#i am sure i'm forgetting some options that are worth mentioning

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜

Corinne: "PC has been a priority for us! It’s heartening to see so many PC champions on the team working hard to make this a great experience" [source]

Corinne: "Enjoy shield-bashing and drop-kicking hurlocks off the ramparts! Don’t forget to toss that shield around too" [source]

User: "I love that they chose a no mage party to showcase. 😂 The two companions thing had me a little worried that I’d have to take a warrior and a mage into battle with my Rook rogue all the time." / Corinne: "We know players get attached to certain characters, so while there are benefits to having one of each class, it’s completely viable and intended that you can find synergies with a variety of party comps" [source]

Each Background has a specific last name, very much inspired by the approach in Origins [source]

Corinne: "We’ve put a lot of effort into ensuring our gameplay and customized difficulty options allow players to find something comfortable and engaging for themselves. I’m sure you’ll do great! It was one of the biggest challenges in designing the combat system, as we know the Dragon Age player-base has a wide range of motivations and expectations." [source]

Corinne mentioned to a user who said that they prefer a warrior/mage experience but without all the slash and spin of rogue attacks that they might enjoy the Warrior Reaper spec [source]

Hrungr noticed that it looks like you can hide your armor as well as your helmet [source]

Mary: "True fact: For the longest time, in the DA writers' pit, we had "It has been __ (usually 0) days since someone mentioned cannibalism" on the whiteboard." [source]

Gabe, posting the release date reveal trailer: "My friends, I have made an effort to avoid shilling too much here so that when I do, it'll be worth it. I love this game and the team that brought it to life so much." [source]

Bryce: "if I may workpost for a sec, I'm forever grateful for days like today when I get to gush about dragon age with the fans this community is so welcoming and my heart is so full today 💜" [source]

The ray-tracing NVIDIA video from earlier this week that showed mage combat was showing early-on mage combat [source]

Blair: "the achievement names include some personal career highlights for me." [source]

Trick on the podcast: "The [DA:TV game] writers were pretty tapped with other stuff at the time, sadly, but I think it came together great." [source]

Though neither option is wrong or evil, making Cole more human in DA:I leaves him sadder [source]

John: "honestly it’s a very strange feeling to go from a half decade of ‘dragon age? maaaaybe we’re making a new one? tee hee’ to actually being able to talk about it" [source]

John: "been busy all day so I just got to read some of the reactions to the DATV combat showcase. I am incredibly proud of this team and I’m thrilled to see people excited about it. even after spending every day with it for the last 5 years I still love playing it." [source]

John: "being creative director means i work with pretty much every single department and team on the project. everyone brings creativity and innovation to their roles and the project would be nothing without them (and it)" [source]

John: "am I playing our game for fun on a Friday night, I certainly am. romancing my own companion to do one last check to make sure all the conditionals work. folks it is a very strange thing" [source, two]

[stromuprisahat]

Alina fails to establish herself as a leader worth following

Siege and Storm- Chapter 13

Why would he? You're just some nobody deserter, who waltzed in as if she owned the place. Last they saw you, you were about to enter and destroy the Fold, then their leader's gone and hunted, more of their people murdered or forced to flee and they're kept hostage in their own home.

Alina headed from Grand Palace directly to Little Palace. Remaining Second Army Grisha are good as prisoners. How would they know they're supposed to kiss her ass now?!

I'm sorry, but did Alina forget to mention different tone of Sergei's question? Because this here reads like mere inquiry of a person trying to get a grasp on situation they're all in.

But of course, Alina's expecting a conflict, so that's what she'll get one way or another.

Touché!

Why is a teen boy with unfinished officer training the most reasonable person in the room? Sure, he counts as an adult, but there are older people with less sense. And apparently he anticipated Alina's new position. If that doesn't spell promissing higher-ranking soldier, I don't know what would.

That's a perfectly good question, Alina.

Either she's forgetting to mention his tone again, or she's hellbent on seeing Sergei as some annoying pest, who deserves to be disregarded.

Sergei has a point once again. I'm beginning to see why he trained for a higher position.

Alina cannot stand being challenged (Now, that it's finally happening.). Instead of soothing their well-funded fears, she's getting angry. And something tells me she's not a person with a firm grip on her emotions...

Again, Alina's pretty focused on viewing Sergei unfavourably.

... and Alina confirms she's completely unfit for the position, if her reaction to challenge is immediately aggression.

She should've answered Sergei's initial questions, soothe his worries, address his pretty fair points- that's what a leader does. It shouldn't come to shouting, AND she should've kept her barking dogs on a leash. THEY'RE HER GUARDS, NOT SPOKESPEOPLE! If she cannot control three guards and possible deserter, how can she expect obedience of a large group of justifiably scared and confused people?!

Words, words, words.

A girl, who just almost killed the lot of them claims their life-long protector's evil, and only SHE can attest to it. Of course they'll follow her now. You don't argue with a psychopath. You don't try to convict a violent madman of their delusion. Certainly not when they're holding a knife.

(For someone, who insists the Darkling ruled through fear, she sure makes a show of avoiding "his" methods.)

What about starting with "The Darkling used the Fold to destroy Novokribirsk."? Power means nothing, if used incompetently.

... or I will have you in chains. Honest at last!

I am a soldier. Since when?! LOL

And how does that have anything to do with the obedience she requires from them?!

Chance makes it sound as if Alina were their saviour. Sure, she believes it, but considering her demonstration a moment ago and the rest of her speech, "option" would be more fitting.

It's understandable Alina's emotional! She almost ~murdered~ someone!

Yeah, but if she wants to lead, she'll have to learn to FACE her fuck ups, not run blindly from them, leaving others to fend for themselves and deal with the consequences...

... and that's almost untrained Alina with two amplifiers and a few dozens disobedient minions.

Now make it three and a whole country. I'm sure she'd make much better ruler than the Darkling could ever hope to become. Kind and peaceful...

On the other hand, it would be amusing to watch from safe distance.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I hope this question isn't too personal and please don't answer if it is. You have mentioned getting help for your adhd with medication. What medication has helped you or made the biggest difference?

I was diagnosed with adhd a year ago and was put on Elvanse but it hasn't helped and just makes me incredibly anxious and unable to focus.

I'm trying to research what other medication I could try but my doctor isn't being very helpful because according to them "adhd isn't a disability".

I'd love to be able to get some reprieve from this condition, it's destroying my life, so if you're willing to share info on what's helped you it would be hugely appreciated.

Thank you

Hiya anon,

(Medical chat and thoughts under the Read More and as I'm not a doctor and have no idea what I'm doing or talking about, I'm putting the rest under a thingo).

Unfortunately, while meds helped me work a bit better (although you know, I'm burnt out, and I'm writing the least I've written since I started writing, so actually I'm not sure that starting 'too many stories at the same time' is actually 'a bit better' than how it was before), mostly ADHD does run rampant over my life. I can't work conventional work hours, I forget important things, I have massive issues with executive dysfunction, and I zone in and out of conversations more often than I'd like.

I take Vyvanse, which - sounding from what you're taking - is probably the same thing. *googles quickly* Yep, it is.

ADHD meds are hard. It's definitely worth trying different ones, if you can, as well as different dosages (for example, a higher dose of Elvanse might work better for you, a lower dose might). There's also quick acting / fast release ADHD meds. And there's atypical meds like Atomoxetine (also known as Strattera) which some people find really good fortune with.

Finally, if you have no luck with any ADHD meds, it might be important to do a differential diagnosis with other conditions that might mimic ADHD symptoms (of which there are many mental illnesses that do this), because in those cases, you may find that the medication treatments for them help you WAY more.

Recently someone I know who has been on lithium all her life found out she was massively misdiagnosed, and actually had something else. Lithium doesn't suit almost any other condition, except for what she was diagnosed with, which explains why she never improved at all on it and actually got worse. She thought there was something wrong with her, the reality was that there was something wrong with her diagnosis. I'm not saying this is the case with you! BUT, when none of the meds work, and they all give you the opposite of what they're supposed to be doing, it is definitely worth chasing up other diagnoses. If you go to get an ADHD assessment, often those people don't look at the other potential culprits for the same symptoms, esp if they're ADHD specialists. (This is the same for just about any mental health or disorder - sometimes if you get a hammer than can only hit ADHD nails, it's going to miss the other nails.)

But yeah, it's very likely not the case for you anon, but after this other person's experience, I'd feel remiss if I don't point out that if - after a long time of trying / exhausting med options - you find you have no joy, sometimes it's because you're in the wrong 'family' of meds for what you have going on.

(I am not a doctor, just relating anecdotal stuff.)

I don't know if you'll have more luck asking your doc for specific meds. Unfortunately in Australia, ADHD is also not considered a disability, despite the fact that it is clearly disabling for hundreds of thousands of people here. I'm really sorry you're having to deal with those attitudes too, anon.

And finally, no ADHD med is perfect. It might help some things, and hinder others. But it definitely shouldn't be making things worse. It might be worth taking a bit of a holiday from the meds (if your doctor / therapist agrees) and mood tracking for a while before starting back on them, to see how bad of a difference it is.

There are unfortunately not a ton of meds specifically for ADHD. Most are variations of a similar kind of med (stimulants), and everyone has different experiences based off their chemical make-up and what they need. My sister gets really intense emotional blunting on Vyvanse, I get more emotional. We're related, and we still have pretty big differences with med responses on the same meds.

I wish I could be more help! My own life is a complete mess for the most part, I wouldn't say I'm someone who has this all figured out at all. I should be on a higher dose, but unfortunately I have other health stuff going on which means I can't be, so I'm just going to have to put up with a fair amount of disabling ADHD forever.

[ac-liveblogs]

As someone who is also making a Genshin rewrite, you are SO right about Natlan being super awkward and unimportant. The whole nation is half unimportant shit, and half stuff the game should have covered with the Abyss Order and Khaenri’ah. 

My own idea for Trying To Make Natlan Worthwhile was to kind of use the fact that you arrive there super late into the story + the lack of ley lines (even though that doesn’t make sense because they’re RIGHT BESIDE THE IRMINSUL NATION-) to kind of like… show what the world could be like without so much influence/potential memory manipulation from Celestia. But even then I just feel like… you have Enkanomiya, and the Chasm, and places like that that are much cooler and can establish the same ideas- but with the Abyss Order instead. Which is a more interesting option. 

And on that note- the dragon sovereigns. Honestly, I feel like the whole war between them and the Primordial One could be a decent show of Celestia’s power, and they’re a good explanation as to why there are dragons everywhere today. But the cast of Important Immortals is too full to fit in multiple dragon sovereigns as well.  At most, they can be used to explain why Gold was making dragons and stuff like that. Maaaybe Apep can be like… the Abyss Order’s second attempt at having an abyssal dragon on their side after the events of the prologue, instead of completely forgetting about what they did to Dvalin? I can accept one sovereign surviving/getting revived, even if I still think that we don’t need one here to begin with. But why do you need Neuvillette, when you have both Furina and Focalors? I honestly can’t think of anything he can do that Focalors can’t accomplish simply by living longer and being more involved in the plot. And why do you need Natlan, an entire nation, to focus on dragons so much?

Eyyyy! 🤝 fellow genshin rewriter, hello!!

You're so right, Natlan really feels like a filler patch? I'm waiting like "well maybe 5.3 will have something important and worthwhile in it!" But I kinda… don't think that it will. A giant loredump, maybe. Mauvika and Capitano Give Us Nothing too… why they didn't use it to have WWBR enter the main plot is beyond me.

That's a good idea re; the Night Kingdom though, I hadn't thought of using the lack of Leylines that way. I wanted to use Natlan as the "shit gets real" plot stakes escalation region re; the Abyss, but that was mostly using the idea of the war between Natlan and the Abyss by shifting Khaenri'ah's location, because I wanted to make Natlan relevant. I don't feel good cutting a whole region, characters are one thing...

(i was considering having the abyss order use the incomplete loom on a larger scale to make changes that only lumine notices to justify returning to some regions, but we'll see. i'm not entirely sure if that would affect natlan, now that you mention it? probably not?)

