snapped out of his reflective daze. 

“Penny for your thoughts? You got quiet there for a minute.”

Meeting my gaze, he shrugged. “Nothing, I just...it must be hard, not having your parents with you to help move in.”

A small wave of sadness came over me. For almost four years now it’s been like this, them having to miss important milestones and events of my life. They barely made it back in time for my graduation over a year ago. 

“My Nana’s...health problems definitely don’t have a convenient schedule,” I sighed. “Especially now that they’re getting worse. Who knows how long they’ll have to be over there this time. They are helping pay my portion of the rent so...I can’t really complain. They're doing the best they can and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah.”

I managed another smile, not wanting to think about it any longer. “Plus, your family will be over there this weekend before classes start, and they’re always there for me when mine can’t be,” I added. 

“They do adore you,” Dan agreed with a laugh. 

As we finished up the last of my packing, we continued our normal banter until it was complete. Right after that my phone chimed and I saw a new message from Andy in the group chat. 

Andy: I’m here with Ava.

Ava: Can confirm. 

Stacy: I’m on my way, be there shortly. 

Smiling, I sent a thumbs up back. 

“Well, we timed that perfectly,” I told Dan who was reading the messages on his phone. 

This earned me a boyish grin, and I bit my lip as it stirred up a wave of butterflies. “What can I say? We make a great team. Almost perfect even.”

Was he flirting? God, I scrutinized everything between us these days. 

“We really do, don’t we?” I raised an eyebrow teasingly as we headed back downstairs, bringing the bins and my suitcase with us. We set them with the others in the kitchen before letting our friends inside. 

“Hey, Raina, Dan,” Andy said, the morning not hurting his energy one bit.

“Hey, guys!” I exclaimed giving him a hug. 

I attempted to do the same with Ava but she dodged me and I settled for a hive five instead. “Nice try Raina but, it’s not happening.”

“Oh, I’ll get you to let me one of these days.”

She scoffed in response. “Hah, doubtful. It is fun to see you try though.”

I rolled my eyes as Stacy walked through the door. 

“Sorry, I didn’t knock,” she panted out of breath. “But the door was open so I assumed it was fine.”

“Of course it is Stace,” I told her before taking in her haphazard appearance. “Running late?”

She nodded. “I couldn’t decide what to bring! It took me an hour to finally sort everything out. Plus, my mother was delaying me. I don’t think she wants to be by herself.” She frowned momentarily.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Dan chimed in, trying to reassure her. At this point, it was almost second nature. “She just needs some time to adjust.”

“Yeah, I know,” she replied, exhaling the pent up stress she carried. “Doesn’t make it easier. At least Conner is there so, she’ll have some peace of mind.” She rubbed her forehead before painting on a smile. 

Andy cleared his throat to relieve the sudden tension in the room. Everyone knew why Mrs. Green was paranoid. 

“Ready to leave?” he asked, the keys dangling from his hand. 

“I think so,” Dan replied, his analytical gaze wandering around the first floor. “Right Raina?”

I’m about to reply when I remember something. There was one last goodbye I needed to say. However, it meant letting them in on the secret that I’ve been keeping from them. But, I wasn’t one to break a promise and I wasn’t going to do it now. 

“Actually, there is one thing that I need to do,” I responded, a nervous knot forming in my stomach. “It should take ten minutes, fifteen at most.”

I was met with four confused stares. 

“What do you mean?” Dan asked me. 

My gaze drifted to the window where the woods could be seen outside. “I need to visit...Noah.”

The name lingered, slowly sinking into each of my friends’ minds. 

“Wait...you’ve been...seeing him?!” Stacy exclaimed first. 

I had told them about what had happened between us and what he’d become right after that night but not much else. 

I reluctantly nodded. I was tired, exhausted of carrying this burden on my own. 

“For several months now. I know, he’s not exactly my favorite person either, and I definitely think him taking Jane’s place was the right thing to do,” I started to explain. “But, I don’t know, I guess he still deserves some mercy, some compassion still. I don’t want to leave him alone out there. So, I sometimes visit him every week or two, just so he has company.”

They all looked at each other and I closed my eyes, bracing for a confrontation. Yet, that’s not what I received.”

“We’re not mad,” Andy said after a minute. “Well, at least I’m not. I will admit that I’m not really that pissed at the guy anymore. And I’m the one whose leg got busted.”

Stacy and Ava still looked hesitant and I couldn’t blame them. Dan was quiet and deep in thought again but other than that, I had no idea how he felt and that scared me to death. 

“I’m not completely over him trying to kill us...but I will admit I am tired of holding a grudge,” Ava mumbled, her arms folded tightly across her chest. 

After a beat, Stacy sighed reluctantly, a guilt-ridden expression on her face. “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but...me too. That whole mess brought us back together when we never should’ve separated in the first place.”

That left one person. The person I needed to hear from the most. I willed myself to look at him. 

“Dan? Say something,” I begged. 

Please. 

