#i am the kind of person who wears *this* kind of clothes sincs thats whats in my dresser

[hiddeninthe-veil]

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[eriochromatic]

As a character, what do you love most about Silco? As a subject matter, what do you enjoy drawing about him most? (personally, I love his nose), but his fashion ... GOD. I would love to see your take on Happy AU Silco's wardrobe options!

Also, do you do concept art for video games or animation for a living? Your work is so professional, I especially admire your coloring!

I think for fictional characters in general, I love those who have really strong convictions and would do anything for those set of ideals, and then the narrative continuously tests them and pushes them to the edge. Whether or not the character follows through in their ideals or finally reaches their limit doesn't matter to me, I just like seeing them wrangle with their decisions lol

This is why I didn't like s1 Jayce (who to me was a candle in the wind) but I loved s2 Jayce- for s2 Jayce's arc basically revolved entirely around Viktor, from the beginning where he made the decision to bring him back w/ the hexcore (despite Viktor telling him to destroy it), to the end where Jayce basically decides to die with Viktor in the ether. Jayce was brought to his absolute limit and we got to see him grapple with the decisions that he had to make.

Silco was the same in s1, to me he goes through his own personal "corruption arc" in the sense that in s1e9 he betrays his own ideals for Jinx and finally understands Vander's position. He and Vander probably started out as the same idealists, and then the narrative kept punching him in the gut and forged him into who we saw in s1e1. A lot of this is off screen but just the idea of him (after his fight with Vander) sort of losing his moral compass bit by bit which all culminates to producing shimmer just to prove how much he's willing to fight for Zaun, and then later on realizing there is a final line he won't ever cross...

Honestly even if he did cross that line and went like "haha I don't actually care about Jinx" I would still love him as a character (just in a massively different way since he would be like. A completely different person. Idk I watched the Penguin recently and I still fucking love Oz and also my favorite asoiaf character is Stannis so. LMAO.)

Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant HAHAHA but as for your other questions, yes I love drawing his nose as well, honestly it's funny seeing young Silco art that doesn't have his nose where he just becomes an emo anime boy. I'm just like who are you that's not Silco thats Simon LOL

Idk about specifically designing other outfits for Silco though, I just draw him in what feels right for the moment (?) I guess my art process currently is more like "what am I trying to tell with this" rather than just playing dress up dolls (not that there's anything wrong with that! Just not my thing) Like, for that AU last drop thing I drew, Silco, Mylo, and Claggor are all wearing smth more casual since the vibe was like 10am on a Sunday morning but Powder is wearing her normal clothes since she just pulled an all nighter with Ekko (well ok they fell asleep at like 5am before Ekko rudely ran away lol), and Vander was already up anyways probably to do bar admin stuff idk.. so if you're asking me directly what I think is in Silco's wardrobe I'm kind of drawing a blank fjskdmmsmfd

And yes I do concept art/illustration for video games for a living :)

[autumnbaguette]

Tokyo, 12.22 am.

"Mam, you haven't sleep in two days now. You seems restless since we arrived in Tokyo."

You look at your assistant, well groomed middle aged man, crisp black suit, the only person trusted by the elder to 'accompany' you while being stationed overseas.

"Is that so? Well, I guess i will take a rest for a bit then. The reports can wait yes?". You stand up and walk out from your office. Your assistant follow right away.

Here you are. In the living room that have this big window looking out the Tokyo city skyline. The shimmering lights of the city under, pretty yet somehow so distant and lonely, reminding you of someone you used to know.

"I'll sleep for a few hours and continue with the reports. You can leave your post and take a rest too."

"Thank you Mam. But please take this." He hand you several pills. "You can't sleep without these. I will report to the elders that you take the medicine regurlary."

A bitter pang hit your chest. Damn those elders. Whose fault is that anyway. You take the pills and swallow it.

"Thank you, you are dismissed."

With that, your assistant leave the penthouse. It is quiet now. Eeriely quiet. So you went to the bedroom, walking towards the closet. Changing your clothes into a white shirt thats too big for you. It looks a bit worn out but it will do. You lay on the bed, not even bother to open the bed cover. Again, those night skyline caught your attention. You can't help but wondering Where is he now?

As you about to close your eyes, you sense a presence. A familiar one and you know exactly who it is.

"Yami yori idete yami yori kuroku, sono kegare o misogiharae." You chant the barrier without even bother to open your eyes.

"I see that you're still wearing my shirt as pajamas. Old habit die hard really."

That voice, that damn voice. Sounds so laid back as if nothing bad ever happens. The last time you see him was after the confrontation in shibuya. He doesn't even say good bye, or sorry at least. The fact that everything went downhill afterwards, your relationship with Gojo getting colder and distant as the time passed by. It is a well known fact that You and Gojo somehow blame each other for the downfall of Geto Suguru.

"What do you want, Suguru?" You asked him, again doesn't even bother to open your eyes. Is it the fact that you are so sleepy because of the pills or the fact that you can't trust yourself about all the things that you gonna do to him if you open your eyes. Kill him? Maybe not. But begging him one last time to go back to you seems much more reasonable now.

The bed dipped and he sat beside you. Suguru study your face. Eyes closed, your lashes is a bit damp. Darker eyebags. And he notice your hair. Its different colour now. As pretty as always he thought. His finger caress your cheek, you fluttered your eyes open and meet with his dull grey eyes.

None of you or Suguru said anything. As if both of you really understand each other. Or maybe you just want to kill the time. Maybe if you stay silent without asking any question, he will stay longer.

"Shall I kill the elders? They overworked you a lot." His hand wander to your hair, stroking it gently. You can't help but smile and chuckle a little bit. "That would be great, but no Suguru."

"Or maybe you can just quit? Buy a land in rural area, raise some chickens and ducks. Plants lots of flowers and fruit trees.  Remember that? Have a simple life."

It is strange that after what happened, after all these years, here you are with Suguru, having a small talk like some kind of married couple do at the end of their day. No hatred, no baggage whatsoever.

Indeed you want it, a simple life with him.

Tracing his face with your finger. Almost no differences since the last time you saw him. A little bit freckles here and there. Those small lines at the end of his eyes. No eyebags though. His hair is still the same, the earings, his smile.  

"Im sorry." You said. "I should've known." This time your finger cares his cheek, "Can you just go back? I will do my best explaining everything to the elders, to Satoru. Im sure he will listen, you are still his bestfriend afte-."

"No." Suguru cut you off. His tone is cold, distant.

"Nothing will ever change my ideology, my plan and my future. I love you, i still do. But it doesnt put you at the top of my list. You should be aware of it by now."

Indeed, this is Suguru. The real one. Everyone sees him as the emphathetic, the calm and the good ones compare to Satoru. Yet, this side of him never really caught their eyes. How determine he is once he set his goal, nothing gonna stop him. Not even you, not even his family, not even his bestfriend Gojo Satoru.

It would be a lie to say his words doesn't hurt you. It hurt a lot, you want to cry. Screaming at him but here you are, looking at him. Still caressing his face gently, afraid that if you do it harder He's gonna fall apart like a fine china. Crumbling into pieces.

So, it's okay.

It's gonna be okay.

"I know, but i still wanna take my chances." you said while smilling, trying hard to stay awake since the pills starting to get you sleepier than before.