THE DANG DRAGONS…. there's so much to think about before even getting to them! I'm this close to cutting them entirely bc I'm not sure they're necessary beyond "Celestia killed the previous inhabitants", but it feels strange to dump Neuvillette entirely (RIP Natlan again). I'd originally wanted to work him into Furina's arc more solidly, but I'm not sure it's worth having to deal with 6 other Sovereigns to do it… and his whole "I want to judge this world, all gods, the Heavenly Principles, etc…" like, okay, that's… a lot… how seriously am I meant to take this as a plot element. As you say, could just use Furina/Focalors. That would probably be neater overall.

Speaking of existing dragons, I was considering just making Azhdaha the current Geo Sovereign if that's an element I decide to keep. I was also considering using him for the mechanical god scheme, which was originally part of/still may be part of the Loom of Fate. I think if I did decide to keep the Sovereigns, I might need to tie them into the Loom's completion...? Or I could just use Zhongli, who I'm planning on killing anyway. Who knows! (it drives me nuts that thing's finished in canon. how long does it take to get it going?!)

God tfw Natlan is the dragon country and Kinich and Ajaw are the most irrelevant 5stars.

I'm super interested to hear abt your rewrite if you're interested in sharing more?

[everythinglucymaudmontgomery]

A Few Words in Defense of Poor Robin and the Time She Was Living In

It's been really interesting to read everyone's vitriol regarding poor Robin. I remember reading this book through at least twice before and never thinking of Robin as anything other than a fellow prisoner of Jane's. Is she a good mother, by no means, but I've always felt that she's doing the best that she can under the circumstances.

I think that her life is a literal living hell. She has a husband across country that she desperately loves but most likely thinks despises her because I KNOW she despises herself. She is forced to be a social butterfly by her mother and she can't even express her emotions by crying at night in her own room because her mother will be able to tell and will find some new creative way to torture her and, by extension, Jane. Her daughter whom she loves fiercely, evidently looks just like her father and is a constant reminder of what she lost/threw away. She is playing a part in a horrific nightmarish play just to survive because she doesn't know what else to do. At that time, and under those circumstances, I don't doubt that she sees living with her mother's horribleness is her best option for providing for Jane. I can't imagine how many times she has most likely visualized running away with Jane by herself but most likely is more afraid of the two of them starving to death and NO mother ever wants to remotely consider that option.

I'm also pretty sure that the time frame for this book is sometime in the 20s/30s. According to the website for the Canadian Museum of History, Canada was among the most profoundly affected countries. So add that to Robin's fears for their livelihood.

And please let's not forget that, for all of Robin's faults, Jane does not doubt that her mother loves her. I have more to say in defense of her and Jane and their secret ways of expressing love but since I don't want to give away any spoilers to those who haven't read it yet, I will refrain.

Another thing that I have found is very interesting about how Maud wrote both "The Blue Castle" and "Jane of Lantern Hill" is that she writes more strictly from one point of view. As common as that is in many books, one thing I always liked about the Anne books was that you got all of these wonderful insights into the minds of other characters. I have seen it a precious few times so far in Lantern Hill.

The reason I point this out is that most of how we are seeing Jane's life play out is from the perspective of an 11 year old. Don't get me wrong, a very perceptive (at times) and wise beyond her years, 11 year old, but an 11 year old, none the less. They are not known to be the most broad minded of people and have a tendency to color the world with a narrowness that can alter reality to some extent. We do have to take a lot of her experiences and outlooks with a grain of salt giving others the benefit of the doubt at least.

I have often found it very difficult bordering on impossible to read books from other time frames without being influenced by the modern sensibilities and customs I am used to. For example, how could Cinderella's stepmother get away with taking her own house away from her after her father died and treating her like a slave? Oh wait. This was not the 21st century, orphans were not looked at the same. In fact, most people looked at orphans as if it was THEIR own fault that they were orphans, like losing your parents makes you a bad person and not worth time or pity.

Am I excusing Robin's behavior? As a mother, NO. Do I think the grandmother should be excused. HEAVENS NO! But I do try to put myself in their shoes as much as I can and remember that this was a different time and place. Not to mention, as a sufferer of mental health issues and knowing that that was something that was not touched with a ten foot pole back then and good lord knows what genetic predisposition they had in that regards on top of living through WW1 and the Great Depression AND the Spanish Flu Pandemic!!!!

Anyway, I hope this makes some semblance of sense to my dear fellow lovers of L.M.M. It's been so interesting and enlightening getting to hear the different thoughts and outlooks from fresh readers of this little known but wonderful book.

[pjunicornart]

Long Rant Incoming

So I woke up pretty happy today, right? Well, a couple hours ago I just got the worst news imaginable. My new job (Kaiser) let me go after only a couple of weeks because the job "wouldn't be a good fit for me."

I take issues with this. But, because I was raised right, I will explain why with tact.

One - At no point did they try to meet me in the middle. So, I recognize that my condition still goes un-diagnosed, but I still feel like this point is worth bringing up. I have no idea what my condition is, I just know that noise overwhelms me, I get upset over seemingly minuscule things, and I go non-verbal sometimes. At no point did they ask me about it or present me with an opportunity to tell them about it. Granted, I should've mentioned to them that I may need to be accommodated for, that's on me. But they should've at least brought this up in the orientation/training stage, right? Nope... they just threw me into the process without further discussions. Forgetting about me for a second - I worry about someone who ACTUALLY has a diagnosed mental condition that affects their working abilities. Would Kaiser do the same thing to them? Or is it a case of, "this employee didn't specify it in their application but this one did so we're gonna make sure we cater to them"? I don't know which option is worse.

Two - They were not clear on what training would be like. I mentioned earlier that Kaiser just threw me into training without explanation. They never ONCE said something like, "Okay, for this week we train you on this subject, and for this week we train you on this one." Nothing like that. They didn't even properly tell me which things I needed to be conscious of. For example, when cleaning up a patient room after a patient has been discharged, there are a couple things you need to remember in terms of what gets disposed of and what doesn't. Certain bed tarps are disposable, but some aren't. You'd think this information would be the first thing they teach trainees before they throw you into the mix... but, no. They left it up to the employee training me to teach me that stuff. Which they only told me when it was brought up in a room... if it got brought up at all. Plus, all of my formal training (i.e. policies and benefits and stuff like that) was all done online. With no supervisor supervision. I was just left to browse through 16 boring hours of word vomit that I have no way of remembering on a first pass. Not to mention the potential for malpractice this could cause. Without a supervisor, they would have no idea if I had just blasted through the courses without actually listening or reading to them. Old Navy, my previous employer, sat down with all new employees for two days to explain their important policies and rituals, to make sure we could discuss if need be. Kaiser basically said, "You're on your own, and we trust you to not have questions." They need to cater to slow learners and not just provide a "one size fits all" approach.

Three - Potential malpractice. Going back to cleaning up patient rooms for this point. We all know that IVs, bathrooms, makeshift toilets, and medicine are all apart of the hospital environment. Right. However, why are people like me - who have no knowledge of medicine and medicinal equipment - in charge of cleaning it up? Hell, one of my co-workers even said, "[referring to a dirty portable toilet] Technically the nurses are supposed to deal with that." Let me make one thing clear here: I don't have a problem with cleaning up shit like bodily fluids. It takes a lot to gross me out as an internet veteran. However, if the nurses are supposed to take care of things like leftover IV medicine and stuff with bodily fluids in them, then why am I doing their job? I'm not sorry when I say this. This is inexcusable and unacceptable. A person with no knowledge of the equipment should not be expected to do a job the nurses should've done prior. I would go as far as to say that this is laziness. Also, a couple of my coworkers decided to let the leftover medicine in the IV bags drip into the sinks. That is how you end up with contaminated drinking water. This is malpractice, and I will not be convinced otherwise. As a healthcare facility - especially one as large as Kaiser - they should know better.

Kaiser failed me. If they would've been more competent, I probably wouldn't have been let go. Or, was the problem me? Did they have a problem with my non-verbal episodes? Did they have a problem with the fact that I'm not the type of person to trust people easily - that I'm not just gonna warm up to someone right off the bat? Would I have been let go anyway because I have an "issue" that's not going to work in their workplace? Am I the problem because their work environment doesn't allow people like me to thrive? Either way, I had high hopes for this job. Because it was cleaning, and cleaning is my free therapy. The high pay and benefits were just trinkets to me, honest. However, it appears the world has other plans for me. Ones I fear.

Kaiser. Do better next time. Not for me. But for other people in the future who are like me. I'm not mad. Just disappointed.

[sithisreadingcorner]

https://www.tumblr.com/sithisreadingcorner/726750968876761088/hi-i-hope-youre-having-a-lovely-august-i-was

Hi, it’s me ♥️,

Thank you so much for the reading! It resonated with me a lot, and many of the things you mentioned were on my mind. I had to reflect on it for a few days, but when I first read through it, I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. I was like dang they read me good. It provided a much-needed reality check for me. ♥️

I’m ready to close this chapter in my life and move forward. I’m trying to find a balance between my career, personal life, and love.

I’ve set a lot of goals for myself, but one question that kept popping up in my mind is, “Who am I?” It didn’t fully register in my brain until I read your reading, and I think that’s the core of my current problem – understanding myself.

I’m also afraid of getting hurt again, especially in my career. I love my career, but it’s been really tough since January and even before that. I’ve been worried and overthinking if it’s the right path for me or if I’m good enough, especially with my whole industry experiencing mass layoffs. Your advice mirrors what my old boss said: give it some time, take on a few more jobs, and if I still don’t like it, explore other options. Because I know deep down I am very good at my career and I do belong.

And I haven’t met that person yet, but before I was thinking of reaching out to people whose careers I admired and asking how they got there. But I will be mindful, there’s a lot of shady people doing things in the job market because they’re laying off so many and job insecurity.

I still have some soul searching / reflecting to do, and I had a long conversation with someone I trust. But I’m feeling much better now and have a clearer sense of my direction.

But thank you again for this reading and I’m beyond grateful. Have a wonderful week week.

♥️

Welcome back ♥️ and thank you so much for taking the time to write this incredibly thoughtful review! 🙏✨ Im so glad that it brought you a smile, and I was smiling right there along. 💜 I'm relieved to hear that there are people around you that you can trust and you felt ready to talk to them. I think you must be really good at what you do, and you should believe more in yourself that you have the rightful footing. At the same time, I don't think your worries are unfounded and a little something on the side doesn't hurt. These can both coexist, and at the end of the day I think your old boss was giving you the right advice. Most importantly: it doesn't matter how good you are at this job, you don't have to put all of your self worth in it. Some people go through some really drastic career changes in their lives and it's not at all uncommon. Whatever you will choose to do next, I'm sure you will also excel at, and you can find your self worth in it again.

You know the thing about tarot is that it talks in narrative and archetypes. So whether this is referring to a particular person or more like a personification of a type of person that you meet, is hard to tell but they are probably going to be a character in your story one day or the other, so it's good to be aware.

Good luck with both your self discovery and your career! 💜 And, I was just about to say I hope to see you soon but actually I know I will see you very soon because I received a birthday reading request for you and that is the one im gonna do next! I will get to it as soon as I have a little time!

