#i am thinking so many thoughts about rose red rn

[in-cara-gible]

when 'its time to get out of bed and be the starchild I can be' and then 'I guess it's time to put that to bed. I guess it's time to let the dead be dead' is anybody even LISTENING TO ME???

[vampiric-succulent]

OUAW EP 46:

Spoilers y’all! Also this one is REALLY long. And. Uh. Yeah.

Oh shit the Jabberwock figure!!! Is this the sword that the Campestri were talking about?

Blue vs red roses…….

Given that this is possibly the Palace/Kingdom of Heart’s Desire, maybe the blue represents the allies of Zybilna and the red represents the hags (or maybe opposite bc the temple seems to be of the hags—-idk)

Is the Jabberwock hag-aligned? Or is it kinda doing it’s own thing

TORBEK AND THE HOSES

Gricko and Frost go trick or treating w hootsie!!!

FROST GLASSES MOMENT LETS GO

“Gideon chooses not to read. Torbek can’t read. We are not the same.”

Love that Gricko gaslit Gideon into pulling the sword out of the stone and he didn’t even have to try to get him to do it

Also love how Nikkie’s immediate idea is “let’s rip the page out of the expensive book”

“Gideon’s trying to vandalize private property” “That has NEVER been a problem for you before” “…We’ll talk about this afterwards.”

Oooh cool sword

Guys what do you think “galumphing” is—- there we go

“I don’t know if we count— we’re friends!” “They’ve seen you masturbate many times.” OH

At the jabberwock fighting arena. Straight up “galumphing” it. And by it. Well. Let’s juts say. My blade

Ohh wait maybe the roses thing is who can get to the Jabberwock first

JABBERWOCK DEEZ NUTS AND GRICKO IS CRYING

IT. ITS GALUMPHING. WOW

He can’t galumph 😭😭

“WELL GET UP HERE AND HELP ME GALUMPH!!!” I AM GOING TO CHOKE

How many nat20s can Mace get

Oh shit!!! I think the blue petals was right!! It was an accident but still right

Love Gricko’s parental moments w Hootsie. I live for that

Oh it’s just some kid’s room

SHE HAS THE KREMY KNIGHT ATOP GID’S STEED AND THE GID KNIGHT ATOP KREMY’S

What if this girl is like Fate? Like she’s controlling the story as she plays with her toys

If she is fate and those two steeds are switched then I will be very happy

Hey leave Derek alone yes the connection is laid out but it’s a lot of info chill

OHHHHH FUCK THE LITTLE PRINCE!!!!!!!!!!!! YEP OKAY SO SHES PLAYING THE STORY AS IT GOES—- so who’s Grandmother??? Can’t be Zybilna as she’s asleep and locked away, id be so shocked if it was something like Baba Yaga

BUHBUHBUH WHAT IF THE CHILD IS ZYBILNA OMGOMGOMGOMGOMFOMG

Grandmother brought her into the tower because she says it’s not safe. The child doesn’t know what’s outside the tower. The child says it’s not wise to say her name and that Grandmother says she is very powerful “even for her age.” Zybilna is stuck in time— I thought that meant she was trapped in slowed time but maybe she’s trapped in eternal childhood? That makes so much sense. Oh my god.

I’m convinced this child is Zybilna

THERES A SNAKE IN TORBEK’S BOOT. Very sad that Andy isn’t going the Toy Story route tho.

GRICKO IS A CLOWN. GRICKO IS A CLOWN. MIKEY IS BACK IN HIS ELEMENT. CHUCKLES RETURNS.

Why does Zybilna like the Jabberwock? Or whatever it was before? What was it before?? WHO IS THE PRINCE ACTUALLY??? And why can they not work without each other if the party is here now???

I am also scared rn. What if they never turn back.

DEREK BEING A MIME IS SO PERFECT

Loving Derek’s mimings

YES RICH IS GOING THE TOY STORY ROUTE

BRETT IS BACK

“Do you have your Mojo Dojo Casa House?” “Well let’s find out— can you open your ass?”

Ohh is the Prince the King of Hearts??? That would make sense

HER TWIG PUPPET??? And the roses are bad????

NOT THE ELABORATION ON THE POTATO TOY ASS STORAGE

“There ain’t no eyeballs in this ass!”

“You cannot see that boy anymore, T— I mean, Morgana” WHAT IS THE NAME YOU WERE GOING TO SAY??? If it’s Titania then I’m so wrong about everything

WHAT IF THIS CHILD IS THE BABY SISTER OF THE HAGS?????? Didn’t they say that the baby’s name is Tasha or something?? So why is she aligned with the Prince and, presumably, Zybilna??? DOES THIS MEAN THE GRANDMOTHER IS THE ENTITY IN THE HUT?????????????????????

Yup. Yup yup yup. So she’s not necessarily with Zybilna, just anti-Jabberwock for some reason. Why????

Well this is giving me some ideas

“Twig belongs to herself. Get rekt.”

“If anything happens to Twig, you will all pay the price.” Uh oh. Something’s gonna happen to Twig again.

OH THEYRE IN AN HOURGLASS. HOLY FUCK

also what if Zybilna and the fourth sister are the same? I think that might be not possible given timelines but still

HOLY FUCK IS THIS BABA YAGA????? (I’m very latched into this Baba Yaga thing but I think it’s right unless there’s someone else who fits the Time narrative better)

THE JABBERWOCK IS HERE

Mace save your 20s!!!!!

Shit man I gotta go to sleep

OH FUCK FROST DOWN

This is gonna be a TPK unless y’all run NOW

Gideon please use your fancy dagger

YUP CALLED IT IT WANTS THE KING OF HEARTS’ CHESS PIECES

GUYS PLEASE CONSIDER MULTICLASSING INTO CLERICS AND OR PALADINS AND OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAN HEAL

Frost is being iconic rn

ARENT JABBERWOCKS A DRAGON LIKE FEY CREATURE???!??!!???!

Okay so Gideon is dead! Great!! Nikkie what’s your rule on taking damage beyond your death points??

THIS THING DOES SO MUCH HOLY FUCK

You guys are not defeating this thing I’m so sorry

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Oh my god. Gideon is dead. Like actually dead. Kremy is down. And Gricko told Hootsie to run. I’m sure he’ll catch up soon. Surely.

Nikkie what the fuck??!?!?! Why would you dread that???? Genuinely this thing is too much for these guys what the fuck is your plan

Oh my god Kremy is going to die

What possibly could they have done to get out of this????? The thing has tracking abilities they were fucked either way—- the only possible way to get out of this thing would be to get rid of the chess pieces quickly but NIKKIE KEPT DREADING THE GODDAMN INT AND PERCEPTION CHECKS

FUCK KREMY IS DEAD. KREMY AND GIDEON ARE DEAD.

They’re not. They’re not getting out of this. They’re all dead.

There’s gotta be a reason Nikkie is going so viciously at this. There’s gotta be some sort of catch or save. Please let there be some sort of save. Please. Please. This has gotta be some sort of nightmare. Please let this just be a nightmare. Please. Please. Please.

Fuck this is literally Frost’s nightmare. This is exactly the situation he saw in the Tunnel of Terror. All his friends are dying and there’s nothing he can do about it. Also that is my nightmare specifically

NOT HOOTISE. COME ON NIKKIE. NOT HOOTSIE.

This has to be a nightmare! Or some sort of dread vision!!!! They’re all gonna wake up at the end of the session and be fine!!!!!!!!

There’s no way that the Jabberwock just comes out and ends then. I know it’s totally powerful enough to do that but there’s so much story left.

Okay. Okay no. No one woke up. There was no dream. No nightmare. No thankful awakening. They’re dead.

I’m still going to hold out hope.

[lestappenforever]

going through the lestappen tag and seeing all those anons in your inbox with a similar take, something has clearly shifted between charles & max. before they were more, awkward around each other but since last week they are more…blatant and confident in their flirting and interactions. idk what changed, i mean the people leaning towards it being for pr have a point but i don’t see why they’d be doing that being that the championship has been won so it’s like they are fighting for one rn and their teams need to keep things cool to avoid a war. and this effort has been 99% on rbr’s side re-emphasizing that yes they are indeed posting lestappen. also i know maxiel is popular too so they could’ve use that for the engagement not use their main rival team’s no. 1 driver. i mean if it’s for pr also why not use yuki and pierre? i mean pierre was with them for so many years so it would go to show that there was no bad blood. why not max and carlos? they have their moments too and carlos used to be in toro rosso with max. why not max and lando? i mean???what is going on? and no it’s not about ea sports because if it was about just racing, there would be race related activities and teasing. yes, there’s a 70% they have a ea sports collab coming up but this is so much more than that. and no, this ask/unsolicited opinion has been sent with my lestappen rose colored glasses removed. the way charles is looking at max and engaging him is something else entirely. and whatever it is, i’m here for it.

psa: i sent this to you because you are the most level headed lestappen blog out here. ilysm jsyk

🌸

I very much agree with your take on this, anon. Something has definitely shifted between Max and Charles recently, and I firmly believe it’s because they both have wanted it to. Their relationship and their interactions have a whole other vibe to it now than it did a few months ago, and given both their personalities and how they are both definitely mostly in charge of their own brands and how they’re coming across, it appears to be 100% genuine. It’s because they genuinely do like and respect each other, and they enjoy each other's company. That much is clear as day on both their faces whenever they’re in each other's vicinity. The change in their relationship, I believe, is entirely organic and genuine.

Now, as for RBR and Ferrari posting Lestappen content on their social media channels lately? Part of my full-time job includes quite a bit of marketing, and over the years I've garnered quite a bit of knowledge about the topic. And one thing that is very important to remember is that any and all content posted to social media channels belonging to big, famous brands such as Red Bull Racing and Scuderia Ferrari is in some way, shape, or form a markering ploy. For those types of brands, there is PR value in just about everything, and the people running those accounts are not idiots. They’ve seen the impact and engagement Lestappen content triggers, and they are absolutely seeing it as an opportunity to profit off of it. But what I do find incredibly interesting about this, though, is that we have no idea why they're doing it. Exactly what their end goal with this type of content is or what it’s building up to, only time will tell. And I, for one, am very excited to see where this will end up going.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, anon. Your brain is a truly wonderful place.

Babe, you are far too kind, and I'm so glad you think my blog is a level headed place! I do try my best to be. There are so many wonderful Lestappen blogs out there, so it’s such an honor that you chose to send this beautiful ask to me. 🥹

I love you, and hope you will have a beautiful Sunday. ❤️

[aintitfierce]

ALIAS / NAME : masha (there was a very brief period at the beginning of my tumblr days when i went by ghostie and referred to myself as The Ghost on occasion, but generally it's always been masha)

BIRTHDAY : april 25th

ZODIAC : taurus and idk much about All That except that i'm supposed to be a stubborn bastard who likes stability and Beauty and. well. that's got my number ig lmao

HEIGHT : 5'4

HOBBIES : drawing and painting, writing/RP, music and singing, cooking, taking cooking classes, shopping, Going Out And About by myself on the weekends (farmer's markets, restaurants/cafes, festivals, etc. i want to do this more often someday hhh)

FAV COLOR : definitely Red. i also enjoy gold, coral, dark teal, pink, brown, olive green, aaaand. idk mustard yellow

FAV BOOK : a little princess ghfihofe the secret garden is a very close second, tho

LAST SONG : this version of JDNT with just backing vocals

LAST MOVIE / SHOW : i don't. really watch things outside of youtube these days. i did watch ryan hollinger's newest video on butterfly kisses earlier this evening. and i am kinda wanting to go to the movies again soon. there's just nothing i really want to see out rn

RECENT READ : do cookbooks count that said i have been wanting to look into getting a library card again. i loved reading as a kid and teen, and i'd like to start again thinking emoji i've been trying to reread i never promised you a rose garden, tho

INSPIRATION : so many favorite tropes............ also an unhinged amount of music, probably

STORY BEHIND URL : it's part of the song beautiful yet truthful, which i learned as a 14-year-old in order to try out for an honors choir (i made it in that year, which is probably why it's stuck with me so much lmao) the full line is "ain't it fierce to be so beautiful, so rarin', tearin' beautiful?"

the narrator of the song goes on to boast about how beautiful, clever, honest, and most of all modest she is without even the smallest inkling of self-awareness lmao given all that i thought it was a Great Fit for pretty vanya here, if. a little obscure hhhh

[number1villainstan]

episode 17, juri and her crazy ex-girlfriend </3

i only feel comfortable calling shiori crazy cuz of spoilers tbh. and she's not even juri's ex-girlfriend

how many colors of rose are in anthy's garden? also the orange rose being associated with juri...what's color symbolism for orange

so juri's "even better now", but miki's wide open unlike himself, character symbolism? i suppose it might make sense for miki to be off his game after the whole thing with kozue. but for juri--is her being better a sign of something in the past or just like--foreshadowing the coming black rose duel? making us scared cuz juri's a good fighter and shiori's probably going to try and leech off her skill or w/e. black rose shit and all

shiori is framed with pale orange roses. obvs a connection to juri, but i feel like the shade is a bit different, what's up with that

i did not expect shiori's voice lmao (i'm watching subbed w/ og japanese voices)

oh, shiori's sitting on a red suitcase, huh? red for anger? red for aggression? red for danger? huh?? huh???

evil elevator time! :)

oh wait no rose-grown-in-darkness time

"a rose may be most beautiful when in bloom, but that's also when its thorns are most dangerous." i don't think that's how thorns work. but also i was wondering when the whole "roses have thorns" thing would be addressed, like it's a pretty big thing about roses, they have thorns, they're kinda known for having thorns. beautiful but dangerous or beauty = danger, ykno

also the fact that it's an orange rose and that mamiya pricks his finger on it. on purpose, according to mikage (and mamiya doesn't deny it). juri being the most dangerous out of the duelists? or at least the most skilled?

nanami is investigating the black rose shit??? and SHE'S the one with the stopwatch this time???? going insane rn

juri with her hand over her heart.....like the symbolism is obvious but gooooooooood

juri alone in the elevator! this is like the first time we see the elevator outside the repeating scenes isn't it?

so Tall Boy liked juri, juri liked shiori, and shiori liked Tall Boy, but shiori was the only one brave enough to do anything about her feelings? damn, they could have been a happy throuple in a better timeline. now juri won't even give shiori the time of day

okay i saw shiori's Evil Elevator Therapy scene that was fandubbed (why her voice surprised me, although i've also seen the dubbed "i'm a car now too" movie scene so) so i know that what she's saying here isn't entirely true, but maybe she's still being genuine...man idk. part of me wants to believe that she's genuine. maybe it's the high, breathy, feminine, vulnerable-sounding voice. although i should probably stop judging people based on voices. but then again voice casting is generally deliberate so--

"i have no feelings for him. not now or ever" well there goes one leg of the hypothetical happy throuple

oh yeah the fallen bird. i remember reading a forum post about it but i can't remember what it is (java something??) or what it symbolizes. and of course the pendant, one of juri's core character traits (past obsession and current burden of the "i want it back = i drag its dead weight forward" variety) symbolized by a golden chain around her neck and a photo secreted away in a locket

"you're just like shiori...so cruelly innocent..." juri is gay for utena confirmed

oh god utena's ranting to akio. fucking akio. "everyone has something they'd rather not let other people touch" OH REALLY. HEY. HEY AKIO. WHAT'S THAT THING FOR YOU. BITCH. i am currently attempting to stab him through the screen with my mind

[also off topic but i just thought about the drawing in the exchange journal, the really childish one of saionji and anthy standing on top of utena--damn they were really showing off his childishness. also i am on-and-off listening to Boney M's Rasputin Club Mix on repeat while on-and-off watching the episode and now i associate rasputin with akio. help]

juri shower scene...why she so triangular, that ain't healthy. girl where are your organs

oh the parasite thing with the rose again! oh! oh shit! the parasite is shiori! and the rose is turning black! and then they're gonna harvest its thorns (use shiori to use juri to kill the rose bride), is that it?

shiori really had orange roses (juri) in the vase on her desk huh. also that bird again, i cannot remember what it is or symbolizes

okay NOW it's evil elevator time

hatred born of jealousy, huh? it does kinda make sense...maybe? reminds me of bakugo from bnha although bnha's character writing isn't nearly as good as rgu

...except then after being triumphant she flips out over juri liking her? shiori homophobic confirmed :/

"your only choice is to revolutionize the world" you always say that mikage and i'm always like 95% sure it's a lie

istg the coffins/corpse drawers move every time. how else do you get one within reach in the same spot for every black rose duelist

so were those shiori's own words or just the black rose controlling her? or a combo of both? and now i get why the thorns specifically, cuz shiori didn't have the black rose showing. ...also somebody got felt up again. damn. maybe you should have listened to miki, juri, that looked painful

shadow girl play--"three pairs of woolen underwear", huh? is this supposed to be an allegory for juri's secret homosexual crush? a strange-but-harmless sort of secret, with plenty of rational harmless explanations (maybe she gets cold easily! or has certain sensory issues!), that could nonetheless invite ridicule?