He doesn't say anything. Suguru watch your face as the sleep starts to take over. His hands keep stroking your cheeks gently. To be honest, he kinda expect you to get hostile with him. Maybe curse him a little bit when he appear, or maybe you will cast a curse spell to hurt him. But you did none of it, somehow he feels relieve but sad at the same time.

Your breathing becomes steady, thats a cue for Suguru to take his leave. One final look at you, "I'm sorry. I promised to make you the happiest yet somehow I always ended up hurting you the most."

He kiss your forehead, correcting your sleep position and pull the blanket over you. Still adoring your face for one last time, "Good night my love. Until we meet again."

[witchlingcirce]

🚨TEAM BLACK TRAILER & SPOILERS FOR HOTD🚨

Oh… MY…. GOD. This is literally all I could have asked for this is one of the best things I’ve seen in so long I’m so HYPED!!

This shot… I’m literally heart broken this 💔. This is obviously at Lucerys funeral and honestly it’s just…. TO MUCH. The tears in Jaces eyes, them burning Luke’s clothing because there wasn’t a body, baby Joffrey. This scene looks absolutely stunning but also so gut wrenching. I FEEL LIKE ILL DEFINITELY CRY 😭.

DRAGON TWINS DRAGON TWINS DRAGON TWINS DRAGON TWINS

Everyone knows that I manifested this, HARD. Whoever gave them a new, better wig bless you. To the person who actually put them into nice clothing, BLESS YOU TOO.

Baela is literally Laenas twin like… SHE LOOKS SO GOOD.

I’m so happy there finally getting more scenes and lines, I was praying for this. DRAGON TWINSSSS I LOVE YOUUUU

MOOOONNNNN DANCERRRREEEEEEREE

She looks almost exactly like what I imagine a young Vhagar would look like. VHAGER IS HER MUMMY CONFIRMED!!!

It’s hard to see in this particular shot but I do like that they kept her a paler green colouring!!!! I don’t think you guys understand how much I love moondancer. She like two moments in the book and I decided I would Stan forever.

BAELA TARGARYENNNNNNNN GETTING her own moment is something I am actually so hyped about, THATS MY WARRIOR PRINCESS.

You know I have a feeling that maybe after Rooks Rest and seeing what happens to a certain someone she mayyyyy cut her hair, like book Baela. Kind of like the thing, hair holds memories yk?

Cregan stark is NOT BLONDE WHO CHEEEEREEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD

I understand that the north storyline this season will probably only last three episodes max (damn you eight episodes)! NONETHELESS, I am beyond excited.

Can we talk about how Jacaerys is free from the ugly wig??? THANK THE HEAVENS!! There doing my boy right. Seeing him a decent amount in the trailer made me so hyped, I always thought he deserved to be seen more in the first season since YK, he’s the Heir’s heir (hahah) but I’m so glad there stepping up there game this season!!!

RHAENYRA RHAENYRA THE WOMAN YOU ARE! Whoever made her costumes and hair this season BLESS YOUR HEART.

I think it’s obvious she’s most likely wearing a Visenya braid and she is STANDING ON BUSINESS!

Before when I was talking about the posters I was discussing how it seemed that they gave her back her cunningness and determination from the books and I am SO HAPPY THEY DID. Because THAT is a queen of he seven kingdoms THATTTTTT is MY WOMANNNNN!!!!

Also this is a side note: but I like how she refers to Aegon as Alicent Hightower’s son, not her brother or half brother but as ALICENTS SON!!!! I feel like it probably has to do with them not being close, but it also it makes it feel like Rhaenyra doesn’t consider him a true son of Viserys. Very interesting, can’t wait for there beef to get more intense.

Rhaenyra… Rhaenyraaaas EMMA D’ARCY YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS PERSON. I’m in shock, whoever made there outfits this season did they GOOOOOODDDDDD

LOTS of theories on who’s she’s looking 🙉

1. Alicent Hightower

There was a bunch of leaks going around that there would be a final meeting between the two. I think this is an outfit that she wears in the earlier episodes so idkkk buttt If it Rhaenyra why are you looking at her like that… TOXIC YURI CONTINUES.

2. Mysaria

I feel it being Mysaria would be very interesting. Maybe it’s her pleading ‘loyalty’ towards Rhaenyra. And then later on (if there keeping it like how it is in the books) helping Daemon blah B&C.

This is Corlys definitely telling Rhaenys not to get involved and Rhaenys telling him she has to do what’s right for her house and what’s right for Baela and Rhaena 💔💔💔

THERE GOING TO BREAK UP MY HEART THIS SEASON.

Anyways guys I’m so excited, I’m so happy that there finally giving team blacks kids moments to shine and also letting Rhaenyra be book Rhaenyra… JUNE 16th can’t come sooner!

[odysseys-blood]

theres a lot of back and forth about paimon especially so i just wanna put in my two cents about it bc speculation on paimon and gender can be tricky and theres a lot to take into consideration. this isnt an end all be all post and not the best written but im just speaking from my place as someone who is trans (though i myself am tme) and works with gender themes in my own characters so this is gonna be kinda long

So! Paimon

a lot of the issue from the back and forth stems from how paimon is written by default. When you meet paimon, he's designated as just a pretty boy that likes to crossdress and they emphasize heavily that paimon is a man every time they talk about his femininity and how he presents himself.

Now crossdressing itself is not at all transphobic, hell drag is a big thing and its not uncommon for queens do figure out that they're transfem when they get into it. In fact a lot of queer people do push to erase gender boundaries within clothes because in the end....clothing is just cloth wear what you want be who you want to be, whether it be a woman wearing masc clothing, a man wearing femme clothes, or anyone just wearing something neutral feeling.

Where it becomes a problem is the push to enforce paimon's masculinity at every turn. While its good that paimon isn't a character that's put in to be played for laughs (as feminine men and trans women often are in media), it comes off odd in a way for paimon to have a feminine voice, dress femininely, love feminine things...and then at every point have it enforced heavily that paimon is a man. THAT is where a lot of the issue stems from at when you see it happening as someone who has seen transmisogyny (if this is your first time seeing the word, its transphobia that arises specifically for a trans woman being a woman. ergo the word being a mix of transphobia and misogyny) in practice it looks worrying. When you're someone who knows how to spot this kind of thing it can feel like paimon's gender nonconformity is being demonized (while they also highlight it. its an odd mix).

This isn't to say that it is a concious thing that's being pushed either i'm not saying the writers are personally transmisogynists at all, HOWEVER since transphobia and transmisogyny is rampant in society to the point where it subconsciously controls biases, thats how it can come off transmisogynistic. Think of it as similar to racism: even if you think you yourself are not racist theres still likely biases you have picked up or have been taught just because theyre so pervasive in society. This doesnt mean its your fault it just means its something that you have to unlearn conciously and put in the work to do so.

This is also not just a problem with whb because again like i said, its systemic. Think about other characters in media who are written this way, such as Bridget from Guilty Gear, or Vivian from Paper Mario. While these two are different in that their status as trans women have been solidified, the treatment they've gotten is largely the same. Especially bridget considering how she for the longest was the poster child for the "femboy" archetype and how femininity is enforced yet also discouraged in these characters until she was finally labeled transgender in gg strive.

