#i am thrilled and validated

[not-your-bro]

rip josh washington you would've loved the josh wine memes 😔✊️

[mango-mya]

Yes that's Shakespeare please leave me alone

[aeide-thea]

wot show is so obsessed with architecture and tbh i'm not mad about it???

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

the plot has been thickening too much lately. yeah it's too thick now. we should add some water maybe. thinnen that thick ass plot.

[leggywillow]

Chapters: 26/? Fandom: Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Carver Hawke/Female Surana, Carver Hawke/Warden Characters: Carver Hawke, Female Surana (Dragon Age), Jowan (Dragon Age), Nathaniel Howe, Zevran Arainai, Original Grey Warden Character(s) (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: King Alistair (Dragon Age), Past Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age), Warden Carver Hawke, Named Surana (Dragon Age), Warden Jowan (Dragon Age), Blood Magic (Dragon Age), Canon Plausible, Jowan/Lily - Freeform Summary: Warden-Commander Surana deals with the responsibilities and dangers of a powerful position she never expected to have, as well as the consequences of old decisions coming to haunt her. Warden Carver Hawke is finally finding his purpose now that he’s out of his older sister’s shadow, and he’s surprised to find it at the side of the Hero of Ferelden. Takes place in 34 Dragon. Aims to be MOSTLY canon-plausible.

I have hit 26 chapters on this. That makes me inordinately pleased with myself AND think that maybe, maybe, I can find the drive to write out my whole pre-Inquisition canon that I’ve finally settled on.

[hearthtales]

At first, nothing happened.

Nettie couldn’t help fidgeting. She shifted on the floor to sit cross-legged, her back leaned against the wall. She held her breath as she focused on the mirror’s surface, waiting for something to change. Her reflection looked both eager and uncertain. Hints of sorrow remained — a faint blotchiness to her freckled cheeks, blue eyes still a bit watery.

At last, her reflection rippled and disappeared, and someone else appeared instead. Someone with hair as black as night, sparkling green eyes, and a bright smile to chase away the dark. Though her cheery greeting didn’t include her name, Nettie instantly knew this must be Samhain’s kitty friend.

She exhaled a breath of wonder. Jittery excitement rushed through her and sent her sadness scurrying away. She listened, starry-eyed, as Nightshade spoke; and when Nightshade guessed her name correctly, the child’s face lit up with delight.

A touch of starstruck shyness stole into her smile and tinted her cheeks pink. When the time came to reply, she nodded, fumbling to remember the reason she’d called in the first place. “Sam, um— he said I could use this for not-emergencies, too, and he told me about you, and I wanted to talk to you. I’ve, um…” Her voice grew quieter, hushed with awe. “I’ve never met someone who can turn into a kitty before.”

“Close your eyes… and listen very closely..”

A little embarrassed that he had failed, and in front of Liore at that, Sam was determined to try again and get actual results. He closed his eyes, acutely aware of Liore's hand on his - her voice slipping into his ears and settling down into his chest, into the pits of his stomach. Her words fell over the aching like a salve, numbing it almost. And just as the gnawing was about to fight back one last time, the dream rippled.

He took a deep breath and let out a huge sigh of relief. His heart returned to normal, no longer panicked by unseen shadows or voices. His head felt lighter and he felt calmer for it. Sam finally felt at peace.

He opened his eyes to Liore, staring back at him with anticipation with eyes glittering in the morning light. Yes, those were the eyes he remembered. “Well?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. “What did it say..?”

Sam smiled warmly as he answered "..It said 'welcome home'."

—

Throughout the night, Nightshade hoped and prayed that nothing too serious befell her mentor and friend. She was still in perfect health, which was a good sign in itself. But now the clock was ticking and she rushed to get the dream draughts done without jeopardizing their quality. She was in a hurry but knew how important it was to stay meticulous, when even the slightest detail could mean disaster for the user of the charm or potion. And if these were meant for Samhain, she'd make sure to take extra care in their creation.

By the time the draughts were done - little sachets of concentrated, floral and magickal concoction charmed and secured with tie-strings laced with unicorn hair - it was nearly dawn. Nightshade practically collapsed into the mess of blankets and cushions of their den to catch up on a few hours of sleep. She knew she'd feel better tackling the day refreshed and energized, but still couldn't help worrying over Samhain. Her last thought before dozing off was that she hoped he was okay.

Time passed and her dream of eating blueberry and maple syrup-covered pancakes were interrupted by a loud humming. The humming droned on and on before Nightshade realized it was the large scrying mirror hanging on the wall of their den, where they received general calls and invocations.

Nightshade forced herself out of the cozy nest, scurrying off to the nearest sink to wash her face. First impressions are important, Samhain always said. She picked and preened, made sure her hair was in order and straightened our her shirt (Good thing people couldn't smell you over the mirror - she'd shower later). Once she felt she looked presentable, she answered the mirror with her best smile. "Hallows residence! What can we do you for?"

