#i am very very bad w names but i was in a few servers at that time and was very happy to talk abt my degree

[lamellas]

hiiii :] sorry if this is out of nowhere but we were in a discord serber together in liek 2020 and you got me into the mechanisms and kickstarted my autism for anthropology and i just wanted to let you know its YOUR fault its my special interest…. (/silly)

i dont expect you to remember me cuz dear lird 4 uears but i just needed you to know :3 have a wondrous day

:00 is this the sever i did the Bones Class in bc if so i might remember u

[actualsunflower]

We saw you join the falloutwiki server after we invited you, but you left? We can't find you there anymore!

Im an incredibly skilled join-immediatly-leave-er in pretty much every server there is in the fallout fandom. Also we talked in person I know who you are whyd you send me an anon

I went on a slightly unrelated rant in the tags LMAO I already wrote it there's no going back

[havocspiral]

do you have any evidence about shittyclive being a groomer? genuine question

im glad you asked because he literally groomed me!

note for all of this i am going to be using he/him, i don't keep up with him enough to know exactly what pronouns he uses, if its anything different please tell me and ill update this post. he may be a groomer but im not a twat. also please be patient because my chronological memory is Horrible so i may not remember things in the correct order, but i have all of this written down and i Know that all of this happened

this all happened bc of a server i made called DAAC in ~May 2020 - that's where i met neil and also his friend K (not gonna name em but iykyk), along w a few other people. most of the ppl in that server were obsessed w sexualising me, especially neil. im not abt to put my age on the internet but it was. yknow. not fun, and everyone in that server knew my age btw because i trusted them and did not think that all This would happen (he also drew nsfw stuff and showed it to me)

anyway to cut a very long and unimportant story short, dated a guy, he was crazy, broke up w him and he stalked me march 2021 to ~july 2021, in that time neil attempted to pose as a sort of "protector" and in his OWN WORDS a father figure. side note my stepdad died in feb 2021 and i grieved too much and he dropped a frankly quite ass song abt it but i digress. yeah we got really close knit we were a "father-son" duo and when i tell you the ONLY THING HE TALKED ABOUT WAS SEX i wish i was kidding but our only topics were him telling me abt what he wants to do to his man of the month or how hes suicidal and AGAIN, absolutely inappropriate at the age i was. this lasted for so long that i began to break down entirely and becoming suicidal, also resorting to drinking and hurting myself, even going to crisis teams along with missing a LOT of school because i had become entirely dependent on him. basically he had me on a leash and was using me as a crisis hotline AND a sex hotline. i tried to cut him off multiple times in an emotional state and this obviously wasn't the best thing i couldve done but i literally saw no other choice. oh also during this time he suggested i have DID and i had a counselor for my stepdads death and. god damn he may be a weirdo but he was correct there ill give him that (he did also try to recount my trauma to work out how i worked as a system which. i shouldnt even have to explain how thats just odd)

(another thing i just remembered he sent inappropriate pictures to me and my friend, ill put her recount of it at the end of this)

one day i spoke to K, realised that was i was doing was wrong and attempted to talk about the situation with neil to which he was like. oh yeah i cant do this anymore bye and when i went to tell K he did the same. this was when i was in school which was rare, i just entirely broke down (also worth mentioning every time he told me about being suicidal i mentioned getting a therapist but he said he couldn't and i would also get all shaky and sob uncontrollably and basically be unable to function THATS HOW BAD THE DEPENDENCY WAS) and i had to be picked up bc it was that bad

i texted his instagram begging for at least and explanation and that i loved him and wanted to talk to him again (<- so manipulated it was insane) and he was like yeah but only on weekends and i felt such STRONG RELIEF and then when i went to sleep he went sike lol bye

remember the bf from earlier? yeah he faked his identity multiple times so i (at the time) was used to keeping tabs on people since. stalking. and i didn't want the guy to get the jump on me. so i kept tabs on neil for a bit, which i do regret and am sorry for, and one day he just disappeared? and honestly? i celebrated. also the ex from earlier faked his death multiple times so neils attempt at faking it this way was a dig at that specific incident. it didnt really work because i think about a day ish later he admitted to my friend (the same one from earlier, ill call her V) that he did it and wasnt dead

then he "apologised" to me and while i may not have screenshots for the most part he mentions what he did in the apology which is just. outright admission FROM HIM about what he did. he also admitted the apology was a total lie on his blog which i find funny because he frames it as a "gotcha" when i didnt even accept the apology?

also found out from an anonymous person who knew neil that apparently hes meeting up w people and also is violent w his friends which. ew

ok heres the evidence

(censored parts are for my own safety)

[pidgecv]

CHARACTERS RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i love spamming my tumblr sm bc i am insane i am so sleep deprived I might go to bed actually but i do not want to my hand hurts sb im going crazy i love them they are the reason I am able to keep going because when things get hard i get to think abt them and I feel less lonely i adore

mental stability who is she i only know minecraft (actually played earlier w my sister and cousin it was very funny)

(Bad financial decisions is a pair of mending shears our librarians r broken and won’t restock trades i might cheat to get a new one lol cheating to keep the game from becoming a drag is valid stfu) but we don’t spawn in things like weapons we just make it less frustrating to get them. For example, i spawned in a single netherite upgrade template, then burned a few diamonds that I would have used to make it. Then used that one to make copies legit. We (me) also legit built a mob spawner but it sucked and instead of spending two hours fixing it i fucking cheated to get it working it is so scuffed. The mob spawner is like free game. We kill each other so much over there the mob spawner is just BM simulator. We have keep inventory on so we don’t get frustrated since we play casually and just like to fuck around which means we can just kill one another for fun. CASUAL PLAYING BABY MY SISTER GOES INTO SPECTATOR (i gave her admin lol) TO LOOK FOR NETHER STRUCTURES BUT WE DONT USE IT TO CHEAT FOR NETHERITE WE R JUST LIKE THAT WE ALSO ARE ON PEACEFUL 80% OF THE TIME LIKE WE PLAY ON PEACEFUL UNLESS WE R EXP GRINDING I LOVE CHEATING WOOT

I found the above book after forgetting I wrote in it and I laughed so hard im such a dickhead (pepper is my sister lol)

also when my cousin was in the sheep skin and I started hitting him w the shears he started spewing wool at me LMFAO

he kept pulling his iron sword on me when I was tryna get the shears kill for the death message and the meme I have a netherite sword

We have a waterfront where we have stalls and I made a McDonald’s with leftover blocks we had laying around

I didnt put that window there but it looked so funny from the outside

Bubble elevator (i am a dickhead)

fyi this sugarcane farm is even bigger now

What. (That potato farm is gone now. Used to be a primary food source but we have sm steak and even more carrots that we were gonna use for trading so I made a scuffed as fuck farm)

House. (Where I’m standing in that photo is now the sheep pit (i need beds))

I am a dickhead

My sister was building a barn (why we had the concrete for the McDonald’s from earlier) but she hated it (it was ugly) so we blew it up with tnt (we made an event out of it). It looked like an among us. Also one time i accidentally shot and killed her cat (i was trying ti kill her) (it didn’t even have a name she had to make one up on the spot to put on the tombstone) but it had brought her a gift right before I shot it so it was kinda sad. I made fireworks and a lovely gravesite to make up for it (the berries i placed r annoying but too funny for me to get rid of honestly) but the barn looked like an among us so I had to make fun of her for it.

Pretty early on in the server’s lifespan. The dog hole is still there we have so many dogs. They are horribly neglected. Honestly I just have so many mc stories on this server especially. And in general too. I love mc i love mc i love playing w my sister and cousins. We vibe. We have fun. The world builds sm character. We’ve played on this server quite a bit too so there r so many fun landmarks and stories. i never get to talk abt this stuff but I can be cringe and annoying on tumblr without directly bothering any of my friends so WOOHOO

I am a dickhead.

This is an old world. I believe this is the one where we had “the beach house” (my sister was convinced that the beach house was pretty far away but turns out after I did some mass deforestation as i love doing it was literally in eyeshot of our main base LMAO” we also had a church. The world we currently play on the most is the longest we’ve really played on a server, which is super cool. It’s like the third multiplayer server we’ve all done and it’s cool to see how much we do things now compared to when we were younger. Our first world (i would love to see it again but it’s on my old kindle tablet at my grandmas house and idk if it even works anymore) i lived in a hole in the wall (it was epic) and we made a church of egg. We liked to bully my cousin by removing his perms and making it so he couldn’t open doors and I removed the pressure plate in his house trapping him inside. There was a trial for me and I dug out of the courtroom. Our second world I took up mass deforestation. I made a huge sheep farm and made so many beds for no reason. We weren’t even blast mining at all. I just felt like it. I built an among us on my other cousins house and dug a tunnel so I should steal her shit. I dug a huge hole with only stone tools. We had the beach house and another church (which looked really cool I did some texturing on it) and a dock and several farms. We played on that one longer than the first, far longer. However we never really progressed past stone and occasionally iron tools.

This current world we’ve progressed so much more. Partially because I got off my high-horse when it comes to keep inventory. We all play on fucking mobile so like we were casuals anyways. We have enchants, a multi-level house, several builds (complete and forever incomplete we don’t talk abt that one), the mob farm, good stuff. We’ve played for far longer and have gotten into numerous shenanigans. We have villagers and the house and builds look better than our old ones (i don’t build i build like the “when you let the miner build” meme my sister builds things pretty I just get stuff). There’s more history. So much that I don’t even want to try and get into it all.

tl;dr I FUCKING LOVE MINECRAFT

wait I had screenshots of me spawn killing my other cousin

LMAOOOOOO (I AM A DICKHEAD)

i meant it when I said the mob spawner is literally just BM simulator bro

[spn-season-16-chronicles]

The great chronicles of season 16

I'm making the chronicles and will be grateful if you tell me what I forgot. Also there might be one day difference - chronicles were made according to CET timezone.

The 5th of November 2020 - destiel is canon and homophobic (according to memes and also kinda in retrospect), we know after tweet mentioning also Putin stepping down and. While vote counting was taking place. Spn trending on tumblr and twitter. As well as Destiel. Over the presidential election.

The 11th of November - Misha stated that Cas loved Dean romantically, and the confession was of a very homosexual nature

The 12 th of November - 15x19 - two mentions of Cas (including Lucifer impersonating him, which implies that Dean reciprocated Cas’ feelings), plot resumed, speculations about parallel to Dean being pulled out from Hell by Cas

Whole week of build-up and speculations

The 18th of November - Entertainment Weekly publishes (now most likely deleted or strongly edited) videointerview with Jensen talking about wanting to have a keepsake of sorts. So he had a crew member record the confession scene with his phone, unadulterated, unedited, with no music. To remember it as Jensen and Misha's last moment on set, not Dean and Cas' final goodbye. Says they had a few takes, some more emotional than others. And that some things they recorded were cut. Unlikely he'll ever publish it, as it is his personal keepsake. In same interview he say that Kripke was the one to convince him that Dean's ending was good and Jensen should think about how fans would react to it

The 19th of November - The Episode That Must Not Be Named airs and is bad, and instead of a long episode we got one shorter than the rest of season finales and a documentary. Canons were not confirmed on screen (Destiel and Seileen). Subplot not resumed. No reunion with supporting characters, nor with Cas or Jack. People angry. Cast silent

Multiple charity projects as an act of rage against c*w started hours after finale

The 22nd of November - Misha saying that Cas had rainbow wings

Inbetween events anger, sadness, fix-it fics, jackles' silence, and conspiracy theories

The 24th of November - Destiel canon again but in Spanish - causes tumblr servers to shut down

"#They silenced you" twitter campaign

The 25th of November - Indian Netflix edit

The 26th of November - Misha is talking about rogue translator, and makes people angry. Apologises later that day and promises to listen to criticism. Misha remains the only one till date to address criticism at all

The 27th of November - The alleged leaked Italian dub tricks people into thinking that there was 2nd dub reciprocation on Dean’s part

The 28th of November - People freaking out because Obama followed stan twitter acc

The 30th of November - Italian dub (ofc) fake

Brazilian dub - speculations that Dean said something in ending scene, but those were only added sounds of birds tweeting

People continue freaking out cause Heller Obama

The 30th of November - Sarah Z uploads her Destiel/SPN video to youtube

The 5th of December - Misha announced fundraising for voting rights with cast and Stacey Abrams, and people were wondering what will happen, Destiel gets own ship category in hellsite's 2020 year in review

The 7th of December - info about Misha's nude photo floods hellsite, people making fanarts furiously

The 8th of December - Mini reversed Mishapocalypse - Misha allegedly has secret tumblr acc so everyone in here could be Misha. People frantically asking stans if they are Misha

Misha stirs the pot by tweeting about wild questions, weird acting choices, and cut scenes

The 8th of November (the evening) - meeting very uneventful, people tad bit dissatisfied, but in bloopers Jensen is making a joke about bottoming (or so I am told) . OH, and they were telling very weird story about Jared giving massage to Sebastian Roche

The 9th of December - Jensen allegedly states that Dean is bi and a bottom, no clear source tho, probably fake. End of Heller Obama

The 10th of December - denial that The Episode That Must Not Be Named even happened, shipping Jenmish as coping mechanism. Misha praised "castiel project" on Trevorproject and people thought that he donated 1000 bucks (but it was a big-hearted fan - we love ya)

The 10th/11th of December - Taylor Swift drops new album and people are looking for Destiel subtext - unconfirmed Heller Swift. And Stacey Abrams liked the ending (good for her)

The 11th of December - possible 3rd canon Destiel, because of script suggesting that something didn't make it to the final cut, but the authenticity is hard to define. Script hinting at romantic feelings at Cas' part including his POV "Still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester"

Authenticity of script confirmed by Adam Williams, of all people, who goes unhinged, for like 10 hours, on twitter after that.(The origin story of stuff like "pesky danglers", "New universes created if they'd kiss", "drunken brojobs" and "Dean clearly is alfa male. But who knows, alfas are very generous). Jared was praising the finale.

