#i am nothing if not selfish to my core <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[5eraphim]

may i please have something with spy and his s/o who has stockholm syndrome and has been broken down enough that they feel the need to always be touching him? treating him as a king! constantly kissing any spot on him, wanting to leave marks on spy so people know hes claimed, nonstop praising him and stroking his ego, maybe s/o wants to scent mark him ♡ thank you!!

I love you so much right now. I am sending a psychic beam of pure love and kisses directly into your skull. This is just,,, exactly the kind of request I've been waiting for (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ I'm not 100% sure if you wanted a oneshot or headcanons, but for purely selfish reasons, I'm answering with a oneshot <3 hope you enjoy!

Summary: Cuddling with Spy at night, and feeling a perfect kind of bliss from the knowledge you two are exactly where you're meant to be.

Character: Spy 🐍 (Team Fortress 2)

Rating: M (MINORS DNI)

Content Warnings: yandere, mind break, Stockholm Syndrome, servant/master dynamics, denial/edging, sexual massage, possessive behavior

Word Count: 2.8k

TIP JAR

MASTER LIST

(Song Inspo: Chapel, Nicole Dollanganger)

"I was reading my destiny inside your eyes without knowing it." Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

LAST EDITED- 4/18/2023

Earlier that day, you welcomed your beloved home. Unfortunately, much later than usual, apparently preoccupied with some kind of inescapable work issue. By the time he returned home, the full moon had illuminated the inky-black sky, and a pleasant evening chill settled motionless all around, ending the sun's humid, suffocating summer heat for the day. Crickets chirped in the long grass surrounding the small cabin you and your lover shared, surrounded by the forest and far away from any prying eyes. When you heard the screen door creak open, Spy entered, quietly locking the door behind him, stepping out of his dress shoes and neatly tucking them beside it. Greeting him with a kiss and helping him to slip out of his work clothes, you welcomed him home. Taking note to be extra soft and loving, seeing how thoroughly exhausted he appeared.

Sharing a cup of tea together was a long-standing ritual between the two of you. It was your job to brew and serve the tea while Spy waited patiently. You remembered how pleased Spy looked the first time you managed to prepare the tea exactly to suit his tastes. And how proud you felt, knowing you were likely one of the only people he trusted enough to accept food from. Spy liked to sip his drink while unwinding from his long day, while you would sit and keep him company. Sometimes with chatter, other times quiet and content enough to enjoy a little time together.

Tonight Spy requested you to draw him a bath during the late-night chat, a task you accepted most graciously. He was always so generous to share the tub with you, so long as you would help wash. Or, as he liked to say, "Earn your spot beside him."

While you didn't remember much of life before you met Spy, you did recall the first time he offered to share the bath with you. Long past when he first brought you here to live, and by that point, your resilience began to break down, and it was harder and harder to ignore how badly you wanted to give in and accept his affections. You weren't trying to escape or harm him anymore, no longer because of threat or punishment, but rather an unexplainable yearning for Spy. It wasn't love, not yet, but a means to quell the discontentment you couldn't shake apart from Spy; he completed you.

Your body settled between his long legs, your back to his chest. This was the first time you saw him naked, and it felt bizarrely enticing when he told you how he wanted to see you the same way. The water felt so warm, and you could've melted right there as he used his bare hands to glide soap and suds over your wet skin, covering your body with bubbles and warm water. And for the first time, you didn't shy away from his touch when his fingertips skimmed your thighs and lingered so lightly at your chest, his fingers growing bolder. You allowed your head to lull back and lean against Spy's body, your eyes fluttering shut. Moaning breathily under his touch. Spy hummed as he continued to work, caressing every inch of your body, comforted by the feeling of your body completely relaxed against his. For the first time, you allowed yourself to let your guard down. And by God, did it feel good.

It all felt so long ago, though living in isolation made keeping up with time impossible. But you remember how nice it was to let yourself give in and begin to accept Spy's charms and sensuality. For a while, you tried to remain resilient and faithful to yourself, to only embrace him when sharing a bath, but once Spy caused this fracture in your defenses, he knew it was only a matter of time before you folded. No much longer did you bother lying to yourself. Pretending you didn't love the feeling of hot water washing over you, Spy's touch getting bolder when he could tell you were no longer trying to push him away. He told you how proud he was to see you at ease like this, how he knew you'd be much more comfortable after you'd removed your layers of clothing and gave him a chance. How now it made sense why you were always so high-strung and wound up under all those clothes, you were far better off living this. His voice and hands were hypnotic, pulling you deeper and deeper into this new peaceful state of mind. You didn't even protest when he pulled you into his bed that night.

Tonight went quite similar. By now, you were far more used to taking Spy's orders and were responsible for stripping down yourself and helping undress him, folding the clothes neatly on the countertop before you were allowed to enter the bath. He referred you to lay between his legs, being so kind to help wash you before himself, knowing this was your favorite spot. The motions are familiar but in a comforting way. The feeling of a trusted routine to help unwind at the end of such a taxing day.

