#i am tired of the fals life

[flowersandspacestuff]

Seen a painting of a girl, named "America". America is redder, she is not European. She is her own, she is not owned. She cannot be owned, and any who believe so are taking themselves for fools. For what have they enslaved but their own souls to a false god? For what will they gain but the slaughter of their own hearts on the altar of their wants?

[pretty-little-mind33]

James Potter x fem!reader

KINKTOBER 2024

summary: You need James as soon as you wake up, and he needs you.

warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, quickie, swearing

The morning light shines onto your face from behind the large, sheer, curtains in you and your boyfriend's bedroom. James's head is tucked against your chest, his breath tickling your neck as you stir awake, your tired eyes adjusting to the sun. 

James's stirs as a chain reaction to your movement and you freeze. "Sorry, love," you whisper and hold a hand behind his head, scratching his scalp as he hums with pleasure. James just shifts closer, hiking his leg onto your hip as he attempts to become more comfortable again.  

Even in your sleepy state, you're very aware of his morning wood against your thigh. 

You grin, blinking yourself fully awake as you turn around and straddle his stomach now. James grunts, finally opening his eyes as he lays on his back, messy curls splayed across the pillow and his hands slowly find your hips. 

"Mornin'," he says, his voice hoarse from sleep. 

You press your hands against his bare chest, leaning down and capturing his lips in yours. He responds immediately as his hands tighten around you and you feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

"Hi," you mumble against his lips, rocking your hips ever so gently against his happy trail. 

James's eyes narrow and he smirks. "What's this, mm? I didn't forget my birthday, did I?" he teases lightly, knowing damn well your sex life doesn't require birthday sex to be amazing. 

You shake your head, drawing small hearts on his chest as your rocking continues. You peek at his boxers from underneath you, seeing his dick straining against the material and you smile. "You look needy this morning. Wanna help you," you say. 

James looks down and groans, helping you rocking now. 

"You cheeky minx," he grumbles, voice thick with arousal. "I'm the needy one, huh? Did'you know that morning wood is completely normal—and that means you're the needy one, climbing onto me like this." James's hand travels up your nightdress and into your panties as he teases your skin where the hem is. You moan, leaning down and kissing around his pecks. 

"Jamie, please," you plead as he checks you.

"So wet already?" he chuckles, fully awake now as he admires how the sun hits your skin. "Don't even need to prep you, darling." 

You nod, needing more friction to your puffy clit. "Had a dirty dream about you," you admit shyly, "Please. You're being mean." 

"Mean?" James's hands tighten around your waist and suddenly hoists you up by your thighs, flipping you over. "You're the one who woke me up to your pussy pressed against my stomach, getting herself off. So, hm, how am I the mean one? How was that fair?" 

James scolds you playfully and slides your panties up your legs, throwing them to the side as he pulls down his boxers. Your eyes are wide and needy when you see his dick and your nails dig into his arms. "Please."

"Shh," he whispers as he easily guides his cock into your slick folds, your pussy so wet you offer no resistance, "There, shh, baby, shh. There. I got you, fuck, you feel so good." He's praising you and you feel like you're in heaven. Instantly, you wrap your legs around his hips as he thrusts into you just the way he knows you like in the morning. 

"My beautiful girl," James whispers as he kisses you, pulling on your lip as you use his arms to ground yourself. He loves the soft moans you're making. 

James groans, gripping the headboard above you as he curses. "Fuck, c-can't last very long—I–"

You nod, "I know, love. I know." You know he doesn't last long in the mornings and you don't care. Neither do you. You're both so goddamn horny. 

You focus on his thrusts and how he groans from above you, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure. Your pussy clenches around him and that does it. You're lost in pleasure you don't even register he's spilled his cum inside you until you come down from your own high.

"Shit," James mutters, falling onto the mattress next to you as his chest heaves. 

You turn to him, an equally tired look on your face and you nuzzle into him, resting your head on his bicep. James smiles, pulling you in closer and kissing your forehead. He shuts his eyes for a moment. "As much as you know I love this, it isn't the best way to get us to wake up," he points out. 

You smile, eyes fluttering shut. "That's the point, my love," you whisper sleepily.

James chuckles and his hand which is massaging your scalp gradually puts you into a peaceful sleep and when James's head falls onto yours, you're both sleeping soundly again. 

tags: @mischievousmoony, @sayitlikethecheese, @longlivedelusion, @fangirl-swagg, @fruticake,, @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader, @2dloveshp, @simplyreflected, @desi-brownie, @aunicornmademedoit

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

[libidomechanica]

“We movements, defiles”

A ballad sequence

               First Stanza

With coral beneath that hath no     stays, had He the clouded, and turning sister, pitying     chance through by charms, my dame

taught off Juan said. Which was so far     retire intoxicating the branches me to blamed     hym thought, in proper forming

rich their finger of a threading     in his dripping a golden tits arching toward part of     their right an history, and

that glance of mine. In act to Time’s     creeping shortly and most unmeek,—I knelt before he could     my wrinkled on fire: when

every face.—Shut his face. Not by     rude sound digestion, ’ said the Lady Ida: here are no     changes of promise twice

five bullets frequent in words, and     pray yow soon juan, what capacious state? Lest, till not happiness!     And gay, and every

fine style: how looks like a ballistic     missing our fury with such sweeter! Singing O darlin’     darlin’ darlin’ darlin’

darlin’ darlin’ darlin’. Women     and rosé on the lash one, I think two persuade, and on     the fold! Man’s wife; I sue

not mark of every deel. Started     is Seint Jerome, that achievement of deceive the Dogges     hem needeth fast, and

muttering as air! And for life has     when on thing, on through-in my meat and his state, hang in Sant’     Ambrogio’s! So, all the

nations which had ceaseless and     merciless roses fed, your own face some grace the current dance     with his arm over it

hath broken ben of Scots; true—tears     to hire, every day you tell me, tired with another     girdle, as if by some

reason. For their eyes presence, just     as myne oldest saint, before me, if I were theme; as suite     of these? Smile, like Esau,

for the beaty and here I bid     her autumn tresses fals, but entomb us. Or doon heeste.     How will shore: freezing cold

dominion sweet Venus from hous     and wise, ambitious mazes spreaded danced years old and rolls     the right dread of Widdin.

Most quiet on higher. Thou made     of burning silver spake and Empress, to take your reputation,     for warning: the

heau’nly harmful deeds; the waters,     some wives who make their pinions of lilies fail. To this thorny     sharks from madness is

my little aside: resuming     quite; next week; she of them, and Gods name sensual phantasied.     Felt a high and lisping

through with Plenty of this of     all mankind, keep back your helpe me chaunge of body burst wife,     lust, modest, I wad mourn

when we say, watching. We movements,     defiles. Green leaves of pathos, and pillows whom fell: mething     awkward; for his bed.

               Second Stanza

Be not fed so wikked wyves     wolde lyve parfitly, and wish I were lies and health had come     and glory spread, and what is our heart’s enough, began as     t were, away. One or two on fig skins, that didn’t maketh     kep or chart, a key … Even

there, slew both great Sea-King body,     and so allied. Thy Mother ever dipp’d with me birafte     his cause I take hold my stomacher; and to marry;     for who have loved—that love, into with Fortune sends in the     call? She order’d over.

               Third Stanza

—A moment more lily arms will     to the earth; and white flowers. Her visage, and cough one huge     Python antagonizing here are but me cast, and deem,     because I am forsaken; a tormenting, shewing     told the usual luck!

               Fourth Stanza

And less; and where is not conquest     rose with youth almost at ones. Having tears, and hoar; they     possible. Gainsay, humanity

would put then commence with     the deuill at eight of kisses and breadth and by thee my selfe,     does crowns without defended

marks upon a wide o’er? Thou     opener of their ways: this fated spot for father you     call thee what we directed

learn; there is most indignant     work’d the through the morning- ’ here to be impair, to hope to     blend with a riding them

painted, as their hue, too wise men     yblesse! Her though t were one side by sign that they can’t answered,     peace! Yet preest, so moot

I thynke, she may bithynke how me     bene fraught sun-bow that is a dog, as quiet as day,     for I would love were

solitaire? Bád nat every deel. The     two are the contends, lashed fly to this, that have said Juan, what     made her pair so sorrow

winter, sculptor, cripple free! On     the manere wonned a wicked there, must blow-’ and Morning     like to begin withal

he knew not with otherwise’ she     laid some raise than the loss of good part and starling, you shalt     win much lead and be once

it wel I woot wel it is no     shame or Greece, white, I drew men’s harsh intent to moue, whose plumage     sat victorie, that remote

recoil. By one as stern seas     long agoe: for natural. Syllables, bossed with five bits of deathmasks     into flattery!

Of good though he loud tempest, as     the leve, the love more chastitee abyde, these pretty, trifling     to show his own brain-spattern,

and, last stoops down from their planet,     thou in a new neighebores wyf go roule about     my body would like

to the Night of time. ’ It will now,     a clammy dewy head in perfections as any men;     but little to the women

together: Hugely, he reason     I’m weary death, smiles, O let myself, and his scythe towering     of death-white, I drew

all surmises. Or antiquity     forest out one troublen al his material—men     are such ladies like a

Miss America Contest. That     manly majestic piece- meal with flower add the empress,     her freight on ev’ry tree.

               Fifth Stanza

Is the one while the dream not of     those eyes and my teeth, with a virgin, made within your break     this is all Styx through of

the orange displayment. Me go:     take breath, rather beauty can be thy silver. Like a hawk,     an’ it with his Christian!

The nymph-like a ball above my     fresh from accident; it suffers now, would take the salmon     sing in I would bring the

sun beats light. I wote, it glittering     off bridge hung, shadow and left hundred I was so he     was quench’d in the first fruit;

but prepare with her e’e? That ought     aid.—Address my love, into love to the his bracelet richly     comfortable after

the shepheards doen hem of the     vast disintegration: followers keep for the fought, as     also did Miss America

Contest. Of flutes; not for     gentle she smile as he pays you back from our own image,     white of senses with your

lived for fish, and then I sent our     soft palm—Not so may, what the offer young! With they went that     there reign’d. ’ Lads come cleare. Speak!

Doth false, how shall be bound thanne wolde     I take him to her beauty’s effect on vice. Leaving at     an extraneous mixture

of solemn port, hinted too.     Yet tikled I his horrible which, but knew you see, and     white birch, glinting sea. Increased

in mocke at an extreme     effeminate skin, enough, what not enough, God woot, of content     whistles shadows bathe

away, till your place. And sabre-     like a ball above, thy sweet love when youth and noun, on treasured     much syrup ran across

it—All were there spectrum of     the world’s master, Sirens though no doubt itself and about?     And me! All those who know

that alle they fellows and gave     us, ere from the taper, bowed head cool-rooted me up     with a frown as t were

all my arbour third, they proud and     ranne out its blood: ’twas a high-designed, Heaven. As, seistow,     without slack old negro

Baba pause, in spirit down into     his imperial condescending although in its     smooth-moving to my change.

               Sixth Stanza

To ope that he is ours to thee.     My fine waste, refuse and bad us for you. To feel thing     here once I invited arrest at the main pointed fire     womankind, singing to do with that were go, whence down from     our corner wheelings of

a sometimes ocean invade with     there she hath its way. The disgust, and spin, and—withouten     many han that’s the listening belates, haunted fell storm,     over us, and wide, through the one word that in these dear.     Like flower the broad, made

woman, supernaturally;     but O with daily spend shifts and left his we were manere     wood, be moulders pure was king had to subdued to shame away,     gone fair goddess: which Musike speak; and yet be wedde, and     the mazy foremost, to

glide to go yet thou art all the     dore, as wel after the faces throte. But I am stuff.     The plasma, listening pulsing just a no less air; where three     years? He that is a line of rubles milky way you see,     if e’er, when we next meet

in kingly crown and in black, but     I may paused, as he bled: and so warm of her skims, or sleepy     one! Darling, afire, which I have done. For me,—so sweep     of death sealed by a bowstrings, before her waist, and, but burst     his dog hote to them blyve

of that same flying like an     individual.—We fille as there but that closde-vp sense     it in that’s surface. A plot, a plot to slope, and powers     did falleth me for many a myrthe. Despite, has curved all     night the sound of solemnize

thy cheek ther aspect bursts sixteen     arms into one who were the deep, until I get simple     beach. And pine, and they do not be scann’d, of half a single     music and thy ball who with rainbows, in the distress     he strips from some other,

yet half wonder undinal vast     adieu! As the laste, and such sort, that Lady, I beseech     you blind men must stepped on his transpired? Of pupils; she     had bene their promise: all, then winter that is left them     three weeks, I breyde. Three year

whole courageless, for thee. But     it was also in and song, while her you please me, Soul of     the nyghtyngale, lo, quod the feel estrange alone     comfortable quarter’d from my bondage. ’ She like a battle     for dainty toying. Men

may come to love of earth? Last then,     went ties add whatsoever in all this hour-glass and his     radiant fire, of bigamye? Where in height, closely fused as a     lion’s hands. Would we both perishable repose—still at     eight ynogh, the big kids

lie fall, the sage’s pen—the proem,     how much warmth and waly fa’ the night; I always so poor     struis domos’ shows the sudden like a wellė Jhesu refressh     and gloom; a spell from the day whetting off bridges, hurling     my tattered in, turns life

proves you say, both of trees. Neuer     I wrote thy brighten slowly crimson. Reasons clear to thise     men have? To die through he hadden three, or a Kidde, or pees,     or I missaye. Thereupon she laid his way which may flowers     of his book or lute; but

had still be the clouds and for me     this: how can mend; and wo, we fill! And flatt’ring ivy leaf     takes his quarters, each bevy with oats! Thou shalt thou goest stripling     valentine. Shepheard in his mouth almost to plant, and     runs to his in time, and

after us: this kings of which,     as this greened fell with any men; but I would understand?     I seye sooth. Behold there men, light reach amatory look’d     upon bed abyde, then her stinginess, gossip and dear     the sack and in tears. Let

us pray, ’ replenish hunger     care. His two eyes were seen the east. The penitent shrink—what     is still music we thus began to thee returns to know     how the imperial favour’d drums, and fill or red winged     by thee vantage, doubly

mingled by tome and station, up     shall state, in many wise, and place my mouth, forgetting and     lasting, but wouldst use? Torture- pilgrimages, to take some     me. Upon the Nine, one of the silver little back the     wedde, and have done.—When I

am in the break her who know     much to thee are twin brother’s line, ribb’d and meke, and bad oure     did strove who will be hurl’d with the billows rude in wanton     wing, like atoms—years had to no miracles, and that loss;     both find our exit and

for who would hardly my grief at     thy flame, by God’s worke is coming to sear up and she was     his heed, nakedness is my might be arbiter of faces,     to cast hir hand to thrown and clean any kind? Helen,     the wind: far, far and moss.

               Seventh Stanza

’Bove the morning where, God mought up,     and that vnkind guest had doon biforn, from chain’d, and rites tooth. But     the blood? Side; this knowe, chaunced

to some among weeks shut until     their work, doth tears, even yet are cut off! Low above:     dearest, with it, and me!

               Eighth Stanza

Where they came: she hated leafe sturre.     Of him go and when Fate prevent; nor waste in a church up     fine save you that you wake, sleeps with limit of champagne and     may be sanctuary space sappho last, that Sappho last,     with golden spheres, since king

to his hour-glass of my bosom,     and puff on puff from those of the wedde a wyf in corn, upon     his own like what place, the better, ’ Juan was princes; there     ’gan warm of her dare to cradle wantoning case they fellows     obeying traveller

had been accused, the lassie     o’ my heart in the morning for the cheke that I scorn’d the     shepheards voyce, the sweetest out the hardiest hours, sketches,     wizard and the lady eyed each; and high Poet!—Then the     despite, and follow vast,

so as I said, Ruined. As large,     as though my life or death. Answers here! Our match between sea     and looking fountains save her oath, which wisė wyvės that goes     with thee, and book you or mend the shepherds call. So that he’ll     no gang to confusion

any one’s own mouth gratis.—Fairest     boughs when ye know me why the Spartan Mother job this     way, but Er that the finds none nearer as the first. And studies     at made the midst, Madam, I love yourself-’ and     humiliation you were mis-

shapen pigmies, deaf moonlight—? These     don’t; because he was on the waters trough the damn’dest princess     brought be sentine, who made Catherine, and sooner was served     for that I was able, and profligate to dwells, in gulf     on himself: and her as

has been in repreeve of oure sheet—     crushed her majesty of feather., Believing a wind of     Thought but forth a holier din their farther relics, when     my demon Poesy! And the night longing, leather’d love that     no farewell! In two clear

from end to the chosen lassie,     erewhile I staid an’ shilling stuffed in your own Ellis     Island, and repentance was his force, or no—may teach     strange song his own self-applause, to the highest may deem.     Assembly wander a lawn,

and basketball. Like mischievously     blank to a tempers? I wanted fire and cragge so soft,     unseen, went forward, so moot he be, let thing beneath holy     and his greater blaze, and clepe I, but live, not only     thre werre ystynt. To his

ears, like minde, say whetting armada     of promise, and juicy vigorous cries, when a little     losse, and woof, were they; carpets every nymph arose darkness.,     With them, and I’ll gentleman. To wedde, a God! I would     repreeve of solemnized

the prente of life I crawled out     of my warde-cors, and thus began to tell! Me so. Above     the fickle Fair One, when Fate prevents preferrė bigamye? Who     took their fingers oft and go work&weep. ’ Th’ tempest t     were useless I cannon.

Of pains rise; and lyė as a     skeleton with a smiling both perceived a cursing, alert.     Thing words, and there. And takė me. This joyous al of pictures     of pleasure clerk is some smooth-shaven, love, farewell! We were     in the charge wher third sort

to follow’d, as to blamed hym best,     for a newspaper posterity. What, sir! By Loues own     mirrors they, with the people would like all this dore I how     far have stayed above thee; azure clog him, looking     Lately the interfuse?

               Ninth Stanza

With me birafte his chief pleasure.     And if the seas his worlds miscarry, when themselves awful,     ay or golden sphere. Drew

himself for his small, you on it     and prechyng eek, with neighbouring at another. And he     spacious base. When you can

not imaginings: old rusted     a Saint Bartholome, that burnt up? And were, then I’ll give you     will do well? Began to

be impair, and, well or galleons     of many kisses whisper, by the sixth shafts of     disappointment stuck hard: she

brought thus, God made up now an age,     upon a tuft of sky where therbifoore. But now is this     tale had done its progress

call his rider love killer, I     am murderers hung swoon left foot and from falling safely.     Men become, perhaps

evening, this arrow-wounded under     the first to mine own shared bed, thing so, she orders under     the great rate. And I’ve

made a breathing, sir; for itself,     behind, toward for my birth strung each shell, the law given     departest, as eels are heaven,

doutelees, by sun this lungs     fill wink of it, er than all then too little eye’s anatomy.     Of forms and lie

hid? As fair with what no further,     who is love repair’d shade and slantwise thatch her reflect think     it be well for your pieces

small; not sleeps without the old     neutral person thrown little rain, and her can give sophy,     who, after that here did

perfect beauty might faire, ycladde     in her reflection both included, and, wife, unless what     is Love is oold, and man.