....damn, that really puts utena's "take them off?" reply in a bad light

oh and the birds again as the symbol on the desks. should have seen that coming.

the duel song being like "i am opposed against myself..." damn i wish i had the time/energy to look at the lyrics properly

oh god are they gonna black-rose fuck juri up again

Oh also, along with writing the December 2023 Monthly Short Piece today, I finally watched the first episode of Revolutionary Girl Utena after days of seeing a moot post about it and--

"I am the Rose Bride. From this day forward, I belong to you."

i am going to murder everyone in this damn school for anthy

[storiesforallfandoms]

how they react when you walk in covered in blood and carrying a gun ~ mcu

request?: no

warnings: swearing, mentions of guns and violence

masterlist (one, two)

*only using the og six plus bucky, wanda and loki because there’s way too many marvel characters rn; also based off of a tiktok by anniedvorak!*

BRUCE BANNER/HULK:

The last person you expected to see when you entered Thor’s room on Sakaar with the intentions of saving him was your boyfriend, Bruce. He had been lost for so long, you had let your heart let go of him. But there he was, stood with a cloth wrapped around his waist after having turned back from the Hulk.

You were tempted to walk back out. This wasn’t exactly how you wanted Bruce to see you - an alien gun in hand and blood splattered over your face and clothes. But it was too late, he was already looking at you with wide eyes.

“(Y/N),” he said, turning to approach you but stopping halfway. You weren’t sure if he had stopped because of the blood or because he was still technically naked. “What are you...what did you...?”

“I’m trying to save Thor,” you responded. “Listen, we don’t have much time. I can explain everything once all of us are off of this planet. Put some pants on, we’re getting out of here.”

~~~~~~

BUCKY BARNES/THE WINTER SOLDIER:

You walked in after a surprise run in with the Flag Smashers. Bucky already looked about ready to kill someone, but when you walked through the door of Zemo’s apartment, blood covering your face and your gun clutched tightly in your hand, his face turned red with anger.

“What the hell happened to you?” Sam asked.

“Flag Smashers,” you breathed in response.

“I’m gonna fucking kill them,” Bucky hissed, abandoning his drink on the counter and making his way to the door.

You put a hand up to stop him. “I think that ship has sailed. This isn’t all my blood.”

Bucky cupped your face in his hands, his face softening as he looked at you. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you insisted. “I just need a shower, and maybe a visit to a hospital or something. They hit me pretty hard, I think I have some bruised ribs or something.”

He kissed your forehead and took your gun from your still shaking hands. Once it was safely put aside, he brought you into the bathroom to help you bathe and to start dressing your wounds.

~~~~~~

CLINT BARTON/HAWEYE:

You were extremely lucky that Clint worked with someone like Natasha regularly, or else he would’ve been much more concerned when you arrived home from work covered in blood and still carrying you gun. He barley looked up from the TV as you walked through the door, immediately racing for your bedroom so you could shower and change.

“Hard day at work?” he called as you passed by.

“That last target they sent me after put up a hell of a fight,” you responded. “By the time I finally got him, I realized how late it was and rushed home immediately. I’m glad S.H.I.E.L.D issues those SUVs with the tinted windows or else I definitely would’ve been pulled over for suspicious activity.”

Clint chuckled and rose from his seat. He walked into your shared bedroom as you were pulling off you bloodstained clothes and throwing them into a pile to be tossed out eventually. His eyes raked over your body as you looked up at him.

“Red looks good on you,” he said, a teasing smirk pulling at his lips.

“That’s gross,” you teased. “You’re gross. Just for that, you can’t shower with me.”

He groaned as you walked into the bathroom and locked the door before he could follow you in. 

~~~~~~

LOKI:

The sly smirk on Loki’s face was enough to almost rid you of the annoyance you felt after what you just had to do. Almost.

You walked up to the panel that controlled his glass cage. You could’ve easily figured out how to deal with it, but instead you shot the control panel. Sparks flew from it before Loki’s prison sprung open.

“Seems like a bit of overkill,” he commented.

“Shut it,” you hissed. “You told me it was going to be easy to break you out. You failed to mention the entire team of guards that were watching this room, and, oh yeah, the team of super humans that were assembled to face you?!”

Loki walked free of his cage, taking a dramatic deep breath before smiling to himself. “Well, doesn’t seem like you had an issue with them, as I knew you wouldn’t.”

He approached you, arms out as if he were going to hug you and try to kiss you. You poked his stomach with the barrel of your gun, glaring up at him.

“Come one step closer and we see how much damage a mortal weapon can do to a God.”

Loki put his hands on your shoulders, keeping you a fair distance away to heed your warning. “I’m sorry for not giving you a proper warning. Thank you for freeing me, I do appreciate it.”

You allowed yourself to relax against his touch and smiled a little. “You’re welcome.”

“Now, let’s get out of here, shall we?”

“You’re doing all the work this time.”

~~~~~~

NATASHA ROMANOFF/BLACK WIDOW:

It probably wasn’t a good idea, but you didn’t know where else to go. Natasha had always warned you about the Red Room, and you were so stupid to not listen to her.

Now you were stood on her doorstep, covered in blood that wasn’t yours, your gun dangling from your hand as you wished to drop it but also too scared to let it go. It was what Natasha looked at first when she opened the door - the gun, then to your blood covered face.

“Put the gun down,” she said, her voice calmer than you expected.

You gratefully allowed her to take it from your hand as you felt tears starting to well in your eyes. She pulled you in for a hug, where you started to sob on her shoulder. She took a quick look around to make sure you weren’t followed before bringing you into her house.

“Go get cleaned up,” she told you. “We’ll figure out your next step together.”

~~~~~~

STEVE ROGERS/CAPTAIN AMERICA:

You showed up to Sam’s shortly after Steve had brought Natasha. You could barley keep yourself up, the fight had taken everything out of you. You were sure Sam was going to turn you away - you were a stranger showing up on his doorstep covered in blood with a gun in your hand. You were pleasantly shocked when he stepped aside and told you where to find Steve.

Poor Steve. He was already trying to help Natasha, who had been in the same situation as you just with a lot less blood. She was resting when you walked in, dazed and just wanting to also rest.

He was up in seconds, reaching out to wrap you in his arms despite the blood covering you.

“The Winter Soldier is one mean fucker,” you breathed, resting your head against Steve’s chest. “I think he finally got wore out and ran off. Unfortunately, I was wore out about an hour before he was, but I kept going.”

“You should’ve given up long ago, honey,” he said.

“I’m not a pussy,” you said with a slight laugh. “Although I am starting to succumb to the pain.”

He picked you up into his arms and carried you to the bathroom where he helped you to rinse the blood off of your body so you could finally rest.

~~~~~~

THOR:

It was a side of you that Thor had never seen before. He had lost you during the battle in Sokovia and was expecting the worst when he couldn’t get you over the coms. When you showed back up to jet, blood covering your tired looking face, he was overjoyed to see you were alright, but also a little shocked by your appearance.

“Those fuckers really thought they had me,” you said, a half laugh bubbling on your lips. “They were a little shocked when I got the upper hand on them. Even more shocked when I shot them dead.”

“I was worried for you, (Y/N),” Thor said, cupping your face in his hands as he approached you. “I truly thought they had taken you from me.”

You smirked up at him. “You really have no faith in me at all them, do you? Or you just underestimate me. I’m a little offended on both accounts, though.”

Thor smiled back at you. “Of course, I would never doubt you. Just a bit of fear is all.”

“When you two are done being gross,” came Tony’s voice from inside the jet, “we’d like to get back to the tower. I think (Y/N) needs a shower and a fresh change of clothes more than anything.”

~~~~~~

TONY STARK/IRON MAN:

“Miss (Y/L/N) incoming Mr. Stark.”

“Tell her to come back at another time, J.A.R.V.I.S, I’m busy right now.”

“I don’t think it can wait, sir.”

Tony looked up to see you walking through the door to his lab, your body trembling as you clutched the gun tightly in your hand. There was a splatter of blood over your shirt and some on your face. You looked up at him, looking like a helpless child.

He quickly walked over to you, his hand automatically reaching for the gun. You gladly let him take it, feeling like a weight had been lifted the moment the weapon was out of your hands.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I-I was attacked at-at home,” you stuttered. “I don’t know how they got in, I don’t know who they were. I walked into my house and was blindsided by these two men trying to attack me. I got the gun out of the hands of one of them and I...I...”

Your hands moved to mimic the action of shooting your attackers, but you couldn’t actually bring yourself to say you had done it. You didn’t want to admit to having shot anyone, even if it was in self defense.

Tony placed the gun aside and took you into his arms. You stopped fighting against the lump that had formed in your throat and began to sob into his chest. He ran a hand through your hair, calming you down.

“It’s okay,” he said, soothingly. “It’s alright. I got you now. I won’t let anyone else try to hurt you.”

~~~~~~

WANDA MAXIMOFF/SCARLETT WITCH:

You didn’t think of Tommy and Billy. You didn’t think about the perfect neighborhood Wanda had created. You didn’t even think about Vision, or the version of Vision she had created. Your only thoughts were getting to Wanda before Hayward and his people could.

She was horrified when she opened the door. Of course she was; you were stood at her doorstep, a ghost from the life she wanted to forget, holding a gun with blood splattered on your face.

“You have to get out of here,” you said before she could speak. “You have to break down that boarder and you need to get out of here now.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, her voice still in its sitcom mode. “Please leave before I call the police.”

You grabbed hold of her shoulders before she could walk away, startling her.

“Wanda, you have to listen to me. You know what’s happening here because you are controlling it all. I know that, everyone outside the Hex knows that. Including the S.W.O.R.D director Hayward, who is trying to break through your barrier right now to kill you. I know you don’t want to lose this perfect life you’ve made, but your are in real danger. You need to get out of here.”

It seemed like she was understanding. A hurt look passed over her face as she turned to look into the house where her perfect family was likely residing. She took a deep breath and turned back to you.

“Let’s go.”

[softguarnere]

Hi there! I am in Florida, and at this very moment, trying to dissociate from hurricane Ian that is beginning to hit my town. 😬 So I figured I'd distract myself by asking for ships. If you see this elsewhere too, I just...don't like talking about myself very much so I'm only writing this once.

She/her, INFP, Hufflepuff. 5'2, generally pale, curvy, but not overweight (yet, lol), blonde hair (but it's currently The Little Mermaid bright red, lol), blue-green eyes. I love my hair and my eyes and this is the only thing you'll ever hear me say I like about my appearance.

My favorite thing about myself is my sense of humor. And to a lesser extent, my sarcasm. I never really feel I have much to offer people, especially in difficult times, but I can make my friends laugh when they are crying. And a few weeks ago one of my good friends said to me that every time she goes home after spending time with me, her husbsnd says she is always in such a happy mood. And that was just like...the nicest thing anyone could say to me. 💜 I am an introvert until I am comfortable with someone and then I can be loud and frequently silly. Years of customer service in my past made me decent at bullshitting small talk, but ugh, it drains my batteries. I will get along with anyone who isn't an asshole, but I do not get close to most people easily. I don't like conflict, so I can get passive aggressive with people I'm close to if I have any issues over something. Trying very hard to change that, as I know it's not a great look.

Other random shit about me: I have anxiety, but (I think) I've learned to hide it well in public most of the time? My brain is just a fucking mess, but I will joke about it all day! 🙃 I love all animals. I'd cuddle an alligator if it wouldn't eat me. I've got cats, dogs, rats and a bunny. I've wanted a horse my whole life. My favorite author is Neil Gaiman. I love going to the beach and swimming in the ocean. I love museums and history and learning about lore/fairytales/monsters/cryptids. I love Marvel movies/comics, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. I occasionally do conventions and cosplay, though I'm not very good at the cosplay bc I cannot sew. Lol. I've been Rose and Amy from Doctor Who and Kate Bishop (Hawkeye). It's really fun! I wish I were better at it. Love bowling and mini golf. Sadly, none of my friends do.

I love music and going to shows used to be my thing! Like I've seen over 100 bands and concerts. I don't have the time/money/energy to do it anymore, but those were absolutely the best years of my life. I've traveled to other states and across the country for a couple of bands (The Matches and Motion City Soundtrack) and made some of the best friends just waiting in lines. I have one tattoo and it's a crow with a blue button eye that the singer of my favorite band drew for me.

I'm gonna shut up now. Lol. Sorry I got carried away. I'm REALLY trying to distract myself from thinking about this hurricane rn. Thanks in advance if you made it through the rambling and decide to do anything with it. 😁💜

Hi love! I hope that you're doing well -- my thoughts are with you and everyone else in Florida 💕

I ship you with . . .

Lewis Nixon!

There are so many reasons I see this ship working, so I'm gonna try to explain them all coherently lol

Okay, first of all, when I say Nixon loves you, I mean all of you -- your personality, your looks, everything. He would constantly be complimenting your appearance and making sure that you know how gorgeous you are, because he wants you to see yourself the way that he sees you

Sarcastic duo (but not in a mean, argumentative way! The fun, only teasing each other way) He loves your sense of humor, and if he's ever a little too in his head, he comes to you because he knows that you'll be able to ground him by just joking around with him and making him smile

When you first meet, he thinks that you're very shy and is trying to figure out ways to bring you out of your shell so that he can get to know you better. The second that you get comfortable around him -- bam! He's the immediate embodiment of the heart eyes emoji, because omg she's so much fun and I'm gonna talk to her for hours

Nix is pretty comfortable in public places -- he grew up attending parties and galas because of his parents, so he knows how to politely work a room if he has to make an appearance. He knows that you get anxious, though, and he'll hold your hand the entire night, gently rubbing his thumb along your knuckles to soothe you as you make the rounds while socializing

After the war, Nixon is really intent on just enjoying himself -- in the various different ways that entails. And now that you're together, he's gonna make sure that you enjoy yourself, too

He takes you everywhere (and don't worry, because he can afford it -- no worries about sparing any expense) You want to go to a museum? Not really his scene, but he loves watching your face light up all day when you learn something new. You want to go to the beach? He's rented a boujee house for the week. You want to go to a concert? Front row seats. Everything is an adventure, and what's better than having an adventure with someone you love?

