#i am so tired of working 6 days lmao 😭😭😭😭

[orcelito]

Love waking up in the middle of the night and then being awake for Hours (despite my best efforts to fall back asleep)

Insomnia's a bitch sometimes

[luvangelbreak]

pls do something based on chris’s birthmark / waist… 😭 i cant

Touch

christopher sturniolo x alice reyna (female!oc) summary: chris and alice have been friends for 6 months and dating for 3 months but alice has never noticed his birthmark. warnings: swearing, very suggestive, fluff? word count: 1.5k a/n: this request is kinda vague so i tried my best to work with what i had LMAO. this one is kinda short but i hope u like it <3

not proofread!

It was the first hot day in months and Alice had convinced Chris, Nick and Matt to go to Malibu with her. By the time they arrived at the beach, getting themselves situated on the sand, it was about 6 pm and the heat of the day was beaming down on them.

"Ali," Nick said grabbing Alice's attention and she spun around after laying her towel flat on the ground, "Do you have the sunscreen?"

"Yeah, here," she nodded, grabbing it out of her handbag and throwing the bottle to Nick who quickly started covering himself in the protective liquid. She quickly tied her hair up into a ponytail to keep it out of her face before she slid off her t-shirt and shorts.

"It's so fucking hot," Matt groaned, sliding off his shirt and sitting down on his towel beside Nick. Alice nodded in agreement as Chris took the black cap off of his head, throwing it onto Alice's bag.

"Fuck this. I'm going straight to the water," Alice announced, throwing her phone on top of her bag before she jogged down the beach. Her feet reached the water, the coldness giving her immediate relief and she instantly ran in, the water reaching her shoulders.

She heard a splash behind her and she turned around to see her boyfriend appear from under the water behind her. He shook his head, shaking the water off of his hair like a dog making her raise her hand to avoid water getting in her eyes.

"Hey," Chris said smoothly, swimming towards her as she smiled at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, "You look pretty, ma."

"You look like a wet dog with this hair," she giggled at him, swiping a few pieces of his wet hair off of his face. He once again shook his head, making her face scrunch as she turned away from him, "Asshole."

"You love me," he mumbled, leaning forward and pressing a delicate kiss to her lips making her melt into him. She pushed her feet off of the ocean floor, wrapping her legs around his waist and he moved his hands to hold her up by her thighs.

"You're lucky you're cute because you're a fucking idiot," she mumbled against his lips with a smile making him return the facial expression, squeezing her thighs and she squeaked, "Chris. We're in public."

"How am I supposed to not touch you when you look this good?" he asked rhetorically with a smirk and she rolled her eyes, pretending to be annoyed.

She was never truly annoyed with how clingy he was, in fact, she loved it. Whenever they were together, they would be touching in one way or another. Chris always wanted to be close to her, to feel her skin on his. He was like that with his friends, he loved being physically close with anyone he loved and cared about but it was a whole new level with Alice. He couldn't resist squeezing her waist or grabbing her ass, no matter if they were in public or not.

"Alright love birds. Stop fucking in the water," they heard Matt's voice appear beside them and they looked over to see him dip under the water getting his hair wet. Soon enough, Nick joined them in the water and they all swam around until their legs got tired, their arms hurting from splashing heaping amounts of water at each other.

They began walking out of the water and Nick spoke up, "You guys wanna get ice cream?"

"I'm beat. You guys can go," Alice answered tiredly as she walked across the sand.

"I'll come," Matt shrugged to Nick and they all looked at Chris whose mind seemed somewhere else, "Chris?"

"Huh?" he asked, turning to see they were all staring at him.

"You wanna come with me and Nick to get ice cream?" Matt asked, used to his brother zoning out by now and Chris shook his head, stopping right beside his towel.

"I'm tired. I'll wait with Ali," he explained, grabbing the towel off the sand and shaking it off before wrapping it around his shoulders, drying off his hair as best he could.

"You want us to bring any back?" Nick asked, sliding his t-shirt on his torso as Matt slung his t-shirt over his shoulder.

"I'm good," Alice responded and Chris shook his head. Matt and Nick grabbed what they needed before bidding their farewells, promising that they'd be back soon. Alice plopped herself down on her towel, her legs spread out in front of her as she leaned back on her palms.

Her boyfriend decided to push her knees apart and place himself between them, his back to her as he looked out at the sea. Alice smiled at his actions, his clinginess showing once again. She scanned his hair and trailed her eyes along his neck and shoulders. She loved every inch of him but she'd realised she never paid much mind to his back.

Her eyes took in every detail, freckles and all. It was only then that she noticed a round birthmark the size of a bottle cap on his lower back. She leaned forward, taking one of her hands and running her fingertips along the birthmark making him jump.

"I didn't know you had a birthmark," she said softly and he spun around to look at her, a smile on his lips.

"It's how our parents used to tell me and Matt apart when we were babies," he explained and she nodded, her fingertips delicately trailing his flesh raising goosebumps on the skin.

She leaned forward, placing her chin on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her. She liked that Chris didn't necessarily care about being the big or little spoon, he just wanted to be close to her in any way he could and if that meant he was the little spoon, he was happy as a clam.

"I love you so much," she mumbled, placing a kiss on his shoulder and he leaned his head back on her shoulder, turning his head to meet her lips with his.

"I love you, ma," he smiled against her and she had butterflies on her stomach once again, this moment somehow feeling private and intimate despite the amount of people on the beach with them.

"I love your hair and your eyes. I love your nose, your lips, your jaw," she gently kissed his jaw making his eyes flutter close as he placed his hands on her forearms that were still around his torso, "I love your neck and shoulders and arms. And your hands, god your hands."

He chuckled, opening his eyes to look at her with a love-filled gaze, "You're really gassing me up here."

"I'm not done," she quipped making him smile once again, "I love your chest and your back. I love your waist," she squeezed his sides lightly making him let out a heavy breath, "And your hips. Your thighs are better than mine."

"Not true," he mumbled, his gaze fixated on her face that was illuminated by the sun that was slowly falling closer to the horizon.

"Very true," she retorted making him shake his head, "I never knew I could love a person's legs but here we are. Fuck your feet though. I will never love anyone's feet."

"That's so rude," he frowned at her with a fake pout making her roll her eyes with a smile, "I love your feet."