All this to say...its messy and theres a lot of points to consider so there really isnt a reason to go at each others throats. Using paimon's canon pronouns and gender isn't exactly a problem and neither is choosing to instead see paimon as a transgender woman and using she/her pronouns. But at the very least it doesn't hurt to educate yourself also and understand why paimon's writing can come off transmisogynistic and transphobic. WHB is not a game thats heralding itself on being progressive (even if there are aspects to it that might seem so) so there's not much to expect from it in that regard but still we can be mindful and discussion isnt bad.

(also a footnote i dont think ive seen any transfem or tma players of whb in the tag....ever but if anyone is and wants to add on or thinks ive overstepped let me know)

[whumpbug]

okay okay okay so I held back on this one because I asked alternate already BUT. can you put Gene and Cassidy in a sci-fi story. what would they wear what are their roles do you have scene snippets or dialog? sci-fi is my favorite thing ever and as always feel free to ignore if this isn't the vibe!!! i love you bug /p!!!!!

OHOHOHOHOHHOH SETH I LOVE U /P

i am all for a sci-fi vibe. even if star wars is TECHNICALLY a space opera, i love love love the space setting and i would be DELIGHTED to talk about it.

im gonna word vomit on the page first and them ill try my hand at a few drabbles in this au. strap in for ANOTHER very long post. THANK U AGAIN SETH I LOVE UR ASKS I TRULY CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THEM /GEN

okay so. since i'm only really well-versed in star wars sci-fi concepts, this is going to be a vaguely star wars inspired au but i'll try to phrase it in a way thats more applicable to sci-fi in General (its always so fun to translate their jobs and personalities into different settings)

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we'll start with gene. idk why but i'm getting very much a bounty hunter vibe from him. like someone who maybe works for a larger organization or guild hunting down notorious criminals (i mention that he works for an Entity bc i think its sort of important that he doesnt choose his bounties himself. he gets them assigned)

i think he would still do it out of a sense of responsibility because he doesn't think bad people should just be running around like that, but also because. a man's gotta make a living. he's gotta pay the bills.

i can see him having his own little ship that he practically lives out of considering how much he travels, and i feel like he'd get very attached to his ship (much like calliope. sorry calliope you've become a spaceship in this au)

OMG AND ALSO A THOUGHT IS BEING BEAMED INTO MY HEAD.

he wears a mask. you can't see his face when he's out doing jobs. he conceals his face, partially because he doesn't want people to see when hes scared or smug or anything like that and partially for the Swag.

that brings me to his overall outfit. i believe in my heart of hearts that gene would wear something like this (i wish i could credit the artist but i couldnt find it)

except instead of an entire helmet, it would be more of just a black piece of cloth pulled loosely over his mouth and nose. and im also seeing him in a very wide brimmed hat that he can tilt down to Brood pls tell me you guys see the vision.

he'd have a little revolver-looking blaster and knowing him, it'd be set to stun. i don't think he really enjoys bringing people in cold, and does his best to avoid it when he can

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

OK now onto cassidy. my beautiful darling boy silver. my sweetiepie.

it was kind of difficult to translate his profession into this setting because. it involves more people other than him.

ultimately i decided that, similar to the modern au, he is a part of an underground business, kind of like a rebellion of sorts, that fight against the injustices of the galaxy robin-hood style. of course, montana is the leader (unfortunately) and cassidy is essentially his right hand man

i can see cassidy traveling planet to planet, dismantling corrupt governments, providing for the needy, and having an absolute blast doing it, but his methods are. very illegal. and there is a growing bounty on his head.

nearly every major government wants specifically him locked away for life because of the destruction he's caused, and of course they hire the very best bounty hunter around to track him down.

and of course cassidy is a slippery fellow

cue their little cat and mouse thing they've got going on. gene wants to catch him because if he does, he'd practically be set for life. cassidy runs away because, well. he has a job to do. he can't get caught, especially by the weirdly attractive masked dude that talks to his spaceship.

and lastly, here is what i think cassidy's fit would vaguely look like:

he loves ponchos he can't help it. they're too comfy.

he too would have a little revolver-blaster thing and of course, his knife and hat. one thing that it different is the stolen jewelry. i decided that instead of stealing jewelry from the awful people, he takes mechanical/droid parts for his little buddy that he keeps around named SC-071-1 (haha. ahaha get it. please tell me someone gets it.)

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OK ONTO THE DRABBLES AND SNIPPETS! you get 3 because im feeling Generous /pos. here in the first little snippet for you. this is the two meeting in a bar and not wanting to make a scene (gene tracked him there) (i just wanted to write a silly tense scene)

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Cassidy heard Gene before he saw him.

The man was always stomping around in a way no one could quite replicate. His footsteps were deliberate, cold, and unmistakable.

And they were right behind him.

The business end of a blaster was suddenly pressed into Cassidy's ribs and his mouth went dry.

"I'll have a Jet Juice. On the rocks."

Gene tossed the bartender a coin, to which he grumbled indignantly and began on the drink.

Cassidy risked a sideways glance at the bounty hunter. His expression was unreadable and hidden as always, and he didn't even turn to look at Cassidy. Instead, Gene leaned close and spoke lowly into his ear.

"Make a scene and you're dead. Try to run and you're dead. Turn on your comm and you're dead. Am I clear?"

Cassidy smirked, and mocked a salute. "Loud 'n clear, sir."

Gene gave a curt nod and turned to the bar. The bartender slid him his drink, which he downed in one go, and he was just about to order another when--

He sputtered when he felt something pressed into a certain.. important area. He blanched.

"Didn't say anything about fightin' fire with fire, did you, cowboy?" Cassidy grinned. The sight of the big bad bounty hunter squirming because his family jewels were threatened never got old.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

DRABBLE 2 HERE WE GO. this one is gene finding cassidy after a mission gone sour. cassidy was effectively abandoned by montana with the promise that he would come back for him.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

The whole mission was a bust from the beginning.

Cassidy should have known. He had a gut feeling-- that it was some sort of trap specifically designed for the organization. When he brought it up to Montana, he said that it was just Cassidy being paranoid. And, of course, he believed him. He always did

And now, there he was, beaten within an inch of his life and left to the elements by the government higher-ups.

They really didn't like people messing with their system.

Cassidy took a labored breath for what felt like the millionth time. Each time it was getting harder. His arms were pinned awkwardly above his head and to fill his lungs, he had to pull himself up. It quickly became exhausting.

The worst part was the cold. Montana had mentioned that this planet's average temperature was a little below what Cassidy was used to, but he didn't mention that the city they were infiltrating was located near the northern pole of the planet.

It was freezing.

Cassidy had long since stopped shivering.

He let his head loll forward. He wasn't sure he had the strength to wait for Montana anymore. He wasn't sure he had the strength for anything anymore. Even keeping his eyes open seemed a monumental task.

So, he let them fall shut.

••••

When he woke up, it was because he registered his center of gravity tilting on it's axis.

There was a body pressed against his. And it was warm.

If he had any remaining strength, he would have clung to his rescuer like there was no tomorrow. Instead, he settled for letting his head fall against the person's chest as he let out a pitiful whine.

A hand chafed up and down his shoulder. "Just relax. We'll get you warm. Don't you dare try to run off, Silver."

He wouldn't dream of it. Not when he could feel himself melting to putty in the arms of this stranger.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

LAST DRABBLE it's gene's turn. in this au he has spasthma (space asthma) and sometimes it hinders his job in Not good ways. and cassidy isn't heartless.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Cassidy really wasn't thinking when he threw the smoke bomb. All he knew was that the damned bounty hunter was catching up and he needed to throw him off.