The 12th of December - Destiel going canon (?) for the 4th time because of rogue Heller director of LatAm dub. In his interpretation Dean was bi, and in love with Cas, and the English scene version was too subtle for love this big and obvious. Whole dubbing crew had same standpoint, so they went with it. They denied that any kind of reciprocation was in original script, there was no other audio

The 13th of December - spn trending AGAIN because of LatAm dub actors panel. There were a lot of widely contradicting statements. It looks like there never was reciprocation in any of English sources, but we cannot be sure. There was "I too" in Hispanic script changed by director to more expressive, better fitting to mouth movement version. Whole cast was on board with that version. Warner Brothers either did not check what was on final tapes or did not care, not knowing what kind of chaos would that version unleash. They probably accepted the script with "i too" but for now it is not proven to be true nor false. Talks about interview with director himself

The 14th of December - discovery of new beer from Jensen's brewery, named "Eyes like the sky" with very flowery and fruity description. Wave of conspiracy theories stating that it is dedicated to Misha because of "11 Jenmish" anniversary. Very few reliable sources. Conspiracy, very improbable

The 15th of December - sheer pain and lil bit of PTSD drags tags from supernatural to trending yet again. Probably triggered by walker trending first. Or other unknown reason. Collective confusion keeps destiel tag on trending for a good part of a day. Fandom officially restored to 2012 state.

The 16th of December - I'm not going to try explaining that... Thing. No, I'm not mad at y'all. Just disappointed. The amount of freakout about BILL CLINTON IN 2020 is astounding. The cause better be forgotten. Jensen had to post a vid to calm you down a little (it mean he did post it, not that he posted it do distract us, that was a joke). And also you summoned to existence articles about the alleged scandal in mainstream media (Newsweek)

The 17th of December - SPN tags still trending because of the aftermath of Bill Clinton deal and Jensen’s thirst trap. Scripts from season 8 dug up. Stating that Dean and Benny “broke up” either confirming yet again Bi!Dean or blatant queerbaiting and queercoding. Misha publishes tweet related to bees (and uses Cas spelling instead of Cass), starting speculations about secret tumblr account yet again

The 18th of December - Misha addresses the Newsweek article on social media. Unknown what does he think about the whole business. Taggs Clinton and Levinsky.

The 20th of December - all supernatural materials and promos get deleted from c*w's websites (including youtube) due to licensing deals. Full rights went back to Warner Brothers that was landing the license to c*w (an I guess who later landed that license to Chaos Machine)

The 25th of December - people analysing purgatory prayer scene from 15x09, claiming that it contains barely audible "I love you" that coincidentally or not gives a new meaning to the whole 09-18 Cas-Dean dynamic (and it even makes more sense that way)

The 31st of December - Mishapocalypse 2.0 has been started and was raging, taking spn to trending for the last time this year

The 3rd of January - Jim Michaels tweets photo from the finale, with caption that provoked people to comment with their critical opinions. Michaels blocks a lot of people that were criticising the finale (not only people that were hateful but also constructive criticism). That ignites a fair amount of drama on both platforms. Michaels likes antiheller tweets from w*ncest and b*bro accounts

The 6th of January - spn trending under US politics because of chaos surrounding Georgia election and insurrection in Washington

The 10th of January - hate speedrun with Greg Hopwood as a target - people in a span of 24 hours since the moment he confirmed that he supports destiel proceeded to spam his posts, demand his resignation (he’s a costume concept designer for the Boys), spam Kripke and other directors, and finished on a death threats sent via social media

The 11th of January - Jensen wins best actor in horror series Critics Choice Super Award, He thanks Jared and the whole crew

The 12th of January - Fandom loses it a little bit after Jensen thanks Mish and Dee on instagram

The 13th of January - Supernatural is officially the most streamed horror show of 2020 with over 20 billion streamed minutes. It’s ranked on 7th place overall

The 15th of January - interview with Jared for Variety is published. It consists of a few bad takes but also reveals that Eileen wasn’t Sam’s wife in any of the scripts he got. That triggers discussion about C*W’s misogyny and disabled representation erasure, as well as treatment of BIPOC representation in mainstream media overall. Leads to reevaluation od Jared’s standpoints and past actions taking place for next few days

The 19th of January - Chaos Machine productions gains official instagram profile and over 4k followers in one day

The 20th of January - hellers and Gen Padalecki getting blamed for rather bad reviews of Walker

The 21st of January - Walker premiers. Internet community not very enthusiastic

The 23rd of January - theories about new Family Business Beer Co. "Rainbow Road", and spam under instagram posts result in site partially disabling the comments

The 24th of January - celebration of Dean's birthday via social media and zoom. Chad Lindberg organises Harvella Roadhouse party via twitter. Gets adopted by fandom

The 26th of January - Kings of Con podcast with Misha premieres. People baffled by the lack of mentions of supernatural 

The 2nd of February - twitter drama with Jim Michaels gets reignited. Discovery of Sky Deutchland instagram post listing Dean as Cas' closest kin

The 3rd February - growing interest in Chad Lindberg's roadhouse idea

The 4th of February - group of twitter fans starts first real steps into fan reshoot of the finale. As of now the state of the project is unclear

The 7th of February - Misha's space pants get auctioned off, which kick-start a project to get those pants back to him

The 9th of February - premiere date for full 15 seasons box set gets announced 

The 13th of February - Kripke reveals that in his vision Sam and Dean were always supposed to die in the end

The 14th of February - fandom celebrates Destiel wedding on both twitter and tumblr. It trends worldwide for long hours on bird app

The 16th of February - fallout with Chad Lindberg and Samantha Ferris after some very bad takes coming from them, one of which was that queer reading would damage the integrity of the story

The 20th of February - tumblr meltdown that escaped containment pushed Steve Yockey into acknowledging it by saying he is in fact not dead

The 28th of February - Kim Rhodes states that she didn't watch nor she's going to watch the finale

The 1st of March - celebration of Jensen's birthday

The 3rd of March - german dub of 15x19 drops. It is romantic as well

The 5th-7th of March - first online con after the finale takes place. The reactions to the way the con was conducted as well as to its actual contents are very mixed. It invokes very strong feelings

The 9th of March - Misha joins Cameo as an effort to fund his community messages. Acknowledges "CastielMatters" hashtag and says that "Actually, CastielEnergies"

The 10th of March - premiere of 15x18 with french dub. Destiel proclaimed canon yet again thanks to more romantic reading visible in the translation. Wanek's book available for preorders. Website containing Dabb's letter that confirmed the big Harvella's reunion party that got scrapped due to covid

The 13th of March - Misha tweets at amazon about shipping. A clearly not serious thing. Shitstorm rages through the fandom

The 14th of March - Misha deletes the tweet and apologises for his joke

The 16th of March - fans publish cameo with Misha saying "still beautiful, still Dean Winchester" in Cas voice

The 17th of March - fandom celebrates Seileen wedding 

The 20th of March - 2nd "still beautiful, still Dean Winchester" drops 

The 21st of March - Saileen wedding celebra this time on twitter 

The 23rd of March - more twitter drama involving Samantha Ferris and Bi!Dean

The 31st of March - a fragment of 15x19 script with Jack's prayer gets leaked

The 1st of April - Mishapocalypse reenactment

The 4th of April - cameo with Misha reciting deleted bit from 05x04 The End gets published

The 7th of April - whole leaked last drafts for 15x19 and 15x20 are published. Number of cut and omitted scenes astounds fandom

The 10th-11th of April - Paris DarkLight Conline 2 takes place

The 13th of April - twitter drama between Jared, people critical of him and his fans

The 18th of April - 2nd draft for Tombstone gets published, reveals copious amounts of subtext consciously written into the text

The 22nd of April - fandom celebrates Midam wedding

The 25th of April - Q&A with Jerry Wanek, set designer takes place. He confirms that ever human who died was supposed to be at the Harvella's roadhouse 

The 26th of April - Misha sighting on oscar gala causes a healthy dose of positive chaos

The 2nd of May - fandom celebrates Sam's birthday

The 8th of May - DarkLight Conline 2 takes place

The 10th of May - footage from online con gets shared. Asked if Berens and him experienced any pushback regarding 15x18 says no, they were gradually clueing more and more people - most likely in fear of said pushback

The 15th of May - Galaxy Con Online takes place

The 18th of May - fandom celebrates Jack's 4th birthday

The 20th of May - stuff from the box set gets shared for promotional purposes 

The 21st of May - even more stuff from the box set gets shared through official channels 

The 22nd of May - full gag reel and deleted scenes from season 15 are published

The 23rd of May - featurette from the box set gets leaked. Fandom very unhappy with its content. Featured cast and crew give contradicting testimonies. More deleted scenes are published

The 25th of May - the box set officially premieres

The 18th of June - Russian dub of 15x18 gets published. It as well is more romantic than the original

The 25th of June - first info regarding prequel produced by Ackles' production company gets published. It confirms that they were in the process of acquiring rights to the series. The series itself is said to center around Mary and John and it would be narrated by Dean. And former spn writer Robbie Thompson will be involved in writing it.That reveal leads to Jared's twitter meltdown and possibly still ongoing fallout between J2. 

The 26th of June - Jensen says there will be no retconning in the series

The 30th of June - Misha posts pick of cas with rainbow wings for coming to an end pride month

The 6th of July - Great Dadstiel Wars wreck havoc on the webbed site

The 16th of July - Perfume Genius shares a self-insert fanfiction starring Jensen Ackles

The 19th of July - Fandom celebrates Jared's birthday

The 2nd of August - Perfume Genius shares next one of his fanfictions in "I slept with all actors in spn series" series. This time starring Jared 

The 9th of August - Castiel/Dean Winchester tag crosses a threshold of 100k fics on Archive Of Our Own webbed site, as a very first fic in history. Misha acknowledges that colossal event as well

The 11th of August - fandom creates hate askbloghs. For homebrew drama 

The 20th of August - fandom celebrates Misha's birthday as well as return of in-person cons

The 2nd of September - Misha posts on his tiktok acc for the very first time. Causes chaos 

The 3rd of September - Jake Abel launches his ad campaign for hot sauce. Employs Michael's and Adam's characters

The 4th-5th of September - Momento Con takes place

The 9th of September - dubbed 15x18 premieres in Italy. Unlike its fake counterpart from December it is very sonservative with its Iloveyou's opting for platonic version. This draws Misha's attention, and he publishes short video with his own "ti amo"

The 13th of September - anniversary of airing of the very first spn episode

The 17th-18th of September - Fan X Comic Convention takes place

The 18th of September - Fandom celebrates Cas Day/Cas' Birthday, commemorating his first appearance on the show

The 25-26th of September - UK Crossroads Con takes place

The 5th of October - Misha complains about the pain of playing in a queerbaiting show. Basically calling out supernatural on its queerbaiting

The 12th of October - Misha's poetry book, containing one poem from Cas' POV, officially premieres

The 15th-17th of October - Denver Con takes place. J2M reunite for the first time since march 2020. The highest of highs and lowest of lows

The 19th of October - The cule launches a emails writing campaign aimed at creation entertainment, taking a stance against censorship on their cons. The answer from creation being basically "we are not homophobic, we can't be homophobic, my son is trans and he works with us. Any eventual censorship is on the volunteers

The 4th of November - fandom celebrates eve of Destiel anniversary

The 5th of November 2021 - fandom celebrates one year anniversary of canon destiel. Loudly and unabashedly. Trying to revive the spirit of that night and reminiscing the events of last year

The 19th of November 2021 - fandom commemorates the first anniversary of cursed finale

Last updated: 31st December 2021

Thanks for the the info on the things that I’ve missed to: @clarasmoon @lostboyfromneverland5 @antifacas and @sinnabonka

And shout-out:

To the people who leaked 15x18 script (unfortunately i don’t know who you are)

To people who’ve put together 8h edit of Destiel scenes - @gaIlaghcr at twitter.com (go there for links)

To people studying confession scene with math and 3d models (can’t find ya, so can someone put a link below)

To everyone donating to charity out of sheer rage

Sources: tumblr hellsite dot com, twitter, instagram, mainstream media (pink news, newsweek and rest)

I for sure forgot about something, sooo tag me in other posts? Dm me, comment?

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Five. "You guys gossip about boys without me?"

warnings: swearing, mentions of emotional abusive/manipulation word count: 3.2k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

.

Y/n dropped her phone on the bed and slowly rolled off and onto the ground with a soft THUD. She grunted, falling harder than she expected but the dull pain now present in her right shoulder felt deserved somehow. Why did she think she deserved it? Maybe because she was an unconfrontational worm even when the person needed to be confronted because he hurt her more than anyone ever had.

She closed her eyes and wiggled to get comfortable on the thin carpet in her room. Laying on the ground was relaxing to her, forcing her gamer back to straighten to how it was intended. It helped her think, being on the floor. She didn't know why but she didn't question it. Just laid on the floor in acceptance with the dirt and forgotten candy wrappers.

Why didn't she want to respond to Peter? Well, years of being with him and even the months of not being with him had taught her that her ex liked to get his way and liked to take his anger out in her verbally when he didn't.

You could say she's heard some terrible things over very simple inconveniences.

Y/n slowly pattered to her desk and slid on her headphones, finding the discord server Dream said he and George were on. It was a server that a lot of their friends were in, one that Y/n hardly went in since she still hadn't met a lot of them and wasn't super comfortable with talking in it yet.

She scrolled through the various text chats, one for boredom, one for stream questions, one for memes, one for pictures of pets, one for.... discussing the inevitable takeover of rats...? Y/n wasn't sure what that was about but she knew she didn't want to find out. The list went on. She was pretty sure they had made a channel for every possible message someone could ever send.

There were equally as many voice channels, most of them titled with the names of different games for when they only played with each other and didn't stream. Some of them were just random names and she noticed there was one to match the rat takeover text channel. Okay, who was responsible for that?

