#i am super happy at the details you're picking up here anon

[yuesya]

Mechamaru is a sad character, even though his anger at Shiki, to me, is honestly misplaced and more like self-loathing, envy, and commiseration.

It’s honestly sad what happens to Mechamaru because he did get the short end of the stick when it comes to Heavenly Restriction, didn’t he? He only wanted to have a healthy body, and in canon, he got it.

But what did it cost, really?

Because in the end, Mechamaru did in some way betray the jujutsu sorcerers. He can tell himself that he was desperate and he had the right to try and better his life when no one else cared to or was able to help him. He was in a shitty situation and tried fixing it first chance that presented it, but it doesn’t erase the fact that he betrayed his comrades. He indirectly (?)aided in the tragedy that happened by facitilating information to the curses, which HELPED Kenjaku’s plans, and he died for it. Here, he’s alive to suffer the consequences of ill-fated choices.

He wasn’t wrong to want it. He’s wrong because ultimately, his actions were an act of betrayal.

He feels remorse for his betrayal. He feels guilty. He feels angry at Shiki, because his gamble failed and here she stood as a shining bastion of a “perfect” life.

Though as seen in here, Shiki probably doesn’t give a single fuck about Mechamaru’s feelings. Only that his betrayal put the jujutsu society - and in turn, her family and friends - in jeopardy and that it went against the rules that Shiki was following ONLY because her family and friends wanted her too. Her moral and logic is pretty skewed, after all. Her first reaction to him being turned into a monster is to render him immobile VIA limbs breaking which honestly is NOT the first thing people do, but it’s admittedly in a twisted way the most optimal way to subdue transfigurated!Mechamaru.

TBH wrong is wrong. Betrayal is betrayal. Mechamaru isn’t an innocent victim who tried saving himself. How many more people would die and did die in the jujutsu world because he aided the curses? How many people died in Liyue because here the curses tried getting rid of Shiki?

Which brings me to another point: Whether it was voluntary or not, because of his betrayal which fed the curses informations and had Shiki hunting after them, Mechamaru ended up as a tool in the ambush against Shiki. Mahito tried using him as a shield, but unfortunately for him and the curses, Shiki’s reasoning is far too settled in pragmatic reasoning and logic to a certain point, after which she settled into brute force or death. She wouldn’t sacrifice herself for just Mechamaru, after all, nor be squirmish about breaking some limbs or killing some people.

Kinda shameless to be angry at the girl who you involuntarily aided in ambushing, no?

It’s just. The first time I read the short about Mechamaru (which was STILL amazing btw) I felt sorry for him.

The next few times I reread it though, I was like wait a minute, this doesn’t sound right, this guy is making Shiki to be the bad guy in interrogating him when he “just tried helping himself and he didn’t truly mean to betray the jujutsu society qwq!!!” because she has a perfect life but BITCH so many people just died LMFAOO Shiki here just doing her job and being hated, my poor girl (though she doesn’t care).

Mechamaru lost his gamble in using Mahito and turned into an even worse monster.

Likewise, the curses lost their gamble in trying to delete Shiki and were all basically wiped out in minutes lmao. They probably didn’t expect the Gojo Satoru Expy to actually be a Gojo Satoru 2.0 lol.

Shiki just doing her job, stuck in another world. :( And she had promised her cousin to make a detour to buy sweets, too rip. :(

(which brings me to another point i’m not gonna expand: Satoru and Shiki’s relationship? I LOVELOVELOVE IT!! The opposing powers they present! Satoru is not truly the sole “honored one”! Satoru has someone who somewhat understands the way he looks at the world! Who will stand by his decision and trust! Who’s willing to murder a bitch or a few for him! They’re two peas in a pod, sometimes HE has to be the moral compass for Shiki even! HIM! THE Gojo Satoru! A moral compass!!! 😂😂😂)

!! I am bouncing a bit in excitement from this haha.

Mechamaru! Is a very very unfortunate character. His attempt to outsmart Kenjaku and the Special Grade curses was not something that ended well for anyone. The information that he provided them allowed Kenjaku's faction to set up the test run at the Goodwill Event and break into the warehouse, stealing the Death Paintings and Sukuna's fingers. If we think about what happened in Shibuya, where Sukuna was able to cause as much devastation as he did because of ingesting the additional fingers... arguably Mechamaru played a definite role in allowing this situation to occur in the first place.

Mechamaru wants to be healed. He wants to have a normal body, and be a normal student of Kyoto High with his friends.

In exchange, he betrays the school -but he's not really betraying them, Mechamaru tells himself. Look, he's even been careful enough to extract a binding vow for his friends to be unharmed. And it's not as if he really intends to throw in his lot with Geto. As soon as he gets what he wants, he'll turn on them. Mechamaru doesn't need to kill them in order to win; all he needs to do is escape and find sanctuary with Gojo Satoru. And with the intel that he'll have in his hands, Gojo will definitely protect him. Then, they'll be able to counter their enemies properly from there-

We all know how that turns out in the end, though. The many casualties that result from Kenjaku's plans... Mechamaru might not be responsible, but he's certainly not blameless in allowing Kenjaku to set things into motion.

