#i am totally not projecting myself onto her what do u mean | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jmnjmnjmn · 4 years ago

Text

Celebrity crush | part 2 | JK x Reader x RM mini series

Pairing: Namjoon x Celebrity!Reader x Jungkook

Key words: christmas, celebrity crush, singer, idol.

Warnings: drinking, swearing, jealousy, slight panic attack

Word count: around 9,000

Writing this was something... There will be a part 3, there simply has to be... Please let me know if you would like me to write to endings - one for each ship. It is a lot of work, but I am battling with myself about doing it anyway hehe.

For a better read play yourselves those songs:

When I Fell In Love: this song is a loose translation of When I Fall In Love by Primary

Not Bothered: heavily inspired by It’s Okay If You Forget Me by Astrid S, but I imagine it sounding more positive and upbeat like Thank U, Next by Ariana Grande

Private lounge song: Spoil My Night by Post Malone

Inspo board

Masterlist

Namjoon exhaled deeply as the song blasting through his earbuds came to an abrupt end. He locked his phone and wrapped the cable around it before throwing it into the depths of his black backpack beneath his feet. He was in a car with Hoseok, driving home from a recording session.

“What is it?” He asked, glancing towards him. Namjoon looked at him cluelessly as the sound of his friend’s voice brought him back to earth.

“Huh?”

“You sighed so deeply.” He explained. “Something happened?” Namjoon smiled lightly and shook his head.

“No, it’s just- (Y/N) released a new song.” They both chuckled at the effect this girl had on him. “But- I mean- it’s a very dramatic one.” Namjoon added quickly as if he was justifying himself. “It talks very bluntly about ending a long term relationship and being more than okay with it.” Hoseok nodded with a suggestive grin. “It actually made me a little sad, but also… It got me thinking that…” Namjoon gave himself a couple of extra seconds before telling him what really was on his mind the whole time he was listening to (Y/N)’s new song. “She’s probably single right now.”

“Gosh, this is just too funny.” Hoseok shook his head, stopping at a red light. “You should ask Jungkook to give you her number.” Namjoon felt his cheeks going red almost instantly at the thought.

“No…” He murmured looking down at his lap. “Should I?”

“Yes!” Hoseok exclaimed. “It’s right there. Try or you’ll regret it.”

“Okay.” He nodded, trying to encourage himself. “I’ll ask Jungkook when we get home-”

“No, ask him right now!” Hoseok cut him off. “You’ll chicken out when we’re home.” He urged him, knowing Namjoon well enough to be sure that that’s exactly what would happen if he didn’t act right away. “Do it.” Namjoon took his phone out of his backpack and weighed it in his hand for a moment before unlocking it. He tapped on the KakaoTalk icon and drafted a long message to his group’s maknae. “Wait, what are you- just ask him! You don’t have to write an essay about why you want it. It’s not like he doesn’t know.” Hoseok laughed as he glanced at Namjoon’s screen where he already managed to type up a three paragraph text.

“Okay, okay.” Namjoon sighed, deleting the entirety of the message and replacing it with a greeting and a simple question. His stomach raised to his throat when he finally pressed the ‘sent’ arrow. As the lights changed from red to green Namjoon’s phone buzzed in his hand. “He sent it.” Hoseok smiled, patting his shoulder.

“You see? Wasn’t that hard.” Namjoon felt his head beginning to hurt as he realised what was supposed to come next.

“But… What do I write to her now?” He asked, totally clueless.

In the meantime Jungkook was sitting on the couch in the BTS dorm trying to put a finger on how he was feeling and why. Namjoon just texted him asking for (Y/N) number and he sent it to him without hesitation, but as he did it he felt something. A bitter fiery feeling inside his chest that he couldn’t describe any other way. Before he could stop himself he already typed and sent another message to his group’s leader.

“Why though?” Namjoon viewed the message instantly and replied within seconds. “I want to congratulate her on the new single” Jungkook cocked his eyebrow, reading the words on the screen.

He quickly typed (Y/N)’s name into YouTube and opened the most recent video. Nodding he carefully eyed the dance choreography and couldn’t help himself reminiscing the time they danced together. He opened KakaoTalk again, but instead of answering Namjoon he scrolled down his chat list stopping at (Y/N)’s and his selfie she still had set up as her profile picture. Involuntarily he smiled to himself as he started typing.

“You have been chosen!” Taehyung’s loud cheers echoed down the empty hallways of the BigHit headquarters as he shook on Jungkook’s shoulder.

Seven of the boys were on their way to dance practice when their manager called them into his office for a quick chat. It ended up as more of an announcement than a conversation since all of them were in deep shock after hearing what he had to say.

“I just received a very interesting call.” Their manager started with a mischievous look on his face. “It was from overseas.” He continued with the same tone, wanting to keep them in suspense. “A proposition of collaboration with Jungkook from a very popular artist.” The boys looked at each other with cluelessness in their eyes. “It was (Y/N)’s manager.” He finally stated, not being able to withhold the information for any longer. Jungkook widened his eyes at him. “She’s going to be putting out a Christmas single this year and wants it to be in collaboration with you.”

“Stop.” Jungkook told his friend off with a smile plastered on his face.

“It’s true you’re the one.” Hoseok chimed in. “She practiced with you, she asked for your number and now she wants you for the Christmas single.” He counted all their joint activities on his fingers.

“Such a popular guy. Jungkook’s in demand.” The group chattered teasingly.

“How do you do this, huh?” Taehyung asked, throwing his arm around Jungkook. His sweet smile quickly turned into a cheeky grin as he ruffled his hair. “You were just your charming self?” Jungkook laughed with the rest of the guys, as he felt his cheeks become hotter, minute by minute.

“I mean we talked. Once or twice.” He said, trying to sound nonchalant. Jimin raised his eyebrows at him.

“Once or twice?” Jungkook’s cheeks were visibly red by now.

“Twice.” He admitted happily. “Once in March and then she messaged me on my birthday, but I told you about that.” Jimin eyed his friends face with extreme interest.

“What did you talk about?” He pressed as they walked into the practice room.

“Well, first I congratulated her on the success of Not Bothered in March and we talked a bit and then she just wished me a happy birthday last week.”

“Gosh, I’m so jealous.” Namjoon whined, bending down to tie his shoes. He was the one that got the boys into (Y/N)’s music - or more accurately forced them to listen to it long enough they began to share his love for it as well. He was happy for Jungkook’s success, but he couldn’t help himself and felt a little bitter. “I mean a single with her is one thing, but birthday wishes..." He shook his head. ”That’s another level of familiarity."

“Your birthday’s in four days. Maybe she’ll message you too.” Seokjin joked, patting him on his shoulder comfortingly at which Namjoon chuckled.

“Doubtful.”

“Jungkook, ask (Y/N) to wish Namjoon a happy birthday.” Hoseok proposed with a laugh. “It would make his life.”

Tired after hours of going over different dance routines Jungkook lied down on the floor of the practice room panting. He brushed his hair back from his face. The hard feeling of the boards under his back got him thinking about the time he was teaching (Y/N) Boy With Luv choreography on the very same dance floor.

“Jungkook, your phone is buzzing.” Jimin called walking up to him with his phone in hand. He thanked him, grabbing the device. As his eyes met the bright screen he choked on his own tongue, earning a laugh from his friend. “Are you okay?” He asked, hitting his back with an open palm to help him catch his breath again.

“It’s (Y/N).” He finally croaked out. Jimin widened his eyes and squatted next to him.

“Guys, (Y/N) just messaged Jungkook.” He called out with excitement. “What did she say?” He urged him, looking over his shoulder onto his screen.

“Heard you said yes to my Christmas project.” Jungkook read aloud. “We’ll probably record in November. Can’t wait. Pink heart emoji.” With each word he read the boys made more and more comments regarding how lucky he was, how talented, how cool the whole experience was going to be and how happy they were for him. Even Namjoon, though still a little heart broken over (Y/N)’s choice, patted his shoulder with a sincere smile on his face. After a moment of staring at his telephone screen with disbelief Jungkook looked up to his hyungs from the ground. “What should I write back?”

From that moment on Jungkook and (Y/N) have been talking more frequently. It started quite professionally with her sending over information about the Christmas single and various samples of music and vocals. Within days though their conversations turned into long strings of messages with more of a personal note attached to them. Oftentimes when the members asked him what he was grinning about when staring down at his phone he would answer with a shrug, but after one more press he’d come clean, gloating about how funny or smart (Y/N) and showing them her messages.

“Saw you got nominated for BMA’s” Jungkook waited for the three moving dots to disappear before typing in an answer. Another bubble appeared on the screen and he smiled reading the simple message. “Congrats 💗”

“Thank you!! You too” (Y/N) immediately viewed his text. After less than two seconds another bubble from her came up on the bottom of Jungkook’s screen.

“💗” He smiled looking at the emoji she used with him so often. “We should meet when we’re all there. A little integration before we record next month 🎅” The smile on the boys face grew wider.

“Totally” He typed in quickly and chuckled at the answer she gave him.

“I’ll make sure my people set it up with your people 😉” He shook his head. She sounded so ridiculously famous.

“Can’t wait 😁” He typed back before locking his phone and reaching his hands up to touch his warmed up cheeks.

The black SUV slowly made its way down one of Los Angeles’s freeways. It was nearing two o’clock in the morning when it crossed the gates of a private estate in which (Y/N)’s house was located.

“Woah, this is crazy. Like from the movies.” The boys of BTS chattered between each other as they looked out the shaded windows of the car.

There were mansions left and right, long drive ways and high gates protecting whoever lived behind them. The car stopped and the driver rolled down his window. He said something to an intercom outside and the metal gate in front of the hood opened up, slowly revealing an insanely big house with a driveway the size of a whole parking lot, crowded with expensive vehicles. As the boys spilled out of the car a man dressed in all black approached their head staff member who just got out of the front seat. They chatted for a brief moment before he walked up to them rubbing his hands.

“You’re on your own now. We’ll head back to the hotel and pick you up when you call.” He explained with a thin smile. “Her security says she’s been informed of your arrival and that you should just go inside.” The boys looked at each other a little worried. Suddenly everything seemed so real and serious. “Go on. Have fun.” He encouraged them before getting back inside the company car.

“Ah, I’m nervous.” Jungkook sighed as the seven of them walked towards the front door of the house.

“Let’s be cool guys.” Namjoon said more to himself than his members. Inside he was trembling, but he desperately wanted to appear calm and collected in front of his celebrity crush. He took a deep breath before speaking up again. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“It’s like an american movie.” Hoseok chuckled when another man dressed in black jeans and a t-shirt of the same colour opened the door for them.

All of their jaws dropped when they entered the house. The walls seemed to go up for an endless amount of space until they reached the ceiling. The hardwood floors were so shiny they wondered whether they should take their shoes off on entering.

“Where do we-” Jimin started, but lost his train of thought somewhere in the middle of the question.

“Let’s just… Follow the music?” Namjoon asked unsure. The rest of the group nodded in agreement, but before they took more than two steps forward a small figure appeared in one of the doorways of the fourier. She smiled brightly as she walked towards them dressed in her signature look, oversized dress and thigh high booties.

“Hi.” (Y/N) dragged the word as she made her way to the group of boys. “It’s so great to see you, you.” She grinned opening her arms out towards Jungkook. Namjoon felt his heart break into pieces as he saw the shine in her eyes when she looked at the youngest of them. “Hi. I’m so happy you’re all here. Hi.” She kept repeating as she greeted the rest of the boys with hugs as well.

“Your home is beautiful.” Namjoon jumped in with a praising tone.

“Thank you.” She said, bringing both her hands to her chest. “I literally got here like fifteen minutes before you guys. The traffic- the whole event- well, it was hectic to say the least.” She stumbled on her words with a chuckle as she led them down a beautifully decorated hallway. “Some people are already here.” She explained gesturing to the open living and dining space where about thirty or forty people were hanging out in small groups. “It’s more of a low key kind of thing. It’s no concert afterparty.” She giggled, referencing the last party they attended together. She finally stopped in an area with a huge kitchen with white cabinetry and marble countertops and turned to face them, a sweet smile on her face. “I hope it’s okay with you.” They all energetically nodded and chimed some words of agreement making (Y/N)’s smile even wider. “Well, make yourselves at home. There’s drink here and the food’s there. I have to go be with my girls right now, but let’s definitely catch up later.” She let her gaze rest on Jungkook for a particularly long while as she was speaking earning a nervous smile from him. After exchanging see-you-later’s she joined a group of girls on the outside terrace grabbing herself a glass of chilled champagne on the way.

For the next hour or so the boys mostly stuck to themselves. They chatted with some dancers, some music producers, some people of whose professions they never heard of before.

“I’m kind of tired.” Taehyung told Jungkook and Namjoon as the clock hit three o’clock. They went to get drinks from the kitchen as the rest of the boys stayed outside by the pool. “Maybe we should go-” His proposition of leaving was cut off by some person’s loud shout.

“Yes! We wanna hear you sing!” A girl in a branded tracksuit exclaimed as (Y/N) laughed uncontrollably, sitting beside her on the big white couch. “Where’s the remote?” The girl dug up a TV remote from under the coffee table in front of her and turned the device on. After a couple of seconds she connected her phone to it and everyone gathered inside saw her look up ‘karaoke’ on YouTube.

“Oh my god, no.” (Y/N) chuckled covering her face.

“Come on, (Y/N). You promised you’ll sing.” Her friend begged jokingly until she finally looked up at her.

“Okay.” She sighed. She got up looking around the room at all the familiar faces when her gaze stopped at the boy standing by the kitchen island. “Taehyung, want a repeat of last time?” Suddenly everyone was looking at Taehyung, standing with his friends and a glass of red wine in his hand. He laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. “You pick the song?” (Y/N) proposed with a cheeky smile.

“Okay.” He finally answered and set his glass down on the kitchen counter to go join her in the living area. (Y/N) took out two hand mics from the cupboard under the TV set and handed him one.

“So, what will it be?” She looked at him sweetly.

Taehyung ended up choosing Ariana Grande’s No Tears Left To Cry. Their performance turned out flawless which got everyone pumped up and set the tone for the rest of the night. After the two handed their mics to the next tipsy person wanting to sing their heart out (Y/N) grabbed Taehyung’s wrist and pulled him to the side.

“I really enjoy singing with you.” She looked up at him. “I think we have great musical chemistry.”

“Me too.” He nodded as they walked towards the two guys he earlier left in the kitchen.

“Boys!” (Y/N) called out as she skipped over to them. “I realised I never gave you the tour of the place. You want to go see my studio?” Namjoon quickly swallowed his drink to explain her proposition to Jungkook and Taehyung, but it wasn’t necessary as they immediately agreed and nodded energetically. “Great, follow me.”

She walked them around a house with a drink in her hand telling them about the renovations she had to do in particular rooms. After about five or ten minutes of that they finally got to the studio she earlier mentioned. The space was big, combined of multiple rooms. One a recording booth with plush couches, another a writing room with expensive guitars on the walls, another a fully equipped dance studio and so on.

“And here is where we’ll be recording next month with JK.” She pointed to an empty side of the recording booth. “The equipment is being delivered.” She explained with a chuckle as the three seemed to look a little surprised.

“I can’t wait.” Jungkook smiled at her and she averted her eyes to the floor before continuing with the tour.

“And here is-”

“Your dance studio.” Jungkook interrupted her at which she looked up at him with a smile.

“Yeah.”

“I recognise it from the photos.” They stood there for a moment just smiling at each other, before Taehyung chimed in.

“Photos?” He asked walking into the middle of the squicky clean dance floor.

“I sent him pictures from here once or twice.” (Y/N) explained and Taehyung hummed in understanding for which Namjoon was deeply thankful, because it masked the heavy sigh that just escaped his lips. “We should dance something.” (Y/N) suddenly proposed with excitement in her voice.

“You and me.” Jungkook exclaimed, matching her tone. The alcohol made the nervous feeling rising up in his chest disappear. “Boy With Luv.” (Y/N) laughed running towards a computer in the corner of the room to turn on the music.

“I hope I remember the moves.” She took positions with Jungkook by her side in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors as the music started to play. They barely got through the first verse when (Y/N) stopped. “I can’t dance in these shoes.” She laughed, taking off her high heeled boots and quickly meeting Jungkook in the next move of the routine.

Taehyung chuckled and clapped his hands, sitting on the ground in front of them, watching the performance when Namjoon leaned on the wall behind them, looking sadly at the scene unfolding before him. After the song ended the three of them started freestyling to (Y/N)’s spring single Not Bothered.

“I don't feel sorry for myself or care if you're holdin’ somebody else. No, I’m not bothered. Ain’t bothered.” Taehyung pulled Namjoon in to join them and even though he wasn’t really feeling it he decided to try and pull himself out of this slump. “I don't feel empty now that you're gone. Doesn’t mean you didn't mean nothing at all, but I won’t get jealous if you’re happy. No, I won’t. I’m not bothered. No, I ain't bothered." Somehow Jungkook knew the entire choreography to the song and joined (Y/N) in singing the lyrics of the song. “From everything to nothing at all. From every day to never at all. But I’m fine. I’m not bothered.” As the speakers went silent the four broke into laughter intermittened with slight panting from the sudden movements.

“What’s the story behind this one?” Namjoon asked as (Y/N) passed them a bottle of Fiji water each from the glass fridge by the wall. The atmosphere seemed to have shifted as soon as he asked the question, but it was too late to take it back. She took a big sip of her drink before answering with her signature sweet smile.

“It’s pretty self explanatory.” She chuckled finally.

“But did it really happen?” He pressed before he could stop himself and she exhaled a weak laugh as she looked him in the eye.

“I wouldn’t be calling out such specific events if they didn’t happen.” She explained as she stretched her arms over her head. Namjoon nodded, knowing that one more question would probably be considered as crossing the line so he decided upon a compliment.

“It’s really good.”

“Thanks. I like it too.” (Y/N) took another sip of her water before nodding to herself. “It’s my own little self love anthem,”

“AH!” Namjoon exclaimed, dropping an eggshell into the pan for the third time this morning.

“Jeez, what is it with you?” Yoongi looked up from his phone at him. Namjoon just sighed, leaving his question unanswered.

The truth was he was too ashamed to tell anybody why he was so on edge lately. He dug out the shell from the pan and stirred his eggs furiously as he started thinking about it again, ‘it’ meaning Jungkook and (Y/N). Yesterday morning he left for a three day stay in the States to record his Christmas single with her and it drove Namjoon insane. He imagined them having a blast singing the song and shooting the music video together, laughing about how stupid he is for liking (Y/N) when she’s so obviously into the youngest member.

“She chose him.” He repeated in his head. “She chose him. Get over it, Joon.” He scraped the burned eggs from the pan onto a clean plate and stomped over to the kitchen table where Yoongi was sitting. “No wonder. He’s a better dancer and singer. He’s closer to her in age, he’s more confident.” He started spiraling into a pit of despair when Yoongi spoke up again.

“You’re taller though.” He said without even looking up at Namjoon from his phone.