"That's because your fucking weird," she teased him as she squeezed his waist again making his eye flutter closed.

"I like it when you do that," he whispered, his hard demeanour completely disappearing when it was just the two of them.

"This?" she asked before gripping his waist gently once more and he hummed in response as she bit her lip, "Well we are in public so maybe we'll wait till we're back at yours before you start humping the air."

He whined out of aggravation, opening his eyes to look up at her again, "But it feels nice."

He pouted at her once again and she shook her head, placing another kiss on his lips before saying, "It feels nice because you're horny. I can see you getting hard, baby. I'm not doing it again."

He pursed his lips, grabbing his towel which was behind his back and pulling it over his lap making her giggle.

"I wanna go home now," Chris rolled his eyes and she chuckled at him once again. She decided to tease him a little bit now that the towel was over his lap and she ran her fingertips softly along his waist.

"You're gonna have to wait," she said softly before placing a kiss on his jaw and gripping his waist once again, eliciting a groan from him as he slid down further.

"Fuck you," he frowned up at her and she gave him a sly smirk, kissing his lips gently before looking into his blue eyes being illuminated by the sun.

"Yeah, I know you want to," she giggled before looking up, seeing his brothers approaching them with ice creams in hand, "Pull yourself together. They're back."

[adambja]

You asked for my void success story? And my void journey? well I am sharing it bestie!!

But again I won't share any personal stuff some people here are obsessive pls lmao

I typed it when I was on the discord server because someone who is in my experiment asked me so I answered and I asked myself like why not sharing it here after all that time and all these things I am doing (coaching - the experiment - more....) and I am so excited to share the results of my experiment after exactly 6 days and actually 2 people joined the experiment but they were late!

So.....

• let's begin with my void journey!

Okay basically I am sure no one actually knows this except for like 3 people on Tumblr and like 20 people in my experiment (cuz they asked me) my life before entering was actually great I already had everything I wanted my mom and dad are literally my role models and my self-concept was perfect and I am not saying it as an affirmation it's just me and I was always finding something from time to time related to the void state and I worked more on my self-concept using my tape I made it in early - mid 2022 (actually the same tape I sell now) then I started collecting information about the void from literally everywhere back in late 2022 then I started applying in early 2023 I entered in January but didn't really plan to manifest anything because I had the same manifesting abilities in my daily life then I thought about it more than once so I made a list full of everything I can think of at that time and I entered in early 2023 again

• How I entered?

It was just normal i was in the USA specifically NY at that time I was listening to my self-concept tape it was almost 10pm and I felt like I will actually enter today and manifest everything I wasn't even planning to do it but I knew I will experience it's just a feeling I felt at that time and I was feeling a lot of love at that time too so I meditated I didn't affirm I didn't do anything it was fully my subconscious mind but it wasn't that deep to me it was normal EVEN THO IT WAS NORMAL all these days when I entered affirmed the affirmation that's connected to my void list then got out and found everything that was on my void list in my apartment IT WAS SO SURPRISING TO ME but I didn't get overwhelmed nor confused! It was a great surprise!

Also the time it was like 2am when I got out of my void state as I remember and I was sitting at the same place for almost 15 mins just realizing what happened with me and why my head feels like this it was a weird feeling I still can't find a name to it or a word that explains it! i thought about the word "dizzy" BUT it's not just dizzy and it's not really dizzy - it's just a different feeling!

• What was my void state like?

I will say everything that's on my mind

The first time I entered it was pitch black

Then I typed on my void list that it's full of stars it's like outer space because I chose it to be like that (you can choose how your void state looks like too)

It looked exactly like this and everytime I wake up there since that day because I didn't change it! 🫶🏻

Entering was so intense not emotionally but physically even tho I didn't feel my body 😭 it was as if my soul is getting out of my body it was so unexplainable and special to me my body was tired after it and I was feeling too much in my head after getting out and back to my physical body I don't have words for what I experienced the first time and the second time 😭 but now I have no symptoms because it was so annoying so I manifested it away when I woke up in my void state the second day (this was on my void list tho like waking up in my void state everyday and being in my void state everytime I take a nap) - that feeling in my head was so bad like as if I was so high and can't even focus for 15 mins non-stop! That's why I manifested not experiencing any symptoms at all.

• What did you manifest?

I manifested a lot of things I wanted but tbh having these things wasn't that far from me like I already could do it without entering my void state at all and I won't be specific about what I manifested cause they are a bit personal but they were friendships/relationships + businesses + apartments/homes + money/more investments..... and way more

Also I already had many investments before I entered my void state hope this clears everything too

cause many people were asking me about how do I have tips for entering without sharing my story the tips are here tho they are very helpful - it was because I don't like these people who come to your DMs and ask you to help them once and twice and 3 times with their trauma dump message or ask pls like no it was just too much for me when I posted once that I entered then deleted it but here we are again if it happens just don't blame me I will just block people.....

• About the experiment's results

I am not sure if I should post it day by day?

So I am gonna make a poll and see what y'all think!

Also.....

• POWERFUL AFFIRMATION TAPES

(self-concept - void state - shifting - subconscious mind....more) (personalized and unpersonalized) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me

• FOR COACHING

(self-concept - void state - shifting....more) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me

And now that's it! 💋💋

Have a good day/night cuties🫶🏻!

@voidsuccessarchive

@voidarchivefiles

@voidsuccess

@voidbaby111

That's the post! 💋

You can send me a message too if you wanna suggest any idea for a post or something specific I will give you credits if you want credits + If you have any questions related to my void journey or self-concept even coaching you can ask me babes 💋🫶🏻

I would really be thankful because gurl I am so busy with (my life, coaching, the experiment and more...) rn I can't even keep up with posting here so I scheduled this post lmao thanks to Tumblr for adding this feature for real!

[dipplinduo]

S&S D Chapter 16 thoughts: (this is going to be super long)

1. "We're back at it again for another round for Kieran vs Drayto-"

*a few sentences later*

Oh. They're supposed to be working together.