And also thank you so much once again for the generous donation. Please don't forget that if you need another reading, you can come back for it any time regardless of the monthly slots! 🥰

[fullscoreshenanigans]

#while i do love the norman ratri theory / hc #specifically james bein his papa #matilda being norman’s mom is my favorite#mainly because . matilda #shirai please never ever reveal who the sister’s children actually are #bc if norman’s mom was someone other than matilda … it would be so over #but i think it’s like 99.9% matilda #because they were drawn together !! (via @sleepyhouzuki)

V compelling evidence (their noses, their brows, much to think about 🤔🤔)

#norman IS a ratri I will not accept anything else at this point #the dramatic irony shakespearean tragedy cycle of abuse-ness of it all is just. too good (via @hylialeia) --- #i Love the norman ratri theory #tbh i forget its a theory a lot of the time lmaooo #been thinking of a url to change to and norman ratri truther or smth like that was one of my ideas haha #maybe this is a sign (via @beachbunnymp4) --- I LOVE the demon world is under the ocean theory. It sounds so ridiculous, but when you look at everything it starts to make sense. Norman Ratri and Emma and Carol being related is not my favorite, but I like to believe those are very probable. (via @zazora) --- #Norman is a Ratri in some capacity - 👍 #(while being somewhat of a cousin of Peter and James though. one of his ancestors being of Ratri descent but not he himself lol) (via @officersnickers)

I'm not as big on James being his dad (opting for something more akin to what Snickers proposes; further propaganda here, here, and here) but we are all Norman Ratri truthers in this Chili's tonight 🤝

While I've mentioned before I'm glad they didn't do anything with it in canon because Norman already has so much going on with him when Shirai was rapidly chopping off story branches in the back half of the series, I always think of this post addition by @bon-nii because it is emphatically captures the sentiment beautifully:

Realest shit, and once he's aware of it he has to absolutely loathe it being one of the key components of it for me lol

#I don't really care for the 'x and y are biologically related' theories tbh because like. I don't care lol #But the others are fairly interesting #Leslie being Zazie would have been cool but Zazie is five years old it doesn't line up #I'm not really a fan of any of these theories I feel like they're grasping at straws hfjdjdj sorry- (via @darklight-owl)

's gucci dfkj in addition to seeing which fan theories I missed, I thought it was also an interesting way to gauge people's affinity for canon fidelity since that's what (most likely) drew people into the series initially, with potential sentiments of "I like the Emma and Carol are biological sisters theory because it would have the least bearing on the plot" to "I voted Leslie is Zazie because it would have been cool as shit," and everyone has a different tolerance of what strays too far for them (similarly, how far removed an AU is from canon before the characters stop being what you consider to be the characters and if that's a dealbreaker or not)

#The 'human character becomes a demon' one would be cool if we had an actual candidate #(Hey- no put season 2 down. I said put it down. Don't make me get the spray bottle) #I picked Adam being Norman but not in the way OP probably intended #I think Lambda might have been trying to clone the kids there and Do Things to them since birth to see what happens #But then again not sure if that lines up with the timeline either unless they took some dna sample from Norman before he was harvested #Unless he was given to Goldy Pond like. Right before Emma got there which is extremely unlikely (via @darklight-owl)

I think that fits into the all along category if I'm interpreting it correctly and we combine the clone theory and Adam = Norman theory, but I am tragically limited by the options limit kdsjf </3

But I think there's enough potential there that mucking up canon a bit would be worth it. (Also I say this all the time but the timeline for this series fucks me up so bad since canonically Adam and Norman could only have been at Lambda together for at max two months. What the fuck)

For humans turning into demons, the most common candidates I've seen are Emma, Norman, and Leslie.

#how to make me choose here because a lot of them are great! ^^' #Emma and Carol are (half-)sisters - 👍 #[Sister] is [Grace Field child beside Ray]'s biological mother - 👍 #voted for *Two other Grace Field kids besides Emma and Carol are biologically related* #Norman and Rossi being half brothers my beloved <3 #look at them and tell me I'm wrong #Rossi's so cute. I need more attention for him and what's the better way than to set him up with Norman as big bro? #some crazy theory - Jessica and Isabella either being half-sisters or cousins #(they look alike a lot I think) #making Ray and Gilda (my headcanon child for Jessica hehe) also related #their attitude your honor. please #another crazy headcanon of mine - Norman and Adam are somewhat clones. experiments. genetically worked on before inserted in a woman #(terrible wording I know) but so is Violet. she looks a lot like them I think and she's somewhat close to Adam. would be fun I guess? (via @officersnickers) --- #Tbh I think the theories where certain characters may be each other's half-siblings are my favorite ones #I like the one where it's about Emma and Carol specifically #Alright how about something a bit different since I also put in the fic I'm cowriting in #Matilda is Emma's biological mother #Mostly just from parallels in Isabella's side chapter #I think I did make a post speculating which kids belong to the 4 Sisters a long time ago (via @thathilomgirl)

If I could only choose one sibling connection between Emma & Carol or Norman & Rossi, I'd probably opt for the former, but with the latter pair both having white hair I've definitely seen that theory floating around too lol

I've never seen anyone put forth as Emma's mom besides Sienna though (mostly because of the hair rather than the irony of their contrasting personalities) so Matilda being her mom instead of Norman's is new. Same with Jessica as Gilda's mom, though I have seen Scarlet as either Don's or Phil's mom a lot.

(Chapter 175)

And I have seen people note the similarities between Norman and Violet before, but never that she was included in the clone shenanigans too, so that's a neat addition.

*Either all along or post-escape **Through being the reincarnation of James, one of his parents being a Ratri, or one of his more distant relatives being a Ratri

Really interested in the Other option as someone who came into the fandom after the series concluded and possibly missed some that were popular for a time and then dropped like a rock in the collective fandom conscience after a certain point.

[conducting-cardassia]

what's your favorite way to hold Elim in the *day*

By “in the day”, do you mean in public or in private? When we’re in public, I like to put my hand in the small of his back while we walk. It’s nice to feel him lean into the touch ever so slightly, and it’s assertive enough to serve as a subtle reminder. He likes to have subtle reminders, just as much as I like to give them.

A less subtle touch that I love (and absolutely cherish to be able to give in the public) is to the nape of his neck. It can be anything from soft to barely tolerable without wincing, but it always says the same thing: I own you. You are my property, and I do with you just as I please. It’s archaic and a mostly forgotten gesture even among Cardassians, but it used to be in wider use long ago. You would probably be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t have a visceral understanding of the gesture, even if they have never been told about its significance. (You can also imagine that such a touch would generally not be tolerated).

The only more explicit gesture that can be done with just a touch of the hand, is to touch his throat. I did that, when we agreed to become bonded. He said a single word, “yes.”

But I digress.

Another thing that I love about holding Elim (in private) is when I embrace him and he leans his head into the curve of my neck ridge. We stay that way for long times, either standing up or sitting down, and both are wonderful. Often, Elim is naked, and I can play with his scales while holding him in my arms. It’s a way for him to relax after a trying day, and clear his mind for other things.

[nukapind]

Just found your writing and I am obsessed! I loved your "Mother Knows Best" work! I thought a similar one with Shinsou Hitoshi would be funny, except it's like Aizawa and Eri trying to play the wingman/woman/child, I'm a sucker for the EraserMic family to be honest! Sorry if this is too specific, have a nice day xx

Little Bird (Shinsou x Reader)

I know its been a very long while since I’ve posted anything, I am in a bit of a rut and haven’t written in months but I was able to get a little bit of inspiration today!

In the meantime, requests are open and this was crossposted to my AO3.

(g/n reader, gender is not specified)

__

“Your cheeks are red.” “I’m just cold, it’s fine.” Hitoshi grumbled, shuffling Eri in his arms to knock his free hand against the door of the Class 1A dormhouse. Eri looked down at her sweater before shyly back up at Hitoshi with her wide eyes. “Do you want my sweater?” He held back a snort at the thought before shaking his head. “I think I’ll be fine, thank you though.” A small hum left her, and he shuffled her in his arms slightly. It was a miracle to Shinsou how far Eri had come under Aizawa’s watch. She used to be terrified of Hitoshi at the beginning, not that he blamed her.

And funnily enough, now she seemed to prefer him over Mirio or Izuku.

The door opened to reveal Izuku, Uraraka, and Tsuyu with wide smiles. “Eri! I’m so glad to see you again!” At the sound of Deku’s voice, Eri’s grip on Hitoshi’s shirt instantly tightened.

Here we go again.

“Eri, you gotta let go, I have to go practice with Aizawa.” “I can go with you, please?” Sighing through his nose, he shook his head. “C’mon, what if I drop by the store and get some apples?” She seemed to ponder it for a second, before shaking her head. This little clingy stage she was going through was simultaneously his most and least favorite.

“Well aren’t you a good big brother?”

He immediately stiffened at the cooing that came from behind the trio, your voice making his cheeks burn slightly. “Hitoshi and Mr. Aizawa took me to the park, and he pushed me on the swings. I went so high, it was fun!” Eri grinned, the feeling of your eyes focused intently on him made him cringe.

But then again, your attention on him didn’t feel terrible. He hadn’t felt this watched since the sports festival, with all the audience and cameras watching him— even then that did seem less stressful than your eyes focused on him.

“Toshi, you’re red again.” Eri innocently mentioned, patting his cheeks slightly. Taking advantage of the distraction, he quickly set her down with a sigh before crouching down to her level. “I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours. Get Midoriya to call if anything happens, okay?” She immediately nodded with a smile.

“Aw c’mon Shinsou, do you not trust us?” Your smile was bright as your fingers combed through Eri’s hair gently, and until that moment he’d never been this jealous over a child. “I know better than to trust you guys, don’t get her into any trouble.” He kept his voice flat despite the anxiousness in his chest. “I’ll make sure she stays out of trouble.” Reluctantly he nodded, getting up from his crouch, nudging Eri inside.

“Don’t forget my apples!” He sighed, smiling slightly as the door shut in front of him. Eri really had come so far these last few months, already becoming much more vocal with her wants than she had ever been since he’d met her.

If only he could be the same.

—

Practice was brutal: hand to hand combat was never his favorite and Aizawa was definitely exploiting his lack of speed. With practice and running off campus to get the promised fruit, the sun was already setting and the only sound was the buzzing of the lights. 

UA was peaceful for once, his mind itself was peaceful for once. He’d been promised his spot in the hero course, he had a mentor teaching him, and he had Eri to bring some brightness in his life. Then again, it wasn’t quite everything he wanted.

Everything he was wanting was sitting right there on the steps of the 1A dormhouse, holding onto a sleeping Eri tightly.

“You two should be inside, you know better L/n.” He hoped his voice hid the excitement he felt as you stood up, his arms instantly taking Eri into his own arms, her head resting on his shoulders. “Well I would have waited inside, but you were running late and she got worried about you.” He softened ever so slightly, a grunt leaving him in acknowledgment. “So why is it you out here instead of Midoriya?” “Would it be bad to say I wanted to see you?” That got the flush back on his face and neck, mouth pressed into a thin line at that. 

Would it be so bad if he liked that answer? Would it be bad to say he wanted to see you as well?

“Do what you want, I have to get Eri home.” He regretted the words as soon as he said them, but they didn’t seem to deter you all that much— seeing as you were already following right behind him as he started to make his way to the teachers’ dorms. “I’ll come with!” Was everyone in 1A this friendly? 

Of course, he didn’t mind it all too much when it was you tagging along with him.

A comfortable silence washed over the two of you, the only interruption being the sound of Eri’s quiet snoring as she snoozed away. Footsteps on the concrete and the light breeze rolling in only made his inner anxieties quell. “You know… Eri really adores you, you’re all she’d talk about today.” You hummed, eyes darting over to take in the sight of Shinsou holding the girl he practically thought of as a little sister. If you’d known better, it almost seemed like he was taking on a more fatherly role than just a caretaker. 

“She’s not good at keeping secrets you know.” You cheekily added, making him nearly stop in his tracks. He had no secrets, or at least no secrets that he’d told Eri. His own eyes glanced at you quickly before focusing back on the path before him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lamely mumbled, ignoring the feeling of you watching him.

“Well… a little bird told me that you like it when I’m around, and that’s the reason you drop her off every Sunday.” Hitoshi grimaced, in hindsight maybe he shouldn’t have always jumped at the opportunity to go to the 1A dorms, and he especially should have hidden it more from Eri.

But he didn’t, and now he had two options: tell the truth, or ruin any chance he had with you.

“What about it?” He could feel the grin on your face, your hand carefully linking around his arm as to not interrupt his hold on Eri. “I like spending time with you too Shinsou.” His corner of his lips quirked up slightly as your body pressed into his side.

