#i am rocking back and forth wailing

[merlinspussy]

LOKI S2 EP5 SPOILERS‼️

Poetic cinema…

[dvdkisser]

Getting inspired by fanfics is crazy bc why am I pepe slyvia'ing together a massively filled out world ans lots of characters for a brand new very complex story about the nuances of stalkholm syndrome and how horrible it is to be the "lucky" bride to wealth with plently of body horror and dysmorphia... bc of an egg preg fic 💀

[cipher-the-sidhe]

Working on the draft of “What the Tide Keeps” and I KNOW that writing is a skill and a muscle that needs to be stretched and first drafts are often awful, but gracious goddess above and below this is PAINFUL

[strayingawayy]

midnight melodies

...where a droopy eyed jisung lulls his crying baby girl to sleep

it was 3 am, and han jisung was starting to lose his grip on reality. in his arms, their newborn daughter was wailing at the top of her tiny lungs, and he, half-asleep, was desperate for anything to calm her down.

“okay... okay,” he muttered, bouncing her gently. “you’re just... hungry, right? yeah, that’s it.”

she screamed louder in protest.

“alright, alright,” he said, rocking back and forth. “no food. no bottle. what do you want, sweet girl?”

she stared up at him, her tiny fists clenched, as if mocking him.

jisung took a deep breath, glancing around the nursery like it held all the answers. he spotted her han quokka plushie on the shelf and grabbed it. “okay, quokka, let’s try you.”

he held it up to her, but she screamed even louder.

"aish. so you're rejecting daddy and daddy in animal form too huh?," he said with a tired laugh. "huh ...maybe something... softer."

his mind was a blur. but then, it hit him. a song. he could sing her to sleep. he was han jisung, after all. how hard could it be?

taking a deep breath, he started softly, his voice still a little hoarse from lack of sleep.

“you are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” he sang, his tone gentle and shaky and accent prominent but soft.

the baby hiccupped mid-cry and paused for a brief moment, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“you make me happy when skies are grey,” he continued, growing more confident.

her cries had slowed down, and her tiny hand reached up as if to feel the vibrations of his voice.

“you’ll never know dear, how much i love you...” jisung crooned, his voice growing softer as his exhaustion began to catch up to him.

the baby’s eyes fluttered, her little face calming.

jisung grinned, his sleepiness fading as he realized his voice was finally working. "see? told you i was a pro," he whispered to her, though he could barely keep his eyes open.

just then, you walked in, rubbing your eyes and stifling a yawn. "you’re still at it?" you asked, glancing at your daughter, who was now dozing peacefully in jisung’s arms.

jisung, eyes half-closed, smiled triumphantly. “i’m basically a lullaby legend.”

you raised an eyebrow. “uh-huh. you sure it wasn’t just that song?”

jisung blinked, the reality of the situation sinking in. “i mean... yeah. probably.”

you chuckled softly and, feeling the need for a quick snack, went to the kitchen. but when you returned a few minutes later, the sight you saw made you pause in the doorway.

there was jisung, curled up in the crib with their baby girl, both fast asleep. he’d somehow managed to fit himself in the small space, one arm around her, his head resting gently on the edge of the crib. his breathing was slow and peaceful, a contented smile on his face. the baby, snug in his arms, had the faintest of smiles on her face as well.

you stepped closer, careful not to wake them, and stood there for a moment, completely taken by the warmth of the scene. the man you loved, the one who had been so anxious earlier, was now completely at ease, his little girl in his arms as if they’d been doing this forever.

you couldn’t help but smile. "well, i guess you are her sunshine too, sweetheart," you whispered to yourself, a soft laugh escaping your lips.

you carefully adjusted the blanket over them and kissed both jisung and your daughter’s foreheads, your heart full of love. then, you whispered, "sleep tight, you two."

and as you left the room, the soft glow of the night and the gentle hum of peace filled the air, your little family finally at rest.

[berritart]

thinking abt phone sex with abbyyyy #plz

abby could hear your hitched breathing through the phone, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

you were a mess, and she wish she could see how you were right now. the bottom hem of your nightgown held high up by your teeth, your fingers tracing over your clit through your panties. it was definitely a sight.

"need you abby..." you whined through the phone, wanting nothing more than to have your girlfriend between your legs. it was definitely ovulation time for you. you're usually horny but you would always handle it yourself. you never got to the point where you would have to call your girlfriend to get off, especially this early in the morning. it was only 10 am.

"what do you need me to do baby?" she asked, closing her journal. she got up from her desk and got in bed. she wanted all her attention on you, deciding to cut her study session short.

"just talk to me." you slip your hand under your panties, your cold fingers causing you to whimper in your phone. your noises were fucking with abby already. she wishes she was tongue deep in your cunt right now, making her girl feel good. unfortunately the snow gotten worse overnight and the roads unsafe to drive on. the weather was keeping a barrier between you two.

"what's going on in that pretty little head of yours right now?" abby whispers, unbuttoning her jeans. she began playing with the waistband of her boxers, craving a response from you. she waited, only hearing whines full of need. "c'mon baby tell me."

"t-thinking about your fingers..." you draw circles against your clit, jolting from the contact. "how thick they a-are..." you could literally hear abby grinning on the other side of the phone, enjoying every second of your phone call.

abby felt the warmth in the pit of her stomach get worse. she was so close to becoming the state you're in but it's all about you right now. she could hold off for a bit longer but her sweet thing can't. "and what else angel?" you mewl at the pet name, plus the feeling of your finger slipping inside your pussy. it was too much to handle, your teeth basically chewing off your bottom lip. you needed your girlfriend bad.

you lean the phone against your ear, your hand now groping on your tits through the fabric. "mmm... 'n h-how they reach all the right spots..." you gasp, your pointer and thumb pinching your sensitive nipple. "s'much better than mines."

"you wanna know what i'm thinking?" abby says lowly as she palms herself through her boxers. "'m s-so close baby." you borderline wail, your movements getting sloppier and sloppier. "im thinking about having that pretty pussy rocking back and forth on my tongue." abby's hand picks up the pace, her mouth holding back a whimper. "then when she's ready, when i think she's ready, i'll fuck her nice and slow on my strap. how's that sound sweet girl?"

"s-so so good- fuckfuckfuck i'm cumming." your fingers curl in your sopping cunt before pulling out. your climax washes over you violently, your moans and abby's name being suffocated by your pillow.

"there we go...good girl." abby praises, pulling her hand from her boxers and jeans. you try and catch your breath, hard breathing traveling through to the other line. "miss you so bad abby..."

abby checks the state outside, the sun slowly but surely coming out to melt the thick inches of snow. it was definitely going to take a while for all the snow to melt but for abby? at this rate?

"don't worry baby i'll be there soon."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The House Guest 6

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Summary: an old acquaintance calls in a favour, leaving you with an unexpected house guest.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You yawn as you wrap yourself in a towel. The shower was less refreshing than it was draining. The heat robbed you of the last of your energy. 

You listen through the door. It’s a small house. You can hear will beyond even those walls. 

You hug your clothes and flit across the hall, leaving a cloud of steam and scent behind you. You shut your bedroom door and sigh. You’re exhausted. It’s only in the that moment that you feel all the tension that’s been nipping away at you. 

It isn’t Bucky’s fault. You’re a loner. When someone else is around, you always feel like you have to be on. 

You grab your phone. The bars are low. Tomorrow you’ll figure out how you can bitch out Sam, or at least get an answer about how long you can expect your house guest to be around. 

You pull on a baggy sweatshirt and pair of flannel pants. You stretch out your neck and stand. You step into your slippers as you approach the door with a shadow of dread. It’s not that you feel unwelcome in your own home, just unsettled. 

You let yourself out and leave the door open. You try not to make too much noise as you come down the hall. The front room is dark. You hesitate before you enter the kitchen. 

Quietly, you take down a mug and a bag of chamomile. You put the kettle on and hover by the counter. You cross your arms and shiver.  

You give a start as you hear a click. You glance over as a shadow enters through the front door. You didn’t even hear him leave. Bucky peeks in as the kitchen lights glare over him and gives a small wave. He takes his time unlacing his boots as he leans a hand on the wall. 

“Hey,” he says. “Cold?” 

“Just a little. It’ll be winter soon enough,” you bring your hand up to the neck of your shirt and pinch the fabric. 

“I’ll be honest, can’t really feel it,” he shrugs. “I can get the fire stove going.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll have my tea and turn up the thermostat,” you assure him, rocking on your feet. 

“Right, sounds good,” he taps the door frame and retreats. 

The kettle flicks off and you pour the water. You fill the cup and lift it gingerly, careful not to touch the side. You shuffle to the door and turn off the lights. You wade through the gloom, only the glow of the lamp in the front room offering a way forward. 

As you pass the wide doorway, your eyes drift over instinctively. Keep going. You quickly hurry back to your room and hide. Again, you caught him in a moment. The muscles of his back weave into your mind and you shake way the vision. 

You set the cup down and tuck your feet under the covers. You peer over at the black window panes. Up there, the night is unmetered by civilization. Even when there’s a full moon it’s desolate. The trees rustle and the nocturnal creatures stir. 

You nurse your tea over the last chapter of a novel. Eh, not your favourite ending but it makes sense. You shut of the glass lamp and settle down to sleep. Your ears prick in the silence of the house. 

Sleep doesn’t come easy and the shell that comes over you is more a dizzy daze. Not quite awake, not quite unconscious. You can still hear the shifting of the house and the steady wailing of the wind. Your eyes ache with fatigue and your head pulses but you just can’t sink into the depth. 

Your eyes roll open but your body remains still. Locked and lifeless. Your gaze flicks back and forth. You’re self-aware of the waking coma. Your body and mind are disconnected as you’re trapped between layers of sleep. It happens time and again. 

You can see the room clearly but the darkness is rippled. You can sense something looming over you but the dark is so dense, your mind can only summon a twisted fear of the hallucinations. You focus on trying to break the sleep paralysis.

Just a finger. Move your finger. Move. Bend. Anything. 

You gasp as you finger twitches and you wake with a jarring lurch. The bed jolts beneath you and your head spin. There’s a weight on your neck. You’re still dreaming?  

As you reach to touch the warmth around your throat, it recedes, a tickle along the fabric of your sweatshirt. You whimper and sit up, scrunching yourself up against the headboard. You search the void, squinting as you try to see anything. The floor creaks and you squeak again. 

“Hello?” You gulp. 

You blink and focus on the soft outline of the door. It’s open. You think. The fuzzy rectangle tests your sanity. 

You shimmy to the edge of the bed. That childhood fear of something reaching out from underneath to grab your ankles makes you nervous. You get up and put your arms out. You cross the room a step at a time.  