He shrugged a smile appearing. “You were actually worried Raina?” he commented, and I released the air I had been holding in. 

“A little,” I admitted sheepishly. I should’ve known that he’d be the one I’d have to convince the least. 

“I never really faulted the guy,” he said. “I mean yeah he betrayed us, but it was for a good reason. He wanted Jane back, his twin. And he mistakenly thought that was the only way he could do it. So, I’m definitely fine with you doing this. I just wish you would’ve felt like you could tell us. Me.”

I physically felt the weight lift off my shoulders. “Thank you, for not hating me. I just...we weren’t there for Jane when she was like this and look what happened. I don’t want the same thing to happen with Noah. I promised I’d say goodbye before we left.”

“Then let’s do it,” he replied. 

I was taken a bit back as the others nodded in agreement. “You guys don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Just because this is what I need to find peace doesn’t mean it’s what you do.”

His response was immediate. “We’re a team, Raina. All of us. We got into this mess together so we should end it that way too. I think this could be good for all fo us. Well besides Lucas and Lily who aren’t here.”

“They can come with us when we’re here in December if they want to,” Andy said. 

A touched smile appeared on my face. I was so grateful to have them so entrenched in my life again. 

“Then let’s go into the woods.”

[divinelydivorced]

Javier Returns...

(Reader Suggestion: If you have not read the previous two postings from a year ago called Javier and Javier, Part Two, you should go back and get caught up on this wild Argentinian adventure.)

We reconnected recently when Facebook suggested we be friends. Oh, Facebook…constantly stirring up trouble.  Always a little too curious, I clicked “Add Friend.”  Then I immediately canceled the request.  Think this through, Lisa.  Okay…let’s think.  Well, I am single.  Although I’d like to give my last relationship another try, my ex made it clear this past week that he feels quite the opposite, so it is time to move on. Although, I had decided to not date for a while and just take some room to breathe.  But it was Javier.  Javier.  You didn’t date Javier, you had fun with Javier.  I clicked “Add Friend,” closed my laptop and resolved to let fate take its course.

Within minutes (because, yes, I kept checking-screw fate) he had accepted.  Then we both waited, with neither initiating contact that night.  To be honest, after a good night’s sleep, I awoke fairly content with our new friend status and happy to leave it at that.  The simple click of the button had satisfied my need for something exciting and perhaps getting together again would be too rash. Yes, I thought, this is what mature adults do.

About 48 hours after we declared our friendship to the world, he sent a message.  Ah-ha! Apparently, I had more will power. He asked how I was doing, how yoga was going, etc.  I waited a bit, then replied that it was good (more small talk), then asked how he was. Javier is not one for idle chit chat. So, he abruptly replied, “Fine. All good.”  It was quickly followed with, “Maybe I misunderstood but I am assuming u reached out bc u want to get together?  Let me know.  Otherwise hope it is all good on your end.”  Well, so much for being just friends.

I quickly blamed Facebook for pushing us together again but replied (trying to sound totally breezy), “Sure, if you want to get together that would be nice.”  As soon as I hit send, I panicked.  This time around, I really should be more in charge of the situation. Doorways and laps and liquor and yelling down the street…it was too much.  Inevitably each time I’d turned into a giggling idiot.  

So, in an effort to avoid straddling a motorcycle and his thighs under a streetlamp, I immediately followed up with “We should do something adventurous.  Let’s go rock climbing!”  To which he agreed.

We met on a Sunday evening.  I made sure to get there quite early so this time I had the upper hand.  Sure enough, as I was in a corner filling out a waiver, I heard him walk in.  Unlike his “wide open, staring straight at the entrance” stance from previous times, I took the opposite approach.  With my back towards the door, I focused on the questions in front of me as if I didn’t care if he ever showed up.  Out of my peripheral he watches me.  He comes closer.  I continue to stare at the form.  Closer.  Staring. Closer.  Staring but very much aware of his breath hitting my neck. Closer still…and then he bumps me with his hip, pulls away, and laughs.  He believes he snuck up on me…good.  (Like the ballerina…let him falsely believe I am the weak one and he is in control.)

We begin climbing and within minutes I realize I am not a climber.  It’s not that I don’t have the ability.  It’s that I don’t have the ability NOR do I have the desire.   So, I give it a couple of rounds and then take a voyeur approach. He climbs and climbs.  He falls.  Then he climbs some more…and falls some more.  The whole thing was really quite amusing.  Not just him but the other men around us.  The facility’s tag line should be, “For those in need of a testosterone boost.”

The whole thing is far more complicated than it looks.  To his credit, he never stopped asking for guidance from other climbers.  He would watch their moves, mimic them, and when he couldn’t quite get it, he’d ask for additional pointers.  Each time, the same spot would trip him up and he’d have to let go and hop down.  At one point, in a continuous movement, he leaps down, scoops me up, and sits both of us on the ground against the wall.  He sighs and stretches his sore hand.  Then he looks at me with a smile and says in his thick accent, “I know what you are doing. You brought me here to break me down. You wish to break down my masculinity. This I know to be true.”  I giggle, but this time because I realize he may be right.  When I don’t deny it, he runs his hands through his thick hair, lunges towards the wall, and in an attempt to use pure adrenalin tries to make it the top.  But down he comes with a swear and a laugh, as if he is applauding the wall as the victor.

