#i am particularly very very emo about writing for chan

[chanranghaeys]

so. here are some very personal anecdotes on this fic that i'd just like to share about this fic:

this fic was heavily drawn from several events and people in my life, all mixed up in one and channeled through chan's character. i feel like most of my emotions end up projected onto chan because realistically, there's just something about him that strikes a chord with me. i feel like throughout any universe, i would inexplicably be drawn to someone like him and it would just be something unexplainable—similar to a crush, or maybe something more.

i consider myself a very fluffy writer—fluff is my default genre of choice. i once asked my friends then, "why is it that i can so easily write fluff for other members, but all my fics for chan so far are angst?" i still can't answer this question precisely, but the nearest i can get is because his character resonates with me the most as someone whose love i can and will work for and fight for.

during my worst days, i journaled a lot. when i could talk to no one, i talked to myself through the page. my journaling style is very similar to this, which is why i was able to churn this out relatively quickly.

journals are supposed to be very private matters of the heart and self. for you to even show it to anyone else, you must have full trust in the reader to accept you in your most emotional and vulnerable state. i've never shown them to anyone, save for one person before—and it didn't turn out too well. i like to think that in this fic's universe, this could've been the better outcome of that situation.

tw: death of a family member bc i went through a particularly difficult time this feb. my grandfather passing was a real life situation. consider this my copium, because i wish i had a chan, or anyone, to just hold me physically and emotionally through the whole thing.

i first considered doing purely journal-style entries for this fic, then i remembered the epistolary format—reminiscent of kae's, tara's, tiya's (tiya i realize u haven't posted the fic i had in mind CRYING), and viv's departures from the usual fic formats. i thought i'd do some experimenting of my own haha

all this to say, writing has always been my escape and solace, regardless of whatever comes out of it. i'm just glad i'm able to share some of whatever my brain comes up with people that understand too 🫶

☀️ here, there, and everywhere

This journal belongs to: me. If found, please contact this number. (And please do not read it—unless you want to read the ramblings of a person who fails to deny their feelings for a certain someone.)

pairing: lee chan x gn!reader word count: 2.5k+ genre: fluff for (belated) happy chan day and carat day! rating: pg tags: college friends, they grew up, time skips between entries, mutual pining, happy (open) ending, stream of consciousness, excessive italics, please read the whole thing as if it were a private journal of sorts warnings: mentions of alcohol, death of a family member (brief mention, off the page)

a/n: this is a self-indulgent piece on my ultimate crush and the love of my (kpop) life, lee chan. i can’t keep denying you, so here we go. in an alternate universe, you would’ve been my best friend that i loved to hate and hated to love, until one of us finally gave in to our feelings and hoped for the best. happy birthday chan! you’ve given me nothing but color in my life ever since i became a carat. i wish you all the beautiful flower paths ahead ✨

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ masterlist . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Dear Chan,

You must think me pathetic if you ever found one of these letters.

It sucks…this little crush I’ve discovered I have on you. And I am only saying this ONCE on the page. And to no one else. Because when you talk about a crush, it only grows, right?

So I'll just talk about it to myself.

I hate crushes because they are so unexplainable. They’re unexplainable feelings that latch on to you so hard and never let you go until you fumble and mess up and just make an utter fool of yourself.

I first found out I had a crush on you last month.

I had long admired you from afar through your dancing. You’re beautiful when you dance—in the zone, focused, bursting with energy. I’m genuinely jealous of how you can do the things you do with your body, how you tell such beautiful stories with every little move you make.

But it was that time during a production runthrough—the simultaneous evaluations—where you made that one mistake almost fatal to your team on that one sequence you spent weeks perfecting.

Yet there you were onstage, just laughing it off. So instead of your team being anxious or frustrated, they just laughed along with you.

It turned out to be the best performance of the night, your laughing played off as banter and camaraderie by the guest audiences.

That’s when I first felt the intense grip of this thing called feelings on my poor little heart.

Absolutely disgusting.

Anyway.