At some point, he thinks it might be nice to settle down somewhere. Or at least to have a nice place to come back to. You're a little surprised by how big the property he buys for this purpose is, and when you tell him so, he just smirks, "Well, where else are we gonna put the horses?"

You didn't get carried away at all, darling! Again, I hope you're doing well 💕 Thanks for the request, and I hope you like this 💕🕊️

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[jae-daddy]

Duff (4)

jaebum au series

one / two  / three / four / five /  six / seven / eight masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now plot:  you are the duff, and guys use you to get close to your bestfriend, turns out jaebum was no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your bestfriend’s unoffical boyfriend grows  a/n: it so late, I'm literally seeing double rn... hope y’all like it! <3 not edited. 

Life is brimming with lessons that teach you how to live without being naive and a fool. 

You were already taught a few lessons by life, as it made you jump through endless hoops burning with malicious flames waiting to scorch your skin at slightest touch. 

So you found it fair to hold yourself as intelligent and mature. 

Therefore, you trusted your conclusion to ignore whatever happened in the elevator with Im Jaebum. 

What was said, what was done; none of it mattered. 

An important lesson you’ve learnt is people say and do crazy things when they are riding high a shot of adrenaline. 

Jaebum’s near-death experience led him to say things that he would not on a normal day. It was only because he was scared that he did. And everyone wants to die an honest man. You were certain if it were Paul in the elevator instead of you, Jaebum might have confessed something outrageous to him too. 

So that was not the reason why you were staring at the two males in front of you as they spoke absolute nonsense to you. You already knew not to take what happened in that tiny metal box seriously. Instead, it was another life lesson you knew that made you stare at them as if they had grown two heads: everything has a price. 

“Not everyone gets an opportunity like this, y/n,” Paul spoke, a second away from begging on his knees. 

You shook your head in distaste, this was not part of the plan. Actually, there was no plan, but if you had one, this would definitely not be it. This was not how you imagined your lottery internship to turn out. 

“Paul, I am flattered the company believes me to be capable of such an important role,” you breathed, trying to keep a polite smile as your eyes bounced between the bald man and the smirking jerk. “However, I do not think I would be suitable for this role. I made it clear in my internship contract that I will not have my studies affected by this opportunity. Unfortunately, being the secretary of the -”

“I’m sorry to stop you, y/n,” Paul cut you off, not apologetic at all. You bit your cheeks to hold back a sneer. “We have thought about this through, and believe it to be the best plan of action to take right now. Mr Im is new to this company and is temporary, and while we have made a public announcement, he is still on trial.

“We could get someone in a fixed-term confidential contract, but that’s too complicated.”

Your brows furrowed as you disagreed with that, but you didn't say anything. 

“The remaining time left in your contract and Mr Im’s trial period match up perfectly. You already have secretarially role in the company, so you already know the ups and downs, the tricks and tips, so we really believe this is the best way. And about your studies, the summer break began last week. However, if you believe this to be in violation of your contract, we will compensate.”

“Compensate?” You rose an eyebrow, payment would be better than slaving away for free. 

“Pay you, just like any other employee,” Paul smiled happily. Finally seeing some indication of interest from your side. He added, proudly, “with all employee benefits.”

You bit your lip in deep thought. 

You mentally weighed the pros and cons. 

There were pros, so many pros; a better resume, money, free coffee and healthcare, etc. But the con, the big con stared at you in bold, italics, highlighted in large red fonts: you’d be working for Im Jaebum. 

If this was someone else you would have said yes the moment they offered it, even without the benefits. But with Im Jaebum, things got complicated. 

You weren’t sure if he could maintain the professional relationship between the two of you. And if you were being completely honest, you didn’t know if you could maintain it too. 

Even now, with Paul standing at one end of the table, and Jaebum settled on the long side. Your mind couldn’t help thinking about how short your skirt was, and how easy it would be for Jaebum to bend you over the wooden table, and make you a moaning mess. 

It would be quite difficult to maintain professionalism when you’d be spending time alone with him. Or maybe, he would use his position to make you suffer. He might end up not coming to work at all, have you do all his work, and just show up to sign and show his face. 

So much could go wrong with working for Im Jaebum. 

And you also had to consider the fact that you hadn’t talked to him since the elevator incident. 

You haven’t been to Heather’s place, too busy with the piled up assignments all due within the last two weeks. The twenty hours of weekly internship didn’t give you any freed up time either. You didn’t get an opportunity to see Heather, or her boyfriend, Im Jaebum, to have a talk. 

“Oh come on, y/n,” Jaebum smiled at you, making your blood boil instantly. This was the first thing he said to you in the past two weeks and somehow managed to be an arrogant shit-eater when he did. Your glare didn’t make his smile falter as he sang, “It’ll be fun.”

No way. You thought. There is no way you would be able to work for that self-centred, cocky, incredibly hot jerk. 

“We’ll cover your fees.” Paul stopped you before the no on the tip of your tongue tumbled out. You stared at him in shock, as he looked at you expectedly. 

“My university fees?” You asked, shocked.

“Yes, all of it.” He nodded. 

That’s a lot. 

Your eyes fell on Jaebum who smirked at you as if he had the whole entire world at his feet's disposal, and maybe he truly did. He had something similar to that power if the company was willing to go to such extents to make him stay. 

The pros were really starting to outweigh the annoying, irritating con.

“Fine,” you licked your lips, with a sigh. “I’m in.”

Paul almost jumped in his place with excitement, “Thank you, y/n! Thank you so much!”

Paul walked out swiftly muttering something about going to the HR and having a contract formed immediately. Your eyes followed him as he left, remaining on the doors that closed behind him.

You could feel his gaze burning the side of your face, and it truly felt as if you were about to combust. 

“What?” You snarked, turning towards him annoyed. 

Jaebum just snickered as he swirled side to side, carefree, on his chair, “Why are you always so mad, love?” 

You rolled your eyes getting up, “I guess this meeting is over.”

“I didn’t dismiss you, y/n,” Jaebum said, stopping his playful actions. 

“You’re not my boss until I sign that piece of paper, so,” you gave him a middle finger with a tight smile before walking out the office. 

You could hear his light laughter follow you, but you ignored it. 

You stopped in your tracks as you remembered something and entered the room once again. Jaebum looked up at you, surprised, before smiling brightly, “Welcome back.” 

You cursed yourself for returning after such an amazing exit, but there were more pressing matters than your pride. 

“Have you told Heather about what happened?” You closed the door behind you, making sure no one could hear you. 

Jaebum’s eyes danced with amusement, as he shrugged, drawling, “What happened?” 

“In the elevator, Jaebum,” you gritted through your teeth as you stepped closer towards him.

Jaebum’s smiled only grew as he frowned with feigned innocence, “I can’t seem to remember, maybe if you could help me remember.”

His lazy gaze fell to your lips before meeting your eyes again. A spark ignited deep inside you, and you told yourself it was anger; it was an annoyance. 

You clicked your jaw as you smacked your hands onto the desk, leaning over it. Jaebum watched you, carefully, not intimidated a bit, only amused. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, before you smiled sweetly, “You were holding my hand and crying like a child.” 

Jaebum hissed, unaffected, as he tsked, “I can’t seem to remember that.” 

“Did you tell her or not?” You groaned, your annoyance at peak. 

What you would do to this man if you got a chance. He wouldn’t be smiling like that, he’d be begging you for forgiveness, for release. 

Jaebum smirked as if he could read your mind, “No, I didn't.” 

“Good,” you nodded, gulping as his eyes watched you with unsettling darkness. “Don’t.” 

He rose his eyebrow, before nodding, “As you wish, y/n.” 

You turned and felt his gaze watch you as you walked out. You felt it lower, watching your hips as it swayed side to side. Your hand gripped the cool handle as your shoulders sagged slightly. 

You let out a low sigh, “Thanks.” 

You disappeared behind the door before Jaebum could reply. 

“Babe!” Heather sang as her long limbs fell over you loosely. You laughed, as you helped her sit straight. She leaned against you again, snuggling her face into your neck as she hugged you, “I love the way you smell, baby!” 

You chuckled as you patted her red matted hair soiled with glitter and sweat at the back of the Uber, “Thanks Heather, I like how you smell too.” 

“Don’t lie,” you could hear her pout, and it only made you smile. “You always make fun of my feet.” 

“But that’s only after the gym or a hike, Heather,” you told her, as you brushed the hair off her face. 

Heather was completely wasted tonight. 

She was already drunk by the time you walked into the club. Jaebum wasn’t anywhere to be found, and you found her with a group of her “friends” that you didn’t like. 

They would always make her drink too much, give her a little white sugar, and let her waste her platinum card on those low lives. 

You didn’t like the way the guys would touch her as she slumped back onto the couch unable to see straight. You didn’t like the way the girls sitting around would not help her, instead, encourage her to be worse. 

You were mad when you were pulling her away from the crowd and towards the bathroom when you had found Jaebum. He had just got to the club himself but was ready to leave as soon as he saw the state Heather was in. 

He sat on the other side of Heather, holding her purse, as Heather held you from the middle seat. 

Heather mumbled something in return and you couldn’t understand it. 

“By that red letterbox is fine,” you told the Uber driver as he slowed down. 

Jaebum got out first, and you helped Heather onto his back before getting out. You turned to the driver, giving him a small smile, “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good night,” he said, already accepting a new ride. 

“You too,” you said, as you closed the door. You turned to Jaebum, with Heather hanging her head over his shoulder. Her long ember curls falling down his chest as he grunted and halted her up. 

“Woah, stop,” Heather moaned, heaving. 

Jaebum looked at you with terror in his eyes, and you laughed at him, “Come on, let’s get this party animal into bed.”

“Is this where you live?” Jaebum asked as you led him up the small walk to the door. 

You snorted and shook your head, “No, this is Heather’s home.” 

Jaebum rose his eyebrows, and you continued, as you unlocked the doors, 

“Her parents don’t live in this house anymore, so Heather skips between here and the apartment.” 

You turned the lights on and took in the home that greeted you. 

“They love sure love red, huh?” Jaebum commented, taking in the red couch, red feature wall, and red details spread over the living room and kitchen. 

You laughed at that, agreeing with him. The Blacks sure did take pride in their red-haired heritage, and didn’t hide the fact that it was family’s favourite colour, “Mrs Black was going through an interior design phase.”

“Thank god it was just a phase,” Jaebum snickered, making you turn to him with a pointed look as you tried to hide the smile. 

“She wasn’t too bad,” you replied and began walking towards Heather’s room. 

Jaebum followed behind you, grunting as he adjusted Heather on his back, “No, she was just too red.” 

You rolled your eyes as you opened her bedroom door and walked towards the bed. You pulled down the covers and Jaebum gently set her down. You took off her shoes, and earrings carefully. 

Jaebum didn’t say anything and just watched you as you walked around the room getting out her nightshirt, and face-cleansing products. 

“Why are you looking at me, Jaebum?” You asked, not looking at him. Instead, you pumped out the cleanser on a pad and gently took off the makeup from her face. 

“Is there a problem?” Jaebum asked back, making you snort. 

You gently turned her face and began the other side, “Yes, it’s making me nervous. I can feel you judging me.”

He was probably thinking what everyone else seemed to think when they saw you and Heather. They never saw the whole you both had for each other, how you would do anything for one another. All they saw was Heather in all her brilliance, beauty and wealth, and you, as her second, her side-kick. 

“I’m not judging you,” he replied instantly. 

Something about the way he said it made you believe him. You bit your lip, as folded the dirty make-up pads and put them on the side table.

“Then what are you doing?” You took a wet towel, wiping her face. You patted it dry and misted some toner and moisturiser. You turned back and met Jaebum’s eyes that remained on you, “Why are you looking at me?”

“There’s nothing else to look at,” he simply shrugged. 

You rolled your eyes and pointed to the wall covered with photos of Heather through the years. Most of them had you in them, celebrating every holiday, and some photos from random days when the sun was shining brightly. 

Jaebum stared at the wall as if noticing it for the first time. He got up and slowly walked up towards it. He took in the photos for a while, a small chuckle leaving him sometimes, “How did you two become friends?” 

You smiled at the memory, “She saved me.” 

You stared at your gorgeous friend, as she got up slightly. She searched around, her eyes disappearing as she smiled spotting you, “Oh, you’re here, y/n. I was going to the store on Wednesday.”

She trailed off, falling back into her pillow dozing off again. 

“Her hangover is going to kill her tomorrow,” you turned to Jaebum with a tight smile, as you held up the nightshirt, “I’m going to change her.” 

Jaebum instantly turned on his heels and walked out, closing the doors behind him. 

You walked out to the smell of coffee and Jaebum sitting at the kitchen counter with two mugs in front of him. You furrowed your eyebrows as you settled on the chair in front of him, “Is this poisoned?” 

Jaebum snorted rolling his eyes. 

You blew the coffee before sipping it. It was still searing hot, so you placed it down on the counter, and turned towards Jaebum. 

You took in his midnight hair pushed back, revealing his forehead. You didn’t know you could find someone’s forehead so sexy, but after seeing his hair down while he was at work, you had to admit it was hot. His piercings that were normally missing during office hours had returned too, a few missing. 

You frowned your eyes focusing on his nose and eyebrows, “Why aren’t you wearing all your piercings?” 

“It’s a nuisance putting it on and off,” Jaebum shrugged, before pointing to his lips, his tongue coming out to flick the sliver hoop, “Just wore my favourite.” 

You held your breath, as the image of the cool metal against your lips, flicked by your tongue, gently tugged by your teeth invaded your mind. Your cheeks heated but you continued like nothing was happening to your body. 

“Do you have piercings anywhere else?” 

Jaebum smirked, “If you’re into pierced nipples, I can get them done for you.” 

You groaned, a ridiculous smile on your face as you shook your head, “Can you ever have a conversation without being a prick?” 

“A prick?” he gasped, “that’s a bit harsh. I would say I’m more of a flirt.”

“Oh, so you know? This is a conscious decision. You wake up every day and decide to be the bane of my existence.” 

“I do wake up every morning and think of you,” Jaebum smiled at you. He chuckled, seeing you roll your eyes at him. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you snorted. Jaebum simply shrugged, smiling. 

Something beeped from the kitchen and Jaebum got up. You watched him walk over to the stove and turn it off. He reached for a mug before looking through the drawers for something. 

You narrowed your eyes watching him, “What are you looking for?” 

“Uh... a strainer?” He turned back to you, scratching the back his head. “I don’t know what it’s called.” 

Your heart melted at how adorable he looked standing there, confused and unsure. The smile on his lips was so beautiful as he watched you, waiting for you. 

“The second drawer over there,” you pointed, not looking at him as your cheeks tinted rosy again. 

Jaebum murmured thanks, before using it to drain the liquid from the pot and into the cup, “It’s a hangover tea. My mum makes it for me every time I get too drunk.” 

“You live with your mum?” You asked. Jaebum peered back at you a small smile on his lips. 

“Yeah, but I rarely ever get to see her.” 

“Why’s that?” You frowned. The way Jaebum talked about her, the lightness in his voice and the softness of his smile, told you how much he adored his mother. 

Jaebum shrugged before giving you a cheeky smile, “My house is too big.” 

You laughed at that. You were not expecting that at all. You heard Jaebum’s low chuckle as you sobered up. 

“What about you?” He asked as placed the cup onto a tray with a glass of water and two tablets he found next to the refrigerator. “Do you live alone?”

“Yup,” you nodded, before frowning, “Not even a pet.” 

“No pets?” He asked, sympathetic. 

You nodded, “I’m scared of animals. It doesn’t matter what size, or how well-trained, or what the animal is. I am terrified of them all the same.” 

