#i am so normal about the concept of destiny

[glitcheslikeslego]

MK was destined to create chaos and he can't change that

MK is destined to create chaos and he can’t change that

Destiny shmestiny, we’re all tired of it, MK isn’t following his destiny… but he actually is.

See, I have a very normal amount of love for the idea surrounding destinies and fates and stuff similar to it, which I believe that I can explain as to why I believe MK is following his exact destiny, even though he’d most likely hate it if he ever found out. 

For starters, here’s a difference between fate and destiny that I want to explain. Fate and destiny, while similar, are not the same thing. Let me explain;

Fate is the end that’s decided for everything, it’s decided by whatever higher being there is, and is the end. Whether the end that is reached is regardless of the choices you made in life, or is determined due to the choices because you were fated to have those choices is another thing. 

Destiny on the other hand, while having a similar idea of being an end, isn’t completely the same. Destiny is the end of a life that depends on the choices that life makes, it takes account of the things you’ve done and the choices you make and moulds your destiny until the very end.

So to make a long explanation short, fate doesn’t give a shit what choices you make, it’ll be the predetermined end no matter what, while destiny is predetermined based on the choices you have made in life. Does that make sense?

Let’s use LBD as an example, since she’s the one preaching about destiny and such. Depending on how you look at it, she either met her fate or reached her destiny in the season 3 specials. She was either fated to die at the hands of MK and his team, regardless of how she went about to try and reach her goals, or she was destined to reach that end because of the choices she’s made. 

I like to think she was fated to, cause I think it’s funny, but you all can make your own opinions on this.

I believe I rambled enough about the differences between fate and destiny, we should get into the actual reason for this analysis.

MK is destined to create chaos

MK is a free spirit, he loves his friends and family, and tries to stay cheerful despite the horrors he’s faced. He is determined to be a good student to Wukong and to be the best successor he can by following Wukong’s every move,but much like the monkey, he hates being tied down, both literally and figuratively.

Literally because Macaque tied him up once, rendering him useless, which is obvious he hates, but we’ll get to that in a possible future MK character analysis.

But also figuratively, because he believes destiny goes against his idea of freedom. Of being able to do what you want, regardless of the choices you make and what the gods say. He treats destiny like it’s fate when it isn't.

This is why he defies against characters like LBD and Nuwa so hard, cause not only did LBD try and destroy the world and hurt her friends and not only did Nuwa try and convince MK it would be best to start a new cycle, they both challenged his belief in letting others decide how they want to live their lives.

MK wants to fight for the world, for humans to be able to make their own choices in safety, without being threatened by demons or celestial beings, however in doing so, he is following his destiny of being the Harbinger of Chaos, created to do exactly that, make chaos. And what better way to make chaos than defying the gods themselves, hm?

So, in trying to avoid destiny, MK is actually following his destiny.

TLDR; MK doesn’t like it when people try and tell him to follow his destiny, so he defies them and it causes chaos, and as the Harbinger of Chaos, he’s just following his destiny.

[hanzajesthanza]

i feel like i just got so used to ciri and how natural ciri and geralt’s relationship left, via being introduced to the witcher via witcher 3, and then reading the middle of the saga before i finished the short stories…

that i never really innately picked up on the fact that ciri turning out to be geralt’s daughter and not his son was… uhm, part of the entire surprise, let’s put it that way :’)

geralt and ciri are just soooo natural as a father and daughter duo that i can’t imagine it any other way, if ciri had been a boy this would have been way less remarkable as a series, there would be no witcher series as we know it. so to me ciri being a girl was the normal and default, expected way things were supposed to go.

even when i read a question of price-sword of destiny-something more for the first times, i was like “ok” when ciri being a girl was a switch of expectations: geralt (and, supposedly, the reader) having expected pavetta to have a son. like… “alright, it’s a girl, so what.”

i had to be informed about how this was an intentional shock… not only because i’m not a parent, but i mean, well, ultrasounds get mixed up all the time, right… it’s not so uncommon to have a kid and be surprised by the gender…

and because of this, i was more inclined to eyeroll at blood of elves being preachy with going over ciri’s biological sex what seemed like ten million times in chapters two and three… what with the whole “daughter has her first period” subplot, ciri upset over her lack of potential strongmanship, and the witchers mostly relying on triss for guidance in raising a girl. the moral being both “just raise her like any other child” and “be sensitive to her needs that you’re blind to…”

although i still think these segments have visibly aged and date the series (not inherently a bad thing, just a quality of it)… they do make more sense when i try to empathize more with the perspective of a new father… who didn’t know he was receiving a girl… who thought she died… who only got her back through a miracle… and having to raise a girl… that’s not a young child anymore, not yet a teen, but is very shortly going to start going through puberty?! it’s like growing up in the desert, just learning what water is, and then getting thrown into the ocean.

because “having to raise a girl” still doesn’t seem that strange to me, but then i remember geralt didn’t see a woman and only had heard about them as a concept until he was an adult (because “warrior-monk” realness), he grew up with a hole in his heart that his absent mother bore, he lives in a highly gendered society, he experiences hostility from everybody of course but especially from women and girls, who take fright at him for… specific reasons explained by the old women in edge of the world…

no, geralt’s not helpless, but i forget, because he acts normal, but… (i mean, although he has issues, he could have really gone off his rocker with regards to women, a little sacrifice confirms this and vilgefortz embodies this) i forget that geralt’s inexperience with women… mostly manifesting in anxiety and both uncertain and impulsive behavior… like ghosting with a nosegay of flowers, the “dear friend” and all… would affect his view of the gender as a whole, including how he sees ciri. and it does.

in his situation, yes, having to raise a girl does intensify the element of “what the fuck am i doing”. especially as a single dad.

and although i do like it when the pov shifts from geralt in the saga but just to another person in the room, for how he becomes more of a distant and enigmatic figure, seeing him through others’ eyes always makes fills me with this uncertainty. buuuut, i would fucking adore blood of elves chapters two and three through geralt’s eyes just for how much of an emotional wreck he must have been… and trying not to show it to her :(

[4dkellysworld]

Hii hope you're doing well, if you're okay with it, I'd like to ask for some advice?

So, I've been trying to manifest something for a long time. But.. I haven't seen it. At all. It's been a really long time, like months. Normally I just brush it off and remind myself it means nothing, and imagination determines my reality, but after awhile.. it gets demotivating yk. It's been a long while, my self concept is pretty good, but I think it's slowly eroding because I haven't seen my manifestations yet. Thoughts?

Well, I have no idea what you've actually been thinking/doing/being to 'manifest' so you haven't given me much to work with. Also I am not a manifesting blog lol though I am changing my views on this, after all we are all creators of our own realities; we can either create consciously or unconsciously and self-mastery is all about taking responsibility for all our creations after all (this isn't an invite for more manifesting questions though, there's so many resources on this already lol). You might want to look into @aphroditeapprenticee-archive. A quick look at the asks shows me this one might be helpful to you, the others might be too. This reddit post might be helpful too.

Some other possible reasons:

You never accepted it as a reality/certainty and see it only as a fantasy or daydream

You told yourself you've accepted it as reality when you haven't actually. You can't lie to yourself

You're too fixated on checking if it's there or not, which just reaffirms the reality where you need to check [therefore it is not] >> you lack faith in what you have decided on

[An extension of above point] You keep changing your mind on whether you have it or not. Or you are also entertaining and identifying with thoughts that are opposite (Put another way, in LOA terms, "The old self has to die so the new self can live. Bury the old and live only as the new". Keep choosing the same thing)

You have resistance in the form of one or more: attachments, attachments to outcomes or expectations, fears, desires (you can't desire what you already have) etc which prevents you from accepting your "desired reality" as truth

The following excerpts may be helpful.

I've linked a video below which might be helpful to you, it's not geared on methods and talks more on the importance of faith and being conscious of what thoughts/beliefs you entertain. Very spiritually-geared as opposed to being outcome-focused (their titles are rather clickbaity but the content is alright actually).

Navigating this landscape of thought requires a conscious effort to cultivate a garden of positive life affirming beliefs. Imagine your mind as fertile soil and each thought a seed. What kind of garden are you tending, are the seeds of doubt, fear and negativity finding too much purchase or are you diligently planting and nurturing seeds of hope, love and abundance? The mastery of thought is not an overnight achievement but a lifelong journey of choosing moment by moment which seeds to water and which to weed out. This deliberate act of selection empowers individuals to shape their destinies guided by the unwavering belief in the secret power woven into the fabric of their being.

