#i am peeved

[running-man-animation-miscellany]

Not gonna name anyone but some of you guys need to stop crosstagging if the media you're putting has NOTHING to do with the post because why am I seeing Ninjago and TMNT content in the RMA tag

[mitchmrner]

our team is really:

superstar - superstar - superstar - superstar - my like 4 emotional support players - sammy

and then a bunch of plumbers

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I Wish Those Who Are Anti-Nonbinary Would Please Shut The Heck Up...Because They Are Offending This Enbirl...

[Note: This Might Talk A Little Bit Of Religious Talk, So If You Don’t Want To Read Those Parts, Feel Free To Skip....Also Reading This Is Optional, It’s just some jerk had really peeved me off when I saw their video....

also it’s okay if some ignore this post, this is....I just really needed to get some feelings out, and it’s okay that some ignore this post...and maybe wait until I post maybe a theory post about either a video game or show or movie or book series.

also, Don’t Reblog This Without Permission]    

of course even after finding out about a certain man who is obviously Anti-LGBTQ, I of course have to end up finding out about a video that once again, talks about “woke”....you know what would be so “woke” if people like that, would shut the heck up....

if anyone is “indoctrinating” it’s dirty shisno like that disgusting inhuman filth of a man who I had found out about who I’m still not going to say the name of, and is a different person from the one who was talking in a video that got me really REALLY mad..........

but yeah, the video that got me really mad, has to do with someone talking about how the new transformers movie is and about earthspark is.

I just can’t stand that person who made that video, plus it should be a child’s choice and own discovery if they are nonbinary or not, and no one on either side should decide that for them, and not be told they shouldn’t be if that is how they feel on the inside, and so stop using “woke” in a toxic way, cause that is what some humans are doing...

and FYI, there can be some cases when even assigned gendering can be misgendering, because there are different types of Intersex.

I’m not really 100% sure if I’m Intersex or not, but I have my reasons as to suspect I might be, but right now I’m not sure anymore.

I mean I know that biologically, I’m female....but one of the reasons why I suspect that I might be intersex, was because one time, I had a really dangerous time of the month, and well that is only half the reason I suspect it.

plus something I had read about one of the types of Intersex, made me wonder if I might be that type I had read about, but right now I’m not really sure.

I mean it would be nice if there was a home blood test that can tell you if your Intersex or not, and I don’t think I can talk to my family about it.

I mean it’s good that they have the home blood test that tells you what blood type you are, and once again I’m still procrastinating in the whole checking to see if my blood type comes out O RH D Negative for a third time...

I will try to get around to it when I am able to.

another thing I can’t tell my family, besides suspecting that I might be Intersex, but I’m still not 100% sure if that is true or not....

is that one, I can’t tell them I am Aroaceflux, I know I’m Fictoromantic as well.

I know that I didn’t start out as Aromantic or Aromantic flux, at least I don’t think I have....

I know I had bad luck with online boyfriends, and I have no interest in trying to get another boyfriend, because it’s like even if you do get lucky to talk about some of your feelings to them, and they will listen.

but unlucky for you if you end up talking about your feelings to them, and they end up ignoring it, I mean ya could just say ya don’t want to listen to it right now...

I mean whats the point of falling love if your just going to end up falling for the wrong person who either wont try to listen to you when you feel a little or a lot down...

oh and if it isn’t that, some are bit too h*rny and might not understand you might not be in the mood or don’t want to be touched right now.

and of course some humans put the whole needing to “do it” as something that is more important, well excuse me if my Ace is more dominate at the moment...

do not touch, do not pass go, do not collect 200 hearts.

this heart is on the lockdown, so baby, I got my love lockdown. XP

of course that has nothing to do with Lockdown from Transformers Animated...

but I guess I did kind of reference the song “Love Lockdown” by Kanye West.

of course the whole “love lockdown” isn’t 100% how the lyrics go...

it’s “your love locked down”, wonder what would be like if Lockdown from TFA heard that song...?

of course certain two men are not the only ones that really peeved me off with their toxic stupidity, that have of course crossed the line...

even a third man has peeved me off...

guess that makes those men, this Earth Angel Princess’s enemies.

[feel free to skip the part where it goes back to talking about the jerks who seem to have a problem with nonbinary....it will be in bold.]  

yeah “Earth Angel Princess” isn’t a official thing, but with the whole weird thought pop into my head, because of the whole one, finding out I’m a Defective Earth Angel, who once again doesn’t work 100% correctly like other Earth Angels....and two, I had found out about the whole being a descendant of a few royal families, and that I’m a descendant of King David, as well as King Solomon and Rehoboam.

which once again, not a curse, cause to me it is a blessing, cause I ain’t touching that throne. 

another reason I know I can’t, is because of the whole Cain being my ancestor as well, so that might be a blessing in disguise, but I’m also a descendant of Seth as well...

and yeah, I do have trust issues now that has to do with Masculine Angels, both Fallen and Non-Fallen....and I can’t help but think I might only be able to trust some Masculine Angels.

I don’t trust the three angels that were suppose to get Lilith to return to Adam.

some info says that they shouldn’t force her to return against her will, while another info says to force her if she isn’t willing to go back to him.

and trying to force her to return to Adam, against her will and even the possibility of threat, isn’t right.