After what felt like an entire scavenger hunt and with many new questions in her mind, Y/n finally found the voice channel Dream and George were in and clicked on it. It was called memerz-only.

"I'm not a memer, am I allowed in here?" she asked. She hadn't realized how messed up her voice was since she hadn't talked all day.

"Holy shit, Bug, you sound awful."

She scoffed a laugh. "Thanks, Dream. Really means a lot." She did sound pretty scuffed. Her voice was a little scratchy from not talking literally all day.

"You doing okay, Bugsy?" George asked kindly, to which she hummed.

“I just have one quick question...”

“Mhm?”

“This is simple, please don’t elaborate further. There’s a channel on this server... did you guys mean rat as in BadBoyHalo’s dog or rats as in rats?”

Neither of them spoke for a minute before George understood what she was referring to. “Oh! Rats as in rats.”

“Okay, thank you.” 

“Yeah, Quackity—“

“No!” she interupted. “No! I said I don’t wanna know. I really don’t. I’m too afraid to understand.”

“Wha- HA, okay.”

“Good choice, Bugsy. I wish I didn’t know what it’s about. It’s a lot weirder than you’d think.”

“Now that that’s settled,” Dream said with a laugh. “How are you doing, Bug?”

"Neither of you are streaming, right?" she asked, doubling checking the twitch app on her phone to be sure.

"No."

"So I don't have to pretend to be happy and bubbly?"

"No, you can be as mundane as you'd like," Dream said. "We don't mind."

"Yeah, honestly, most of the time when Dream and I are on calls alone it's just us being super boring and hardly talking."

"That's..." she paused to find the right words and decided with, "actually really cute. You guys just enjoy each other's presence."

George scoffed and Dream giggled. "See, even Bug says we're cute, Georgie! Why can you tell me you love me?"

"I'll leave right now if you don't stop," George threatened. "Can we go back to how Bugsy's miserable?"

"I'm not miserable, I just..." she hesitated. She had already told George about why she was having a bad day, but Dream?

She didn't want to tell Karl because she knew he would yell at her. She didn't want to tell Sapnap because she didn't trust him not to tell everyone (on accident, of course). For some reason, it was a different kind of hesitation than with the others that made her not want to tell Dream. She didn't want to tell him because she didn't want to be... embarrassed? Maybe that was it. She thought it would be embarrassing to tell Dream about how her ex-boyfriend treated her like shit and how now he wants to get back together with her. Plus, she knew how everyone else individually would react but Dream was a complete mystery. Maybe he'd yell at her too and say she's stupid for being affected by an ex. Maybe he'd break down crying for some reason? Who knows?

"You don't have to tell us," Dream stated. "Seriously."

"It's embarrassing," she said, tucking her feet beneath her on her seat. As she said the words, she decided they felt right. She was embarrassed. "But George already knows."

Above everyone else, Y/n was okay with telling George about her situation because he and her tended to talk about their troublesome relationships quite often. He always came to her for advice and she to him. They were very similar in their ways of thinking and seemed to have lots of similar dating stories, even if neither of them knew what the hell they were doing. She knew he'd never judge her for thinking unclearly since he tended to do the same.

George hummed, not knowing what to say since she hadn't said much. She could tell he didn't wanna say something that might make Dream more nosey and start hounding her about telling him.

"What hap—never mind. Not my business," Dream said quickly.

"No, I mean, I kinda wanted to talk to George about it again anyway so I guess you can join in on the gossip." Guess my mouth decided for me on this one, she thought.

"Wait, what? You guys gossip about boys without me?"

"Oh my gosh, don't say it like that, Dream," George groaned. "Bugsy and I talk about relationship problems a lot, yes. Not just boys."

"How did I not know this?"

"Because you don't know a lot of things?"

"It's normally George sending screenshots of text conversations with girls and asking me how to let them down gently," Y/n explained with a giggle.

"Or Y/n talking about her asshole ex."

"George! What do you and Karl not get about not calling him names?"

"I'm so lost," Dream mumbled.

Y/n sighed. "Okay, well," she cut herself off with a groan. "It's so embarrassing. Basically, my ex asked me to 'chat' this morning which is code for he wants to get back together—"

"Do you know that for sure?" Dream asked.

"Yeah, we already decided that," George snapped. "Let her finish."

"Sorry."

"So he wants to get back together and I feel stupid for wanting to listen to what he has to say."

"How is that embarrassing?"

"Because he hurt me and I feel like an idiot because him even suggesting that means he doesn't realize how badly he hurt me. It makes me feel like, I don't know, like all the time I spent being upset was for nothing," Y/n explained in a soft voice. "And because his simple, like, five word text made me freak out all day to the point of exhaustion."

"I don't think you should be embarrassed, Bugsy," George offered.

"Have either of you, uh, have you ever considered dating an ex?"

"Didn't you just say he hurt you badly?" Dream asked. "You aren't thinking of getting back with him, are you?"

"No... but I want to stay friends so maybe I should hear him out?"

"Well, I've never gotten back with an ex," he said bluntly. "But to be fair, all my relationships have ended badly or for bad reasons so I've never wanted to see any of them again. Staying friends depends on why you and he broke up, I guess, but..."

"Um, how do I put this..." she trailed off. "He was mean to me."

"Then no? Simple."

"But I've forgiven him and I think he's changed."

"People don't change that easily. Didn't you break up like, a few months ago?" George asked.

"Yeah, but—"

"Honestly I think if a guy was ever mean to you he doesn't deserve any more of your attention," Dream decided. "So, no. Don't even be his friend. Don't listen to a single thing he has to say."

"That's what I told her," George agreed.

"If that were the case, you guys shouldn't be friends," she argued. "You're mean to each other all the time."

"But we know it's a joke," George defended.

"So you're saying if someone is ever purposefully mean to you just once, you drop them forever?"

"Well, no," Dream said. "Not exactly. But it sounds like he was super mean to you since it's why you broke up."

She took a deep breath. She didn't want to go into detail. She was already uncomfortable enough talking about her personal life so much, but she trusted both of them and needed to get it off her chest and they were there and willing to listen. They had already established wanting to listen to her if she wanted to speak and right now, she wanted to speak. Maybe not the full story, but at least some. "He, um, well, the mean things he said, he said because he was trying to get me to see what he thought was the truth about myself."

Both of them were silent for a few moments. "I'm still confused," George admitted.

"Me too... But you don't have to tell us." Dream explained again. She thought it was sweet that they kept reassuring her that.

"I know, but I want to. If it's not too much for you guys..."

"No, go ahead, if you want."

"Uh, he lowkey emotionally manipulated me by telling me I wasn't good enough for anyone and stuff and how he was the only one who could ever love me. The second part he said truly believing that he was being romantic. There are a lot worse and specific things engraved in my brain but that's the gist of what he would tell me. He made me believe that I could never leave him because I could never be loved by anyone else. But he said it all in a way that... he thought he was just... letting me in on something no one else had the guts to tell me."

George gasped. "What?! Bugsy, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was like that."

"Woah, what the hell? No. Absolutely not. Don't give this guy a second thought. Cut him off for good," Dream said sternly, angry that anyone would say that to anyone, especially to someone like Y/n. "Wait, so, you broke up with him?"

"Yeah. After Karl yelled at me a lot and explained his outside point of view, I finally realized Peter was gaslighting me and emotionally abusing me and stuff so I dumped him. I guess right now I'm just upset by it because I thought we were past this and I was healing and him reaching out affected me again. I'm just emotionally exhausted. Like I said, it hurts to know that he doesn't realize what he did to me."

"I'm really sorry, Bug," Dream said softly. "Gimme his address and I'll punch him for you."

She laughed through her nose. "That's okay. Thanks."

"Yeah, she can go set his house on fire if she wants. She's proven that already."

"Shut up, George," she said with a small laugh.

"Wh......at?" Dream stuttered and George briefly explained.

"Well, Bug, just so you know, in case you weren't aware, you're really cool and sweet and funny and we really like having you around–" Dream started.

"Oh, ugh, no don't do this," she tried to joke but he ignored her as he continued his speech.

"–and you're way too good to be hanging out with either of us, and whatever that asshole was showing you wasn't love. 'No one could love you like he did' because what he was doing was not love, it was abuse." Dream's voice had a certain gentleness to it as he spoke that comforted Y/n and made her believe him. He was blunt but it didn't stab her in the heart like it should have.

If Y/n ever cried, she might have just then from how sweet they were both being. But she didn't because that wasn't something she did. She never cried over anything Peter said, never cried during movies, and didn't cry then. But she did smile very fondly at the Discord screen in front of her.

"Thank you, Dream."

"You know I'm not good with words, but, yeah, what Dream said," George said. "I'm sorry you had to go through that thinking it was normal. Please, please, do not get back together with him and please don't be friends with him."

"He's fine as a friend though."

"Bug. Whether he's fine as a friend doesn't matter, he doesn't deserve to have you as a friend. He treated you like shit, it's okay to be a little cold to him."

She sighed. They were right. "Okay." There was a long pause before, "thanks, guys. Sorry for coming in here and dumping my problems on you—"

"Don't be sorry," George said. "We're the ones that asked you to come in and share. We knew what we signed up for and don't regret it."

"Seriously, Bug, we care about you. You're allowed to, you know, talk about yourself." How did he know that's what she meant by that sentence? The way he could read her mind was heart-warming.

"Also, George knows this but Dream, there's a strict no-telling policy about this kinda thing. Please don't tell anyone."

"I wouldn't even think of it," he promised. "My lips are sealed."

"Good."

A soft animal noise came from one of their mics and Y/n strained her ears to listen. "Was that a cat?"

"Patches has entered the chat," George joked.

Dream chuckled. "Yeah, my cat just jumped on my lap."

"Aw, you have a cat? Lemme see lemme see lemme see!" Y/n begged. "Partly because I would love if we could stop talking about my ex-boyfriend and the other part because I love cats."

"There's pictures of her in the pets channel on Discord—"

"No, no I want a picture of her on your lap. Is she all snuggled up?"

"Yeah, she is."

"PleASE, Dream. I need to see the snuggly cat."

"Fine, fine, if you insist. Give me a second."

A few moments later, she got a DM from Dream and smiled at the picture. His room was dark but the computer screen cast a cold glow over a ball of fur on a lap clad in sweatpants. "Awww, she's so cute."

"Dream, I wanna see it too," George whined. "Send it to the pets channel."

"I'm literally making this my lock screen," Y/n informed, making Dream laugh.

"No, George, it's only for Bug. She's had a bad day so she gets exclusive Patches content."

"What? That is so messed up."

"You know what's messed up, George?" Dream asked. "You never come to me with advice on how to reject girls. We're on the phone for 12 hours a day but you can't talk to me about girls? Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"You'll just make fun of me."

"Why would I? What makes you think that?"

"Because Sapnap and I make fun of you? So obviously you and him would make fun of me?" George said with a laugh.

"....that's fair."

Y/n locked her phone and clicked the home button to admire her new lock screen. "I love her," she whispered.

Dream and George both laughed. "I'm regretting sending you that. You're gonna, like, make a shrine or something."

"What would be wrong with that? She's precious. She deserves a shrine."

"Yeah, Dream, you're the one that feeds her gormet cooked food," George teased with a laugh. "You probably have a shrine."

"That's normal! That's what people feed their cats! That's completely normal!"

"I don't," George countered.

"Then what do you feed your cat?" Dream asked.

"I dunno, normal cat food?"

"Wait! You have a cat too??" Y/n asked. "I feel like we're missing a huge detail and it's that George never told me he had a cat."

"And a dog."

"WHAT? GEORGE! Send me pictures!!!!!"

"I can't right now, it's like three am. They're sleeping. Look in the pets channel."

"You're the worst," she grumbled, clicking and scrolling to find his pets. She saw a lot of cute pictures of other peoples pets along the way but couldn't find George's.

"Hey, do your animals have English accents?" Dream asked, making Y/n laugh.

"What?" George scoffed. "You're so stupid."

"How would that even sound?" Y/n asked.

"Like..." Dream thought, preparing to test out how it would hypothetically sound. "Meow," Dream meowed in his best accent, failing miserable.

"Oh gosh, never do that again," Y/n begged.

Dream laughed into his mic. "That was disgusting. George, I really hope your pets don't have accents."

"They're animals, so probably not. And if they did, it definitely wouldn't sound like whatever that was."

"Oh come on–"

"OH I FOUND THEM." Y/n announced as she found a message from George in the pets channel with the message 'heard we're sharing our pets'. "GEORGE. THEY'RE SO CUTE."

"Are you gonna make them your background picture now?" George asked.

"What, no way! It's Patches!" Dream scoffed.

"Yeah, I'll make George's pets my home screen. Oh, what a good day." As soon as she said it, a metal bowling ball fell to her stomach, reminding her of all the reasons it was, in fact, not a good day.

She got off after a while, feeling the weight of a particular idiot man's stupid simple text catch up with her again. She thanked Dream and George for letting her join, they invited her to always hang out with them, and she went on her way.

Y/n fell on her bed and curled up under the covers as her mind started to wander from Peter to Dream. She was really glad she met him. He was a really good person and he was always so incredibly kind to her. George and Sapnap and Karl were all great friends, so caring and understanding and always looking out for her, but Dream was different and she didn't know why.

Maybe it was because he seemed untouchable still, like he had no reason to hang out around someone like her. But he wasn't untouchable in the celebrity was since he had a large following, because all of her friends did and they didn't seem untouchable. Then what was it? What set him apart from, say, Karl? She trusted Karl with her life and had known him for quite a while. She knew Dream for maybe a few weeks and almost trusted him the same amount.

Why?

She picked her phone up off the bed and pulled up Twitter, deciding to DM Dream since he was already existing in her mind rent-free. Might as well make him pay his rent by bothering him.

