#i am physically vibrating irl with Feelings. of some kind

[capn-twitchery]

thinking about twitch for too long makes me sad but thinking about grace too long makes me feel insane. it makes me want to bite something

i've had so many ocs in my life and never has one so badly made me wish i could reach through the screen to grab them and shake some goddamn sense into them boy get it TOGETHER!!!

[ghost-like-pale]

fuckin' perv

info: some gross guy thinks you're his, sapnap thinks otherwise. 》 female clothing/anatomy, they/them pronouns 》 irl + romantic 》 1.4k words

warnings: (sexual) harassment and assault, physical fighting, hurt/comfort, swearing

a/n: ty for the support on my last piece ♡ please enjoy

this blog it meant as a way of coping with trauma/mental issues, please don't report it. if you don't want to see what i write, please just block me.

——♤——

the evening sun shone an orange glow over the city. the chatter of the citizens rang through the streets past all the tall buildings, the cars and taxis making their way to their patron's destinations and the smell of your favorite restaurants wafted past the pavement. you've grown up in the city, getting used to it, yet never getting bored.

all of these memories made you think about your boyfriend; he was a real country boy - born and raised in texas and everything. it never failed to bring a smile to your face whenever he pointed out a particularly tall office or a pretty neon 'open' sign.

something he's never been very fond of is the people. specifically older men. they always had a certain look on their face as you walked by, making him swing an arm around your hip or slipping a hand in your pocket. he's always been quite protective over his lover. you didn't mind, though.

—

there wasn't much time to reminisce on your loverboy right now - you were going to see him today! your car broke the day before, so with great displeasure you had to take the bus. you hated public transport. everyone was so close to each other, the air was stuffy and there was always someone to make you horribly uncomfortable.

you pulled your mask further over your nose when you reached the stop. the small space was bordered by plastic panels and a poster for some music event, nothing of interest. the sound coming from your earbuds made your foot tap the the rhythm until the bus finally emerged from the passing traffic.

the ride was peaceful, which made you strangely wary - like a calm moment before the storm. you didn't mind the busride being quiet, but the feeling never shook.

after waving at the busdriver and thanking him kindly, you hopped off the vehicle onto the concrete pavement. three other people walked out with you; and old couple, one holding a walker and a 20-something year old man. the clicking of his tongue grew impatient as he got stuck behind the couple. after a moment the two elders managed to get off the bus safely and the man could finally get to his stop.

you didn't pay them any mind, you wanted to see sapnap as soon as possible. you kept walking at a brisk pace, growing more exited with every step. after passing and crossing a few streets you started to feel uneasy. feeling eyes drilling right through your back, you rummaged in your bag and pulled out a small handheld mirror and lip gloss. as you were applying your gloss you glanced behind you, scanning the faces you could catch from within you peripheral vision.

you were surprised to see the impatient man from the bus stop a few feet behind you. now realizing the situation, you hastily stuff everything back into your bag and start walking again, this time quicker than before. the stabbing look didn't shake, however.

you were getting more anxious as it got darker and the crowds became scarce. the destination was on the edge of the city, where there was nothing other than small stores and the occasional crappy apartment building. the pavement was easy to see if you looked down; no polished dress shoes, no sneakers, no stilettos, nothing. just the occasional group of chatting teenagers passing by or an overworked retail worker walking home.

with every frantic step forward he seemed to get one step closer. the sound of your feet tapping on the floor came to a halt as you arrived at a crosswalk with a red light. the man hummed an unorganized tune and stood behind you and casually waited for the light to turn green. everytime you'd move, so would he. the brief moment waiting in front of the crosswalk felt like centuries.

—

ding. the pole emitted a bright green and you sighed in relief. you rushed over to the other side of the street, making sure not to hit someone on the way there. as you were moving along you suddenly felt a hand on your back, slowly gliding down over your-

"what are you doing?!"

the panic in your voice didn't phase the man, though he did take his hand off your lower half and placed it on your neck instead. he slowly backed you into a small alleyway while muttering a response.

"calm down, cutie. it's just a hand."

you slapped his hand off yourself, losing the hope you had when you realized you were the only one with him on this block.

"let me go, you creep!"

this response to his 'compliment' didn't please him; he harshly grabbed you by the roots of your hair and pushed you against the cold brick wall of a corner store.

"listen here, bitch. you're gonna listen to me real good, and you're gonna obey everything i tell you, understood?"

you whimpered in pain, shutting your eyes and tears dipping at your chin.

"understood?!"

with another yank at your hair you mewled and nodded hastily. this seemed to satisfy him.

"good. now, let's have some fun, shall we?"

his hand rested on your thigh and gradually made its way up, under your skirt until it hit your underwear. the other was around your wrists, holding them both with his larger hands to the side of your head. his feet trapped yours, putting his weight on your toes so you wouldn't kick him.

"ngh-!"

"heh, can't handle stimulation, can you? guess this will be more fun than i imagined- ugh!"

the man was knocked back harshly, the hand that connected with his face quickly retreating to the body it belonged to. sapnap. the man felt his jaw, there was blood dripping off his lip.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO THEM?!"

sapnap boomed in anger at the man. before he could even think of an answer he was hit again by the same hand. sapnap was now right next to you, him seeing your trembling figure in his peripheral vision. once he was sure that gross excuse of a person was going to stay down he turned to you.

his entire body language changed; his arms turning from tense limbs into a welcoming place to rest in, his chest forming into a warm pillow to fall into, his eyes from a slaughtering rage into a kind and sympathetic expression. your tears were already flowing as you sank into his embrace. he engulfed you completely, shielding you from everything and anyone, soothing the intense fear and horror you just experienced.