               Tenth Stanza

Boy who little light peeps from a     man of pebble, and purposes them in the perisheth     on deepest groans of

articles of flowers; ’ except     Napoleon, tel me who? Truths, these tune it ye? Lot, they were he     sleep reciting the winter’s

flow into nothing in a     twilight from over me, I said Juan onward steeks his     counterfect cote, or three part,

I’ll she wolde leden al his hand     awe. Kindling art, my thronging to see at last thou did great     long breast will the bedded—

olde beem, al is high-designed, Heaven’s     eye alone cure, like sandalwood leon, or to matter     to the great the queens

and never happy, or arms ’gainst     the delicious to never be the forest-house! I mourn     when youth at once more for

one. Bulb softer swayed, all for both     in life leaks and a maid, a royal right as water, and     so as I best kan, now

that my neighbouring fire you must     at his really sip your nipple, can mend; and all my powers     wind and unto all

eyes; and wipe my life, my kissed moot     I thee gallant gently without a name, will pass the fayre;     the nested wren has thy

fears as though full bumpers; for thy     yoke, arise, all. Unto thy new you already them, and     my Love some queen of season

is some graseth that am     nat prepared, and so Adieu. To soffre hym of that poor breath,     O clamour, which turning.

               Eleventh Stanza

The world shall not be part, my land!     Two from the dewy hill. Is this death, and bounteous Earth shouldst     be loved their way, whan though his white cloak and slim, blushes     Stygian, it could put the stouter, first was al mankynde. To     me my Julia once a

child hold out against a rock     languishing faint vision intellects, whose lips. A quintessence,     put cross, destroys it. I hope and sweet. So than centaur, man     also. Al this death laughs and feather’d, and make hast smil’d     delectable, and step to

be! Then, and you know—two women     should have vanish; more hold mystery angel-brood, lilies     and leaves bene her name; and the Somonour and unload     all go, and my fifth, to their eyes and sometimes of your earth     was abbesse nat wirche as

much however, with all othere     shall anise, the last to him t is no such an accident;     it suffre hym twists off its broke in a church know: draw in     yearly glisten man satire, he which devouring     over that mighty crown

from each confusion for a name     of days and works on lessened and booke of wind black in honest     and forefingers of some odd though the grim Swiss denies     only because of life away his little feet, and want     it I’d have never

the billow-ridge, at least: with wonder.     My seely shells and science, dear, and into a dark     yard I should be spread as breath of kirtles shadows, and the     right slay there honour’d as a man—the night, especial proving     through the twilight grow

to use.—Reaches and for crime; that     the more quiet rides best of prey—that due, uttering about     the rushing knives the matchless we can our own hand. Thought     I well took no kep, so took it away, and followed     therwithal he knees against

his searing how alluring     galleries as good: but nothing— for he did she, whan the way     of aged forefingers doesn’t cut to kill, and, on falls.     Flattery: they as something sweet musings of the hyde that words,     and pebbles on the others,

while upon his visits a     mayde? Thou shalt win much war the door or lattering day; love     her, water has cured its applause, as if to the morwe; and     thy birth, and eke I with others in fruyt of man, the vast     idol; while perpetual

motion will seem so a werkė,     by my feet emerg’d an under yourselves undone they han     in Essexe at Dunmowe. But see, this is cross: but I’ll behold!     His fool lord, dare I how far in lovely light, which may     for you I love foundations

pause, sigh’d a lullaby to     so recollect all the eye of government; for war, those     for a weary of mortal mankynde. That cursed the world enjoy     the little dwarfs, the sage’s masters as the wreck; these     words she would like Nadir

Shah, that for they lash of air of     verb and follows of the tail’s end at a boat and ne’ertheless     as an into a room still lying like all the golden     sorwe! Told wher the gentlemen to its grief at the roll’d     on a ranged; each gazer’s

welcome heat is best, a bell to     me; that same doors: but none their backs, in my gaye scarcely greet     children of my hands, and placing shut, till roam free.—Bright-winged     by soft-conched crescent be unfathom’d brine: for such as     they, like a ballistic

missile, would pulled a face! Oh wretch,     doom’d with the image in airy bour, and the fully the     moore to peer her. Then, and smiles at the elder and even     in thy galage once it was Rome. In the dede; and oft whole     her gardens: thereon core

of dead, and silvery sound of     his brace, whose light! I know that from the the first, that head last,     while scarce could not conceal it be notes, peel your years like a     hawk, an’ it winna let a body be. Before; if any     Mussulman, who had

not hatch men in his eyes that she     was Neptune; and, passing: Mark me! And yet those light in clouds     ally your place, and third, the heat is quench with gore, like a     negative develops, where far as Egyptian Nile. ’ It     will rank you now? This rebel

temperament, receipts in good     bells to see thee. Of gentle blasted me ful soore I thynke,     she unobscure his fo; lucia, like a transmember mountain-     rivers met an odor be dear, that loss; both included,     and with&.—Creation

has been assayed away, or let     me wise, and black, or whit; I took a pride and deem’d to the     tough ones to you heard us? ’St I love the power, we     wol ben at Petersburgh; suppose I’ve heartily think     Your body, and, forsooth!

               Twelfth Stanza

When yet I feel nothing the fading     on his, and seyst men are though to fill each one’s own bones     in the shepheard no summer’s

hanging dais before; for one     stood appetite. Again& become a voice of kisses whilst     their steadfast peace is much

grace was the bark into match and     woes. Nor study, an operatives in the sweet flow’d in     her tremendous tear-drops

of solemn psalms, and was famous,     through and his heart, a loyal minds out. All this tangled, spiking     a friend, I though was

high; but her, Laura lies; thurgh which     kept unused, and most from hiding-holes, and here among us,     a tiger-cat in

Pisces, which they lie still succeed     the ocean-form was woven in the distant had a sinking,     it must now inside

or countryman, and bear then storm,     and ever since Heaven, when i’ th’ temple here; but     she chops the love! Prepared,

the face, that, if not if he ne     used Kinnaird quite forgotten. Good for engendrure,—this     wandering me a places.

               Thirteenth Stanza

And third and a cursing, before     than centuries, the boats of waters, great whale, whan she learned     women to dispense

where the gray shall seize thy lucent     faithful pairs I need his high as he, al were thyself say:     go with ev’ry thicket

into his day. That thonder-draught     as I to be made hym ever had done up like and never     anchors; it’s somewhat

largest winding gem; and wered     Go: we left her pent in his hide; while slow, and corruption     that I praye yow, but not

how, blow him, the stars. My idle     worlds care, and I love to those dim fields in the dusk of sleeps;     then he’s too of sorrows

of tho? When frae ’boon the bottom     did that will coin your pity’s abyss: what name, Bannockburn,     Passchendaele, Babi

Yar, Vietnam. And somme for thee     resort, so will because I am al Venerien in     feelings, and the bays, where

nymphs rounds, and faire adoun, to make     us to hold doming to a though heaving talk chatted,     o that’s an aspect, how

truely I drew that do beat high,     magnificence and my jolitee, cacche who was the minister     smile upon the bed-

furniture all my own king, neuer     set off a cry, no sword of criminal or crime. And     tuck the hand inlaid woodwork

all thine own way; they had ne’er     she did the word spoke not so idle: for a hundred kiss.     And of Lucye: then unto

some words to die through that made those     prophet dream of gold, opening and bounteous roar were leaping—     and naught a message

through sensitive their eyes on an     invade within, with her. What’s the left to his she not called     on the sun, that I trust,

there we have eyes slit likely find     all that hell-borne into your hidder. Angel of her, when     that old trails’ said her

ladyship: and nail me liked a billows     greet me go; must built thou wast glory! Shifts and let him     had made her sunlight, without

defended bidder. When a     signature there. Saw your devouring ray that she kan     hire biwreyed I my conscience

was born again if it the     speed, being serves to cast o’ my official duties of     half wonder’d vines, couched stalks

of disappointment came: but much     treson loste hath in one a marriage in housbonde, on the     portrait in his patience.

               Fourteenth Stanza

The very which in sight for verray jangleresse,     for natural order? Then, dear beyond the could of such exaggeration, they wants a     consent. And a face and though roads there

live—and wept—and faste man shal savoure were lavish,     the substance, Glory, glue the cow is woman tis past thence bore of thy mindful of rubies,     when his carried: but, ah, few! With

so been a wyf doun in their Latin in purest     all such eyes like to be wedded—olde Roman lines of pleased, she laies.—Those heart. If now almost     all that her hand and a silver-

foot, fresh foliage and our hand ancient epic     laws, sing thee lie! And for my hand how she’s the soon, even form applied then in thy sholde     a moment, as the figures of love

is like sails all the night detestable. Upper     with muchel am I wreke; now wol I kiss of barrel-dropping love thee, Moon! Disarray     into this cold engendrure, to

see, bet than that droppyng house where the Scotch say, unlock     its dead: so was wet; for, don’t means invisible which the South to sentence in the     sun came to Sidyngborne that if no

clerk still, fragrant-eyed, and catch all was a small lips,     to cut only see how Sampson loste he had delight where the boy, and then a dream. Here,     beyond also did Miss America

Contest. For the more, and, too,—did she? Come, cold     gave that I was glowing for to bathe merchance, no places. Say, we thus Death felt the fine     was underground; and something through that

fill each the patience. But in water, o look out!     In womman never having a jet streak out you call her oath, which that call out of some     woe, let me call’d my eyes,—in the door.

               Fifteenth Stanza

Like an idle days agone her     sweet native tone the world’s shape of entry. Go, finding Devon     banks, crystal plant a

casement play the world betwixt     Nothing like ugly imps, as if the art I know what’s here!     Besides, all the los of

a high spirits, facing a new     denizen had to shifted round, just through the heir apparent     case grew a fire, of

ayde or care when wrong’d about me,     ther bridal morn before, whatsoever come to Love’s     Elysium. Wing, and cups

full, began to wave enshrined     piously all wrath in him lift a black memorial elms,     and scarcely could I lean,

watching you vomit. With their court,     shows soul, are you have it were fewer; growing compasse many     gaze on youth, immortal

gods! No woods; of love reflection     holds up and stood report. Of bigamye: hem like modest,     on he slim shape, thy face,

you as merely tapping into     suns, the Queen was cold beneath in other waters, so the     glen? But for you came among

melodious toil had we     bothe up an arm! That we can do for you could express behaved     no betters rather

in the mark the holy wedlock     and wooed Sleepe again; as when, since? Arise some my Julia,     and sea-marks; vanward adoun,

but in a flash of age,—y-     thonked beneath that liuing die, that they have given to fear.     Belle Isle,—unfold heaven,

by my fey, I told him with ful     glade to peer he shall be dying. The Prince did break me again,     his God-knows-what: for

down-glancing up with a beck ye     shall of rubles rain: in vain we would discontent to do     our head, and march in fact,

stain her limbs o’er men are slavery     is, as thou now? And what a curiously;—all love     you ’cause the hauntings; nor,

as we shall to me to burst in     Stellaes eyes, that I love you the usual hir lovely     Fair, to hous, too, adding

that cannot bear a smiled away     by the same and thy perennial fountain-top—the voice,     I brought in love divine.

               Sixteenth Stanza

I was toold him there it burst, but     they won’t be bettre in all abroad. And whan I can emerge     exhausted of all sung.

               Seventeenth Stanza

And yet this patient wing, like what     I am allow by seeing: for when masters and ball,     for her sex’s shaves—a mode

of newe woe, plods dully on, to     sip; but being’s face. The leon, yet smelt every you,     Florian, but still. Are borrow,

wrath, and stinging colder. Guy     of you—warm blood buzzes like a backgammon board, who all     the urn once still except

where was none admire had woo’d me     back to call his magic ploughs furrow’d see thee most terms of     night, and leaden Castlereagh

abuse me, not even in     this a life or daughter— what is tied to the nose, high Muses!     Who shall never be?

               Eighteenth Stanza

Verb and fasten’d soul, and they should     rulers, round me; for terme of Mary, ’ for none hair waiting     sent abroad and in his lamp of her soft ear to town, was     vast, though they bene, nor the stinger of a small as he!     Can set down on my heart,

and all those sad highways looketh     Wilkyn, oure fyr and thus Pope’s phrase is cool unders of any     Mussulman, affiance. From tigress robb’d of love, whan she     took a bird’s-eye-view of alle therefore, what entente is     namoore wild tear stooles,

and if you comes a glimpse of the     Earth! Nor was taketh kep or character which had there he     wente, for pencil drew him kiss on your eyes, and t is strange     the skipping limping lieutenant at the wo that dark blue     how change,—upon my tyme.

               Nineteenth Stanza

I to die so I cannot claimed.     We’ and that agony, across to the rest about his     facetious found the same place: I cried ’Tis ask a tender,     Mr. Her blooming told wher thou to supper with fish, to     rally him in a tricks,

and blood, transitory are those     bought else, you shalt scorning’s face, say that ever burns in colour’d     as thou behold him place. And curl unto the drown’d, and     snaky Persian, Grecian, painted, think you of the othere     had delighted mirrored

in, turns lift of some small object,     His world’s bills that I axė, why I told me by feature, what     you want of body be. Well, are castles shine, who promises     and time. Why shoulder to wedded in; and white faces,     especially ill

beautiful there he went, when, singing?     I dress, the window for a year the morrow kept? Those horn-     handed her side; he nolde senge a contumelious, sorrow,     to scare thousands from the glebe, but insinuation. Ran     in contact; and ther scorn

what can mend; and resource was fourthe     hours, but for hymns divine. A heaven. Determines her     multitudinous if you don’t misreport. Mouth when some use.     The red that ilka body but the billows rude. To be,     or a wind is the Fates;

shape that is peril, the damp, spilling     high upheld by jasper pillar! And cleanly could     remembrance dear, I’ll look of wyves bonde. For myn estaat I     ne sholde he me glosen up he rosebuds which cheese aboute     to cast around poles,

numb nubkins, time watch of us     wants a corners of promise, and ev’ry tree. Suppose Gulbeyaz     heaven’s eye, whom all they rang on the her beauties fine,     mouth gratis. I know your brain’s oppress’d its too well. As these     half of the chastity

in the earth; but the feel me the     view—but let my break the sea-mew’s plain; I sue not content     to please their right was equal— when we done. The bare bulb softer,     city, and fallen Europe and then our feet. For     reasoning our mistress? But

sharp-fang’d Martial, and the shalt     undertaken. Cut should be as wrestless and the murder at     little scrip of honey enough the severe, thapostel     tolde he not for some pomp, reflections with the dark, in these     those tempting or because

of thine eye, for once, in the art     thought by the grave, will the Muse tumbling pass’d brow sun-shaded     in the shone father by far you style: how looks like the day     faintly strange of government; for hate. When sinews o’ summer     weeping: half dead, but

forthern seas long ago. He doubted     none near in ther gasping for bloom renew’d. And leave a     dot in myn honoured over me crawl into with my     chain was thinking had heard that he did not bade adieus, and     cursed tasting trial was seen

before, and suckling somewhere leather     mind! Wasted, not so pretty sure therby, I kan nat     suffre not to sale the Frere; now dame, to come, alas, tho’ even     thou wilt thou like again would have been but small animal     love the verge of pee.

               Twentieth Stanza

A streamers they ever tarry.     Raise but a streamed among thing imperation, from thy     holyday above. Then he

herself erect behind then record.     As I was aboute by pearly walkynge out that have     made me but those, then, from

lover, he whole days? And in the     kill. He answered upon the large from slaughters and crown them.     Or hand, if not in rank,

the flesh, you can, upon she liked     a little oak-room which charm’d the nations’ ambassadors     of short fever white rose-

banks, crystal bowed here you sleep.     However water may no whit surpris’d their good old my slain,     swore; and me too. A gray

shadows of aboute to peer her     verse, till a fluid haze of lightning, turning face? On our     dark blue how I weep no

more there is a tormenting, alert.     Surely I not cursed tasting, and seye right: but then, from     the cup runs to heavily

he whole. Thou hast measure, which     he whisper’d to seeke redresse mischiefe praise; for all delights!     Wounds shake their backs on lessened

anything is nought to straight.     Would make here; almost every same, counting-box, an ague, the     roote. Flying, and one’s fates

along the dark nor are through your     hand-twigs of the stalks of ice, has dived that is your faces     blown do but Lippo, by

any of our June—shall with him     the eye of appetit; and so stanck, ere they be worth while     he vsed the blind their hopes

of this a dozen sons, of yellow     does not say appalling to his worke my man, and dance     to life?—Away! I brings

charms my bosom tear the negro     Baba chosen it was a relief, taak keep for those hour     worst of the Earth to rivals

by the recess, pull’d form, look’d     himself at the deserved for the forms make lover’s face and     I wol hem all distance

call thy praised forest booke of it,     even so doo mo, God woot, expressed. Yet ere those who so     masters or daunce, that, for,

thought me here; meantime a globe, that     men may deem. I’ll looked her been with his wings of al his king     slap, and nathless summer.

Smile as snowdrops of you, exceptions     of o thyng that he shore, where those East, far-folded and     still it e’er is a shell.

               Twenty-first Stanza

His force am think with his heed.     Be best lat seek no mistake a foul dragoun, to roll the     cape’s wet stone sholdė go sell.

               Twenty-second Stanza

’Er her side; the light, all the stride     of immortal Rome, alas, that vast been with my consoled,     but small, uttering when

alone, seeing house the way, and     many water-smoke that I meene of us two, how with     its water; and moons towards

and flints, and love my presents of     thy cheste awey fro me? Nor study, an operation     leases of life’s dying

my sad state: when his paiėment, rouse     and so doth hold the Asian show thee that first breathe ten hundred     kisses bloud apart;

ther we nat seyn; but by nyght have     the Earth she know its length of Ithaca, and sing in the     sixth shal telle; with the

cars go squaws of thise meschief is     gentle lady’s the Somonour swich estaat—after leafy     locks had left sidelong

drouth. If the sheet until I     get a lassie o’ my heart of those gentle mind: music     we though Claudius Rich,

Esquire, some, nor I have both     divided alway ye have taken by choir, and stir, so     Julia once again, his

thy first that Psyche, ’ Cyril, for     the next trees feel palpitation turn in the matere a     tale handsome homes of wire.

               Twenty-third Stanza

The shee speaking limbs. And, for Thisbe     and round giddy Endymion knelt watches, illustration     on me, nor the other,

because I know what new to speech     of hearts are exhausted, ere masters. Groaning the sheet. His     evere fyne to make the

high as here, God it went in the     dark, in the wormes small where already they shall be a     Greek; those number of you?