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PREVIOUS | NEXT

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A/N: EEEEEEEE I hope that all made sense lmaaoooo basically yn ex = gaarrbbaaagggeeeee and ruined her self-worth a lot!! not poggers!!!!!!  THANK U GUYS FOR BEING SO SWEET ALL THE TIME ALL FOR ALL THE POSITIVE FEEDBACK ON ALL THE  CHAPTERS!!! I love seeing you guys make predictions and tell me how aljkDFB chapters make you feel bc same :/

taglist: OPEN (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn​ @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @jabby16 @mae-musicbitch @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk 

[ray-ray-writings]

can you do like a drabble of like— i’m thinking of how to word this.. the reader is sams kid (in game ofc :3) and is like best friends with tubbo, tommy, and ranboo. just like i want to be their friend 😭 - 🍦

Even though I am a 20 year old American woman, I so very badly want to be there friend lololol.

You would meet them through your father. I feel you two would just be on a walk down the Prime path when your father’s name was called out from behind you by three unique voices. You two turn around and find the two of you are now being charged by three boys. Not knowing who these boys are, you begin to hiss after all, you are part creeper. But the three stop dead in their tracks and their eyes all flicker to Sam in a panic. But Sam’s hand comes and rests gently on your shoulder, “Y/N” His soft and grounding voice fills your ears, “It’s alright. These boys are friends. There is no need to go in defense mode.” At his words, you let out a soft breath and stop hissing as your cheeks fill with heat in embarrassment. “Sorry” you murmur, slightly glancing at the boys, but then to the ground. “It’s alright darling. You didn’t know. You don’t have to apologize for that. Deep breath,” He hums before taking a deep breath himself, helping you take a deep breath with him, calming down all the way. Once you’re completely calm you look up and see the boys have gotten closer to you due to your father’s beckon. “Boys, this is my kiddo Y/N. Kiddo, these are the boys. Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo.” He introduces. You shyly stick your hand out to them, “It’s nice to meet you.” Tubbo is the first one to grab your hand, “You too!” He cheers, shaking your hand enthusiastically. You also shake Ranboo’s hand who gives you a warm smile, and then you turn to Tommy but his gaze is focused on Sam. “SAM!! Why didn’t you tell us you had a kid? And a kid our age at that?!?!” He shrieks causing Sam to laugh. “Because I knew you would react like this. They’re a little shy, as you saw, and I didn’t want to overwhelm them” Tommy lets out a huff but turns to you and grabs your hand and shakes it. “It is nice to meet you. I wish it had been sooner, but I’ll take what I can get…. You want to hang out with us?” He asks. You look over to your father who gives you a small encouraging nod. So you look back to the boys and give them a small nod, “Yeah! I’d like that.” “Alright let’s go!” Tommy shouts, wrapping his hand around your wrist and pulling you along. “Hey wait! What did you guys need in the first place?” Sam calls out from behind you four causing them to pause for a moment. “We wanted to see if you wanted to hang out… But we’ve found someone better… Maybe next time!” The words cause Sam to laugh but gives you a wave and so off you go.

You four are so chaotic together. Like a lot of the time you and Tommy are forming prank ides and stuff for others on the server and Tubbo and Ranboo are like “Tommy, Y/N no” but you two are like “Tommy, Y/N yes!” And egg each other on. Sometimes you guys get caught and you have to take the heat and convince who ever it was that you pranked that you four were not involved in anyway… Nope, no sir not you four. Whoever it was you pranked never really believes you but you’re so well liked on the server that they let it slide. Sometimes you four will pull pranks on each other. Just little things like hiding something from each other or stealing something. Using invis pots and following them around. Cutesy funny stuff like that that make you all laugh at the end of the day.

You four are always there for each other, both physically, emotionally, and mentally.

You help Ranboo with his memory issues. You’re always very patient with him, helping him remember the simple things he may have forgotten. Just simple things like where he put things or what he was planning on doing that day. You also spend a lot of time making sure that he never feels overwhelmed. But if he does, you’re always there to help calm him down. You can very easily bring him back to reality and bring him back to earth. Reassuring him that he’s okay and that he hasn’t hurt anyone and that you’re not going anywhere.

With Tubbo, it’s making sure that he is okay from his time as President, and even before that. His time with Schlatt had a big effect on him and then the whole weight of the country was put on him at a very very young age and then it blew up… Twice… So you always assure him that he did the best he could with the cards he was dealt and although looking back now, you don’t agree with all his decisions, you understood why he made them. You tell him he can’t change the past but he can shape the future and make sure the things that happened never happen again to anyone.

For Tommy, you spend a lot of time standing up for him. It seems everyone is always being mean to him or picking on him, calling him annoying and stuff. He tries to brush it off, let’s out a laugh and tries to let it run off his shoulders but you can tell it hurts. So you stand up for him. Tell the person, whoever it may be, that Tommy is not annoying, they just are a big baby. They can’t handle it. You would then go on and talk about how amazing Tommy is and how much he’s done for his friend’s and family. How he is a fighter, how he’s fought for the things he loves and that are important to him. You often run out of breath and the person that was picking on Tommy simply mumbles an apology before rushing away. You would then pull Tommy in a hug and assure him that he was not annoying and that he was the best friend you’ve ever had. He will never admit it, but after that he goes home and cries. Tommy just cannot believe that you would do that for him…

The boys always have your back too. Whenever you begin to hiss and seem on the verge of exploding, the boys will always calm you down. Whispering words of reassurance and calm trying to get you to calm down. Tubbo usually pulls you in a hug and is like “You can’t explode now… Or I’ll be in the blast and we can’t have that” which causes you to giggle and calm down. I feel like you would get a lot of headpats because Tommy and Ranboo are def both taller than you and they want to show you affection for calming down. If anyone ever makes fun of you, you can bet your ass they boys are prepping to throw down. Like there have legit been threats of war because someone called you weird. One time, the four of you were talking to Dream and he made a slide comment about you and Tommy legit had to be restrained by Tubbo and Ranboo because he was screaming curses at Dream and almost punched him the face. Sam just so happened to walk by and find the scene and he rushes up and grabs Tommy from the two other boys, he is a lot stronger than them combined lol. But he asks what’s happening and you reluctantly tell him and his demeanor shifts to a whole darker tone. He let’s go of Tommy and pushes him toward the three of you that had gathered side by side. “Kids, go play… Or go do whatever you kids do… Dream and I are going to have some words.” “Dad-“ you try to interrupt and stop him, but you are very quickly being ushered away by your best friends to go explore or something. You never have a problem with Dream after that.

You four can almost always be found together or broken off into pairs. Whenever someone is looking for one of you, they absolutely will have to find all of you. You can usually be found in Tommy’s house, in your house, strolling around what use to be L’Manberg, or Snowshire. Sometimes you for will just leave and go on adventures, only telling Sam where you were going. You four weren’t really ever going anywhere, you were just exploring. You might be gone for a few hours you may be gone for a day or two… Who knows. But you four just explore, taking in anything and everything. You’ve found so many biomes and villages on your journeys. Tried so many new foods and smelled so many new flowers. These would be the times where you four can just let go, be kids. No country to run, no wars to fight, no manipulative assholes to worry about. It’s just you four. And you’re best friends

This was so bad lol. But I hope you enjoyed either w

[themoralgoats]

W. what happened in the moral orel discord ........

Ok for a little anonymity (and to lighten things up for myself) I’m referring to everyone involved other than myself as Moral Orel characters and said characters’ pronouns. Insanely detailed explanation below

For context of what you’re about to read, I’d like to mention that

“Dottie” and “Agnes” stan Clay, like Danielle, hate Bloberta, make these things very clear (like the way they are about it could peeve someone who doesn’t necessarily disagree with them on those feelings) and as you might guess have been what’s been on my mind during multiple posts here complaining about clay stans.

This server was taken off Disboard and had invites turned off due to constant raiders in every public Moral Orel server. They’ve stopped but the owner of the server officially vanished off the internet beforehand. This helped kill the server notably, which probably contributed to the length of the following drama. At the moment any member is allowed to get invites to give friends, and as of today it would be back on disboard (and probably open) if we were technically able to.

Ok so Reverend Putty suggested for defenders of Danielle (the character; to avoid confusion I’m not nicknaming anyone after him, Clay, Shapey, Orel, or Bloberta) that Danielle “did everyone wrong”. Dottie replied saying that he did that “and slayed”. Agnes agreed saying he’s hot too, and the two had a back and forth about how cool Danielle is.

The next day Reverend responded to Agnes saying that he’s not that great, especially compared to a certain background character that’s somewhat of a meme in the server. Agnes said said character is an overhyped background character with no lore, unlike Danielle who does and is also attractive, blond, queer, and mustached with the latter statement having a lot of emojis. She and Dottie had another, shorter back-and-forth of agreement about how Danielle is awesome and the bg character sucks.

Five days later Joe replied to Putty’s message with (and I quote) “L opinion argue wit ya grammy + Danielle did nun wrong in my eyesight 😍 😍 🤭 🤭”.

A day or two later (aka yesterday at the time of me writing this) Reverend Putty responded to Joe by saying he must be blind to not notice him manipulating Bloberta, Clay and Orel on top of every other shitty thing he’s done. Agnes replied with a gif with an L + ratio caption and Dottie said Bloberta deserved it. Agnes and Dottie had their third described back and forth about how blobs sucks, particularly in that she cheated on Clay and forced him into marriage. Reverend Putty said he still stands by his statement that the background character is superior to Danielle and that all the latter’s “lore” revolves around his relationship with Clay.

I argued (on Reverend’s side) that by the logic that what Danielle did is ok because Bloberta “deserves” it, Clay also “deserved” to be manipulated by him and since he still manipulated Orel, pretends Shapey (his son) does not exist, and set the Figurellis’ house on fire, Danielle “deserves” to be labeled inferior to the “godly” (my quote) background character. Agnes and Dottie had their fourth and final recorded here obnoxious back and forth. I was having an incredibly bad day and am an insecure pussy in general so I didn’t get exactly what they said, but I do know they were being assholes and at the end genuinely suggested the fans of the background character (who, I reiterate, is little more than a meme to most of us “fans” of him) wanted to seem 🤩unique🤩.

A mod I’m naming after censordoll came in a while later (a few hours into the next day in my timezone) telling people calm down and be nice. Florence came in and said that she loves Danielle but he sucks and then listed some shitty things he did, and concluded you can love a character and acknowledge they suck. Dottie came back saying it’s true after someone responded to her comment about bloberta forcing him into marriage with “erm”. Censordoll then reiterated that Dottie was being an asshole about it and the way she voiced her opinions could be interpreted as ruse, partly thanks to a concerned message she got. Agnes turned it into what Dottie was suggesting about them once again supposedly getting attacked and censored for voicing an opinion and (her own idea) that the mods were gatekeeping the server. Censordoll said she’s the only active mod and she doesn’t know how to put things on disboard. Cue some arguing between Censordoll and Agnes. Florence called Agnes out for twisting the story and Dottie for again claiming people are getting angry at her for just expressing opinions on characters. Some Danielle Morality and General Character Discussion later things have finally calmed down.

A few hours later (this afternoon in my timezone) people get their last arguments out and Censordoll announces a warning system and there was a bit of discussion about someone else hopefully gaining ownership of the server. That’s all for now and I hope for the next few months.

[cdroloisms]

more of the ghost!dream au!! still no good names for it, sorry (feel free to give me recs? maybe?) - picking off right where we left off here [x]. i’ve gotten quite a bit of this pre-written already as well as quite a bit planned - it’s definitely one of my favorite universes at the minute and something im really excited to show yall !! 

tw: death, memory loss (?), grief, unhealthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy relationship, grief, emotional distress, implied torture/abuse, aftermath of prison arc/pandora’s vault, dark(ish?) portrayal of c!sam (he’s one of the main figures of this au lmao but it grapples quite a bit w/ what he did in pandora)

Sam had only met Ghostbur once.

He never knew the former president well, had been busy with his own base during the Revolution and came back to the server in chaos after an ill-fated election and the man exiled. It hadn’t mattered, much, at the time; Wilbur was an imposing man, even in others’ recollections of him, and their words left very very little to the imagination. From what he knew, Wilbur was a smart man, cunning and silver-tongued, brimming with an unending fountain of belief that he could change the world with his words and his words alone; the server, overrun with memories of scuffles and battles and wars and countries Sam had not been around to remember, only seemed to serve as proof that he could. The few glimpses of the man that he managed to catch showed dark, tired eyes, a figure that stood almost as tall as he did, lips twisted in a perpetual tight-lipped smile.

Even as he spiraled, unexplainably, whispers of madness chasing the wind and landing in choppy fragments in the Badlands meetings held over Skeppy and Bad’s dinner table, those eyes never became less piercing, never failed to seem like they were burning through whatever and whoever they looked at. Sam hadn’t been the subject of that stare many times, but he remembers the bone-deep anxiety from having those eyes on him, even now.

Ghostbur, somehow, was the complete opposite; where his eyes had once been all-too knowing, belying their owners’ intelligence, a ruthless penchant for analysis that would split bone from marrow with a single sharp-edged glance, the phantom’s eyes were completely vacant. Instead of the glossy whites and rings of brown that would flicker warm to cool and warm again without warning, there was only an empty, all-encompassing blue.

He had floated over to Sam following a particularly difficult- session, with the prisoner, greeting him with an airy call of his name as Sam set off to his base for the night. He’d startled, then, still fresh off the adrenaline that was sent coursing through his veins each time he entered those blackstone walls, and started a sort of easy, unfocused conversation as they went along the path to the nether portal.

Ghostbur was - off, for the lack of a better word, even with Sam’s lack of familiarity of either side of the man - who he’d been before and what he’d become. His memories slipped through his mind like water seeping through fingers, and his attention span didn’t seem much better. Still, Sam listened to that echoing, otherworldly voice, nodded along as he eagerly recounted his day - or what he could recall from it, at least, until his feet had brought him along the same well-worn path to the nether portal, spitting purple sparks into the night.

