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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago

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Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Pregnant!Female!Reader) pt. 14

Hannibal reads too much into Max's attempt to reconcile and cult girl revisits her past.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: discussions of death, abandonment, military casualties, emotional abuse

You soon returned to the opera knowing you had nothing to hide. Hannibal selected for you an off-white maternity gown so form-fitting it was practically painted on. He wanted everyone to see that you, his queen, empress and goddess, were carrying his child.

It only took that evening for the whole dynamic to change. Suddenly, you were an expectant new mother. Imogen had been a massive hit, you were planning to go again.

You were affixing your heavy cubic zirconia earrings when you heard a knock at the door. You hesitated, but hurried down the stairs when you saw who it was.

"Max?" You said, upon opening the door. He stood there awkwardly, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Hi?"

"Hey, [F/N]." Max greeted, eyes darting nervously around the porch. "I just came around to apologize in person. I'm sorry I was such a chauvinist prick."

You leaned against the door. "Oh?"

"You were right." He continued. "I don't know what it's like to carry a baby, and, unless something goes very wrong, I never will."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." You smiled.

"Anyway, these are for you." He said, handing the bouquet over. "They're chrysanthemums."

"Thank you, Max." You said, accepting the flowers.

"Archie and I-" He scratched the back of his head. "We thought that, maybe, if you'd still have us, that we'd name the baby Chrysanthemum. With your permission, of course."

"Like the picture book?" Your face lit up. "With the little mouse girl?"

Max nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, exactly."

You hugged the bouquet into your chest and considered it again. You looked back at Hannibal, who hadn't looked up from his expectant fathers' website for a second all day. He surrounded himself with books about child psychology, attachment theory, developmental behavior patterns and somehow found himself on a tangent about institutionalized misogyny in medicine.

"I'm sorry, Max." You said, sincerely. "I really do appreciate you coming down here and apologizing, but-"

Max put his hands up and gave you a disarming smile. "I understand. Plans change."

"I just really want to stress that it's not you." You assured him. "I've kind of... really grown to like the idea of being a parent. And I think that was Hannibal's plan all along, too."

"I believe a congratulations is in order, then." His voice turned up in delight. "I'm very happy for you. Both of you."

You clutched the bouquet to your chest. "Thank you."

"Well, I'd better get going." He stepped backwards down the stairs. "I've got three pints of Ben and Jerry's in the backseat and Archie'll have my head if I come home and they've melted."

"Max, wait." You stopped him before he could get down the driveway.

"Hm?"

You leaned against the threshold and smiled warmly. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Max returned the smile. "Of course not."

You waved goodbye and shut the door. You hurried to the kitchen to put the flowers in water before you had to go.

"Who was that, love?" Hannibal asked, half-heartedly. He was still very fixated on his research.

"Max Thomas-Park." You answered, unwrapping the flowers from the decorative plastic.

Hannibal looked up from his computer, but left the room silent for you to fill.

"He wanted to make amends." You explained. You walked across the room to the china cabinet and selected a vase big enough to hold the ornate bouquet. "Brought flowers and everything."

"Chrysanthemums?" He asked, sniffing the air.

"I see your sense of smell is coming back." You commented.

"Interesting selection." He narrowed his eyes on the bouquet.

"Well, he said that was what he wanted to name the kid." You offered. "It was a cute pitch, not gonna lie."

Hannibal shut his laptop and examined the bouquet up close. "If he wanted to express regret, he would have done better to bring you blue or purple hyacinths."

"Well, like I said." You made a point to project a little more. "He said he wanted to name his daughter chrysanthemum."

"Mums are given to show sympathy for those in mourning." Hannibal continued, clearly having his own conversation.

"Hannibal-"

"I think your cousin got her hooks in him and he's planning to--" He cut himself off, lest he speak the unthinkable into reality. "That's why he brought mourning flowers."

"Max Thomas-Park is conspiring with Anna to kill our unborn baby?" You said, flatly, to emphasize how insane he sounded.

Hannibal held a bloom between his fingers and looked closely at it. "It's the kind of hint I would leave. For courtesy's sake."

"I think looking at parenting blogs all day has made you a little paranoid." You observed, knowing full well that an overprotective husband and soon-to-be father of your child was not a bad problem to have. Nevertheless, you shut the laptop and touched his cheek. "Come on. We're going to be late for the opera."

You heaved yourself into the passenger's seat of the car, feeling the seat give beneath your heavy frame. Every time you got into the car, you remembered that you needed to shop for a car seat. The thought just as soon left your mind every time.

“We need to look for a car seat.” You said as Hannibal shut the door, hoping that he’d remember.

“I mean,” Hannibal blurted out, still lost in his own conversation. “Max is a cultured and well-educated man. He has to know the implications of his flowers.”

You huffed, dreading to think that paranoid delusion was symptomatic of his parenting style. “Right. The twenty-seven year old data analyst who graduated with a finance MBA from UChicago is also proficient in the outdated and frivolous language of flowers.”

“In Italy, mums are only given as comfort for loss.” Hannibal said with undeserved conviction. “Exclusively, [F/N].”

You rolled your eyes and typed something up on your phone. You raised your eyebrows, feeling a bit proud of yourself for what you found.

“In Korea, y’know, the country that Max’s family is from,” You corrected. “The chrysanthemum is a symbol of friendship.”

Hannibal tensed up for a moment, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. It was as if he were trying to break himself out of a trance. “...I’m sorry, darling.”

“I know you’re scared.” You stared at his profile, trying to make out an expression. “I’m also... pretty scared. But you can’t take it out on a guy who has nothing to do with it.”

“I am scared.” He affirmed, but the way in which he did was a telltale sign that he wasn’t giving you the full story.

“Of?” You raised your eyebrow. “Finish the sentence, Hannibal.”

"I need to keep our baby safe." He answered. "And I cannot in good conscience let her come into the world knowing that someone wants to hurt her. To hurt you."

You sighed. "Hannibal, are you seriously still worried about Anna?"

"Don't underestimate the role privilege and entitlement plays in the decision to commit acts of violence." He enunciated carefully. "You of all people should know that."

"Anna has cultivated such a perfect victim image to project outwardly that even a hint of proactive violence would shatter it." You explained. "She's the poor girl who has things done to her. Her evil cousin ruined her marriage. Her evil cousin destroyed her career. And she's the innocent victim in all of it."

"Logically, I know that you can speak on her behavior with more authority than I." Hannibal admitted.

"No shit." You scoffed. "I had to live with her."

"Can we at least entertain the idea that she has something planned?" He pleaded.

"I'm surprised at you." You said. "You never really struck me as the overly-cautious type."

Hannibal shook his head. "With my own life, I'm willing to gamble. But not when it's you. And not when it's Imogen."

You tensed up. His admitted willingness to put himself in danger unlocked a core memory you had buried deep down. The only thing you knew about your own father was that he was willing to put himself in danger. To go overseas and die for fuck-all instead of live for the child he selfishly created then abandoned. He chose to give his life for oil. You didn't choose to grow up without a father and your mother didn't choose to raise a child without a partner. He made that choice for you.

"Now what are you not telling me?" Hannibal broke you out of your trance. "I know that look, [F/N]."

"Nothing." You shook your head. "You should really not plan on dying anytime soon."

"I promise you, I am not going anywhere." His voice softened. "Least of all, to Iraq."

"Okay, you're a pretty good therapist but you never told me you could read minds." You threw your hands up in defeat. "Are you a psychiatrist or are you Loki?"

"As fun as being the god of mischief would be," Hannibal smiled to himself. "I just happen to have a steel-trap memory and an admittedly quite obsessive fixation on the mental health of the mother of my child."

"I swear to god I never told you about him." You denied. "Not even in passing."

"You didn't have to." He assured you. "Beatrice did."

You were surprised for a fraction of a second until the information sat in your head long enough to realize it wasn’t surprising in the slightest. Beatrice took every opportunity she got to brag about her son's sacrifices. She never once mentioned the sacrifices he forced upon you. Only that her son was a hero.

"Did you get the 'don't believe anything [F/N] has to say about my son' speech?" Your voice flattened in complete non-surprise.

"It was a prepared speech?" Hannibal chuckled. "Pity. I thought I was special."

"She gave it to my first boyfriend." You rolled your eyes. "We were, like, fifteen."

"The root of your psychological issues becomes clearer every time we talk about Beatrice." He commented under his breath.

"I know." You conceded.

He pulled into the parking lot, turned the car off and placed his hand over yours.

"Your father was a coward." He said, bluntly. It was nice to hear what had been echoing in the back of your head out loud for once. "I know no country to serve. No god to glorify. I promise, you have the whole of me. My mind, body and soul belongs to you and our child."

You squeezed his hand. "I couldn't ask for anything else."

#hannibal lecter #hannibal x you #hannibal x reader #hannibal nbc #cult girl #more cult girl #cult girl doctorate #cult girl 2 #tw death #tw family #pregnant reader #hannibal x pregnant reader

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denkineptune · 4 years ago

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mha date headcanons- boys and girls :))

♡ request: “i love ur blog already, ur writing is so good!!! im so excited to see the content u’ll be posting !! :D since ur taking requests, how abt some date headcanons for the mha boys (or girls if u want!) ?” - @dianangels

♡ thank you for letting me write girls aaa i chose to do some as first date hc. it was kinda hard to keep jirou’s gn because i wanted to reference wlw stereotypes but i succeeded in gender-neutral because i want everyone to be able to enjoy

♡ dedicating part of this to @anxious-botanist because she’s the one who inspired the momo cuddles hehe sorry it took so long

♡ fic details: headcanons, fluff, gender-neutral reader, 2nd pov

characters: kaminari, amajiki, jirou, ashido, yaoyorozu

kaminari- arcade

↠AR C ADE DA T E

↠you hear me??? arcade!! date!! ideal man, right here, someone claim him immediately or else i will be forced to take ownership

↠he’s super laid back and chill, pretty childish at heart. he only means the best, though, so i think an arcade is exactly what he would go for when taking you on a date! he doesn’t have a lot of money but still wants you to go home with something to remember the date by

↠he buys like $50 worth of tokens and splits it between the two of you, making sure that he tells you which games give the most tickets, because he’s definitely been here enough times to remember

↠his favorite game is either crossy roads or the big bass wheel- he loves crossy roads because of how cute the style is, but also there is impending stress and levels of d o o m as you progress further. big bass wheel is basically just gambling, and i think he’s yumeko jabami.

↠he hacks games to make you win sometimes,, his quirk is bascially designed to do this. it’s like he was born just to take you out on this arcade date. he uses his quirk to short circuit the game and trick the computer into giving you hundreds of tickets

↠he just wants to make you happy and see you smile!! there’s not a feeling quite like succeeding at something as silly as an arcade game, but there’s a certain pride to it that he loves seeing on your face.

↠kaminari only does it a few times, since he knows that you should be earning your prizes ((not that you know when he does it, he’s really cheeky about it))

↠playyyy multiplayers with him! he loves DDR (dance dance revolution)- you do multiple rounds and are equally exhausted by the end of it akdflad you may not be good, and tbh neither is denki, but you still have fun, which is what matters

↠he also loves taking photobooth pictures, he puts on the most horrendous filters and does the dumbest poses, but it’s so adorable. he does the typical one smile, one “serious”, one silly face, one kith > <

↠kami gets cocky,,, it’s just how he is,, he gets overly confident whether or not he’s been on a winstreak

“heyy, y/n! look at my speedrun on this, i’m getting so many tickets, i’ll be able to get a house by the end of it!”

↠and then he CAN’T because he doesn’t get the jackpot eghgdhgeh

↠by the end of the day, you’ve spent hours at the arcade, laughing and screaming with denki as you terrorize the small children. yes, he’s that kind of guy

↠by “terrorize”, i don’t mean like a bully, but he’s unintentionally intimidating kids with his pockets overflowing with ticket chains, a crazed look on his face as he goes absolutely ham on the shooting games

↠there’s electricity coming off of him, kids sometimes have to dodge it when passing by

↠so anyways, by the end of the date, you’re basically being kicked out of the arcade, because, as kami puts it,

“we were here when it opened and i’ll be damned if we’re not here when it closes,”

↠between the two of you, you’ve aquired tens of thousands of tickets??? the employees probably hate y’all, they had to count those beasts of ticket rolls you’ve accumulated during the 10 hours the arcade was open

↠exactly 62,069 tickets (69 go brrr- kaminari’s brain), and you can basically buy the arcade with that currency

↠but here’s the thing: he lets you spend all of it. you heard me, all. of. it. he just wants to see you happy, and the best way he can think of to get a final glorious memory of your smile is to let you spend the tickets as you see fit, this generosity just to see you glowing as you walk out of the building, arms chock full of amazing junk

↠but of course, you’d feel bad if you spent all of it, especially since he was the one who took you out, so you offered him the half of the tickets that were won

“denki, you won most of these with your amAzINg gaming skills, it’s only fair you get to have something too,”

“my prize will be seeing you- your- your-- aw fuck, i forgot the line, it’ll come back to me, just give me a minute.”

↠he tried to be smooth and it failed, but you chuckled at the attempt, so all around, he considered it a success

↠denki gets a lot of dumb things that will probably end up being thrown away soon, but he also gets you a very soft bat stuffed animal that you should treasure and keep forever

amajiki- a walk and picnic in a japanese garden

↠tamaki is very shy, very socially anxious. he’s the kind to wait for people to leave a section of a store before he goes there, purposely do his errands in the early morning to limit social interaction, and find any excuse to leave a situation. which, tbh, isn’t that all of us?

↠let’s be honest here, if it wasn’t y’alls first date, he’d probably not go anywhere. as long as he’s with you, he doesn’t really care for anything too fancy

↠but he’s convinced himself that he needs to do something reasonably big for your first date to make sure you don’t regret your decision to go out with him. so instead of deciding to stay in, he goes somewhere that’s only slightly anxious for him, but where he still feels comfortable

↠so he’s decided on a japanese tsukiyama garden! these places are beautiful by design, not cheap but not too expensive, and people are obligated by rules to be quiet and keep their hands to themselves

↠nobody goes to a garden to socialize, in fact, i’d argue most people go just to look around, rest, and clear their heads. there’s usually not any screaming children, no quirk usage, no villains, it’s a little safe haven.

↠bonus: there’s butterflies :))

↠it’s so peaceful, and he gets to focus on you instead of whatever loud noise is making him anxious

↠he brings a picnic basket filled with all your favorite foods, and his! he makes a show out of displaying what he can manifest with different snacks, making a point to eat edible seeds so he can produce flowers for you 🥺🥺🥺

↠you walk around the garden for a few hours, marveling at the decor and how well-maintained everything is. there’s a koi pond, hanging wisteria trees, and multiple gazebos that create a really comfortable and calm environment

↠speaking of koi ponds, amajiki offers to buy you food so you can feed the fish! you stand on a bridge above the pond, sharing the container with him. the sMILE on his face when he watches you throw the food is so pure i’m-

↠he’s the walking embodiment of “uwu”- his face is so calm and his eyes are shining and he can feel his heart swelling with love i am GOING to cry my eyes out

↠but honestly, he wishes he could stay in this moment forever- you’re happy, he’s happy, and it feels like you two are the only people in the universe. right now, he doesn’t have to worry about school, villain attacks, his future, or anything that makes him anxious; all that he can see right now is how beautiful and at peace you look. he took you out today, and you’re enjoying yourself. this is one of the few things that makes him confident: knowing that he’s able to make you happy

↠tamaki is silently celebrating; you’ve had a good time and he didn’t freak out, so it’s the best possible scenario!

ashido- rollerskating! ((look at her she’s adorable the smile n the eyes aaa))

↠mina is a very energetic and bubbly person, its quite obvious if you’ve spent any amount of time around her

↠for your first date with her, she’d already have a location in mind!!