You find the wall and feel along it. You flip on the light switch and back away from the open door. You shut it, didn’t you? Or maybe you got up and don’t remember. It’s all a bit foggy in the hangover of your episode. 

The bathroom door opens across from you and you cry out in surprise. Bucky emerges in the shine of light and peeks over at you. You shake your head and cough. He stares back with a confused stitch between his brows. Don’t look at his chest. Don’t think about how he’s shirtless. Again. 

“Sorry, I... I just...” you sputter and back up.  

You shut your bedroom door and cringe. You leave the light on as you retreat to the bed and bury yourself under the blankets. You know better than to sleep on your back, although you don’t think you’ll be getting much rest after that humiliating display. 

[ssahotchnerr]

i just rewatched the fisher king and all I can think about is Hotch gently rocking jack's stroller as he spoke to Hailey

And it got me thinking what if he did the same with baby Ellie but in less gruesome and stressful moments 💀 like she had been crying for her daddy all day so you decided to take her to see aaron, after making sure he wasn't too busy or anything

And he just has that big smile on his face when he sees you with little Ellie in her stroller, immediately putting his arms out so he can pick up his little girl 🥹

He keeps her up in his office, away from all the noise and whatnot and just either holds her in his arms while talking to her and doing paperwork (we love multitasking) or just rocking her stroller while talking to her 🥹🥹🥹

i am currently dying thank you

🥺🥺🥺 ellie’s the biggest daddy’s girl there ever was

like the second she left aaron's arms that morning when he had to go, instant tears - which he felt horrible to leave too :( he tried holding her for just a few minutes longer, but that did nothing because again, he inevitably had to go. at this point ellie knows how to say dada too, so that's mixed with her wailing, and it's just heartbreaking :((((( like him closing the door to the sound of her crying, calling for him, tore up every piece inside of him 🥺

when he gets to the office, aaron's not in the best mood so to speak, he's rather grumpy >:(, but he eagerly gets busy just for the day to go by quickly. back at home, there's literally no luck in calming her, so around aaron's lunch break, you call and ask if you're able to see him for a moment/drop her off for a while (you’ve been aching to go grocery shopping too, but bringing a sobbing baby would not make the trip enjoyable for anyone). it's merely a paperwork day, so aaron accepts at once and tells you to please come

ellie continues to sniffle and cry for him in the car, but the second the two of you enter the bau, it switches off - as if she knows where she is and who she's about to see. and when she does see aaron !!!!! :DDDDD it's as if her treacherous morning never existed she's ALLLL smiles <333 she's instantly making grabby hands at him, babbling, and the second she's in his arms, she's burying her little face into him ☹️🥺🥹🥹💓💞💓

in his office, (also crying at the visual of him lifting her stroller up the few short stairs to it) she's in his arms with him as he works until she falls asleep, and then she's in her stroller (which doesn't take long because poor baby girl wore herself out) he's gently pushing her back and forth, whenever someone comes into his office to give him papers/to talk, he makes sure they're on the quieter side as to not wake her too. hehe the team also keeps coming in to visit and gush over ellie 🥹<3333 especially penelope. hehe aaron repeatedly has to tell her to stay in her bat cave to get work done, but he loves it 🥰🥰🥰🥰 it pulls a smile out of him every time

[zarnzarn]

"Penelope," Odysseus whispers, heartbroken. She cannot stop crying enough to see him, and it makes her cry harder, even as the familiar scent of him moves closer and is followed by his arms around her, holding her up as she falls to pieces.

"I couldn't- I couldn't find-" She gasps for air, desperately hoping no one is around. Grief comes slamming into her like a tidal wave, laying her low with unrelenting memories of the injustice of wanting her husband home the most of anyone in the war and being the only to not get her wish and fear for how her reign would end and all the other feelings she should have gotten over already. "I couldn't find you," she sobs out finally, the words shaking out of her as her shoulders heave.

"Easy, my love, breathe," Odysseus coaxes, picking her up like it was nothing, tilting her at an angle that must be straining his shoulders to let her cling to him tighter. Cry, like it's the first time she realised how her wait had outlasted their marriage, where cannot breathe in for how hard she weeps, lungs burning. "Peace. I'm here, my darling, see, would a shade be able to do this?"

A choked, teary laugh is forced out of her as he spins on his heel suddenly, stopping her sobs with the momentum, leaving her gasping for breath and sniffing, shaking like a beaten dog, out in the rain. Alone and pawing at the memories of a warm hearth, with a pack's responsibilities on her shoulders and nowhere to set it down.

"See, now, there you go, drifting away again," Odysseus chides, twirling them both around once more, fast enough to make her half-squeal. "Am I so boring to you, compared to the mamba's nest of statespeople you have toyed with these long years? Must I put on a silly costume and dance around as entertainment, my dearest, tell you jokes and riddles to keep your attention? You wound me if you say yes, for I will lose the little respect our son still has for me."

She laughs wetly again at his chatter, the tempest in her head fading enough for the sobs to go from wailing to crying.

"Penelope," Odysseus sings her name in that strange way that sounds oddly like an owl's call, that no one can replicate. The chains around his feet jangle, a familiar sound she has trained herself into associating with her husband. She blinks the tears from her eyes, calming a little at the sound so she can see him. He clicks his tongue and wipes her tears away by rubbing their cheeks together, making her burst into choked giggles.

They don't last long, and she returns back to gasping for air as she runs out of energy, trembling.

Odysseus sighs, bittersweet, as he gives up on trying to make her laugh. Penelope sniffs, clinging on tight when she's suddenly lowered into soft sheets. "I'm here," He whispers, stroking her hair, letting her dig her nails in. "Oh, my poor beautiful wife. I'm back now. I would not leave for anything."

"I couldn't find you," Penelope whispers, small and scared. "I was calling for you from the door and there was no answer. I couldn't hear the chains. And no one knew where you were."

"All those who knew were with me, which won't happen again. I was only out at the merchants to see the new cloth with Tele," Odysseus murmurs. "Darling-"

"I cannot let go of the fear," She confesses in a rush. Closes her eyes and rocks them back and forth, trying to bury her face into Odysseus' shoulder and disappear into him. "Don't know how to convince myself that you are not an illusion. How to stop missing you, even when you are right in front of me. That I will wake up and still have to do it all alone."

Odysseus pulls back and stares at her, devastated, tears in his eyes. He opens his mouth and shuts it, helplessly. "Sweetest of my heart," he says finally, and lowers himself down on top of her so she can feel the full weight of him, smell his sweat and the ointment he applies on his scars and the juices of the fruit he fed her that morning by hand.

(Telemachus had sighed the sigh of the long-suffering when he took his seat next to them that morning for breakfast. "Must you?"

"Must we what?" Penelope had teased, and then opened her mouth for another fruit from her husband's hand, who was hiding a laugh in her hair, perched on her lap, his chair knocked to the side and lying sadly on the floor.

Telemachus shook his head, mock-disappointed and sighed louder.

"Come," Odysseus had said, patting his own lap. "Here, Tele, I will feed you too. Come."

"I'm not a dog," Telemachus had complained, over Penelope's sudden protests about not agreeing to this- and then came over and jumped up into Odysseus' grasp anyway, making Penelope yell at the sudden weight and her two rascals cackle at her.)

"Odysseus," She whispers as she exhausts of her crying and interspersing sobs an hour later, letting it curl on her tongue. She had stopped saying it, when the looks around her transformed from sympathy to concern over her sanity, and it became a political decision to not say her husband's name until he returned.

"Penelope," He returns, tightening his arms around her until her ribs creak. She sometimes wishes he were a violent man, that war had changed him enough to be rough with her, so she would have bruises to carry around to remind her he was there with her. But if he was, would she love him still?

"Give me something," She begs. She feels incredibly small and stupid, shaking like a child, and it is the only the fact that her real husband wouldn't falter or recoil in the face of her weaknesses and breakdowns that keeps her talking. "Something to prove you're here, please, please, husband-"

"Peace, Penelope," Odysseus says, in a voice sterner than he's ever used with her; the one he uses in court, making her stomach swoop. He moves back when he feels her tense under her, and studies her expression with a sharp eye. She loves him more than anything, would gladly slit open her torso to give him her innards if he so much as implied a passing fancy to having them, but even that isn't enough to fend off the slight bloom of mortification when realisation flashes across his eyes.

He kisses her, harder than usual, and she tries to focus on it rather than her still-racing thoughts.

"You are no longer Queen of Ithaka," Odysseus says, low and final, and the horrifying shock of the sentence nearly makes her moan. "Not in this room. You have held the burden of the kingdom for fifteen long years, and now you will let me make you put it down."

"No," Penelope protests, between kisses. She is still coming down from the fear planted in her by all the strong women that buoyed her these years, who grimly predicted that her husband would snatch the throne back as soon as he returned, coupled with the guilty relief that she no longer had to be in charge, no matter that it was by force. "I love her. My Ithaka. Rough and beautiful."

Odysseus huffs, smiling against her skin. "She loves you too. Which is why you must listen to her beckoning for you to rest." He punctuates his sentence by pressing down on her stomach, entire body weight on his hands as he drags his palms up her abdomen, between her breasts, up to her shoulders. "Relax, Penny. The kingdom wants for nothing, food is overabundant, no one fights, no ruler gives us trouble. You do not have to hold everything together on your own anymore."

Penelope snorts. "Ithaka says so, does she?"

"Am I not Ithaka?" Odysseus says, voice twisting and changing until it sounds like a woman speaking. Penelope is hit sideways by lust, stomach flipping at the smirk sent her way. It gets wider at her expression, as he leans down and croons, "Penelope."

"Oh, gods," Penelope says, strangled, bracing herself on his shoulders.

"Give you something," Odysseus muses, in that same voice, that lights on fire the part of her that used to be obsessed with the stable master's daughter. "How about..."

He picks up her hand and kisses her wrist gently, tenderly, like it is the most delicate of pottery, the most precious of gems. He rubs a hand over her veins once lovingly, then fits his teeth around them, eyes flashing with heat as he glances over her.

Her heart skips a beat. She nods. He bites down with canines sharper than he'd left with and she screams.

"Oh," She gasps when it's done, looking at the bleeding wound lovingly marked around her pulsepoint. Her husband tips her chin up and she smiles finally, stretching up to meet his bloody kiss. "Oh, more. More, Ody."

"As my wife desires," He murmurs, possessiveness catching fire in his eyes as he turns to set his teeth to his neck- still not violent, but perhaps the slightest bit loosened from the leash.

