#i am so fucking sorry for this one guys honestly

[voidedaurora]

I hope your partner breaks up with you. Because how can you say those things leading on Mel then blame THEM for it. WTF man, I sided with you.

I have no clue who you are, but the stuff Mels saying about me "leading her on" is completely untrue and was not what was happening. My entire relationship/friendship with her I was used as a rebound, second option, and generally just used period for whatever she needed/desired from someone any time she wanted it. Whether that be a rebound to act affectionate to after a breakup, or someone to vent about her sexual frustrations to. This mixed with rampant mental illness and nearly 3-4 years of having on and off crushes on her (where she'd give ME the whole "Im just not ready to date yet" talk leading ME on) all combined into a toxic idolization of her that caused me to be lowkey DELUSIONAL about my feelings for her and constantly walking on eggshells as not to upset her and make her distance from me As shown in her OWN screenshots you can see me sending vents that say stuff such as "I'm sorry you both love me that's so fucked up", that is NOT the only one of that type, at the time I had felt absolutely horrible for having feelings for the both of them, I'd been open about my feelings to BOTH Clover and Mel, expressing my distress at the situation as I'd felt torn to pick between the two and was a mess as a result of that. I was NOT happy about having the feelings I did and was aware it wasn't ending well for anyone either way, I felt stuck and obligated to appease the both of them at the same time so I didn't end up taking ANY courses of action in any direction and ended up becoming Aromantic as a result of all of this. I'm aware I should've ended things earlier than I did with all of those feelings, but I was open about these things with Clover and NEVER acted upon the feelings outside of having a conversation or two with Mel about said feelings. I'd like to note that in the stream, according to a couple of people she had mentioned off handedly I was high in those screenshots, which was why I was typing/speaking so oddly, this was around when I had been overusing/practically addicted to edibles, using them everyday. I was extremely mentally unwell and generally wanted to cut my life short because of everything going on around that time. This is not me trying to garner pity, or excuse any bad things I MAY have done within that time span but its an explanation. All of that to say, I was not in the correct mental state to be having a concise conversation about my feelings for Mel, and was not in the right mental to be wording things correctly. Some of you may think "well why didn't you correct you wording later on?" well, I wasn't lying to her when I'd said those things and talked about all of that with her, I just definitely should've worded things more carefully for both her and Clovers sake ,and honestly I didn't even remember this conversation until she brought it up :/ Its crazy she's trying to do all of this as if I hadn't JUST turned 17 when this was going on, AND was on substances which she was ALREADY aware of. Im just bewildered honestly Additionally, I went back in the conversation and she very kindly and conveniently left out these parts of the conversation where she literally goes "I know you're not leading me on" n shit. aswell as the fact the conversation literally began because she was complaining about being horny.

I am ABSOLUTELY not saying that someone cant have something done to them just because they say so, because that is dumb and untrue for many reasons. BUT, this is here to kind of point out the fact that she's spinning what was actually going on in some desperate attempt to paint me as the secret evil guy, or trying to distract from her own wrongdoings by giving ya'll something else to look at.

Either way, 2023 and early 2024 were really fucking rough times for me, I almost did not live through it and am so grateful for the ones that did end up staying despite my bad moments and helped shape me into becoming a better person. I definitely understand how this could come off as me leading her on and dissing Clover but I promise you that is not what my intent was, I was just expressing my feelings in the only way I knew how at the time and I'm sorry it wasn't in the Ideal/correct way </3 I'm doing alot better now and have been on a long break from any sort of dating/romance to shape myself into becoming someone that can love someone the right way that they deserve in the future. I've been making a huge effort to become better so I only ask that ya'll will stick around to see the better me I'm working hard to become </33 And again just to state, If Mel ever wants to sort these resentments/feelings out like adults, I've never had her blocked on discord and plan to keep it like that. This "callout" of hers isn't something illegal, it isn't something morally TERRIBLE, it isn't being sexual around minors, or ANYTHING CLOSE to being worthy of her airing my business out to her 100k or so subscribers LIVE, unlike my callout this is literally just her airing my stuff out, out of desperation and spite. Sorry this post is scattered, I'm just honestly unsure how to reply/explain everything without completely airing out my personal business and feelings