This “writing letters I'll never send to you” is all just for me to really process all these feelings I’ve discovered for you. No other reason aside from that. In my head, this is a form of acknowledgment so I can easily get over whatever this is.

So yeah. Feelings. A crush. On you—someone younger than me—of all people. I can’t believe it.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

We were crossing the street when you suddenly held my hand. You did that to pull me to the other side of the road farther from the direction of the car.

“Be careful,” you said.

I shouldn’t feel special. Maybe you do this with everyone else anyway.

I hate how I can’t help but feel just a teensy bit special. Indulge me on this.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

I hate how you’re so stubborn. I hate how you’re so passionate. I hate how you’re such an amazing dancer. If I didn’t know better, I’d be so goddamn jealous of you.

Well, maybe I already am.

But above all that, I feel so in awe of you.

I hate how amazing you are in everything you do.

I hate how you’re actually inspiring me to be a better person. Little by little.

You’re inspiring me to be more diligent, to work harder, to believe in myself and my artistry way more than I ever thought I could—even through the infinite doubts.

Because that’s what you do to me.

“You can do it!” you said. “I’ll be right in the audience cheering for you, too. Because you’re my number one supporter, I’ll also be your number one supporter.”

I hate how you’re right. Why do you always have to be right?

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

I don’t get it. I really don’t.

I don’t understand why you would do such things to me and for me.

It was such a simple and offhand remark.

“Is that a new necklace?” you asked.

“Nah,” I replied.

“It’s pretty. I don’t usually see you wearing that necklace. Where's the other one? The silver one with the daisy pendants?”

It was only because that one—my favorite one—broke and I didn’t have the time to have it fixed yet. Too busy with org scheds.

And you know what you said?

“Give it to me. I’ll have it fixed.”

What in the actual—

You didn’t have to do it, Chan.

Yet there I was, handing over my most prized possession...to you, my...friend.

You better give it back to me fixed, or else.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

We’re in the library pretending to study for this godforsaken exam. I’ve practically given up on it.

(lol just kidding I can’t do that)

So we’re on a break. You’re sitting right in front of me, writing something down in your own notebook. Good thing the tables are a bit wide. I really wish that you won’t be able to see your name plastered on top of this page.

I never pegged you for someone who writes. In my head, I will take this as my own influence over you after my constant stories of how journaling and writing is such a simple thing that can heal you so easily and thoroughly.

Maybe my influence, and Seungkwan’s as well. At least he’s a good influence.

It was so funny, even, how you made a huge show of showcasing your little black notebook. When you opened it, I saw that it was already bookmarked at the halfway point.

So you do write. You have been writing.

Stop making my crush on you grow. Stop.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

You were so drunk last night. I don’t think you’ll remember any of it today.

But I remember everything crystal clear.

You’ve had how many bottles of soju at that point. You slung your arm around me and leaned your head on my shoulder. Never mind how fast my heart was beating at that point. Whether from alcohol, or you know what, I will never know.

You told me, “You’re my best friend. You know that, right?”

Your best friend.

A friend.

A stake to the heart would’ve hurt less, in my opinion.

But then again, better a best friend than nothing at all.

I wish I was as drunk as you were last night. Maybe I could forget that one sentence and just carry on living as if this thing between us is nothing.

As if us holding hands the entire night last night under the guise of you “needing a steady hand to hold so you wouldn't fall because you were drunk as hell” is no indication of any thing.

Whatever this thing is.

Sincerely,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

I promised not to write anymore—believe me I tried. We’re best friends, right?

Best friends meet up for breakfast before going separate ways for the day, right?

Best friends make sure to ask if you’re home at the end of every day, right?

Best friends have random snacks or your go-to pick-me-up drink delivered to you when they know you’re having a terrible day, right?

Best friends do that, right?

Even if they’re both in separate relationships already?

I’m so confused. I shouldn’t be, but I can’t make it make sense.

Maybe it’s just me and these lingering and unresolved feelings. I hate them.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

Thank you for meeting me as soon as I called. Thank you for holding me as my world fell apart. Thank you for comforting me even as my tears fell. Thank you for being reliable. Thank you for giving me my comfort ice cream. Thank you for helping me through this breakup even though I know you’re on the brink of your own.