Lilith could of gotten emotionally and spiritually better, but the harassment wasn’t helping, perhaps they could of worked things out and talked about their feelings, but with how immature Adam was during his youth, it is unlikely he would of listen or understood what was wrong with their relationship.

if it is true that Adam did mature during his marriage with Eve, that is good.

but it still doesn’t excuse him for how he treated Lilith, he is half the reason she fell, and in theory, I still it might be possible she was a Earth Angel.

and it could be possible that she might of had a childhood before she became Adam’s wife, and she was that girl called “Onya” in a book I have that talks about “Confessions Of A Rebel Angel” by Timothy Wyllie.

another theory I have, is that she might have some form of amnesia.

that she had forgot the bond she had formed with some really big birds, I think they were called fonders or founders...?

not everyone has to agree with me on that theory, but it could still be possible.

just try to respect my different point of view, and why I don’t really trust all Masculine Angels now....even if I might able to trust a few, but that doesn’t mean I will trust all of them....

to put it in another way, I can say that I don’t trust all “Male Angels”....

I know that there are some guys that can be trusted in this world, and same can be said for some gals, but I just hope some can understand why I don’t feel like I can fully trust Masculine Angels anymore.

even if there can be a few I can trust, who would be the acceptation.

I might not agree with what Cain had did to his brother, but I believe now that both brothers were in the wrong.

and if it is true that Adam did try to stop Abel from the kind of offering and sacrifice he was doing, then that might of one of the times that Adam had tried to do something good and had matured.

because once again, his time being married to Lilith, he was very immature...

but even if Adam did try to reason with Abel, it might be true that Abel didn’t want to listen and he believed he was doing a good thing and pleasing the Heavenly Father, but really he wasn’t....

it also doesn’t help that Cain was going through a very bad depression, while it might be true he could of been jealous, but there is more to it than just that.

I can’t help but want to give Cain a hug now, but if he doesn’t want a hug from me, that I can understand....

but besides the fact I think he needs a hug, I think he might need therapy as well....

and Abel’s Toxic-Positivity and Ego, was perhaps half the reason it was becoming worse, and even if no one has to agree with me on this...

but it is still possible.

what Cain did to Abel was still wrong, but it isn’t just him who is at fault.

plus there is still a possibly, that Abel might of ended up doing far worse in the future, with his offerings.

and that thought had just came to me this year, even if there could be a good chance it might not happen, like the possibility that he could of tried to, but is stop in time by either Cain or his father, Adam....

Abel isn’t fully innocent himself, and it’s high time we admit to that because of the facts, yes he was good in a way, but I believe now he was in the gray.

some people can have their own dark side, either in a small way or a very bad way...and yes, that would mean Abel as well.

both Cain and Abel aren’t truly innocent, they both have did wrong in their life.

and if Abel so much as tried to use any of my fluffy babies in his “offerings”...

I would probably of punched him in his face....or punched him in the groin.

even if I never done that before, and once again, the first guy I had thoughts of wanting to punch in the groin, was Mammon...

and that was because of the price on the coca-cola was raised, but it is back to normal I think.....and well because the price was raised before.

I had the thoughts of wanting to punch Mammon in the groin....

even if I know it’s impossible....and even if I know I wont be able to...

I should make a list on some jerky guys who I wish I could groin punch...

I can think of three guys so far I want to groin punch, and of course the fourth being Mammon...

don’t care if he is the embodiment of greed, his butt his mine....>:(

but not in the same way Moxxie’s Butt is Millie’s....

that was one of the best scenes in that Helluva Boss episode, lol XD  

of course the show is for a mature audience only, as in 18+....

at least I know that it isn’t a man on Tv’s fault that I said the son of a b**** word when I was just a baby.......I think it was close to being a toddler.

yeah, surprisingly I did say that word when I was a baby.

but when that happens, parents shouldn’t scapegoat the show or movie that has a character who say that, because it’s the parents responsibility, not the ones who made a movie or show that is for a mature audience only, and the parents or guardians should be watching the child and making sure they don’t hear or see something they shouldn’t until they are the proper age.

and yeah, I had figured out there were some things I was early exposed to, but lucky not the really heavy stuff....

was because of my family, who of course should of told me “No” you can’t see that until your maybe 15 or 16 years old...

I like the Cool World Movie, I mean I do have the DVD now, and I can watch it once in a while.

but I had figured out that I shouldn’t of watched it back when we had first rented at this old video place.

because I wasn’t the proper age for it, and I can’t remember much during that time, but I guess maybe my eyes were covered in some parts....?

I’m not sure....but I know that it isn’t the movie’s fault.

parents should try to not scapegoat, or say “they are trying to corrupt our children” or keep using the whole “woke” word in a toxic way.

there are some shows, movies, video games and books that will be for everyone, and some that wont be for everyone, and will only be for a mature audience, and it will NOT BE FOR KIDS.

plus you can’t force a child to think what you think...

the choice of if they are nonbinary or not (and by the way it isn’t really a choice that you just decide, but it’s a feeling and well toxic-humans should stop saying it is trying to be forced, when the choice of it isn’t really just you decide, but the feeling that is deep inside your very core of your being...I’m not sure if many will truly get what I’m saying...I don’t want my words to be misinterpreted), or if they end up being heteroromantic in the future, that is something that they would have to figure out themselves, and both sides can’t try to make them choose.

even some parents have more sense than that.

I mean if you have two Dads, but you might be Heteroromantic & Ace, you might need a little encouragement to come out to them about it.

and even if you have two Moms, but you might be Aroace, but also need some encouragement to come out to them, because you had heard about how some people on both sides feel about Aroace....and none of it was very positive.

or if you have a Mom and Dad, and you don’t know how to come out of the closet, like either it be if your bi, pan or queer.

or maybe even ace or aroace or aroaceflux.

not everyone can come out of the different closets we put our self in.