Jaebum gasped as if you had confessed to a murder, “What is wrong with you?”

“Wow, I thought this was a safe place,” you mumbled before taking a sip from your coffee that had cooled down. You hummed at the taste, he made good coffee. 

“What about your parents?” Jaebum asked, making you stiffen. “Where do they live?” 

You remained quiet. 

You opened your mouth to tell him what you always told anyone who asks. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed or thought it was something to hide. You didn’t want people in your business and telling them to mind their business when they asked only piked up their interest more. 

So you opened your mouth to tell him what you’ve been telling everyone for the past five years, “I don’t live with them.”

Normally you would follow up with something about living here was better for your education or future jobs. You would say something, an excuse, that was reason enough for many young people to move out of their parents home. But what you said surprised you, “I don’t talk to them anymore.” 

“Oh,” was all Jaebum said. “That’s cool too.” 

You peered up at him with a frown. You took in his relaxed gaze, the smile on his face just like it there was a minute ago. There was no sympathy, no pity. There was no spike in interest or anything. 

He really didn’t want to pry. He didn't want to know why unless you told him. He only took as much as you could allow him. 

Suddenly there was an iridescent pond shimmering in your chest. It swirled, making your whole body feel alive as you took in Im Jaebum. It felt as if your entire body was one cell, one tiny speck of dust caught in the breeze of Im Jaebum, and it didn’t mind. 

You gulped, your body and mind acting quicker than you could control, “They couldn’t stand the sight of at me after they found out I was still doing something I promised I wouldn’t do anymore.” 

The faces of your parents appeared in front of your eyes. The shock, anger, the disappointment on their face as they found you lying in a pool of your urine and vomit. The horror in their eyes, their desperateness as they shook your body, pleading for you to reply. 

“They didn't kick me out. I left,” you ran a hand through your hair, as you let out a heavy sigh. You thought of the letter you wrote them, the way they had cried when they came to the hospital to meet you during those months, “I couldn’t hurt them anymore.”

“Do you think you would ever go meet them again?” You looked up to Jaebum watching you. You were thankful for the lack of pity in his eyes as he kept his gaze on you. 

You sighed again, and it came out as a little laugh, “One day I will.” 

You nodded, as you met his eyes. He smiled at you softly, and you smiled back as you scrunched your nose to stop the tears from threatening you, “When I am good enough, I will.” 

“I hope that day comes soon.” 

You didn’t realise Jaebum had come this close to you as you were talking. He leaned against the counter between you, his eyes intently taking you in. He folded his hands on the dark marble, his face leaning half-way over the counter. 

You watched him back. 

He was so beautiful. 

You huffed out a smile as you shook your head at him. Jaebum instantly changed, leaning back, the playfulness in his eyes glinting once again as he rose an eyebrow in question. 

“You’re not too bad, you know?” You smiled at him, before adding, “When you’re acting like a normal human being at least.” 

Jaebum laughed at that before giving you a mocking smirk, “You’re not too bad yourself, y/n.”

You grinned about to say thank you, when he added, “When you’re not acting like a stick is stuck up your ass at least.” 

“What an asshole,” you shook your head, laughing at him. 

Jaebum beamed back, his eyes shining, “What a bitch.” 

You took in the dark flecks in his eyes. You noticed their velvety blackness absorbing all light around it, but something else existed in those captivating eyes of his eyes. They didn’t get dragged away into the twilight of his gaze.  

Instead, it shone brightly. It glistened, it was golden, white and sparkled like a starry night. It dragged you in, it made you want to lean close to him. 

It made you want to place your lips on his and see how that shimmering halo swirled as he pulled you in closer. It made you want to reach for him, to place your hand on his soft cheeks. It made you want to walk around the counter and hug him in the middle of the kitchen littered with red embellishments. 

Jaebum’s smile curled into an easy smirk as he winked at you before turning around. He picked up the tray with a cup of tea, a glass of water and Panadol, as walked towards the door the red-haired beauty was sleeping in. 

Everything had a price. 

Somewhere deep within your heart was a corner buried so deeply in the darkness you had forgotten it existed. The room was cold, dark, and there was nothing. Nothing except for a lone candle standing in the middle of the emptiness. 

There had been nothing there for an eternity, and it was almost like magic. It almost felt like a trick of the eye, but then it happened again. 

A flame, a spark, flickering at the tip of the candle; it sparked again. 

This time it caught on. It burned, slowly getting brighter and livelier. 

You watched Jaebum disappear behind the door of Heather’s room. 

A sharp ache twisted your heart as you saw his broad back enter the dark room she was sleeping in. 

The flame spreading over the wick twisted in shades of ember, their shadows dancing over the room. 

You saw a word, you saw a face. 

You knew the price for this feeling tugging, craving to grow bigger in your heart. You walked into the room, hidden in a deep corner of your heart. The ivory trail of your dress dragged on the dusty floor, turning brown with every step. 

You didn’t look at the walls, you didn’t take in the shapes of the flames. 

You took sharp, clear steps. You reached the candle, the flame reflecting softly against you. You closed your eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled, blowing out the candle. 

The flame was gone. 

The candle extinguished, the room engulfed in darkness, once again.  

You looked to the wall, the photo was no longer there but the image there was burnt into your mind. 

The price of this feeling was too expensive. 

It was too precious, and you couldn’t afford it.

[carbootsoul]

omg please talk about saionji and utena and i want to know ur thoughts

ack anon i am. kissing u on the mouth rn thank u so much for asking !!! a fair warning before i write anything else: i have a stupid and inexplicable amount of affection for saionji kyouichi and this response will probably be kinda biased toward being understanding of him. don't get me wrong he is still very much a bad person throughout a lot of the series BUT he's also 17. anyway this got long bc i have many thoughts so its under the cut

my big thought about the two of them is that they're foils for each other! both to illustrate utena's good qualities and to point out what went wrong with saionji.

the main place we see similarities between them is their feelings toward both anthy and touga. saionji and utena are the only duelists to duel FOR anthy as a person rather than the power she wields. they're also the only two people that touga ever expresses unguarded affection toward, the only people with him in the church scene, the only people who reject him (other than nanami, whose rejection is more complex imo), and the two targets of his manipulation in season one. wakaba refers to them both as her prince and they both express at least the potential to be friends with her, they're both dragged into some kind of relation with akio through someone they're close with (saionji only for a few short scenes but the camera one does make me a little queasy), they're the only duelists to lose a duel and then rechallenge the winner. they're also the only characters to be "expelled" (not quite textually in utena's case, but the girls at the end of the last episode speculate that she was expelled for "getting in trouble with the chairman"). finally there are some vague thoughts i have about saionji's rose being a very pale green, which is a complimentary color to pink (while his hair is a deeper green, mirroring touga's red hair).

in terms of their personalities being similar it's mostly just the fact that they're both jocks and they both do the baffled face a lot which i think is fun from them both :) same 'interacting with nanami ever' expression. the two BIG things they have in common personality wise is their tendency to insist that their view of the world (especially!! their view of what is good for anthy) is correct, and obliviousness (especially to their privilege and the way it acts on other people, especially anthy). utena grows out of both those things, though, and they're two of her main points of character development throughout the series.

obviously, the differences between them are quite a bit more obvious. saionji is mostly used (especially at the beginning of the series) to contrast utena and to provoke her into protecting anthy. he's abusive, controlling, and cocky where she is... just cocky, and only sometimes. saionji is less aware of 'adult things' than utena (in some ways he's more childish than nanami- the scene that comes to mind is the one with the exchange diary, where utena worries that saionji is making sexual advances and saionji obviously has no idea what she's thinking. tbh i hold that saionji didn't really know what sex was before his car scene which is both funny and v upsetting to me). saionji is unwilling or unable to change the parts of himself that harm other people (or unaware of the effects of his actions) whereas utena, throughout the series, constantly does her best to be a better person and i love her so. so much. not-prince of my heart. also he has green hair and she has pink hair :) also he sucks so bad

anyway now that i've established their similarities and differences, here's the heart of my argument!! at their core, utena and saionji are very similar people (the church flashback rly illustrates this imo but maybe thats just bc children r all similar) but, because saionji grew up with power that utena didn't, he's. uh. who he is. (his eyes are purple, a color associated with akio's control. akio.. uh. patriarchy man.)

saionji's role in the show isn't just as the personification of rape culture, but as a statement on what the patriarchy DOES to teenage boys who don't notice their privilege. he is quite obviously less aware of his power than touga or akio are (they both use sex as a power tool, and both take advantage of the fact that they, as men, have power in most situations. saionji also takes advantage of this but it seems much less conscious on his part- again the scene with the exchange diary comes to mind. he is looming over utena-as-anthy but not in an attempt to scare her, but just bc he's found that when he is big and tall, people do what he want). this is shown especially in what we see of saionji when he's staying with wakaba! he's a much better person when he doesn't have this institutional power as close to his fingertips, even when he's unaware of this lacking. he goes back to being a douche the second he leaves, to, which is where his personal problems come into play.

saying that saionji is how he is just because he was born into privilege is way more forgiving of him than the narrative is or i would be, because the other bit that contrasts him with utena is his unwillingness to see or acknowledge his privilege. the fact that he's unaware of the bits and pieces of society that come together to give him that power over anthy doesn't absolve him, because he still takes advantage of the fact that he can do whatever he wants to her and he never tries to understand why. he sees that if he's engaged to anthy she will love him unconditionally (what he's looking for throughout the series) but he never tries to connect the dots between the power he has over her and the fact that she says she loves him. a scene that i think is rly interesting is the one in touga's last few episodes where touga and utena are talking and saionji comes and lies down in anthy's lap- it's such a small thing but i think it does a really interesting job summarizing his character! he actively seeks out affection/the love he wants from anthy and, because of the power he wields, she gives it to him. he's content with this, because he refuses to see the power dynamics that make her let him nap with his head in her lap. he allows himself to keep the safe blanket of his privilege, even when it hurts everyone else. utena sees that she has power as the rose bride's fiance and she (eventually) works against the powers that be to change that.

anywayyy that was a lot lol and im not sure it makes a ton of sense??? but those r what i've been thinking about! really it boils down to like. saionji would be a much better person if he took a feminist theory class with a completely open mind. and then he and utena could be friends :) the other thing it boils down to is that both utena and saionji's best and worst characteristics are being stupid as fuck BUT utena tries to learn and saionji refuses to. thanks again for sending this ask!! i hope my response made some sense haha

[woogyu]

46.“Somehow, i always seem to end up here. With you.” | “Soulmate shit, it’s hardcore as hell.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

requested by; @carat4boo​

notes; so it’s 3 am, can’t sleep, and I couldn’t stop thinking about this request SO HERE IT IS. I LITERALLY ALMOST CRIED WRITING THIS, BUT IN A GOOD WAY I THINK.

possible tw; mentions of strict parents, lovers angst

wc; 1346

Drabble Game Requests | OPEN (but VERY VERY slow 24 requests in my inbox rn) | Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny

»»————-　♡　————-««

1800s, London, England

As a princess your value came from your marriage. It was never about you, it was about the match your father could arrange. Your desires were not taken into account, and you knew this. That’s why you took care when visiting him, if someone found out you would be punished and he would be hung. Your exchanges were brief and framed under the cover of darkness. He was the secret you never dared breath and the light illuminating your suffocating world.

“Princess” a familiar voice greeted you from the shadows of a sunken window. You turned quickly toward the sound, a smile breaking onto your features as Seungkwan flooded your vision. He was a simple stable hand, nothing flashy and certainly not suitable in your family's eyes. The two of you never should have happened and yet everyday you found yourself falling further and further in love.

“I’ve told you many times to dismiss the formalities” you reminded him, moving to sit with him on a small bench tucked along the wall. Your fingers nervously smoothed along the front of your gown, always anxious that someone would discover you.

“My father intends to marry me off to some nobleman. He has been conversing with many families to find the most advantageous match” you grumbled a little bit, allowing Seungkwna to draw you in against his side. Even outwardly displays of affection such as this were foreign to you. They caused your heart to hammer unevenly against your ribcage.

“I would have to leave the palace… which would mean leaving you” a sigh fell from your lips as you looked up at him, brows drawn together in concern. He reached up and smoothed away your wrinkles, his lips curling up into a gentle smile. He regarded you with such softness that it made you wonder what exactly he saw in you.

“A gift” he interrupted your concerns, reaching behind him to pull out a striking red rose. He handed it to you and slowly ran his fingers over the petals. Leaning in so that his face was near yours, he began to repeat the same words he did every time you raised these concerns.

“My love, circumstances may separate us but the universe will always draw us back together. There is nothing that can keep me from you. Maybe it won’t be in this life, or even in the next, but someday. We are destined” he told you with such certainty that you had a hard time not believing his words. Maybe you wouldn’t be unable to find happiness with him in this timeline, but you trusted his assurance that someday it would come.

“I’ll love you through this lifetime and every one that follows” you promised him in a hushed whisper as his forehead pressed into yours.

“As will I” he assured you, his fingers rubbing soothingly against your knuckles.

»»————-　♡　————-««

1960s, New York, New York

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, you will NOT marry that boy y/n” your mother promised, locking the door to your bedroom as you threw yourself onto your bed.

Just because Seungkwan had gotten into some trouble, your parents thought he was some bad influence that would corrupt your innocence. They never listened when you explained that you had never felt so loved, so cared for in your entire life. 

“Psst, heard a little lady needed a jailbreak” Seungkwan whispered outside your window, winking when you looked up startled. Grinning you moved toward the window, watching as he silently picked the lock.

“My dad threatened to kill you if you ever showed up here again” you reminded him, rolling your eyes at the care free lopsided grin that overtook his features. The lock was opened within seconds and you were pulled into a breathtaking kiss.

“I guess you’re just worth the risk” he spoke after pulling away, his voice breathy and disheveled. Taking his hand you followed him out the window and down the side of the house.

“y/n, if that’s you sneaking out again I’m calling the cops on the both of you” you heard your mom yell from inside, causing a giggle to bubble up inside you.

“Guess that’s our cue to run” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling him onto the sidewalk. The two of you raced to a nearby park, laughing as you slowed down to catch your breath.

“You’re crazy” you told Seungkwan, he was risking so much just by showing up at your place. He would get jail time if your mom’s threat had any truth to it.

“Crazy for you” he responded with a grin, twirling you around as you walked through the rows of flowers. Giggling you reached up to stroke your hand along his cheek.

“For you, my lady” he announced dramatically, bowing as he held a freshly picked rose out to you. Smiling, you reached out and accepted the flower, twirling it around in your fingers. This felt too familiar and it was nagging at your brain.

“Somehow, I always seem to end up here. With you” you commented, eyes focused on the flower grasped in your hand. You couldn’t shake the familiarity of this, of him and external forces that kept you apart. You wanted nothing more than to run away and marry Seungkwan and he graciously entertained your little breakouts. The two of you knew that whatever you had what limited to stolen moments. You couldn’t run away, and your family would never approve of him.

“Soulmate shit, it’s hardcore as hell” he answered cheekily, poking your shoulder as the two of you settled on a bench. His demeanour told you that he was attempting to lighten the mood, but you were having none of it.

“When do we get to be happy” you demanded, eyes stinging as tears threatened to overflow. A sadness settled over his features as he reached out to stroke your cheek.

“Darling, you’ve made me happy in every single life we’ve shared. Destiny has yet to write our love story” he gently cradled your cheek and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“I’m willing to wait a thousand lifetimes if it means I get to spend just one loving you” he breathed causing your heart to melt and tears to flow. Destiny was a bitch, but you could not change the flow of time, no matter how much you wished you could or how hard you tried.

