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traumascumathena · 2 years ago

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it is very hard for me to be nice about this. it really is. I have extensive trauma with Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists, to the point where I have lost almost all pride in my identity as a transfem and to the point where I had to choose between my physical safety and the well-being of my family over my identity. my ma is a trans woman that does advocacy for inmates, particularly lgbt inmates, and shes received death theats from TERF groups on the basis of her being a trans woman. Ive gone back in the closet and pretend to be a genderconforming cis man just to keep selling my art without getting threats from TERFS. they’re very present in our lives. Ive changed the entire way I live in order to survive their presence.

And when I see posts like this. I know they dont come from a place of understanding this present trauma. These people dont know what its like to have their name and face dragged through the mud on pamphlets and fliers and “feminist” gatherings. they see TERFs as an abstract enemy and not a real one. they see TERFs as a general bad guy to be applied everywhere. and not a specific type of transphobia applied by a specific type of person. they see TERFs as traumatic but they dont see who is traumatized by them.

a TERF is a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist. nothing more and nothing less. Trans Exclusionary: they want to exclude trans people, predominantly trans women, from society. they want trans people to cease existing, or if they should insist to exist, that they be content with the bottom of a social ladder. Radical Feminism: liberation of women from the patriarchy in a method that focuses solely on sexism, without regard to other forms of discrimination, creating a new social ladder with cishet white women on top.

so tell me, where does being against endogenic systems fit into this? what is trans exclusionary about being anti-endo? what is radically feminist about being anti-endo?

and dont fucking tell me its “rhetoric.” everyone fucking says the rhetoric is the same, but no one explains in a way that matters. “just change trans with endo!” except, when you change the words in an argument, its meaning changes. is it TERF rhetoric for me to say watermelon is the worst fruit, because if we replace watermelon with trans women and fruit with type of human being, it is exactly what a TERF would say?

honestly. you people only say ideologies you dont agree with are TERF rhetoric because its an emotional appeal, because youre out of strong arguments. everyone agrees TERFs are bad, and so if you can paint the person youre arguing with as a TERF, then you automatically win to people who dont take more than two seconds to think about things. and in this age of low attention spans, thats everyone that fucking sees this!

listen. I do believe in endogenic systems. despite the url, despite other mods opinions, I believe endogenic systems exist. Ive seen arguments for their existence that make sense. Ive seen arguments against anti-endos that make sense. saying anti-endos are using TERF rhetoric actively degrades those arguments, because flawed logic in one aspect makes the collection of arguments as a whole look flawed. how can I argue for the existence of endogenic systems when the common defense of them is “anti-endos use TERF rhetoric!” my side looks a fool!

this is why transfems leave system spaces en masse as well. its all “TERFs are bad! TERF rhetoric is everywhere!” but never “how can we help transfems? How can we make transfems feel safe?”

For YEARS I spoke about being unsafe physically due to TERFs, and I received no help. my family received no help. I have given up being out and proud because of TERFs, and in this depressing fact, instead of getting help from the LGBT community, I am isolated! we are isolated! and yet, and yet, you all simply cry out hatred for TERFs and never love for transfems!

what good is hating TERFs if you leave transfems for dead? what good is calling out TERF rhetoric if countless transfems have to be closeted to survive? what good it to paint the enemy as TERFs, if you cant even support your own transfems?

#fey posts #syscourse #long post #transmisogyny

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indian-kahani · 1 year ago

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Day 28: Walk of Pride

sorry for not posting in ages guys i was struggling through my writer's block -_- anyway here you go! hope you like it <3 i struggled to write it ngl, idk if I really like it but ah well.

tags: @desi-lgbt-fest, @manujanolavu @morally-gayy @desi-yearning (let me know if you want to be added/removed)

Rati had always been scared to attend a Pride festival.

It felt like admission: yes, I am gay. Yes, I am proud.

Proud of what? What did she have that made her special? She had always been a blank puzzle, with missing pieces that could be scattered anywhere across the globe. How was she supposed to colour herself in rainbow and call it Pride?

Rainbows had always seemed like sad, fickle things to her. Small chinks of happiness that were erased by the sun. That were only possible with the most specific combination of events. Rain, and sunlight slanting exactly the right way.

Then what did that say about herself?

What did that make her?

Delicate? Impossible?

She had always been such a good girl: she sat in the front row. She played two instruments. She handed her work in on time. She didn’t doodle, didn’t gossip, didn’t daydream. Didn’t, didn’t, didn’t. Her entire life had hinged on couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t.

What could she do?

She was named for the Goddess of Love, after all. Then why wasn’t she confident in her own? Did that kind of confidence only come with straight love? Was she really as broken as her mother implied when she talked about lesbians? Every time she felt butterflies in her stomach, she locked them away. The day she called herself gay, she felt something inside her that she hadn’t felt before.

A sense of belonging.

That was the only reason she persevered, if she was being honest. That feeling had lit a flame inside her, a tiny sun of her own.

God knew there was enough rain in her heart. Maybe this little sun would make her own rainbow.

So when she went to college, she kept her head up and a smile on her face. She knocked at the door of the college Pride Club, and when the leader, (‘Padma’, her name tag read) opened it, she plucked up all her courage and asked:

“Excuse me, does this college have a pride event?”

She was half expecting Padma to laugh at her. For her to shoo her away and say that young girls, in their first year at college, didn’t belong at Pride.

Except – that wasn’t what happened at all.

Padma held the door open with a gentle smile and beckoned her in. “Of course! In fact, we have a pride event tomorrow, to mark the end of Pride Month. Do you want to meet the rest of the team?”

Rati hesitated. If she stepped over that line that marked the boundary between corridor and classroom, she would be safe. She could go back to reading in the library and not stirring up a fuss and presenting as ordinary. She could be good little Rati that never stepped out of line, just like she had been for the last seventeen years.

But something inside her was tired of being good. A little voice (her namesake, perhaps?) whispered to her that perhaps it was time to try being bad for a change.

And so, she offered a radiant smile for what she hoped to find in that room.

“I would love to.”

Pride Club was not like what she had expected at all. In fairness, though, she didn’t know what she’d expected. Whatever it was, it wasn’t this.