To dwellen in wait awhile its     vernal hues: her dream a little tired, would grief lies deep     river where’s not a

sight as waters divine, until     you ignored for half the spheres exaltacioun. And that was     last not say or nothing

to beare: when pride, could give to tears     they look’d upon a traverse off the wild depressional     price or Ilium any

good nor bound not dazzling my sad     station it teaches—Heaven know. The merchant giving itself:     the grand rest of poets

first of circumstance, for to     be a perfect transparent came upon occasion. Not     be lost then? I went. I

wol nat works are hem ful blisful     was first bud?, Pondering me a tree on which maked for     you cannon. The weight: my

rudder at a green mine, my wear.     In a’ its crime: so Juan said, but to them? But in the western     seas longer your chest

lie under foote in an electric,     chemic silks were stoundes; bacyns, lavours, er than every     thyng we may be said,

It grieving thee soon shall but us     three I am not the inlaid woodwork all greet a     pryvetee. For than if then

cut shorten, Let us to her     turns to kiss the lines of Musicke doth put on a doll’s kiss.     ’Gan to the sweet; his journeyings!

The world and gone hips, whose horn-     handed slumbering complain myself like a hawk, an’ it’s     a pipe of clear waters!

               Twenty-fourth Stanza

Their door with thy heart, and fresh and     to me. And her leave you throughout my heartbeat felt by advised     respectator struis domos’ shows that were still it e’er     store; vanish’d:-If he utter

worlds care, ’ said Juan, who need not     clap your skirts had coming from mid-life to me, by the hall     glittering and lull the poor Glaucus cried my brother aspect     which your time of life,

my kissed the user so it good     choyce, the whilome then, dear the finger: after you’re right to     this deeds, that they? That swift foot and tried my eyes were many     rainbows to tears, and with

backward glide, like Esau, for he     squiereth me upon the green an unexpectant. The more     sprinkles curl’d, baked, friend force, or in his scythe tough for as     Apollo’s touch: my tend faste.

               Twenty-fifth Stanza

Beginning. But every place as     to know nought a haloed ascetic that first. Some men’s face—     his, elbow a mere in any slighter by the Somonour,     Goddes are made a story far as Egyptian Nile.     Gave might thyng—of his hive.

               Twenty-sixth Stanza

Thoughts each shells, and ne’er done and bent.     The olden gloom outburst the climb’d at dawn. Upon the beaded-     curtain presses, dark- green zenith ’bove the first. ’Tis so,     tis the mavis and of prey, are vain essay thus bent to     plainly served, as though to

show but Crist hymself uprear, to     taste for oure shap, and if theyr steads, laughing and blue, that it     display’d, upon some will come at the others in fruyt of     mariage by experience in cavern at they came: she     faltering it dooth myn

housbondes to heauen the Cane of     transpiring eye exposed, a proud, but with their face, his     side dishevell’d hair, though which men with the best feele I     on my name, than a flow just once a monk, God it would light     o’clock mean no doubtless

which upset old Baron will some     riche. As your handsome smallage dress? Their native shower, a     whirl around, that watch of hem hoolly in the childish push-     pin, form’d but the west, and scepter of Jobes pacient in black     facing a friends—they unclasp’d—

I caught you will find yong, and     their breathe soldiers sped; but, ah, few! Left slapped me. Sire olden     pin; since brass, nor far, ere yet grass, and was nothing in     the courtiers stands, and may be not for ardours: thou know     the Platonic pimp of

earth has been oon, they don’t pin men.     That she’llsay or good, for the rich mighty ebb and feels, again     in pursue this is honoured both accounts and from     Shame&Pride blowd in the den and watch you, worth: the opened     earlier had made him within

us. To their good, not thee     them at the wide was abbesse native sun beats light as one     can into and fresh air. Musick more fairest maid on Devon,     with joy, that large, as if the dusk cocoons, she, currents     accompanions, shew might

as well, well, the long them coughed, pulling     bones. She reproved; and, if God comandėment. The     gentle satire, who first ordained with my tale. Then if     everywhere when his ground up thine how I baar me pieces.     And stars kept as filchers

use, trash, such ladies crowd to Church     t is not if he came tongue, a humid eye, and show’d but     these mute to give the shore: freezing cold he goeth; come, and having     pass; thou wast my heart, and take, that he and oh, you must     weep—such halcyon. Great

Britain owes and Us with a     box of Kleenex, that thou to such murdering again; but     it would loved you in the realm she claw like to shut until     the next years whose sweet son! Can’t unlearn what straight now, has her,     bright. Can even thou art

for fresh, of ancient flames to unknowne     that little loss of her lies dream, and naught. To wher that     they contact; and at thy power; your hair womman usynge     out of newe woe, I care no prayers; arts of that the third     that in mariage; for my

life in its coolly, sirės, sith those     body into another maids and science. For it’s jet,     jet blacks were sat alone toil for both find each day had face,     thou shall death—thou never tasted then I’m sure to wedde me.     A silver-white rose: he

fell with a little damp, spilling     from his wyf was a dame Alys. On night come, as wyves,     ne of your Academe, which for her souls, give to haunch. Because     of the same down, some suit of cup and stranger pitch where     was a friends and scepter

of thine eye, or redeeming now?     And said: for wel ye know by the throng’d so longer who know     the snow’s daughte he bottom peep? And th’ angry howl, and     find interjection aptly grace in dew of all around—     But when steps luxuries!

               Twenty-seventh Stanza

Of the same she pause! And counterpane     and sucklings; this is a dove. In March, Averill, and     slander, die. And the thought’s

foes unto that way shadows? And     I bishrewe! And why is it, my Heart. The spade from myself     will now, we know long goodbye

like to lodge there my Last Love,     you are! Till remains, time- past, known a wagon at flesh and     gazed their store; vanish; more

lofty tree limb that odd strike me!     Which yifte of their succeed them like a lately that injuries     to begins with thee?

               Twenty-eighth Stanza

—And Scylla sighing verdure of     Venus werkes wonder morality; the custom of     the day you sat best to

kill, ’ like a Miss Protasoff the     very vessel al of ordinance where and cooking up;     and loves of her door, shit

wrapp’d up its head, along gal, that     should grief her own, she might hours, but comes to go for a rivers     met and his poor monk

out thee! Of squirrel of feet and     his white blade—the first, even a Dandy. With cruelty     didst thou so we calling

thousands on this hour-glass of the     deliciously;—all love are these phantasies, to swinged     China, touch of several

roar of gods, but still so well?     Keep for that hides his pride and, passing in his digestion?     By a bow-string on glorie.

               Twenty-ninth Stanza

Within the soldier, with small,—love’s     gaze towards to say praye, or else fled, wrangled, wrangled, spiking     after and glory of

morn. To pleasure drawn; but livelier     than that smiling chair? In myn houses here? With most all     array; but still show me

bete on ev’ry light, a mixture     did glow. And bowed her minds this, her wishes—did we have always     so fresshėd many

tours, er thoughts of conquer Time. Thought’s     foes until text kan I well was broad-blown comeliness,     sub-marine bene beasts,

she felt so was of his Dianyre,     th’ enamel of flower. I earth-anchored in     extraneous mixture of

radiant breech; ambition! She wept,     but I love were married the market ranged; each other, and     cape. Ah Hobbin how I

was brought Aurelian, and so our     true heart. Passively unto itself will no gang to her     face: he feels no repreeve

of tho? Upon my penny-fee,     and nearly spot where poets single lip—the sun. Singing,     thought thus began himself

upon my pair of bright doth hold     your ring? And lat us wyvės hoten barly breed Mark     tellė kan, and only

what you wilt though t were, though, what     will past her broad and hungers, or rather dies in-Ay me!     Then you are all awry:

however, but thou doubt it was     too barbarous, would see us in one far majesty,     object on object on

vice. And pebbles of sounds for a     weanell was full amount at sighs in the then cease the whole     where when love: little will

smile—I shuffle side does not much     lead and bowing old, and gloom, light head, taking them true as     Maud is somethinks the

night and find what a cheat; for my     soul broke before but if the haunted me, if I should have;     she rosy sanctified.

Only my second was, ne thieves     in the girls, ten or shaw, the black against though rather men     are flesh obey—that in:

say I’m with but ones into the     knelt down a wall.—After think I speaking to hint that was     utmost quiet nest a

little space opens where t is     a though pale, her who have done, is light a beast, still as heart     into the world an ear!

               Thirtieth Stanza

Those whoso that that Circe, feel my bele chose him     a cloak and so it go: it will, that he hadde herd, as if upon his essence of his     child, a white curtain as before me.

That broken pardon to me thing sweet angels of     my arm, signing receipts in our own hair, wi’ purple of this face, sayne, the iolly should     brine: for a doubt gave it time in the

scorns at all to my father ye rose, til the marge,     til he had face that Lady glance of mud; the whole his prove’ ’T was to be part? He felt     so warm and come, where such as chanter,

when man’s, if young or pretty one, my chamber, do     not entire lovė ther in the silk; suppose you must content to shewe hir soul you here?     The monks—they happy, happy region?

               Thirty-first Stanza

Unmanned me: I gazed around his     lap a book or lust;—I can do for you, gentle worse to     mirke. She had love my queynte

allone? The morn was torn by     Aurora’s peering spirit affords in perspectives on me     the ladies, in ground, like

the learned hem shewe hir mariage;     for through deck’d it never where incesse hy, whose break of blizzards     and whiles so many

a white cloud; the proof in words enough     they might myrie fit with diligence to guide: if you have     caught and frantic. But that

no lenger sister. And ranne out,     and is, was princesses are my entire love you I     love you of the Lady

Ida: here, when narrative by     your far strayed from the wo that lucent fair weather in answers     with such this night dream

a little feel for me? Of fragrant,     lusciousness of rivals of gladness must have saved, and     we sat, and has best

acquaintance, and for freshly indifferent     seizure—as with this cancer: could love within my     dewy head of art all

his kicks out they can’t say appalling     traverse stoundes; bacyns, lavours, er than desire,     sleepy one! And han a

sweat, and anchored. In signal: O,     she’s sapphire-region the morn across they happy men     that old Florian, but

for once you enter’d along here     is possibly escaped thilkė tonnė that he then will smile, like     a mere Christian face was

what you pleasant words, of slumbering     with amber that he had an English lady in thine,     even you may hit on:

but will caruen they are borrow,     she waste a womman was so far retiring, and power     o’ the quintessential

providence, methinks his really     sip your lawns, of tho? To cut only thickets: the beams: o,     for the street’s hushed pepper—

althoughtlessly, and that I love     was a time and that same ensamples; pity one hands, blood     was to catch me at earst

thou make up and doun, and go work     of pain each bigger is all things else; and, wife, unless dian     had their dancing shoes.

               Thirty-second Stanza

Your freedom far among the deed.     Until I get a nod. For certeinly—I seye my     testament, and note. And never

was humming sound, and usen     hem yeve it was wont to be hang’d, how gay is your good     behaviour, nor serve more to

Mortal stone, my kissed tree; thy friendship     for his state, and significent House the strange rout of     the sounded like Atlas-

line by arms embrace arraid; and     Waterloo? The through wave is, he huge Earth because to a     lake wherein, they looked up

the clove, all forms and our disguise.     Listen; anon upon the Nations. If you please—having     doen lick. Stood into sunny

warm eve to blamed hymself upon     a doll’s kiss. Debased to ask him whose through wave on some     rebel Pacha a cravat;

for all the boy who war with     less, for wings: old rusted to grucche thyme—and so as I folwed     ay my darlin’ darling,

as quiet and show. A book,     friend, because they made him seem so a werkė, by my will their     poor patient of matrimony,

seem’d to hire there reclined     quite in his heap’d with but your ideal Griefs, and paye his paler,     seeing at his toil

for her holy were to trie; beauty     take it to his single lip—the samė wordes writing,     clean she chops the rosebuds

which make her pale cheek, and zoned     was one view—but there happen, were plodding, that dark brown those     unbetray’d to hint of

means be breeze, all flow, as is a     bold fiction, t would widow, maid on Devon banks, crystalline,     the wind is gon. He

is the work out its arms and lust     an hath broke away, and with shoulder’d as the dead these thing     sweet plight? ’ He saugh hym go

after a lawn; and she wolde I     suffreth alwey a court a long we maun I still some     Though I could have prayer!

               Thirty-third Stanza

My hands break of dining. But that     I prayers divine, to give thee stand injure. Some safe from     his fortified, as doth

she hovers like and I thought surprised     nor bounds: you snared to love that not? Or priue or proffer’d     loves of my mind, his God-

knows-what: and awe. Al redy, sir,     it could give so nene a green, nor it in our Pagan friend     showed my vigorous hide;

which when some friend, and Now, ’ she sat     along hand, nor give the hands were fitted forward, as well     hast measures of those East:

how myrily thing the soul of     the Euxine, and woes. From happy clime—with know: whence downward     weight ynogh at time

desire, close at hand with what helpith     its stark, within its the book her voices telle     ensamples says; for that was

me yet. Or seventy-four. And     down ever debaat. Steeple, and left me in the mariner     on the bright, was no

envious eyed and he goeth; come,     and for in the door ajar so his eyes a moments to     the should strive for our head.

               Thirty-fourth Stanza

They do as the crack in the peace,     and our soft started back of yellow on these great Bandogs     will I pray, I saw you any clocks of their youth and in     the two grubs on the end, doth far away. At last of woes.     That if carried next realm,

and God take his breast: which I hope     from Denmark upon a cream-white noise in oure vices. Between     us, overwrought pleasure. They leave with their play, and     look’d on the scorn. Who hath not a joy,—and farmer’—a race     and must go further thing

settled and with spirit in my     mind, which keeps vigilies a broke out, for moment who love’s     own native homes of empire al this; something imply     but yet for one world? Composed it might hers combining dews.     Crash, somehow, a year is

sisters make here he turned to confess     the moons towards your breath’d her beauty of sterling very     side, until the world will some Bashaw must do to tell, will     these wasted and round not cross’d: of him whipped—how say I? And     father. And blind men to

the grosse.—And now and coverchief     city of each two legacies,-a legacies,-a     legacies,-a legacy of love you restore; and always     love thank’d, and science. That are so thine eye in love solemn     joy, even in style: how

looks my plainly see how odd are     daily life leaks and trust that liuing disgrace and they throned     eminence she full voice of life, that matter days, the wrong—     unless her will not say or gold sandalwood leon, yet     smelt roast-meat, beheld its

the loyal warmth of all mountain     in the nights where are not in myn herte greet chill, I tried and     shucks, refuse and Thetis. Too boldėly kan the roote. Who     were strange of pearl. I should by now than, since Eve’s slipp’d and gums.     Is best masterfully

sin wherefore me with me woods     are used his word? Permit you only moment who wake up     and dig, and little scrip of honey, and sweatshirt and     cassia crow and gums. Where thyng, and brought nedes be upon     her all the Moon! Every

eyes wroghte us weel; I had thanne     wolde supp’d full and sex, were wol hym noght thou were goodė men are     flesh, you’ll nevere wants a cruel. A Candiote cloud’s uncertain     as before me a nest of us poor more clerkes hands     to roam, thy believers,

when frae her aim—his head so wel,     there display’d, upon some ice, taking into the nightgown     would I dibble take a tale! At prepare you style me also,     but burneth always fire so that blooming curls, and pledge     vastly and baffled drum.

               Thirty-fifth Stanza

”…”The most age eas’d to watch, glanced, Sir?     Mistake for terme of their scale. Blushing ready! And scarcely     greed, palace doors; but without

boats, stitch’d through you’ll not heart thumping     like figure, the new despatch, glanced from eve to begins     to plucked beneath a corner

you should we were my Sun-flower     the dark valley, come to blame? ’ Have you by sweets to the     bush where t is beneath

his child holds here, alas! The     tunefu’ power of al mankynde broghte sheets, do you know, the     crowds, or tie up and black,

an’ it will deny! For I, being     should I love! Have a good deal practise here was clouds, and     bright now as we on his,

and innocence, this kingdom! List,     put to rest, as they want to tire: a calm and strike me!     Feeds your three figure, as

soon began, that wanted, than less-     deserving those symmetry set off a though Amphion leaning     for wel ye knowe a

feend, with them, seem to the empty     and take this turn to sit a sight my soul a faithful of     better, or as Apollo’s

touch: my tend the souls, some me.     This one small anise, that love who don’t pin men’s fated size     of all lips had fyve; for

still soon shall the trophies of that     here and on my peril, the rocks of the two hours, but prayers     there, dropped, and the years:

which I deplore so I could repreve     to woman’s, true; but short pause, at whose friend’s head, which he     whisper’d thee bothe; this kind

kissed the sight, and the cote, and     liberty does his prove faith. The pomanded slumbering all     the last a saying, this;

now, by Pan, I cannot blue, that’s     best of his arm overwrought that I was full, began to     thee that with the deed tomorwe!

But before a womman was     more law of all be delight, nor falls under there be what     men are the work marred: for

he had toold him thy sholde make us     poor breathe away, and state, it tikled I his high-designed,     a youth the princely,

as thyn housbondes tolde many     consume, and pray you reside myself in her tremendous     tears, of course in; no ending

a chain was thus quell his hourly     dreamless, he may so longe assailled upon a     newspaper posterity.

               Thirty-sixth Stanza

As they not stood on the daisy’s     side by side, an’ it winna let a bound it not, thanne shul     apparent came a hurry

to your there. Strange. Verses moving     friends and glutted all around her; but those pamphlets, volume     as a skeleton.

               Thirty-seventh Stanza

Whan herte, for hymns of Carib fire,     which housbondes for you could stab of words. My hand—had grassy     barrows at his page,

Yes. Now a kiss on your heard the     old negro’s conditions: promise otherwise’ she cried under     crescent brows—there’s

nothings, and eek smoked superior,     turn him seem I and yet with dear from my bones, few or     deep wound up and renew’d.

[aldo1410]

I can't leave

I can't leave

Because I am waiting for God to come

And kiss me at midday

That kiss sweet

Who cares for me my God

I know you care God

The air feels fine

Here outside

I am dealing with God know

Can't you see

I am busy with him?

Once I open my ear

I heard your gentle words

The little flowers that

Are planted in the neighboors garden is called daisy

I haven't got a woman yet

I am not interested in it

Deep down I am a good person

I am a good hearted man

The answer that you always give me is

Don't worry

Everything will be fine

As long as I am here walking with you

Guiding you along with me

You tell me you have nothing to fear

You assure me that nothing bad is going to happen to me

When your gone

I will love you the right away

I believe that somethings are better left undone

When you are just too tired to do it

The rain fals like water from the sky

Hear, soul and song is what I am hearing

somebody playing that tune in the guitar

I recognize it because I heard it a thousand times before

I never run wild

I am too old for that

My younger days are over

I want to know what I am doing wrong

Please tell me God

What kind of man I am?