Mechamaru strikes me as a character who has a strong confidence and ego, which is balanced at the same time by a helpless sense of inferiority and anger. He knows that he's a powerful sorcerer, and he's the only sorcerer whose range covers an entire country -not even Gojo Satoru can do that! And Mechamaru is observant, and intelligent. He hates the limitations imposed upon him by his body, and he wants ever so badly to see for himself the world that he can only interact with through his puppets-

Shiki gets the brunt of that, in this particular AU.

Mechamaru lives. He lives, but he's angry and guilty and oh how he regrets, without truly regretting. Sorcerers are selfish creatures, and Mechamaru is no different.

Here Gojo Shiki stands in front of him, beautiful and powerful and perfect, looking down on him like Mechamaru means absolutely nothing. Given the turmoil that Mechamaru is currently experiencing... it's only natural that he lashes out at her.

(It's no excuse. But it is a reason.)

In contrast to Mechamaru's complicated feelings towards her, Shiki is fairly indifferent about him in return, despite his role as a lure in the 'ambush' for her. She simply protects him because she was assigned to retrieve Mechamaru for an interrogation. Shiki can't retrieve him if he's dead.

... So that just means she'll need to do her best to keep him alive, until she manages to find a way home.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

Haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're doing well! <3

Hey, nonnie - I'm doing alright. Personal ramble below the cut. Skip if you're just here for fanfic reading and don't care about my silly little melodrama.

Not going to go into too much detail, but I've been really feeling the depression lately. For context, I have clinical depression and take a really high dose of antidepressants, which fuck with other aspects of my life (i.e. weight and lack of sleep). Medical consensus is that I'll need medication for the rest of my life as my brain does not perform the appropriate mood-regulating functions (I'm not super sure what the specifics of this are). I've struggled with low feeling, demotivation, SI/SH etc. for nearly nine years now. I've slipped into a bit of an episode lately - not necessarily related to being online but Tumblr is a part of it - but I'm trying to work my way out of it by picking up some new-old hobbies, such as crochet, and doing things that I like and that don't stress me. I'm safe and don't have the opportunity to action any of my feelings, so please don't worry about me!

Unfortunately, Tumblr has been a source of stress for me since I've come on here. I've made some downright terrible choices in friends, in behaviour, in the amount of energy I commit to this space, and the only one who can really break this cycle is me. This site hosts a really wide range of personalities, and I just... feel like I've encountered some of the absolute worst among all of that, and it's done me absolutely no favours when it comes to making good choices. We all say that as adults, we should know better, but there's no sudden switch that flips, you know? We spend our whole lives making mistakes and learning from them. Adulthood isn't the abrupt entry into moral infallibility, and that's been something I've had to address and work through when it comes to my own failings.

To be perfectly honest, Tumblr isn't a supportive place. Or the people aren't. I don't really know which. To clarify, I do generally speak of the community of artists and writers in this, not the people here who just want to enjoy art or read someone's fanfic. I suppose there's a certain level of - I don't know - self-centredness? - when it comes to creating an online presence and sharing one's own creations on the internet. That mentality, I think, bleeds over into feelings of entitlement in creative communities. Entitlement to other people's time, to people's attention, to people's promotion, and when one doesn't get that, the problems start: (best to worst =) transactional interaction, badmouthing, hate anons, public bashing, and the list goes on. I've definitely been someone who has been upset by people's lack of interaction. I've responded with "oh, I'm not reblogging until they reblog mine" more than once. We all know that I've been involved with badmouthing and publicly bashing others. I continue to be very ashamed of this, and I am honest with myself about what I've done and how I got there in my journey working through my problems and making meaningful change in my life.

Anyway, point is - I'm trying to divorce myself from the entitlement, and I think to do that I need to divorce myself from the notion that we exist as a community. I've put far too much effort into that idea, and it's gotten me absolutely nowhere. There are more people who dislike me than not. Most just straight-up ignore me. I deserve it, sure, but (or maybe and) I have no intention of continuing to engage in a space that either doesn't exist or where I'm not wanted. I've felt anxious and upset at the mere thought of going on Tumblr the past few months. It hasn't been bringing me joy anymore, and that was the whole point of it. There's so much bad blood associated with being on here, but I love writing. I love this show. I can't give up something that makes me so happy in every respect other than this one site.