[cuubism]

fem!dream headcanon. dream still uses he/him pronouns but presents as a woman. thoughts?

yes, extremely good, valid

i wonder if dream's relationship to gender as a concept is actually very weird. he understands how humans view it because he has access to all unconscious thoughts. but in relation to himself it might be like

hob: so. what's your gender actually like, anyway dream: ? i am an amorphous shadow. i am an amalgamation of thoughts. ? hob: so. why is your human-ish body male then dream: because more people leave me alone

dream seems to struggle with the concept of even being a person outside his function so his personal gender identity might be too high a level at this point XD

so dream present day is fucking around with appearing as a woman because why not. 'dream' is already a gender neutral name but morpheus is undoubtedly gendered male but he just keeps using it he doesn't care.

hob is like.. alright, do you want to use like 'she' pronouns or something dream: do whatever you want idc hob: *refers to him as 'she' at some point* dream: nope i've decided I Do Not Like Change hob: figures

secondary headcanon: the endless with the most concrete understanding of their own gender identity is actually desire. and desire doesn't even have a concrete singular identity but unlike everybody else they actually thought about it.

hob, trying to get to the bottom of this: so why are you [insert gender they were presenting in at the time] destiny: because the book deems it so hob: extremely normal, thanks death: well, it may be reductive but a lot of humans have an impression of women as more kind and soft and motherly so it helps in my work. after all, my job is to give them what they want, not what i think they should want. hob: okay that makes sense, thanks for having an actually normal answer destruction: i wanted to be able to lift a truck with one hand and this form seemed expedient at the time hob, strangled: ...thanks desire: okay so [ninety minute diatribe] hob, whiplashed: thanks very cool despair: i'm contractually obligated to suffer more hob: creepy, thank you delirium: pretty :) hob: alright thanks for the elaboration

hob: that answered nothing for me thanks guys

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2024 Day 1

Your Favorite Character

Hi! Kloktober is back and so am I, it seems. I wasn't really thinking of participating this year but my friends got me hyped weeks ago so this time around I could actually get prepared in advance.

For today's entry, you will never guess who I decided to write about. That's right, Dimneld Selftcar- Toki. Just a short little thing to get things started~ ♡

Here's to you, Toki! And happy start of Kloktober! ⚙️

Toki never felt like he belonged. With his family, with religion, with his country even. He always felt like an outsider in his own life. 

And his parents made sure he wouldn’t forget that. The children in their commune seemed fairly normal, or at least a little more loved than he was. Their parents would actually hug them, whereas the only time his mother held his hand was that time he almost tripped and almost fell into the frozen lake.

During the short period of time where his parents allowed him to go to the local school, he was a total outcast too. The kids made fun of him for being weird, for not knowing enough about the world, for being shy. Toki only realized he was being bullied when he preferred being punished by his parents for missing school than going there. 

He never managed to make any friends in his town, either. Toki knew it and his parents knew it. He didn’t belong.

_

He couldn’t have been any younger than 8 years old when he woke up in the middle of the night because of his tendency to have nightmares. He thought it would be like any other night, where he had to count the stars until he fell asleep. 

That night, though, the sky was different. One of the stars shone way brighter and bigger than the others, leaving a glowing path on its way. It was the most beautiful thing Toki had ever seen, like something out of the fairy tale books he had read at school. If he remembered correctly, that was a shooting star, and you could make a wish if you saw one.

And so, Toki clasped his hands together and closed his eyes. He wished to find somewhere he belonged. To find his own calling, far away from here. To be destined for something greater than a life of being punished and feeling guilt. 

Toki wished to be just like a shooting star.

–

He was freezing, the blanket he had found abandoned in the trash shared between the stray cats and him. His stomach rumbled and he tried to recount the last time he ate something remotely decent. Probably that half-eaten energy bar from 2 days ago. 

He wanted to sleep to forget his hunger and cold, but it was exactly those two things that kept him awake. Toki alternated between shorts periods of unconsciousness and opening his eyes to the same sight he had grown accustomed to. A back alley, a couple of trash bins, his dirty guitar and more stray cats than he could name surrounding him.

It was as he patted a calico for a lack of a better distraction, that he raised his gaze to the sky. The beautiful Florida sky was stunning as always, with its nocturnal lights and mysterious clouds, Toki often lost himself in its colors and vastness.

So, when he spotted a shooting star, he couldn’t help but smile. Even if he hadn’t found his place in the world yet, he felt reassured. He was already out of that household, free of the shackles his family had placed on him. 

Music had been his ticket out of a miserable predetermined destiny, and it would be his way into his new life, that much he knew. 

And, no matter what, no matter when, he would find it.

–

They had been arguing about the direction of the new album for hours to no avail. And by that, he meant that they were negotiating with Charles a new concept for an album that was completely improvised from scratch at every concert. Well, Toki was mostly listening, except not really because he was using his new coloring book and drawing brutal shapes on it.

Eventually, though, the racket exhausted him and he walked away to keep coloring by the window of their conference room, away from all the passionate shouting. It was kind of comfortable like this, just being in his own world while the guys were right next to him, and he wouldn’t have noticed anything else if a sparkle hadn’t caught his eye. 

It was so small that he wouldn’t have recognized it if he hadn’t seen it before. Fleeting and almost minuscule in the now distant sky outside of Mordhaus. A shooting star, greeting Toki after all these years. Almost as if to ask Toki how he was doing, how his life had gone. 

If his dreams had come true.

And Toki turned around to see Nathan shaking Charles by the collar shirt, Pickles smugly encouraging the violence, Skwisgaar improvising on his guitar to show he didn’t need to write anything beforehand and Murderface threatening to kill himself if anything went wrong. So chaotic, so incomprehensible and yet so weirdly endearing to watch too.

He looked back at the star and nodded. The shooting star winked at him before fading away, leaving a colorful trail of happiness in its wake. Toki put down his coloring book and joined the rest of Dethklok, yelling his list of demands to Charles as well. 

He had found it, the place where he belonged.  

[centrally-unplanned]

I'm curious, how do you feel about harem tropes in anime and vns as a straight (for now, we will get you one day!!!) poly dude? Does the "genre" hold any appeal to you, and are there any standouts you would point to to say "yeah they really nailed what I like here"?

Look someone has to be a straight guy on here, affirmative action to ensure we get a diverse community! Overall I think they are fine as a concept - essentially harem is too "basic" to have like any one opinion on it, right? It can take on a million different forms, some will work and some don't.

For me most of the time they don't work, primarily because the typical deployment is in some weird asexual abeyance state where the protagonist has a dozen girls who are into him but they never cross the threshold. It is essentially a piece of media with no progression that substitutes in lateral quantity of girls for interesting narrative. Even this can work though, if the work is a sufficiently silly or weird sex comedy - those don't need any progression, right, the fun is in the jokes. The key for me is to make the lack of progression actually part of the humor. Few land this honestly, but while I am cheating because here the MC *does* date all the girls, The 100 Girlfriends Who Really Really Love You is a good example - he has to date all the girls or THEY DIE because God fucked up their destinies. Totally stupid, great premise for a comedy. Or My Next Life as a Villainess, where the heroine is isekai'd into an otome is obsessed with not being murdered like in the game, so fails to realize that she has dodged that bullet so successfully everyone wants to bone her (that show isn't good for its own reasons alas).

The other path is the "ancillary" harem, where the story has some other primary plot going on, fantasy wizard war or w/e, but the main character also has 4 hotties in the crew who are in various degrees of thirst over him. Normally still dumb ofc but this is less offensive because it isn't the main story, so it can have more logic. Additionally, you can use their role in the main story to make them cool/attractive, such that you have more investment with them. "I want to date you" is not a great pitch for why someone would want to date you, after all. Still, it is all better if you get like Mushoku Tensei and actually date them, since then you can have very interesting multiple-relationship arcs that intersect the main story. At the rare peaks this is authentically great, and never seen in TV outside of anime.

Visual Novels, funnily enough, are not that commonly harem! Because of split-routes you set up the harem "premise" at the beginning, but then you "choose a route" and the other girls fade away and it becomes a mono romance. Obviously they do exist, but VNs just typically have other genre conventions - and the ones that do exist I just tend to have not played. Maybe some out there do cool harem stuff! I am open to recs.

Being poly honestly effects this very little, because most harem anime just isn't poly. It is too far divorced from any level of "poly rep" for my own life experiences or w/e to come up beyond the occasional joke. Which makes sense - the audience isn't poly! Very similar to how the average yaoi is made for women, not gay men. And just like gay men enjoying yaoi, I can still enjoy a good harem even if it isn't For Me in that way.