I am in different closets, I’m in the Aroaceflux Closet, The New Religious Belief Closet and the Nonbinary Closet....and that is with my family.

like I said before, I wanted to tell my Mom about me being Asexual Flux.

but I had to change my mind and act like the talk wasn’t about me, and once I got back to my room, I ended up crying in heart break...

I wanted to get the thoughts of my family first, before I came out as Aceflux.

but after getting their thoughts, which seems just like some of the straight and some of the LGBT who seem to think some Aces are all straight or all gay...

(an it being that some percent of those in LGBT who think all Aces are all straight, while there is some percent of straight people who think all Aces are gay, and some people but not all of them from both sides, have a problem with Aces........at least not all of them have a problem with Aces and don’t misinterpret...like assuming their romantic identity for one.)    

I had decided it was best not to come out to my family about being Aceflux.

I can’t even tell them that I had figured out that I had been picking up s*xual and lustful energy, and I think my wearing my gem bracelets has helped with that.

it’s like, for some reason, out of the blue, you start to feel “in heat”...

and I don’t think many have had that kind of problem, no matter what their sexuality or asexuality is.....so far I’m the only one who is both Aroaceflux and had figured out that I am that kind of empath, or was that type of empath...

is it possible to build up a immunity to it once you get the right gems to protect you from it, but might still need to be careful of that type of energy...?

and yes I still have my V-Card, and I still think some people get some things wrong about that kind of empath ability, that you have to “do it” in order for it to happen....

but you can be in a different room and still pick it up, and not know it.

that is until you figure out that half the time you were feeling that way, it was because you were picking up that energy that was flying around the house and was coming from someone....

and one of the other worse things, is that you can get misdiagnosed by doctors, who don’t know the type of seizure you really have.                

I still believe that the doctors who first gave me some medicine for my seizures, might of had misdiagnosed me, even if some might think that isn’t true.

but I believe it could be true, because I believe that my seizures was because of energies, from both people and a place.

I think it could be possible at first, you might not be able to fight back those outside energies, especially when your a baby...

my first seizure happen when I was a baby, I think I was told I was almost a year old during that time.

plus besides the whole place having some bad stuff in it, that could of been the cause of half of my seizures.

if the energy of a person is what had caused them half the time, then there might be a reason....

even if you are in a very big room with a lot of people in it, it is possible that even that can be dangerous if you let your guard down, at least letting it down without knowing about it.

because all of that energy that flies around the room, will end up being absorbed into your body, just like any of the other times that has happen.

and your body will go through a energy overload and it will come out as a seizure.

not all seizures are like that, there will be some that aren’t energy based.

and there can become some seizures that will need those pill medicines.

but some doctors might not understand that not all seizures can be helped with that kind of medicine, and it might only end up making the person’s body become addicted, and if you try to get them off of it, they are likely to go through withdrawal.

but that might could happen even if you are truly meant to take the medicine.

I think I should take a piece of paper, and write down the names of the men that I wish I could groin punch, because of their stereotyping, their crossing the line and even their problem with nonbinary.

okay I have decided, I am going to do that....

even if it might not be possible, one can only dream.

I think because Mammon The Embodiment of Greed, was the first guy I ever had thoughts about punching in the groin, he will be at the top of the list...

of course him being on tat list, will be different than the other three.

but the list might grow from just being the four of them.

also even if one of the tags for this, is “humans suck” I should point out, it is only the Toxic-Humans I find to be that way.....so yeah, only toxic-humans suck.

once again, I know it wouldn’t be possible and I know I might not bring myself to physically do it....but I can still make the list that has the names of the jerks that I wish I could groin punch.

and Mammon will still be at the top of the list....but for different reasons from the other three.

I just couldn’t help but feel really mad when I found that video, I mean I was trying to find some more info about the new Transformers Movie, but then I found that video that of course ended up triggering me and ended up making me peeved off, and not in the same way that guy was, but I was peeved at the guy who seem to be one of those people....

and it might be possible some people might give some who are descendants of Cain, a complex....I don’t know, I mean that could be possible.

I already know about certain info about it....

I already know that I was a accident, I mean I know my parents in this life, had me on purpose, but as for....you know, my soul-parents...I know I was there little accident, man I don’t know why but just now I started to cry a little when thinking and talking about that....but it isn’t like it isn’t true.

and yeah as weird as it might sound, I view myself as Cain and Seth’s little accident as well, and I guess I shouldn’t think like that.

but then there is that whole “well Cain is the son of Samael or the Devil”

and how do you think that makes me freaking feel...?

cause ya if it is true, I already know what it means....

no one has to tell me that, and if it is true, and it isn’t just something that some toxic-priests made up, that would possibly mean that I was Archangel Samael’s little accident as well, his little mistake....

don’t know how many Cain Descendants there are, that are a mix of being both his and Seth’s descendants, but maybe not all of them were little accidents.

maybe the reason why I started to cry a little, when talking about it, might because it is true and I know it.

I know that the video that seem to scapegoat and talk some bull, that had got me really peeved, didn’t make me cry, it only made me really mad.

I guess we all have Daddy Issues, but I know that Samael isn’t the boss of me.

and if my ethereal wings color has anything to go by, it would mean that technically Archangel Zadkiel and Archeia Amethystia/Holy Amethyst, would be the boss of me....I mean, if depending the color of ethereal wings your soul is born with, you will be placed with one of the different angels that are in charge of the different color flames or whatever...