↠the atmosphere of rollerskating rinks is so electric, she can’t help but feel happy there, and she wants to experience that lovely feeling with you, too :))

↠you enter the rink, and mina is already borderline bouncing off the walls alskdfj

↠whether or not you’ve ever skated before, ashido is super cautious with you- multiple times she’s fallen on her butt while learning how to skate, so unless you’re a pro, she’s watching your every move to make sure you don’t get hurt

“y/n! please be careful- you’re not getting hurt on my watch!”

↠she jabs a thumb in her direction proudly, with the cutest bigass grin on her face awh 🥺🥺🥺she’s really enthusiastic about sharing one of her passions with you

“try to balance, alright? don’t put too much weight on your heel or toes, because then you’ll fall on your butt. here, take my hand and i’ll help you! hey, there you go, you’re doing great!”

↠she pays for everything and will WRESTLE you if you try to disagree aldkfa if you’re the type of person to pay for everything as well, y’all are going to have to fight; mina will not give up

↠ashido comes here a lot, so she’s friendly with all the employees, she has the uncanny ability to make friends wherever she goes ((i mean she’s friends with bakugou,, if she can do that,, she can do anything))

↠she takes one of your hands and backs onto the rink, watching for anyone behind her. once you’re balanced properly, she shows you how to move your feet so that the two of you are in sync

↠skating isn’t super hard to figure out, it’s mostly intuitive, so you’ll get the hang of it quite quickly!! maybe you’re not too fast, but it’s still fun, so it doesn’t matter

↠while you’re moving with care, making sure to focus on your footwork, mina will definitely take the chance to show off her skating skills! she’s moving like crazy, weaving around other people and nearly toppling them over but shh she’s trying to impress you and if i’m being honest??? she’s really fucking good aldkdf

↠it’s obvious that she loves this hobby, and the fact that she likes you enough to share it with you on your first date is so adorable aaaa

↠mina’s really agile- you don’t know if that’s all the hero training or just something that comes naturally, but the way she moves makes skating look like the easiest goddamn thing in the world-

↠she’s such a romantic, she’s definitely put in a request for the dj to play your favorite song, no matter if it fits the mood or not

↠heavy rock? sure!! as long as you’re having fun, who cares about what other people think? super vulgar rap?? w h y n o t ? !

↠she just has that extroverted, positive, charming energy that’s infectious

↠you can’t help but feel at ease around her, she’s a genuinely a great person, and what you think the epitome of a hero is

↠all ashido really wants here is to have fun with you- i mean she really likes you, and hopes that she’ll get to go on another date w/ you, so she’s doing everything in her power to woo u

↠and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t working 🥺👉👈

jirou- hanging out in her room

↠kyouka jirou, being the more introverted person she is, wouldn’t really want to go somewhere super public, like mina would

↠i also believe that she’d want to be friends (or at least acquaintances) with you before asking you on a date- she’s easily annoyed by people, so i think that she’d need to be comfortable around you if she was to be romantically interested

↠and you’ve ticked all these boxes! you understand her sarcastic, blunt personality, and find it pretty amusing. beyond all that, she’s kind and caring, and deep down, she aspires to be a hero for all the right reasons. who wouldn’t love her for that?

↠so for your first date with kyouka, i think she’d want to be somewhere quiet and intimate with you. she wouldn’t want any interruptions ((specifically from jammingyay, who enjoys butting his head in other peoples’ business))

↠the most comfortable place for her would be her room, since it’s really just an extension of her personality, and since you’re quite close, she’d be okay with letting you in her private space. she trusts you.

↠just two guys bein dudes 🤠 ((if you’re a girl, it’s just sappho and her friend--))

↠music is one of the biggest things in jirou’s life, and i think she’d want to share it with you. that is, if you’d let her :)) she has dozens of different instruments, so if you want to attempt to learn something, she’d be totally down!!

↠please show her what kind of music you’re into! no matter what it is, she’ll listen to it. she wants to get to know what kind of person you are when you’re not around other people, and music is a great way to do that. even if you don’t have the same taste as her, she wouldn’t mind, since a) she’ll listen to pretty much anything, she’s not picky; and b) it’s something that you’re showing her, and that’s enough to make her happy

↠she’s not a very formal person, so i think she’d just want to talk to you and hang out. i’d think kyouka would be more of a fan of a gradual relationship, one that starts from friends and slowly evolves into more. and yes, as you can probably tell, i am a sucker for mutual pining and friends-to-lovers tropes-- im a simple hoe 😌

↠she’s super fun to hang out with!! her sense of humor is really snarky, she also enjoys talking shit about people she doesn’t like. if you’re not into that, she’s able to carry on conversation really well. there’s not a moment of awkward silence between you

↠jirou actually really likes talking shit about people hsahsh- as long as it’s someone that’s been mean in some way. she won’t say anything bad about someone who hasn’t done anything to deserve it. but if you’ve wronged her in some way, boy, do you have it COMING

↠by the end of it, i just know your cheeks hurt from laughing

↠she’s just a really fun person to be around, she may not be the most bubbly person ever, but she’s super easy-going and cool ((jirou bias incoming ekejke))

↠i do think she’d try to sneak some kind of affection if she thinks you’d reciprocate- if you’re really getting along well, she might snake her hand into yours when you’re sitting on the bed, laughing

↠honestly you might not even notice until she stops, because your hand feels empty and cold without her like your heart aa

↠if she’s really into you?? might get a smol peck on the cheek 👉👈 please try to get a smol peck on the cheek, it’s very cute and she gets so flustered

↠she goes up to you as you’re about to leave her room, grabs your shoulder, turns you around, and gives you an adorable if not slightly aggressive smooch

↠then she reFUSES to acknowledge what she just did akdfld- she turns away, beet red, and is completely silent

↠meanwhile you’re probably laughing your ass off because wow she’s so cute

↠kudos if you give one back to her, baby is on the verge of exploding ejkdjf

↠her heart just can’t handle what you’re doing to her

↠and despite what her appearance is, her heart is doing backflips- she’s whipped <33

momo: tea and c u d d l e s

↠she’s a very fancy person, obviously. yaoyorozu wants only the best for everyone she loves, and that, of course, includes you! she loves showing affection through giving things to others. her family status only magnifies this aspect of her personality, as being born into wealth gives her the means to spoil you rotten

↠and even though she’s bougie as all hell, she also somehow maintains an elegant and simple air about her. it’s impressive, really. it’s not like she tries to flex her money, it’s just a part of her life, and she enjoys using her privilege well

↠that being said, what’s more elegant and mature than going for tea? it’s a lovely pastime that momo would love to include you in!

↠lowkey,, she’s a whole sugar momma dfkdjla im not even joking- she doesn’t try to be, but virtually everything she does shows how rich she is

↠you arrive at the tea room, and by god is it fancy. there’s multiple chandeliers suspended from the ceiling, which is decorated with classic renaissance-style paintings. all the tables are set with white cloth, plates made of pure fine china, flowers and woven baskets set everywhere to create a cottagecore-like setting. the air about it is so sophisticated, from the patrons (wait is that a celebrity-) to the decorations

↠your face is kinda just,,, 😮,, because what in the world did momo get you into??

“momo, you’re so sweet, and this place is lovely, but don’t you think this is a bit much? not that i don’t absolutely appreciate it, it’s just that this seems really expensive, and i don’t want you to have to spend that much for just one date.”

↠she just chuckles, saying that it was “really nothing” (???? MISS GIRL???)

“don’t worry, y/n, this isn’t too much! i want to have fun today, and this place is so nice! let’s just find a table, alright?”

↠like, hunney, you’re so kind, but this is a LOT

↠but if you say so....

↠she looks at you with the most enthusiastic, wholesome eyes, and soon you’re following her like a puppy towards your table. the waiter sits you down, and leaves, giving you a moment to glaze over the menu to find a drink

↠and there’s so many types of teas, at least 30 on this page alone. you hadn’t even heard of half of these drinks, how would you know if you’d like them?

↠yaomomo seemed to notice your puzzlement, and said that you could get a pot of something simple, like jasmine green or earl grey, and she would get something fancier that you could try. why not?

↠a few minutes later, you’ve already adjusted to the sophisticated and intimidating environment, focusing only on the girl across from you, and how her eyes glittered with happiness

↠she orders a few normal tea foods, like scones with jam, lemon curd, and devonshire cream, and finger sandwiches. the fanciest thing she buys, though, is a blooming tea that arrives in a clear pot. it has an open flower inside of it, which is what the tea is infused with. it’s nearly 16,100 yen for one pot, though, and while you protest its expense, momo reassures you that it’s no problem (you just learned not to say anything about money, as it wouldn’t stop yaoyorozu from spoiling you)

↠ngl, it’s so fun to pretend to be fancy for a few hours at a tea room !! you acted as if you were a member of high society, using stereotypes to exaggerate your actions. it made some people only slightly irritated, but hey, it got a laugh out of a pretty girl, so who’s the real winner?

↠yaomomo taught you some classy etiquette that you should definitely use, it makes her so happy to think that you’re learning about new things while still enjoying your time with her

↠she makes really good conversation!! her intellect seeps through everything she says, anyone who talks to her would be able to tell that she’s extremely well-spoken and mature. momo is modest, and deflects a lot of the compliments you try to give her, so if you try to display your admiration for her, you’d probably need to be very specific about it. she doesn’t have the best self-image when it comes to her heroism and field work. spoken affection sometimes doesn’t get through to her, but you know what does? physical affection!

↠she loves cuddles, and will regularly take you back to her house after a date to cuddle in her bed. her mattress is legendary, and it’s comfortable as hell. there’s an abundance of pillows and the bed isn’t too soft or too firm, and it’s always somehow an amazing temperature???? mattresses are investments, and this was definitely a good one

↠momo loves the intimacy and trust of holding you, it allows her to escape from overthinking and only focus on you, her beautiful partner. she doesn’t care if she’s the big or little spoon, but her favorite kind of cuddling is when you’re on your back and she’s curled into your side, head tucked under your chin and hand on your chest

↠she can do this for hours, please let her. she feels safe with you, confident, because you’re choosing to spend time with her in this quiet moment instead of being off somewhere else.

↠in conclusion,,, 💕women 💕

-denkineptune

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misdre · 2 years ago

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here is an ultimate guide to my book reading ritual. it is the culmination of a progress of a few years

i have four different, hand-written lists of books that i've hung on my fridge door and a wall. one is a list of books recommended to me by people here back when i made a post asking for recs. one is a generic "x number of books everyone should read" from some finnish blog. one is a list of finnish book recs from some finnish blog. and one i have manually compiled from a reddit thread titled something like "genuinely disturbing horror novels" or something similar. i only read books from the latter around halloween so it's mainly untouched, the rest i follow in order, no two books in a row from the same list. i cross a title over when i'm done with it. in the tumblr recommendation post i got some "(any) books by x" recs, so there i just write a little x for each book finished by that author. one of my favourite little moments is getting to open my local library's page and look up a new book from the next list that's up and see where i can get it and then either put a reservation on it or plan when to do the next library trip to get it (usually i get at least two in one go though so more like look up next 2)

sometimes (but rarely, actually) a book just is no good tho and i don't feel like finishing it. i generally give it 100 pages to convince me before dropping it (or something like, 2 hours of an audiobook) and if i'm unconvinced i smudge it over on the list like Shame on you and your entire family.

i have three different bookmarks and choose one that best fits the colour of the covers. the better it fits the more pleased i am. i like also just looking at the current book sitting there with the bookmark that fits nicely

i read books out loud, and getting to pronounce all the names (in non-finnish books) is the best part so i make sure to get them right. sometimes i google how to pronounce things. if it's by an english-speaking author, i pronounce english the british way if it's a british author, american way if it's an american author and so on. i read the entire three musketeers constantly googling french place names

i take a sip of water between paragraph or chapter breaks and have a proper drinking pause every 5 pages. i count the sips so e.g. if there's just one paragraph break within 5 pages, i get 4 sips of water at the end, or if there's none i get the full 5 (this varies so wildly between different books that sometimes i'm taking more like 10 sips in 5 pages and run out of water in the middle. i always use the same water bottle btw. i have a little beyblade coaster for it that's got the BBA boys and usually i position the bottle on top of takao&kai so i always have rei&max visible next to me i'm sorry)

generally i read 20 pages a day in one sitting. it used to be 30 but that felt a bit too much. then if there's something on TV in the evening and it's a commercial channel, i read during the breaks so i get at least 25 pages a day which is my actual goal but this way those other 5 are kinda extra, and sometimes i get even further if there's a lot of breaks, and then i feel like i got a lot of freebie pages and that's great

i've had phases when i basically had one physical book and one audiobook going simultaneously (from two different lists, naturally) but now i don't have any audiobook app subscription anymore. i just found that i wasn't really paying attention to any book i was listening to anymore idk. maybe i'll treat myself a subscription now tho since i'm getting some moneys and have a long daily commute to work. i feel like an audiobook with an unsatisfactory reader can really ruin the whole experience, but then sometimes the experience is just perfect and becomes iconic with my memory of the whole book. it's kind of a gamble

i wrote this down because it's A Great System and also because i started thinking "i'm so weird. like imagine if i explained my whole book reading habit to someone irl. they would think i'm insane" and maybe i am but hey i'm 2 books ahead of my schedule this year on goodreads

#my sister lent me a random book from her shelf some time ago.......i told her #i have a list. i have a system. i can't just read something random #she keeps asking me DID YOU READ IT YET #i tell her. i told you i have a System #I WILL NOT STEER AWAY FROM MY SYSTEM!!#that book's gonna be sitting waiting until i come to an unfortunate moment of having nothing from my lists available #that happened once during covid

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jovialyouthmusic · 4 years ago

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Past Times

Here’s my attempt at writing a Regency Period Drama. You can catch up on my Masterlist. My MC Elizabeth and her family are visiting her fiancé at his estate south of Edinburgh in Scotland. House guests are expected for the beginning of a series of balls and other amusements similar to the Social Season normally held in London. I’m not attempting to make this super accurate, I’m just fascinated by social history from this era and am having a little fun. My period AU, my rules!

Word Count 2983

A/N No smut, mostly fluff, but this is an adult blog and will get more explicit so No under 18s

11 Company

After luncheon, the family gathered in the lounge to await the arrival of the next guests. Elizabeth practiced a tune on the piano, and her sister sat embroidering a sampler. It had been decided that after Amelia had been introduced to Tom and Dorothea, she would enquire as to whether Lady Margaret wished her to read to her. Sir James read his newspaper, and Lady Charlotte and Morag played cards together. John stood by Elizabeth’s side turning the pages as she played. From there he had a view of the driveway, and would see any new arrivals.

‘I see a carriage approaching’ he announced as Elizabeth took a break in playing to sip a glass of raspberry cordial. ‘I shall go and greet them outside – will you come with me, Lizzy?’

‘Of course’ she replied, and stood, smoothing back her hair ‘Do I look presentable?’

‘Always, my dear’ he assured her, but Lizzy turned in question to her mother, who nodded in approval. Together the couple went out to greet the guests while the others made themselves ready in the lounge. They arrived with a few seconds to spare, and the carriage, drawn by two fine chestnut horses, drew to a halt in front of the manor. Tom alighted first, and helped Dorothea out before turning to John, who embraced him and slapped him heartily on the back.