Penelope moans, vision hazy as her head rolls, staring up at the ceiling. She takes a deep breath, then another, letting the panic recede in the face of a daydream of wandering around with a necklace of bruises every day, until they grow old.

He always knows how to handle her so well. She had begun to think she'd imagined it, how well the man she married had met her at every turn, every trick. Yet only a few months in his return and still he guides her expertly from all the bad things in life like a sheepdog, like an overanxious newlywed; some days making her so happy that the fifteen years past had never happened.

"You will look at these and remember no one else could leave them but me," Odysseus orders, the sneer of the rabid slaughterer in his gaze. It makes all the tension seep out of her, tears escaping in relief as she nods. "And I won't go out of earshot ever again, so you always can hear how you've chained your poor husband down like a mule, forever to trip over his own feet and smash into the floor."

"Chained you like a bird," Penelope corrects, her smug, thrilled smile returning at the reminder, reaching down to shorten the chain. "No more flying for you."

"None," He agrees.

Her smile wavers as the tail end of her grief comes sliding back. "Hold me?"

"Forever and ever and ever," He promises, wrapping his hands around her. She shakes in his hold. He kisses the side of her head, holding his wrist still scarred with her own teethmarks up to her lips in offering. Her eyes roll back as the familiar blood rolls over her tongue, calming the storm in her chest at last. He pulls his hand back and cards it through her hair, pulling out all the ornaments that mark her as Queen, staining them with blood. "I promise. Calm, Penelope."

"I'm calm," She sniffs wetly. "I wouldn't do it for anyone but you."

"Neither would I," Odysseus replies. "Would you like to have sex? I can please you with my mouth if you want."

Penelope snorts ungracefully at the formal way he still says it, like it's an offer to go fetch something from the kitchens. "No. Just hold me."

Odysseus murmurs something in response and starts humming, rocking then back and forth. Blood on both their mouths still.

"Actually-" Penelope says abruptly, and Odysseus bursts into laughter like she knew he would. She smiles at the sound, and closes her eyes to bathe in it, and carefully brings herself to take the first step to trusting that he will still be there when she opens them.

[justwinginglife]

A Trial of Tears and Tails

Sorry this is so random, I came up with this idea and wrote it on my lunch break, haha. Just thought it was so cute and funny.

“Um. My love. Are you fully rested? Could you come here and tell me that it’s not just my lack of sleep making me see things?”

Rafayel poked his head into the bathroom with a towel in hand. “What’s wrong, honey? I got the towel, like you-” He dropped the towel, eyes practically bulging out of his head.

“Okay. So it’s not just me then.”

Giggles erupted from the bathtub beside you as your son busied himself poking soap bubbles, oblivious to the stares of his two parents and oblivious to the fact that where once there had been two little legs, there now emerged a tail. A mermaid tail.

Your breath hitched in your throat. “I mean, it’s cute. It’s super cute. But does he… I mean, did he do it on purpose? Does he even know he did it? Does he know how to control it? Or is he going to keep randomly transforming for the rest of his life? What if he doesn’t know how to change it back? Will he ever walk again?” You started spiraling.

Rafayel rushed to your side, kneeling down beside you at the foot of the tub and pulling you into his arms. “Hey, hey, don’t think too hard; you’ll give yourself a headache. Look at him- he’s fine. He’s happy. I say we just let it play out and see what happens, kay? It’ll be fine.” He repeated again, nuzzling his nose against your ear before leaning up to press a reassuring kiss to your temple.

But soon enough, it was very much not fine.

At first, you both just watched your son. You watched as he splashed around in pure bliss, you watched as his smile spilled across his face and tugged at his rosy cheeks, you watched as he squealed his delight. And you thought to yourself that he’d never been cuter than he was right now. You couldn’t help but pepper him with kisses and he couldn’t help but laugh. Rafayel gazed fondly at the warm sight before him and, wanting to join in on the fun, he soon began tickling your son’s sides.

That was when the trouble started.

In attempts to escape Rafayel’s tickles, your son soon began splashing and squirming, and it was then that he realized he couldn’t just up and run. It was then that he realized that he was now stranded in the tub, bound by his flopping tail. And he didn’t know why the hell he had a tail.

He started crying, screaming, wailing- all manner of devastation and despair arose within him. And it damn near broke Rafayel’s heart.

He immediately moved into a protective stance, trying to console the tearful toddler. He made silly faces, he ruffled his hair, he picked him up and cradled him, rocking him in his arms, whispering that everything would be okay. He pressed kiss upon kiss to his head, like it was a precious ritual, like all would be well once he’d bestowed enough of his love. But it was to no avail.

Rafayel turned to you in desperation; “Help me,” clear in his eyes.

“What am I supposed to do??” You mouthed back to him, taking the crying child from him.

He threw his arms up in frustration, “I dunno- sing him a song, do something, do anything!”

You cleared your throat awkwardly, rocking him back and forth, as you began to sing the first song that came to your mind. “Um… I wanna be… where the people are. I wanna see… wanna see them dancing.”

Rafayel raised a brow at you. “Part of your world? Really? That was the best you could come up with?”

“You said to sing him a song! I thought it kinda… fit the situation?”

Rafayel snorted. “I see it’s going to be up to me to fix this. Alright, give him here; lemme try again.”

After taking him back from you, Rafayel marched his way into the kitchen. You followed behind, curious as to what his next plan of action was.

“Maybe the little guy is just hangry. Some food will cheer him up.” Rafayel started to warm up his steak dinner from last night.

“Raf! He barely has teeth, how is he gonna chew the steak?” You exclaimed.

“Well… maybe I’m hangry too! Maybe the food was for me.” Rafayel grumbled, anxiously chomping on his steak before spoonfeeding some of his mashed potatoes to the kid. Fortunately, it seemed to soothe him for the time being, but the issue of his tail was still to be addressed. How were you going to get him to turn back? You were sure once he finished munching on mashed potatoes that he would remember the tail and then be back to bawling and blubbering in no time at all. And if he cried, Rafayel might just cry. And you couldn’t have that.

So you disappeared into the nursery and came back with his favorite toys, his favorite books, his favorite movies. You spent the next two hours entertaining him, reenacting epic fight scenes between his toy robot and his toy dinosaur, reading to him all manner of fantasy and fiction, and snuggling up beside him as the TV played his favorite movies. He was more doted on than he’d ever been in his single year of living. And he loved it. But he still had the damn tail.

Rafayel suggested yoga and that was when he learned that children were not very flexible. Then he suggested meditation and that was when he learned that children do not sit still long enough for it. He finally settled on teaching the kid to use the tail, and that was when he learned that the age of one was far too young for someone to learn how to swim. The kid retained absolutely none of the information Rafayel so enthusiastically provided.

You knew this was a very serious moment, but it was hard not to laugh when you heard Rafayel’s voice echoing in the bathroom, emphatically declaring, “Now, kick! That’s not a kick, kick! Like this! No, like this! That’s a… that’s something. That’s… getting closer. Nope, never mind, it’s not. Yeah, okay, this is not working.”

Eventually, Rafayel passed out on the couch with the child dozing off in his arms. Your poor husband had exhausted nearly every brain cell in existence trying to solve this issue (so his nap was much deserved), but now, as you watched the two of them fondly, you noticed that peeking out from beneath the blanket, two tiny feet had finally appeared.

You laughed so hard that you almost woke them up when you realized what had happened; he had exhausted the kid back into being a human.

Taglist: @pixelcafe-network @tbaluver @minasfwoopyponytail @ouiouimochi @inkytypewriter

[lvnleah]

Month eight

word count: 2.5k

find the masterlist here!

Early December 2024 | 8 months old.

“Shhh, it’s okay Bubba,” you whispered as you cradled Finley in your arms, gently bouncing him in hopes he’d calmed down. “Mummy’s here, it’s okay.”

The clock showed 4:34 AM, and once again, Finley had woken up, crying inconsolably. His sleep had become more broken over the last few weeks, his tiny body waking every forty-five minutes or so, his cries a constant reminder of how exhausted he must be.

You were stuck in a cycle of feeding, crying, and trying to soothe him back to sleep all for it to happen again forty-five minutes later. It had been over a week since you had last slept properly, you hadn’t hit the stage where Finley was sleeping through yet but he was sleeping for a couple of hours at a time before waking up again.

You sighed softly, exhaustion washing over you as Finley let out another wail. You gently rocked him, pacing back and forth in the dim light of the nursery. His little face was scrunched up, and you could feel the tension in his tiny body. You were running on nothing at this point. His soft whimpers tugged at your heart, and as much as you needed rest, he needed comfort more.

Just then, the door creaked open, and you looked up to see Leah standing there, a look of concern on her face.

“Hey, pretty girl,” she whispered, walking over to you and Finley. “You look exhausted. Why didn’t you wake me?”

You gave her a tired smile, shaking your head slightly. “You’ve got camp tomorrow, Leah. You need your rest.”

Leah gently placed a hand on your back, her thumb rubbing small circles into your skin. “And you need rest too. We’re a team, remember?” She reached out to take Finley from your arms. “Come on, let me take over for a bit. You get some sleep.”

You hesitated before you carefully handed Finley over to her, watching as she cradled him close, her movements slow and soothing. She was always the better one out of the both of you that could settle Finley, it wasn’t hard to see that he was a Mumma’s boy.

“Go on,” she urged, her voice soft. “I’ll get him settled. I promise.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of exhaustion pulling you down. “I love you, Le,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Thank you.”

Leah smiled at you, “You’re the amazing one, doing this night after night. Now go, sleep.”

As you trudged back to the bedroom, you could hear Leah humming to Finley, the sound gradually fading as you slipped under the covers. Your body sank into the mattress, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to fully relax, knowing that Leah had everything under control.

In the nursery, Leah continued to rock Finley, her voice low and soothing as she sang to him. Finley’s cries slowly subsided, his tiny body finally relaxing against hers.

Leah smiled softly, looking down at his peaceful face. “That’s it, little man. Mummy’s got you.”

As Finley’s breathing evened out, Leah gently lowered him back into his crib, brushing a tender kiss across his forehead. She lingered for a moment, watching him sleep before quietly slipping out of the room.

Returning to the bedroom, Leah found you already asleep, your breathing deep and steady. Slipping into bed beside you, she wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

“Love you,” she whispered, knowing you were too deep in sleep to hear. But it didn’t matter. She meant it with all her heart.

A few hours later, you woke up to the sound of Finley’s cries once again instead of Leah’s alarm like you expected. You rolled onto your stomach with a groan as you looked at the alarm that read 8:34 am.

As you stirred awake, the realisation that it was already past 8:30 hit you like a jolt. Leah’s alarm should have gone off an hour ago, especially with her travelling to camp today. But instead, it was Finley’s cries that pulled you from sleep.

