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shiftinginferno · 6 months ago

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ok i usually hate/don’t do these kinds of things cuz most questions are not applicable but F it doing this w Heathcliff. bc brainrot

💌 — N/A already. Mayyybe “technically” me bc of this one scene I scripted?

🪽 — Book (Wuthering Heights). Bruh I never know why I get drawn to ppl whom I become obsessed w/hyperfixed on. Prolly bc moody & mean mentally ill BPD sx4 ESI grown man and thus babygirl. & emotionally reserved/traumatized & violent & hot&sexy idk man all i know is i’m gna gobble him up

💄 — N/A but even if it were I’m not telling you that.

🥂 — I’m Lockwood (but like a “me” version, not completely canon so background changed; for example, American) so I meet him bc I travel to N. England on business & decide to rent Thrushcross Grange for a while. It progresses bc 1) Nelly tells me his whole life story so I learn all this sh abt him (even tho I’d still remember everyth I know in this reality) & 2) we visit each other multiple times in the span of abt a month or so (BEFORE first s3x happens) & have extreme sxl tension. He’s totally all sxlly pent up & he thinks I look a bit like Cathy & so he’s romantically reserved still obvi but thinks he can j F that away ig. But I’m all. basically how I feel abt him in this reality. needy & desperate & emotionally drawn to him & all that idk this feels personal why do u wanna know sm.

🤍 — What. Um ig mostly cuddling and effing. And hanging out so the “spending time” one too?

💍 — 1) Fine Dining, Digbar 2) Tonight (Act I), West Side Story 3) Misirlou, Dick Dale ver. 4) Inferno Op.5, Rona Castrioti 5) Unchained Melody 6) My Angel Put the Devil in Me, from Doctor Who 7) En Sólo un Segundo, Amaral 8) Sweetest Chill, S&tB 9) Ram Ranch, Grant MacDonald

🌹 — Erm ig that he can have a life still, after Cathy, & he doesn’t j have to live in misery waiting for death? & that he’s capable of being loved even how he is even w everyone else hating him? Other way around: N/A can’t think of anyth + don’t care

🦢 — What does this even mean. I have lots of events scripted that take place moreso in the “future” in my DR (several months after my arrival) but it’s kinda complicated considering some lore/mythology I made up for the DR. Is that what u want?? It’s in my Wuthering Heights DR post on my shiftsta.

👠 — Idk anything long as I’m w him ig … but one of my fav scripted events is prolly timetraveling w him to the 90s & taking him to see Pulp Fiction in theaters … I’d also like to take him modern clothes shopping to see what he’d choose. Those wouldn’t be at night tho but all I got.

🗒️ — Heathcliff, I have several drawings I’ve done of him & they can be seen on here. I tagged them so j search on my account if u wanna see ig…

💋 — Bruh literally anything, everything, meeting him, interacting w him in any way, but MOST excited? Prolly rhe beginning month(s), the gay extreme sxl tension. I have some fire scenarios scripted, trust… 2nd part of question: “And why?” Srsly am I in school rn why do I have to write an entire dissertation with my reasons why. But ig the reason is it’s thrilling & more emotionally exciting.

🍒 — No

🍷 — Isn’t this kinda similar to previous questions. Okay i guess erm doing it. And hanging out in general.

🪞 — I’m not doing that, also N/A what wld I even put. Ig those paintings ppl have done thruout the yrs of Princess Tamara and the Demon of Lermontov’s “Demon.” I’m a monstrous nonhuman being (w cloaking ability) in my DR so the general outline of the poem feels fitting. I like the idea that he may feel everyone else sees him as a monster (bc they literally tell him that to his face) but I reveal myself to him & he sees that I literally am one. And I’M the singular living person willing to love him. & in my clawed grasp, cocooned in my wings, he feels more like the meek human he is & less like a wicked devil. Anyway haven’t read the poem but would like to, it always really called to me. But I wanna get a physical copy first.

❤️‍🩹 — Like body odor, I’d imagine. Or I guess if post-bath, perhaps like a mix of nothing and soap. Do you think? 🤨

💭 — What ? What like, u mean in my DR? I don’t rly know anyone else in that country/area close enough to tell them abt it, plus it’s not exactly a time pd where I wanna be telling ppl abt that, plus the other ppl living at the Heights & Grange wld prolly catch on at some point, what’s the point. Ig “properly” the first ppl… my family maybe when I travel back to America w him??

Finished omg I only did it cuz it seemed not as mentally taxing as other question lists I’ve seen 🙌

⪩⪨﹐ᴅʀ ꜱ/ᴏ ᴀꜱᴋ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ⁞ ˎˊ˗

shifting ask game focused on you and your dr s/o reblog for asks ↻ ‧₊˚.

💌 — who confessed first and how did it happen?

🪽 — what is your s/o from? (made-up, media, book, movie etc…) and why did you feel drawn to them?

💄 — what are petnames you have for eachother?

🥂 — how did you two met and how did you relationship progress?

🤍 — what are your love languages VS. your s/o’s? How do you show theirs and how do they show yours?

💍 — what are some songs that makes you think of them?

🌹 — what is something you have taught your s/o (or will teach) and what is something they have taught you?

🦢 — what do you see in the future for you and your s/o?

👠 — what is your ideal date night with your s/o?

🗒 — who is your s/o and what are some photos you really like of them?

💋 — what are you most excited to experience with your s/o and why?

🍒 — do you have any inside jokes with your s/o or funny scenarios?

🍷 — what do your s/o and you like to do together?

🪞 — what are some photos that depict your relationship with your s/o?

❤️‍🩹 — what does your s/o smell like?

💭 — who was the first person you told after getting with your s/o?

divider credits : [ Cherries & Bust ] [ Lace & Bows ]

#shiftblr #reality shifting #shifting to wuthering heights #shifting realities

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allylikethecat · 10 months ago

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ally! i do not know how you do it but with every ducklings update you make me feel even more sorry for our fictional!matty - as i am unable to wrap that man in a blanket (him being fictional and all that) i must insist that fictional!george take up that responsibility as soon as possible bc the poor guy really needs it.

also i love what an unreliable narrator he is bc whilst its very sad to see how insecure he is about his relationships with everyone right now it is also very satisfying for me and my love of angst🫡 the way you portray his anxiety & how overwhelmed he is right now with like everything is so so good and i just hope he gets some fictional!george cuddles soon bc this man is really going thru it!!!

i was so excited to see this update lol & you must know that you are single-handedly responsible for making tuesday my fave day of the week. also!! i apologise for my absence in ur asks as real life & surgery recovery has been kicking my ass but ATKH is quickly becoming my fave fic ever and i’m so loving how fictional!matty and fictional!george are developing in that one. it’s so fun and refreshing to see fictional!george’s POV and how obsessed he is becoming with fictional!matty lol (also that backstory is SO sad and i can’t believe ur only planning to make it SADDER)

to make this ask even more obnoxiously long…..talk shop tuesday!!! i’ve actually been thinking about this one for a while lol and it’s about fictional!george’s family in the infection-verse — i’m lowkey obsessed with that dynamic, especially between him and his sisters, and was wondering if you ever thought about them post christmas fic and if they ever interacted again or actually bother to show up at one of his shows and try and make amends, or does he kick them off the guest lists and cut them off completely??? (idk if u can tell but i love that fic and ive been thinking about it a lot!!!!)

hope you’re doing well!!!

—💌💌💌

AHHH HELLO DEAR 💌 ANON!

Never apologize for having a real life! I hope that your surgery went well and that you are on the mend! I am sending you all the love and good healing vibes and am so happy to see you in my inbox again!

Thank you so much for your kind words about the new Ducklings chapter! Fictional!Matty is truly a disaster and a half and well... it will be a little bit longer until we get to the blanket wrapping part but it will happen eventually! He just needs to make it worse and make some bad decisions first.

I LOVE unreliable narrators omg Fictional!Matty in Ducklings is one of the worst ones (he is only rivaled by Fictional!George in ATKH lol) and I love that we sometimes get to visit someone else's prospective and they're just like... he... needs help lol (It's also fun because in ATKH we *only* see unreliable narrator Fictional!George... we have *no idea* what Fictional!Matty is really like - just how he looks through the Fictional!George lens!)

AHHH Speaking of All the King's Horses- thank you SO MUCH for reading and I'm so honored that it is becoming one of your favorites - it is truly *my* favorite at the moment to work on and I get so excited every time I open the google doc - Fictional!Matty in that universe has just been given the absolute shortest straw in life and has been through so much in his 27 years. I was *so excited* for the chapter before last and to reveal what actually happened the night of the The Accident. If any of my Fictional!Matties needs a hug it is ATKH Fictional!Matty lol Hopefully he gets one soon (and hopefully he enjoys it while it lasts!)