“What?” He asked in shock. “Was I- did I say all that out loud?” He stammered in embarrassment. Yoongi just hummed as a response and Namjoon felt his face burning up. That’s it for keeping his jealousy a secret. “Can you not tell Jungkook about this?” Yoongi exhaled loudly, shaking his head.

“Wasn’t going to.”

“Thanks.” Namjoon answered, looking down at his failed attempt of scrambled eggs on the plate before him.

“But you should.” His friend added out of the blue. Namjoon looked at him with his eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

“What?”

“It’s obviously eating you up from inside that he’s spending time with (Y/N).” He explained, still scrolling through something on his phone. “You should talk to him about it or stop it altogether." Namjoon put down his fork with a sigh.

“How am I supposed to stop them?” He asked, hoping Yoongi had some brilliant idea ready for him.

“Not them, idiot.” He scolded him. He locked his phone and stuffed it in his jeans pocket as he stood up from the table. “Stop yourself from thinking about it. Make yourself get over it or something.”

“Oh.” Namjoon looked back down from his friend onto his plate. Though the sight of its contents deeply disgusted him he decided upon forcing himself to eat at least a bite or two. The jealousy that started raging in him as soon as Jungkook left for America made him unable to eat so when he finally felt hungry he wanted to stuff himself with something healthy. Hence the eggs.

“Honestly, Namjoon.” Yoongi’s voice was serious, almost as if he was warning him. “You have to do something about it. You’ll regret it if you won’t.”

As his friend closed his bedroom door behind him he left Namjoon all alone in the common space of the BTS dorm. He exhaled loudly, letting his shoulders relax and his arms fall down to his sides. (Y/N) seemed to have taken a sincere liking towards Jungkook and he couldn’t do anything about it. Not now at least. Now it was too late. He stirred his eggs lazily, feeling more hopeless than ever.

“Woah! I love it!” He heard Taehyung and Jimin chatter in the next room. “Send it to the group chat.” One of them exclaimed and within a second Namjoon’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and opened the message in the BTS group chat.

“A little teaser of the Christmas single.” The text beneath a video file forwarded by Jimin read. Namjoon pressed the white triangle in the middle of it and instantly regretted his decision.

“When did I fall in love with you? When did I start opening up?” Jungkook’s flawless vocals filled his ears as he watched him sing, standing in the middle of (Y/N)’s home studio’s recording booth. “Without hiding, without me knowing when I fell in love. When I fell in love.”

“It’s supposed to be a Christmas single, not a Valentine's one.” He scoffed to himself, knowing that getting over his infatuation with (Y/N) was going to be a harder task than he initially thought.

“She’s going to start posting the official teasers next week, the lyric video will come out on the first and the music video on the fifth of December.” Jungkook babbled with excitement.

The seven of them were having dinner at the BigHit office as they were busy with preparing for their group’s winter comeback. Their youngest member has just yesterday come back from his trip visiting (Y/N) in her Los Angeles home where most of the recording for her Christmas single took place and was now telling his friends about every little detail of the whole experience.

“I can’t wait for the release of the video.” He smiled brightly as the rest of the boys congratulated him once again on getting such a great opportunity. Namjoon just hummed in agreement with them, because he couldn’t trust himself to sound sincere if he decided to speak up as well. “Also she’s going to be in Tokyo in mid December.” Namjoon knew (Y/N) was going to be in Asia next month for the four-week-long promotional tour of her new album, but still his ears perked up at the statement. “And she invited me to join her during the live show to perform When I Fell In Love. Our PD says I should do it.” He felt his spirit getting crushed as Jungkook finished his sentence and the rest of the group erupted in words of surprise and praise directed at the maknae.

Looking up from his plate Namjoon noticed Yoongi giving him a meaningful glare. He quickly averted his gaze as he felt his head getting hot at the memory of the conversation they had not so long ago. Yoongi couldn’t take looking at his friend in that state any longer and decided to take the matter into his own hands.

“Ah, Namjoon’s handling this so well. Isn't he?” He asked nonachalantly. Namjoon looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, you always had such a huge crush on (Y/N) and wanted to work with her so badly.” Hoseok quickly joined in.

“If I were you I would be fuming with jealousy." Yoongi added, playing his part perfectly.

“It must be so hard for you, hyung.” Taehyung jumped in, patting Namjoon on his shoulder to comfort him.

“I’m fine.” He answered half-heartedly. The simple phrase proved to be enough for the five of his friends, but in one of their minds doubts started growing.

Jungkook looked at his group's leader, his friend of so many years, with a puzzled expression. He was so focused on making a good impression on (Y/N), so nervous when they were together that he totally forgot about the fact that it was Namjoon’s idea to go to her concert in the first place. He wondered if he really meant what he just said, if he really was ‘fine’. After all (Y/N) was just his celebrity crush. Everyone has one. He didn’t really know her, at least not like Jungkook did. They talked and connected, it was different with her for him he thought. They spent an awful lot of time together when he came over to shoot and record with her for her Christmas single. The romantic nature of the music video and the lyrics made it even more clear for him that he in fact had feelings for her. It also ensured him that she felt something towards him too.

Jungkook breathed in sharply and took another bite of his meal trying to not overthink the situation. The possibility of both him and Namjoon liking the same girl made him uncomfortable, but he wasn’t going to suppress his feelings because of that. He wasn’t a type to give up that easily.

(Y/N) sat in her dressing room looking in the mirror, watching herself become more and more perfect by the minute as her beauty team rushed around her, putting in her hair, finishing up her makeup.

“Three minutes.” Someone one the other side of the door called out.

For today's performance she was wearing the same outfit she had on in New York and Toronto, the same one she was going to wear in London and Moscow as well - a floor length, skin tight, white dress with long sleeves and a slit down the side. It was the look from the cover of her newest album, the one she was promoting with the four-week and five-shows-long tour.

“Two minutes.” Her new hair extensions were falling down her shoulders in long, lashcious cascades a couple of shades lighter than her natural colour.

“One.” (Y/N) tilted her head making them catch light and shine in the reflection.

“Show time.” She stood up from her chair and walked out the door onto the backstage where she had to greet several people she never met before and thank them for coming to her show. In those moments she really wondered why she didn’t become an actress, faking smiles and deep interest in total strangers was practically second nature to her at this point.

After that little show was over she walked down the dimly lit hallway to meet with her friends and dancers hanging out in the private lounge. As she opened the door she noticed one person she wasn’t expecting to see.

“Jungkook?” She asked, eyeing the boy. He was dressed in black from head to toe, his dark hair styled to fall neatly over his forehead. He already met everyone present in the room when visiting her in Los Angeles to record the Christmas single. “How did you get in here?” He reached to the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a lineard with a plastic badge attached to it.

“I have uh- special pass.” (Y/N) smiled, opening her arms as she approached him. Jungkook mirrored her movements and they greeted each other with a hug and kiss on the cheek as they always did. “How are you?” He asked, letting go. (Y/N) looked around her friends' faces with a slight frown.

“Honestly, I’m a little nervous tonight.” She confessed, biting her lip and instantly scolding herself in her mind for it. She was wearing matte lipstick and didn’t want to go through another makeup touchup before the concert.

“Why? It’s going to be great. What is it? You’ll be fine.” They all spoke silmunaniously and she just chuckled, looking down to her feet.

She couldn’t tell them, or at least not all of them. Some of the people surrounding her right now - her closest friends, her dancers - knew why she felt the way she felt today, but some would be shocked if she revealed the whole story to them since she successfully kept it secret for so long. As she lifted her head back up she put on another one of those fake smiles and reassured everyone it must be just regular stage-fright, but in reality she was just profoundly sad.

Today was her ex-boyfriend’s birthday and although in just two months it would be a year since their break up she couldn’t stop herself and went to stalk his Instagram and Twitter profiles earlier in the day to see how he’s been celebrating. The fact that he wasn’t much of a public person and used his social media accounts mostly for liking others' posts made it so much harder for (Y/N) not to blow up when she noticed the black and white picture on his timeline.

“Spending my day with my boo 💑 ilysm” She shook her head at the memory of the simple caption underneath a picture of two people kissing in some restaurant’s booth. She hated herself for letting it influence her so strongly. She felt angry. She felt sad. She felt jealous, not necessarily of him, not really. At this point she was jealous of everyone who had a partner, everyone who could post pictures of them online without millions of hate comments appearing within seconds of posting it or without it hindering their public image, everyone who had the ability to call out ‘honey, I’m home’ when entering their house without lying.

(Y/N) sighed deeply trying to relieve some of the tension still pent up in her body despite being on stage for the past forty minutes. Having the setlist memorised she knew what song came next. The lights went dark for a moment before all the screens behind her back depicted falling snowflakes and snippets of the music video for When I Fell In Love. The audience cheered in excitement as (Y/N) took her position in the middle of the stage under the blinding spotlight and started singing the first verse.

“You and I. Did someone stop the time? ‘Cause it feels like I’m a child and you’re the presents underneath, underneath the Christmas tree.” Jungkook stood backstage, gripping his microphone tightly afraid it might slip through his sweaty fingers. He tapped his foot on the floor waiting for a sign from the sound guy to walk out on stage and join (Y/N) in the chorus. “Don’t know when, but at some point everything changed for me with you and I don’t know when looking at each other became this little habit of ours.” He felt a pat on his shoulder signaling it’s Jungkook’s queue. He breathed out and brought the microphone to his lips as he walked out on stage.

“When did I fall in love with you? When did I start opening up?” (Y/N) outstretched her hand towards him and he took it. “Without hiding, without me knowing when I fell in love. When I fell in love.” The two of them sang, still mirroring the scene from the music video streaming on the big screens behind them where they played two people realising they were in love on Christmas day.

A couple of songs later (Y/N) walked off stage for a sip of water before the encore. Her beauty team gathered around her tweaking individual hairs and straightening up her dress. The crowd outside roared as the first notes of Not Bothered played, the last number of the night.

“Fighting, (Y/N)!” She turned around, searching for the source of the encouraging words. After a couple of seconds of looking around she noticed Jungkook standing with a couple of people whose faces she didn’t recognise. He had both of his hands up with his thumbs and index fingers crossed, making two tiny hearts. (Y/N) smiled weakly at the sight and nodded his way. She was feeling everything but ready to perform this particular song, but still walked out in a confident strut, surrounded by her dancers.

“I’m sorry I need a moment. (Y/N) breathed out as she walked to her dressing room, her beauty team and assistant right behind her. “Alone.” She added and closed the door behind herself. She leaned on it and slid down to the ground with a muffled sob. After singing that song she felt far from Not Bothered. She hugged her legs to her chest, digging her nails into the soft material of her dress, trying to calm her breath down, but she couldn’t. She raised herself up and paced back and forth around the small room, covering her trembling lips with the palm of her hand. After some time she stopped, looking at herself in the mirror. “Stop it, stop it.” She whispered, shooting an angry glare at the reflection. She wiped her cheeks with her hands and breathed in shakily, walking to the door to let her team in. “I’ll be fine.” She stated at the sight of their worried faces. “I just need a makeup touch up.”

“It’s official.” The sweet voice echoed through Namjoon’s ears. He looked up from his laptop in search of its source which he immediately noticed. “I’ll see ya’ll at Coachella.” Jungkook smiled fondly, looking down at his phone. “It’s official. I’ll see ya’ll at Coachella.” The voice said once again. The maknae tapped his phone’s screen twice, undoubtedly liking a video (Y/N) just posted on one of her social media accounts.

Before he could give it another thought Namjoon was already typing (Y/N)’s name into his computer’s search engine. He glanced over a couple of articles and pressed on the link taking him to her official site.

“Delight World Tour” He read a title written in a thick font of the colour of baby pink. Mindlessly he scrolled down already scanning his screen in search of his city’s name. “Seoul, South Korea - 16th of June - Seoul Olympic Stadium.”

*click*

Namjoon’s head snapped back towards Jungkook. He stood by the living room window with his arm outstretched in front of him to take a selfie. He quickly brought the phone back down and started typing.

“Hyung, how do you say- how do you change the word ‘delight’ into a verb in English?” He asked looking up at him. Namjoon froze in place, wondering why Jungkook was asking about that particular word. He didn’t have to wonder for long. “I want to message (Y/N) about Coachella. You know she’s like a headliner or something? So far I wrote: How delightful. Is that okay? I wanted to do like a little word play with her album’s name since-” Namjoon slapped his laptop shut.

“Delightful is not a verb. It’s an adjective.” He cut him off. “And yes, it’s fine.” He added standing up from the couch and storming away to his room.

He threw his computer on the bed and shut the door behind himself with a loud thud. Right as he did that he sighed and quickly opened the door back up. Walking back to the living room he noticed confused Jungkook standing where he left him, looking down at his phone.

“I’m sorry.” Namjoon mumbled, scratching his forehead. This, though definitely late, was a perfect time to come clean to Jungkook and tell him how he really felt about whatever it was that was between him and (Y/N), but he opted for an excuse instead. “I’m just tired.” Jungkook muttered some words of understanding, but Namjoon couldn’t really hear much sincerity in them. All he could think about was his jealousy. “Are you going to be seeing (Y/N) when she comes to Seoul?” He asked, trying to sound as casual as he could.

“Ah, she 's coming? When?” Namjoon had to use all his willpower not to roll his eyes at the boy.

“Yeah, in June. For the Delight tour.” Jungkook opened his eyes wider in realisation. He quickly unlocked his phone and started typing again.

“I guess I could ask her about it while I’m at it.” He said with his eyes glued to the tiny screen before him.

“While you’re at it…” Namjoon muttered under his breath and Jungkook hummed in question. “Don’t you think it’s a little too early for that?” He asked, hoping to plant a seed of uncertainty in his friend's mind.

“No, the sooner the better.” He chimed and looked at his group’s leader with a smile. “She says we should totally meet up.” Namjoon’s plan not only didn’t work, it totally backfired on him. He nodded and went back to his room, quietly locking the door this time.

The boys sat in one of those monthly meetings where their manager went over the whole schedule set for them for the next four weeks. Halfway through the hour-long sit down they were already feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the amount of appearances and live shows they have to do only the following week.

“And going into the second week of June, on sixteenth Jungkook’s attending Delight-” Namjoon involuntarily slapped both his hands on his thighs in sudden shock. “Namjoon?” The manager asked.

“Yeah- no- sorry, I- could- is- is Jungkook going alone?” He finally stuttered out. As he received an affirmative answer he opened his mouth again. “I- could- could I go as well?” He asked, feeling the blood rush to his face. The manager stalled for a moment before he finally let out a simple ‘yes’.

“JK and RM.” Jungkook chimed, raising his hand in a high five motion towards his friend as if they just landed a good deal together.

On the day of the concert both Namjoon and Jungkook woke up with big smiles on their faces. They both hummed to themselves while washing their teeth, their feet felt light walking on the ground and went through their day feeling somewhere close to invincible. It was almost funny. Especially, because the reason behind their positive attitude was also the same and that was (Y/N).

“You think she’ll have time for us before the show?” Namjoon asked, checking the time on his phone for the millionth time since they got in the company car.

“Ah, for sure. Last time we hung out in the private lounge for almost an hour with the dancers.” He answered nonchalantly. Namjoon looked out the window of the car at the long line of fans in front of the venue. He unconsciously sighed which didn’t go unnoticed by his friend sitting beside him in the backseat. “Just be cool.” Jungkook stated, glancing his way.

The youngest member of BTS walked the backstage like it was his own concert. He greeted people that worked the show, some dancers and some staff, he grabbed himself a bottle of water from a stand in the corridor. Namjoon just walked behind him, hoping his nervousness will magically evaporate once he sees (Y/N).

“JK!” Someone called as they passed by a half open double door. Jungkook stopped in his tracks and peaked his head inside the room.

“Hey!” He exclaimed and walked inside.

Namjoon took a breath before entering the room, unsure what he’ll be met with inside. When he crossed the doorway he noticed Jungkook side-hugging some guy in a baby pink sweatsuit with the name ‘Johnny’ embroidered over his heart.

“This is my friend from my group, RM.” Namjoon stepped forward ready to give the guy a hand shake, but he went in for the hug and kiss combo.

While his hyung was dealing with Johnny, (Y/N)’s close friend and one of her main dancers, Jungkook greeted other staff already gathered in the private lounge. He didn’t have time to introduce him to them though, because the star of the night, one and only (Y/N), showed up right after them.

“Hey!” She called out, dragging the last letter of the word.

She was dressed in the same outfit the rest of the dance crew was wearing, only she had her own name embroidered on the front of the baby pink sweatshirt. Her hair was down, falling over her shoulders in light waves that reached over her waist.

“The tag goes with your outfit.” She joked flicking the baby pink ‘VIP’ tag Jungkook had pinned to his shirt. He chuckled and she opened her arms to properly greet him with a hug, that in Namjoon’s mind lasted a tad bit too long. As they finally let go of each other (Y/N) turned to Namjoon with a smile just as sweet and sincere as the one she granted Jungkook with. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Namjoon answered smoothly, mentally high-fiving himself for coming up with that.

“Are you performing in this?” Jungkook asked, pulling on the sleeve of her sweatshirt, making Namjoon wonder if they ever partook in any more skinship than the hugs (Y/N) gave him.

“No.” (Y/N) chuckled, waving him off. They seemed to be so comfortable with each other, so innocent and cute.

“This is just for the backstage, silly.” Johnny explained and reached for (Y/N)’s pant leg. “It’s tear-off. Look.” He pulled on the material undoing a couple of the top buttons and almost giving both Jungkook and Namjoon heartattacks as a bit of (Y/N)’s upper thigh was revealed.

“Johnny!” She scolded him, slapping his hand away and pinning the pant leg closed again. “I’ve got like twenty minutes to spare before I have to go get changed into my real outfit-” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and shot Johnny a serious glare. “-and the same goes for the dance crew.” Johnny just chuckled.

The four made their way to the couches located in the center of the lounge and sat down for some conversation and chilling before the big show.

“How’s Korea treating you?” Namjoon asked as they made themselves comfortable on opposite couches.

“Honestly, it’s been lovely so far.” Johnny answered with a dreamy look in his eyes.

“I agree. Both this time and last time... It was great.” (Y/N) added. “I wish we had more time to explore though.” Johnny hummed in agreement. “Like, for example last year the only time I spent not working and properly taking in the city was when I went out with you guys.”

“Ah, we should do that again then.” (Y/N) giggled sweetly at his blunt proposition.

“(Y/N), 5 minutes.” Her assistant said popping inside the lounge quickly.

“Already? Damn.” She answered in confusion. “Time passes fast in good company.”

“Thanks, sweetie.” Johnny answered her, even though she was looking towards Jungkook and Namjoon who sat on a couch opposite from the one they were sitting on.

“Go get ready, Johnny.” She shut him down with a smile as the four of them chuckled at his comment. “Cheer for me.” (Y/N) said sweetly to the two boys as she stood up.

“Of course!” “Fighting!” They said silmutaniously, bringing a wider smile to her face.