“Good to know.”

Being late was worth the scolding he’d gotten from Aizawa.

Masterlist

[the-dead-skwad]

Rewind X Bucky Barnes X Reader

Hello again, apologies this is a little rushed I did it all in a day. Let e know if I should do a part 2 because I'm thinking about it.

Summary: A hangover from hell, was last night worth remembering?

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, implied sex

His hand tightened in your hair, a soft moan escaped your lips. “Bucky.” You whispered.

You reached down to touch the bulge in his pants “Y/N” He moaned back. “Y/N!” His voices got louder “Y/n!”

You opened your eyes to Steve “Y/N?”

“God my head hurts, what you doing Steve?”

“You were talking in your sleep and I made you coffee.”

“Oh thanks,” You sat up and looked around “Why am I on the couch?”

“Just before I went to bed I saw Bucky bringing you back in over his shoulder. I don’t think you were sober enough to make it to your bed.”

You flopped back into the couch “Looks it, hang on did you say I was talking in my sleep?”

He coughed uncomfortably and took a sip of his coffee “Yep.”

“Oh shit, sorry. Thank you for waking me though.”

“Didn’t think you would want anyone else to hear you.”

You would have been more embarrassed had you not been so hungover. “So..” He quickly tried to change the subject “Remember much of last night?”

“Bits and pieces.. Dancing, shots.. a lot of shots. Did I go to a night club?”

“Yeah you said that Shuri had never been to one, so you made Bucky take you, Sam came too. I think they tried to watch over you.”

“Oh Shuri! Did she get home ok?”

He shrugged “So so, she did throw up on the way home.”

“I tell you what I wouldn’t enjoy a spaceship in the state I was in.”

“You know if you don’t remember much you could always you know… do the thing.” He gestured to your eye.

You laughed lightly “You know I only have a robotic eye, it’s not that weird.”

“When you get to my age it will be.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be that old, unless I become full cyborg, and besides I’m not sure if I’m ready to relive last night just yet.”

Chuckling he got up from his seat “I’m going to make a dirty fry up, you want one?”

“You life saver, I’ll jump in the shower while you do that. Need to wash last night off me.”

He shook his head at you as you left. “Get Sam and Bucky too I bet they’ll need one.” He called after you.

You walked slowly down the hallway. Different noises came from each room, video games was Peter, Sam was snoring, Nat was working out, god knows what noises were coming from Rockets room and then Bucky’s. You stopped for a second outside his door. Should you say thank you for helping you last night or did you make a massive fool out of yourself. Probably should find out what you did first.

Stripping off in your bathroom you got your dress up passed your face and then nothing. You stood there, eye fogging up, dress trapping your arms in the sky. You pulled pushed and wiggled. Standing on a slippery tile your legs went from under you. As you went to the floor your head hit the sink. “Ah fuck!” You shouted. You lay there with your dress still stuck over your head contemplating your options when you heard a voice from your bedroom.

“Hello?” You called out.

“Y/N?”

“Bucky! I’ve fallen.” You called out to him.

Your door swung open and you felt his hands pull the dress off you. “What the hell are you doing?”

“My dress wouldn’t.. the water .. floor tiles.” You made a weird gesture and noise simulating you falling.

“Oh shit.”

“What?” You were suddenly aware you were just in your undies.

“Your heads bleeding.” He grabbed a towel and put it against the wound on the side of your head.

“Thank you,” You put your hand over his that was holding the towel “And thank you for last night.”

“Don’t be silly, the state you were in I was not letting you run wild through the city.”

You laughed “Smart choice. How bad was I?”

“You don’t remember anything?”

“Bits and pieces, Caps making me a fry up. I told him I was going to jump in the shower then get it.”

“You sure you’re ok? I can get someone to look at your head.”

“I’ll be fine.” You started to get up.

He stopped you from wobbling “You sure you’re good?”

“No idea till I watch the night again.”

The colour drained out of his face “You sure you want to see that? I can give you the highlights.”

“Maybe that’s a better idea.” You took the bloody towel from him “Thank you again.”

“Don’t mention it.” You smiled as he left you in the steamy bathroom.

Finally stepping in the shower you let the water cascade over you. You could almost feel the alcohol washing off your skin. Opening your eyes you almost wobbled again. The alcohol and the head wound were really making you dizzy. After washing out all the shampoo you jumped out.

You wrapped the towel around you and stepped carefully back into your room. You threw on some sweatpants, vest and a soft cosy cardigan. You searched the desk by your bed until you finally found the paracetamol. Throwing some back you flopped onto your bed.

Images flashed in your mind. The dream you had had felt so real. You saw yourself dancing in the club but in your mind you could feel a hand. It started soft and then slowly worked his way over your hip. Maybe that’s why Bucky didn’t want you to watch it. Maybe he got jealous and fought the guy.

You constantly glanced over to your desk. Steve would have saved your food by now and if not it was burning. You had made this mistake before, watching after a night out, seeing how embarrassing you were. You even got into a fight with a man dressed as a Raccoon. Something about it being offensive. Which Rocket found highly amusing. This all felt different, like you were forgetting something important.

After a few moments of contemplating you dragged yourself off the bed. Sitting at your table you called out “Hey Friday.”

“Morning Miss Y/L/N”

“How many times have I told you to call my Y/N..”

“How can I help Y/N?”

“I’m about to plug in my eye, can you show me the footage of last night.” You took your eye between two fingers and pulled it out, then put on the patch from your desk draw. You plugged it into the system.

“Where would you like to start?”

“Ermm,” You moved your patch around till it stuck in the right place. “Let’s start at around 1am I’m sure that was around the time I left for the city.”

“Oh god,” You laughed at what you saw.

“Shhhh. They have no idea.”

You were pouring shots in the back of the car. Shuri was up front hanging her head out the window while you and Sam were doing ‘secret’ shots. It was very obvious that Bucky could see what you two were doing. Looks like you had gotten Sam drunk too.

“Forward 2 hours please.”

Now at the bar, probably not the best idea. Music booming through your speakers was making your head feel worse. “Friday can your turn it down please.”

“Of course, your vitals are looking low do you need me to ask someone to make you food?”

“No I’m…” You stopped as you saw what you were looking for. You were dancing your hips swung back and forth to the music. Sam and Shuri were having a blast by you. But you were looking across the room, Bucky sat there looking at you. Swirling a glass of whiskey. You turned and danced even more. That’s when the hands found your body, you saw the shine of the metal. You turned in his arms and danced with him, your body entwined with each other and the music.

You thread your hands through his hair and brought your face closer to his. Before anything could happen you pulled away. Taking his hands in yours you walked together to a back VIP room. The pair of you leapt at each other pulling and grasping at your clothes like animals.

“Pause!” You called out. Putting your head in your hands you took a deep breath in. It wasn’t a dream. You turned your head towards your door. “Bucky?”

Leaning on the door frame he smiled at you “Hey.”

[ariveth]

generalofthenorth​:

He swallows down the lump that appears in his throat at the sound of her disappointment, reminding himself that it was no doubt simply an act she was putting on to throw him off. Tullius refused to let her fluster him again so easily. He almost feels that this hunch is proven correct when she smirks at him, looking vaguely mischievous yet innocent and cursing that she has no right to look half as charming as she does at that moment. Divines, how he would love a cup of tea to distract him right now.

"Truly,” he answers with a nod and he’s impressed all over again when she’s bold enough to ask him his reasoning. Then, she praises her own skills and he can’t help the way one of his brows raises, nor does he fight back the amused smirk that tugs its way across his lips. No shame in knowing your worth, he supposes, nor can he fault her for being wary and paranoid enough to doubt his offer. At least she seemed to be considering the option, not that she had many choices. Perhaps, it’s because of this that he decides against being harsh, demanding an answer, and refusing to explain himself to someone he should see as just a thief. Because that just seems rude. Not to mention, he wasn’t clueless enough to overlook that if he wanted her to do something for him once she left this room, he would have to give her reason to do it and being polite wouldn’t hurt either.

“Frankly, I don’t know that you are worth it, not for sure at least,” he admits with a lazy shrug, “all I have to go off of is what you’ve shown me here tonight.” Preparedness, quick wit, distractingly charming, he adds silently to himself with a small smile. “And while I loathe to admit it, I suspect that if I hadn’t come to bed when I did, you would have gotten away with whatever you hypothetically came here for, wouldn’t call that a failure just some bad luck.” Or perhaps, considering that she was now a new and tempting opportunity to get something he had been wanting to get his hands on for a while, it wasn’t her bad luck but rather his good luck. Imperials were supposedly blessed with such a thing, weren’t they?

“As for the compensation, it’s less generous than it seems,“ He figures honesty at this point is his best bet to convince her that he’s genuine. He even contemplates sheathing his sword to make a point but decides against it for the moment, Tullius wants her to hear him out but he doesn’t want her to bolt at the first chance he gives. "It’s more of an… insurance of sorts, I don’t suspect this task will be easy so I figure a little something to encourage you to stick to our deal once if let you leave here, and of course, if you agree.”

         ARIVETH’S GAZE IS DRAWN IMMEDIATELY to the bob of his throat as he swallows, and she squeezes her lower lip between her teeth to suppress her delight in it. She’s prone to forget the specific susceptibilities typical of military men, but she’s pleased for the reminder. A logical part of her chimes in that she ought not be so distracted herself from her original plan: get out and get paid — and yet she’s more than content to linger, to converse and bargain with the general. And fluster him.

        "Oh, I am entirely worth it, General." She's pushing it — as usual — but she can't resist. The opportunities are too tempting ( as is he ) and the potential for negative consequence has now boiled so low it's negligible. Her initial tension has all but vanished, and it makes her brazen; eager to have fun. After all, how often was it that one had the opportunity to speak with let alone flirt with a decorated general of the Empire? "If you feel I haven't shown you enough to go off of tonight, I could always amend that." 

        She's tickled by the somewhat-begrudging admission, and appreciative of Tullius’ willingness to share it with her. "Well. I'm certainly flattered by your confidence, general. I can promise it's not misplaced — if my word has any value yet." She's no longer teetering on the edge of the bed, but rather sitting further on it; the leg she crosses over the other evidence that she's no longer a flight risk. "Though perhaps it wasn't bad luck. Perhaps this chance meeting might eventually prove serendipitous; and mutually so." She doesn't elaborate, but her smile does the work for her.

         "Would you be willing to match my employer's price?" And here she's shrewd, eyes twinkling with the prospect of gold. "Upon my return, of course. I'd even throw in the details of my original job, if you wanted to know what items or information may want to keep under tighter lock-and-key." Ariveth sits her chin in her palm, regarding him curiously. "Regardless, I am inclined to accept your offer. Tell me about this task."

[hawksky]

You wake up on your ex's fire escape; wc 2.5k

A/N: I don't really know how to categorize this ? starts as funny, gets into angst with a happy/hopeful ending. I might write this again for another character and make it 0 angst but using Megumi just let this get away from me. Thank you @sixeyesgojo for reading through my first draft, it helped me edit a lot since 😘. Although I have not looked over the ending since I wrote it, I'm done working on this fic so sorry if it falls flat.

CW: Mentions of excessive alcohol consumption.

Suggested listening: song 1 and song 2 you can pick just one to cater your experience (they are VERY different vibes) or switch over around the shampoo situation.

Objectively, there were good ways to wake up. In the arms of a beautiful person, with cold sheets and a warm body, or with the scent of your favourite breakfast wafting through the air. No disrespect to mornings at all, there were good ways to wake up, you were mature enough to recognize this.

A perplexingly rough, wet, and warm sensation gliding across your cheek, while last night’s jeans dug into your waist, and there was a pounding in your head? It was fairly safe to say this was not a good way to wake up.

It spoke volumes for how out of it you were that it was only just beginning to register in your brain that you weren’t at home, you were not even on a bed, and that the continued licks across your face were the work of animal far too large to be one of your friends cats.

“Fucking hell you’re supposed to be intimidating” you hear a voice grumble without much heat behind it.