Neither of you dressed after the bath, deciding to dry off and hop into bed. All the lights were off, but you could still see around the bedroom clearly enough with the moon's light shining into the bedroom. You tried to fall asleep, but feeling restless, you couldn't quite find sleep. Instead, your mind wandered to the sensation of your beloved Spy curled beside you in bed. Spy always looked so beautiful when he was asleep, his face relaxed, breathing so gentle, he looked like a living marble Adonis. Nothing less than perfection in your eyes. He slept on his back while you were curled up on your side facing him, head resting on his chest.

You nuzzled your head into his chest, snuggling a little closer. The feeling of Spy's hand gently stroking your head gave you a small jolt of surprise, as you thought Spy was already asleep. "You're awake?"

His eyes were still shut when he answered. "You've been fidgeting beside me all night. No one could sleep through that." You bit your lip nervously, feeling a light stab of guilt for this. "I'm so sorry about that. I didn't even realize."

Spy leaned down to kiss your head, " You're alright, but I wonder, were you trying to get my attention? Is there something you want from me now that it's so late at night?"

You flushed a little, "No, it was an accident! I'm just- I mean, I'm sorry I woke you up."

Spy cracked the eye oven looking down on you. "How about a back rub to make up for it, then? You've always been so good at those." You couldn't help but feel bubbly inside from his praise, and with a quiet "yes sir," you climbed up over him. Spy rolling onto his stomach now, arms under the pillow he rested his head on while you straddled his lower back.

As gently as you could, you ran your hands over the skin on his back, initiating the skin-to-skin contact delicately, still unable to shake your initial guilt for waking him up in the first place. His body felt so soft and clean after the bath. His back accumulated tremendous scar tissue over the years, and your heart ached to think about Spy away on his own where you couldn't protect him. The pain was all the worse as you knew, deep down, this was how it had to be. You wished you had some kind of magic touch to heal the scars for good or to take on the wounds yourself. Unfortunately, the best you could do now was run your soothing touch over the blemished area. Though you'd never admit this to him, you always thought Spy's scar tissue was sexy, making his already charming physique even more alluring.

Using steady, well-practiced hands, you began to apply more pressure to the massage, knowing where he usually held tension and where to target to have him moaning and sighing in relief. Starting high, around his shoulder blades, before moving your hands up and down his body, leaving no area untended. Your fingers work hard to draw out his tension and ease his pain. In the low light, you could see Spy relaxing into your touch a little more, and you felt an erotic jolt of excitement as you heard him beginning to let off gentle, breathy moans as you worked.

Your eyes drift shut when you feel his hand against your outer thigh. The light touch against your upper leg was innocent enough, but you were aroused all the same, moaning through clenched teeth, tensing up. You were caught off-guard and felt goosebumps prickling across your arms and legs. But you didn't take this as your cue to stop. Instead, you began to massage him deeper, moving with more force but remaining as slow and sensual as possible. Thumbs digging into the tissue of his lower back, fingers rubbing little circles, occasionally using your palms and knuckles to grind even harder.

You didn't even realize how far your mind had drifted when you felt his fingernails brushing against your thigh. Then, when you felt his hand stroke higher than expected, you flinched inward, hissing sharply. It wasn't until after you discovered when you curled your hands into tight fists in shock did you realize you accidentally scratched your nails against his skin. Leaving a few puffy scratches over his shoulder blades where your hands were. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry- it was an accident!"

It was impossible to stop your hands from shaking as you pulled them into your chest in shame upon a braising Spy's precious skin. It wasn't much of an abrasion, just a few red stretch marks along his back, the longest of which was about the length of a pinky finger, with a few tiny beads of blood. Still, you felt awful for what you'd done all the same. You were about to climb down and fetch the first aid kit from the bathroom when before you could move, you heard Spy's voice. "Did you draw blood?" He didn't sound mad, rather neutral, actually, but you were wracked with guilt all the same.

"I did; I'm so sorry! Let me get you patched up."

"No, I want you to lick it up."

His words stopped you dead in your tracks. "Is he being serious?" you wondered, and for a moment, you felt frozen in place, unable to decide if he seriously wanted you to do what you were told or if he was being sarcastic. Though this didn't last long, he tilted his head back a little. From his position lying on his stomach on the bed, he could only move so much, but in the low lighting in the room, you could swear you could just barely catch the light of the moon in his eyes.

"Go on, do as you're told, and clean up your mess."