“What time is it?” Jungkook asked. With his feet up on the table and a bowl of some candy by his side he looked like he was just hanging out in his own living room when in fact he was a ‘VIP’ guest on the backstage of (Y/N)’s Seoul live show. “What time is it?” He repeated his question as Namjoon was too engulfed in watching (Y/N) perform one of her sexier songs on the big screen in front of them to hear him the first time.

“It’s-” Namjoon looked at his phone screen.”A little after eleven.”

“Before I walk off this stage I would like to take a moment and thank some people.” (Y/N)’s voice echoed from the stage and through the speakers in the lounge. She had both her hands on her chest right now in a gesture of gratitude. “Thank you to all of you that came out tonight. This show is for you and you only.”The gathered crowd started whistling and cheering loudly. “Thank you to all the dancers and the musicians that are on this stage tonight. This concert would be nothing without you.” She gestured around the stage behind her. “And one more to all of the people working their asses off behind this stage. A round of applause for them. Thank you guys. Thank you so much.” She started clapping together with her fans. “Thank you, all of you.” She turned to the audience again. “I love you so much. I love you. Thank you.” The audience was shouting and applauding loudly as (Y/N) raised the mic back up to her lips. “This song is for all the girls and boys who just got out of relationships and need some good lovin’. Come on!” She exclaimed right before the first notes of Not Bothered started playing.

Tonight (Y/N) was looking to get drunk, in a respectable kind of way a famous person can get drunk and not lose their reputation. She walked into the club reserved for her concert afterparty somewhere in downtown Seoul in an intimidating formation - with her dance crew besties to both her sides. Her white sneakers shined in the UV lights of the venue contrasting perfectly with the black branded sweatshirt dress she was wearing.

“Six bottles of champagne, please.” She said to the waiter as they walked to the private lounge reserved just for them. It was a spacious room with a black leather couch shaped like the letter ‘U’ and a heavy marble table in the middle. Above the back of the couch hung a big TV screen and across was a venetian mirror, making it so her and her friends could watch the dancing crowd while remaining invisible.

As the night progressed (Y/N)’s friends, dancers, staff, ‘VIP’ guests came and went from the private room while she stayed seated at the bottom of the ‘U’ shaped couch downing drink by drink.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” She murmured more to herself than anybody else as she stood up and walked out the soundproof door. “Sorry.” She mumbled, squeezing through the corridor full of people to make her way to one of the club’s the bathrooms.

“(Y/N).” She heard her name being called by a familiar voice. Looking over her shoulder she noticed Jungkook and Namjoon standing awkwardly with drinks in their hands. Right as she looked into the first boy’s eyes an idea popped into her head.

“Hey, come with me.” She said, walking up to them. “You won’t be needing this.” She took the plastic cups out of their hands and set them on the nearby table. “Come on.” She grabbed Jungkook’s hand. “Don’t get lost.” She warned them and Jungkook grabbed Namjoon’s wrist as (Y/N) pulled him through the swarm of people.

In this weird snake-like formation they got to the top floor of the club where they could let go of each other and walk normally.

“This way.” She said chuckling and almost skipping as she led the two clueless boys to her private lounge. “Welcome to my little kingdom.” She said pushing the heavy door open and revealing a practically empty lounge. “Let’s drink together.” She plopped down on the couch. “Come on.” She encouraged the two as they shyly walked inside and took seats next to her.

It didn’t take much longer for (Y/N) to convince Namjoon and Jungkook to get pissed drunk with her. They started with ordering three half liter bottles of different flavoured soju, then came the bulgogi with tons of side dishes. After that they drank a whole bottle of pink champagne and ordered another serving of japchae, jajangmyeon and pepperoni pizza.

“I want to sing.” (Y/N) suddenly stated, her mouth full of delicious korean food she never ate before.

She stood up from the table and started meddling with the TV on the wall. After a couple of seconds of wrestling she had the remote in her hand. She sat on the counter of the table, her legs resting on the seat of the couch, eyes glued to the bright screen. She opened the YouTube app and typed in the title of one of her current favourite songs. As the music started playing slipped her sneakers off, still sitting on the table, body moving to the smooth beat.

“I don't have much to say, I'll be out front.” Jungkook pointed his arms towards (Y/N) and she stood up from the couch. “Won't you come spoil my night?” He joined in, standing up from his seat. “Feelings come into play-” She started walking towards the empty end of the ‘U’ shaped couch. “-and I'm thinkin' this happens every time.” She jumped down, joining the maknae in a purposeless dance, not caring that her white socks will turn black from the dirty dark carpeting by the end of the song.

They sang, danced, jumped around, twirled under each other’s arms, ran out of breath and laughed throughout the rest of the song. Tired from the sudden performance Jungkook fell back down on the couch, resting his head on the high headboard. (Y/N) slapped his shoulder so he moved to make space for her to sit next to him, Namjoon sitting across from them.

Jungkook took notice of how close she was right at that moment. Their thighs touched, her shoulder brushed against his as she leaned over the table to get her drink. He looked down at the bare skin of her legs, then his gaze travelled up over the black crewneck to her neck and finally her lips.

“Is that lip gloss?” His lips moved before he could stop himself.

(Y/N) turned her face towards him, her long hair extensions slipped over her shoulder.

“What?” As she looked at him with utter confusion he thanked all gods as he realised he spoke in Korean.

“We should order some more pork!” He exclaimed, still in Korean and looked at Namjoon for translation.

“Uh- he wants to eat pork.” The older boy said eying his junior with suspicion. Did his ears fool him or did he just hear Jungkook ask (Y/N) about her lip gloss?

“Isn’t this pork?” She asked, gesturing with her drink to one of the dishes on the table.

“Ah, yes.” Jungkook chuckled nervously and ran his hand through his hair. “Silly me.” He grabbed his chopsticks and took a big bite of the remaining bulgogi.

Jungkook excused himself to the bathroom with a promise of bringing up at least one bottle of soju on his way back. Feeling his stomach turn from overeating and blurting out stupid comments he walked out onto the corridor and down the stairs to the bar.

Namjoon looked at (Y/N) from across the table. She rested her head in her hands, her eyelids fluttered open and closed slowly as if she was trying not to fall asleep. She looked stunning to him.

“(Y/N)...” He muttered, not entirely sure where this sentence would take him.

“RM.” She whispered back, batting her eyelashes and finally opening her eyes up to look straight at him. “What?” She leaned her head to one side.

“Go out with me.” He simply asked.

It wasn’t that alcohol gave him enough courage to actually say those words it was more that it made him care little enough to try and risk the possibility of getting rejected by his ultimate celebrity crush.

“Like on a date?” She asked unsure of what he meant.

Realising he had to explain himself to her suddenly brought him back to reality. What was he thinking? Asking her out? Asking her out?!

“No, like for dinner. T-to hang out.” He babbled scratching his head.

“Oh.” (Y/N) leaned back onto the headboard behind her. “Okay, sure.” The sweetness of her voice gave Namjoon enough of a nudge to look up at her again. “But I only have time in the late evening, like really late, ‘cause we’re doing some- I have a photoshoot for- and a- ah, whatever.” The amount of alcohol she consumed made it hard for her to form a proper sentence without going off topic. “I have work all day. I can see you in the evening.” Namjoon nodded with a faint smile making its way to his lips. “I’ll text you.” His agreeing answer was drowned by Jungkook’s loud exclamation as he stumbled back through the door.

“Look what I got!” He called with a laugh, raising up two bottles of cherry flavoured soju.

138 notes · View notes

radiantform · 4 years ago

Text

the hardest struggle for me right now is the hurdle of forgiving ppl when they have hurt me...i think maybe bec its so hard for me ...i keep finding myself in this position repeatedly where i encounter ppl who hurt me over and over until i can transform my pain into forgiveness, not taking it personal, not letting it change me etc. I think the hardest part is like how confusing it is...the layers of trauma from abuse making me feel like i need to protect myself and get away from hurtful ppl. I always want to run away, cut off a relationship. I think i tend to give way too much... somehow i unconsciously think if i give so much ppl wont hurt me but its not at all true but ive just been doing it so long that it feels like a deep groove.

my landlord who is also my friend and own/ lives on this land im farming on telling me i don’t care about ppl dying in india bec i have questions, concerns that inform my choice to not get the vaccine...and then never apologizing for losing it and projecting all these hateful things on to me...i see her everyday and she acts like nothing happened.... friends who don’t know anything about health telling me(someone who has a huge library on health books and has studied herbalism, Chinese and ayurvedic medicine and spiritual/physical healing modalities my whole life) that the styles of health i am into are just anti science quacks ...coworkers saying well its your choice not to get vaccinated while ppl who have can not wear a mask but i have to keep mine on ...so i worked the entire pandemic..was aware of everything going on the whole time, had to keep quiet and now everyone is willing to treat me like i am not a person suddenly. its so uncomfortable....but i have to keep showing up and being chill while other ppl know im vulnerable and will act in ways that exploit that by playing funny games like their in high school thinking no one can see what they’re doing but its obvious bec everyone knows everything all the time...we are intricately connected on psychic levels...just bec no one is calling u out doesnt mean theyre not aware...ppl totally underestimate our ability to feel the deep invisible currents

in so many ways right now i feel like i have to figure out how to not let other ppls aggression affect me ...not take it personal but also not hold onto it...not let it make me like them, transform it, be love, be the example....ugh. last night i cried myself to sleep thinking about work and how i just want to quit and i dont want to see my coworker who was hurtful but they are also supporting our csa and i go to their house every wednesday and give them so many amazing vegetables and flowers ..so like i cant really get out of this... i have to level up. everyone is so misguided and i have to forgive them and hope they heal......... buts its so f hard ...in all of these examples of ppl who hurt me, they’re more well off than i am...have more privileges' etc... have familys, own houses, have more money, more time, more everything honestly... like didnt work the whole pandemic, was on unemployment...not living in a tiny shed cabin working super hard all day trying to grow food and save seeds for our community and putting their truth and research out there in a time where its unpopular not cool etc but all of that is also so f irrelevant. my mind still think bec i have less than others and i give more i shouldnt be the one to change but really all signs are pointing to i have to fucking do this difficult thing or else i will just go insane probably and this is probably why im here... make it extremely difficult to do the right thing, have every reason not to forgive someone but if u do the right thing it will be courageous and empowering and a good example ahhhhhhh lol

3 notes · View notes

pinkykitten · 5 years ago

Text

The Bracelet

X-Men Hank McCoy x insecure! female reader

Specifics/Warnings: angst, fluff, one-shot, race neutral reader

Words: 1,345

Requested: By @queengiuliettafirstlady do you write a lil angst insecure reader with hank like she thinks she is always the second wheel for evryone because first she fall for logan who loves jean and then she fall for hank who loves mystique and then once she yells all her frustation at remy his best friend and hank listen and then confronts her about it and then he confesses he loves her and she at first is angry because thinks he is lyng and then he swears he was telling the truth and kiss her and she says that she loves him too sorry if it was too long or too difficult to write I hope you will have fun and I am sure You will surely doo a great job because I already adore how you write last favor tag me when you publish it I Thank you have a nice day or night

Authors Note: my first hank fic. havent written marvel in a while so i kinda missed it. sorry i havent written in a while guys but i hope you like this.

Hank had just finished one of his latest projects and everyone was proud of him. He was so smart, most likely always the smartest in the room. It was something he had been working on it for quite some time now and you wanted to give him a gift.

In all your time at the X-mansion you had fallen in love and quickly have realized that you are not the one.

You smiled looking at the present you made him. It was a beaded bracelet you made that spelled out U R Awesome! “Its perfect,” you said lifting it high in the air to see it gleam within the sunlight.

You quickly raced to Hank’s room and accidentally bumped into Logan. Your eyes widened and you almost choked, “oops, sorry.” You were about to walk away until you saw Jean. Jean chuckled as she helped Logan up and leaned against him. You clutched the bracelet you made tightly. Your knuckles hurting. It was once upon a time but you had this immense love for Logan. He trained you in X-Men and you two had gotten close. You thought close as lovers but he thought friendship and instead went with Jean. The feeling has dissipated and instead been replaced with feelings for Hank. But you always felt worthless and unloved. You loved this guy and thought the world was yours and his and turns out no wait there is a third person in the mix and she is more important than you. You always felt like the third wheel with them and every person in the X-mansion that had a lover.

“No problem, just, be careful next time,” Logan grunted as Jean held onto his hand and they went on their merry way.

You pushed the past away and instead had a glimmer of hope with Hank. You skipped your way to his room and thought of all the things he would say. Would he like it? Is this too much? Would this give him the right or wrong ideas? You wanted to ask him on a date but you were nervous to. Pausing at his door you inhaled. You were an X-men. You’ve dealt with aliens, monsters, dead people coming back to life and yet this seemed the most challenging thing out of all those.

You opened the door and found Raven laughing with Hank. She had that glow. The glow that was present on people when they were in love. You experienced it too. Her cheeks were pink from blushing and she had her hand on Hank’s shoulder. That made you irate but what got to you was when she lifted up a box with a bow on it to Hank.

Your heart stopped and your lips trembled. You were too late. Hank opened the box and inside was a key?

“What is this?” Hank asked with a gleam in his eye and a raise of his brow.

“This is a key to your new set up. You got a desk, a ton of sciency stuff and more machines and notebooks to help you with your researches.”

Hank couldn’t believe it. He was shocked just as much as you. She was good. Really good. You stared down at your gift and grimaced. Seriously? A bracelet? You bit your lip to keep the tears and cries inside.

Hank couldn’t stop himself from saying his thanks. He hugged tightly Raven and kissed her cheek.

This sent you over the rail. Of course she got him and where were you in this scenario? Well, you were left with nobody. All alone while everyone had someone to love. You felt like Freddie Mercury, can anybody find me someone to love?

You shook your head and started to the vending machines to eat your sorrows away. Your body darted away while Hank finally saw you. He was concerned and set off to find you.

“She’s just standing there and gives him a freaking key? Can you believe it and guess what? It goes to a ton of equipment for him! She’s smart. Really smart and apparently rich.” You rambled as you took a big bite out of a candy bar.

Remy stared at you wide eyed, trying to enjoy his gyro for lunch, “still. Even though she game him a gift like that yours is different and unique and its from you and it means a lot to you. Plus, you made it from your own bare hands so I guess it makes it pretty special. You should think more of yourself darling.”

You shooed him off, “how can I think so high of myself when all the guys I love don’t even notice I’m alive. I feel like 5th grade all over again.”

“I think you need to tell him how you feel. You don’t know. Hank is a strange guy and he’s a bit shy, maybe he’s shy to tell you the truth. What’s the worse that can happen?”

You stood up, “whats the worse that can happen? C’mon, you’re my best friend you should know by now. The worse thing that can happen is he gives up on me. He doesn’t look at me! He ignores me forever and maybe makes fun of me! Why is it so hard for Hank to see how much I love? Every time I see him my heart hurts and he never knows that! He never acknowledges me!”

Remy took a moment and then chuckled, “well you told him yourself.”

You turned around and low and behold Hank was there. Hands in his pocket like a lost man. His brows knitted together in hesitation and confusion. While anger was evident on your face. His blue eyes searched yours as if seeking for answers. “May I speak to you y/n?”

You huffed, “why? So you can just tell me how right I am? Oh, I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way.” You packed your things and were going to room but Hank grabbed your sleeve.

“No, please. That’s not it. I do have feelings for you. I was just too nervous and shy to tell you. I’ve noticed you y/n. Your beautiful face as well as your beautiful soul. I do like you y/n.”

You ripped your hand away. “Yeah right. I know what guys think. Don’t pity me. I know the truth. I saw you and Raven in the room. Who wouldn’t want to be with a girl like her?”

“Raven’s great and she’s my friend but she’s no you. You are so kind and so sweet to others and you put others above yourself. I love the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh or how your smile lights up the whole room you’re in. I’m sorry if I made you feel insignificant because y/n l/n you are everything but that. You mean a lot to me and I’m terribly sorry if I made you feel bad. Please forgive me.”

You searched in his eyes for a sign. A sign if this was a prank or a lie but you saw nothing of the sort. Instead all you saw was a man completely smitten over a woman that wanted him.

“Okay.” You didn’t resist no more.

Hank opened up his arms and you took the opportunity to get closer to him. You hugged him tightly to show that you were serious about this.

“But first I have to give you this,” you dug into your bag and brought out the bracelet. “I know its not as great as what Raven gave you but I made it. Also you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.”

Hank looked at the colorful beads and what it said and his smile grew big and wide. He brought you close and kissed your lips mid sentence. His lips were made for yours and it was in perfect sync. Your stomach was doing back flips and you saw fireworks the whole cheesy lot.

“I love you so much.”

You nuzzled your nose with his, “I love you more.”

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @marwantr, @divaanya, @obliteratethefrog, @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag), @spycii, @just-a-lonely-astronaut (wont let me tag)

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

Please Reblog, like or comment! It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it:)

148 notes · View notes

pan-inc · 4 years ago

Text

SDR2 Boys +Chiaki Figuring Out Their S/O Is FtM

Blank (Aka Mod Rantaro) was working on part SDR2 and DRV3 of the boys when they have a crush on you, but she dislocated her wrist part way of writing them and insisted she finish them herself, so I decided to do some work and write this with some ideas from Blank since I’m not too good at making ideas ;;

I don’t think I was too specific on whether or not they’re FtM or MtF, so go ahead and change the pronouns if you need!

(I myself am not transgender and don’t know anyone who is, so I’m very sorry if I get some incorrect information on you guys) Non-Despair AU

Y/N- Your Name D/N- Dead Name

-Mod Chihiro

Spoilers under the cut

(Warning, there is a tiny bit of dead naming in this but not in a ‘them trying to be transphobic or rude’ way, just them not knowing your actual name yet.)

Hajime Hinata

Not even gonna hide it, I headcannon Hajime as FtM as well, so let’s just go with he hasn’t told you about how he’s trans either.

“YOU’RE TRANS?! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE WE EVEN STARTED DATING D/N?!”

Him calling you by your now dead name made you flinch slightly, “I-Im sorry! I knew that you would be grossed out and stuff, so I-”

“Grossed out? Why the hell would I be grossed out by you being trans?”

“Y-You just got mad... Mad at me? And... A-And......” You are very confused, his mood switch from yelling to being concerned was a bit too much to deal with over the heart-pounding anxiety of coming out to him.

Your anxiety dies down a little and confusion rises through the roof once Hajime hugs you as tightly as he can, “I wasn’t mad at you being who you really are, I was just... A little upset that you didn’t trust me with this information earlier in our relationship, but I guess I have no room to talk.”

You hug him back while not processing the last part of his explanation, snuggling your face into his neck instead. “I also have something to tell you.” “Hm?”

“I’m also trans,,,,”

So after you two coming out to each other he takes a little bit to get used to your new name, and he promises to himself that he’ll buy you literally anything you need from The Store™ to feel comfortable once he gets a hang of your name.

If you feel ~dysphoria~ before then, he will not hesitate to let you borrow some of his baggier clothes and possibly even a binder if your body hates you enough.