HELL YEAH TALK SHOP TUESDAY I love the entire concept of Talk Shop Tuesday SO MUCH, so thank you EXTRA MUCH for sending me an ask about it! I'm so happy to hear you're still enjoying Infection Verse Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George - while ATKH might be my favorite at the moment that universe is just, so special to me and I love them so much I don't know how I will ever leave them behind. Now to answer your questions:

I think that things will always be tense between Fictional!George and his middle sister Olivia - she's just *a lot* and doesn't know how to admit she is wrong / make the first step in making amends. However, she and her *much* younger boyfriend Henry eventually break up and Henry DOES reach out to Fictional!George and Fictional!Matty to apologize for his role in how unwelcome they felt that Christmas. He comes to their shows when they play in his city. Olivia does not. Amelia (the oldest sister) and her husband Jack, just continue to send Christmas cards as if nothing has changed and therefore, Fictional!George DOES leave them on the guest list. They eventually show up with Rose and Grace at a show. They're never *close* but they do have a relationship and see each other when they're in the same place (especially after Ava is born.)

Thank you SO MUCH for sending in this incredible ask omg I apologize for writing you a novel in response! I got extremely excited lol I hope that you continue to enjoy my fics and that you have THE BEST week and that your Tuesday is also wonderful!

❤️Ally

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un2-verse · 4 years ago

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BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)

Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader

genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol

Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!

wordcount: 2.2k

taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine

a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!

series masterlist

part one part two

The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.

Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.

It was the only face behind the killings.

But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.

“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”

“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”

You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.

You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.

“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”

You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.

“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”

“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.

A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”

Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.

You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.

“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”

Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.

You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.

It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.

For the first time in forever, you looked alive.

Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.

“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”

Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.

You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”

Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”

The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.

You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.

Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.

He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.

Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.

This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.

It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.

The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.

After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.

They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.

A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.

A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.

Billy.

Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”

A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”

With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”

The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.

“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.

“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.

“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.

“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”

The subject's face dropped.

“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”

“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”

The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.

“What is this? What fucking game?”

“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”

“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”

A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”

“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”

He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.

A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”

Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”

Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.

Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.

He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.

That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?

[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]

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paradife-loft · 3 years ago

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ok ok ok hard to pick one but give me He Xuan

Eyyyyyyy~ *hands u a soggy ghost*

(also requested by @fatalism-and-villainy!)

one aspect about them i love

..........well this feels a little weird to just start with right out of the gate, but: fucked up relationship with food, my beloved 🖤🖤🖤 Like. He Xuan's issues are very much orthogonal to my own, so it's not exactly projection per se, but - there's something cathartic about writing (for a loose definition of "writing") someone who I see as having obsessive thoughts/actions on the same topic. Especially because that’s not really something I’ve encountered much in fictional characters before, full stop? So it just hits a button in my brain that’s like, yes, mine now. *shrug*

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

Do I even know what people think about various characters in TGCF fandom? Idk. But hmmm... I think one thing that doesn't tend to come across to me in a fair amount of the fic I've opened, is that they have just... absolute bonkers wild mental discipline in a lot of respects. Not everywhere; I very much see them as having, like, ghost!depression and that definitely affects some things about areas where ~willpower~ isn't going to be enough - but the way they can have something they've decided they need to do, and then shut off all care for any physical or emotional signals telling them to holy fuck stop - ? (see: pre-death rampage; Mt. Tonglu; the civil service exams; the whole entire revenge plot) - like I think a lot of the other characters who do intense shit like that have a bit more of an... outward focus, that keeps them going through adversity? But He Xuan, especially later in life (death), feels to me like they subsist largely on this internally-directed iron grip they have on their own actions (....until they don't), but then a lot of people seem to write them as being more... changeable and easily softened, in a way that feels off.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

They were not about to display anything more revealing than perfectly polite Nice Young Man courtesy to their fiancee around others/in a public setting, but privately-speaking, they loved her very deeply and it was a big deal for their sense of what being a good person was that they should be able to provide for her materially and also just. Make sure she was fundamentally safe and happy and loved. In life, she was essentially their best friend for years. The idea of actually getting married and being a husband was emotionally weird and fraught in a way they didn't understand at the time, but it was... a structure that joined together several different sets of values they cared for, both personal/emotional and like, existing as a part of a societal/relational fabric, and so they offered to bring her into their family that way. Sure worked out great, right?? :D

one character i love seeing them interact with

I mean. There's the obvious candidate here, as far as sheer volume of screen time and emotional connection, but since that goes more or less without saying - I'm actually going to mention Xie Lian here?? Partially just because so many of their scenes end up having this very funny subtext on reread of "oh fuck why am I getting mixed up with this guy again, this is the last person I want to be around, I'm literally going to have my eyeballs flayed if any of my shit falls on him even by accident" - but also because in a story where so many things are !!!! 800 YEARS EMOTIONALLY FRAUGHT BACKSTORY!!!!! - He Xuan and Xie Lian's reactions to each other are.... not. And I feel like it always just gives me a nice little amount of Extra Flavoring to see characters interact with others who aren’t The Most Emotionally Significant Individual to them.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

At least as far as on-screen goes? Jun Wu. Primarily because - what does "Ming Yi" look like when interacting with the whole... structure of the heavenly court?? And then there's also the "who knows or suspects what about who's secret identit(ies)," and... relative ghost king power levels, and the way Jun Wu is definitely using but also pulling strings for He Xuan behind the scenes.... What does that look like up close. I want to know. 👀👀👀

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

Okay, you all wanted some beefleaf here, right? XD So, some beefleaf: As far as Shi Qingxuan has a certain bit of a hobby of investigating things that don't seem quite right, poking at potential corruption among the heavens? I think He Xuan is at least some of the time the one (secretly) feeding her snippets of information that get the whole ball rolling. With the number of spy clones they have lying around, they’re in position to have a lot of leads on who might be up to questionable stuff, and if they don’t really give a fuck about the gods themself... I think corruption in general does kind of piss them off, under the surface of things. And it provides a way for them to get close to SQX because she likes having them come along with her, and it gives them another way to observe who she is as a person. (It’s less aggravating for them to see her doing something actually useful than just flitting about doing bouncy leisure activities~! all the time.) - And then also: it’s a fun parallel/call-forward, to me, with how they lay out the trail of crumbs for her during the actual Black Water arc, if that’s sort of like... a culmination of something they’ve already done before, in another form, but this time the stakes have just multiplied an order of magnitude.

(Also: could it be another refraction of the whole “Jun Wu dumping plot hooks in front of Xie Lian” aspect of the novel’s A-story? Perhaps 🙂 *holds like the potato* I just think it’s neat.)

#ask meme responses #hua cheng's ghostly down with cis bus #He Xuan #headcanoning #veliseraptor #fatalism-and-villainy

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judesstfrancis · 4 years ago

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What are your thoughts on analog horror? Things like ‘Local 58’ or ‘The Walter Files’ hope you don’t mind me asking but I like seeing your thoughts on horror content

oh I am endlessly fascinated by them. they're not something that I personally can watch and consume just as they are on like the same level as a show or a movie but I'm absolutely obsessed with watching analysis videos on them

which I think is part of how the genre is made actually?? like there's this quality to them that u can tell is emulating the style of like strange broadcast interruptions/just weird as hell youtube videos that no one quite knows what they're for. and I'm not knocking the effort that went into these, or saying they don't have an underlying story, bc they clearly do and a lot of them are exceptionally well executed, but a big part of the genre I think is the expectation that people are going to deep dive into it, on a level that they wouldn't if it were just presented straight on as a regular horror story.

bc they're presented in this way that they just exist. local 58, while fictional, is presented in a way where it's like This Is Real. and I think that's a huge byproduct of being posted to the internet actually?? like a big majority of this type of horror originates on youtube and I think that gives them all the unique ability to be read as a real, genuine thing that exists, rather than if u watched it on netflix or hulu and u were like yeah obv this was written and produced for entertainment

and things like that lend SO well to engagement in the form of like video essays. bc there's genuinely just something so satisfying in deep diving into some Weird Internet Thing and figuring out what's really going on

I personally mostly just watch the analysis videos (I have one on the walten files saved to watch for tomorrow and I am SO excited omg) just bc for me my enjoyment of them lies mostly in learning the mystery and it's more fun for me if I watch like a documentary style video essay on them. but I am genuinely obsessed with the genre in general, I hope people never stop making analog horror. it's a really neat subgenre and I think for a lot of people (or at least just me lol) it really satisfies that part of your brain that wonders what the fuck is going on behind some of those weird youtube videos u stumble across

there's simply nothing more exciting to me than watching other people do a deep dive on weird shit, and I really think part of the formula for analog horror is creating something not solely for that purpose but at least with the idea in mind that u want other people to interact with it in that way. which is wildly endearing to me bc I don't think that's something that would work in any other genre or format

#like obv people do video essay analyses on like stranger things and all that all the time #but like on the level of movie length analyses on things like local 58 or like gemini home entertainment?#it's a completely different interaction and I love it so much #asks #anon #horror tag #long post

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arofili · 4 years ago

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how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that

these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)

how’d u get into writing?

not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!

like, writing fic

around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?

my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!

and being part of the silm community,

soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.

I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.

anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.

it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3

being Known, that stuff?

so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.

really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.

also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?

I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.

basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!

for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!

in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.

sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.

um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!

OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.

I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!

and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.

anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3

#silm #silm fandom #silmarillion #fan culture #tmi anna #(for real this time sjdfhdkfh)#tefain nin #long post #anon #answers

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inadaydream99 · 5 years ago

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hi! Can you write an angst/fluff one shot about Vernon? thank u❤️

Hi, thanks for requesting! I hope you enjoy this fluffy oneshot 😁

Title: Real or fake?

Plot: embarrassed about having to attend a family even single after telling your family you have a boyfriend you rope in one of your closest friends to help you out.

———————————————————————

You are sitting on the sofa with your face in your hands, a deep sigh escaping your lips as you feel deflated after finishing on the phone with your mother.

She had phoned to remind you about the upcoming family gathering at the weekend and how she was so excited to finally meet your new boyfriend. Just to clarify, you do not have a boyfriend. You are still very much single and regretting the lie you told your parents on your last visit.

It was a heat of the moment thing. You felt pressured and it just blurted out. Never thinking they would want to meet this fictional boyfriend of yours so soon anyway.

You think back on the night it happend, you were sat round the dinner table, your sister and her boyfriend telling the story about how they recently got genaged. Consumed in your own thoughts you zoned out of the conversation. Your sister had always been better at everything and as it turns out, she was also better a having a relationship. It’s not that you have commintment issues, it just you have never found the right guy.

The lie came about because your mother had asked about your love life. You remember looking up at you sister, who was staring at you with a knowing smirk, causing you to feel anger bubble up inside of you. For once you wanted to feel good about yourself and so the lie just happened.

Of course in the present you definitely didn’t feel good about yourself. You can just imagine your sisters face as you enter the gathering unaccompanied, the I knew you were lying smirk that will be proudly on her face.

As you take a deep huff of air there is a knock on your door. Heaving yourself off the sofa you go to see who has disturbed your session of self pitty.

You open the door to see one of your closest friends Vernon standing there all happy and smiley.

“Oh, hey Vernon. What are you doing here? I thought you had work?” You mumble, his happy expression only making you feel more glum.

“I finished early and wanted to see my favourite person. What’s wrong?” Vernon replys, his smile turning into a frown as he sees your sluggishness.

“Parents being obsessed with my love life, what’s new.” You sigh as you open the door wider to allow him inside.

As you slump back onto the sofa, Vernon sits beside you waiting for you to explain the situation.

“It’s my fault really, I was jealous and it was just meant to be a small white lie and now it’s gone too far and I’m so embarrassed.” You start to rant.

Vernon takes your hand in his to get your attention and chuckles as you stop talking and look at him expectantly.

“(Y/N) you’re ranting, tell me what happnened.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes at him making a joke, not in the mood to join in and laugh.

“I told my parents that I have a boyfriend and now they want me to bring him to the family gathering this weekend.” You state and bury your head into the sofa cushion.

“But you don’t have a boyfriend.” Vernon smirks at you.

Becoming irritated by his obvious remark you grab a cushion and throw it at him.

“I know that! What am I gonna do. My sister is gonna never let me live this down.” You whine pathetically.

“Well, why don’t I go with you? Then you won’t be turning up on your own.” Vernon suggests with a shrug.

“But my parents know you and they’ll know we aren’t dating and everyone will think we are a couple and-”

“(Y/N) you’re ranting again.” Vernon cuts you off with a laugh.

“What’s wrong with you taking me? I already know your parents so it won’t be awkward talking to them and your sister will think you have a boyfriend. I don’t mind them thinking that. I would actually be honoured.” Vernon explains making you finally crack a smile as he bows his head at the end, extending his arm and taking yours in it.

“You’re stupid you know that.” You mock with a hearty laugh at the end.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.” Vernon teases back.

~~~~

It’s the day of the dreaded family gathering and you and Vernon have just knocked on the door of your parents home.

You turn to Vernon with a nervous smile and Vernon takes your hand comfortingly in his, sensing your apprehension.

“We’ve got this. Just try to be as natural as you can.” Vernon says just before the door swings open to reveal your mother.

“Hello (Y/N). And Vernon! Oh what a lovely surprise.” Your mother exclaims in joy as you give her a hug and enter the hallway.

“So you are (Y/N)’s boyfriend?” Your mother asks in intrigue as you look at Vernon.

“Yeah, like I said I have a boyfriend.” You laugh with unease as you answer your mother’s question.

“Yeah, we realised that we both had feelings for each other a while ago and it kind of just naturally progressed from there.” Vernon explains to your mother as she looks at the both of you happily.

“Oh I can’t wait for your father to see you both!” Your mother giddily says.

You follow her into the living room hand in hand as you take a deep breath to prepare yourself for all the questions you are surely going to be asked.

~~~~

You are currently sat on the sofa by the window watching as Vernon is in deep discussion with your father. They are both laughing and chatting and you feel a warmth in your chest at seeing their interaction.

You had spent the last hour sitting together, trying to act like a couple as best you could in order to make it believable.

You had never realised it before but watching Vernon now you couldn’t deny how attractive he is. I mean, you obviously know he is very good looking and that lots of girls would take any opportunity to date him. But as one of his closest friends, you had never looked or thought about him in that way before.

Just as you are zoning out your sister sits down beside you.

“I know Vernon isn’t really your boyfriend.” She states with an evil smirk and you turn your head to face her in astonishment.

“What, of course he is.” You scoff and roll your eyes.

“Yeah right, like you could get someone like him. No offence (Y/N) but he’s way out of your league. You’re punching above your weight.” She mocks.

You try not to give her any reaction but you must admit it did hurt you a little.

Just as you are about to reply with a snarky comeback Vernon takes your hand in his and pulls you to stand up, his arms wrapping around you protectively as he looks down at your sister in disgust.

“If anyone is punching above their weight then it’s me. Jealousy isn’t a good colour on you.” Vernon spits before turning to lock eyes with you, his harsh, icy eyes instantly melting to soft, warm ones. His hand moves from your waist to caress your cheek as he stares at you in a way that you have never seen from him before.

“Let’s go somewhere a bit more private.” He whispers as your noses touch.

All you can do is nod in response, your abitilty to form a coherent sentence long gone.

Once you are in the hallway Vernon turns to you and pulls you in by the waist.

“I’m sorry if I scared you about what I said back there, but I was telling the truth.” He looks down at you with adoration and you feel your heart pound out of your chest.

“Actually, I liked it.” You giggle as your eyes fall to look at the floor, feeling shy under his intense gaze.

You feel Vernon’s hand under your chin as he lifts your face to look back at him, his lips so close to yours they are practically touching.

After what feels like an eternity, Vernon finally presses his lips onto yours. The kiss is soft and sweet, his gentle hand on your cheek pulling you in deeper.

As you pull away you open your eyes to find Vernon smirking down at you.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he chuckles slightly awkwardly. You smile and look at him through your lashes.

Your only response is to pull him back in for another kiss, this time a little more force behind it.

As you break for air you hear a gasp and turn your head to see your sister with a look of disgust. She strops off after she sees you’ve noticed her and you giggle.

“At least she knows you’re not lying now.” Vernon laughs as you take his hand and lead him back into the living room.

#seventeen requests #seventeen x reader #seventeen vernon #seventeen fluff #seventeen oneshot #seventeen scenarios #svt fluff #svt requests #svt oneshot #svt vernon #kpop fluff #kpop oneshots #kpop requests #kpop scenarios

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o-o0613 · 5 years ago

Text

Oop another one that I said I would do later and forgot about until now. Tagged by @honestlyprettyconfused once again, thank you~~~

Get to Know Me

Rules: Answer some questions and tag some bloggers you want to know better.

NAME: Sarah

NICKNAME: n/a

GENDER: Female

SEXUALITY: Straight

HEIGHT: 5'7" or 5'8"

LANGUAGE(S): English, Arabic (I can understand it well but I don't practice speaking so I'm bad at that) & I can read Korean

NATIONALITY: American

CURRENT TIME: 10:17 AM

FAVORITE SEASON: Winter or Spring (even though where I live we only have like 1.5 seasons 😭)

FAVORITE FLOWER: I've never really thought of this but maybe Forget-me-nots? Or Jasmine? Or Lillies? (I want a spider lilly tattoo) (I also love cherry blossoms)

FAVORITE SCENT: Jasmine or Cucumber Melon

FAVORITE COLOR: Purple 💜

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Foxes

FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER: Right now it's Oikawa Tooru from Haikyuu! (before him it was Aomine Daiki from Kuroko no Basuke) (Kakashi Hatake is also up there)

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: like 5

COFFEE, TEA OR HOT CHOCOLATE?: Tea (I hate iced tea tho)

# OF BLANKETS: 1 super thick one (but it's perpetually hot here so I kinda sleep with it but mostly kick it off by morning)

DOGS OR CATS?: Cats (I like dogs but I hate being licked so, even tho my cat probably hates me because I annoy her)

DREAM JOB: Talent Agent/Manager or Traveling Nurse

# OF FOLLOWERS: 93 (┐(´д`)┌)

BLOG ESTABLISHED: like many years ago, maybe 5? But I started actively using it again a few months ago (I always use it then stop every few months, usually when I become obsessed with something new)

REASON FOR URL: uh no real reason, I couldn't think of anything so I picked a face and a number (is it BTS debut date, I totally had no idea)

RANDOM FACT: I hate this question lol uhhhhh I've basically taken a two year break from school (mostly because I've been lazy, unmotivated and working too much) but I decided for some reason when the country is shut down that would be the perfect time to talk with counselors and continue school lmao oops

I'm tagging the same people I always tag because you interact with my blog and ily for that (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ Sorry if u hate me for always tagging you now lmao (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

@cathgotyourtongue @tamcitrus @redroseinsanity @emigmatic @thelittlebirdthattoldyou @wordswithinmoments @losingdarkness @aespiss @twirlergirl1206

#aboume

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ryqoshay · 5 years ago

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How did u think of the username ryqoshay?