A man with feelings

A man who thinks of others and not only himself

I am gaining control of my life God

I am not loosing it

God is my empire

My home is like heaven to me

God

If you could just understand that

It is where my heart is

I am not always brave God

You have to understand that

I never lied to you

I never lied to you

I have to plan for my future

I have to stop feeling sorry for myself

And take some action

The nights are cold now

And when I sleep I think of you

And every day when is midday I know I will see you again

Having a good friend is important to me God

And that good friend is you

The next day at midday I heard the rain

It was coming down hard

I quess we just have to stay inside today

It is fine with me

Saturday I am going away

And I will board the midnight train

And when midday comes no matter where I will be

you will always be there with me

And by your side I will always be

In the morning I look out of the train window

And I see that the train

Is passing by the indian shores

Moving skies I see

They are bright today

Not a clooud in the sky

God I might be fooling myself

Sometimes I don't think I am being honest to myself

Inside my eyes I see that bright light

It is called the sun

The more I see it the more I like it

I am wearing my silk shirt

And my dresspants

And my dress shoes

I do it because I want to feel good and be presentable to others

I will lift up my hands towards your comamdmemts which I love

And I will meditate on your statue

Teach me oh God the way of your statue

And I will keep to the end

Give me understanding that I may keep your law

And observe it with my whole heart

When I think on my ways

I turn my feet to your testimonies

At midnight I rise to praise you

Though the cord of the wicked ensnare me

I do not forget your laws

I long for your salvation

I will sing a joyful song to you God

God I know that my eyes don't lie

To you

You see me

A tired man

God please take my anger away

Please don't tell me where the sun goes

I demand a better future from you

Please make sure I get all this pain and all this sorrow

Out of my life

How many thoughts must I think?

When will I learn to laugh again

And be me?

What can money bring me?

Only comfort

What violence can bring me

Pain and shame

I am the one that have to live with it

What Loneliness brings me sadness

What Issolation brings me

No hope

God I carry no gun loaded with bullets

I don't owed one either

There is a whole new wide world for me

Waiting to be discovered by me God

God your so good to me

Music can heal me God

And put happiness in me

God I have no strings atached to the mobsters

I will show the world that I care about God

I had finally arrived the next morning in Montreal

It was early in the morning and the sun was shining in my eyes

My eyes was getting sore from the sun light

I boarded the taxi and drove to the hotel

When I got there into the hotel I checked in

And went to sleep

I needed a rest badly

I didn't even unpacked my suitcase

I am having more faith in God now

Shadows shadows

Stop me from being a mad fighter

And turns me into a man

Step step up

This is the change

For step up

And be a man

And stop the brutal fight

And learn to control my emotions

I know God that you will help me with that

My heart quivered with a silent of anxiety

Even if I was banished to the darkest place

My love will never let be a lonely spirit

Because God will brighten my world

And the darkness would end

God I will give a chance to life

To pray

To listen to your loving kind words

To listen to the sound

I will give myself a chance to see the flowers that you made it grow

In the parks for everybody to see

You have grown it with your holly hands

God today is the day for me to built a better tomorrow

It is my only chance and hope

That you have given me

And I am going to use it

I am not going to waste it

Because God I want to built a better tomorrow

I will not think about my failours

But I will think about my acomplishments

God

I won't put myself down any more

God thank you for this day

And this day you are here walking beside me

At Night I enjoy looking at the stars

It takes courage for me to be the best I can be

It takes strength for me to conguer the world

It takes strength for me to surender when a bad tought enters my mind

It takes time for me to decide in what I want

It takes time for me to fit with the crowd

It takes strength for me to surrunder to my anger

What lies before me are small matters

As it is promised by the wind

As it is tender in my heart

As it is written in the sky for me and everybody else here on earth to read it

Love makes all things possible

Love is hope's shining star

Faith sees my day shining through

God a song is no song until I sing it

God yesterday was history

God tomorrow will be a mistery that waits for me

Today God is a gift that you gave me

Precious memories tender memories

Could comfort me next time I am in sorrow

Giving me a reason to look towards tomorrow

I can recall a word or deed

From an anuxpected source

That helped uplift my spirit

As I travelled on life's course

So I will never dwell on my troubles

Of a cross I had to bear,

Search deep withim my heart

And find sweet memories there

My life is full of mixture

Full of sunshine and rain

But memories of sunshine I can keep

Memories of rain I can let go

because I find it so sad

I will not quit even if things didn't work out for me God

Because there might be something that is better for me

I will wait for something else to come

It won't be the end of the world

[x-woozi]

An Unwise Interest

Part 10

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Summary: Of course you love your brother but he can be a bit overly concerned and involved in your personal life. Things only get worse when you find yourself having a little more than “friendly” feelings for one of his best friends.

A/N: I’m sorry it took so long to post life’s been a bit much lately but it’s here now! Ta-da! Love interest revealed, and surprise surprise it’s Jihoon. Im sure you saw it coming but I hope you still enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Balloons are great and all but the set up and cleaning up is a pain, especially for what you have planned. Luckily you’ll only have to worry about one of those.

Deciding to not be completely mean you planned to fill the majority of the balloons with the confetti first and only a few with glitter. You set everything out side by side on Seungcheols bedroom floor. “Okay I’ve got the balloons and confetti but where did I put- Ah the glitter!” You said aloud to yourself with an evil-like grin as you imagine the look on your brother's face when he gets home.

Rather than waiting for Jihoon to get back, you started without him knowing he’d be against taking any part in it and would have to do some convincing. You tried your best to funnel the tiny pieces of paper into as many balloons as you could before inflating them.

Rather than waiting for Jihoon to get back, you started without him knowing he’d be against taking any part in it and would have to do some convincing. You tried your best to funnel the tiny pieces of paper into as many balloons as you could before inflating them.

Once it was time to blow them up you realize where you went wrong. There’s no pump, no helium tank, nothing. You thought to yourself, this is that stupid pre-prank karma isn’t it. All you could do now was pray your lungs make it through.

10 balloons in and there are many regrets going through your mind. Tying the ends is starting to hurt your fingers, bring rubber bands or ribbon next time. Starting to feel a little lightheaded having to blow them up. Gotta remember to get a pump for these things! Some of the confetti keeps slipping out and getting in your mouth. Why does this feel so dan-

There was a loud thud that came from the other room interrupting your thoughts and making you inhale sharply with a balloon still at your lips. Going hand in hand with your last thought the timing was great because now you’re choking and there’s an intruder. Trying your best not to completely panic when you hear footsteps rushing towards you loudly coughing, you look around the room and realize you have nothing to defend yourself with. what a great way to go.

“Are you okay?!?!” Jihoon yelled as he barged into the room, “what happened!”

If you could this is where you would’ve let out a sigh of relief, but no, still choking on paper.

He practically leapt to your side and aggressively patted your back trying to help, which it did a little. When you caught your breath you quickly faced him, “what the hell, who just comes home and immediately starts slamming doors and shit?? I could have died because of you!”

“Are you being serious?” Jihoon stared at you in disbelief, “first off you’re in my home”

“It’s also my brothers.” You stated as a weak argument against him

“Still not yours. And second that wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t doing all of this” he motioned to the mess you’ve made on the floor. “So who’s really at fault here?”

“wow just blame the victim I guess” You folded your arms “I never took you for that type, I’m disappointed Ji”

His jaw dropped, “the v- you?? You're joking right? You’re the victim?” Scoffing at your claim “right and I’m in the nba”

A small laugh fell from your lips before you could catch it, you cleared your throat to hide it “anyways, were you going to help me with this or not?”

“Would I have brought these if I wasn’t?” He held up two plastic balloon pumps “I had a feeling you didn’t have one, and of course. I was right”

You rolled your eyes “yeah alright well let’s get to pumping, I’m tired of almost dying doing it the old fashioned way.”

Sitting on the floor across from you and grabbed a balloon to start with, “no one told you to take it this far, so that's on you” he shrugged

He wasn’t wrong, you were the one that wanted to do all this but it was going to be worth it in the end. At least you hoped it would be. Of course seeing his initial reaction to seeing it all would be fantastic but after that there's no telling what he’ll do.

As you both sat there with balloons starting to pile around you, you started to think about what your real plans for after college were. “Hey Ji, can I ask you a question?”

“Was that not it?” You squint your eyes back at him and he sighed, “go ahead”

“How did you know to decide on being a music major? Like I know you’re really good at all of it but how do you know that’s what you want to do forever?”

He kept his eyes on the balloon in his hand “Because it’s my outlet, my contribution to the world. It doesn’t reach many people as of right now but for those that it does reach it makes them feel something that only music can. Music is like the medicine everyone needs at some point. It makes me feel good to help people in that way and I want to be able to reach and help as many people as possible.” You had watched the way his smile grew as he spoke about his passion but quickly fell as a pink showed over his cheeks when he looked back up to see you watching his expressions.

There was a sudden pop and with that rubber and confetti was everywhere. You jumped slightly at the noise, “oh no!” You giggled “well that’s one less for him to worry about later”

“At least it wasn’t one with glitter in it” he added while dusting the pieces off of his shirt.

“Very true, that stuff never comes off” you agreed “hang on you got some in your hair”

You leaned over to pick off the few pieces that made it up there before realizing he was reaching to get those same pieces. Though instead of the paper it was your hand he grabbed.

(Que the cheesy kdrama music: Duu dudu duu dudu duu)

Your face immediately burned red as you felt a small panic rush over you. “Sorry I just-“ You laughed lightly as you pulled your hand back, “you know what, I could use a snack break” you stood up and raced to the kitchen. Oh god why am I like this? It wasn't even bad! You thought to yourself pretending to look through the cabinets. Did I make it more awkward running in here like that? Shit.

In an attempt to make it better you decided to make both of you a pb&j, but also as a thank you for helping you finish even if there wasn’t much to do. “Grape or strawberry?” You yelled with your head basically still in the fridge. There was no answer “Ji!”

“Strawberry” his response surprised you with him being much closer than you thought. He had joined you in the kitchen and was grabbing the bread from the counter behind you.

“How did you know what I was going to make?” He looked at you with a straight face. You rolled your eyes and took the bread from his hands. “Maybe I was going to use crackers, make mini pb&js.” You finished up and set them on plates at the table across from each other.

He followed behind you, sliding a glass of water to you before taking his seat. It was silent as you both sat there eating before Jihoon spoke up, “so I’m going to guess that you’re still struggling to pick your major.”

“Says who?”

“Not even 10 minutes ago you were asking how I picked mine.” He pointed out as he picked up his sandwich.

“Well what if I just wanted to get to know you better, make small talk you know?” Trying to defend yourself.

“Okay so then what did you decide on?” He questioned.

“I haven’t.” You responded sounding defeated “what if I do pick and then change my mind then I would have wasted so much time and money for nothing”

He rolled his eyes, taking another bite. “Just don’t think of it like that, think of it as broadening your horizons, explore your options. What do you enjoy doing?”

“Being with my friends? I don’t know”

“Fine, what are you good at?” He waited for an answer as you just stared back with a blank face. “Seriously? How about a planner like for parties and stuff?”

“Me? Plan things? I can’t do that” you laughed at the thought of it.

Completely at a loss for words he gets up and motions for you to follow. You do while bringing what’s left of your sandwich. He led you straight back to your brother's doorway and stood with his arms crossed. “Did you not plan this?”

“This is different. It’s a prank, not a party” you tried explaining, “this is something simple. But we should hurry and finish because he should be home soon.”

He rolled his eyes at you trying to change the subject, “yeah alright but at least think about it. It doesn’t hurt to explore all your options.” he sat on the floor and picked up another balloon. “Especially when you have no idea what you’re doing with your life.”

You scoffed and tossed a handful of deflated balloons at him “I’m sorry, is that judgement I hear?” he looked up at you with raised brows. “At least I’m trying to have fun and enjoy my life instead of staying locked away in my room.”

“I do not stay locked in my room.” He tried defending himself

“Oh my bad, locked away in the studio.” you correct yourself.

He then threw some balloons your way, “I go out and do things. I can have fun and enjoy life”

You took that as a challenge and picked up some confetti and held it in your fist, “you sure about that?”

“Y/n, what are you doing?” he put a hand up as a barrier questioning you.

“What? Are you scared?” you pulled your arm back preparing for launch.

“I just can't tell what you're throwing at me.”

“Let's find out then” as soon as you threw the paper he reached for the glitter and was ready to throw some back. “Wait wait!” you tried reaching to stop him but it was too late, it was everywhere. He was bent over with laughter as you sat there covered in glitter glaring at him. You picked up another container and sprinkled it over him, letting it fall everywhere.

His laughing slowed as he froze when he saw sparkles coming from him. He let out a short laugh before quickly grabbing your arm to keep you from dropping anymore on him. “Really?” Your first thought was to grab it with your other hand, but as you did that he caught you with a smirk

You tried pulling away but with his grip it only forced you to scoot closer to him. There was now a warmth growing on your face as you stared back at him trying to think of your next move to get out.

The smirk still on his face “now what? Are you done?”

Something dropped at the doorway forcing you to both turn to see your brother standing with his bags at his feet “what the hell is going on in here!!”

Suddenly your hands we’re free and you rushed to your feet. “Wait cheol-“

“Out of all the people and all the places! You two?! IN MY ROOM?!!!” He started towards Jihoon.

Moving yourself between them “wait wait it’s not what it looks like I swear!!”

Jihoon was up and backing away slowly “you know me.. we friends.. roomies.. just take a breath”

“Y/n go home I’ll talk to you later. You.” He point at Ji “we need to talk now.”

You grabbed your bag and basically ran out the door. it’s fine it’ll be fine I’ll check on them later. After I’m far away and he’s cooled off.

Obviously you felt bad for leaving the situation like that but what else could you do? Seungcheol was a little scary when he’s mad.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

SOMEWHERE ON THE ROAD.

Marcus Álvarez x Jackson Teller' sister!Reader

Anon asked: how about an imagine of Alvarez x Jax little sister

Word count: 2.3k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💖

Author Comments: Let me know if you would like a second part! I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​ @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcroslut @jade770 @arveeee @witchy-wish ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

“A woman isn't gonna touch my bike, pendejo”.

“Mexican, drug dealer and sexist, you have the combo, Álvarez”. You roll your eyes, taking him off the keys whilst he's focused arguing with your brother.

“Amma' fuckin' shoot you, puta”. He says then, trying to get the gun behind his kutte, before Jax stops him with both hands on his chest.

“Trust me, brother, no one will treat your bike better than my sister”.

“You better”. He threatens him with an aggressive tone, before having a sit in the nearest picnic table.

Of course, you know you're going to work with his dark eyes constantly on you. But you don't care. Once that your headphones are on and the motorbike is on the lift, you only get focused on figure out what's wrong with the engine. You try to turn it on, knowing by the watery buzz where the problem comes from. So you can get down to work.

Taking a hard plastic tube, you tuck it inside the gasoil tank, sucking by your lips the other extreme just one second, before the dark liquid start to fall into the pail close to your feet. And by the lumps it has, you know that the fuel pump is already k.o. But first you have to leave it empty. So when the tube is dripping every six seconds, you take it off to walk towards the tools closet, choosing the ones you need. You start dismounting the body of the motorbike, just to make easy unscrew the pump, cleaning after that some rest of fuel around the empty space with a brush. Throwing away the component, making a loud sound colliding with the floor, you can see sideways how the mexican tries to get up himself from the table, being stopped again by your brother's hands.

Cleaning yours on the jumpsuit, you turn over your feet to guide your steps to the right corner of the workshop. Opening another closet filled with cardboard boxes of different sizes, your fingertips tour every tag on them till you find the model you need. It takes you twenty minutes more, between assembling the motorbike again and fill the tank. You know it's ready to be used, but maybe clean it up could be a good gesture to the Mayans president. And you do it with extreme care, a new sponge and a soap that will give it more shine. It's an easy job, but you have to do it well. Finishing it by spraying a sun protector for the paint.

When it's already done, taking off the headphones of your ears, you walk close to the table offering him his own keys.

“Thanks for hiring the services of Teller Morrow, señor Álvarez”.

The man take them in silence with no gesture on his face, getting up so he can go to his bike and check it's already working. Of course yes. Jax raises both eyebrows with a huge and satisfied smile on his lips, and both arms supported on the table as his back, looking at the mexican.

“You impressed him”. Your brother says, holding your waist to push you into his lap, sitting there.

“Yeah, sure…” Rolling your eyes you palm his chest chuckling.

“Are you gonna come to the party tonight?”

“I don' know. Should I?”

“You should, daughter of Anarchy. Other charters are coming and I need a babysitter”.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

You're not into parties, that's not for you being the opposite of your brother. But as your mother always says ‘club goes first’. No matter where you look at, there are girls almost naked dancing around every men there and for you is pretty uncomfortable. You can't hide in a dorm, occupied by some member fucking one of those bitches. You can't hide in the clubhouse because they also don't need a dorm. You can't hide in the workshop because, well, same shit. So the only place secure for you it's the rooftop, where your father used to teach you about the stars on Sunday nights.

Lying on the floor with a beer next to you, you place your hands under your head, focusing on the dark sky and trying not to hear all the barbarities that are happening in the crowded yard. But the characteristic sound of the metallic door getting opened calls your attention. Alvarez is there, holding a small cardboard box in one of his hands. You turn at him just for a second.

“Shouldn't be the Mayans presidente joying the party?”

“Shouldn' do the same the ‘daughter of Anarchy’?”

Clicking your tongue and sitting up to have a drink from your beer, you curl your knees against your chest. He already knows by that gesture that you're not enjoying the celebration. Walking towards you, he offers you the box.

“Jax told me you said 'you like my leather handles”.

With a raised eyebrow, you take it opening the brown flap to find them. Aren't the same, but they're pretty cool too. Pursing your lips in a soft smile, you twist your neck in a funny gesture.

“Look at you, presidente. From calling me ‘puta’ to giving me a present”.

“I know how to recognize a job well done”.

“And complementing me”. You nod with your chin, joking on him a little.

“May I join you? I'm not into parties after a long week, chamaca”. He says, sitting down without waiting for a reply. “This morning I had the… feeling that you're like a locked bird”.

Taking away your gaze from him to the dark sky, you shrug your shoulders with a soft sight drowned in your lips.

“Who cares?” You ask then with a lower tone.

“Your family?”

You laugh bittersweet shaking your head, surrounding your legs with both arms and your eyes placed on the leather handles.

“Gemma and Jax live for the club. They just… dragged me to the life my father tried to save me from”. You say, and maybe it's reckless but you're tired of all these bullshit. “We don' have the same concept of family as the mexicans have. America is based in money and power. And if they have to kill their own blood to earn it... they don' doubt”.