You groggily pushed yourself up, your body aching from the rare few hours of uninterrupted rest. You noticed Leah wasn’t beside you as you rolled over. She must have gotten up with Finley again.

Throwing on one of Leah’s hoodies, you shuffled down the hallway towards the nursery. The door was slightly open, and as you approached, you could hear Leah’s voice, calm and steady, speaking softly to Finley.

When you peeked inside, your heart melted at the sight before you. Leah was sitting in the rocking chair, holding Finley close to her chest as he lay in her arms. His cries had subsided into whimpers, his tiny fingers clutching onto her shirt. Leah was swaying gently back and forth, a look of deep concentration on her face as she hummed the tune of North London Forever.

“Morning,” she whispered, careful not to disturb Finley, who was on the verge of falling back asleep. “I figured I’d let you get a bit more rest.”

You smiled back as you entered the nursery. “You should’ve woken me. You need to be getting ready for camp.”

Leah shook her head gently. “I’ve already called Sarina. She’s agreed for you and Finley to come with me for the camp, I’m not letting you go through this sleep regression alone.”

You sighed as you walked over to her side. “You really didn’t have to do that. It’s important you focus with no distractions, Le. I could’ve done it alone.”

She shook her head as she looked down at Finley, who was now peacefully asleep in her arms. “You and Finley are my priority. Sarina understands. I’m his mother too, we do things as a team.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, stepping closer to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Why don’t you get some breakfast and then get ready and pack a bag, and I’ll finish up with him?” Leah suggested.

By the time you had eaten, Finley was settled back in his crib, and Leah was waiting for you in the bedroom, her bag already packed for camp. You walked over to her as she set her phone down on the bed. She pulled you down to lay on top of her by your hips.

“Right, let’s pack some things yeah?” She said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Yeah, let’s get started,” you replied, though the idea of moving from this spot was far less appealing than staying wrapped up in her arms.

Leah’s hand rubbed soothing circles on your back as if sensing your reluctance. “We’ll take it one step at a time, pretty girl. Besides, I’m really looking forward to having you and Finley with me. It’ll be nice to come back to the two of you after training.”

You smiled at her words. The idea of being together, even amongst the chaos of sleep regression, was a comfort. You gently pushed yourself up, giving Leah the space to get off the bed.

Leah opened up the wardrobe and started pulling out some of Finley’s essentials that were still in your wardrobe. She picked out some onesies, sleep suits and a few outfits that would do him for the week as well as some spare clothes. You busied yourself with your own things, packing clothes that were comfortable but presentable enough for camp.

As you packed, you caught sight of Leah occasionally glancing over at you with a smile. You caught Leah’s gaze and couldn’t help but smile back.

“Caught you staring,” you teased, folding a jumper into your bag.

Leah walked over to you and wrapped her arms around your waist from behind. “Can’t help it with a pretty wife like you.”

You laughed softly, leaning back into her embrace. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Williamson.”

She chuckled, pressing a kiss to your neck. “Just stating the truth.”

With your bags packed and Finley’s essentials gathered, you both finished getting ready for the day. Leah insisted on carrying the heavier bags to the car, leaving you to focus on Finley, who had woken up once more, but this time with a bright smile on his face, as if the rough night was forgotten.

“Look who’s finally in a good mood,” Leah said as she placed the last bag into the boot. She walked over to where you were holding Finley and ran a gentle hand over his blonde hair. “You gonna be a good boy today, little man?”

Finley cooed, his tiny hands reaching out to Leah. She took him from you with ease, lifting him in the air and blowing a raspberry on his tummy, which made him giggle. The sound of his laughter was infectious, and you found yourself grinning despite the weariness that still clung to you.

“He’s definitely a Mumma’s boy,” you said, watching them as Finley giggled although you weren’t sure how long it’d last for.

“Nah! You love us both the same don’t you Bubba?” Leah replied, tickling Finley’s stomach.

After securing Finley in his car seat and double-checking that everything was packed, the three of you set off for the training camp. The drive was long, Finley kept dozing off in the backseat just to wake up thirty minutes later.

You had to stop a few times during the three-hour drive which made it into almost five hours. When you arrived, the team greeted you warmly. Finley was the star, as perusal, and was passed around from person to person for a quick cuddle.

“Hi little man,” Keira cooed as Leah held him, “You look grumpy! Look at that frown, just like your Mumma’s!”

“Oi!” Leah smiled, playfully hitting Keira’s shoulder, “He’s going through a sleep regression so he’s tired.”

Keira tickled his stomach quickly, “Oh so you’re grumpy without sleep then like your Mumma?”

As the day went on, Leah headed to training and you headed up to your hotel room so you could get unpacked and settled with Finley.

A few days later, you found yourself pacing the hotel room trying to soothe a fussy Finley who refused to settle down for his nap. His little face was scrunched up in discomfort, you had tried everything. It had been four days since you and Leah had slept properly, and the exhaustion was beginning to take its toll.

Just as you were about to try rocking Finley in the chair again, your phone rang. Balancing Finley in one arm, you fished it out of your pocket, seeing Keira's name on the screen.

“Hey, Kei,” you answered, your voice strained with fatigue.

“Hey,” Keira’s voice was gentle but she sounded worried at the same time. “Listen, Leah’s having an endo flare-up. She didn’t get to her medication in time, and it hit her pretty hard. We’re bringing her back up to the room now.”

Your heart sank, she always took her medication on time. “What, is she alright?”

“She will be, but she’s in a lot of pain. Beth and I are with her, and we’ll help her get settled. Just wanted to give you a heads-up because we’re just leaving training and we’ll be upstairs in a few minutes.”

“Thanks, Kei,” you said, glancing at Finley who was still squirming in your arms. “I’m trying to settle Finley, but he’s really fussy today. I’ll be here when you arrive.”

You hung up, worry gnawing at you. Leah had always been good at taking her meds, but when her endometriosis flared up and she didn’t have any medication, it was debilitating. You knew how much she hated being in pain, and the thought of her suffering made your heartache.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and Keira and Beth entered, supporting Leah between them. She was doubled over, her face pale and twisted in pain. The sight of her like this made your chest tighten.

“Le,” you breathed, your voice filled with concern.

Keira and Beth gently guided her to the bed, helping her lie down. Leah winced, clutching her abdomen as she tried to find a comfortable position. You wanted to rush to her side, but Finley’s cries kept you rooted where you were.

“Let’s get you settled, yeah?” Beth said softly, pulling the covers up around Leah.

“I’m sorry,” Leah whispered, her voice hoarse from the pain. “I need to help you settle, Finn.”

“It’s okay, I’m trying,” you replied, wishing you could do more. “The team doctors are coming, right?”

Keira nodded. “They’re on their way with some pain relief.”

Beth looked at you, “Why don’t I take Finley out for a walk? I can have him for a bit so you can focus on Leah.”

You hesitated, feeling torn. Finley was fussy, and you didn’t want to burden Beth with it, but at the same time, you knew Leah needed you. Finally, you nodded, reluctantly handing Finley over to Beth.

“Thank you,” you said, your voice thick with gratitude.

Beth smiled warmly. “It’s no problem. We’ll be fine, won’t we little man? You just take care of Leah.”

Beth grabbed Finley’s nappy bag which had everything she would need in it as well as some formula and bottles in case he needed a feed. Keira slid the nappy bag under his pram and pushed it out of the room as Beth carried Finley.

As Beth left the room with Finley, the team doctors arrived. They administered pain relief to Leah, and after what felt like an eternity, you could see the tension slowly start to ease from her body. The lines of pain on her face softened, and she let out a shaky breath.

Once the doctors had gone and the room had quieted, you sat down on the bed, gently brushing a strand of hair from Leah’s forehead.

“Why didn’t you take your meds, Le?” you asked softly, your voice tinged with worry. “You know how important it is.”

Leah looked at you, guilt flashing in her eyes. “I just… I forgot. We’ve been so busy with Finley, and I didn’t even realise until it was too late. I completely forgot about my period being due.”

You felt guilty, knowing that she’d been putting Finley’s needs above her own, just as you had. “I’m so sorry, Leah. I should’ve reminded you.”

“Don’t,” Leah whispered, reaching out to take your hand. “This isn’t your fault. We’re both exhausted, trying to do our best. It just slipped my mind.”

You leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “We’ll get through this, together. I’ll help you remember next time.”

Leah smiled weakly, her hand squeezing yours. “I know. Thank you.”

With the pain relief finally working, Leah’s breathing began to even out, and her eyes grew heavy with sleep. You climbed into bed beside her, wrapping your arms around her waist, needing to feel her close.

“I love you,” you whispered, resting your head on her shoulder.

“I love you too,” Leah murmured, her voice drowsy. “We’ll figure it out… just need some rest.”

The two of you lay there, holding each other, the exhaustion finally catching up with you both. The room was quiet, slowly, the tension in your body melted away, and for the first time in days, you felt yourself drifting into a peaceful sleep.

[moonselune]

Hihi! First, thank you for feeding lovers of the bg3 ladies I feel like we're starving sometimes fanfic wise. Second, could I request Tav x Karlach where they just had a newborn and what that life might look like? Drabble or headcanons or anything! Thank you :D

omfg this is so so cute, i love this request I am such a sucker for anything bg3 related and babies

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach x f!reader: Your turn, babe

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The middle of the night was heavy with silence, broken only by the sound of your newborn’s cries piercing through the air. You groaned softly, turning over in bed to see Karlach stirring beside you. Her fiery hair was a mess, her eyes barely open as she blinked sleepily into the dark.

“It’s your turn,” you muttered, your voice thick with exhaustion. Karlach grunted, pulling the blanket over her head.

“Nuh-uh, babe, I got up last time. It’s your turn,” she protested, her voice muffled from beneath the covers.

You squinted at her through the darkness, trying to remember the last time either of you had gotten a full night’s sleep. “No way. I swear I was up with them just an hour ago.”

Karlach groaned again, her arm flopping out from under the blanket as the baby’s wails grew louder. “I’m running on fumes here. My body’s literally powered by fire, and I’m still burning out.”

You chuckled, though it was half-hearted. The tiredness was bone-deep, but the baby needed you. With a heavy sigh, you started to swing your legs out of bed.

“Alright, alright,” you relented, the floor cold beneath your feet. “I’m going.”

“Such a good mama,” Karlach murmured, barely awake, her voice full of affection as she burrowed deeper into the sheets.

You gave her a playful glare, though she couldn’t see it. The baby’s cries tugged at your heart as you padded over to the small crib in the corner. Your little one was red-faced and wriggling, their tiny fists clenched in frustration.