“I’ll wait for you. However long it takes” you echoed his words, fingers tangled into his hair as if he would fade out of existence in front of your eyes.

»»————-　♡　————-««

2018, Los Angeles, California

“You may now kiss the bride” you heard the voice call out, causing the entire room to erupt in cheers. You were not paying attention to any of that, your thoughts, your mind and your lips were all full of Seungkwan. You kissed him like your entire life had led up to this moment, and in a way it had. Multiple lifetimes lead you to where you are now, and while not all of them were pleasant, it was worth it for this. This lifetime with Seungkwan made up for everything. You finally understood why destiny took so long with your love story. Seungkwan pulled away and looked down at you like you had hung all the stars in the sky.

“I have loved you through thousands of lives, but in this one I promise that I will make you the happiest person in the entire world” he breathed, his thumb slowly drifting over your cheek. It had been lifetimes of waiting, but you would do it all over again to end up right back here, promising yourself to the only man you have ever truly loved.

[ohmyasmodeus]

𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 ☼

first of all, @smolomon​, i hope you know that i would die for you. effective now. if you want me to take a bullet for you i seriously will, thank you so much !! and thank you for your patience, i know this request has been sitting in the drafts for a hot minute, but i really wanted to make sure my writing was top notch because this is one of the best requests i’ve received thus far. i hope you love this imagine as much as i do ♡

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘳

✧   You never believe people when they say that heaven is a place on earth, but standing with Lucifer on a deserted train platform waiting for the train home, bathed in golden light… you think you finally understand. You can’t help but laugh softly at the irony. Lucifer had visited you in the human world and spent the entire day with you, and the date couldn’t have ended in a better way.

✧   “What is it, love?” Lucifer murmurs as he pulls you close with his arms around your waist. Here, neither of you have to worry about affecting his reputation, and he showers you in affection freely. The sunset’s light illuminates his face brilliantly, falling on his strong cheekbones and making his lashes appear golden.

“I’m going to miss you...” you sigh. You gently bring your hands up to cradle his face, watching as his eyes gleam a vibrant scarlet as the light hits them.

“I’ll be back before you know it. I promised to take you to that museum this weekend, didn’t I?” The smile Lucifer gives you— the overwhelming love and all the sweet promises behind that smile make your heart ache, and he starts to sway the both of you gently as he talks. “But… I’m going to miss you too, _______.”

And you know he will. Despite the distance between the both of you, despite the dignified front that he has to put on around people, Lucifer is just as obsessed with you as you are with him. You know it and you feel it in the way his breath catches in his throat when he marvels at how gorgeous you look in the light; the way he holds you close while watching the sun set past the city’s skyline, slowly casting the both of you in brilliant crimson and golden light. There is nothing that needs to be said between the both of you. Your train rushes into the platform, and the moment is over in the blink of an eye, but Lucifer hugs you tight one last time before letting you leave. His gloved hand runs down the length of your arm as he lets you go.

You want to watch him watch your train drive by, but the wistful look he gives you as you leave is too much to leave everything simply unsaid. You find yourself rushing back to him and nearly tackling him as you fall into his arms almost desperately, looking up at him as you clutch the front of his coat to say, “Kiss me, Lucifer.”

And he kisses you without hesitation; without consideration for the people around you, without the need to hide just how in love he is with you. His hands are on your hips, pulling you closer, wanting everyone on the platform to know that he is eternally yours.

Heaven is a place on earth; any place at all with Lucifer.

♡ 𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯

✧   hey, come over [received, 6:45pm]

✧   like rn [received, 6:46pm]

✧   Mammon seems disgruntled as you pull him onto the roof of your apartment building, and you have to hold in a laugh. You know your sudden text might’ve made him expect something completely different from being hustled onto a roof while holding a small stack of tupperware boxes.

“Oi, what am I! A slave?” Mammon whines as you direct him to set the boxes down on the floor. Crossing his arms, he pouts as he watches you set the picnic cloth down with a flourish, close to the barred railings of the rooftop. “Ya can’t just call me up and expect me to be at your every damn beck and call!”

“We have a pact, so I kind of can. Now shush and eat.” You pinch his cheek with a laugh, before pulling him down to have a seat with you. It’s obvious how much he missed you and continues to miss you every moment the two of you are apart, so even with his whining, you have to show him some love and lean your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around your waist instinctively to keep you as close as he possibly can, even as he rolls his eyes and grumbles.

Like a painting, the pale blue sky slowly shifts to gentle hues of rose quartz and dandelion yellow, and Mammon is completely enraptured. Completely thrilled in his silence, he grins as he watches the sun sink behind the hills that frame your city. If it wasn’t for you bringing the spoon up to his lips every so often, he would’ve let his food go cold in its lonely tupperware box. You find yourself enraptured as well, enchanted by the way his eyes light up and eventually flick to gaze at you.

“Ya never get to see anything like this in the Devildom… Never thought I’d call humans lucky, but shit.” Mammon’s voice is quiet, as if speaking any louder would frighten the sunset off and make the moment disappear. “It’s beautiful.”

Your heart can’t contain itself, and you laugh softly as you lean into his side and feed him another spoonful. “Just like you.”

“That’s my line…” Mammon grumbles, but there isn’t a hint of heat behind his words. Instead, he takes off his jacket and drapes it across the both of you, settling into your warmth as the evening chill starts to set in. Eventually, you’ll manage to wiggle into his lap and talk about the deepest parts of yourselves while trying to count the stars, completely unafraid to be true; but for now, you give him a kiss and quietly watch the greatest sunset of your life with your favourite person in the world.

♡ 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯

✧   Littered with reminders of him, your car is Leviathan’s favourite place to be. On days where you manage to wrangle him out of his room, he loves following you around as you run your errands in the human world and, much like a satisfied puppy, ends up waiting in the car with his Nintendo switch. (It makes you get the urge to place a sign on the door telling everyone that your snake of a boyfriend has the air conditioning turned on and has the window cracked open.)

✧   “Hey, look!” you say, trying to catch Levi’s attention. Aside from a noncommittal murmur from the demon that lays his head on your chest while the both of you snuggle in the backseat, your comment receives pretty much no acknowledgement whatsoever. You end up having to knee Levi to get him to look. “Babe, look out the window!”

Levi sighs, and sets his switch down on his chest. He shivers slightly in pleasure when you run a hand through his hair. “The sky’s just purple.”

“Just keep watching,” you tell him as you continue stroking his hair. Shades of lilac dominate the sky, fading off into a deeper royal shade struck through with bolts of gold that scatter throughout the clouds that pass. It all reminds you of him, the amount of charming personality he hides in the comfortable obscurity of his bedroom, the amount of secrets he reveals only to you. Levi watches in quiet contemplation that swiftly turns into fascination, especially when the stars start glimmering through the pale clouds.

“Woah!” he exclaims. “That’s so unreal! You guys get to watch stuff like this every day?”

“Most people don’t bother looking away from their screens for long enough to!” With a teasing laugh, you pinch his cheek and wrap your arms around his waist to snuggle closer into him.

“H-hey! Leave me alone!”

“I didn’t say I was talking about you! Are you admitting to something?” As Levi struggles in your grasp, you bury your face in his neck to blow raspberries that have him giggling, cheeks turning red as he tries to tickle you in return. You want to do this with him every night, you want to see him blush as you tease him… You want to give him all the affection you can, cuddled up in the backseat of your car for as long as he can stay in your arms.

♡ 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘯

✧   Soft grass tickles your skin and makes you smile, but what makes you smile the most is the way Satan tries to hide his blush with his book as you guide him to lay his head in your lap. The grass patch the pair of you settle into is a great change of pace from spending time trapped in the tomb-like library that Satan’s bedroom had become, and it’s all too easy to accidentally end up spending the entire day there together.

✧   “This is nice,” you hum, running your hand through Satan’s silky blond hair, ruffling it gently like the breeze ruffles the greenery that surrounds you. “I can actually breathe.”

“But at what cost…” Satan mumbles with a half-baked attempt at sounding dissatisfied. He blows away a cute bug that had found its way onto his leather bound book, which flits away, catching your eye with the way the fading sunlight catches on its gossamer wings. You fully know that Satan enjoys the setting as much as you do, and you kiss his forehead as you chuckle.

The time you spend with him is wonderful in its tranquility. The both of you understand each other, and understand that not all time needs to be spent talking. You revel in the quiet moments where his unspoken love washes over you with the way he holds your hand, or gazes at you quietly with a loving softness before returning to what he had been doing before. You love the way he loves you. You love the way he blushes when you show him any kind of affection, as if unused to the vulnerability of receiving genuine outspoken love.

The gilded light falls perfectly on Satan’s face, making his pale lashes look almost delicate while the sun sets before you. The sun slowly dips behind the rolling hills, and Satan gasps softly as he watches the shades of red set the sky ablaze behind sparse mist-like clouds.

“I’ve read about plenty of sunsets… but there are no words in any language that could capture something like this.” Satan’s voice is full of an innocent kind of wonder as he speaks, one that you have rarely heard him express. The many kinds of happiness that Satan expresses daily, though seemingly real, are all nuanced masks that the cynical demon skilfully applies— but the adorable crinkles under his eyes and the shamelessly wide grin makes it obvious that this is genuine happiness. He notices your silence and reaches a hand up to caress your cheek. “What are you thinking about, ______?”

“Just how I want to be like this forever with you.” You lean into his touch and lean down to kiss him with a radiant smile that matches his.

Satan manages to laugh softly this time, relaxing into the soft displays of affection with you, though his faint blush refuses to fade. “I think I’d like that.”

♡ 𝘢𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘶𝘴

✧   Dates in the human world aren’t dates if they don’t include having dessert at the most stylish bistros in the city. Not to Asmodeus, at least, and you can understand. They might be expensive at times, but these cafes offer the best food for the both of you to feed each other over the table, and are perfect for a million different photo opportunities that help Asmodeus let everyone who follows him know that his life is so much better than theirs.

✧   Which is why you’re surprised to notice that not once has Asmo demanded your help in taking photos after the sun had begun to set. Through the wide windows of the bistro that you sit beside, the sunlight filters through in a mix of pale golds and pinks. It’s the perfect opportunity for yet another set of pictures, but Asmo just sits happily, chattering on and asking you questions about yourself while he sips his milkshake.

“But it’s so tacky, isn’t it! Like, stop involving yourself in drama and get a life!” Asmodeus huffs, and you could laugh at his hypocrisy.

“Ugh, you’re so cute.”

“I know.” Asmo winks and slides his hand over the one you rest on the table to gently hold it, resting his chin on his free hand as he gazes at the way the sunlight paints your skin in gorgeous crystalline shades. His amber eyes are akin to those of churchgoers that gaze up at stained glass depictions of the saints in their adoration. It makes you blush, the way he smiles at you like you are his entire world, and quietly takes in your beauty.

You laugh bashfully. “You feeling okay? You haven’t asked me to take pictures of you at all today.”

“We have all of eternity to keep taking pictures of me. I just wanted to focus on you today, ______.” Asmo’s voice softens as he says that, and he takes your hand to kiss your knuckles with complete devotion. “You’re beautiful.”

“Ah… you really think so?”

“I’ve never seen a sunset before, but as stunning as it is, it’s still nothing compared to you, love.” Asmo’s smile is as gentle as the warmth the sunlight makes you feel as it falls upon your skin, and the love he showers you with is so familiar in its all-encompassing glow. Despite his sin, you never have to fear not being enough for him. He reminds you of it in so many ways every single day, and it makes you blush and return his gentle smile. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”

You can’t believe it either, and it makes you laugh quietly as you pull him by the collar into a sweet kiss over the cafe table, tasting the sugary sweet strawberry milkshake on his lips. It’s so him, and every little thing about Asmo just makes you crazier for him.

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘻𝘦𝘣𝘶𝘣

✧   The neon lights of the carnival are blinding, the laughter from having so much fun around your favourite person in the world making your stomach hurt, but you simply can’t stop. Especially not when Beelzebub carries you on his shoulders while running around the place and through the funhouses with childish glee. Your hands tangle themselves in his hair as you giggle and kiss his head, watching the sun slowly sink from the top of the world.

✧   Beel is trying to fix your hair at the end of it, sticking his tongue out in concentration while the both of you stand on the boardwalk, cooled by the seaside wind. It makes you giggle at him even more as you hold the cotton candy that you had bought to share.

“Where does your parting go again?” Beel mutters. “Left or right?”

“It’s fine, baby,” you chuckle, and tiptoe to kiss the tip of his tongue, resting your hand on his chest. It makes him give you a goofy smile around his tongue before he pulls it back in. You swear you feel your heart melt. “But thanks for trying.”

Under your hand, you feel Beel’s heart still wildly beating, and you’re not quite sure if it’s from the adrenaline of winning so many games and riding the rollercoasters, or if it’s from something else. You know that your heart is definitely still racing, but mostly because of the proximity between the both of you. The sun is setting past the horizon at this point, and you see it clearly slip halfway below the waves. The waves almost bleed crimson with the sky, and gold scatters across the waves as they crest over the horizon.

“______…” Beel’s voice is quiet in its awe. You feel his hand hold yours as he watches.

“Right?” You say, leaning into him. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” He’s almost too distracted by the sight to take a nibble of the cotton candy, but of course he does, and you smile at his courtesy. He always saves some of his food to share with you no matter how hungry he can be. “It’s just like you… You’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met before. Special. And you’re really beautiful, too.”

“Even with my hair like this?” You can’t help but giggle some more. He always does this to you, makes you feel a lightness and a warmth that you’ve never felt before around anyone else.

Beel kisses your head, and then leans down to kiss you, smiling against your lips. You feel the sticky sugar of the cotton candy on his lips, and you can’t stop yourself from smiling into the kiss too.

“Even with your hair. No matter what you look like, I want to be yours.”

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘨𝘰𝘳

✧   You don’t know exactly what makes Belphegor visit you so much, considering the fact that he does the same thing in the human world that he does in the Devildom— sleep so much that he hardly pays attention to you.

✧   Complaining is easy, but you know that he can’t help it. Belphie tries to stay awake and do fun things with you when he can, and when he can’t, he’s always pulling you into bed so he can cuddle up with you and still dote on you in his own quiet way. You like that about him.

Belphie’s silky hair reflects the light that streams in through the windows, the faint orange and lilac hues dancing across him and casting shadows on the sheets, and you can’t help but press the softest kiss to his forehead.

“Wake up, Belphie,” you whisper. “Dinnertime.”

“Mm.” He shifts in the sheets and reluctantly opens his eyes with slow, sleepy blinks that make you want to shower him in all your love. Giving you a squeeze, he sighs and buries his face in your neck to hide from the light. With a bit of coaxing, you get him to sit up in bed with you, the both of you still swaddled in the comfortable covers as you lean into each other drowsily. Even in his sleepy state, you’re irresistible to Belphie. His hands wander slowly across your skin as he pulls you into him, the both of you quietly watching through the window as the sky turns brilliant shades of violet, the sun setting behind the buildings in the distance.

Belphie moves languidly. He rests his chin on your shoulder while mumbling, “Would you look at that.”

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” you sigh. “You’d get to see stuff like this more often if we actually went out when you visit.”

“Mm, but why would I go out if I could keep you all to myself here in bed?” Belphie’s voice is accompanied by his chuckling, and you can’t help but blush and nudge him with your elbow.

“You sound so gross.”

“You love it. You love me.” Belphie laughs and finds your hand to hold underneath the covers, and he holds you as close as he possibly can, nuzzling his face into your neck once more. You feel him leave the softest kisses on your skin as he intertwines your fingers in his. “...I love you, ______.”