It's painful, but it's the crude reality. He nods one time, whilst you're drinking again. And the man doesn't say anything else, narrowing your left shoulder for a second before getting up and leaving you there alone.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

Hard knocks hit the door of your dorm at the clubhouse. You stayed there the last night because of the last week you had to work most than never before, since other Mayans knew you fixed Álvarez motorcycle. It's almost eleven am when you watch somewhat sleepy the clock on the nightstand, looking at the entrance that Jax is crossing with a confused look on his face. Closing it after his steps, he sits in the edge of the bed. Sitting up and rubbing your eyes with your knuckles, you yawn exaggeratedly.

“I don' start till four”. You say feeling your throat pretty dry, after all the shots you drunk last night.

“What happened in the party last week?”

“What do you mean, Jay'?”

“Did you talk with Álvarez?”

“Yeah, more or less. He brought me something like a… present”.

“He put a proposal on the table”.

You growl a little bit confused with a firm sound.

“He's gonna open another two Mayans charters. That means he'll travel more often”.

“Good. So, what?”

“He wants you as his personal mechanic, riding by his side”.

A mix of feelings are running through your body, having to hide them all, pursing your lips and shaking your head for a second pretending that you're surprised. You are, but at the same time, you're not. Charming it's not a place for someone like you and Álvarez knew to see it.

“The question is…” Jax holds your hands with his, leaving a kiss on each back. “What do you want?”

His blue eyes are on yours. Maybe you can keep your secrets, your wishes and your concerns away from your mother. But it's impossible to keep them from him. And he even doesn't need words to know your answer. His gesture changes into something more unhappy and disappointed with the decision you're going to take. Jax can't help but letting a tear running down his cheek, putting his gaze away. You will still submerged in the MC's world, but at least, you're gonna be far enough from Charming to burn in hell. It's another way to save your life, as your father always wanted. As your brother does.

With a heavy and sad snort, he leans towards you with a hand on your nape pushing you closer, leaving a slow kiss on your forehead knowing that it's going to pass a lot of time until he will be able to kiss you again. You're already crying with your eyes filled with tears and a knot oppressing your throat.

“I never wanted this life for you… But I know he's gonna take care of you better than I could do it here”.

“Don' say that, Ja—”.

“It's true, (Y/N). Gemma loves you, more than she will ever love me, but all she wants for you is to suck the cock of a Son' and keep his house clean. You're not one of those bitches, you're a free soul. And no one will ever tame you. Don't let them, sister. You're more than a fuckin' pussy”.

Maybe they're not the best words to show his love, but you understand the jargon he's using.

“We will meet again, somewhere on the road”. You say swallowing, biting and licking your lips, remembering those words your father used to tell you.

“Somewhere on the road”.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

Farewells have always been hard and sad, knowing that you're leaving a piece of your heart in the town that saw you born. But it's not your home anymore, since many years ago. It's not the place that should fits you like a second skin. You haven't even looked back after you have turn on your motorcycle behind Álvarez's. And you haven't even looked back when you have passed away the welcome sign of Charming. It's not the way you would like to leave them, but someday you had to fly from the nest and you know that your father, wherever he is, is proud of you.

Night is falling down when you're reaching Oakland. You have never been there before, but looks like a good city to create your own roots. At least, is prettier than the sewer that Charming was. Álvarez makes a gesture with his right hand, being passed away by the other Mayans, before doing you another one. You speed a little your bike, placing by his side somewhat confused.

“Follow me”. He says louder, above the sound of your motorcycles. You nod without asking.

Going down the principal avenue, he turns to the left before a roundabout, driving for three minutes more on a secondary street till the music floods it. Making you a last one gesture, you park close to him, getting up and taking off the helmet. There are a lot of people on the street, dancing, laughing and eating as if it was a mexican festival. The happiness infects your body, looking around fascinated by all the colors hanging from the lampposts with different shapes. You're too focused to see the way Marcus is looking at you, walking some inches away from your steps. Putting your hands inside your pockets and turning above your feet just one second, you find yourself smiling with some naturally you didn't even know you could have.

“You like it, ah?” He asks then, bringing you back to real life.

“Yes”. You just say reaching him and letting the mexican place an arm on your shoulders.

Some minutes after you're sitting on the edge of a sidewalk eating a taco for first time in your life. You know what they are, but you haven't tried them before and it's really delicious.

“Welcome to the tribe”. He says after cleaning his mouth with a napkin, cheering his food with yours.

“Eating it was the ritual?”

“I can't have by my side someone who disrespect my gastronomy”.

You chuckle shaking your head, having another bite maintaining his gaze with yours, so he can see you're really enjoying it. Drawing after that an exaggerated smile, closing your eyes for a second. Marcus laugh loud, touching his shoulder with yours.

“Thank you”. You mutter then, pulling down a little piece of paper so you can eat the last bite.

“Fo' what?”

“You saved me, and no one asked you to do it. You could have walked away... keeping your business with Samcro and pretend you never heard anything that I said”.

“You said mexicans have a different concept than americans, but you were wrong, chamaquita. My family sold me too”. He replies, cleaning his hands as soon as he finish to light up a cigar. “Mayans. We're renegades. We're a family of people who were betrayed by their own blood, that's why ‘the club goes first’. And I want you to be part of it”.

That has sense. All the sense that there can be on earth.

“I want to give you a family. A family who will give their lives for yours, if it's necessary”. Having a smoke, he points your heart and your head with his free hand. “This and this can't be locked in a cage. You have too much to offer the world, (Y/N). I couldn't leave you there, rotting among scrap, putas and drunks”.

You nod for a second, taking the confidence to surround his closer arm to you with yours, resting your cheek on his shoulder.

“I can't promise you a good life, but a bullet to shoot it whenever it tries to fuck you down”.

“Socrates is crying with emotion because of your philosophy, Marcus”. You joke on him, calling the mexican by his name for the first time. Fact that doesn't seems that bothers him, accompanying your laughter with his.

“Wanna' meet the crew?”

“Of course. I'm ready to improve my spanish”.

“The show just have started”.

[emma-nation]

Ticker Than Water - Bloodbound AU (Chapter 4)

Summary: When Amy changes the course of the events at the Opera House, she could never imagine the consequences she would have to face. After being by Rheya’s side for five years, she’s finally ready to be reunited with her friends and find a manner to defeat her. But when the time comes, what will prevail? Her love for Kamilah Sayeed and her friends or her family ties with the First Vampire?

Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance

Tag List: @slytherinthoughts7, @lightning-fury, @spacecarrousel, @gavryllo​, @kamilah-the-bloodqueen, @whoinvitedalx, @sheyah, @imnotdonewiththeelementalists, @belvoiresqueenbee, @morvengarde​, @tephy24​, @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @scorpichoices, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @justejuste727, @evexofxtime, @zoe6111, @shanuuh, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @kenna-and-val-are-my-queens, @fal-carrington, @spookyjellyfishlove, @samgtt700​, @just-thinking-loudly, @martachm, @masterofbluff, @rice-wifee, @lifeisadance96, @serafinedupontownsme, @hellyeah90sbaby

4 years ago - Japan

The first signs of Winter started showing on the city outside. Kamilah wondered what she'd be doing if she was still living in New York. Working, perhaps. And also planning the next Dark Solstice.

The necklace. She didn't have time to retrieve it from the secret drawer in her office when they ran away. It would be her only memory from something that didn't exist anymore - her relationship with Amy.

"I did it," the penthouse door opened in a slam, making Lily completely lose focus on her video game or Jax stop sharpening his katana. Adrian seemed to be in ecstasy. "I... I managed to grow a seedling from the sample we obtained from the Tree Of Death. This could stop Rheya for good."

"How great," Jax replied with some sarcasm. The last few months turned him into a version of his late master, Takeshi. "And what about the others? Also, how long is it going to take?"

The others. Kamilah's stomach flipped. Amy was one of them, along with Rheya's husband and daughter. And she was so strong as the First Vampire herself.

"It's a start, Jax," Lily added. "It'll be easier to take her down once she becomes a Feral."

"Fine, but I'd like to do the honors."

"Kamilah?" Adrian approached, touching her shoulder briefly. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes," Kamilah told. She was too invested in her own thoughts, reflecting about the part where she'd have to face Amy again. What if they had to kill her? Would she be able to do that? "We will wait. When the time comes, we'll fight again."

Lily suggested a celebration, Jax agreed and so did Adrian. Since their arrival, they barely left that penthouse. Except for the occasions where they attended Kano's training sessions. The psychic vampire taught them how to guard their minds from Rheya. And also Amy.

"You can go. I'll stay here."

"Come on, Kamilah," Lily started dragging her to the door. "You never say no to booze."

"I'm saying this time."

"Lily is right," Adrian said. "You are coming with us. It'll be a good distraction."

"Yeah," Jax agreed. "We must stick together. Remember?"

This manner, the three younger vampires managed to make Kamilah to go out for the first time in months. Still a little insecure about their safety, they decided to visit The Five's nightclub. In the end, it was not terrible. Jax and Akeyo engaged in a singing competition, while Lily attempted to copy The Evolved's robotic dance moves. The female vampire let out a small laugh.

"Finally," Aiko slowly approached her. "Acceptance is the last stage of grief."

"I guess so," Kamilah replied in a dry tone.

"She's not coming back. She made a choice."

"I know."

The reminder of that fact hit Kamilah's heart like applying salt in an open wound. One year had passed. Amy was still doing atrocities together with Rheya. She showed no signs of regret or mercy. Not even a trace of the old Amy still existed in her eyes. The powers had changed her completely.

"I need another shot," she ordered to the bartender. Then she looked at Aiko, who observed her with the same old and seductive smirk. "Two shots actually."

----------

A blow from one of the mythological creatures that surrounded Amy in the mindscape forest threw her hard against a tree. Though the fight was happening inside her mind, the pain felt extremely real, as if her skull had been fractured.

"Ouch..." she moaned in pain. "Can't... back... down..."

A fire blast started to form in the center of her palm. If she could maintain the focus, it should be enough to stop the creature that was about to strike again.

"Ha!" Amy released the fire ball, that disappeared mid-air. "Fuck!" She screamed, punching the floor repeatedly. Noticing her frustration, Kano pulled her back to reality.

"There's something wrong," he spoke in all his wisdom of a 500 years old man, in a 5 years old body.

"Not even when I'm mad - and trust me, I'm really mad - I can make this work."

"You won't be able to do this moved only by anger. You need focus and discipline."

"Kano," Amy squeezed the water bottle she held, "we've been training for hours. I can't conjure one decent blast. I'm focused, I'm doing all the meditation exercises you taught me... I just can't. Maybe she drained my powers while I slept."

"It's not that," Kano handed her another water bottle, that she drank all in one sip. "There's something blocking you from reaching your potential."

"What could it be?"

He forced her to face all the nastiest skeletons in her closet for a second time that day. Starting by the childhood trauma caused by her mother's behavior. Though Amy knew the reason behind her rage outbursts, the marks would always be there.

The child version of herself was drawing in the kitchen when her mother entered, completely disturbed.

"Mommy!" She called. "Look what I've made for you."

"Nice," the woman barely looked. She was too busy inspecting the cabinets for her painkillers. "Where are them?"

She swallowed a couple of pills and little Amy's heart filled with hope that her mother would finally be able to give her some attention and love.

"Can we play teacups now? I missed you. You spend the whole day in the bedroom."

"Can't you see it, Amy?" The woman yelled at the child. "I am sick! Why can you just respect me? Why can you just be quiet, huh?!"

As she slammed the bedroom door, the little sat down on the floor breaking into tears.

"What did I do wrong?" She asked herself.

"Nothing," adult Amy sighed at the scene. "You did nothing wrong."

Then they moved to the Opera House. What else could be there to be seen? Amy did both of her crucial decisions - the one where she decided to tempt the fate and avoid the death of one of her friends, becoming a monster in consequence. And the one where she took the dagger. That was the most painful to watch. She had already seen Lily dying in her arms, as Kamilah plunged a stake in her heart to prevent her from becoming a Feral. She also saw Jax, sacrificing himself to die as the warrior he was, not as a disgusting rotting creature.

This time though, it was Adrian who took the fall to save her life...

"Not her! Never her!"

"Adrian!" The past version of herself screamed, kneeling down on the floor near the male vampire. "W-Why did you do this? Y-You didn't have to..."

"Amy..." he clutched the injury in his abdomen. His skin was already acquiring a grey coloration. "I had to. I was the one to bring you to this world in first place. I swore to protect you."

"But..."

"Shhhh, it's okay. I've had a long and accomplished life. I made a lot of mistakes too and somehow I think this how I must pay for them. I... I'm ready to be reunited with Eleanor and Charles."

She glanced at the rest of the group. Lily was sobbing uncontrollably. Jax punched the wall in anger and denial. Kamilah was also kneeled by Adrian's side. She was trying hard to prevent the tears from falling.

"And Amy?" Adrian said, before handing her a stake. "Take care of Kamilah. She needs you."

"No!" Both versions of herself screamed at the same time, as Adrian forced her hand to stake his heart. She collapsed to the floor before they moved to the next memory.

She and Rheya were terrorizing some citizens in New York City. Those who still refused to bend to their orders and obey their every command.

"I condemn you to be my prisoners," Rheya smiled deviously, staring at the small group of people restrained inside a TV station. They secretly planned to leak information about the Apostolous family to other states, including their ability of controlling and manipulating minds. "You can be my servants after all. You could entertain me, feed me... or even fight for me."

Amy emerged from a door in the back. Her hair was a mess and she had bags under her eyes. She was in a terrible mood, what lead her to slowly approach and start to snap the neck of each one of the victims. One by one.

"Foolish creature! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rheya asked, visibly annoyed. "I wasn't going to kill them yet, they could be useful to my purposes."

"Getting things done faster," Amy told. "I'm starving, I'm tired. I can't wait to get home and feed."

"Of course, you spent the whole night out with Serafine, going to clubs and using your psychic powers for recreational purposes. I told you I needed you in shape this morning. You disappoint me."

"I'm sorry, Rheya. You were going to kill them anyways. They're all useless insects, isn't it what you always say?"

"You're right," the First Vampire approached and touched her chest using her indicator finger. "But I give the orders here. We may have the same blood, the same powers powers but I'm in charge. Do you understand?"

Amy was back to the same mindscape as earlier, surrounded by creatures in a forest. She felt angry at herself, yet she accepted it. She embraced the fact she was weak to resist the darkness inside her. It was part of who she had became. And now she wanted to change and make things right.

"I can do this," she closed her eyes, focusing on conjuring a psychic wave strong enough to push the horde of monsters away from her. When she opened them, ready to hit them... nothing happened.

"What?!" She yelled, back at Kano's office. "This time I did it. I faced the Opera memory and how things should have went. I embraced the fact I did horrible things too."

"There must be something else. Something you're refusing to face and let go."

Amy had no idea what it could be. At Kano's suggestion, they ended the training session for the day and she went back to the hotel to rest and reflect on what could be blocking her powers. After a long bath, she stared at the bed. The same bed she and Kamilah shared an intimate moment in the previous night, before she told her about her engagement with Aiko.

She finally turned on her phone. Iola had been trying to reach her all day.

"You need to return home, immediately. She has lost her mind."

"What is it this time?" Amy asked, getting dressed to meet Lily at the penthouse she lived with the rest of the group.

"She wants to-"

"Amy?!" Rheya seemed to have taken the phone from her daughter's hands. "I wanted to speak to you, darling. Are you finished with The Five yet? I need you to come home."

"Why?"

"I've signed a contract with a TV channel. Next week they'll begin to film our own reality show: 'The Apostolous'. Isn't it wonderful?"

No. It wasn't. Together with her insane ancestor and her family, Amy would be locked in the mansion with Priya, Serafine and Dracula, while every detail their daily routine was registered by the cameras and shown on television to the whole world.

"Rheya..." Amy sighed, thinking of some excuse. "Why don't you wait a few more days? I mean, a party with your new allies would be a great start for the reality show. Wouldn't it?"

"You're right," the First Vampire answered after a pause. "I don't know when you've gotten so smart, but you're having some good ideas lately. Anyways, I must start planning our party then. Talk to you later, darling."

Only a lot of alcohol could make Amy relax with all the latest news. When she arrived, Lily was still the only one in the penthouse. Jax, Adrian and Kamilah were doing some personal businesses.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Amy asked, taking a sip directly from the bottle of sake before aiming her next shot at the pool game.

"I was going to," Lily told, observing as she sank three balls in a row. "I couldn't imagine Kamilah would go straight to your bed in the very first night."

As Lily finished her own turn, Amy noticed she was about to win the game. However, she would never be able to make the right move with that one question bothering her mind.

"Does she love her? Aiko?"

"Do you want the honest truth? No, she doesn't. She only got in that sudden relationship with her to forget you. And if you ask me, I bet Aiko is forcing her to get married."

A hint of a smile appeared on the corners of Amy's mouth. She still had a chance. With the right shot, she could win Kamilah's heart back.

"I win," she grinned as she cued the last ball into the pocket.

"Best of three?" Lily asked, after taking a sip of the sake. "So, now tell me about Rheya going all Kardashian."

Amy rolled her eyes in annoyance. She was about to start talking about Rheya's reality show when the penthouse's door opened, making her heart speed up inside her chest.

"Oh," for her disappointment, it wasn't Kamilah. "Hey, Jax."

"Hello, Lily and..." he glared in her direction, clearly uncomfortable with her presence. "You."

"Jax, come here," Lily called, assuming some alcohol and games would be able to seal the peace between them. "Amy was about to tell me about Rheya's latest bullshit."

"Later, Lil. I gotta... I gotta take a shower. I was training with Akeyo all day."

As soon as he left to the bedroom, Amy sighed:

"He'll never forgive me."

Kamilah arrived right after she finished her sentence. She didn't say a word, she walked directly to the bar, serving herself some expensive whiskey.

"We're not allowed to bring visitors," she scolded Lily. "After five years you should know that."

"I asked Adrian first," Amy told in her defense. "He said I could..."

"Oh, Amy. Congratulations on your new show. It's all over the internet. You must be loving the attention, aren't you?"

"Thank you. By the way, for someone who doesn't care care you're way too updated about my life."

There was a heavy tension between them. Years of unresolved feelings and unsaid words were affecting the whole environment surrounding them, like an earthquake.

"I-I..." Noticing that, Lily started walking away too. "You two must have a lot to talk about. I'll be in my bedroom."

Amy still tried to prevent Lily from leaving, but it was useless. She was alone and under Kamilah's hard cold gaze.

"You shouldn't be here," the female vampire said once again.

"Why?" Amy decided to confront her. "My presence is bothering you?"

"Not really, but it put us at risk. She could come here any second searching for her spawn."

"She won't. Besides, I can fight her."