He did not expect him to fall to his knees with a guttural coughing fit.

It would have been so easy to leave him there to rot, to hop in his ship and escape without looking back.

But when did Cassidy ever take the easy way out?

"Shit," He hissed, darting back to where Gene was kneeled with a palm supporting him on the ground.

He was clutching at his chest, choked gasps leaving him intermittently. His eyes looked vaguely panicked.

"C-Can't--" He wheezed, getting cut off by another coughing fit. He looked as if he was about to topple over.

Cassidy caught him by the arm and dragged him away from the busy street. He propped him up against an wall tucked into an alleyway and began rummaging around in his bag.

One of the younger kids with the Montana's crew had the same condition with all the same symptoms Gene was having right now. The kid was pretty forgetful, and Cassidy always made sure he had an extra rebreather on him. Just in case.

Gene was going to owe him big time.

His fingers finally grazed what he was looking for and he yanked it out, fumbling to get it open. He shook the small canister and pressed it to Gene's lips.

"You have to puff. Just try, okay? Just a little." Cassidy grabbed Gene's hand and placed it on his chest, exaggerating his own breathing to show him what to strive for.

Gene hiccuped slightly before taking a flimsy inhale. He breathed out and tried at it again, and found it gradually got easier.

When he could finally take a deep breath, he collapsed against the wall, panting. His hand didn't leave Cassidy's chest.

"Thank-- thank you," He whispered.

Cassidy smiled.

"Does this mean I get a headstart now?"

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

SETH thank you SO VERY MUCH for this ask and this au. i think i may like it more than their original au GOD i love them so so so much FHDJKFH. thank u for the requests and as always PLS dont be afraif to send more if the mood striked you but no pressure ofc! /gen

hope you enjoy my rambling bc this post was LONGGGGG

[sirfleetfoot]

I dont know my name or anything right now. I'm a new alter formed over the past couple of days and well.

Thats the thing. I got medicated for ADHD and my mind has quietened down and its so calm here. When I'm not stuck in the static of my thoughts, playing in several realms at once, I just feel like Loki. Right now anyway. Shifts do still occur but I find that unsavoury ones from alters who would take over for coping purposes, happen much less frequently. Its become kind of odd, actually. When interacting with the body's family and friends, instead of shifts occurring (I have no idea what happens when theyre in the same place. I feel only one of us is fronting and pretending to be the other one that would front to talk to a friend if family is also present) I kind of just stay me. Whoever I am right now.

Thats the thing. All of us are Loki. We're always Loki no matter who we are. Right now I feel more connected to the 'essence' of Loki, as I feel the flame flickering in my chest, nice and warm. But there's kind of a conflict because I want to put feathers in my hair and fly across cold plains which...I can't do that. Not in this realm at least.

I feel there needs to be a distinction between 'corporeal' - 'real world' - physical world, external world whatever its called, and the...er, other one. Incorporeal? Spiritual? I dunno. Yeah. Two things can be true at once. I've always thought of things as absolute - autism haha - so if one thing is true the other can't be. Because I like computers and gaming and maths and programming and doodling, it seems, well, kind of the opposite to what the fire in my chest makes me feel. When I'm more connected to my self as Loki, I think...pine needles for some reason or pinecones, that appeared somehow, and the opposite of tech, and falcons and swifts. Lots of swifts. Snakes too. Haha banana snake

Maybe shit isn't that deep. Maybe I can be two things at once. Well, three. Even though I'm the only one fronting right now.

Theres...me right now, kind of unknown name, maybe T(). Who wears modern clothing and has tech related interests.

And there's me right now who is the opposite of that. I'm Loki chilling out somewhere. It's either a mind palace of the past or me doing other stuff in other planes. Not sure. Completely different.

Oh and there's me in animal form. That's why I identify as a therian. I'm usually a snake, swift, falcon, or a shrike.

And these are true at the same time. That's the thing I've been struggling with grasping. If one thing is true how can that other thing be true? If im here and like these things and like this, how can I be pretty much the opposite in every single way, at the same time?

Answer: I don't know. But I do know that I operate in 3 planes default. (Not counting if im covering for another alter while they're off doing god knows what and theyre the one who made a friend who thinks I'm that alter so shit is really awkward and I just pretend it's me)

So I guess, 3 planes authentic.

1 plane (covering+masking plane) non authentic but still happening.

Before the meds I was operating on like...20 🗿 also, I couldn't tell which were intrusive thoughts and which were actual stuff that was relevant. So. 3 is perfectly OK.

So...tldr : stuff is weird. Very weird. It keeps getting weirder.

The more I realize what's going on the more I hate covering for other alters because now I know its not me my friend thought they talked to. In the past before I knew I was plural I got an odd bodily sensation like I was watching my body talk, like they were talking through me to somehow behind me and I'm just relaying info from the person behind me to them. Actually I think that's pretty accurate. I didn't understand why. I've only understood why more and more recently and...I guess, I'm angry that it is this way. Really angry. And because the body I live in is tainted with trauma, especially since I look like SK (first alter) it keeps triggering shifts to SK which is really annoying. Also I get confused and think I'm SK which I'm not. Also SK isn't really active, he kind of grew up a bit to Cleo, so...I feel Cleo ends up fronting every time I just...see a picture of my body's face. I can't express things well, even anger, in the external/physical/corporeal/'real' world because everything is twinged with trauma and one specific alter, some versions of Cleo, have been carrying us through for years and years and none of us know how to really exist outside of the internal worlds. I feel we will be able to with time, but its one of those problems that are relevant every second, every movement, just you can't ignore it and if its a problem it will continue to be a problem every moment. If you can't ignore it you deal with it. Oh and I'm trying to learn acceptance rather than problem solving. "Yeah this occurs. Yes it sucks. Yes its a problem. And that's OK. I dont have to try to solve every problem immediently, especially since its not possible, sometimes the solution is completely unknown to you right now, a new experience or perspective is needed. I'm going to live with it instead of feeling things that aren't desirable are villains to be killed. Theyre part of me. They make up bits of me. I can't choose the good bits and try to kill the bad bits. It's just not even true."

So, yeah. Gonna have to live with the fact that existing as of now is very confusing, uncomfortable, and weird. People are talking to other people and I have to pretend I'm other people and its frustrating and invalidating. My body is riddled with trauma and associations with the body's parent that are no longer relevant. Seeing it makes an alter who technically dosent exist anymore front - or try to. Or his thoughts bleed into mine. I dont know my name or my story. I exist 3 times at once. Annnd that's OK. It is what it is.