Thank you for being a friend—my friend.

Thank you for always catching me whenever I fall.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

I’m sorry about the breakup…or am I?

I’m not too sad about it, I’m sorry. I always knew they were a bit off for you. But I hope I’ve been the right kind of friend that you need right now.

Or however you need me. I'll be here for you, the same way you were for me. You know that right?

I know you held back a few tears when we were at the cafe earlier. You loved them, for sure. I know how far you go for love—that's how true your love is.

But you should've seen the look in your eyes. It tells me you’re not too too sad about it either.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Yeah, definitely just me.

Maybe it was more of me wanting to see the spark in your eyes again after you kept denying that it had been gone for so long.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

You should've seen your face earlier. It was so…

With all of your hip-hop and R&B playlists, I never pegged you to be one to appreciate any of the oldies.

“This is my favorite Beatles song,” I said.

You immediately stopped scrolling the phone hidden behind the book reading the book in your hand to listen to “Here, There, and Everywhere” playing from the cafe's tinny speakers, straining to make it out above the chatter of the establishment.

You said you'll pull up the lyrics to read, and as you did, the smile on your face grew ever so slowly with every word that your eyes traveled to. You started to slightly bob your head to the beat while mouthing some of the lyrics as the song continued on.

Okay, fine, I was watching you. You didn't notice anyway.

“It’s a great song,” you said. You looked up with this sense of meaning in your eyes. I feel like mine had a look of question marks in them.

Your fingers danced on your phone. I’m sure you added it to one of your playlists. Well, I hope.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

This is the last letter I’ll write. I promise.

It’s graduation tomorrow. If you give me nothing and nothing happens within the next month of tomorrow, I will stop this nonsense and maybe try to finally get over these feelings I seem to have for you.

Whatever it is.

I just…don’t think I can bring myself to do it first.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

This is so random but you just suddenly crossed my mind. And I remembered this notebook full of so-called "unsent letters to you."

I wonder how you are and if you're doing okay. I don't know why we grew apart after graduation. I just...I don't know. I can't even think about it without my head aching.

It does kind of feel like there's a hollow void in the shape of you somewhere in my body, particularly somewhere around my chest area.

(nope, I won't say it)

I hope you're doing alright.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

I can’t believe you came. It's been five years since we saw each other, three since we last spoke, yet you came—the person I least expected to see in the wake.

I never thought there'd be another letter but how could I not write anything?

I didn’t realize how painful and heavy it was to lose my grandfather until you hugged me. You were the first one to see my tears. You were the only one brave enough to hold my broken pieces without caring if you'd get cut by my sharp edges.

How you were able to do it even after all these years will forever be a mystery to me.

Thank you for catching me before I further shattered myself.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

I’m still reeling from recent events.

It was so nice to see you again last night, though. Thanks for dragging me out of my apartment. It’s been so long since we went out like that, just for some frozen yogurt, which naturally turned into a few drinks because after all, it’s still the two of us together.

But good lord help me, I’m still in a daze. How can I be normal when I just dropped the biggest truth bomb of my life thus far?

I told you, “Maybe I’ve always wondered what it would be like if we ever tried before.”

But you know what you said? You know what you frickin’ said?

“I wish you told me earlier. Why didn’t you?”

Well, why didn’t you??????

I swear I could’ve combusted on the spot if I could. I swear I just said that so I could finally let go of this weight from my chest.

But you know what you did?

You walked me home. You made sure I was safe.

And then you visited this morning with coffee and breakfast to nurse the drinks from last night.

You’re just outside my room right now, sitting on my small couch, playing Beatles songs from the speakers. You’re waiting for me to finish whatever I’m doing here because you’re taking me out to see this movie I told you I wanted to watch. Why?

“We have to make up for lost time,” you said.

Chan, what are you doing? Just tell me so I know what I should do.

What do I do with you now?

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Happy Chan Day!

I hate you.

I wish you told me about your party earlier! I mean, even hours earlier, not like an hour or two right before.