Nagito Komeada

You wanted to talk to him about your transition, but he just started rambling on and on about hope. You were getting a little upset (so was Hajime, but a lot more than just a little upset.) but your anxiety about him not accepting you forced you to stay quiet and just let him ramble.

“God Nagito, if you’re not going to shut up for me at least do it to hear what D/N has to say.” Hajime snaps, shutting up Nagito.

“Y/N...” You whisper softly in an attempt to correct Hajime, but he doesn’t hear.

“Okay, what do you need D/N?” He seems slightly upset that Hajime interrupted his preaching, but lightened up when he started talking to you.

“Please call me Y/N!” You accidentally shout, quickly covering your mouth, “Sorry for yelling...”

Hajime, despite not knowing how to spell without help, clicked it in his brain what you were trying to say to Nagito, so he quickly excused himself and walks away.

“I’m sorry Y/N, what do you need?”

“I, uhm... You’re bisexual right? So, that means my transition won’t be too hard on you right?”

Nagito tilts his head to the side, but then quickly picks you up and hugs you.

“My wonderful Y/N is so amazing, don’t be filled with so much despair just because you want to come out to me!”

Honestly, what else would you expect. He’s insanely supportive of your transition and thinks of you as an even more special hope that he isn’t deserving of.

You might have to reassure him a bit more than you usually did, but it’s 100% worth it in the end.

Will totally lend you his jacket.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

To be honest, you came out to Peko before getting anywhere close to coming out to Fuyuhiko. You knew he loved you with all of his heart, but you were worried about if that would change if you transitioned.

Peko was really supportive, but she had let it slip a few times to Fuyuhiko.

Thank God Peko is smart enough to make a smooth recovery to make sure Fuyuhiko doesn’t find out before you’re comfortable with him knowing.

After a bit of encouraging and planning from Peko, you finally decided it was time to come out to him.

You walk up to Fuyuhiko, who was talking to Peko, and pull on his suit sleeve as gently as you could while still gaining his attention. “Huh? Yeah D/N?” “Can we talk about something?” You respond, trying to not sound too serious to try to not scare him.

Fuyuhiko looks at Peko, back at you, then back to Peko, as if asking for permission to leave the conversation.

“Go ahead Young Master. Our conversation can wait.” She smiles and walks away, leaving you panicking to yourself and a confused Fuyuhiko.

“U-Uhm... Does the Kuzuryu Clan support same sex relationships?”

“Huh? The hell? Why do you want to know that?”

“Because I am now the second leader of the Kuzuryu Clan, Y-Y/N! A-And now your.... Your b-boyfriend?”

“Well fuck, they better support gays and transgenders or they’re getting kicked out and fucking murdered.”

Peko smiles in strong Ally.

Kazuichi Soda

Big think.

Was he into guys? Before he got to know you, a gal (Sos if you aren’t), better he was enamored by Sonia, also a gal.

From what you know, he’s never liked any guys, so what if he wasn’t okay with dating you when you transitioned?

(Spoiler for later in this scenario, he’s bi-curious uvu)

You decided to come out to him using your knowledge that he taught you about making electronic stuff.

It was hard to hide that you were making something from him. but with a quick “I’m making a gift for you, you’re going to be so proud of me!” He (reluctantly) leaves you be to create whatever your creating.

After a long bit of working, you had finally finished.

Two little doll-like items (Kinda like Mini Maru) that looked like Kazuichi and the real you. The Mini Y/N was holding a trans flag and Mini Kazu had a blank flag that can be changed at a later time, and the two Minis had their arms intertwined.

“Kazu~! Look look, I’m done with my project!”

He turns and looks at your invention. “Oh, what is this D/N? Is that me? Who’s that?”

“It’s me and you of course!”

After a bit of his confusion, he understands and supports you greatly. Like a simp

Gundham Tanaka

After thinking about the pros and cons of every possible way to come out to G U N D H A M T A N A K A , you just decided to come out to him in a more straight-forward way after brainstorming with Sonia.

You run up behind the slightly embarrassed G U N D H A M T A N A K A who was being complimented by Sonia and jump onto him, almost making him fall over onto poor Sonia. After giving her the signal she excuses herself and makes her escape.

After getting off G U N D H A M T A N A K A ‘s back and calming him down from his extremely blushy state, you start panicking over what to do again.

‘What if he doesn’t like me because I’m a guy? What if he’s transphobic? Love isn’t the purpose of life, but he’s been such a huge part of me that I don’t even know how I’d be if he was gone. You’d be so lost without him-’

“Fallen Angel, are you alright? My skin didn’t poison you, did it?” He asks, obvious concern in his voice.

“Oh, no, it’s not that.” You take a deep breath, look up at him, and push your anxiety as far down as it can go.

“I-I don’t want to be your Queen a-anymore!”

“You... Don’t want to be my Queen?” There was a lot of pain in his voice and you realize what you said.

“T-That’s not what I meant! I want to be your Queen of the Underworld and Overworld, b-but I would...” You take a deep breath, “I would rather be your K-King!”

He pulls you into his arms and hugs you as tightly as he can, burying his face into your neck.

You hug him back, “Also, please call me Y/N.”

“Anything for my King. I will tell my Devas of this news so they do not make you uncomfortable.”

Sonia is very happy about the energy she has created in the studio today.

Nekomaru Nedai

I’m not very good at writing for Nekomaru so I’m gonna have to skip the coming out part, I’m very sorry if you wanted to read you coming out to him TvT

But anyways~

He isn’t the brightest light bulb, so he does his research.

If you wear chest binders he’ll panic quite a bit but after asking you and gaining more knowledge, he goes less hard on you when it comes to exercising.

Your binder is giving you troubles? Fucking take a break, take it off, B R E A T H E.

Oh, you want muscles to look more ‘manly’ like him? First, he will let you know that you don’t have to look ‘manly’ to be who you are. If you still insist then he will help with your want.

Teruteru Hanamura

Before you officially got together he would flirt with practically everyone no matter their gender, so you were pretty confident about him not leaving you because he’s ‘NoT gAy’. So uh

I’m horrible at writing him

So just know he’s supportive and doesn’t really mind that you transition.

Chiaki Nanami

“Hey Chiaki? Can I talk to you about something?” You walk into her room with your beautiful flag in your arms.

“Yes D/N?” Chiaki hums, not looking away from the screen of whatever she was playing.

You drape your flag over your arms and then wrap them around Chiaki’s neck in an attempt to hug her from behind, “Please call me Y/N.”

She looks over at the flag and after a bit of the wheels in her brain turning, it clicks in her brain what you mean. “Okay. Is there anything else you need, Y/N?” You smile at your names coming from her and sit next to her properly and nuzzle into her hair while using your flag as a blanket, “Just your support.”

She smiles softly, “You already have that bunny, you should know that already. Also, tell me if my nicknames make you feel uncomfortable.”

Very supportive, will get into the head of anyone who says anything mean to you about you being transgender.

But besides that she doesn’t really make a big deal of you being trans. A gud gorl.

Ultimate Imposter

He’s someone who can and will be the impostor of anyone no matter their gender (’Cuz that’s his whole ultimate) So he absolutely wouldn’t judge you for changing genders, right?

So I’ve rewritten this like 4 times, even with the help of Mod Rantaro, and neither of us know his personality very well so sorry about this.

Either way, he’d be very supportive and buy you everything you need to feel comfortable in your body.

Izuru Kamakura

Hm.

Oh, you’re trans?

Oh cool.

So who are we giving despair to today?

#SDR2 #headcanons #danganronpa headcanons #DR2 Boys #Hajime Hinata #nagito komaeda #Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu #Kazuichi Soda #Gundham Tanaka #Nekomaru Nedai #Teruteru Hanamura #Chiaki Nanami #transimagines #trans coming out #Ultimate Imposter #Izuru Kamakura

35 notes · View notes

jaehyun-eclipsed · 4 years ago

Text

Before I Met You | Twenty-Two: Part One

Next Update: ~February 15, 2021 **2/13/21 update: The next update may be delayed until the second week of March. I apologize for the delay -- school has been quite busy this semester, so I’m working a lot slower than anticipated. Thanks for your patience! **3/27/21 Update: My sincerest apologies. I didn’t plan very well with scheduling... I’m finishing up a big project with school and am hoping to release the next chapter next weekend!

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: Hello! This is a slightly shorter update. Things are getting busy for me again, so I’m going to try to do updates once a month or so rather than going MIA for a few months. Thanks for being patient and don’t be afraid to say hello or send any feedback!

Before I Met You Masterlist

Prev | Next

My eyes slowly open and I blink a few times to adjust to the stream of light coming through the blinds. Sitting up, I look around. This is my room. This is my bed. My blanket. My dog. I give the plush a squeeze. Everything is here and I’m okay.

My breath hitches upon seeing the packages of pistachios and cookies on my desk. Johnny left them here and now everything is more clear as to why I feel so dreary upon waking up. I was hoping last night didn’t play out the way it actually had, but I’m a bit too smart for my own good to trick myself.

I imagine he probably won’t miss them if I didn’t return them to him, but I don’t want them to go stale in my room. Plus, I would like to say goodbye.

Slowly, I place my feet into my slippers and wash up in the bathroom. My grandma wanted to take my dad and me out to lunch to celebrate the end of the semester. I’m looking forward to the meal, but I seem to have lost my appetite. There’s sort of this nerve wracking feeling inside me despite my calm demeanor. Like an overwhelming amount of cortisol is being pumped through my body and I’m working on autopilot to move around and pack up my belongings without feeling any depletion of energy.

Is this what it’s like to have a crush on a boy and to know he returns your affections?

I thought I’d be happier. More giddy.

But really, I’m just nervous. And perhaps it’s because I know there’s a bit of a complication: Johnny still needs to break up with his girlfriend.

All of those corny movie plots with the assholes are brought to my head. The guy never breaks up with his old girlfriend before he gets with the new one. Even in real life, it’s always messy.

“I’ll do it soon,” he says.

“When the time is right,” he says.

But then he never does.

I wanted to hope that this wouldn’t be the case. Which is why I didn’t want anything to go too far last night. And so, I firmly decide that I’m not getting together with him until things are cleared up.

But I really want this to work out. I really do.

Everything will be fine.

I take a deep breath. Smile to myself.

Everything will be just fine.

I receive a text that my dad will be here to pick me up in a half hour. So I grab the snack bags and run upstairs. When Johnny answers the door, he looks surprised to see me, almost as if he had been afraid he scared me off last night and I wouldn’t want anything to do with him ever again.

My gaze falls. “Um, you left these in my room,” I say and hold out the snacks.

It takes him a moment before he takes the packages from me, apparently careful not to brush his hands against mine.

“You don’t want any?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, thanks. I’m going to lunch soon.”

We linger in the doorway for several more moments in silence. I’m gnawing on my lip and shifting my gaze to different points on the floor. I think Johnny’s watching me, but I still can’t bring myself to look at him.

“Have a good break,” he says, his statement coming out as more of a question due to an uncertainty of what to say.

“Yeah, you too.” I smile lightly and as if out of reflex, I perch up onto my tiptoes and throw my right arm around Johnny’s neck, pulling him close for a hug goodbye. He jumps slightly at my sudden contact, but wraps one arm around my waist. Quickly, I release him, take one last glance, offer a smile, and turn around to walk back to my room.

When I return to my room, I check my phone and see a text from Johnny.

J: do u need help carrying your bags downstairs?

Me: No, that’s okay. I only have a couple bags. I can get them myself

Me: Thanks though

J: np

There’s a pause.

J: I’ll call u tonite?

I nod to myself before typing back a response.

Me: Yeah

Me: Talk to you later

J: :3

“You’re not eating very much,” Dad remarks.

I push a dumpling around on my plate with my chopsticks. “I don’t feel that hungry… even though I do want to eat this.”

“What happened last night?”

I proceed to tell my dad all of the events of last night—Hendery’s unawareness, lunch, the bookstore, the movie, Minji, the confession. I really liked Johnny, but I had no idea how this was going to work out—or even if it would work out.

“Don’t worry too much about it. Things always work themselves out,” he says.

I know what this means. Implicitly, he’s saying that if it’s meant to work out, it will. And if not… then I guess that’s just the way it is and I’ll have to accept that too. It’s just hard when feelings are messy. You want it to work out, but you expect the worse as a defense mechanism in case it doesn’t end up working out.

That evening, Johnny calls me just before he’s about to go to sleep.

“Hii,” he sings into the phone. “How was your day?”

I smile upon hearing his voice. “Hey, it was all right. How was yours?”

“It was good,” he responds. “Was thinking about you a lot.”

“Aww,” I coo. “Really?”

“Yeah, I know I saw you earlier, but I miss you.” He sighs. “And now I have to wait an entire month before I get to see you again.”

I press my lips together. I let out a sigh of disappointment. “Yeah, a whole month. But we can still talk on the phone!”

“Yeah!”

There’s a brief silence as I deliberate over whether or not I want to ask my next question. The answer is of no real consequence, but I’m curious.

“Hey, I wanna ask you something,” I say. “When did you start to like me?”

Johnny chuckles. “I knew you were gonna ask that,” he says. “I don’t know. Sometime during dead week.”

“Did you know that I liked you?”

“Yeah, I kinda figured you did. That’s why I decided to tell you.” I hear him let out a breath and picture him shrugging. “You kept wanting to hang out with me so I thought you had to have some feelings for me.”

Nodding to myself, I bite my lip in thinking about last night. “You know,” I begin. “I did want you to hold me last night…”

“I know,” he says simply. “We’ll just have to wait until after break. And then we can have sleepovers!”

“How are we going to have sleepovers if Jia is in my room and Hendery is in your room?”

“Hendery never sleeps in his room. He’s always with Yeeun and sleeps in her room.”

My face scrunches into an expression of confusion. “Are they… are they dating?”

“Yeah.”

Despite the fact that I’m looking forward to going home and telling Hana and Hyojin everything that’s happened, I really want to skip over a month to be back with Johnny.

Hopefully by that time, he’ll be single.

“Hey, so,” he begins hesitantly. I hear him shifting around in bed, the shuffling of his blankets echoes through the phone. “I probably won’t be able to talk to you much tomorrow.”

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the day he’s meeting Minji.

Tomorrow is the day he’s supposed to break up with Minji.

Johnny is supposed to go into the city, meet Minji, break up with her, and then go home in the evening. There are a ton of questions running through my head. Is Johnny going to meet up with her and break up with her right then and there? Why doesn’t he just call her to tell her it’s off? Isn’t it kind of inconsiderate to go out with your girlfriend the entire day, knowing in the back of your head that you’re going to break up with her, but go about the day like nothing’s wrong?

It’s not really any of my business and the more I think about it, the more unsettled I become.

“Okay…” I say finally.

“I’ll send you pictures throughout the day though! To let you know what I’m doing!” he says cheerfully.

It’s clearly an attempt to make me feel better about the situation. Though, I find it strange that he’s so casual about the whole thing. Like sending pictures to me while on an outing with his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is totally fine. Wouldn’t she get suspicious? And won’t I feel… envious? Why do I want to know what he’s doing on a date?

Like Dad said: everything will work itself out.

“You okay?” he suddenly asks.

It takes me a few moments to respond, but I say, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay, I’m going to go to bed now. Goodnight! I miss you!”

“Goodnight.”

“He’s really cute, Y/N,” Hana says excitedly.

“I know, right?!” I respond with an equal amount of enthusiasm. “I’m just wondering what’s going on today with him. He may not break up with her.” I sigh. “In which case, I’ll just have to let it go… and continue to be single. Almost twenty-one years strong!”

I pump my fist into the air even though Hana can’t see it over the phone. She chuckles lightly and murmurs some general words of encouragement for me not to give up yet.

“I’d just be careful, Y/N,” she says hesitantly. “He sounds like a nice guy, but you never know.”

The weight on my shoulders returns as I take her words to heart. I know she’s right… even before this I was weary of the whole thing. But I think it should work out. I really like him and I enjoy talking to him. Just take it slow and things will be fine.

“So what about your love life, Hana? Did you meet anyone during the semester?”

There’s a silence before I finally hear Hana release the breath she’s been holding followed by a click of her tongue. “I want to ask your opinion on something, but I’m afraid you’ll judge me for it.”

I frown, slightly upset that she would be so afraid of my opinion. “What’s up?”

“Well, I kinda like one of my housemates…”

I blink several times. “Okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re in the same boat—”

“No, we’re not,” she says quickly. “See, so, his name is Jinhyung… we had a class together and he asked if I wanted to study with him in his room. We have another roommate named Joon and I think Joon has had a crush on me and he gets upset whenever he sees me hanging out with Jinhyung. Joon has a whiteboard and he wrote some house rules on it. The first was ‘clean your own dishes’ and the second is ‘no fucking your housemates.’”

I begin laughing. “Wait, so obviously he doesn’t want you and Jinhyung getting together… but what if you said you would sleep with him?”

“I—I don’t know! I guess it doesn’t apply to him!”

“That’s hypocritical. Anyway, continue…”

“Well, Jinhyung made a joke that he and I already broke one of those rules and Joon got really upset. But uh, one day, I texted him to ask if he wanted to study and he actually thought I meant real studying and then realized what I meant. So we talked about it and—oh my gosh I’m so scared to tell you.”

I remain silent, patiently waiting for her to continue. Though, I think I know where this is going.

“I slept with him,” she finally admits.

“So… what? Was it good?”

“Uh—I—I, yeah, I guess so.” She sounds shocked. “You don’t—you don’t think it’s bad?”

I shrug. “No, you guys talked about it, right? Like you discussed what both of you wanted out of this?”

“Yeah, basically. Like we’re just doing this for fun. No strings attached.”

“So you’re basically friends with benefits,” I say more as a statement than a question.

“Yeah,” she confirms. “Gosh, I was so scared you would disapprove.”

“You two talked about it and it was consensual. So as long as both of you are on the same page, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I think you need to be careful because feelings can get complicated, but right now it seems fine.”

Right then, my phone vibrates and I see a text from Johnny.

J: Hey! I hope ur day went well!

J: Uh I can’t really talk right now, but long story short it got late so Minji is spending the night

J: I’m going home in the morning I’ll talk to u tmrw! 😘

I guess I unknowingly let out a sound of disappointment because Hana proceeds to ask me what’s wrong.

“His girlfriend is spending the night and he’s going to go home tomorrow.”

“What?!” she exclaims in disbelief.

“I mean”—I bite my lip and then frown— “I didn’t ask how this was going to go down, but I didn’t think it would lead to this.”

Hana and I are both quiet for a minute. There’s something I’m wondering about and my guess is that Hana’s silence means she’s thinking the same thing. Neither of us want to ask it though because I think we both know the answer. What else would you do if your long distance girlfriend came to visit and she ended up spending the night with you and both of you are alone since your roommate has gone home for break?

But if you’re going to break up, would you still do it?

Or is it a simple decision because you’d view it as a “last pleasure goodbye”?

“Are you okay?” she asks, her tone full of concern.

I bite my lip as I stare at the message, responding a quick “Okay” and leaving it at that.

“Not really,” I say honestly.

“I think you should just go to sleep and wait and see what happens tomorrow.”