"you're okay now, baby. i got you, i got you."

his tone was smooth like honey, the words pulling you further in his secure clutch. the screaming must've attracted a few people, because before you knew it your hug was interrupted by him gently loosening his grasp and lowering his voice.

"we should get home, we don't want this hellhole to become a exhibition. here-"

he unwrapped his arms and pulled his grey hoodie over his head and handed the clothing article to you.

"wear this, baby."

you accepted his hoodie and threw it over your upper body. when you were finished sapnap grabbed your hand and guided you out the alleyway and turning a corner. his car was parked a little further.

"i wanted to give you a nice ride through the outer city, but i think you'd rather be home, am i right?"

you nodded. your face was stung by the wet streaks on your face with the cooling air hitting your features. you eventually reached the car, sapnap sitting down into the driver's position and you plopping down onto the passenger seat.

—

the soft revving of the car's engine made for a nice background noise as you drove over to sapnap's house. you reached the destination quicker than expected. time didn't feel like it was passing at this point.

your legs refused to move, even when sapnap opened the door for you. sapnap, understanding the situation, picked you up bridal-style and carried you and your bag out the vehicle.

—

your body was weak, both from the late hours of the night and your vivid memory of what happened about half an hour ago. the mattress sank next to you as you snuggled further under the covers. sapnap radiated warmth, making you move your body towards him and latching onto him like a koala.

"rest, angel. we'll talk about it in the morning."

his voice reverberated in his chest, the vibrations bringing you comfort. his hand found a good spot on the top of your head, lightly pushing it into him.

"good night, (y/n)."

you hummed as a response before passing out. sapnapchuckled at your cute resting face.

"sleep well, baby. you deserve it."

—

thank you for reading. please don't be too harsh on me, heh

masterlist

[unproduciblesmackdown]

here’s the matter of fact text post re: i guess i achieved the goal of an intermittent thing i’d do where i’d try to find anyone online talking about the ‘weird’ experience i have with masturbation which is, inherently, not exciting or anything but it’s like, even if i just Know of course it’s not just me, i want to like, hear someone else talk about anything similar ever, b/c so far it’s just a text post i saw once and can’t ever rediscover and someone talking about their experience that stems from an inapplicable physical trauma so....Yay, seeing as it’s been years i’ve been like “seriously though” lmao  

i was like Lol @ myself b/c i was like “man after i try for like 30 sec to crank it it a) doesn’t go anywhere hardly and b) i lose interest Way fast and it’s like mildly annoying” and so i thought about that post that’s like [me after sex: well that was a waste of my goddamn time. anyway back to speedrunning] but that’s me after a halfhearted attempt to masturbate and not really getting anything out of it anyways lmaoo like. it’s okay or i wouldn’t even bother fairly regularly but also it tends to end with like, me going off on a distracted tangent for even a moment and it can just hit an absolute brick wall like okay i don’t even have the Interest in continuing with this anymore like i might’ve had before starting like Well That Was A Waste Of My Goddamn Time Anyway Back To [whatever it is that i do]

and then like either that same night or the next my dreams had the audacity to get deeply uncomfortable for no reason like. all i do is have Anxiety Dream Themes thrown together where like. for example as i write this, two nights ago i had a dream segment about “i’m on vacation at the beach” but it was all Anxiety b/c it’ll all be about how i can hardly visit said beach coz i keep getting sidetracked at the hotel or w/e while i’m Trying to visit it while i still can, and last night i had the same Theme but trying and failing to ride roller coasters (which i Enjoy irl) and like, the beach one in particular recurs not Too infrequently lmao where i’m surprised by the rarity of something like “you’re at the beach and it’s fun” lol.......i don’t have anything i’d call a nightmare too often but Anxiety / a somewhat threatening/worrisome situation is like, fairly constant lol, with some occasionally more neutral stuff and a really rare Fun Dream but anyways it was still Bizarre that my dreams pitched me “you’re Someone who i guess is dating this abstract Partner and the scenario is you feel obligated to have sex with them” and it was weird like, woke up the next day like “why did my brain drag me through this deeply unpleasant dream situation” like. not totally unheard of for my dreams to touch on a Scene ft. sex and/or physical intimacy and even on occasion it’ll be an “i’m (or whoever i am as a maybe semi-abstract First Person camera character lol maybe ft. some particular concept attached to the ‘role’) having some sexual encounter and it’s Fine or enjoyable” but it’s generally fleeting As Per Usual Dream Structure and it’s like why was this one that sucked like, particularly dragged out by those usual dream standard’s, come on

anyways so going “haha i’m living the Waste Of My Goddamn Time thing” and “well thank you to my own brain for a bizarre and unpleasant experience while i’m just trying to be passed tf out” i was like “let’s look up again why not only can i not seem to orgasm but also like even expecting a way lower level of stimulation still Disappoints sometime like why do i bother” and yeah after first going the “does anyone Never manage to Not slam into a brick wall / basically completely lose interest all at once or practically all at once even and it all goes back to zero even if you started at like maybe a 1 or 1.5 and sometimes it happens with going down a random mental track” route i interestingly got some cis guys going “yeah hate when that happens on occasion” but yeah by now i had of course given up on “can i come at this from an [experiencing sensory input and processing from an autistic angle] angle” like. idk still interested in that of course lmao but god is searching for it a bit exhausting. but yeah after i threw in an [-erectile] search modifier i got was like oh a result on a site about asexuality re: masturbation, why didn’t i think of That angle. idk but here we are