*a few moments later*

Oh WAIT- The match is back on. Let's GOOOO 😂🤣

2. *Juliana in her Ribombee swimsuit enters the chat*

*Kieran.exe has stopped working*

(Crispin and Drayton's comments on Kieran short circuiting tho I-)

3. Oh dear. Not Ogerpon sensing Pecharunt and is about to cause violence again (Thanks Carmine and Drayton for the damage control)

4. HORRAY FOR COMMUNICATION. Kieran and Juliana finally talked things through. Another amazing progress has been made to their relationship and the Toxic Chain Investigation XD

5. I am SO GLAD it was Carmine who walked into them having their moment (I cannot imagine the amount of chaos that might happen if it was anyone else). I bet that commemorative photo is going to be framed by the three of them and it's decorated with their own style. X3

6. Are the Applins not feeling tired after running around for a whole day?

*a few moments later*

OH NOOOOOOOO WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THEM?? PLEASS BE SAFE EVERYONE 😭😭😭

Okay. I am glad I picked the best time to use this gif (once again) cause it's super fitting for this chapter in this beach episode

- ☕️

SEE SEE IT WOULD'VE BEEN FUNNY TO HAVE THEM AGAINST EACH OTHER, BUT I RAISE YOU, THEY'RE TEAMED BUT END UP FIGHTING ANYWAY, LOOOL

He's gonna need a new processing machine in that noggin, the one he had was fried-

Oh she did, alright...:)

I've decided on a whim that I want to emphasize this in the story rather than waiting for post-possession. Feels more impactful this way? And it makes their actual relationship more solidified and developed. We've had enough of their situationship and we've seen a decent amount of flaws in it lol.

I was very close to making this Lacey since she had the camera, but I couldn't imagine a way to make the conversation flow as it did with Carmine. LMAO

I can't find the post right now but I was so evil somewhere in someone else's ask where I hinted at this happening ages ago in a double entendre. LOOOOL <3333

Buckle up!! :D And thank you as always for sharing your thoughts and reactions I eat them up like dinner <3

[laurelnose]

good news! I don’t have a brain tumor 🥰

so basically what happened is

mid-december: i acquire Debilitating Migraine, 10 out of 10 worst pain I’ve felt in my entire fucking life Migraine, worse than the time I spent three weeks recovering from major surgery completely sober because I am inexplicably resistant to just about every class of painkiller I’ve ever tried Migraine. (I actually only rank the surgery experience about a 6 out of 10 on the pain scale.) we get the migraine down to Bad But Manageable by locating several new Christmas light strings that turned out to be flickering at speeds the human eye could not detect but my human brain certainly could and throwing them all out. I make a doctor’s appointment.

last week: I finally see my PCP. she prescribes me a triptan, which is an abortive med that is meant to stop migraine attacks. the triptan decreases the headache but does not remove it entirely. also, the damn thing keeps getting worse again. I try it three times over the week, which is the maximum number of times you’re supposed to take a triptan in a month. almost like you’re not supposed to have more than three headaches in a month or something?? weird. well, technically I haven’t had three. it’s all the Same Damn Headache.

this same day I also pick up a topiramate prescription, which is a preventative. i am advised i can start the topiramate even if i am not pain free. maybe if i give it a day or two it will help even if i am currently having an attack??

wednesday i see my PCP for followup and tell her i am still in pain. she offers to get me squeezed in to have an intramuscular toradol (heavy-duty NSAID) shot. this kicks in within 20 minutes and doubles my migraine pain. I was at 3-ish and now I am at 6 and unhappy about it.

i do not come back down from the level the toradol kicked me up to. i survive thursday by not doing very much of anything.

uh? holy shit? yeah, sure?

friday the pain becomes unbearable. back up to an 8, which isn’t the worst it’s been but it’s also Day Forty Fucking Two and I’m so tired. I leave work early & go to urgent care where they pump me fulla benadryl and dexamethasone. absolutely none of this is fun — the dexamethasone feels like a panic attack and the benadryl makes me dizzy and light-headed + makes it very hard to think of words? what the shit do people take benadryl recreationally for? but! the pain diminishes dramatically. after the IV’s done they get me in for a CT scan and are like hey! you don’t have a brain tumor! (I was not actually worried I had a brain tumor but it’s always nice to rule it out.) but you do have a sinus infection and a bunch of fluid buildup that’s probably triggering the migraine. (really? but I haven’t been congested?) yeah, no, it’s really deep in there. do you wanna do antibiotics and sudafed about that to clear up the fluid?

saturday morning the head pain is back but it’s mild and it feels LIKE A FUCKING SINUS HEADACHE and not a migraine anymore oh my god. Guess what kinds of headaches are fucking fixable and tend not to be intractable and unpreventable. It’s also like, a manageable amount of pain? It hurts but I feel okay?? I get thru work without taking my breaks in the dark with a heat pad? I look at headlights on the dark road coming home and am not immediately debilitated? 😭 Maybe in a week and a half when the antibiotics course is done I will actually just be Fine??

I really shoulda gone to urgent care back in December. Too bad I didn’t quite realize you could go to urgent care for migraines until I’d seen my PCP for the first time and that couldn’t happen earlier bc, well, appointments are hard to come by.

I’m wondering in hindsight if the triptan WAS kicking the migraine more effectively than I thought it was and i couldn’t tell because I had a sinus headache underneath (which kept bringing the migraine back). this also explains why I was getting decent results with Vick’s VapoRub LMAO. Like some people do swear by menthol for migraines but it was probably helping the congestion too.

anyways this is why I’ve been quiet. I will be quiet for a little while longer probably bc the sinus headache is still not fun but it is getting better. in fact i had to get up and eat breakfast to take my antibiotic but it is sunday and i don’t actually want to be awake so i think i’m going back to bed

i am never letting anyone talk me into taking another NSAID ever fucking again.

[nerflufser]

<casual questions PART TWO!!!!>

(5) what’s your art style?

(6) what’s a specific thing you can draw and never get tired of?

(7) do you o you have a favorite book/movie/show?

(8) yet not having any idols, are you a fan of many diffrent creators and take inspo of them? (You don’t have to awnser this one, you actually don’t have to awnser any of these btw.)

((THERE YA GO. >:3))

Oooo~ yay more questions :)) (sorry if my typing is a bit wonky I just woke up LMAO)

5) uhh honestly I dunno, people have said it's realistic with cartoony features other people call it a weird more cartoony form of anime, ig just my own style?? Cause I see where they're coming from I have taken inspo from all those things and shaped it into something of my own style:)).