Okay, I know it’s a spontaneous birthday party and all—I GET IT. But please tell your friends to at least invite your other friends beforehand? So we can also prep stuff for you, okay? I moved around so many schedules for this—for your party. How could I not?

So I hope you’ll forgive me for not preparing your gift yet. I was planning to get it in the coming days when my sched was relatively freer. Still, I’m really, truly sorry for not getting you a gift. I know you like getting gifts because you like giving them as well.

You know, it’s your birthday, yet you were the one who said something that was almost like a gift to me.

You said, “Don’t bother with the gift. As long as you’re here with me, I don’t really need anything else.”

Chan, I still hate you. I think.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

I’ve come to the harrowing realization that I’m in love with you.

No scratch that. I love you. Throughout all these years, I’ve always loved you.

How’s that for a hit-me-with-a-firetruck realization?

Yours truly (I wish),

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Dear Chan,

Do not laugh at me. Do not be condescending. Do not dismiss me—your best friend. Do not leave me hanging. Just…do not.

When I show you this, just don’t.

Just read it.

Yours truly,

Me

— ✐ᝰ.ᐟ —

Hey, you.

If only you knew how many pages I’ve written about you. Glad to know I’m not the only one doing so.

It started on that day we were in the library. I’d already written about so many things, but that was the first time I ever wrote about you. I’ve never stopped writing since.

And even in pages full of you writing about me, I still write about you.

You’ve always been here, there, and everywhere to me.

Yours, truly and only yours,

Chan

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

NOW PLAYING: seventeen's playlist - song # 2

“To lead a better life / I need my love to be here // … // will be there and everywhere / Here, there and everywhere”

[honeyjaez]

Maze of Miroh- Chapter 19: The Battle for The Under Pt 2

I have a somewhat long announcement guys so bear with me here.

Ahhh hey guys. I got a lot of reasonings as to why this chapter is so late. First, I started Uni again, and its been an adjustment. Two, some internal issues at work caused me to break down in a complete depression spiral. For about 3 whole weeks I cried at work at least once a day haha. Finally, and this was more recent, but the rumors regarding Woojin.  I started this story of May 2019, before Woojin left, and afterwards I vowed I would continue to write him in my story despite no longer being in the group. But this issue it totally different in its entirety. Regardless if they are true or not (and we don't know that they are or not) the way he has handled the whole thing did not sit right with me. This topic hits close home for me as it is and I contemplated removing Woojin from my story all together to avoid making you guys feel uncomfortable as well as myself because it is such a serious trigger. As more rumors came out about his treatment towards the others members and what not I suddenly got a sick feeling in my stomach about him in general. When news first broke out I just wanted to go on in the story, never writing his name again and just totally drooping his character. I thought about telling everyone to not think of these characters as stray kids members and keep him in. But as I've had time to calm down and come to my own decision about the matter, I've decided that I will write him in this story for only this chapter and possibly next. I will be removing him from this story in a plot driven way and I would like you all to respect my decision on this matter. If it comes out later on that he is innocent of all his has been accused, then hey, *shrugs*. But I would rather that than me continue to write such a compassionate and kind character for someone who has lost their way in this regards. I just personally do not feel comfortable at this moment writing him in. Which really sucks because he was such an important part of this arc lol. Anyways, If I have offended you all by my way of removing Woojin from this story I am truly sorry. Again I thought about just totally pretending his character never existed in the first place. But as a writer, it didn't sit right with me.

With that, I have to tweak the story a bit, but I hope you enjoy this little update. Next update is nearly done (Actually this chapter was originally like 3 times longer, but I decided to cut it up.) Have a good night!

The Under:

To say Jisung was in a bad mood was a complete understatement.

All they were supposed to do was get down here, get the information they needed from Dowoon and get the fuck out.

There weren't supposed to be any psychotic speed demons, nor an emo Legolas wannabe with a stick up his ass. And there CERTAINLY wasn’t supposed to be any Virus.

Jisung furrowed his brow as their group ran towards the outer city limits. He looked behind him to see Minho straggling a few feet to the side, the older boy's eyes focused on the road in front of them. Jisung clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue in annoyance before he turned back around to look at the buildings in front of them.