Ten to fifteen students lounged around the classroom, eating their lunch and chattering playfully with each other. Padma, perhaps sensing that she was getting a little shyer, put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Guys!” she called to make herself heard over the chatter. “Oi! Guys!”

Everyone turned to look at her, and Rati dropped her gaze to the ground at their subtle scrutiny. “This is our new member, Rati,” Padma gestured to her. “Be nice, all right?”

“Hi, Rati!” A short girl with choppy bangs grinned at her. “I’m Anshika, Padma’s favourite-” she lowered her voice, winking as if divulging a secret, “-and only – girlfriend!”

Padma blushed. “Shut up.”

“H-Hi, Anshika-ji.” Rati managed to smile shyly at her.

“I’m Khushi!”

“Anshuman.”

“Hey! Ravi here.”

As they made their introductions, something settled in Rati’s heart that had been fluttering around inside of her. She allowed the smile on her face to settle. This… this felt nice.

The next day, it took far less courage to show up to the Pride event.

This is it. She thought. I’m finally admitting it.

She held her flag tightly, and when the moment came, waved it high in the air. For once, the rainbow seemed strong, invincible. More than a trick of the light.

This felt like belonging.

This was her family.

This was her place.

And this was her pride.

hope you guys like it! feel free to tell me what you think in reblogs/comments etc :]

@desi-lgbt-fest

#avani writes #after ages #desi lgbt fest 2023 #desi writing #desi #desi teen #desiblr #desi lgbt fest #lesbian #gay #bisexual #lgbt+#lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbtqia+#lgbtqia #indian-kahani #indian kahani #desi writers

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doveriathegoddess · 2 years ago

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I want to hear YOUR ideas of Tatiana and Kliff >:)

OH SHIT-

Ok Eri since you asked very nicely I will go ahead and let you hear on my ramblings on both Tatiana and Kliff :3

We'll start off with Tatiana first

First Impression: I knew she was the final boss of the game but I had no idea that I would come to enjoy her as a character and eventually simp for her like the bisexual I am. Tatiana is indeed a queen <3

Impression Now: She's one of my favorite characters and I absolutely adore her character. She's the icon, she's the legend, and she's the moment

Favorite Moment: After her boss fight when she goes off on Mayday, I could feel how much truth her words were, especially when she said "Never have heroes honey, believe me you'll have fewer disappointments." I honestly related to that sentence so hard due to past experiences-

Idea for a Story: This mainly involves my OFA AU but Tatiana and her oldest daughter Titanium having a heart to heart when Tatiana finds out her daughter is literally overworking herself being the current CEO of NSR so she has to tell her it's ok to ask for help and to take a break. Just thinking about this idea makes my mind go brrr-

Unpopular Opinon: I'm not sure if this counts as unpopular but I really wish we could've had more lore about the Goolings and Tatiana's past, it would've been so much more intriguing-

Favorite Relationship: Tatiana being like a mentor to Mayday is something that always makes my heart flutter. Mayday showing how much she can play on Tatiana's old guitar that she gave her while Tatiana just smiles like a proud parent. Of course I also love shipping Tatiana with my NSR sona Olive it's a match literally made in heaven like yivdugdefuyvcbdfuyfva- the first time they meet is after the Music Revolution and the Garden of Thorns comes to town and right away gets a lot of attention that NSR also gets wind of them. They get invited to the NSR Tower to discuss collaborations but when Tatiana arrives at her office to meet them she's quick to notice that one of the band members is missing. Percy (lead singer) tells Tatiana that the drummer went to go grab some coffees and right when Tatiana says they can start without her, Olive comes in through the door with said coffees, not giving any mind that she's late and Tatiana notices just how tall Olive is-

Favorite Headcanon: Trans and Lesbian Tatiana. Being Kul Fyra also inspired a lot of LGBT+ people to be themselves, especially the fans.

And now it's time for Kliff and his moment to shine >:)

First Impression: When I saw him for the first time my heart skipped a bit, Kliff was the most cutest ginger I ever saw in my lifetime and I wanted to hold hands with him. I was a bit disappointed that he was a twist villain at first but then I realized he could still be redeemed if I put my mind to it via fan fiction lol

Impression Now: He could've taken a different approach in an attempt to get closure instead of trying to use a falling satellite, but at the end of the day Kliff is a stinky man and I love him.

Favorite Moment: When he first shows up in the game, Kliff is not only a cute ginger but he's also very helpful. His Kliffnotes on the NSR Artists are also very interesting and if you look closely there could be lore.

Idea for a Story: I need to update it but I'm working on a fanfic where Kliff does apologize to everyone for his actions and the Queen herself aka my oc Artemis helps him out, and while they're doing that they're also falling in love with each other because yes. Another idea which involves my OFA AU again is after the stunt Orion pulls with hacking into a satellite and blasting Burning Constellation's music on all technical platforms, Kliff is very proud of his daughter in a sense like "THAT'S MY GIRL :D " before his wife/Artemis gives him a look and Kliff goes "I mean Orion you can't be doing that- (I'm still proud of you though hack those satellites like I taught you >:D)"

Unpopular Opinon: I feel that there are some people that kind of go a bit too far with hating Kliff and I've come across fanfics where people write Kliff as an irredeemable character/a literal psychopath and I'm like ??? Can y'all chill??? I get that he's a bad person but he's not that evil-

Favorite Relationship: I would very interested to explore the concept of Kliff in his younger days and his relationship with Kul Fyra. Of course there's also me shipping Kliff with Artemis which is also a match made in heaven they're like so adorable Imma cry-

Favorite Headcanon: Kliff figuring out he's bisexual since back in the day he would flirt with other Goolings fans which were both men and women. Also DILF Kliff and him and Artemis going to every concert that their kids perform (Orion and her band Burning Constellation and Prince Astral's concerts with Linus because violin and piano duets are my favorite things in the world-)

#doveria speaks #no straight roads #nsr #nsr kliff #artemis #nsr oc #nsr tatiana #olive #erigold

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dear--charlie · 1 year ago

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Dear Charlie,

hi it's me, again. It's been a while, I know. I'm done with my masters and I work as a teacher now. I teach 1/2 grade and 5/6 grade in mixed age classes. It's so much work that that's all I do, but since all my friends live away, I'm pretty much alone all the time. It's not as if I had anything better to do, but I'm slipping down again. I guess I'll pick myself back up again when I got the time. Anyway, that's not why I am writing.