The tl;dr version is that I was tired of Ricochet typically being taken in the games I was playing years ago and decided to rework it into something a bit more unique. And she grew into something more.

The full story will be under the cut as my trips down nostalgia lane tend to run long.

Ricochet started off as a character I created for a story I was writing years ago based on games I played as a child. The games were not electronic, rather based around physical toys and the characters and events were made up on the spot by my friend and I.

While our games generally focused on battles and conflict between two established groups, the story I decided to write focused more on the characters of the protagonist group and their interactions. Worth mentioning here that the focus group was a crew of mercenaries as it will come into play later. I realized that the current cast was comprised mainly of front line fighters and wanted to flesh out the team with some back line and support members; medical, recon, intel, etc.

Enter Ricochet. I liked the idea of taking a stereotypical stoic and battle-hardened sniper character and turning it on its head by making a hyperactive, adorable little girl. A character whose slightly warped idea of cute included heavy weaponry and thus treated her gun like a teddy bear, even going so far as bringing it to bed with her.

The name itself had a dual meaning as it referred both to how she was always “bouncing off the walls” and an intentionally ironic reference to a typically undesirable outcome for a sniper. Her given name at the time was Rebecca; Becky is fine, but don’t call her Becca or Reba.

I don’t recall if I addressed her parents in this iteration, but Rico entered the team under the care of Tackleberry. Yes, that Tackleberry; he was my friend’s favorite character from Police Academy, though I believe what I’ve turned him into maintains only the name and obsession with weapons. I already had him as the former legal guardian of another character, so I figured giving him someone new to oversee would be fine.

Then I stopped writing that story. And it remains on indefinite hiatus to this day.

City of Heroes was released and a friend convinced me to join. I was drawing a blank in character development when I stumbled across the Assault Rifle/Devices build and Rico jumped up out of my memories. The name Ricochet was taken so I tacked on -chan to the end as I was quite addicted to anime by this point in my life. This also gave me the excuse to weeb out and insert random Japanese words into her speech patterns as her linage was now half Japanese and half U.S. born Caucasian.

I designed a diminutive, blonde girl sporting high twintails and a dark purple flak jacket outfit with black accents. Her short backstory described a her as having two heroes for parents and wanting to live up to her family legacy. And as said parents were still around, Tack dropped out of the picture.

I liked Rico so much I started translating her over to other games as well as using her name in my overall online presence, as small as it was then. Ricochet itself was pretty much always taken, so I often had to modify the name in some way, be it by adding -chan or shortening it to Rico or whatever.

Then came the game changer; City of Villains. It came as no surprise that Ricochet was taken, but I was getting tired of using -chan and my other methods, so I decided to create something new. This would be the first time I used Ryqoshay, an intentional misspelling of Ricochet for a character.

Since CoV allowed a short backstory like its predecessor, I knew I had to come up with an in-universe reason for the name change; I also still fancied myself a writer, even though I hadn’t really written much in a while. I figured a villain might do well with a more tragic backstory than a hero, so I offed her parents. The character limit didn’t allow for specifics on the where, when, why and how, but I made sure to mention that she took the first letter of their names - Yuri and Quentin - to rename herself Ryqoshay.

It was at this point, Ryqo also finally received a family name, Bouteillevoix, and with it, a change in linage to half Japanese and half French. I don’t recall the specifics of how I settled on Bouteillevoix iteself, but I do remember liking the dissonance of an outspoken character bearing a name meaning “bottle voice” as if it were to be contained in some way.

For her aestetic design, I swapped out the black for white in her outfit to use the Dark Is Not Evil and Light Is Not Good tropes; dark purple remained, however. This also meant her hair went from blonde to black. And her twintails went from high to low in an attempt to appear a bit more mature, though she maintained her high energy personality.

Also, while not mentioned in her in-game bio, Tack was able to reenter the picture as a Commando, the highest level Summon of Ryqo’s Mastermind power set.

While I wasn’t actively writing stories about her, I was certainly fleshing her out as a character with notes and whatnot. Quentin and Yuri also got some attention as I ended up designing alternate dimension versions of them for me to play. And as the alt-oholic I am in MMORPGs, I also came up with some alternate dimension versions of Ryqo herself; Ryqoshot, a lonewolf gunslinger using the Corrupter’s Assault Rifle power set and Ryqoaraignée, an Arachnos Crab Spider build who was more closely aligned with Arachnos than her other versions.

With all of the alts I was creating, I decided to use the game’s guild mechanics to pass stuff among them. Thus, Ryqo’s Roughnecks was born, named after Rico’s Roughnecks of Starship Troopers fame. Joining members included L4t3ncy_0, a mechanical Mastermind; Recipere, - Rx for short - a thug Mastermind who kept her crew alive with healing powers; Yozakura, a ninja Stalker serving as Ryqo’s bodyguard and Vivian Sexon, a dual-wielding Brute and villainous translation of a dual-wielding Scrapper from my CoH days.

Not long after, a friend invited me to join a game of D&D. The team needed a door kicker so I brought in Vivian as a brutish barbarian with a split personality, Sanguine, taking control when she raged. My intended two paragraph introduction quickly turned into two pages, which eventually turned into twenty and started translating over other Roughnecks; Ryqo included.

Ryqo dropped her sniper rifles in favor of a more theme appropriate bow and arrow. L4t3ncy_0′s call sign was changed to Nullsiver Luna and she became an artificer who struggled against the world’s tech limits. Recipere, not surprisingly, took on the role of a cleric. Yozakura kept her ninja trappings, but started playing by the Bodyguard Crush trope as I was deep into yuri shipping at that point thanks to the likes of Lucky Star and others.

Even after the game stalled out, I continued to work with the DM to build their world in which all of their games took place. The Roughnecks gained a permanent place in the timeline, extending both before and after Ryqo’s time as their leader, as well as a permanent base of operations, which eventually grows into a full fledged township later at the behest of Ryqo (spoilers should I ever get around to posting these stories.)

My online presence was growing and with it, Ryqo. She became my main when I returned to WoW, a Blood Elf Hunter running around with a giant Devilsaur as a pet; yes, she would think it was cute. (She was changed to Human when I followed by guild to another server that needed more Alliance players.) My Demon Hunter main in Diablo 3 was named Ryqoshay, as a surprise to absolutely none of my friends at the time.

Aion was a strange exception insofar as I wasn’t fond of the Ranger class for my primarily solo playstyle. I still made said ranger and of course named her Ryqoshay, but my main in that game was a Chanter known as Ameliorator, a more fanciful version of MedKit, the character for whom Tack was a legal guardian in the story mentioned above. However, I still played out the Ryqo persona on the forums because I enjoyed it and I’d long forgotten Med/Ame’s personality from that old story.

When Love Live started to take over my life and I found Sukutomo, I went with Ryqoshay as my screen name for reasons I don’t fully recall. I started this tumblr account as a way to post some “Idolsona” stuff where I translated Ryqo into a LL style idol, along with Yoza, Luna and a newer Roughneck, Flash Pyre. And when I started writing my fics, it was easy to use the account I already had here and then keep the name when I went over to AO3.

Hindsight being 20/20, I probably should have chosen Nico as my primary icon, as her appearance is closer to Ryqo’s than Maki’s, even if she wears her twintails high like Rico instead of Ryqo’s low tails. Neither Nico nor Maki have grey eyes as I’ve given Ryqo, so that wouldn’t fit, but none of the LL characters do thus far. That said, Maki prefers purple more than Nico and Ryqo isn’t much a fan of pink, so maybe that played into things? Perhaps someday I will commission one of my favorite artists to draw Ryqo as I envision her and start using her as my avatar, someday… maybe.

Also worth mentioning that NicoMaki has had a heavy influence on how I envision Ryqo and Yoza, and vice versa. Heck I’ve directly translated some NicoMaki doujin into scenes for my D&D story and sprinkled some RyqoYoza stuff into HtHaN. With HtHaM being a more D&D’ish setting, I may very well steal some stuff from my D&D story for it. Perhaps Luna or Vivian might make an appearance? I’ve already referenced Ryqo when Maki remembers hearing stories of an 11 year old girl taking over a mercenary guild. As always, I shall follow where my µ’s muse leads.