informative stuff but the comments section where people who wanted to read an [about: masturbation] on a site About asexuality were talking about their experiences was like. i had mentioned how it was Enlightening that one person said I Do Not Enjoy Orgasms lol like i have not really heard that angle vs “you might not enjoy sexual stimulation” and/or “you might not be able to orgasm” but not you Can orgasm but you Might Not Even Like It Really like. the person said yes they got the Peak Of Intense Pleasure out of the orgasm but not so much any kind of afterglow and felt like they get dropped back to where they were before even trying to masturbate (aka. square zero again lol) and just yeah outright mentioned Not Enjoying it and another person replied like Yep it’s like that for me too.........already i’m like man i don’t even approach anywhere near an orgasm Ever but man would not be surprised if, even if i theoretically was capable of the physical experience, it would be the same as this way lower level Waste Of My Goddamn Time deal lol.......it’s Hilarious too that like. say “being at all in the mood to try to spank it” is a Square/Level 1, i feel like yeah most of the time i’m only getting this shit going to a 1.5, maybe a 2 or 2.5 if we’re on fire......very very very rarely have i been like “hey that was like, a 3 or some shit, damn” and honestly it’s not like oh so that ruled and is motivation to continue b/c like. the Surprise of it throws me off and it’s not necessarily that Great a surprise, more just like, jeez, idk, it feels like A Bit Much that basically registers as Tension where i’m hardly encouraged to keep it up like, makes me wonder if that’s a Sensory Processing Thing aka how sometimes i try to get any more in depth info on the logistics of Experiencing Sexual Stimulation re: also being autistic and the variety of ways that can unfold (i do know that like. the Sensory thing apparently can sure be a factor in either direction, i.e. might cause some ppl to really not enjoy sexual stimulation Or to like, super enjoy it. allistic ppl who might realize “thinking sex is awesome” is “”normal,”” brilliant.....like u didnt also “realize” that stims like fidget cubes and weighted blankets can be enjoyed “”normally”” like. still having a diff experience here and shut it) and i remember one time i was like “c’est la vie i will purchase a vibrator (and i got a second, external one as some deal going on)” and it was just a No Go b/c. it didn’t feel “bad” in that it was not necessarily like, yep here’s some sexual stimulation, but it was like, overwhelming in a Not Good way, yet also not physically painful, and i realize vibrators are made w/ different intensities and i definitely got Mildest ones so it wasn’t that

anyways like yeah #tbt to a time i really gave it a go (vibrator-less) for truly just short of two solid hours......plenty of that was me at Square Zero and getting back to level 1 alone (aka like. feeling Any positive response at all lmao) was kind of an achievement and maybe there was some 1.5 or 2 in there but it wasn’t like i felt that motivated and Just Keeping At It was not necessarily helping so. that was a waste of my goddamn time

can’t really remember what i was doing differently the last time i kicked things up to maybe a solid 2-3 Zone for truly like One Moment lol.....think i was just getting a little more hands on (since usually a spike in intensity makes me go “[?? / !!] whoa :/” and i lose Any momentum and/or “progress”) and that spike in intensity made me go [?? / !!] Whoa :/ and it didn’t matter, just got back to zero as always, and it’s not like these “Achievements” are “Enlightening” where i’m then like wow everyone’s right, really Trying with this shit pays off like lol. i still make a cursory effort but really just to burn off that Level 1-ness if anything like. kinda like “yeah neat here we go” but like. probably literally a minute or two later it’s like well Anyways.......another fun detail is that it’s not Always like “oh i got off on some mental sidetrack and losing focus = losing like All of even this low level of arousal and im back at zero” like, i might be in the middle of things and Lose Interest even while i’m currently experiencing a nonzero level of “yep this is some sexual stimulation” lol but it’s just like smh Whatever @ it......like, on the one hand the Tension of the stimulation gets in its own way, but if i entirely lose that then it’s like well okay this isn’t gonna go anywhere, may as well stop

so anyhow here’s the Particular Comment where i was like “wow this is so similar to #me that i guess i’ve finally found Someone Talking About It* (*however it goes for me)”

i can’t say i’ve done the Holding My Breath thing on Purpose but now sometimes i do notice i do it (and have probably Been doing it) lol like oh there i went and Exhaled in a [was holding my breath] way lol coz like they say there with the Loss Of Any Tension and the Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing like yeah lmao. and very same with the Five Minutes Max thing b/c yeah it really can be even less than One Minute sometimes before it’s like yeah square zero or just i lose enough interest anyways, getting bored like they say, ugh like it’s a brief description obviously lmao but i’m like god well there it is i guess, the [i know it’s not Just Me experiencing this like this but i’d still fucking like to find anyone else actually talking about it] account For Once Finally, thanks for putting it out there, Disappointed and a lil bored

