#i am the fucker
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cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"
#more beautiful quotes from the beautiful man include#'sorry for crying talking about getting fucked in the ass makes me so...how you say....nostalgic'#and#'i am so sad you have diseases i want to exchange blood. with you“#t'adore that fucker
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screaming and crying and listening to looking out for you by joy again
I GUESS I SHOULD STOP LOOKING OUTR FOR YOU LIKE I ALWAYS DOOOOO WHEN WILL YOU START LOOKING OUT FOR ME TO NINSTEAD OF LEAVING ME STARING AT MY SHOEEEESSS? IT'S JUST THE WAY YOU'RE GLANCING AT MEE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU MAKES ME GUILTY FOR LIKING YOUUU WHEN YOU'RE WITH HIM, WHEN YOU'RE WITH HIM
THIS IS A LOVE SONG FOR A GIRL WHO WILL NEVER KNOW IT'S ABOUT HER SHE'S BEAMING, THAT SMILE, ALL THE WHILE, I'M ALL CHOKED UP ON MY OWN THROAT, I GUESS THERE IS NO HOOOOPPEEE /lyr💔💔💔
#weasel's sillies#:3#put this fucker in jail please#me#i am the fucker#put me in jail for my unusual activities#im literally crying tho shes so fucking pretty you would never understand#HER GINGER FUCKING HAIR WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ginger hair blue eyes i love her sm ❤️❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#vagueposting abt my crush will never get old guys
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Being horny for mutuals is so fucking embarrassing because I’m grinding on a pillow like a bitch in heat for a girl across the planet whose saying the silliest things ever
#and that makes me want them carnally#robot girl#robot fucker#t4t yearning#yearning#hornyposting#actually grinding the air right now#why am i so gay#and embarrassing
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Alien franchise viewing experience
#tbh any horror really. if you're not a coward#alien 1979#aliens#alien romulus#moots im sorry for this out of pocket stance#ive been binging the alien franchise for the last week and got to see romulus today#i am unwell#alien franchise#terato#alien x human#slasher fucker#monster fucker#teratophillia#xenomorph#alien covenant#facehugger#exophilia
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monster fucker this monster fucker that... what about being a monster lover. What if I just want to cuddle with them and tell them I still love them even if they look and act differently from me
#monster fucker#monster boyfriend#monster lover#monster romance#monster girlfriend#monster x human#monster x reader#monster x you#i need more fluff in the monster tags#why am i being forced to fuck them and tahts it
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obsessed with this cross ai thing that's making rounds on objectumtwt
#yall i saw this ONCE and im crazy#hal x am love child real#objectum friendly#objectum#robot fucker#techum#his voice#you have to see it hear it#objectophilia#robotposting#robophilia
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breeding kink but ONLY for monster fucking. some human promising to put a baby in me does nothing for me. but a werewolf deep in rut desperate to mount and shove their swelling knot in me and we get locked together for at LEAST 15min until it deflates while my stomach visibly extends from how much cum is being pumped into my poor abused hole and whole time theyre rambling abt how great our pups are gonna be..? 😳😳
#i love ovipositors too please fill me with eggs of all shapes and sizes i am BEGGING#monsterfucking nsft#monster fucker#ftm breeding#breeding toy#breeding k1nk#ftm sub#ftm nsft#trans nsft
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.
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⚠️ non-con ⚠️ Ghostface doodle for this Halloween
🔪 🎃 Happy Oct 1st 🎃 🔪
#let the slasher smut begin#I am so fucking ready#ghostface scream#ghostface#slasher art#slasher fucker#slasher imagines#slashers#slasher smut#slasher fanart#tw noncon#dark smut#dark content#slasher thirst#ghostface smut
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jesus christ could you get any gayer
#i'd tell them to get a room but they'd most likely kill everyone in it#so i won't#i am a proud subscriber to drawing these fuckers with antlers and you can't take that away from me#anyways yeah no this was just an excuse to draw will in a waistcoat i can't help it i'm sorry i love formal wear#*runs away*#hannibal#hannibal nbc#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram#click for nicer colours because tumblr is evil and stole all my saturation
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I’ve had this image in my camera roll forever
#I am an old man fucker at heart#even though I’m ace I could give it to those old men#star trek#trekposting#star trek deep space nine#star trek ds9#ds9#deep space nine#star trek tng#star trek the next generation#the next generation#TNG#andy robinson#sir patrick stewart#rene auberjonois#armin shimerman
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screaming in vc when this was said
#warframe#ORDIS FUCKERS RISE UP THIS PATCH HAS SO MUCH FOOD#warframe spoilers#jade shadows spoilers#I really should have spoiled tagged them before I am sorry I was dum
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I am currently watching the Dimension 20 Fantasy High series (because I'm apparently using summer break to reach my peak nerd form) and I am very invested but also it's so fucking funny because the plot is literally "6 freshmen get detention and miss a significant part of orientation. several dead, even more injured, everyone traumatized"
plus the characters are just:
a living football
a wizard with anxiety who is clearly convinced making people puke will solve all her problems
a barbarian who sings when he gets mad
a cleric going through a religious identity crisis
Nepobaby™
a flirty wanna-be-emo-kid with daddy issues who thinks she's way more closed off than she actually is
and I think that's really girl boss.