My 6th grades were supposed to do a chore. Instead, they used the comment section of the word document and insulted each other. And I mean, they're teenagers. I could deal with them calling each other jerks, but that's not what they did. They called each other gay. "gay" as in "that's so gay" as in "that's so fucked up". And well, I couldn't let that sit on me. I went home and did a worksheet. Screenshots of their conversation on the cover. On the next 4 pages an instagram post Hoshi shared, where she received insults and death threats for being a lesbian, as well as her statement about it. Then I made them watch videos: what is LGBT, why is there so much suicide in queer youth, why are gay footballers scared of coming out, what do kids mean when they "gay" and what's the real possible consequence. They were shocked. 2 boys cried. I brought my point across but there is so much more talking to do. They know nothing about the matter and I dived in head first. Now we will decompose, and I will make sure that they do not use gay as a slur even in their dreams.

Anyway. I shared this with J., the woman I work with in 2nd grade. She is really nice and knows the kids and the school and I just needed to share what had just happened because I was really emotional. And well, we talked and talked and it was nice and she made me feel safe but I didn't manage to come out to her because something in me was still scared. But then I was home and felt like shit. Not only had I not told her the truth but I had gotten back in the closet when for the past 2 years I had been out and proud abroad. Well now back at home I'm a little closeted bat. And I hate it. I feel like I am betraying myself and my values and losing part of myself because I am hiding it away again.

So, I texted J. And I told her that I didn't really know how to tackle this but that there was something I wanted to tell her and I was scared to do so because I was scared out work relationship would change and I really appreciate that relationship. But then I told her about A. And she didn't answer for hours. Then this morning, I receive this text: Hi Lena, thank you for your message, I could see that this topic is really important to you and that you are passionate about it. I can imagine that it was not always easy and I am terribly sorry for that. Unfortunately, our society is still quite primitive and conservative in this sense. I wish you and your girlfriend only the best. I am very open-minded and think that everyone should go their own way without having obstacles put in it. And besides, there is no such thing as THE right way. You are authentic and have dared to come out. Many people do not have this courage because a large part of our society does not tolerate it. This changes absolutely nothing in our teamwork - on the contrary! As I said before, I think it's good that you wrote this to me. It was very emotionally touching. You're a really kind, sympathetic and emotional person/ teacher. Stay true to yourself because you'll see it's worth it in the end. Feel hugged.

And well, I cried my eyes out and then I just thanked her. Now I'm better but I still think about it a lot and well Idk, I don't like that wherever I go there has to be a coming out again. It's annoying.

Plus, a kid asked me why gay people decide to be gay if it means they are threatened. And well... that's a whole other story.

Anyway.

Love always,

Lena.

30.09.23

Post

#dear charlie #Lena.

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alatismeni-theitsa · 1 year ago

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Coming out story time, Γρεεκ edition. With a plot twist. Sorry for the long ass rant I just didn't know who else to tell my story who would get both the Greek Thinking TM and also be accepting of queer ppl.

Apologies for crude language (i think)?? I cannot describe it in a way that's as eloquent and beautiful as I want.

A. Μαμά.

I came out to my mother descriptively, because I knew if I said a Big Gay Word she'd instantly connect it to what she associates with Gay stuff, and I wanted to get her honest reaction, not what she thinks her reaction should be. And also because I Do Not Know what exactly I am (out of the whole LGBT alphabet, I could be Gay/Les, I could be Bi, I could maybe sort of kinda be trans but I do identify with womanhood in the Greek TM way so I don't think I can call myself NB? Anyway whatever, labels don't matter to me and only make me feel weird when applied to me), so there's that.

Specifically I said "Ma, I'm not only attracted to boys." Because that's the best I can describe my hauntingly persistent bisexuality as haha.

After the initial confusion, the first question she asked was "so you'd want to have sex with a woman?" A question I chose not to answer, one because Μαμά τι στο καλό θες να σου πω τώρα :/ and also because the answer is neither no or yes. It goes beyond just Mm Yes Pussy Nice for me. Reducing it to just that is making my skin crawl just as much as Mm Yes Dick Nice. That's dehumanising for me, I'm sorry. :/ My answer was literally "δεν ξέρω/δεν απαντώ" lmao.

And?? She may have accidentally come out to me too??? Without realising it?????

Because she said three things:

1. "Oh, when I was at your age I went through this phase as well." Which??????????? What does it mean if not the think I'm thinking of??? Ma have you really been in denial/the closet for 50 years?

2. "I was fiercely defensive of gay people when I was younger." Which, YES. As you should μαμά. Only it has created this haunting fear in me that in 30 years time, with "experience", I'll change too and I'll go against my gay brothers and sisters as Ορθοδοξία seems to want. Which I won't. I hope. I can only hope my heart won't change, even if I marry a guy and go ahead and have children of my own. Like... it doesn't make sense, HOW did she change her mind in the first place??? How does that happen to someone? Will it happen to me too?

3. "It's okay, I love you for who you are." In the end, all is good. Even if she thinks she's a phase that I'll grow out of, and probably would not allow me to think about dating/settling with another woman, she's not cutting me out of the will! She still loves me!! It's a win for me. :D

Also she approves of cute gender neutral nicknames because she's always called me that. Like: το ζουζουνάκι, το μαρουδάκι (εννοώντας πασχαλίτσα🐞), το κουφετάκι, κτλ.

I really love her little habits I'm sorry. :')

B. Αδερφούλα

I'll keep it brief because there's not as much to say. She's younger than me so she used to have a very much "oh ew wtf" reaction.

But recently?? She's been treating it like an inside joke??? Like, refering to me as "το τέρας" ή "το αρνί" because she knows I love being affectionately/jokingly called an "it". Also making gay jokes in rare occasions, which I love.

She's a little insecure about being perceived as Λεσβία for her fashion sense, and I regularly assure her that she can wear whatever makes her feel good and not worry about how others see her. Can she rock a γυναικείο κουστούμι like a boss? Fuck yea. Does that mean she's a lesbian just because she looks masculine and pretty at the same time? Fuck no, you do you boo. I know how much you like dressing like this. Nobody's opinion can take it away. And lesbians are not Bad either, so she has a lot to unpack in the future. But I'm still very proud of her and how far she's come since I first told her (long before mom actually) and I absolutely love her to death.