As you forced your eyes open you are met with an excited dog tapping its paws in excitement of your presence, and the man behind the half hearted grumble. His gaze was unmistakably familiar, but his expression could not be more foreign to you.

“uhm, Hi” you croaked out while plastering a wide grin in hopes he wouldn’t murder you.

His eyebrow raised on instinct in response. You knew he was waiting for you to explain what you were doing, but the reality was you didn’t have an answer.

“I wish I could explain, but honestly I’m not sure what happened – last thing I remember was being bought another shot… Wait, where am I exactly?” You were desperately hoping you came off as charming instead of pathetic given the circumstances.

“How out of it are you?” he scrunched his face in confusion as he muttered to himself. “You’re on my fire escape, it’s in Ikebukuro? Tokyo… Japan, in case you needed the reminder”

It felt infantilizing to have him scold you like this, which only made this next part all the more difficult. You were not supposed to be Ikebukuro. You were not supposed to be in Tokyo. You were supposed to be in Yokohama. What was even more concerning is that you were definitely not supposed to be on your old fire escape, the one connected to the apartment your ex still lived in.

As you painstakingly pushed yourself upright, a warm weight laid on your upper thigh, a furry face nuzzling into your stomach – you wondered if she was aware of tension between you and her owner. You scratched behind her ears, letting Jade know she was in fact a good girl despite the earlier reprimand from her owner.

As much as you’d love to spend the day sitting on a fire escape petting your ex’s dog, you had to go home, you just need to call –

Your phone. Where was your phone? You felt around frantically for your phone, only to come up with nothing. A light sense of panic bubbles in the pit of your stomach, only to be swiftly interrupted.

“it’s already charging, I plugged it in last night, you dropped in inches away from falling down”

So, he was still watching you despite having returned inside long ago. It was difficult for you to parse this sort of gesture, how caring could it be to plug someone’s phone in when you still left them to sleep outside? Maybe he was just doing everything he could to get rid of you. It was too much to try and analyze for someone who blacked out and woke up in a different city.

“Why did you come here?” you hear him bite out from inside. It sounds harsh, but it feels like his stange way of inviting you inside.

“I don’t know what you’ve picked up from these circumstances, but not knowing is kind of a part of the problem. Believe me, there’s no amount of conscious desperation that would leaf me to sleeping on a fire escape, even yours”

You glanced around the apartment to avoid his void expression; it was spotless. But it was even harder noticing, the turned over picture frames, your favourite quilt still on the back of the couch – remnants of the past living in the present.

This tension only increased as a mug of freshly brewed green tea was placed in front of you. How thoughtful to remember you hated coffee, to realize your throat was probably killing you – you would have tasted a creeping bitterness from all these emotions, if it wasn’t overpowered by what was the distinct taste of your favourite brand that had to be special ordered.

He had always complained, there were plenty of good options for tea at the grocery store, why wasn’t that enough for you? It was so much extra effort to special order from a tea shop across town, the only place that you were able to charm the owner into ordering for you.

“How are you still so fucking awful at taking care of yourself?” he spat the words out like an insult, it was jarring honestly. Despite the time away from each other, it was no less strange to feel his detachment.

He moved towards the door beckoning Jade to follow. “There’s a towel and change of clothes in the bathroom, you should probably take a shower. If I’m not back by the time you leave, just lock up before you go, I haven’t moved the spare key.” Without looking back or waiting for a response he left.

You were starting to recognize your growing frustration – you had known him how long? Dated and lived together for a not-insignificant amount of time? Yet here you were, no idea how to interpret this strange morning, much less his last comment. Did he want you to be here when he returned? Were you supposed to leave and act like you had never been there? Could he genuinely be as indifferent as he wanted you to believe? It pissed you that your feelings were probably plain on your face.

You searched for your phone, finding it on what used to be your side of the couch. It felt ridiculous to think you ever had a side of the couch, but you were both creatures of habit and slowly without even thinking you both made your own little sanctuary mere metres away from each other.

You awoke your phone, expecting a flood of texts and phone calls from your friends, only to find nothing. Not a single check in from anyone. You open the group chat and furiously tap out a message.

<Hey assholes who let me go home on my own last night? Anyways good job I blacked out and I’m on Fushiguro’s fire escape! You are all absolutely useless to me I swear to god.>

Your phone vibrates rapidly as you place it down but you’re not in the mood to field their questions.

You’re tempted to leave now, just to get it over with, go home and crawl into bed and forget any of this ever happened. But, you felt gross, it was late enough in the morning that you could run into someone you knew, and you missed the water pressure here.

As you got ready for your shower you surveyed your options. You refused to smell like him, but the only other bottle in the shower was doggy shampoo. Surely dog’s fur and human hair weren’t so different right? Jade did have a beautiful coat, very soft and shiny… You reprimanded yourself for the ridiculous idea, but the point remained, there had to be something else for you to use.

Your brain, far more alert than it was 30 minutes ago, thought of all the things he hadn’t changed, all the fixtures still in place. You had always kept an extra set of all your supplies under the sink. By the grace of all that is good on this cruel cruel earth, they were there, in all their dusty glory, your prized hygiene products sat unmoved under the sink. It would have been sick and twisted to have to leave your ex-boyfriend’s apartment smelling exactly like him, left to spend the rest of the day agonizing over whether you should take another shower.

As you entered the shower you wondered more. He had to have noticed the softness in your eyes, the faint smile you wore just having an ounce of his attention again, the way ti widened at every caring gesture, and falling with every biting remark.

Yes, it hurt every day missing him. Yes, it would hurt if he hated you. But none of that compared to the feeling of not knowing. What were you supposed to do with all these residual feelings that have yet to go away? Were they worth the suffocation or should you strip them away?

You were proud of yourself, all these reminders of what you once had, in a place you once loved, and you had yet to break down, not even shedding a tear. If you weren’t wrapping yourself in a towel, you would’ve given yourself a pat on the back. This victory was short lived, everyone’s strength has its limits and you had taken yours too far past it already. But then you saw it, something you were completely unprepared for.

Laid neatly on top the closed laundry basket was THE outfit. It was nothing special to anyone else, just a grey sweater and loose joggers, but how many days had you spent alone breathing in his scent for comfort while he was gone? How many hard days at work had you reaching for these exact pieces as if they were the cure to all your problems?

Unable to support your own weight anymore, you fell to the tiled floor, tears spilling out, as your already sore throat grew even more hoarse – you felt like everything was collapsing around you. You weren’t expecting to see him, and you certainly weren’t expecting to need him in so many little ways. It was easy to forget how easily he weaves himself into your life, encroaching on everything you do.

The world disappeared behind each shallow breath, and an endless stream of tears you couldn’t control. Your fingers scratch against your forearms repeatedly, trying to ground yourself in some reality you could no longer grasp. It is so exhausting trying to be over him, going through these cycles of strong emotions, over and over and over again.

Suddenly, for the second time in as few hours, you felt an overwhelming weight encompass your body.

Of course, his stupid fucking perfect dog would still know how to bring you out of a panic attack like he had spent so much time training when you started dating. You clutched to Jade as your breathing slowed, but it did nothing to stop your sobs, if anything it was just another painful reminder of everything you let go.

“Uhhh….” Megumi was frozen at the door, for the first time today he didn’t know what to do. His indifferent façade dropped as he observed the scene on his bathroom floor.

There’s nothing left to lose, not for a moment that he has seen this morning have you possessed more than an ounce of dignity, “So that’s it? You don’t know what to do either? You know it’s been a whole fucking year and I still haven’t figured out how to live without you. A whole year and I’m still a mess. I can’t survive being reminded of us, look at me. And yet every attempt to get over you was a knife twisting because they’ll never be you. Now I’m here and I get to witness the wonderful Megumi Fushiguro, unaffected, and you… you have it all together.” You trail off, giving to him everything left in you.

You weren’t expecting the confused and indignant expression on his face, “You think this is having it together?” His voice lightly raising with each word “This place might as well be a sealed shrine to you and our relationship. I haven’t thrown a single thing out, moved any furniture, bought anything new – the only thing that’s ‘new’ is your stupid tea I keep buying even though I hate it, and for fucks sake y/n I should’ve moved out. Every part of me that looks like I have it together is just my version of a mess.” He brushes a stray strand out of your face, his own face moving far too close for this to be purely platonic anymore “y/n I’m no better off than you are, I’ve just kept everyone from looking”.

“So what are we supposed to do with all this?” Your eyes shining, naïve hope seeping through your defenses at the confirmation that he couldn’t live without you either.

“We could try again” Somehow, it wasn’t quite what you needed to hear. “I, am going to get dressed, and then we’ll talk, I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” He nodded lightly, pulling himself up and exiting with Jade on his heels.

Dressed in the clothes you thought would burn your skin to even touch let alone wear, you let out a long sigh as you sit on at the breakfast nook. “Look, Megumi, I need to know if you’ve worked through it, any of it? I can’t, I can’t wait another three years for you to tell me you can’t say the words I love you, that you can’t commit to more than a yearly rental, I can’t just have you here I need more security than that”

He pursed his lips, unsure of what he could say to that, how he could make sure you didn’t leave again.

“Megumi, I don’t need you to say it to me today, I don’t need you to commit to anything today, but I have to know you’ve tried that I can’t keep waiting for you”

“I… Just give me a minute, please” his voice weak pleading with you. You waited, knowing better than to rush him, laying a hand on top of his assuring him you weren’t going to run out the door.

“y/n, I’m supposed to be honest and vulnerable, I’m supposed to tell myself that people won’t abandon me just because I give them access to who I really am. I want to tell you I love you, because there’s no other explanation for feeling this way. For feeling like your eyes outshine the stars, that your mind is more brilliant than the sun. I’ve tortured myself for a year with the idea of you meeting someone who could give you everything I couldn’t, and selfishly I prayed they were awful, I wished you were miserable so I pretend the truth wasn’t real that I was not enough for you, that I couldn’t give you what you needed. I’ve never seen a loving relationship, certainly not for long enough to form memories, but I look at you and I can’t imagine anything else”

Your thumb reaches to brush away the stray tear sliding down his face as he spoke to you. Manoeuvring yourself around to be on the same side of the nook as him, you pull him into you, letting him bury his head into the crook of your neck. You placed a gentle kiss into his hair before whispered into his ear “You were always enough, I just needed you to know it too.”

not not a tag list: @satosuguslut @sandyscastle

[maplecornia]

chapter 24

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.94K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: things are getting heavyyy

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo

If you're still enough, you can hear the inner whispers of your heart.

Have you noticed?

You're able to hear everything you have kept locked away. It tries to break through the cage, and you can feel the chains growing weaker and weaker with each passing moment. Each tick of the clock drawing closer and closer to the moment where you can no longer hold it in.

Where you finally break down.

Taehyung sighs and leans back in his chair, the meeting room now empty and dark. It's hard to believe that at the break of day it was filled with conflict and torn decisions.

-

"I'm against it."

At the sound of Yoongi's sharp dismissal, it's as though the room wakes up. Some in protest, some in shock. Suga raises his brow at the reaction, almost scoffing when he sees it.

"It's too much of a risk." He sighs almost in contempt. "If you want her so badly, why not sign her with Source or Pledis? They're our shareholders for a reason. Plus, since we're all under HYBE it will be exactly like she were a BigHit affiliation. Given the way this industry runs, however, she's probably best out of Kpop and should be signed under HYBE America. After all, she is a foreigner."

Though they are harsh, his words make sense. This would be the most logical approach rather than breaking their ban on female trainees. They made the ban for a reason, Yoongi doesn't understand why they would throw that away for someone who is slightly talented.

Besides, what about every other talented girl before her?

What reason should she have to achieve the dream which they were denied?

"I have to agree with Yoongi," Jin speaks up, his brow furrowed in concentration. "She has a unique and beautiful voice, that much is true. It'd be a shame to let it go, but if you think about it, we wouldn't be letting it go. Giving it to another company under HYBE might provide a better chance for her in the industry."

Taehyung bites his lip, not liking where this is going.