He sits next to me.  We talk about life, where we have been and how we’ve grown in the last year.  I forgot how good he was at conversation.  He asked about my relationship, the man I’d committed to, causing me not to see him anymore.  I told him it had ended and when he asked why, I said I still wasn’t sure…that I was quite sad still about the whole thing really.  It felt okay to tell him this and he didn’t seem to mind.  In fact, his deep gaze showed there was an appreciation in the honesty of my words.  He let me have a few moments of silence as my mind and heart slipped back into the memory of that past relationship…wondering where he was and if he missed me at that very moment.  It wasn’t until I brought my gaze back to his, with a soft smile, that he gave me a very gentle kiss on the head.  He really can be quite sweet when he so chooses.  

He asked if we should climb some more and I said perhaps we should.  He again tried to tackle the same spot in the wall and continued to come tumbling down. His hands were getting tired I could see, so in an effort to take a break he slid back down beside me, scooped me up onto his lap and kissed my face.  I told him to stop because I didn’t believe rock climbing was big on public displays of affection but this only made him try to kiss me more.  

Sliding off of his lap while I laughed and he laughed, he said, “You’ve made my hands tired.  You’ve made my hands so tired that now I cannot grab you.  You can run away from me as I try to catch you and fail. This is why you’ve brought me here.” We then, being quite silly, act it out as if he’s trying to get his hands to hold me but I slip out.  This amuses us greatly and no one else seems to mind.

We begin to talk more, this time about what the week holds.  I go through my usual schedule, which is busy but not exciting.  Then he says, he will be gone for five days.  When I ask why, he stares off dreamingly and says, “I must go ride a bull.”  He continues to look away, pondering.  I replied with the normal response to someone saying they are leaving in two days to ride a bull: “I’m sorry, what?”  He then repeats himself, as if I had simply not heard him.  I explained I had heard him, quite clearly in fact, but needed more details to fully understand what was happening.

He then explained he met a man not too long ago who had just come from riding a bull in Missouri.  To hear the man tell of this adventure, to admit he would never do it again, to describe the exhilaration and the terror, he knew he must go.  So, he asked who to contact, made the call, paid the bill and started telling everyone in an effort to prevent himself from backing out.  Now, as he put it simply, “I must go.”

He asked what I thought and I said, “Well, I’m vegan, so I’m not thrilled to say the least.”  He said, “Ah, yes.  I remember this about you.”  Then I asked if he was scared, to which he replied, “Yes, of course.  It is a bull.  A bull.”  Then he said, “But think of when I come back.  Someone wants to challenge me.  I say, ‘Yeah, it is okay, sure.  But when you have ridden a bull, then we will talk.’”  He laughs at himself, knowing he will use this in many debates, knowing it will fuel his ego, and believing it to be one of his most brilliant ideas.  Then, just as I was writing him off as a typical man, he says, beaming, “Plus. Think of my kids.  Other kids will say ‘my dad does this’ and ‘my dad does that.’ My kid?  My kid will say, ‘my dad rode a bull!’”  And with that he scoops me back up onto his lap, attempts to make me kiss him, and then puts me aside as he runs toward the wall yet again.  As he slips off once more, he declares we are done.

We turn in our equipment and head outside. Our cars are parked in different directions and I’ve made it clear the night will go no further.  He puts distance between us and we smile at one another, another game of chicken.  Neither wanting to give in but both too tired to wait, we walk towards one another at the same time.  He scoops me up in his arms and is lifting me high as he walks down the street carrying me towards his car.  He screams, “I’ve got you now!  I can still catch you.  What will you do?” as I laugh and squeal, my head tossed back.  We’ve made a scene yet again, him yelling unabashedly and me a giggling fool.  Inevitably some woman who just got dumped will drive by, see us, and wonder how she finds something like that.  It’s the same thing I’ve thought so many times, lonely and heartbroken. Everything looks different from the outside.  We appear to be two lovers who happened to find each other in this crazy world. When really, we are just a small-town vegan girl craving adventure and a man about to ride a bull.  

After biting my ear many times, he puts me down and just holds me.  He wants to kiss me and I say he can but only if it is sweet.   He does not like this but I keep pushing his face away with my hand until he realizes I’m not joking.  He concedes, giving me a very gentle kiss on the lips and then one on the forehead.  (So, he does have it in him.)  He wants me to come home with him.  I say no. He wants to see me again.  I am silent as I smile.  He doesn’t like to wait.  I look into his deep brown eyes, slip out from under his embrace, and as I start to walk away say, “Go.  Go ride your bull.  If you make it back alive, call me.”