#if any of you fuckers spoil it I'll kill you bc i am on ep.11#dimension 20#fantasy high#adaine abernant#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fabian seacaster#fig faeth
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IM SURE WE CAN FIND A WAY TO GET FREAKY FR AM PLEASE😭
#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream fanart#i have no mouth and i must scream#ihnmaims fanart#am ihnmaims#am fanart#allied master computer fanart#allied mastercomputer#AM#ted ihnmaims#harlan ellison#robot fucker#sorry…#am killing me in 4K
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𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐓𝐈𝐏𝐒𝐘. ume, sakura, suo, kaji, togame.
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: mentions of alcohol, drinking it, Ume’s cuteness and extreme softness, mega warning for Ume’s I kinda got ahead of myself again (it’s longer than the others ;;), AFAB!reader, NSFW FOR TOGAME AND HIS FILTHY MOUTH, small argument in Kaji's (but he makes up for it, I swear.)
𝐔𝐦𝐞.
- responsible, of course. He doesn’t drink and would most likely be the one cleaning up after everyone when they’re wasted, handing out cold bottles of electrolytes and glasses of water. Possibly the one passing around properly proportioned drinks so he could keep an eye on everyone, handing out snacks too. The absolute best Mama Hen (Papa Rooster?) you could ask for in a house party. But if you’re the only ones awake? He sneaks in a drink or two with you. An emotional drunk. Prepare to sniffle with him as he practically thanks you for being around, for being the absolute best, for being his best friend, for making him fall in love with yo—
“You’re the best, y’know that?” He sips his drink, nursing a bottle of electrolytes in his other hand. He says it so suddenly, so abruptly, you think you misheard it. You scoot closer to your best friend, arms pressed against each other as you both lean against the wall, facing your knocked out friends. With your cheek pressed onto his shoulder, you shake your head. “Should be telling you that, Ume. The party was a success because of you. Hiragi’s parent’s antiques live to see another day.” With that, he nudges you gently with a chuckle. “C’mon let me shower you with praise, alright? Listen.” Sounding a bit serious now, he has your full attention.
He threads his fingers through yours and he squeezes once. You squeeze back. Seeing his reddened knuckles from recent scuffles, you raise your intertwined fingers to your lips to press kisses onto each knuckle as he speaks. A dusting of pink ever present on his cheeks. You swear you could hear his heart beating at the same rhythm as yours is.
“I…” He pauses, tearing his eyes away from you for a moment before he looks into yours once more. Determined. Eyebrows slightly furrowed. “I think I love you—“, another pause, he shakes his head. You squeeze his hand in return to steady him and he gives you a smile you’ve never seen him give you before. Your heart’s beating double time now. “I—I know I love you. I do. More than just a friend, a companion. I know you might not feel the same way, maybe you see me as family and that’s fine but I just—“ “I love you too, idiot.” You interrupt his overthinking before continuing, “Always have. More than a friend, actually.”
If your friends weren’t a few feet from you both he’d scoop you up and twirl you around. Hell, if he had a tail he’d be wagging it nonstop by now. Your hands, now sweaty, are still intertwined. He’s practically beaming with sunlight, ready to burst. While you’re basking in it. Your sun. Your sun.
You both kissed each other that night with the taste of cheap whiskey and electrolytes on your lips.
𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐚.
- Asian glow, meet Sakura. Sakura puts the Asian glow to shame, my guy. He’s got a tomato for a head when he drinks. You’re not even touching or kissing him, he’s just… RED. Doesn’t like getting plastered but when he does get a couple of drinks in? He’s screaming for you every second, looking for you, needing you around him. (Nirei’s sprinting to look for you, Suo’s making Sakura drink enough water, Ume’s preparing a cold bottle of pocari sweat for him.) What normally would make Sakura run away screaming would now make him actually, fully accept it. You can feel him melt into you, pressing his cheek to yours. He’s a very clingy drunk. The others don’t point it out as much. They don’t want to poke the (extremely, extremely clingy) bear.