Jin glances around the table, hesitating before he says his next piece.

"We just got back, can we trust that they'll accept us if we do this? Next thing you know there'll be rumors of a scandal."

Though it was all on their minds, it still hurts to hear it out loud.

Can they trust ARMY to be there for them this time?

"It is a bit concerning. She'll be the only female trainee in an all-male company. Can you imagine the rumors? The field day Dispatch would have? She'd be hated before she even had a chance to show them her worth." Jhope murmurs under his breath, his eyes sparkling with deep worry.

They've all faced that. The fear of being hated for just being you. For existing without the mask.

"But I liked her," Jimin says, leaning forward. Though his words are simple, they are said with the most sincerity. "She's someone you hardly ever see, her voice stays with you, it doesn't leave. It's the kind that people can't get enough of. That's something special...shouldn't we take that into account?"

Biting his inner cheek, Taehyung glances up at BangPD, wondering if he knows. Did Jungkook tell him? He knew about Yen, why wouldn't he have found out about him as well?

If only he hadn't saved that recording. If only he hadn't been so careless, then none of this would have happened.

Somehow he feels as though those moments are being stolen from him.

"Jimin has a point, Yoongi. Did you hear her?" Jin speaks up, his gaze glazing over as though he were looking into the distance. Or recalling a long forgotten memory. Yoongi scoffs and smirks bitterly.

"Of course I did, I have ears."

"Are you sure?" Jin mutters in response, but it's almost as though Yoongi can't hear him.

"Think of this realistically, you have to know there's zero to no chance of her making it. Even if she's talented." There's a moment of uncomfortable silence at his words, words which no one wanted themselves to say. Sighing, Suga gestures towards Namjoon.

"Come on, Joon back me up here."

The room turns to Namjoon, waiting to hear his response.

He stays silent for a moment, his hand resting on his chin as he ponders the situation, his deep eyes calculating moves and countermoves. Possible situation and solutions.

All while trying to forget that the possible trainee is Yen.

Biting his bottom lip, he can't help but remember the way she was in the studio. How her eyes lit up with unimaginable love and devotion. A look only a fellow artist would be able to recognize. She was made for this, he can tell. She yearns to sing, to be lost in music, enveloped in a world of her own making. To be able to share that with others.

Looking over at BangPD, he narrows his eyes thoughtfully.

"What are you planning to do?"

Yoongi's eyes widen at Namjoon’s question, and he leans back, looking to BangPD's response. Bang Sihyuk smiles softly, almost as though he expected this.

For some reason, that look irks Taehyung.

Don’t think you can control us. We weren’t made for your chessboard.

"It will be on a purely trial basis. I am planning to sign her as a trainee, but the public will not know about it until I am sure that she will be a good addition." He looks towards Suga, pointedly directing his next statement towards him. "I understand your concerns for her. After all, she would be our first female trainee for a while."

Suga bites his inner cheek in protest, leaning back in his chair and brooding.

"However, I have been planning this for a while now." The room goes silent with the revelation as they turn to him, waiting for him to reveal more. "Ever since you've left for the military, I've been thinking of possible trainees to recruit for a new girl group. The first girl group to be officially under BigHit entertainment. They would be managed, produced, and signed underneath our label. Not through a loophole like BE:LIFT, Source Music, or Pledis. This would be ours and ours alone."

Jimin shakes his head in confusion. "Why now? What changed?"

BangPD sighs, his careful eyes scanning the room in a calm and collected manner.

"I don't know entirely myself." He rubs his face before continuing, playing with the portfolio of Yen. "I thought it was time to expand our horizons, to try something new...I guess you could say I was inspired."

He glances towards Namjoon, and Joon can't help but remember that day all those years ago.

The day when BangPD proposed a plan, an inspiration to him, not quite unlike this one.

Namjoon’s brow furrowed in concentration, he turns to your smiling photo, still spread across the table.

Was it you?

Were you the reason for this inspiration?

"In any case, before I moved any further, I wanted to see if things would work out with her. One trainee. I didn't want to make a mistake like last time, hence the trial period." Bang Sihyuk continues, swaying a bit in his chair.

"Who would train her?" Taehyung mutters underneath his breath, unable to look away from your photo this whole time. Turning to BangPD, his eyes are aflame with conviction. "If we have our normal staff take part in her training, we won't be able to control who else could find out. If her existence were to be completely secret, who could we trust?"

It's a valid question, but Taehyung doesn't like the glint Sihyuk gets in his eyes at the notion. Silently, he wishes he never spoke up. Maybe then he would've been able to stay under the radar, and BangPD would never have to suspect he had any affiliation with the girl.

With Yen.

"You would."

Two words is all it takes.

Two words and the room is in an uproar.

"What are you talking about?! We have enough on our plate with our comeback, and now you expect us to train a girl who shouldn't even be here in the first place?!" Yoongi is so outraged that he stands, his chair rolling back into the wall.

"Yoongi, calm down--" RM begins, but Suga isn't willing to listen to anyone at the moment.

"Do you have any idea how much pressure we're under? And now you want to add an inexperienced trainee to our list of burdens just because she can sing?!" he snarls, his lip curling in disgust, his eyes dark with anger.

"Yoongi-hyung, you heard her voice. You have to admit that we found something here." Jungkook speaks up, meekly. Taehyung narrows his eyes his way.

Just what does Jungkook get out of all this? Taehyung knows he has to be the one who gave BangPD the file of your voice. He was the only other one there, besides Taehyung. Taehyung himself couldn’t bring himself to give you the flash drive, but Jungkook didn’t even think to tell you. He went straight to BangPD as though this were his decision to make. Did he even think of asking you what you thought?

What’s your angle?

Yoongi rolls his eyes, gesturing to the portfolio on the table.

"Yeah, we found something. But not something worth risking everything we built over!"

"Don't you think you're being a dramatic? We aren't even sure if this will work out. It's just a trial, and it's the best option for us to train them given the situation." Namjoon murmurs, rationally. Suga's eyes flame with defiance at the rebuttal and slams his hand on the table.

"And what happens if word gets out before we're ready?"

The room goes silent with the ultimatum, and they all avoid his gaze.

"What happens when we're the cause of her downfall?"

Glancing at each other, they ponder the question. A question that has weighed heavily on them ever since they debuted, ever since they became the star in the public's eye. Ever since the world knew about the boy group...

BTS.

Scowling, Yoongi pulls away.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have time for this. I have work to do, work that has been waiting for us for 2 years! Or did you all forget our promise?" When they don't answer him, he scoffs, pulling his backpack on his shoulder and walking out the door. "I'll see you at practice."

There's a moment of silence as soon as Yoongi leaves, silence uncomfortable and pressing. Licking his lips in nervous anticipation, Hoseok looks at the rest of them, almost unsure.

"Is he going to be okay?"

BangPD leans forward, folding his hands on the table.

"Don't worry about Yoongi, I'll talk to him later. But what about the rest of you?"

His quick, analytical eyes scan the table, hovering over every one of them. Almost as if he were trying to predict what exactly they would say next.

"Do you agree?"

-

Now, Taehyung grits his teeth. His grip tightening around the water bottle he was playing with in his hands, he throws it across the wall. As he watches it crumble at the force, he finds the ruin in his mind easing. Water drips off of the wall, and he feels a sort of sadistic satisfaction at the sight of destruction.

Now he’s not the only one broken.

But once that fades, he's left once more with his memories and his regret.

"Dammit." He groans, dropping his face in his hands hopelessly.

-

Standing, Tae grabs Jungkook by the hand before he can follow the rest of them out. The door shuts behind them, leaving only him and Jungkook in the meeting room, an uneasy silence hanging over them. With words they need to say, questions waiting to be answered.

"Taeh--" Jungkook begins, but in his rush, Tae interrupts him.

"Were you there?"

The silence that blossoms between them grows to a deafening roar as Jungkook gently pulls away from Taehyung's firm hold. It creates a bitter but necessary distance between the two of them. It lets them know that they're different, that what happened back then was something that belonged to one as much as it did the other.

"You heard her too, didn't you?" Jungkook murmurs, his words turning Taehyung's blood cold. Smiling softly, Jungkook runs his hands through his hair. "I saw you as you were leaving, you were the one who recorded her, aren't you?"

Biting his bottom lip, Tae can't answer. Even though he knows that moment wasn't his, even though he knows that his ideas of fate and chance have been destroyed, he's unable to admit to it. He can't find it in him to voice the fact that he was there, that he gave birth to her chance, and he wanted it to be his and his alone.

Jungkook chuckles nervously at the silence before speaking once more.

"I wonder...why didn't you have the same idea as me?"

-

His hands tangled up in the locks of his hair, Taehyung stares at the slick wooden table, his heart in knots and his mind jumbled.

"Why didn't I?" he mutters to himself, a soft whisper that lingers empty on the air. "Why couldn't I say anything?"

Pulling away from the table, where Yen's future was decided this morning, he swallows hard. By the end of the day, he found himself lingering around this room, the studio, anyplace that reminded him of her.

Laughing bitterly, he rubs his forehead.

"Why..." He whispers, holding his phone tightly to his chest.

"Why can't I forget you?"

Biting his bottom lip, he quickly messages you, having the sudden urge to see you. Maybe then, would he realize what he can't find? Would he be able to create another memory, another moment in time? One that was yours and yours alone?

After a couple of moments, you don't answer.

Maybe...I was just afraid of letting go.

Standing almost decisively, he rushes out of the room, and down the hallways of the building.

I need to know.

As he rides the same elevator you rode yesterday down to the lobby, he holds his phone tighter in his hand.

If I don't find out now, I may never get another chance.

Desperate, he sends another message to you.

One more time.

Catching his face in the metallic walls of the elevator, he can't help but imagine yours smiling up at him. A face that makes everything seem alright again.

That's all I need.

What happens when that is taken away from him? What happens when he can no longer see the person who gives him courage? Biting his lip, he can feel the pain in his chest grow.

Just let me see you one more time.

He doesn't want to let you go.

As the elevator dings and he steps out, he pauses, seeing Namjoon right in front of him. Namjoon glances up, his eyes glazed over and tired, but when he sees Tae, they widen in recognition. Taehyung smiles inwardly to himself, he knows this look. A look lost in the wilderness of creativity and desolation.

"Oh, Taehyung!" he says, and Taehyung nods to him curtly before brushing past him and continuing to the front door. Namjoon, however, catches him by the wrist and Tae pauses, turning around.

"Namjoon?" His face is blank, but something in his eyes tells Tae to be wary. They are sort of dark, not really there, but urgent and anxious. Taehyung wonders how eyes can hold so many words, and yet tell you nothing at all.

"You knew, didn't you?"

At his words, Tae blinks, his heart pounding.

"I..."

"That's why you followed her, how you knew about her injury."

How does he know?

"When were you going to tell me?"

Biting his bottom lip, Taehyung can't help but feel a bit of aggravation towards his older friend. Why can't he keep anything to himself? Why is it a crime for him to live his own life, without everyone looking in? Yanking his arm out of Namjoon's grip, he scowls, turning on his heel.

"When it became your business."

Namjoon stands there, a bit in shock before rushing forward and taking Tae forcibly by the arm once more.

"Taehyung, wait!" At his touch, Tae tries to pull away, but Namjoon won't budge, his eyes desperate and wild. They unnerve Taehyung, make him want to escape, hide away until everything turns back to normal again. "If she's going to become an idol, any affiliation you have with her will only hurt her."

Tae's eyes widen at his words, snapping a hidden string he didn't know he had inside of him. RM doesn't notice, instead, his grip tightens around Tae until he feels as though he's suffocating from the inside out.

"You know that right?"

Gritting his teeth, Tae pulls away from Namjoon, staggering back until he's a good distance away. Raising his eyes to his hyung, Namjoon finds a look he's never seen in his younger friend before.

Loathing.

"Don't act as though you know everything." He spits before turning away and walking out of the door.