Complaining is easy, until you’re reminded of moments like these with him, where life is simply too perfect to be real.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[punkscowardschampions]

Ruby & Cosmo

Ruby: Dying to know is every date colour coded? ❤️

Cosmo: Oh, God 😅 How unintentionally cringe

Cosmo: That sums up how well it went, sadly

Ruby: the quick reply had me thinking you were back early or answering in the middle of dinner

Cosmo: 🤫

Cosmo: I’d never!

Cosmo: It was a favour and I think that showed

Cosmo: She’s my cousin’s friend and just got dumped, sweet girl but perhaps not ready to be great company

Ruby: explains the 🌹

Cosmo: Not very personal or too basic?

Ruby: a nice try if it was your first date ever but I know it’s not

Cosmo: Thank God I didn’t get another bouquet 😏

Cosmo: They weren’t buy one get one free though, before you say

Ruby: they looked expensive

Ruby: she would’ve felt guilty throwing them back in your face

Cosmo: I told you I weren’t texting under the table, why would she need to?

Ruby: you told me why, they’re impersonal & basic

Ruby: & heartbreak makes you unhinged

Cosmo: I wouldn’t call her unhinged

Cosmo: at least not to her face, right

Ruby: 😅

Ruby: or your cousin’s

Ruby: Are you staying out in town or going home to change?

Cosmo: I don’t fancy showing up in the club in this

Cosmo: never mind hearing what my friends would have to say

Cosmo: What are you up to?

Ruby: the VIP area has seen worse, you don’t look like you raided the Gucci sale rail, eyes closed

Ruby: & your friends have worn worse, but I won’t say it to their faces

Ruby: I’m waiting for my own friends to be done making their own questionable outfit choices as usual

Cosmo: Careful, that was almost a compliment and not just a drag of the lads

Cosmo: not undeserved on their end but what did I do to make you decide to be nice to me?

Cosmo: besides entertain you with my dating woes whilst they redo their makeup, again

Ruby: You know how to dress, it’s a fact

Ruby: & I didn’t decide to be nice, it just happened

Cosmo: Not that you’re not usually nice in general

Cosmo: but here I am, feeling special, like 💖🤩

Cosmo: It’s also a fact, though not an impressive one, that I’m not lame enough to go in for that negging bullshit, so whatever I end up doing, calling you a bitch ain’t on the agenda

Ruby: there you were down in the dumps about your disaster date, I thought I’d try to help

Ruby: I wouldn’t, it only works for Mason when everyone’s too busy watching his feet move to care about his mouth & that’s not the audience you’ve got atm

Cosmo: I think I’ll survive

Cosmo: but I appreciate it

Cosmo: I’ve seen him get in trouble for his mouth plenty of times on the pitch

Cosmo: but referees aren’t ones to be sweet-talked so…

Ruby: your expensive roses are wasted on them 🥀

Cosmo: That is the real tragedy 💔

Cosmo: I reckon 🍷 could work on your dad though, whaddya think?

Ruby: aren’t we beyond bribes? I thought we were

Cosmo: You don’t have to go up for contract renewals

Cosmo: but I was joking, so don’t tell him he’s on a promise there

Ruby: oh yeah, it’s a joke you being worried you won’t get renewed

Ruby: he doesn’t shut up about you after a few 🍷’s with your dad

Cosmo: Sorry you’ve had to witness/hear that

Cosmo: can’t help my case

Ruby: it wouldn’t be realistic to entertain you or let you entertain me if he wasn’t on board

Cosmo: No?

Ruby: secrecy & sneaking around would be impossible unless we could both drop what we were doing at a moment’s notice, which we can’t

Cosmo: True

Cosmo: Neither of us has the time for that

Ruby: or the anonymity

Cosmo: You aren’t wrong

Ruby: 💖🤩 back at me?

Ruby: you’re being agreeable, above & beyond the Sunday roast standard you set when everyone was listening in

Cosmo: Agreeable from you I can take

Cosmo: I didn’t know any of you guys were going to be there, so if I wasn’t on top form

Cosmo: I’d love to have a second chance to do it better, of course

Cosmo: Somewhere more exciting than family dinner

Cosmo: and no impersonal and basic 🌹s

Ruby: I’d love to skip the club tonight, it stopped being exciting forever ago

Ruby: there’s your chance

Cosmo: Alright

Cosmo: I’ll make something happen and I’ll send you the place and the dress code

Ruby: pastel colours wash me out

Cosmo: What kind of place would be pastels only? 🤔

Ruby: [name drop somewhere boujee that you’ve been probably with your mum and godmother lol]

Ruby: you wasted the ❤️ on the wrong girl 💔

Cosmo: She wasn’t wearing red

Ruby: it was never going to work out

Cosmo: That might be for the best

Ruby: tbd

Ruby: but I’m not feeling like I’ll cry or talk about any of my exes so it’ll be better for you

Cosmo: And for you

Cosmo: not that you’re letting me be impressive with a bar that low but you know

Ruby: you’ll get over or under it if you want to

Cosmo: If I couldn’t rise to the occasion your dad definitely wouldn’t stand for it

Ruby: I won’t either

Cosmo: tbd

Cosmo: I heard

Ruby: another girl has beat me to denying you everything, I have no choice but to switch it up to keep things interesting

Cosmo: Has hard-to-get worked since the days of negging?

Cosmo: You’ve got all the choices, and no need to play any sort of game with me

Cosmo: Let’s have a good time

Ruby: it might have worked for people who want a different reputation than I do

Ruby: that’d wash me out too, the whole projection of intense cold bitch energy

Ruby: a good time is more doable

Cosmo: It wouldn’t get you very far, I understand

Cosmo: We all have to be some type of way to get to where we need to be

Ruby: yeah & talent has to be backed up with 😁✨

Cosmo: A winning personality, of course

Ruby: if I don’t have that both of my parents & coach are going to lose it, definitely

Cosmo: Well, you don’t need to worry about that, from my perspective

Ruby: from my POV neither of us will be worrying until the alarm wakes us early tomorrow & it’ll be too late to stress it by then

Ruby: the good time’ll have already happened

Cosmo: I’ll drink to that

Cosmo: [something that’s between the restaurant moment we just took Savannah to and the normal clubs they would go to, idk what that would look like, like a club that’s a bit sassier than the beyond standard ones footballers and WAGs would hang in]

Cosmo: but I won’t start without you, like

Ruby: not counting the 🍷 if the 🍝 soaked it up

Ruby: but what do you want me to wear? 🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎

Cosmo: ❤️ off the table then

Ruby: the bar hasn’t fallen through the floor, I’m not okaying you wearing the outfit you chose for her & me dressing to match it

Cosmo: 😅 I’ve gone home but alright

Cosmo: I want to see what you come up with, actually

Cosmo: I’ll show you I’ve got better than the jumper, don’t worry

Ruby: I’ll do better than a roast with the fam, talk about a low bar

Cosmo: I think you’re probably incapable of looking bad

Ruby: try keeping me up all night & you’ll see

Cosmo: I won’t be the first or the last to show up to practice feeling less than 💯 … are all the other ice skaters perfect 😇s?

Ruby: I’m not giving any details of who isn’t, you’re a date down tonight as is, I’m not getting ditched for someone even more 😈

Cosmo: About how that looks

Cosmo: ‘cos I know

Cosmo: We aren’t going to post anything are we?

Cosmo: I’m not looking to add to the poor girl’s 💔 and I know it’s a dick move to not even wait ‘til tomorrow

Ruby: 📵

Ruby: getting into a fight with your cousin over me is even more Romeo & Juliet than sneaking around behind my dad’s back, we all know how it ended

Ruby: drama in the routine is fine but off the ice it’s not cute

Cosmo: Drama on the pitch depends how you feel about diving

Cosmo: but I appreciate that

Ruby: how I feel about diving depends how much my brother has got to me & I want to get him back for it

Cosmo: 🟥 or 🟨 depending on the day

Ruby: 🟥 usually

Cosmo: I feel that

Cosmo: about my own, usually, not necessarily yours but I can see the how and why there too

Ruby: yours made an impression, not at all good

Cosmo: That’s his speciality

Ruby: 😬 brothers bring the mood down when they’re ours

Cosmo: Neither of them’s invited

Ruby: it’ll make a change not to see mine out

Cosmo: That’s unlucky

Ruby: but you’re on to a winner with the location, congrats

Cosmo: I had a good feeling

Ruby: I’ve got one too

Cosmo: 💖🤩

Ruby: a compliment to last until I get there

Cosmo: tbd 👋

Ruby: ❤️

Cosmo: [so obviously this night is gonna go better than the awkward date, though that’s not hard soz Savannah, but also a step above the standard club moment of every weekend hence we stay out longer than we usually do when we’ve got an early start tomorrow]

Ruby: [and equally as obviously if you found enough to talk about when you were around all your annoying relatives for that roast I’m not worried about you struggling for a convo tonight, you’re both cute and have things in common and there’s clearly a vibe]

Cosmo: [I don’t think anything needs to happen tonight but it’s obvious you like each other ‘cos you could both be bothered to show and do this]

Ruby: [agreed it feels legit to who you both are and your priorities to wanna take things a bit slower than that, like it’s clearly unlike her already to do this when you were literally on a date earlier and staying out later than planned is also something neither of you do a lot so]

Cosmo: [yes, we’re not that kind of boy, not saying you’ve never slept with anyone obvs lmao but we’re not a different gal every weekend energy at all]

Ruby: [likewise neither calling this gal a nun or a slag but I doubt she's been out with that many people cos of a) her busy schedule and b) the lowkey famous dad and brother thing that would make some lads wanna try it on for that reason]

Cosmo: [exactly dr phil, you wanna skip to the AM of it all?]

Ruby: [absolutely boo]

Cosmo: 🟥 or 🟨 for keeping you out past your bedtime then?

Ruby: Are you willing to take credit or am I blaming a messy friend’s man troubles?

Cosmo: That depends

Cosmo: we would have to find a friend we’d mutually not mind throwing under the bus and I’m not sure if my brain is capable rn

Ruby: it wouldn’t be taxing to mine to think up someone believable, if you’re keen to show up to my door with 💐 & fool my dad that it’s the first move you’ve made

Ruby: for rep’s sake

Cosmo: The 💔 is all around

Cosmo: a hangover will have you feeling that way

Cosmo: are YOU keen for me to show up at your door with 💐s, that’s the real question here

Ruby: I’ll start getting hangovers when I’m old, it’s a scare tactic before, not a real thing

Ruby: impressing my dad doesn’t necessarily impress me

Cosmo: 😂

Cosmo: That’s alright, I already have impressed him, so it’s definitely not my intention here

Ruby: let’s hear what your intentions are

Cosmo: Now you’re bragging about how un-hungover you are

Cosmo: How about you let me set up a second date and we can talk about it then?

Ruby: a brag would have a selfie attached, I was reassuring you I’m not suffering mild alcohol poisoning like most of our friends

Ruby: a second date for when?

Cosmo: I’m pleased to hear it

Cosmo: it doesn’t make for a pretty sight

Cosmo: [pisstakey shot of some of the lads dying in the changing room or wherever like ew lol]

Cosmo: Send me your calendar and I’ll see?

Ruby: 😬 lovely [but send him something similar of the girls obvs and then your calendar of course, I’m cackling because what if the only time they can both do is tonight so that looks really extra when you’re both not]

Cosmo: They’d kill us for that 😏

Cosmo: [we so could, lmao okay]

Cosmo: Well, it looks like either we double down and go for tonight or we give it a rain check and see in a couple weeks 🤔

Ruby: tonight works for me but it’s you who’d be doing the work to think of somewhere else with wow factor

Cosmo: Undefeated with two wins sounds a lot better than one

Ruby: yeah & I don’t want to talk about weeks on the bench

Cosmo: Be a bit of a dirty tactic to put the blame on you for not going out with me tonight if I get benched but

Cosmo: If it works I’m not above it

Cosmo: So, what kind of place are you looking to avoid tonight?

Ruby: do we need to avoid anywhere or flash photography? your cousin & the girl they forced you to date can’t stay mad forever

Cosmo: No, we don’t have to

Ruby: 💖🤩

Cosmo: Understood

Cosmo: I’ll get back to you

Ruby: 🚫🍷🥃🍸🍹 can be tonight’s rule if you need a break

Cosmo: I don’t

Cosmo: I just needed to know what you want to do, and now I do and I’m thinking

Ruby: I know you don’t need it to have or be fun, me either hopefully

Cosmo: I think you’re fun

Cosmo: and it’s definitely tragic if you have to rely on something like that, that’s not me

Ruby: it’s nobody I know or would count as worth knowing

Cosmo: Totally

Cosmo: Okay, I’m going on the pitch, send you deets later

Ruby: don’t mess up or I’m going to cancel tonight & I don’t want to so that’ll be us both in bad moods 😘

[gertstarlight]

a kiss out of envy or jealousy 😳😳

i’ve gotten too many requests asking for a jealousy kiss so i stayed up til 4:30am to write this!! pls forgive the spelling/grammar cuz i am literally sleeping rn

send me more prompts!!

Loud bustling sound of classical music flowed through the tannenbaum wedding. The warm haze of the sunlight escaped behind the buildings in Blue Valley as the small string lights made their presence known. Sweet smell of foreign roses and tiny cakes breezed past Beth as she stood near the alter. She had always wanted the classic wedding but the heroism put a dent in those plans. The flowers patterned her flowy blue dress as she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Elizabeth Chapel, haven’t seen you in a couple years!”

Beth turns to see who it belongs to and immediately recognizes her childhood friend, Dean Harrison.

“Well yeah cuz you moved away to Germany after fifth grade,” her voice bold as ever, “how have you been, Dean?”

“Good actually yanno I’ve had time to adjust after what like 5 years but enough about me, are u doing good in Blue Valley and all?” He had the same chipper mannerism as her.

“Of course!! Blue Valley isn’t the same without you but the town has adapted to the absence of your beaming smile,” Beth held her wide smile and started catching up with her old friend.

Quiet footsteps reach where Beth stood and stopped behind her, giving her a soft nudge. She turned mid conversation to see Rick holding the drink she was waiting for. He put them down on the tall ledge beside the altar they were standing beside.

The tall blonde haired stranger spoke to Beth in a suspiciously friendly way. Well, everyone spoke to Beth in the kindest tone but this guy was ticking all the boxes on Rick’s Red Flag Checklist. He said sweet words to her and made her smile, maybe that’s why Rick disliked him.

The stranger responded to Beth’s optimistic remarks, “wow big words coming from the Blue Valley’s brightest smile champion.” Rick watched the two sync up in their amusement.

“There was a competition for the best smile?” Rick let his tone gain some edge as he questioned the other boy.

“Well yeah it was an inside joke Beth and I had when we were practically babies,” Dean said still laughing along with Beth.

That stupid laugh checked another one of Rick’s boxes and he felt the annoyance take over.

Regaining herself from the laughter, she spoke for the first time since Rick showed up, “ we were seven, Dean and it wasn’t even a real competition!”

“Ouch,” Dean says as he fake stabs his fist into his heart, “that really hurts, how could you hurt me like that?” Goddamn his laugh was starting to bug Rick.

“Woooow you were always the dramatic one,” said Beth as she joked around with the foreign friend she once knew.

“Yes that’s because you were always so realistic and needed some fun sarcasm,” he laughed and put a hand on Beth’s shoulder to balance the two of them as they continued to laugh.

Rick felt the heat burning up in his chest, just watching some other guy hold on to Beth the way he always wanted to. When she asked him to come to her aunt’s wedding, he let himself believe it would be the moment they fall for each other. Beth’s platonic wording didn’t stop him from deluding himself. He would go anywhere with Beth as long as he was with Beth.