In conclusion, while Maki - with Nico very close behind - may hold a position as my favorite fictional character not created by me, Ryqo easily tops that position as my favorite overall; yes, the fact that I created her absolutely factors into this bias. There are reasons I don’t bring her up often - beyond using her as a screen name, posting through her persona on a few forums and the Idolsona thing - not the least of which include a fear of her being labeled a self-insert or Mary Sue or whatever, as I’ve seen some decidedly distasteful reactions to such characters online. But there is also the fact that the bulk of her development has been within a world not designed by me, but by one of my DMs, and I would want to ensure they would be fine with me posting stuff about said world; I’m sure they would be fine, but I haven’t gotten around to asking. Perhaps someday, I might post more about Ryqo. Perhaps writing more of HtHaM will inspire me to take my D&D story off hiatus, dust it off and have a talk with my DM about posting it. In the meantime, I will continue to use her namesake for my online and in-game presence because she is a character I hold very dear.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for joining me in my journey through nostalgia. And I hope this sufficiently addresses Anon’s question.

#Ryqo's Q&A

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bigskydreaming · 6 years ago

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gingerjab replied to your post “ANYWAY. The petition/prayer circle for Michael Trevino to be cast as...”

I’m forever an asshole obsessed with fire/ice ships so Thunderbird or Sunfire, fuck the inhumans one off and St. John. Also, Rahul Kohli as Neal Shaara/Thunderbird/Agni. Also I’m sposed to be asleep so ignore if this is a shit idea.

For the record, I actually kinda like the Inhuman guy, cuz I mean, its not his fault he’s part of a trash franchise. I think it probably helps that I’ve only ever read one issue with him, so as to render it absolutely impossible for his writing to piss me off. I like to just close my eyes and pretend he’s a mutant. Y’know. Like I do with Kamala!

Who is obviously a mutant.

(And like.....let’s be real. The dude is a pyrokinetic with a demon form, the codename INFERNO, and his REAL name is DANTE Pertuz. DANTE. INFERNO. Like, that’s the on-the-nose-fuck-your-subtlety-we-came-here-to-be-pretentious-as-fuck-with-our-literary-references-look-how-dignified-it-makes-our-character balls to the wall character concept I am HERE for. I’m like OH HAI I SEE WHAT U DID THAR. And they’re like “oh yeah? You got it? Hahaha, we were worried nobody would, phew, good job tho. Totally adds to the character right? Pretty clever of us.” And then I’d be like Hahahaha no, not even a little bit, but ‘scool, I like him anyway cuz I’m easy like that. I put out for puns.” And then they’d be like awwwww, dammit, we worked so hard on that. And I’d be like....well, that doesn’t speak highly of your abilities, I mean it was a super obvious joke. And then I stopped making up conversations with hypothetical people in my head.)

Also, in defense of comic book St. John Allerdyce and absolutely NO OTHER VERSIONS EVER because agreed, they all suck....

Comic book St. John is a snarky Australian asshole who in between acts of mutant mass destruction, has a side career as a successful romance novelist under a pen name.

(I’m not even joking. Comic book St. John, in canon, writes romance novels in his spare time as a hobby. LOLOLOL c’mon, how is that not a great character beat for a supervillain slash occasional kinda-if-you-squint-superhero).

Anyway.

I too am also trash for fire/ice ships because SCREW SUBTLETY, WE SHIP THEMATICALLY. But like, its gotta be the RIGHT fire/ice ship. I weirdly have standards with my fire/ice ships? Probably just because I’m obsessed with Bobby Drake but whatever, who cares, how is that relevant.

I mean, OBVIOUSLY, you have your proto-fire/ice ship, the one, the original, the Word I came out of the womb prepared to preach and ship and like, spread to the masses....Bobby Drake/Johnny Storm. Because like. They are elemental dorks whose competitiveness is only matched by their dumbness, how can you not love them, I DEFY YOU TO SAY.

I’m kinda meh on Iceman/Pyro, because like, original comic book Pyro and Bobby never even interacted I think? And in cartoons they’re always totally different generations/age groups, and in the movies they’re like....boring and stale and not even all that attractive and also did I mention boring, omg no offense to whomever wrote them, but I tried reading Bobby/Pyro movie fanfic years ago because like, that’s the only movie Bobby fic there is, unless you want to read about him being an asshole to Rogue and/or cheating with Kitty and just generally driving Rogue into the arms of the much (much much much much, like ewww) older Logan or Gambit. Because srsly, so appealing. So obviously, I caved and tried reading Bobby/Pyro fics because like, they had the word ‘Bobby’ in them, and the bar is too low in my X-Men fic reading habits. And omg I fell asleep. I just. It was all just the standard m/m cookie cutter generic ‘good boy plus bad boy uwu yaoi-zowey’ bleh starring two not at all deeply written or well-acted meh-looking white dudes, and just. Why.

But that’s what I mean when I say I’m wary of fire/ice ships, because sometimes with powered characters like, authors think oh hey, LOOK ONE IS FIRE AND ONE IS ICE, THIS TOTALLY COUNTS AS THEM HAVING OPPOSITES ATTRACT PERSONALITIES AND THUS I DONT NEED TO GIVE THEM A PERSONALITY, RIGHT? Like. They’re just very boring and unimaginative in execution, just because they expect the basic premise of fire and ice/’obvious opposites attract, obviously’ to do all the work for them.

(Katey if you’re reading this I’m super for sure not talking about YOUR superpowered romances, because you are wonderful and GOOD at writing and imaginative, and thus none of this applies to you. Requisite disclaimer.)

So, when they did this random Bobby/’New Pyro Dude like where did he even come from I still dont know’ hook-up, I was prepared to like, yawn endlessly, because I figured it would be more boring imaginationless ‘ooh look what an obvious pair they are and yet still praise me for how clever I am for pairing them’ crap.

And I was absolutely right!

(But I mean, it was written by Marc Guggenheim, the odds of it sucking were totally in my favor. Betting against them being well-written under his pen might feasibly be construed as cheating. Whatever).

And also, the art did them ZERO favors, like I know they’re both generic blond dudes in their twenties, but I LITERALLY COULD NOT TELL WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHICH in any of the panels that they were like, in bed together or dressing or talking or literally anything until they started using their powers to fight bad guys. It was soooooooo bad. Like the art just manifested every ‘look at the white gay date his mirror reflection lol what is variety even’ cliche and beat you over the head with it.

(Also Bobby is supposed to have brown hair, which at least would’ve helped a LITTLE bit. Meh. Still was gonna suck because like, nobody had any intention of WRITING them together, like, developing their characters and laying the groundwork for a possible relationship. It was just ‘oh look, the fire and ice dude got drunk at a wedding and hooked up, cool deal, now on with the story.’)

Anyway, the ONLY redeeming potential for a Bobby/Simon relationship in my opinion is ENTIRELY due to a fic I read with them. Its probably the only fic written about Simon ever, lmfao, so its not like the writer’s characterization of him has any competition among either canon or other fans’ renditions of him. But it was pretty well written, I actually liked their portrayal of Bobby, which I’m SUPER picky about in fanfics, and they actually invested time in developing Simon and his POV and giving him an actual personality and shit, that wasn’t half bad. So if Simon was written like that in the comics and their relationship progressed in similar ways, I could feasibly be on board with them.

But it won’t, so I’m not. Meh. Anyway.

I actually really REALLY like both Shiro AND Neal, with the caveat that I hate Neal’s stupid offensive-ass codename, I know Claremont only named him Thunderbird because he introduced him in an anniversary issue that was supposed to be a call-back to the original Giant Size lineup, and he needed a stand-in for John Proudstar, but like....wtf Claremont, just use your brain and save Neal to introduce a whole issue later and stick Jamie in John’s place the way everyone else does. He literally went by Thunderbird in the comics already in his Hellion days, which YOU wrote, so why the fuck did you feel the need to be stupidly offensive and act like Native American people and traditions are interchangeable with those of a guy from India? Ugh he’s so....gah.

Anyway. So I actually like both Shiro and Neal, though pretty much only when people other than Claremont are writing them, lololol. Which is admittedly...rare. Because of all his pet characters, they’re both at the top of the list of ones nobody else has any interest in touching. Bizarrely, my favorite run involving Shiro was when he was randomly shoe-horned into that Alpha Flight relaunch in the late 90s, that only lasted a couple years? Dunno if you know what I’m talking about, the team with Radius, Flex, Murmur, Heather as Vindicator and Mac was a robot or some weird shit.

I have no real thoughts on either of them with Bobby though, for a fire and ice pairing. Tbh I can’t really see Bobby/Shiro like, at ALL lmfao. For one, Shiro’s always felt written as though he’s a good ten years older than Bobby at least. Like they’re not really compatible dialogue-wise lol. And he’s pretty much never had any patience for Bobby in the comics, which has a lot to do with most of their interactions being written by Claremont himself, and Claremont infamously haaaaaaates Bobby’s character and trashes him any chance he gets, aka the few times editorial makes him actually use Bobby in a script. But I also think even under other writers, like....Shiro honestly is not the type to have any patience for Bobby’s antics or brand of humor, like.....he’s like JP but without the superficial crush JP used in canon to view Bobby’s idiosyncrasies as endearing instead of migraine inducing. I don’t think any readers would buy someone of JP or Shiro’s personality-type crushing on Bobby twice, lololol.