It only took her a second to recognize the girl, based on Samhain's description of her. "Oh! HeeEEeeyyy I think I know youuu~" said Nightshade, her eyes sparkling with delight. "Wait, wait, no let me think," she closed her eyes, tapping a manicured nail on the tip of her nose as she tried to remember the girl's name. "It's Nettie, am I right?! Nice to meetcha! You rang~?"

[asongofashandarrows]

Ryan, this isn't even the first time they've joined forces in AI art this week

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I do write fanfics for validation, but the validation in question doesn’t come from hits or comments or kudos from my readers. I mean of course, those are great, and I absolutely love and appreciate everyone who reads and engages with my works. I even have screenshots of lovely comments, people have been kind enough to give me, as something to motivate myself to write whenever I start doubting myself or am going through a writer’s block. but what I’m saying here is that the validation I seek the most comes from within myself whenever I manage to finish and publish something. like I get these sense of euphoria + thrills + adrenaline rush every time I post a new work on AO3, ya know, it actually feels like I managed to achieve something. after days of writing, it’s finally here. like this work right here is my child and I’m so proud of myself for having produced it. like I did something with my life even if that something is a fanfic where I put my blorbo through hell. but I’m a proud mom and I’m so proud of me !!!!

[thebibliosphere]

From what I've seen, I think the Batkids would like your book.

Hunger Pangs? You flatter me.

But also, yes thank you for this particular strain on self-indulgent brain rot. I am going to be absolutely abnormal about this.

I’d like to imagine Dick picks it up at an airport somewhere on his way back from a trip and becomes hooked on the “clever, pretty, jumps-from balconies-for-the-thrill-of-the-fall vampire and goes, “oh, same.”

The fact that it’s got a rugged, soldiery werewolf with a heart of gold who enforces self-care as a form of kink-play is also doing stuff to his brain. (That’s a thing? He can… he can ask someone for that? Who does he ask for that? It’s been weeks since he slept more than a few hours and ate more than cereal for dinner. Seriously, who does he ask? How much is it? He’s got money. He’ll pay.) The uh, the need for validation and the budding praise kink is also hitting a little too close to home.

As is “all powerful witch with the power to pick you up with her mind and throw you around like a rag doll.” (LiStEN, he spent a large chunk of his formative years surrounded by tight spandex suits, villains with sexy mind control pollen and getting kidnapped and tied up every other week. It’s not his fault he’s Like This.)

He’s not mad about it, though.

*

Babs catches him re-reading it during downtime. She’s not even that interested, more asking what it is to be polite, but the way Dick jumps and turns red, like he didn’t even realize she was in the room is… intriguing.

“I can see why you like it,” she says, several days later, casually drinking her coffee while Dick stares straight ahead, willing the floor to open up and swallow him whole. “Magic, politics. Saving the world from certain doom with the power of knowledge and ecological preservation.” She glances sideways at him. “Vlad’s got some interesting quirks.”

“Shut up.”

“Are we sure you’ve not been compromised?”

“Babs, I mean it.”

“Mean what?” Tim appears in the kitchen as though from nowhere, pouring a red bull into the coffee pot.

No one tries to stop him.

“Dick’s reading a new book,” Babs says, ignoring the murderous look Dick sends her way.

“Oh? What book? Is it any good?”

“Uh, yeah, uh.” Dick rubs at the back of his neck, glaring daggers at Babs as she rolls out of the room, cackling. “It’s uh, romance. Kind of silly actually…”

“Oh?”

Dick nods. “It’s got a vampire and a werewolf. Two guys. And a… well she’s just sort of magic. They break into a library to save the world from ecological disaster. They’re all bi. Together. Or they will be in the next book. This one’s more about the vampire and the werewolf getting together. Um...”

Tim’s gone very still in the way he does when his brain has caught hold of something and he’s absolutely about to let it consume him. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Dick shrugs. “It’s got some kink in it,” he warns, not wanting to expose his younger brother to something he’s not ready for. Which is ludicrous because he’s Robin. And from the way Tim’s not drinking his ‘coffee’ he can tell this is only going to go one way no matter what he says. He brightens, remembering something. “But there’s, like, a non smutty version too? Or a less smutty version, I guess? I don’t know, I haven’t read it yet. I could, we could go to the bookstore, maybe stop at the art store too…”

“I’ll meet you in the car.”

*

“So,” Jason says, and Dick can already tell where this is going by the shit-eating grin on his face. “Vampires, huh? Or is it more the werewolves you’re into?”

“Who told you?” Dick bemoans. “Was it Babs?” He bets it was Babs. Fucking Babs.

“Oh, no one told me anything Boy Wonder. Tim found out the author has a go-fund-me for some medical shit that exceeded his monthly allowance and he’s been harassing Bruce to “fix it�� for several days now. He’s down in the cave making a nuisance of himself right now. Apparently he quote “needs more of the bisexual monster books Dick told him about” unquote, and the author can’t do shit if she up and fucking dies because this country’s a fucking for-profit shit hole.”

Dick places his head in his hands. “Oh, God. Is Bruce mad? He’s mad, isn’t he?”

Jason shrugs. “Couldn’t tell you. Last I heard, Tim was playing him the audiobook over the bat computer to make his case.”