naturally there are also ppl in the comments talking about how masturbation is an enjoyable thing for them and particular tips there but like it is Hilarious to me how a) some people orgasm easily or like. orgasm if they put effort into masturbation lmaooo like fucking imagine. and b) idk it’s like well i’m sure i’ve made hundreds of attempts and not even any Near Misses, it is simply like, not happening and c) yet at the same time Like This Commenter it’s like “well is there just another way of doing it i somehow haven’t hit on” like naturally i have to wonder like well idk maybe it’d be diff with a sexual partner b/c yknow, the same stimulation from Someone Else vs Yourself, and yet d) ha ha of course i haven’t had sex which people Don’t think of as Not A Joke lmao i referred to this fact abt myself with some casual humor to someone and my temper flared up when that was later taken as a Cue for someone who is not me to jokingly reference it (by Temper Flaring i mean i got annoyed enough to go Do Not Do That e.g. the post that’s like “[asserts one boundary] i’m not a people pleaser anymore i’m actually a huge cunt now”) and i probably shouldn’t feel like i have to “justify” this as well somehow other people have probably tried to Make A Move re: me but i have not been into it like well, what if nobody had ever been Interested that i knew of, that would be fine too, but. i am aware that ppl think of this as a joke still lmao, and i have to say that. im already doing letters like a) b) c) aren’t i but whatever, starting over a) well i haven’t had All the opportunity in the world as i have at various points (but basically continuously) for various reasons been pretty isolated and b) idk i have not had all these signs that point to me wanting to have sex with people exactly lmao but it’s like, c) even if i go “well maybe there’s Exceptions out there or Situations That Will Be Conducively Different Than The Limited Range Of Ones I’ve Had So Far” it’s like, okay, i could still just continue to feel “nah :/” re: any “opportunity” that ever presents itself or whatever. it is all very abstract for me anyways, so it’s like, whatever. but i’m also not the most Glad to discuss it b/c idk a lot of this stuff i know is like A Joke including how i’m still simmering with resentment from a year ago or more over some Tweet i saw trying to dunk a meme about how asexuals are Anti-Psychology like, that’s an entire Other Essay there but needless to say for one thing i just pre-resent people hearing “could being autistic factor into the particular experience i have losing interest / arousal so easily (and inevitably as it’s big time primary anorgasmia around here)” and going “aha that makes sense b/c being ace means there’s something Dysfunctional going on cuz Lbr and bieng autistic means being a Fucked Up version of an allistic person and your autistacity is going to fuck up things about you which ought to function properly” like well that feeds right into itself in a loop and i hate it. and i know the whole “hehe someone who hasn’t had sex is a loser” thing is way engrained in there lmao ppl throw that punchline out all the time and like, idk, see the (i’m autistic) thing like it’s not like this is an unprecedented concept or the only front on which im like “i Know this is a thing ppl negatively judge in general but i also Know i do not buy into that or feel bad about it” like i do not personally consider myself cringe and fail for not having had sex ever and do not consider that Premise that someone is a joke for it to be true re: anyone but at the same time i know that this whole Awareness that people are shitty about it is frustrating to me lol. plus i think it is getting into the Entire Thing where concepts as broad as Maturity and Humanity At Its Most Complex And Worthwhile are considered intrinsically linked to romance and sex, which is something that i am somewhat self-conscious of being aromantic and [having never had sex and it could well be that i will not ever have sex even if The Opportunity(tm) is there] and i know it is frustrating to me b/c sometimes when i start to even talk about “i have not had sex yes im aware this is like (spit take) what a nerd, Sure” b/c i will easily cry out of frustration like 5 seconds in lol. which i cry easily enough but Usually getting teared up b/c i feel Hyped Up / Enthusiasm for something lmfao.......anyways plenty of tangents to go down here but my point is shoutout to the other person for also never orgasming and just being bored with masturbation if anything

and also to the people who were like “i can have / have had orgasms but i don’t actually enjoy it” like considering the way that [not like i experience anything even close to an orgasm but there is sometimes An Increase in arousal achieved, either a tiny raise in the Level or on occasion a bit of a kick which is mostly like “whoa tf chill out”] is overall Underwhelming even if there is Any enjoyment in it and the whole Back To Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing re: the entire lack of afterglow they mention and it’s like well that kinda feels like parallel experiences here lmao. which tbh is like. makes me care even less with like Humorous Annoyance at the fact that ppl are out here simply able to have orgasms and to have access to that just by like yep here i go masturbating lmaooo like okay

anyways idk how to Conclude this lmfao. Fun Fact i have hc’s about how winston billions who is autistic experiences sexual stimulation (he gets the Really Enjoys It kind of sensory processing time here lol) but i suppose the easiest simplest one to explain is the “remember the Tayston Crying Sex drawing, the idea is that things can be kinda overwhelming while still being Good if it’s handled right by his partner (or himself ig lol) and he can tear up as sort of an overflow thing” like well you probably already knew that was connected to the broader whole of Winston Billions Autistic Hc’s but in case you didn’t: it is

[bluemoonpunch]

BTS Soul/Energy Map Healing - Please Participate.