If only the others knew what they were going through. Jisung almost laughed  imagining the raging meltdown both Changbin and Seungmin would have had in reaction to their current situation. They both are used to Chan’s more risky judgments, being in the group for as long as they had. Oh, if they could see us now….

He let out a long-winded sigh of defeat. They should have left when they had the chance.

But alas, he was being the selfish one here, and his other members had to be heroes incarnate, risking their lives for a group of people who they barely knew…Woojin hyung aside.  And in return, it would be up to Jisung to protect them all since they were all so infuriatingly reckless.

Nope definitely not annoyed....

Jisung’s ears perked as he heard a voice call out to them as they moved closer to the edge of the city. His eyes adjusted forward to see Wooyoung looking back at them, mouth moving as he voiced a command to them. Right away, the team came to an halt as they reached the first signs of buildings, and Wooyoung turned to look back at them, his eyes dark and hard with determination.

“Since some of you don’t know how our city is set up, we will split up in groups.” he explained “Mingi will go with Minho to the eastern section of the city, while Jisung and I will head to the north… Jongho, you'll be in the west.”

Wooyoung’s voice faded from Jisung’s mind as he felt his blood run icy cold at Wooyoung’s words. Now his annoyance was being overwritten by fear. This was exactly what he was afraid of… they were splitting up.

“Hyung,” Wooyoung seemingly continued, looking towards Woojin “since you know the city, can you head to the center? Our 3 teams will have to work fast, ushering the people back here towards the southern part of the city where the bunker is.”

Jisung shook himself back to the present and looked to see that while his eyes were hard with determination, he didn’t miss the way Wooyoung’s hands trembled at his sides. He regarded the older boy with a wave of understanding and sympathy.

 No matter how you look at it, we are working in a helpless situation… At Least he has the good sense to be scared…

But that begs the question. What about him? Was he scared? He was annoyed, that was for sure. But it didn’t take a genius to know his annoyance was just a mask, trying to hide his own fear.  No matter what, the odds did not look favorable.  5 of them trying to evacuate an entire city on their own? Working with a timer that they didn’t even know what it’s set at?

No thanks, I want a refund.

Woojin must have sensed Jisung’s negativity, for he set his eyes on the younger, giving out a small, knowing cough to gain his attention. He looked up and  locked eyes with Woojin, seeing the elder boy give him a half smile, like he was trying to reassure him.

“It won’t be easy,” he said out loud, tearing his gaze from Jisung’s and towards the party. “It will take all of our best efforts, but remember what Hongjoong said. No one has permission to die here and I am seconding that.”

The younger boys all stared at the older boy, their gaze turning hard with determination. Only Jisung looked apprehensive as he stared at his two teammates, and he found himself looking particularly in the direction of their green-horned Minho, who was still very much a novice in this world.

Jisung thought back to just a few hours ago in their shared room and Minho’s words caused Jisung’s brain to short circuit.

__

“Jisung, no matter what obstacle, what problem and what path leads in front of you, I believe with every fiber of my being that you will come out on top.”

__

God I really hope he is right….

If he was going to save the city and keep Minho alive he was going to need all the luck in the world.

Minho’s words replayed in his mind as he caught sight of Mingi making his way over to the brown haired boy. It was then that Minho himself seemed to feel Jisung’s gaze, and looked back, staring evenly. Jisung noticed with a twitch in his face, Minho’s soft eyes showing the slightest of fear to him. But before Jisung could do anything, Minho quickly covered it up with a misplaced resolve.

The younger grit his teeth in annoyance, knowing that look all too well. He saw it enough in his brother when they were kids and enough times in Chan and the others to last him a lifetime.

I swear to god he wants me to hate him...

Nothing made Jisung madder than a beautiful idiot with a death wish....

And Minho was all three.

There were a few exchanges between Wooyoung and the others, but all too quickly it was over and Jisung felt an arm ripping him from the circle, and thus tearing him from Minho’s gaze.