6) Zip. She's pretttyyyy much the one thing I've been drawing since day one of digital. Now I did have this other OC I did draw non stop their name was like XZIRLIC?? (All caps cuz I'm sure that how I wrote it on paper 💀) I've been thinking of re-drawing them but they are a WILD OC I have. I also have this horse pony thingy I don't think I ever gave it a name 💀.

7) For books uhhh I haven't really read anything too new to me. But there was a book a few years back around the time covid stuck up that I got from target 💀 it was called' a wolf called wander/wonder (can't remember) ' it was about this wolf that left their home after their clan died from this other wolf clan past the mountains seeking haven. It don't think I ever finished it 😭 I was thinking about re-reading it but I do have another new book I got. Movie? Mhmm I have a lot of those ig mostly John wick movies, a little free guy is good to, another good one I recently watched was bullet train. (I'm sure you can see where this is going 💀💀) so mostly comedic violence (No this doesn't go for like SAW or some bs that shit is nasty AF man.) My favorite show of all time is the good place. Shocker ikr /sar I got into it about mid way last year and has watched it over and over again it's become a comfort show of mine. I also like the concept of it with all the plot twists but also teaching people about philosophy!? That's fuckin awesome.

8) pfft I am a fan of a lot of creators- I really like @/whoectypes stuff I really like their OC designs and how they're building a world, they are also a super cool person in general. I'm not close to them I wouldn't even call each other friends or anything, more of moots, we both support each other and treat each other with respect. For another person?? @/cupsie most definitely, they were actually one of my first followers. And then we became like besties cuz yk we simp for ray- I mean ram- I mean cause of a common interest. I really like how they use pastels and they doo rubber hose soooo gooooooddddd arugh I just start jumping up and down and flapping my lil silly hands when I see their art /pos. Now I don't take inspo from any creators that I remember seeing on this app (or at least not intentional) alot of my inspiration comes from dali. **Insert dramatic duh duh DUHHH here** yeah dali. I grew up with dali, now the real question is, "how can a cartoonist be inspired to start drawing from a surrealist?!" Actually surrealism and cartoonism is actually VERY similar, look at the colors look at how proportions aren't correct, don't look directly at the picture look at what something has to be deemed surrealism and cartoonism in a modern day conversation (omg me actually being kinda stupid and smart 🤯). Anyways before we get off track is the question ' how? ' the answer to the question is **drum roll please** colors :p. And the flowy-ness of his art, you can see a lot of different ways I use like smoke or water, that's from looking at dalis work, same with all his vibrant colors ugh I love it. I didn't study off of him, oh no. I just live a bike ride away to a museum that features his work so granted I would go there like every other month or something stupid cause of school or families in town, so I'm quite familiar with his art. So as DR. Seuss there's a mini art gallery again a bike ride away and they change out the paintings and sculptures like every other month or something. So you get more familiar with his work. Same reasons as dali too color and flow.

[ghoulangerlee]

3, 4 and 22 if youd like to :3 i hope work goes by swiftly <3

Thank you!!! We are at the halfway point I feel. So close to the end of the day!

3. Favorite food?

Oh god I love food in general, I don't know if I actually have a favorite 😭 I could eat so many things and never get tired of them. Chicken and broccoli with fried rice is really far up there as a favorite though!

4. Favorite drink?

lmao sweet tea all day long. I am but a simple southerner at heart so I love a good sweet tea. Cold and refreshing, I'm apparently a sweet tea snob bc I have my favorite places to get it from lmao.

22. Best memory you can think of?

This one is kind of a long one, but, not really a secret, I left the state I grew up in to get away from my very abusive aunt. There were already plans in place for me to leave within the next week or so, but, I ended up leaving October 3rd, so early. Because my aunt had sent a friend to the house my sister, bro in law and I lived in (it was her house, the reason we were living there is a longer story I don't need to get into haha) but, that friend came to the house, berated me and yelled at me for not waking up at 6:30am. (Reference, I did rescue transport for my aunt on top of working at Sears. I got home that morning at like 3am or so from driving all the way to Buffalo, NY (I lived in South Carolina) and had to be to work at either 7:30 or 8am). The reason I needed to be up at 6:30am was because I needed to clean the house, take care of the puppies that we were fostering for my aunt's dog rescue and make sure the housemate we were in charge of caring for had been fed. I was tired and not thinking straight, said fuck it, told that friend I was leaving and packed my shit in a duffle bag. Cried a lot and called my manager at Sears and told him I'd be late (he came and picked me up and took me to work). I remember talking to both Kel and Kel's parents that day, got greenlit to make the move early, ordered my bus ticket to Georgia and worked my whole shift before leaving the state in an Uber to make it to the bus stop so I could begin my journey. It was a fucking long and miserable ride 😂 I couldn't talk to my sister because we were scared my aunt would find out where I was going and try to start shit. Anytime my sister messaged me to check in she cleared her message history and told my aunt that she was pissed at me for leaving her behind (she wasn't).

The whole trip I was so fucking scared. I'd never done anything like this—leaving the place I grew up, leaving my sister and brother in law behind to deal with the fallout. I'd never stood up to my aunt like this before. But the absolute relief I felt sitting at a bus stop in Marietta waiting for Kel and his dad to come pick me up like, sits so clearly in my mind to this day. It's been 5 years now since I made the decision and I've literally never looked back since.

It's not a happy memory to begin with, I was so tired and miserable. Crying in front of my bosses, the store manager, the fucking district leader at my Sears as I had to air my dirty laundry to make sure if and when my aunt came to look for me, they knew not to tell her where I was. The fear and anxiety of the bus ride. All of it. But it ended on such a positive note that I'm here all these years later to sit and think back on how I finally got out!