I know I can’t see my ethereal wings, all I know is that when I get really mad, they apparently go into flame mode, and when I’m upset or nervous, they hug around me....which apparently is a habit, and for all I know, might of even happen when I was really little, maybe even when I was a baby, of course I’m not sure if it happen when I was a baby...

I think I am feeling a bit better now, so I’m no longer crying....

but for some reason, I did start to cry when letting all that out, you know, saying that I was Cain and Seth’s little accident.

and I know that it is possible, even if I do point out that while I still can believe in Jesus, but don’t think he should cross certain lines....like if certain info I read that has to do with him turns out to be true, and if it is...

it really doesn’t really help my view on Masculine Angels.

and yeah there is that whole if he did cross those lines, and if the Antichrist tries to pull that whole Antichrist shenanigans.

there is those new thoughts that had started to pop into my head, of wanting to grab those two by their ears....even if I know I might not be allowed to do so, and they are just thoughts....and I would probably have to ask permission to do so....

it’s like, you can think it, but you can’t really do it.

and some of the info I had read before that has to do with those two, and how I realized how the masculine energy has been in a toxic way for some time, and I guess it is getting a bit better, but the toxic energy might still be there, and yeah we got the toxic feminine energy to deal with too, but lucky it isn’t as high as the masculine one...

and I guess how some of those three jerks who I’m still going to put on the list of those I wish I could groin punch, but know I really can’t....

might be injected by toxic-masculine energy...

I wouldn’t be surprised if the one who was talking that bull about the new Transformers Movie, is one of those Toxic-Religious people.

it’s good to be religious, but you got to watch out for toxic-religious types.

there are different types of toxic-religious, and some of them being the type that don’t freaking listen to you when you try to tell them that they are hurting your feelings when they keep throwing the whole “may the lord have mercy on you” or “may god have mercy on you”, just because you believe in a Goddess now too, and yeah I had figured out that the toxic-religious jerk that did that to me, was misusing those words, and even if they thought they were “helping”, they were doing more harm than good and were making me feel really bad.

I can only hope I don’t run into them here or any of the other places I go to.

I had to block that person, because they wouldn’t freaking listen to me when I pointed out how their throwing those words at me, were hurting my feelings and making me feel bad.

if someone has to use those words, don’t misuse it and actually listen when someone tells you that you are making them feel bad and cry.

and I don’t see the problem with me believing in both Divine Parents (Heavenly Father & Earthly Mother), but apparently that toxic-religious person is all about the patriarchy...

I think what happen can count as toxic-religious trauma. 

and some people can have different toxic-religious traumas, and some being from bad experiences that come from past lives as well.

and excuse me, but those jerks who seem to have a problem with nonbinary, they are the ones who can’t indoctrinate me....

and I suppose that it is the stupidity of those three men that had really peeved me off, well that and the fact that one of them had crossed a line they shouldn’t of, that is even more stupid and gross than one of them that had pointed out their problem with nonbinary....

after I post this, I’m going to get a piece of paper, and right down the names of those three jerks, that I wish I could groin punch...

I am still not going to say their names, but I’m still gonna put Mammon at the top of the list, but him being on that list for a different reason than those three.

one guy had bad mouthed nonbinary and was talked bull slag, the other seems to have a very dangerous line with his Anti-LGBT ways, and the last one who seems to have a problem with his child being transgender.

so yeah, those three are going on the list, along with Mammon....

even if I know it isn’t possible for me to really punch them in the groin, but it is like a wish I could but I know I can’t type of list.

like I said, it’s like you wish you could and you feel like you want to, but you know you can’t and might not be able to bring yourself to do it...

but then again, I suppose if I got really REALLY super peeved off, and if it were possible....I would so punch Mammon in the groin.

I think it is possible that not many will end up reading this, I mean I did say it is optional and that some parts can be skip.

and I know some of this was a bit off topic, and there was a reason I had to put down that if some want to skip some parts, they should look for the bold letters.

I don’t want to say the names of those three men that had peeved me off.

but they are still going on the list, which once again I will make after I post this.

I will have it say “Those I Wish I Could Punch In The Groin”

and then place their names on the paper....of course Mammon will be at the top of the list....so I’m going to write his name first before writing the other three’s names...

I don’t want to say which video is called that had ended up well, triggering me.

it’s better this way, because of certain reasons.

maybe before I make that list, I can check out a few art on here, and then go watch some RWBY, I was able to watch all the episodes of Volume 9, and I loved it and I hope it comes on DVD and Blu-Ray soon...

it was thanks to my family I was finally about to get Red Vs Blue Season 15, which lucky wasn’t on bid or only sold from Australia.

it would of been nice if I could of got the ones that weren’t on bid over at Australia, but it just wasn’t possible, but at least we were able to get the Season 15 that was being sold somewhere around the U.S.A...

it felt like I was never going to get that season, or I was going to wait a lot longer to get it...

and I’m not going to repeat all that the guy who peeved me off, had said in his video....the best I can do is to just let a little feelings out, and just hope that he and those like him, will not ruin the new transformers movie or earthspark for me or anyone else....because if they try to, I and others are just gonna be peeved.

anyway even if this does talk about other stuff too, even some stuff that did end up making me cry, but once again I am okay now, I do feel better.

it is kind of stupid how some humans on this planet seem to have a problem with those who are nonbinary, I mean there will be a chance that you wont be reborn as the bio-gender you are now, and you are likely to be reborn as the opposite from what you are currently.