[weebsinstash]

For real though I am lost in the Miguelverse rn bc the whole you know, concept and setting in general gives so much opportunity for so many different things and he's such a tasty intimidating juicy specimen of a man

Like for starters I keep flip-flopping between concepts of Reader being the Spider of their universe, BUT I also like the idea of Reader being an anomaly, because then you get that torturous pain of like... godDAMN the scene with Miguel and Miles on top of the train was hard to watch, you know? So take that and you've got Miguel trying his hardest to stop you and losing his temper and screaming at you that you're a mistake, you were never supposed to be here, all of those things, and then afterwards he has to try and put all your broken pieces back together after everything you had experienced completely breaks you, like you go from trying to escape him in Nueva York to just going limp in his hold and letting them take you into custody, constantly crying or being completely despodent and literally no longer caring about going home anymore because you feel trapped by being a Spider and feel like your choices are no longer your own. He didn't have any hard feelings against you but you have to follow the canon! And while he's you know keeping a watchful eye on you and making sure you don't kill yourself, he becomes a little too personally invested in your well being, making sure you've eaten, have you slept well, until he realizes too late that he's ATTACHED

Spinoff of this where he accidentally makes Reader kill themselves which also destroys their entire universe and like a few months later Miguel gets another ping in the system and, oh look a new Spiderman, not an anomaly this time, but still... you? Or, A you, maybe not THE same you he had known but, it just tears at his heart as he meets you again and youre so happy and bouncy and charismatic and he knows he has to keep you safe this time, that he cant let you completely fall apart this time. That's kind of getting your cake and eating it too huh? Having the first you be the anomaly and the second you is a true Spider who gets to deal with all his grief and obsession and guilt and all those feelings he never got to address or act on "the first time around"

Ideas of Reader not even being a Spider and just minding their own gd business and a disheveled Miguel from another universe who just lost his own version of you and hasn't slept for shit shows up all of a sudden and corners you because he just HAS to see and hear and touch you again and he's basically lost himself with grief

Ideas where Reader loses their home universe but instead of disappearing with it they just become an anomaly and now you're a Spider without a set destiny who technically shouldn't still exist and Miguel has to keep an eye on you as he watches you gradually sink deeper into the mire of grief and depression because, "does your life even have a purpose now?"

Story ideas where having a darling/obsession is a spidey canon event and Miguel thought he had already gone through his but he stumbles upon you and he starts losing it and getting real freaky obsessed with you and he doesn't exactly stop himself because he thinks it's normal and supposed to happen, and if you resist him in any way he won't let you get away because in his mind if he doesn't have you, not only will he completely fall apart, but what if it causes another universe to collapse?

Stories where you're a Spider and his "coworker" and you two have tension but respect each other and have never really acted on it and suddenly here's another Miguel who isn't quite nearly as reserved or shy as the first and suddenly "your original" has to 'defend his territory' as he knows enough about his own behavior to realize that this other version of him has his sights set on you and, well, your Miguel can't have that

Stories where having a kid is a canon event and Miguel realizes Reader is a grown woman who is actively avoiding relationships altogether and is also on birth control and he realizes "oh shit if she doesn't have a kid will she disappear?" And he's like trying to sabotage your attempts to stay single until eventually he decides, fuck it, maybe it's HIM who has to give you that baby. You know, just a little mating press and some noncon breeding that he swears is to save your life, it *definitely* isn't that he's totally crazy about you and this just gives him the excuse

You know just totally normal ideas about a totally normal totally sane dude

[ganondoodle]

Dude I love how you make gods feel like *gods*. One thing I think a lot of people have trouble with is making their deities feel like either A. Non-characters that are just forces of nature, like a hurricane, or B. making them *too* much like regular characters, negating the impression of how powerful they're supposed to be.

In every part of that first Demise vs Hylia fight, it felt like something that would be both awe-inspiring and terrifying to witness, and when you mentioned in that other post how Demise would use his true form to escape a mountain, it gave me mental images of a massive volcano, but simultaneously all the *rage* that would be involved. Like I don't know the context but. Oh boy is Demise probably not going to be happy about getting stuck in a mountain

I just!! It is very early rn and Idk if I'm making a lot of sense but you are *so good at this*

I'll be honest, at first i wondered if this ask was actually meant for me or perhaps got to the wrong person ( i got teary eyed reading this ... multiple times qoq)

ANd yes i agree that often gods tend to be either too distant or too much like a normal character, personally im not a fan of the latter xD

the deities in destiny are supposed to be like a middle ground, the three golden gods are very 'other' while the deities are supposed to be a mix of mortals and gods, not half-gods since they more god than mortal but still with a connection to the world (thats almost the entire reason the gods made them like that, bc the gods themselves cannot walk the worlds they created on their own; the deities are essentially their hand to control the world - which isnt working to well as we see gnvfjdknkdfn)

anyway, waht i mean is ... Thank you??!! i, sometimes get so lost in self doubt and how others do similar concepts just wayyy better and like .. idk how to express how this lil ask makes me feel (positively!!!), i always hope i can convey at least a fraction of what i feel writing my stories, which is hard with no movement and no sound, just art, to hear that i am actually somewhat succeeding at it is kinda .. idk, baffling?? i am no good with words myself ;O;

the scene you mentioned is from chapter 3, and i got so motivated by this ask that i had to .. attempt to draw a lil concept of that scene in it, even tho i know its really rough and i hope will get it done better once i get to that chapter .. but its something? ;u;

[evilios]

Threads That Bind was my first introduction to Kika Hatzopoulou's writing, and a pleasant one. It's a refreshing novelty among mythology-inspired books as it features an otherwise untouched by them genre: a fantasy crime novel.

Hatzopoulou's writing is dynamic and flavorful, she's very talented at creating action sequences and fast-paced, intense interactions. Her text is heavily inspired by different concepts of cultural and mythological landscapes of Greece, Ancient and modern: the main heroine, Io, is a descendant of a long line of Fates-born capable of seeing and cutting threads of one's life and all the things dear to the person. Alongside her equally powerful sisters, Thais and Ava, she's in the middle of all the action, uncovering the mystery of a spree of suspicious murders.

Io is a deeply sympathetic character that's easy to relate to due to her social standing and the deep personal, familial crises she is going through: grief and loss, growing apart with the family, finding your point in life, hoping for one day when things might get better. She's simply well-written and interesting to follow.

If you enjoy a fun and dynamic narrative built around the concepts of predetermined fate, destiny and justice, sisterhood and family, otherness, and free will, then I'd heavily recommend this book.

No major plot spoilers, some things I want to specifically point out:

Personally, I adore how many solid female characters Kika introduces. The majority of the reoccurring cast are women and they're all utterly brilliant. I am deeply in love with Bianca and I adore Rosa with my whole heart. There's a dangerous sapphic character who does not die and is in a relationship with another woman. There's a transwoman (who is I believe in a relationship) whose queerness is not obtusely focused on but rather treated as it should be: as a normal thing. You do not learn she's trans until one mention of past deadnaming (no name mentioned) appears. There's a hint that the main character might be bisexual. There's a nonbinary character relevant to the plot. There are multiple secondary characters using different pronouns. Queerness is treated by Kika as a usual everyday thing and it's very refreshing to see.

Kika sets the action in a city that resembles Athens: it has an Acropolis where elites live, the slums, the poorer areas and the more immigrant-populated areas. No real geographical location is ever marked but by some small cues you can figure out that the fictional city and its surrounding areas are heavily inspired by Greece with proximity to Egypt, Slavic territories, and Near East.

Main character's love interest (this book has a soulmate story as a background but it's not annoying/in your face) is coded to be what would equate to real world Egyptian, based on cultural codes. A lot of characters are heavily diverse, Kika uses a lot of names that sound Greek, Italian, Russian, and Arabic. It's a very modern Mediterranean-coded story.

I ADORE the attention Kika gives to her side characters. There's a character named Chimdi who is passionate about sculpture, and her mini-story is actually deeply impactful on how you perceive the Muses. The Muses are the only "other-born" who go by the names of the original Nine Muses and it's treated as a "marketing move" — there are so many analysis points the author makes and I just adore it.

Instead of having divine descendants follow individual Gods (who might or might not be mentioned), Kika makes the divine "other-born" descend from groups of divinities only: three Fates equate three sisters, countless oneiroi equate to multitudes of oneiroi-born, Muses equate to the rare event of nine girls being born in a family, and so on. It's fun how she puts it together.

This book very openly and directly hates cops and I love it for that. Kika overall comments a lot on social injustice, immigration laws, mistreatment of ostracized native population vs. ostracized immigrant population, xenophobia, and other matters of social segregation. Corrupt government and people just getting by are the background of her story.

There's one element at the very end that I'm a little worried about because I do not like this trope, but with Kika's gentle and careful approach to her own cultural narratives, I have faith it will be encountered properly in the sequel, Hearts That Cut.

There are a lot of topics she touches upon, and I do heavily recommend this book.

[rukafais]

one day i will do a grand breakdown essay on Why Jarlaxle and Kimmuriel’s Relationship Makes Me Incredibly Unhinged With Citations but for now you get this abridged version. Spoilers for Lolth’s Warrior/last book in particular but also Generations and other Way of the Drow books a little bit. also this is STILL a long post i’m sorry I am VERY not normal about this

so last trilogy (generations) kimmuriel's all, man i wish i was an illithid. i like illithids. hive mind's great. love those guys.