And this is what I was afraid of… that Johnny would go meet his girlfriend and tell me he was going to break up with her and then just… not be able to go through with it. Which is exactly why I wanted to be careful about getting my hopes up.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I say. “No good overthinking the whole thing. Thanks.”

“Of course. Goodnight, friend!”

“Goodnight.”

I clutch my phone in both of my hands and let them rest on top of the blankets as I lie staring at the ceiling. I know I need to be careful. I usually am. Just take it slow. See what happens tomorrow.

“Do you want oatmeal with pumpkin?” my grandma asks.

“Okay.”

It’s nearly noon as I watch my grandma spoon some oatmeal into a bowl and then bring over a jar of cane sugar for me to sprinkle on top. We’re staying here for a few days before driving back to Oregon. Normally, I’d have distractions because I’d have to study, but since I’m on break, I slept in and there isn’t much to do besides watch movies and wait.

Surprisingly, scrolling through today’s headlines is rather boring. I answer a few messages from Chaeyoung and feel my heart leap as soon as I see a text from Johnny.

J: Everything’s all good!

I purse my lips. Everything’s all good? What does that mean? He broke up with her? Things are good?

“Dad?” I call as he walks into the living room.

“Yes?”

“Johnny just texted me saying, ‘Everything’s all good,’” I say. “What does that mean?”

“I guess… Everything’s been cleared up?” There’s a tone of slight uncertainty in his answer.

I look down at my phone again and read a second message.

J: Do u want to call soon? Im almost home

“He wants to call soon,” I say aloud. “You think he’ll tell me what happened?”

“Probably.”

Me: Okay!

Slowly, I eat my oatmeal. The ticking of the clock makes me anxious and impatient. What happened? He told her and it was all good? Did he sleep with her last night and then dump her—that’s kinda rough. Wouldn’t it have been better to dump her before going out?

His voice is like warm honey when he greets me, like there’s a renewed happiness and joy in his tone. It almost sounds like there was nothing ever wrong to begin with. Like today is just a normal day and he’s calling his girlfriend like usual.

“How has your day been?” he asks.

“Uh, well, I woke up at like eleven and had some oatmeal.” I hold my phone between my ear and shoulder and place my laptop onto the nightstand next to the bed. Gripping the phone to my ear again, I continue. “I was just browsing through YouTube, but I couldn’t find anything to watch.”

“Well, you can talk to me now!”

“How’s your day been?” I ask immediately.

“Oh, it was fine. I got home like an hour ago and my mom made me lunch,” he says. “And now I’m talking to you!”

His lack of disclosure is quite evident. He’s keeping it to a minimum and only directly answering what he’s asked.

“So how’d everything go?”

“Oh.” He says it like he wasn’t expecting me to ask. “It was okay.”

I wait a few moments before asking him what happened.

“She spent the night and in the morning we took BART back and got off and I told her at the last stop,” he says.

“What—what did you tell her?”

“I told her that there was someone else and she said she sort of figured that’s what happened,” he responds. “It also turns out that she was sort of cheating on me with someone at school.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so, whatever.” I catch him let out a sharp breath before his voice changes to a more positive tone. “But everything is all clear and good now!”

Assuming this is all true, it’s interesting that Minji was also being unfaithful. I don’t ask for the details, but at the very least, it seems like both of them were emotionally cheating. Seems a bit sad though that they’d rather keep the other person around rather than break up with them. Clearly they had both lost interest in each other. Why continue? Complacency? Security? Fear of being alone? All of the above?

“I’m kinda sad that we have to wait until break before we can see each other again,” he says.

“Yeah, but it’s only a month!” I respond, attempting to be optimistic.

“But aren’t you graduating in a year?”

“Yes.”

I can tell he’s pouting a bit from his tone. “That’s not very long. We’ll have to have lots of sleepovers!”

“Johnny, we have school and studying.”

“Be prepared not to sleep!”

My face grows hot as I realize the implications. There was nothing preventing us from becoming a couple other than my own hesitance. And then there were things like holding hands, first kiss, and all that—things I’ve never done with anyone before and I wasn’t quite sure if he knew or suspected.

Sex. I’ve never had sex.

I didn’t want to give the impression that I had never experienced it before, but when it came down to it, he’d figure it out pretty quickly.

“But I have morning classes!” I argue.

“Hmph. Weekends then!”

I’m at a loss of what to say when he continues.

“Don’t worry. I’m responsible! We support each other!”

A smile makes its way onto my lips. “Yes,” I reply simply.

“I’ll keep you safe.”

Prev | Next

Before I Met You Masterlist

Masterlist

#nct #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #na jaemin #mark lee #lucas wong #nct dream #nct u #superm #before I met you

8 notes · View notes

sunflowerhae · 5 years ago

Note

She plays bass with jaehyun pls!! Also your music taste is *chefs kiss*

| 📣 > > ty! I quite like my music taste as well🥳😌 follow my spotify if u wanna see my playlists lmao (( @coolangelgwen - lowkey hate myself for this one but no regrets, right?!? )) I tried to make a more realistic conversation style, but idk how I feel abt it. Lemme know! Also~~ last thing, I promise - this isn’t proofread lol so sorry if it’s bad

Send in your own requests! 🧚🏻‍♀️🐮

“Hey, won't you call me back? ‘Cause I've been waiting for a text back. It hurts my brain - This chick who plays bass”

“Jesus Jaehyun, simp much?” Jaehyun reluctantly drew his line of sight from the unlit screen of his phone to the eyes of his best friend.

“What? No, what do you mean?” Johnny rolled his eyes and glanced around the coffee shop the two currently sat in, not focusing his attention on anything specific, before returning his gaze back on the hopeless romantic in front of him.

“I know you’re waiting for her to text you.” At the ~truthful~ words thrown across the table in humor, Jaehyun rolled his own eyes with a “psh” - trying to play off the fact that Johnny was unfortunately right.

“Her” was in fact Y/l/n Y/n, a girl he met at the NCT party that his frat held the previous night. Jaehyun didn’t usually enjoy or attend them, but he had a feeling (some unknown feeling) that he should maybe go to this one, so he found a calming spot in a corner, hunkered down with a beer and a bowl of chips, and prayed that the party would end soon. Friends came by and talked to him, girls came by to seduce him, but Jaehyun’s ass stayed firmly cushioned on his seat in that little, calming corner.

The corner just so happened to be near the food table, so people were coming and going; you were not privy to this fact. You - much like Jaehyun - didn’t usually attend these events. It wasn’t that you had anything against them, you just felt there were better ways to spend your nights. However, Haechan - your best friend - practically begged you to come, stating that,

“it’d be nice to have at least one other cool person there!” And when the younger boy used his pouting charms on you, you found yourself agreeing to his request.

It was lame, though. Haechan had been stuck like glue to you the whole night, prancing you around to his frat brothers and with the obnoxious, “see - I told you she was real!”, he enjoyed seeing the fire of joy ignite in his brothers eyes the more they got to know you. Haechan claimed it was because you were quite known on campus for being the cool, quiet skater girl with good fashion, and everyone who had a conversation with you came out better because of it. You would just respond that he was the Leslie to your Ann (which he would just laugh at, joking that he has scrapbooks of your friendship - thus scaring you more). What was lame, was the party. There was no reason or organization, which you didn’t really care about, you just hated the amount of people, thus lessening the amount of air flow. One glance at the food table that had basically no one by it, and you were telling hyuck you were going to get food and heading that way.

When Jaehyun first saw you, his mind immediately registered who you were. Y/n. The girl that skated through campus, and had dyed hair, and always had butterfly clips in. He had always wanted to meet you, but was never courageous enough to act on it. It was funny, girls practically killed for a conversation with him, yet the one girl he actually wanted, never even looked his way.

That was until now.

You turned your body out to the crowd and glanced around; eyes landing on the little, calming corner, and on the boy who was already looking straight at you. You knew him. Jaehyun. A lot of people liked him, but you specifically knew him as a member of this frat.

“Hi!” You smiled, and he looked surprised that you were even talking to him.

“Hey,” he waved back, “y/n, right?”

You moved closer to him, “yeah, Jaehyun, right? You know Haechan.”

“Oh, yeah I do. You know Haechan?”

“He’s my best friend.” You both nodded at this, but Jaehyun looked a bit surprised.

“Wow, how do you know Haechan? Aren’t you older?”

“I mean, yeah. How do you know I’m older?” You had a playful tone, which calmed Jaehyun’s nerves a bit.

“Oh, we have a class together. Environmental Impact on Civilization with Professor Cilinado?” Your eyes went wide, and even with the strobe lights going off, Jaehyun could see the blush that projected itself onto your cheeks.

“Shit, that’s right. Hi!” You both laughed, “um, I don’t know, Haechan just kind of came up to me once and started talking like we’ve known each other for years and I went along with it, and I guess the rest is history.” The memory of meeting your best friend made a smile cross onto your face, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but think you were beautiful.

“Yeah, that seems like him. Weird I’ve never met you, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t really come to this stuff.”

“Same, what do you like to do?”

“Um..listen to music, I like to play my bass, skate, I guess.”

“Wow, you play bass?” Jaehyun’s eyes went wide in surprise, and you laughed at his taken aback expression.

“Yeah, why, do I seem like someone who wouldn’t?” Jaehyun felt idiotic for once more saying something insensitive, but you, again, had a smile on your face.

“No! Yes? I’m not sure, it’s just always cool to hear that someone plays an instrument. And the bass is so cool.”

You start to respond, but turn your head instead at the sound of Haechan calling your name. “Well, can’t keep the devil waiting. Speaking of, if you want you can get my number from Haechan, text me!” Jaehyun eagerly nods, but you’re already walking away; your back turned around.

Johnny has to literally snap his fingers in front of Jaehyuns face to shake him from the memory of last night, and the moment Jaehyun saw Johnnys amused face, he knew he was caught.

“What’d I say - simp.”

“She plays bass, she plays bass. Nothing matters 'cause we're both in space”

Y/n (4:57pm) hey Jaehyun! I’m happy u texted me! Yesssss let’s totally do something together!! What did u have in mind??

And that’s how you and Jaehyun - basically strangers - ended up on the hood of his car at 1 am; eating chicken nuggets from McDonald’s and looking at the stars together.

“Everyone knows the buffalo sauce is the best, Jaehyun!” He laughed at your counter argument, but shook his head none the less.

“No, honey mustard is superior!”

“No, because you could get that anywhere-“

“-you could get buffalo anywhere! And why is it orange, and why does it taste the way it does?” You were both laughing in between arguing your respective sides, and if it weren’t for the slightly uncomfortable position of laying on the hood of a car, this moment would have been picture perfect (but really, it was anyway).

You were thankful that the college you went to wasn’t directly in the city, so when Jaehyun picked you up and drove to a good star gazing place, it was easy to see the night sky.

“Sometimes, I like to close my eyes and imagine I’m floating in space. It feels kind of trippy.” Jaehyun turned his head at the sound of your voice, but you continued staring at the sky.

“How do you do that?” He asked.

“Well, I have to be in a completely dark and silent room. Then, I just unfocus my gaze and I don’t move my body at all. It’s how people become, uh..Jesus what’s the word? When they get like, controlled?-“

“-hypnotized?”

“Yeah! I watched a video where he hypnotized the crowd and the viewers to see their past life - it was crazy.” Through out your small speech, you waved your hands a lot, and Jaehyun took notice of the fact that you spoke with your hands; it was something small, but he tucked it into the back of his head, and kept it to think about for when he needed to smile.

“What was your past life?”

“I lived at an old korean palace - like 19th century. I wasn’t a high position, but I was wealthy. I wore red a lot.”

“Send me the link?” You finally turned to lock eyes with Jaehyun.

“Yes, of course.” You both smiled at each. Nothing was said, but both of you could practically feel yourselves making room for each other in your hearts, the longer you sat on the hood of Jaehyun’s car; staring at the stars.

“How I wish we could just date - So you can teach me how to be more like you”

Jaehyun could feel himself fidgeting slightly while he waited for you to open the door to your apartment. After gazing at the stars, you offered him a tour of your place and a beer or two, and Jaehyun didn’t admit it, but he didn’t care if you said you wanted to kill someone - he would have agreed if it meant spending more time with you.

“Sorry it’s kind of a mess! I was going to clean it on Wed...” your voice continued going, but the farther you walked away, the less Jaehyun heard it, so he just chose to instead look around the main area of your apartment, and what he found left him in awe.

A black bass sat snugly in the corner of your living room, surrounded by plants. Behind your couch framed, vintage movie posters decorated the wall, and fairy lights, records, and books sat on the shelf above your tv.

You came out of the kitchen with a wine bottle and two glasses, and you sat them down on the coffee table while Jaehyun took a seat on your couch. “I like your apartment.”

You looked back at him with a smile while pouring yourselves drinks, and sat down next to him while laughing, “thanks. Like I said, it’s kind of messy,” you paused to take a drink, “But it’s home. Bleh, wine makes me feel old.” Jaehyun nodded while laughing, and the air became thick with quietness, which teetered between awkward and calm leniently. Jaehyun - as slyly as he could - stared at your side profile while you started talking about the movie posters hanging behind you. You had an aura of chill vibes, and it seemed that whatever you talked about, you managed to make interesting. Jaehyun was debating whether he wanted to date you, or be you, until he came to the conclusion that he wanted to date you so he could learn to be like you. Although it was the beginning of what he hoped was a new relationship, Jaehyun already had so much respect for you, and as you joked around with him about whatever the two of you could think of, Jaehyun’s excitement for the the future held only increased more and more.

Past life video

That was my actual past life btw! Lemme know what y’all get 😩 also just go on the website if you get a lot of ads - bc that can fuck w ur hypnotization! It’s not scary, I promise. The dude has a super nice voice. It’s vv trippy. If you’re a skeptic - do it anyway. Worst case scenario, you get a good laugh.

40 notes · View notes

okay-j-hannah · 5 years ago

Text

Synonyms For Home

Smosh : Prompt

Damien x Reader

Word Count: 3486

Warnings: Just the most relateable ish I’ve ever written... except for having THE actual Damien Haas in my life 😭 I heckin’ wish

Request: ““sometimes home has a heartbeat” First of all THANK YOU for writing damien haas because I can never find any inserts of him :( also I chose this dialogue because I really like it and can be used in a friend to lover thing? I’d like a angsty gone fluffy one? I often run away from potential relationships and I’d like something based around that. thank u for doing what ya do <3″ - @dancingpanda137

Prompt:

31. “Sometimes, home has a heartbeat.”

Note: I completely understand running out of Damien Haas fics 😂 I have definitely read about 99.99% of the content out there! Also I totally feel your pain about running away from potential relationships... this was a lot of fun to write!

A/N: At one point you’re going to have to stop running away from every potential relationship; there’s more to life than just stressing about it

Part Two: Homeward Bound

(this gif... This Gif... THIS GIF... ThIS giF... What am I going TO DO WITH MYSELF?!)

(Y/N) was speeding down the office hallways, a satchel at her side along with multiple plastic bags on her arms and a large drink carrier in her hands. A pencil stuck awkwardly from behind her ear as she mumbled the checklist she'd made earlier that day.

Sharply turning a corner without hesitation, she made it to the meeting room and gave a quiet, but swift knock. She opened it carefully and wiped her face of concentration to replace it with a wide grin.

Ian paused his presentation of a fresh project by waving at (Y/N) and gazing excitedly at what she brought.

"Don't mind me," she whispered, the same thing she said every day when she made her deliveries.

All the Smosh Pit cast were there, including the Squad, Tommy, Monica, Matt Raub, and Garrett. They were going over ideas for Smosh Winter Games, something that hasn't happened for a few years.

But (Y/N) was more focused on getting her own job done, starting with the drinks and passing them to their corresponding owners. She did it in such a fluid motion that no one doubted their cup was exactly what they ordered.

Next, she opened the plastic bags digging into her arms and handed out sandwiches and salads, as an added treat. She normally pitched in a few extra dollars to buy a better lunch for her coworkers, and she could see the speculating eye from Matt Raub as he accepted his deluxe.

She put her best smile on and waved a hand, "Don't worry about it." And before she left, she reached into her satchel and extracted a small box of cookies, "For dessert."

And before anyone could protest the homemade treat, she ran out of the room with a few more drinks and meals to pass out.

This was such a frequent occurrence for (Y/N) and the Smosh Family. She had become kind of like the mother of Smosh, taking care of the numerous little things while still finding time to take care of the cast and crew with goodies and smiles.

That didn't mean she never got stressed.

Her step was quick again as she made her way back through the halls, waving at a few friends as she went. That checklist in her head never seemed to grow smaller:

Get Damien his coffee

Give cookie box to Smosh Games

Find Sarah for guest star progress reports

Check to see if Damien actually ate his lunch

Write paper about that Tinder for Hotdogs idea

Give Tommy a hug and see how he's doing later

Invite Shayne to the hangout Damien came up with

Text Courtney about filming in her tiny car

Find Damien a date for...

Someone crashed right into (Y/N), sending the last few cups of coffee into the air and all over her shirt. She jumped at the steaming hot liquid, pulling against the fabric to keep it from her skin.

"Oh, damn, I'm sorry (Y/N)."

She winced and peered up to see Damien's sympathetic face, "It's... It's fine. I'll - I'll just bump a few things on my list and go get changed and grab more coffee."

He immediately knelt down to pick up the remnants of the cups and carrier, "I'm guessing this one's mine? Serves me right not looking where I'm going."

He gave her a smile, his eyes crinkling up as he did so. It made her heart skip a beat.

"Don't worry about it. I'll just..." she was still holding away her sticky shirt, closing her eyes and thinking hard, "I'll figure something out."

Damien sighed, "I just ruined your whole agenda, didn't I?" He picked up her pencil and quietly slid it to behind her ear, "Please don't stress out about it."

She had to give herself a few seconds to process his last sentence before continuing, "Um... that's almost physically impossible at this point. With summer ending we've got to find a whole new season of things to do."

He listened but contorted his brow at how uncomfortable she was standing there, "You know I have one of my Smosh sweatshirts in my office. You want to change into that? Get yourself out of brewing in your own shirt."

When he laughed at his own jokes it made (Y/N) stutter so uncontrollably, "Uh... actually, that'd be really nice. Then I won't have to drive home when I run more errands."

He led the way to his desk, smirking, "More errands? Do you just intentionally want to give yourself a busy schedule?" He extracted a colorful pastel sweatshirt and handed it to her.

"Well, who's going to pick up the new Mario Party release?" she walked away to change in the nearby bathroom, "You have to film today."

It only took a minute to change, but maybe two minutes to stare in the mirror and tell herself she was wearing Damien's sweatshirt. Not to mention smell his cologne from the collar.

"And I know that if you get stressed out, I just stress out more and then there's this whole cycle of intense panic." She paused when she met him at his desk again - he was holding her satchel and a strange look was in his eye.

"You look cute."

She had to focus all her energy into not widening her eyes at his words, "I got to go, thanks for the sweatshirt! I promise I'll get you something else later today for that coffee fiasco." She was practically running out of the room by the end of her sentence.