Dick let’s his head thump against the table. This is it. This is his villain origin story. He’s going to run away and join the Rogues. Or maybe he’ll go back to the Circus. Either option is better than the idea of having to meet Bruce’s eye later over the dinner table.

“Personally, I thought the plot was a little weak but the characters are compelling,” Jason says, sipping his herbal tea. “I liked the chill necromancer doctor. I feel like he’d be able to fix me.”

[andy-wm]

The Tarot of VMINKOOK

Their dynamic as I see it, and the absolute validation that Jimin and JK are together.

I really enjoyed the 3rd episode of Are You Sure, partly because I love the VMin dynamic, and partly becuse I was relieved to see that JK and Tae got along.

I also enjoyed watching just the three of them together without the rest of the members because I could really focus on the way they interacted.

This post is entirely my own opinion, and based on my observations. Feel free to politely disagree.

What we had was:

The Siblings - JK & KTH

The Cousins - JM & KTH

The Lovers - JM &JK

The Siblings

JK and Tae have peak adolescent sibling energy Pre-adolescent maybe....

It's typical of the petty rivalry of siblings close in age where the younger is the dominant personality and the older is slightly mistified by the audacity of their little brother.

Tae's eye-roll here 🤣

They will argue over nothing, but they will also readily unite when they have a common goal or foe. In this episode, they ganged up on Jimin for the sake of amusing the viewers (I get that they had a mandate to be entertaining but seriously, poor Jimin 🤣.)

At least it gave JK and Tae a reason to cooperate, because we know JK wasn't thrilled about him joining them. And who can blame him... how often do the two of them get away together?

Tae and JK probably have that "I can talk shit about my brother but nobody else can" thing going on, and I am 100% sure either of them would jump to defend the other if someone outside Bangtan gave them reason to.

I'm sure JK sees Tae as a genuine brother, but that doesn't mean Tae doesn't irritate the hell out of him sometimes. We've seen Tae take liberties, and we've seen JK snipe at him.

What is clear to me, seeing the three of them together, is that competitive-natured JK has to curb his desire to compete with Tae for Jimin's attention - to steal Jimin from Tae - and we've seen him do it, so it's not unheard of. The bottom line is, JK doesn't love sharing Jimin. And that being true, having to totally relinquish Jimin must have been... challenging let's say.

Even giving him a Harley to ride wasn't enough compensation for JK's FOMO when VMin were having fun in the car without him. And that grimace he wore when he was enjoying his solo gokart ride was absolutely hilarious too.

The other thing that comes between them, based on what I've seen, is JK's impatience with Tae's quirkiness. JK does not seem to have the gentle fondness or the endless patience Jimin does with Tae, which brings me to...

The Cousins

Tae and Jimin are like those cousins. You know the ones I mean? The cousins who have that magical bond. They connect on some ultraviolet wavelength nobody else can see, and it's both delightful and annoying for everyone around them (especially for the ultra-competitive boyfriend of one of the cousins, who feels like he's the third wheel when the those two get together).

Jimin and Tae are 친구 - same age friends - and this automatically puts them together - they are peers. It creates an instant friendship bond. But their connection seems like more than that, because Jimin and Tae seem to be so at ease together that neither of them has to mask, and that means they trust one another. That type of deep connection between two people can only come from unconditional acceptance.

Tae doesnt know how to use a drive-thru, and Jimin patiently helps him.

I believe that even if they grow apart, their unique connection will always remain... Because you never forget your first, right?

I'm talking about the first person who really sees you.

Maybe they're the first person you come out to and who comforts you when you're afraid of what that might mean for you. Maybe they're the person who never teases you when you miss social cues, and who will quietly explain the joke you didn't get. Whatever your situation, that person is the one who you trust with your real self. You know you're safe with them.

Both Tae and Jimin have characteristics that set them apart. I'm not in the habit of diagnosing people but Tae does make me wonder, the way he lacks social awareness and sometimes goes off on bizzare tangents, and his very individual fashion sense... not to mention his hatred of shoes. Jimin's gender and sexual identity would have been equally challenging for him, trying as he was to fit in and be a strong man.

They would both have felt like outsiders and struggled with connection and belonging, and I think their genuine support of each other is what makes their friendship so special.

I think that's what the soulmates thing is all about.

And who could possibly compete with a soulmate? Only one person...

In this social game of cards, JK holds the trump.

The Lovers

There's only one reason JK would rank higher in Jimin's books than Tae, when Tae automatically has higher standing on both a personal level with Jimin, and a broader social level.

Jimin and Tae are 친구 - they have a bond unique to people born in their year. That bond means younger or older friends are always going to be more distant, because even with close friendships across age groups, honorifics will still apply. Only with chingus can the honorifics completely fall away.

In addition, Tae is older than JK, so automatically holds a higher social standing. Even though Tae and JK are friends, JK should still defer to him, especially where his chingu is concerned. But JK does not.

This can only mean one thing:

Jimin and JK are in a relationship.

JK's status as Jimin's partner outweighs any other relationships Jimin has. Therefore JK stands as an equal next to Jimin, and that shuffles everyone else down a notch.