Namjoon sighs as he watches him leave before glancing over at the now empty lobby. The lobby where just a day ago, he met a sweet, cheerful girl. Someone who filled his mind with inspiration and wonder.

Smiling sadly, he rubs the back of his neck, looking up at the sky as though that will offer him the answers he seeks.

"Just who are you, Yen?"

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: this one was actually pretty hard to write, i'm ngl ;-;

chapter 25 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

[crashdevlin]

Fool For Love 10- Compromising

Fool For Love Series Masterlist , Fool For Love Story Masterlist

Author’s Note: Get ready for some heavy angst and some angry alpha Dean acting an ass. This series is also available on Archive.

Summary: Sam is determined to fix things between his brother and their omega, but with Dean stuck in his self-hatred and Y/n stuck in her self-pity, that's a little harder than it seems.

Pairing: former Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader, mentions of Beta!OMC x Beta!Reader

Word count: 3261

Story Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, angst, past kidnapping, Dean having no clue how to fix shit, some awkwardness, 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! knotting sex, heat, oral (fem rec)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you, Sam. I really could have figured it out myself, though,” Y/n said as Sam set the LOMMARP down in her living room.

"Well, I know, but I wanted to help," he said as he stepped back to examine the placement. He bit the inside of his lip for a moment before he cleared his throat. "And, uh, I didn't end up putting it together. It was Dean."

She looked away and sighed. "Yeah,” she responded softly. “I can smell him on it."

"He told me not to tell you, but I didn’t want to lie.”

“Well, thanks for respecting me enough not to lie,” she said, turning away from the bookshelf and sitting on the couch.

“Of course I resp-” Sam took a deep breath. “Y/n, I know that you were burned by Dean’s-”

“I was destroyed by Dean,” she interrupted. “He killed me and then he killed my boyfriend and then he killed my beta existence.”

Sam’s shoulders tightened with tension. “You chose to become an omega again. It wasn’t him.”

“No, it was you,” she reminded, softly. “And yeah, some of it was me. I convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, so I’m at fault for my condition too, but the simple fact of it is that none of this would have happened if Dean hadn’t killed me two years ago.”

Sam took a deep breath and sat next to her on the couch. “You need to talk to him.” She looked over, her eyebrow raised. “Look, I’m very happy to have this time where it’s just you and me and you act like the sun shines out of my ass, but…” Sam licked his lips as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You love Dean and Dean loves you and don’t argue about it because being mad at him for what he’s done doesn’t change the fact that you love him.”

She looked away from him and scratched at her neck so Sam set his hand on her knee. “You wouldn’t have saved him if you didn’t still love him. I know you’re angry. I’m angry too. We lost out on two years with you because Dean fucked up, but we can get past it. We can get past the anger and find the love again...but not if you don’t talk to him.”

"Talking to him is...too hard, Sam."

"No, it's not. I'll be with you. Come on, Y/n." He squeezed her knee and she sighed.

"Okay. But not here...and not at the Bunker. Neutral ground."

Sam smiled. "I know just the place."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The park, Sam? Really?" Dean bitched as he parked the Impala and looked around the parking lot for a sign of Y/n.

"It's neutral, Dean. It's not her place. It's not our place," Sam explained as he pushed open his door and climbed out. "Plus, it's open air so no one can claim that pheromones played a part in the discussion. It’s the best place for this."

Dean rolled his eyes and exited the Chevy, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and sighing. "This is not gonna work."

"Yes, it will. She still loves you. It'll work," Sam promised, walking away toward the picnic area.

"Would you forgive me for all the crap I pulled on-"

"I already have." Dean looked over at Sam, confused, but Sam was looking ahead to where Y/n was sitting at the nearest picnic table. Sam took the spot on the bench next to Y/n and Dean took the middle of the bench on the other side.

Dean's eyes couldn't lift from the table top as Y/n looked over at him, waiting patiently. She knew well how hard it was for Dean to speak on his emotions. "Sorry" would come easily. Admitting when he's messed up was easy for him, but talking out the whys was always hard.

Awkward silence dragged out over a few long moments, Sam opening his mouth to try start the conversation but thinking better of it each time. Dean reached out to pick at a splinter in the wood, absent-mindedly playing with it as Y/n watched.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I-I know that doesn’t mean anything but I am so sorry, Y/n.” He finally looked up and caught her eyes, tears making his olive orbs shine even brighter. “I’m so sorry about everything. I wish I had helped you when you were sick and I wish I had been able to walk away when I found out you were alive. I’m sorry I-I went feral and fucked your entire life up. What I did to your fiance...he didn’t deserve that. He just fell in love with the most wonderful woman in the world and that wasn’t his fault. He didn’t deserve what I did and I’m so sorry.”

Y/n shook her head, anger dripping into her scent. “He didn’t get the chance to actually be my fiance, Dean. You beat him to death before I even had the chance to say ‘yes’.” Tears filled her eyes at the memory of Malcolm covered in blood with his face smashed. “He was a good man. All he ever did was love me, support me, lift me up. And you killed him. You killed him. How is sorry supposed to fix that?”

“It’s not,” Dean answered, shaking his head. “It’s not supposed to fix anything. But I been…” He took a shaky breath and let his tongue out to run along his bottom lip. “Since I woke up and realized what I did, I’ve been sick about it. I ruined everything for you and I ruined everything again after you worked so hard to put together a good life without us and…” He shook his head as tears finally fell. “I’m so sorry.”

"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I was so forgettable that you could toss me aside so easily. I'm sorry I picked beta existence instead of Chuck just taking my marks because if I'd chosen the first option, I'd be the only one affected. Malcolm would still be alive and you never would have gone feral, because you wouldn't be mated anymore." Dean's bottom lip trembled as she stood. "Would've been better for everyone."

"Y/n," Sam started but she shook her head and leaned over Dean.

"I was raped by a demon because of you and you never touched me again after. Do you even understand what that did to my self-worth? Do you understand that I thought I was ruined because my alpha wouldn't touch me? How broken I already was about what that monster did and how I felt so destroyed-"

"It was Amara, Y/n, she got in my head and-"

"And you couldn’t push through it. Not for me…and you couldn’t tell me why and you could-" Dean stood and moved like he was going to grab her, but stopped and stepped back instead. She let out a deep breath and licked her lips. "You hurt me in a hundred ways, Dean."

"I know. I wish I could fix it."

"You're talking again. That's a start," Sam said, moving to stand too.

"Right. A start." Y/n cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes. "I'm, um, gonna get going. I've got work in a half hour."

"Okay," Sam said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. "Love you. Text me?"

"Yeah," she agreed before nodding at Dean and walking toward the parking lot.

The brothers watched her walk away until they couldn't see her anymore. "Told you it wouldn't work," Dean grumbled before walking away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I was thinking we could do dinner...with Dean," Sam suggested as he brought Y/n a cup of coffee. "It's been a few days, you've calmed down. I know you've been thinking about his apology, right?"

She rolled her eyes and took a sip of the coffee. "Yeah. I guess I've been thinking but...it’s...I’m just tired of...compromising, I guess?”

“Compromising?” Sam asked, shaking his head a little.

“Putting aside my feelings and my desires to be...because omegas make things easier, omegas soothe and fix, omegas-”

“You don’t have to-”

“Of course, I do. I’m the omega, it’s my lot in life.” She cleared her throat. “It’s fine. I’m...it’s fine. Let’s just...if you want to have dinner with Dean, we can have dinner with Dean.”

“If you don’t want to, then-” Sam started.

“What I want doesn’t matter,” she dismissed.

“Yes, it does!” Sam argued. “Of course, it does, Y/n.”

“No, it doesn’t, because what I want in my head is a different thing than what I want in my body and my body is going to win out in the end because of these stupid fucking marks.” She closed her eyes tight and scratched her nails across her eyebrows. “It’s okay. It’s fine. Call Dean. We’ll do B&E, get some pizza or something.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure. Gonna have to fix things eventually, right?”

Sam nodded and pulled out his phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was nervous as he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. He wasn’t sure why he kept letting Sam talk him into this stuff. Y/n was never going to forgive him. She shouldn’t. He fucked up. He fucked everything up. He ruined everything.

She was sitting at a booth with Sam when he walked into the pizzeria. Dean swallowed thickly and approached the booth, taking the seat on the opposite side. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Sam and Y/n echoed.

“Have we, uh, have we ordered?”

“No. Figured we should wait. That’s the polite thing, right?” Y/n asked, looking down at the tabletop.

Dean bit his bottom lip and shook his head with a sigh. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this. You’re obviously uncomfortable and-”

“I’m on the edge of my first heat in years,” Y/n interrupted. “I can feel it starting to claw at my insides. Little cramps, uncomfortable anxiety...it’s just been a while since I felt it, okay? That’s why I’m on edge.”

Dean nodded. “Sorry. I...I couldn’t smell it over Sammy’s scent. I...I hope...I mean...I don’t suppose you’re excited about it, but...Sam’s gonna be good to take care-” The powerful way Y/n rolled her eyes stopped Dean mid sentence.

“Sam won’t be enough, dumbass.”

“Y/n,” Sam chastised quietly and Y/n rolled her eyes again.

“He is. If he’s already forgotten how I almost died last time,” Y/n snapped.

“I didn’t forget,” Dean said, softly, picking at his paper napkin. “I just figured you’d wanna go as long as possible without touching me. Figured I’d be a last-ditch effort, keep yourself away from me until you absolutely have to-”

“You think I’d rather subject myself to rejection sickness for a while instead of having sex with you? You think I hate you so much that I’d put myself through that pain again?” she asked, seriously. Dean just shrugged, still not looking at her. She sighed and shook her head. “If I hated you, I’d’ve let you die...feral and lost. I don’t hate you...much as I want to.”

"So...you don't hate me?" Dean asked, shyly.

"I wish I did. I really tried." Y/n shook her head and picked up her drink. "I tried to hate you when you said I wasn't really dying and I tried to hate you in Seattle and I tried to hate you when Sam asked me to save you, but I couldn't. Even after what you did to Mal...I couldn’t." Y/n took a sip as Sam wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "There was so much potential in our relationship. We got through you being a demon and the Mark making you dark...we could have gotten through anything together."

"'Til I killed you," Dean whispered. "And I did. I killed you, Y/n. I'm the reason you left and Chuck found you and I'm so sorry." He looked up and caught Y/n's eyes. "I'm sorry I'm the reason your family thinks you're dead and I'm sorry I hurt you so badly. I'm so sorry."

The server walked up as Y/n opened her mouth to reply, so she stopped. They ordered their food and fell into a tense silence that followed them across the entire meal. Y/n cuddled closer to Sam as they ate. She was feeling needy, her abdomen cramping more the longer she was around her alphas, but she was doing her best to ignore it. She wasn't exactly happy to be reduced to base animal cravings again and she planned to fight it until the fever hit.

Dean picked pepperoni off of his pizza and sneaked looks across the table. "You should hate me," he whispered eventually. "I do."

"You hated yourself before all this," Y/n snapped.

“Yeah.” Dean nodded and stood, tossing a twenty dollar bill on the table. “It made sense then, too.”

Sam stood as Dean started to walk away from the table. “We’ll call you when she starts her heat.”

“Not until she really needs me, Sammy. You should take care of her needs. I don’t deserve-”

Sam shook his head. “She’ll need you faster than you think she will. First heat. It’s just like a first heat, Dean.”

Dean sighed. “Just call me when she needs me. I don’t deserve to touch her.”

“Coward,” Y/n whispered as Dean walked out of the restaurant.

Sam sat next to her and kissed her forehead. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get you through this.”

“Don’t really have much of a choice, do we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n’s temperature spiked as Sam drove her to her house. She squirmed in the passenger seat of the classic pickup truck as she rolled the window down to get air circulating in the cab.

"God, this feels almost as bad as…" she whimpered, curling in on herself.

"As bad as?" Sam asked, reaching over to set his hand on her thigh.

"The first one. The night at the bar," she whined, spreading her legs in silent invitation. Sam slipped his hand further up her thigh and pressed the seam of her jeans into her mound. She grabbed his hand, grinding against it as she made him put more pressure on her. "It's so overwhelming."