‘Welcome, welcome Tom. We will have a merry time now you and Dorothea are here. You’ve met my fiancé, Elizabeth Dalgliesh, if you recall?’ Dorothea made a little curtsey and stepped forward to take Elizabeth’s hand.

‘I well recall how rude Tom was when we met at Duddingston. I am so pleased that his ill manners did not deter you from accepting John’s suit’ she said, smiling brightly.

‘Not at all Dorothea, my mind was made up already and nothing would put me off, I assure you’ Elizabeth replied, and Tom turned to her and took her hand, kissing the back of it.

‘My apologies for my former misbehaviour, Miss Elizabeth. I am pleased John has found such a determined and forgiving soul to spend his later years with’ John dealt a playful blow to Tom’s shoulder.

‘Less of the later years, you scoundrel. You are but two months my junior, Tom’ he asserted. ‘Come inside, you must meet Lizzy’s family. I fear mother is not available yet, but I believe she may join us for dinner later.’

‘I’m sorry to hear she’s indisposed’ Dorothea said ‘I hope you do not mind if I call you Lizzy, my dear’ she said, squeezing Elizabeth’s arm. ‘I am determined we should be firm friends, for we women should stick together when there are such rascals as my husband about’

‘That is most acceptable’ Elizabeth replied ‘Do you know many of John’s other guests?’

‘I do indeed, for I grew up not far away, and know all the gentry in John’s social circle. I am sure that between us we can name each guest and tell each other their temperament, for I am not often in Edinburgh and you are almost certain to know those who visit from the city’ The four young people went inside the house to introduce themselves to the Dalgleish family, then going up to their room to settle in and prepare for dinner. Amelia was loathe to spend time with Lady Margaret, realising that the arrival of guests closer to her sister’s age might afford more entertaining activities. However, Elizabeth instructed her to make sure and read something uplifting and entertaining so that the Duchess might feel more able to take part in the gathering.

Tom and Dorothea chose to go for a walk in the grounds before dinner, and John and Elizabeth joined them. The conversation was lively, and Elizabeth knew it would be easy to share confidences with her female companion. Her friend Rosanna would be coming for but a short visit for the betrothal ball to be held in a week’s time. She herself now had her own beau and was spending much time with his family, so had little to spare for Elizabeth. However, the two young women wrote to each other regularly and kept each other updated on their love lives and other matters.

After their walk, Elizabeth went to dress for dinner. Amelia came into her room.

‘How did your visit with Lady Margaret go, Melly?’ she asked

‘She seemed more cheerful after I had read to her’

‘What did you choose?’ Amelia smiled mischievously

‘Lady Margaret has a collection of gothic novels. She reads much of Anne Radcliffe’s work, so we have chosen a book called The Romance of the Forest. I fear we shall not be reading it in public, but shall choose poetry should there be anyone to eavesdrop’

‘That sounds most exciting’ Elizabeth laughed ‘Who would have though that Lady Margaret had such tastes?’ The sisters helped each other prepare for dinner before going to their parents’ room for approval, and the family descended together. Truly there was no pressing need to dress grandly in the company of Tom and Dorothea, but Lady Charlotte thought it good practice for the upcoming ball and other dinners.

Lady Margaret was present at the meal, and looked a good deal better, having some colour in her cheeks and being more animated in her conversation. After dinner the men withdrew to the study for Sir James to get better acquainted with Tom. The ladies went to the drawing room, the older ones playing cards while the younger women sat and conversed until the men joined them. Dorothea was prevailed upon to play the piano, but Elizabeth was concerned about John’s agility with his injured leg as she played a merry dance tune.

‘I understand if you are not able to take a turn’ she said in a low tone, as music filled the air. Her hand rested on his forearm, and he patted it comfortingly.

‘I can manage the slower dances if I have had some exercise during the day’ he assured her ‘Our walk in the garden helped to ease it somewhat’ Elizabeth pulled out her fan and deployed it as colour rose to her cheeks.

‘Would that we were in the arbour alone again’ she replied ‘Though I must confess having Tom and Dorothea here has enlivened things somewhat’ John smiled

‘Their company is very agreeable, and it is good to have guests closer to our own age’ He patted her arm and raised his voice to address the room. ‘If Dorothea would oblige me in playing something a little more sedate, I invite everyone to take the floor in order to practice for the ball’ he announced.

Dorothea smiled, and Sir James and Lady Charlotte rose to take part, the furniture already having been arranged to make space. Tom asked Lady Margaret if she wished to dance, but she declined and suggested that perhaps Amelia would partner him. She blushed furiously, but Elizabeth reminded her that before long she would be taking part in dances that might cause her to dance with someone with whom she had very little acquaintance, and it was good practice for her. Timidly she agreed, and Tom promised to make her feel at ease.

Eagerly Elizabeth took John’s hand and the partners arranged themselves. Dorothea started to play a tune for the Cotillion. The dance needed only a very few couples, and they managed very well before they went on to attempt a reel. There were a few hitches in the changeover of partners which caused a great deal of laughter, and after that Elizabeth declared that it was a good opportunity to practice with friends so that they would not be embarrassed in wider society.

Lady Margaret had watched the dancing with a smile, and declared that the hour was late and she would retire for the evening. Lord and Lady Dalgleish politely followed her example, insisting that Amelia would also. She pouted a little but dared not complain in front of Tom and Dorothea, so did as she was told.

That left the two young couples to themselves, though Morag declared that she would be sitting in the hall to await Elizabeth’s lone departure to her room.

‘Oh Lizzy, I well remember the restrictions of a chaperone’ said Dorothea, leaning toward her and fanning herself. ‘Mine was an absolute fright and never went out of earshot if she could help it’

‘Morag did allow us a very few freedoms’ Elizabeth confided ‘but now I have accepted John’s proposal she is more lenient’

‘We should play some parlour games’ Dorothea cried

‘With only the four of us, there are few games we could play, my dear’ Tom said ‘Perhaps when there are more young people like ourselves we may indulge, but I have an idea to put to our dear friends’

‘Do tell’ Elizabeth begged ‘I dearly love my parents, but their pastimes can be dull, and I must be careful not to do anything improper for Amelia’s sake’ John looked wary.

‘Beware, Lizzy – Tom’s ideas of fun can be rather – extreme’ he warned her. Tom looked aghast

‘I was but going to propose a card game’ he protested ‘One in which we play for points’

‘Father will not allow me to play for money’ Elizabeth sighed ‘He always was wary of wagers and gambling, and his fears were realised with my former fiancé’

‘I was not thinking of money’ Tom smiled archly ‘I propose we pay with kisses’ Elizabeth gasped and fanned herself furiously, and Dorothea giggled, putting her hand on her friend’s forearm.

‘We have played this before, my sweet friend. You need have no fear of impropriety, for the person receiving the kiss may choose where it is bestowed. You may have a kiss on the hand or the cheek or wherever you will, and the person doing the kissing can also choose if they are uncomfortable’ Elizabeth felt a little thrill at the thought of perhaps gaining a kiss from John despite them not being alone, but she wasn’t sure just how proper it was. John leaned close to her.

‘You need do nothing you feel uncomfortable with, Lizzy’ he assured her ‘We can play for matchsticks if you prefer.’ Elizabeth sat in contemplation.

‘I only fear that mother and father would not approve, but what they don’t know cannot harm them, and we are engaged, after all’ Dorothea clapped her hands

‘Does that mean you will play?’ she asked eagerly, and Elizabeth took a deep breath.

‘Yes, I surely will. Why sit and be dull and proper when we can have a little fun?’ She looked at John, his eyes darkening and glittering at her boldness. He rose to fetch a deck of cards, and the others arranged themselves around the card table.

‘I propose that we might be make our own rules’ Tom asserted, and Elizabeth looked dubious. ‘It’s simple – we each are dealt three cards, and count up the points, with aces high, and the highest scoring player will be the one to kiss the lowest. The loser may also choose to play a forfeit if they don’t wish to be kissed.’

‘But there is no skill in the game’ John protested.

‘Indeed, it is all chance, and is not love all a matter of chance?’ Tom laughed ‘We see a pretty face and fall in love, no matter what station or class that pretty face might possess’ Dorothea pouted.

‘I suppose that means you may try for the hand of a milkmaid if she be comely enough’

‘That is where society comes in’ John interjected ‘If one is poor, one is unlikely to marry rich’

‘We are fortunate to be comfortable in our way of life’ Elizabeth replied.

‘Indeed, and I believe in helping those in need’ John smiled ‘It is our duty to help those who cannot help themselves, if we can’

‘Enough of this virtue!’ Tom sighed ‘let us play’ He picked up the deck of cards and shuffled. Elizabeth felt her heart beat a little faster as he dealt. Her hand shook a little as she picked up hers , guarding them from John’s sight. She had a queen, a two and a five, which came to nineteen. She flicked her gaze to her fiancée, who smiled back at her reassuringly.

‘Count up’ Tom directed, leaning toward his wife to look at her hand. She batted at him and laid them down. She had but six points, and Tom had twenty, so Elizabeth sighed with relief. John had seventeen points and Tom rolled his eyes. Dorothea laughed.

‘You must kiss me then, husband’ She offered Tom her hand, which he grabbed and kissed, then proceeded to continue with small kisses up her arm to her shoulder, finishing up on her cheek. ‘Fie Tom, one kiss would have sufficed’ she protested.

‘One kiss is never enough with you, my dearest’ he murmured, gazing deep into her eyes. Elizabeth swallowed, and Tom gathered up the cards, handing them to his wife to deal out. This time John had the most points and Tom the least.

‘My dear Tom, I have no intention of kissing you’ he asserted ‘So I charge you to tell my intended the circumstances of our meeting’ Tom winced

‘That is a sad tale indeed’ he said glumly.

‘Only for you’ John laughed. ‘It is your forfeit, and you must do it’ Tom sighed heavily.

‘Very well. Miss Dalgleish, the day I met John he most likely saved my life, for I missed my step on the gangplank to the ship we were to serve on together, and he dove in to fish me out of the water’

‘That water was not the cleanest either’ John added ‘I swear I came out smelling worse than when I went in, and had to pay extra to have my uniform cleaned’ He took the cards to deal them out. Dorothea had the highest score and John the lowest. Tom frowned slightly as she rose from her seat and walked around the table. She leaned down to John and lightly kissed his forehead.

‘See, it is not so difficult’ she smiled ‘Elizabeth, should you lose to my Tom, this is all you must do’

‘This game will not last very long, I fear’ Tom sighed ‘It would also be better played with more participants.’

‘It grows late, and Lizzie’s chaperone is waiting’ John pointed out. ‘We don’t want to scandalise Sir James, we should retire soon.’ Tom nodded sagely, and the cards were handed to Dorothea. She dealt while Tom refilled everyone’s glasses with wine. Elizabeth felt a little light headed as she sipped, and turned her cards over, squinting a little to read them. She felt a flutter as she realised that hers was the highest count, but was dismayed to discover that Dorothea had the lowest. Tom smiled at the two women and his eyes darkened.

‘Surely you will kiss, my dears?’ he said hoarsely, shifting in his seat a little. Elizabeth felt a little dizzy as she rose to walk toward her new friend.

‘Do not fear’ Dorothea said softly ‘You may but kiss my hand’ Elizabeth blushed and leaned over to peck her on the cheek. A scent of jasmine and lavender greeted her, and her skin was soft. Tom’s eyes glittered as John shifted uneasily.

‘You are bold Miss Dalgleish’ Tom said throatily, and she went back to her seat swiftly, picking up the cards to deal again. She calculated that she had a low count, and scanned the faces of the others as they work out their hand. She turned her card over to show them.

‘I have but five’ she admitted ‘Who of you shall be the one to kiss me?’ All eyes were on John as he revealed his cards one by one, being two kings and an ace. Tom threw his hand down with a heavy sigh, and Dorothea smiled sweetly.

‘You and your sweetheart may have at it’ she asserted, revealing a hand of but two sevens and a two, and Tom with a king, a two and a three. John smiled and beckoned her, pushing his chair away from the table and patting his lap.

‘We should do this properly, my dearest, for I think after this we should retire’ She rose and approached, for him to take her hand and gently pull her onto his lap. After a pang of self consciousness, she threw her arms around his neck, surrendering to his warm solidity and inhaling the scents of leather and musk that rose to her. She pressed her forehead to his.

‘I can barely wait to be wed’ she murmured ‘To have the freedom to touch and be touched is my most fervent wish’

‘It is my wish too’ he assured her, gazing into her eyes before their lips met. Everything around her – the room and its occupants – vanished from her senses and she felt only his firm body and his lips, a little scratch from the stubble on his lip and chin that she had noticed developed over the day.

She snapped back to her senses as she heard a tap on the door.

‘Miss Elizabeth, the hour is late’ her chaperone was heard to say. The lovers broke their kiss and again rested their foreheads together.

‘Until tomorrow my dear Lizzie’ John murmured ‘I may perhaps visit you in your dreams’ Elizabeth rose, looking over at her new friends. Dorothea smiled sympathetically, but Tom looked away, somewhat embarrassed.

‘Until tomorrow, my dear John’ she replied, and curtseyed to the other two. ‘I enjoyed our game. It is wonderful to have you here and I hope we will have more fun in the weeks to come’ She went to the door and turned to blow a kiss before she left to go to her lonely bedchamber.

@sirbeepsalot @camillemontespan @dcbbw @rainbowsinthestorm @katedrakeohd @trappedinfandoms @kingliam2019 @nomadics-stuff @texaskitten30 @princess-geek @texaskitten30 @fluffyfirewhiskey

#past times #period drama #regency drama #regency scotland #elizabeth and john #Elizabeth Dalgliesh #Captain John Lykel

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astralishq · 4 years ago

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– ♡ event 002. FOR FAME AND GLORY ( pt. 1 )

The Annual Highwinds Tournament is now open!

Test your mettle against the strongest, the cleverest and the swiftest Fae

Prove your worth to the High Courts of Astralis, and become a legend

➤ THE BASICS

The Autumn Court, in an effort to affirm their status as a powerful Court after an early blow against their people, have decided to continue with one of their oldest and most cherished traditions. The Highwinds Tournament is a yearly event hosted on their lands, where in true Autumn spirit, Fae and humans alike congregate to decide who among them is the most illustrious through a series of competitions and events. Overseen by the High Lord of Autumn, the highly-anticipated games of skill, strength, and wit are seen as the height of sportsmanship within Astralis.

Many have attributed these friendly matches to the lasting peace between the Courts, and Autumn takes great pride in its role as a mediator. However, this year’s tournament is rife with tension, and there are more than a few rumours going about that this competition will devolve into something worse. However, the lure of lucrative awards and fresh gossip have nobility and commoners alike flocking to the eastern Court, for the Highwinds Tournament is a most welcome distraction from more troubling developments elsewhere.

➤ ACTIVITIES AND AMENITIES OFFERED

Some of the amenities offered at this week-long event will include. . .

- An all-participants-welcome dueling tournament, where ambitious warriors and mages seek to put their skills to the test against Astralis’ finest. The tournament will go on the full duration of the festival, offering many opportunities for the lowborn to catch the eye of a prospective sponsor, and for nobles to establish their reputations among their kin. The prize for the winner is a substantial one- thousands of gold coins and an enchanted artifact of repute, to be presented at the conclusion of the finals.