[fonulyn]

Wait, wait, wait, goodbye??? Please no! You're one of my absolute favorite writers, and I especially adore how you write metaltango. I don't want to lose you too 😭♥ which Fandom isn't good to you? The resi Fandom as a whole, or?

thank you for the kind words 💖

idk i'm just very lonely and sad and tired. it's... very lonely to churn out thousands upon thousands words and then maybe a couple of people like it enough to say something, and it's just wearing me out because i crave interaction as a part of this process. it's like driving for hours and then getting a spoonful of gas into the tank. it's not sustainable. i'm driving on fumes.

and most of all i can't keep doing this to myself. i hype myself up for a new fic, get super excited to share it, get all "well this time people will love it as much as i do!" ...but it doesn't happen. i'm again left wondering what i did wrong and where i fell short because yeah no one did love it like i did. i keep getting excited over nicely structured sentences, over clever references, over concepts i think work super well, and i hold my breath wishing someone would notice... but it doesn't happen.

and i'm so tired.

i'm also being somewhat dramatic, i'm aware, because there are some fics that got a better response and i truly am thankful for every single nice comment i've gotten! each time someone takes the time to type out something in the comment field it makes me really happy.

and i'm aware it's my own damn fault for writing niche pairings and niche tropes :'D but urgh. like the Damnation au I was so excited for it but clearly it tanked miserably lmao so I am tempted to just axe it. or the mutant baby series, for which i had SIX fics planned but yeah 3-6 now might not see light of day.

i guess i'm just. i have too high hopes, probably. i had a friend, once upon a time, who did quote things they liked and made me feel seen in the way i craved so maybe i'm still mourning that and unable to get over the grief of not only losing that but losing the friendship as well. idek. or maybe i'm just a selfish hag :'D

ANYHOW this is super long already but I'll still say that I don't know if this actually is a goodbye or not. I do have a list of like thirty things I still want to write! and I am not ready to give up on these characters and the dynamics between them. so who knows. maybe in a few weeks i'll slink back like nothing ever happened. it wouldn't be the first time!

[throwaway-yandere]

Happy new year everyone!!! Admittedly I suck at expressing myself so you'll have to forgive me if this comes across as a raw and chaotic mess lol. I'm not tagging the names either cause I'm a coward

It was incredibly fun running this blog!!! I never thought it last this long– and if probably wouldn't have it weren't for leftdestiny-post/shiro commenting on a fic haha (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠). Then I met some wonderful people, starting with like crying anon and their beloved elf darling, poptartthings, thatanonthatabsolutelyroastedtighnari, 😋 anon, veni, 🐠 anon, my mom exiled and hoo my brain is seriously a mess rn i can't type properly but i swear yall mean everything to me it's just that my aunts and uncles are all using the karaoke rn I can't hear my own thoughts but I need to write these all down before i pass out hAHAHHA (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠) they're singing victims of love rn, idk if it's my heartbeat or the speaker anymore send help–

each of yall make me always look forward to waking up the next morning! Ranging from Assistant ✾ & esther anon trying to survive, brosch and their wonderful designs (i often imagine brosch and capitano just drawing designs in silent honestly, couple goals), bakery wondering how to calm dottore, 🐠 and mochi's drawings– you're all wonderful people!! Seriously still can't believe I got noticed my romanticaa and zhongrin what. I still get so nervous when interacting with both help hAHAHAH.

2022 did not feel real for many reasons, pretty sure I'm already dead and Faceless!Ayato buried me somewhere. Y'all are fun af. 🌠 anon idk how you're doing, but shoutout to you too for somehow reading my first diluc fic and going "yeah might as well see where this writer's career will lead". I wonder how many of yall are in the same position as them cause wtf man how are tall tolerating my idiotic writings hAHAHAHHA

((Just wanna shoutout poptart again cause mom idk what I'm gonna do with that 4 dollar tip 😭))

🐠, exiled and veni were my real highlight for OCMC. The alhaitham slanders– the betrayal– lmao i was just cackling like the gremlin that i am when I read exiled's ask after the last chapter I uploaded lmao. And signora-fanboy's reblog tags were funny too lol

It was fun cooping with exiled!!! It was fun reblogging jokes with zhongrin (and making me brainrot mafia!dain dhshdjwj)!!! I was so happy T^T!!!

And this december i get to talk to riabef and watatsumii too and they're both wholesome and lowkey/highkey chaotic i love you both! Where the heck am I even going with this message my braincells are not working BUT yeah my point is that it's so awesome that even as the year's about to end I still end up meeting new blessings in life 😭😭😭

I'll just shorten this part: I used to be a major loner. It's just that since my elementary days I've just come to expect a pattern that I'm friends with someone for a year until they move out of the country. It's like I was cursed with that happening every time until I just always expect people to have an expiration date lmao. Hence, I just wanna thank my irl friends Purple and Orange Friend/a-dose-of-phitre for being my longest best friends. They gave me confidence and no I'm not crying rn shut up. Idk why yall stuck with me. Wait no I do know the answer it's cause you both want someone to bully 😭 but to bully me for 6 and now going 7 years??? Aren't you both tired???

With that in mind– i SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHY YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE TO ME 😭😭😭I PROBABLY MENTIONED THAT A LOT BUT WHY ARE YOU GUYS NICE??? I DON'T DESERVE THAT WHEN I'M WRITING YOU ANONS TO SUFFER– IDK HOW TO PAY THOSE KINDNESS BACK YALL DON'T MAKE ANOTHER "gatorade milo rice discourse" SCENARIO 😭

Man i need to stop typing my body's last hurrah is fast approaching. Can't wait to read this tomorrow and go "there are so many grammar mistakes here not even grammarly would make an attempt to understand this mess" hAHAHAHAH

Okay, okay, yeahhh

Happy new year everyone!!! I'm gonna wait like 21 more minutes and wait till the world does a factory reset for 2023. Hope yall have a wonderful year!!! Enjoy the fireworks!!! Yoimiya worked hard for those 😤

[tubborucho]

hi! do you have some clingy duo fic recs 👉🏻👈🏻? i don’t care how much ranboo or sbi is in it i just want clingy duo focused stuff

omg, my time has come😭

I do have a bunch of recommendations!!!

1. Home Again, Home Again

http://archiveofourown.org/works/30812927

It’s SBI+Tubbo fic that I reread when I need comfort. I don’t know what it is exactly about this fic, but it just so nicely written, that never misses to make me smile.

Clingy duo is a very important part of the story here, and that’s amazing.

It’s also aliens au!