[korvidking]

my friends and i were discussing that rug. we decided this is what happened

that rug. that one. the one bill can supposedly see out of

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[a-tale-of-legends]

Like I love Piers. I do. But it will forever erk me on how he just. Pushes so much on Marnie. I don't think it's malicious by any means, it's clear he adores her. But again, the " team yell situation would've been out of control if it wasn't for her" as if he's not the adult there. Or the " I'm not much of a gym leader, so I want my sister to take over for me", despite her interests being. Not that atm.

And I don't exactly hate these flaws for Piers. I think they're really interesting! But both the game and masters kinda don't do anything with it. At least masters goes " yeah, my sister wants to be champion, so I'm still gonna be a gym leader for now and let her do her own thing " but it's still banking on the fact Marnie will eventually become the gym leader in her place. Like he doesn't mean to do this, but he's putting so much pressure on the girl. Him and team yell! And I don't think that's fair! But nah, they still have a good relationship - and I want them to! But I also want them to address this. I think their entire situation is just messy, and pokemon isn't exactly showing that.

I do think it's interesting, according to Marnie, she feels like the reason her and Piers don't argue is because Piers is holding back on her. And that she would want that sibling squabble. Like! God that's so interesting! And kinda sad! To know your older brother is holding back emotions for your sake! There's so much you could do with these two I swear, and yet! We don't get much!

[skylardoesthings]

PLEASE DOOOOO drop more or elaborate your hcs I'm starting to feel the eiliea illness creeping back up so might as well (the illness was never gone in the first place) also just realized your blog title. handshaking u on that we are in this asylum together 🤝 - @kumagorosh

LMFAO??? Yeah guys, im ill abt these guys, its funny that theyre not my favourite characters though.

Anyways i hope you like my insane ramblings, this is gonna be REALLY long so, you can see em all under the cut 👍

For the "in go, to the public Kiyama is Kira Hiroto, to his friends and family, hes Kiyama Tatsuya" hc, the reason why they found out his name is Tatsuya is because of Touko. No one knows how she found out, all they know is that one day during summer she appeared, saw Kiyama and went "HEY TATSUYA!" And watched him panic,

Inazuma Japan noticed that Kiyama and Mido sometimes tend to not answer them whenever they say their names, so they would say their alien names. When the two do reply by their alien names, they would yell "WRONG TRY AGAIN!" bc they are Not Gran and Reize anymore and they have to learn to not reply to those names

As for "The reason why InaJap was so nice to kimido was because of Dark Emperors" hc, it sorta came to me out of the blue while rewatching s3, Mido and Kaze are good freinds despite aliea and my hc is that is the reason why everyone warmed up to them – if DE didn't happen, Kaze wouldn't feel like he understood what Reize had to go through ans that feeling of inadequicy that followed them, if this makes any sense. (Note; if DE didn't happen, they would've either A. Not even be a part of InaJap or B. Be a part of it and get treated like outcasts, kinda like Fudou.)

Also all the sun garden kids, areori or og, knows how to fight btw. Og sun garden is just, better and stronger because of the Aliea Meteorite

ALSO BTW. This is game canon but like, aliea???! Is so fucked up in the games? Like Seijirou rlly was going to sell those kids as weapons of war and we went "wow, normal IE stuff." And Garshield too. Like what the hell

Anyways back to the hcs; Demonio, Kiyama, and Ronijo are friends! "How so?" You might ask, its the child experiments.

Prominence is very used to the heat and prefers it, they hate the cold.

Diamond Dust player, menawhile are the opposite, whenever it snows Hitomiko always has to remind them that they're human and need to be warm, so "Don't go outside without gloves or jackets–!" And they absolutely hate the heat.

Ok this is just semi canon bcz mido, but Gemini Storm totally has a inferior complex.