The Moon and Venus align at 7 degrees in Libra on August 14th at 12:49PM EST

Surprise! The BTS Soul/Energy Map does, in fact, have a purpose and was, in fact, not shoved into my brain just to torture me. Groundbreaking, I know. If you've been on the blog recently, you know of the fuckery that's been happening and you know of the recent events involving a "transfer" of the low-vibe energy into the lower part of the BTS Soul Body. I will do something in the near future to explain all of it, I swear to you, but for now, there's, like, actual fucking work to do, lol. The purpose of the Soul Map really is to use it as a map, and yesterday it was explained to me how we are meant to use it and why, and what will (hopefully) come of it. I wanted this to be way more of a group effort and I had tried to film a video to explain things, show the map, give all the details start to finish, but my phone was acting up and my laptop is not the best for such things apparently. Bit of a bummer, but I have looked into what else you guys can do to help us out with this. ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE — You don't have to specifically belong to the BTS Soul Group (most of you are, anyway), even if you just happen upon this post, you are more than welcome to join in with this. Below the cut, I have provided a bunch of different ways for different people with different skill sets and different comfort levels to join in in any way that they see fit. This will be taking place August 14th, 2018 at 12:49PM EST (check your timezones) when Venus and the Waxing Moon align in Libra at 7 degrees. I was shown that this is a "point" or a "portal" and HAS TO BE used for this. The time of day for me (12:49) adds up to 7, the moon and venus line up at 7 degrees, 7 members, 7 positions on the soul map, and this work is meant to be done through all 7 chakras aligning and channeling through the Heart Chakra. I will have energy lines extended to continue funneling high vibrational frequencies into the Soul Body Structure until August 16th at 5:30AM when the Moon leaves Libra and enters Scorpio. More info and ways to participate are listed below. The most important thing you can do is literally allow yourself to feel love for BTS as a whole, all seven of them equally, and send out positive vibes to them with the intention of helping to heal, realign, and balance the Soul Body structure. Thank you for helping.

++ So, I've been given very specific directions of how to go about doing this and I've shared them with @lunar-lepus who has been about 80% of the brains in all of this. We're both good with energy and trance work, so I feel very confident with our ability to channel the energy that is accumulated from this alignment. I will provide info here on what exactly is happening, what we will be doing, and what you guys can do. The main issues within the Soul Body: The low-vibrational beings that had broken through the net and threw off the balance by loading the lines between the energy centers with Fire energy and over-stimulating their Divine Masculine influence have found the other opening in the Soul Body. This opening is the midway point between the accumulation of vibration of the Soul Body and physical manifestation. This means that they are infecting Taehyung and Kook's position in the Soul Body. They have specifically targeted Taehyung because of planetary shifts (Retrograde Mars going into Capricorn — Taehyung is a Capricorn, and is also an incarnate of the "product of Mars", AKA Mars’ child, just as Kook is an incarnate of the "product of Venus") This is the same tactic they used to latch onto Hoseok when the Eclipse energy was in Aquarius and all of those planets were in retrograde (they still are), except his was much worse as he is EXTREMELY sensitive to cosmic shifts. It’s his place in the Soul Map to be a filter for those energies. They found this opening towards the "feet" of the Soul Body because I posted a preview of the Soul Map and the transmission of this map was solidified in the 3D wavelength where these low-vibe beings exist. Basically, I fucked up and showed them right where they needed to go. That's why I wasn't supposed to show the map.     Kook is being affected in the sense that he is being blocked off from me and they are trying to block him off from Jimin. As an incarnate of the "product of Venus" he clings to Jimin's energy (Jimin = Libra = ruled by Venus), that is where that Parent/Child vibe comes from. Because Venus is in Libra and because Jimin is currently in a clear mental space, he and Kook are both balancing each other, so Kook is not as vulnerable as his Soul Brother, Taehyung is. Taehyung's manipulated energy is being "thrown" in Kook's direction though.     The space where Taehyung and Kook rule is where the projected energy is, it is where the "vibe" of BTS comes from. Objectively speaking, I think we're all aware of the fact that out of everyone Kook and Taehyung tend to be people's favorites, usually because of their looks and specific characteristics. This is why. They are the conduits through which the energy, vibration, frequency, transmission of BTS meets the physical world. This is why they are looked at more than other members, they carry more vibration in the 3D and therefore attract your subconscious attention. Becuase this space is now infected, this projected energy can be manipulated very easily. Again, the low-vibes’ terf is the 3D, this is where they rule. They have a much easier time fucking with shit at this level. What they are trying to do is literally mess with the projected energy so that the perception of those who pick up that projected energy will be altered. This is why I warned against playing into any rumors that come up, especially about Taehyung, and why I said to keep an open mind with the album. If they succeed with what they are trying to do, they can cut off a huge number of the soul group and drop the vibration of the soul group, the BTS Soul Body will deplete, and there will be a steady decline with them IRL, thus making it difficult or even impossible for them to fulfil their group purpose and implement and maintain a shift in consciousness and awareness for their MASSIVE soul group. This tactic that the low-vibes are using is literal psychological manipulation on members of the soul group as well as the general public. This is what they are best at.     Hoseok is not in his proper position in the Soul Body. He is meant to be on the left side under Namjoon and across from Yoongi. He is now in the center of the Soul Body. I was seeing it like they were using it as an infirmary like he's being healed there. Energetically speaking, he was in bad shape because of how much energy splitting took place due to the planetary/cosmic influences as well as the energy manipulation. Yoongi and Jimin are the ones healing him. Again, Jimin is a Libra, he carries that energy entirely in his core. Libra is ruled by Venus, and Venus is now in Libra. This gave him a lot of energy and this is why I was going to wait until the end of August to check back in with them all with the Outlook reading. I wanted all of this energy to settle and see where it took them. I was right in assuming that Venus going into Libra would help as Jimin is one of the balancing pillars in the Soul Body, the other being Jin. Jimin and Yoongi (Air and Water) literally cooled Hoseok down and pulled him towards them, which is why he's now in the center, and are putting their energy into healing him.     I was shown that Jimin and Yoongi are going to build something. They can't do it while they are healing and balancing Hoseok, and even then they don't have enough energy to do it with just the two of them —  they are the only ones in the Soul Body who are both engaged, balanced, and aligned properly. The energy work I am going to do while restructuring the Soul Body is going to funnel in energy that these two are going to use to build whatever it is that they want to build. I have no confirmation, but I'm assuming they are going to build some kind of wall around the Soul Body to keep this from happening again, but they will need all 7 members to be fully engaged, aligned, and balanced in order to keep it enforced. Again, this is something I'm going to help with through the energy work with the soul group.     Namjoon and Jin are both absent at the moment, as in they are not engaged in the Soul Body. I was shown it as them being in "sleep mode". I don't really know why, but there was nothing there that made it seem like this is a bad thing.     What I am doing: I was given instructions on how this needs to go:

Direct the energy. 

Figure the path. 

Realign independent structures.

Those are the main things. The realigning of independent structures is what will take me the longest to do. This means balancing each and every line combination between all 7 energy centers. We are also going to "flood" the lines with Water. It's a cleansing process, but I think it is also going to "cool down" or lower the Fire energy that is being poured into them. (They are not supposed to carry Fire energy, the whole point of Jimin and Jin's position is to stabilize and weaken the high vibrational, white-hot energy that the Rap Line triad creates through their weird little system of transmitting, translating, and transmuting thing they do.)       

I will then go through the same Chakra alignment process that will be listed below and raise my personal vibration, except I will follow that up by anchoring in the energy that you have sent out to the Moon. I always use the Moon as a sort of focal point for group work. It's literally a satellite, so once you send something up, we'll be able to tap into it and use it. I'll pull that down and go through the process of pushing that energy through the lowest access point, which is where the low-vibe energy is right now between Kook and Taehyung and basically flood it out. Then every single line will be washed out. I will take as much time as possible with this to be sure that everything is out.

Once the lines are clear and I'm at the "head" of the body (Namjoon) I will pull down the EXTREMELY high-frequency vibrations from the line that extends past Namjoon's placement to... you know... where they come from, I guess? I will pull that down through each of the energy centers and charge the lines. This is the energy that the low-vibes literally cannot touch, this is what is supposed to be in the lines, to begin with.

I will then spend as much time as I need to in order to make sure that that energy is in every line and every energy center. After that, I will continue to pull it down into the Soul Body until it extends past the outer layer of the Soul Body. Their Guide's will use this excess energy to repair the net that they had cast around them to keep shit like this from happening in the first place. 

From there I will finish off with making sure Hoseok's energy center is put back in its rightful place and that Taehyung and Kook's energy fields match up the way they are meant to so that neither is overpowering the other in any way. I'll make sure Jin and Namjoon are out of sleep mode too, I guess, lol.    

I'll be closing out of this by putting curtains or a blockade around the opening at the feet of the Soul Body so that nothing can get in, but what needs to come out can still come out.

@lunar-lepus will be doing this as well. I kindly ask that you guys don't direct your energy into the Soul Map. We have visuals and are using the map as it is meant to be used and would appreciate no interference in that. All we need from you is any of the contributions from this list below.

These are what you guys can do to help —  I've listed them in order of time constraint and capability. Please do not feel the need to do more than what you are capable of or more than you know you are able to. Again, these can be done any time before August 16th, 2018 5:30AM EST —  this is when I will take down my energy lines and will no longer be acting as a channel to the BTS Soul Body.     All of these engage your Heart Chakra, be mindful of that.     Love BTS —  everyone should do this.

Engage your Heart Chakra and literally just watch crack videos or listen to their music. Do something that lets them bring you happiness, and with that joy (high vibration), send some of it out to them specifically with the intention of returning the favor in a way. Just send them some of the good vibes they give you.

Lend your energy

Simply declare out loud or by writing it down on a piece of paper that you would like to lend some of your energy to this energy work. Declare it with the intention of contributing to the healing, realigning, and balancing of the Soul Body. Visualize it in your head as a little ball of pink, white, or gold energy coming from the middle of your chest. Say again that you want to lend your energy and see it shoot up into the sky or something like that. Your Guides will take care of the actual delivery.

Engage in personal alignment and energy work

This is the chakra alignment process that I will be doing and you can do this as well if you have the experience, capability, and the time. Take your time with all of these if you choose to do it.

1) Draw in energy from the Earth's Core into the lower 3 Chakras (root, sacral plexus, and solar plexus). Stabilize.

2) Pull down energy from Source into the upper 3 Chakras (crown, third eye, and throat). Charge.

3) Merge these two energies in the Heart Chakra in your chest. Let them spin together in a clockwise motion. Focus on the joy that BTS has brought you and the joy you would like for them to experience. If you are not a BTS fan and you are joining in with this, just focus on what makes you happy and the kind of happiness you would like to spread to other people. Let this fill your chest. Breathe into it. Let it heal you. If you start to cry, or laugh, or even feel sexually stimulated in some way, don't freak out, that's extremely normal when you activate and align the Heart Chakra.

4) When you feel like your vibrations are high and you feel good about extending it out. Send out a line of energy from your chest, your Heart Chakra, and direct it towards the Moon. Again, it will be anchored there for me to use, trust in that. You can let it merge with the other high vibrational energies that you may meet there.

5) Allow yourself to relax when you are finished. Lay down and breathe. You might need to ground after this, so take your time with that. If it helps, go outside and look at the sky, and if you are able to, walk on the grass/dirt with bare feet, this will pull any excess energy that is lingering outside the body to be pulled back in.