   But here, in this place, nothing was measured in that manner. In this place, Kimmuriel Oblodra didn’t exist, other than to be a single colligation in the one being that was the whole of illithid society. Here in the hive mind, his fingers caressing the great pulsing brain, the edifice of connection and oneness, thoughts and memories became interchangeable and mingled.  Study in the hive mind was merely a matter of searching what had become your own expansive knowledge and memories rather than hearing or reading the words of a separate being. Kimmuriel often lamented that he should have been born an illithid. The hive mind knew this truth within the drow’s heart, of course, which explained why he was so welcomed here. One could not easily hide insincerity in this place. One could not easily hide anything from the illithids.

A large part of the individual that was Kimmuriel wanted to just stay here. Let Luskan and Bregan D’aerthe be the concerns of another. He could remain at the hive mind and caress knowledge itself, bask in pure thought, revel in memories as visceral as if he had walked those pathways in the lonely and singular drow form he had been forced to wear.

and then in THIS trilogy (way of the drow) kimmuriel has mentioned it's also going to be his afterlife as a way of rejecting the concept of a god-given one/escaping the clutches of Lolth, or any god, entirely

“The multiverse is a matter of divine numbers,” Kimmuriel said. “The particulars of the tyrant gods are merely noise—temporary noise in the ultimate eternity of it all. We are manifestations of pure and singular thought, grains of sand on an endless beach or drops of water in the endless ocean that splashes onto that beach. The hive mind is a conduit into that pure and singular thought. It is my destiny to directly merge, to become less speck and less droplet, and more a viewer of it all. You felt the power when we channeled it from the hive mind to obliterate Demogorgon those years ago. You felt it, the ecstasy.” this kind of description is also imo, implicitly has thematic connections to transcendence; kimmuriel is interested in it, he asks drizzt for his opinions as drizzt has gone through a similar process, he examines the memories of Kane’s own transcendence, etc. It’s not the same but it is similar. Transcendence is a process that is easy to initiate and hard to come back from because you essentially become one with the universe and it's so ecstatic and amazing that you have trouble remembering who you are as an individual, and if you lose that thread enough, you kinda cease to exist as like, yourself. You just get lost in the sauce, forever. but, some kind of strong emotion and focus can bring you back from it, if you go in with a purpose and you manage to maintain that purpose: 'ecstasy' is a key word here because kimmuriel uses it to describe what channeling the power of the hive mind/being tapped into that pure conduit is like, and vitally, to strengthen the connection, transcendence is also described this way:

“The body will not turn back and the mental and emotional discipline needed to deny that call of ecstasy is enormous. When you transcend, you will know such joy, unrelenting, even building as time, which becomes meaningless, passes, yet the time to find the needed discipline, the denial of pure desire, is short, and failure means that you will be forever removed from this existence. Afafrenfere just stared at him, jaw hanging open. “I know not how to put it more clearly or bluntly,” the ancient monk answered that blank stare. “You will not want to come back, and so you, as you are known and as you know yourself, will be no more.” So, i posted all that text, now i'm gonna get into the next bit Several books have established that Kimmuriel is lonely without psionic connection and the hivemind fills an unmet need in him.

 However, as a direct counterpoint to the hive mind and what it is capable of giving him (despite its love for him, and I do believe it’s reasonable to interpret this passage: Arguments came back at him from so many other corners of the hive mind, though. He was unique here, or nearly so. Only this synapse of the hive mind, this being named Kimmuriel, that existed in that drow reality in that world of Faerun, could bring in such expansive experiences and knowledge of that place. He would be limiting the hive mind and thus limiting himself if he lost the balance between recipient and source. as a kind of love, even if it is an ‘alien’ expression of it; Kimmuriel is worth more to them as an individual and not an illithid, even as an outsider, than he is joined and subsumed to them) we have...stuff like this:

Kimmuriel’s work here was done. He offered that thought to Pescatawav, and the Most Endeared excused him to go and tend to the more pressing problems he faced on his home plane, among his own inferior people. There was no sense of gratitude, no thoughts of hope that Kimmuriel would succeed. It just was. There were a few moments like this for Kimmuriel Oblodra, when he almost reconsidered his life’s journey, when he saw so plainly the difference between the sensibilities of the hive mind and those of Jarlaxle. His only friend. we also have jarlaxle getting kinda disassembled and put back together by the hive mind so his memories can be deconstructed and it's kind of funny but also Kimmuriel had been desperately worried about subjecting his dearest friend to the intrusions of the mind flayers. Perhaps he should have been more worried about subjecting the illithids to the sensibilities of Jarlaxle.

Jarlaxle is So Much that he’s kind of affected the hive mind. Good job buddy. But it means they now have that connective tissue: Kimmuriel cannot hide anything from the illithids including whatever strong feelings he has for Jarlaxle, and Jarlaxle is also very attached to Kimmuriel: “Kimmuriel is your second.” “He’s the other half of my first. In my part of Bregan D’aerthe, in my, shall we say, personal journeys, you are my partner.”

Like really attached: “Where will you go?” Jarlaxle pleaded when Kimmuriel didn’t answer. “ “You know,” the hulking possessed man replied audibly. “No,” Jarlaxle breathed. “I won’t let you!” Drizzt saw that Jarlaxle was fighting back tears. [...] “There is an emptiness . . . I will miss you, Kimmuriel,” Jarlaxle said, as quiet as Drizzt had ever heard the rogue.

Like, really really attached:

“I am lesser without you, my friend,” Jarlaxle told the image. “Both practically and in my heart.”

I could go on but I’m trying to make this short etc there’s like a fucking billion examples.

So. Kimmuriel is not content with just his mortal body on his own plane, which is a lonely existence, or just feeding his mind which is essentially what the hive mind does for him. He needs friends and people to like...make physical existence worthwhile to actually reach a pleasant equilibrium. His more passive suicidal tendencies actually sort of ebb after Generations, where he is considering mortality carefully but also is like "i'm not sure i actually want to die":

“So, he let you in there and he gave to you his memories of transcending the physical form.” “And now I understand better. But of course, there remain limitations on that understanding, because such an act may or may not be a permanent state of being.” “There’s only one way to find out the truth,” Drizzt admitted. “I am in no hurry to leave this life.”

So he's clearly found some sense of purpose to make being physical work for him , and again! A large part of that is Jarlaxle! He names other friends (especially Gromph) but a LARGE part of that is Jarlaxle.

And then he fucking dies of course I've shrieked enough about that lmao

and when he says goodbye he confirms that yes, he is going to his ideal afterlife, where Drizzt hopes he finds peace similar to transcendence:

“My time is ending,” the voice of Malagdorl repeated. “There is nothing to be done.” “Except to say farewell,” Drizzt said. “I will remember our talks on the road to the monastery, my friend. May you find oneness with the hive mind and peace in eternity.” “And you, warrior. Survive, I beg.”

joining the hive mind, a cluster of individuals swirling into a greater ‘being’ and is also referred to as ecstatic, is compared and contrasted to a process of becoming one with the universe that is hard to come back from as yourself because it feels That Good.

Got all that? Good. Because now we get to the epilogue of Lolth’s Warrior:

Jarlaxle left them, then, and went to his private room. He sat down before a table and pulled a cloth off the circular object resting in a tri-pronged stand atop it. He closed his eyes and reached out, hoping. A familiar image appeared in the ball a long while later, and Jarlaxle breathed a sigh of relief. “I am glad you are floating about this day,” Jarlaxle said. “You miss me.” This day, he heard in his mind, a most familiar voice. And perhaps again, now and then. Jarlaxle understood the unsaid part: Kimmuriel would not come to him at his beckon. Less so, came the thought in his mind. There is so much. So much. “And so much I still need from you.” You will be disappointed.

 [...] “I am lesser without you, my friend,” Jarlaxle told the image. “Both practically and in my heart.” It is the way of things. And that was it, and the spirit of Kimmuriel departed once more. Perhaps for the last time, Jarlaxle knew, though he desperately hoped that wouldn’t be the case. Here he is!  It’s not a summoning circle or a calling spell, it simply just seems to be that Jarlaxle reaches out and hopes that Kimmuriel will be around to answer him, and he does. Taking Jarlaxle's gay little sad thought calls, plural, because they have done this several times already, is worth it to Kimmuriel, enough to tear himself away from his ideal, implied to be VERY GOOD FEELING AFTERLIFE for.