“Where is she???” He literally screams into the crowd, getting on his tippy toes and hopping over heads just to get a glance of you hopefully walking towards him. Nirei’s already lost in the group of people, weaving through them to get to you. Thankfully, you’re just at the kitchen whipping up a couple more drinks when Nirei finally found you. “He’s at it again, huh?” You say as you take a swig from your drink, looking at a messy haired Nirei. He looks like he went through hell and back. “Y-yeah. I think you should go. He’s been groaning for you nonstop-“ Nirei then guides you through the crowd, hand on your wrist so you wouldn’t get lost.
He pulls you towards Sakura whose now lounging on the couch. You both were hoping for a relieved Sakura but instead are met with your bicolor haired lover staring daggers into Nirei and his steady grip on your wrist. Nirei immediately lets go and as he does, Sakura pulls you into his lap causing your drink to spill a little, dribbling down your cheek and your neck. “What the hell Saku—“ you’re interrupted by him licking a strip up your neck, lapping at the spilled drink. His hands grow more possessive as they hold you closer to him, kneading your flesh through your clothes.
“Missed ya,” he mutters into your neck, nuzzling his nose into it like a kitten would. “Where’d ya run off to? Been looking everywhere for you, baby.” he’s a completely different person when he’s tipsy, clingy and touchy, not really caring if your friends see him practically claiming his spot as YOUR lover. “Went to make some drinks. Don’t tell me you need me with you all the time.” You tease him. While he’d normally blush and stammer at that, he’s now pressing kisses into your cheek, smiling into each one.
“Mhm. Need ya all the damn time, angel. Don’t leave.”
𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓.
𝐒𝐮𝐨.
- doesn’t drink (he doesn’t eat either so—) He really just doesn’t like drinking alcohol. He gets the appeal, sure. He could go for a couple of glasses, sure. He could maybe finish 2 bottles of whiskey by himself and not feel a thing, SURE. But he doesn’t like drinking it. He’s more of like a casual enjoyer, maybe having a finger or two of whiskey on the rocks with friends. Always the one cleaning up after them (Nirei) too. But when it’s just the both of you though, it’s a different story. Sure you can’t tell if he’s plastered or not from the get go but there’s a tell. He’s more… open with his emotions.
“You look gorgeous in that dress, my dove,” you turn slowly to your lover who’s eyeing you down from beside you. You’re both at one of the booths of the speakeasy you frequent, away from curious eyes. By the way he’s looking at you, you feel like he’s undressing you with his eyes almost. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows dryly. Is he blushing? You can’t tell under the dim lighting, “Absolutely—gorgeous,” he ghosts his fingers along your curves, his gaze following the invisible path he’s drawn out. Making sure to go extra, extra slow around your derrière before he pulls his hand away to take a swig of his drink.
“What’s gotten into you tonight? Drunk already?” You say while you reach over to straighten his suit out, trying your damndest not to let your growing arousal show. You swear you can feel the booth heating up. “Drunk off the alcohol? Oh, dearest no. Off of you, however? Well…” He’s staring at you from over his rocks glass. The ice clinks as he puts it down on the table.
“How could I not? I could drink you in all fucking night.” There’s that tell. There’s the swearing. You pause, meeting his heavily lidded gaze. You swallow. “Care to give me a taste, dove?”
You feel his fingers creep up your leg and you part them so willingly. Nobody’ll peek into your booth. Not with your lover around.
𝐊𝐚𝐣𝐢.
- Lightweight to Average drinker. He’s a sleepy drunk but he doesn’t want anyone seeing him in such a vulnerable state so he often opts to bail or not drink at all. Most of the time he bails though. Not about that social drinking life. Only you could manage to convince him to come with though. You’re always met with the tiniest amount of resistance but you can manage, right? (He’s got a soft spot for you. Of course he’d go. You don’t have to ask twice. He just likes seeing you pout when he says no the first time. It’s cute.) Still, don’t get him drunk please don’t—oh no he’s got a bottle in his hand. He’s guzzling it. Oh no. Ohhh no.
You’re in Hiragi’s bed, hidden under the covers with your lover’s arms wrapped around your waist and his face resting on your shoulder now fast asleep. How’d you both find yourselves here? Well, first, Kaji ended up breaking a couple of glasses (he swears it was an accident), then almost started a couple of fights (you know how he is with his mouth), then tried napping on the couch with you while everybody’s drinking (he was complaining about the noise but… it’s a party, Kaji.) Hiragi, thankfully, allowed you both to hole up in his room for a little while to sober up. Locked inside with a couple of bottles of pocari sweat (care of Umemiya!), you’re intertwined now.