2. Whispers of Lost Reality

http://archiveofourown.org/works/29440740

My favorite long clingy duo fic. It’s amazing for a lot of reasons:

It’s finished and 211k long

Very well-written

It is a Doctor Who au and I LOVE Doctor Who. But I am sure it can be read even if you know next to nothing about this show:3

Clingy duo as a dynamic is definitely the main focus. Not SBI, or Bench trio, even if all of them are present.

One thing I probably should warn though is that it’s definitely queerplatonic.

3. the warmest bed i’ve ever known

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42209223

Clingy duo. Through and through. Also personally I prefer to think of it as an actual c!clingy duo ending.

My favorite part of this fic is how the author got their characterization perfectly. Like, this is a snippet that I think just one of the best way to describe c!Tommy ever:

“In a moment, Tubbo realises that Tommy must have replaced them when he wasn't looking. That he must have picked them himself and brought the whole bouquet thousands of blocks just to quietly replace them and then leave. And this is something that is so quintessentially Tommy that it aches: to be loud about everything that doesn't matter and to not even mention the things that do.”

4. The Final Girl In The Horror Movie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40946610

Happy Death Day Au but make it clingy duo.

A very interesting short story, I think you might enjoy, because I did.

5. Wh(Y)o

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41586366

Not exactly just clingy duo, it adds a lot of other characters, but I highly recommend this one, especially when you feel sad pr tired.

It’s definitely a ‘feel-good’ story about creating home.

6. sunlight ascending (this was your place)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39730185

Surprisingly a Triple Ts fic. And imho it makes it only more awesome, because there’s not a lot of fics that concentrate on this trio in particular.

Basically another story about grabbing the ones you love and making home together.

7. not a thought behind those eyes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34155877

A fix-it mainly clingy duo + partly ranboo fic for dsmp. Tommy and Tubbo learning to trust each other again. Very sweet but heartbreaking.

(also this author legitimately scares me, all of their fics are like EXACTLY 10000 or 5000 long).

8. you look lonely (i can fix it)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32984131

Tommy and Tubbo talking and talking and talking through the resentment and avoidance, and it is a pretty angsty fic, but with a very hopeful ending.

Warning that it has a different view on bee duo marriage (aka that they rushed into it without realizing what marriage entails), which is very interesting to me personally.

9. no one’s problem (but yours)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32984131

And yet another fix-it c!clingy duo. Tommy wants to run, but Tubbo always finds him. I enjoyed it very much when I read it.

10. our souls burn bright (like the love we share)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34663768

Soulmate au!!!!! That’s kinda it lmao. But it is a very nice hurt/comfort fic.

11. One More Step Out of the Pit

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30353682/chapters/74827434

Superheroes au. It’s mainly SBI-focused, but once again, clingy duo plays an important role here. It’s also very fun to read. One of my favorite superpowers au in the fandom I would say.

12. I’ll Be The Watcher Of The Eternal Flame

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31339742

Tommy would trade anything for Tubbo’s safety. And this time he accidentally makes them gods in the process. Oops?

Anyway, I probably should pause here😅 I do have more, so whenever you need, you can ask me!

And if you will want to scream about any of them, my dms and asks are always open!💛

[b1mbodoll]

AAAAAAA OMG DO I HAVE A LONG ASS ASK FOR YOU. MY DATE/NOT DATE HAS JUST CONCLUDED....

So a little back story - I worked with this guy this past summer and like the first time we met I alr liked him. Like he was exactly my type. Like 100%. But I'm super shy (never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, never held hands with anyone) so I never really did anything obvious that I liked him bc I was nervous. We kind of flirted (maybe) a lot near the end of the summer. We texted a lot a lot but he ended up moving up to college for his apartment earlier than expected so we never got to see eachother after our last days of work. There was lots of drama on my end surrounding that trust. Like mental anguish bc I fumbled the bag hard.

Anyways. We start school respectively (I go to school in NY and him in TX) and we don't talk that often, just snap like everyday. But as the semester goes on we reply to each other's stories and have short, friendly convos more frequently. Flashforward to like, a week ago or something. I reply to his insta story and we start talking. He finds out that I'm going home for Thanksgiving and he is to so he asks me to hang out. This is odd bc we weren't close enough as friends for me to think that he would ask to see me.

Anyways again, I'm skipping details bc otherwise I'll never finish this lmao - the date/not date was like everything else we do. Vaguely romantic but could also be friendly. He picked me, we ate dinner and then went ice skating together. He walked up to my door to get me, held open doors for me, and opened the car door to walk me back to my house after we got back. But like - no moves were made. No attempts to hold my hand or kiss me. AT ALL. But like he also complimented my butterfly hair lips like sir 😭😭 idk what you want from me.

But now I'm feeling kind of tired of 6-7 months of not knowing where we stand with eachother. So I texted him afterwards saying "Thank you so much for tonight, I loved seeing you again! Although, I did want to know if it was a date or if it really was intended as just a hangout, bc it did seem like it sometimes? Either way, I'd love to meet up with you again if we're both in town!" He then liked bith of the thank you messages and replied, we definitely should. But then he replied to the daye/not date ask with - I don't know. I'll have to think about it. He then said something about it being more than he anticipated but still good, so idk if that means that it wasn't intended as a date but became one and he enjoyed it or if he meant it as a date but I fumbled the bag (I give just as many mixed signals bc I'm an anxious coward lmao) but it still ended up okay.

HOWEVER, I AM A GENIUS, LIKE RIZZ MASTER 1000. I accidentally left something in his car so tmmr morning he's gonna drive back to drop it off (It's like an hour round trip for him). And tomorrow is the day I will stop being a bitch. I'm gonna tell him that I'm interested but that I also do genuinely enjoy him as a person so like, however he intends to meet up with ne in the future I'll be okay with that.

