#i am so unwell yall
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What scene/dialogue in bad buddy absolutely devastated you (but in the larger context of the episode and the show got ignored cos we had bigger traumas to unpack) and why for me was it this scene when Pat asks Pran when he's going to get the documents from LogTech and then proceeding to say that he wants to go visit the musical instrument shop?
I cant believe i didnt properly process it earlier but Pat really asked him to go to the musical instrument shop.
Not because he wants to visit the shop but because he cant take one more second of being apart from Pran and whatever this awkward almost hostile distance that Pran had put between them. The fact that he was trying to say that casually, as if all was as "normal" as it was pre rooftop kiss, when he was feeling anything but casual on the inside, his heart being on the bottom of the feelings-roller-coaster he had on been ever since that moment in the instrument shop when it finally hit him, what he had been oblivious to all along, that Pran was there, and that Pat missed him even while he was standing right in front of him and that somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with him without even knowing.
Just look at him. He's so so so in love it physically hurts ME ( an independent (NOT) unbaised (NOT) observer).
And so now he tries to inject a sense of normality and familiarity into this gap in their relationship by asking Pran to accompany him to the instrument store, do what they have done a bunch of times already but this time maybe even in hopes of telling him what he had felt the last time they were there together??!? Do you realize how devastating that is??
Watching Pat ask that with trepidation, for the first time, well and truly unsure of what is or isnt allowed to him in his dynamic with Pran and knowing (in hindsight) Pran's plan of cutting him off at least temporaririly and knowing Pat's efforts wont be reciprocated (for at least a while more) just hurts so bad i almost couldnt believe it didnt strike me the first 5 times i watched the episode.
It's literally just 10 seconds and probably one of the most un-remarkable moments in the entire episode if not show and yet i am so so so deeply shattered by it.
Is that just me being unwell or did you tear up too...? Feel free to add more devastation i really do wanna know if ive missed any more small but not insignificant moments like these.
#bad buddy#pat napat#pat napat jindapat#bad buddy brain rot#bad buddy meta#i am unwell#episode 6 pat hurts on a stratospheric level#just like episode 4 pran lets not get started on that#i am so unwell yall#okay bye
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it’s missing them hours
#it’s never not missing them hours tbh#i am so unwell#yall don’t understand#i miss them so much#it’s not fair. it was never fair.#thinking about them makes me ache#interview with the vampire#claudia#madeleine#madeleine eparvier#claudia eparvier#claudeleine#iwtv spoilers#text post meme
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do you guys ever think about how dan almost came out to his family at christmas in 2018. that makes me so much more unwell over him visiting the lesters beforehand. he needed a reminder that even if it went poorly he still had a family.
#do you think kath calls him her youngest. yall i am so unwell about it#jam posts#phan#dan howell#danisnotonfire#dan and phil
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day 231
doomed timeline
u ever think about how literally every single one of the thousands of aradias that traveled back to fight in the trolls' boss battle was from a doomed timeline where she had to a) watch all her friends die b) process that she was also doomed and c) then power through all that to do a bunch of time travel detective work so that she could advise the alpha iterations of her friends on how to avoid splitting into that doomed timeline in the first place? before traveling to a battle she knew she wouldn't make it out of?
yeah man
#day 231#year 5#aradia megido#homestuck#AradiaAugust#and then of course there's alpha tl aradia#who didnt have to witness all of that#but probably did have to hear from a lot of those doomed aradias#like just going about her day when another version of herself appears and says 'hey i just witnessed (insert fucked up timeline end here)'#'and i need you to tell so and so to not do xyz so that everyone we care about doesnt die'#just like alt selves popping in on the reg to warn her about all these existential threats before dying themselves#YEAH MAN.....#fuckin Woof#like no shade to davesprite fans love yall but also imagine all the angst that has ever been written about davesprite's grief#and then multiply it by many thousands#you gotta understand. i am unwell about her.