This is dubiously canon? But all of Eisei are on given name status with each other, and for the og cast, they're still a bit to awkward (well, more like strangers) with each other to do that, but in go they totally call each other by their given names

Ok now for my hyper specific hc where i have no idea where this came from but its something i like and kept

Reina is a psychologist! Maki is a nurse, why? Because honestly, with the way they grew up, they were probably frustrated a lot by all these different things would probably want to help themselves and others. Why them specifically? Idfk it just happened. Same thing with Mutou being a techie, Nagumo being a choach to bunch of kids (like handa in canon), and a bunch of other stuff

Ngl, my hc is that all the Kira's were probably in the spotlight post-aliea, so the hc that Shuugo probably lost a of friends when he was a kid was born,

Which takes me to the hc that he loves his friends and family. He's not ashamed to be a Kira, he holds so much pride for being one. One of his goal's for when hes an adult is to probably just make something for himself, be someone he himself could be proud of,

I honestly have ZERO idea where i got my "Kiyama sees a lot of himself in Kariya" hc, but i think it was when i was rewatching s2 and went "wow thid guy has a lot of similar mannarisms as Kariya" whenever i saw covert Kiyama+Gran

Which takes me to the, "Shuugo and Kariya are just mini versions of the aliea captains" hc, which is mostly by mannerisms. They probably unconsciously mimicked them or just adopted it into the way they do things or smthn idk. Hitomiko finds this adorable.

Ehm. Here's some of Shuugo and Kariya actually why not, mostly shuugo because... he's my favourite.

The whole "they're complete opposites of each other" bit is mostly based on my other headcanons, but also from Shuugo's recruitment needs + kariya's canon behaviour. (shuugo's talks for the both of them, and kariya in turn, insults people for fun)

Shuugo likes to fist-fight people btw, he's nice and calm, but he has anger issues, and when someone pisses him off bad he'd start fist-fighting people, which is pretty often. (Kariya in turn, gaslight people. for fun. like father like son, I guess?)

Nagumo taught both Shuugo and Kariya curse words.

Shuugo was the one who came up with the idea of Masaki transferring to Raimon (the moment he joined the soccer club, shuugo went through all five stages of grief at once)

oh yeah kariya and shuugo have a sibling-like relationship. idk if you can tell from all the previous hcs.

literally no one knew that they know each other, so one day during the match of raimon 1gun vs raimon 2gun in s1 of go, they started talking to each other post-match and everyone was just "????? since when ???" and the revelation that kariya is an orphan and shuugo knows him because his cousin(??) is the "owner" of the orphanage opened,

also because of kariya and shuugo knowing each other, the two of them (along with ichino and aoyama!) sorta become the bridge between raimon 1gun and raimon 2gun! they have a lot more joint practises and team 2 are able to play in official/friendly matches!

Also fun fact, Shuugo was supposed to have a character arc similar to Hikaru's when he was first introduced in the sequel for go s1, aka, Chrono Stone, but as we can see that never happened. Anyways, i totally do NOT have a whole ass plot and am writing a fic of this for myself. nope, Nuh-uh.

(i am, i just stopped writing it cause i got stuck with a bit I cannot write to save my life :sob:)

wow this is. really long, i am so sorry if this makes no sense, and I'm sorry in general.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

some days the "fire off missiles because you hate yourself but do you know you're demolishing me" and "let all your damage damage me" and "I gave you all my best mes, my endless empathy" and "in the shade of how he was living" and "how much sad did you think I had in me?" just really fucking hit 😵‍💫🥴

[sunnwalker]

Oghhhh Angel and Timothy's miserable awkward and just horrible dynamic (Thinking about it (I want Angel to rip into him I need her to be mad at him idc she deserves to bully him))

[trauersinfonie]

2 am post but i think luffy loses a lot of his appeal to me in fanon because people shave away his genuine weirdness to make him fit the must-protect sunshine cinnamon roll slot every anime must have in order for the fandom to make incorrect quotes and fill out draw-your-squads with

maybe it’s just my problem with the way people handle autistic characters in fandom spaces just in general but man i promise to you you can go one media without forcing a character to be the SpongeBob-esque do-no-wrong wooby