That's why we see JK squeezing in next to Jimin (sometimes pushing the older members out) so he can get where he needs wants to be.

That's also why, in episode 3, JK could take the bed next to Jimin and leave Tae to sleep on the floor.

Aside from JK's position as Jimin's equal, we can clearly see that he takes care of Jimin in ways he wouldn't if they were not together. He may not defer to Jimin, but he is visibly devoted to him.

I have never had any doubt that Jimin and JK were lovers, and I never for a moment thought they broke up. It's no surprise to me that this is confirned when we see them on this trip.

But I'm still dying to see the next episode with Tae.

Bring on Thursday!!

[qqueenofhades]

re your tags on that last post, you could say he was...biden his time

BA DUMP TSHH.

I think that everyone, having gotten through the initial 24 hours of rage, fear, terror, confusion, anger, and frustration, is coming around to the idea that this was possibly a good thing and has undoubtedly given the Democratic ticket a much-needed jolt of energy. There are still all the very valid conversations to be had about the sway of a tiny group of billionaire donors, the media and Anonymous Democratic Sources bullying, the decision to torch Biden when they could so easily (so! easily!!!) have done it to Trump at any time and have clearly decided to go FULLY into the tank for him instead. This has many worrisome implications for democracy, and it's not something to be celebrated. All of that is still very much true.

However, now that we have had concrete evidence of the party immediately cohering around Kamala and the grassroots donors busting down the door to give her money, it may also turn out that this was a very wise political jiu-jitsu move by a very crafty political veteran like Biden. As the post I just reblogged pointed out, he did it AFTER the GOP convention, when the Republicans had already locked in (by any reasonable metric) a terrible, terrible ticket. It makes the Democrats look like the ones responsive to the American people demanding a younger and more mentally "with it" candidate (no matter how obvious the slurs about ageism were in regard to Biden when Trump is literally THREE YEARS YOUNGER and far more obviously scrambled). It opens all the excitement and historic firsts of Obama in 2008, it gives the perfect "Prosecutor vs. Felon" tagline that's really easy to run with and stick in people's minds, it is beautiful revenge for all Trump's horrible sexist behavior in 2016 (and really, his whole life) and it gives the Democrats the narrative, if they can FUCKING STICK TOGETHER AND STOP STABBING EACH OTHER IN THE BACK. Now we get to hear about Kamala's running mate, Kamala's plans, feel-good pieces about how she appeals to youth, women/people of color, etc. etc. ALL THAT IS GOOD.

I think/hope the DNC will now be a massive celebration of Biden, who after all came out of retirement when he was already old to take on Trump, beat him, deliver an incredibly successful presidency, and pass the torch on to Kamala. I saw some criticism of Obama yesterday for not endorsing her immediately, but what I read is that he/the other Democratic big beasts (Pelosi, Schumer, etc) want to be a uniting figure with an endorsement of the final candidate, if there was a contested primary beforehand. Thank fuck, it doesn't look like there will be, but it also means that they might wait until the DNC before openly endorsing her. Now, I am still angry at the Biden knifing that all these three were complicit in to some degree, BUT I also have no doubt that if/when Kamala is confirmed as the nominee, they will line up behind her to endorse her and her VP pick. I have seen Mark Kelly, Roy Cooper, etc as possible picks (since alas, she will probably have to pick a straight white man; Kelly would be replaced in the Senate by Democratic AZ governor Katie Hobbs; Cooper is term-limited as governor in NC and might help us target that state for a flip). But what is number one most important is that we support her and whoever she DOES choose. I have also heard that she is already in the process of vetting picks and this is exciting news.

I am thrilled to vote for a woman for POTUS the second time in a few years, I think she has a real shot at winning, and I am heartened by how the base has rallied to Kamala in 24 hours. Let's fucking go. As my new office decoration says:

[anouchard]

hi!! was curious about something, has anyone recognized your voice in public yet? or do you think they will, if they haven't? ^^

Hi! This happened at MCM, actually. I was cosplaying as Arthur Lester (I was there unofficially and wasn't on any panels, so I was a little more incognito, I guess). I joined a Magnus meet and had a chat with most folk there, and a few people very shyly came over and began with "sorry, this is a weird question, but ...?". 😅

They were thrilled, which was lovely.

I have also shocked people in the past who have suddenly realised in the middle of a conversation - that's always fun. I'd much rather have people not know who they're talking to if that ends up making them feel more at ease in the moment. I've never been one to play the " ... don't you know who I am?" game, because at the end of the day, none of this is about me or my ego - it's about Magnus and it's about Gwen, and I'm very, very happy with that being the case. 😊

But yeah, please feel free to come over and say hi if you hear a voice and think "hang on a minute ...". Or if you just see me and recognise me that way. Either is valid!

[bouquetface]

Vedic Observations 7:

Accuracy is influenced by the ENTIRE chart. This is general information for learners not a personal reading.

7th House ruler exalted in 11th House

An indicator the spouse will be the main breadwinner/provider. This is more likely if the planet is jupiter in cancer or mars in capricorn.

