#i am so unwell yall

[inventedfangirling]

What scene/dialogue in bad buddy absolutely devastated you (but in the larger context of the episode and the show got ignored cos we had bigger traumas to unpack) and why for me was it this scene when Pat asks Pran when he's going to get the documents from LogTech and then proceeding to say that he wants to go visit the musical instrument shop?

I cant believe i didnt properly process it earlier but Pat really asked him to go to the musical instrument shop.

Not because he wants to visit the shop but because he cant take one more second of being apart from Pran and whatever this awkward almost hostile distance that Pran had put between them. The fact that he was trying to say that casually, as if all was as "normal" as it was pre rooftop kiss, when he was feeling anything but casual on the inside, his heart being on the bottom of the feelings-roller-coaster he had on been ever since that moment in the instrument shop when it finally hit him, what he had been oblivious to all along, that Pran was there, and that Pat missed him even while he was standing right in front of him and that somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with him without even knowing.

Just look at him. He's so so so in love it physically hurts ME ( an independent (NOT) unbaised (NOT) observer).

And so now he tries to inject a sense of normality and familiarity into this gap in their relationship by asking Pran to accompany him to the instrument store, do what they have done a bunch of times already but this time maybe even in hopes of telling him what he had felt the last time they were there together??!? Do you realize how devastating that is??

Watching Pat ask that with trepidation, for the first time, well and truly unsure of what is or isnt allowed to him in his dynamic with Pran and knowing (in hindsight) Pran's plan of cutting him off at least temporaririly and knowing Pat's efforts wont be reciprocated (for at least a while more) just hurts so bad i almost couldnt believe it didnt strike me the first 5 times i watched the episode.

It's literally just 10 seconds and probably one of the most un-remarkable moments in the entire episode if not show and yet i am so so so deeply shattered by it.

Is that just me being unwell or did you tear up too...? Feel free to add more devastation i really do wanna know if ive missed any more small but not insignificant moments like these.

[hobermallowed]

it’s missing them hours

[freckliedan]

do you guys ever think about how dan almost came out to his family at christmas in 2018. that makes me so much more unwell over him visiting the lesters beforehand. he needed a reminder that even if it went poorly he still had a family.

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 231

doomed timeline

u ever think about how literally every single one of the thousands of aradias that traveled back to fight in the trolls' boss battle was from a doomed timeline where she had to a) watch all her friends die b) process that she was also doomed and c) then power through all that to do a bunch of time travel detective work so that she could advise the alpha iterations of her friends on how to avoid splitting into that doomed timeline in the first place? before traveling to a battle she knew she wouldn't make it out of?

yeah man

[breadball]

"In a night of silence I'm settled by your sounds In a dream of quiet Contentedness surrounds ...

Delightfully exhausted Willingly this way Always yours, always yours I'll stay With you, my muse"

-My Muse by Sarah Jarosz

[tiringwritings]

the urge to lick my phone screen

[lifemod17]

Bugs mention AND Like Real People Do?? So important to me!!!

🎥: _alyssayung_ | tiktok

Kia Forum night 2 || 09/18/2024

[hurglewurm]

me: we are Not going to worsen our life while in a minor depressive episode

the brain: :/

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

[dorian-kaffas-pavus]

When you're a Dorian lover and a Lucanis lover playing Veilguard

[bxsmxx]

card declined at therapy so they reminded me how jEAN KISSES THE HAND THAT HELD MARCO'S ASHES BEFORE BATTLE

[sugucidal]

oh they look so happy, i sure hope no one traumatizes them causing a chain reaction of unfortunate events

[mae-i-scribble]

Spoilers up to orv chapter 515 below: So in one of my random rereads of the orv manwha (that originally started out for fic research but i ended up going through the entire disaster of floods arc) I noted the use of disconnected film theory between the 41st round Yoosung and current round Yoosung and the striking similarities it shares with the film theory that unravels around Dokja and the Oldest Dream. Both are between the younger self and the older, more jaded self. Both end with one self trying to deny the existence of the other, of the other worldline they represent. To both the Oldest Dream and to Yoosung(at first), their older self is a monster, something so terrible that it must be defeated or rejected.