“Shh, shh,” you whispered softly, lifting them into your arms, cradling their warm, squirming body against your chest. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

The cries began to quiet just a little as you gently rocked back and forth, humming a soft lullaby, though your body felt like it was made of lead. You leaned against the wall for support, exhaustion threatening to pull you under.

But before you could fully settle into the rhythm of soothing your newborn, you felt the familiar warmth of Karlach behind you. Her strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close, and her body pressed against yours as she rested her chin on your shoulder. Her touch was grounding, and even though you were tired, you couldn’t help but smile.

“What are you doing up?” you whispered, glancing at her with a teasing smile. “Thought it was my turn.”

Karlach let out a low, lazy chuckle, the sound rumbling from deep in her chest.

“I couldn’t resist,” she murmured, nuzzling the side of your neck. “You and the little one, all wrapped up together… how could I stay in bed?”

You laughed softly, the sound mingling with the quiet coos of your baby. “So, what was the point of all that bickering if you were just going to get up anyway?”

Karlach grinned, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “Gotta keep you on your toes, babe.”

You shook your head, though there was no real irritation behind it. “We’re both too tired for games.”

“I know,” Karlach said, her voice softer now, full of warmth. “But I just love this. Having you and the baby in my arms… it’s perfect. Even if I’m dead on my feet, I don’t care.”

Her arms tightened around you just a little, and together, the two of you rocked gently, swaying back and forth. Your baby was quieting now, lulled by the comfort of both their parents close by, their tiny hand gripping one of Karlach’s fingers.

For a moment, the exhaustion melted away, replaced by a feeling of absolute contentment. You leaned back into Karlach, your head resting against hers, the weight of the world feeling a little lighter with her by your side.

“I love you,” you whispered.

Karlach smiled, the fire in her eyes burning a little brighter in the dim light. “I love you too, babe. Both of you.”

And as the baby finally drifted off to sleep, you stood there together in the quiet of the night, wrapped up in each other’s arms, the soft, steady rhythm of your newborn’s breathing reminding you that even in the hardest moments, you had everything you needed right here.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

This is so cute I love it and I hope you guys enjoyed it! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

[idkfitememate]

I am CRYING. FURINA MY BABY YOUR TEAPOT LINES MAKE ME CRY. SHES SO INNOCENT BUT SHES BEEN SO TRAUMATIZED IT HURTS ME. WHY FOCALORS WHY.

😭😭 Furina asks us to dress up as a duo with her. And she said she’d even do our makeup. She’s trying to take back her stolen childhood. MY EYES ARE PUFFY FROM TEARS.

DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ‘the more you let someone in the easier it is for them to hurt you’ LINE. SHES SCARED TO LET PPL IN AND IM WAILING.

I wanna give her all my love and affection!!! 😭

-🦌 anon, who is curled up on the floor crying

The Curtains Close

૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა Pairings : GN! Otter Reader x Furina & Neuvillette

૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა W.K. : 1.1k

໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི�� Tags/CW&TW : Angst to fluff, Furina is going through a breakdown, Neuvillette realizes he’s been distant

Forcing Furina on a bed wasn’t easy. The entire day was spent with and you having a “bonding day” and spend the day inside.

Makeup and clothes whirled past in a blur of blues and makeup was pressed into your fur. The entire day was fun, eating snacks and overall just having fun.

At least, it would be if you didn’t notice the sadness behind Furina’s eyes.

Every time she looked at you in your frilly little dress with a big blue bow around your waist and a smaller blue and gold bow around your head.

Now, you’d be a little ticked at being forced into an outfit, but seeing her on the verge of tears when you began to shake your head no - no matter how much she would deny it - you forced your pride down your throat and and put it on.

Her smile was worth it.

The entire day you could just feel her off-ness, and you’re pretty sure you know why. The events pertaining her curse and the death of that bi- I mean Foçalors had just passed and Furina was finally free.

Free to be human once more.

You, knowing the lore, knew that she had suffered with being alive - unchanging and never aging - for five-hundred-years. You knew that both Foçalors and Neuvillette understood that that would have and has had lasting effects on the poor girl.

But you knew they’d never understand. How could they? They were immortal. They had to get used to the passing of the ones they knew if they were mortal because they were literally built for it. Furina wasn’t. She never was.

And now that she was free, she was coming. Crashing down.

The curtain had fallen and the star of the show has fallen to her knees. Her tears stain the floor as the crowd leaves and her wails echo through the empty halls.

To be honest you haven’t seen much of Neuvillette around. You understood that he had new issues to attend to as the new overseer of the nation of Fontaine. But you barely see him in the halal’s anymore.

Your thoughts were immediately halted when you heard small sniffles coming from your friend.

Your head whipped in her direction only to see tears pouring down her face. You rushed over as fast as you could, wiping those tears away as you gently chittered at her, pulling her crumpled form up so she could face you. At your concerned expression, she only cried more.

“I-It’s just,” she started, “… Did she ever love me? Was I ever even worth anything to her? I played my part and danced till collapse and I didn’t even get a thank you! I don’t understand… I watched my friends die… I watched my f-family die… I outlived all of them! And I didn’t… even… get a thank you…” She broke down back into sobs, holding onto herself as she rocked back and forth.

You could only watch as she shattered in front of you. Pain and guilt rose in your stomachs as you stared. Huffing, you jumped off the bed, and grabbed your stuffed jellyfish, dragging it over and throwing it up before climbing up after her.

You gently nudged it towards her and made sure she grabbed on before jumping back down and racing through the halls.

You ran out the building as fast as your little legs could carry you, the winds of Teyvat boosting your form farther. You continued on until to made it to the Opera Eclipse and ran through there until you made it to Neuvillette’s office.

You didn’t even bother to knock before shoving to door open and rushing up to him. He stopped his writing and looked down, his eyes softening at you. He opened his mouth to speak before you grabbed his sleeve. You yanked and pulled and he finally stood up, allowing you to lead him.

Making it back home, you all but forced the man into Furina’s room, and forced him on the bed. She had stopped sobbing by this point, but silent tears still ran down her face.

She looked shocked at Neuvillette’s appearance and he looked shocked at her dishevelment. You shuffled up to her in the ridiculous dress you had on - you would later find out it perfectly match the dress Furina had on when she came into being, after being separated from Foçalors - and part her lips.

“Do you… wish for me to repeat myself?” She whispered, looking at the slightly panting Neuvillette with worry. But at your nod she sighed, realizing why you did this.

And if her Otter wanted something, who was she to deny them that.

When she parted her lips you leapt from the bed, and walked out of the room to give them privacy. You could tell she hesitated at your lack of presence, but hearing her start to speak after you closed the door, you wagged your little tail in relief.

Staring towards the kitchen, you planned on getting them both nice tall glasses of water.

And by the time you got back and managed to open the door, you were met with Neuvillette holding the girl close and shushing her, a light patter of rain outside.

“Of course we’re grateful. I’m grateful. I am so sorry my Lady that I had neglected you. I will say it until the stars and the moon itself command me to stop that you are appreciated. That I care. And though I cannot speak for her fully I can say that my Ar- … Foçalors did care for you. And she loved you. I love you. I care for you. I will never understand the trials of being human and I know that what she did is irreversible, but I do want to be there.” He continued to speak to the crying child in his arms, neither noticing you walking in while dragging the glasses of water in.

Making a small noise, the Sovereign looked down and smiled at you, though you could see the tears in his eyes. He picked you up then the glasses, handing one to Furina who was still clutching your plushy.

“And I can also say that our darling here loves you and cares.” Neuvillette mused, running a hand quickly through your fur.

You chuffed in response and licked the girls face causing a giggle to escape her throat.

Here she was wanted. Here she was needed. Here she was loved.

And you were going to do your damndest to make sure it stays that way.

໒꒰ྀི˶˙Ⱉ˙˶꒱ྀིა Author’s note : Wanna hug her and hold her and give her kisses on the cheek and UGH- My baby໒꒰ྀི ╥﹏╥ ꒱ྀིა

I personally think she’s like… a teen. She looks like a teen. So imagine being in a mental state of an adult with the emotional state of a child and being forced to watch everyone you know and love die. I couldn’t do it she is so strong but I STILL WANNA HOLD HER MY BABY!!! ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა

[itsphoenix0724]

I don’t know if your still doing the bouquet event. But an orchid with Rhysand sounds wonderful!

Orchid (Rhysand x Reader)

Warnings: angst (don't hate me)

Word Count: 970

❀° Event Masterlist ❀°

A/N: Thank you for visiting my page, I'm so sorry this took me so long to write. Reader takes the place of Feyre in this fic so Nesta and Elain are her sisters. I have a very complicated relationship with Rhys idk why he's just super hard to write for me. Please don't kill me but this is angsty I'm so sorry. But I hope that you enjoy it <3

You haven’t been able to leave the nursery since you brought your baby home. He was perfect, the crown of inky black hair matching his father, with your eyes staring back up at you. You’re humming softly rocking the cradle back and forth as he sleeps, the knitted bat stuffed animal curled under his small arm. Your body tenses as your husband slips through the doorway, he utters your name and you glare at him without stopping your lullaby. 

“I will not discuss this in front of our son.” Your tone betrays nothing of your feelings, refusing to let anything show in his presence. Rhys’s face pales a shade but he nods and gestures with his head to the door. After giving a subtle nod you leave the sleeping prince in his cradle, safely guarded by moonlit dreams, and follow Rhys out of the room. You want for nothing more than a glass of liquor, preferably the strongest Velaris has to offer, as you stand across the study from your husband.  Alas, you are nursing so your desire remains a boiling headache sprouting in your temples. 

“Darling-” Rhysand starts, but you raise one hand and he stops speaking, snapping his jaw shut. You take a moment to look at Rhysand fully. His raven hair, so normally well-kempt, is run through and the purple half-moons under his eyes cast grotesque shadows on unnaturally pale skin. You’ve barely spoken to him in days since Nyx was born. 

In fact, you’ve refused to see any of the inner circle at all seldom your sisters.

“I am going to talk now. You are going to do nothing but listen.” You will steel into your spine, wishing your power to grant you the strength for this. Rhys nods once sitting in his chair and wringing his hands together in his lap. “You made me your equal, and yet you betray me. You force the hands of our truest friends to betray me.” You have felt a tidal wave of emotions since you found out what your mate kept from you. 

Anger, betrayal, disgust, but all you feel now is sadness. 

Sadness at the reaper that seems to have been following you through your first week as a mother, angry at your sister for snatching your family back from the cold iron of his grip. 