I’m going to hope that I never get reborn as a boy....I just wouldn’t feel comfortable, I don’t mind that my body is bio-female, and I still am not sure if I am Intersex or not, and once again, the info on one of the types of intersex, had made me suspect that I might be that, but I’m not 100% sure...

but I rather not be reborn as a boy, cause I don’t think I would be comfortable in that type of body, cause it’s like it wouldn’t be me, it wouldn’t be my true self.

some can be comfortable either way when being reborn, but some might want to be reborn in the same type of body.

I don’t know if many get what I am trying to say and I don’t want my feelings or thoughts or what I’m trying to say be misunderstood.

but it’s like, while I am a Enbirl, I would still feel more comfortable not having a bio-male body, I guess some might understand while some might not get it.

and I have been thinking about praying that if I do end up being reborn again, like some distant future from now, is that I never get reborn as a boy....and only get reborn as biologically a girl, even if I might end up being intersex, which I don’t mind that....but I’m still confused if I might be Intersex in this life.

I wonder if there might be some Cybertronians who are Intersex as well, I mean we know that Nightshade is Nonbinary, and they are a precious enby that needs to be protected.

it might make sense if there could be some Cybertronians that are Intersex, like there could be some stuff in a Mech and Femme that are unique to them.

I’m not sure if there will be Cybertronians who are Intersex in the canon, but there could be in the fanon, but as for the canon, I’m not sure if that would happen or not.

but they ended up having their first canon nonbinary cybertronian, so maybe anything is possible, even the whole possible Ruby Rose x Penny Polendina.

which once again, I believe the other reason Ruby was really upset, might have to do with how she is not able to form a romantic relationship with Penny, who I believe she might of had developed feelings for.

and I started to view the Ruby x Penny ship, as a Nonbinary Ship, I mean, in fan headcanon, Penny could be a Enbirl, and maybe Ruby could be a Enbirl as well.

but it could just be Penny who is a Enbirl, and even if Ruby was a Nonbinary-Girl, she might of not realized it yet.

the Curious Cat, would be the Nonbinary that only goes by They/Them.

while Penny, so far as we know, does go by She/Her pronouns, but that doesn’t make her any less Nonbinary (in my fan headcanon, I see her as a Nonbinary-Girl now...), as there are different types of Nonbinary.

some are Enby, Enboy and Enbirl....

and only some will only use They/Them, while others can use both They/Them and even He/Him or She/Her.

I’m not sure if Enby. Enboy and Enbirl will be even mention in Earthspark.

I wonder if that one guy who really peeved me off with their video, even knows about the different types of nonbinary, well it might be possible he doesn’t.

same goes for others who don’t know about that fact, but still have a problem with nonbinary.

I think I will wait until later to watch RWBY, I think I want to watch Earthspark first.

but before that, I’m going to check out some art on here first, and I will watch Earthspark, and maybe sign back on later and talk about theories about Sonic Prime, I do have a theory about it that I am writing that has to do with Eggman, but I will wait until later either today or maybe tomorrow to post it.

I also hope some understand why I became peeved at some men and one of them had crossed a more dangerous line than the other two.

but just because one of them had crossed a even bigger line than the one who seems to have a problem with their child being transgender and the other having a problem with nonbinary, doesn’t mean they aren’t still going to end up on that “those I wish to punch in the groin” list....

cause all three of them are still going on that list, even if I know it might not be possible to really do that to them, but a person can dream...

anyway it’s fine that not many read this, and I can only hope some understand some of the feelings and thoughts I wrote in this, even if it did get off topic and also talked about other stuff more than the jerk that talked bull slag in that video....which once again I’m not going to say what the name of the video is or the guy either.....cause once again, it’s better that way...

also it’s okay if some ignore the parts that has to do with what had made me cry when writing this post, it might be best to not think or talk about it right now.

anyway besides that guy who has a problem with nonbinary, I’m probably not the only one he ended up peeving off.

I can try not to think about what happen, and maybe I can take my mind off of it. but I am still going to write those three guys (as well as Mammon’s) names on a list....

and I can keep the list in a safe place, and whenever there is another toxic-person who ends up crossing a line that they shouldn’t, I can add them to the list.......then again, come to think of it, I can think of two more men who should be added to that list, but I will think that over....

I’m just going to relax, and check out a few more fan art on here, and then go watch Earthspark and then later RWBY...                                  

[thatofabeavers]

On one hand, I wanna write. On the other hand, I'm paralyzed by my inability to write 'correctly', and that leads to absolutely nothing getting done >:(

[must-be-mythtaken]

guess who has COVID!!!

[stripysockxx]

Yurifies your regretevator

[thewirewitch]

*clears throat*

THIS IMAGE IS AI GENERATED AS HECK.

And a reverse image search shows no source. Ain't that suspicious?

(Not even the geology tag is sacred anymore...)

Now I don't normally like reblogging stuff like this, but this post in particular struck a nerve.

^THAT is what the crystal caves look like.

And this!

(image taken by me)

Is what a selenite "tower" looks like. They're usually kinda small (mine's only about 3-4 inches) but I've seen a few larger ones for sale online (around 1-2 feet, usually sold as lamps). My guess is that the software OP used took reference from these selenite towers and not what actual giant selenite crystals look like.

ALSO those Mexican caves are not open to most visitors, and are VERY hot. No way could you have just an average tour group down there, and there's absolutely no way for sunlight to reach those crystals.

Also, the rocks and ceiling of the cave look way too smooth and oddly blended to be real.

Did You Know? The Cavernous Crystal Castles of Mexico!