Also she called me a bottom. Shame on her. Gah, siblings.

Honorary entries:

C. Dad

I have yet to come out to him because he often ridicules openly queer people on TV. Like, οικογενειακά watching Eurovision the Maneskin year (every year really) was both hilarious and terrifying.

But, like?? He's also lowkey kinda Bi too in a repressed way? In the way that he's loyal to the woman he married but also making strong bromances when given the chance? It's so funny to me, because he has such a soft and fond expression when talking about friends he has sort of trauma-bonded with (term used loosely, but you know how Dads are).

I could also be just tripping and trying to seek comradeship where there's none because Parents are the ones a child seeks to relate to, but I'd rather not psychoanalyse me rn.

D. Granny

Also can I just talk about Passive Acceptance. Because granny (without knowing about my identity) sometimes refers to me and my sister as παλικάρι in a Gender Neutral sense ("δεν είναι μόνο τα αγόρια παλικάρια" she says. granny is a feminist icon without even trying to be. slay.) and it makes my woman-in-a-vague-sense-i-guess(?) heart do the little proud flutter thing.

Also does it make sense to be a non-binary when it comes to speaking English but sort of a woman (actually yes a woman but also yes and no at the same time because I look and act really soft cheery and feminine but I'm mentally also a τέρας από την άβυσσο και τα τάρταρα :D) when speaking Greek??? It's so confusing, how can I perceive gender in two entirely different ways at the same time what the everloving fuck. What AM I...??

Again, sorry for the jumbled thoughts, my last three braincells are busy rn χορεύing Καλαματιανό.

Γειαα! Παιδια με σκλαβωνετε με τα μηνυματα σας τελευταια 💗 Ειλικρινα χαιρομαι παρα πολυ που εχω εστω και λιγο την εμπιστοσυνη σας - εγω μια ξενη στο ιντερνετ - και μου λετε τις σκεψεις και τις ιστοριες σας! Το εκτιμω παρα πολυ!

Να ξερετε οτι ακομα και αν τυχον διαφωνουμε σε καποια πραγματα, μπορειτε να μου στελνετε μηνυματα. Γιατι ποτε δε θα διαφωνησω με το δικαιωμα καποιου να ζει με ασφαλεια και να ειναι ο εαυτος του (το οποιο ειναι ανθρωπινο δικαιωμα ουτως ή αλλως)

Επισης: Δημοσιευω το μηνυμα επειδη δεν υπηρχε καποια δηλωση που ελεγε να μην το κανω. Αν καποιος ομως θελει να μη δημοσιευσω καποιο μηνυμα ή να διαγραψω καποιο μηνυμα, ας μου το πει, δεν υπαρχει θεμα!

Οκ switching off to English!

The whole experience is So Greek, damn! Starting with Mother, telling her Descriptively, her saying that she also liked women "one time", then considering that something is off with Dad as well, then mentioning the accidentally supportive Grandma who gives no shits... Πρεπει να εχουμε ενα σχετικο επεισοδιο στις Οικογενειακές Ιστορίες ετσι για την ταυτιση των τηλεθεατων.

Also, just because I am a nosy dramatic bitch, I would DEFINITELY bring back this conversation if this was my mum, and I would tell her "You know that you like women too, right? You can't just... lose attraction for a whole gender overnight. And they also say that sexual orientation is genetic......" Just to see her reaction and try to convince her 😂 (Don't attempt if you think it won't go well for you! 😅)

I'm really happy about how you handled things with your sis! Being perceived as a lesbian is nothing bad because lesbians are nothing bad! She can rock whatever she wants, like you said! There are lesbians out there who dress like "everyone else", meaning that clothes can potentially be a hint but you can never tell just by the clothes. She has a lot to unpack indeed but with more teaching moments by you, I'm sure she's in good hands.

Oooooh that Dad case! I have a theory here, knowing Greek dads. Perhaps he will be more supportive than you think. Not just because of the things you mentioned, but because he loves you and supports you as his child (from what I read). Greek dads can be ride or die, especially with their daughters. So, if you are confident enough when you tell him, if you look logical and self-aware, he actually might back you up and he might be the most supportive! Parents often dismiss their children because they believe that children are doing it for attention, or because of a whim. Greek dads, I've noticed, want things to be told to them with huuuge neon letters, otherwise they don't act on the situation.

For example, you can be like "Dad, I want to tell you something. (diretor hint: play it sad and worried here, he might feel the need to be protective instead of defensive) I like women too, and I have been feeling it for a long time. I didn't feel it because someone else "indoctrinated" me to it. It's a natural feeling to me. It is not a phase. I cannot switch it on and off like it's a hall light. Most importantly, this is not dangerous for me. I know that you might be concerned and we can talk about it. I just want you to know because this is an important part of who I am."

-- Again, assess the situation accordingly. You definitely don't have to do anything I suggest. And you can make the dialogue more or less cheesy :P In any case, when you talk to him keep in mind that he's an older man who grew up in specific decades and you have to make an effort to set things his way otherwise things will be lost in translation and neither of you will notice.

That's how I got an old aunt to support me. 😂This aunt was the type that says "A woman liking another woman?? Ιησούς Χριστός!!" I noticed what things she valued most (being your own person, having fun in life, not allowing anyone to step on you) and I built my case by telling her that the way I live at the moment gives me all these advantages. I also matched her tone, and I tried to see things from her side, which eventually helped guide her to the mindset I wanted to introduce her to. Sometimes many conversations and subtle hints are needed for this guidance. And they also need to like you because the Greek statement "το δικο μας το παιδι ποτε δεν κανει κατι κακο! το δικο μας το παιδι ειναι χρυσο!" will usually prevail over "A woman liking another woman?? Ιησούς Χριστός!!" 😂

What's more, some parents of queer kids already know what their kids are. They just don't say anything out of fear they will encourage this behaviour. Meanwhile the kids get stressed for decades about how the parents will react, and when they finally come out the parents, the parents are like "eh... we already knew, to be honest. We've been watching you hug and kiss girls since you were like... six. We just hoped that you'd grow out of it, that's why we didn't bring it up. We didn't want you to grow up into a behaviour that would separate you from other kids cause they would bully you and harm you."