7th House ruler in 10th house

Partnerships and teamwork are important in your career. You may work with clients, you may have a business partner. This is one indicator of working with the spouse too.

Sun in 5th House

This can give interest in history and politics. You may get this interest from your father or another authority figure.

Depending on sign and aspects, these people can deeply need validation. The type to cry over a bad grade and be thrilled with good feedback from a teacher.

Mars conjunct Venus

Money/possessions are important in your long-term romantic relationships. Depending on the entire chart this will manifest in various ways. A few ways I have observed:

Cancer mars conjunct venus = Live-in partner sued the person after their breakup for a significant amount of money despite the couple never having been married.

Taurus mars conjunct venus = This person remained with their toxic spouse due to money related issues.

What is being activated after marriage:

Check how many planets are between your AK (highest degree) & DK (lowest degree). The themes of the planets in between will be activated after marriage - not all at once, more gradually.

Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter & Saturn.

EX: If AK is Sun and DK is Saturn. After marriage is when everything is activated for you. This can indicate a long lasting and early marriage. The marriage allows you to begin your life.

If AK is Jupiter and DK is Saturn. You have many trials and lessons to complete before you are able to marry the person for you. This can indicate a late marriage (this is only one indicator though). This can show many partners or experiences occur before finding the one for you.

If AK is Moon and DK is Venus. You may become more communicative and educated after marriage. If Mercury is debilitated in navamsa and lagna, this may not be the case.

EDIT: I am realizing this observation was a bit confusing to a lot of people. I would not worry about it. It is more advanced astrology which would require full charts for complete accuracy. Take it as casual entertainment.

Accuracy always depends on the entire natal chart AND navamsa. The house, aspects and signs of each planet will tell the full story.

[thinkingboute]

masks | harry styles x model!oc

summary: Carolina Saraiva, 20 year old supermodel, has fallen into the dark. looking into the mirror, she hardly recognizes herself. At Vanity Fair's new masquerade ball, she embarrasses herself in front of one of the most famous men of 2014---Harry Styles. Chaos ensues. For many, many years.

part 2 here! and part 3!

warnings: mentions of drugs, disordered eating, vomit, anxiety, claustrophobia, (eventually sexual content but be patient friends)

a/n: I have been writing fics for myself for ages and I had an idea for a little HS series the other night and felt the need to share. Wrote this in one go and did no editing. I never read OC fics. Why am I writing an OC fic?

word count: about 1.5k

Every camera flash seemed brighter and more obnoxious than the last. Lina thought she’d have been used to the visual assault, but she was wrong. 

She’d been wrong a lot lately. 

Vanity Fair’s first ever masquerade ball drummed up quite the ruckus in the few months since it was announced. Of course, her management was thrilled when she received an invitation. At just 20 years old, Carolina Saraiva was a modeling sensation. At 18, she opened the Victoria’s Secret show, walked for Dior and Prada, and graced the cover of British Vogue---soon to be American Vogue, if her team had anything to say about it. She blew up so quickly, it was as if she spawned into superstardom in a mere moment. 

“The next Gisele,” her mother said wistfully after seeing her Vogue cover. “I have never been happier.”

Lina, however, had certainly been happier. In fact, she had never been further from happy. Joy was a limited resource in the modeling world; one that had been used up long before she took her first headshots. All that remained was coke, tequila, and passing out in the bathtub. Not that she partook in all those things exactly.

Only two. 

She was sure the cameras would catch her exhaustion, blinding light illuminating her dark circles, hallowed cheeks, and heavy lids.

Is Carolina Saraiva Bringing Back Cocaine Couture?

Model Down: Fresh Face Carolina Saraiva Faceplants on the Way into Vanity Fair’s Latest Party

Coke-alina: Brazilian Bombshell is Strung Out at High Profile Event

She was sure the tabloids would have their think pieces on the health of supermodels and their drug usage by sunrise. She didn’t bother with the coke rumors anymore. It’s not like there wasn’t validity to them, really. Lina wasn’t doing coke, but she was one of the few. 

“To your left, Carolina,” one photographer called out, stirring from her daydream. Lina whipped her head around, hair cascading down her back, and shot the man a wide, dimpled smile. More cheers erupted. For once, Lina was glad for them; they confirmed to her that her mask---the metaphorical one---had yet to slip on the outside. The real one, large and feathered, actually did seem to be sliding down her nose. She charmingly pushed it back up, eliciting laughs from the eager-to-please paps swarming her. 

A strong hand made its way to her mid-back: Darren, her security. She leaned back into it, grateful for the support. He took her small handbag from her without even a glance. She smiled her first genuine smile in a long time. She was prone to losing every bag she carried. With a half-hearted wave behind her, she made her way through the large, iron wrought doors. 

The opulence of celebrity events still floored her, even years into her career. There was a time, so distant in her memory, when she would have slashed, bitten, and crawled through fire to be in this position. Now, she would give anything to leave. 

Where else would she go, then? There were times before that she missed the tranquility of her family’s ranch in Florida, or the warm mornings in their family home in Sao Paulo. 