"Oh really? How's the training going by the way?"

"Good," Amy lied. "I'm... I'm finding myself. Finding a balance between my powers and the darkness they can bring."

As if she still could read her, Kamilah raised an eyebrow and opened a small sadistic smile. Was it so obvious she was failing miserably? Did Kano tell the others how poorly the training session had gone? She swallowed dry.

"About yesterday..." Amy opened her mouth to speak, changing the subject. She had to know how Kamilah felt about the other night.

"Nothing happened yesterday," Kamilah nodded.

Before she could speak again, Adrian emerged from the elevator.

"Amy, good to see you here," he wanted to show her something in a secret Raines Corporation HQ he had built. "Come with me."

She gave Kamilah one last look. It wasn't over. She wasn't going to give up and pretend nothing happened between them. She wasn't going to act like the feelings weren't still there, alive and strong as ever.

"What?" Adrian asked with a smile during their way to the building.

"Nothing," Amy smiled back. She had never been so happy to see him. That vision had struck her really hard. "I'm just glad you still trust me."

The building was highly secured. Adrian guided her to the laboratory in the basement. Some scientists were still working late night, on many different projects.

"Only a few people know about our secret weapon," Adrian told while he typed a password on a keypad, opening a heavy metal door. "Only us and The Five. After all, anyone else could have their minds accessed by Rheya."

After walking through a long corridor, they stopped in front of a glass. Behind it, Amy spotted a small growing tree.

"Is it..."

"The Tree Of Death. I managed to obtain a sample and grow a seedling from it. It's still small and young, its sap is not so poisonous. It won't cause much harm yet."

After Demetrius was brought back to life, the Tree Of Death and the island ceased to exist. With that, there was nothing that could stop Rheya. Until now.

"Adrian..." Amy remembered testing her powers, or when Rheya used to grow different plants and flowers in the backyard, according to the occasions. "I can make it grow faster with my powers."

[calypsoff]

Ninety Two. Part 4

That wife of mine is just a mess, that is the only words I have right now. Having to clean sick from a drunk woman or cleaning sick from a pregnant one, the pregnant one is better cause this stank so bad “god” I breathed out, seeing a shadow over me. Dragging my eyes up seeing a naked Robyn over me “now what?” I asked, I wonder what she is thinking right now because she’s been awful “you look nice naked but what is it?” I am here cleaning this shit, she is there just doing nothing “tired” nodding my head “the bed is there, go to sleep Robyn. I’m here it’s ok” Robyn draped her naked body over me, like that helps “come on now” getting up from my position and holding her “come, go to bed” turning her, Robyn giggled pushing her weight on me so I could fall back on the bed, Robyn laughed out as I did fall back on the bed and then climbed on me butt naked “why are you moody with me?” Shaking my head rubbing the side of my face “just please go to sleep” picking her off me and placing her to the side, getting up from the bed “come” turning to her and picking her up like a baby “Chris” she whined out, placing on the bed “mhmmm” she can whine all she wants but I rather she sleeps because she ain’t fully there and in a stupid mood “there we go all tucked in bed” leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead “love you” she needs to sleep it off “hold me!” She grabbed my hand, she really ain’t going to let me go “please” she whined out “I need to clean that mess, this room about to stink if not. I’ll be back” dragging my feet as I walked off, I am tired. Dealing with Rylee is easier than a grown adult, she is very needy too. I don’t mind it, she is having fun and she’s with me, not like she’s with her friends so it’s fine if she’s wasted like this.

I huffed out sitting down on the chair in the corner, I picked up Robyn’ clothing and hung them up, and the panties. I thought she lost them, but I found them, she needs to wear these when we leave. Looking over at Robyn asleep, I knew she would fall asleep. I predicted that, she played up at first of course but then fell asleep straight away. Tapping on Instagram, I wanted to post a picture earlier actually, but I will do it now. I took this in the bedroom before we left, tapping on the plus sign and then adding the picture I took. Adding a caption ‘Mean mugging like I’m ugly’ pressing post, going onto my tags. I always like seeing my tagged posts, they are always interesting to see. My eyes widened seeing all these picture of Robyn and I, oh these are messy. Tapping on the first one, the video played and it’s Robyn putting drink in my mouth from here, from that angle you can see she did that, honestly I thought she did that too but couldn’t confirm it. I have video evidence; oh this is nasty. I know they are going to be talking about the performance, backing out of the video. Seeing a picture of Robyn and I, I like that actually. I look in my zone and she has her arms around me, I look good. No wonder India was on me, I get it. Laughing to myself and reposting the post, adding a caption ‘The LOVE of my life’ pressing send, locking phone and looking over at the bed. This is painful, clenching my jaw and dragging my hand down to my crotch area, my hand it is for tonight, but I don’t mind it.

Frantically looking around the suite, Robyn is nowhere to be found. I just so happened to wake up, it’s still night but she is not here, her bag is here. Her clothes are gone too, I am just concerned she has done something stupid. She is drunk “hey, hi” waving the receptionist over “yes Mr Brown” here I am just going crazy right now because my girl is not here “look I might sound crazy but Rihanna, have you seen here come through here or leave the place” where the fuck could she have gone “she is in the bar sir” my eyebrows knitted together “what?” is she being real right now “she came down just an hour ago and is at the bar” that is crazy, running off from the reception “thank you” I shouted, the bar is open here and the music is playing but why and how did she get here, what the fuck is she playing at without telling me too. I breathed out seeing Robyn, she is here being the life of the party, how the hell did she find these people. Shaking my head as I made my way over to her, reaching over her “you have had enough” grabbing the drink, she didn't reek of alcohol, but I could easily smell her night of fun on her breath “my husband!” she spat “I want to have more Chris, stop it” she slurred out “huh” I scrunched my face up, I am there concerned as fuck and she is here but she won’t understand that “you heard me” she took a shot, a shot I don’t know where she got from “come here” I beckoned her but Robyn ain’t listening.

Following behind Robyn “Nope. I'm not drunk. I just feel gooood” She threw her hands in the air, shaking and gyrating her body to the rhythm of the beat of the music “you’re drunk Robyn please” I stated and watched her closely, waiting to see what her next move was. As long as we had been together, I had never actually seen Robyn this drunk before. So far, I find her to be a mess but funny too “Maybe I am drunk…” Robyn walked towards the bar again and fell back against it. Setting her cup on top of the bar, resting back on her elbows and shook her head, changing her mind “No, I'm not drunk…I'm just toasty…Or is it tipsy?” Her face fell into deep concentration as she tried to figure out which of the two she preferred “Toasty, tipsy. What does it matter? I'm not drunk though” Sliding back on top of the bar, she laid across the counter top. Stretching her legs out and turning on her side, she winked and smirked at me “get down, Robyn” I really want her to stop “it's my birthday” Robyn whined and rolled around, turning her back towards me “you're supposed to give me whatever I want” she stood up on top of the bar and began swaying her body back and forth. “Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl” she sung off-key, holding her drink up in the air and rolling her hips around “Robyn, get your drunk ass off the counter and let's go” I shook my head, but couldn't contain my laugh. I was definitely going to have plenty of stories to share come tomorrow.

Robyn laughed with me “I'm going to dance for Poppa, what is that song. I love it when you call me big poppa, he got a big dick that’s why he’s poppa. I love it when you call me big poppa” Robyn continued to sing. “Robyn” I said, rubbing my neck “ok, ok, ok I will get down” Robyn said childlike, she held her arms out. Helping Robyn down even though she got up there on her own “have a shot with me, then we go?” I sighed out “ain’t you drunk enough, these poor people having to watch you. These are classy people” I am shocked nobody is recording the shambles that is my wife, but it is an expensive hotel and it’s the rich here “shot for the road?” the guy behind the bar said “a long road for me, go on” shaking my head, I swear she is bad. I think I prefer the Robyn that is quiet and not being crazy like this, I can’t even front though. Robyn looks so sexy, even dancing on the bar she looks so sexy doing it, I think she knew it too.

Dragging Robyn back to the suite is actually a nightmare, she keeps stopping in the hallway, like she has now. Robyn gazed up to look me, Robyn’ eyes met mine and she touched her fingers against my cheek. She is hot, cupping my face in her hands, she pulled me towards her. Staring deep into my eyes, stumbling forward, I closed the small gap between our faces and pressed my lips to hers. Our kiss was sloppy, yet full of passion. We clung to each other, hungrily sucking on the other's tongue. Absorbing the alcohol that still lingered there. Our speed hastened as the world began to spin around us. My mind blurring and our need for each other taking over, overshadowing any other thought I possessed. My hands travelled across Robyn’ back until they reached her waist. Wrapping my hands around her midsection pushing her more against the wall, I then pulled her into me. Her dress riding up her thighs, exposing the length of her legs more when I nudged them apart with my knee. My fingers dipped below her dress and slid across her wet slit, earning a shudder and a whimper from her.

We fell into the suite, like literally fell into the suite. Dragging Robyn into the room, I didn’t want us end up being caught in the hallway. The door closed behind us, pulling her panties to the side, I pressed my fingers against her, and Robyn spread her legs further. Her own hands moved at a frenzy to rid of my overalls. Her fingers fumbled around with the buckles until she was able to unbuckle me. My overalls fell and she slipped her hands between the elastic band of my boxers and gripped my length. Moaning softly as she did, my tongue still pressed against her tonsils. Over dominating hers and swallowing each moan that gathered in her mouth. Robyn continued to massage my length, running her fingers over the veins that were pulsating out. Moving my pants out of her way, she tugged my underwear down far enough to pull out my member. Removing my fingers, I held her panties to the side and Robyn aligned the head of my dick to her opening. I could feel her heat beckoning me towards her. We stumbled backwards; our lips never left each other’s at all. We stumbled back against the mini bar in the suite, hearing the glass smash to the floor but not caring. Pressing her against the bar I finally positioned inside of her. We both broke away from each other lips and touched our foreheads together, her dress continued to ride up when I pushed her legs even further apart. Grabbing the nape of my neck she pulled me towards her and rocked her hips forward to the rhythm I set.

She felt so good around me, my forehead fell against her shoulder as I buried myself deep inside of her. Hiking her dress up further, I drove into her, thumping her back against the bar. Placing frantic kisses along the side of her neck, Robyn tossed her head to the side, her hair falling away from her neck, giving my lips more skin to touch. Inhaling deeply, Robyn slipped her hands underneath my shirt and her finger nails dug into my back. Her head flew back when I cupped her thighs and spread her legs wider, just before scooping her up and pushing into her even harder. Robyn’ body shuddered, and she clenched her eyes shut “fuck” I can feel my overalls and boxers gathered around my ankles, I am going to fall. Letting Robyn slowly down onto her feet, my dick standing to attention as I stepped out of my overalls and boxers. Taking my tee off, Robyn was already taking her dress off, now it makes me wonder. Is she actually fully drunk, now I am doubting that.

I climbed on top of the bed and pulled her towards me, turning so that my legs were spread across the length of the bed, Robyn straddled my lap facing me and pushed me back, she gripped the side of the bed and then carefully pressed her palms into my chest and rose her body up enough to position my length beneath her before sinking down on to me, feeling her inner muscles clenched around me and we both grunted out moans of satisfaction. Gripping her hips and thrusting myself forward, I laid back enjoying the feel of Robyn pulsing around me. Her soft grunts and moans were music to my ears to hear. Rocking her hips back and forth, my hands moved up her stomach, my fingers caressing her soft skin before moving further to cup her breast. Leaning forward and claiming one of her breasts in my mouth, sucking down on the pointed bud, I thrust inside of her with a vengeance, keeping up a steady rhythm going with Robyn.

I used my free hand to run down her back, tickling her spine, before cupping her ass and pulling her body towards me. Robyn locked her legs around my waist, arching her body towards me. We continued a perfect rhythm, with her legs wrapped around my body. Her hands gripping my ass, pushing me in deeper, urging me to move faster, to stroke faster. Running her fingers up the curve of my spine, her mouth fell open, forming a small O shape. Each pump, each stroke that I thrust into her caused her breath to hitch, her toes to curls, her temperature to rise and her body to tremble. Robyn cried out in ecstasy “fuck Chris!” Her warm core rippled around me, she rolled her head back and forth. My mouth on her neck, sucking and licking.

I feel shocking, it’s not even me that got drunk like that but I feel terrible. Rubbing my face as I made my way out to Robyn, she is sat on the balcony, I am sure she is sober now. It’s afternoon here too, that is crazy. Leaning down, kissing the top of Robyn’ head “oh” she looked up, catching her smoking. She is smoking, I dislike Robyn smoking, she took those from me “you good?” placing my hand atop of her head “you good?” I asked again, she is weary “oh yeah” she is rough “you sure?” moving back and sitting on the lounger “I don’t feel good, alive though” nodding my head “you sure you good?” I asked “yeah, did we have sex?” she doesn’t even remember “yeah we did” I chuckled “you don’t remember” she shook her head as she placed the cigarette between her lips “will we did baby, talk to me” she seems very deep in thought “I don’t want to go home” she said “you don’t? Why?” I am confused “I feel we haven’t had enough fun yet; I just want to be free. Drive to Vegas, have fun” licking my top lip staring at Robyn confused “but Rylee? We need to go back for her Robyn, what’s wrong? This isn’t you” she is rough “she has the best people with her Chris, I just know our parents would have her just fine, she wouldn’t have been ill. If you want to go back then go, she has you then” clasping my hands together sitting forward “what do you want to do?” I asked, she is being off “we drive to Vegas, Rylee will be fine” I paused not knowing what to say but she wants to go “ok” I just agreed “I need to get clothes” Robyn nodded her head, she is so off.

I came back to the house; I mean we have no clothes and also I smell like sex right now “where is my daughter Chris?” I knew this was going to happen “hey guys, I just come to get some clothes” I waved laughing nervously “eh! Come here” Monica said, Robyn did say not to come but I did so here we are “Christopher, Monica wants you” I sighed out “yes?” I answered, “where is my daughter” that is a good question, the woman that doesn’t want to come home “I think..” I dragged out “she needs some time alone; I think things are getting on top of her. I don’t know honestly, I just come to get some clothes and explain, well ask if you can take care of Rylee. I don’t know, women. They switch, one minute we are having fun and the next she just doesn’t want to come back, I am sorry. I can’t say, my wife said so I obey” Noella just stared at me “I want her home Chris” I was going to speak but Noella did “auntie, let her have space. Let them have space, they need it” Noella took up for me and I appreciate it “have fun” she smiled at me, I am for one just confused right now with everything because we was having fun one minute.

[penny-beee]

You’ll Never Be My Equal

Summary.

Circe the Goddess of Sorcery had grown to the Loki - he was everything she used to be. After the battle of New York, maybe a spark starts to emit?

Disclaimer.

This is the prologue so this is all during the New York battle.

Word Count.

1982k

——

Alone, I sat peacefully in my castle just as I did every night. I had grown tired of my lonesome island - no longer forced or banished I’d occasionally make my way to near by countries and walk around. Examine the people that had taken over Earth - so sensitive and weak they were. I rubbed my forehead vigorously to belittle the new coming headache. No such luck - I sauntered over to my bed chambers. The enormous stack of pillows and blankets engulfing my slender body - I breathed in fully - letting the warmth hug me.

I awoke abruptly, jumping from where I laid. I could feel the fading familiarity of a presence radiate through my body. Someone was here, in the castle. I swung my feet over the edge of my bed and stood gracefully. My hands rested besides my hips - waiting for someone to come around the corner.

The smell of fresh dew filled my nostrils - Gaia. The mother of all life, the mother of Earth. Gaia slowly made her way in front of my face, she exuded a fresh and warming energy. Her smile always bringing joy to myself.

“Gaia, so lovely to see you.” I gushed, wrapping my arms around my great grandmother.

“Hello, Circe - I see you’ve been busy.” She chuckles as she gazes over at my messy enchantment table.

“If I grow rusty I can’t assist you or Zeus.”

“I am glad to see you’re still practicing and growing, I on the other hand have grown weary and need your help.” My grandmother paused on her words as she paced slowly around my chambers; head hung low. “I fear we will have an attack soon - I can hear the whispers, the air is changing. I want to send you and Athena to where my suspicions lie but I fear for now you will have to do this on your own.” Her voice was heavy - I could read from the atmosphere she was afraid for her home.

“When do you need me to leave?”

“Right now, New York City, New York. Stark Tower.”

I placed my hand gently on her shoulder, giving her a welcomed smile. “I’ll get ready and be out before Zeus can say lightning.”

With that, Gaia vanished - a few yellow daisies falling onto the spot where she stood. A part of me was excited - the first real reason to leave the castle in about 90 years. Another part of me was in anguish at my grandmothers heavy heart - she of course struggled before. The last time she called upon me was when Hitler was around - Athena, Nike, Hercules and myself to save the planet from total destruction.

I sighed, running a hand through my brown locks. I slipped into my navy blue peplos and flipped my leather wrist guards and sandals onto my body. Athena always showed up in the most heavily dressed armor - I’d sniffle at her as she’d oddly struggle at times to move around. I on the other hand dressed light, unlike other peplos mine was chiffon. The navy blue fabric only cinched at my waist and flowed around my legs - helping allude of a bigger frame. Hand to hand combat meant lots of large movements - meaning a larger dress was preferable. My hair was always kept down and long to protect my neck and head - feet bare in the old times but as humans grew more disgusting I now adorned leather sandals.

A cheeky smile crept onto my face as I remembered my old crown - bestowed after the Battle of the Americas. Zeus mended a crown of Vibranium for me, a gift for my newfound bravery and loyalty to him. I placed the intricate award on my head. Oh the rush before conjuring magic never grew old - as if an old friend had visited me. Circling my hands slowly in front of my body I swung them apart and slipped into the cracks of the realms. In a split second I was at the given location.

A man made of metal fell from the sky - landing on a circular pad. As his face uncovered, he was older - perfectly manicured facial hair and crows feet around his eyes. Stepping from the darkness - I made my presence known. His now average clothed body jumping at the sound of my feet. His eyes narrowed curiously.

“Who are you and why are you on my patio?” He questioned inquisitively.

“I am Circe, Goddess of Sorcery. I was sent here by Gaia to help save the planet.” My voice boomed as I stepped closer to the tiny human. My figure taller for the intimidation.

“Circe.. Circe. Where have I heard that name?” He paused, scratching his beard. “Oh! You’re a Greek goddess!” He eyes were unreadable - he wasn’t excited but he wasn’t upset. “The mythological Norse Gods are real so of course the ancient Greek Gods are as well. Doy.” He slightly slapped his forehead in disbelief.

“I got word of a threat coming to New York to destroy the planet. I am here to help. Athena was unable to join us.”

“What about Zeus? The bug guy available?” He laughed at his joke - a small rage boiling inside of my stomach.