“Come on” Wooyoung muttered quickly “We have the furthest distance needed to travel. There is no time to waste.”

Just like that, Jisung was pulled from his fellow members, his stomach churning at the thought of being separated from them in a situation like theirs. If he isn’t there to stop them from being complete idiots, then who was?

Yep. Definitely annoyed.

“Fuck...” he cursed under his breath as he turned his back around, leaving the group behind as the both picked up speed. Jisung closed his eyes, sending a silent prayer to whatever god lived above to listen to his plea.

“Keep the idiots with a deathwish safe….please…”  

Minho

Minho watched as Wooyoung dragged Jisung away, an uneasy feeling in his stomach starting to make its way upwards. He hated being separated just as much as Jisung probably felt.  But he couldn’t argue with Wooyoung’s logic, nor could he back down from the task at hand.

He was going to save as many people as possible and show The Order that their time of winning was over.

Minho jumped slightly as he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning to see Woojin give him a comforting smile. “Jisung will be alright Minho,” he said, as if he knew his thoughts. “If anyone can take care of themselves, it’s Jisung.”

“Yah.” Minho agreed with a quick nod of his head.”You’re right.”

“Minho!” Mingi called “You ready? We need to get going!”

Minho turned to the taller boy who was standing next to Jongho and nodded  “Ready”

Woojin took a step forward, brushing his shoulder with Minho’s as a form of comfort. “Take care of him Mingi, he is our important member and friend...lord knows what Felix would do to me if I lost him on this mission.”

Mingi snorted playfully “I don’t know who that is, but as long as he can keep up we will be fine.” He then turned towards Jongho, placing two hands on his shoulders “Be safe little one.”

Minho almost laughed as he watched Jongho look up at the taller boy with a mildly annoyed face, “You know I can kick your ass right?” he asked the taller boy.

Mingi was unfazed as he waved a hand in the air. “Details Details” he said with a smile, motioning for Minho to follow him. If Jongho had heard his comment, the youngest made no notion of it, and turned back around, heading in his own direction.

As they ran further and further from the others he couldn’t help but shake a deep feeling of dread. Minho turned his gaze backwards to look at Woojin’s fleeting figure and he felt his heart tightening in his chest. Something didn’t didn’t feel right.

“Tch!” Minho growled to himself mentally “No. I won’t psych myself out this time!”

This was it. This was another chance to do good, and prove to himself that he CAN do what is needed to be done. No more hiding. No more cowardice. Minho had to make a difference here or his promise to Jeongwoo would be meaningless.

The two of them went on for a few minutes in complete silence, but eventually Minho could feel Mingi’s gaze on him and he turned his head slightly to glance back.

“What?” was all he asked.

“How new?” he asked.

Minho's eyes widened in confusion, turning to get a better look at the bigger boy “Excuse me?”

Mingi chuckled, his gaze turning back to the road in front of them “I mean how new are you to this harsh world of fighting?”

Minho felt his cheeks warm in embarrassment at the question, and he quickly looked at the ground in front of him, sheepish. “Is it that obvious?” he mewed quietly.

Mingi laughed louder this time, throwing two hands in the air in kindness “Not really.” he chuckled “I mean just the fact that you beat San shows you have skills.” He said encouragingly. “I just ask because your members treat you like you're fragile… something you only really do when you are new to this world.”

Minho nodded, trying to calm down from his mild dose of embarrassment. “You can say that again….” he mused.

Mingi smiled at him and gave him a toothy grin “Well the others might not say it, but just the fact that you are against The Order makes you a friend to me!”

Minho’s eyes widened and he nearly smiled at the boy’s pure words. “I thought The Under were neutral when it came to The Order…” He said with a puzzled look. ”You neither give them support but neither do you fight against them… isn’t that right?”

But the younger boy shrugged rather casually, “That is the standard” he explained “But it doesn’t necessarily mean we all agree with it. Hongjoong hyung...” Mingi trailed off, like he was contemplating saying his next words.