These days, Lina couldn’t think of anywhere she wanted to be. 

Darren’s hand dropped from her back, causing her to stumble at the loss of support. She surveyed the scene, eager to find a back door or balcony for fresh air. That was one thing New York lacked. 

Instead, her eyes caught a tall figure, adorned in pale pinks and gold jewels, with a dress whose hoop must’ve added at least two feet to her radius. 

Behind that bejeweled mask, the woman’s eyes caught Linas. 

“Oh, my goodness, you lady of the night!” Gigi exclaimed, shuffling as fast as she could through the crowd to grab Lina’s hands. They both looked down to examine her dress. The blackish blue, corseted, tulle ballgown was vintage and, for once, Lina couldn’t remember the designer. The silhouette was historical, remanent of Victorian style pieces. Alongside the dramatic, feathered mask, she was reminiscent of a ghost. She laughed to herself. How fitting.

Mustering up her most genuine smile, she said, “You look like a princess!” Gigi smiled at that. Lina really meant it. Gigi was always happy, it seemed. She was more human than any other girl she’d met in the industry. 

They looked around the room, startled as the chandeliers shut off dramatically. A sort of eerie light filled the room from some other source. It was as if there was a nightclub in the 1800s. 

“It feels like I left 2014 the moment I got here,” Gigi whispered. Lina was inclined to whisper, too, with the atmosphere changing so quickly.

Before she got the chance, deafening bass filled the room, shaking the floor. Gigi waved in apology as she was pulled by faceless hand back into the crowd. Lina could have thrown up right there. Her eyes set on the bar, she pushed her way through the crowd. 

Sweat seemed to fog up the room, humidity surely ruining her freshly blown out hair. Each time she found a pathway through the gyrating bodies, an arm or leg or ass threw itself in her way. The room that seemed endless when she first walked in was no larger than a corridor now. Worse, a coffin. She was panting. Another woman stepped back into her path. Lina threw her hands out towards her, shoving her back into her dance partner who was clearly on another planet. She heard a distant ‘augh’ but could not find it within herself to care. She was having a hard time finding anything within herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate something. 

The bar came into view, or really, the crowd the engulfed the bar came into view. She shoved into two men who leaned casually on the counter. A drink appeared in front of her, and she was inclined to take it. 

Turning around to lean her back against the cold marble, Lina closed her eyes. She downed the drink and handed her empty glass to one of the men standing beside her, who slid his hand along her lower back. Saliva filled her mouth. Slapping a hand over pursed lips, she ran towards what looked like a bathroom.

She tried to slam the door open, but barely had the strength to push it open. Her steps were uneven. Her head was in the toilet bowl before she even realized she found a stall. 

After retching for what felt like an hour, Lina attempted to stand, but her ankles gave out under her. Yelling out in frustration, she slapped her hands on the toilet bowl for leverage. 

Hands washed, she leaned on the cool countertop, looking up at herself in the mirror.

Hair frizzed on top, lip gloss everywhere but her lips, darkness beneath her cheekbones that she knew was not from her hour-long stint in the makeup chair---Lina looked in to her eyes, hidden behind the mask, and cried. 

The door shot open behind her, followed by a long sigh, followed again by a yelp. 

Lina’s head shot back. There was a man behind her. Because she was in the men’s bathroom. She was sure she would vomit into the sink.

“Oh---oh my god. I’m so sorry, I could’ve sworn this was the men’s toilet, Niall that absolute fucking bastard.”

Lina’s head whipped back just before bile filled her mouth. 

“Holy shit, are you alright?”

Lina took a deep breath. “I’m perfectly fine, thank you.” She had never sounded less fine in her goddamn life. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…” her hand swiped around the counter for a handbag that wasn’t there. 

Fucking Darren. 

“No, no, why don’t I go, yeah?” the man said, coughing to cover his laugh. “I think you might need…to be here more than me.”

“Nope, nope, I’ll be going,” Lina whined. 

“Actually, why don’t I just grab someone for you. You come here with anyone?”

Lina could not remember Darren’s name at the moment. 

“How much have you had to drink? Or have you…done something else?”

“Are you asking me if I’ve done coke tonight, Harry Styles?”

Lina turned to look at him fully. He wore an all-black suit with satin flower details along the lapels. His mask was simple, matching the detailing of his jacket. Behind it, green eyes above pink-flushed cheeks looked her up and down, stepping back as if to avoid another onslaught of vomit. 

“No. I mean, yeah, sure, if you have, but I don’t mean to assume anyth---”

“No. I have not. Why does everyone think I do coke?”

Harry looked at her once again. 

“I mean---”

“I am not typically puking in men’s restrooms.”

A laugh. “Never said you were, Carolina.”

Oh. 

“You know my name.”

“Hard not to. Can’t escape your face if I fucking tried.”

“You want to escape my face?”

“Never said that either, darling.”

Oh.

“I think maybe I should go.”

Harry’s teasing smile became a grimace of concern. “At least let me get you a cab.”

Lina shook her head, the room shaking with it. “No, no, if you leave, they won’t let you back in.”