Enough to maintain a sense of self and individuality because he speaks to Jarlaxle like he's the same person, just very distracted and its like WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS. like fucking. Im not even getting into the implications that it's rooted in love, like, the hive mind’s love for kimmuriel as an individual and kimmuriel’s love for jarlaxle and jarlaxle’s love for kimmuriel?? subtextually? becuase jarlaxle is the only one who has consistently treated kimmuriel like a person

To trust Kimmuriel is to trust a creature we cannot begin to decipher. Why Jarlaxle elevated him to lead Bregan D’aerthe, I will never understand.” “Perhaps Jarlaxle believes that he understands Kimmuriel.” “Then Jarlaxle fools himself.”

they are noted by other characters to be extremely close to the point that they have a trust bond that is rare among menzo drow:

Now, though, I witness a much different structure within Bregan D’aerthe, and one very much more powerful. For Jarlaxle has given to his followers something truly special among the Lolth-serving drow: an element of trust. And he does so by example. Jarlaxle has entrusted Kimmuriel Oblodra with the very leadership of the band on those many occasions when he, Jarlaxle, is out on some adventure or other. He has even tasked Kimmuriel with reining in his own worst excesses—with keeping Jarlaxle himself in line!

(also see the other half of my first thing; when Jarlaxle says Zak is his partner Zaknafein immediately rebuts it with “Kimmuriel is your partner”) they go from standoffish and awkward to like calling each other friends and kimmuriel being Totally Fine with jarlaxle just touching him unprompted, a guy whose personal space bubble is Don’t Fucking Touch Me Asshole:

“I hesitate to take Azzudonna, this woman I barely know and know not at all as a friend, and you expect me to subject you to the intrusion of the hive mind?” “Why, Kimmuriel, did you just admit that you love me?” Jarlaxle teased, but the psionicist was having none of it. “Good,” said Jarlaxle, nodding to his drow companions. “Then I want you to cast it now on my dear friend here,” he explained, wrapping his arm about Kimmuriel. and then kimmuriel dies and this literally does not slow him down. and then he dies and, as the epilogue shows, comes back to jarlaxle anyway.

like it's not even thematically inappropriate is what fucking gets me, because kimmuriel has already established he is someone who essentially lives in two worlds and needs both to be happy and the conclusion is that he doesn't have to choose, he can have both, and that mirrors jarlaxle's defiance of having to give things up to be 'good' Jarlalxle doesn't have to abandon everything he was just so he can become Good and Palatable to a surface world that doesn't give a shit about him (drizzt did this only out of desperation, even; his flight and rejection and all of it, for him menzo is a home that he wanted so badly to belong to, it hurts to leave, but he knows he has to because he can’t bear it. that’s a different essay though). he can have all of it, as much as he can carry. he wants all of it. he hates to let go of it. that refusal to let go saves almost three thousand people from menzoberranzan. kimmuriel's refusal to be forced into a choice means he comes back to jarlaxle in some way and form, even with the deck stacked against him to make it incredibly fucking difficult to do so and again, kimmuriel has literally everything he has ever wanted in dying, everything he's ever aspired to, the One Truth he’s been reaching toward, and it is, apparently, still not enough.

In conclusion:

“Look at yourself!” Gromph scolded. “You care. Kimmuriel Oblodra— and how remarkable that any Oblodra or Odran cares! Have you gone soft, then? Have you abandoned your sole goal in life, to find the One Eternal Truth along with those tentacle waggling illithids?” Kimmuriel wanted to deny his words, to deny him, but his responses sounded without conviction. “Have you become enamored of the flesh, Kimmuriel?” Gromph asked more seriously. “Have you found within your emotionless mind a bit of love for that which we mere mortals covet?” idk man look at it its on the ceiling. i dont fucking know. i truly do not know. i am not going to be normal about this for the next five years.

Bonus:

When Kane is talking to Afa about transcendence and Afa’s reasons for transcendence (he wants to find his dead boyfriend again):

“Nothing in the multiverse is more powerful than love, my friend,” Kane said, and he smiled, and moved his hand. 

Like sure okay whatever. Sure. It sure is huh.

[subir-astrologer]

MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT VEDIC ASTROLOGY

This indeed a nice question which will definitely help many people in better understanding of Vedic astrology.

There are many common misconceptions about Vedic astrology among common people and that is deep rooted in the society and people believe it much than the real Vedic astrology and still question the astrologer if it is correct or should they not follow it.

One of the biggest misconception about Vedic astrology is that it is a miracle making shastra and has got remedies to all kind of issues / problems in life.

People feel that with the help of remedies they can easily get rid of their problems and so they are ready to pay any amount of money for it.

Such kind of people becomes prey of quack / fraud astrologers who will lure people with the remedies to get rid of their problems quickly.

Lets understand with an example : A couple is not destined to have children by normal way as per their Vedic horoscope. So even if they does costliest of costly remedy then also, they can not have children by normal way. This is the bitter truth.

A remedy only works only when the event is promised as per horoscope, but there are hurdles and difficulties to achieve it, and there remedy helps in minimizing the negative impact of the hurdles there by easing it a bit for achieving it more easily.

The next misconception is about Saturn that it is a cruel planet and it always gives pain and difficulties and specially the sade sati period breaks down a person.

This is fear of Saturn / Shani dev is deeply rooted in the society and people have wrong knowledge about Saturn and its quality.

People think that the Saturn mahadasha and the sade sati will finish a person’s growth and they can not prosper during that operating period.

Shani Dev / Saturn is a teacher called Karmadata and he keeps a person in check by awarding for good karma and punishing for bad karma ( actions ).

There is misconception that moon and Jupiter is good planet and so any one can wear the ring of yellow sapphire for Jupiter and a pearl for moon.

This is completely wrong as if the Jupiter and the or the moon is signifying bad houses in their horoscope then it will create havoc in their life.

People feel that one should not directly wear a blue sapphire ring as it may cause problems and to check that the society knowledge people says that one should keep the blue sapphire gemstone in their pocket for 7 days and see if any bad / wrong incident is happening with them or not. If one stumble while walking due to their own fault then also they should think that its due to the wrong blue sapphire gemstone and should avoid wearing the ring.

In another method society people say that one should keep the blue sapphire gemstone under their pillow while sleeping at night for 7 days and if they have bad dream then then they should avoid using it for ring.

This is very funny misconception about understand a gemstone for remedy.

BUT the society’s misconception knowledge is more powerful than the real knowledge of Vedic astrology and so people still go much with their mis-conceptional knowledge more. CAN’T HELP.

Many people are scared about the rahu and ketu mahadasha also and feel that they will face worst difficulties during that period.

This is because when a person is learning the basic astrology then they are taught about good and bad planet in general to start with. But when one learns the advance Vedic astrology then they understand that every planet is good, bad and neutral. They act as per their significances as per that horoscope.

Now what I am about to speak is very very important for people in this modern world.

There are very clever and intellectual people who thinks that they can plan their child birth by consulting a good Vedic astrologer and get good time for their child’s birth and thus the child will have custom made best destiny and will be most powerful child of the future who will have all kind of wealth and knowledge and will live a very happy and beautiful life.

This is absolutely rubbish.

This cannot happen so. GOD has not given the power to human being ( astrologer ) to decide the destiny of a human being and customize it as per the need of the parents. NO no no no. NOT POSSIBLE.

But as I said that the society misconception knowledge is more powerful than real Vedic astrology and so many people still go the astrologer to plan their baby birth timing and gets looted by the fake / fraud / quack astrologers.

I hope that readers will get some insight and understand about some of the misconceptions about Vedic astrology.

[seiwas]

hi sel!! #3, 23, & 24 for the end of year fanfic asks please!!

noos!! aaah thank you for sending 🥺

send me any number from this fanfic writer ask game!

#3 favorite line/scene you wrote this year

omg a favourite line is impossible bc i sadly forget what i write the moment i hit post 🥲 but i will say!! one of my fave scenes to write was the car scene from this megumi fic 🥺 mostly because it's personal to me!!

And you think, with your music playing over the comfortable silence you’ve built, being in his passenger seat one too many times—this feels nice.  Any other day and you’d hate traffic as much as the next person, but not right now.  Megumi’s eyelashes are long, pretty, stretching on for miles—and you wonder if this drive with him can extend to the length of them, if you can stay in this traffic jam a little longer just to be in this moment with him.  “Sorry, are you cold?” Megumi asks, interrupting your stare.

i always try to include 1-2 lines that feel ~satisfying bc i think my sentence constructions are really simple!! so to add some kind of dynamic to it i guess!!