The grandma is TOP, by the way! I feel like many older people really know what's important in life. The thought of two women getting married might never be palatable to her but she knows that alienating family members for harmless shit is not where it's at. I love her already!

On the "It's so confusing, how can I perceive gender in two entirely different ways at the same time what the everloving fuck. What AM I…??"

It is a fact that people slightly switch personalities when switching languages. English is a more polite, careful, and tip-toeing language, while in Greece malakas is a word of love if said to your friend 😂 And it's true that cultures perceive gender in different ways. So if you switch to US English and get into their mindset, they have another version of femininity. (Well, the whole country is diverse but I'm talking about the generic, permeating WASP stereotype of the preferred femininity in the US media)

I switch behavior in English too and sometimes I find that I'm more polite and "more feminine" there, which for me... eeeh not my style so much. (English makes us dysphoric, pass it down 😂😂😂😂)

Which brings me to another discussion. I am not nonbinary so I won't want to speculate on what nonbinary is and how it feels. Instead I will speak about a phenomenon sometimes seen in women, who, (sometimes!) need to be seen as a person (who deserves full respect) and not "just a woman" they take up the nonbinary label. Being a woman (or a man) comes with certain expectations and baggage and sometimes as a woman (or as a man) you can totally feel like "fuck it, I want to opt out" or "I already don't do these things and I don't want to ever do them or feel them, so I guess am actually not a woman/man".

I want to stress again that I don't imply non-binary people are this. And I'm not saying that's you. I'm just leaving this out there because it's very harmful when society makes you feel like "failing" at your gender and telling you "you are not a real man/woman because you don't do the X stereotypes", and some people fall for it want to "opt out" of their gender without realizing that in the process they're following the logic of... binaries.

Whatever you identify as should come from the inside, not from what society tells you a woman should be. Because, as you noticed, the Greek and the US society have different notions of what a woman "should be". Heck, you might move to Sweden and find out that out there you feel like Barbie while in Greece you may feel like Babis doing the exact same things😂 Don't rely on society and stereotypes, my humble opinion is. Rely on yourself. And it's okay if you don't have a definitive answer to "what you are". Just live and present as you are most comfortable.

One more thought that I have, which you can also take or leave, is about the sexuality part. I'm not family or a friend, and I don't know you well. I'm not an authority and I don't think my words are scripture. My speculation could perhaps help your brain cells stop χορεύειν τσάμικον γύρω απ τη φωτιά στο δάσος 😂

Sooo... have you considered asexuality?

Heeeaaar me out. Your confusion seems a bit similar to that of people who are asexual but don't know it yet. First of all, there's a difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction. Asexuals usually start thinking they are gay or bi because their sexual attraction to men and women is the same. Zero. 0 = 0 after all 😂

At the same time, asexuals can often feel "off" in their gender and gender expression because automatically they don't subscribe to amatonormative rules and hence, they don't subscribe to gender rules.

An asexual can still have aesthetic attraction to people (just not sexual) and want a romantic relationship. An asexual can have aesthetic attraction to only one gender or many. There's a whole spectrum in asexuality, and there are ace identities like the aegosexuals who are actually not sex repulsed. They are interested in sex as an idea, but they just don't experience sexual attraction for people in real life. (Imagine it like, you like watching football for the rush and the technique, but there's nooo way you want to go down on the field and start kicking a ball.)

Their relationships with their significant others are often "queerplatonic" because the way they perceive gender and companionship (that is not friendship) is queer compared to the rest of society.

I thought about this cause you mentioned the "hauntingly persistent bisexuality", and also because usually the answer to "so you wanna fuck women?" is "eh…yes??" if you are attracted to women in the usual way xD But of course, it might be just your character, that you don't want to focus on sex despite having sexual attraction, and, as you said avoid "dehumanizing" the other. So again, my speculation might be wrong. If you know you are sexually attracted to people, and if you don't have to ask "what is sexual attraction tho?" then that's probably not it😄

Okay, I rambled for too long again but I hope this message has helped you at least in one way. Know that you are already slaying out there and you WILL CONTINUE to slay because you're a cool and kind person with great self-reflection skills.

=================================

Generic message: If my posts have helped you in any way consider buying me a ko-fi 💖

#answered #greek speaks #lgbt+ in greece #queer

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fella-lovin-fella · 1 year ago

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15 and 39 for the pride ask! :)

15 - favorite thing about being lgbt?

i love being queer! if i had to pick a favorite part, i'd have to say my community. some of the smartest, bravest, strongest, most outspoken people are lgbt, and they make me proud to be who i am.

39 - do you have a type in a partner?

yeah my partner <3 jdjsjs no but im bisexual and i just like people with gentle hearts and good senses of humor

#ty for asking!!#ask #anon #dantes talking again

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butterycube777 · 2 years ago

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You should consult an organization who assists people in escaping abuse. There are many. You're an adult, you could also get a job or covertly reach out to social services for help, or even seek a free/low income therapist or counselor who won't coddle or enable you while also giving you the tools to deal with any trauma you might have. If you're lgbt, reach out to a local lgbt organization. If the situation is truly that bad, you can and SHOULD find a way to leave asap even if it's scary as hell because the truth is that when you're being abused anything is better than allowing it to continue because despite FEELING powerless, you are not at all powerless- you do have the ability to live life on your own terms and I know that you will go places in life if you seek out real support. Not furries on discord- REAL support from the people in your local community who care. This doesn't mean its your fault for being in a bad situation however you cannot just lay down and hope that you will raise enough money from your ugly furry artwork to get away from it all (speaking as someone who lived in a youth emergency shelter at 15 after running away from an abusive home, and then was placed into shitty group homes, and has been on and off the streets since. I am now in my mid 20s and have a relatively stable life, a job I love, drastically improved mental health, and success with my art which has improved since taking some life-drawing courses from local artists- very affordable btw, and some will even let you in for free if you explain that you are low-income- but I would never have tried to rely on making money off of my art in an emergency! Its too unpredictable and too unstable an income especially if you're formally untrained in any arts, and actively being abused. You remind me of my sad little fucked up 19 year old self. Just know that you have the power to improve your life and break these patterns if you choose to do so. Pro tip: get away from the furries and delusional people and anyone who thinks DID is anything other than a hobby for people who love to roleplay. The DID thing is a horribly unhealthy larp. Find humans to identify with and connect with. Get off your phone. Leave consumerism and individualistic self-obsession with identity and labels behind. Get a real hobby- try lifting weights, you'll love it, it greatly helps if you're a dissociative person like me. Really helps you feel alive and connected to your body and less dysmorphic, and if gives you something to feel proud about too) so instead of using abuse and threatening to archive your account as a way to get people to pity-commission you, please take responsibility for yourself and your life, and find a way to take control of your outcome. You're NOT weak or stupid- your circumstances have just warped you. Life is short- you're capable. I know this seems harsh but the only thing that ever helped me was people who CARED enough about me and were brave enough to shake some sense into me and help me break free from the delusionland I was living in.