“I’m Harry Styles. Sure, they will."

“How presumptuous.”

A shrug. “Just saying.”

Lina swipes, once again, for the handbag that isn’t there. Harry’s eyes widen slightly. “Go find whatever bastard you were moaning about earlier. I’ll be fine.”

“Come on---” But Lina had already pushed passed him. Back into the sea of people. Back into that coffin of a room. 

a/n: please let me know if you want to see more of this!! I will write it anyway but I'm curious lol

part 2 here!!

[campbyler]

our chapters average at 27,000 words, the total fic length is already 3x the average novel length, and we lost one of the authors working on this fic. it must be so nice to only have to endure the wait for a chapter to be uploaded so that you can interact with it rather than being the one to actually write it.

im going to be cruel (no pun intended) to be kind: this is such an intense externalisation of blame. you are the ones in control of the fic length; the chapters could handle some heavy editing and it wouldnt make them any less wonderful (such as regarding the descriptions of mike and will's internal thoughts, not the action between the characters themselves). fic is free and its a gift to be able to read works that inspire our hearts and minds while we wait for the show, but then again, when at the stern of a juggernaut work such as this, one that will inevitably have many followers chomping at the bit on tumblr as well as ao3 (as you designed it to have!), you surely must be aware of something that only usually exists in professional marketing spaces involving customers + brand IP: the relationship between consumer and creator, and what they can give each other.

not 'owe each other' - nothing is owed, except perhaps basic human kindness. fans want your work, and its free, so we should be grateful; likewise, you want readers, feedback and clicks, and that should be free, too. but in order for this to work smoothly, there has to be fair give and take. i mean, if you wanted to monetize the fic i'm sure many people would pay to read it, but thats beside the point here.

what fans of this fic simply want is the same honesty and self-awareness from you that they might expect from any artist who has embarked on such am ambitious project. and this doesnt just mean transparency about potential uploading dates (which is already much appreciated by the majority!), or notifications about how hard it is to balance work and life (something most people on the planet struggle with). it means total honesty and hard answers. people like to know where they stand. plenty of writers (both professional and fan alike) abandon works for months, years at a time, and if the work is THAT good, people will always be thrilled to see a return. it's the mucking people about that is what destroys relationships - no matter how good your reasons are.

your fic is wonderful and very, very memorable. you could take a big, undefined hiatus and people would, im sure, return, including me. seeing you admit that you have been prioritizing this fic over your mental health does not inspire confidence either, or even comfort - do i want to read something that has caused the creator such harm?

i think everything about this process would be happier for everyone if you set boundaries that work for you and didn't place blame elsewhere. after all, as you said, it's just a fanfic. it doesnt matter if you don't finish it. it doesnt matter if it takes all the way to s5 for 10.2 to release. everyone would, though, appreciate you taking a stance and being consistent (and therefore fair) to both yourselves and the readers.

please feel free to not post this publicly or do as you wish with it.

hello! thank you for your feedback and for sharing it in a way that is both kind and respectful. you make many valid points that i agree with -- we are in control of the word counts and could stand to edit down more, and we do recognize where being transparent about the reasons behind the chapter delays might not inspire confidence or comfort. i do, however, think that isolating one response/chain of responses to a particular ask is a little unfair, so i'd like to provide additional context.

i do not think that it's fair to say that we haven't been honest, self-aware, or fair, because we have been incredibly transparent throughout the entire run of the fic (over a year) about our writing process. just last month suni said she hadn't been working on 10.2 at all because abby had been visiting her house, and readily took ownership of that fact. there was a 4-month wait between chapters 9.1 and 9.2, and i was very open about the fact that i simply needed a break for at least the first of those months because i didn't want to write it. we have continued to maintain several times that we are not abandoning the fic, even if it takes longer between chapters, and have tried to stay as active as possible on the blog because we know that seeing us interact with asks Does inspire confidence. if you just scroll down and see how we have answered other asks inquiring about the upload, we responded kindly and respectfully.

what you interpreted as externalization of blame in that one (1!) ask response was me trying to provide perspective to someone who clearly lacked it. we understand that people will be frustrated about chapter delays, especially if we keep pushing them back, and this is also something that we have received feedback about before and tried to implement; however, it is also a double-edged sword where if we don't give an estimated upload, people get upset, or we give an estimated upload that we think is completely reasonable for us to achieve and then hurdles get in the way, whether it's writer's block or work or time with friends. i absolutely get the frustration on the receiving end, but something i have learned from being in this fandom for two years is that a pretty big majority of those who are interacting with fanworks are not creating it themselves, hence why my response -- while snippy and annoyed, because i was matching the energy, and will not apologize for that -- was contextualizing the whys behind the chapter delay: the chapters are long, the fic is long, we are down one entire body from where we started. the intention was not to shuck blame off of ourselves, but i get that intentions don't always translate into effect, so it's understandable that it was received differently.