“I’ll have to be going, Ghostbur,” he’d said through a thin smile, muscles aching under netherite as he pulled his shoulders back. The ghost’s head had cocked to the side, watching him with empty eyes, hands outstretched in front of him, palms up.

“Sam-” the ghost blinked slowly, “Are you sad?”

Sam froze. Ghostbur stared at him, face still kept in that same blank expression, eyes still an endless blanket of blue, but something - in his stance, perhaps, in the echoes of his words as they reverberated off of nothing, felt familiar, felt like looking up expecting a window and coming face to face with a shattered mirror - before the phantom’s face broke out in a weightless smile.

“Have some blue!”

The blue was dropped unceremoniously into his hands as he fumbled the catch and nearly let it fall to the ground; the clear, glassy surface of it tainted blue by his fingertips, the color swirling and darkening in his hands. He watched it, mesmerized, as blossoms of blue bloomed beneath his skin; his feelings, sharp-edged, became sea glass tossed in its shifting waves, smoothed, numbed, slowly sucked away in a pulsing chorus of blue blue blue-

“That’s quite a lot of blue,” Ghostbur chirped, and Sam blinked at the thing in his hands - navy, the same color as the sky above their heads clinging to the last remnants of twilight - “Would you like some more?”

“...no thanks, Ghostbur,” Sam looked back up, feeling through the new, blue-tinged fog in his brain, memories blurred at the edges but lacking the same burning sting of regret, “Good night.”

“Good night, Sam!” Wilbur smiled, blank blue eyes trained on his face even as Sam stepped into the portal and the world swirled away. “See you soon!”

---

“Sammy,” Dream walked - no, floated, forwards as Sam took a step back, unresponsive, “is there something wrong?”

Sam swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

He was a spitting image to Dream as he first knew him; the same tousled hair, freckled face, down to the ratty old jacket that he’d insisted on wearing at all times, made of a garish shade of lime-green and covered in customized patches that Bad - unable to resist his puppy eyes - had always ended up fixing the thing with. He had a gap in his teeth that had left him with a lisp for weeks back then, prompting Sapnap’s teasing much to Dream’s annoyance; his head tipped to the side, curious, familiar, and something deep inside Sam’s chest ached.

“Dream-” he tried, chest tightening further when the ghost’s face broke out into a brilliant smile, “why are you here?”

Why do you remember me?

He hadn’t talked to Ghostbur much, but he’d heard, to some degree, about how the ghost operated, how his memories were inconsistent at best, seemingly dependent on the emotions he’d attached to them while alive. How he went through the world in a state of unshakable bliss at the cost of his mind. Dream’s memories of him should’ve been anything but happy; why was he here?

“What do you mean?” Dream blinked at him, eyebrows scrunched, lips set in a small frown. His eyes, black and vacant, seemed to swallow all light, even with the sun streaming through the branches. “Where am I suppos’d to go?”

“Don’t you want to be with George and Sapnap?”

Dream’s face was blank, and the pit in Sam’s gut grew deeper. “Who’s that?”

“George?” Sam could feel his voice begin to tremble, eyes widening. “Sapnap? You know them, right?”

“No?” Dream drew out the word, looking at him like he’d grown another head. “Should I know them?”

“Should you- Dream, this isn’t funny- they’re your best friends! They were your best friends- Pandas? Do you know Pandas?”

“You mean like in the jungles? I haven’t been in a jungle before, Sam, d’you think we could visit one?”

“No- Pandas, do you-” Dream only looked at him with the same confused, uncomprehending expression, not even a flicker of recognition in his face; Sam could hear his heart thudding in his ears, a distant horror growing and wrapping around his throat, “How about Ponk? Alyssa? Calla? Bad?”

Each name did nothing to change the blankness on Dream’s face, the screaming thoughts in Sam’s head growing to a fever pitch when the ghost in front of him shook his head, hair whipping back and forth.

“Nope!” His hands tugged at his hoodie sleeves, the movement familiar in a way that had echoes of long-forgotten memories drifting to the surface, holding his heart in a chokehold and squeezing tight. “Are they your friends?”

“Dream,” he stepped forward - felt a shadow of a pickaxe held in his fists, the shape of the name in his mouth bringing forth the taste of iron and smoke and painting the inside of his eyelids red - and stopped in his tracks. The images melted away, left just a kid standing in front of him, rocking back and forth on nothing, and Sam was going to be sick.

“Who do you remember?”

Dream smiled as the question registered, directing a look of such open, unadulterated adoration his way that it stole all of the air from Sam’s lungs.

“You, dummy!” He laughed, airy and light. “Who else?”

---

He brought him to his base, because what else was he supposed to do?

Dream skipped behind him, entirely enamoured with Fran; he watched as she melted under his enthusiastic scratches at the tufts of fur at her neck. He’d always been a soft touch with animals, had brought home stray mobs more than a few times as a kid; Sam swallowed around his unease and trudged forward.

“Puppy!” He nearly screeched with laughter, and Sam looked back to see Dream with his arms wrapped around Fran’s neck, face buried in her fur as giggles made his shoulders shake. Fran gave him a sloppy lick on the cheek, making him break out into a new round of high-pitched wheezes, “Good girl! Good puppy!”

“Hurry up, Dream,” Sam turned away. “We don’t have all day.”

“Oh- m’sorry,” Dream’s voice quieted, almost seemed to wobble, and Sam bit down on his tongue as they continued to walk back. He- didn’t know what to do, not with this version of Dream, not the little kid he’d half-forgotten instead of the masked monster he’d become so accustomed to. It was so much easier to slip into the mask, let his voice drop cold and deep and empty, the role of the Warden heavy and comfortable like a set of netherite armor. He pointedly kept his eyes staring forward, looking for the edge of the forest they’d ended up stuck in so he could finally see.

A sudden, yipping bark came from behind, thoroughly startling him and sending a sword appearing in a flash of white. He huffed at Fran, looking at him with faux innocent eyes, really?

Unfortunately, both she and Dream had somehow fallen ridiculously behind, the ghost having lowered to the ground at some point as Fran sat and wagged her tail. He rolled his eyes, making his way back towards the duo, feeling irritation press in the form of a headache against the front of his skull.

“Come on,” he muttered, wincing at how clipped his words sounded, even in his own ears. Not the same Dream, Sam. You’re not in the prison anymore. He shoved his hands into his pockets, eyes narrowing as he came closer; Dream hadn’t just stopped because of some distraction, as he first assumed. The kid was leaning against Fran, hands twisted loosely in her fur, head tipped forward and leaning against her body.

“Dream?”

The ghost looked up at his voice, one hand going to rub at his eye. His hair seemed to be moving around less than earlier, lips twisted in a small frown.

“M’sleepy, Sammy,” he mumbled around a yawn, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. He reached both hands up, palms facing the sky, as he stared expectantly. “Up.”

Aren’t you a little big to be carried? The retort came to mind as easily as breathing, echoed in his own head by his own voice, younger, exasperated but fond. His arms shook with the memory of a kid wrapping his arms around his neck and fumbling with his crown, with the feeling of a dead weight resting against the crook of his elbows, tall and lanky and far too light for its size, held in his arms one final time-

“Please?”

Sam shook his head.

“We’re walking to my base. Come on.”

[cartoonsaint]

i got a very sweet ask the other day with an anon's thoughts on my fics (presumably in response to my tags on this post) and i wanted to say thank you, that's really kind TToTT i'm no good at responding intelligently to people being sweet about my stuff but i appreciate it a lot, that kind of thing is a big boost for me. thanks for letting me know you've enjoyed <3

i am sorry if i made it seem like my issue was just w not getting comments or something; i understand when people have difficulty with that kind of thing, i also struggle with it. i actually just did a run of comments that i only just realized i've been putting off for, oh, six whole months, and i've got [REDACTED BUT EMBARRASSING NUMBER INDICATING MY INABILITY TO RESPOND TO THINGS IN A TIMELY MANNER] messages in my ao3 inbox i ought to get to so like: i get it. i tend to assume other people are also doing their best, focus on the comments people do leave, and try not to worry about ~the comments people don't leave~ too much.

but i do have a bit of an issue when people talk about fics with other people but don't leave comments on the fic itself, and that post shows that other fic writers experience the same thing. like the first time i rly grokked that people actually liked what i was writing wasn't from comments, it was from an artist i follow here on tumblr who brought up and complimented my fic on their blog... but hadn't left a comment on the fic itself. if i hadn't been on tumblr and following them, i'd have never known that someone had those particular thoughts about my writing, nor that they were coming from someone whose own art i respect.

idk. i don't wanna call it "life-changing," but it definitely was life-shifting to realize that people were reading my stuff and thinking about it, they just weren't using ao3's avenues to share those thoughts. i responded to that by 1) trying to get more involved with ~fandom spaces~, namely discord (i'm pretty bad at it, esp w individual messages, but i like to leave reactions on things in servers sometimes!) bc that seems to feel lower pressure to some folks if they want to let writers know their thoughts, and 2) putting in more effort to make sure i leave comments on ao3, too, bc if someone's writing affected me or made me think then i'd like to let them know.

i wasn't involved with livejournal (and only barely with ff.net) so i can't really speak to how things have changed, but i have come across the above behavior a number of times w my own work, and in discord groups i sometimes see people talking excitedly about others' fics but when i go to leave a (late) comment on ao3 i find few or none of them have commented. as someone who came to fan spaces pretty late, i find it odd-- it seems to me like one of the major boons of fanfiction is that the reader and author are peers who have the same level of ownership of the characters (i.e., essentially none) so can chat about it as equals.

like, we're all in the same mud pit playing with the same dolls. come on over, let me know how you feel about how i cut my barbie's hair, i'll tell you what i like about how you gave yours cat ears. oh, you used a hot glue gun on em to make em stick? that's awesome, i never would have thought to do that, how'd you avoid melting her hair? LOVE that you dressed her in the outfit from this other barbie, it looks so good! oh, you don't have a barbie yourself but you've been watching me act out a dramatic love confession between my two dolls and you're kinda invested? i wasn't planning on doing more w that storyline, but if you like it i can probably take another look; come on into the mud pit, come hang out.

i dunno. it's just something i've been thinking about lately. i've got no control over what other people do, but i do try to correct this kind of stuff personally when i see it, and i hope you all take the opportunity to do the same when you can. leave a comment on someone's work. let em know how their work made you feel, what meshes well with canon or your interpretation of it, what surprised you or made you laugh. it takes a few minutes but can mean the world to the weirdos spending hours of their time writing a story to share with you :)

[ghastspidergwen]

I love @doctorsiren's dadskall au, and I thought I'd write a little fic about it. basically, the dadskall au is where xisuma and ex (alex)'s dad is doomguy, but some sort of accident/crazy magic/whatever made him and iskall share a body, go check out doctor siren for the whole story, she has great art, too!

disclaimers (you can completely ignore this section if you want): I have played about 15 minutes total of all the Doom games, read none of the books, seen none of the movies, but the ost is great, so this will probably be ooc for doomguy. xisuma and alex are more based on the featherweight au versions, not the real hermitcraft versions. this story is not part of the dadskall au nor any of dr siren's other aus, it's just a break for me to write some fluff. it takes place ~3-4 years after where fw currently is (s7 election era) but is not set in the fw au world. link to the post part of this is based on. ...and I think that's everything, onto the fic!

.

Xisuma took a deep breath, “I think dad’s alive.”

“You said you saw him die,” Alex, previously known as Evil Xisuma, said, turning to his brother, “They told me he died”

“He wasn’t exactly dead, it’s hard to explain. It’s more like...the horcruxes in Harry Potter. When dad died, I think there was some magic at play that made it so his ‘soul’ transferred into the nearest healthy, person. And I think I found them.”

“Uh-huh, and who might that be?”

“HALLO!” Iskall burst in, “What did you need me for?”

“Iskall? Seriously?”

“He was there that night and I have no reason to believe-”

“You really think Iskall-”

“It’s my best guess, everyone else was injured, and the magic had to choose the nearest healthy person, so it must be Iskall.”

“What must be Iskall?”

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Iskall?”

“No, Iskall86,” Xisuma said, sarcastically, “Of course this Iskall, how many Iskalls do we know?”

“I still have no idea what we’re talking about, can -”

“No!” The void brothers turned to him and responded in sync. Xisuma pulled his brother into a side room, “Stay right there, thanks Iskall.”

“What?”

Xisuma exhaled and closed the door behind them, “Phew, OK, I have reason to believe that 13 years ago, Iskall was present the night that dad-y’know-and since everyone else there was either corrupted or injured, as the only uninjured person, dad’s spirit ended up inhabiting his body, but’s been so weak that it was only using Iskall as a means of staying alive, not influencing him or trying to take control of his body at all. Do you get me?”

“A little.”

“And I think I know the spell that will separate them, and give dad his old body back,” They went back into the main room with Iskall, “Should I do it now?”

“Blast ‘im,” Alex backed out of the room, putting a protective wall between him and the magic.

“WHAT?!”

A glowing green ball of energy swirled between Xisuma’s hands, and Iskall backed into the wall, “H-hey Xisuma, what are you doing?”

“This...shouldn’t hurt.”

Iskall held up a hand in a stop gesture, “SHOULDN’T?!”

Xisuma blasted him with the magic. Iskall glowed green, floated into the sir, then split into two people who fell down.

“I...think it...worked,” Xisuma muttered, collapsing to the floor.

Doomguy looked up, and noticed someone lying, unmoving, on the floor. His saving-people instincts kicked in, and he pulled himself over to the person. “C'mon, don’t be dead, don’t be dead,” he said, shaking them.

Someone was shaking Iskall. He sat up and opened his eyes, “Holy heck, it’s Doomguy!”

“You’re alive!” Doomguy said relieved, and pulled Iskall into a hug.

Absolutely starstruck, Iskall sat there, frozen. It’s Doomguy, I love Doom, Doomguy is right here, and he’s hugging me, it’s Doomguy! Iskall’s mind looped.

