#i am so Fucking exhausted
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was watching Dungeon Meshi today and had to stop and take 30 mins to carve this out for a new profile picture.
#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#i am so fucking exhausted#new pfp alert for all my austistic shalomies who recognize me by icon and not url
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The fact that America has become so used to school shootings, that they barely make the news anymore, or that they are just completely ignored, is so completely infuriating.
We should never be numb to children being fucking shot because of our legislator’s negligence. We shouldn’t have to accept this as a part of life. Children shouldn’t have to prepare for the possibility of death in schools.
Why do children need to compromise with death and not adults compromising on guns. Why aren’t adults protecting these kids they claim to care for. Why are they fighting imaginary boogie monsters and not the actual real deaths of children.
#apalachee school shooting#Georgia shooting#tw school shooting#tw gun violence#gun control#us politics#america#I am so fucking exhausted#thoughtflav
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i hate it i fucking hate everything about it i hate that it feels so bad i hate that things didn't turn out the way dream had planned to i hate that he feels awful about it i hate that we're at a dead end and everything feels unsettled and transitional i hate that quackity built an entire community around some of the biggest streaming spaces with no room for the dteam i hate that some days it feels like it's them against everyone else i hate that we can't just exist without a bunch of people praying for horrible things i hate it it makes me feel fucking sick
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#bpd rage#bpd#bpd fp#actually bpd#bpd favorite person#bpd thoughts#bpd mood#bipolar 2#borderline favorite person#bpd obsession#obsessive thinking#fear of abandonment#i am so fucking exhausted
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btw if u equate childe and aventurines backstory in any fucking way please leave this blog and unfollow me <3 preferably block me while ur at it too uwu
#havent you people done enough to systematically destroy his characterization already? genuinely curious#turning him into generic YA sadboy with no narrative purpose according to yall than to be traumatize meow meow smolbean#who has no greater purpose no greater relevance whos just a victim with 868 made up mental illnessess#and actually the fact that he canonically displays no typical signs of mental illness or distress proves he has giga trauma#because we all know the writers intention is always the thing they give 0 time on screen 0 hints at in lore 0 presence in canon#because you people are so fucking boring and incapable of basic reading comprehension that 'fantasy isnt 1 to 1 with irl psychiatry'#and 'stories can ignore real life logic of human psychology in favor of a desired narrative'#are like completely fucking incomprehensible concepts#god i am so fucking mad#like now the fact that another character hoyo wrote from a different fucking game#has some surface level adjacent qualities to ajax. and turns out to have a sad backstory#THATS fucking proof to yall? imagine reaching this hard .#none of you people have ever genuinely liked childe as the character he is canonically established to be#leave him the fuck alone#i am so fucking exhausted#but NOOOOOO listen childe is female coded with prey instinct and actually showing 0 signs of trauma is proof you have SUPER trauma#and him being mentally well off and clearly at peace with who he is in all its contradictions is just him brainwashing himself to believe i#AND IVE SEEN WORSE. IVE SEEN WORSE#god i am so fucking mad and exhausted and depressed like NONE of the people in this fucking fandom actually care abt him#as the banger fucking character he is#because he just has to be the most boring fucking YA archetype bc you ppl cant comprehend nor handle anything interesting .#anyway woops.#delete later
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election years are so depressing in amercia, a bunch of ads of shitty politions acting like they give two craps about us. Just get over with do we can settle into our new hell and begin learning to cope.
#Being american is depressing as it is embarrassing but theres always worse#Still doesn't make you not want to drink bleach.#I am so fucking exhausted
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Damn who would've thought that having school, hobby, workout schedule and part time job might be hard to menage
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#i am so Fucking exhausted#managing an overstimulated 3 year old#who is in turn overstimulating my mom#who has dementia#why god decided to make me handle this shit alone i'll never understand#i said i wanted a life to understand myself and creator said faggot! you will be living and sacrificing for everyone else
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#i am so fucking exhausted#i feel like i need another 2-4 hours of sleep#but i have to work so i aint getting them#also already pre-fatigued by the fact that i wont have any 'me-time' for another 50+ hours
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i am so fucking tired.
#im so fucking SICK of this bullshit#there is something seriously wrong except there just... isnt#and not one person is capable of the slgihtest amount of fucking sympathy#i spent the entire weekend thinking i had fucking brain cancer and not one person even tried to be useful#i am so fucking exhausted#i am sick of feeling alone adn im sick of needing to deal with the m#i cant fucking take any of this anymore#i dont know what to do anymore#i have never felt as alone as i have this year#for once in my life i just want to feel like they fucking care and i cant even have that
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..... I just watched Midnight Mass.....
Ha... Ha... I don't know whether to be crying or screaming in anger.
Oh my God... This show pissed me off so bad. So bad.
So well done though, holy shit. Everyone's acting was spot on.
Just... Fuck...
Oh my God...
#netflix#netflix original#midnight mass#netflix midnight mass#midnight mass show#oh my fucking god#i am so fucking exhausted
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Finished Eleven Minutes. Found out I've 6 more Paulo Coelho books in my 'to be read' pile. Had a huge huge huge fight at home. Cried a lot in the bathroom. Finished my loaded fries. Placed my propranolol by my bedside because a panic attack might be in order. My new book is Othelo by Shakespeare. Life's messy as fuck :)
#i am so fucking exhausted#tf ???#is this how life is supposed to be?#tw panic attack#tw personal#off topic#non f1#hera#hera core
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Putting in my formal request for life to stop dicking me around, where do I mail it?
#shai talks#i am so fucking exhausted#between work and my family im rapidly backsliding mental health wise#like i haven't wanted to actively end it in a while but boy howdy im feeling it today
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If I could have one wish come true, it'd be to be able to live a life where I don't mentally fight with myself constantly
#every single feeling or thought i have is immediately argued with#every single think i do or dont do is reason for my brain to tell me i am wrong#i am so fucking exhausted#I just want to feel and that be okay#god please i am fucking begging please let me be just let me be
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Guess who only got like two hours of sleep because they were in too much pain!!!
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I need to take a nap the moment I get out of work
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