So I've taken some time off, reassessed the way I'm intending to use this space, and I've essentially decided that I started it for me so I'm going to do it for me. I'm going to interact with who I want and post what I want and damn absolutely everyone who tries to police me (of which there has been A LOT - apparently I have a "responsibility" to support others which I now know is actually code for "I'm jealous that you're getting any kind of attention online, so instead of addressing my issue with this, I'm going to vaguepost about/anon/DM you to try and guilt you into giving my work attention so that maybe it'll transfer to me").

For the casual peruser, no change at all. But I'm done giving my effort to the idea of 'community'. It doesn't exist, or I don't belong. I am going to do what makes me happy now, and only what makes me happy. That's the whole point. I'm sick of focusing on negatives. I'm sick of posting about them, to be honest. I think this mindset will do me good.

If you've gotten this far, I hope that it's okay that I've decided this. I'm feeling positive about it!

[beanxiv]

beanxiv's 100 follower bash ! ✩࿐

hi guys 🫶 so first and foremost, i wanna say thank you all for 100 followers <33 i love you all and im super grateful to all of you ! second, i wanna say i'm sorry for taking so long to do this, i was trying to figure out what kind of event i would do 😭 i ended up picking just a prompt list that you can request from, (the simplest thing ever ik💔) but i hope u guys like it !!

REQUESTS FOR THIS EVENT HAVE NOW CLOSED!

EVENT RULES ✩࿐

you can find all my posts for this event under the tag #beanxiv's bash!

obviously, my normal request rules still apply. (you can find them here.) if your request goes against my rules, i won't accept it.

i prefer if you request off of anon, so that i can tag you - but if you're still on anon it's okay.

speaking of tagging— if you want to be tagged in my work fill out this form!

i'll only do one character per request if its a scenario, but i can do up to 3 if they're headcanons.

you can ask for up to 2 prompts in your request.

you can make as many requests as you want though! just do it in separate asks please

specify the details of your request! (reader preference, any details about the request, genre– like if you want angst or fluff, etc)

also specify who you want to say the line-- for example if the prompt is "you make me happy," specify if you want the reader or character to say the line.

CHARACTERS ✩࿐

these are the characters i'll accept requests for-- if you request for a character not listed here, i won't accept your request.

my hero academia: bakugou katsuki, izuku midoriya, shoto todoroki, denki kaminari, kirishima eijirou, sero hanta, iida tenya, tamaki amajiki, keigo takami (hawks), touya todoroki (dabi)

obey me: lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, simeon, solomon, diavolo, barbatos

haikyuu: hinata shouyou, kageyama tobio, nishinoya yuu, sugawara koushi, kenma kozume, kuroo tetsurou, oikawa touro, iwaizumi hajime, bokuto kotaro, akaashi keiji, suna rintaro, atsumu miya, sakusa kiyoomi

blue lock: isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, kunigami rensuke, chigiri hyoma, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, shidou ryusei, reo mikage, nagi seishiro, otoya eita

jujutsu kaisen: gojo satoru, itadori yuuji, megumi fushiguro, inumaki toge

attack on titan: eren yeager, armin arlert, jean kirsten, connie springer, levi ackerman

heroes of olympus: percy jackson, leo valdez, will solace, connor stoll

shatter me: aaron warner, kenji kishimoto

demon slayer: tanjirou kamado, inosuke hashibara, zenitsu agatsuma, giyuu tomioka, obanai iguro, uzui tengen

twisted wonderland: riddle rosehearts, ace trapolla, deuce spade, cater diamond, leona kingscholar, ruggie bucchi, floyd leech, kalim al-assim, jamil viper, idia shroud, malleus draconia, silver

the spiderverse: miles morales, miguel o'hara, hobie brown

PROMPT LIST:

"i cant stop thinking about you... it's distracting.."

"are we really just friends?"

"sorry, you're just so cute when you're pissed."

"...i just realized how in love i am with you."

"i like listening to you talk."

"stay with me a little longer, please?"

"never say that about yourself when i know you deserve everything and more."

"you're so perfect."

"how could i ever say no to you when you look at me like that?"

"i made something for you."

"i miss you. so much."

"hey, why'd you stop? keep doing that, it feels good."

"don't leave me yet... please."

""is something burning??"

"i could die happy like this."

"i really want to kiss you right now."

"can't you see i'm trying?"

"i had a nightmare and i had to make sure you were still here."

"i'm yours. all yours."

"you drive me crazy."

"i'll kiss it better."

"let's spend forever together, okay?"

"you're taking up all of the blanket!"

"i'm scared, can you please hold my hand?"

"one more kiss, another, and another-- what? i can never get too many of your kisses."

"i'm going to marry you one day. i promise."

"you make me so happy."

"let's run away together."

"don't look at them, look at me."

"i'm a mess, but i'm your mess."