- Competitions of all manner will be available at this event, including contests of archery, horseback-riding, hunting, magecraft, and aerial races through the steep valleys around the Highwinds Glen. Autumn officials, with representative oversight from the ally courts of Spring and Winter, will see to the fairness of these events.

- The main event of the Highwinds Tournament is known as the Trials of Oberon, allegedly named after the first High Laird of Autumn who was known as an individual of exceptional talent. This is a contest that is not for the faint of heart, for it will have participants test their might against ferocious beasts, head-scratching puzzles, and the final task: an enchanted maze where life-threatening danger lurks around every corner. Each Court has volunteered a challenge for this maze courtesy of their kingdom to test the character, wit, and strength of the champions. To win the Trials is to be considered one of the highest honors to be found in Astralis.

- Guest lodgings have all been booked out for the week, in homely inns and in sprawling estates all over Autumn. Expect loud, crowded, but hospitable lodgings and close encounters with strangers from across the Courts. Those with more amourous inclinations, however, will not find a lack of private alcoves and cabins for their leisurely use.

- The Highwinds Glen, an already vibrant and excitable city, has pulled out all the stops for this renowned tournament. City-wide feasting and full taverns are expected, and the streets will find themselves home to some of the finest buskers available. Guest may also expect to find more than a few ‘unofficial’ gambling operations throughout these taverns, particularly in the form of unsanctioned fights between commoners looking to make quick coin.

➤ CELEBRATING OUR CHAMPIONS

This is Astralis HQ’s first ever “two leg” event. At the end of the festivities, there will be a grand ball to celebrate the victors from each Court and the sportsmanship of Astralis uniting for the Highwinds Tournament. Participants from the Trials of Oberon will be given special favor from the High Rulers for surpassing and engaging in their intricate challenges. This portion of the weeklong celebration will be announced by the admins as we gear up for part two of the event. Part one is strictly for the festivities leading up to the grand ball.

➤ THE HUMAN RESISTANCE’S ROLE

The human resistance has made quite a name for themselves over the past few months, and any information leading to their capture, especially in the Autumn Court, offers a lucrative award to the informant. However, the resistance has no intention of remaining idle during such a prominent tournament. A few agents have entered as participants in the gladitorial battles, determined to prove their mettle in a public setting. However, this is mostly a ruse, for the real threat lurks among the nameless, faceless servants supporting the event.

- ̗̀ FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

➤ CAN I CONTINUE MY NON-EVENT THREADS DURING THE EVENT?

This event is mandatory to participate in--either as a participant, a spectator, or as a representative of their Court. While the event is going on, we do ask that you only start fresh, event-related threads and make them a priority. Inclusivity is also a huge factor in propelling an event forward, so be sure you’re plotting with a wide range of muns for this event!

➤ HOW LONG WILL THE EVENT LAST FOR?

As of right now, the event is set to start on Wednesday, February 3rd, at 9 AM EST and last for approximately three weeks. The first part of the event will end on Wednesday, February 24th at 11:59 PM EST. After this, the group will go on a 4 day activity break to prepare for the second leg of this epic event, during which time the group’s next plot drop will be put into effect. The second half of the event will last from March 1st to March 15th. More information regarding start times for the second leg of this event will be posted in the coming weeks.

➤ WHAT SHOULD I BE TAGGING POSTS WITH?

As of right now, you should not be posting anything (outfits or otherwise) until the start of the event. When you begin posting outfits, starters, threads, etc., we ask that you use ahqevent2 and NOT ahqevent. Feel free to tag the @ahqstart sideblog for all open starters you post for the event, bearing in mind that the same starter rules will apply once there’s more than 4-5 open event-related starters in the tag.

➤ WHAT WILL THE TRIALS OF OBERON BE FROM SPECIFIC COURTS?

As referenced above, the Trials of Oberon will have a final, maze-style task that has been curated by the different High Rulers of various Courts throughout Astralis. For the Courts that currently have taken High Rulers, said High Rulers may choose to post their portion of the challenging task as a musing on their character blog if they so wish! If you have any questions, comments, or concerns regarding this, leaders, please feel free to reach out to your admin team! It is not a requirement component for our High Rulers, but is definitely encouraged to help you engage with the tasks!

#ahqevent #fantasy rp #supernatural rp #group rp #mumu rp #ahqevent02 #ahqevent2

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bixbythemartian · 4 years ago

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If you’ve been moderately following my semi lucid blogging of my sewing adventures of the last week or so, you will know that I have a big long list of projects to work on right now. I’ve been making masks, I have a messenger bag to make for 7 year old, and those are just the most urgent things, there’s like a dozen things that I need to/want to make.

I may not have mentioned that this newer surge of this type of creativity is not new. I’ve been sewing most of my life, it’s just recently that I’ve been able to set up a more permanent space for my sewing stuff. I don’t really have a sewing or crafting room but I have a cutting table in the kitchen area and I have a sewing table in my room and having access to both has made it so much more natural for me to be working on sewing things in general, because apparently if I have a setup that lets me sew then I just sort of do that when I’m not doing other stuff (and sometimes when I should be). Before I would do sewing projects and then put all the stuff away because we needed the space for other things, but we don’t need this space for other things so I can just claim it for me and apparently it means that I sew like at a pretty steady clip. Even if I’m not using those surfaces, just knowing I have access to a cutting table and a sewing machine makes me more likely to do sewing projects even if they won’t involve either for some reason.

at any rate, I have several projects that are somewhat urgent and should be working on, but I was talking to a friend about an ancient project that I still had around and had gone... poorly, and -

okay the other thing is that I’ve been watching all of these historical sewing/costume youtubers in my free time. and I’ve been telling myself that like oh I’m not going to get into historical costuming and oh I’m not going to hand sew anything, that takes so much time and I have this nice sewing machine I don’t see the point. I cannot remember if I mentioned this in some of my previous sewing posts, but it’s worth stating here because if you understand people in general or know me at all you will probably get to the punchline well before I do.

the project that I was reminded of is well over 7 years old in inception. Before I moved to California in 2013 at some point I picked up a long green kind of sheath dress made out of a heavy stretch spandex polyester knit kind of fabric. I have no idea what this fabric is technically called, I’m sure it has a specific name, it’s especially prevalent in plus size clothing for some reason. It has a really lovely stretch and drapes fairly nicely and has a nice weighty sensation when you wear it breathes about as well as plastic ever breathes, which is to say that it does not

anyway, it’s a deep emerald green that’s a very lovely color but it was absolutely shapeless and I do not like clothing items which are shapeless, but it was cheap and mostly fit me and was a beautiful color, so I picked it up resolving to do something with it.

I believe when I was living in California is when I attempted to split the seams up the side so it’s like a maxi length side split tank top thing, with the vague idea of making it part of some kind of fairy/fantasy costume piece. Oh I also removed the sleeves because just in general I don’t like wearing short sleeves. I either want long sleeves or tank tops and I don’t really have much of a middle ground.

(If you remember my long list of things you may recall that one of my projects is to remove sleeves and collars from most of my t-shirts, so this is fairly on brand for me)

anyway, sometime in 2013 or 2014 (I think? I’m fairly certain it was relatively early in my brief stay in California) I attempted to finish the seams for the split and hem the arm holes, but I did it on a machine with white thread.

Using a thick stretchy material in a sewing machine is a hell of a gamble, it didn’t turn out well, and because I used white thread and not, like, black or a matching dark green it was really obvious that I had made at least two massive errors in judgement. it’s really kind of embarrassing and I just put it in the back of my closet where it has lingered for years when I could have just been wearing it around because it’s a really fun thing to wear if I can get over the embarrassment of how abysmal the sewing is.

so now, instead of all the things I should be doing, I am laboriously picking out all of the stitches (difficult due to the stretch material, I’ve probably put 10+ hours in and I’m still not done) and then I’m going to hand stitch the hem because I think there’s a technique I can use that will perhaps be messy as I learn it (on a stretch material, no less) but will at least be less obvious from the outside.

the humor of me going ‘I’m not going to get into historical dress and not going to hand sew things’ is probably not lost on you by this point, but I do want to further clarify that I have in fact made historical clothing before.

yeah, I drafted patterns from diagrams I found on the internet (probably more of an SCA thing than a historical thing) and made an apron skirt (which I still have) and a shift (which was probably much more historically accurate, sans the machine sewing, based on what I remember of the pattern drafting, though since then the material was sacrificed to some other project that i don’t recall)

it is absolutely an interest of mine, and has been, and I have dipped my toe in this before, and for some reason I have been pretending that it isn’t and won’t be and never will be because????????????

I honestly don’t know but clearly I have been lying to myself about multiple aspects of this

anyway I think I am almost done with the first part of this project (picking out the seams) and can start the sewing, which I believe will go much faster even if I don’t know what I’m doing (I kinda think I do, which is not the same thing) and trying to combat being mildly embarrassed about fooling myself into somehow genuinely believing that I was just watching the videos because they were relaxing and not like squarely within several spheres of interest of mine that I was starting to get back into.

Perhaps, sometimes, you need to trick yourself into remembering the things you’re interested in, I guess.

I mostly typed this up to give my hands a bit of a break from the seam picking because even with my fancy ergonomic seam ripper, spending hours and hours at this has definitely caused some aching and cramping.

#adventures in sewing and self-deception

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malethirsty · 5 years ago

Text

Californication: Reloaded [Hank Moody]

Hell-In-One

Summary: Following your one night stand with Hank, you attempt to keep your distance to minimize the impact. However a run in with the ex could cause the biggest of impacts

Warnings: M/M smut (21+), Bareback (Wrap Before You Tap!), Daddy Kink

You & Hank sat at the same table at Reublique, trying to work out the predicament you had gotten yourselves into. “At least there aren’t any press around chasing authors tonight” Hank said lightly, trying to attain a positive mood, it didn’t work. “That was a massive gamble!” You said back “I thought you were rich and could bribe the CCTV off, but the press? Hank you know they don’t care, they’d publish pics with ‘Hank Moody Seen Getting Cozy With Daughter’s Best Friend: Scandal, Shock, Intrigue!’” “I know that! If it got out, my divorce settlement would be on the rocks!” “Then why did you arrange it?” You asked “Because I don’t do things lightly in life, you need to live a little.”

You both steadied your breathing. “So what do we do now?” Hank asked “I guess we wait for a bit, step back & re evaluate our situation, see if we want to move forward.” He swallowed at your statement. “I guess so” he begrudgingly said, you partly wanted to ask ‘Well what do you think?!’ But didn’t want to run after him, so you kept it down. “So what is with your Writer’s Block that you & Becca were talking about?” Hank turned the coversation to his struggles and the matter was dropped. Two hours in and you’d only gotten a bit more forwards with his writing, however you planned to have him go from there as you decided to give him space, so he and you could relax.

A week into this and things instead of getting better, had only gotten worse. You became withdrawn from everything, not even your own songwriting could be fixed, it was as if Hank’s writers block was contagious. Hank, it had been a while since you shared as much as a conversation, yet you ached for him so much. “What’s up Y/N?” Becca’s voice asked from nowhere “The damn ceiling” you responded sardonically “Woah! What’s with the tone?” Becca responded, a bit taken aback. ‘How can I broach this with her?’ You thought ‘“I fucked your dad who could have gotten his sexcapade with me caught by the paps, his divorce pushed back, his property and cash swindled & my friendship with you broken.” How the hell could you say that?’ Luckily you didn’t have to “Did your hookup not go so well.” She inquired “Something along those lines yes.” “What happened? He had B.O.? Bad breath? No respect for you?” “What? No!” “Then what?” Becca said, crossing her arms, you knew you had to phrase this properly so to spare Hank “He’s famous Becca” her eyes widened “And?! Can you not handle someone having all the attention?” You looked scandalised “No!” “Well then, what’s so bad about being famous?” This coversation had you trapped in a whirl, but inthe face of it, you breathed in heavily & continued. “He has a reputation, a reputation he put on the line by buying out Republique. If someone had caught us, everything would have exploded.” “And that’s why you have been distant.” “Yeah, we talked and wanted time to work things out, but that’s the general gist.”

Becca thought about it for a moment and then responded “I think you’ve overreacted a bit” “ME!” You spluttered “You’re meant to be my friend, take my side!” “I am, and I would be amiss if I were to let you let a good man like that slip through your grasp. If he was prepared to do that, he must really give a shit about you. I know you want to look out for people, but I think it’s going to be a detriment in this case. You should call him and explain everything.” “Alright, I’ll do it later.” You said, desperate to avoid her staying with you & finding out the ‘Good Man’ was her dad. “Good. I’m heading out to practice with my band, if I get back & find you haven’t, I’ll call him myself.” Not wanting Becca to set you & her father up, you gulped & pleased her message sunk in, she left.

The only issue was what to say to Hank ‘I’ve changed my mind about it, please dick me down in public’ did not seem the right way to go about it. You were wondering what you could possibly say, when your phone made noise, a notification. Opening it, you grinned at seeing it from Hank, his blog had been updated for the first time in ages, he was getting over or already over his writers block. So you read from his latest post

Hank Hates You All (Blog #1):

A few things I’ve learnt in my travels, through this thing we call life are

#1: A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness. #2: While I may not go down in history, I’ll definitely go down on your friend. #3: If you are famous and are going to fuck someone, make sure cameras aren’t going to follow you.

The last point begs the question: Why is society so quick to demonise sex?

As you read through his points, you grinned. It seemed like he had both understood what you were trying to say and was reaching out with his own words. You had bolstered confidence by the end and knew what you had to do. You raced downstairs “Hank, I need to talk to you!” Before getting an eyefull of a naked woman downstairs who was coated with black diamonds all over her breasts “Oh My God!” You yelled, covering your eyes “What? Who the hell are you!” The women equally shouted back “Y/N, Becca asked me over!” “Oh shit, I remembered her telling me, I thought you went out with her for music stuff.” “I passed, wasn’t up for it. With all these questions, can I ask why there are black diamonds on your tits?” “A Hell-In-One, the beauty parlour vajazzles diamonds onto peoples beeasts, there is a option if getting black diamonds all applied at once, all black, like a spooky theme.” “Well who are you trying to impress? Tim Burton?” You exasperatedly said “No, I asked my new boyfriend here in advance so I could fuck in my ex husband’s house, like a free living thing.” Husband? Oh no, so this must be “Karen? Y/N?” came Hank’s voice. Your vision started to blur and darken.

You woke sometime later, a familiar face above you “Hey there babe.” Came Hank’s voice “You gave us a scare then.” You groaned “That was your ex wife?” “Yeah.” Hank responded “She’s seeing a man called Bill, she’s all set to move on.” “That’s twice I’ve seen a Moody nude. If I see Becca naked, I’m gonna become Amish.” Hank laughed “I might go with you. We’d be away from the press then“ Ouch, that was a sting “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about before I ran into the ‘Hell-In-One’” you shuddered “It’s good I know you’re into men, cause otherwise that shudder could be taken for something worse.” “Well, I read your blog Hank. And I got advice about what to do. And I think that by trying to protect us from ruining things, I might actually be causing problems, cause I’ve been miserable since I wanted space. I’m not sure what it’s like for you, but I would like to give things another chance.”

Hank leant over, kissing you. “You have no fucking idea how happy I am now. I’ve tried to write, drink & watch my Cinemax porn, but I always get brought back to you.” “I shudder to ask but what was it about?” “This time it was a scientology themed one called Pussy Impossible? Talking about how difficult it could be to get laid in that place.” “Was it from David Miscaviage’s POV cause after he offed his wife, no reasonable women would go near him.” “I think you’re giving the women of that place credit they don’t have.” You both grinned and laughed at this point, the good emotions finally came flooding back, like when the power comes back on after a blackout.