You sigh, flicking your boyfriend’s forehead gently, “idiot,” he winces, tightening his grip around your waist to pull you closer. Thank god he’s mellower now. “Ow—shit! What’d you do that for?” He rubs his forehead on your cheek, HIS cheeks slightly blushing from the alcohol. “You shouldn’t have drunk too much-“ “Well you brought me here what was I supposed to d-“ “Oh I don’t know, not drink an entire bottle in one sit—“ You feel his lips against yours, the tiny argument now forgotten. You can taste the alcohol and some sweetness from his lollipop from earlier. Then you hear something you never thought you’d hear fall from his mouth willingly.
“…sorry.” Huh. You angle away to take a proper look at him. He only grumbles and hides deeper into your neck, using the covers as a shield against from you. He’s acting so needy and soft. If he wasn’t so tipsy you would have pounced on him to pepper kisses along his cheeks. You attempt to pull the blanket down but he’s holding it so tightly. “Say that again, baby? You’re what?” You can’t hide the smile from your lips but then he pinches your side causing you to yelp. “Y’heard me the first time.” Rolling your eyes, you nuzzle into his touch. “C’mon just a tiny one? The tiniest little sowwy? Fow me?” You whisper and you’re only met with three kisses on your forehead.
“I love you. Sorry.” You smile, bringing up Hiragi’s comfortable blanket over your sleepy bodies.
“Love you too, idiot.”
𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞.
Is an absolute lightweight so he ends up being a sleepy drunk or doesn’t drink at all. But with you around and he’s had maybe a drink and a half in his system? He’s absolutely feral. So touchy, SO so SOOOOO horny when he’s got even the slightest amount of alcohol in his system to get him tipsy. He’s touching you, caressing your face, your arms, your ass (if you’d allow him to. The man understands boundaries.) While he’s normally so soft spoken around you, teasing you in his own silly, dorky way, he’s a different man when he's tipsy. His vocabulary is a different beast. Sloppy and direct. His 6’2” frame and entire weight practically leaning onto you for support on Hiragi’s family couch — to some he looks as though he’s dozing off. It’s anything BUT that. He’s whispering the dirtiest, raunchiest things into your ear, teasing you with that deep voice of his. He knows what he’s doing. You like it, of course.
“I’m so fucking hard right now, doll—god it’s throbbing.” He whines softly into your neck, breathing so heavily you swear his body’s quivering. That voice does things to you and he KNOWS it. “Wanna fuck yet throat. Have my cum spillin’ down yer mouth, yer chest….fuck—y’put a spell on me, didn’t ya? Makin’ me wanna fuck all the damn time.” He ends it with a chuckle, peppering slow, loving kisses along your neck, clearly doesn’t care if anybody sees you both now. “Y’know, when yer not around, I fuck my fist to the thought of ya, of yer ass bouncing on me, of yer pussy dripping into my fingers. God I wanna fuck ya so badly right now—“ You can’t help it. You cross your legs to have some relief and you shift your weight slightly, feeling your throbbing clit pressed in between.
“Crossing your legs like that—yer getting off of this aren’t you? Wanna fuck me too huh?” He whispers, drawing it out slowly with a slight purr.
You nod and you can feel him perk up a little. He eases up as he stands slowly, pulling you up with him. He’s leading you down the hallway, away from the prying eyes of your peers. They’re all too busy to care where the both of you are headed.
“There’s a vacant room ‘round back. Hiragi wouldn’t mind, wouldn’t he?”
a/n: huuurrrr pulled this out of my bum I hope you like it omg I literally wrote Togame's half asleep asjdk also feeling very bad for Hiragi and his house. kaji part dedicated to @kajibunny and our late morning rambles btw ohoho i mahal na mahal u come get your man!!!!
#bonus: hiragi's conked out in one of the spare bedrooms out of stress. Ume has to take over. Hiragi'll be back up in 30 minutes.#not proof read it's literally 5 am in the morning where I'm from omg I'm eggshausted.#I was gonna add Endo and Uryu but--another day my fellow Endo and Uryu fuckers. my eyelids cannot take it atm ajskjd#bibi yaps#windbreaker headcanons#wind breaker smut#wind breaker x reader#jo togame x reader#windbreaker x reader#umemiya x reader#hajime umemiya x reader#haruka sakura smut#sakura haruka x reader#ren kaji x reader#ren kaji fluff#suo hayato x reader#hayato suo x reader#windbreaker smut
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