Written by T - 'Midwinter'

[splxtduxlies]

I ask for more agent 24 headcanons, those were soo good

no need to ask anon jus demand them of me like a king and ill dance like the court jester i am

agent 3 & 8 use she/they in my hc!

im a sucker for "8 fell first but 3 fell harder"

when 3 and 8 met, obviously they were at eachothers throats, and 3 was very. biased against octolings at the time bc of splat1 and stuff

so in no way was 3 admiring how well This octoling held up in battle, and how much smoother they moved or how much better their aim was or how gripping their eyes were or

8 was fucking fighting for her life, super scared of this random inkling after just watching her take down DJ Octavio and now she's bloodthirsty and aimed directly at 8 holy shit

the fight would ultimately end with a draw obviously (unless u beat inner 3 ofc) and it would be some time before 3 and 8 met again. 8 new immediately that 3 was the inkling who attacked her that night but 3 wouldn't really remember it until after shes freed the sanitizing and *really* looks at 8 again with new eyes

3 may not be as much of a outwardly obvious bleeding heart as 8 but she does care really deeply for them

their love languages are just. kinda different a little bit maybe

for 8 it's doing small acts of service and writing poems and fixing 3's hair and clothes. a lot of caring for 3 directly

whenever 8 feels emotions so strongly she doesnt know what to do with them, she writes poems :*) so a lot of pining and yearning poems were written ,,,

3's love language is more outward directed like. violently threatening any force that can be perceived as dangerous and dares to approach 8

mostly its a lot of 3 watching 8 carefully, looking for signs of stress or sickness or Anything bad so she can fix it

this, of course, to the average person can be perceived as staring, which, of course, is a little weird especially since 3's "focused face" looks very angry

3 would stare a lot at 8 before they were friends, when 3 was wary of octolings and 8 and thought she would turn on them at any moment. so 8 wonders sometimes if thats why 3 stares now and hopes she's not still scared of her :*(

a lot of miscommunication on 3's part when she tries to be affectionate,,, lol

for both of them, appearance at a given time doesn't matter all that much

8 is pretty beat up and covered in scars and grease from her weapons and 3 is pretty dishevled and wears the same 2 outfits and *reads note by marie* "hasn't been within 3 yards of a bathtube in months"

(marie is very dramatic about teenage stink, 3 doesn't smell That bad)

despite looking like they crawled out of hell in terms of exhaustion, 8 is that kind of "effortlessly natural pretty" that absolutely shocks 3 everytime

somehow shes been through sm but 8 still retains her big round doe eyes with no eye bags and no acne. the same cannot be said for 3 rip

this frustrates 3 but definitely not bc shes jealous its more like "how are u this beautiful it's annoying"

agent 3: i am not arguing w/ an octoling who has big brown eyes. like whatever you say beautiful

[soracities]

Oh this femininity convo is superb. I myself have recently started just being myself shamelessly, including wearing what i want without thinking will people like this or react badly or will people be disinterested in me etc I think it can be a big part of how we represent who we are to the world yknow 🤔 like i love long skirts and dresses to death (with pockets especially omg), i hate makeup (for mostly sensory reasons), i dont like shaving my pits even tho ive been told i should many times, i like boots and sneakers but also heels. I love cute delicate and feminine things but also functional and comfortable clothes. my outfits are kinda strange to look at i guess since they dont fit into any niche or aesthetic or even streotypical femininity but are rather an amalgamation of things i like that i think go nicely together and idk if i could even label it. Bc yeah i am a woman who likes feminine things but im a human being, and human beings are extremely complex and have several layers that dont fit into niches or aesthetics or boy girl categories (i also kind of hate aesthetics and how out of control its become everyone thinks they need to fit some aesthetic or category or group to be an acceptable person but yknow let's not even get into that rn bc lol thats a whole conversation by itself)

Point is we all care waaay too much what other people think and we try to fit ourselves into boxes to be acceptable and loved which is fair ig bc who doesnt want to be accepted at the end of the day, but putting on this show is so harmful to us and yet we still insist on the diets and the plastic surgery and shaming others or hating whats different. This isnt a new conversion its thousands of years old, yet we only seem to be going in circles :/

Oh anon I absolutely absolutely LOVE this for you, truly💕 I could not agree more and I think the one thing that really gets on my nerves about this whole thing is the way it is erasing all the multi-faceted dimensions that are inherent to being a human being in the first place--and that is such a deeply insidious and slippery slope to me.

I think the fact that this conversation is so old just shows how deeply important community and belonging is to us--and in a way I think it's a good thing that we are still having it because each and every time we get to improve a little; it means something, in my book at least, that even if we haven't fully succeeded in resolving it we are able, each time we talk about these things, to open a realm of possibility for someone, somewhere. And that's so important 🤍

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

this is gonna be a long rant but it's bothered me for a while

(non-ed related)

and any thoughts are welcome but it's mostly a rant

so basically i dont have a lot of girlfriends. i never have, all the ones i got close to generally either betrayed me in the worst ways or we moved and lost touch. (betrayal backstories is a whole other rant, but it's nauseating the way ive been treated by women who claimed to love me) so most of my friends are dudes, in fact, both of my true besties are.

anyway, i have really one solid girlfriend and shes a good bit younger than me. she also dont have a lot of friends in general, she has me and a small handful of others. she regards me as her bestie, i kind of guess shes mine but like...idk. i view her more like a younger sister, i guess.

so basically, she copies EVERYTHING i fucking do, within her means. like, before her and i were close, she just dressed pretty normal, no notable flavor or style. but now shes trying so hard to be goth bc i am. she cut her hair how mine used to be, dyed it black bc mine is, got all of the same piercings as me, yall get it. i wish i was exaggerating but im really not. even her mom messaged me to tell me she bases her style off me and shes glad im not a "greasy goth" (lol??)

but it's infuriating. i know i didnt invent goth. im not the first to have the piercings, hair, outfits, and interests i do...but it's really annoying to have someone base their entire style and interests off of me bc i have worked hard to curate myself as a person. i work hard for my aesthetic, im pretty thoughtful in my planning for outfits, how i decorated my home, everything, but especially bc these are genuine interests ive had since i was a preteen...and it's just so irksome to have someone try to imitate it as closely as possible every single day without any real, concrete interest in any of it, outside of prob just tryna be relatable to me

and a few weeks ago we got on the topic of sexuality and how im pan and have had gfs etc now shes magically also bisexual. she told me she got "tricked" by a straight girl recently but caught an attitude with me bc i told her if there wasnt clear intentions by both parties, she wasnt tricked, bc there was no flirting/romantic intent and that being bi/pan talking to straight women (or even other bi/pan wonen) doesn't automatically garner a romantic response. she didnt like that and got really snappy with me, but im not wrong. she tried to say she thought she was going on a date, but she was literally going to another friend's house to watch rupaul, and the other girl was also coming over, she sent me screenshots of the convo and like.....yeah, no, 1000% on her for thinking anything of it. she just picked said girl bc she was friends with her other friend and I guess it was an easy shot, but she also overlooked homegirl having a whole man too so like????? bro hello.

and i dont necessarily wanna be super confrontational about the aesthetic thing bc that just feels so middle school drama sToP cOpYiNg Me energy but it grates my skin...especially too bc like she also gets a little grumpy when she asks where my clothes are from and a lot of places i shop dont carry her size (shes a 3X or a 4X; ive never really looked or cared to see who carries what size bc im an xs so why would i??) and thats somehow my fault bc she cant buy the same shit i wear...or she complains she cant afford the docs or demonias etc like i have and its like okay curate your own damn style that you can afford bc like???? im not your fucking barbie doll mannequin?????