“Well I guess I should let you sleep.” Hank began “No!” You said, startling him “It’s that, I really have missed you Hank, like really have, Can you fuck me?” Hank grinned at you “Well Karen’s gone & Becca is still out practicing, we have the house to ourselves and we can make all the damn noise we want.” You began to rid yourself of all the clothing you had on, Hank yanking his pants down to his feet, his cock flopping out “I usually go commando.” He explained “With a sex presence like yours, you shouldn’t even wear clothes.” You flirted. His cock hardened, it’s pink head becoming visible “God, suck daddy’s cock.” Hank groaned, you obeying almost immediately.

You spent a while sucking Hank off, making the man moan and groan as you paid attention to his head & rolled his balls, making him moan in appreciation “Keep that up & I’ll cum.” An idea forming in your head, you kept going, Hank attempted to pull you off but you stayed “Y/N, don’t you want me to fuck you? I’ll blow in a moment and it takes a-ah- a while for me to get hard again.” You nodded on his cock, humming a bit which caused Hank to throw his head back and let multiple curses and your name flow from his mouth as he shot his load down your throat. You pulled away “Taste’s like cherries daddy, must be all the alcohol.” Hank’s legs shook causing him to fall on the bed “Fuck, that’s the best head I’ve had in years!” You grinned making sure he was paying attention, you slid your finger down your face as if to clean it off which made Hank grin. “What a fucking slut you are for daddy.” He grinned, kissing you again. After a while, Hank’s cock got hard again, he sat up & pulled his shirt partly over his neck, tasing your hole “Could you picture the press snapping pics at what we’re doing right now?” “Oh fuck me already.” You groaned “You got a gag order on the writers?” “I’ll be getting a gag order on you for the rest of the week if you don’t start fucking me!” You snapped back “You are one kinky bitch” Hank groaned in lust as he finally began to fuck you. His pace was sharp & reverberated around the room, you moaning out as Hank made love to you.

“Yeah that’s it! Move back onto Daddy’s cock & take it all balls deep!” Hank moaned & you obeyed him wholeheartedly. You arched your back which allowed him to fuck more, making him groan at all the tightness he was slamming into. “Fuck, I know I’ve said it before, but FUCKING HELL you are tighter than Karen, holy shit! How are you still so tight?” “I haven’t fucked anyone since you, so I’ve had time to heal I guess.” “Well, I’ll be taking that tightness away soon, cause I’m not going that long between fucking you again!” You enthusiastically threw yourself back, causing you both to groan “Oh yeah! You’re daddy’s good boy! Fuck yourself on my cock!” The filth spewing from Hank’s mouth was never ending & you were gonna keep it that way.

Somehow stretching your legs wider, Hank got deeper, his moans becoming breathier, you could tell he wouldn’t last much longer. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna come!” You nodded, breathless to say anything else. Hank wanked your cock, making you moan, eyes rolling back into your head as you shot your load “So fuckin’ good babe! You’re clenching around me so tight, I’m gonna fucking blow, OH YES!” Hank roared out as he shot his load deep into your ass. Moaning out, Hank fell right onto you, you were strong enough to toss him aside back first “Don’t crush me! Death by daddy is not how I wanna go down.” Hank laughed “Well I now know you don’t wanna go down, but I like it.” You rolled your eyes “Well I know you like-Oh!” You groaned out as Hank began to eat you out, tasting his shot load. “It really does taste like cherry, except muskier.” You laughed as Hank fell back first, needing some time before a much needed next round. You both happily groaned out a “Fuck!”

#Hank Moody #Male Reader #Hank Moody x Male Reader #Hank Moody Smut #Californication #Californication Smut #Californication: Reloaded

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lanaisnotwool · 4 years ago

Video

youtube

411 Income Avalanche

http://moneyripples.com/2020/08/04/411-income-avalanche/

Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/06/25/411--start-an-income-avalanche

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Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. And we welcome you guys for a wonderful show. A show that’s for you and about you. Those are that work so hard for your money, and you’re ready for your money to start working harder for you. Now! You want that freedom. You want that cash flow. You want the prosperity. Today. Not 30 or 40 years from now, if you’re lucky, but right now, right? So you can have that freedom to be able to do what you love with those you love. And whenever you want to do it. And you get to work because you want to. Not because you have to. You get to work by choice. You get to have an empowered life. And that’s exactly what we’re here to do. But on top of that, it’s not just for your own prosperity, but this is something for you to create a ripple effect in the lives of others. To be a blessing in the lives of those around you, whether it’s your family, your community, or across the world.

And guys that is the ripple effect. I am here to create in your lives. And thank you so much for your part of it. Thank you for downloading and bingeing and doing everything you guys do. Like I love watching us grow all the time. And that is in large part to you guys. And thank you so much for living the example, not just being here is the word, but doers as well.

Here’s a quick reminder. Check out our website. MoneyRipples.com. You know, not only do we have that great ebook Beyond Rice & Beans, Seven Secrets to Free Up Cash Today. That’s great for you to be able to access and find money quickly. But there’s great blogs on there now too. Including videos of this very show that you can check out. So make sure you go and check that out today.

So today, guys, I want to talk about, you know, really a concept that I’ve referred to on the show, and I’m just kinda throwing out a little sound bites of it. But I want to go in depth of what it really looks like because there’s two really big prevailing mentalities when it comes to money. There’s the accumulation mentality, which is almost what everybody teaches you to do, right? It’s all about net worth is about building up your savings and compounding over time, you know, using that stuff. And I’ll tell you that it doesn’t work. I mean, most of the conventional things are out there. Don’t work. I mean, for example, I mean the stuff I teach is not conventional, right? This is not mainstream. Hey, I’ve been telling you guys to take out key locks. I just had a client thanking me because we actually talked in the beginning of March saying, Hey, you want to get access to that home equity now. And guess what COVID hit, you know, of course it was already hitting by that point. But I said, do you want to get access now? He did it. Then a month, he got the cash out and then he was laid off.

And of course people would think, why would you go into debt and get laid off? Right now, you know what he’s doing? He’s emotionally saying, wow! I never thought it feels so good to know, how did we get 120 grand out of my house that now sitting in savings. And even though he’s got some unemployment coming in, that’s great and they’re doing fine. He’s like, I got this extra cushion of money that is there for whatever, you know, in case something was wrong or even better yet I can invest it and make it work for me. And guys, that’s a very different mentality. And how many are telling you, “Go into debt”, which I’m not telling you, by the way, I’m just saying, Hey, the equity, the assets you have available, let’s leverage it. Right? And so when I talk about money, it’s about acceleration, not accumulation.

It’s not about building up money and saving over time and going the long, hard path that really may or may not get you there because whatever money you do have, you gambled in the stock market, right? I’m not telling you to do that. I’m saying go for things that have real assets, especially create cash flow. I’m about acceleration. Acceleration of using cash flow to keep building. And the constant we talk about today is that Income Avalanche, right? You got the debt snowball method that you hear people talk about. Well, this is the opposite, but it’s income instead. It’s like, how do we get cash flow to keep building upon itself to keep growing exponentially getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. That is what I’m going to talk about today. And so I want to illustrate that. So first let me explain the concept.

What is this that you’ve got a certain amount of assets or money, whatever it might be. Now, some of you guys are in the beginning stages. Some of you might just be at a point where you say, Hey, I need to start building up an emergency fund. Great! Do that. You know, I would recommend going back to the wealth building step-by-step podcast, I did just recently. A great step-by-step showing the order of how you should be doing these things, right? So maybe you’re needing to start out, but I know many of you that are listening are already at the point you have savings. You actually have more savings. The fact you say, Hey, I’ve got money coming in. What do I do with it? Right? What’s next? And so I actually want to bring up an example of someone I just talked to recently, one of you, in fact that had reached out, I was actually connected to them through a turnkey real estate investment company that said, Hey, you’re looking for a financial advisor?

We know a guy who’s not a financial advisor, but will help you do the things that you had hoped a financial advisor would do. And so they referred him to me and in very cool situation. And cause it’s fresh in my mind. I want to use this an example of how this looks, because ultimately what it is, it’s like this exponential curve, your cash flow, your income, your passive income, you know, starts at year one, but it doesn’t just take time to get there. It does take time, but it grows steadily more and more each year until you eventually hit your cash flow goal. And this could feel daunting for some of you because some of you might say, okay, Chris, my goal is 10,000 a month. That’s my cash flow goal. That’s the passive income I want to create. So I work because I want to, not because I have to. But I’m only at 2000 a month or maybe with what I have right now, I could create 2000 a month. We go from 2000 to 10,000. That’s a big gap. How do I get there?

Good news. This is where this comes in.

It does require discipline like anything, right? But I want to show you what my mindset’s like and how I see it differently. Because when they came to me, they said, Hey, we’re starting to get some money in here. You know, more savings than we’ve had for a little while. And what do we do with it? What do we do to make it work for us? And they’ve went to every other financial advisor says, well, you could put it in these mutual funds or maybe put into an annuity. You know, that kind of basic stuff that they’ve told them, right? I said, you know what, what’s your goal? And they said, our goal is 2000 a month. I said, Hey, watch this.

So here’s their situation. They have about 50,000 savings. They are able to cash out somebody from his 401k. He was actually laid off from work or furloughed, right? So as a result, he might get hired back anyways. But as a result because the cares act, you can access up to a hundred thousand dollars of your IRAs or 401k’s without the 10% early withdrawal penalty. So even if you’re not 59 and a half, and these guys are in their late thirties, if you’re not 59 and a half, you can access up to a hundred thousand dollars, without that 10% penalty. You will pay taxes, but at least you’ll avoid the penalty. So as long as you’ve been affected by COVID in some way, shape or form, you know, even if it means you didn’t get the bonuses you usually get, or your income changes or your hours change or something changed, or you got furloughed, that’s the easy one, all those things, right?

So anyways, I say, all right, you got about 50,000 savings. You got some money from your 401k. That’s what you have right now. 401ks that are currently still in them. They’ve got about 284,000. So over 280,000, they just started a Roth IRA with 9,000 in that. They have a rental property. They actually bought a ramp which is probably through this company that referred me. A company I’ve actually had on the show before. In fact, a couple times. That’s cash flowing them 350 a month. By the way, mazing returns, when you consider their out of pocket costs with the down payment and everything, was only 16 grand, but they’re making 350 a month. Guys. That’s like a 26% return. I told them, I was like, Hey, that was a golden property you bought last year. Don’t expect that every time. I just tell people, if you can make 12% return on your money, cash on cash return.

That’s good. So anyways, We make it 350 a month on the property. Cool thing is they don’t have any real extra cash flow because they’re not making as much money, but they’re not in the hole either. They’re actually doing okay. They do get an extra gift of 15,000 a year that they get from family too. That comes from a grandparent’s estate. So that’s kind of cool. Cause that adds to building this income snowball, this income avalanche, right? Now they have credit cards. You see that one here, They’ve got like 8,500 credit cards. They’ve got some student loan, they got an SBA loan. They have a mortgage. I told them all their loans are great, but I would pay off. And this is number one. So I talk about strategy. Again, their cash flow goal is 2000 a month, right? So what the resource they have, they’re thinking, okay, we know it will be awhile before we hit 2000 a month.

You know, we know we’ll be several years down the road. So maybe we’ll just invest, you know, pay the 401k back, keep the money in the 401k, let it grow. You know, we’ll build a Roth and he put a property inside of it. That was kind of their, their thinking, right? And that their cool thing is they’re looking at these creative strategies. I was like, wow, they’re really thinking outside of the box more. And then I saw their situation. I said, you know, but I wouldn’t do any of that. And I said, Hey, this is not a recommendation, by the way, for you guys, anybody looking at this, just cause you see this here, this does not mean this is the recommendation. I said, here’s what I see. I said, first and foremost, with the cash savings you have, I would pay off that credit card because the 8,500 it’s payment is $218 a month.

And they said it was only 10% interest. It’s not a bad interest rate for a credit card. But I said that 218 a month, like if my goal is to make 1% a month on my money. So if I have 8,500 bucks, I would want it to pay me. If I invested, I want to pay me at least $85 a month. So you just drop off the two zeros. If you have 20,000, you want it to pay you 200 a month. If it’s 30,000, pay you 300 a month. If it’s 55,000 pay 550 a month. That’s my goal, right? When I look at investments. But when I look at debt, if I know that I can beat that well, beat that number, you know, 8,500, you’re hoping to maybe make 85 to a hundred bucks in an investment. But if they pay off the credit card, it’s guaranteed 218 bucks a month.

I say, guys, that’s a no brainer. You would want to pay off the credit card. But the rest of the loans, I would leave it alone. They’re actually not that bad. Their monthly payments are pretty low compared to the balance. If you remember my cash flow index formula, I talked about, right? Very good cash flow indexes. They’re high. And so we don’t want to pay those off necessarily. So they just keep paying those like normal. Here’s the other thing and I get, this was not a recommendation, but I said, here’s an option you have, you already started to do it. What if you cashed out your Roth, you know, the 9,000 and then they just barely put it in. So it wouldn’t be a big deal. And if they gained some money, you know, maybe they keep the gains and they have Roth and leave it there. But they could access the 9,000 for the Roth and the 401k.

They’ve got about 284,000. So that’s about $290,000 that they can potentially use. Now in their minds because they’ve been trained like everybody else, don’t touch that money. Right? Don’t touch that 401k. Don’t touch anything. And I said, well, you’re in a position you could potentially touch, you know, access that money. And so I’d say with both of you guys and they have both, you know, either they got furloughed or they quit their jobs recently. So these were 401ks that were accessible. If you work for a company, you may not be able to access your 401k, maybe through a loan, but not often through cashing out. That’s pretty rare you can do. What’s called an inservice distribution. So in their case, they’re both old 401ks, 401ks with old companies that they worked for. So I said, Hey, you could cash that out. Now they have up to $150,000.

They could do total between the two of them. Cause there’s 200,000, you can access without the 10% penalty. So I said, if you do do that, that’s 150,000 and maybe they pull out a little bit more, you know, maybe they pull out the full amount. Maybe they don’t pull out the full amount, right? Maybe they only pull out 240,000 more. You know, maybe they leave 50,000 and whatever, it doesn’t matter. I just told him like, Hey, if you bought 290,000, here’s the thing. You will have about $70,000 in taxes based on their tax brackets and everything. Now companies will likely withhold probably almost 60,000 of it. But I said, Hey, either way, you’re gonna need about 70,000 withholding from tax. That leaves only about 220,000 right? Now, 20,000. That needs to be set aside for emergency fund. Now they already have 50,000 savings. They already got that there.

So of the total, they got, you know, 220,000 plus the 50,000, right? That’s 270, make sure 20,000 is left in their emergency fund. You know, that sort of thing. Now the rest I said, you know, only invest 230. And by the way, this is some stuff. This is easily going deeper than even I told them, I think, at this specific, but I want to illustrate this for you guys as an example. So we took 230,000 of that money. Now, granted, I know actually doing the math currently. We could probably do a little bit more, but Hey, may could be able to do 250,000, but I think 230 is a good conservative number because it leaves a good amount of money in their pockets about 40,000 bucks in their pockets there. And who knows? I said, even with emergency savings, maybe some of that goes into infinite banking policy, right?