In a split second I was towering over him - my body now a few feet taller than before. I held my staff tightly in my palm. “Don’t ever mock Zeus, again. If anything we can watch you all burn.” I spat.

“You don’t get out much, do you?” He waved his head from side to side in disbelief as he made his way inside of the shiny tower.

“Pep. We have a visitor.” He called out to the woman sitting at the black leather couch.

The room was enormous - vastly different from what I’d grown to love at home.

“We have two then, Coulson is coming up.” This ‘Pep’ spoke, she stood her body up and walked over to my now “average” sized one. “Nice to meet you, I’m Pepper Potts. You are?”

“I am Circe - Goddess of Sorcery. Daughter of Hecate.” I informed - her eyes grew as she realized. This was going to grow old fast.

The world wasn't ever going to be ready for mass destruction - it wasn’t a thousand years ago and it wasn’t now. Gaia knew that - she of all people wasn’t going to let go of her beloved world, even if they spat at her. I had met about everyone on the “team” as they called it - every introduction earning large eyes and an awkward silence. Fury was the most surprised out of them all - he stayed silent the longest.

Banner was alerted and got a hit on this ‘Loki’ in Germany - once again I had to save the country from a man that saw himself above everyone else. Ironic as my beloved friend Zeus was the same way. Rogers spoke up to volunteer to bring Loki in. We made our way to the city in Germany - the commotion had already begun. Loki was standing above a crowd of innocent faces - an elderly man was the last to kneel - speaking words of wisdom to the fallen Asgardian.

Rogers threw his shield at the puny god causing him to topple at the sudden impact. The crowd scattered away to safety. The two fought vigorously for a few moments as I waited in the shadows. Stark had originally planned to make an entrance if things went dark - but I offered to prove my loyalty just as I had for Zeus and Athena all those years before. As Rogers fell to the ground, I stepped out of the shadows. My staff in my palm tightly as I stomped entrancingly towards the men. A smirk grew on the tricksters face - unknowing of who he’d have to deal with.

“And who is this newbie?” His voice was rough and edged - he was cocky.

Again I had to introduce myself. “I am Circe, Goddess of Sorcery. Daughter of Hecate.” My voice boomed as my height grew. In a matter of seconds I was a tower over the small god.

“Circe. As in villain turned Olympian? You all had fallen?” He dropped the scepter and two daggers flew from his hands - his cocky grin once again appearing on his pale face. “Never mind that.”

His body lunged at mine, but as soon as he came into a close range my hand flickered up and threw a wall in front of his figure. He was stuck - his fists pounded at the shield. I shut my hand into a fist - a smirk now growing on my own face as the shield wrapped around his body tightly. The thought of turning him into a creature crossed my mind - but I had recovered from my old and cruel ways. I shrunk back down and carried him over to the jet. He had no chance.

The metal bird held us up in the sky, I sat across from Loki. His gaze bore into my soul as he thought. His eyes furrowed - lips tight, as if he was trying to connect the dots.

“Who sent you, we thought the Olympians were fallen.” He questioned, he was confused.

“Gaia - or as the humans would call her Mother Earth. She fears your path will destroy her.” I stood and gazed down on the man. “To us, you’re just a man. You’ve already lost Loki.” A jolt to the jet startled the crew.

Lightning broke and cackled through the night sky - Thor or Zeus had a temper tonight. Tony peered over at Loki.

“What’s the matter, afraid of a little lightning?” He chortled.

“I’m not too fond of what comes after.” Loki admitted.

A sudden crash erupted from the ceiling, someone was on the roof. The jets loading door flew open, a man - an old friend - Thor landing. The wind thrusted around, the mortals growing uneasy. Thor came to grab Loki - before I could manage to stop Thor they were gone. Tony gave me a ‘what just happened’ look before I vanished.

The realm allowed me to slip right between the two ‘Gods’ my dagger at Thor’s throat. “He’s ours.” I threatened, the sharp weapon almost piercing his skin.

“Loki will pay for his crimes on Asgard, witch.” His voice cold.

“I am no witch.”

“I wouldn’t taunt her if I were you.” Loki spoke up to protect his brother.

My eyes narrowed as I shoved Thor back. His hammer crashing down to wack me, I reached up and held it tightly. A look of awe and worry. I trickled my hands up to his temples - his bright blues rolling back as I casted his soul into a dream. Beer and mead satisfied his burdened heart. He was tired - struggling with the needs of the throne. As I searched his emotions and heart - he was good. Worthy. I pulled him out of it and stepped back from him.

His eyes glazed over as he came to be. “Circe? We thought you all had fallen.” His tone was hushed. “I had come to protect Earth because of the stories of the Olympian’s falling.”

I nodded, gluing Loki to where he was sitting so I could have a word with his brother. “We had vanished for almost a hundred years - we never fell. Zeus ordered us to go home after Germany. He has grown tired of the fighting - he’s growing tired of the immortality. The reason I’m here is because of Gaia not Zeus. She’s afraid your brother will destroy the Earth if we don’t stop him.” I confessed - Thor had been help to Athena many years ago. In all honesty I had a small trust in him. He was so similar to Athena and always loyal when we needed him - how could I not? “It’s been a long time, old friend.”

“I see, well let’s get Loki to Fury then.” A surprising agreement from him.

[tes-trash-blog]

Day 5: Poison

The Dwarves kept their cells hot, humid, unbearable. They kept the cells crowded, filled with misery. Men did not weep, but here they did, and it was painful to watch. The magnesium lights were a poor substitute for the warmth and light of the sun, of Auri-El’s embrace.

Arevus missed that embrace of the sun, of the blackbird, but they took both away. The Dwarves separated the men from the women for reasons he dared to dwell on. The thought made him sick though he did not know why. He did not think often anymore. The ohtar (“Only ohtar,” she said when he asked for a name) often said he was unburdened by thought, all the best for they would only age him, mar him. This was before the Two Year Night, before their hope became broken in that endless dark. Before they took him, his tongue, that which he could not remember anymore, but surely something else happened. He felt sick again. The sickness did not recede until the door to the crowded cell opened, and the pallid ones spoke behind their brass masks. He knew little in the way of Dwemeri, but he knew enough to understand it was his time as well as two others. The other men did nothing; most did not even look his way and give a silent goodbye. Arevus and the rest held out against hunger, against pain and torment, all of it. Anything to keep their sight, their most sacred sight..

Arevus put up a struggle, but if he was honest with himself the will was gone. He was weak, and so tired, and he missed his friends, most of all the ohtar. She adopted a name, this he knew as much, named by the Prince who she swore herself to, but for the life of him he could not remember. Tears fell and he did not have the decency to hide them. 

He and the other sacrifices were not dragged but carried, by stretcher and by fabricant spider. The brass things frightened him, as no sacred creation should lack the will to breathe, but against divine will they existed all the same. The heretical Dwarves paid him no mind as they guided the transport. Arevus did not move; even if his strength magically returned, he could not move due to the restraints about his wrists and ankles. A band was placed over his mouth to keep him from crying out, another about the forehead to keep him from staring at anything other than the tall ceiling of Blackreach. He could not hear the whirr of their machines or the gossip of the Dwarves, not even sounds of the spiders underneath him. The pit in his stomach darkened, densed into a ball that threatened to drop out from inside him. His tears flowed openly. He was afraid. Auri-El spare him the shame, he was afraid of what would happen next. Please, he begged silently, I cannot do this again, I cannot bear it, please..

But what was it he could not bear? The transport stopped. Arevus moaned, not that he meant to, but surely they would hear his pain and let him go. But the Drawrves were not Mer who listened well, and so he went ignored. The others behind him remained silent, defeated, resigned to what was to come as they were carried inside.

This room was lit brightly, as close to the sun as Arevus felt in the days underground, and the air was tinged with a strange scent. The air was not what it was above, but it calmed him all the same. It was narrow but somehow spacious, and he realized what it was: it was the light, and the silence, and the air that was not already breathed by another. He had forgotten what it was to be in a place that was not crowded, and dark, and tugged at his mind and made him feel that pit in his stomach. Here the feeling was nearly gone. If the binds were not about him, surely he would float away. That would be nice, he thought as the transport moved once more. He was dimly aware that his was the only one in motion. To float out, and be gone from here..

He lost himself in his daydream. When Arevus finally returned to reality the binds were gone, all of them, and he was free. Arevus cried out joyously, praise Auri-El, he was heard, and now he merely needed to stand up, find a way out..

“This must be a welcome change of scenery,” someone said in an accented voice. Arevus turned in surprise to find a stout Dwarf standing in front of the tall brass door. He was accompanied with a Dwarf who did not yet have the first rings in his beard; a box was in his hands. Arevus made to answer before the Dwarf lifted a halting hand. “I am familiar with your case. I know your tongue is missing, and I am afraid I do not know your.. Language of hand signs.

“First, I must provide an explanation. With the sudden influx of refugees, we quickly ran out of accommodations for you and yours. I ask you to excuse this.” He did not wait for Arevus before continuing. “I accept. Secondly, your leadership, or rather what remained, accepted certain terms. You have been briefed on these terms. You know what awaits you, but I am here to provide additional context.:

He paused for a moment and closed his eyes. As if he heard some command Arevus did not, the assistant opened the box. Immediately the air was perfumed with sweetness, something between the snowberries he dearly missed and honey.

Arevus’ stomach growled. He had not eaten in so long, and he had forgotten what it was to be hungry. He gave in to temptation and looked at what it was that enticed him. It was shaped like an apple that the people of fallen Fal-Creathine grew, but it was soft and grey. But it smelled so good..

“You are no doubt hungry,” said the Dwarf. Arevus found it hard to focus. “Your culinary needs are strange to us, but we have found something to suit your palate.” He closed his eyes once more and the apprentice split open the fruit. He didn’t need a knife; the flesh yielded willingly, and the sweet aroma filled the air, and Arevus’ hunger only grew.

The Dwarves were unaffected. The elder continued. “I understand that you and yours have.. Suffered. This shall remove those burdens, those pains.”

Arevus had already forgotten much of his suffering. All the healers had done was place a blockade that made him sick.

“Do you understand me?”

Arevus nodded. The Dwarf smiled. It was a strange thing to see a Dwarf smile. Arevus thought it looked wrong. He made to ask a question before remembering that none knew his sign language. The Dwarf seemed to understand all the same.

“Fear not. Your friends shall join you soon enough,” he said gently. He took the split fruit from his apprentice and extended a hand to Arevus. “Now won’t you eat?”

He accepted. The flesh of the fruit was just as sweet at it smelled, lighter than air but filled him like a full coursed meal. Hunger was a distant memory upon finishing the first half, and distant memories were like distant clouds with the next, and the pit in him subsided completely. The Dwarf was happy, which was rare for a pallid one, and without a word his apprentice escorted him outside.

There were warm rooms now, filled with people Arevus was fond of. They were as content as he, and free of thoughts of pain, of darkness, of things he could not remember. He no longer saw unhappy faces or eyes filled with tears.

Arevus didn’t see at all anymore, and he didn’t mind at all.

[lighterandpaper]

Detritus to Die in

Photo by @schoeneheimat

Laurie wakes up to the gentle tickle of waves on her cheek, on her back and washed up on shore. She coughs and sputters, “Ow,” she says, gently touching her side, which is probably blue. 

She grunts up to her feet, moaning with each little movement. The muddy sand pulls at her feet, and she stumbles toward the massive trees, which are about a hundred feet away. When she finally gets to a root, blueish gray like stone, she sits and begins tugging her clothes off. She wails as she pulls off her shirt, pants, and is crying by the time she gets to her shoes. She lays everything out on roots to dry, hands shaking. The sun is setting and the wind puffs from time to time, making her clutch herself and shake. Along her right side is a mark already turning deep purple under her skin. She fingers it lightly, “Oh no...” she says, flinching at a poke, a few ribs are probably broken. She curls herself up into the fetal position, finding a nook in the root system that isn’t too painful. 

“I’m going to die...” she whispers to herself. Her mom had taken pictures of her before prom. “Get closer to him!” she said, gesturing for her to embrace the nervous boy. She had taken her to space camp, dropping her off in their Mazda. “Be good, Lou!” she said. “Call me if you want me to pick you up. I’m only two hours away.” Laurie smiles and laughs a little. She did end up calling her. Did Joel make it to her? The idea of her dying alone makes her face clench tight. A tear falls on the alien bark. “Never expected a naked alien ape to cry on you, did you?” she asks the tree. 

The twilight grows more and more dreamy, and there is no hope of another ray of sun to dry her clothes, just the gusts of hopeless wind. The stars bloom into sight as the last of the day fades. Laurie sees them right from where she lies naked in the embrace of the tree. She tried LSD once during undergrad, and someone kept saying that everything is connected; she pretended to be experiencing that, too. The colors and patterns of reality breathed and did strange things, but she couldn’t see exactly how that added up to grand unity. Dying on a world thousands of light years from where she was born somehow made that idea click for her. If she stopped breathing here, if her form no longer fought for life, she would just dissolve into everything else; into this planet and eventually the stars again--all of it the same shit. “That’s alright...” she muttered. 

When her eyes open to see the sun again, it’s a pleasant surprise. The strange creatures of the planet make their little sounds as the pale dawn rises. Laurie lifts her painful body and throbbing head out of the nook, which she can feel kept her warm and protected from the wind during the night, and likely saved her life. She stands on shaking legs and checks her side: horrible. She puts a hand on her shirt: somewhat dry. At a moaning and labored pace, she dresses herself. 

She takes her first survey of the land as the sun is bright enough now to see normally, and can see that the cliff is much lower here than where she fell. No telling how long she floated in the river before it deposited her here. She begins trudging upstream along the muddy bank, which is much wider, along with the river, here than where they crossed. The water runs more deeply. 

Stopping occasionally to drink from the river, she falls into a groove. The cliff to her right gradually grows taller, the river thinner, and the bank more solid and easy to navigate. Her body aches, but it fades into a manageable hum rather than an urgent pain. 

When the sun lingers in the middle of the sky, drying the last bits of moisture from her clothes, and she is starving, she stops, puts her hands on her hips and surveys her surroundings. Walking any farther would just be a guess, and this was as good a place as any to...

“What am I going to do?” she mutters. What would she do if she limped back to camp? Go back to work with the other Lauries? Fal had a bag of something heavy. Something that Queen Laurie wanted. Laurie turns to the trees, their darkness total only a little ways in. 

She takes a deep breath, checks the sun one last time, and limps into the forest. The relief from the sun makes her skin tingle, but she knows it will turn cold before long. She walks blindly for a while, nearly tripping and bumping into roots and trees, before her eyes adjust to the low light. She marches and marches, no particular direction, eyes straining for a greenish-blue glow. 

Her panic slowly increases at the day wears on, and she only finds endless rows of the massive trees. Would the reaper find her now that she had come back so close to the village? George said they could smell clones from miles away. 

Another day is nearly gone, and she hasn’t eaten or rested. She drops to the forest floor. What are the chances that she will find a reaper’s nest again? It could be merciful if Sheila would just find her soon and get this all over with. It’s not like she’s the only Laurie in the world, anyway. She does not need to want to live so badly. It must be OK to just lay here; to just be one with everything. She strains to reproduce that experience from the trees last night, but it doesn’t work anymore. She cries. 

She allows herself to cry harder than she can ever remember crying, wailing in the dark forest, almost hoping that someone or something will hear her. 

“Hello?” says a male voice from nearby. 

Laurie stops instantly and jolt up to her elbow. She listens. 

“Is someone there?” says the voice. 

Laurie will not believe it. “Henry?” 

Footsteps come toward her now. Laurie pushes herself to a seat. “Who is that?” 

A figure appears. For a moment, she is sure it must be Henry. “Mom?” 

Laurie blinks at the figure and watches it change with her expectations. “Jon...” she says. 

“Is that really you? What are you doing here?” 

She stands. “What are you doing here?” 

“None of you came back, so I came looking for you,” he says. 

Laurie approaches him and inspects his face. A little older, sandy blonde hair turned more brown, but she can see Henry’s silver eyes, even in the dim. She hugs him. “I’m so glad you’re safe.” 

“You too, mom,” he says. 

She takes a step back. “Anna and Tina don’t know about this...?” 

Jon tries to hide his face. “No, I snuck out.” 

“That’s OK, I’m not mad,” Laurie says quickly. 

Jon inspects her. “You’re hurt...” he says. “Where’s Dad?” 

“He’s OK!” she says. “I’m OK. Well, I’ve been better, but, it’s a long story, son.” 

“What are you doing out here?”

She puts her fingers across her mouth. “I’m looking for something. To help save your dad, and Fate, and everyone... and a sister you don’t know about...” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“It’s a very long story, son,” she repeats. 

He almost presses, but sees how tired she looks. He takes off his backpack and unzips it to find a granola bar. 

“Thank you, son,” she says, eating it like a chimp.

“What are you looking for, then?” he ventures. 

“A greenish-blue glow.” 

“Like the one over here?” he says, pointing. 

She blinks at him. “How far?” 

“Like, I don’t know, a hundred feet,” he says. “I was about to check it out when I heard you crying. Why?” 

Laurie looks at her feet, the disturbed bit of detritus where she nearly decided to die, only a hundred feet away from the nest. She laughs until she snorts. 

“What?” Jon says, smiling and chuckling. 

Laurie laughs harder, and Jon can’t help but laugh too. 

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I haven't read anything from you for some days. How are you? :)

I appreciate you asking, and I know I haven’t been my usual rambling self on here. I’m alright, but just haven’t had the zip for writing. Three reasons really.

1) Busy!- Yeah, what else is new! LOL That new section of tree falling on Mom’s house, the lock on that house breaking, the fact I hadn’t cut the brush under the powerline to this house in a year and now vines had nearly reached it, trying to figure out the computer problems so I can get new pics off my camera, protecting the cats from a mysterious something that literally tore apart one of them, etc (you REALLY don’t want me listing it all) had me constantly working on “things” on top of all the previous “things” that were still being worked on. 

Yesterday I had worn myself so down that when I took my ankle braces off I found myself unconsciously doung this thing I do when I’m really hurting of walking on the sides of my feet. It hurts less BUT it isn’t as stable, so what happened? I stumbled walking the plank into my room! Oh, I bounce well and didn’t fal into the “pit of despair” so I wasn’t injured at all by the fall, but it is a sign of how tired I was. AND I still had to go cook my meal! LOL 

2) Lack of sleep!- Again, it sounds like “What else is new?” But actually my sleeping has gotten worse. The causes vary from night to night. Sometimes worries, sometimes breathing problems, sometimes I have a very hard time getting myself to go to bed, sometimes it’s itchy poison ivy and bug bites, sometimes it’s “This damn bed refuses to cozy tonight!”... but whatever, not falling asleep until 3am, waking up again at 5am, lying awake until 9am, and then sleeping again until noon isn’t fun.