“You have proven that the members of this court will obey your wishes without any regard for me as your equal. Not only that, the worst thing about this is you were going to let us die in ignorance, after promising that I would always have a choice with you. That is what truly breaks me, Mate.” You watch your husband fall apart before you. The High Lord of Night crumbling and dissolving like salt in water. You want to go to him, you want to ease his sobs and tell him that everything is alright. 

But everything is very much not all right. 

“Why?” is the only thing you can manage to croak out, your tears finally cracking the damn that you’ve built to keep them at bay. Rhys stands, crossing the room and three wide steps, and wraps you in his arms. You try to fight it but you let yourself collapse into the warm embrace he offers. You wail, cursing the world and your mate, beating your hands against his chest half-heartedly. He cups your cheek a thumb running to wipe the silver from your eyes, but your hands remain limp at your sides.

“I have no excuse,” he swears sinking to his knees you follow him melting without the force of his weight to keep you upright. “I tried to do my best by Madja’s instructions. I did not want to rip the joy from you, but I had no right. I’m so sorry my love, so so sorry. I wanted to bring you the news with a solution.”  You still choke around your sobs, the solid iron you’ve built around the bond cracking just a fraction, letting some of its golden light shine back through. 

“You also had no right to send Nesta on that hike. Her intentions may have been egregious, but she is the only one who was honest with me.” Rhys’s lips press into a thin line, the topic of your sister always a touchy one, but he nods. 

“I’ll do my best to be better for you.” Rhys gulps around the tightening in his throat. You don’t know how long you spend crying on the floor of his study, Rhys soothing your hair before something finally lightens in your heart and you let go. 

Forgiveness. 

You realize after one heartbeat, then two, that this feeling is forgiveness. You almost collapse under the weight of it. You meet Rhysand’s eyes and let the walls of the bond fall and you feel the palpable relief, see it in his eyes. 

“You have to be better.” You mutter, and Rhys nods resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll do better for you. For Nyx. For our family.” He swears and you feel the burn of another promise singeing into your skin, the stretching wings of a dove appearing on your sternum, you can see the twin appearing on Rhys’s own skin. Finally, you press your lips to his and he melts hauling you onto his lap. His kiss is bruising, the bond between you both singing happily in your chests. This healing road will be long, and the trust you’ve built with your family now broken and fragile. But the road is visible, the fog of pain gone from the path you must take. You will forgive, no matter how hard it will be. Rhys’s hands are shaking as he presses a kiss to your forehead. After all of the pain.

Forgiveness is a welcome feeling.

[sillyblues]

the ocean and the wind. (5)

ੈ✩‧₊˚ synopsis: tonowari is the ocean and ronal is the wind. where does it leave you?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ notes: reader is so lucky you have a support group but it's a good thing you are not that blind right?? anyways lmk your thoughts and which parts were your favorite i make sure to read all of your comments and rbs btw sometimes i just don't reply smts bc i got busy but yeah i appreciate every notes you leave!!

part 1 ✩ part 2 ✩ part 3 ✩ part 4 ✩ part 5 (here!) ✩ part 6 ✩ part 7 (final part)

The wind guides the ocean and wherever the ocean goes, the wind is there. The two cannot exist without the other for only together, they create the most beautiful peaceful calmness or the strongest violent storm.

Between the two, where does it leave you?

None. Of course, there is no place for you. You are nothing to them. You are not even a speck of particle that the air carries or the smallest piece of sand that the sea touches.

They were the source of your greed, your guilt and shame, but you were wrong. You are the shameful and disgraceful one. You who dared to overstep your boundaries. You who dared to desire them.

Humiliation burns your skin and chars your heart and remorse fills your lungs with smoke and suffocates you. You let it ablaze and reduce your heart to a pile of ashes and glowing embers that burn you inside out.

Your ache stings and brings forth droplets of salty tears that do nothing to extinguish your pyre.

"Ma’evi, what pains you so?" Your Sa'nok cradles you to her chest and sways you gently. Tears sprung out of her eyes as she puts your head on the crook of her neck. Like a furious river, you tremble and no rocks could stop your overflow as you sob.

Your muffled wails fill your home. You cry and cry undeserving tears you didn't notice when your father had come inside, only the warmth of another embrace and soft pats on your back.

“Cry it all out to us, my dear, and we will cry with you.” Do you dare to tell them? Do you dare to tell them of a horrible daughter you are? Do you dare to tell them of the sins you have committed?

“Let us see you, my child,” your mother tucks the strands of your hair that stick to your face into your ear. “Let us bear your pain instead,”

You don’t dare say anything and let their touch lull you to your sleep.

.

.

.

“The Olo’eyktan have announced that the Iknimiya will be held in a few days because of the auspicious sign of the return of our brothers and sisters,” your mother gently says as she cuts some food. You all sit on the floor as you eat. You didn’t want to eat with them at first, preferring to sleep the rest of the day away, but your parents have been concerned since your walls shattered in front of them. “Truth be told, your Sempul and I think you are ready.”

Your father hums as he offers you a bite from his hand and you eat it.

“Yes, we can see how independent you are already. You are even a greater hunter than I am now,” he jokes and your eyes waver at the effort he puts into making you feel better each day ever since your walls broke down in front of them. You smile and joke weakly in return.

“Am I now?”

“Mhm, an even better healer than me as well. I think you would make a great Tsahik,” you freeze at that. Memories of Ronal and Tonowari rush through your head and your hand trembles in place when you reached your hand for food. You quickly pulled back and lightly clasped your hands together, hiding your palms away from them.

Tsahik. Ronal is much suited for the position. She is more suited as Tonowari’s mate and Tonowari is more suited for her. Their bond is like no other after all. You would not be surprised should they choose each other when they complete their Iknimiya, Letsakx made a good job of waking you up from the blindness of their attraction for each other, which will happen soon. Very soon. And soon, you will have to live with your closest friends’ love that does not include you.

You hum, not daring to speak for fear you might stutter and they will hear the shakiness of your voice. They are very keen and observant. Perhaps they already have an inkling of what you feel. Of what you have thought. And what you have done.

“But Ma’evi, we are not saying this because we want you to complete your Iknimaya now,” your mother says as she takes the knife and plate away and gets closer to all of you three. She holds your hand in hers and looks at you with so much softness and your father squeezes your other hand with such gentleness that you feel yourself tearing up but you hold it down. “We do not want you to do it if you yourself do not feel ready.”

“Take your time, my dear, we will be always waiting here for you.” Really, you don’t deserve your parents. They don’t deserve a child like you. But the love they have for you is great and you find yourself squeezing their hands.

You find yourself letting them see you.

.

.

.

The day of Iknimaya has come and all of the men, women, and children had gathered on the central island. Many young hunters participated in this coming-of-age ritual. You are among them, along with your other friends and some you knew from one of your classes back then and of course, Tonowari and Ronal. They had been trying to get close to you, but you only smile painfully so.

“Are you alright now, [Name]? I haven’t seen you in so long!” Tonowari says to you with concern swimming in his bright blue eyes and your heart flutters at the thought that you were his subject of worry, but you are quickly reminded that you are not his. Ronal touches you and inspects you carefully as she circles around you for wounds that you might have. Your battered heart trembles under her keen gaze that looks only at you for the moment but you are quickly reminded that you are not hers.

“Your mother told us that you had gotten ill, are you sure you can join this Iknimaya?” your mother told everyone who asked about you an excuse for your absence. You realize that with you, they touch a lot and the ache grows for they caress you not because they want you as you want them. You smile bitterly.

“Yes, I want to do this,” you gently take their hands off of you, “Let’s talk again later, hm? My friends have been calling me.”

You send them a smile and return to your group of friends. You did not look back as you promised, despite the greed that claws you inside out. Your friends exclaim in surprise and joy at your presence. Some hug and some send a smile towards you.

But it’s okay, you think as you converse with them, this is a lesson you must learn and you would never dare to disappoint Eywa or everyone else again.

It wasn’t long until the ritual formally started and you find yourselves in the sea with water halfway up to your legs. The Olo’eyktan started his speech moments ago about the history and importance of your coming-of-age ritual, his gaze heavy with pride for all of you.

“Young hunters, it is time,” the Olo’eyktan says as he looks at each one of you, “It is time for you to become a true Na’vi. A true Metkayina.”

“Show us that you can handle the mighty and strong roars of the ocean by taming a Skimwing. Show us your worthiness by bonding with your spiritual brothers and sisters. Show us that you deserve the symbols inked into your skin.” He stomps and you all stomp. You all let out sounds of gruff and puffs with the tongues of the men out and the lips of the women pursed down.

Now, you watch as one by one, the names of the others are called out and they tame the Skimwing. You stare as Tonowari chooses the biggest one with the brightest orange spots that decorated its wings. You stare as he takes a quick glance at you and blinks while he turns away to look at Ronal. He sends her a reassuring smile and none for you. Your heart is silent as you watch him successfully tame his Skimwing and swim through the fast currents and return so proud and so imposing.

You stare as Ronal chooses the calmest one with calming green spots that adorn its wings. You stare as she looks at you with firm eyes that you could not read. She turns to Tonowari and nods at him. A part of you is scared that you do not know her well anymore and a part of you bleeds out at the confirmation that only Tonowari can truly see and understand her. Your heart fades away as you watch her gracefully soar and dance with the wind and return smoothly with such elegance.

Your turn has come and you look at the Skimwings that paid no mind to you. But there was one that looked back at you and swims slowly toward you. You let out a silent giggle to yourself. Would you let me see you? You hummed as you questioningly looked at it. It touches your hand with its head and makes you pat it as if saying, If you would let me.

You swing your leg over its body and sat on its back. You take your queue from behind and formed Tsaheylu with your Skimwing. The feeling momentarily blinds you before you become hyper-aware of the water that surrounds both of you, your weight on its back, and its feelings.

You both swim gently until the pace becomes faster. You both dive deep into the ocean and see the shoals of fish that swim past you, the sways of the underwater forests that glow so brightly, and the calmness of the water that leaves you breathless of its beauty.

You swim back to the surface and put your feet on its behind and crouch down, your grip hard on its tie. Your Skimwing jumps and unfolds its wings and you laugh breathlessly as you let the wind kiss your skin, its rustle cheering you on as you soar through the sky.

But it is time for you to return. As you come back, you immediately miss the ocean and the wind. After this, no more, you promised yourself, No more.

The bonding with the Tulkun soon followed after. Everyone went to the sides of their respective spiritual brother and sister and they all look so excited. Everyone was filled to the brim with joy but you, your nerves leave you trembling slightly.

Greetings, sister, you signed with a small smile hoping she would forgive you for only coming to see her today and not as soon as they arrived.