I DO however kinda like the idea of Neal/Bobby? If someone ever actually brought Neal back and gave him a new codename and stuck him on a team with Bobby? They’ve also barely interacted in canon, and the only time I can think of, Neal was super rude and dismissive of Bobby, because like, Claremont was writing it of course, so it made total sense for him to have the dude who’s literally been an X-Man for two issues talk down to the X-Man of several decades like the latter had no clue what he was doing, lol. Oops, still slightly salty there.

But honestly, I doubt anyone who didn’t have hyperfixation fueled grudges on a fictional fave’s behalf would ever even remember that one canon interaction, and tbh Neal’s pretty much a blank slate character wise. His only defining traits from what little he’s been used are that he’s fairly young, in his early to mid-twenties, from a wealthy family, a little full of himself but in a ‘really wants to impress people and prove himself’ kinda way instead of an overly entitled ‘i genuinely believe I am superior to all you buffoons’ kinda way. And he was always endearingly enthusiastic and eager about new stuff he encountered from being with the X-Men.

(He was also randomly obsessed with Psylocke, but I truly think Claremont was like, well I’m just gonna write him like I would Warren Worthington because why not. So yeah, obvsly he’s super obsessed with Betsy. Duh.)

Anyway - I would like someone to do something interesting with Neal, and I think his and Bobby’s chemistry has a lot of potential and they could bounce off each other well.

Also, I like Rahul, but I was randomly fancasting some of the more obscure X-Men awhile back for Reasons (I forget what they were tbh, but I’m sure I had them. I usually do). I came across this Indian actor named Karan Tacker and was like ohhhhhhh he totally looks like he could be Neal Shaara.

I mean, I’ve literally never seen him act, so who knows what his acting is like, but since we’ve established Neal’s character is essentially whatever the person to actually use him next wants it to be, I don’t think that’s a big deal lol.

So this is totally superficially based casting, like I think this guy looks and ‘feels’ the way Neal’s typically been drawn and the kinda vibe he gives off.

Also, incidentally, having absolutely nothing to do with anything, let alone my selection process, by pure coincidence the dude just so happens to have abs for daaaaaaays.

But I mean. Like I said, that is neither here nor there. Obviously.

Of no relevance whatsoever. I didn’t even notice, tbh. Don’t even know who hijacked my body and ghost wrote these last few sentences, quick, call an exorcist.

....oh noes, is this one of the consequences of being an ‘anti’? IS THIS MY COMEUPPANCE? *flees*

#gingerjab

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wildfangz · 6 years ago

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@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want.

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’. i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust.

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway!

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

#tag meme #about #srry if theres any weird grammar or spelling going on half of this was written when i had a monster headache #and was doing everything but laying down!!!!

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peggyfromtheblockk · 7 years ago

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Get to Know the Blogger

Hey! So, I’ve realized aside from a few comments here and there, I haven’t really talked on here at all! This sad thought made me realize it was time to share a lot of unnecessary stuff so maybe you can get a basic--detailed--idea of who I am. So here’s a bunch of word vomit and feel free to come talk to me, I promise I’m a lot nicer than a lot of my answers make me seem lol

Name: You can call me E.

Age: 20

Zodiac sign: Aries

Height: 5’7

Languages spoken: English but I do remember a few random words of Spanish

Nationality & Location: American and Michigan

Work: Currently working in the infant room at a daycare

Favorite fruit: Blueberries

Favorite scent: Lavender, vanilla, or apple

Favorite animal: I really love otters and llamas

Favorite fictional character: Dana Scully of course (though, I do have a soft spot for Stella Gibson)

Favorite candy: KitKat’s but currently I’ll devour almost any chocolate given to me

Favorite holiday: Christmas and Halloween. But probably Halloween more because I love the prep and the actual day, whereas I just really love the prep for Christmas

Favorite season: I really like autumn because my hometown and college towns are so beautiful but I love spring because I love everything coming back to life

Favorite Social Media? Twitter, but like, stan twitter

Favorite thing about where you live? I just love that I have some of my favorite people within literal minutes of me. It’s a really comforting feeling. And we have a fair every year which is gross but entertaining at the same time

Favorite swear word? Probably shit, but fuck and damn do escape quite often

What are you listening to: As of right now When I Kissed The Teacher from MM2

What Books Are You Reading? I have three books I haven’t finished and haven’t touched in like two months. We, Beaches, and Yes Please

What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? Around 1 in the morning usually

What Makes You Happy? A lot of things, though I don’t always realize that. I’m usually an “It’s the little things” person too. BUT to answer, Gillian and msr never fail to make me happy

What Are You Craving Right Now? I could smash a plate of spaghetti right now

What Is Your Gender? Female (she/her pronouns)

What Is Your Sexuality? Bisexual but I’m definitely like 85% women, 15% men

What’s The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? MAMMA MIA 2 IM SO EXCITED

What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? I’m a sucker for blue eyes

What Do You Wear To Bed? A tee and shorts usually but if I’m in The Mood I’ll wear just a tee (Yes, That Mood)

What Sounds Are Your Favourite? I love the sound of a campfire and babies laughing or babbling literally melts my heart

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Usually, their eyes but I’m drawn to those with a bright genuine smile

What’s something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Being With My People. They never fail to make me feel warm and fuzzy. Also when I get a cute little note from my favorite professor on an assignment because she is like the light of my life

What are your hobbies? When I’m not in school I like to read and I’m able to write some. During school, you can find me watching x files, sleeping, or enjoying movies or music

What’s your favorite book? I love anything by Laurie Halse Anderson and really anything in the YA genre

What inspires you? Gillian is really inspiring to me because of all the work she does to help others. Bette Midler too

What’s your favorite place in the whole world? well, ok. So, I love Mackinac Island because it’s so beautiful and peaceful (even with thousands of tourists covering the tiny location) but I also just love when I’m with my people. When I’m with one of My People wherever we are, that’s my favorite place because I’m really happy. Also, I really love my work because nothing exists outside those four walls except the babies I take care of

What do you typically have for breakfast? A big cup of coffee and the occasional bagel or bowl of cereal

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? The first semester of my sophomore year I had this 60-70 page case study due for the end of the term for an education class. For at least a week I would stay up until about 5 am working on it, go to sleep, get up at 7:30 am and do it all over again. That’s been my most stressful and sleep deprived time of my life so far and just looking bad makes me shudder. At least I got a 99% on it

What makes you angry? A lot of things. Let’s not get into that.

What makes you nervous? Uh, everything. But thinking about the real part of my future (bills, working, adulting) really gets me going

Do you wear glasses: Yes and these specific frames fucking suck and my eyes keep getting worse (my doctor told me I’d need surgery before I turned 30, wtf thanks dude)

Do You Have Freckles? Yes and it used to bother me how many I have but thanks to fics that mention Scully’s, I’ve become fond of them

Do You Sing In The Shower? When my family or suitemates aren’t home, then yes I usually belt it all out but usually, I stick to humming

Do You Collect Anything? Postcards and shot glasses. And llama things now too apparently

Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? Pool because it’s clean and I can see the bottom

Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? It depends on the subject or the task but I almost always need some type of constant sound

Do You Save Money Or Spend It? Save it usually but I also tend to spend it all on a big impulse purchase

Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? That’s why I’m here lmao

Do You Have Strange Dreams? Alright so I just started taking Zoloft and before it, my dreams would be weird but like unrealistic-weird, like having-a-bad-trip-weird. But since starting the med, my dreams have become realistically-weird, like sometimes I wake up and question if that all really happened

Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? When I’m at school, yes, but when I’m home I usually just say fuck it because I’ll be back in it at least 8 more times

Do You Like To Read / Write? I love to read (fics, duh) but I do try my hand at writing but I struggle to finish anything and I’m terrified to post any of my work on here

Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? YES and it’s just barely halfway into summer break and I’ve got a huge assignment due the first day back

Do You Get Homesick? Sometimes but I really do love my college life and wouldn’t change it

Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? A mix but because of work, jeans most days

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sarcasm is my middle name

Do you believe in miracles? Yeah I think so

Do you have any special talents? I don’t think so but I’m good at taking care of kids. Sometimes my supervisor calls me the baby whisperer lol

Do you have any pets? Three cats and a dog and some succulents

Do you have any siblings? A little (half) brother and then technically I have four other half-siblings but they don’t know I exist

Do you believe in the paranormal? Absolutely. A big secret of mine….I actually could, and sometimes still can interact with spirits...Just call me Mrs. Spooky

Do you play any instruments? Nope but somehow I have managed to have a guitar and a keyboard in my possession. I do sing though and was in choir for 7 years

Do you have any crushes? Do celebrities or fictional characters count? If no, then no

Do you have any bad and/or anxious habits? I just have panic attacks a lot lmao and I tend to get really bitchy and mean when I’m anxious which I feel bad about but I can’t stop it

Do you believe in anything enough to fight for it? My right to marry whoever I want and have kids with whoever I want and be in control of my body. There’s probably more but those have been on my mind today

Do you keep a journal? Yeah a few actually but I lose motivation after a little bit and it takes so much to start it over

Do you like your age? Yes and no. I’m an adult which is cool and all but like….most of my friends are old enough to drink and it really pisses me off that I’m 9 months short of legally doing that. I’m super responsible and mature for my age like what will 9 months do to change that? It’s just stupid that I can join the military and go thousands of dollars into debt but I can’t have a glass of wine with my mom at a block party. UGH. American laws S U C K

Do you like your own name? Yes, I love my name. When I was a kid I hated it, I didn’t get the sentiment of being named after someone. I finally got the sentiment around the time my grandma started getting sick. Now that she’s gone, I know just how blessed I am to carry on the legacy of my full name and try to make her proud.