It always took a few minutes after a talk with Damien to convince herself that he only saw her as a friend. That he cares about her because he's her friend. That the possibility of getting so close to him was absolutely terrifying.

But she had to push past it, always the one to run away from those potential relationships.

She had to hurry back on her list if she had hopes to finish everything before the big hangout that night. And by big hangout, she meant Damien, Shayne, and Courtney. (Y/N) always considered scenarios where Damien was involved a big deal.

Completing a majority of running errands and skipping her own lunch to do so, she ran over to Smosh Games to deliver cookies and catch up with Wes and Mari. Whenever she could, (Y/N) always tried to make time to talk to each of the cast and crew.

It's always nice to know you have a friend at the office.

"Guess what I brought?" she flashed a dazzling smile, opening her satchel.

Wes practically flew as he turned in his chair and wheeled towards her - thankfully his headphones were Bluetooth and not attached to the monitor.

"Suckers? Cupcakes? Oh! Please say it's..."

(Y/N) extracted her homemade box and shook it in front of him, "Chocolate chip cookies."

Mari wheeled around too, "You're going to be the sole reason he's gonna have a sugar coma later."

He practically squealed, a large childish smile on his face, "You're too good to me, (Y/N)." He quickly pulled one out and took a bite, "Oh... you are way too good to me."

She laughed, pulling Damien's empty chair from his gaming console to sit down, "Where is everyone?"

Mari shrugged her shoulders, "Probably sneaking around to plan my reception."

Wes paused in his munching and widened his eyes, "Hm? I - I thought they were..."

"I know they left you here to keep me distracted," Mari smirked, "I also know that Peter left you guys in charge of ensuring I'm a happy bride - so don't lie to me."

Shaking a few crumbs from his fingers, Wes rolled his eyes, "Fine. They're coordinating who's decorating your car."

"Which reminds me," Mari flashed her gaze back to (Y/N), who was fidgeting in her seat. "Have you found yourself a date for the wedding yet?"

Wes gasped and nodded enthusiastically, "I thought for sure he was going to ask you by now."

"I'm not asking anyone out," (Y/N) stated adamantly, "You know I'm no good with... wait - did you say...?"

"I thought you were just going to go with Damien," he paused before quickly adding, "As friends."

(Y/N) felt the heat residing in her face, panic building in her chest, "No, I was actually supposed to find Damien a date later this week. I didn't want him to go alone."

"But you are?" Mari asked, leaning across the desks, pointedly raising an eyebrow towards Wes.

"I'm not the best at the whole dating - relationship thing. So, it's best if I just stay out of it."

Wes mumbled, "With the amount of stress you handle every day at work you'd think going on a date was nothing for you."

(Y/N)'s breathing was hitching, her trying to hide her fidgeting hands at the subject, "Can we please talk about something else?"

"Is that sweatshirt new? I've never seen it before," Mari was smirking again; she knew full well whose sweatshirt it was.

It took Wes only a few more seconds to realize it as well, "Did Damien give that to you?" He had the biggest fan boy eyes (Y/N) had ever seen.

But she was consumed with her own overwhelming emotions. The thought of so many people rooting for Damien and her to get together sent her nerves to the maximum. Sure, they were really good friends, but only that.

Any other possibility would melt her insides.

"Whatcha guys doing?"

Damien came waltzing into the room, followed closely by Joven and Laser. His eyes fell immediately onto (Y/N) sitting stony in his chair - the sight made him smile, but he hesitated.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" He was always the one that stepped in before she fell into a full state of panic, unbeknownst to him that he was normally the subject of the panic.

"I... I just - I don't know."

He walked over and outstretched his arms to her, giving her a sympathetic gaze to will her up to him.

Joven snapped his fingers to grab the attention of the other SG members, crazily pointing to usher everyone out.

(Y/N) sniffed and averted her gaze, finding her legs disobeying her to a standing position. And Damien wrapped his arms around her, holding her so tightly.

She was consumed by his presence, feeling her heart drop into her stomach. Hugs from Damien weren't uncommon, but they were always nerve-wracking.

"I told you not to stress out today." He rubbed a hand up and down her back, "But I definitely ordered your favorite food for tonight just in case. And we can play whatever game you like - even the scary games."

"But Shayne hates the scary games," she mumbled, the pang in her chest resounding at his comfort.

He laughed, "Shayne can hide behind the couch."

She could feel his heartbeat against her head. It pounded until it resided into her mind. It was always that that calmed her down. It was the same feeling she got when she was safe at home after a long day.

Was his heart beating a little fast?

"Feel better?" He pulled her back slightly to get a good look at her face.

She wished his arms were still around her, "You know I always do when you're there."

There was his laugh again that sent a shiver down her spine, "You look a little red in the face." He brushed a finger against her cheek to confirm his suspicion, "You're not sick, are you?"

Lovesick?

"I gotta go. Thanks for the hug, I really needed it." She grabbed her bag and became completely oblivious to how Damien's shoulders sunk. "I'll see you later tonight."

She rounded out of the Games room, smacking the side of her head as she put a hand to her temple. There was a pounding there that she was sure was going to grow into a headache.

She closed her eyes, needing to focus:

Bring treats for the editing room

Gather viewing statistics from Spencer

Not think about Damien

Help Monica with writing Tinder for Hotdogs

Confirm spot on the SmoshCast for next week's episode

Order dress for Mari's wedding

Not think about Damien's laugh

Start notes for the Two Truths episode she was going to direct

Not think about Damien's smile

Meet with Ian about Winter Games

Not thinking about falling asleep on Damien's lap tonight

Buy more ingredients for Wes' cookies

Check that the makeup room is fully stocked

Not thinking about Damien pulling a blanket over her before he would leave

It was almost impossible to concentrate on anything else as (Y/N) entered the film studio for Smosh Pit. Shayne was immediately waving at her and raising his eyebrows in a questioning manner.

She shrugged her shoulders, pointing towards her temple and mouthing, "headache," over the sound being tested through the mics.

That pounding was still resounding in her head.

Shayne nodded and mouthed back a, “sorry,” before patting the spot next to him on the couch. She gave a short smile and walked over, taking a deep breath.

“Having a day?” he whispered, the mics still being tested above them.

She bit her bottom lip, “Just a little one.” Then she folded her arms and leaned her head against his shoulder.

He started shaking with a laugh he was trying to hide, “You really are having a day. How many times to I get to see affectionate (Y/N)?”

She pouted, lightly smacking his leg, “I just got a Damien hug, of course I’m feeling affectionate.”

“Ah, yes, the Damien hug,” he moved into a character voice, “I’ve seen many a traveler receive one of those and never return the same.”

“Shayne!” Matt Raub could be heard behind the cameras, “I wasn’t kidding when I said we were checking sound.”

Shayne waved an apology and lowered his voice more, “So, that’s two strikes for having a stressful day. One: a Damien hug, and two: snuggles.”

(Y/N) turned her head to bury her face between Shayne’s arm and the couch, “I can’t help being busy at work.”

“But we can help take a load off,” Shayne muttered leaning over and reaching for something near his feet, “Got you a little something.”

She sat straight again, surprised at the gesture, “You got me something?”

“Don’t act surprised. Just because you give people treats all the time doesn’t mean they can’t give you something.” He handed over a medium sized box that was obviously just thrown together, “It was more Damien’s idea than mine, but we went during lunch.”

“Of course it was him,” she smiled, pulling back the lid and finding a few spa day essentials, goodies, and a couple new games for her PlayStation. “How did you know I wanted these games!”

His eyes widened at seeing hers light up, “You always talk about them, of course we knew you wanted them. And we got you some weird bath bomb-lotion-spray-flower stuff.” He threw his hands around as he talked, trying to amp up the quality of the present, “Just... we want you to relax every once in a while.”

A pair of hands came down on (Y/N)’s shoulders, causing her to jump at first, “We knew that one was your favorite scent.”

It was Damien again, hovering near her head as he leaned over the couch. (Y/N) cursed her mind, thinking that she would’ve been able to get away from his perfect eyes in the Squad room.

“Um... we called Courtney to figure that out,” Shayne stated with squinted eyes but a smile nonetheless, “She also was the one who told us where to find it.”

“I like to think I know what (Y/N) likes,” Damien retorted, hands still on her shoulders. “We thought maybe you should get a gift for a change.”

She didn’t know what to say, setting the box down and pulling away from Damien. His hands left a lingering touch on her shoulders.

“That’s really kind of you guys. I – I guess I’m not used to accepting presents,” she watched the strange exchange move from Shayne to Damien. They were looking at her with puzzlement, but she continued, “I thought you had filming to do, Damien?”

He looked slightly downtrodden, “I do – here. I’m shooting a Smosh Pit Weekly.”

A sigh left her lips, but she plastered on a smile, “Oh, I must have my schedule mixed up. You know what that means – I have to go straighten it out. I’ll see you guys, thanks for the...”

“(Y/N), are you avoiding me?”

Shayne whipped his head between his two friends, disbelief hanging in his gaze. He wasn’t sure this conversation was ever going to be brought up. Therefore, he practically skidded out of the studio, rolling off the couch.

(Y/N) could feel that panic filling up her chest, the pounding in her head. The redness was hitting her face again and the oversized sweatshirt was feeling strangely restricting.

“You’re getting red again. (Y/N) what’s wrong? What are you stressing about?” Damien walked around the coffee table and stopped when she took a step away from him.

“I only ever stress out about one thing.”

He heavily sighed, “I’m gonna need you to give me a little more than that.”

As he inched closer, she felt the panic manifesting itself in shaky hands and stutters, “We-We’re friends, right?”

She thought she saw his face dip a little, “Yes? What’s this about?”

“I - I only seem to feel overwhelmed when-whenever y-you're there.”

He paused, immediate hurt on his face, “Oh, I didn’t realize... I thought... I’m sorry that I...”

“But I also never feel better until you are there,” she gazed at the ground. “It’s very conflicting.”

“(Y/N), I think it’s about time we just get a few things off our chests,” he stated, a bit of redness hitting his own cheeks this time. “I’ve wanted to ask you something for a while.”

She finally peeked at him, “I always run away when I think I’m getting too close to a guy. I don't know why, but the thought of being that close to someone really scares me. But it’s also the only thing I can think about.” She watched his face go through a range of emotions as she held her breath in anticipation.

It was his smirk that got to her first, “I’ve been wanting to ask you to be my date to Mari and Peter’s wedding, but you keep running away every time I think I can start talking to you about it.”

Her breathing literally stopped, “Your date?”

“So, you run away from me because you want to be with me?” He was taking a few more steps towards her, practically right in front of her now. But she couldn’t move.

“That sounds complicated,” she whispered, eyes flickering all around his face.

He gave her a momentary cautious gaze, “Do you want to run away now?”

She eyed the close proximity of his face, “Only because you’re stressing me out. But I know I won’t feel better unless I stay with you.”

“Then this is okay?” he was wrapping her into one of his hugs, “I don’t like that I make you scared like this.”

She let out a breath that she felt like she was holding for hours, “I’m only scared about what’s going to happen next.”

She pulled away just enough to see his face, their arms still wrapped around each other. He leaned his forehead down against hers and gazed into her eyes. She swallowed hard, finding her hands moving – one sliding down to his chest and the other to the side of his face, feeling his jawline.

She realized that the pounding in her head had stopped. It was replaced with a pounding happening against her hand.

It was Damien’s heartbeat. The thing that’s been bombarding her all day.

Flickering her eyes back into his, she found Damien giving a slight smile as he peered down towards her lips. She gave a small smile back and before she knew it Damien was leaning all the way to meet her kiss.

It was instant fireworks exploding in her chest. Those spouts of panic fueled the butterflies in her stomach. Wrapping her hand to the back of his head, she tangled her fingers into Damien’s hair.

She could feel him smile into the kiss.

And as quickly as it began, they broke apart. Though they didn’t pull away from their embrace, still touching foreheads.

“I’m not going to let you run away this time,” Damien muttered, keeping a grip on her waist.

“I think I’m here to stay.”

She felt his heartbeat again, fast and strong against her hand. The one thing that’s always been able to comfort her.

And recognition had finally settled into her mind.