Deep beneath the earth's surface in Mexico lie some of the most spectacular natural wonders - Naica Crystal Cave and Giant Crystal Cave! These caves boast giant selenite crystals, some reaching up to 36 feet tall and weighing over 55 tons! The crystals formed over millions of years as mineral-rich water seeped into the caves and slowly evaporated, leaving behind these breathtaking formations. #caves #crystalgrowth #selenite #naturalwonders @knowledge-first

[notherpuppet]

it's my pet peeve when someone comments something rude on artists' posts so it's an instant block for me :)

[alexanderoftirragen]

what is even the point of submitting a timesheet when every time i work extra in a week i have to REMIND THEM to pay me for it!

[hinamie]

completely innocuous vash sheet :) fr practice

[jtownraindancer]

In light of the recent Watcher debacle, a collection of some of my favourite YouTube comments, in no particular order:

And the one that made my entire day:

[circumlocutoryconlanger]

my favorite hobbies include:

yelling "shut the fuck up" at inanimate objects in a falsetto northern british english accent if they make unexpected or unwanted noises

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I Need Time To Relax And Cool Off...Going To Try Mediation.

[Note: do NOT Reblog Without Permission...and I mean it. please don’t.] 

I had to sign back in, to do some editing on one of the last posts I made....

I think I will wait until later tonight or tomorrow to sign back on to check out some art and other stuff on here....

I want to try to just do some reading, maybe to help keep my mind off of a certain thing that happen...

I just need to have time to myself to relax and try to feel less peeved off.

if I’m not on here tomorrow, it might mean I need a little more time to relax and cool down...

and have you ever felt at times, you don’t get any respect, like even when you clearly put a certain rule on the very top of the post, so those who don’t see it in the tags, don’t accidentally break it, now if it was by accident then you know they wouldn’t of meant for it to happen, and things can be worked out peacefully.

maybe I will feel more happy later tonight, but might still need time to be alone. 

I guess I am a bit more calmer since it had happen, but it doesn’t mean I’m still not happy with what I had found out...when I say do NOT reblog without permission, it be nice if that was fully respected, when it is said so on the VERY top of the post.

I wanted to talk to the one who made that mistake, but you know what, maybe there is no point in doing so right now, it might be best that I don’t right now.

I think I need time before I discuss the action they did when they reblog one of my posts without my permission.

also I want to point out, if the “do not reblog without permission” is purposely ignored, then that wouldn’t make me or anyone else happy who put that tag in a few posts for a reason....even if we might find some posts that we can allow to freely be reblog, so long as there is no rudeness in the reblog that might offend I or others who are the ones who had originally posted the work.

right now I wont do anything, and if I decide to let it go for right now, I might...

maybe it would be for the best that I let this one go for now, but give a warning.

the type of warning that I don’t want to have to resort to, and it starts with a “B”.

but maybe I don’t have to resort to blocking, maybe I just can only try to hope that it doesn’t happen again.

I can try to give them the benefit of the doubt, hope they do not do that again.

right now I will give them a chance, and hope things work out...

if I decide that I need a little more time to relax, I will take a little more time.

maybe I wont be back on here until maybe either the day after tomorrow or the day after that.

I just need to try to relax and try to take my mind off of what happen...

and once again, I will try to give them a chance and give them the benefit of the doubt....but I guess I am just tired.

I don’t think I feel up to talk to anyone right now...              

maybe I should just let it go for now, an hope it doesn’t happen again.

hopefully what I am reading at the moment, can help me feel some form of feeling better after what I had found out from one of the posts I had made before.

a part of me wants to talk to the person responsible for that reblog, but maybe I should just leave it be for now, and try to give them just one chance.

I’m still not happy that they seem to have ignored what I had wrote about not to reblog without my permission, but maybe I should try to hope they don’t pull that again and I will try to give them the benefit of the doubt...  

and if I’m feeling more better later tonight or even tomorrow, I might sign back on here later tonight or tomorrow....

maybe after reading, I will watch some episodes of my favorite shows and maybe watch a movie.....or maybe even go to sleep and hope to not wake up until the next day....though it is likely I would most likely just wake up a few hours later...

maybe I will sign back on tomorrow, I mean maybe I will feel much happier by that time, but I might decide not to post anything tomorrow even when I sign back on here to check out some art on here and I might wait a few days to post anything....and might have to post some plans on hold.

I guess we will see if I am fully okay by later tonight or tomorrow, if I sign on later tonight or maybe tomorrow.....but it might be possible I wont sign in later and might do so tomorrow.

maybe I can talk about my surprise when finding out the hospital I was born in, was a Catholic Hospital and it had Nuns in it.......seriously I had no freaking clue about that, and I had just found out...

and my family ain’t even Catholic, but I guess that doesn’t really matter.

still can’t tell my Mom about me being Aroaceflux (and I am Fictoromantic as well....), Nonbinary-Girl and That I am Neo-Spiritual and don’t really go by “Christian” anymore, even if I can still believe in God, and can believe in the good side to Jesus, but I believe in a Goddess now too....

then there is the thought of wanting to grab both Jesus and Antichrist by their ears if they do something that crosses a line....

and I am still gonna hope that Jesus is just a distant cousin, cause I know being his descendant had some bad info with it, and I already have to deal with being both Seth and Cain’s descendant, which since they are brothers....

that would kind of make them both Grandpas & Grunkles...

plus I still think it is more of a blessing to be King Solomon’s descendant, as well as his son Rehoboam.

so while I know it means that being a descendant of that line, I am not allowed to take that throne, but jokes on those who find that to be a curse....

it is more of a blessing now, because I rather not touch that throne....

and yeah then there is the whole who’s Cain’s “True Dad” is suppose to be....

and if it is true, well Cain’s “Dad” ain’t the boss of me....

no matter if he is “Grandpa” or not, I mean Adam is technically the Grandfather of half of humanity, but in theory there could of been more than just one Adam in the world.....he’s just the one who messed up with Lilith, and had those three Angels try to force her to return to him like she was not a person and was more of a property.