Do you have any scars? Oh plenty, I’m really clumsy. My most notable is the one on my thumb from a freak childhood accident that nearly cut my entire thumb pad off. What a wild time

Do you have a strong accent? I’m from Michigan so apparently, I have a strong Midwestern accent but I don’t hear it. But anytime I’m on the phone/skyping with my friend from Missouri, she always points it out and laughs

Do you talk to yourself? Probably too much but also not in the way that I think is expected. I’m just constantly talking in my head like a constant tv interview about whatever the fuck I’m thinking about which 99% of the time is msr lol

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: All of the above

Beer or wine or neither: W I N E

When was your blog created: I knew this was the place to find the best gifs and fics and I wanted to be in the fandom more since I’m so new. Also, I wanted to try my hand at fic writing but I continue to lose the motivation or the courage to write/post

Last movie you’ve seen: Hotel Transylvania is pretty much on repeat in my house thanks to my little brother, so most likely it’s that

First job: My first job was customer service/field hand on a blueberry patch but my first legit legal job is/was at a daycare

Pet peeve: The first I can think of is slow walkers because I walk so fast because my legs are like a mile long

The color of your eyes: Green but they used to be giant sky-blue saucers

Night owl/day person: I don’t like getting up before 9 but past midnight I’m a grouch

Tattoos: None yet, but I have two planned, it’s just a matter of money and timing

Like to cook: Not really but I can cook enough to survive which is typical for college

Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 20 Give the last two lines: “Action: Today I will be kind to myself. Affirmation: This is who I am, and I feel glad to be me” - We

Last Person You Cried In Front Of? I cried while holding a baby at work because my shift is changing so things will be different and also my hormones are really out of whack right now

If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? Any shade of purple

Name One Movie That Made You Cry: Beaches is my go-to crying movie, same goes for Steel Magnolias (what a typical answer, I know)

If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? Cher, Reba, DD, Bette Midler or Straight No Chaser. Reba especially though because she’s going to be near me soon but it's a 21+ event and I’m nine months short of that so I’m really pissed I can’t go

Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Carve pumpkins but I do a damn good job wrapping too

Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I loved it even though it made me sick. There’s a park down the street from my campus so if I’m really upset, I’ll go down there and blast my headphones and swing until I forget what’s happening. It’s really therapeutic

Name Something That Relaxes You: I have some relaxing instrumental playlists and I’ll put one of them on, turn on my lavender oil diffuser, and hop in a nice hot shower (and the hot water at college doesn’t run out so I can pretty much be in there for like ever really) or I’ll watch a fav movie that tends to soothe me

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings give me life. The fluffier the better

When was the last time you cried? I’m sure I’ve cried today and just don’t remember. There’s literally not a day that goes by that I don’t shed tears but I literally cry so easy (This video or this video will make me cry almost instantly)

Where would you like to visit? I’ve wanted to visit Barcelona and California since I was a kid but in the past 4 years I’ve really wanted to visit New York and Greece

Describe your favorite people in the whole world? I’ll just sum all five of them up with they literally make me feel so warm, happy, and validated. I love them so much I could cry just thinking about them. And don’t get me started with Gillian because I do often cry when I think about her I just really love her a lot ok

Who would be your ideal partner? Gillian Anderson, Dana Scully, or Fox Mulder of course. No, but I want someone who’s like me morals/humor wise

Most used phrase? Right now I’m really into saying “Yikes” but “god fucking dammit” leaves my mouth A LOT

Most used word? Probably “like” as much as I hate to admit it

Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 100% except when I’m with My People of course because I feel comfortable with them

Who was your first real crush? I had plenty of crushes during early school years but I think my first real one was on a school employee. Wowza I was head over heels for her and the very obvious knew-it-was-coming heartbreak hurt a lot

How many piercings do you have? Just my first holes in my ears but I’ve been thinking about getting my Helix pierced (upper portion of the ear)

How do you deal with stress? Uhhhh I panic first lol. I tend to listen to music—very specific songs that I know will drown out the anxiety/stress, or sometimes I’ll write what I’m feeling, go for a walk, read an absolute favorite fic in my list, watch x files, or I’ll just scroll through my thousands of pictures of GA lol

How many pillows do you sleep with? Three, sometimes four and then I have four accent pillows when I make my bed. Too many, as I’ve been told by everyone

Have you ever been to the hospital? Been to? Yes, plenty of times. Been in/admitted? No, thankfully

Have you ever met any celebrities? In 2016 I went to a rally for Hillary that Cher was speaking at so like…I was in the same room as her. AND THEN my friend shoved me up to her path as she was leaving and she touched my hand and I literally nearly passed out

Have you ever been in a position of authority? I am always deemed the mom friend so I’ll let you figure out that answer...

Have you ever drank underage? Yeah but nothing crazy. I just really like my wine. The craziest I’ve ever gotten was after I turned in that case study, I chugged half a bottle of wine (on an empty stomach), got bad heartburn, and then went to bed for like 14 hours

Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Depends on the person, but I’d have to say no unless it’s Gillian/Scully/Stella

Are You A Picky Eater? I say yes, but compared to my brother and my uncle, no

Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Usually yes

Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Just my momma, but I do see my *gag* father around my hometown every now and again

Are you religious? Not really. I used to go to church a few years back, and then went to another church which ruined a lot of stuff for me and then I went through some tough stuff that made me question, idk

Are you a good liar? I like to think so (I say that as if lying is something I should be proud of), at least to everyone but my mom because I swear I can pull off the best lie ever and she always sees right through me

Are you a clean or messy person? My home life is messy. My room is trashed but the things that are put away are organized. But life at college is completely opposite, my dorm is very clean and organized and I clean it top to bottom every weekend

If you made it this far, thank you for putting up with my crazy long first post, and I’m sorry that I practically vomited my thoughts into a jumbled mess but I wanted to share myself with you!

#Get to know the blogger #personal #first post #entirely too detailed but oh well #come talk to me #get to know me #msr #GA

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sagittariusuns · 7 years ago

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here are my thoughts on the bullshit

okay so usually i don’t give my opinions on all the shit that goes on in this crazy ass fandom,,? i’m here to reblog memes n have a good time but i’ve seen too much to not say something about it?? so here it is!! i am updated on the Discourse and to put it lightly , i am profoundly disgusted !!! me n wasi were mutuals for a while but we never talked and i’m so thankful that we didn’t, never even realized what a lying snake she was !!

i also had no idea that she was terrorizing a lot of great people in the fandom like mercedes and sarah. @ everyone who wasi was a little bitch to i’m so sorry !! trash like her doesn’t belong here, and i’m so sorry that her and her lies were able to manipulate so many people for so long.

what’s okay: liking jake mckenzie , WHO may i remind yall is a fictional fucking video game character

what’s not okay: going absolutely crazy over people who don’t agree with u and composing a whole ass lie about your boyfriend getting cancer so people can feel bad for you , whilst also giving people shit for not liking him just because you’re a crazy bitch who needs to go outside

now don’t get me wrong, i personally love jake’s character, and more importantly, being on here and interacting with yall. as previously stated i don’t rly get involved with drama a lot but what wasi has done crosses so many lines and i just,,,, yikes!

don’t be a crazy bitch and get so obsessed with an app! go outside, perhaps!

#i said what i said #wasigate #wasi discourse #ig #im yike #discourse

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moiraineswife · 7 years ago

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Autistic Philippa Eilhart Headcanons

As promised, the Phil Thoughts. Geralt and Regis to follow (I’ll link them here when they’re done!!) This isn’t really in any order...And isn’t very coherent...But I don’t much care.

Philippa Eilhart is pretty fascinating, complex, and rich as a character even before you add this spice on top. I could write screeds and screeds of meta about her sexuality, and her morality, and the place/role she plays in the narrative but...I will focus myself on this.

We need more unapologetic ladies in fiction; and we need even more unapologetic autistic ladies in fiction. I think, way too often, autistic ladies get overlooked, because they get good at hiding their traits/covering them up because it’s expected for them to be nice, and quiet, and polite, and good at all things social. And I’m so beyond here for lady autistic characters being ‘fuck that’ and being exactly themselves, and really, there’s no female character I can easily think of capable of doing that better than Philippa Eilhart.