Maybe we diversify their savings. At least it’s earning better than point, nothing percent with the bank. Right? So anyways, investing 230,000 for cashflow at 10% is 23,000 a year. We bumped that up to 240, great! Now they’re making 24,000 a year. Now, remember what is this cashflow goal? 2000 month or 24,000 a year. So he could basically do it here. So I get, I just took 230 and making 23,000 a year. I think that’s a good conservative number. There’s several places they could do that. They do real estate. It could be even more, but even if it’s just, you know, like AHP fund, right, the AHP fund that here we talk about, they pay 10% a year. Cool. That’s 23,000 a year. Now, I go to number five on the strategy list here. I say, reinvest this 23,000 of cash flow. So that cash flow they’re getting rather than consuming it, keep it, you know, build up that savings.

And again, it could be put into life insurance or whatever else, but either way, 23,000 plus the 15,000 gifts that they get each year, that’s $38,000. So in their second year they got $38,000. They can now invest again. So with cash flow and everything, investing that, whether it’s, again, AHP, it could be real estate or whatever conservative number adds about $4,000 a year. So now they’re 23,000 becomes 27,000. Right? Now they do it again the next year they take the 27,000 and take the 15,000, from the family gift. This could be true for you guys. Maybe you don’t get a family gift, but maybe you’d get extra cash flow you’ve been saving, putting way. It could’ve been money you put into your 401ks, maybe money that you just have leftover each month. That bigger, that number is the faster this grows, by the way. So anyways, they’re taking that 27,000 plus the 15.

Now that’s $42,000. They have to work with. So that makes 4,500 a year. Again, I think these numbers are very conservative compared to the options that are available. And I even did this in case they couldn’t quite do the real estate options we wanted. I want to make sure this was realistic. Well now their total in year three, jumps up to 31,500. So remember they started at 23,000. Now they’re at 31,500 of cash flow a year. By the way, if you want 31,500 from mutual funds, that means you can’t be pulling out more than about 3% a year. This would mean that the equivalent of this would be like having over a million dollars sitting in a mutual fund that you’re pulling out 3% because we have a million dollars at 3%, you’re pulling out 30,000 a year. They’re already by year three at 31,500, not waiting for age 59 and a half, which is over 20 years away for them. Right?

That’s another thing that’s crazy. Why invest in vehicles that don’t match your objective? You know, why put money in a 401k if you want to retire before 59 and a half, that’s ridiculous. That’s like throwing money away from you. It’s locking up in prison and saying, Oh, sorry. I guess it can’t work for me after all, right? You don’t want that. You want your money working for you. They want them out of prison doing their thing. So already by year three, that’s 31,500. Well guess what? 31,500 plus another 15,000. That’s over 46,000. Maybe now they’re making over 5,000 a year and you could see how this keeps building. You know, that we keep adding more and more on this cash flow side, you know, that keeps growing and adding up, right? Like, so what happens? You keep buying bigger and bigger assets that keeps going, and we’re not talking about selling and repositioning out of properties to buy more because equity growth and everything else that’s beneath the surface.

We’re not talking about the fact that their mortgages are getting paid down too. So what’s happening is we’re taking about, you know, 300,000 or so of their money total, right? In total. Even after paying the tax, a big chunk of that to taxes. And still now it’s got way more cash flow coming in. Then if they had waited however many decades for their money to turn into over a million dollars inside of a 401k. You see what’s happening here? Like this is just speeding up everything. Now it might sound amazing or it might sound too good to be true to some of you. But the truth is that this is something that happens every day. And in many cases, these numbers are better. Again, they can be more conservative, depends on the situation of life, right? And what’s going on, you know, I’ve lately with everything going on with people being furloughed like I’ve had, we’ve had to get pretty creative on finding different investments that are secure for them, but also providing good cash flow.

In fact, even helping provide some income when they don’t have the income coming in, or it’s not the full amount of income they’re used to. And so this is the cool thing, is that even a situation like this really within the first year, and this is what I told them, I said, really, within the first year, guys, you can actually hit your 2000 month goal. They’re like, how? How’s it possible? Well, it’s about finding the resource. Figuring out where the money is. Again, they never really considered that they could use that money elsewhere because you know, everybody does a great job marketing to you telling you don’t touch your 401k money. Don’t touch the equity in your home. Don’t touch these different assets that you have that really could be used to accelerate and even create good, steady streams of income for you.

And just like everything. Cash flow is the real path of freedom. When you have more income coming in than expenses going out, that is true freedom. What happens though is that many of us are taught that it’s about accumulating and compounding and not, you know, not doing anything with your money, you know, just letting other people manage it and try to make money for you. And the truth is that does not happen. You know, first off, most of those managers are, have their hands tied on what they can and can’t do, even though they know better with their funds, they can’t always buy and sell the way they think they should. So they have to think in a very different perspective. And if, again, if you’re lucky, you can take all these high risks in the market to maybe average what, 6% maybe 7%, if you’re really lucky. Longterm, because remember the real rate of return of the S and P 500 last 30 years has been seven and a half percent, not 10 or 12, seven and a half, right?

So you’re taking all this high risk of all these ups and downs and try to be in it for the long haul and delaying your gratification, delaying any real life, especially when you’re alive, right? All the stuff that’s happening and what’s can actually happen in truth is not an accumulation type of model. That’s been proven to take way too many years for your life to make it really truly work in a good way to create freedom. And then instead do an acceleration model, which is about cash flow. Passive income now.

So guys, that’s the thing I want to share with you is that, this the stuff I see day in and day out, this is the stuff that oftentimes people can consider. Maybe their mind starts to play with it. And then they retract again because it’s uncomfortable or it’s unknown. And they don’t know where to go.

Guys. There is places you can find good returns. You can actually take control of your financial life, not turn it over to somebody else and hope and pray. They do something with it, but have real control of your money. Take less risks. Get regular, stable, steady income from your money, get your money working for you now. So you work because you want to not because you have to. That’s what this is really all about, right? It’s about creating that legacy, creating that ability to create a ripple effect through the lives of others. And imagine what you could do for your family and what you can create for generations beyond you. Even it’s changing their mindset, how their lives can be so much better than your own by doing and teaching and living by example, this very thing.

Guys, this is the reason why I’m teaching you this stuff. This is why it’s so exciting for me. This is why I left being a financial advisor because when I saw what was possible, being a financial advisor sounded stupid. This is why I couldn’t do that anymore. That’s why I had to leave the industry in 2006. And I’m telling you the last 14 years, man, there are some amazing ways to create good solid cash flow. But it does require patience. Requires discipline. It requires you to do everything we can to minimize that risk. So anyways, guys, this is something that you think is good for you. You can always shoot me an email, [email protected] and say, Chris, how’s this apply in my life? But right now, guys, I hope this just expands your mind to realize this income avalanche can become something amazing and truly profitable for you. I hope we make it a wonderful and prosperous week and we’ll see you later.

#Chris Miles #Anti-financial Advisor #Cash flow #Cash flow Expert #Debts #Entrepreneur #Financial Freedom #Money Ripples

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fortunatelylori · 5 years ago

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Love your analyses. (You are to Sanditon what jbuffyangel was to Arrow.) Question about 1x03, When Sidney asks Charlotte for “feedback,” her first question is why didn’t he help Tom more. When Sidney says it wasn’t fair. he’d done all he could, she says, ”Have you?” Did she inadvertently contribute to the demise of her own relationship? Sidney is a loyal brother, but he’s also already in love with Charlotte and, whether he realizes it or not, wants her approval.

Before we get started on the ask, I would like to thank everyone who has sent me messages or asks over the past few days. I really appreciate your guys’ interest in my blog and Sanditon opinions and it’s immensely satisfying to me to play a part in the growth of the very new Sanditon fandom.

I have many Sanditon related projects in the works at the moment, namely a new fanfic one shot that should be uploaded in the next couple of days, a very exciting meta that I think you’ll all love and I need to get started on my Christmas fic if I am to finish by the middle of December as I have announced. All of that in addition to my and Mrs. @kitten1618x ‘s Sanditioncreative blog which will be hosting the first Sanditon Christmas event this year.

All of this is to say that I might not be answering your questions as quickly as I would otherwise. If that happens, please don’t get discouraged! I will answer ALL asks eventually, whenever I find the time to work on them. To that end, I would also kindly ask all of you to please send your asks solely to my ask me anything inbox because if you send it via replies or private message, they will end up getting lost and I will forget to answer them.

Hope this works for everyone! Let’s get to the ask …

Oh, nonnie … I’m pretty sure you had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you sent this ask but strap in … because the time has finally come to talk about …

Tom THE WORST Parker

Leaving aside the torch and pitchfork party we’ve all thrown for Tom, I do think we should take a moment and give Kris Marshall a shout out for an outstanding job playing this character. Look at the desperation in his eyes, the strained smile, the implied pressure he is applying on his target (Sidney as per 90% of the time). He even does that annoying calling people over with your hand as if they were your dog thing that drives me nuts!

Fortunatelylori: Put the hand away, Tom, unless you want me to cut it off! Arghhh!!!

Now, you might rightly ask why we’re going to talk about Tom when your ask is about Charlotte and how she might have ended up sabotaging herself.

The thing to keep in mind is that Charlotte Heywood is our entry point into Sanditon. We are being introduced to this world and these characters through her eyes. So we are inclined to take her opinion on everything that is occurring as gospel. However, we should remember a few things about Charlotte: despite having excellent instincts and insight into people, she is still very much a young, inexperienced girl who has lived a very sheltered life. In addition to that, she is very kind hearted and a true romantic.

All of that makes her prone to having better opinions of people than she should at times. For example, she thinks Otis is “a good man who made one terrible mistake” because she doesn’t truly grasp the seriousness of his gambling addiction and because she feels that if he truly loves Georgiana then he can’t really be bad.

Her opinion of Tom is similar to that. Tom is, if not a nice man (he isn’t but we’ll get to that), he’s at the very least a pleasant one and that outward ease and friendliness makes her empathize with him.

On the other hand, her major issue with Sidney is her inability to figure him out and his desire to keep people at arm’s length:

Charlotte: You are determined to remain an outlier. God forbid you give something of yourself!

Sidney: Please do not presume to know my mind, Miss Heywood!

Charlotte: How can anyone know your mind? You take great pains to remain unknowable.

Again and again, she reproaches him for not being more involved with Georgiana, for not helping Tom, for trying to separate himself from those around him. And while there is truth to what she’s telling him, it also reveals that Charlotte can be easily taken in by people who display affection and/or involvement towards others, even if the cost of that is very steep.

She judges Sidney harshly for not behaving that way, while allowing Otis and Tom to get away with their bad behavior because they do involve themselves in people’s lives and give “proof” of caring and thus make Charlotte think they are inherently good people. However, what she fails to see is the selfish reasons behind those characters’ actions.

I did reblog a gif set of Charlotte telling Sidney to help Tom more and made the joke that she shot herself in the foot. But that was me joking and noting the dramatic irony that the writing employs.

The serious interpretation of Charlotte’s line isn’t that she unknowingly acted towards the demise of her own love story but rather that she completely misunderstood the dynamic of the Tom/Sidney relationship.

In her mind, it was Sidney who held all the power in his relationship with his brother, as the younger, more handsome, more successful sibling to the put upon and fate tested idealist Tom. As such, Sidney’s “refusal” to help him seemed petty and cruel to sweet angel Charlotte who is utterly fascinated by what Tom is doing in Sanditon

And by and large I think the viewers have also bought into that image of Tom and Sidney.

But I would like to propose a different interpretation:

There is no reason to assume that Sidney wasn’t helping Tom prior to Charlotte calling him on it. Why else would he have dragged Crowe and Babbington to the ball in episode 1? Why else was he getting his liver smashed in, boxing for their entertainment or playing at cards in the hotel restaurant? Why else would Tom talk about Sidney “profiting” from the success of Sandition if Sidney had not already invested in his brother’s project?

The problem isn’t that Sidney isn’t helping him. The problem is that Tom has an endless list of things he needs help with:

Sidney: At least this time I leave knowing you are in good heart. A new physician, a new regatta to plan. All is well with Tom Parker.

Tom: So it would seem … Oh, I say … I’m … I just wonder if while you’re in London you could stop by the bank for me and see if they might consider extending …

First he needs help attracting fashionable people to Sanditon. Sidney provides them. However, as he points out, there isn’t enough entertainment in Sanditon to make it worth their stay. I would suggest that’s Tom’s fault, not Sidney’s.

On that note, remember what Eliza said during the regatta:

Eliza: At the last regatta I attended, they raced Arab stallions. The one before that featured 18 clippers in full sail. But for sheer exhilaration what could compare to a sand castle competition?

Leaving aside that this is Eliza and we all hate her, what does this tell you about Tom and his understanding of his clientele? Because it seems to me he wants Sanditon to be the Regency’s version of Monaco while offering the quaint entertainment of whatever seaside resort your granny goes to.

He then reveals that he has financial troubles and needs money and eventually sends Sidney hat in hand to beg the banks for a loan. Sidney doesn’t want to do it at first because he knows there’s no point to it but because Charlotte made him feel guilty, he relents. The result is what he already knew: no more credit for Tom. This is Tom’s reaction:

Tom: No, no! That is not possible! Clearly you forgot to explain about the regatta. We are soon to be the most popular resort on the South Coast. Did you even mention Dr. Fuchs?

Sidney: Tom, I spoke to 3 different banks, at lenght. Not one of them is willing to extend your credit any further.

Tom: What do you suggest I do now, Sidney? What exactly do I do now?

Look at that violent, desperate reaction! That’s what emotional blackmail looks like. And that, my friends, is abuse. Because in one fell swoop Tom has not only put the blame on Sidney for something that is out of his control (Sidney can’t force the bank to give Tom money) but also put the eventual consequences Tom will face squarely on Sidney’s shoulders.

Also Tom decides to go buy necklaces for his wife instead of paying his workers. When they argue with him at the cricket match, he walks away in a fit, leaving Sidney, and Charlotte, to clean up the mess. It’s also up to Sidney to resolve the workers’ problems by “loaning” Tom the money to pay them. I’ve put loan between “” because one has to be truly naïve to think Tom would have ever paid that loan back.

I would suggest that Tom is an irresponsible, selfish man and a terrible businessman who doesn’t need help. What he needs is a business partner that will control his terrible decision making and handle all of the business aspects of Sanditon while Tom scribbles away at his architecture plans (plans that I suspect were mostly created by James Stringer and that Tom is taking credit for).

And on some level, I think, Sidney knows that as well, which is why he fights Tom’s desire to involve him in the running of Sanditon at every turn:

Sidney: I’m sorry but I have done everything you’ve asked of me, Tom. I’m not your keeper. I will gladly own my mistakes but I cannot own yours.

Oh, you sweet summer child …

I don’t think it’s Sidney’s dream to manage a seaside resort, not is it his responsibility. His brother is an adult who should be held accountable for his own actions. However, at the rate this story is going, running Sanditon while Tom gets all the credit for its success is exactly what Sidney will end up doing.

His reluctance to get more sucked into Tom’s schemes in the beginning, I think, has less to do with Sidney being a bad person or an outlier and more to do with knowing that once he relents, there will be no end to Tom’s demands on him and he will end up being his keeper for all eternity.

Episode 8 also reveals something very interesting about the entire Parker family: they are all enablers of Tom’s bullshit. Arthur is the first to offer up his inheritance on a silver platter, Diana refuses to let him blame himself and Mary is ready with a love declaration the moment Tom shades one crocodile tear.

Despite being the hardest one to crack out of all of them, Sidney is ultimately one more enabler to Tom. He hops on the first carriage to London and gives up his life in order to spare Tom prison time.