#23 fics you wanted to write but didn’t

omg my wip list grows by the day noos 🥺 i wanted to write my ex!bakugo fic this year but am so intimidated by him that i struggle to start even tho i have everything in place alr 😭

there's also an escort!reader x nanami idea that i have but will probably never write 🥹 it's a skill gap on my end i think sfbsdhfsj idt i'm a good enough writer to give justice to that kind of concept!!

also wanted to write more for my iwa series this yr but figured i'd wait till next year when the hq hype comes back!!! (am gonna re-edit everything!! might reformat it too)

#24 favorite fic some unforgettable fics you read this year

noos... you opened a dam with this question... how can i possibly just choose one... are you kidding me... i can't choose one... so i'm putting everything under the cut... gonna give myself 5 per fandom 😭 (you can tell im very partial to friends to lovers 😭😭😭)

also!! there are a lot of fics in my tbr that i haven't gotten to yet!! and everything i reblog is pretty much a fic i recommend 🥹

hq!!

over the course of 24 hours by prettyiwa (iwaizumi hajime x reader) [10k. friends to lovers.] my favourite iwaizumi fic ever 🥹 i reread it once a year hence why it's here

an observer of longing by shibaraki (iwaizumi hajime x reader) [18k. friends to lovers.] took me like 4 hours to read this bc i wanted to savour it. and was lying down in bed, staring up at the ceiling crying when i was done 🥺

miya atsumu and the chronic lovesick disease by fushisagi (miya atsumu x reader) [12k. friends to lovers.] the thematic consistency in this is so good & i still think abt this to this day!!

long shots by ahtsumu (miya osamu x reader) [5k. TA!atsumu.] solidified me reading for osamu—he's soooo attractive here.

seasons by mintmatcha (hanamaki takahiro x reader) [6k. friends to lovers.] fully roped me in being a makki fucker 😭

jjk

half agony, half hope by seravphs (gojo satoru x reader) [ongoing series. knight!gojo.] superb. that's really all i can say about this. the want and tension is gripping.

wormwood by linkcities (gojo satoru x reader) [25k. friends to lovers.] heartwrenching and achey. so so good. 🥲

oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now by twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat (gojo satoru gen fic) [5k. canon divergence.] such an interesting look into something i don't normally see written on gojo. written beautifully too!

(though we may) fall apart by stellamancer (gojo satoru x reader) [4k. canon compliant ish.] amazing buildup & the tension is insane too. 🤧

keeping up with the fushigojos by augustinewrites (gojo satoru x reader)

[ongoing series. found family.] sooo cute and feel-good. their lil family lives in my mind rent free!! 🥹

bnha

i like to call myself wound but i will answer to knife by kirketeer (bakugo katsuki x reader) [59k. enemies to friends to lovers.] i reread this once a year oh my god it's one of my fave fics ever.

you had only to look at me by willowser (bakugo katsuki x reader) [7k. friends to lovers.] reread this recently and was tearing up by the end omg.

all the times i told you by gardenofnoah (bakugo katsuki x reader) [8k. established relationship.] the most teeeendeeer bakugo i've ever seen and i tear up every time i read this.

love to love you by shibaraki (midoriya izuku x reader) [2k. established relationship.] another one that's super soft. such a raw tenderness to this 🥺

nitroglycerine by alrightberries (bakugo katsuki x reader) [1k. fwb to idiots to lovers.] the dialogue here is amazing and there's so much in the unsaid i am gnawing my fist.

[heretherebedork]

But he's talking to him in the rain. What is happening that ends with this? It's still raining in this moment and they're talking. What is going on?

I can't even begin to make a prediction or a guess because none of it makes sense unless we start making some strange theories... so I'll try that.

Theory 1: Tien doesn't realize he's experiencing hearing loss when he starts talking and can actually hear all of them in the rain. This feels unlikely to me but is possible depending on what the show is doing with the soulmates deconstruction that it's been playing with on and on. But also somehow feels out of place. I just don't know.

Thoery 2: Lomfon can hear normally but also hear Tai and Patts in addition. This would also, of course, flip the entire concept on its head and turn everything inside out. But in a lesser way, for me, than Tien joining them all in the rain. Lomfon seems to the exception to a lot of things. But this also brings up a lot of world building questions I'm not sure I want to ask.

Theory 3: Tien and Lomfon are yelling in the rain but aren't really talking to each other. This is the most painful theory I've got. That, yes, they're both shouting and looking at each other but they're not hearing each other. This set up to look like they can understand each other but they can't at all.

Also, what about the keychain?!

(I am now certain that the keychain came from Tien. The entire story of this show and their deconstruction/reconstruction of soulmates appears to be focused on how thinking about destiny or fate in your love will hurt that love so Lomfon thinking of the person who gave him the keychain as his first love and smacking Tien's hand away from it actually fully points towards the idea that the keychain came from Tien and that if Lomfon didn't have his own ideas so firmly wrapped up in his beliefs that he would have realized who it was from... but that's just a theory. A BL deconstructing soulmates theory)

[spongebobafettywap]

seems like there's a lot of people like that anon who genuinely do not know the destiny and mystique parentage was not only NOT the original parentage for nightcrawler but that was scrapped so early on, we got a decade of stories with claremont that couldn't have made it a thing without completely retconning what he effin wrote. i think what didn't help this were fans who spent two entire decades falsely repeating it so many time like it was a mantra that it got seared into the minds of folks who don't even read xmen (no joke)

i used to be a big fan of a blogger called nathan summers on world press. technically i still am but dude dropped off the map years ago... maybe comics finally broke his heart. he was an old claremont fan at heart and even he knew that parentage wasn't the original one (he also highlighted that the writer who first mentioned it being the original plan wasn't even claremont, it was lobdell). he even gave evidence that claremont might have started thinking about it years after he wrote dofp, after he introduced rogue as being raised by mystique and destiny, after he introduced margali, after he clearly gave mystique a power limit, after he came up with nightcrawler's backstory with the szardos, ... like claremont would be retconning himself with that one parentage. it was thanks to NS that i found out about the nightmare parentage being a thing and his evidence for why it was the first and really original one was editorial interviews at the time (you can still find that trivia fact with a reference on wikipedia pages of nightmare too) and traces of the scraped idea in issues that did come out

it never hit me back then how super weird it was for nightcrawler's backstory from present day to when he was baby to be all revealed in a crossover book with doctor strange. it never registered with me how out of place that was to reveal it here and not in a normal xmen book or story (as opposed to magneto, rogue, madelyne pryor, storm, cyclops, ...). so when NS talked about the nightmare parentage, it all just clicked in my head. the way nightcrawler's inferno went down must have been how that scrapped idea would have went "according to plan" before it was shot down by editorial up until margali was revealed (instead)

then there was another proof NS gave that sealed the deal for me for how the mystique and destiny parentage really wasn't the original idea at all and it was in the same book claremont started giving nightcrawler's backstory

if nightmare was originally the father in the scrapped concept, nightcrawler's biological mother was canonically a poor gal that was just dead because that very crossover literally had her dying right next to him when margali found them. this also answers the age old question of "why is nightcrawler's last name wagner if he was raised by the szardos family who never met his parents?" : it's because margali took him under her care FROM his biological mother as she was dying right before her eyes and said mother probably told her the first name she wanted him to have and his full name to legitimize his parentage

I know but I really just have to stamp it down that it wasn't the original idea because that isn't how chronology works lol, its not even hard to find this information online I found it years ago when I first became a Nightcrawler fan. I don't get why people think Destiny/Mystique was the first idea or some are so invested in that narrative that they just bend over backwards to make excuses of how "well Nightmare was thought of first but um well you see um it was scrapped so early on it can't be the first idea" like what are you talking about? You just admitted it was the first idea.

I don't blame Nathan Summers for dipping out, around the 2010s Comics started an even worse decline as the events became more frequent and storytelling took a backseat. But yeah even on his blog there's some details about Mystique such as making her in her 30s which means at one point Mystique was intended to be closer to Nightcrawler's age which would have made her unable to be his mother. And as you said they originally stated his mother died besides him hence how he had the name Wagner instead of Szardos.

I used to think Mystique was always intended to be his mother but even that is wrong because apparently Cockrum never stated Nightcrawler's mother was Mystique in his pitch to Legion of Superheroes. So yeah Nightmare was originally the only major character that was going to be Nightcrawler's father, his original intended parent was going to be a Demon and he was going to have inherited his mutant side from his deceased mother. That demonic parentage angle for Nightcrawler that these fans hate so much was the first idea for his father by Claremont.

[puella-1n-somn10]

🍁🍂 Fortress Magica [ A TF2 / PMMM AU Concept ] 🍂🍁

...Welp; I caved. Someone had to make a Team Fortress 2/Puella Magi Madoka Magica crossover someday, and that someone had to be me. The brain maggots worms were too strong.

So, before I open this can of concentrated ramblings and bullshit, I do have to write down out the groundworks of this AU in order for it to make sense in the context of both universes and to make it easier for both myself and my remaining sanity left. As such, the rules are as follows:

Outside the help of incubators, humans are still able to gain magical abilities from other sources, so Merasmus and the Bombinomicon aren't necessarily connected to Kyubey and the likes. Akin to the elements of the air we breathe in, however, they all function under the same label of what we deem as "magical", so these different systems of magic do tend to coincide with one another.

Girls are not the only ones who are able to contract with Kyubey, though they are the most common demographic. I have a long-ass rant on why I chose to say "fuck canon" on these grounds, but now is not the time for it.

The history and worldbuilding of Team Fortress 2 stay mostly the same; the Blu vs. Red team, Grey Mann taking over, Australium, Saxton Hale- all the likes, baby.