"I'll take care of you, Y/n," Sam promised, rubbing at her clit through her jeans.

She was a sweating mess of pheromones by the time Sam got her to her house. Sam held his breath as he moved to pick her up and help her out of the truck. If he breathed in the powerful scent of her, he likely wouldn't make it inside with her. He didn’t need her neighbors to witness him knotting her on the front lawn. She clung to him as he helped her inside, pulling her keys out of her jacket and opening the door. She whined his name as he helped her in and immediately turned right into the bedroom.

They hadn't done more than kiss and grope each other since she came back to Lebanon. Dean had gone further than Sam. As Sam grabbed her head and pressed a fierce kiss to her lips, she clawed at her clothes, desperate to be free of the constricting material. Sam grabbed the collar of her t-shirt and tugged, growling as she gasped against his mouth.

"Pants off. Bed," he commanded, pulling at his own clothes. She scrambled to kick her shoes off and fumbled with the button of her jeans as she stumbled backward toward the mattress. “I’ve been thinking about this for months. Getting between those legs again, listening to you whine. Tasting you. Fuck, I missed the way you taste.”

“Alpha, please,” she whined, dropping back onto the bed and spreading her legs for him.

“God, you are so beautiful,” he whispered, joining her on the bed. He was overwhelmed by the way she smelled and how she looked, sweating and spread out before him. He ran his hand across her collarbone and down into the valley between her breasts, loving the way she pressed herself closer to him. “I’m going to make you feel better, Omega.”

Sam leaned down and took her nipple in his mouth, sucking lightly despite the desire to bite down and make her squirm. Her hand came down and buried in his hair as he laved his tongue over her skin, making the sensitive skin pucker at the attention. Sam couldn’t put into words how much he’d missed the scents and sensations attacking his brain in that moment. A million memories assaulted him as he kissed his way down her body to lick his way along her mound. This was Heaven for Sam. Hearing her noises, hearing her gasps, feeling her fingers grabbing his scalp like her life depended on it, as he feasted on her slick. He wanted nothing more for the rest of his life.

When she came apart on his tongue, he immediately climbed up her body and looked down into her lust-glazed eyes. “Do you want to present or...or should I take you like this or-”

“Let me ride.”

Sam’s cock twitched at the breathless request and he nodded before dropping to the bed beside her. He licked his lips and brushed his hair out of his face as she set her hands on his chest and moved to straddle him. She looked apprehensive for a moment before reaching down and lining his cock up with her entrance. He put his hand over hers on his chest and smiled up at her. “It’s okay, ‘mega.”

She leaned down and kissed him as she started working her way down his shaft. Thick alpha cock filling her up was exactly what she needed and she sighed in relief when he bottomed out inside of her. “Fuck, Sam.”

“You feel perfect, baby. Such a beautiful omega, so tight and wet. Perfect,” Sam praised as she started to roll her hips.

She wouldn’t have admitted to it in Seattle, but she missed this kind of sex. She missed an alpha dick in her, knot swelling at the base. She couldn’t say she dreamed of it, she hadn’t had any sexual dreams. But she did think about it. She thought about Sam and she thought about his brother, her original alpha, her original love. She missed them both. She missed this.

Sam let her work herself into a frenzy. He let her ride as fast as she wanted to. He let her slam her body down on him and only gave quick thrusts every once in a while to let her know he was enjoying himself as much as she was. When his knot started to fill, she leaned down to kiss him again, nails digging into the back of his neck as she finally fell over into oblivion. Sam reached down to grab her hips and braced his feet against the mattress as he started to thrust up into her, chasing his own ending, wanting nothing more than to knot her once more.

His knot caught and they both moaned loudly, kissing as he continued to try to thrust, his cock twitching inside of her. They were dripping sweat and satisfaction as she dropped to lie against his chest. “That...was amazing,” she whispered, panting harshly.

Sam chuckled and held her closer to him. “Yeah. You feeling okay?”

“For now.”

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[namjooningelsewhere]

The Prince Charming!!

Pairing : Yoongi x reader

Genre: 18+

Warnings: Absolutely nothing!!!!

Summary- You are forced to attend a prestigious homecoming ball which you wanted to avoid but also which you couldn't, you didn't make in any plans on avoiding until you actually meet someone interesting and suddenly everything just seems perfect. Comfortably perfect!

The big thingies weren't quite your scene, specially when all you had to do was look like a freaking doll and stand in poise and behave and watch what you said. Naah please you were done with it.

And today happened to be exactly that kind of day. It was ball at the most affluent family of the city, The Mins. Seems like the so called prince charming had returned to his kingdom after a sabbatical and to celebrate the return his parents had hosted a ball, actually quite grand one at that.

You never wanted to go home because you knew your mother would be waiting with her battalion of stylists, beauticians to make you look like a diva, which obviously you were not. You had features that were standing out but you thought you needed to shine from within to shine on the outside.

You crept inside your own house like a thief tiptoeing to avoid any noise that would attract the attention of your mother. "Rebeca where you think you are going?" Your mothers voice boomed through the corridor. She was your mother alright.

"Give me one good reason why you haven't tried the dresses I've sent to your room? One good reason why you haven't pushed it for the fittings yet?" Umm maybe i came just now, Maybe i was busy trying to prepare for a interview that can get me something real?" You scoffed.

"Very funny, now go to your room and try the dresses and show it to me?" She said. I walked slowly to my room displaying ample amount of disinterest. "Faster now woman, The balls in the evening not tomorrow" you heard your voice once again. How does she know everything? You still couldn't uncover this mystery, You checked if hallways had cameras but nope nothing nada.

You try a lot of dresses but a red one catches your eyes. You try the red one it fit you beautifully amplifying every curve at your body and with a thigh high slits making it look picture perfect. Which also made you look perfect for the gram;).

You finished with a little bit of makeup and a shimmery nude gloss which made your lips look even prettier. You arrived at the ball with your parents and it looked it was more of a met gala type event.

As you walked to the hall you could see girls in all kinds of designers making it a high society designer store, looks like the so called prince charming had a lot of options to choose from.

You were greeted by a cheerful greeting and you grinned by the ear, you knew who it was. Hobi your bestfriend waving right back to him. You gave him a friendly hug, and he gasped for a second "Look at you gorgeous, looking enchanting!! He chimed.

Oh boy didn't have much of a choice you see! You exclaimed. The event turned out to be extremely boring with occasional dances here and there. All everyone was doing was to try finding the guy in question.

You moved to the hallway to use the powder room all you could hear was the gossips about the prince charming, "Where is he ?" I've heard he's hot!! Imagine how will he be?" You were absolutely disinterested in the prince charming and the only reason you had your ass in the room was your mother. That woman was capable of throwing you out of the window if you didn't do what she said. She was someone you would never mess with.

You scanned the room for Hobi, this guy was nowhere to be seen. And somehow you exactly knew where he would be at this moment. You fumbled for the phone but let him just be, At least he was having fun.

The ball was going in full swing yet there was no sign of the prince charming, wishing that man would appear somewhere and this ball would end, so you looked at the exit so that you could have a breath fresh air, you found a exit to a open space down towards the parking.

You moved ahead and went near the garden, and just spread your hands the air felt cold and specially it felt even cold with the strapless dress you had on. "Bored already?" You jumped at the voice behind you.

You turned behind to see a man, a magnificent man. Dark hair on his forehead dressed sharp a tux and those rings in the fingers was the highlight and his sly smile made me loose my breath for a second. Who was this you thought to yourself.

"A lot actually, but I don't seem to have a choice" You sighed. "And why would that be?" He asked. "You friends with the Mins?" You asked in a cautious tone. No he said. "Just that I find such events exhausting not to forget my mother bought me here all dolled up because she thinks I might find a good match and that's downright stupid. You exclaimed.

You could clearly say he was amused. He chuckled and that made you zone out to a parallel universe. "Oh I forgot I didn't get your name?" I didn't give it out yet you chuckled. Rebecca you replied stretching your hand in forward to a handshake.

"Lovely name" he said. Before you could say anything out heard footsteps approaching and next thing you knew he pulled you by the hand and started running towards what looked like a lake house.

I'm sorry people would have misinterpreted and this is a small group of the people here you know, they talk he explained awkwardness quite evident in his voice. "I can understand all these people do is talk. And I'm the last one to be involved. I have a quite fierce of a mother who will not tolerate any such nonsense of this sort" he laughed at my exasperated comment.

"Did someone tell you are dramatic?" He chuckled. "Yeah but then i told them not to mention it again" you laughed. "What are you doing here? Friend of the prince charming?" You asked curiosity taking over you.

"Prince charming?" He asked amused. " Yeah since he has a gazillion girls here who are here for him, must be a charmer I guess you say. He looks like he wanted to have a laughing fit, but didn't do so. "What if he was a charmer? I mean the guy has money, power, mostly looks and what if hes sexy too? Don't you find it appealing?"

"That's not what's all appealing, I mean i cant just doll up and compete for someone who i don't even know and besides my kind of love is more of a personality not the wallet or the pants or the looks. You argued.

"I'm starving!!" he says with a cute expression. Why don't you find something to eat inside I'm sure they have a plethora of options."I said "Nope food inside feels boring, Lets go out." You had your jaw open to the ground at his offer, How were you even supposed to leave this god damn place without your mother knowing.

You planned a hundred scenarios but nothing concrete came to your mind but some voice in your head asked you to throw caution to the wind and go with the tux guy. "Okay you said but there is one thing you have to do for me," You look at him innocently hoping he would agree. "Anything" He replied.

"Can you get me a pair of sneakers? I am going to have my feet cut off if i stay in these heels for one more min." He burst out laughing at your request, "This is the most unique thing someone has ever asked me to do", He chuckled.

He ushered you to the parking lot and opened a car boot to hand you over a pair of white sneakers and you unknowingly threw your heels in his boot. ?He closed it and pulled you towards his bike, You had your eyes out of your head for a minute. "Care for an adventure?" He smirked.

"Haven't you been noticing I'm wearing a gown all this time? You asked amused at this persons innocence. "Oh come on sneaker girl i know you can manage and for all you know this might be the most adventurous night of your life? Be a sport!"

You still could not believe you were doing this as you wore the helmet but it seemed thrilling and you thanked the designers to have kept the slit big enough to manage. The ride was filled with an adventure you have never tried before and most of it for the part that he was a complete stranger and still you felt the urge to trust him like it was inbuilt.

You decided to eat kimchi fried rice avoiding his amused looks for choosing something simple when you could have gone more for a gown and tux place but for what it was worth it turned out to be one of the best meals you and he had in a while. The time was passing by in mere fractions as you planned your last stop on a hilltop, starlit and quite a scenic view of the city.

The wind was blowing in your face calming all the excitement of the night it had really been an interesting one for sure. "did you dance at the ball?" He asked . "No why? You know its a shame that you are wearing such a beautiful dress meant to be to a ball but you didn't dance. I smiled at his thoughts believing that coming to this ball was a decision that was totally worth it. Even worth of getting myself killed by mother the moment i step inside the house. But it seemed worth it.

"Who said we cant change it?" he said. You were shocked when he played the song that was the most perfect fit for the night and pulled me in for a dance. You swayed in his arms like you belonged there and he danced as if you were some queen he was having a dance with. You moved as if it was just meant to be and in that moment strangely everything seemed perfect.

The ride back was just you and him discussing your and his interest and just normal things, just as normally as a night could have ended except he didn't let you go till you handed him your number. "Thanks for saving me from the ball and i had an amazing time really" you said unsure of his reaction.

"Likewise" He replied but with a peck on your cheek. He left you at the door bidding a goodbye. As you stood there in two minds, relishing your encounter of the stranger whose name you had forgotten to ask and second what was the lioness inside the house going to do with you?"

You Froze on your spot when you received a text message:

Sneaker girl, FYI I'm not a prince charming!!!

Something inside you told you this wasn't the last time you were meeting this prince charming.