[kazuyummy]

going anon on this bcs am too shy to get off anon LOLL 😭 hope the request match ups are still open!

fandom: daiya no ace

matchup: awkward, responsible, warm, aloof

drabble / detail: 🍎 apple - hm, probably Different Lives by Fly by Midnight with a male daiya char, please. And genre's up to you! (okay, anything else but nsfw .. yeah ... ;;)

thank you if ever you do get to this! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

ehehe no worries, i'm happy you requested! the song you chose is like a movie soundtrack, gave me such good vibes 💫

i would match you up with KAMIYA CARLOS TOSHIKI. he gives me a carefree, teasing vibe that i think would complement your initial aloofness / potentially awkward first impression (that he would definitely think is cute more than anything), but also the warmth that follows after. you're both a bit enigmatic in that sense - an unexpected but surprisingly cohesive couple. i think where the two of you would have a bit more tension is where he's more laidback with responsibilities and you're, well - responsible! still, he'll teach you that sometimes it's okay to let things go, and you'll hold him accountable and help him grow as a person. he'd certainly admire you for all your intricacies.

bit of drabble below the cut! 💖

❀ NEVER KNEW (I'D BE THE ONE TO FIND YOU)

the first time you met kamiya carlos toshiki was outside the doors of inashiro industrial when he nearly ran you over - a speedy, sweaty bullet of a man, shirtless and shining under an unrelenting sun

he had winked at you with a, "sorry, sweetheart", and continued dashing off to wherever the hell he'd been going - cue eyeroll

after that, high school with him had been filled with some cheesy pick up lines on his end, inviting you to watch his baseball games, and interrupting your lunch in the caf with friends to yell a hello at you

it's not that you ever particularly disliked him - you just didn't know how to respond to such forwardness and decided to keep your distance from that cocky smirk. he was certainly a kind person, if not a bit perplexing at times

he'd had a reputation of being a bit of a playboy - with that smoulder, admittedly nice body, and outgoing personality, it wasn't a secret that he was well-liked among the school population

so when you end up recognizing him years later - behind the hoodie and sunglasses he sports as he stands in line for his coffee in front of you, you can't help but whisper-yell, "carlos?"

he tenses up, and you realize your mistake - after becoming a pro player in japan, he's definitely trying to stay on the down low

but when he turns around with a nervous grin, it slowly melts into a bright one and he calls out your name as if it's refreshing and familiar all in the same - like a spring breeze after a cold winter

you actually expected him to be the type to revel in all the attention, and you're sure he has his share of fangirls - but when he asks you a specific question on a project you've been working on only known to people on your socials, your interest is piqued - had he really been keeping up with you this whole time?

he has an air of maturity to him now, you note, as you fetch your drinks and begin walking outside. you expected some sort of line from him like, "it was always you", but the conversation flows naturally and effortlessly

"hey, listen. i have an interview to get to, but... can we do this again next time? like, longer? i know a good sushi place."

"like, a date?" you blurt out, and you see the always-confident carlos smile bashfully with a small nod.

something in your heart skips, telling you to take a leap. and you love the excited light in his eyes before he dashes away again when you smile,

"... i'd like that, carlos."

i feel like "meeting up with an old friend into possibly something more" was the vibe i got from the song, so i just went with it ehehe. also carlos is super underrated and tbh i'm jealous i gave him to you here LOL. hope you enjoyed!

read completed matchups here 💫

[thesoftrainbows]

You're one of the first people I've seen who write a HP rewrite with an Indian James Potter and specify where he's from in India. You said you headcanon him from Gujarat. I'm Gujarati and am interested in knowing why you headcanon him as so and if you have any specific headcanons

Hi Anon,

It’s such a shame that there’s not many people writing James Potter as Indian, I believe it opens the door to so many wholesome opportunities. However, I’m happy to be one of the few.

There’s no real reason why I headcanon him as Gujarati. I was sleep-deprived and already overwhelmed because I was studying like 5 different cultures, disabilities, and religions when I decided that I wanted James to be Indian. I think I just googled a map of Indian and blindly picked a place — which was Gujarat — and decided to do research on it to see if it fit my metal image of him. As I learned more and more about Gujarat, though, I fell in love and made it a permanent fact for my James.

I can’t, for the life of me, find the document on the Potter history I know I made. It’s been a while since I last touched it because I’ve been focusing a lot of disabilities as of late. But here are some headcanons I’ve developed, they might be vague or not specific to Gujarat. I’ll make another post once I find my doc.

JAMES POTTER HEADCANONS.

Fleamont Potter’s birth name was Pavalan Kashyap.

Euphemia Potter’s birth name was Thanya Gill.

They moved to England when Thanya was around six months pregnant due to a dangerous war happening all over India where hybrids (such as werewolves, harpies, fauns, centaurs, etc.) rebel against the Ministry as an attempt to get equal rights. Pavalan was afraid that the stress as well as the physical danger of the war would cause another miscarriage, so he contacted a former mentor (Giri Amin) to help him leave the country with his wife.