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"In a night of silence I'm settled by your sounds In a dream of quiet Contentedness surrounds ...
Delightfully exhausted Willingly this way Always yours, always yours I'll stay With you, my muse"
-My Muse by Sarah Jarosz
#jel/reth#jel x reth#palia#palia reth#jel omiata#HAPPY VALENTINES DAY YALL!!#THIS PIECE TOOK ME SO LONG#but I had it done unintentionally in time for the holiday#I’m very much pleased with how it turned out tbh#I am unwell about these dumb gay boys#s6 plz let me play match maker I’m dying
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Bugs mention AND Like Real People Do?? So important to me!!!
Kia Forum night 2 || 09/18/2024
#Andrew is a BUGTUAL CONFIRMED?!#i mean we knew that with his bees but i mean he acknowledges other bugs haha.#and the fact that Bea and Brry mentioned this was so very sweet yall i am still unwell#to be loved is to be known#so important to me!!#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#crowd work#like real people do#unreal unearth tour#kia forum#kia forum night 2#if we were both worms would you kiss me like real people do? 👉👈
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me: we are Not going to worsen our life while in a minor depressive episode
the brain: :/
#two things i will now overshare about in the tags:#the number and severity of symptoms i am exhibiting that indicate uhhhhhh#an anxiety disorder that i Don't have. don't want to have please. i fear this.#anyway I'm getting outnumbered. but i am still convinced I'm making it up so anyway#2. bro when u catch a glimpse of ur friends on social media#and the lives they're living and their successes and accomplishments#and ur like damn. yall living out here ?#(and also like. damn. yall feel like u deserve to celebrate yourselves?)#(yall don't feel like a horrible dessicated corpse most of the time emotionally?)#yall is not part of my vernacular i feel the need to say this#hurgle says things#2024 was supposed to be my mentally well year. who the fuck is this#like my depression we are chill i know her. we talk we discuss. we're okay#this new beast though who has been festering in here. i want her to move out............#but i think she might have already set up all her furniture...... and I'm hiding in my room#do u get my metaphors#anyway I'm fine bc I'm used to living like this but i am. unwell.
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“Let me ask you something ...” BETWEEN US (2022) - Episode 2.
#between us#teamwin#asianlgbtqdramas#asiandramasource#*#faiza gifs#HELLO I AM UNWELL. I AM UNWELL!!! I KNEW THIS SHOW WAS GONNA GO HARD#BUT THIS HARD???? OH GOD.#yall im gonna spend the rest of this week giffing this ep i wanna take my time and gif it so that the wait for ep 3 doesnt feel so long#BUT OH MY GOD. BOUNPREM? OUTSOLD!#'what if i get bored?' oh team ... BABE ................. you've got NO IDEA what's coming .........................
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card declined at therapy so they reminded me how jEAN KISSES THE HAND THAT HELD MARCO'S ASHES BEFORE BATTLE
#i am unwell i require a moment#i love this man so much#yall dont even know#attack on titan#aot#shingeki no kyojin#snk#jean kirstein#marco bodt#jeanmarco
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oh they look so happy, i sure hope no one traumatizes them causing a chain reaction of unfortunate events
#୨♡୧ — 𝐉𝑼𝐉𝐔𝐓𝑺𝑼 𝐊𝐀𝒊𝐒𝑬𝐍#I AM SO UNWELL YALL AAAAAHHHHH#WE'LL FINALLY BE ABLE TO SEE WHAT THEY WERE LIKE AS TEENS#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#getou suguru#jujutsu kaisen s2#jujutsu kaisen season 2#jjk s2#jjk season 2
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obsessed with this. April doesn’t know what happened to her boys except that they were attacked and are now MIA, so she got out all these pictures of them and an old newspaper (which im going insane over btw it isn’t always addressed in the show but like!!! so many people know of them!!! theyr in the newspaper!!) to look over
please take note Raph’s huge smile, Mikey yucking it up for the camera, the candid shots of Leo, Don’s professional little pose, and the picture of Splinter as well
#TMNT 2003#TMNT 2k3#TMNT#April O'Neil#20s musings#2k3#april#yall i am unwell....#the fact that she has all these in the first place makes me emo#like they have to be kept so secret and hidden im sure they get nervous about pictures to begin with!!#and she has all these#probably keeps them in a lock box#and she pulled them all out because she misses her weird little mutant family sm!!!#crying and screaming forever over this
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hiccstrid 🤝 zelink
best t4t couples
#hiccstrid#zelink#httyd#tloz#how to train your dragon#the legend of zelda#hiccup haddock#astrid hofferson#princess zelda#link#brainrot be brainrotting#i am so unwell yall i love them#t4t#headcanon
