#i am so unwell yall
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inventedfangirling · 1 year ago
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What scene/dialogue in bad buddy absolutely devastated you (but in the larger context of the episode and the show got ignored cos we had bigger traumas to unpack) and why for me was it this scene when Pat asks Pran when he's going to get the documents from LogTech and then proceeding to say that he wants to go visit the musical instrument shop?
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I cant believe i didnt properly process it earlier but Pat really asked him to go to the musical instrument shop.
Not because he wants to visit the shop but because he cant take one more second of being apart from Pran and whatever this awkward almost hostile distance that Pran had put between them. The fact that he was trying to say that casually, as if all was as "normal" as it was pre rooftop kiss, when he was feeling anything but casual on the inside, his heart being on the bottom of the feelings-roller-coaster he had on been ever since that moment in the instrument shop when it finally hit him, what he had been oblivious to all along, that Pran was there, and that Pat missed him even while he was standing right in front of him and that somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with him without even knowing.
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Just look at him. He's so so so in love it physically hurts ME ( an independent (NOT) unbaised (NOT) observer).
And so now he tries to inject a sense of normality and familiarity into this gap in their relationship by asking Pran to accompany him to the instrument store, do what they have done a bunch of times already but this time maybe even in hopes of telling him what he had felt the last time they were there together??!? Do you realize how devastating that is??
Watching Pat ask that with trepidation, for the first time, well and truly unsure of what is or isnt allowed to him in his dynamic with Pran and knowing (in hindsight) Pran's plan of cutting him off at least temporaririly and knowing Pat's efforts wont be reciprocated (for at least a while more) just hurts so bad i almost couldnt believe it didnt strike me the first 5 times i watched the episode.
It's literally just 10 seconds and probably one of the most un-remarkable moments in the entire episode if not show and yet i am so so so deeply shattered by it.
Is that just me being unwell or did you tear up too...? Feel free to add more devastation i really do wanna know if ive missed any more small but not insignificant moments like these.
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claudiaeparvier · 5 months ago
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it’s missing them hours
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freckliedan · 6 months ago
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do you guys ever think about how dan almost came out to his family at christmas in 2018. that makes me so much more unwell over him visiting the lesters beforehand. he needed a reminder that even if it went poorly he still had a family.
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autisticaradiamegido · 3 months ago
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day 231
doomed timeline
u ever think about how literally every single one of the thousands of aradias that traveled back to fight in the trolls' boss battle was from a doomed timeline where she had to a) watch all her friends die b) process that she was also doomed and c) then power through all that to do a bunch of time travel detective work so that she could advise the alpha iterations of her friends on how to avoid splitting into that doomed timeline in the first place? before traveling to a battle she knew she wouldn't make it out of?
yeah man
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breadball · 9 months ago
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"In a night of silence I'm settled by your sounds In a dream of quiet Contentedness surrounds ...
Delightfully exhausted Willingly this way Always yours, always yours I'll stay With you, my muse"
-My Muse by Sarah Jarosz
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lifemod17 · 2 months ago
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Bugs mention AND Like Real People Do?? So important to me!!!
Kia Forum night 2 || 09/18/2024
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hurglewurm · 5 months ago
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me: we are Not going to worsen our life while in a minor depressive episode
the brain: :/
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usertoxicyaoi · 2 years ago
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“Let me ask you something ...” BETWEEN US (2022) - Episode 2.
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bxsmxx · 4 months ago
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card declined at therapy so they reminded me how jEAN KISSES THE HAND THAT HELD MARCO'S ASHES BEFORE BATTLE
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sugucidal · 1 year ago
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oh they look so happy, i sure hope no one traumatizes them causing a chain reaction of unfortunate events
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20s-turtle-posting · 2 years ago
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obsessed with this. April doesn’t know what happened to her boys except that they were attacked and are now MIA, so she got out all these pictures of them and an old newspaper (which im going insane over btw it isn’t always addressed in the show but like!!! so many people know of them!!! theyr in the newspaper!!) to look over
please take note Raph’s huge smile, Mikey yucking it up for the camera, the candid shots of Leo, Don’s professional little pose, and the picture of Splinter as well
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fairielux · 1 month ago
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hiccstrid 🤝 zelink
best t4t couples
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squeakadeeks · 10 months ago
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moodboard for this past week ❤️
#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane#i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile#this week was just horrible#there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe#even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment#during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll#the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab#AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ?????#then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly#i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window#im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard-#to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner#which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment#where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough#and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful#and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired.#im in so much pain and so stressed out#debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame
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mae-i-scribble · 5 months ago
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Spoilers up to orv chapter 515 below: So in one of my random rereads of the orv manwha (that originally started out for fic research but i ended up going through the entire disaster of floods arc) I noted the use of disconnected film theory between the 41st round Yoosung and current round Yoosung and the striking similarities it shares with the film theory that unravels around Dokja and the Oldest Dream. Both are between the younger self and the older, more jaded self. Both end with one self trying to deny the existence of the other, of the other worldline they represent. To both the Oldest Dream and to Yoosung(at first), their older self is a monster, something so terrible that it must be defeated or rejected.