[silverselfshippingchaos]

it's way too early in the morning for me to be down in the dumps about myself LMAAOO

[ev-enhotterthanyou]

'yeah its np, I don't care!'

fifteen minutes of quietly sobbing into my pillow later: 'okay. so I decidedly do care'

[tonyglowheart]

Okay, wait lmao. I got to chap 45 and was surprised too see what I think is That Betrayal that I see some people get so so hung up about. Is this it? in Chapter 45? Chapter 45?? out of 128?? Like the way I saw some ppl cite it as a "I like yanshen except-" or like this is an unforgiveable thing by YWS.... and it's like. idk man, we're not even at the halfway mark yet. YWS is still like in his enacting his theorem on the world to try to get SQ to see it as a proof of concept stage. It also didn't really feel like it came out of nowhere at least not for me lmao, I was like, yeah this makes sense as a next step, like. whatever YWS does has to be an escalation and it has to come from him, and it has to be something that WOULD be personal like this. Especially after SQ called him his friend (even if part of the excuse was that it's easier to explain and etc)

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

I wasn't able to talk about it because my internship went from 9 to 9 and i just got home..... But like y'all have no idea how much of a shitshow voting count today was. Nov 5 ass type of elections

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

[quirkle2]

i am literally so hungry and yet i am like paralyzed in my seat. why can't i get up and go get food. why am i just sitting here while my stomach wallows in agony. i feel ill. jay be normal

[linagram]

[𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚗'𝚜 𝚝𝟷 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊] 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛

i hope you all know that i do my evil genius laugh whenever i come up with the voice drama titles

shun's voice drama is here! (yes, i decided to post it before akio's trial results, i got tired of waiting dhdjdkd) again, this one was a bit hard to write. i didn't know how i want it to go, but i knew that shun is supposed to say his t1 trailer voiceline. so you'll finally find out the context for that voiceline!

(note: i probably should mention that i didn't write shun's character with any specific mental illness in mind. it's just hard for him to tell what's real and what's not and his brain makes him forget about all the bad things that ever happened to him to "protect" him. this is actually something that often happens to me as well. so yeah, he just acts like that because of stress.

however, remember that shun is smarter than he looks and he will take advantage of people knowing that there's "something wrong" with him. so yes, it doesn't mean that he's actually faking it, he really does have memory problems, but he still can pretend to forget something on purpose. this is why eiji wants miki to ignore all that and says that shun is either a huge liar or he's just dumb. (sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, by the way, but.. that's just what kind of person eiji is, he doesn't care what problems you have, you're just another murderer to him)

anyway, that's it, i hope you enjoy this voice drama!)

(divider link)

(sounds of footsteps)

Eiji: Now this.. this is a weird one.

Eiji: I mean, most of them are weird, but Prisoner 003 is one of the most unforgivable ones.

Miki: Really? Why?

Eiji: You'll see. Just remember not to fall for his tricks.

Miki: .. To be honest, I think you see everyone here as unforgivable, Eiji-san.

Eiji: Of course I do. All of them are murderers, Guard 002. All of them deserve to be punished for what they did.

Miki: .. Hey, Eiji-san.

Miki: Do you.. want something bad to happen to the person who hurt you in the past?

Eiji: !..

Eiji: W-what does that mean?

Miki: I mean.. Aimi-chan was right about your injuries, wasn't she?

Miki: So.. would you take revenge on the person who brought you so much pain?

Eiji: Why would you bring up this topic now??

Miki: BECAUSE EVEN IF I BRING IT UP LATER, YOU'LL STILL REFUSE TO ANSWER!

Miki: So tell me, Eiji-san, would you hurt that person back?

Miki: Actually, would you.. kill them?

Eiji: ...

Eiji: I.. I would love to see that person die.

Eiji: He deserves it.