Sometimes home has a heartbeat. And home was where she was going to stay.

~~~

Buy Me a Coffee?

Tag List:

@wierdlywonderful @caswinchester2000 @joenjoenshire @liamakorn

Remember to check out my tag list so you’re updated when a fic you like is posted on my blog! Tag List

#damien haas x reader #damien haas fluff #damien haas #damien haas angst #damien haas x you #damein haas smosh #dames #smosh x reader #smosh pit #smosh fandom #smosh games #smosh

508 notes · View notes

proverbsofpestilence · 6 years ago

Text

I know this coward blocked us all, but I’m still gonna publish it, BECAUSE I WAS READY TO POST IT JUST BEFORE OUR QUEEN VALENTINA BLOCKED US ALL. I knew you were waste of time, but damn. I guess that’s it for “I don’t care about this discussion and I’m back to my great amazing life”, huh?

tbh I hadn’t planned to respond in the beginning, because of this post:

(that you btw deleted after few minutes and didn’t even mention me like an unbothered warrior princess you are) if there were fucking diplomas in pseudosciense yours should had been taken away after saying that “ENFJ 6 so/sx is the type that’s more able to survive/navigate in the real world”. girl, have you seen sp blind 6? they’re rare, but they’re exist. and you’re one of them.

>I’m replying to you idiots @hitsujinko @proverbsofpestilence on a different post because that’s what you two should have done in the beginning

oh you mean, we should reply to you in different post without even mentioning you and then delete it right away? like you did? wow great, thanks for your tip.

>Hmm no, @syntheticalcomposure didn’t have to be “sceptic” of my post because it said nothing controversial, she just doesn’t fucking know how to read

no, girl. she just noticed that you’re post is kinda. basic. and then commented to straight things out. and you got all defensive and acted like she was attacking you while she was actually agreeing with you. you’re disintegrating and trying to act like you’re better than smarter than all the other people to cover up your mistake. been there, done that.

>And bitch i’m sorry but i’m not attacked at all because you don’t have any power over me, i’m literally chilling on my bed drinking a smoothie and you’re the only one who cares so much about my type but okay

oh I care! because I hoped you would actually type yourself correctly after this whole time. you know, I mentioned I followed you. it was a long time ago, but guess what! I actually liked you. past tense. don’t judge book by its cover, right?

now it’s just entertaining to make fun of you.

>And again, I have no inch of enneagram 6 on my body. Their outlook in life sickens me and it’s completely different to how I survive, if i was a 6 I wouldn’t even be alive lmao. You have absolutely no basis to type me as a 6 other than what you’re projecting into me

you have no inch of 6 in your body and yet u were mistyped as one? :0000 just like u have no inch of 9 in your body and you’re mistyped as one? gotcha.

and you keep. accusing others of projecting. like you’re doing it yourself.

“ew dont call me sweetie, we’re not there yet” okay. bitch. are we there yet? :))

>Also what community??? What the fuck is a community and especially online??? Shut up your soc”

do you think soc blinds are dumb? no, seriously. another prove you don’t understand theory at all. soc blind have poor understanding of social bonds and constructs or just simply don’t even acknowlegde them in the first place. they know what fucking community is. you know. the way a lot of soc blind people use to describe “””typology fandom”””.

also wow! I’m soc. yeah I have fucking soc in my stacking u fucking moron. what are u even trying to prove.

> Which by the way was: you can’t type someone’s enneagram based on outwardly behaviors alone but instead you have to think of the reasons why they do them

don’t worry, you’re not a special snowflake. if INFP 4 so/sp can be typed by one single post alone, you can be too.

>Also what community??? Again with your SOC bullshit???? Who is defending me??? Of what????? The way you all think is so freaking weird

are you serious. like. I know you think I’m dumb. but have some fucking respect for soc blinds. they’re not that fucking stupid as you try to portray them.

>Just because I don’t sound like those stupid infjs here using difficult words and concepts because they’re so smart uwu , doesn’t mean I’m not one

what. who said that. who fucking said that.

>Check how @mowoths expresses her thoughts vs the way I express mine. She’s an enfj, i’m not and you can clearly see how different we both are

she’s not 6. also she’s not dumb. important factor, ya know.

>You: valentina is a fe-dom Also you: valentina is not capable of having the most basic skills of a real fe-dom

yay! and I actually believed you know your shit since you were into it for so long.

>Like… Make a decision????

like u did with your typing that u kept constantly changing back?

>What???? The reason behind this is not inferior Ti. It’s simply because English is not my first language and I don’t know how to express myself correctly in a way that makes sense, especially not to natives or more advanced speakers. If all of you spoke Spanish, i promise I wouldn’t sound “disconnected from everything”. So stop being a bitch just because you understand this language better than I do

babie. sweetie. honey. bitch.

1) I’m not native English speaker neither,

2) you speak English just fine,

3) that’s not a fucking excuse because your English. is just fucking fine. probably better than mine.

>But have you seen my actual aes instead of the shit I reblog? Let’s be realistic: They suck. If you compare them to the aes of the actual high se users

>there are actual parameters that show wether someone’s a high se user or not and i don’t have any of those, not even one

umm what. I said your aes is tert Se. not high Se good.

wait, who was accused who of not being capable of reading again?

>I do have the presence of a gut core but you can’t fucking know that because you have never seen me in real life. And yes, i know people can see through you online but NOT in the way you’re doing it. This is not it. I do have everything a 9 core has but that could only be seen if you actually knew me

oh you have such poor self awareness but you know what type of presence you give off? also. it’s. a fucking. vibe. I don’t need to see you to feel your presence. every single gut core has it. every single one of them. I can fucking talk to person online and still figure out that they have gut core energy. sad you apparently can’t.

>And so-dom??? What the actual fuck???? I am EVERYTHING except that. I have never exhibited any behavior of that ???? I’m a so-blind, the end.

yeah sure. I totally believe you. soc blinds don’t know what community is. don’t realize when someone’s defending them even when they mention them in their own post to support their stand. that’s not like you also automatically assumed I’m friends with synthie just because I agree with her on this topic. like you know. soc would do.

>Okay, okay… I would maybe believe you if you told me I’m a SX/SO because that would make some sense and i typed as that before. Except that i don’t have ANY trait of a sp-blind. Then nope, i’m still a so-blind

okay, so sx/so would make sense because you typed as one before? then why the fuck ENFJ and 6 are completely out of options? you were mistyped as them too. also I love that you keep saying you cannot be this type because either just no or other factors. but don’t worry. most people are able to type people by, you know, observing their behaviour and talking to them. which I just did.

>Also, i’m the most SX-dom to ever exist???? If we could have only one IV, i would simply be SX

nah, you’re not. you have sx, it’s true, but it’s not dom.

>What a stupid argument adjfkrk. I haven’t ended this conversation because a) I’m right and b) who gives a single fuck about an internet discussion????? Do you know all of this literally doesn’t matter in real life????? Do you know i’ll just post this and go back to my amazing life as if it didn’t happen????

wow, so because it doesn’t matter you keep responding? addition: that’s why you blocked as all? also “amazing life”??? can you turn off your fucking 3 fix soc for one goddamn second.

no one taught you that the harder you try to appear as something you’re not, the worse it gets?

>In real life, i’m conflict avoidant and i don’t have to prove that to you

THIS IS REAL LIFE. YOU’RE TALKING TO A REAL PERSON. I’M TALKING TO YOU. A REAL PERSON. YOU FUCKING TYPED THIS ON YOUR KEYBOARD OR ON YOUR PHONE. WHATEVER. YOU SPEND YOUR APPARENTLY SUPER AMAZING IRL TIME TO INTERACT WITH ME IN THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD INTERACT WITH ACTUAL PEOPLE. seeing you in real life would change NOTHING, except I’d be able to see your body language. which honestly doesn’t matter when you’re so obvious to type.

9 would end this conversation a long time ago. An actual INFJ 9 told you that.

>finally the fact that I don’t understand english well enough (again, stop being so fucking condescending about this)

??????SDFfkhkfhjjkKDFKFGFJjkg?YUHRTO7O78??????????????????SDFKDFKDH??? WHERE BITCH. WHERE. you’re projecting. I didn’t say anything about your english skills in my post. nothing. but you’re insecure about it and you’re projecting your fear onto me, thinking I was mocking you for it. why can’t you see the shit you accuse others of doing?

>Also I love that you genuily think I’m an ENFJ 639 SO/SX… As if that wouldn’t be the type most known for their amazing social skills

once again. you don’t know theory. you don’t know what soc blidness actually looks like. you don’t know what Fe is like. you don’t know what any enneagram type is like.

also, sp-blind 6s are rare, but they exists. mostly nothing but a giant mess.

>Literally no one could ever get close to my level of optimism and hope in other people, the universe and life in general

>For 6s, when something goes wrong they literally think their whole life is over. While instead i ignore whatever is going wrong and get back up without thinking

psst. have u ever heard of 6w7? because I just found out your wing!

>I also trust people a lot. Of course I’m not a naive bitch who lets everyone in because I have SP. But what I mean is i don’t distrust everyone and think that they’re all against me and are going to betray me, as 6s usually do. I don’t test people to prove if i should trust them or not. All 6s do that and I think it’s pathetic

you don’t understand what 6s are.

also. everyone thinks 6s are pathethic. including 6s themselves.

>Finally, If I don’t trust myself it’s because of my mental illnesses and countless childhood trauma. Literally every type can distrust themselves. But fuck you for making me bring that up

no one fucking made you bring it up. fucking. no one. stop being so goddamn defensive. stop acting like a victim. stop projecting. stop trying so hard to act like someone you’re not. you could, you know, FUCKING YEET OUT OF THIS DISCUSSION LIKE A PROPER 9 WOULD DO

>If i ever use projection as a defense mechanism, it’s only due to my mental illnesses and what i have always been taught. This was literally the point of my post, every single type can be an emotional mess: as proven by me and my family

“ever”. ha. funny joke.

you realize just because your behaviour can be justified by external something, it doesn’t mean you can’t be a 6? like. for example, you can be a shut in because of your social phobia AND be a 5. one doesn’t exclude each other.

or like fucking me, be a 6 and have clinical anxiety that is actually not fucking related to your type.

>And i’m not acting defensive and attacked??? I’m literally chilling here… and unlike you, studying for my future and doing something productive with my life :)

wow I’m so unbothered wow :) and chill :) like a conflict avoidant type I am :) like the person that keeps projecting shit :) that doesn’t know when to give up :) that keeps accusing people of attacking her :) that calls people bitches and then delete post because they’re a coward :) that blocks people because she can’t handle admitting she was wrong :) that feels a need to consantly repeat how unbothered she is because god she’s so unbothered :)

>No shit sherlock, there you go again schooling me about something I already know

wow you know this? weird. because u keep proving you don’t know basic stuff.

oh and louder for people in the back.

STOP BEING SO GODDAMN DEFENSIVE. STOP ACTING LIKE A VICTIM. STOP PROJECTING. STOP TRYING SO HARD TO ACT LIKE SOMEONE YOU’RE NOT. AND FOR SAKE OF THIS FUCKING WORLD TURN OFF YOUR 3 FIX SOC BECAUSE YOU’RE LITERALLY UNBEARABLE TO LISTEN TO.

#bye

9 notes · View notes

nautilusopus · 6 years ago

Note

sorry this is a lot but I enjoy your opinions. G, P, U, W, X, Z

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Nah. I’m aggressively boring and uninvested in general in most romances so I usually just go with whatever’s canon and call it a day.

The closest thing I got to ever shipping in the past was being mildly surprised that people saw Link and Zelda as an item in Twilight Princess because they don’t really talk much in that game (they have maybe two conversations? Three if we count any presumed dialogue they might’ve had during the last boss battle when they’re on a horse together). I wouldn’t say I’m actually invested in it one way or another though. Link didn’t really have much of a personality until Wind Waker came along.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

FFXV AU where Noctis asks literally any questions at all about anything and interacts with the plot as an active participant in it instead of a copypasted emotional beat from FFX and thus doesn’t die at the end due to lazy writer caveat. (spoilers i guess)

I am so so so so tempted to write this and the urge has been growing stronger over the last few weeks. I imagine fans of XV wouldn’t be too thrilled I’m writing fanfic specifically because I hate everything about XV, but y’all keep circulating posts about how writing fanfic to fix canon is totally valid!!! so I fully expect everyone to walk the walk after talking the talk.

On another note, AU where Cloud never actually makes it to Midgar after Zack gets filled with lead, thus never meeting Tifa at and least screwing his head on semi-straight, and just wanders around in the wilderness as a weird amnesiac murderhobo in a perpetual fugue state. Hijinks ensue I guess.

Shit, I should write that.

And now I have 48 fics queued. Look at what you’ve done. Are you proud of yourself?

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

alright let’s get the obvious one out of the way

Cloud because I used to fucking despise him and over time he really grew on me after I was exposed to his genuinely moving character arc and narrative that actively trampled every expectation I had about what it would be. Dumb asshole that unabashedly loves his friends, which is something that you rarely if ever see in other protagonists of his mould which is why it infurates me as much as it does when people (Square or the fanbase, it’s annoying either way) try to downplay it. That was one of the things that made him unique and compelling in the first place and you’re actively discarding it? Fuck you.

It’s genuinely refreshing to see someone try as hard as they can and fail catastrophically in every possible respect, and then that’s just the result and he has to come terms with that pain as something shaping who he was instead of just learning a lesson and then getting over it. There are a lot of matter-of-fact moments like that with regards to loss and pain in VII but Cloud’s arc actually took one of said moments and made it extremely cathartic.

I have a lot of fukken feelings about Cloud, man. That character analysis essay is officially four years old and the ETA on it is “whenever I guess”.

Azula from ATLA. I mean, I adore basically everyone in that series so I don’t even know which one I’d call my favourite, but I do think I ought to highlight Azula since a lot of who she is kinda gets overlooked. She’s like a family-friendly Eva character.

It’s genuinely fascinating to watch her break down, and on a second rewatch you can sort of tell which beats fell into place where. Ironically, she considers Zuko the “favoured child”, and part of the reasons she utterly despises/loves/despises him as much as she does is because she tries to earn his approval in her own weird, sociopathic way. Then, when he inevitably bails, he not only rejects her, he goes and shacks up with even more people that consciously chose to love him, and for all her talent, after all her hard work, all she has is Ozai, who’s probably never loved anything in his life. The unfairness of it all.

The breakdown she has at the end isn’t even anything new, really. It’s just the first time other people get to see it.

Speaking of Eva, Shinji. DISCLAIMER: YES SHINJI MASTURBATED TO COMPLETION OVER ASUKA’S COMATOSE BODY IN A BLATANT DISPLAY OF NOT ONLY HIS GENERAL DISLIKE AND FEAR OF WOMEN BUT IN AN EXPRESSION OF HIS REFUSAL TO PROJECT AFFECTION ONTO PEOPLE BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN REJECT HIM, PREFERRING TO SEE ASUKA AS A PERSON-SHAPED OBJECT INSTEAD. THERE I HAVE ACKNOWLEDGED THE PROBLEMATIQUE ™ BIT NOW. CAN I LIKE THIS CHARACTER YET?

Shinji and Cloud have a lot of the same character arc, as I’ve mentioned probably more than a few times because I repeat myself a lot. Where Cloud is a more optimistic take on defining oneself on one’s own terms and as a result accepting that they can be someone worthy of love, Shinji’s side of that concept is waaaaaaaaaaay more cynical, in that Shinji kind of… doesn’t learn to do that in the end. Refuses to, in fact, to the point where it gets everyone killed. Also Kaworu is Zack if Zack actually had character development and if C//la/ck was actually canon. Where Cloud overcomes his fear of rejection by learning he is deserving of existence on his own merits, otherwise why would he have people that care about him in the first place, Shinji is crippled by it and spends most of the series screaming at anything that remotely resembles responsibility. For a guy that repeatedly tells himself “I mustn’t run away” his reaction to everything is almost exclusively to run away.

Now, I’m not necessarily implying that if things had gone worse, Cloud might have masturbated to completion over Tifa’s comatose body, but like… I’m just saying.

(Though Aeris and Tifa were admittedly a lot more stable than poor Asuka or Rei ever were, as low of a bar as that may be.)

In case it wasn’t obvious, I clearly have a Type. And that type is a maladjusted child soldier screaming VALIDATE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE from the top of the lightpole they climbed up to avoid their feelings, and they all deserve a good hug and a firm shove down a flight of stairs or two, in either order.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Love triangles. If I wanted to see a bunch of assholes do a bunch of petty bickering fueled by hormones and poor communication and pitting two people against one another for extremely asinine reasons, I’d lurk outside a high school.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Apart from the aforementioned Type ™ I have, people getting overwhelmed by gestures of basic human decency and the implications of that.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

God they did poor Luna so dirty. You could have replaced her with another fucking crystal or something and it would affect the plot about as much. Man, didn’t the selling point for FF used to be its rich, inventive storytelling?

Come the fuck on, Square, you had female characters figured out in fucking 1992. This isn’t hard.

#asks #neon genesis evangelion #forfdorfsorf #avatar #goddddd i need to write a vii eva crossover already #the number i does not count it is a crossover only in spirit #tofuthebold

8 notes · View notes

hyperfixationtimego · 2 years ago

Note

Ah saw the terf thing tweet finally. Yeah as a trans Jewish person I can totally see that tweet supporting transphobia on Mindy's case. If not the transphobia then it looks like she is supporting the racism and antisemitism, which she does have a history for. In context of JK's post, I don't know how else to interpret it other than she's being snarky about losing the "sensitive sjws", and why would you like something like that? I doubt at this time Mindy was simply unaware and if she was. And if she was that tells me she isn't that connected with us. Also not all of us are the same. You choosing one Jewish person to represent all of us is not a look. You deciding that you speak for trans people here, also is not a look. Context matters and I don't know why you say this by not including other voices and context. Like what other context can you get by a show that has their character make a "joke" of nazis killing their Jewish friend?

yeah see this is why I hate discussing serious shit on here. this is an absolute wild misinterpretation of what I presented, my dude.

You not having a critical understanding of what it means to consider another person’s perspective, regardless of whether or not you agree with it, is not my problem, my guy. You “not knowing” how to interpret the tweet incident as anything other than a premeditated statement of transphobia is kinda just……telling me you’ve never seen a well-meaning cis person accidentally use incorrect terminology, or a cishet ally not understanding why a certain term, trope, or stereotype might be offensive or harmful to queer people. Like my dude, have you ever loved or cared about a cis person irl. They don’t share our experiences. They don’t share our history or our knowledge, because a lot of them have never had to consider it - that still doesn’t make them bad.

and lol you obviously didn’t even bother to read what I posted, either, cause u didn’t acknowledge her support of Josie Totah but like……whatever lmao

and. sighs. I genuinely do not think Kaling’s thought process with liking that tweet had to do with complaining about the “sensitive sjws” because that. literally does not make any sense whatsoever. if anything, I propose that she was more likely comparing the “lost audience” in that tweet to all the racist assholes who immediately shit on everything about the show from the concept, to the animation, to the character designs from the exact MOMENT it was confirmed the show would be reimagining the characters as POC.

perhaps I am insane, but I do not think it’s a bad thing for her, as an Indian woman, to indulge herself by projecting her own experiences onto a character she loves & to give that same opportunity to other people working on the show. like it is very strange to me that y’all are calling this “pandering” and “forced diversity,”…. they’re literally just having fun I think lol

And lmaooooo ur second point of “choosing one Jewish person to represent all [Jewish people]” LIKE MY GUY THAT IS NOT WHAT I DID AKSHDJDBFB I provided a LITERAL SCHOLAR’S OPINION on the controversy & supposed antisemitism in Never Have I Ever SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT DR. SKINAZI DOES FOR A LIVING. SHE IS AN ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF LITERATURE AND CULTURE, AND SHE FOCUSES A LOT ON JEWISH REPRESENTATION IN MEDIA BECAUSE SHE HERSELF IS JEWISH 😭

I would love to see another scholar’s argument on the issue! If happen to find any other media analysis-focused Jewish professors who’ve discussed the topic, I’d love to check it out and compare the two! /gen

But until then, I am going to (tentatively, as I still have not had a chance to watch the show for myself) trust Dr. Skinazi on this topic because it is quite literally her field of work!!!! You may be Jewish, anon, but you are still just some rando in my inbox demanding me to listen to you without proper cause - I’m not going to simply ignore the literal scholar’s opinion on this one for you, my guy, that’s not how this works 😭

#ask box #anonymous #long post #negative

0 notes

mysuckyliferants · 3 years ago

Text

I went to the psychiatrist about this and he gives me his two precious minutes and says “You look fine I don’t think you need any medication.”

First post after a while. The other day, this girl I know texted me. She, was a classmate (was as in I graduated last month), asking me to meet up “without telling anyone please”. Having been ignored by most people at my school (including her), been left out of group hang outs and conveniently forgotten unless something was needed of me, I had had enough of this school and the people in it who seemed the like nicest lot but could not manage to hold up any conversation that was not totally superficial. I had kept things on a conversational basis with most of my “friends” at school without expecting any form of real friendship from any of them, trying to get busy on my own, figuring out my passions, and being quite satisfied in general, when I get a text from this girl with the nicest of words — a “heyyy” with the triple “y” and “how are youuuuu”, “this is [insert girl name]”, “i got your number from []” — which were honestly like a blast from the past. For a moment I thought, “Someone cares, and didn’t forget me in the five weeks that have passed since school ended?” Fast forwarding to when she asked me to meet up, I replied with a “is there anything specific, or just in general?” to confirm my inner insecurity shouting at me with “she probably doesn’t care” and my inner angel whispering, “maybe she just wants to hang out with you and tell you that you were actually a really a really good friend and she would like your advice about something” and obviously I chose to listen to the whisper because that’s what keeps us going isn’t it?

Her: oh about something specific.

Me: oh what is-

Her: how long does it take to make a website?

How tf am I supposed to react to that? I mean, you don’t contact someone for months, conveniently forget about them during invitations to group hang outs and you start the conversation with a “hey how are u”, wait for the other person to reply, get invested and then reveal that all along it wasn’t them you cared about but this distant skill they probably mentioned they had? I mean if that’s all you want from them why not just LEAD WITH THAT??

These days I’m convinced that people only talk to me when they need something from me. And I wonder if that’s just me. May be that’s true for most people today. Have we become that fucking commercial that the only reason we have any human contact is because we want something material from them? It’s bullshit. I fee myself being ignored, and lied to, and maybe I’m just a huge ass attention seeker but hanging out with other people these days has just been me stressing out about whether they even really care about me or what I’m saying.