So yeah. Story time over 🫶🫶🫶🫶 Sorry that it's actually so long but I remember how excited you were so I wanted to let you know how it went 💗💗💗💗

IM ON MY KNEES RN STOP u r so cute and agh!!!!!! i will be needing an update with whatever happens pretty please, honey 🤲

im so ☹️☹️☹️ u guys went ice skating ☹️ that’s so so so so fucking cute!!!!!! that actually is so cute my heart cant take it ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ but no moves being mad.. 🤬 yeah i need to have a stern talking to with this man!!! what r ur intentions with my little angel, you HEATHEN!!! hehe no but srsly dont be anxious sweetheart! i know its hard n way easier said than done, but you seem so wonderful and im sure he thinks that as well! im so glad you had a good time <3

rizz master 1000 has me crying omg ur too silly 😭 but him driving AN HOUR TO GIVE U UR THINGS STOP IT my little heart is so warm :( im proud of u for messaging him and asking for clarification about what the lil hangout was! n pls u r anything BUT a bitch!!!!! ur perfect and i hope things work out well with him!

dont apologize for he length! i love anything romance so inwas looking forward to this update!!!! wishing u the best of luck with him <3 mwah

[bonesandthebees]

Ider if i told u but i got my wisdom teeth removed today and that shit was the worst experience of my life ohmygod

The actual procedure went okay, though like i took an anti anxiety med that was supposed to knock me out but i was Fully Conscious LMFAO AND SO I ASKED THEM TO GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE BUT THEY WERE LIKE "naur bro ur fine" BC I WSNT FREAKING OUT A TON DJFKGKF WHICH I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR (tho it turned out to be a good thing bc those meds ended up making me . Hashtag emetophobia tw ifykwim)

BUT YEAH THE RECOVERY PROCESS WAS SHITTTT THEY TOLD ME I COULD TAKE OUT THE GAUZE IN 2 HRS AND SLEEP BC I WAS VERY TIRED BUT NOOOO IT WOUKDNT HEALLL FOR A WHOLE SIX ASS HOURS

Ahem sorry for yelling i was just very . Upset bc i wanted to sleep or even just drink fucking water man

BUT I DIDDD EVENTUALLY I DIDD WE REJOICEEE i think there was still a little bit of blood but i couldnt taste it anymore and i was really thirsty so shfkfkf and food (literally just broth lmao) made me feel a lot better so that's good

But yeah . -1100000 experience i would literally never recommend it (unless u have to, also from who I've talked to almost everyone else has had a better experience than me so if u are scared, do not worry king it won't be that bad. And even if it is like me, im here!! And alive!! And the nausea wasnt that bad, it kinda just came and went. Much better than migraines bro fr, migraines suck BALLS)

Like everyone kept telling me to watch a movie but that was stressing me out so what i ended up doing wss putting on a podfic (passerine podcast on yt woot woot, i listened to change fate by sircantus) and man it's actually wild how much it helped me. It helped calm my anxiety AND distract me from the pain. Once i did that existing felt less like suffering and more like an annoyance ahahah

OUGH I DIDNT EVEN GET ANY SILLY GOOFY MOMENTS EITHER BC I WASNT LOOPY AT ALL JUST TIRED DHFJFK

Anyways ty for letting me get that out of my system LMAOO

oh man this sounds literally horrible I'm so sorry icy 😭 that sucks that you weren't able to knock out even a little bit but at least the procedure itself wasn't horrible

god that sounds terrible though just sitting there for 6 hours waiting to be able to take the gauze out. that's so strange that it took so long. but at least you were able to listen to passerine podcast that's nice!!

everyone I know whose gotten their wisdom teeth removed had a better experience than this I am so sorry you got so unlucky.

I'm very grateful that I'm never gonna have to get my wisdom teeth removed. I had soooo much horribly painful dental work done to my mouth throughout my entire teen years that I now genuinely get bad anxiety anytime I'm in a dentist office even if I'm not there for myself, I straight up was getting anxious when I took my grandma there for a cleaning the other day 😭 and I keep putting off a recommended (minor) procedure bc of this anxiety it's badddd

I hope you're feeling better now though!!

[feelbokkie]

I'm literally writing this from a bus (this ride is gonna be 1.5 hours long 😔) and I've been having such a long struggle and realized it's legit only been 2 days since we were having our languages convo. I'm feeling a type of way since the field trip I've been planning for months was only like 60% successful today since the weather was finicky so a third of my students never got to do activities they paid for 🥲

But I saw you posted so much!: a smau, two chapters of Love Risk, and my Changbin angst request 💕 Everything's written so well and it's helping heal me (along with the 5 Star album that I only got to listen to on the bus ride this morning because I was so exhausted last night I fell asleep literally 15 minutes before it released 😭)

I have such hopes for Love Risk Changbin since Y/n is now the one initiating spending time with him, but who knows what'll happen at Hyunjin's birthday party??? My favorite part so far (outside the romancing and drama) though is the running joke of people going over to the other apartment to beat someone up lmao. There's no way that might come back in a more serious way later on... 👀

For my angst request, you hit so close to home and it's so cathartic! Cleaning up after people and making sure they're fed is like second nature to me but it's why I really am so so tired all the time. I'm glad Changbin is trying to fix things and they didn't break up at the end, so hopefully he continues to get himself together because it's not sustainable if things always have to get worse before it gets better.

Anyways, I hope you eventually got to finish listening to the whole album and that you're having a good day and not dying like me 😵 I gotta survive another 3 weeks of school but it'll be the most stressful 3 weeks yet so I might disappear sometimes but just know I'm still reading and enjoying everything you post 😘

-👻✌️

Has it really only been 2 days? Everything is blurring together, lol. I'm sorry that the weather hasn't been good and that not all of your student could enjoy what they wanted to do during their field trip.

I did post all that, and then I also went and reorganized a bit (still have a bunch more to do) so that way my post have more of a uniform look! On top of working on other request. And at least you were rested for the field trip!

Next chapter is going to be Hyun heavy. The way I have it planned, Y/N gets one chapter that's centered with either guy. But there is also time in between time where she hangs out with them. So much has happened in the story and it's been like 3 weeks timeline wise but I might have to fix the timeline a bit after chapter 8 bc I realized I didn't space some stuff out well. But also remember, Hyun and Y/N have know each other since their 1st year of university and have been living together since their 2nd so... 👀 The dancers dorm being violent and going over to the music major's dorm to attack one of them is an accidental bit I didn't realize I wrote in until Chapter 6, lol but it's my favorite part. Poor Innie just wants to live in peace!