Miki: See? That would make you a murderer too. Even if you had a sympathetic reason, you would still look like a sinner in your own eyes.

Miki: So.. I just want you to at least try to understand these people. Not all of them are cruel and cold-hearted murderers. Some of them would never kill anyone if it wasn't for the circumstances.

Miki: We can't just vote all of them guilty without even trying to listen to them!

Eiji: .. Prisoner 003 is waiting for us.

Miki: .. Right.

(door opens)

Eiji: Well, hello there!

Shun: ...

Eiji: Hellooooo-

Shun: ...

Miki: Um, can he even hear us?

Eiji: Well, I will make sure he does hear us.

(Eiji loudly slams his fist on the table)

Shun: Ah!

Shun: W-why would you do that?..

Eiji: Because you wouldn't answer.

Shun: I..

Shun: I.. didn't know how to answer.

Eiji: You know you can just say hello back, right?

Shun: Can I?

Eiji: (to Miki) Now, you see what I meant by him being the weird one?

Miki: Yes, but..

Miki: I kinda understand him.

Miki: I'm also too shy to say hello sometimes.

Eiji: .. You know what, you both are weird actually.

Eiji: Anyway, Prisoner 003, Ishizu Shun, 24 years old.

Eiji: Finally, I was starting to get tired of high schoolers.

Miki: But I'm also-

Eiji: You don't look much smarter than them though, Shun.

Shun: .. Sorry, I guess.

Eiji: Honestly, I'm surprised that you even managed to commit a murder.

Eiji: You don't look like the sanest person, so I can imagine you murdering someone, but also..

Eiji: You're kinda dumb.

Shun: Sorry-

Shun: Wait, murder?

Shun: So.. this really is a prison..

Eiji: Yes, this is a prison and you can die here if we decide you don't deserve to live.

Shun: D-die??

(Shun stands up)

Shun: No, listen, I can explain! I'm sure that all of this is a mistake!

Shun: I mean, yes, I did commit murder but..

Eiji: See? You just admitted that you're a murderer.

Eiji: Why should I forgive you after hearing that?

Shun: Because I had my reasons!..

Shun: I.. I had no other choice!

Eiji: Really? Just how bad was your situation if you had no choice but to kill someone?

(Shun sits down)

Shun: .. I just wanted to protect the person I love, that's all.

Miki: The person you love?

Miki: Like a family member or a friend?

Shun: No, my girlfriend.

Eiji: .. I refuse to believe that you had a girlfriend.

Eiji: I'm looking at you right now and I feel like the only woman who has ever hugged you was your mother.

Miki: Well, in my opinion, Ishizu-san is very pretty-

Shun: Um, I did have a girlfriend..

Shun: But we broke up.

Eiji: Okay, you dating someone doesn't sound so surprising anymore.

Miki: I'm so sorry to hear about that..

Eiji: Let me guess, she realized how creepy you are?

Miki: Eiji-san!

Shun: No, he's right. She thought I was too weird and.. decided to leave.

Eiji: Good for her.

Shun: And she got a new boyfriend right after that.

Shun: And he wasn't a good person.

Eiji: You were just jealous, weren't you?

Shun: No, no, he really was a bad person! He was always so rude to her, he didn't care about her wishes, he only cared about himself..

Shun: And I just.. I had to do something about it. I had to protect her from him.

Shun: I knew that if I let her stay with him.. he will hurt her sooner or later.

Eiji: Yeah, and killing him surely was the best option.

Shun: .. Well, what would you do if you ended up in a situation like this?

Shun: Wouldn't you try to protect the person you love more than your own life?

Eiji: I would just move on.

Eiji: She's not your girlfriend anymore, sure, maybe her new boyfriend really did treat her badly, but it's not your job to fix her relationship with him. It's not your job to save her.

Eiji: Also, think about it. She must be a smart woman, if she realized that you're weird and your relationship is unhealthy and decided to end it.

Eiji: So why would she suddenly start dating a person who was even worse right after breaking up with you?