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spirituallesbianblog · 1 year ago

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Rocking My Own Brand Of Spiritual Lesbian Chic

Lesbian Sexuality

'So here we are on Planet Earth a prestigious home for a species referred to as humans appearing on a worldly stage as male and female with limited information for how they got here or why'

This for many is still a daily dilemma as mankind treks through a life of intrigue taking for granted their mere existence. An illusion granted by an elusive biblical god or perhaps a curtain call for souls to reincarnate in a bid to find the golden chalice of Nirvana. A quintessential ideal inspired by mavericks of enlightenment as a way to express the essence of a God who co-creates with a support crew of guides designed to help a soul on their often perilous journey. The time span is measured by birth and then death but in between the soul takes on the look of a human on a mission designed in a faraway cosmic place. If it sounds like a fable or myth it's easy to see why as our access to the ultimate truth of our origins is a time-honored question answered by a mainstream God or big bang theory of evolution. Taking it a step further I encourage the debate I may have chosen to walk the talk of my mortal life as a lesbian. Yes, a member of the legendary LGBT global community and a point of difference on this planet of conspired prejudice. If my validity as a reincarnated soul bears truth then I am ultimately proud to be of varying sexuality and embrace this governance with love and honorable conviction. For it is something I clearly desired to do so return to the theory of reincarnation as an answer for my apparent gayness.

'Sifting through a mega load of fact and fiction as to why I prefer the divine feminine romantically and sexually was a mindblowing experience'

That is until I saw a spark of light in the form of awareness and this was a door opener to digging for my own truth. Instead of a bandied-about set of ideals promoted by religion and societal opinion that being gay must be a product of nature or bad parenting. All have validity if we live by the code of a tainted world hell-bent on standing by the conditioned belief that lesbians and gays are too left-field for the citizens of a planet that adheres to alienating people outside the specter of normal. A righteously described word in the Oxford Dictionary as "what you would expect perfectly." And this is where the ways of our prohibitive world get militant as we take the label we are given to describe our place and meaning alongside others who may comply with a collective view. Holding my stance as a lesbian forced me to be rock solid in my understanding I was different but still a part of this human experience. In fact, my strength of purpose held me in good stead as I navigated the inner thoughts of those who were opposed to my sexual preferences. It's the biased way of a world that shies away from what they don't perceive as a good fit for all they have learned and believe. Within every nation, a cloud of pessimism hangs over my lesbian stance as humanity still holds true to its steadfast, patterning. A recurring style of holding on tight to learned ideas about people places and ways to live a life. In fact, the lesbian goddess has faced an eternity of shaming for her loving heart that magnetizes to the Eves of the planet and not the Adams. These days being gay is more enabled but we need to pay homage to the elders of our lesbian tribe who built a more accepting path for us to walk upon with pride.

'So thank you to the fabulous femmes who were trailblazers and gutsy enough to entertain their right to be lesbian'

A celebrated theme in my life also and dignified with acceptance we are not all part of a heterosexual lineage. And rightfully so as this world is not a canvas of sameness for every flower that blooms have a color to entice the senses as does the appearance and allure of our human persona. We are all drawn to that thing we find attractive and uniquely different through the eyes of individual perception even when others are blinded by their beliefs. For example, you may be psychic and not always appreciated for your unique talents in a setting of religious discord when through the eyes of the awakened these spiritual blessings of clairvoyance, clairaudient, and claircognizance are considered a divine gift and not a devilish curse. And that is how I see the blessing of being gay as an opportunity to see through the eyes of difference and how I love the challenge of reincarnating to earth as a divine lesbian. I say divine as I truly believe I am a spark of source although some might perceive me as a 3-D misfit. It all depends on your perspective and my experiences have opened doors in my mind to think way beyond the storyline of Planet Earth from the tales that stretch back in time governing the way we think, speak, and interact as humans in a worldly community. Every day I hear words of love or hate wrapped up in manipulative sentences that persuade others to follow instead of lead. This is why the stronger often win in the game of influence. And how this world continues to push the buttons of people who may not have a clear vision of who they are or what space they share with humankind.

'This is how false prophets are born and cause mayhem even on a smaller scale within the framework of friendships or romantic relationships'

Lesbian Couples

'My romantic thoughts as an outed lesbian are all about a princess in a designer dress waiting at the alter for her divine feminine to arrive'

This is a woman of high honor mixed with 3-D earthiness and creative, ethereal intellect. She will have a keen interest in saving the world and inspire others to clean up their attitudes when it comes to how we treat Mother Earth and our beloved animal friends. This makes her a compatible alliance with this Starseed lesbian who knows she will settle for nothing less than a healthy harmonious partnership. My loving intent for a mature and motivated union is based on an attraction that goes spiritually soul-deep with a shared understanding of the human psyche. Sadly in the dark spaces of suburbia and city life, many relationships are being played out in a not-so-cohesive style as learned patterns that corrupt even the most loving togetherness due to earlier life experiences. We don't often get why our partner is behaving like a Jekyll and Hyde until we discern what remnants of childhood might linger in the shadow side of our same-sex marriage. It is not our fault we picked up the bad habits of our parents and took them gladly into a love affair where they are magnified in the relationship dynamic. And with no guidebook to fix the growing issues our lesbian, and bisexual love affairs go up in smoke as failed partnerships and generally with a ton of blame attached. How were any of us to know when our homework after school comprised math, English, and other job-related education but not basic relationship psychology? In my opinion a 'must learn' ethic as couples are going to war on a daily basis for lack of knowing what the hell is happening to their romance that was once loving and orgasmic.