It was through Giri that they met Albus Dumbledore, who provided them with new identities (Fleamont and Euphemia Potter) as well as money and a home where they could live. They were now forever indebted to Dumbledore.

Their son was born, and they named him James Pavalan Potter — his official birth name — but they called him Jigishu (which was the name they had originally wanted to give him) at home because they wanted to raised their son to be in touch with his roots.

That didn’t go as planned, though. The racism against Indian people in England was strong. And poor James grew up surrounded by white kids who made fun of him for the way he smelled, his food, his skin color, etc. It grew to the point where James rejected his Indian side. It broke his parents’ hearts.

Throughout James’s school years at Hogwarts, James was always dealing with the constant need for approval. He needed to prove that he was equal to his white classmates.

It’s not until his 6th or 7th year that he finally accepts himself completely, and attempts to learn as much as he can about his culture and about his parents’ lives back home and such.

The rest of the Marauders & Co. were also thrilled to be included in the journey of learning about Gujarat, India.

When Lily and James marry, they have a big wedding, highly influenced by Gujarati traditions.

When Lily and James have their child, they name him Hari Pavalan Potter.

Hari, because it’s one of the names Vishnu used when he came to earth to restore the balance of the world. Pavalan, to keep his own father’s name in the family.

Those are the headcanons that come to mind at the moment. I apologize if it’s messy, it’s super late here and I’ve got a long day tomorrow. I’m gonna make a better post with my headcanons more organized and detailed.

Either way, thank you, Anon, for the message. If you’d like to help me out a bit, I’d really appreciate it!

[seelestia]

HI HI NEW WRITING MOOTS <3 <3

o gosh heizou would have immediately found me out lol oh i see you!! helloooo <3

aaaa thank you ;w; hehe i’m a lil proud of the voicelines thingy! i just posted the full thing today and i might want to do it for the other series too maybe in the future! the code itself is nothing too complicated actually, just basic HTML / CSS / JS!! given time and the knowledge anyone can do it haha hnggg i’m glad the lore was interesting i was nervous it would be too cliche or boring lol

he’s a very fine gentleman ok give him the appreciation he deserves /j aww that does sound adorable!! and slkdjfsljdf pls you’re making me blush 🙈 yup yup!! i am just here to have fun and i shall remember to do what makes me happy <3

will albedo succeeds in wooing you?? or will susbedo realize that he has fallen in love with you??? or will you decide to ditch the two ‘bedos and look for a more suitable partner like zhongli??? we may never know….

👀 wdym lia come on now i merely chose that intermission from my collections of intermissions… zhongli being picked is just a coincidence… and i definitely haven’t been spending time at all with mr. zhongli, no no….

…. ok look i mean now that i’m off anon and you’re free to explore my account, you probably know about my… ahem… affection…. towards a certain refined, gorgeous, voice-like-velvet-eyes-of-molten-lava-drop-dead-gorgeous man…. sooo…. i’m just gonna to simp openly in your askbox now hope you don’t mind 🤭 /lh

wdym when YOUR brain is just as big, if not bigger than mine??? look at all your ✨amazing✨work!!! so beautifully written, exquisite storytelling and description 💯💯💯 i love your work sm too <3 <3 <3 hehe hope you enjoy binging the masterlist!!

you're right, it doesn’t ;w; i love xiao’s playstyle so much, it’s just so high-paced and gets me super engaged, so yeah definitely recommend to pull him next if you can!! and omgggg 15 pity kazuha…. i lost 50/50 to qiqi at 77 pity and kazuha only came home at 66…. at least xiao was kind and came home at 43 pity last time (altho i lost 50/50 to jean first slkdjflksjdflkjsdf). i wanted klee too but… kazuha ran me dry… super glad i stubbornly persisted tho, his synergy with xiao is really good!!

funny you ask that cause i’m saving up for hubby’s next banner :D but also…. same!! al haitham looks interesting ;)) and i heard from my friend that dori will have an ‘adorable’ kind of gameplay (kinda like klee), so she’s on my radar too!

hello, rin !! >:) ah yes, heizou and his dearest sidekick named, "intuition". 🔍 hehe, me and my emo albedo theme says hi too~

yeah, let's leave the 2bedo's in dragonspine and go search for that one fine man in liyue harbor FJDWKKDK ignore the teleport waypoints, the journey by foot will be worth it <3 (/j)

AS YOU SHOULD???? IT'S SO COOL I'M FLABBERGASTED??? the live version makes me float to cloud nine, aaaa. the way zhongli talks about his spouse so reminiscently and lovingly + the graphics >>>. oh my goodness, they help sm with the immersion !! you've outdone yourself, rin !! even if it's a simple thing in your eyes, i still think you did an amazing job ;D