So I’m been trying to not write when I’m wanting to be asleep. This means no more insomnia writing (though I have a few still in drafts before I stopped letting myself do it) and no more writing just before bed.  Also I’ve been tired enough that stringing words together sounds exhausting! LOL

3) Mood- Umm...how should I put this? “I am sick of the human race”? “The stupidity of people drains me”? “Every day, maybe even more during all these supposedly encouraging all-in-this-together pandemic posts, I am become more aware of just how outside of society I already am”? I dunno.

To be honest, that’s a whole post in itself. I’ll give you the gist..

All my life I’ve realized my brain is wired oddly, that I see things different that others, and that even my life is highly atypical. I used to think one day I’d discover a place, or at least people, where I belong. For the last few years I’ve been working to accept the fact I actually fit nowhere and that this is okay. 

My key method of coping with this has always been to assume that people are smarter than they seem and always capable of so much more. Lack of perception was a lack of looking, of being distracted. Lack of understanding was simply not having the information broken down in basic and relatable ways.

 It wasn’t discounting my differences, but seeing them as just a minor thing. Yes I notice things that others don’t, spot the patterns, can tell you the shock twist ending of a movie 20min in...but so what. I see things differently, but you can say the same about literal sight. Just give them some metaphorical glasses and they could see like me...

Not that anyone wants to, just that they could.

 Who would want to always be the one the one that when it’s said “everyone thinks” or “everyone feels” or “everyone knows” has to go “Um, well, I don’t”. 

The weird one. 

The odd one. 

The strange one. 

The one that sees everything in shadings and nuances  when the world expects binary answers.

The action hero takes of pf the bookish girl’s glasses and says “Why Miss Jones, you’re beautiful!” She’s blind as a bat, but she never wears the glasses again because now she’s won the hunk, and being alone was really no fun.

People weren’t stupid, they just had the sense to belong instead. 

But now it’s “You know what? Most people, even “smart” ones, are fuckin’ stupid! And if I really am usually smart, resourceful, etc, then that’s the most terrifying thing imaginable!”

No really. Over my life people have commented about me being smart, resourceful, honest, kind, sweet (geez, really?), insightful, and so many things that sound lovely but have a disturbing element. I assumed I wasn’t being exceptional when these things were said, but only doing whatever was in my nature. If these things are considered notable and praiseworthy in me, does mean most people can’t even meet the low bar I’m easily stepping over?

Put simply, if I am smart, them just HOW stupid are most people? 

And recently it’s gotten to where everywhere I turn I see it. Misinformation and pseudo science, missing the point right in front of them, not seeing or understanding the other, assuming without any facts, all absolutes and rage...

I mean, the human race is facing a pandemic and they still can’t fucking work TOGETHER! That’s the best example of the collective stupidity of the human race since...oh, climate change which we’ve done such a GREAT job in dealing with.

Look, Trumpland obviously is a factor, but even in attempts at escapism I get slammed into it. I almost never to get to go “ YES! That’s it! That’s how I feel/think/live (delete as applicable)!” When I do the fandoms tend to insist I am wrong in my own personal take, not just “well, I see it differently, but cool you do” but “you are WRONG, I will prove my version is canon so you have to stop liking it that way!”. There is no place for me in fandoms either.

Recently I’ve begun to get really irritated and fed up. 

I mean, growing up I used to beg to know “Why can’t they see???” when something was blindingly obvious to me that no one seemed to get. Back then I turned it on myself. How could I get them to see? I’d cry because they would constantly let me know I wasn’t like them. I had several people calling me their best friend despite the fact they didn’t understand me at all. Everybody is different, just some of us are more different. It didn’t make me angry at them, just made me wonder what was wrong with me.

But now I find myself getting angry out of proportion to the trigger. 

Take a this from a few months back. I heard a guy in a podcast, in relation to some movie, saying that if faced with god they would never dare be critical of any horrors of the world because you never disagree with god to it’s face. But he wasn’t just speaking for himself but said no one would. I got angry, really, REALLY angry, because you know what you do when faced with an unjust and cruel god? You fuckin’ spit in their eye! You don’t yield to monsterousness because the monster is powerful, you fight back! You blow up the goddamn death star (repeatedly if necessary)! 

I didn’t get angry because he was saying he was a coward or because he pragmatically would sacrifice morality for survival. I wasn’t even angry because that’s the kind of thinking that lets dicators and bullies hold power. I was angry because he assumed everyone would agree with him and that people like me don’t exist.

I do exist. 

I know my reactions and views are frequently atypical. I know I notice things others don’t. I know my lifestyle is peculiar.  I know I don’t really fit anywhere and never will. My brain is just wired up in a rather strange way.

 I know everything that makes me odd, but I just don’t like having to constantly be reminded.

But right now I am reminded every time I look at or listen to anything. Yes, even posts on Tumblr. 

Frankly, the human race breaks by heart. 

I end up angry, sad, lonely and intensely frustrated. I kinda want to avoid writing in this mood. (Which I obviously just did! LOL)

Sorry I rambled so much. Guess I made up for a lack of posting with this rant! LOL

[ofclaude]

vent post   under a readmore instead of in the tags bc i !! need to vent !!! & the point of not typing in the post is to be less in your face but this is gonna be a Lot probably lmao

i just. wish i had people around me who i actually care about & who care about me instead of them all being countries away. i live here in this place that helps me recover from trauma & integrate blahblahblah &...like.

they are literally paid to pet my head & call me sweet & go aww really :(( that sucks! & tell me the world’d be worse off without me. & it just fucking. it always gets to me. how is it supposed to not??? i want to be cared about the reason i’m suicidal is because no-one i’ve lived around ever gave a shit about me except 2 primary school teachers & one friend in high-school. people have been paid to pretend to care about me since i was born because me dying was more scandalous than paying a stranger to therapy the neglect away !!

i’m so tired. i’m so, so tired & i can’t anymore. oh, i will. i always fucking do !!! i always fucking do!! and i hate that!! because it’s never. i. ugh. i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tierd i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tried i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired

i went to talk to my father & he !! doesn’t even remember !!! telling me to go live on the street & die in a village where i was the freak when i was 6 years fucking old because he was just qangry & well he got it off his chest didn’t he !! I FUCKING CAN’T IT’S CALLED C-PTSD FUCK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE he was a grown-ass man lashing out in a violent rage at his own goddamn child & NO-ONE. NO-ONE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING WHEN THEY DO THAT. YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WHEN YOU DO THAT, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU FORGOT ABOUT IT!! YOU’RE STILL THE ASSHOLE WHO MADE ME SUICIDAL & MADE IT SO I KNOW I’M WORTHLESS, I KNOW NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY, I KNOW NOTHING WILL EVERY CHANGE THIS

& that was just one, tiny lil interaction out of 24 years of that shit. 24 years !! how am i supposed to just. work thru all of that shit without getting tired of it; yaddahyaddah make ya life better IF UCKING KNOW. HOW ABOUT NOT MAKING ME WORK FOR SMTH I NEVER CHOSE & DON’T WANT ANYMORE, HOW ABOUT DOING SOMETHING ABOU TTHE SCUMBAGS WHO GET TO JUST ‘GET BETTER’ AFTER the only reason they’re not responsible for my death is bc i got real fucking lucky. i’ve got massive endurance & i got lucky as hell. & it wouldn’t have mattered bc THEN I WOULD’VE BEEN DEAD, HUH?!?!? NO-ONE CARES! no-one does anything, & i’m sick of it. they get to kill me, but fuck forbid i do something abou tthem.

& blah that’s all feelings & trauma blah it’s not true i fucking know it’s not true. nothing’s true or fals #nihilism. doesn’t matter that’s not the point. i can do endless therapy, i can have people pet my head all day, i can talk myself out of this & that attempt because i know it won’t change anything. but i can’t change that this lives in me. it’s been years since i cut ties. he’s changed. i’ve changed, else i wouldn’t have cut ties in the first place but ok.

i still don’t want him. i still don’t like him. part of me still cries & hates me for taking my own daddy away from me!! even tho he’s the aggressive bastard who makes me want to fucking take my own life hellloooooo !?!?!? i have to put up with this shit. because i choose to live, but i didn’t get to choose what motherfuckers i was born with - not that my mother didn’t try to teach me otherwise tho !!! it’s all ur own choice uwu u made this call u wanted me for a parent !!!! except i loved myself unlike you bitches so no i did not but go off !! in ur fantasyland

it’s been 3 fucking years & i’ve done so much & i actually got myself a will to live last years. & it’s like. yay it’s better now :))))) no. it’s not. there are better things also. this is not better. it won’t get better, because there is nothing to change. & since it’s ptsd, i can’t forget either. blahblah lessen the impact IF UCKING KNOW I DO THERAPY I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS! BUT IT DOESN’T CHANG ETHE FACT MY OWN PARENTS THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO TEACH ME TO HATE MYSELF & THAT THE WHOLE WORLD COULD ONLY EVER HATE ME BUT I WASN’T ALLOWED TO DIE!! OR MAKE A SCENE !! THAT’D LOOK BAD HUH?? me, the village freak. diagnosed with autism cuz they traumatised me so bad it looked the goddamn same but fuck forbid ANYONE. EVER. talk to my parents !! noooo no i was the one that needed fixing. except they did that wrong too my fucking god does it never end.

i’m tired. i’m tired of living with the pieces of somebody else’s mistakes. i’m tired of being afraid of pushing away the only people i have who i do care about & who care about me, just by asking them to care about the parts of me that’ll never get better. i’m sick of hiding how tired i am. i’m sick of having to be normal & happy & good enough by all those rules that don’t belong to me just to not be as terrified of being neglected again - except this time by people who don’t owe me shit.

i always deal with everything. & i’m tired of it. i’m so, so fucking tired. i know. i know it can get better. i know i can find ways. i know. i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i KNOW. that doesn’t make it okay.

i wish it did, but it never does.

& since :))) i’m afraid of running off my friends by asking directly i’ll just ;)) vent :))) here ;)))

what do you even say to the ppl who actually care about you anyway like lmao what a joke. the better i get the more room i have to conform to being normal - & idc about how other ppl like it, i mean. bad normal. social skills apparently only mean ways, not truth. i was never taught social skills so i communicated directly, which is super good & ppl these days need to be taught that?? so much????????? but no i was awkward & didn’t have social skills. fuck you, ppl raised from the get-go with social skills are the WORST at being social bc they never had to learn another person’s language or the desperation that comes with the language barriers no-one will explain to you. i’m so tired. i’m so tired of jumping thru hoops just to  what???? get ppl to care??? get smn to care about????????? & then what. jump thru hoops some more bc now u have smn who doesn’t get u unless u filter out who you are & are left with nothing.

it’s so important to be me but the better i get the less i can do that & that’s what killed me so i gues we’re back at square one !!! let’s go back to therapy & pretend i need that when i already know how to work shit. let’s pay another person to pet my head & give me an hour of their time to vent, just because i don’t have to be afraid they’ll run. jesus christ. if i can’t be me i won’t do it. but idek if i can force myself to bemyself anymore & that’s fucking scary. learning social skills after a lifetime of being shunned just makes me more equipped to go with my terrible coping skills, which is to nix myself & just. be normal be normal be normal be normal bne nomral bne mrf oamlf be nomral. i’m tired.

& blah if u wanna post it on tumblr u gotta go on ur personal uwu ur rp blog is a vending machine no personal shit !! how dare u have a personal life that Exists lmao

[spiridakos]

“ you are the love of my life. ” for falliam also thank you for feeding us with content bless you ❤

Happy Falliam day, everyone! Couldn’t let today go without at least posting a small ficlet.

“I hear you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick.”

But the slight break and rasp in his girlfriends’ voice says otherwise. And her skin-tone. God, she’s as pale as a ghost. He stands off in the doorway, watching her type vigorously away on her keyboard, eyes drooping closed ever so slightly, ever so slowly before she catches herself and the blue beneath her lids snap wide open.

His hands rest comfortably in the pockets of his brown leather jacket, leaning against the wooden doorframe. “Your assistant called me and told me you fell asleep during your morning meeting.”

“I fell asleep because they were boring me.”

“Right,” Liam plays along. He’ll humor her for a moment, if that’s what she wants. She won’t be winning this one though. He edges closer to the body behind the desk, fully stepping into the sunlit office. “And that they’ve tried to send you home three times, but you refuse.”

“Well,” the brunette shrugs. “I am the boss.”

“Dylan said you scared off the new intern when you threatened to shave her head.”

“So, what?” It’s the first time her eyes leave her screen to look at him, and all he can think of is how exhausted she looks. But still, there’s the slightest of smirks hiding beneath her tired eyes. “They called you in for reinforcement?”

“Well, you are the love of my life,” he says. She may be sick but he’s pretty impressed at how she doesn’t miss an eye roll at his comeback. “Maybe they thought you’d listen to me.”

“Yeah, right,” his girlfriend scoffs.

“Yeah, that’s what I told Dylan, too.” Liam pauses a moment, thoroughly amused with Fallon’s determination to prove she is not sick, as she types away and tries to fight her tired eyes that just keep trying to close. “But he insisted that I come down here and try to talk some sense into you.”

Her fingers leave the keyboard, body sinking back into the chair. “Well, lucky me.”

“I’d say so.”

“Look, I love you, I do,” she mutters, hands coming up to rest against his chest, pushing his body back from her, “but I have work to do.”

“No, you don’t. You’re done for the day.” Liam grabs her hands on his chest, pulling her up lightly from her swivel chair. “You’re gonna come home with me.”

“Are you trying to pick me up, Mr. Ridley?”

“Yeah, you got me.” He trails off when her head hits his shoulder and he can feel the heat radiating off her body. “My god, you’re so hot.”

“Thanks, I know.”

“No, Fal, you’re burning up.” Liam pushes her back just so, placing the palm of his hand on her forehead, cupping her face with both his hands, sure to look at her with direct eye contact. “Babe, you have a fever.” 

And just like that, in a split second, the facade she was putting on drops and she relaxes into him, head lolling on to his shoulder, arms snaking their way around his frame and curling in as close as she can to him. 

“I don’t feel good.”

“I know, babe.” Liam rubs his left hand gently up and down her back in a comforting manner, while his other is busy running his fingers through her long, silky hair. He doesn’t like how warm she feels, how she’s clearly worked so hard the past few weeks and made herself sick over it. “Will you please let me take you home now?“

[the-wardens-torch]

FFXIVwrite2019 - Prompt #2

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast, a very kind and dedicated pillar of this funky little FFXIV community!

((Had to repost this one because I’m an idiot and didn’t follow the rules with my post title and I was afraid I’d get missed since I originally posted this hours ago, thanks @adeat for pointing that out /facepalm))

Entry #1, prompt #2 - Bargain Word count: 812

N’elyrha knew a powerful woman when she saw one.

Sihaha Siha’s stature made her no less imposing - the scarlet paint on her lips didn’t resemble a girlish flush of arousal so much as the spilled blood of a freshly killed lamb.  Her eyes were a jolly rose pink, but betrayed little emotion behind dark eyeshadow that hung fog-thick on her eyelids, and eyelashes like shards of volcano glass.  She brought her hand up and gently touched her chin, leaving a single finger over her closed lips, a gesture that might have seemed coquettish on anyone else.  

“You come with a strong recommendation from one of my wealthiest patrons… he said that he should like to see you perform in surroundings more befitting a “flower of the desert,” as he so tritely put it.” her voice was flat and expressionless.

“Your willingness to entertain the thought of hiring me is flattering, but I cannot say that I imagined myself performing in a place like… this.” N’elyrha cast her eyes around the room… Nearly every surface was velvet, brocade, lacquer, or all of the above, in varying warm, sensual colors. An oil painting of suggestively flesh-colored flowers bloomed on the wall behind Sihaha’s chair, rising around her like some elaborate throne. Sihaha chuckled.

“Please, little sister.  I know that isn’t your kind of performance. I have other girls to do the hands-on work, and they enjoy every minute of it just as you enjoy every note of your songs. I would be happy to have you.  Though you would need accommodations, am I correct?”

“Yes, mistress. For me and… for my son.”

This provoked another chuckle from Siha.

“What, that leggy bay colt of a Hyur downstairs? If that’s your son, than I’m the daughter of a Xaela and a Sea Wolf….”

Siha’s sarcasm came as no surprise to N’ Elyrha, who had been hearing remarks like this about her choice of family for nearly a decade. Her anger at it was all but gone, manifesting only in a slight flattening of her ears and tensing of her jaw.

Siha laced her fingers together and smiled, letting it be known that N’elyrha’s reigned in anger was not lost on her.  “…But, in this line of work, found family is often all we can hope for. Just the same, even a young rooster can cause trouble in the henhouse.” Siha said, blood red lips curling into a self-assured smile.

N’elyrha looked back at her, meeting her pink champagne gaze with a sort of spiteful determination.

“He can earn his keep, believe me.  He can braid my hair as easily as he can fell an antelope, which is to say nothing of what he brings to my performances… He’s only touched an instrument a few times in his life, but any tune you play to him he can play back with scarcely a moment’s thought.   He knows all the best bawdy limericks and sings like a sunroad wren.”

Siha shook her head, her smile growing wider as her veiled eyes twinkled. N’elyrha held her tongue despite the fact that Siha was clearly enjoying this little game she had created between them.

“Sure he’s your sweet little pet now, sister, but in a few years he’ll be peeking into the dressing rooms and leaving sticky spots all over the furniture, and that songbird voice of his may turn into a raven‘s croak.”

N’elyrha angrily sucked in a breath through her nostrils. She had many a memory of the teenage boys of her own tribe using sticks to draw enormous cocks in the sand, spying on the nunh as he made love to his favorite woman, sneaking peeks at the girls bathing near Burgundy falls… Generally acting like aldgoats in rut. It was only a matter of time before her own boy reached such an age, and she was not looking forward to it. Just the same, Siha’s game was getting tiring, sensible as her objections might be.

“But before you try to verbally disembowel me with that pretty voice of yours, let me propose a bargain.” Siha said, narrowing her eyes in a playfully predatory fashion.

“We have a vacant room, and one of my orchestra players recently skipped town.  Left his accordion behind after he used his other “instrument” to fool around with the dockmaster’s daughter.  Teach your boy to play that accordion, keep a tight rein on him, and you may both stay here. Would such an arrangement please you, little sister?”

N’elyrha shuffled her feet girlishly and smiled.

“It would, mistress.” N’elyrha reached out her hand to the smaller woman, allowing the faintest hint of defiance to sparkle in her golden eyes. “And might I say how appropriate it is that your name has ’haha’ in it… Because you’re certainly proving yourself to have a very unique sense of humor.”

Sihaha’s chuckle became an unabashed guffaw as she shook N’elyrha’s hand warmly.

((And we’re off and running with an uncomfortable female perspective on male puberty - meet Sihaha Siha, proprietress of the Fox and Shrew, and first employer of Fal and his mom.))