Pulling out of the hug, Iskall spotted Xisuma crumpled on the floor, “W-wait, I got-gotta check on my friend.”

Doomguy turned around, and spotted his son on the floor.

“Xisuma!” He stood up and stumbled toward him.

“Wait, you know Xisuma?”

“He’s my son. Well, your son, too. Our son.”

“Wha-”

“Short answer, I am you. You are me. We’re the same person.”

Looking at his hands, one thought crossed Iskall’s mind, I’m Doomguy. It was closely followed by “I HAVE A SON?”

“Two sons.”

“TWO SONS? And one of them is dying!” Iskall sprinted across the room and cradled Xisuma’s head, “I don’t know what to do!”

“Health potion?” Doomguy suggested.

“Oh, yeah,” Pulling a potion of healing out of his inventory, Iskall splashed it onto Xisuma. He held his breath and waited to see if it would work.

Xisuma opened his eyes. He sat up.

“Dad!” He jumped up, and buried his face in his dad’s chest plate, giving him a hug the same way he did when he was younger.

“I’m your dad, too,” Iskall said.

“You know?” Xisuma asked, breaking off the hug.

“Yeah, Doomguy told me. So give your poppa a hug,” Iskall uncrossed his arms and gave a very confused Xisuma a hug.

“Oh, OK,” Xisuma awkwardly pat Iskall’s back until he stepped away.

“Is Alex here?” Doomguy asked.

“He should be right outside, he didn’t want to be in the same room as an untested spell.”

“Wait, you didn’t test it? Then why did you cast it on me?” Iskall asked, panicked.

“How many people do we know that have another person living inside them?”

“Wels/Hels, I’m pretty sure Ren did for a while, a pregnant lady,” Iskall ticked off on his fingers.

“Different circumstances. Wels and Hels are one person, like two sides of a coin, Ren-I don’t know what happened with Grimdog or The Red King or whatever, but I definitely don’t want to mess with those, and did you just compare yourself to a pregnant woman?”

“Uhhh...nevermind.”

“You said Alex was just outside?”

“Yeah,” Xisuma pulled the door open, to reveal Alex sitting on a bench outside, drumming his fingers against the seat

“Did it work?”

“Yeah.” Stepping out of the doorway, Xisuma revealed their dad standing behind him.

“Hi, Alex.”

“Dad?”

“It’s me,” Doomguy sat next to his other son.

“Dad!” Alex hugged him, and they pulled Xisuma into the hug after a second. They sat there before the hug was interrupted by another pair of arms joining in.

“Family, together again,” Iskall sighed.

“What’s up with him?” Alex asked, glancing at Iskall.

“I’m part of the family, call me Dadskall.”

“OK...Dadskall, can we have awhile alone with our dad?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. See you later.” Iskall trudged out of the room.

“I haven’t seen you guys in forever! How long was I…”

“15 years.”

“So that would put you guys in your mid-30s, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Has anything big happened in the last 15 years?”

Alex pulled off his helmet, “Nothing too bad. I was imprisoned for a bit of it,” he glared at his brother.

Xisuma also removed his helmet, “I said I was sorry, how many times do you want me to apologize?”

“I wasn’t saying it’s your fault, I was just making the point that-”

“I get it! I was an idiot and I didn’t listen to you when you were clearly right.”

“Just like old times,” Doomguy chuckled, he examined his son’s faces, “You look so much older, like real adults. I’m so sorry I missed out on the last 15 years, I would’ve loved to see you grow up.”

“It’s not like you could do anything about it.”

“I know you would have been here if you could.”

“Also how did you guys get those scars?”

“Someone needed to keep slaying the demons after you left,” Alex shrugged.

“I angered some Watchers years ago.”

“You angered some Watchers?” Doomguy asked, standing up.

“I just realized someone was right, but it was too late to save them.”

“Darn right, I was.” Alex and Xisuma also stood up.

“I...forgot how tall you were,” Doomguy said looking, at up at Alex, who was only a few inches taller.

“Oh, yeah. Xisuma was jealous he never got this tall.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Sure,” Alex smirked.

“So, anything else new?” Their dad intervened.

“Daisy’s still alive.”

“Should’ve guessed,” he chuckled.

“Oh! You’re a grandpa!”

“What?!”

“Yeah! I adopted a guy named xB. I’ll call him over, so you can meet!”

<Xisuma> hey xb, can you come on down to my base, I’ve got something to show you

<xBcrafted> ?

<xBcrafted> yeah, be there shortly

“How did you meet this xB?”

“I was doing some exploring between seasons, looking for a good seed, when I found a small single player world. xB was alone in there. Poor kid was only 13, didn’t know where his parents were, said he had been handling himself for the last 2 or 3 years, so I took him back to Hermitcraft with me. He’s a great kid, you’ll love him.”

“Xisuma has practically adopted the entire server.”

“Server? You’re an admin?”

“We both are. I’m main admin of Hermitcraft, Alex is the backup admin.”

“I’m so sorry I missed out on all of this stuff. I really wish I could have been there for you two.”

Something thumped into the outside of the building they were in, and the door opened, “Freakin’ rockets, stupid friggin’ elytra,” xB mumbled. “Oh, hey Uncle Alex, hey, dad.”

Doomguy gasped, “I love him already!”

“Wha-”

“xB, this is our dad, Doomguy.”

“Wait, I thought he was dead.”

“Wonky magic stuff.”

“OK then. I’m xBcrafted,” xB said, offering his hand for a handshake.

Doomguy scooped him up in a hug, “Hello, xB, you can call me Grandpa Flynn, or just Grandpa, or just Flynn, I don’t care. I have a grandson!”

“Nice-to-meet-you,” xB gasped.

“Dad, I don’t think he can breath.”

“Oh, right,” Flynn released his grandson, “sorry, got a little overexcited.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Glad to be back.”

“Do you want to go meet the rest of the server? There’s just under 30 of us, total.”

“Oh, you’ll love all of them. There’s me, of course, but Hypno and Jevin and Wels and False are all set up near me, Stress and Gem are also pretty close, and Doc and Ren are just past them, and…” xB rambled as the other three grabbed their helmets.

“You ready?” Alex asked, pushing open the door.

“Let’s go, I want to meet the rest of your family.”

[amazingphilza]

DSMP!OC HEADCANNONS

i dunno if ppl on here make dsmp!ocs for themselves outside art but here’s my long list of headcannons?? idk what to call this, but assume all names have c! before it ofc :]

,, this is kinda messy & probably has a lot of plot holes but i just needed a space to write out all my thoughts LOL

also cw / ment of manipulation & ib: dsmp wiki <3

character origin :

previous life was the l’mantree :D

allegedly planted by schlatt, we will never know who’s my canonical parent(s)

reborn as a dryad after niki burns the l’mantree

i think being a dryad would fit especially since they’re typically nymphs of oak trees :]

appearance :

my character’s mc skin has long light brown hair & is seen wearing a flower crown with petals that are around the color of a pale violet and navy blue

clothing would consist of black shoes & a long light grey sweater that falls down to the legs and covers most of the hands which adorned with 2 black stripes on the upper arms

lore / history :

since my past life was the l’mantree, i would’ve known the ins and outs of the history when l’manburg was still standing, up until niki burned the tree

after witnessing everything, i’d hold a grudge on niki (+ allies?) and loyal to wilbur since he’s the whole person that made a meaning of the land of l’manburg

however i’d still be on edge w any side because i could sympathize with everyone to some extent after seeing some sort of distress from everyone at some point

i think seeing both sides of the spectrum when l’manburg/manburg still stood could change my perspective of some other characters

but at the same time, not everything was completely centered in l’manburg so i wouldn’t know the whole story of everyone’s character

i’m currently writing this just after tommy has left the prison & mostly everyone is treating him differently, so i’d try to befriend him by not showing that i dont care about his past & trauma but also not being fully faithful about our friendship ahaha,,,

he seems like the type that needs someone to see through his past history but tommy would definitely disapprove of my character visiting dream at the prison (i would do it anyway :))

vowing my current life to wilbur, i would help dream escape to revive wilbur & follow along with their plans of chaos

i don’t fully support dream but he is the only way to wilbur, making me comply with dream’s decisions

“growing up” in my past life and witnessing endless conflict, it is the only thing i know and understand; chaos

but i think during the process of helping dream & wilbur i’d keep my connection with them secret, being the person to obtain all the inside information they need

i could see myself as a type of equilibrium like ranboo but in a bad way, i don’t know how to explain it

but i would try befriending ranboo since he seems like he is involved in many things and would know a lot, despite his short term memory

unfortunately i’m not sure how much his character actually knows since i haven’t been able to watch his pov that much but i’m sure there’s a lot in his memory book...

to blend in as a normal person within the rest of the characters, i’d surround myself with connor a lot

not only because he needs more lore, connor is one of the “normal” citizens of the smp so i believe being with him doesn’t bring as much attention to myself, unlike people that’s related to the egg and their noticeable features after associating themselves with the egg

he is currently only on bad terms with techno which is rly good when comparing that to other characters and their relationships with other people

connor could probably sense my real intentions eventually & tell everyone else that i’m not who i say i am but if that’s my flaw & my downfall is caused by connor, so be it! sorry dream & wilbur

i feel like for being a young dryad, i’d still fool around with dream/wilbur & help give tommy an small “advantage” to defeating the two ?

like yes i’m supposed to be on your side but where’s the fun if tommy can’t do anything to begin with?

i honestly don’t know if wilbur was revived he’d actually be his vassal but let’s assume that happens, but either way i’m with wilbur on his decisions

but ya dream seems like the type to punish me for helping tommy and send me to the afterlife to learn & become smarter like wilbur had done or smth

in the end, i just want to give tommy bits and pieces that tease him from ending all the wars and problems he has been faced with

like here’s some info about dream and wilbur but it won’t be no where close to enough

but who knows, ghostbur said ‘villains are just heroes that aren’t convinced yet’ & maybe tommy could eventually grow on me & change my ways,,

maybe me fooling around & teasing tommy with answers he’s been searching for is a way to mask that i want to be a good person

ok but imagine after knowing so much about dream/wilbur, the revive book, & the afterlife & then i switch sides,,,

surely if tommy can’t put and end to them, dream would make sure i’m gone for good instead

but also if me & connor are in good terms & he’s canonically a necromancer & can bring ppl back to life,,,,

personality :

to all besides dream & wilbur, i’d try to act passive and friendly on the outside to get on everyone’s good side

however under the mask i am more mischievous & strive to cause more problems for everyone on the server from the inside out

in a way, i’ve taken up some of dream’s manipulative personality but still very understanding

i’d like to think of my character as a good listener,, trying to do less talking than others so i do not open up about my true self and intentions

i’ve seen rumors about schlatt & mexican dream also being revived along with wilbur & i feel like i’d have some soft spot for schlatt & pick up a few things from his own character, not sure what though

schlatt planted l’mantree theory, dad!schlatt au part 2 !! /j

because of my character’s closed off and quiet personality, i feel like i’d be pretty analytical

i would know how to slip between the cracks with some characters & notice the smallest things to make them question themselves

maybe my character is good at holding their composure, and not that susceptible to being “emotional” in a way so it’s easier to face people

like i understand when a situation is sad, etc but i can’t show emotion towards how i feel about it (i don’t know if that makes sense but ya!)

i wanna try to elaborate more,, like imagine my character before tommy visits the prison, i would be unfazed from when i found out he died to the point he’s released and we find out he’s been revived

everything is a constant blur hehe

i just can’t fully process everything i guess? i dunno if that’s helpful but yeah!

in the end though, my moral compass has been very tainted; despite wanting to show my loyalty, it can be slightly easy to sway me, making me internally feel guilty to other people

but me trying to get on everyone’s good side to impress wilbur/dream to seem useful to them would ruin me before i would even realize that i’m another “pawn”

we know damn well dream is faking it till he “makes it” but yk,,

but i’d be stuck in this kind of dilemma of not knowing what thoughts are my own or just something trickled down from wilbur or dream

there’s like maybe something that clicks in my head like “maybe i wanna think for myself for once” or smth

like who am i really?

powers , bonuses , etc :

since dryads can technically manipulate plants in some ways, theoretically i could control the blood vines to some extent ???

i’m pretty sure dryads can communicate with plants so i could understand what the blood vines are saying as well

maybe i could get a good sense of what the egg is all about and stuff

assuming that i understood anything that was happening with the egg in the first place but anyway—

i guess similar to ranboo like how he can’t really be around water without some type of amour or something, it would make sense for me to primarily reside in a type a forest or be near one ?? who knows

seems a bit morbid in a way because of the whole history but if i can somehow easily get rid of the blood vines without it affecting me (if there is still some there) i think it would be kinda pretty to build a tree base in the middle of the l’manburg crator (iskall tease)

like it can show a sign of some rebirth, not the same government repeated once again but a new era in general

you know how you see like destruction years after it the disaster or smth happened and it gets all overgrown with plants and stuff? ya that’s what i’m going for in my head (mumbo jumbo s7 tease)

i know it’s covered in glass already but i dunno, some broken glass and a giant tree emerging from the whole thing and all the rubble seems cool

i’m not a good builder but i have the vision LMAO

omg puffy is like a sheep human hybrid im pretty sure & like there’s a specific type of dryad that are a protector of sheep & other animals?? i’m not exactly sure but that seems like an interesting element to incorporate somehow

also glatt randomly planting a oak sapling in quackity’s lore stream yes pls feed my nonexistent dsmp character lore /j

i honestly dunno how to incorporate the fact dryads can turn shapeshift into trees when trying to escape something but i read something that if a dryad stays in a tree form for too long they’ll forget who they are and stay stuck as a tree?? which like woah that’s cool & some material but at the same time what—

since everyone’s backstory is kinda a mess, mr beast parent tease bc he planted a bunch of trees /hj

i have realized wilbur saying like “the whole reason i built this nation is gone” & blowing up everything or whatever is kinda a plot hole in like ‘why would i follow wilbur if/when he’s revived when he said this?’ but i’d like to think he was the one that made some meaning of the area lmanburg was on, which includes the lmantree

like he was the one that started everything and created that sentiment of that land, and however he views it now is how i would see it now

he gave meaning to my past life and now in my current life, i feel this obligation to repay him for it

not really lore bc i think it was cc!tommy talking to cc!ranboo about his height & age when he first joined but yk it would funny to make my dsmp character than his just to slightly spite him anyway

canonically 6’4 dryad yes . /hj

also i have no idea anything about hannah and her lore but we do be flower buddies :D

also omg like this isn’t at all important but the way ranboo can pick up grass blocks will just have me at awe, i dunno seems in theme with the forest/plant stuff

and i remember reading like there was something about dryads and apples but i can’t remember but i’d give tommy a bunch of apples /hj

apples am i right chat,,,,,

i’ll just have infinite apples in my inventory, like kill me in game, not like losing lives kinda deal but just in general and boom stacks of apples