“Truthfully….” the taller boy continued more slowly “If it were up to Hongjoong Hyung… We would have liked nothing more than to go the surface, to make The Under more than just a lawless city, that in which is suffocating in the mud and dirt down here.” Mingi turned and gazed at Minho, with the first sense of intensity he caught all day “He wants a better future for the children born down here, something we didn’t get.”

Minho looked at him, pondering his words for a few seconds, and trying to understand the underlying problem. Suddenly Chan’s words flashed through his mind.

“ If we even wanted a chance at overthrowing The Order, then we needed allies. Strong allies at that... “

Minho looked towards Mingi, face pure and honest “If given the chance... Would you fight back? And I mean seriously fight back...”

Mingi gazed back at him, noticing the serious expression on his face, nodding once. “Aye.”

Minho felt a wave of weight being lifted from him and he gave Mingi an earnest smile “Then maybe one day we will.”

It fell into a comfortable silence after that, but Minho couldn’t help but smile now as they ran. This was his first real interaction with another member besides San, and it left him hopeful that they could work together in the future. If they were all like Mingi and Hongjoong that is…

But before he could romance the idea any further, Minho’s smile dropped as he began to hear yelling in the far distance. Screams began to fill his ears and Minho realized with a thump to his heart that they were finally reaching an area with people. As they rounded the corner his eyes widened wide with alarm at the sight of crowds of people rushing forwards, carrying their young ones and belongings as they pushed towards the center. There was no order to it. It was chaotic and messy.

Exactly what Zico wanted.

Minho looked to Mingi who was also looking at the sight with a grim expression on his face. No matter how you looked at it, just two of them controlling this crowd was nearly impossible. It wasn’t going to be easy whatsoever.

But they had to start somewhere.

Mingi rushed forward then, aiming towards a herd of people, easily outpacing them and stopping at the front of them with his arms stretched wide as a blockade. There were a few shocked gasps but also a few who recognized the young boy almost immediately.

“Mingi-ssi!?” Minho heard a voice from the mass call  “What are you doing?! Why are you stopping us?!”

Mingi looked at the crowd, his face dead serious. “Despite what Zico said, protocol calls for all evacuations to take place in the southern bunker!” he tried to yell over the chaos “I’m going to have to ask you to turn the other way!”

Hushed murmurs ripped through the crowd and Minho perked his ears forward to listen.

“That's true…” a female voice said.

“But why would Zico send us to the center if it wasn’t the safest…”

“No matter what it looks like we have orders…”

“Well I trust our leader!”

Please, Please… Minho pleaded.

But Minho’s plea was crushed as the crowd began to push Mingi backwards, choosing to continue on their path. He watched as Mingi was quickly shoved to the side by the masses and he ran forward, pulling him back up as the crown sprinted forward and away from them.

“Mingi-ssi!” he called, helping the boy off from the ground. “Are you okay?”

“Tch!” he spat. “They are choosing to believe Zico over me!”

“Well” Minho reasoned “They don’t know about Zico so of course they still trust him…”

Mingi punched the ground in front of them, his anger rising “Dammit!” he cured “If only Hongjoong hyung was here...”

“Mingi-ssi?” a voice called.

Minho turned to see a taller, older man with worn out blond hair looking at him from across the rushing street. He quickly made his way over to them, holding out a hand to Mingi.

Mingi looked up, taking the older boy's hand, a tired smile on his face. “Inpyo hyung!” he cried “Thank god you are here!”

The one named Inpyo nodded, his face grim “Once the alarm sounded my boys and I set out to help with the evacuations but we are having a bit of difficulties” he admitted. He then turned towards Minho, eyes narrowing in mild interest “Who is this?”

Mingi waved a hand in the air, “This is Minho. He and his group are helping us. Minho-” he turned, waving a hand at the taller man “This is Inpyo. He and his team are one of the best of our police force down here.”

“- Was ” Inpyo corrected, holding out his hand to Minho in greeting “We all retired a few years back when we couldn’t stand by Zico any longer.”

Minho nodded in greeting, taking his hand for a quick shake “I don’t blame you..”

Inpyo smiled at that and took his hand away. “Mingi,” he asked, turning back towards the younger “Why would Zico have the city evacuate to the center of the city?”