Here is an image to help you visualize a little better:

I will do an update around the end of August for sure when this is all said and done, but this will need time to settle in.

[softgrungeprophet]

reading about sonic frequencies and thinking about my approach to this fanfiction which was simply supposed to be a crackship (idk if i would even call it that tbh) homoerotic fic but now features Worldbuilding and Space Suits

i gotta assume the reason, even though obviously the comics never state it, that symbiotes are affected by ultrasound is less because of ear-hurty (they don’t have ears) and more because of cavitation and the actual physical (mechanical?) affects of sound waves. like being dissolved, vibrated to a million pieces of yourself or whatever.

a thousand mantis shrimp punches inside your gooey body

anyway apparently beside ultrasonic cleaning (my jewelry class had an ultrasonic cleaner, i think. it was odd.) there is also megasonic cleaning, in the megahertz instead of the kilohertz... but

okay so i figured, higher frequency = worse right? but this is something i didn’t think about, which is that megasonic cleaning is actually used for things that would be damaged by ultrasonic cleaning because the higher frequency (more and smaller waves) means a more controlled set of much finer cavitation bubbles instead of the larger less consistent ones. like the different between  hail and snow. i guess.

so now i’m wondering about that.

are symbiotes affected by megasound? gigasound? or is it like a gentle tickle to them (in lower decibels) compared to the more irritating frequencies of ultrasound.

i always thought of it as like, they feel in the ultrasonic range for purposes of communication and navigation, that and radio--i just really like the idea of symbiotes having some kind of cell in their amorphous bodies that allows them to use radio emissions to navigate. anyway the idea i like is that they feel these frequencies but that the higher and louder they become the more painful they become. which like. is not unlike how higher pitched sounds are perceived as more painful more quickly than lower pitched sounds in our own hearing range. the piercing shrillness and the way it interacts with the hairs in your ears and blah blah blah

i find that interesting

but i do wonder if there is or could be a threshold where you reach further and further toward 200khz but then it sort of stops growing and plateaus into a frequency which is suddenly (... ok probably gradually) “inaudible” to the symbiote not unlike how humans have a range in the ~20hz to 20kz (give or take), but instead ranging from 20khz to 200kz... but sounds in the 20hz and higher can still cause discomfort for humans afaik, even though we can’t hear them. especially obviously at higher decibels when the vibrations become strong enough to damage and heat--i didn’t realize that was a thing. that ultrasound at high enough decibels emits heat. maybe THAT’s what the symbiotes don’t like, you know? it’s too loud, so it’s too hot. but no i do like the idea that it’s more about the discomfort of essentially being vibrated apart. heat would just be another fun element. it would be interesting to see the comics have villains utilizing highly directly high-decibel, high-frequency sound cannons which emit loud enough ultrasound to also emit heat. or is it even heat emission? is it more like the place the wave impacts becomes heated.

i’m sure that would violate the geneva convention or something, but frankly that is true of so much shit in the 616 marvel universe. so many fucked up ethics laws and almost definitely war crimes, against mutants and superhumans and aliens and honestly i don’t doubt marvel’s FBI, SHIELD, ARMY, so on probably experiment on and torture completely boring humans as well. I mean. if OUR government and military do shit like that imagine what the government and military of a world so seemingly lax about human (and mutant and alien) rights would do even to unpowered, mundane homo sapiens.

all of this is probably nonsense, as far as the physics of sound go. i also just really don’t fully understand the physics of most things lmfao

i know sound is physical waves. that it’s not the same as radiation, necessarily. (though maybe it has the potential to be?) that it’s stopped or slowed by physical barriers and moves around them. ultrasonic pest controllers have shadows of silence where they can’t penetrate furniture, or so on. like the ocean breaking around rocks?

and sound frequencies go so far, i guess beyond sound in a lot of ways?

so now i’m wondering if there are any alien species out there (in fiction, or irl i guess, who knows) who can hear in the terahertz and thus hear the sound of light.

anyway my original plan was for flash to be on this planet that is fraught with ultrasonic frequencies (with the symbiote tucked safely into a canister) (i know, i know lmfao) but then i was like, wait would that have negative effects on flash as a human even though he can’t hear the frequencies, and then i was looking up whether spacesuit helmets are soundproof (it seems like they are not but i’m still not really sure lol) and then i was looking up ultrasonic shielding and then i found a blog about “Targeted Individuals,” which, maybe i am judgmental, but it was strange to behold TBH

i’m also realizing though that if the symbiote has a special fireproof soundproof sealed safety canister flash could probably have a helmet with ultrasonic shielding and also, i can just handwave it anyway, but honestly half of the enjoyment i get from writing sci-fi and shit is just googling random useless crap i will never fully understand

it took me like six months to realize why my planets in space engine were never where i wanted them to be relative to the sun and it’s cause fucking. mass determines orbital distance. fucking duh. but i was just like?? be 5 AUs away motherfucker. cause sometimes... you gotta be a little stupid. and sometimes you’ll read a bunch of articles and posts and never really get it.

[lost-your-memory]

100 questions

So I was tagged by @writerinthedarkabyss so here’s my take at this. 1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Nope

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

I’m not sure I’m there yet but I will forgive them, eventually.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

My six cats, wanting food

4: What’s something you really want right now?

Peace of mind would be nice

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Not afraid no, but certainly not looking forward too. It’s a mess.