[ talks about unreleased sumeru characters under the cut !! ]

if i ever create a genshin oc and want to make a cool edit for them, i'll definitely ask you for help! (/hj) rin best editor in my eyes <3

rin, it's either you've specifically typed his name when you're searching for that intermission or you've already used that gif before, hmm. 👀 either way, you seem quite smitten with him and by all means, do as you please. walk side by side through the streets of liyue, share a few stories and knowledge, have a meal and some drinks, be merry with him! ꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱

THE DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS, HELP. yes, i can feel your affections from a mile away and who am i to go against your wishes? >:) you'd do this for me if i word-vomit about heizou or that one fancy commissioner too 🤝 (/lh)

you're the best at coming up with ideas while i excel better in elaborating them a teeny tiny bit, so i'd say i am naught if i don't have my partner in crime to release plot bunnies with me !! and ofc, i will! your works are a jar of expensive candied petals to me like they are so simple yet so eloquent fjwkkdksk love em <3

mhm, xiao's playstyle really said "you better focus here." because i remembered being taken aback because his e skill is SO QUICK and as a kazuha main back then, the lack of having to hold the e skill shocks me. (/j)

your struggles to get kazuha... he saw you with zhongli and left the chat. (/j) i'm glad he has come home for you tho! zuha is super fun to play + the less cooldown bonus with double anemo on your team !! and about qiqi... hmm, let her be the unofficial adoptive daughter of zhongli and his spouse 👀 fun fact: qiqi is the only standard chara i don't have! my c1 mona is staring at me menacingly as we speak.

your hubby's shield is on another level, i think i might try my luck with him??? if i win the 50/50, that'd be cool but if i lose, then it means guaranteed al-haitham >:) OOO, DORI !! i saw her gameplay's leaks and she's so cute??? a little merchant on a squishy creature swinging a claymore <3 once upon a time when my klee used to have lost prayers as her weapon before i gave it to heizou jfkekdksk she says hi with her dodoco tales!

[tuiyla]

The internal conflict of 4x20 being a really problematic episode as a whole but also it having some of my favorite Santana and Kitty content in the entire show

The NY plotline was surprisingly solid and fleshed out Santana a lot, which was needed, and while there was no follow up, it’s still great to see. The small details about her doing ballet, and how genuinely passionate she looks is so amazing.

The Lima plotline is notoriously problematic, but what it adds to Kitty is so important. Obviously there are no excuses for Kitty’s past actions, but knowing that there is depth to her is crucial to why she manages to be likable.

While I hate rewatching 4x20, the character content we received was so important to me.

Ah a fellow Santana and Kitty lover, an Anon of taste 😌

I weep for the wasted potential of Santana’s 4x20 Lights Out storyline, at least in how it’s not picked up afterward. But this is a general issue I have with how what Santana builds in seasons 4 and 5 doesn’t get a proper conclusion. I agree Anon, it’s a solid ep for her, good Kurtcheltana content, good character moments. I think I feel less happy about it in retrospect because of the aforementioned lack of follow-up but on its own it’s still strong. At the Ballet is incredibly underrated imo. @amazonworrier and I were having some feels about it a while back.

I'm not sure I know exactly what you're referring to by "problematic" so if you wanna, I'd be interested in hearing that elaboration. I really do appreciate this thought so don't get me wrong, I've just grown a bit allergic to the general use of the word "problematic" and am a bit skeptical when it's not detailed what it means. This against you Anon, just a thing I noticed in the fandom that when we dismiss things with "well that's problematic" and use that word as a be all end all it kinda kills meaningful discussion.

I'm sorry, nitpicking because I have a knee-jerk reaction to the word aside haha I can only assume you mostly mean the Ryder plot? It’s a discussion I’ve seen often, how wrong both Artie and Sam were. I don’t want to hijack this post with that so suffice to say, yes they were, and yes the framing does say they’re wrong but it’s also super weird. I suppose that’s the Problematic nature of it; not that Bad Thing happened and people reacted Badly, but that they were barely directly called out, not disputed, and Ryder never got closure with them. I honestly would have loved a scene of Kitty giving the two boys a piece of her mind but from the way Becca acted that scene, I don’t think she was in the space of mind to do so. Very messy Glee, very messy.

But, when it comes to Kitty! I love the Kitty content so so much. I think even the subtle things in the episode add just so much to her character. And I don’t want it to come across as “oh evil person has a tragic backstory now” because I think Glee actually manages to avoid that and it’s not just through this that they humanize Kitty and give her a character beyond She Was Horrible Terrible The Worst to Marley For a While. In fact, my problem with the Kitty plot is the same I have with the Santana one. It feels very much as if it exists in a vacuum, even more so than Santana’s career plot that at least spans a few seasons here and there. Kitty’s trauma (or Ryder’s) is never brought up again. So while I appreciate her softening wasn’t entirely built on that because that would have been, just, bad, it does bother me that it turns Lights Out very much into an Issue Episode that need not be mentioned again. Because who needs continuity when you can say you’ve covered every topic under the sun.