It's scary how well I can read people, maybe I'm a witch 🤔🧙🏾‍♀️. I'm glad I was able to give you what you wanted with your request. I literally have been staring at it, and the other request sitting in my asks, trying to figure out how I was going to write it out. And then boom, idk what happened. Maybe a psychic link or something. Also you said that you would leave it up to me for the ending so I went with semi fluff but I kinda like looking at it as an open ending. In my head there is one version of events where Changbin does work to fix it, but then later falls back into old habits and that's it. Another version, Y/N takes the time for herself and gets scared that Changbin might not change and then breaks it off. But I'll leave interpretation up to you!

I've literally listened to nothing by the album since I got home from the store this morning. Even at the store I was listening to it. I'm currently on my 14th run of it 😭 I literally refused to go to bed last night (this morning) until I listened to it once all the way through. But my day has been good. I'm still waiting for my two pre-orders but I went to Target this morning when they opened to go buy the Target versions but when I go there the section was empty 😭. I'm not confrontational and talking to strangers ask for help is my weakness so I was set on going home empty handed but luckily my step dad was there and he asked one of the workers and she went to the back to get me the album. She said that people were lining up for the album so she stashed some, god bless her honestly. So my days been great, I organized my skz collection bc my shelf was looking like a bomb hit it, finished your request, worked on hyung line what are we, moved onto LR bc I hurt my own feelings with what are we, and now I'm taking a small break before I get back to work. And then I'm planning to edit my thesis today and get it ready to be submitted/published.

I hope your day is looking up. And I know three weeks is a long time but I hope they fly by!

[lovedlovingly]

okay so holy shit

I've been having the worst pain ever, and it was similar-ish to this spring when i had to go to the dentist and pull a tooth so i thought it was more tooth problems and they were also like "i could be this or that most likely and if it is we'll have to operate!" and i was just 🙃 this is hell, just make me better

but they couldn't find anything, and even gave me local anesthesia but the tooth we thought it was didn't stop the pain at all, i was so zombie not able to really grasp information it's gotten so worse like I'm so exhausted daily i can't even do one full thing & i need a nap because of the pain

i collapse because the pain drains me, wake up and can't fall asleep again because the pain is too much AND AND AND funny thing. painkillers don't beat it. what so ever💗

so i already told them I'd had a sinus infection in August so the dentist was like yeah we've done everything, it's not your teeth, your sinus infection just never went away and now giving u all this pain so imma prescribe antibiotics and call us if you're not better in a week

so i dragged myself, snail pace, to the nearest drug store (like 3 blocks but everything feels impossible when you're sick) guy at the counter sees I'm absolutely gone and in pain and he takes such careful time to explain it all to me but honestly? could barely hear him he was behind a fog wkwnkenr i know he wished me a speedy recovery 😭💗

so been able to take two of the pills by now my body is reacting well to them and I'm like 6% better no heavy head i can breathe again but rest of pain is there. I'm so tired so exhausted and it's gonna be a full week of just sleeping and recovering.

also since this has been here since august, just took a different form than like actually sitting in my sinuses like in the beginning - it means I've been in this extra pain whole time because this happened 1 week before i got ghosted lmao. so I've been grieving in double up pain and I'm lmaoooo 🔪🔪🔪

it's 5 am I've been loopy all day and it feels so good to have hope again like. if this works and takes it all it'll be one week of meds and then I'm betterrrrrrrr i want it so badly! please let this be it! I'm so over being in pain 😭

[seth-shitposts]

HOEJSDJDHXKXNJCJXJCHKEJDH

biTCH WE NEVER HAVE TIME FOR SHIT-

*deep breath* okay I'm just tired

Eeeeeee......

Ramblings below the cut, just about job stuff lmao

There's so much we would love to catch up on, but we never have the time because we're always working or recuperating to do it all again the next day.

And we're still trying to find a good work schedule balance. We love both our jobs dearly, and if we had to prioritize one, it would be the restaurant even though we're constantly pouring a lot of energy into the coffeeshop.

And both places have more rigid type schedules that don't align for us to be able to stagger them reasonably 😭

And the coffee place recently asked if we were still interested in taking up more shifts, since we had stated during the hiring process that it *might* be a possibility later down the line, but its no longer in the cards for us.

And I have to tell them that and it's just conversation that I can have I just am running our of the energy to

And as I'm typing this up right now I'm realizing just how much of a mental strain all the work has been putting on us. Like fuck. And we're trying to play a very careful balancing game with our availability to each place because if we're any less availability for either place then there's a good chance that they'll give the "we appreciate what you've done, but we need someone who can work these specific shifts". And that's more so for the restaurant, which I really don't want to leave because we love it and prefer it, it's just atm it doesn't give us all the hours we need.

And while trying to be as flexible as possible for the coffeeshop, I'm still heavily restrictive on the shifts I'm available for because if I give any more it would interfere too much with the restaurant.

We need both jobs, and we love both jobs, and one or the other would not be able to solely support us enough financially. We are at the barest minimum availability for each one atm but it might not be enough and we can't take on any more without taking from the other and I'm just tired of working 6-7 days a week😭

It would work out more if one or both of them weren't rigid in their shifts, but neither are able to do that.

But, hopefully there's a way from it. We just have to make sure everything falls right and make sure the proper prep for it is done.

The grandkids at the restaurant, most of em are leaving soon ish so we may be able to pick up evenings at the restaurant, and combining that with maybe opening Alice's small business, we might be able to make enough money to drop the coffeeshop down the line. Give our notice.

If we had more time in the day/week, it's not something we would worry about, but we already have a brain that consistently has us losing time or having to spend so much time recuperating from the amount we work that we can't do much else 😭😭😭

[daisybell17]

day 191: long DRAINING day

lmao where to even start? i got 2 hrs of sleep and got up at 6 am and headed to campus and started GRINDING ON THE WORK well i got coffee first then it was game on haha and after i had a FULL DAY of classes so that was fun 😭 i wont lie my brain actually drained from all that huhu and so after that hellscape of a day i finished up the 2 other parts of my assignment and im on the last major and hardest part and i am already dreading it haahahahahahahaha ok anyways pls pray for me, i got dinner with friends and then went home, cooked my lunch tomorrow and then cleaned a little. After i started picking outfits for tomorrow and planning what else i had for the week which isn’t much workload wise, just brain power wise HAHA so wish me luck AND this person i met at a party mssged me and so im stocked by that!! so yea gnight yall i am so tired