I can’t be the only one who finds something wrong with the info on how those Three Angels tried to force Lilith to return to Adam, like “No” wasn’t a answer they would accept....plus if it is true that Lilith ended up trying to harm new mother’s to be and even babies, unless they are protected in some way...

wouldn’t it mean those three angels were partly responsible....?

I wish I could slap Adam over the head....

like tell him he was being insensitive and it’s partly his and those three angels fault that Lilith fully fell....and yeah it might be possible that the reason why their stupid fight happen in the first place, because another angel had got into their heads and messed with them.

I can’t say that Lilith doing some wrong deeds later on, was the right choice.

but I can agree that she was treated badly, and those Three Masculine Angels are going to be part of the reason why I don’t fully trust all Masculine Angels.

and there could be only a few I could possibly trust...

some might not get it, but maybe some will understand....

at least the stupid Toxic-Feminine energy isn’t as high as the Toxic-Masculine energy....and the Toxic-Masculine energy is the way it is, because of the imbalance, and even if the good parts of the Masculine and Feminine energies are doing their best to be balanced, there is still that imbalanced....

I’m going to try meditation, ya know, just have my eyes closed while I listen to some music, like the songs by Agnes that are “Release Me.”

and “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.”

I can just lay my hands on my lap while I have my eyes closed and try to do well that version of meditation when listening to those songs, and maybe even some other songs as well.

and if it hasn’t been obvious, my whole blood type being “O RH D Negative”

and my reading up on the whole Grail Children, does make me hope that I’m NOT Jesus’s descendant, and we are only distant cousins, still technically family, which that’s okay.

I may have said this before, but I guess I wouldn’t mind if Mary Magdalene was a Ancestress, but if she had children with Jesus, then there is that whole other thing that I had mentioned before.

some might think that “but wouldn’t being his descendant be awesome, why wouldn’t you be happy about that...?”

I mean yeah it would, if it didn’t have it’s down side, which is why I’m hoping we only distant cousins.....we are both descendants of King David, who in my view wasn’t a very good dad to Tamar....

and for all we know, she could of been a Earth Angel...

anyway maybe if I do some reading, and maybe even some other stuff like watching some episodes of my favorite shows and maybe watch a movie later...

it might make me feel more happy, and maybe I can try to do some meditation while listening to the songs I had mentioned.

I might sign back on later tonight or tomorrow, it depends on my mood I guess...                                        

and once more, I will try to give the person responsible for reblogging even when I said “not to do so”....and I guess I can give them “official permission” now but try to hope they don’t pull that again, and try to respect my feelings in the future....I wont say who they are, but at least another person who reblog my work before, and didn’t notice the “do not reblog without permission” really didn’t notice them at first, and we were able to work it out and I was able to give them official permission....

but the person who I’m talking about is a different matter, because I had clearly put the “do not reblog without permission” at the very top, so it couldn’t be missed.....

so either it was ignored or it was not seen, I’m not sure....

I will try to give them a chance, and maybe I can try to drop it for now....

anyway I will try to do the meditation in a few hours or so...                

[cherrytry]

pet peeve: people who don’t pull in their seats when they get up.

thanks. now walking through the aisle is inconvenient i hope ur happy

[cjlouwho]

Hey CJ! Idk if you take prompts (I loved your most recent ficlet)

BUT any thoughts on how Buck and Tommy annoy each other (on purpose)??

ahhh thank you so much! I'm always taking prompts, it just sometimes takes me a while to get to them. here's a two-in-one fic for you!

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click click.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click click.

Tommy looked over across the couch, where Buck was staring down at a crossword as he clicked his pen. Over and over.

“Do you need a new pen?” Tommy asked, keeping his tone calm and casual.

“Huh?” It took a second for Buck to register what he'd asked. “Oh, no. No, I'm good, thanks,” he said, glancing over at him with a smile.

Tommy returned the smile, then went back to reading his magazine.

Click click click clickclick click click.

Tommy took a long, deep breath.

Click click click click click click click click click.

“You sure?” He asked again, his voice going up an octave. “I have a whole drawer of them.”

And they're the kind with caps, he added to himself.

Buck shook his head. “Nope, this one works just fine.”

Click click click click click click. Click. Click. Click.

Click click click click clickclick-

Tommy closed the magazine and squeezed his eyes shut. “For the love of God, Evan, please stop.”

“Ha! So it does bother you!” Buck exclaimed, pointing the pen to Tommy with a triumphant look on his face.

“Does the endless pen clicking bother me? Yeah, maybe a little.”

Buck shook his head, relaxing further into the couch. “Finally.”

“Finally what?”

“I finally found something that makes Mr. Cool lose his cool.”

Tommy huffed out a laugh. “I did not lose my cool, thank you very much.”

“You looked like a pressure cooker that was about to explode.”

“So you were doing all of that just to annoy me?” Tommy asked, a playful glare on his face.

“After about the third click, yes.”

“And if I didn't stop you, you were what? Gonna click the entirety of We Will Rock You?”

Buck tilted his head, looking more impressed than anything now. “Y- You knew the song?”