From where I’m sitting, the dynamic of these 2 brothers is the complete opposite from what Charlotte estimated. It is Tom that holds all the power and he and Sidney are involved in a toxic relationship that has been going on long before Charlotte ever met either one of them. Perhaps it started the moment Tom paid Sidney’s debts before he sailed to Antigua. Perhaps it started long before that.

However, I don’t think Charlotte’s intervention in episode 3 influenced Sidney’s final decision. What ultimately sealed the deal on that was the emotional blackmail Tom has been inflicting on Sidney for years, Tom’s expectation that everyone in his life do everything to service him and his family’s compliance with those wishes and, not least of it, Sidney’s lack of selflove that allowed him to prioritize his brother’s temporary stint in prison (he could have worked to pay off Tom’s debts over time; there’s no law that says Tom had to be in prison forever) over his own permanent misery.

I’m not sure this was the turn you were expecting my answer to take but I hope you found it useful nonetheless.

#sanditon #sidney parker #tom parker #charlotte heywood #my meta

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aleatoryalarmalligator · 5 years ago

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People get tired of you when you are poor. So many people are poor, poorer than i could even imagine being, poor enough to not be able to eat for days and days or have shoes to wear. It upsets people. It's not exciting. It's economic. It drags people down and decreases their well being overall, but not in a way that people like to really engage in. So when i find myself feeling horrible about how poorly i am doing, I just feel really ungrateful and dumb in the grand spectrum of how life has always been for everyone, and how things are for so many people. I am not exactly living in the worst time in human history. I am also not living with the kind of fear that a bomb may drop on me, or that i will die of some disease. I don't even have any children relying on me. I have a roof over my head, i am not without the bare basics, albeit, the very most bare. But i am kind of falling apart trying to make ends meet, I'm enormously in debt to people who deserve to be paid back and need to be paid back at some point, and i am feeling this sick nauseous feeling constantly whenever i get something i enjoy for myself even if it's just like, a sandwich or a hair tye. I lose sleep over it, because honestly, doing something like that puts me in a financial hole, because truth be told, i absolutely cannot afford to be making those kinds of economic choices for myself. Things are that tight.

People don't understand why i eat so little, or why i don't go out to have drinks or lunch, or why i don't buy new shoes or don't leave my house or get a decent phone, or see a doctor, or just a number of basic things. Honestly, people don't know why i don't smile more often, and it's kind of because i have so few choices right now that i have to live the same day over and over perfectly, or else i won't have enough money to eat for days. Everyone I know makes a lot more money than i do, i watch friends gamble one hundred dollars a night, or drink cocktails or go out to eat or buy new stuff. I can't do those things. If i do, i have to force myself not to eat for a few days. I have to really really pay for that kind of thing later, so it's made it very unworthwhile for me. Telling them i am too poor almost alienates me further, because then they have to feel bad about the contrast of their lives versus mine, so i don't talk about how this poverty thing has been wearing on me. I try to just smile and stay positive, but I feel like i am kind of crumbling into a state of despair. Sometimes i kind of feel like i am choking and I lose touch of my surroundings. I don't talk to anyone about it. There's no use and there are people who are literally sleeping outside in the cold, so what am i even upset about?

I can't really do much to change my economic situation right now, though i do have a longtime plan ultimately. Basically, i worked two years for a company to eventually get into a position where i was able to make good money. It's like, a sought after position essentially. You work two years making very little money, and then you eventually get into a position where you walk out with well over one hundred dollars a night. I was three months into finally having that position and i was finally making good money. I moved out of the place i was living at, which wasn't too great as i was living without a bathroom and had to like, pee outside and stuff. I moved into a really nice place with nicer roommates and i finally had a decent bedroom and bathroom and a respectable living situation closer to where I worked. And just as i was getting my life set up, the location of the place i worked for shut down suddenly and i was without work. I worked years and dealt with a lot of like, abuse in a way to get to that position, and suddenly it was gone, but i had just moved into a place i could now barely afford. I weighed my options and decided to work at this other location where they accepted me but on the terms i would take the lower position, but it put me in a situation where i was making less money than i had been before i even got the good position i had finally achieved. So, i was financially fucked, basically. Furthermore, it was around this time that all the standing i had been doing in order to get the job where i made that kind of money caught up with me, and i now have a permanent condition in my legs where they ache constantly, and i struggle to bend them. If i even move my leg in a bad position at night on accident, a shot of pain hits me. So i am always basically in some kind of pain, and it's kind of affecting my outlook on life. Not at first, but it's starting to wear on me. I am worried that the more i have to walk and stand a day, the worse it's going to get, but at the same time that's the only thing i can do to make money.

I also went through a break up around that time. It's not really over, but it kind of was there for a moment, and that feeling of your favorite person in the world just kind of dropping you is really horrible. I felt worthless, and trying to establish my self worth afterwards, with no real prospects has been really difficult. I can't even afford to be upset about friends or relationships, or more accurately, the lack there of. It's a money issue. Just an all around series of unfortunate things just hit me unexpectedly, and dragged me down after years of working my way up, and i try not to feel defeated by this, but i kind of do. My best friend is also extremely depressed, and if I talk about this, she doesn't really say much. She can't really be there for me right now, our schedules are opposite, such is adult life, and she's dealing with a bunch of stuff of her own, and there isn't even a lot of room for me to vent or anything at her.

If i get a second job it would help, i would be foregoing sleep because i am already working a full time job, and it would be hard to find a job that went well with the hours i have now. It's something i could do technically, but it would give me no time off, and essentially like 5 hours to sleep a night which i am afraid wouldn't be good for my mental health, and might ultimately be worse for me in the long run. I weigh it out quite often. I have an app on my phone that keeps track of all my money, so i am trying very hard to make sure that i cut every corner. I have everything regulated, down to the portion sizes I am allowed to eat and stay in line. It's about 800 calories a day. I feel hungry all the time. I grit my teeth a lot because there is always this tension of wanting to eat. I am kind of dieting, but if i wasn't dieting, this would be as much as i could afford to eat anyway. I kind of excuse it or make the best of it, because i am also kinda chubby, so technically, i rationalize that at least i am losing weight. I've lost about 25 pounds in the last few months. I can probably lose 30 more lbs before i become underweight. It's dumb, and i kinda have to laugh, but even my tummy fat has become some kind of aspect of my economic situation.

I am trying to stay positive. My longterm goal is ultimately to get the old position i had back, i think I am the next in line once an opening comes up, but that could be several several months from now. I don't know what is going to fuel me even having the will to continue. There is this little voice in the back of my head that just kind of wants to give up. I am tired of trying. I feel like it gets nowhere. I really want to stay positive, and not be bitter. But it is I have to admit, a little hard when my leg is always hurting and I am always hungry and can't really like, enjoy anything that doesn't cost anything. Once i am serving again, I will make more than enough money to pay back the money i owe, and also live a better life. Ugh, but i kind of messed up recently too. I spent days where i almost felt dizzy and distant from myself. I ended up spending money i didn't have, just impulsively. It was like i didn't care anymore about anything for just a few days. It's just like i snapped, and now three weeks later, i am stressing because i don't have enough for rent, it's going to have to be late, and I am scrambling and now having to rationalize that in the next coming month, i am going to have to eat even less, certain days i am just not going to be eating at all. It wasn't even a lot. I just bought stuff that a normal person wouldn't think twice about buying, like a new sweater, a pair of earrings, some socks, a few nice meals, but for me it was something i couldn't afford. I don't even have friends really, so i just listen to a ton of podcasts to fill that void. Which isn't friendship, but it keeps my brain busy i guess. I mean, I have a few pals. I have people i write online, but I just feel like it's disappointing to hear about how poor someone is. I don't want to bring other people down.

Lastly, all of this would be a lot better if i had food stamps or assistance, but i make like ten dollars too much for that. I had a SNAP card for a few months which was extremely nice, but they found out i made too much money and they took the benefits away.

So i guess i just decided to write about it here. I will try to stay positive, and make smart choices and all that. Gotta get ready for work. Thanks for reading my sad little economic blog post.

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diveronarpg · 4 years ago

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Congratulations, COURT! You’ve been accepted for the role of EDMUND. Admin Rosey: The minute we heard Easton’s voice, we couldn’t get enough of it. There was a certain cadence to it, a bite, a cleverness and a dry wit that we fell head over heels for. It’s very difficult to capture that kind of freshness and Court, you managed to do that completely effortlessly. And the plots that you have in mind for him? Make it all the more enticing because we simply don’t know which way he might go! Regardless, though, we know that he will step on each and every one of our hearts. Be merciful with us, won’t you? Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Court

Age | 27

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her

Activity Level | I would say that I will be around a 5-6/10 on average. My schedule does fluctuate because of my job, but right now I am in summer and will not be working much, so I have a lot more free time. In the fall, that will change, but is something I can handle when we get there! I am definitely an eager RPer, though, and am quick to respond/write. :)

Timezone | EST

How did you find the rp? | Just searching around on Tumblr!

Current/Past RP Accounts | I have RP’d before, but it was a while ago (like, 7 or so years ago), so I don’t currently have access to any of my old accounts, unfortunately. :(

IN CHARACTER

Character | Edmund, a.k.a Easton Craven

What drew you to this character? | So, I’m most drawn to Easton because, actually, I am a high school literature teacher! King Lear is one of my all time favorite plays (I read it every year), and I’ve always been intrigued by Edmund’s character. I am really excited at the prospect of exploring the inner complexities that come with Edmund’s OG plotline/psyche. I feel like Edmund is a “side” character that could be his own show, and pretty much immediately knew that I would love to play a portrayal of him! (Plus, it doesn’t hurt that he’s on the most wanted list!)

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | I’m not sure if you want these to be connected; I’m just going to give three ideas of where I could see Easton’s character going in the future, if that works:

Power Play: I would love to see Easton get the power that he so desperately craves. I think that would end up being devastating (in the best way) because then he would be required to face the wall that he has put up in response to the rejection of his family. I see Easton making connections and climbing up the ladder, but then getting to the top and realizing that revenge isn’t what he needed in order to feel valid. (Or it is, and he continues to be a great villain!!)

Traitor: I can also see Easton going a “double agent” route. It’s clear that Easton will do anything to gain power and get revenge for the way he has been treated; because of his affinity for collecting secrets, I think Easton would make a great rogue agent that continually attempts to grab at power and, eventually attempt to crumble everything.

Idyllic Soldier: Given the right character/person, I think Easton could end up truly 180-ing from his plan of revenge. His actions and attitude are all based on rejection; if the right relationship came onto his path, I think that Edmund could straighten out for a particular cause that is not his own. That could manifest as becoming fully loyal to the Capulets and feeling satisfied by their structure and protection, or could have him leaving them in order to follow someone who shows him the support and reverence he clearly craves. Either way, I think that Easton is not truly self-serving, but shows signs of being a great and loyal follower if given the right emotional outlet.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yeah, I would be down for killing off Easton!

In-Character Interview:

What is your favorite place in Verona?

He glanced up from the coffee he was stirring and flashed a cheeky smirk. “The Dark Lady,” he replied, maintaining direct eye contact as he brought the steaming beverage to his lips. His admission was true, though not for the reasons anyone would expect. He knew that most people thought of him as nothing – someone who’s favorite place was The Dark Lady just because of the gambling and booze. He felt the warm liquid pour down his throat as he watched the interviewer’s eyes widen from recognition. “What can I say? This face is popular amongst women, and I am always happy to oblige.” He licked the coffee off of his lips and dared a quick wink toward the interviewer. Better that she think of him as a pig than know the truth. The Dark Lady is where secrets are kept, and he now knew how powerful secrets could be.

What does your typical day look like?

Before he could stop himself, Easton let out a dark chuckle. “Well, let’s see,” he mused aloud. “Honestly? I’m a bitch boy.” He took particular interest in the non-existent dirt under his fingernails as he considered how to proceed with his answer. “I spend most of my time doing what others command me to do. Sure, I get to boss some low-lives around. But at the end of the day, shit always rolls downhill. That’s what happens when you allow others to control you, to have power over you.” He looked up at the interviewer to see her furiously taking notes, and mentally reminded himself to keep it together. He could not show her his true intentions.

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

“Devotion,” he responded immediately, his lip curling in disgust. He would not speak of this to anyone, but he knew what the question had surfaced. His devotion to his “family” had been his greatest weakness, and that mistake would not be made again. He knew better, now, than to think anyone would help him but himself. Because of his father’s betrayal, he would become one of the most powerful men in Verona. He would see the whole world burn before ever admitting defeat to his blood. He was coming for them, his perfect brother Everett, too. He would make them sorry for ever double crossing him. “But don’t you worry, sweetheart,” he added, his tone dripping in faux sweetness, “I don’t make the same mistake twice”.

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

“This interview,” he mumbled, staring into his swirling coffee. He looked up at the interviewer and let out a sigh. “Nothing is that difficult, if you’re capable.” He thought about the people in his command. He thought, even, about those that gave him direction. A sense of anger bubbled up at his position; he should be commanding everyone. It was disgraceful that he was so low ranking that he dealt with imbeciles most of the time. Soon, they would all be answering to him. “Upon reflection, the most difficult task I have faced is dealing with morons who don’t know what’s good for them.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

Easton rolled his eyes. “Semantics,” he responded with a wave of his hand. “Of course, in a war, it pays to know where to place your bets.” He needed to be careful, because he had loyalties he had to maintain. If he made the wrong comment and it got back to the right people, his plan would be squashed before the fun truly started. “As for me, I have respect for anyone who stands their ground. May the best family win,” he added, raising his coffee cup in salute. In the end, the only winner remaining would be himself.

#accepted #accepted: edmund

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saltyfilmmajor · 5 years ago

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Benji’s Life as a Narrative Stake in Rogue Nation - How Benji’s Character Becomes the Heart of the Film, and his connection to Ethan Hunt.

Dedicated to @ineverhadadoubt

Rogue Nation, or I as I often call it “The Benthan Movie”, is one of my favorite films of all time. If you have followed my blog for any particular length of time you can tell that it’s my favorite film out of the Mission: Impossible franchise.

I love this film to pieces, and yet many people see Benji as merely comic relief.

While he is a funny character, he isn’t just some punchline. His character is how the stakes of the narrative stakes are quantified. The film itself is structured around Benji being the emotional center of the film. So due to my lack of cooperation from my fiction writing brain, have this Analytical essay for day 2 of Bethan week!

(I know, I was surprised I haven’t actually talked about this aspect of the Film in-depth.)

(also this is not quite discussing the Inherent gayness of the Franchise, however, I know @ineverhadadoubt will still appreciate where this essay will go. :fingerhearts:)

The concept of whether Benji lives or dies is introduced about a quarter into the film at the Vienna Opera house sequence. The moment Ethan tells Benji: “For your sake, we shouldn't be seen together.” Right there the story establishes 2 things for the audience:

1) Ethan will prioritize Benji’s life over the mission.

2) Benji is already being put in a considerable amount of danger.

So, when the Boat Scene happens, those two facts are cemented firmly into the minds of the audience, there is an understanding of what the narrative is asking: What’s going to happen to Benji and what will Ethan do about It?

This scene shows two instances of Ethan prioritizing Benji’s life: Near the beginning when he wants to send Benji back home and at the end after he explains how dangerous the Syndicate actually is.

Ethan has a backup plan to get Benji to Washington D.C. after the mission ends badly. He sets everything up so that Benji can get home safely, and he tells him to lie so that Benji can stay safe.