It’s not that there aren’t people who listen. Any time I meet someone new they are the nicest, but the moment I start getting invested in the possibility of a real friendship more that just acquaintanceship, I get hugely disappointed. That really makes me wonder, am I that boring of a person? And if I am, how do I know? How do I fix it? Is there anyone who can tell me that? Or is all this anxiety just in my head? Maybe everyone really likes me but my my mind just projects all my insecurities onto other people? Or are all the people I meet douchebags?

If I tell my parents or my bestest friend this, they are just gonna say “Stop worrying about these things. That’s not true. Everything is gonna be fine.” I went to the psychiatrist about this and he gives me his two precious minutes and says “You look fine I don’t think you need any medication.” But what if everything is not going to be fine? What if everything is not fine? What do I do then?

I was seeing a counsellor but I can’t see her now because of technical reasons and that is really fucking unfortunate. The next time I can see a counsellor (a different one) is in September. So I guess I just wait till then.

I don’t know, so that’s what’s been on my mind lately. I don’t know if anyone reads this but yeah, if you have any comments.

July, 23 ‘22

0 notes

tayegi · 7 years ago

Note

i feel like jk's ex gaslighted him and that's why he's so afraid of relationships - when he was in this original relationship i think she messed up his sense of reality so much that he doesn't want to give someone else the opportunity to manipulate him like that again. while i don't think she and oc are similar i think the jk's feeling the same stuff with oc rn as he did at the beginning of his relationship with his ex and that's why he was a total douche canoe when oc tried to confess (1/?)

Anonymous said:tbh jk is making me v mad, even though he was explicit from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship, because it seems like he's passing on his gaslighting trauma to oc now (if my theory is correct that his ex gaslighted him) with his conflicting actions. i think jk made his own set of new rules following that break up and the fact that oc is bringing those feelings back to him, effectively breaking his rules, resulted in him being such a douche canoe (2/?)

Anonymous said:unlike oc now, i think jk hasn't gotten the chance to confront his ex yet about the abusive aspect of their relationship so he projects his anger and hurt feelings onto other people that would want to date him. like his rxn towards oc was cruel but i think that cruelty stems from his desire to do that to his ex, to make her feel as small/powerless/defeated as he felt as a result of her gaslighting. idk just my thoughts, i hope this theory-crafting wasn't annoying for you Lu (3/3)

Anonymous said:i mean the last line of new rules is you’re getting over him so im gonna be optimistic ab

Anonymous said:hi thank u for writing us that quality smut. it seems to me that jk is in it for sex and companionship. but i do wonder why jk was so jealous of hobi and reader? im sorry if you’ve alr answered that before but bc y/n wants a romantic connection, i wonder who she’ll get it from if she reconciles with jk not ever being able to meet her romantic needs

Anonymous said:i think i'm gonna reread new rules again to get more perspective on this chapter's events; i totally understand what you're saying about JK, his fuckboi ways and the dismissal of platonic feelings, but my mind is used to that shift to romantic feelings in these kinds of stories so i wanna go back and analyze. your stories always get me so worked up :,( i sent asks last night that were probably annoying for you to read (if tumblr didn't eat them) so i'm going back IOT check myself for the future

Anonymous said:Did no one else pick up on jungkook being apparently good at skating on his date with hyejin? Whilst he was terrible at it with the OC...? That was the warning sign for me...

Anonymous said:Something definitely happened in Jungkook’s past for him to have that perspective on relationships. Loved the new chapter of NR, I want you to know that you’re an absolutely amazing writer💛

vickyyy97 said:Wow! The chapter had me on the edge of my seat! My heart was beating so fast! I really want to know the story between him and his ex girlfriend. What happened that made him not go into relationships? Why did he confess if he told her his views on relationships? So many questions! I think Jungkook is scared to go into relationships. Maybe they're not ready. Maybe they need to give their feelings more time. So excited for the time skip! Your writing is absolutely amazing! Take your time please! ❤

Anonymous said:You know the moment when she overheard that they went to skate on a date. I thought that maybe it not him but hyejin took him there? Or is it really him? Is it some kind of his plan? He doesn't want her to catch feeling for him? He is afraid that he hurts her? I'm being ridiculous, right?Then why does he need her to admit that she likes him as well?Oh, he wants her to like him as a good fuxk and a friend.Looking forward to the next chapter (no pressure.just saying.I'll wait as long as I have to)

Anonymous said:✨1// Hello! Silent follower here, hope youre doing well ☺️Just read the new nr update; i loved it and just wanted to share my thoughts hehe. I think of myself as a dense reader (not very good at analysing text 😥) so I’m not sure my interpretation is correct and i apologise if its not! Ahh where do i even begin? Overall i find your portrayal of hook up culture so skillful and accurate.

Anonymous said:✨2// I love the recurring portrayal of the ironic intricacies of hook up culture--the very conflicts and uncertainties people want to avoid when they engage in fwb. I also think your approach to this story and its characters is so raw and refreshing; its so smart the way you integrate some of jungkooks actions so that his thoughts and place in him and oc's relationship are blurred for the readers/oc! The confusion in a lot of your anons i think is a sign of how well youve done it 😅

Anonymous said:✨3// In terms of the whole jungkook-relationship-thing from this update.. jungkook's past relationship clearly affected his view on relationships/what they should be. Maybe he was led to believe that sexual activity should be enjoyed in platonic circumstances? maybe he believes that platonic relationships are stronger than romantic? Or maybe he simply only has platonic feelings for OC-

Anonymous said:✨4// -but is also really expressive/affectionate to his friends, causing her to see his actions as small confessions and eventually developing feelings herself? There r so many different possibilities i can think of but we'll never know until his past is revealed! I’m curious to see what happened. I could keep going abt the things I’m curious abt/love abt this fic & ur writing but this is getting so long kdsndj tysm for ur updates despite being so busy💕💕we rly appreciate all the work u put in!

Anonymous said:New rules is such a wonderful story& I definitely go back to reread each chapter and always end up finding something that makes me love this story more. Thank you for creating something amazing despite being so busy with real life. Also, with the ending of this update,is Jungkook's past relationship with his highschool girlfriend, maybe one of the reasons why he has these views on relationships, the way he does? Almost like a turning point for him, in some ways, to him being who he is now?

Anonymous said:Wasn’t expecting that ending for Chap 9 but I was still awed! That ending makes me want to reread all the chaps leading to the latest because I am guilty of reading them in rose colored glasses. This really makes me think on the amt of romantic undertones I perceived with JK and how false they were. I’m excited where NR is heading because this was unexpected yet in character with how you set the mc and JK from the beginning.

Here are more lovely reactions, theories, and thoughtful questions. I LOVE NEW RULES BOOKCLUB SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU MY LOVELIES

#new rules #anon

8 notes · View notes

bunnybubkook · 7 years ago

Text

The Scent of Cinnamon and Apple Pie

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3348

A/N: I know this is short, and not all that amazing. But, if I am totally honest I’m kinda proud of myself just for finishing this. It is my first time finishing and posting a scenario-y thing, so I hope you enjoy it. A million thanks to @anon-luv, as well as many of my other friends, for telling me this is worth finishing. Luv Y’all.

Jeon Jungkook. I hardly know the boy, yet I already know his scent, the sound of his soul, and the colors that stain the letters of his name.

Jeon Jungkook. He is the warm scent of cinnamon tea and apple pie. He is the melodic hum of a cello in an empty room, and he is the comforting glow of burgundy and deep orange.

It’s odd to think of someone in such a way. Especially when it is someone you’ve never spoken to. Though to my defense the senses connotate more to his name than his being.

I do this with almost everyone’s name. It is an involuntary action of my imagination and as “everyday” as brushing my teeth or putting on my shoes before I leave the house. However, Jungkook’s name is different than the others. It stands out. It gets its tune stuck in my head until I’m humming it all throughout work, and I can almost swear that the cafe’s walls turn burgundy when he walks in, the smell of cinnamon blowing in with the cold.

Jungkook is a regular at the café. He comes in almost everyday –earbuds in and backpack hanging off his shoulder – and orders a large mocha with an extra pump of chocolate and whipped cream. It’s the days he comes in that I almost wish I had decided to take the more sociable job of cashier or waitress, but working in the back fixing baked goods has always suited me much better.

Ari is usually working the counter on the days I’m here. She spends half her time working and the other half fawning over a round cheeked regular of ours. I don’t know his name but he practically screams yellow. And then there’s Jimin.

“Hey Y/N, can I get a vanilla cupcake for Jungkook?” Jimin reaches over and taps the counter in front of me, an annoying habit he seems to have. “And add a little extra frosting, please!”

“Yeah sure, just let me ice it real quick.”

Oh yeah. Did I mention he’s friends with Jungkook?

I finish the swirl of icing, plus an extra little dollop, before placing the cupcake on a plate and handing it off to Jimin. He’ll probably sit and chat with Jungkook for a while. He always does.

Jimin’s name is light blue. It has a scent that is a mixture of warm sand and jasmine flowers, and it echoes the sound of crashing waves. He’s a sweet guy and infectiously optimistic. I talk to Jimin the most out of my co-workers. Not because he’s friends with Jungkook, but rather because Jimin has a very persistent when it comes to being friends. The two of us usually end up closing up together.

He’ll always put on music on those nights and sing and dance along to the songs while he cleans tables. I usually laugh at his playfulness and inaudibly sing along while I clean up behind the counter, or at least until he tries to get me to join him in his ‘performance.’ I never do, choosing to laugh it off and continue cleaning up instead. After that the singing is often traded for light chatter instead. Though it is mostly Jimin talking about him and his friends’ escapades. That’s how I have come to know Jungkook. It’s the only way I know Jungkook.

Jimin called in sick today, so naturally I was surprised to see Jungkook walking through the café doors – earbuds, backpack, and all. I’ve only ever seen the boy walking in during Jimin’s shifts, so when the cafe burst into burgundy I froze. I hear him order his usual drink before I snap out of my daze and pull out the tray of chocolate croissants from the oven. I transfer them onto a cold tray and bring them out to the display case out front.

“Are those fresh?”

Huh?

I raise my gaze from the display case to the explosion of senses that is Jeon Jungkook. I can feel my cheeks begin to tingle, though I hope not enough for an apparent blush. I stand up straight and smooth out my apron before responding.

“Ummm, yeah they are. Chocolate croissants, fresh out of the oven. W-would you like one?” I chew on the inside of my cheek a bit as I wait for a reply. He glances down toward the pastries for a moment before returning his attention to me.

“No, not today, I don’t think.”

“O-okay then. I hope you enjoy your coffee, and good luck with your studies.” I give him the most Jimin-esq smile I can muster before turning to return to the kitchen.

“How do you know I come here to study?” I freeze mid step. slowly turning back around, a shy half smile on my lips.

“You have a backpack on your shoulder,” I nod towards the bag casually slung behind him, “plus what kind of employee would I be if I didn’t recognize our regulars?.” He seems to think about my answer before nodding.

“I’m Jungkook.”

“I know.” My eyes widen at my automatic response as the tingling of my cheeks intensifies. “I-I mean, it’s just, Jimin, he talks about you a lot… a-and….” My voice fades out more and more as my sentence goes on. I shrink into myself and fiddle with the strings of my apron. My gaze immediately super glues to the floor, only snapping my gaze back up for a second. A second where I’m lucky enough to the boy sporting the truest of smiles.

“I’m not surprised. Jimin is quite chatty. He never stops talking.” The smile falls from his lips a tad, but it remains in his eyes. “You’re Y/N right? Jimin’s mentioned you a few times.” I simply nod at his question, too surprised to give a real answer. He knows me…..

“Well, I better get back to work. It was nice meeting you.” I give a tiny wave before slinking back into the kitchen. Once I’m safely hidden I rest my hands on the counter to support my weight and try to compose myself before getting back to work.

Jimin has been sick for a week now. Apparently, he has the flu. Jungkook has still been coming to the café everyday though. I’ve gotten into the habit of sending him a small wave from my spot in the kitchen each day. He’s gotten into the habit of waving back.

However, today is a bit different. Today he just grabbed his coffee and went straight for his usual spot. He’s been sitting there for a couple hours now, eyes grazing the same notebook and brows furrowed. I see him rest his forehead against the table before shying back into the kitchen and finishing icing a cake. I place a slice onto a plate before leaving the kitchen and making my way out from behind the counter. I catch a confused stare from Ari, but I ignore her silent inquiry. Instead I weave through the scattered tables, stopping next to the one in the far corner that always gets the most sunlight.

I lightly place the plate on the table, next to Jungkook’s notebook. He lifts his head abruptly at the soft clink of ceramic.

“What’s this?” He glances towards the plate and then up to me with furrowed brows.

“Um. It’s an apple spice cake. I just iced it.” My hands inch toward the bow at the front of my apron, my fingers twiddling the tails of it.

“I didn’t order this…”

“Well, no, but you seemed like you could use it. Something sweet always helps me with my studies.” His lips curl into a slight smile before he’s pulling the plate onto his notebook and taking a bite of the cake. He closes his eyes and lets out a soft moan as the taste hits his tongue. I notice how his shoulders slump, the tension of stress leaving them. He looks back up at me with a smile that is, dare I say, brighter than Jimin’s and a hundred times more lovely.

“This is magic!” Jungkook looks up at me with his eyes bulging as he shoves another forkful of cake into his mouth. I laugh a bit..

“It’s not magic, just a recipe.”

“Well, then you must be magic because I could never make something like this, even with a recipe.” A blush burns my cheeks.

“Fair enough, but I think you have some magic yourself. I can’t even understand what you’re studying.” I lean over a bit to view his notebook. I had noticed earlier that it was a music notebook, notes haphazardly scribbled across the pages.

He reaches a hand up to the back of his neck, scratching it lightly.

“Oh, that…. Yeah coming up with lyrics is turning out to be harder than I thought.” I flip my gaze from his notebook to him.

“Lyrics? I love lyrics.” Only after my small outburst do I notice the cinnamon breath fluttering across my face

Too close!

I immediately straighten up and try to will away my forming blush.

“U-umm. What I mean is, well, you see… I’m an English major, creative writing, and I do mostly poetry, and lyrics are kinda like poetry just with music with music, so naturally-”

“Will you help me?” My eyes widen.

“What?”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. I’ve just been having a lot of trouble with the lyrics for this song, and if you’re good at poetry you might be able to help.”

“Umm, well.” The alarm on my watch goes off, signalling the end of my shift. I glance down to my wrist and then back to the boy. A shy smile dawns on my lips.

“Sure… I’d love to.”

Jimin is back, and he’s been way more excited than usual. I think he said it has something to do with the song Jungkook is writing. Apparently Jimin is a music major too, and the two of them work on projects together a lot. I learned this in the second lyric writing session I had with Jungkook. He said that he usually has Jimin sing most of his songs.

The bell of the door chimes as cinnamon floods my senses. I can faintly hear Jimin greeting Jungkook and Jungkook ordering his usual coffee before the cellos ring louder in my ears.

“Hey Y/N!” I jump a bit at the sound of my name being called before peering out of the kitchen to meet Jungkook’s gaze. “Can I get a slice of that magical spice cake of yours?” he asks.

I take a breath to compose myself before fully exiting the kitchen and joining the two boys by the register.

“We actually don’t have any today.” I bend down to peer into the case a bit. “But we have an apple pie if you’re craving something similar.” I look back up to Jungkook.

“Did you make it?” I straighten up a bit/

“Well, ummm, no. The owner of the cafe bakes all of the pies. They’re her specialty” I can feel my composure start to shake.

“What about the cupcakes?” My brows furrow a bit.

Why is he so curious?

“Uh….yeah. I bake pretty much all of the cake related things…”

“I’ll have a vanilla cupcake then, with extra frosting please.” I give him a small nod.

“Yeah sure.” I pull a cupcake from the case and head to the back to place an extra dollop of buttercream on top. After placing the cupcake on a plate I walk out to see Jungkook already seated at his usual spot and Jimin working on his coffee. I place the plate down on the counter next to Jimin.

“Hey Jimin, can you bring this over to Jungkook when you’re done?” I ask. He mumbles a “yeah sure” as he focuses on making the mocha with extra chocolate and whipped cream. I turn and begin to make my way back into the kitchen, but I freeze my gate when I hear Jimin speak.

“Hey Y/N, what was that back there?” I cautiously turn around to face him, nibbling the inside of my lip as I do so.

“What was what?”

“That, just now. You and Jungkook. You usually avoid him like the plague and now you two are conversing about cake.” A blush roars onto my cheeks.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Y/N, I know you have a crush on him.” My eyes snap open a little wider.

“Wha- I do not!”

“Oh yes you do. You blush whenever I even mention his name. In fact you’re blushing now” I cast my gaze to the ground and wring the hem of my apron.

“Perhaps I like him a little. I’m sorry.”

“Why the hell are you apologizing? I think it’s great that you like someone, even if he is my best friend.” He adds some whipped cream onto the mocha and grabs the cupcake. “By the way, my break is in five minutes, and I am spending every second of it with you telling me what happened between you two while I was gone.”

He walks off and leaves me standing there.

Shit. He knows.

Jimin comes back from Jungkook’s table, much faster than usual, and joins me in the kitchen. He spends his entire fifteen minute break leaning against the kitchen counter and prying every detail of Jungkook and my’s minimal interaction.

Despite those seemingly endless fifteen minutes the rest of the day goes by swimmingly, and before I know it it’s closing time. The only two people left in the cafe are the yellow boy, who is currently ushering Ari out of the cafe - I guess one of them finally made a move after months of heart eye emoji-ing - and Jungkook.

Now that almost everyone is gone I grab a cloth and cleaning spray before heading to the counter to wipe down the display case.

“Hey Y/N, do you mind if Jungkook chills here while we close up? We were planning on going out for drinks afterwards.” Jimin glances at me, waiting for a response.

“Of course not,” I say with a small shake of my head.

“Awesome!” Jimin skips into the back to connect his phone to the cafe’s music system. An upbeat melody floods the cafe as Jimin emerges from the back, cleaning supplies in hand.

Closing up shop goes just as it always does with the exception of Jungkook’s presence. Jungkook ends up joining Jimin in dancing and singing along to the music. He’s not surprisingly just as talented as Jimin in both areas.

I’m putting my rags away when I catch a glimpse of Jungkook and Jimin shrugging on their coats and heading for the door. Jungkook opens the door first, but pauses when Jimin stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Y/N.” Jimin turns his attention toward me before continuing his sentence. “Do you want to join us?” I pat my hands, damp from rinsing the rags, on my apron before responding.

“Ummm, sure. But only if you two don’t mind my company.” Jungkook speaks up before Jimin even has a chance to take a breath.

“I don’t mind,” he says. I swear I saw a faint glimmer in his eyes, but it’s probably just my imagination. I let a smile flutter across my lips.

“Okay then. Just let me grab my stuff real quick.” I rush back into the staff room and tear off my apron, throwing it into my locker. I hurriedly change out of my uniform and grab my coat and bag. I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath before exiting the room and joining the two boys.

I will probably scold Jimin for meddling tomorrow. However, for now keeping my smile at bay is seemingly impossible.

The walk to the bar is short. Jimin and Jungkook do most of the talking along the way while I follow behind them, occasionally chiming into the conversation. When we arrive Jimin opens the door and Jungkook ushers me over to a stool at the bar. The boys order something straight on rocks while I settle for a glass of wine. Just one glass tonight should be fine.

I didn’t have one glass. I drank way more than one glass of wine. I don’t know how many exactly, my slurred mind couldn’t keep track, but it was enough for me to be fumbling down the sidewalk while leaning on an almost equally tipsy Jungkook. Jimin went home by cab, he asked if we wanted to share one, but somehow I allowed Jungkook to convince me that walking home together would be nice. “We can talk about lyrics and shtuff,” he said. Which, I guess we were, but it’s more Jungkook shouting out lyrics in an exaggeratedly “poetic” way.

“I really wish I could hear the lyrics with the music,” I find myself mumbling. Jungkook, who is a few steps ahead of me at this point, turns around abruptly with eyes lit like a stage.

“You can!” he shouts before skipping back over to me, “My apartment is only a few blocks from here, closer than yours, and I have instruments and stuff there. I can play you the song!!”

If I was sober I probably would have blushed, hard, and stuttered out a quiet “I don’t know”. However, not being sober at all I instead blurt out a “Yes, that would be amazing!” and begin to walk to his place hand in hand.

Wait. Hand in hand?!

Well, however we walk he’s at least correct when he said the walk is short. Within ten minutes he’s dragging me up the steps of his apartment building and through the door to his home. Jungkook immediately directs himself to the kitchen. I stay standing just past the threshold of the door though, in awe of the place.

I’m amazed to find my initial impression of Jungkook to be more spot on than I ever thought possible. The walls are a warm burgundy, the floors are hardwood, there’s a faint smell of cinnamon in the air, and if those were cellos rather than guitars in the corner of the living room I’d swear I was dreaming. However, Jungkook approaching me with a cold glass of water reminds me I’m not.

I take the glass from his hand just in time for him to pull me over to the couch, a bit of water jumping ship from his abruptness.

“Sit! I’ll be right back,” he says with a giddy grin. I take a spot on the sofa and take a sip of water, allowing my intoxication to dwindle down to a buzz. Jungkook returns within seconds with his notebook and guitar in hand. He sits next to me - at a distance that should have had my palms sweating - and plops the notebook on the coffee table, flipping it to the correct page and beginning to strum.

The melody immediately has me melting into the couch and my eyes fluttering shut. However, when he begins to sing? My heart begins to melt too. If my little spice cake is magic then his voice is all the wonders of the universe.

I find myself getting lost in him, unconsciously humming, and then softly singing the words along with him. The magic only lasts a moment after that, the music abruptly cutting off right at the bridge.

I ease my eyes open to find the boy staring at me, his eyes filled with surprise.

“You can sing…..” he breathes. My eyes simply widen as I am suddenly aware of what I have done, of the secret little part of myself I have unconsciously revealed to him. My brain tries to take a few seconds to come up with a resoponse, but it doesn’t quite get the chance to before…..

He softens with a sigh, his shoulders relaxing as he stares at me with a captivated smile. And then he speaks.

“God, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

#jungkook #bts #bangtan #bangtanboys #jungkook fic #bts fic #Jungkook scenario #jungkook scenarios #bts scenario #bts scenarios #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #bts imagine #bts imagines

154 notes · View notes