6: Do you like the beach?

It’s a tricky question. I love the sea and the ocean but I don’t like sand beaches. I’m all for cliffs with nice edges. 

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yeah, in every meaning of the term.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

A Supercorp picture, I changed my theme recently and I haven’t find a nice Supercat one yet.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, my sister’s, my grand mother’s and an hotel’s one.

10: Do you like your phone?

HELL YEAH, I bought it for the camera and it’s LIT.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Ah. No.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

Probably the one of a Tumblr buddy, to chat on Whatsapp

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Rottweiler. I don’t like tiny yappy dog.

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain. I am pretty insensitive when it comes to physical pain and it doesn’t last. Emotional pain leaves invisible scars that never heals. 

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Both is good but it depends of what kind of museum, to be honest.

16: Are you tired?

I just woke up but it’s going to be a long day ...

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

Forever.

18: Are they a relative?

Yeah, it’s my mother. She’s my savior.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

Been there, done that, never again.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

A few weeks ago but it was a bet and it didn’t mean anything, we just laughed.

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Nope. I don’t believe in marriage and anywa, if I’m happy without, then no.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I wouldn’t mind, since it was a bet. She’s a great kisser.

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

Just my watch, if it counts.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“Ne prenez pas la vie au sérieux ; de toute façon, vous n'en sortirez pas vivant.” - Bernard Fontenelle (Roughly translated into English : Don’t take like too seriously, you won’t get out alive no matter what)

25: What’s on your mind?

Domestical chores, Supercat prompts, a thesis I need to finish and thoughts about getting a job.

26: Do you have any tattoos?

None.

27: What is your favorite color?

Navy blue

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Whenever it happens, I guess

29: Who are you texting?

I’m not texting at the moment but I’m part of a supercat groupchat and they are all awesome.

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Uh ... I think so? Either a couch or the floor next to one.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Story of my life.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

I do.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I have literally NO IDEA.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yeah, it happens on a regular basis. I don’t know why, my eyes are pretty much ordinary.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would totally cheer. 

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yeah

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Friend is a big word but yeah we get along.

38: What do your friends call you?

Gane.

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

UGH. PEOPLE. 

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Uh ... Maybe, but if I did it was good tears. 

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

Around my left knee.

42: What is it from?

I bumped into the side of a door. It hurts.

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Two months ago I think, when I went through something of a depression.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My sister, I was telling her where to wait so I could pick her up.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yes, an old pair of All Stars blue Converses that I have for like 8 years now.

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

I only wear a hat in summer, to protect my head from the sun.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Buh. No idea. Probably not?

48: Do you make supper for your family?

I can’t really be trusted in a kitchen, aside for making desserts or breakfast.

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

What kind of question is that. Yeah.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, AO3 and probably Deezer or Google Doc at the moment.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Myself. Unless it’s for books or video games. 

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

I have a sore leg and backpain but it’s nothing abnormal for me.

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Nah. It usually means I’m going to enjoy coming back.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Uh ... Water, I think? Or orange juice maybe.

55: How is your hair?

Clear brown, with lighter strands here and there. Not long but not pixie short either. 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Groan. Check my phone. Groan again. Force myself to get up and then have breakfast.

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

I don’t, not in this world anyway.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was 16 ... Probably not, then.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Both is good.

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

I a few weeks maybe, when I will see my grandma again.

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Nah I like where I am but I wouldn’t mind being traveling the world. 

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Probably this afternoon, going to pick up the sister again.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

In front of my computer, writing or pretending to do so.

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Having breakfast with my mother.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yeah. I wasn’t single then.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

If cats count, then yes. If not, probably my mother.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Not yet but it’s still early.

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I was honored and excited about an upcoming collaboration.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yep, story of my life.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

Right now, 8 but it’s because I’m doing research.

71: How many fingers do you have?

I don’t care what they say, thumbs are fingers so 10.

72: What is your ringtone?

My phone is on vibrate mode all the time.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 25, on the verge of turning 26.

74: Where is your Mum right now?

Downstairs, getting started with the chores. 

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Because life happened. She’s still around as a dear friend tho.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Oof, yeah.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Unfortunately no. Well, some of them are still around but the most important ones left. 

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

... IRL crush, yeah. Virtual crushes, like too many to remember no.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Nope.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes but I usually do the spooning. 

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Four or five, something like that.

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Yes and two people actually tried to steal mine. 

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

... Uh ... I don’t know.

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

My friends or my sister and her boyfriend, they are the party people around.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

I would care and I would try to help until I’m forced to remove myself from the picture. It happened and well, it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. You have to.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I was with a kid and she was scared so she climbed onto my lap and cuddled with me. It was sweet. 

87: Who was your last received call from?

My mom, to tell me to get downstairs. She is downstairs.

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

This is sick and no.

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Hum. Wisdom.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Yeah.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Hell no, not even in summer, mosquitos are MEAN.

92: Do you get along with girls?

Oh gosh. 

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Nope, not anymore.

94: Does sex mean love?

That’s hilarious. No.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

... Again, no, since it was a bet and I actually like the girl.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No.

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

If cats count, then no but if not, yeah I slept alone.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yeah, cats and books and musics and sometimes, just looking by the windows can cheer me up.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

No.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promised?

What am I, 5? Alright, that was looong and hard. I’m tagging @catherinegrant, @2009121723 and @lenaluthhor and of course anyone else who want to play ♥