How dare you come at me only now? Is this what you see of me, just a way for you to complete your Iknimaya? Well, you are wrong! I will not bend over to your wishes so easily! she moaned in annoyance at you and sways you off gently.

You don’t think she could even bend but you just hugged her and buried your face against her beautiful skin that you would fawn at each time but you wouldn’t bring yourself to now. I’m sorry, sister. You don’t have to make Tsaheylu for me, I understand.

She pauses and was silent for a while.

…What pains you so, sister? Who dares to give you such pain? she hums at you, covering you with one of her fins and lets you hide. Tears escape your eyes and you sob silently underwater. Fear comes back and it overflows your lungs and shame burns your body hot despite the coolness of the water. 

Lend me your suffering and let me suffer with you. Let me see you, sister. You look at her in shock and disbelief. Despite that you have wronged her, she still wants to see you. 

She wants to see you. She wants to see your pain. She wants to see your fear. She wants to see your shame. Do you dare to let someone know of your sins? Your immoral thoughts and greed?

You look at your sister with only you in her eyes and she blinks softly at you.

You find yourself letting her see you.

She opens her mouth and you enter inside. Her queue comes down almost immediately and you almost laugh at how she truly wants to bond with you, even if it happened in an unfortunate circumstance you caused. You take your own and hold the end part of it, letting its tendrils connect to her glowing golden queue.

You close your eyes and your sisters’ memories rush through you. Her birth, her parents, her family, you see it. The joyous moments that contain you beside her, you see it. One particular moment was when you swam through the deep ocean and talked about the most mundane thing with her, lasting for even hours until you two have to breathe the surface’s air again. Her huntings as they travel outside your clan, you see it. Her first hunt without you and how she felt lonely without you by her side to congratulate you.

Now, you see her current emotions as she sees you. She’s distraught. Sad. In pain. But she is with you and your heart (or whatever is left of it) warms.

Oh, my sister, she whines and sobs. Her body vibrates and you feel yourself crying with you as well. My poor sister. You don’t deserve any of this. You don’t deserve this.

You think of the ocean and the wind once more, breaking your promise to yourself for the millionth time. The wind guides the ocean and wherever the ocean goes, the wind is there. The two cannot exist without the other for only together, they create the most beautiful peaceful calmness or the strongest violent storm.

Today, you have seen how great they are. And how well they suit each other. How Ronal’s grace matches Tonowari’s pride. How Tonowari’s imposing presence matches Ronal’s elegant strides. 

Today, you have seen what great Olo’eyktan and Tsahik will become. You have seen how far they are out of your reach and what your place will be for the years that will come by.

For between the two, there leaves none for you.

series-taglist: (tags in blue means tumblr won't let me mention you, please let me know if you changed usernames!) @totesnothere04 @ducks118 @narutoboi @yeosxxx @fanboyluvr @ladylovegood-69 @northsoulss @thatfictionalwh0re @ghostlyworld @toodaloo432 @lovefromjazzy @greendino7 @neteyamforlife @vermilionzombie @vxncxntt @adaiasafira @tsuteysyawntu @mooniequeen @eywas-heir

[sequinsmile-x]

Weary

Guilt rolls in his gut when he gets the door open and he is met with the sight of his frazzled wife, her hair in a haphazard bun on top of her head, dressed in the clothes he’s fairly sure she was wearing three days ago with milk stains on the shoulder of a shirt that used to be his.

AKA - the one where Aaron comes home from a case to find his wife and their newborn baby girl worn out from a lack of sleep.

-x-

Hi besties,

I am exhausted after being back at work for the first time since my surgery. I've only been working in the mornings but I am worn out...I'm not entirely sure my brain was even switched on when I wrote this. I just opened my laptop, opened a Google Doc and started to type.

I really hope you enjoy this. It's just some soft hotchniss (softniss hehe) that I think we all deserve <3

As always, let me know what you think!

-x-

Warnings: None

Words: 2.2k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Aaron hears Alice crying through the front door, the baby’s wails piercing through the thick solid wood as if it were made of nothing more than plasterboard. The guilt he’d been battling the last few days, which had simmered low in his gut whenever he thought about his wife at home alone with their newborn and Jack, comes back with a vengeance. A spark of it catching fire in his veins as he digs through his pockets to find his keys, desperate to get into the house and help in a way he hadn’t been able to do from two states away. 

He’d hesitated in the first place, not sure he wanted to leave Emily and the kids at home only a month after Alice had been born, but Strauss had given him no choice. He had taken the first two weeks of his daughter’s life off of work, and had allowed himself to sink into the happy, exhausting, bubble he and Emily’s home had turned into. Going back to work at all had been hard, his heart in a vice as he walked out of the house for the first time for longer than simply going to the store to get milk or bread, but going away on his first case three days ago had been harder. He’d called every night, smiled at every picture Emily sent him of the kids together, and missed them all more than he could put into words. 

The guilt rolls in his gut when he gets the door open and he is met with the sight of his frazzled wife, her hair in a haphazard bun on top of her head, dressed in the clothes he’s fairly sure she was wearing three days ago with milk stains on the shoulder of a shirt that used to be his. She has Alice in her arms, her body tense as she tries to soothe the newborn, her posture getting visibly tighter with their daughter’s continued cries. Emily had sounded tired whenever they spoke. A croak to her voice that had once meant hangovers and late nights with the girls, her head in his lap as she lamented that last shot of tequila as he offered to go buy fast food for her, or the end of a long case when they’d slink into bed together, her face pressed against his neck, already half asleep before he tugged the covers over them. 

He wonders if she’s slept at all whilst he’s been gone, if he should have pushed more whenever she insisted she was fine, but he couldn’t change that now. All he could do was help her, to look after both of his girls in whatever way they needed him. 

“Hi sweetheart,” he says, smiling as he steps towards her, his heart aching when she looks at him with tired eyes, never stopping the way she’s rocking side to side in an attempt to soothe Alice. One hand on the tiny baby’s back and the other cupping her head, her thumb tracing back and forth over her temple in a way they’d learnt calmed her down when she was just hours old. 

“Hi,” she chokes out, her eyes shining as her voice cracks. She’s as on edge as he’s ever known her to be, barely holding herself together, and he drops his go-bag to the floor, all of his focus on her, “You’re home.” 

She sounds so relieved it breaks his heart, makes the pieces she’d put back together herself facture, guilt and regret slipping into the gaps as he wonders why he didn’t just tell Strauss no when she told him he needed to return to full duties. 

He shakes it off, pushes away however he’s feeling right now because whatever she’s feeling is infinitely more important. Her usual emotional control was long gone, left somewhere in her first trimester when she started to cry at anything. It frustrated her to no end, made her angry at herself whenever she’d get emotional over something she deemed ridiculous, and he knew he had to tread carefully. 

He didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was. 

“Yeah,” he says, stepping towards them, “I’m home,” he leans in and kisses her forehead and then kisses the top of Alice’s head, catching Emily’s thumb at the same time. He places his hand on Emily’s back and rubs a circle on it. He feels more than hears her sharp intake of breath and he knows he’s only seconds away from both of them being in tears, “Do you want me to take her, sweetheart?” 

She sucks in a breath and then blows it out, her cheeks puffing with it as she looks up at the ceiling, a failed attempt to stop tears pushing past her lashline, “I’ve been trying to get her down for hours,” she says, her lips pressed together as her chin trembles, “It’s been like this since you left. She won’t sleep. Jess came to get Jack a few hours ago, he’s sleeping over at hers tonight so at least he can get some sleep,” she sucks in a breath again and it catches on her ribs, the ache of it something that rattles in her chest, “I’m so tired, Aaron.” 

He kisses her forehead again, “Let me take her, okay?” He says gently, still rubbing circles on Emily’s back as she finally stops swaying side to side. She nods, too tired to fight him on the request, to insist that she could do it because she wasn’t sure she could. She kisses Alice’s head, whispering an apology against her dark hair before she hands her over, “She’ll be due a feed soon, right?” 

She nods, her arms tight across her chest, her arms aching both from now being empty and from what felt like holding Alice nonstop for days, “Yeah. I kept trying to nurse her to see if that was why she wouldn’t settle but she just wouldn’t latch.” 

“Is there milk in the fridge?” He asks, shifting from side to side like she had been, and Emily wraps her arms around herself even tighter when it works almost immediately, Alice’s cries quietening down to a whimper as if all she’d wanted all along was her father. 

“Some. I pumped this morning,” she answers and he looks up at her, his smile so kind and soft she almost bursts into tears. She struggles to suck in a breath, her lungs stuffed full of sadness and every bad thing she’d been thinking about herself the last few days, “Haven’t really had a chance since.” 

“Why don’t you go and have some time to yourself?” He suggests, “I’ll try and settle Little Miss Hotchner.” 

She wants to argue again but can’t, all of her energy focused on holding herself together, on the way Alice was practically silent now, her fist in her mouth as she self soothes for the first time in hours. 

“I…I might go shower,” she says, pointing over her shoulder to the stairs, “I don’t remember the last time I did.” 

Aaron nods, “I’ll meet you up there, okay?”

“Okay,” she replies, looking at them once more, her gaze lingering before she turns around and disappears up the stairs, the drag of her tired feet against the floor echoing throughout the hallway. 

He sighs when he can no longer see her, and he looks down at Alice, her dark wide eyes meeting his, “You really put Mommy through it the last few days, huh?” He says, kissing the top of her head as he heads to the kitchen, “We’re going to make sure you have something to eat and then get some sleep,” he kisses her again, “And then I’ll make sure Mommy does the same.” 

___

He settles Alice into her bassinet with the same level of care and anxiety he’d have if moving an active bomb. He holds his breath as he lays her down, sighing happily when she stays asleep. He steps away, making sure he grabs the baby monitor as he goes even though he knows he won’t be far enough away to truly need it. He pauses when he makes it to the door of the ensuite and knocks before he walks in. 

He hadn’t heard running water at any point even though he knew Emily was in there, so he half expects to find her sat on the floor, asleep and propped up against the wall. Instead, he finds her sitting on the closed toilet seat, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, her sigh audible as he gently closes the door behind him. 

“Is she asleep?” 

He nods, even though she doesn’t look up, and then kneels in front of her, ignoring the crack in his knees as they hit the tiled floor, “She’s asleep,” he says, reaching for her hand and linking their fingers together, running his finger back and forth over the pulse point on her wrist, “I thought you were going to shower.” 

She laughs humourlessly, “I was going to but…I don’t have the energy. The thought of washing my hair made me cry…” She shakes her head at herself, wiping a stray tear from her cheek, “So I sat down for a minute and lost track of time I guess.” She sniffs and shakes her head, her lips pressed together as she tries and fails to hold back a sob, “I don’t think I’m any good at this.” 