Mingi shook his head “I can’t explain right now, but it is all wrong hyung, the center of the city is the focal point of what's to come, and we need to get everyone to get away from there. But no one is willing to listen to me...”

Inpyo placed a hand on his chin, deep in thought.

“Asking them to believe in someone else over their trusted leader is a bit much for most people....” Inpyo mused.

“I understand that” Mingi agreed “But we have to convince them somehow…”

They were all quiet as chaos erupted around them, trying to think of a plan. Suddenly a thought came to Minho’s mind and he looked up at them with wide eyes.

“Inpyo-ssi?” Minho asked “When you say you were one of the best, how much did the people of The Under trust you? Did you have their respect?”

The question caught the older man off guard for a second but quietly nodded “Ah.”

Mingi scoffed “Didn they respect him? They practically worshiped the ground they all walked on…”

“Then why not have Inpyo and his team tell everyone where to evacuate?”

“As much as they trust me Minho,” Inpyo started “I’m still asking them to go against Zico’s orders...most won’t be willin-”

Minho held a finger up in the air to interrupt “But what if we don’t tell them to go against his orders?”

Mingi tilted his head in confusion “Okay, now I’m lost”

But Inpyo seemed to understand what Minho was getting at and nodded once “We tell them something different. Something they would believe came from Zico himself...”

Minho smiled, a small bode of confidence sparking in him “Instead of telling them the evacuation site has changed, we tell them that the center bunker is too full and overflow needs to evacuate to the southern bunker.”

Mingi’s eyes widened in realization while Inpyo nodded “It might work, especially if it comes from our mouths.”

“Hyung” Mingi suddenly turned and looked at the elder boy “Where’s Jiahn and the others? Can you get in contact with him? Have them help?”

Inpyo nodded, pulling out a small phone “I scattered them all to various districts. But I can call them and update the plan.  Jiahn should be in the center of the city right now...”

Minho looked at the elder boy, chewing his bottom lip in worry. “If I can ask Inpyo-ssi. One of my hyungs should be arriving in the center region any second now to help with the evacuation. Maybe your friend could meet up with him.”

Inpyo smiled softly and nodded, “Better as teams than opposing forces. Who is your friend?”

“It’s Woojin hyung” Mingi answered. Inpyo’s face widened in mild surprise and he looked at Mingi with curiosity in his eyes “Woojin? Woojin is in the same group as Minho. Wooyoung is in the North with another of their teammates and Jongho is in the Western quadrant.”

Inpyo eyed him with a mildly disappointed look “And Hongjoong? Where are the rest of your teammates Mingi?”

The taller boy shook his head “Not enough time hyung. Just know they are all doing their part in this. Please hyung….We could really use your help…”

Inpyo nodded looking at the two of them. “I’ll get in contact with my team. Don’t fret Mingi-ya. The Under won't die here is I have anything to say about it.”

They stayed quiet as Inpyo opened his small phone and quickly dialed a few numbers. There was a few more heartbeats of quiet as he put the device to his ear, but soon enough they heard a click and a muffled voice on the other line.

“Jiahn hyung-yes yes I'm okay. Listen, plans changed” he started “We were right. Something is fishy with the center evacuation. We need to evacuate them to the sou-oh?” he stopped midstence as the voice spoke to him and Minho watched as he nodded in response “I get it. You met Woojin already and he told you. Okay. Well tell the people that the center is full and Zico has ordered the overflow to the south. Can you pass the information to Isaac and Yeontae’s groups? Great Thank you. Tell them when their sections are done and they have done a sweep to report to the southern bunker.”

And like that, without even saying goodbye the elder boy quickly shut the phone and turned back to look at them.

“For trusting sake, Mingi keep Minho with you as you work your ways inwards. We have a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time.”

Both boys nodded and stood up from the ground, pounding their feet on the ground as they began to run into the crowd. A familiar sense of dread suddenly filled Minho to his core and he swallowed hard, his heart beat racing. 

Why did he feel like something terrible was about to happen?