“Your life depends on them believing you Benji, it’ll go easier if you tell them what they want to hear.”

And then of course: “I can’t protect you. That’s why I need you to leave.”

Often this phrase is analyzed without the full context behind it, so let’s rewind a little and show the full line that Ethan says

“That’s why I brought you here in the first place and look what happened. I can’t protect you, that’s why I need you to leave.”

Ethan brought Benji in so that they could find Lane, but now the Chancellor’s dead despite Ethan’s best efforts to put him out of harm’s way. He can’t guarantee to Benji’s safety and he’s afraid of losing more people. Even if it makes the mission more demanding for himself, he’d rather continue while knowing that Benji is safe.

But Benji refuses to accept this. He takes the gamble and demands to stay with Ethan. To him, he’s been out of the game standing on the sideline. He has all this pressure being put upon him back home because he has to lie about his connection to Ethan. The decision is being taken out of his hands and he can’t stand that. He wants to help Ethan, and even if his life is being put in danger. It is a better option.

“I know the risks, more than that I am your friend. No matter what I tell the polygraph every week.”

The next time the narrative hints at Benji’s life being put into danger is after Ethan drowns in the torus. Benji says this: “I appreciate everything you do for me, but one of these days, you are going to take it too far.”

Firstly, Benji recognizes that Ethan risking his life in the torus was to ensure Benji stays safe. The dialogue choice foreshadows what will happen in the third act of the film: Ethan doing something reckless to keep Benji safe. Benji even mentions it again at that particular point.

“You remember how told you one day you were going to take things too far?”

After Benji gets kidnapped, Ethan’s main priority is to get Benji back safe and sound. Almost every time someone objects to his plan he brings up Benji: Ethan: We have to take the prime minister.

Brandt: Let’s just think about that for a minute

Ethan: It’s the only way to get Benji back.

As well as this Exchange:

Luther: Ethan, wait.

Ethan: If I'm not there in 15 minutes, he'll kill Benji.

Luther: Your mission is to bring down the Syndicate. If Lane gets his hands on that money, we're unleashing a terrorist superpower.

And what does Ethan do? He takes things too far again for Benji. This time by holding the PM hostage and giving lane 50 million dollars in exchange for Benji’s life.

Also, Ethan technically fails the mission. Because as Luther said, the mission was to bring down the syndicate.

But Ethan gives them some of the money anyway, and It can be inferred that because of that money, the apostles were able to form. Ethan gave money to know terrorist, against the advice of his closest friend, all to save Benji’s life.

That’s how much Benji’s outcome influences Both Rogue Nation and Fallout.

#My Essays #benthan #benthanweek2019 #day 2 #hurt/comfort #Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation #Rogue Nation #Salty Film Major™#supergeekytoon #Sorry this wasn't as long as i had hoped but i wanted to get this out there #I might make a part 2 to this #cause there was some interesting shit that i really couldn't include #otp: I owe him nothing

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archivedatl · 18 years ago

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AP web exclusive: All Time Low tour diary

Posted by Scott Heisel on 08-Dec-06 @ 04:43 PM

Last month, Baltimore pop-punkers All Time Low took to the road with Sugarcult for a series of shows on the West Coast. Here's some of what they saw, in words and pictures. Learn more at www.alltimelow.com.

#1------------------------------------------------------------ Ooohooo So last night we celebrated two awesome occasions...well 3 since matt's molars finally grew in...anyways yesterday was Haloween and our first night of our tour with Sugarcult. I must say, it is pretty strange touring with a band who I spent the better years of my middle school life watching on MTV. Regardless of where this band has been, it definetly didn't eff with their personalities. They were all super nice to us and each came up and introduced themselves. The show went pretty well but it wasn't a good judgement of our the whole tour is going to be because Sugarcult didn't even headline, the Eagles Of Death Metal did, and the tickets for $25 on Haloween night :) I'm sorry but I would never go to a show if those were the circumstances...I'd be out expanding my collection of holiday treats. Tonight the 'real' tour begins so we will see how it goes. We are playing Washington State University in Pullman Washington. We haven't done too many college shows, so this should be interesting...anyways before we got on the road a couple days ago we were couped up in Ben Harper's (formely of yellowcard, now in amber pacific) house/studio in long beach, CA working on our new CD :). We demoed some hot licks that were going to send over to our producer matt squire so that he can put in some input. I heard my blogs are going to be posted on the Alternative Press website for this tour, so if that's the case then...helll yeah! Well I just woke up from sleeping in the van so I am gonna walk out into the freezing streets of Pullman, WA crack my back and grab some Qudoba. Much Love, Jack --jbstar #2------------------------------------------------------------ Yoo dooodds, So I'm gonna update you guys on the passed couple shows...on Wednsday we played Washington State University. Those kids are freaking crazy! Everyone seemed to be having a good time and we made some awesome new friends. I cannot stress enough, how cool the Sugarcult guys are. Which is really cool because I have been listening to those guys since 6th grade! Anyways before we played, matt thought it would be a good idea to have a fork and knife fight backstage...yeah it turned pretty ugly and we should have some footage online soon enough. That night we partied at 'The Christmas House'. Lets just say that I'm pretty sure alex made out with a dog...I really miss Hit The Lights :( Anways...we played Seattle after the college show and it was offf the hoooook. Everyone in the room was dancing and it got pretty redic. As soon as we told them the alex/dog story they went nuts. We met up with the Pink Spiders that night. We were nervous about that because we've heard some stuff...but for real those guys are the shit. There all super nice and we have no complaints about them. We have yet to tour with a band who we don't get along with (fingers crossed). We also heard that we may be doing a few shows with Cobra Starship in Dec, if that happends that would be sick. I'll keep you guys updated. Someone made us a bucket of the craziest donuts ive ever seen at the portland show last night!! They were reallly good. Sorry for the lack of pics, I'll make sure my next post has more, its just hard to take good pics on a sidekick :). Talk to you guys soon!!Jacko #3------------------------------------------------------------ Yo Babaayyss, Last nights show was off the hook! I love playing at The Boardwalk in orangevale calii. The crowd was as wild as usual and a bunch of kids were singing along. A lot of the same kids who saw us there on the Amber Pacific tour came back. Its always cool to see so many familiar faces,,,cough cough hint hint nudge...you get the idea folks! The next couple shows should be interesting...reno and vegas. I wont be able to gamble but at least ill be able to look at a lot of lights. We all have family comming out, so that should be exciting. I havent seen my brother and sister in ages and i know their gonna be wasted so that means they will be even more friendly :) Also Meg n Dia join up in vegas which is sick, SO SIKED FOR THAT!!! We met them on warped and their super nice. anyways i think its time, i go to In and Out because after this tour im not going to be able to go back for a while :( im going to eat there everyday twice a day until we leave Arizona. Ive attached pics from our set on the Epitaph stage at this years Bamboozle Left and also some pics of our acoustic set the 2nd day! Thanks to everyone who watched us either/both days :) love you peace peace n a bottle o' hair grease, jack #4------------------------------------------------------------ Wow...vegas has to be one of the strangest places on this earth. First of all we showed up in Reno (shity city) only to find that only sugarcults crew was there and the show probably wasnt going on. We were welcomed by a hooker in a pink tanktop and no teeth asking if we had any shirts we could give her...Thankfully we have power windows and middle fingers. Thankfully zack was asleep or he might have took her up on some of her offers...he's getting desperate you know..just kidding! Anyways we decided to hang out with sugarcults crew for a little then start the drive to vegas early since it was 8 house. We got to go over the Hoover Damn which was sweet. It's seriously Vegas Vacation all over again! Anyways, we got to vegas around midnight and it was a fantastic site! My bro and sis were staying at the MGM so thats where i headed. Rian to the Excalibur, Alex and Matt to the Venecian and Zack to the Luxor. We all split up and hung out with our fam for the evening. My brother took me around vegas and boyyy was it interesting. I was approached by numerous drunk people. It was basically like an Ocean City, Maryland for older people. It's just a place for adults to drink, walk around drunk, act like teenagers and maybe gamble a bit here n' there. it was Akward to say the least. Anyways the next day was the show at the House Of Blues at Mandalay Bay...probably one of the nicest venues we have ever played. We introduced ourselves to the Meg n Dia folks and got to know our new tour mates as we shared a dressing room. We soon found they are awesome people and they share a love for getting wild! The show was pretty cool, and the crowd was big. It was weird though because the merch was not in the venue, it was in the cassino haha. Anyways Vegas was an experience we wont forget, and I cant wait till we go there again. I hope the next time we go, were 21...actually nevermind because that would be three years :)stay rad, Jack #5------------------------------------------------------------ Lame! Tonight was our last show on the Sugarcult Tour featuring The Pink Spiders and Meg n Dia :( Damone will be taking our place on this great lineup. I am jelous that they get to join up! Anyways we made some lifetime friends on this tour and it was a great experience for everyone. Every single show was amazing and the fans never let us down. Traveling to bumfuck arizona and hearing a couple hundred kids sing your song is the coolest feeling ever. Sugarcult was very warming towards us and their personalities suprised the shit out of me. they were such cool guys and even when zack was sick they made him soup and gave him Emergen-C. WHO DOES THAT !?!? Thats like something my mom does...so in a way Sugarcult are our parents. They actually reffered to us as their younger brothers on stage. At the last show of the tour in Little Rock, Arkansas us and Meg n Dia ran on stage during "Bouncing Off the Walls" and started bouncing around and took over Tim's Guitar n Mic, Marko's (my twin) guitar and Airens Bass. It was so fun to bro down with a band that ive been listening to since middle school haha. Alex also got to soundcheck with sugarcult at Texas AM College because tim was at the hospital taking care of his sickness (i think he had a nasty cold). It was so crazy to see alex soundcheck with a band who for the past few years have held a special spot on my ipod and in my cd player :) I attached a pic of him sound-checking for fun. At the end of the show we said our goodbyes and gave our hugs. This is'nt the end of these friendships though, only the beggining...now we head home to write a new cd. Catch us on the road in the northeast in december when we head out with Cobra Starship! Stay safe, Jack

#2006 #blog #Jack Barakat #text #alternative press #all time low #sugarcult tour

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beccaislearning · 5 years ago

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Self isolating: A guide for the bewildered.

It seems that we’re now at that awful point where we’re having to balance utter panic with pragmatism: not to take the Corona outbreak so seriously that we oscillate between being immobilised and panic buying, but yet also to be pragmatic about what we can do. To crack on with a real and difficult situation, where the stakes are potentially very high for us and those we love, and even for those we don’t love so much.

Self isolating scares me. The cut off from productivity and agency I think are my two biggest fears. Of course there’s being cut off from people, but for me I know that I worry more about the dependency that self-isolation conversely requires, especially in a new city.

For me, it’s hard not to wrestle with all these ideas in light of ME. Lately I’ve been feeling like an 83 year old in a 33 year old’s body. Viruses are scary for the already chronically ill, because they represent a great shove down the mountain we’ve been working so hard at dragging ourselves up for years. And yet, as I wrestle, as I start talking to friends who are already self-isolating, it strikes me that I may also have some tools stored up for times such as these. I am, in fact, an expert at being housebound. This should go on my CV.

So here, is some public service blogging. Some tips for those who are novice at being ill and endlessly in the company of one.

Tip 1: Embrace it, don’t fight it.

You get to choose your attitude. There is a lot to resist or fear, and yet this will not change the situation, nor will it make any self isolation go quicker. So much of solitude and illness is a mental battle alongside a physical one, and so in grace and zen-like peaceability welcome this time with kindness. See what you might learn from it. Accept the unwanted gift of slowing down. Recognise that is will be tough, but know that it might also be rich.

Tip 2: Podcasts and audiobooks.

Sometimes our minds are just too busy fighting their anxious battles to get them to be reasonable. In these times, and in times that I’ve found myself too poorly to watch TV or read, a gentle listen to something provides enough distraction for your busy tired brain whilst still allowing you to be horizontal with closed eyes.

My recommendations? Audiobooks-wise, I’ve loved listening to some classic literature that would take me a lot longer to get around to reading otherwise: the rather apt ‘100 Years of Solitude’ and ‘Love in a Time of Cholera’ by Gabriel Garcia Marquez have been highlights! More contemporary novels I’ve enjoyed lately are Ann Patchett’s ‘The Dutch House’ (read by Tom Hanks), Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s ‘Fleishman is in Trouble’, or good non-fiction by David Sedaris or Michelle Obama’s ‘Becoming’ which are all the more brilliant for being read by the authors themselves.

My podcasts recommendations are thus:

Everyone, start with the ‘Fortunately’ podcast with Fi Glover and Jane Garvey. Two brilliant friends having meandering and intellectually subversive conversation. It will be a good substitute for going for a coffee with your own besties.

For those who are especially anxious: listen to the Robcast (Rob Bell’s podcast). He will refocus you on things above and draw you closer to God. I binge listen to this in my own times of illness and crisis, and never get left in that same place by the end of a podcast. Similarly with Krista Tippett’s ‘On Being’ podcast, which not about overtly Christian spirituality for those who prefer that! (Though many Christians may claim that about Rob Bell).

Elizabeth Day’s ‘How to Fail’ for some gentle wisdom, ‘Reasons to be Cheerful’ with Ed Miliband and Geoff Lloyd for some positive political commentary, ‘Literary Fiction’ for book lovers, and ‘The Guilty Feminist’ for feminism with a good range of comedic voices. Also worth listening to Dolly Alderton’s ‘Love Stories’ podcast which isn’t current, but has the most beautiful back catalogue of interviews about love.

For foodies: ‘Out to Lunch’ with Jay Rayner, ‘The Kitchen Cabinet’ and the ‘Off Menu’ podcast with Ed Gamble James Acaster (the Victoria Coren-Mitchell episode is one of my most re-listened to).

For those with an ‘offbeat’ sense of humour I liberally recommend the ‘Beef and Dairy Network Podcast’ and suggest that you start with episodes that feature the Beef Poet Laureate, Michael Banyan.

Also, binge watching TV helps, but in my experience it is good to make sure you have time away from screens. It somehow lifts you to look away a bit.

Tip 3: TREATS

Surround yourself with gentle things that make you smile. For me? Lovely moisturisers, great smelling candles, poached eggs on toast, clean bedsheets, animals on the internet, good pyjamas, beautiful mugs, chocolate Brazil nuts, and overflowing bowls of satsumas.

Tip 4: This too shall pass.

When you’re ill and isolated, you can lose all sense of time and perspective. There will be times when everything feels endlessly awful. In these times, remind yourself that this too will pass. This isn’t forever, summer is coming, and at some point Corona virus will feel as historic as swine flu. And hopefully that will fortify you.

The spiritual stuff:

Finally a word from wisdom in the Christian tradition. Feel free to stop reading. here, if this isn’t for you.

I am learning, slowly, and at times reluctantly, that the greatest gift throughout suffering is to worship. I think of Paul and Silas, unfairly imprisoned and worshiping in their cell, not knowing when or if they will be released from the futility and fear of it all. As they worship, the walls come down, and yet the stay where they are for the sake of the safety of their prison guard. It turns out that even though they were imprisoned, they were truly free with or without the walls.

Or as Anne Lamott puts it: “Look up! My pastor says you can trap bees on floor of jars without lids because they don't look up. They just walk around and bump into glass. So look up. We're free”

I do not share this tritely, though there will have been times where people who dared tell me to worship in my greatest suffering would have been at huge risk of thumping (had I the strength). Worship refocuses our whole selves on where it is we put our hope, and that changes everything.

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