The slow anger fizzled around in Rick’s mind as he sighed along to the stranger’s colourful words. Rick clearly did not come here for the food or the beautiful ceremony so when the one reason he was here for was flirting with some dude, he was sure as hell upset. Knowing Beth, this was just a casual conversation to her but to that nameless guy, she was probably the sweetest person to exist. Wasn’t she just the sweetest to everyone though?

She snapped him out of his lovelorn looks with a quick introduction. Although, Rick just wanted to act polite and hold a solid conversation, his rage got the best of him. He let a few sarcastic comments slip into the conversation and not-so-patiently waited for this Dan dude to walk away. Realizing how weirdly protective he got over his best friend, he calmed himself by taking a few sips from his drink.

Just couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances and wanting to speak in sweet melodies to the wonderful human sunshine. The love struck emotion is the least familiar to Rick Tyler but the sound of Beth’s voice made him want nothing more than to dance away the night. He shivered at simple thought of her ever returning those feelings that drive him wild. All he wants is to just steal her away from the lights of this romantic lighting and pull her into the steamiest kiss.

“Hey Rick, you ready to go?” Beth’s delicate voice makes him realize he zoned out again.

“Uh yeah sure, let’s get you home,” he muttered, letting his hand slip around her shoulders.

•~•

Needless to say, they do not end up home. They left the dancing strangers and fairy lights of the wedding behind. They walk lazily on to the Blue Valley bridge as Beth tells some silly anecdote with Rick’s suit hugging her shoulders. His hand still lay around her as they both stumble around the little sidewalk on the bridge overlooking the suburbs.

Beth switches the conversation to small talk, “the wedding was actually really sweet and the little flower centrepieces were matching the bride’s dress and it was all so detailed.”

“Uh yeah weddings are great,” Rick’s less than enthusiastic tone threw her off.

“Rick is something bothering you?”

“No I’m just tired from all that dancing.”

She throws him a classic pleading look, which is all it really takes for him to confess his inner monologue.

“Actuality Beth, I have to tell you something,“ he starts, hesitantly.

“You’re not the biggest fan of Dean, I get it he can be quite the optimist”

“Um no that’s not my problem with him”

“Then what it is ?”

Rick struggles to tell her the real reason he wants to practically never see Dean ever again. He settles for a generic answer to stop Beth from questioning him further.

“Forget it Beth, doesn’t matter anyways”

She takes stops walking and let’s him face her. The curiosity was gonna bug her until he was honest with her.

“Wait i don’t wanna forget it if it’s clearly bothering you,” her voice was serious and a little nervous.

“Just drop it Beth,” his voice was just serious.

“Yanno passive aggressiveness can’t be your solution to not talking about your feelings,” she said as she stood on the bridge facing the man she thought would be honest with her.

“It doesn’t matter,” Rick said dismissively.

“Rick, I don’t want you to have to keep ur feelings hidden deep inside. At least not around me,” Beth’s kind voice was the only sound he ever wanted to hear.

Rick just looks at her w lovelorn eyes but his lips slip out a different tone, “can we not talk about this anymore I’m sick of telling you how I feel all the time.” The harshness in his words never reflected how he felt about her. He never wanted to taint her perfect brightness with his dark inner horrors.

Eyes twitching and lips pursing, she said, “you know what Rick, I am SICK OF YOU SCREAMING ALL THE TIME!” Beth clearly got the memo and let her anger come out.

“WELL IM SICK OF U THINKING U CAN JUST GET IN MY WAY AND CALM ME DOWN,” Rick’s volume matched hers as he took a step forward.

“WELL IM SICK OF U GETTING SO CLOSE ONLY TO PUSH ME AWAY!” Another step closer than they had been before.

“YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IM SICK OF BETH?” his voice tunes down, mirroring the beat of his heart, “the way you don’t feel the same about me.”

That was it. Every single emotion Rick had ever felt about Beth was just out there, lingering in the air and hanging over his head.

She takes a minute to process the words he just breathed so close to her lips. Cursing their subconscious mirroring of small steps that brought them so close together, Beth looked at him. She couldn’t take the heat of the moment anymore. She needed to release the tension and his angry lips were just so close to hers.

Beth collides their lips together and feels the rage in his words slip away. All the feigned anger led up to what was the most comforting yet frenzied moment. Slowly tracing her hands along the back of his neck, she feels his hands find her hips.

She knew those heated exchange of words didn’t come from a place of anger. Beth just couldn’t sense where they were coming from but did that really matter when her lips left his just so they can both catch up with their heart. She let his forehead gently fall on to hers.

“Rick I didn’t...” slowly murmuring as she trails off with her forehead still on his.

“I hate the way Dave was looking at you and the way you laughed along to his dumb jokes,” he blurts out realizing it was his only chance to let her know.

Beth’s mind was just racing at the same pace as her heart, knowing only his lips could make her feel that way.

“And I know I have no right to tell you who to talk to cuz that’s a dick move,” he just continues to speak as he holds onto her waistline.

Beth sorta just chuckles to herself and moves her head away from his to look at him for the first time since their kiss. The confusion took over his face as she began to explain.

“I’m not laughing at you,” she composes herself and continues, “well maybe i am but more so at the fact that you’re jealous!”

Rick’s eyes bring out that signature saddening anger when he hears her voice speak the words he couldn’t. Reluctantly, he pulls away from her hold on his neck and tries to find the words to explain.

“I just don’t like Dan,” he stutters out an answer.

“I don’t care abt him, also his name his Dean,” she places her hands on his jawline with a reassuring touch.

“I kissed you, Rick,” she lets her eyes emphasize the statement and her head nods slightly as she spoke to let him know she really meant it.

The fall air breezes past them as Rick contemplates her words, he bites the edge of his lips and does what he knew should’ve done a while ago.

Rick closed the space between their lips but a lot more delicately than she had. His hands had already memorized the exact place on her hips she liked them to be after the first kiss.

The way Beth felt their bodies fall into the same rhythm amused her. Letting her hands find their way into his dark wavy hair, she’s make those small twist to keep her balance.

It didn’t take long for them to understand the wild bursts of energy they spewed at each other was just from holding in all the unrequited feelings. If it hadn’t been for her unlikely bravery, he would still be getting lost in her words instead of the sweetness of her lips. So maybe Rick is glad he agreed to Beth’s proposition to go to some cliche storybook wedding as friends. And so it goes, those two are no longer friends.

[purplesurveys]

1161

 survey by pichu4850

What color do you think of when I say...

Anger? Red, or a really bright red-orange.

Confusion? Gray.

Inspiration? Sky blue. Both word and color give off calming vibes to me.

Shy? Something like an off-white shade, and maybe even pastel pink.

Agony? Olive green was the first color to come to mind, though I have no idea why.

Sleep? Dark blue, like the night sky.

Chipper? Yellow.

Beautiful? Red, the way roses are.

Morning? Light blue or yellow.

Would you rather be named...

Andrea or Aimee? Andrea.

Emily or Erica? Emily. I know an Erycka that I’m not too fond of, so this is an easy pass.

Kelsey or Casey? Casey, though I’d mix up my name a bit and have it be pronounced and spelled as Cassie.

Madeleine or Marina? Eh, not really a fan of either but I’d mos likely go for Madeleine.

Alec or Aaron? Alec.

Ryan or Ross? Not a fan of both names as well though I’d probably go with Ryan, but only as a feminine name.

Dylan or Daniel? Dylan.

Jack or Jordan? I guess Jack, if I have to pick.

Gabriel or Gavin? Gabriel.

How often do you...

Brush your teeth? Once or twice a day.

Eat breakfast? Twice a week, during weekends; though sometimes I’ll end up skipping it for an entire week altogether.

Check your email? I literally never check my personal email anymore after having gotten hired, but I know I should quit that habit and check it every once in a while just in case an intriguing opportunity might come my way. My work email is a different story; I have to use it everyday. I open my emails even during weekends so that when I report to my shift on Monday, my Gmail won’t look as clogged.

Go to the mall? When quarantine protocols loosened up a bit I used to go either on Saturdays or Sundays for some me time as well as some much-needed time away from the house, for the sake of my mental health and sanity. But now that we’re going through another surge in cases, no one’s allowed to go out again and malls are back to just keeping the essential stores open.

Go to the beach? A few times a year, at least before the pandemic. I haven’t been to the beach since 2019.

Play card games? Only happens once in a blue moon, when I get together with friends and someone happens to bring a deck of cards. This isn’t a usual occurrence with any of my friend groups, though.

Have at least 20 minute phone calls? Never. I have 20-minute Google Meet and Zoom calls instead.

Paint your nails? They are never painted.

Wish you were happier? Every now and then.

Did you ever want to be...

A veterinarian? Yes, when I was younger. I once stumbled upon an interview with a horse vet on one of my kid’s almanacs and thought what they did was so cool.

An astronaut? Yup, definitely became a big obsession of mine at one point in my childhood. I still think it would be cool to go to outer space and should the opportunity ever become accessible in my lifetime, I wouldn’t want to miss out on it.

An artist? Not really. I knew from the get go I wasn’t meant to be one.

A school teacher? I would guess yes, but I definitely wasn’t as interested in teaching compared to being an astronaut or like a firefighter.

A housewife? Lmfao yeah. This was the answer I would give when I was like 8 up until I was probably 10 and I knew it stressed out my Asian mother big time. My grandpa got a kick out of it, though.

A firefighter? Yes. This was up there with astronaut.

A princess? Not so much.

A lawyer? I definitely considered law for a brief period, but it was already during my latter college years. There wasn’t enough time to mull over it. But hearing all the law school horror stories from my friends kind of made me relieved I didn’t push through with it; I knew I wasn’t passionate enough about law to want to go through all the hardships that come with law school, so I was fine letting that dream go, and still am.

A doctor? This was never a dream of mine.

Would you consider yourself...

Materialistic? Yes.

Pessimistic? It comes out occasionally, but I don’t think it’s a main trait of mine that people would generally see me as.

Avoidant? Not so much. I can be shy and anxious sometimes but I get over it at some point.

Sarcastic? Only occasionally. I wouldn’t say I speak the language.

Talkative? Definitely not. I hate being in the spotlight, and whenever it’s my turn to share a story or talk in a group I usually have the tendency to rush through it or make it as short as possible so as to return the spotlight on someone else. I’ve always been more of a listener.

Strange? Maybe not strange but weird to an extent?

Intelligent? I guess in some ways.

Lucky? In some ways I am, but I also got handed the short end of the stick in other contexts.

In the next twenty-four hours, will you...

Talk to someone you care about? Probably. I talk to at least one friend a day.

Go to work? Yep, I’ll finally be going back to work since the Holy Week break is over. My workaholic self felt kinda unsettled with all the free time, so I’m actually kinda relieved.

Go to school? I’m not in school anymore.

Be in a different city? Nope, it’ll be working from home for me like usual. We were initially allowed to book visits to the office if we really needed to go there to pack some goodies and stuff, but because of re-heightened Covid protocols our admin has once again prohibited anyone to go there for the meantime.

Read a book? I highly doubt it. I haven’t read any in months.

Watch a movie? Nope. It’ll be a Monday coming from a 4-day break, so it will be incredibly busy tomorrow as there would be a lot to catch up on.

Go to a dentist/orthodontist appointment? No, I won’t.

Do your laundry? My parents probably will seeing as our hamper was nearly full the last time I checked.

True or False: Family...

I have two brothers or more. I only have one brother.

My mom lives with me. This is technically true but isn’t phrased right in my case. I’m currently living with my parents.

My grandparent(s) live with me. No, we moved out of our duplex (where I did use to live with my grandparents) well over a decade ago.

I have half-siblings. Don’t have any.

I am the oldest in my family. Eldest child, that is.

I am an only child. I have two other siblings.

I have 15 cousins I can name off the top of my head. Easily. My first cousins are less than 15 in total, but I know a good number of my second and third cousins as well so this is a cakewalk.

The nearest Aunt or Uncle lives less than an hour away from me. The aforementioned duplex we moved out of is just at the next village; we didn’t move too far so that we can continue visiting them.

True or False: Food...

I am allergic to chocolate. I’m not, fortunately. I’m not crazy about chocolate but I’d be pretty miserable if I could never have it either.

I like vegetables more than fruit. Infinitely more, hahaha. I hate fruits.

I have tried pizza dipped in ranch sauce. Ranch isn’t a very common dressing where I’m from, so it’s not usually offered in restaurants. Given the chance, though, I’d definitely try my pizza with ranch at least once.

I've never eaten kiwi fruit. True, but then again I’ve never eaten most fruits and don’t plan to.

I love junk food.

I love to try new food.

Ketchup goes best with fries (chips). I don’t like ketchup and barely put it on anything.

I like fried rice. I haven’t met an Asian who doesn’t like fried rice.

I can prepare dinner for myself (using a stove or oven).

I hate sushi.

How many...

Pairs of shoes do you have? A little over 10, maybe? I don’t feel like counting in my head rn.

Songs do you have on your music player? I don’t have a music player anymore.

Hours of sleep did you get last night? Around 4.

Times have you had alcohol? Like, ever since I started drinking when I was 18? I never kept track lmao but if I would guess, maybe around 50-60 times? I’m not a regular drinker; I drink probably once or twice a month at most.

Books have you read/started reading in the past month? None.

Windows in your house/apartment are open? I know my parents and sister have their windows open at the moment, so that’s 2. Mine are usually open as well, but I’ve turned on my aircon so I’ve closed them for the night.

Pets do you have? 2.

Kids do you have/want to have? I’d cut it off a a maximum of 3 kids, but having just 1 would already be so nice.

Minutes does it take to get from your home to school or work? I work from home, but in the two times I went to the actual office it took anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour.

Have you ever...

Spilled a cup of grape juice on the carpet? I don’t think I’ve ever even encountered grape juice in my entire life.

Played spin the bottle? I don’t think I’ve ever played this. My friends and I usually resort to truth or dare.

Played Twister? Yes, and there are many fond memories that come with it as well. So when I was 7 years old I befriended Katreen, and her mom and mine hit it off instantly so they started this arrangement where every Friday, her mom picked me and my sister up from school along with Katreen and her sisters, and we’d stay for several hours at their place until my mom would pick us up. Her mom was an amazing host and every week we’d play Twister, watch Pokemon, read books together, etc; anything to keep us comfortable and entertained.

Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to be doing? It’s bound to happen every now and then.

Walked out of a movie because it was horrible? I’ve gotten this feeling a few times but I always stayed in my seat because I paid for the damn ticket.

Given the finger to someone on the street? Oh most definitely, as well as drivers passing by. And it’s always been towards men that are being disgusting pigs.

Been so sad/angry that you started laughing? Sure.

Been in a wedding? Yes, but I only got invited as a kid since I was usually picked to be one of the flower girls. I haven’t been to a family wedding since 2007.

Been in a situation where you almost died? Probably not died but almost substantially injured, sure.

Misc...

Are you stressing out about anything right now? Just worried about the deluge of tasks that will inevitably come at me tomorrow but knowing how easygoing my bosses are, I know I’ll be able to ease up soon enough.

Do you think before acting or act before thinking? I used to be the latter but I now see the importance of first considering possible consequences of or how others would be affected by my actions.

Do you act upon your emotions and instinct, or logic and reasoning? Again, I used to be one of these, this time the former. Now that I’m at a much more stable and peaceful place in my life I try not to let my emotions get the best of me.

What are some personality traits you find appealing in a potential partner? I had a number of negative experiences in my last relationship so forgive me for scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to my expectations lmaaaao – I’d love for someone to be sensitive to my needs and feelings, and for them to be able to own up to their mistakes or hurtful habits and know how to apologize and be open to changing if it’s for their self-improvement.