'The high vibe emotion and great sex crumbles because humans have not learned the ABC of how to get along'

And why would they when all you have to go on is the exchange witnessed between Mom and Dad? Was it reciprocated or unrequited? These are important things to know as so many interactions in marriage between partners are based on what their guardians did and the little they knew about patterns and programming. And of course why our world is a perfect storm of failed relationships and still prejudiced toward same-sex love? Mankind is infested with a virus called 'continuance. What is this you might ask? In simple terms, continuance is the ongoing repetition of an idea or way of thinking that is detrimental to emotive sensual liaisons. (The heartbeat of human closeness). We crave it and set sail on unchartered seas just to feel the roar of our own sexual bliss with no constraints in the arms of a lover, we feel the magnetized allure of connection. The tantra of two souls exploring their ecstasy in healthy intimate ways. This is the benchmark for lesbian unions where past traumas are put on the table so each partner can be aware of the fallout that comes in the way of triggers ignited by fear of opening up sexually and intimately because the hurt from a former relationship still remains. And that means unhealed wounds lying dormant until activated by something that reminds the lesbian or bisexual of treatment by a former lover or abuse in the family background. You see we think we are healed only because we have tucked the trauma away without thought it will come back to haunt us when prompted by a lover's touch as a reminder you were molested as a child.

'Finding the way back to a healthy overture of trust is achievable when both people understand they are invested in helping each other heal'

And the only way to do that is with the help of a professional or education of the mind and human condition. It is here the answers to why we think the way we do can help us navigate this life with a healthier outlook rather than being a victim to others' harsh treatment or events that traumatize our belief in a safe world. Most of us are walking around with hang-ups from childhood or relationships with constant issues caused by past actions from people who were programmed to treat us a certain way. This is the twisting and turning nature of our 3-D world the arena we touch down as a soul when we reincarnate into life as a human. This journey is guaranteed to be a contrasting mix of love, chaos, good times, and tests galore. So why does a soul seek to camp out on a planet where an emotional climate spews out heartbreak, pain, and of course elation? The answer lies in the variety an earth expedition provides for the soul as an expression of the invisible and unexplained. You see a soul is a light being and fractal of the divine who in their infinite wisdom created the stars, planets, and all in between. It's a big ask at the best of times to consider the existence of a God, angels, light beings, and guides (some ancestral and animal) when life here is all about what we can see, touch and feel. Religions ask us to believe in the unforeseeable by means of faith and books that tell a story of higher powers and rules that we are expected to follow.

'This includes banning beautiful creatures that are gay, lesbian, transgender, and bisexual because of a historic belief in a god of penalty'

And this is manifested as a judicial process by way of the human jury. Dedicated solely to the continuance of separation on a planet that is screaming for kindness and compassion while replacing these heart-felt human qualities with distractions that feed a cycle of detachment. A worldly divorce from emotions is often replaced by a magic pill for every depressive occasion. And that includes the lower vibration generated by folks on Earth who keep the faith of bigotry and in doing so do this planet no favors as we head into the Aquarian Era Of Light still dragging our concepts of prejudice, racism, and non-acceptance of the LGBT community. Don't get me wrong there have been major inroads cultivated but it's still a reload of tired programs that keep playing out as finger-pointing toward those who march to a drum of difference. I personally just want to be me and live my life my way as a blueprint for my journey as a soul navigating the rhetoric of my human self. If we think about how amazing this life can be as a vehicle for intrepid growth we get to feel excited about the possibilities and let's face it they are infinitely endless. From the moment we are born a guardian angel is assigned to us and will stay with us until we leave this earthly life. And if we want to stretch the mind to corridors often closed off we can allow a belief there will be spirit guides that are also assigned to watch over our path. A mortal march we can't wait to participate in for the emotive dance it promises whether it's through pleasure or pain. The day I was activated to the mysteries behind the veil my heart skipped a beat and from that moment the light dawned on this lesbian's soulful life. The growth has been epic bringing the dream of this 'Spiritual Lesbian Blog' to life. Through this medium, I am walking the talk of my experiences and sharing every day that being a spiritual lesbian is powerful and a way to voice the beauty of being a gay female in an ever-discerning world. By embracing my lesbian light I am in a rare position to bring the loving essence of my heart to a planet of people who may have been told my lesbian stance is anti-god or abnormal. I don't see it that way as I am a divine feminine who loves dresses, make-up, and stepping out amongst the people with her own brand of lesbian chic. An authentic theme where goals, dreams, and passions highlight my soul adventure. it's a day-by-day entry to whatever presents as I instill my trademark in a world of severed ties. And that is a consummate feminine with ideals and ideas of her own here to shine her unique lesbian light.

'Let's get the party started!'

Author ~ Linda E Cole (The Divine Feminine)

#Lesbian Sexuality #Lesbian #Lesbian Couples #Lesbian Relationships #Spiritual Lesbian

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bananahwormz · 1 year ago

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8 9 10 33 and 34 for the pride asks

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

Apathetic. Everything and nothing all at once. The character customization screen. Tired.

9. When did you realize you weren't cishet?

Still figuring out the cis part. But in online spaces I always hated being tied down to a specific gender and in person I hate being tied to presenting one consistent way. As for the het part, my realization came from dating someone of the same sex and then nonstop daydreaming about the possibilities of being with someone like that. Like a hopeless little romantic. Also growing up I was always like, "Damn I wish we could pick our sexuality and gender, then I could be bi and genderless that would be so cool. Too bad that aint me..." LOL

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans):

Doesn't happen a lot, but when people can't tell what I am at first glance? Delish. When people feel gay around me? Yum. If you think I'm hot, you're gay. Congrats!

My fat ass and thighs

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/ want to recognize/celebrate?

It's freeing to not be tied down to cishet labels. Also being gay is fun.🙂 I love my gay homies. I celebrate queer friendships/relationships and the sense of community. The art community especially. It's some nice stuff.

34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?