“bee i get you’re half tree but do you just poop apples out like they’re nothing??” “girls don’t poop” /j

ok but like no matter how many streams i watch i cant grasp where everything is but omg but no if i was new to the server & stuff, canonically & not, i would feel my character to be the curious kind to explore everywhere

like besides a mini tour from some other person in the server, since my character only knows things in the bounds of lmanburg, i’d go off exploring different places like pogtopia, the sewers, showchester, etc

i feel like my character would be really into history, like they would have questions about what happened to lmanburg after the last war? what was life like before wilbur? what was the whole history about the antarctic empire? i dunno but reading a bunch of books from a library seems really interesting

oh but in theory, me and tubbo are loosely related if you wanna count schlatt as my “dad” because he supposedly planted the lmantree ???

i mean could make sense but it seems like a stretch

also if my character ever got close to schlatt, i’m not sure if this is canon, but i swear one time he mentioned how the whole dsmp sever is just a game/server in a game & he’s the only one that knows that ??? but like imagine if i found that out canonically,,,,,

big existential crisis pls

and i’m not 100% sure how dryad shifting works with like going from female to tree form and stuff but if i’m able to morph into different girls on the server & act as them,,,, the about of problems that can cause in the lore omg

lemme frame niki real quick and get inside information /j

oh ya and like hey bee do you support the government then? yes but no. whatever my “fav” person is canonically (assuming this is based in the beginning of this whole hc) whatever wilbur thinks, i think. head empty. but subject to change as the dsmp storyline progresses and stuff :]

ngl i wanna throw in some like random lore that doesn’t make sense to throw people off but i can’t think of anything

not actually really lore related but my choice of stream music like how ranboo has his undertale stuff that makes everyone cry, i will have in love with a ghost

yup i like in love with a ghost sm & i’m pretty sure their music is like not dmca too which yay but yk theoretically never gonna stream on the dsmp but still a fun aspect to think of bc i love listening to music & it’s very impactful to a story & associating something to it makes it more meaningful :D

like i could imagine the chill pop lofi piano stuff fits witha few lore streams of like exploring the whole smp before my character would really go out with being this lost villain in a way?

tubbo’s gangnam style who?

like i feel like i made my character bad/evil so they could have potential to get better in the future

on one hand, i’ll end up w dream and/or wilbur for the rest of my life, which is okay but i could also switch to be with tommy or even disregard all of them and be with techno/phil or quackity & potentially schlatt even who knows

also i cant wait for more connor lore tho, like as much as i tried to make my character give him more content i wanna see how everything goes with him having connections to schlatt & stuff

anyway i would’ve made concept art for my character but i honestly don’t rly like my art currently but who knows LMAO

and lastly if u read all of this ily /p

i might update this later when there’s more lore but ya

[votederpycausemufins]

and you thought we would have less angst~! lol nope!

@petrichormeraki @helleborusangel 

Grifter left briefly and returned with Sefter and Grifect, taking them over to where Grian and Mumbo had taken Jrum. “Oh I had the best idea! Since you have your kids and Sense and I have ours, they could be best friends! I’m sure they can get along great!”

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea right now.” Mumbo said, keeping Jrum close to him. “Jrum is very vulnerable right now and-”

“I kinda do want to play.” Jurm spoke up, tugging on Mumbo’s pant leg. “It was something nice I got to do when I was with d- uh… Bad.”

Mumbo hesitated, but then nodded. “I guess it probably wouldn’t hurt. But if anything happens to Jrum-!”

“Oh calm down, I won’t do anything to him.” Grifter replied. “Besides, I’m sure he wouldn’t let me.” And he pointed behind him to a doorway where Xannes was just coming in, followed by NPG.

“Jrum’s okay!” NPG smiled, before moving behind Xannes when he locked eyes with Grifter, the hels admin crossing his arms.

“You’re out of prison.”

Grifter smiled and pulled himself close to Sense. “Of course. Wouldn’t want to leave this hot stud alone for too long, now would I?”

“Well, You’ve had time with him, now it’s time for you to go back.”

Grifter pouted. “But my kids are having a playdate with Jrum. You wouldn’t want to upset a child, would you?” Grifter’s pout turned into a sly smile and he moved closer to whisper to Xannes. “And Sense has said you’re such a softie when it comes to kids. Before you can do anything to me, I could do whatever I want to that robot. I could create a fun little feedback loop and break them like that. And you couldn’t do anything about it because you decided NPG is better to protect, hmm?”

Xannes wasn’t sure what to say that wouldn’t cause some problem, so he just glared. Grifter’s evil smile quickly turned to one that was much sweeter, and he pulled Grifect over, letting the child talk to Xannes. “Hi Mistew Xannes! Awe uwu weawwy the best hackew evew?”

“I… am known as the best hacker, yes.” Xannes gritted out after another smirk from Grifter.

“Wow! Thawt's so coow! Cawn uwu teach me how tuwu duwu stuff wike thawt?”

“Don’t you want to play with… whatever Jrum would be considered to you? Cousin or some shit?”

“Yeah! But cawn uwu teach me watew?”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Xannes growled, rolling his eyes. Grifect went back over to Jrum and Grifter tried pushing Sefter to play as well, but the older sibling refused to join in.

“Hmm, it looks like Sefter doesn’t want to play. I guess I should take him back to Prof. Sense, you can watch Grifect, right dear?” The evil scientist nodded and Grifter gave him a kiss. “Now Grifect, remember what I told you.”

“I wemembew!” The young bot replied, getting a pat on his head from his dad. Grifter left with Sefter after that, but Grian and Mumbo watcher where they had been.

“You’ve got a bad feeling about that too, right?”

Mumbo nodded. “After what we’ve heard about him, of course I do.”

.

.

.

Sefter twirled a sword in one hand while holding an axe in the other. Behind him, Tommy was tied up and stuffed in a large chest, muffled sounds being the only thing to escape the box. 

On the other side of the room, Grifter dragged Grum along, who was doing his best to resist. “P-please. I d-don’t w-want to g-go.”

“I don’t care! I need you for this, so you’re coming with me. No one will even notice!”

“N-no. I w-want to s-stay with T-Tommy. P-Please!”

“Stop complaining or I’ll rewire you for what I need. I’m sure it can’t be much worse than a lobotomy.” Grifter threatened in a cheerful voice. “Now let’s go!”

Grum was scared by the threat and then stopped resisting. Grifter found it much easier to move the robot now, though the screen changing to a smiley face confused him. He hefted the bot onto his shoulder, quickly sent a message to Grifect, and then they were gone.

The_Grifter left the world

Sefter left the world

The_Grifter joined the world

Grumbot_System joined the world

When they arrived in the SMP, Grumbot jumped off of Grifter’s shoulder and pulled out a sword. “Alright, I’m guessing that means you can also find Theseus from here, right?”

“Theseus is likely to be with the admin. The admin also has a needed item. That item must be retrieved.”

“Good.” Grifter smiled. “Take us there!”

Grumbot hesitated, buffering for a few moments. “Console commands have been disabled. Locating Theseus is not available. Reinstate programs before trying again.”

“Ugh, well how do I do that?” Grifter huffed, smiled gone. 

Coordinates appeared on Grumbot’s face for a few moments before it spoke again. “If it has not been moved, those should be the coordinates. There will be people around it.”

“And they know my ‘good’ copy?” Grifter asked, using air quotes.

“Correct.”

Grifter sighed and pulled on his new outfit, replacing it with a standard red sweater. He cleaned up his hair a bit, resisting the urge to mess it up again and then showed himself off. “How do I look?”

“You look like bzzt.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Grifter asked. Had the robot just censored a word. “I look like what?!”

“Was that not the goal? To look like bzzt? You did change into what looks like bzzt sweater.”

Grifter calmed down. “Oh, you were trying to say Grian’s name hmm? And people say I’m the bad one. He won’t let you say his name.”

“Incorrect. That is a recent addition as protection against the Admin and Dream.”

That got Grifter’s attention. “Oh really? So it’s something you’re doing on purpose?”

“Also incorrect. It has not been turned off and knowledge about the program is recent. It also cannot currently be turned off.” Grumbot explained in a deadpan voice, starting to walk to the quartz mansion, leaving Grifter to follow behind.

“Well now I’m curious. Why can’t you turn it off?”

“Another component controls that program.”

“Hmm, I see.” The helsmit nodded. “So, where are we headed?” He paused as Grumbot pointed to a building in the distance, far enough that Grifter needed to squint. “Over there? Pfft, why walk. I can get us there quicker.”

He grabbed Grumbot, and greenish magic swirled around them, teleporting them next to the building. “If you are attempting to mimic bzzt, that is not helpful for the image.”

“Pfft, it’s fine. No one saw. And if they did, I would deal with it. Now let’s go inside. I already know what I’m going with. Oh, and you better play along, or else.”

Grumbot nodded, making Grifter frown about that fact that it didn’t seem even a little scared from his threat. The helsmit picked Grumbot up before walking into the building, putting on a smile. “Hey, we’re back. Mumbo’s still back in Hermitcraft with Jrum keeping Tommy company.”

“Did you not figure out how to help him out? His body’s still here and obviously he didn’t come with you.” Philza spoke, having returned and Techno gone once again.

The helsmit didn’t need to worry about figuring out an answer because Grumbot quickly answered. “The revival process for those from this world requires an extra step in the form of an item that the admin was in possession of. He will need to be found.”

Those there glanced at each other, which obviously didn’t mean anything good. “What’s wrong?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Fundy held out his communicator, letting Grifter look at it before showing Grumbot. Grifter held in a smile when he saw that Theseus was here, and it looked like his old admin was here too. The errored message was interesting though.

“Obviously it isn’t good news. Dream was bad enough, I don’t want to see what an evil version of him is like. Unless of course it’s an opposite version and he’s nicer.” Phil spoke again.

“From what I’ve heard? He’s not really that nice.” Grifter replied. Not nice to most people that is, at the very least. But he wondered if this Nightmare person would want to be on the good side of a Listener. In fact, he had already lost his server, hadn’t he? So what more could he possibly lose from some sort of partnership. “And while it probably isn’t a good idea to go near him, it looks like we’ll have to.”

“I’m not sure how long it would take to gather people up to help with that.” The hardcore player said. “A lot of people are still injured from the banquet and-”

Grifter cut Philza off. Grian would probably be concerned for his faaamily~. Ugh. “I’m sure I can do fine on my own. Even an admin can’t do much against a Watcher. And while extra help would be nice, you getting close could just end up being more harm than good if you end up in the crossfire. I don’t want to need to revive anyone else just trying to get this thing.”

“He will also be getting some assistance already.” Grumbot spoke up, and Grifter held in the urge to roll his eyes. 

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea.” Grifter tried his best to sound genuine. He’s pretty sure calling the robot by its name would be more effective, but to be completely honest, he had forgotten it at this point.

“There is to be no discussion on this matter. You will be getting assistance.” Grumbot replied, pulling out an axe. “And the sooner travel is started towards the new admin, the better.”

Grifter looked over the people in the room. Obviously getting Philza to look after the robot wouldn’t be a good idea. Even if he wasn’t like his own dad, the helsmit was sure he would be equally as experienced. The demon was off the table too. No way the robot would escape from that. The enderman thing could just teleport around.The fox hybrid might also be too quick on the draw, though he did look young. But no, the fluffy haired boy with little nubs of horns poking out, he seemed like the best option.  He even already had a kid attached at his leg, so adding another would make things tougher on him.

Grifter took Grumbot over to Tubbo and put the robot in the teen’s arms. “Here, try to keep him occupied. I’m sure those two could even play together.” Though Grumbot didn’t react, it looked like the ziglin liked that idea, making it even more likely for the teen to respond positively. And that he did.

The helsmit sent a little wink to Grumbot before giving it a hug and leaving the building. As soon as he was outside, Grifter leaned against a wall and waited for the robot to come out. In a few seconds, there was a commotion from inside and then Grumbot rushed out of the building. Grifter immediately pulled the robot into his arms and teleported them away before anyone could follow outside. “I’m hoping you got what you needed?”

“That could not be obtained.”

“Well then what the fuck was all that noise?”

“Attempting to reconnect programs followed by a necessary escape.”

“Ugh, well I’m sure everyone’s out looking for you now. I’ll take us back and you can do whatever the hell you need to.”

“That would be a good idea.”

Grifter teleported them back. The Fox hybrid unfortunately stayed behind, but the helsmit quickly bashed him over the head, letting him fall to the floor unconscious. “Hmm, I think I could have gone a little harder without killing him. Normally there’s more blood. Maybe I’m just out of practice?”

Grumbot didn’t respond to the banter, just staring at the replacement console. It didn’t need all the programs, but it would be so easy to just add them all back. Its arm reached to plug itself in, but the other arm’s hand stopped the first. Its screen flickered for a moment, and then it released its arm and plugged in. Just a copy of the coordinated program. That’s all that was needed.