[firstdivisiongirl]

hello^^ id like to request a romantic match-up if its okay with you My pronouns are she/her and im an asexual. My MBTI is INTP and so please understand if im not able to identify myself that great. Yk the kid in the class who doesn't do any hw but passes all of the subject? Well yes thats me. Also im great at mathematics. I have kind of strict parents but more protective type so im not allowed to go to any person's house. I get told by my friends that when they first saw me i looked like a rly cold or egoistical person and all , as for my best friend (i asked her) to describe me in 1 word she said "comfort" so hope that makes sense. Im 5'2 tall... really bad eyesights like -6.25 and 5.75 (if i can remember correctly) . Im not really the outstanding type, but i do have some amount of confidence honestly. Also im a Christian and hope you get what i mean^^ Im able to like uhh copy people's personality and i currently have "the perfect girl" personality copied from the class president. I kinda sound like only complimenting myself soo here's some weaknesses or things like that I procrastinate so much and mostly doesn't get hw done until the deadline (im trying to stop even in the littlest). Horrible sleep schedule. And sometimes pushes ppl away out of frustration. I hate gathering any useless attention (like social anxiety). And mostly i do not feel much emotion until i like be burst of emotion. I really have a lot of great idea and is able to tell people if they're lying or not like kinda reading people but i dont really talk out loud about it, i only talk rarely about them out of fear they think im weird or smth because i was neglected and talked behind my back in 6th grade before. And a lazy fashion sense coming in!!!!!!!! i usually just wear baggy clothes or like wear smth the same mostly because im too tired to make another outfit and memorize it I like yanderes pretty much (crybaby, possessive, manipulating , clingy, obsessive type...) Deep inside im really clingy, childish and a sore loser , i don't really realize my surroundings so i tend to forget roads a lott I can be a motormouth if im comfortable by it and can be really quiet , some things depends on my mood tho Weirdly scared of person using the stairs behind me , bcz its really creepy. If a conversation annoyes or bothers me i really try and make excuses to get out of it.. Hope u can get smth out with my horrible explanation TT

and please remember to take care of urselff!!!!!! its my first ask so im a bit nervous TT its currently 10;37PM here, so have a great day and good day/night/morning!!!!!!^^ (me trying to come cheery and nice as much as possible)

cyaaa!!!!!:DD

Hey there. I try to take care of myself, but I am always a mess lol. Don't be nervous about asking. You did a good job. So onto the Tokyo Revengers matchup!

You Got...

Taiju Shiba!!!

He is a tough nut to crack, but I think he would love you.

Both of you are religious and would bond over that and go to church together.

He needs a a partner who is confident.

He'd love how you can be anything you want to be and copy others.

I feel like he needs someone who can read people well, since he is a lot. You would be able to understand what's going on in his mind. Good luck, I think it is scary in there.

Would scare off people who walk behind you

He's the type of guy who would make sure you never get lost

Wouldn't really care if you were in tight clothes or baggy clothes. He loves you for you. (If he cared about looks he would have kicked Inupi out for looking like discount Sabo lol)

Dates would be anything you want. But there must be good food!

Would like your clinginess. That means he gets to spend more time with you.

I hope you like it!

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Hi, so I'm not entirely sure if your still doing match up requests, and if you aren't pretend this doesnt exist. Also I love your works so much. They're so good.

If you are still doing matchups, could you possibly do a romantic matchup for harry potter, preferably marauders era cause it's my favorite. Maybe like a girl and boy cause I'm pansexual. also please and thank youuu!

I'm a teen girl and my pronouns are she/they. I have dark brown with hints of red in my hair cause I dyed it with a box dye that didn't really work. I promise you only see like red highlights in the sun. It's not ugly. And i have curtain bangs and some layers. I wear glasses because my eyesight has become horrible in the past few years.

I love reading and drawing..it's what I do the most. I like to read romance that has adventure or like mystery involved. I love dystopian and zombie apocalypse books, but am terribly afraid of zombjes. I also like coming of age stories cause I try to romanticize my life with those books. My room looks like a library and I no longer have any room for books, but I keep on buying more. I draw a ton and I really love watercolor. It's my absolute favorite thing in earth. I decorate my room with all my drawings. I love music, like phoebe bridgers and Taylor swift ( mainly folklore and evermore) as well as beabadoobee and the backseat lovers. My all time favorite though will forever be wallows. I also like the cure and flock of seagulls.

Along with that, I love the color green, especially paired with brown or like this magenta pinkish red and light purple. It's so pretty omg. My style is kind of cottagecore on some days, or grandpa on most. I wear a lot of sweaters during fall time. I love autumn omg. It's so fun. I love going to the mountains, mainly cloudcroft because it's so near my city and taking pictures of the changing leaves and mountains there. Also it means the cold is coming and holidays. I'm only happy during those times. I'm also kind of a person who has academic validation problems, so I try my best with school and always have all A's, except pre cal and math because I suck at it. 😭

Anyways thats it. Thank you!!!

Hi! At the time that you sent this in, I was still doing matchup requests! So, no worries! And thank you! I hope you enjoy your matchup! <333

---

Harry Potter (Marauders);

---

(Romantic);

Lily Evans:

💐 You lived a couple of houses down from the Evans's and you actually met Lily when you were both kids - what really brought the two of you together though, was you both loved to read; before Hogwarts, you both loved to have coloring playdates

💐 You and Lily would spend a lot of time together when you both got into Hogwarts too - studying together, listening to music from your cassette player, and going to Hogsmeade when you both could

💐 When the fall break comes, you and Lily go back home, but don't stay for long, you and her often traveled to wherever you could find pretty, picturesque mountains, and take pictures together - watching the leave change color

💐 During the holidays, Lily would often gift you sweaters, and other types of cottagecore clothing that make you smile - and that you feel comfortable in; in turn, you often gift her books and other sweet gifts that remind you of her

💐 You and Lily had always been great friends, always there for each other, and always there to make the other smile; who know what is in the future for the both of you

---

Remus Lupin:

🐺 You met Remus when you got to Hogwarts, it was only a matter of time since you were friends with Lily - James never seemed to leave her alone - that you would meet the secret wolfie boi

🐺 You and Remus had an instant connection, since you both read books - the moment he heard about how your room was completely filled with books, he was like (❤ ω ❤)

🐺 You and Remus often - when you weren't studying or hanging out with Lily - often spent time together in the library, reading, swapping books, and so forth; you both love discussing recent books the both of you have read

🐺 When the summer comes, you and Remus go to each other's places; at yours, you and Remus just lay down on your bedroom floor, listening to your favorite songs on your record player - just the two of you, in the peaceful abyss of music surrounding you - the tips of your fingers interlaced

🐺 You and Remus are very closely matched, having a love for books, the arts, and the world.

[dwindlinghaze]

Hi love! Congrats on 500 followers! Can I request 🩰 My physical description is; I am tan, 5’4, 130lb, I have dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. I like to wear casual clothes(cargo pants, mom jeans, sweaters, crops etc.) and minimal makeup. I am attracted to men. My favorite movie is Caroline and I love watching films and listening to music. I am studying psychology and Film in university. I am an INFP. I am always there for my friends. I have trust issues so I rarely tell people about the problems I have, and I am kinda closed off about sharing personal stuff. I am sarcastic and like to laugh at most situations. People say I have a calming voice and a rbf so I am kind of a contrast when people first meet me. I am selfless but since I am very insecure, this sometimes makes me question my friendships and relationships as if it is one-sided. Like I said I am very insecure and have low self-esteem but whoever notices says that they are surprised because I act very confident on the outside as a defense mechanism. I am a serious person mostly, not really silly or energetic so I feel like I am very boring. I really value my independence and do not like to be ordered around. I hate physical touch from most people but love it when it comes from people i value. I cant say the L word to anyone lol(daddy issues). My love languages are quality time, physical touch and acts of service. It is definitely NOT receiving gifts as materialism is a touchy subject to me. I have a hard time accepting materialistic gifts or help from others as it makes me feel weak. I think thats all I can share. Thank you in advance!

hello and tysm for participating in my 500 celebration

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

🩰 : i ship you with remus lupin

╰┈➤ remus was freaking out when he watched caroline for the first time with you. you have been telling him about the movie over the train ride so he was quite excited to see what's it all about. to say the least, he didn't like those button eyes. but, you both had a fun time so he enjoyed the hour spent anyway.