Shun: .. M-maybe she actually wanted to leave him, but he wouldn't let her..

Eiji: Oh, now you're just trying to make yourself look better than him.

Eiji: It was so kind of you to let your girlfriend, who was terrified of you, by the way, leave! You're not like her new boyfriend at all!

Shun: Ah!..

Shun: S-stop pulling my hair..

Eiji: I hate guys like you.

Eiji: If I could, I would just execute you right here and right now.

Shun: Stop, just stop already! It's too painful!

Eiji: IT'S NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO DO WITH YOU!

Shun: SHUT UP AND LET ME GO!

Eiji: ...

Miki: ...

Shun: *heavy breathing*

Shun: .. Hey, what just happened?

Shun: Guard-san, can you stop doing this to my hair? It's kinda uncomfortable..

Eiji: .. You really are stupid.

Eiji: HOW COULD YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED LIKE A SECOND AGO?

Shun: *screams*

Shun: Please, Guard-san, stop this! I'm scared!

Eiji: DO YOU REALLY THINK I'LL FALL FOR THAT?

Miki: Leave him alone, Eiji-san.

Miki: He's scared, he has no idea what's going on, we won't learn anything from him if he doesn't calm down!

Eiji: It's okay, we can just watch his video later-

Miki: Shut the hell up and listen to me for once, Eiji-san.

Eiji: ...

Eiji: Heh. Do what you think is right then.

Miki: Thank you.

Miki: Now.. You're Ishizu Shun-san, correct? Do you remember that?

Shun: Yes.. Yes, I think I do.

Miki: Okay. What can you say about your life in Milgram? Is it comfortable?

Shun: .. I guess? It's not that different from my apartment anyway.

Miki: Oh.. I'm sorry to hear that your life before Milgram wasn't that good either.

Shun: It's okay, at least I don't feel as lonely as I used to before coming here. Eiko-san and Kei-san talk to me a lot. To be honest, sometimes I feel like they are.. um.. "interested" in me.

Eiji: Of course Kei would be "interested" in you.

Shun: But then I said that I'm taken and Eiko-san left me alone. Kei-san, on the other hand.. didn't.

Eiji: Of course Kei would-

Miki: "Taken".. Huh.

Miki: I apologize for asking this, Ishizu-san.. you probably don't remember, but you've already said that your girlfriend broke up with you.

Miki: However, you still say that you're taken.

Miki: So I wanted to ask.. Are you dating anyone currently?

Shun: I did.. say that?

Shun: My girlfriend..

Shun: Uh.. which one?

(bell rings, machinery sounds)

Eiji: Guard 002, it's time. We'll find out how many girlfriends he had after we watch his video.

Eiji: Seriously, just what do women see in him..

Miki: Wait, but this doesn't make any sense!

Miki: If you were so loyal to your ex-girlfriend, then why would you start dating someone else?

Miki: Please.. try to remember that, Ishizu-san. I just want to understand how your crime went and I feel like that information is important.

Shun: I can't promise anything, uh.. Guard 002-san.

Shun: I'm sure I will forget even this moment soon.

Miki: .. I see.

Miki: Eiji-san, you can start.

Eiji: Thanks for the permission, I guess?

Eiji: Prisoner 003, Shun, sing your sins!

═════════•°• ⚠ •°•═════════

[july-19th-club]

brave or suicidal thing of me to say but i was not that busted up over adult natalie's fate at the end of s2. for one i just never really enjoyed juliette lewis that much in the show she always seems like she's delivering all her lines while simultaneously eating a lemon. and secondly sophie turner's natalie and lewis's natalie are so very different that it almost feels like they're separate characters and i don't at this point have confidence that the show can actually convince me that young natalie will become old natalie. as things currently stand the setup just isn't there yet and they've had two years to telegraph it. the other characters are pretty clearly The Same Person despite all the years between their youth and their middle age and all of the ways in which the world and the wilderness have changed them. but natalie never really meshed for me so im not even sad im just like . well at least it wasn't [other character i'm more invested in]