Since we were not given the definitive end of the comics, I'll leave it up to ya'll on whether the AU takes place after Saxton takes over Mann Co. and diverges the timeline from there, or that, somehow, everything was back to normal after that cliffhanger of an ending is all up to you. This WILL be important later down the line, especially when we get to Medic's part.

I will be referring to the masculine individuals who have contracted Kyubey as either Puer Magi or Mahou Otoko (Magical Man), the masculine version of Witches are called Hellerunes, and the plural version of those who have contracted are Magicae. If there are any errors with these decisions, please PLEASE lmk so I can correct them accordingly.

Building upon the above point, a Puer Magi's equivalent to a Witch's Kiss would a Hellerune's Touch; both being common types of love languages that have been twisted for the purpose of causing despair amongst mankind.

Ah, now that we got all that out of the way, I also need to point out that I, admittedly, have no clue on what I should do with Sniper, Soldier and Engineer; I still need to look up the foremost former's lore and character writing, Soldier's a wild card, and we weren't given a lot of info about Engi. On top of that, be prepared to realize that some sections are WAY longer than the others; I am still catching up on TF2 lore and the comics, so I apologize in advance for missing info, apparent character favoritism, etc.

Lastly, if you guys have your own tips, interpretations, or even whole-ass AUs surrounding the topic, please do share them!! I really wanna know and see ya'll's takes on a PMMM AU- it's so fun!

And with all that said and done, let's get down to the meat and potatoes of this topic, starting with....

--

Scout

Ah, the literal gift from God to straight ladies everywhere, and, no, that is not hyperbole. With a fate like that, a backstory of being the underdog amongst his family, and familiarity with bloodshed, you bet your ass that his karmic potential would be off the charts; possibly moreso than either Tart's or MADOKA'S.

When you look at his character, it becomes increasingly evident that he is prime candidate for being a Magi; outside his karmic destiny, he is the most, let's say, volatile of the mercenaries- the most likely to actually burn himself out due to sheer cockiness and pride alone - one second he believes that his soul gem is fine and dandy, then the next he sees how dark it became and goes "oh shit" -.

This is also without mentioning the potential reason why he would contract in the first place; deep beneath his egotistical exterior, you can see that he wants to keep bettering himself- to get stronger and faster, and for what? Well, either to impress the dames, or to protect his mama. After all, we all know that the "disappearance" of his father is such a painful memory to him that he dropped the tough guy act just to tell Heavy that he would rather not talk about it, period. So his wish would be related to wanting to keep his family safe- by becoming stronger.

--

Spy

Now you see him, and now you don't. We don't know much about the Spy outside of the barebones, evident details; he hailed from France, possesses technology that allows him to become invisible at will, is able to seamlessly, successfully disguise himself as any person in mind, and is Scout's mom's...buddy. True to his profession, the Spy is an enigma through and through, so the difficulty of properly placing him in this jigsaw puzzle of a universe is inevitable....

or is it? In the Naked and the Dead comic, he's disguised himself as Tom Hones in order to make sure Scout passes on peacefully, and admits to having hooked up with his mother- and conceiving him as result. As Scout closed his eyes, Spy reverts back to his real form, telling him how he was so proud of him- his own son.

A traumatic disappearance, immense karmic potential, the themes of gifts, and the spy's ability to be a literal chameleon...

Now, personally, I am unsure about Spy's wish that not only ties into his traumatic disappearance and Scout outright refusing to talk about it, but it should be tied to his canonical powers- whether it's his ability to turn invisible, him being a master of disguise, or both. I'd also wager that he's a veteran Puer Magi- and, as we all know, a magi gets weaker the older they get (the witch Roberta is one such example), so, over time, he's begun relying more on his intellect and deception than raw strength alone in order to win a fight.

--

Demoman:

He can see the Incubators even to this day. He claims to have killed the Loch Ness Monster. He has a possessed eye socket. The Eyelander is a sentient weapon, so you bet your ass he knows most of the rudimentary details about magic-

He is not a Puer Magi.

After he had lost one of his eyes and was returned to his biological family after accidentally killing his adoptive ones, a deep pit in his heart was formed and hollowed him out- from the expectations of him parents to the traumatic incident causing his eye to be removed, he was aimless, and, soon, fell into the hands of a witch-

Yes, yes, I know that this is similar to how Madoka met Homura, but remember: he had at least some skills as a demolitions expert at that time, on top of the whole possessed eye socket thing (which may or may not have a certain effect when wandering through witch domains). This is Tavish fucking Degroot we are talking about, so, even as a wee tot and influenced by a witch's kiss, you bet he's managed to blow that witch into smithereens right before whatever group of Magicae got to it. If Homura was able to do it with non-magical weapons, so could the iron-willed Tavish.

(either that, or he did get saved by a bunch of Magicae- it all depends on your interpretations, and I personally wanted throw him a bone here)

As the barrier dissipated, a grief seed slowly fell from the sky nearby the exhausted child. Whether he was curious as to what it was or saw it as once of his very first spoils of way, he took it. Whatever research a child like him at the time was able to do yielded barebones results; ranging from only talk and scraps regarding unresolved tragedies, to the unexplained runes that he was sure he's seen in that barrier.

So many threads, but very little leads - if any -. Tavish looked at the grief seed in his hands...

If he was going to get some answers, he was gonna hunt them down himself.

It wasn't tough to find another witch- or, rather, it was no challenge for another witch to come his way; with his eyesocket and that grief seed in his hands combined, he's practically become a magnet for all things magical. This time, however, Tavish was more than prepared if things got too nasty...and he wasn't alone in the hunt-

In the midst of debris and shifting magic, the silhouettes of multiple Magicae - and an odd, mishappen fox thing - came into view. Both sides had their fair share of questions; the context and absurdity of it all on Tavish's side, and the inherent impossibility of an ordinary human being able to take down a witch on that of the veteran magical people. Considering the pros and cons, the group made an alliance with the young boy, as an ever-curious Kyubey looks on- intrigues by Tavish's peculiar abilities.

Over time, the young lad and the veteran magicae grew closer, even if it was still odd to them that Tavish didn't contract. It wasn't that he didn't want to be a magical boy - he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious over the idea of having any wish he desires come true, and he was damn close to contracting several times, too -, yet experience with magical artifacts have left a sour taste in his mouth, so he had his suspicions. He'd wave his hand at the ferret thing and say "Probably another time."

Despite the apparent ups of the Magicae life, there were also the many downs in this rollercoaster. Though he was closer to the sidelines, Tavish was able to witness all the downfalls that come with this duty of becoming bound by Kyubey's sick rules.

By the time he was a teenager, the last member of their group fell - shattered their own soul gem in order to spare themselves the inevitability of becoming a witch -, and all he was able to do was...walk away with their body in his arms between tears; a noble person like them deserved a proper burial.

Without much consideration into his emotional strife, Kyubey inquired the demolitions expert whether or not he considered bringing the team back. He had all these chances to change all this handed to him on a silver platter, and he almost caved in numerous times - whether from guilt or the pressure from his "teammates" -; so why the hesitation? It wasn't as if he didn't need any additional magical abilities- so why couldn't he help his friends?

Help? Help them by bringing them back into this shithole of a life they fell into? A vicious cycle of betrayal, backstabbing, and inhumanity?

What befell each and every one of them was terrible, but it was outright selfish if he were to "save" them by dragging them into this endless samsara of horror.

Bitterly, the Scot scoffed at the alien beneath his feet.

"If I've got one wish..."

SQUASH

"Then I'd wish for ya to go back to whatever hell ya came from."

Nowadays, outside of his experience working with the Magicae and his knowledge of the incubators, he is still our lovable, honorable, sword-wielding drunkard. He eventually joined Mann Co. participated in the Gravel War, and the rest was history. The lives of the mercenaries were on the way of reaching a familiar beat and tune they were all comfortable with...

That was, until his eye caught the glimpse of something fuzzy and white.

His blood ran cold- and he was damn sure it wasn't the alcohol poisoning his senses this time.

--

Medic

(TW: mentions of Antisemitism, N-zis, unsanitary topics)

"It's the sound of progress, mein friend."

Our lovable quack doctor himself. Much like Spy and Pyro, we weren't given much information surrounding his backstory aside from his dialogue in Meet the Medic - in which he reveals that he has stolen a patient's bones and had his medical license revoked - and the subtle yet shockingly plentiful nudges towards his Jewish heritage and the, uh, considering the time period, he's had to escape his home in Germany due to All ThatTM. Yes, he has little to no respect for the hippocratic oath and the human dignity, but one can't help but wonder whether or not his apparent insanity did come from somewhere.

So, where can we go with the Medic? You remember when I said that the timeline will affect how we're gonna go with him? Because we are going the Hellerune route 100%.

Medic's obsession with his sick idea of "medicine", studies, and experiments will be his downfall, and I believe his wish has something to do with his advanced surgical techniques. After all, he's managed to fully heal Soldier without having to separate the blood types and by using his fucking underwear to get all the blood in the first place. It wouldn't be a stretch to already call him a witch in human form, not only due to said obsession, but also the fact that he has 8 souls sewn into himself sans his own.