When Grumbot unplugged again, Grifter picked it up. “I’m guessing that means you’re ready. Where are we headed to?”

Coordinates appeared on Grumbot’s screen and Grifter smiled before teleporting them there. They reappeared in a large field of snow, the helsmit glad he had changed back into a sweater. “You’re not going to freeze in this, right?”

“Correct.”

Grifter nodded and then looked around. “I’m not seeing them. Are you sure these are the right coordinates?”

“The coordinates were altered slightly based on movement, positioning and terrain. They will be four chunks in that direction in a number of ticks.” Grumbot answered, pointing towards a hill.

“Alright, sounds good enough!” Grifter shrugged and then started dragging Grumbot along in the pointed direction. When they reached the top of the hill, the helsmit looked around, smiling when he saw the people he was looking for. Theseus was following behind what was presumably Nightmare. Then the helsmit’s gaze drifted to a few blocks behind them and the extra set of footprints following the pair. It looked like someone was using an invisibility potion.

Grifter pulled out a bow and arrow, attaching his signature TNT to the end of his arrow, and then fired it so it would land in front of the pair. Not enough to hurt either of them, but enough to startle them at the very least.

When it exploded, Grifter teleported closer, leaving Grumbot behind. “Hi there. I don’t really want you going much further.”

“Who the hell are you?” Nightmare spoke as Theseus glared.

“Mmm… I’m sure you’ve heard of me. I’m a Listener. Grifter to be precise. I’m sure Theseus has talked about his much better older brother. If not, well I guess he’s just more of a little shit than I thought.”

“Nope, he never mentioned you. But I’ve heard of your kind.”

“Aww, that’s too bad.” Grifter pouted, pulling back another arrow and firing it at the invisible figure. “Anyway, nasty tail you’ve got there.”

Nightmare and Theseus turned around to see an arrow floating in midair, footprints being created in the snow with nothing visible making them. Immediately the invisible figure was pulling armor on, ready to fight. “Thanks for the tip.”

“Anytime! Anyway, I need Theseus. Apparently Dadza really likes him still and is upset he’s gone. I wouldn’t do anything, but he kinda cursed someone that I actually care about, so if I don’t do this, it’ll end badly for me.”

“Well tell him Theseus is staying with me. There’s still some training he never finished.”

Grifter’s eyes lit up briefly and the implications, but he still frowned. “Can I at least have him long enough to take back to Dadza? It’ll take five minutes, ten tops. If he doesn’t let me bring bitch boy back, I can just try killing him.”

“Try killing death?” Nightmare asked, sounding skeptical.

Grifter nodded. “Yeah, we’re pretty sure I’m the only one who can actually do it. It’s why people really prefer being on my side.” The helsmit’s smile shifted to something darker. “Which is why you should probably… you know… Listen. Besides, being on my side has plenty of perks!”

Grifter couldn’t see Nightmare’s expression because of his mask, but eventually he nodded. “Fine. But you better be back before those ten minutes.”

Grifter nodded, giving a beaming smile before grabbing Theseus and disappearing. Nightmare put his arms behind his head, acting bored, before pulling out an axe and shield at the last second, blocking an attack. “I know you’re still here idiot.”

The invisible figure didn’t respond, so Nightmare just threw their axe at the person, the blade digging into the armor, deep enough to break through it. “I guess the durability was low.” Was all Nightmare said as he popped his arm back into place, having dislocated from the amount of force he used in the attack. “So, got a na-” Nightmare continued before being cut off as he was grabbed from behind.

“You are in the possession of a needed item. It must be handed over.”

“And what are you supposed to be?”

Grumbot buffered for a moment before answering. “Console. The admin used a console for various jobs before he was taken away and replaced by you. You likely still have an Item needed for the revival process of this world in your possession. The surrendering of that item would be appreciated.”

Nightmare kicked Grumbot away. “Not a chance.” He then pulled out a sword, hitting away the invisible figure. “Not like I can do it with this person fighting me.”

“Then they will be eliminated.” Grumbot replied, booting up its combat program. It pulled out a sword, ready to attack, but then was pushed to the ground.

“Nah, you might be useful later. Get out of the way.” Nightmare said before pulling out a trident and stabbing it into the ground, impaling Grumbot’s arm and nailing it to the ground.

As Nightmare and the invisible person fought, Grumbot looked at the trident. Fortunately it only injured one arm, and as a robot, it was ambidextrous. It pulled the trident out and held it in its hand. With the combat program active, Grumbot angled the throw, adjusting for movement from the other combat, and then threw the weapon.

In a moment, Nightmare was the one stuck to the ground. The invisible person tried to take advantage of the situation, but Grumbot managed to push them aside. The face flickered and then changed to its normal self, though even then it still flickered a bit. “Look, I’m just after my book. Give it here and you can be on your way.”

No one moved, Nightmare wasn’t even struggling, so Grum pressed his foot into Nightmare’s chest. “Give it up, or we could just stay here.”

“Who are you?”

“I think you know.”

There was quiet for a bit, but then Nightmare pulled out a book. “Fine, but I’ll be getting answers.”

“No you won’t.” And Grum pulled the trident out again before smashing it down on Nightmare’s face, shattering the mask he wore before the body disappeared into a cloud of smoke. Immediately Grum closed his combat program and curled into a ball. He started crying at what had just happened, everything quickly catching up with him. But the danger was gone now, right?

The sound of armor moving drew Grum’s attention to the now formerly invisible person, the piglin now looking down at Grum. The bot immediately regretted closing his combat program and tried to boot it up again, shakily drawing his sword. He didn’t want to die again, especially now he had the- the book! Grum dropped his sword and grabbed the book, shoving it into one of his extra inventory slots. It was just in time too as Techno grabbed him.

“D-d-don’t kuh-kill m-me ple-please!” Grum stuttered out. He was lifted up, which he thought was a curious way to kill him, but he also didn’t expect fireworks as a weapon, so anything was on the table with him. 

Instead, Techno just moved Grum onto his back before leaning down and grabbing the dropped sword. “Already made the mistake of killing you once. Besides, you’ll get rid of my ghost problem.” And then he started walking. Grum was still a bit scared of getting killed, thinking the piglin could be lying, but he was also tired. He was glad he still had the trident, which was channeling at the very least, so he wouldn’t necessarily need his charger, but conserving power would be good right now, so he went to sleep.

[piningeddiediaz]

sweety they’re not your friends lol you’re all just obsessed individuals who apparently dont have anything else to do apart from attacking people and thinking you all know adam so well and would be the perfect wife for him lmaooooo. also no i wasn’t talking about problematic opinions like shipping ronan w blue. but general opinions on characters or whatever. even normal pairings outside of pynch. There are people getting attacked by your precious crying club and That is not ok. You are not the elite and your opinions don’t count for the whole fandom. It is hard to ignore you guys when 80% of pynch or adam blogs are crying club people. THEY are the ones who cant ignore other’s opinions (normal ones). Esp julia since you mentioned her, or ambra or wtf her name is, they push their opinions down everyone’s throat, e.g. about gansey. When you’re not friends with them they are very much mean and unnecessarily disrespectful. Maybe you can’t see that bc you interact with them but i saw the way they treated people on here. It sours the fandom even further. I personally ignore these people and scroll on, like you said, but seeing people getting pushed out of fandom or therir joy being dimmed by a few people who think are the shit is not ok.

i dont really know what you’re trying to accomplish with this, and i dont appreciate that patronising tone. i’m pretty sure i can judge who my friends are (also i’m a part of that server too fyi 😉). and i’d like to think i have the mental capacity to decide whether i think someone is mean regardless of whether or not i interact with them. if anything, i know because i do interact with them. you keep bringing gansey up, and while i dont want to speak on behalf of any of them i know what you’re talking about and i know those takes were in response to asks where they were asked about their opinions. i dont think them expressing their dislike for a character on their blog is a bad thing. i, as someone who likes gansey, can read those opinions and decide what i do and dont agree with but ultimately i dont take any of it personally. similarly, when they see me post something about liking gansey they dont come ‘attack’ me as you say. as you so astutely pointed out, we’re all adults and we can act like it. more importantly, this is all kept in their personal blog! obviously none of us can control what gets spread through reblogs, but that’s not the same as attacking.

i generally avoid participating in discourse but that doesn’t mean i don’t see it, so i do know what events you are talking about and i also know where it started and by whom because believe it or not i don’t blindly follow other people and do research to form my own opinions ❤️

i’m sorry you feel that way, i really am, and i admit that the fandom at large can sometimes get toxic and annoying. i hope that gets better. however, i do not think it’s okay for anyone to go and say bad shit about other people to other people. you obviously dont believe im friends with them, so what was the point of sending all this to me? i would react in this way even if i didnt know any of them, and i definitely don’t like it knowing they are all very sweet people who have never once made me feel uncomfortable in the fandom, and this was before we became friends. tbh, i don’t think i need to justify any of this to you, and i can’t change your opinions nor am i going to argue with them. you do you bro. but from where im standing i see one group still dragging this along and another minding their own business. this is fandom tumblr, what are we all doing here if not obsess over ships and fandoms? why do we need to make this personal? that’s all i have to say about this. good day to you! 🤗

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

A - Z 🤍🤍

I’m assuming this means all the asks! So buckle up LOL. And thank you for taking an interest in lil ole me. 

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Since you didn’t specify which title, I’m just going to talk about how I come up with titles in general. Normally, they happen one of two ways. Either I will come up with a title I think sounds cool out of the blue and then base a fic of its vibes, or I will write a fic to completion before deciding on a title. I like to use something that one of the characters say in this situation. It feels very full circle to me, if you will. 

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Unfortunately, my life is nowhere near as cool as the characters’ lives I write about. So no, I can’t say that my stories are based off personal experience. Unless you count me naming side characters my middle name every so often to indulge myself oops. 

C: What member do you identify with most?

I guess by member it means character? And to be honest, I’m not really sure. I relate a lot to Spencer Reid I suppose, because I have never been popular and have always been a target for whatever shit life throws at me. I also like to think I’m kinda intelligent? Although if you look at my grade in my stats class right now, idk what to tell you-

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

Since there was no specific fic asked about, I can’t really answer this one! But to be honest, I don’t think there are any fics that I have written that I associated with songs. 

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

The first one that came to mind is Guest Speaker. If I wrote a part three for that, it would probably be fluffy domestic cute stuff with Spencer. 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“I don’t even know what it was…it happened so fast. Did you kill it, Geralt?” Jaskier asked in a huff. Geralt crossed his arms, and shook his head. “I figured I should make sure you didn’t die first, bard.” Jaskier nodded, a simple “Ah,” leaving his lips. “Well, no matter. You can fix me right?” 

He sounded like he was poking fun at the situation, but I could hear the fear in his words. I decided to try and make him smile before I did this next part. It would be painful.

“Anything for Geralt of Rivia and his emotional support bard.”

(This was just really funny to me for some reason, and I feel like I did a good job with their characterizations! And then Y/N comes back with the emotional support bard comment and it’s something I would say in real life. From this fic.)

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

It depends on my mood! Sometimes if I’m frustrated with a story or a scene, I’ll write them out of order based on what type of thing I feel like writing. But I would say 75% of the time I write my fics in order.

H: How would you describe your style?

To be honest, I have no idea. Do I even have a style? I just write stuff and hope that people read it and like it. 

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Happy endings pfft. So cliche, but like- they make me happy. Unless I am feeling particularly angsty that day and want to make an ending a complete train wreck >:) 

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

In this fic...I would let reader live LMAO. But like- I was feeling angsty that day okay-

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Reader dying at the end of the fic LMAO, in the fic linked in the previous one above this one.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Uhh 😬 Maybe once? If that 😅 I’m usually so excited to post that I just kinda go ahead and click post and hope for the best. I rely on spell check and grammar check a lot 💀And I just hope my story flows well.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I don’t think so! I keep my to do list public so everyone can see what fics I have planned. The only two I don’t have on there are the ones for the upcoming fic swap on @imagining-in-the-margins ‘s discord! But that’s cuz they’re secret :)

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

I wish that I would finish the 85486824 WIPS I have, does that count? And that I would write down all the ideas I have in my head that I haven’t even given words yet. 

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

Ooh this is a tough one. I’m not really sure how to answer it actually. There have been fics that I come up with a general idea for a plot for first, and then others I will decide what characters I wanna write for before I have any clue as to what the plot might be. 

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Oh I am 100% the type of writer to let the story unfold as I go. I have outlined two, maybe three of my fics? And then I didn’t even follow through with them because I had more ideas come to me as I was writing. 

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I would literally LOVE to collab with someone!

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

There are a ton, and I am so sorry if I missed any! @imagining-in-the-margins @randomfandomimagine @reidetic @lexieshuntingsstuff @writing-in-april @reidgraygubler @zhuzhubii @dreatine @andiebeaword @dontkissthewriter @spencers-dria @sunlight-moonrise @personofsinterest @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff @reidlusts @itslatinamagia

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Oh boy! 😅 There was only one bed, mutual pining, manic pixie dream girl, kissed to keep quiet, just to name a few!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Not that I can think of! 

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

But I have way more than three :’( @imagining-in-the-margins is definitely the first one off the top of my head. Last year I was in a really bad spot, and she invited me to her Discord, and it helped me get back into writing. Plus I made some life long friends in the server. @writing-in-april I love her sm because she is always around when I need her, and it’s nice to have a friend that thinks fairly similarly to me. @lexieshuntingsstuff and @reidgraygubler go hand in hand! They are the best sprinting buddies a girl could ask for. 

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Ooh this is a tough one. I can’t think of any off the top of my head! Lame answer, I know 😅

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Definitely more specific ones lol. It makes it a lot easier on me. 

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Reader >:))

Y: A character you want to protect.

SPENCER REID AND JASKIER OKAY THEY DESERVE THE WORLD

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

Again- Spencer and Jaskier. I will not TOLERATE THEIR ERASURE !! 

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.