I wish my family would put half as much effort they do into understanding, learning and accepting the LGBT+ community as they did with get rich quick schemes. They just all seem so selfish and ignorant to the world around them.

I wish I could control what my voice sounded like and that binding was more effective.

Not being afraid of getting murdered/bothered and having the law protect me and my loved ones would be nice.

#lgbt+#i say a thing #i answered a thing #pride #happy pride 🌈#pride month

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 years ago

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My dear lgbt+ kids,

Here is a hug for "the smart ones" - and I put that in quotations marks because it's not about your grades or the result of IQ tests, I am talking about the label.

Being "the smart one" can be great: your parents may be very proud of you. They may introduce you as the smart one to extended family or their friends, they may brag about you, constantly talk about your bright future and the stellar career you'll have, tell your siblings to be more like you... and all those great things are also the horrible things about it. It's a ton of pressure to put on a kid.

You may feel like your worth is linked to this label: if you ever fail at anything, you won't deserve love anymore. You may feel like you are nothing without your accomplishments. Like you are not allowed to ever have a bad day or go through something personal (like discovering your identity) because this may distract you and take away from your "smartness" and therefore from your worth as a human being. You may feel like you can never aim for "okay" or even "above average", you always need to aim for "the best".

It's honestly a pretty toxic label to place on you! If you relate to this, let me tell you:

- You are worth something because you exist. You are a human being, your worth is inherent and not conditional. You don't need to do anything or be the best at anything to deserve happiness, respect and love.

- Like every human being, you will have ups and downs. You will go through times where you are distracted and make mistakes and struggle with stuff... and that's perfectly fine. You can not expect yourself to always "achieve" things at the same level and rate, you are not a machine.

- You are so much more than that label. Your feelings, your interests and hobbies (even the "unproductive" ones!). your sense of humor, your kindness, the way you connect to others... and so much more, all of those things matter and make you the wonderful and unique person you are.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

P.S: It's not only Straight-A students who can feel this pressure. Some parents push that label on kids who actually struggle in school to explain away their struggles ("No, no, you are not overwhelmed, you are actually underwhelmed. You are too smart for school.")

#lgbt #lgbt+

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kiisaes · 2 years ago

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Hey kisa! I hope you have a wonderful day and I looove your arts and sketches!

I read your post about queerness in Asia and of the bkdk dynamic, it settled at the back of my head and really just starting to marinate itself into something. Sometimes I wake up and couldn't feel anything about bkdk being real or canon at all even though facts are just right there in my face. I really do love bkdk, but I felt so true of your words on queer Asians that I couldn't see all those fan contents of bkdk someday being canon. Like, most of them didn't sit right with me and it's so hard to find one that represents queerness in Asia correctly (because bakugou and Deku are indeed Japanese=Asians).

I don't know why I reach out to you but I just wanna say, your post resonated with me a lot. I'm Asian and I found out I'm queer in my 16s. Here, being queer isn't like a world-breaking news or people will hate on you cuz you're different, but it's the community sense that makes queer people stay quiet and humble. Idk how to explain myself but it's true that even when we found out our gender/sexuality, most of us tend to prefer blending in with society rather than standing out and be proud of our identity (it's for various reasons like you mentioned, for family's namesake, for friends', even for strangers).

About bkdk, in my honest opinion, standing on Horikoshi's viewpoint and trying to understand his creating ideas with the consideration of a whole Asian community behind him, I cannot see bkdk kissing if they were to end up being endgame. They might chose to be a pair of queer platonic best buddies who are the most intimate and closest person to each other and no one else can take that place in each other's heart. Their dynamics might stay the same but they'll always have each other's backs. They might hold hands occasionally or be more touchy with each other than with others 'cuz that's ultimately where their dynamics and relationship lead up to in the whole story. They don't have to declare that they love each other or establish a new form of relationship and that's okay. Because for me, that's how being queer and being quiet and being Asian is. You get to be yourself proudly, but you don't have to yell it to the world to be recognized and feel validated. It's ok to be humble and still be proud.

Thanks kisa for wording out my feelings and thoughts in a much coherent way. I do think some Asians(not queer people) have a strange way at viewing lgbt+ because it's the western stereotypical concepts of the community that is more drilled into their minds. Even my parents sometimes forgot that I'm queer and thought that was a phase lol.

(sorry for ranting so much, that last part might be me dumping my whole hc at you I'm sorry!!! I feel really touched by your words and it has been sitting on my chest for a while and seeing bkdk still ten million miles away from being canonically endgame is so frustrating hsgdjaksh

WOW HI !!! i hope u're having a good day/night too anon and thank u !!! :D

i'm really honored my words reached you! as a queer asian, i completely agree with everything you said here. i'm also in the boat where i don't think bkdk will be officially canon, despite how many bkdks think they will. i think it's a very inherently naive thought that a japanese shounen series of mha's size and caliber will confine to western lgbt standards. it's just not that easy! and i've ranted in length about my pessimism ... and i will continue to stay that way until i'm definitively proven wrong LOL (i hope i am btw!!!)

there's definitely something inherently queer asian about bkdk's relationship, if they were to hypothetically be canon. i completely agree that, imo, they'll only be considerably queerplatonic if they're any type of queer at all. hoping for a more "proudly gay" bkdk is nice, but pretty unlikely all things considered. being "proudly gay", like completely coming out of the closet and disregarding what society/family has to say about you, isn't as simple in asian communities. being quietly and humbly queer is something i, and many queer asians, resonate with a lot! that's just as valid as being loudly and unabashedly queer!

if bkdk becomes officially, loudly, and excessively canon then that'd be incredible!!! i won't push it away in the slightest!!! it'd be a great push for shounen jump and a sign that more lgbt stories can exist, even if they're at mha's size!!! more acceptance of marginalized communities is always good!!!

but i also think that bkdks who refuse to accept bkdk not being canon because not being openly official = not good/queer enough, should perhaps open their minds more to what society mha is written in. smaller showcases of closeness, comfort and camaraderie can be just as queer as shouting it from the rooftops. that's good enough! and if that's what bkdk gets in the end, then i'll be satisfied, even if horikoshi doesn't confirm their relationship :>

(and AAAA no worries!!! hey i love talking about bkdk in relation to asian queerness, so u're good!)

#asks for becki #bakudeku #bkdk

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