Here's where the problem with the timelines starts to show; I am personally of the opinion that the souls Medic has were that of the Classic team's, because, if it were his teammates' souls, then not only would that not make much sense chronologically, but Sniper and Scout would have been barred from Heaven had it been the case. After all, Medic did sell one of those souls to Satan just for his pen.

If we were to go with the Saxton timeline, then the souls must have come from someplace else- since we also need a valid reason for Kyubey to target Scout; it wouldn't be in his best interest to target someone who is running around without said soul, after all.

So why am I blabbering on about the whole soul deal? Because, my dear friends, not only will they boost his Hellerune's powers - if we're going by the logic that the reason why Walpurgis is so stupidly powerful is because she's a fusion of several other witches herself -, but they'd also influence one set of his familiars.

Yes, I am aware that a witch's familiars are reflective of the witch's inner thoughts, their desires, and even goals; while Oktavia's Holgers exist solely to provide music for her, the Clara Dolls openly mock and berate Homulilly as she endlessly marches on towards her death sentence.

HOWEVER-

Holger was not Oktavia's only familiar throughout the timelines Homura went through; the first time she's ever seen Sayaka become a witch, the familiars that Oktavia had manifested in that timeline were the Klarissas, who were tasked to dance behind the witch as she focused on defeating the magical girls in her sights without giving a care for their wellbeing. Do take note that Holger and Klarissa both represent the two individuals who have aided in Sayaka's descent into despair; Kyosuke and Hitomi. Plus, let's not get into Walpurgisnacht's familiars, especially in the manga.

Besides, even if that wasn't the case, the souls have to manifest in some way. So whether his Hellerune's familiars look like random patients or the Classic team heavily depends on where this AU takes place in the TF2 comics' timeline. Either way, they ain't gonna be looking pretty.

Going back to Medic, I am certain that he seeked out the incubators himself; though his domain primarily focuses on human physiology, human experimentation and "medicine", he did showcase his fair share of intrigue towards magic whenever Merasmus is around, and even states that he has chosen the wrong field to study- that magic was the way to go. That's also without mentioning the wish-making aspect in all this- even if he would probably try and experiment on the incubator whenever he could, you bet that this would pique his interest from the get-go.

I'll be going by the possibility that Kyubey, whether prior to or during contracting, figured out that Medic had more than one soul within him- thus, multiple destinies. Status as a hivemind be damned, whatever Kyubey that Medic ran into hit the jackpot with that one.

Medic was already deep into immorality and obsession; while he would look for less-than-moral ways to keep his soul gem constantly functioning, all he'll be doing at this point was delay the inevitable- perhaps even unknowingly increasing his own karma in the process (whether or not this means even more souls being sewn into his system is up to ya'll). His fate was sealed as soon as his and the incubator's eyes met.

Aside from the familiars, the additional souls have also boosted his Hellerune's power and sentience- that, or it was his already-fleeting sanity that allowed him to stay aware in this new form. If Walpurgis achieved such strength via fusion, Medic was like this as soon as his Hellerune hatched.

His memories and moral standing as a Hellerune...wouldn't really change much. He's already caused more than enough despair as a human (just ask the classics and look at the money he blew just by siding with them /j); I bet he's still our old medic, just in a new body...and, boy, he's LOVING it.

And, yes, Archimedes would be another one of his familiars; he'll find a way to drag that bird into his barrier.

--

Pyro

So, remember when I said that though the kinds of magic Merasmus and Kyubey utilize are vastly different, they are still interlinked and are under one label? There are many a factors and intersections that come between these two systems, and, as we are going to dive into, Pyro is one of those links that tie them all together.

Depending on your own interpretation of Pyro, whether or not they are under Pyrovision 100% of the time, and how their Pyrovision manifests in the first place is all up to you. I will simply be talking about how this ties into the Madokaverse and try to make as much sense of it as I could, but, as I said earlier, I am all open for interpretations and suggestions.

You see, in this AU, Pyrovision kinda functions like the evert mechanic present in the game Eversion- that everything is somehow real and not just to Pyro; that Pyrovision is simply another "layer" or perspective of reality. As such, the logic of non-magi being unable to see witches, their familiars, or even the incubators does not apply to Pyro because their perception is vastly different from that of a common person.

Whether they've contracted or not and their perspective on the witches+familiars+kyubey+etc., again, it all falls on one's own interpretation of Pyro's character. I could start going on about mine, but that would lean too much into hc territories and this post was getting too long, anyway. ^^;

--

Heavy

Finally, we end it all with the big man himself, the face of Team Fortress 2; Mikhail. The stone-cold killing machine with a sound mind and soft soul (who else would willingly starve themselves just to keep animals alive? Much less personally name his own guns?).

Just like Scout, there are many a reasons as to why Heavy would be a target for contracting; much like Tavish, his backstory is riddled with tragedy- upon his father's death, Heavy, his mother, and his sisters were sent to the North Siberian Gulag due to said dad being a counter-revolutionist. They were there for 3 months, but it was still approximately 91 days of being trapped in a heartless, frozen hell- until a fire consumed the camp, the soldiers there perishing, and the prisoners - heavy and his family included - running free from the disaster.

A...frankly fucked up story so far, and let's not get into the implication that he might have had something to do with the burning of said gulag; that he risked his life for the chance of his younger sisters and mother to be set free. This speaks volumes of Heavy's role as a guardian figure to those around him, and as one of the most understanding and empathetic of the mercs next to Demoman and Engineer.

Above all else, the Heavy's duty revolves around the safety of his teammates, both during gameplay and in-lore. He values the lives of those around him, human or otherwise, and, like Tavish, has a sense of duty- in his case, it is towards his surviving family and the comrades of his team. What better wish would fit a giant like him than wishing to ensure the safe escape of his family and the other prisoners?

Yes, this does fit in rather well with the rules and present themes of karma and sacrifice PMMM is so well-known for. The contrast between his and Medic's destinies is evident; in which Heavy's empathy and the specifications of his wish have assisted in allowing him to live on for so long- to stay still and strong to keep on for his loved ones' sakes, while Medic's fervent fascination with his unorthodox experiments in the name of discovery, progress, and satiating his sick curiosity was eventually his downfall.

--

I wish I was able to write more here, I really do (especially Heavy's reaction to Medic witching out, and said Hellerune not only recognizing him but also calling out his name). Alas, it is 2 in the morning where I live atm, so I'll leave it all here for now. :'D Sorry!

[marzipanilla]

Fanfic writer ask game right back at ya ( ` ∇ ´ ), so:

How many wips do you have right now?

What is your least favorite character to write about and why?

Do you have a “guilty pleasure” (trope, character, au etc.) to read or write?

If you could erase any three tropes from existence, what would they be?

1) ahhahahahahhahahah wips, my beloved my beloathed

I have 28 incomplete works posted on AO3, some of them are abandoned, but quite a few are things I do intend to finish/return to. Unposted... I don't have access to everything I have laying around rn bc I am visiting people, but I have about... 24 unposted stories (mostly Invincible fic) and two of the series I have for Invincible have like 6+ stories vaguely hashed out in them each so that's like, another 12 if we're counting that lol

2) hmm. Even characters I dislike I don't necessarily mind writing for bc as long as I feel like I have a basis for how I feel the character operates it isn't difficult to write them per say. I guess this isn't a thing about difficulty though, it's about liking doing it. I guess this comes to, characters I don't know I hate writing about. If I feel like I am unfamiliar with them it becomes a struggle and it makes me hate my writing. I have a Power Rangers things on AO3 that I did for someone and I am 100% unfamiliar with the material and writing it was such a garbage experience (not bc of the person just for me) so. Characters I don't know. Hate it.

3) idk I try to take guilt out of the equation lol I guess whump? Just like, really dragging characters across the emotional and physical coals. A bit of a bleed over into the hurt/comfort genre I guess, I do like the exploration of healing, not as a return to normal, but as discovering how things have changed as a result of experiences? Love it. I guess a more silly answer is crossover AUs. Just going through an actor/author's past works and finding a way to mash them all together. I think that stuff is pretty fun.

4) hmmm. tropes to erase.

One true love. The idea that one person is the specialist special and all other previous relationships just don't matter/didn't count/don't compare. You can love more than one person over the course of your life! You can have more than one meaningful relationship! It's okay to love different people differently but just as intensely !

Chosen one stuff is pretty meh for me too. Like, the moment destiny gets involved a part of my brain goes oh? so it was all meaningless bc it was always going to be this person/situation regardless? When treated straight, not a fan, but when a concept gets more meta w it or actually does give choice (thus negating the pre-ordained railroading) I can take an interest.

The notion of a happy ending meaning everyone should be married and have babies. Could do without that.