He squeezes her hand, “You don’t think you’re any good at what, sweetheart?” 

“Being her mom.”

He barely has time to register what she’s said, the insecurity he’d seen thrumming beneath her skin since he’d got home lingering in the air between them, because she bursts into tears. A sob catching in her throat as she leans forward into the embrace she knows he’ll have waiting. He wraps his arms around her, holding her close as he rubs his hand up and down her arm. 

“You’re an amazing mom,” he says, kissing her temple, “Alice and Jack are both so lucky to have you.” 

She scoffs and shakes her head as she pulls back to look at him, “I can’t even get my baby to sleep,” she furiously wipes tears from her cheeks, “I tried for hours and she just settled immediately for you.” 

“Sweetheart,” he says, cupping her cheek to encourage her to look at him, “You’re exhausted. She was too. And you were both overwhelmed and making each other more unsettled. It happens and it doesn’t make you anything less than an incredible mom,” he rests his forehead against hers, “Alice loves you. So much,” he smiles as he squeezes her hand, “We all do.” 

She blows out a stuttering breath, not entirely sure if she believes him, and she shakes her head, “I’m just…I’m so tired Aaron.” 

“I know you are,” he says, kissing her before he stands up, “Which is why I’m going to help you shower, hair washing entirely optional,” he smiles when she does, her lips pressed together as she tries to capture it, “Then whilst you get ready for bed, I’ll go downstairs and get you something to eat,” he wipes a stray tear from her cheek, “And then after you’ve eaten you can sleep. I’ll keep an eye on Alice until she next needs to be fed,” he tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, “That’s when you’ll have to step in I’m afraid. I used the last of the milk in the fridge earlier, and I lack the equipment to feed her myself.” 

Emily chuckles dryly and reaches out for him, stroking her thumb over his jawline as she cups his face, “What did I do to deserve you?” She says, her lips shaking as she desperately tries to stop crying, “I didn’t even ask how you are, or how the case was. You just walked straight into chaos.” 

He smiles and kisses her forehead before he stands, “The most beautiful kind of chaos,” he says, offering her his hand to help her up, “The real question is, what did I do to deserve you?” 

She rolls her eyes at him, the tightness in her chest easing for the first time in days, “Why don’t we just agree that we’re both lucky to have each other?”  

He stamps his lips against hers, “I can agree to that,” he says, “Now,” he says, “Hair wash, or no hair wash?” 

She scrunches her nose up, “No hair wash tonight,” she yawns, too tired to even try to hide it as she nods towards the shower, “I’m worried I’ll fall asleep in there even with your help,” she smiles at him, “So, just a shower tonight. Maybe you could help me wash my hair tomorrow though?” 

He kisses her, his smile pressed against hers, and then he pulls back, taking a moment to revel in her beauty. Stained t-shirt and tired eyes and all. “Tomorrow it is.”

[tightjeansjavi]

Sing me a Lullaby Darlin’

Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I have no words for what I have created. I am a monster and I blame The Civil Wars for this one. It’s all their fault.

Summary: You soothe Joel’s constant nightmares of his daughter dying, and his fears of losing his younger brother Tommy, by singing him a lullaby.

~word count : 1.5k~

Warnings: so much fucking angst. Literally I have tears streaming down my face from how much angst is in this. Triggering themes of child loss, trauma, depictions of graphic violence taking place in the mind. Dark thoughts, depression, mentions of using alcohol, drugs, sex to cope. Nightmares, emotions, comforting themes, some fluff at the end. (+18) minors dni !!

Song used:

“You Are My Sunshine” cover by The Civil Wars

Joel Miller never knew how to evade his endless nightmares till he met you, his sunshine. For the years after Sarah’s death, Joel suffered day in and day out. He found himself lying awake at night, imagining himself crafting a sledge hammer with his worn, damaged hands. He pictured himself cutting his chest open, right down the middle, and wrenching his broken, bleeding heart from his chest. He would smash his heart over, and over again. Broken sobs eliciting past his lips as he would beg a higher power to make the pain stop. Make his daughters gasps, and screams of anguish cease from his mind. He begged that for every time he would close his eyes, he would no longer see her body tumbling in the dry grass. He would no longer see the blood pooling through her shirt, or her lifeless, cold eyes staring up at him.

He begged, and begged, and begged. No one would listen. There was no higher power to hear his cries, his pleas to make his suffering end. The grief, aguish, and turmoil would continuously crash into him, like waves on a rocky shoreline. He often found himself struggling to breathe, clutching at his chest as tears blurred his vision. He’d let out a wail, punching his fist into the wall, feeling his knuckles split, the skin raw, and bleeding. He’d punch the wall over, and over again. Sometimes, on the worst nights, he’d bite down on his fist to block out his heart wrenching sobs. When his tears were spent, and his voice raw, and broken, He’d wrap his arms around his chest, hugging himself tightly as he would rock back and forth, his mouth open, with no sound coming out, just a wheeze of a struggled breath.

He’d find himself turning to copious amounts of drugs, and alcohol. Whatever he could fucking get his hands on. He’d risk his life smuggling this shit into the QZ because it was the only temporary solution to numb his heart, and his mind. When the drugs and alcohol would wear out, he’d turn to sex. Burying himself into a body felt good in the moment. That high would soon pass and leave him in his filth. Joel Miller believed that there was nothing in this fucking god forsaken, shit-hole world that could ever keep his nightmares at bay. Then he met you, and everything changed.

Now, when he closed his eyes at night, he was met with peace. There were no screams, no bullets, no images of his daughter’s tumbling body. There was no blood, no lifeless cold eyes looking up at him. Now all he could see was you. You’d hold each other every night, legs and hearts entwined. Breaths in sync and heart beats slow, steady, calm. You had pacified his nightmares, drove them deep down into the cold dark earth. You soothed this broken man with soft touches and words of love.

Joel nearly lost you one Spring. You nearly bled out in his arms but he would be damned if he’d lose you too. He couldn’t possibly fathom it. He had the chance to save you and he fucking took that opportunity swiftly. He vowed to never leave your side, and you kept his words like an oath. Deep in the caverns of your chest, where your heart laid, beating for him.

Joel’s younger brother Tommy not responding to his radio calls is what finally broke him. The nightmares had clawed their way out from the depths that you had sent them. They tore up the dirt, the flowers that you had implanted into his soul were shredded to nothing. They turned to fucking dust as the darkness encased around his heart once more. You spent years sewing your man back together. Since that day, the moment you met him, you were subconsciously healing him. Needle and thread in hand, you had taken the bits and pieces of his heart that were left and sewed them back together. The pieces, and fragments that were missing, were regrown. Stems sprouting and flowers blossoming. You had turned this man’s soul into a garden where he was safe to flourish. All your effort, all your hard work was turning to dust before your very eyes.

You refused to give up on him when he needed you most. Yes, he had grown cruel. Yes, he had fallen back into his old patterns, his old ways. Yes, he didn’t hold you on most nights, but you knew that your Joel was still there, hidden behind a vast expanse of thick, putrid thorns.

You’d poison yourself over and over if it meant that you’d get him back. Joel was too deeply entwined into your soul for you to not care. When he was suffering, you suffered with him.

So when your sunshine awoke one night in a cold sweat, calling for his daughter, as he looked around in a frantic state. His eyes were wide, his body trembling, hands shaking.

He kept sobbing Sarah’s name as you were knocked out of your dreamless state. You heard his sobs as you sat up, slowly bringing your arms around his shaking form, your touch was gentle, tender.

“Joel. Hey, Joel. Baby, you’re okay. You’re safe, I'm right here. I have you.” You spoke softly, your tone soothing and low, afraid to startle him anymore than he already was.

He was clawing for you immediately, his hands grasping your arms tightly as you held him. His sobs continued to rake over his body, leaving him a blubbering mess.

“Darlin,’ she–she—Sarah–my baby girl!” He gasped, struggling to breathe as you slowly slid your hands under his shirt, rubbing soothing circles into his sweat soaked skin.

“You’re safe Joel. You’re safe. I’ve got you baby and I'm not letting go.”

“They took her from me–they fuckin’ ripped her from my fuckin’ arms!” He wailed.

“Joel, shhh. Baby, I know. I’m so sorry.” You had gently grabbed his face in your hands. He had tears streaming down his face. They were hot and heavy tears, flowing like a river. His vision was blurred as he looked at you.

“Why’d they fuckin’ take her from me. Why? My baby girl..and Tommy. Where’s Tommy?”

You had kissed away his free falling tears. Your lips were soft on his skin as his eyelashes fluttered shut, his grip on your arms loosened as you soothed him.

You couldn’t stomach giving him the answer as to why the government shot his baby girl. You couldn’t give him the answer because he already knew why; you both did.

“Joel, what can I do to help you? Please, tell me. I’ll do anything for you baby. I can’t stand to see you suffer like this every night. It fucking tears me up inside. What can I do to make it go away? There must be something–”

He let out a broken chuckle because you, his sweet girl shouldn’t have to deal with him. Not when he was a shell of the man you once knew.

“Sing me a lullaby, darlin. Sing to me, sweet girl please.” He rasped while you gently cradled him against your chest.

He was clutching your shirt between his fists, his breathing jagged as his tears continued to flow.

It was a simple request for you to sing to him. You’d do anything for this man that you had learned to love so deeply, so unselfishly, so openly.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” You began to softly sing to him, your own tears beginning to stream down your cheeks, while you threaded your fingers through his sweaty hair, gently scratching his scalp.

Joel’s eyes slowly fluttered shut as he listened to your soothing voice. He could hear your heartbeat against his ear, where his tear stained cheek rested against your chest.

“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping. I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken so I hung my head and cried.”

You could feel his breathing grow steady, his body went slack in your arms as you continued to cradle him.

“You have such a pretty voice, darlin’” You heard him whisper. “So pretty, so sweet.”

You glanced down at his face, casted by the soft moonlight. For a brief moment, you saw his features soften. The permanent furrow between his brows ceased to exist. You couldn’t help but admire him in these tender moments. Seeing him in a peaceful state for once. The thorns that were wrapped tightly around his heart, building a thick poisonous wall, were rotting away and being replaced with new green stems that would soon bloom again. The thorns would be replaced with flowers, beautiful, pure, flowers.

You brushed your fingers against his forehead, sweeping away a stray, sweaty curl as you leaned down and whispered, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. I won’t let them take my sunshine away..”

“I promise.” You whispered.

You held Joel in your warm embrace for the rest of the night. He did not have another nightmare, with you by his side. You protected him from the darkness that once consumed him entirely. You were his sunshine, and he was yours.