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moodboard for this past week ❤️
#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane#i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile#this week was just horrible#there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe#even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment#during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll#the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab#AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ?????#then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly#i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window#im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard-#to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner#which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment#where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough#and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful#and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired.#im in so much pain and so stressed out#debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame
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Spoilers up to orv chapter 515 below: So in one of my random rereads of the orv manwha (that originally started out for fic research but i ended up going through the entire disaster of floods arc) I noted the use of disconnected film theory between the 41st round Yoosung and current round Yoosung and the striking similarities it shares with the film theory that unravels around Dokja and the Oldest Dream. Both are between the younger self and the older, more jaded self. Both end with one self trying to deny the existence of the other, of the other worldline they represent. To both the Oldest Dream and to Yoosung(at first), their older self is a monster, something so terrible that it must be defeated or rejected.
Except there are differences too. 41st round Yoosung denies the memories of current Yoosung, she rejects Dokja, because she can't bring herself to believe in her own happiness. She can't find a way to justify it after all she suffered for, all she endured for. Current Yoosung doesn't directly reject her other self, rather she feels empathy and pity for 41st round Yoosung, now aware of all the pain she went through. In turn, 41st round Yoosung never intended to kill her younger self- she wants to live after all. However, the rejection between Dokja and the Oldest Dream is mutual, the same way Oldest Dream sees Dokja as a monster, so too does Dokja see Oldest Dream as one; not just any monster, the most terrible and pathetic thing in this universe. Oldest Dream wants to reject the existence of a version of himself that grew up well enough to become a 'character' while Dokja wants to reject his very existence in all aspects.
While the theory between the Yoosung's plays out as overlapping text, each of their memories playing concurrently, the film theory between the Dokja's is a conversation. Dokja says "I know you better than anyone else in this world," while the Oldest Dream is terrified of him. Personally I read Dokja's words with a bleak gentleness; he knows of every abuse, every terrible day the Oldest Dream has endured, he hates what it made them into, what their love brought upon the universe, but Dokja knows the Oldest Dream's agony so intimately.
“I’m not trying to torment you.” ⸢I want to run away.⸥ “I know. ⸢But, where to?⸥ The child’s story was transmitted to me, while mine also was transmitted to him.
Dokja is the one who offers a hand to 41st round Yoosung, he gives her a place to run to when she's confronted with current Yoosung's memories and what they mean to her. Current Yoosung is quiet during this scene, neither opposed nor able to speak up in defense of her older self, but Dokja does not push her to answer, aware of the cruelty of such a thing. The Oldest Dream does not get the same mercy. He wants to run and Dokja asks him where too, because Dokja believes there is no one who will accept the Oldest Dream, that there is nothing that can be done because what he and the Oldest Dream have done is unforgivable. And in that lies another difference, when current Yoosung looks at 41st Yoosung, yes, she can see herself in the older woman. Ultimately though, the two are so vastly different that while they share the same soul, it's difficult to see the way in which current Yoosung could become the 41st Yoosung. To Dokja, however? The Oldest Dream is him. Because he's looking at a younger version of himself, not an older one, all he can see is that they are exactly the same. They still love the same story. They still drive everyone around them into misery. He can only see himself in the worst way possible because to Dokja, nothing about him has truly changed. And so he has to die so that his companions can live on.