That aside, if I ever finish the cursed Kitty mega essay I’ve been working for a literal year now, her 4x20 plot will be a big part of it. Like you say, her backstory of course doesn’t excuse anything but it does give her more depth and makes this ep a good one for her character. I’ve kinda touched on it and her convo with Ryder here.

Anyway if you have more thoughts on the episode or these storylines I’d love to hear them! Santana and Kitty, truly couldn’t ask for a discussion I’d be more interested in haha.

[jooheongif]

hello,theory anon here! happy to see you're ok!please don't apologize for not replying instantly,any amount of time it takes is fine!i also don't reply instantly bc sometimes i feel like it takes more energy than i have and i don't want to be lacking anything when i answer or not be able to properly think my answer through. i sometimes don't feel like i can't express myself well and trying to drains me sorta so i wanna be sure i can give it my all.. the point(!) is i get it and you don't (1/?)

(i’m sorry my reply is so long again i hope it’s ok if i write it under this read more cut !!)

struggle w/ it myself and it means a lot to see you pushing through it,you're really..wow! i read this and it gave me strength, your honesty is appreciated and not something to apologize for so thank you!and you're right!every single mbb is important and it's really great everyone's doing their best and it's cheesy but it's true that any amount of love someone can give is enough. i remember ck's fansign note when a fan said they felt guilty for not having $$ for an album and he wrote: (3/??)„love>money. I love u“ and :''') he's right! about their schedule..honestly it's motivating and inspiring for me but also i just want them to be healthy,it's really the most important thing and i worry they'll forget because even just me looking at a bit of their schedule is hectic so i can't imagine all they're doing,i can only hope they're taking good care! and pls!you're so incredibly sweet!i'm happy i didn't bore you and i'm so happy to see you replying (thank you and also pls remember (4/?)aware of the fact that you do this!brighten someone's day&give them strength!this is a mere fraction of what you do and that's so amazing!! you're amazing and i hope you know!you deserve all the gratitude i can express and honestly probably more,i'm so lucky and happy to have come across someone w/ such a beautiful heart and i'm also super glad you're here!!!!sorry for being cheesy and repetitive but it really means a lot:') anyway you're right about jealousy the more attention i pay to(5?6?/??)(6?7/?) detail the more i like it!and as for my fav mx song..:((( i love practically their entire discography and i wish i was exaggerating..if,however,someone was to hold a sword to my chest,i'd probably say miss you/tropical night/honestly/all in/unfair love/ill be there (me trying to narrow it down: so here's my top 100!:)) anyway yeah i agree any form of art is subjective and you did not sound stale it was very well said actually! also i've finally properly checked out each song and lost in(10/10?sorry this takes up a lot of time!!!) so i can only sympathize but! it's great you go for friendship!!! anyone you're friends w/ is incredibly lucky to have you!! and,to finally end my probably longest message ever (:// + you don't have to reply!),thank you for asking i'm kind of low on energy recently but rn i'm feeling better and you played a part honestly so thanks! again!💙💙 how are YOU?? i hope you're taking good care and doing ok and not forgetting to hydrate and eat greens💙💙💙💙

hi theory anon, i hope you are doing well !! big apologies for the late reply once again (i know you said not to apologise for this but...i'm sorry !!) i know what you mean abt wanting to reply properly so pls don't feel obliged to reply straight away. even if you take months to answer, i don't mind. take all the time you need. i'm also like this ! sometimes it takes me so long to respond bc i always want to write a reply that someone deserves. but also, we're all just human and we can't be at our best self 24/7 365. and communication, though we engage in it (almost) every day, is a super duper complex process between you and one or more people. and even though you try your absolute best to communicate whatever you're trying to express, it also depends on how the person(s) you are communicating with interprets that. and no matter what you do, you only have control over your part of communication and no control over anyone's reaction to that. anyway (i'll should prob stop here before i ramble on again), what i'm trying to say is that...sometimes it's just rly hard to reply so please don't be too harsh on yourself if you can't reply perfectly all the time (i'll try to be kinder to myself too). aww i.m is too sweet !! we don't deserve :-( mx are rly out there being so lovely :-( i'm rly happy that everyone's efforts came through and that jealousy won !!!! i'm so proud of them !!! and they looked so happy during their encore stage !! i hope they celebrated together afterwards !!! i hope they had a nice meal or smth ! kldfjksldfj i'm also being completely biased here but i don't think you're exaggerating i think they hav one of the most solid discographies tbh !!! and not to be a mbb but i never skip any of their songs bc i like all of them ! god ! how can i even ask a question to pick a fav song just like that when picking a fav song is unrealistic when it comes discography legends like monsta x ! again, you are too sweet and kind and i'm sorry bc i can rly think of nothing better to say other than thank you :-( ?? i can't believe that someone out there was kind enough to send this to me ??? i'm rly just dust but thank you for thinking abt me !!!! it's a nice feeling :( please don't apologise for being cheesy or repetitive !! the fact that you took the time out of your busy day to write out all of that for someone, i am so thankful :-( i feel like i'm undeserving of such a nice msg with so much thought and love put into it dfldkf thank you so much !!! more than me, you're the one who deserves all the kindness !! i hope you know that you're someone's strength and happiness too :-( you write all these lovely things to a stranger like me, but i also hope you know that you have so much kind and good qualities abt yourself too !! thank you for being you !! i think that anyone YOU are friends with is incredibly lucky to know you !!! thank you so much for making an irrelevant stranger like me feel so warm and loved ? i'm so sorry that you're feeling low on energy lately. i wish there was smth i can do to make you feel a little better. i hope that things will look up soon for you and i hope you're getting some rest :-( i hope you eat your greens and drink lots of water and get a good night’s sleep too. take all the time you need to reply or feel free not to reply at all. thank you so much for the messages !! until next time my friend, take care ❤️❤️