Especially when Philippa is already utterly unapologetic and unashamed of the way she is, and especially since a lot of that really lines up with autism. It doesn’t really take much of a stretch with this. Wait, I’ll make a list, I like lists, and it breaks this up a little, but okay let’s see:

-She’s...Not the best with Social Skills. She’s definitely intelligent, definitely capable of scheming, and plotting, and manipulating people for the sake of her own ends but she’s also...Quite blunt. Quite to the point. I’m also fairly sure I remember (though maybe I don’t) the way that she watches people, studies them, that and the fact she’s had 300 years to perfect her observings of people helps her make up a little, and learn their body language....But she’s not perfect. And she’s just...never quiet been able to perfect the expected social niceties (and, frankly, at the age she is, she’s probably too fucking tired to bother with them tbh. She doesn’t see the point in them, she never gets them right, why bother?)

And there’s actually...Sometimes not a lot of subtlety with her? At least, not in her interactions with other people. She is, if memory serves, rather lacking in delicacy. She says what she thinks, she doesn’t mince her words, she simply...Is?

Philippa is so honest about her dishonesty that she almost comes full circle and becomes honest again.

‘"Decent and honorable?" "You must be joking." ‘

Which I’m associating here with autism both as a social skills thing, and a black and white thinking thing. It’s this...Delightful little contradiction within her? Because she is duplicitous, and she lies, and she manipulates...But she’s so...Upfront about it? And utterly apologetic about it, too. This is just...The way Phil’s world works. This is just who and what she is. No point trying to pretend otherwise, what’s the point in that?

-Again with the black and white thinking is her commitment and determination. Philippa is utterly relentless, and single-minded in her pursuit of her goals. Not only in terms of ruthlessness, and the willingness to do whatever she deems necessary, but just her dedication to her goal is pretty admirable. I’m pretty sure the world could end, and leave her the sole survivor, and she’d just keep battling on in her defence of magic, it’s interesting.

-And speaking of interesting, magic can definitely be a special interest for Phil. Her dedication to it, the depth of her knowledge, how skilled she is (the fact that she’s one of few to have mastered polymorphy, for example) are all indicative of an obsessive interest.

-I think Phil gets characterised as a character without morals quite a lot. Which I understand, I do. But I also think that she...very strictly follows Rules. They’re just....her rules. Her own personal, internal rules. The rest of the world can go fuck itself, but certain things have to work a certain way. She struggle to see the merit in/accept worldviews that don’t line up with hers. I also think that she has very strict morals within herself. I think she has things that she believes are right, and things that she believes are wrong, and I think that’s something that she will never compromise. It’s that adherence to rules, as well as rigid thinking, which is quite interesting.

-Phil’s intensity is pretty indicative of autism as well, I think. Philippa, I think, is a character that feels things very deeply. She has, as I’ve said, very strong feelings concerning magic, and her idea of how the world should work. But on an emotional level, too. More than one of the characters, and Phil herself, I believe, have commented on her restlessness, her desires, the intensity of her feelings, and the things it can drive her to do. And also, that...Itch that she gets, the desire to get out and Do something, just reminds me of overstimulation tbh. So there’s that.

-But on the surface, she comes off as cold, and indifferent. And I can make a case for her being low-empathy as a part of this based on the way she reacts to other people (which is nuanced, and complex, and is something I could write an entire other piece of meta on itself, but...we’ll not go there rn) But I think that Phil...Doesn’t show that care for other people, and she doesn’t really let her emotions show all that much, either. She comes off as this ice queen, but beneath the surface we know that it’s a different story (which is a really interesting little contradiction to consider, even outside oft his headcanon), but, yeah.

-And on the subject of emotions and cold indifference, I think her decision making process is interesting too. Because it almost always revolves around logic. Whatever her emotions dictate, she typically makes judgements based on practical reasons, rather than emotional ones. Her emotions are strong, and are intense, but when it comes down to it, she’s ruled by her head. Almost too much.

I think a good example of this is the conversation she has with Yennefer about redeeming her in Geralt’s eyes. Yennefer’s plea is one that comes purely from a place of sentiment, and emotion. Philippa’s answer is one that comes purely from logic, and a careful, thought-through examination of the practical consequences of her action.

Philippa comes across as cold, and cruel in that moment, because Yennefer is so desperate, and her request seems so easy to grant, but that is 100% not Phil’s motivation there. She is not doing this to be cruel, she’s not doing this to hurt Yen, or Geralt, or anyone. She’s doing this because it doesn’t make sense.

(And it would also have been easy here to lie to Yennefer, especially with Triss watching, and promise her that she’d do what she’s asking, to make sure they part on good terms, that’s the calculating, manipulative thing to do here. But Phil doesn’t do it. It’s again that strange, unapologetic honesty that she has, and I think it’s interesting too, because it would have been easy to lie, would have been ‘smarter’ to lie, might even have suited her purposes better to just lie, and tell Yennefer what she wants to hear. But she doesn’t. And that’s...really fucking interesting, from my pov anyway)

But yes, Phil’s entire decision making process there is based on logic. She is practical. She is pragmatic, above all.

-Her planning, too. There’s always something ticking away in the back of her mind. She’s always thinking about things, always picking at the details, always tugging at threads, always plotting, and planning every little thing. Which I can quite easily see being a habit. I think she probably orchestrates her breakfast in the same way she’d orchestrate an assassination. It’s just the way that her mind works.

-Okay, lighter/less canon related/’ur just making things up u like now, lauren, aren’t u?’ ‘yep’

-Phil hating flying when it’s raining because the feeling of her wet feathers is Sensory Hell.

-but equally, Phil loving flying more than just about anything else, especially when she’s stressed, because it’s such a nice, calming stim.

-Phil chilling in owl form quite a lot when she gets overstimulated because it’s so much easier to deal with (esp if she’s non-verbal, bc no-one demands that an owl start talking to them, and that is a blessing)

-Phil having a deep guilty pleasure of having her feathers stroked because it is The Best (all who know this are sworn to secrecy about it)

-Phil being hypersensitive to touch, and exceedingly picky about who she allows touch her, when, and where. People 100% respecting Phil’s boundaries on this bc they’re not Dicks.

-Phil being hypersensitive to certain sounds as well, and getting extremely short-tempered, irritable, and snappish when overstimulated. Anyone who spends any amount of time around her starts recognising this, and doing their best to minimise the noises that are bothering her so much.

-Phil definitely likes deep pressure, and is just kind of like ‘lay on me’ @ all of her partners at any given moment. Especially when she’s stressed (which is...almost always tbh, even if she doesn’t show it)

-okay this one is my fav, Indulge Me: most of the sorceresses were sent to Aretuza, if I remember, bc they had some kind of physical deformity which the sorceresses ‘corrected’ when they took them in (I am not going to discuss the wisdom of this, bc it’s not really my place, but lays the groundwork for this, so I’ll mention it briefly)

We don’t really know what Phil was sent off for but I kind of like the idea of it being bc of her autism. HEAR ME OUT.

So her family take her to Aretuza and are just....She’s weird, okay, there’s something wrong with her, have her if you want, fix her if you can, kind of thing. And smol!Phil is not oblivious to this. Smol!Phil knows she is different. Smol!Phil knows she is ‘weird’ to use her mother’s favourite phrase. Smol!Phil understands she’s being sent to this place so she can be made normal and ‘fixed’.

Smol!Phil trains at the academy with the others, and never feels any different. No-one ever uses spells, or potions, or anything to try and fix her. One day, she decides to talk to Rita about it. She pulls her aside, and asks her in that way of hers (I can see Phil being such a serious child. So intense and intense, like she’s got the wisdom she has at 300 at the age of 11) and just straight up asks Rita why she doesn’t feel any different. Her family sent her here so they could fix her, make her normal, stop her being the way she is, but she doesn’t feel any different at all. Why isn’t it working?

Rita gets very indignant, and angry, that smol!Phil has been led to think these things, and very firmly informs her that they cannot fix her. There is nothing to fix, there is nothing wrong with her. This is just who she is.

And that’s the end of that.

Autistic Philippa Eilhart.

#the witcher #the witcher headcanons #philippa eilhart #margarita laux-antille #listen....rita getting all >:( at smol!phil being made to think she needs to be/can be fixed is my lifeblood #philippa headcanon #autistic headcanon #autistic philippa #listen this is v Dear to me it really is #i love autistic!geralt and autistic!regis too #but i think i love phil the most (possibly bc i relate to her the most but SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)#this makes so much goddamn sense though. and it would be SUCH a nuanced complex bit of rep too i just #I NEED THIS #LET ME HAVE IT #/LET ME HAVE IT/#not that anyone's going to read this to NOT let me have it but still #i would like to; once again; issue a formal apology to the philippa eilhart fandom #for my ceaseless drivel #(but also this is Golden and i'm not really that sorry)

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