But that brings us around to the parallels between these two events once more: Yoo Joonghyuk is the one to break through the "other" self's barriers. Yoo Joonghyuk is the one who speaks to 41st Yoosung and breaks down her reservations, her resentment, by honestly explaining how he lived as a regressor and pointing out how they lived the same way. And it is Secretive Plotter who is able to cut through the barrier the Oldest Dream put around himself, and is able to see the true origin of this dream, of this child's suffering. Secretive Plotter is the one to say aloud that while he had thought of killing himself often, there was one being who had ensured he never gave up. He and the Oldest Dream had lived the same way.
And of course, the paths diverge here once more, but really, it does kind of make perfect sense for Dokja to be Yoosung's sponsor, doesn't it?
#orv#orv spoilers#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#shin yoosung#yoo joonghyuk#41st round shin yoosung#secretive plotter#i am feeling emotions tonight yall#like. do you ever just sit an think about orv#and then want to cry#rereading the chapters for OD and kdj's meeting hurt me in ways i cannot describe with words#so did reading yjh's convo with 41st round sys#this novel has me so mentally unwell
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i just read all the current chapters of id2 and i. i need to lie down
#i am. genuinely unwell#wtf#i honestly didn't have high expectations going into it bc yknow it's a sequel and i also hated the ending of book 1 but ????!!!!??#it's so good!!!!!#(to me anyway idc what yall think)#i was on the edge of my seat the entire time holy fuck#it had me screaming and crying and giggling ?? what ??#is it a perfect book? of course not. am i genuinely enjoying it anyway? hell yeah !!#just as book 1 brought me back to the choices fandom#book 2 is singlehandedly rejuvenating my interest in choices#my head is swimming with drawing ideas!!#esp a particular scene in ch. 10 >>#can't wait for the next chapter!!!#also i thought there'd be more fanart by now??#maybe it's just tumblr search doing y'all dirty but i hadn't been able to find a lot#for book 2 i mean#if there really isn't any then damn#i gotta do everything myself around here /j /lh#side note it is currently 8 am and i have not slept A WINK#literally stayed up all night to read lol#hydn.txt#immortal desires
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got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast
#shit was Black#literally was in my kitchen Wailing about them and forgot the bread slices i put in the toaster oven three seconds prior#s'ok i made a new set but oughhhhhh i am still sooooooo so unwell about them....#OUGHHHHHHH THEMMMMMMM#theyre just... snf.... theyre just two silly goofy guys in love....#silly goofy fruity fellas and they love each other <3#SIDE NOTE GINGER SPREAD ON HONEY/BUTTER TOAST ABSOLUTELY FUCKS TRUST ME ON THIS#absolutely unprompted#but yea i was specifically thinking about that fic i have in my head#yall know the one by now. the one i desperately want to write and I SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY#but the fuckin... Misunderstanding... it makes me insaneeeee#its the most unhealthy part of their relationship AND THEY ARENT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP YET#damn theyre so healthy. theyre so. wails screams howls#but howdy being an oblivious idiot to his own emotions is so important to me#mans is whip smart & quick in every other area#but in this One Subject hes dumb as a rock & that hurts both of them <3#but it also turns into something they can cry w/ laughter over later#someone asks how they got together. they exchange a look. and burst out howling#full on wheeze-laughing Cannot Form Words#y'see most couples would have some lingering 'i cant believe you did that' and/or guilt#but barn & howdy would just find it hysterical. full on 'remember when you-' 'yeah lmfao'#THEYRE SOOOOOO <3#yknow if i ever find someone i want to have a partner-esque relationship. i want to have what laughingstock has#i do genuinely believe that howdy might have feelings for barn#but i like to live in the delusional world of my mind where they're Established <3#grabbing them and slamming them together like a violent 5 yr old playing with dolls#kiss! kiss damn you!
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