How have you changed as a person in the last 5 years? I tolerate less bullshit now. I think I’ve also grown to be happier and a lot more stable, emotionally. I also have a better sense of what I want out of life and where I want to be, and I’ve also learned to be more sociable and open up to people.

If you could do anything you wanted right this moment, what would it be? Order sushi :(

Is there anyone you can totally relax and be yourself around? Yes, that’s what my friends are for. If I can’t feel comfortable around my friends, I’d view that as a problem.

Did you ever wanted to say something to someone, didn't, and regretted it? No.

Are you scared about the future? I’m scared of the idea of not meeting some of my goals, like having a family; but I’m also excited about what the future could bring me.

[mileycfan4eva33]

Fandom: SVU

Title:Epitaph Song

Chapter: 1 Down South

P O V: Amanda Rollins

Billy's Diner

Loganville, GA 2020

(A/N: Thank you as always for the readers who take the time to review, favorite or follow. As usual I own none of these SVU characters just my original characters. All others belong to NBC, Dick Wolf and Wold Ent. Jessie, Billie do not exist in this fic, I am still deciding if Noah dose or not. If you have a preference as to if you want Noah in it or not hit me up reviews motivate me.)

"Oh, Air Condition, thank God! It's hotter than a roasted pig on a skewer out there." Olivia Benson's laugh is light and airy as we enter the restaurant. "Oh, Amanda, I love your expressions, don't ever change. Seriously your southern drawl is so cute. Don't ever lose it."

"No worries, Olivia; it's been nearly ten years since I moved to New York. I haven't lost it yet." "Thanks again for coming down south with me. It means a lot."

"Your welcome Amanda, are you feeling any better since this weekend?" Shaking the soreness out of my weary bones I feel a yawn snaking up my jawlines as I try to fight it off to no avail, the yawn is relentless in its attempt to escape.

"A little thanks I am still tired and nausea I don't know why I slept all weekend, yet I still feel dizziness not as much as this weekend, but I am still weakened almost as if I am drained of all energy." Sliding into the booth, I lean back against the cool plastic backboard. "I'm sorry for calling out on you this weekend, Captain."

"Amanda, please, stop don't worry about it your health is too important don't apologize." "I am sorry, Liv, not just for this weekend, but now we're both away from NYC."

"Because your dad passed away, Amanda, we're not here on vacation. Kat and Fin understand, and Chief Garland sent two detectives to help out, SVU is covered. Please take some of this concern and apply it to yourself; you lost your dad. I know you haven't been close to him in years, but he is still your dad, give yourself the allowance to mourn, Amanda. Don't hide your emotions down and pretend that everything is perfectly fine."

"I don't think it's hit me yet, Olivia. I just don't feel anything." Olivia's hand slips over my hand as we lay them on the table, waiting on the waitress to come over to us. "It will Amanda, I don't know when sweetie, it may take weeks, days, months, but it will hit you. I just want you to know that I am here, honey, whenever you want to talk."

"Thank you, Liv; I appreciate this jester I know we haven't always been close, but I love the friendship that has been built over the last four years." "As do I Amanda. I love the trust that we've built within each other, the respect. Where is the waitress?"

"Liv, it's the south; we take our sweet time with everything, ain't no rushin' in the country life."

"You ever miss living down here, Peach?" "Honestly, Liv, there are parts I miss like my family, friends. I miss the comfort in knowing there is always someone here who will have your back. What I don't miss is everyone knowing everyone else business."

"Is that a true thing? Everyone else knows each other's business?"

As if God was given me a clue incomes Betsy Jane Rose "Oh, my bless my heart Amanda-Taylor Rollins, is that truly you?" I pick my head up, gritting my teeth as she comes flying inside the restaurant arms wild "Betsy Jane Mary-Sue it sure is, wow child it's been yonders since you've rolled back into these parts."

"Oh, I am so sorry about your daddy, such a shame bless your heart honey-bee."

"Oh well, how sweet of you, Ms. Betsy, so very kind of you thank you, how did you hear about my daddy's passing per se? We didn't put it in the Tribune or online."

"Oh, Sugar, you know how these things work, Lord, who needs that dingy old paper when we gave word of mouth. Has it been that long Darlin? Surely you remember the good old Betsy-Jane- Mary-Sue train."

"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Oh Amanda, let me enlighten you wow New York City has slapped you silly, child. Anyways So Mary-Jo Higgins oh heavens I was born at night, but not last night! Duh, of course, you don't know who Mary-Jo Higgins is, well back in our days of youth she went by Mary-Jo Robins, so any who baby, Mary-Jo is now an RN."

"That's a Registered Nurse, by the way." "Yes, Ms. Rose, I know what an RN is."

"So yeah Mary-Jo works a that's Loganville Medical Center where your daddy was brought to by the Ambulance. So Mary-Jo was there when he passed bless his heart so Mary-Jo well you know good ol' Mary-Jo never could keep a secret so of course, she told her Mama who had to run down to the Salon to say to Ms. Sue who of course told the whole Salon."

Both of us laugh, "How did you find out, darlin?"

"Oh, you know this little thing called HIPPA they like to notify the Next of Kin, and since my parents you know divorced many moons ago, that would make me the eldest child his next of kin, since he hasn't gotten to remarry yet."

"Speaking of kin-folk dear, where is that sister of yours? She straighten her life out yet? Kimberly coming on her own?"

"No, Ma'am, I'm afraid she ain't gonna make it, you know the whole being in jail thing it kind of puts a cramp on a person's freedom. Thank you so much for coming over though, I sure don't want to keep you."

I don't give her a chance to answer quickly, sliding back into the booth turning to Olivia. Just as our waitress comes over. "good afternoon- honey pies, what can I get you ladies?" after we order, I lean back as Olivia starts to laugh, unable to hold in her amusement over Ms. Rose any longer. "So that's how news travels down south Captain." eagle eyeing Betsy across the room, I can already see she's on her cell phone. "Well, the whole damn town will know I am back soon enough." "that has to be frustrating, Amanda." "Oh, Liv, you ain't got a clue. Every day dealing with women like, is there any doubt about why I got out of here faster than a bat out of hell."

I stay silent about the other reason I left Georgia as soon as I was old enough my sexuality there's no room for differences here in the good old south. No way could I tell Olivia this though she has no idea I am a lesbian. "So, is your Mom coming?" "Lord, no Liv she's up in NY taking care of Mason, Mama said she was sorry the son of a bitch died, but she dumped his ass years ago, let his new hussy handle the affairs."

"My dear new sister, who I haven't even met yet. She's handling everything as per my dad's living will."

"Amanda, I am so sorry." "Don't be Olivia, I am fine." "Of course you are." I don't reply not because I don't have the response in me but because the doors burst open and a vast mass of people come pouring into the already packed diner.

"Amanda! It is true! You are back!" Tommy Jake Edwards "TJ" calls out "Yo Ms. Betsy Jane was right boys. Good Ol Rollins is back in town." there are rumblings from the entire group of men "Liv meet the former jocks of Loganville High School Pyro Red Devils who ruled LHS's halls from 1996-1999."

"Rollins, how can you sneak back into town and say nothing? Yo, Rollins, that is rude! I thought we were your boys!"

"Bump that T-rolls, I am pissed forget these clowns, I am your cousin! Uncle Jimmy is my kin-folk too. Where's my love?"

"Hey, Jensen, I just got back into town like literally ten minutes ago. I'm sorry it's been crazy these last few days. My head is still spinning. I haven't told anyone yet, sorry, truly."

Jensen's arms wrap around me tightly. "No worries, cuz. I got you. I am sorry I know you and your Pa wasn't close but damn it still sucks." "Thanks, Jensen, yeah, it does."

Coming out of his hug, I'm met by his brother Blake who I hug as tightly. "Yo boys will catch you later going to hang with family." the rest of the crew waves blowing me kisses as Liv, and I make room for these two. "Hi. I'm Olivia Benson, Amanda's boss, and friend."

"Oh honey-child we know who you are, we've heard all about you now haven't we Blake?" "Oh, yes, Yes, we have well let us introduce ourselves since Miss. Amanda has the manners of a pig. I am Blake Yankee; Jensen is my twin brother; our Mama is Amanda's dad sister."

"Were you three close growing up?" "Oh, tighter than chili papers, Mama, us, and our uncle TC's kids, our cousins Alonso and Scottie, are coming in tomorrow." "They called us the Rollin- Yankee-Terrors." Sipping my sweet tea, I groan, remembering all the names the seven of us use to get growing up. "don't tell her that she is my boss."

"Oh relax Junebug, it ain't like I told her about the time you put laxatives in Ernie Reynaldo's cornbread when you were ten and locked him in the outhouse for the whole day and told our teacher he ran away to the circus."

Olivia laughs so loudly. I feel my temperature rise in my face. "You what?" my face buries into the palms of my hands. "Yo, boy, that was nothing. Remember when we were twelve, and Kyle Kane told Manda she was uglier than a burnt barn, she took his pants and underwear while he was changing and threw it into the river."

Both boys bang on the table laughing, shoving each other as Olivia arched an eyebrow in my direction "Oh, yeah I do, she let the anger seethe inside all week till Saturday when the whole town was gathered for the annual fishing competition. When Kyle's dad was with the reporter for Atlanta news, Kyle comes walking bare-ass naked; the entire town saw him walking his little dude swinging in the breeze. Kyle was grounded for months. "

My embarrassment only increases as I lay my head down, groaning while all three laugh. "Oh, God, even as a kid, Amanda, you were a rule-breaker and a little shit-head." I feel Olivia's hand stroke mine laughing as she hangs her head down tears running down her face, which a lovely rose color.

I only pick my head up when the food arrives, feeling my whole body shiver and jolt as I lean back, smelling the greasy food. Reaching for the ketchup, I pop a fry in my mouth. I still can't shake this feeling of being drained or the tightness in my head.

"Oh My." another voice pops into my world as I see Mr. Jason Axson and Mrs. Janet Axson coming in with their two kids Christopher 17, Savannah 14. her voice cuts through the air. "How are you, Sugar?' "I am just peachy; thank you, just enjoying dinner with my family, here."

"Oh, of course, we don't mean to interrupt. You could use the food; obliviously, you are mighty thin sugar. Your daddy was right; they are working your tail to its bone up there in that big city unless you are sick again, darling."

"No Ma'am, I am right as a peach as I said, but I am trying to enjoy my dinner." "Yeah, Janet let these nice folks eat; worry about our own family; I do apologize, Miss. Amanda lovely to see you again, we shall pop in at another time."

Olivia's eyes stare right into mine. I know she's wondering about the "Are you sick again" line my face flushes as I look down, avoiding her eyes and the question. Another part of my past she has no idea about, My stomach rolls as I think about all the secrets and pressures I have on top of me, none of which Olivia needs to add to her plate.

"I need to use the bathroom, I'll be back, excuse me." getting up I start to head there, of course, a two-minute walk becomes ten as I am stopped by multiple people offering their condolences. My back hits the wall just as another wave of dizziness hits me; I do everything inside of me not to show it to anyone, I can see Olivia's eyes on me from across the room. Yet it isn't Olivia who catches my attention, rare I know.

This time, Savannah's voice so young, scared, and nervous. I am standing right next to their table as I hear Savannah say. "Mama, Daddy, I have something to tell you." Savannah's beautiful emerald eyes glisten as she stares at her parents. "I am a Lesbian, and I plan to come out this weekend at the prom."

Savannah's courage freezes me. I am forty and don't have the courage she has at fourteen-years-old. I can't think fast enough to react before her mom is out of her chair, smacking Savannah across her face. "You are not gay! Stop your lying, you fifthly whore! Who put these lies in your head? You are a good girl, a good baptist girl. Take it back!"

"No Mama, I can't I won't because I am gay, and yes I am a good girl, I am a baptist and MVP for the last two years in all the southern regions. I will play at college, and I will go pro, and my sexuality won't stop me from doing any of that."

"Fool, of course, it will, but you won't have to because you are not gay!"

"Mama, I am please just listen to me. Stop being such a bitch."

Her dad jumps up, grabbing at Savannah as I react, finally racing towards Savannah as Jason starts yelling. "Don't talk to your mother that way! Ever! No daughter of mine will be a sinner! I could deal with you being pregnant, not this! This is unforgivable. You either get over this phrase you little slut or you are OUT OF THIS FAMILY! Let's go now, Christopher, Janet leave her."

I hurry towards Savannah, who is trying with her whole body to remain strong as her family walks out. I know her face is stinging from the assault, but it's nothing like the pain in her soul. The rest of the restaurant sits there, not offering to help just turning to their families. My hands connect to Savannah's as I help her sit down "Sweetie, I am so sorry that your parents reacted to you."

"It's okay, ma'am, I excepted this. It was so so stupid-crazy to even except for any different outcome."

"No honey, it isn't it's not crazy or stupid to except unconditional love from your family; that's what parents are supposed to do. Of course, you wanted to tell them living in secrets, hiding who you are, it's exhausting. The if only or what-ifs or the I should have's, they take their tolls."

"It's 2020, not 1990 times have changed; maybe the south should catch up." My hands rub Savannah's back softly. "I'm from here honey, so I get it baby-girl I know how scary accepting your sexuality is, I know how painful it is to hold this all inside, to feel as if you ain't normal simply because you don't feel fireworks when the popular jocks kiss you."

"I knew that when I was thirteen, I felt it already I was great to hang out with boys all day when it came to playing ball, or telling dirty jokes or pulling pranks, but when it came to who I was attracted to sexually or emotionally, guys they just didn't do it for me. I could feel myself gravitating toward girls in ways that I didn't with boys."

"Don't let your sexual identity label you or define you—whether it be as lesbian, bisexual, asexual, or another term—how you choose to label yourself is not based on a checklist. You can still be everything you just told your parents; you can play any instrument you want to learn, you can be the best damn softball player this world's ever seen."

"Savannah, I started figuring it out at thirteen, but I didn't let myself act physically until I was 16, I kissed a girl at a party for the first time, and it was magical. Everything flowed so naturally, my body just knew what to do. I reacted to her in a way that felt right—the way I had always envisioned the first kiss to be. I tried saying I was bisexual for a quick minute and even had sex with several guys to prove that I wasn't an abomination the way the church, my family, and everyone else in this town always said gay people are. Still, I could feel myself gravitating toward girls in ways that I didn't with boys."

"Did your family accept you?"

"I don't know I never told anyone I was too scared. It was a different time back then before it got better or internet support. There were no Gay pride parades even now at forty living in NYC, a place filled with cultural and sexuality differences. I am still living in that small-town mindset. I can't tell anyone. I can't even tell the woman who I am madly in love with who I know is so accepting of people. Because I am still afraid that even with an open mind as beautiful as Olivia's, I am afraid she'll reject me."

"Savannah, I know this feels like the end of the world right now, it's not I am right by your side. I will support you; you can stay with me. Will get through this together."

"Thank you, Miss. Amanda. Thank you so much. I think you should tell this Olivia lady how you feel. Even with my parent's rejection, I feel such a weight off my chest; I feel as if I can finally breathe."

"Amanda, maybe you should listen to Savannah, she seems like a brave young lady, and I love women who are strong in body, mind, and spirit. You have a very sexy strong body, and I know your mind is sharp, so if you get some balls Amanda and tell me how you feel face to face, I think we might be able to make a beautiful connection, of our minds, souls and our bodies." Olivia's voice completely freezes every sense, emotion and body function inside of me. I can't speak, think, move or even breathe.

Did she just hear me confess my deepest feelings for her?