[youre-on-a-starship]

So I'm new to Star Trek, and I've seen the 3 new movies, and read a lot of your fics (mostly Bones tbh). How tf do you get so much detail about their lives and rooms and everything?? Like, am I not picking up on stuff? I wanna write some fanfics eventually, but I have no idea where you're getting such great, and in depth info from.

Hi Anon! I’m super flattered at your ask, I can’t even begin to say ^^ First off, welcome to Star Trek!

I’ve been watching Star Trek for the last 16 years, on and off, mostly ST Voyager, so I’ve seen a lot of the inside of a Starship and how people interact on it. 

There is sparse furniture and everything is spotless. They’ve got to have enough to survive, especially if they’re living on the ship for 5 years. So you’ve got a bed, a table for working/eating, a small sitting area (so just a couch or loveseat), a closet, and a full bathroom. They generally don’t seem to have a lot of their possessions with them in space, so they’ll decorate their rooms with what they have. Captain’s quarters are always larger. Generally, this seems to mean more couches. Not sure why, but that’s what I’ve observed.

As to the ship itself, there are several aspects that we’ve got to take for granted: the bridge, the cargo bay, sickbay, the engine room, the warp core. AOS is the only ST I’ve seen that doesn’t explicitly have a ready room, so I’m assuming for the purposes of my writing that we just haven’t seen it. Because of the nature of the ship, and from what I’ve seen of TOS, I’ve assumed a few other spaces for the ship: board rooms, labs, storage facilities/compartments, etc.

Now the beauty of the thing is getting the characters down, and I’m so glad you asked about this. There are very few things that I’ve seen people do for fun on starships aside from playing 3D chess, reading, and using the holodeck. As holodecks weren’t incorporated into starships until the early 24th century, the Enterprise doesn’t have one, so I’ve got to come up with something for them to do. You’ll notice the more of my stuff you read, pretty much everyone plays chess and reads. I picked up a few details from TOS as well, but not much as I haven’t watched a lot of it.

I’ll talk a bit about Bones particularly since you said you like reading his stories. All I know about Bones is this: in TOS he has an ex-wife named Jocelyn and a daughter named Joanna, he’s a doctor, and he’s fond of Scotch and metaphors. Everything else that’s come through in my work about him has been personality based. He’s super grumpy (as we all know), but he cares. He’s incredibly intelligent. And by virtue of being a doctor, he’s likely under incredible stress and has to suffer from some sort of manifestation of that sometimes.

With this, I write him how I imagine him actually being in certain situations. This is a lot of imagination at work. I know generally how people react to certain things and I need to make these characters human before I can write them as characters. I create their humanity using the baseline emotions we’re given on screen. Once I get to know them in my head, I know how they’ll act and how they’ll speak. Then I start writing, and the characters already know what they’re doing, because I’ve given them life in my head.

If you’re thinking about starting to write fanfics I’d recommend starting off by just letting your imagination run wild. What kinds of situations can you put the characters in that give them the most life for you? You have to see them interacting off script to see what they’re like. Reading other fanfics is great for this, too. Once you’ve got that down and want to write particulars, try Memory Alpha, the best resource for everything Trek. I refer to this site a lot for Spock because I’m a little shaky on Vulcan physiology and customs. How did I know when holodecks were invented? This site right here. Everything else you’ve got to make up, essentially.

Writing is a beautiful mashup of imaginative, verbal, and research abilities. I really like doing research because it can be anything from looking up engineering specs to finding pictures of Anton Yelchin without a shirt on, like I had to that one time. I like using my imagination because I don’t like real life and my brainscape is so much more fun to explore. And the actual act of stringing words together on paper is what I’m good at.

That’s basically how I do it. Thank you so much for your fantastic ask; I had a lot of fun thinking about this! If you do start to write after all, I’d be happy to read your work!

Lots of love