Except there are differences too. 41st round Yoosung denies the memories of current Yoosung, she rejects Dokja, because she can't bring herself to believe in her own happiness. She can't find a way to justify it after all she suffered for, all she endured for. Current Yoosung doesn't directly reject her other self, rather she feels empathy and pity for 41st round Yoosung, now aware of all the pain she went through. In turn, 41st round Yoosung never intended to kill her younger self- she wants to live after all. However, the rejection between Dokja and the Oldest Dream is mutual, the same way Oldest Dream sees Dokja as a monster, so too does Dokja see Oldest Dream as one; not just any monster, the most terrible and pathetic thing in this universe. Oldest Dream wants to reject the existence of a version of himself that grew up well enough to become a 'character' while Dokja wants to reject his very existence in all aspects.
While the theory between the Yoosung's plays out as overlapping text, each of their memories playing concurrently, the film theory between the Dokja's is a conversation. Dokja says "I know you better than anyone else in this world," while the Oldest Dream is terrified of him. Personally I read Dokja's words with a bleak gentleness; he knows of every abuse, every terrible day the Oldest Dream has endured, he hates what it made them into, what their love brought upon the universe, but Dokja knows the Oldest Dream's agony so intimately.
“I’m not trying to torment you.” ⸢I want to run away.⸥ “I know. ⸢But, where to?⸥ The child’s story was transmitted to me, while mine also was transmitted to him.
Dokja is the one who offers a hand to 41st round Yoosung, he gives her a place to run to when she's confronted with current Yoosung's memories and what they mean to her. Current Yoosung is quiet during this scene, neither opposed nor able to speak up in defense of her older self, but Dokja does not push her to answer, aware of the cruelty of such a thing. The Oldest Dream does not get the same mercy. He wants to run and Dokja asks him where too, because Dokja believes there is no one who will accept the Oldest Dream, that there is nothing that can be done because what he and the Oldest Dream have done is unforgivable. And in that lies another difference, when current Yoosung looks at 41st Yoosung, yes, she can see herself in the older woman. Ultimately though, the two are so vastly different that while they share the same soul, it's difficult to see the way in which current Yoosung could become the 41st Yoosung. To Dokja, however? The Oldest Dream is him. Because he's looking at a younger version of himself, not an older one, all he can see is that they are exactly the same. They still love the same story. They still drive everyone around them into misery. He can only see himself in the worst way possible because to Dokja, nothing about him has truly changed. And so he has to die so that his companions can live on.
But that brings us around to the parallels between these two events once more: Yoo Joonghyuk is the one to break through the "other" self's barriers. Yoo Joonghyuk is the one who speaks to 41st Yoosung and breaks down her reservations, her resentment, by honestly explaining how he lived as a regressor and pointing out how they lived the same way. And it is Secretive Plotter who is able to cut through the barrier the Oldest Dream put around himself, and is able to see the true origin of this dream, of this child's suffering. Secretive Plotter is the one to say aloud that while he had thought of killing himself often, there was one being who had ensured he never gave up. He and the Oldest Dream had lived the same way.
And of course, the paths diverge here once more, but really, it does kind of make perfect sense for Dokja to be Yoosung's sponsor, doesn't it?
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hydn-jpg · 6 months ago
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i just read all the current chapters of id2 and i. i need to lie down
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast
#shit was Black#literally was in my kitchen Wailing about them and forgot the bread slices i put in the toaster oven three seconds prior#s'ok i made a new set but oughhhhhh i am still sooooooo so unwell about them....#OUGHHHHHHH THEMMMMMMM#theyre just... snf.... theyre just two silly goofy guys in love....#silly goofy fruity fellas and they love each other <3#SIDE NOTE GINGER SPREAD ON HONEY/BUTTER TOAST ABSOLUTELY FUCKS TRUST ME ON THIS#absolutely unprompted#but yea i was specifically thinking about that fic i have in my head#yall know the one by now. the one i desperately want to write and I SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY#but the fuckin... Misunderstanding... it makes me insaneeeee#its the most unhealthy part of their relationship AND THEY ARENT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP YET#damn theyre so healthy. theyre so. wails screams howls#but howdy being an oblivious idiot to his own emotions is so important to me#mans is whip smart & quick in every other area#but in this One Subject hes dumb as a rock & that hurts both of them <3#but it also turns into something they can cry w/ laughter over later#someone asks how they got together. they exchange a look. and burst out howling#full on wheeze-laughing Cannot Form Words#y'see most couples would have some lingering 'i cant believe you did that' and/or guilt#but barn & howdy would just find it hysterical. full on 'remember when you-' 'yeah lmfao'#THEYRE SOOOOOO <3#yknow if i ever find someone i want to have a partner-esque relationship. i want to have what laughingstock has#i do genuinely believe that howdy might have feelings for barn#but i like to live in the delusional world of my mind where they're Established <3#grabbing them and slamming them together like a violent 5 yr old playing with dolls#kiss! kiss damn you!
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