we don't always respond to things perfectly. when we have a million and one asks inquiring about the next upload, one stray one that comes off the wrong way is likely going to set us off, because we are people, and this is not a job. we have set a boundary by disabling anon, and again, i cannot stress enough how much i appreciate that you've come to us with this feedback off-anon and with respect and decency. i get where you are coming from and again, agree with a lot of your points.

the only other thing i want to make clear is that this fic, no matter how much attention its garnered, should not be treated as a creator/consumer relationship that mirrors anything where the exchange of money is involved. not only is it unfair to apply this standard to fanworks, where it is illegal to monetize such content, but the entire purpose of fanworks is to celebrate what you are a fan of together. when you apply expectations on either end -- i am a fan of this work, therefore, people should create timely content for it; i am creating this fanwork, therefore, people should interact with it -- defeats the entire nature of fan-created work as a whole. while we have continued to be vocally grateful for the love and support our fic has been shown, we both maintain that we would continue writing and continue uploading even if we were getting less than half of the amount of interaction that we do. it's nice to have interaction, but not necessary, because we what write and post is done because we love it, and it's shared so that we can look back on it, so our friends can enjoy it, and anyone else who might want to. we are, of course, excited to share that world with anyone who cares -- we created the blog and the promo because we wanted to share it -- but that does not mean that the relationship between us and our readers should have expectations. we are all creating and enjoying this work for free for the sake of love for the characters, as the star trek obsessed housewives of the 60s (and the law) have intended.

i feel like this response is a bit jumbled so i apologize if anything isn't clear or hard to understand. thank you again for your time!

[not-goldy]

Shout out to young JM who wanted Jk so bad it had him looking like a stage 3 clinger & shout out to Jk who has done everything in his power to keep that beautiful man once he had him & now a stage 6 clinger. Congrats. I keep thinking about when they were in NY the Megan BTB & how all those bags are sitting there & Jk instinctively grabs 2 and you see JM realizing Jk has his & doesn't have to get one, when the other members are holding theirs. SNIFFS. Its Jj carrying JM's bags & his shoes when they come off his feet. Rubbing his shoulders at any given point, cause one he wants to touch JM, but also knows JM is in pain all the time. Its him cooking the biggest pancake for JM & telling JM of course, you know I'll do it, when JM asked him to cook for him. Or only buying birthday presents for JM. Its him telling JM in front of the world, I'm your fan & hyping everything he does. Its him wanting to cut something cause he doesn't want JM's hand to get hurt or when Vmin were playing with a yoyo, it was JM who was given a lecture on Safety by Jk, about his fingers hurting & this is how accidents happen. Not a word when Tae was playing with it, but the minute JM gets it, his anxiety & boyfriending kicked in, just like when Tae was gonna flip his food & Jk said don't fling it at JM. Jk Coming after Suga with a Frying pan. Bulldozing RM out the way messing with JM. Physically moving Suga away from JM. Bulldozing past Tae to stand directly in front of JM & stare directly at him, when he was thanking Army for an award. Damn, he's just giving a TY speech, not accepting a nobel peace prize, Calm down. The way he guides JM walking up the steps or lets him walk ahead of him. The way he could hear the nervousness in JM's tone & he turns & nods and stares JM down giving his UN speech. Just reassuring JM with his little head nod, I'm here, beside you, you got this & if you notice it was when Jk turned to him when JM let out that deep breath/shudder & said sorry & had to shake it off. Just seeing JK's reassurance almost caused him to loose it. The way the others teased JM over it & Jk jumped to his defense, ready to take on all his Hyungs, but it was him in the end, who couldn't remember when he took a picture with Tae & said it was the day JM said sorry, it was all that stuck in his head. Every little detail he remembers. Even Jimin's grandma's birthday. There within 1 minute when JM called him on his bday live, dropping everyone. Even When he's missing JM he takes it public in front of millions and shows where his heart lies. Who owns his heart. Who he loves & doesn't care if he looks like a fool, as long as people know he's a fool in love. Look at how he chose the buddy system with JM, when he knew he had options & he & JM are complete opposites when it comes to thrill seeking. And how he has made himself look even more sus & clingy, by even saying anything about other branches (BTW his wants are valid and its very much okay if he wanted to do other things) but he still didn't go through with it & instead went through a timely process and enlisted with JM instead. Didn't even enlist on your own that would give you independence and thrills and instead followed JM with the buddy system to hell.

The things we do for love. And If he hasn't told JM yet that he is in love with him, which I am sure he has and or JM at least feels it, but if he hasn't, I hope he gets the courage too one day, cause doing all this, plus following someone to depths of hell, is an awful lot of loving on one person, for it to be for nothing. To do all this for someone, then go home empty handed. What a hell you have to live in that you created for yourself. FYI, I think JM is just as in love with Jk and he appreciates everything, because Letter says it & that he plans to give it all back, what he's received, and I know JM is a man of his word. In fact, I'd say Jk is pretty damn satisfied & gets it back, cause he's still there, standing next to JM, just like he promised. I've never rooted so hard in my life for two people, but these two, I hope it all works out for them and Whatever kind of love it is that they have for one another. I hope it lasts forever.

Damn the onions got my eyes😭😭😭😭🤧