╰┈➤ you're an infp which is a great match with remus who is an infj. you both share similar traits and personalities but even then you weren't that similar so the it isn't boring.

╰┈➤ remus'd never intentionally make you feel insecure. navigating through love, life, and friendship is hard but remus is a loyal and kind boy who's always good with words of comfort.

╰┈➤ as i said before you both shared similar traits which in this case is being closed off. he understands that of course. you both would have to warm up with each other at first to achieve that point where it's comfortable enough to share your emotions with the other.

╰┈➤ remus is also a serious person but that doesn't mean he can't joke around being silly. he loves making you smile, he'd break down that calm and collected facade off of him when he's just with you.

╰┈➤ spending quality time is the base of the relationship. he isn't a big fan of pda either unless the person is someone he's committed to. that being said, because acts of service is also your love language he will be the gentleman of all men.

[lord-shitbox]

entire ask game. send me asks too or ill bite you really ahrd

assuming you said this for the 'weirder asks' game. godbless

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Gozu and mezu

lighter or matches?

I like lighters more but i only have a matchbox (the striking paper on it is shit anyways)

do you leave the window open at night?

ye

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

none

what color are your eyes?

brown

why did you do that?

do wot

hair-ties or scrunchies?

Hair ties

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

None. 2 glasses and a mason jar though 

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

Cold. on ice

would you slaughter the rich?

Idc about killing them i just want their wealth redistributed

favorite extracurricular activity?

Fucking around at the grocery store en masse

what kind of day is it?

Did not do a single piece of schoolwork but i did every other possible task

when was the last time you ate?

Within the hour. Had a bowl of rice on my desk

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

ya

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

no

can you drive?

no

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

nearsighted

what hair products do you use?

none

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

If you want me to ya

do you say soda or pop?

soda

something you’ve kept since childhood?

A lot of things. Stuffed animals, jewelry

what type of person are you?

chilling

how do you feel about chilly weather?

👍 but i prefer mild temperatures. The kind of just-barely cold that isnt really cold. I don’t like wearing lots of clothes

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

Depends on who you are. for u specifically, probly not much

perfume/body spray or lotion?

Mmmm…i dont own any body spray but i have mixed feelings about the texture of lotion. It’s not actually that bad but i don’t like putting wet stuff on me (same genre of sensory dislike as wearing lots of clothing)

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

Uh.. like daydream? There’s one i used to have but its really really edgy and embarrassing 

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

Last night, 12. On weekdays its like 6

do you wear a mask?

No sorry

how do you like your shower water?

warm

is there dishes in your room?

Yes leave me alone

what type of music keeps you grounded?

Heavy stuff. Like fast and hard noises. Nothing slow

do you have a favorite towel?

yeah

the last adventure you’ve been on?

Went 2 bowser movie wth an extended group of people last night and afterwards we walked to winco and did funny things in shopping carts

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

Tbh…no. Im really good at remembering song lyrics in general but i dont think there are any in particular i memorize

what’s your timezone?

Doxx me why don’t you

how many times have you changed your url?

Never <3

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

Uhh.. not really? Am not in much contact with childhood close friends (theres one ive seen a few times recently but we haven’t actually talked). I believe i’ve known tuna for upcoming 8yrs though

a soap bar that smells good?

I dont like bar soap i like the liquid kinds. Old spice

do you use lip balm?

During dry lip season (i forget when this is) my lips get dry as fuck 

did you have any snacks today?

ye

how do you take your coffee?

With ice and chocolate in it

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

Discord & instagram 

what’s your take on spicy foods?

yum (reasonable spice tolerance)

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Nobody…i hate some people 2 death (i dont think about them so i forget who they are) but theyre not bothering me rn so idc

can you remember what happened yesterday?

Bowser moive

favorite holiday film?

Year without a santa claus (IM MR FREEZE MISER)

what was the last message you sent?

“so far i think the only red text thats restricted to origin is mhin's”

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

Idk ive had sips in young youth. Parents would give me some so i could go “wow this tastes nasty” and not crave any ever (they were right for this)

can you skip rocks?

I may have done it successfully like twice in my life

can i tag you in random stuff?

Ya sure

[onmymasa22]

I have no love feelings for her. I dont. I love lucky more than her. I hate the idea of her lying on my bed. Her in my room. Thats my room. My safe place. Where i go back to. Why do i want to burn that room down like there was a prostitute in it. I wasnt asked. I feel disgusted that t was used. But it was only used twice. I dont like those kids. I tolerate them. I love mommy and daddy. I tolerate elie. How do u love someone that you dont love. I think i used to love him. Since he got married theres just no effort in the relationship. I put the same amount of effort he puts in.

Brekkie: pita with eggs

Lunch: pita with tuna and pickles

My friends are really not ur ur friends. And thats ok. My friends r my friends. Ur friends r ur friends. And i like my friends way better. Because trauma made u not legible. All their voices annoy me.

Wear blundstones

Pack birks

Food

Toiletriesbag

Book siddur

Waterbottle

Charger

The halacha is very clear

When there is

We are not actively killing anyone. We are releasing people who have tried to kill us. Should you release your people from captivity while releasing those who have tried to kill your people in the past. Im praying that everyone who we release should get blown up like the phone things.

When work at the crazy house decides u r now gonna be a personal counselor to a lady who annoys everyone else, but just compliments me on my clothes or red nail polish... so now i have a weekly scrabble date with her. We are officially entering our 90 year old lady era where we play scrabble (which i have no idea how to play yet) and talk to our girlfriends about recipes. All i need is the leakproof undies and the cane and I'm ready

Hes what its like:

I havent been on meds for a few days cuz ive woken up too late or just forgot to take em. And you know when u have a playlist going that is just so good u lose track of the songs. U dont rela

Having tickets to america for pesach is such a relief. Cuz since ive grown up, my relation with my parents is so strong

Im such a family person. They drive me crazy, dont get me wrong. With generational trauma, traumas that get passed down,

Im weird. I get anxious on the way to things. So i get there early.

I get to work for a night shift early.

I come to work for a night shift super duper early. Because im a nervo

Wjen u get to work early cuz ur nervous about the shift and ur like- its like flying... once im in the airport, im good. Its the whole getting there with all the bulk that makes me crazy. Ill leave five hours before the flight so that the fourty minute transportation can take two hours and i dont need to freak out about it. I can miss the train, and still be ok. So here i am, at work.

Im not an anticipation person. I have more trouble with the slatted stairs up to a rollercoaster than the ride.