“Of course I knew the song. Who wouldn't know that song?”

“I just didn't realize I was so talented. I could quit my job, begin a professional career as a click artist.”

Tommy opened his magazine back up, crossing one leg over the other. “I'd stick with firefighting if I were you.”

They were just settling back into a peaceful silence when:

Click click.

“Okay.” Tommy reached across the couch and pulled the pen out of Buck's hand before getting up and heading for the trash.

“Wait! No!” Buck exclaimed. “I just had to finish the line in the song. I was done.”

Tommy raised the lid to the garbage can and dropped the pen in it. “You can get another pen out of the drawer beside you. One with a cap,” he added quickly, “not a clicker.”

“You're no fun,” Buck teased, opening the drawer and grabbing another pen. “Oh, I see some clickers in here, Babe. I could do a rendition of Come Sail Away for you!”

Tommy walked back over to Buck, standing right in front of him on the couch. “I love you, Evan, but if you so much as touch another click pen I will leave.”

Buck snorted out a laugh, staring up at his boyfriend. “This is your house, Tommy!”

“I'll sign it over to you.”

Buck reached up and tugged on Tommy's shirt until he was hovering over him, one hand on the armrest and the other on the back of the couch. “Has anyone ever told you you're dramatic?” Buck asked, pulling Tommy in for a kiss.

“My drama teacher, third grade,” he replied with a nod. “Mrs. Collier.”

Buck gave Tommy one more kiss before letting him go. “I'll have to send her a note, tell her she was right.”

“Well, she was about seventy when I was in her class,” Tommy informed him, sitting back down in his seat, “so you'll have to search her address on Find a Grave.”

He resumed his magazine reading as Buck got back into his crossword...

Until about two minutes later, when Buck began drumming the new pen on his thigh. This time, he was seemingly completely unaware of what he was doing.

Tommy headed to bed early that night.

**********

The first time it happened, Buck was surprised, but he didn't say anything about it.

The second time, he laughed a bit, and when Tommy asked what was so funny he just shrugged and said he'd never seen anyone do that before.

The third time, he thought he might die.

“Did you, um, did you use a fork to scoop out the butter?” he asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as humanly possible.

Tommy breezed by, grabbing a drink out of the fridge on his way to the garage for a work out. “Yeah. Had toast this morning.” He gave Buck a pat on the ass before heading out the door.

Buck immediately pulled a knife out of a drawer and smoothed out the butter.

It shouldn't have been a big deal. Realistically, Buck knew that.

But there was something so jarring about opening a container of butter only to see that it was littered with stab wounds.

It felt wrong.

It felt like a crime.

The fourth time it happened, it was the day after he and Tommy had gotten into an argument. Nothing too serious, and they had made up by the time they went to bed.

But Tommy had made himself dinner that night and he'd decided on scrambled eggs.

Which meant he'd first put butter in the pan so the eggs wouldn't stick.

Buck didn't want to another fight right now, so he kept quiet and fixed the butter once again, then went about his day.

The fifth time it happened, Buck was ready to throw every fork in the house away. He could no longer remain silent on such a serious issue. It needed to be discussed, and it needed to be discussed now.

There was no better time, as Tommy was opening their mail at the dining room table while Buck started on dinner.

“Uh, Tommy?”

“Yeah, Babe?”

“We, um, I- I need to talk to you.”

Tommy looked up from the mail and over to where Buck stood in the kitchen. “Uh oh,” he said when he saw the look on Buck face. “You sound serious.”

“Yeah, I- it. It's the butter, Tommy. I- Most people use a knife when they're getting butter, but you're using a fork, and it makes the butter look all stabby and I've just been fixing it myself every time I see it, but I really don't understand why you can't use a knife, or even a spoon, ya know?” He was rambling, but once he started he couldn't seem to stop. “It looks so much better if you use a knife because then it keeps that smooth, buttery texture instead of looking like its been to war and-” he stopped when he noticed that Tommy was smiling at him. “What?” he asked.

“I knew you'd break eventually.”

“Wh- What do you mean?”

Tommy picked up a pen from the table, holding his arm out straight in front of him.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click click.

When it hit him, Buck gasped, his eyes widening. “That was months ago!” he exclaimed. “We weren't even living together then!”

“And yet I've never forgotten,” Tommy replied, feeling a sense of vindication.

“You're diabolical.” He held the tub of butter out toward Tommy. “This could be considered a form of torture, you know?”

Tommy stood and walked over to Buck. “What would they call it? Butter-forking?” he asked, taking the tub from Buck and getting a knife from the drawer. He began smoothing the butter out himself, until it looked perfect on top. “Better?” he asked, showing Buck his work.

Buck turned his head to the side dramatically, staring out the kitchen window. “I don't know if we'll get past this.”

Tommy put the butter down, moving closer to Buck and placing his hands on his waist. “Could we try?” he asked. “I'd hate to tell the caterers we had to cancel the wedding on a count of me forking butter. Especially since it sounds shockingly close to doing something else with butter.”

Buck shuddered when he realized what Tommy meant. He looked up at him through his eyelashes. “Will you never destroy the sanctity of our butter with your fork ever again?”

“I will try my best,” Tommy promised. “As long as you continue to stay away from clickable pens.”

Buck sighed. “There goes the last chances of my career as a musical clicker,” he said with a pout, wrapping his arms around Tommy's shoulders.

“And there goes my career as a professional butter stabber,” Tommy replied, his hands tightening on Buck's waist as he got rid of his pout with a kiss.

[kay-selfships]

at least i’m self aware about my hypocrisy