Except there are differences too. 41st round Yoosung denies the memories of current Yoosung, she rejects Dokja, because she can't bring herself to believe in her own happiness. She can't find a way to justify it after all she suffered for, all she endured for. Current Yoosung doesn't directly reject her other self, rather she feels empathy and pity for 41st round Yoosung, now aware of all the pain she went through. In turn, 41st round Yoosung never intended to kill her younger self- she wants to live after all. However, the rejection between Dokja and the Oldest Dream is mutual, the same way Oldest Dream sees Dokja as a monster, so too does Dokja see Oldest Dream as one; not just any monster, the most terrible and pathetic thing in this universe. Oldest Dream wants to reject the existence of a version of himself that grew up well enough to become a 'character' while Dokja wants to reject his very existence in all aspects.

While the theory between the Yoosung's plays out as overlapping text, each of their memories playing concurrently, the film theory between the Dokja's is a conversation. Dokja says "I know you better than anyone else in this world," while the Oldest Dream is terrified of him. Personally I read Dokja's words with a bleak gentleness; he knows of every abuse, every terrible day the Oldest Dream has endured, he hates what it made them into, what their love brought upon the universe, but Dokja knows the Oldest Dream's agony so intimately.

“I’m not trying to torment you.” ⸢I want to run away.⸥ “I know. ⸢But, where to?⸥ The child’s story was transmitted to me, while mine also was transmitted to him.

Dokja is the one who offers a hand to 41st round Yoosung, he gives her a place to run to when she's confronted with current Yoosung's memories and what they mean to her. Current Yoosung is quiet during this scene, neither opposed nor able to speak up in defense of her older self, but Dokja does not push her to answer, aware of the cruelty of such a thing. The Oldest Dream does not get the same mercy. He wants to run and Dokja asks him where too, because Dokja believes there is no one who will accept the Oldest Dream, that there is nothing that can be done because what he and the Oldest Dream have done is unforgivable. And in that lies another difference, when current Yoosung looks at 41st Yoosung, yes, she can see herself in the older woman. Ultimately though, the two are so vastly different that while they share the same soul, it's difficult to see the way in which current Yoosung could become the 41st Yoosung. To Dokja, however? The Oldest Dream is him. Because he's looking at a younger version of himself, not an older one, all he can see is that they are exactly the same. They still love the same story. They still drive everyone around them into misery. He can only see himself in the worst way possible because to Dokja, nothing about him has truly changed. And so he has to die so that his companions can live on.

But that brings us around to the parallels between these two events once more: Yoo Joonghyuk is the one to break through the "other" self's barriers. Yoo Joonghyuk is the one who speaks to 41st Yoosung and breaks down her reservations, her resentment, by honestly explaining how he lived as a regressor and pointing out how they lived the same way. And it is Secretive Plotter who is able to cut through the barrier the Oldest Dream put around himself, and is able to see the true origin of this dream, of this child's suffering. Secretive Plotter is the one to say aloud that while he had thought of killing himself often, there was one being who had ensured he never gave up. He and the Oldest Dream had lived the same way.

And of course, the paths diverge here once more, but really, it does kind of make perfect sense for Dokja to be Yoosung's sponsor, doesn't it?

[squeakadeeks]

moodboard for this past week ❤️

[toadboatt]

I want to take out my heart

Rip it out of my chest and lay it on a table for display

See me.

Feel my emotions, hear the pumping, the thumping, the beating of my heart.

Watch me

It'll bleed out onto the table

The red dancing and painting my memories, my thoughts

Beautifully dark pictures of my life, my very essence

Exposed to the world

Painted out on the table

The floor

And the bottom of your shoe.

[1-800-i-ship-it]

scooby dooby blu where are you

im in link click and orv hell xD

about to visit arcane hell soon...

where are you 👀