I am more anxious about waiting in line for the roller coaster than riding the roller coaster, the ride to the airport than traveling, the way to work than work. Its all the anticipation before the event itsself. I hate getting ready for things. The getting ready makes me crazy. Im not a get ready kind of person. U want me to do something? Tell me "dalya we're going on an adventure and yes u can do it in pajamas"

I'm just not a get ready person. I hate that part. I hate the anticipation of things. I feel all the anxiety in the getting ready. The way to the airport. The way to a shift where I'll be the only staff member, the line for a rollercoaster. I will get to things hours early just so i dont need to worry about being late on top of it. U know how u get me to do anything?

Say "dalya we're going on an adventure and yes u can wear pajamas"

Do u see any pressure of getting ready there? No. Because it's not there.I cant fix this. I know. Yosef and his brothers didnt get along. They both were right. They both were wrong. But they didnt get along. And his brothers got rid of him. And elie stopped talking to us. And this sibling drama stuff isnt something i can fix in my lifetime. Hashem forgive me. I just dont have it in me. I cant fix the relationship. I dont do one sided relationships. I want people who want me. U want me in ur life? Show me. U dont? Thats fine. I grew up. Im over wishing that the people who are supposed to care will suddenly care. They dont. They wont. I tell them happy birthday. And thats it. Im not gonna be the only one putting in effort. I just cant care. Let the next generation fix it. Hashem i hope my kids all get along.

My day:

Woke up at 6, gave out the quarterly alotment of cigarettes. Dealt the drugs. Sit with the feelings of not being invited to something. Sit with it. Know how it feels and remember how it feels. Because when you celebrate something, you'll remember to invite the people. Remember the uncomfortable feelings so u dont cause them to someone else. It stings a little? Good. It'll help you remember to be inclusive. No one likes to feel on the outside. You don't want the day that's special for you to have negative feelings from someone else if all it took was an invitation. You want your day to just be happy.

You weren't invited? It stings a bit? Good. This will remind you to be a more inclusive person. Thats it. Gd decided you needed to work on inclusivity. U have room to build up a higher sensitivity to the people around you. To say "come join us" or "sit with me". "To be on the

When its ur turn to make lunch at work and u have no time so u make pasta, cook some veggies, and dump a little jar of pesto on it all and hope for the best cuz ur trying to mesh 2 degrees with work somehow. And u feel like u cooked it for too long cuz ur not used to cooking in bulk. So u showed up to work almost crying cuz u were worried its disgusting. But they tell u today that everyone had two bowls and couldnt stop eating it.

U wake up a 6:30 to people nagging u for cigarettes and drugs. Then

When it takes you at least three tries to form a sentence and figure out what you want to say

I feel like theres three kinds of people in tge world. Those who put up art when they

Anyone else feel like it has been forever since theyve layed in bdd last. Like

When u forget to turn youtube off before going to sleep, and you wake up to a video called "porsche 993 model guide: everything you need to know"... youtube, who do u think i am? I mean, i like cars as much as the next chick, but like I'd rather wake up to coldplay. Also, im an art student. I don't aspire to buy a porsche. I aspire to live in a villa by the sea. Get my dreams straight!

My day

Take meds

Daven shacharis

Take a walk

Create art

Daven mincha

Create more art

Daven maariv

Learn

I nervous spill.

When ur new light is a little yellow and ur little adhd heart is happy

I love evening shifts but its weird man. U can wake up at 10am, have an apple and pb, coffee, and sit on Instagram and feel awful about urself like "why r u so unproductive, u freakin loser, get urself going" but then ur like, no im working today in a few hours, im allowed to vedge now.

Btw, dont talk to urself like i talk to myself. I have stuff to work on

U can support people while not wanting them in your life. There are people who i wish all the best, occasionally see, and am genuinely happy for, but speaking to them and being around them is not enjoyable to me. They just leave me thinking ick. Because people go through all kinds of things. Sometimes trauma makes being friends with them impossible. Its just talking to someone who isnt 100%. And i act like i like them. But honestly, i dont. I just want quiet and boring

So today i showed my mancha what i made for her to help me build my final art exhibit. And its settling for me the idea that it's all such a process. That the first painting i make with acrylic is crap. The second is a keeper. The first clay things i made were too copy paste she said. The conch that i sculpted just cuz i had extra clay that i needed to do something with it, otherwise its garbage. I was already in the zone. Cuz the stuff i made was me just messing around. Will i put my jewelry on it? Yes. Will i use it for things in my room? Absolutely. But is it art? No. Its me practicing and warming up to the product.

[ghostingcrows]

Like it or not Keath doesn't get to control what other people think about their characters/what art gets made.

They chose to display these things publicly. The only thing they have a right to ask is that the people who draw/write the things they don't like won't send their work to them/tag them in it/that it'll be tagged appropriately so they can filter and block as needed.

They don't get to go full Anne Rice like they did on Twitter and ask people to actually police each other's work and report it to get copyright striked (which btw they have no legal right to do bc fanworks are transformative and fall under fair use).

If they weren't prepared to enforce their boundaries reasonably and legally then they shouldn't have put themselves in the public eye this way.

The fact remains that their discomfort is valid but censorship isn't. Any reaction they have to their emotions has to happen within legal boundaries (not trying to enforce a law that doesn't apply here to avoid potentially seeing something they'll find upsetting) and reasonable expectations.

I mean how are you going to ask thousands of people you don't know not to do something just because if you see it you'll be upset? Where does that end? Do people get to ask e/o not to wear clothes they find upsetting to look at or eat food they find gross in public or can we all admit this is kind of not how being a person works? Learn to curate your own experience and avoid things you don't want to see instead of expecting everyone around you to take responsibility for your emotions. You're not a toddler, Keath, you're a fucking adult and you need to act like it.

I mean I really really hate foot fetishes but I wouldn't try to get them scrubbed from the internet if people made them with my characters- in fact I've accepted that this has almost certainly happened already, and I'd just remember that block buttons were invented for exactly this reason.

Oh and before you even start on the assumptions:

- I haven't even seen the art they're complaining about and probably wouldn't like it myself

- The Chappell thing is another matter entirely and idk why you thought they belonged in the same post/are at all related issues. One is about a woman wanting the freedom to go out in public without being physically assaulted or harassed. The other is about a grown adult getting mad that they willingly posted something publicly in an internet they have presumably known things about already and as a result can't control who sees it or how they react. I mean ffs Keath can eliminate this whole problem by turning off their computer/phone/whatever and whatever they were upset about is gone. Chappell is having psychos call her parents and sexually assault her in public. What sane person thinks those are comparable?

Good lord-

Alright first off I included Chappell Roan because I was specifically thinking about people complaining about her cancelling her appearance at the music festival and being absolute assholes to her despite the fact she doesn't have to perform or share her art with us especially not when we are being assholes

Also

Don't fucking mansplain womens freedom to exist in public to me I am very much AFAB and have been harassed both verbally and physically in school and in public since I was in elementary school

And with Yaelokre

Thats not what censorship is you chronically online fuck stick

Yaelokre making the simple request that people treat them and their creations, which again are a PRIVILEGE for us to see and engage with ourselves, with a bare level minimum of respect is not fucking censorship

Yaelokre is not the fucking government and as you said they can't enforce it beyond blocking people

But they are still allowed to request people not be weird about it and be upset by people making absolutely horrible gross jokes about assaulting their characters

I'm not entirely sure when we decided that saying shit like that was normal and okay and not an absolutely bat shit insane thing to say to ANYONE much less someone you don't know but it IS