You were genuinely comforted to see he wasn't upset with you, though it didn't entirely absolve you of the guilt of your actions. If this was what he wanted, it was your job to deliver. You planted both hands on the bed as you scooted down to lay above him on your elbows. Now your head was just over the tiny wound, and even up close, you could see the scratch wasn't anything worse than a cat's scratch, and if you were honest, there was a chilling excitement you felt. Something about being ordered to kiss the wound felt so intimate. Your eyes closed as you leaned down closer, your tongue rolling out just enough to swipe up the tiny beads of blood before returning to your mouth. You felt the taste of copper follow the blood into your mouth, lingering for just a second as you swallowed the warm substance. Feeling bolder, you lightly kissed the sensitive area you'd left a scar, but it wasn't enough. You wanted more, to caress his flesh with your lips, kissing your love tenderly to show your reverence. Spy shifted a little under you, rolling from his stomach to his side as you moved to accommodate him.

He hummed softly to himself constantly as you kissed your way from his shoulder blades to the side of his neck. You could feel his pulse below your mouth, all too aware of how he clearly enjoyed feeling your lips against the thin, sensitive flesh. He used a gentle but firm hand to cup the side of your face, guiding your lips to meet his as you sighed into the kiss.

It wasn't long before his tongue was in your mouth, and you were back on top, the two of you moving as one as he rolled to his back, you taking this as an invitation to go back to straddling his torso. The kiss felt so passionate and sensual, and you could not stop yourself from lightly grinding your lower body against his, desperate for any friction between your legs. You moaned into the kiss when you felt his fingertips feeling up the sides of your body. You wanted desperately to move his hands from the sides of your hips to between, but you also didn't want the pleasant shivers his touch brought about to stop. It was impossible to hold yourself back. Spy deepened the kiss, lips sliding against your own as you returned the affection. His touch, gentler than yours, had you feeling so hot, bothered, and almost painfully wet. Your hands worked through his hair, winding it around your fingers, pulling slightly as he teased your body, but just as you were about to start rolling your hips, Spy pulled away, removing his fingers from your body. Spy looked up at your confused expression with a coy grin.

"It's getting late. Why do we settle down for the night?"

"Can't we go a little longer?"

"Maybe tomorrow night."

Your head dropped in disappointment. "Please, just a minute longer, I- God Spy, I'm so wet, I need you so bad it hurts!"

Your pain only amused the man as he chuckled softly, his hand smoothing back your hair, "If you love me, you'll do as you're told." It hurt, but he was right, as usual, and with a half-hearted "yes sir," you peeled away from him, moving to lay on your side facing him. While Spy didn't move from his back, waiting for you to cuddle up closer, no doubt feeling your body trembling with the effort it took to remain still.

"You're being good for me, right? You aren't touching yourself, are you?"

Shaking your head, no, Spy pulled you a little closer to him. Kissing the top of your head while you lay against his lithe body. "Very good. Your hands are only to serve me, not yourself."

This man was a sadist, wrapping himself tightly around you while speaking in that low-breathy murmur that gave you chills, feeling his warm breath fanning your overheated body and skin. It drove you mad in the best way imaginable.

You could swear you felt sweat begin to bead along your back with the effort it took to obey his command. Feeling his warm skin against yours, the softness of the blankets, his natural aroma overwhelming your mind, not to mention the already uncomfortable burning felt between your legs, you wanted so badly to climb back over him and relieve the awful tension, but you wouldn't dare. Spy's approval and praise meant the world to you, and disobeying him to satisfy your carnal desires would be unthinkable. Spy's breathing began to deepen and slow, and you felt his arm around your shoulders starting to slacken as he drifted off to sleep. And you took great comfort in knowing you were about to settle down for the night, sleeping in the embrace of your reason for living.

Perhaps your beloved Spy was no longer a person to you, and your love for him transformed him into something beyond human. Now he was the light of your life, the only one who made you feel alive. As you felt his arms wrapped around your body, his warm body curled up behind you, his body heat warming you and the bed's blankets, the heat making you want to nestle up even closer, to feel every inch of your beloved's perfect body wrapped around yours, as protective of you as you were to him. And with God as your witness, you swore, you would protect him until the day you died.

[shaisuki]

Can you do (separate scenarios of course <3)Bachira, Nagi, Chigiri, and whoever else you’d like to add in a scenario where their chubby and soft girlfriend tries her hardest not to be insecure about her body but the insecurity really sneaks up on her a lot? So like, when the bfs find out, not only do they comfort her, but they show her just how much they love and adore her body if you catch my drift <3 Thank you so much!!

ENDLESS ADORATION

ft. bachira meguru, nagi seishiro, chigiri hyoma, barou shoei

content warnings ─── body insecurities, self-loathing, body dysphoria, smut, mean barou, implied fingering, degradation.

notes. i'm so sorry it took so long nonnie. it wasn't deleted or anything but i hope you like it, nonnie. thank you for requesting!

ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ don't ever let them catch you being insecure about your body, they had plenty of ways to show you how much they adore your body and you.

BACHIRA MEGURU

“you could be so mean to me, baby.” he whispers. his hands roaming all over to the expanse of your soft body. his bright yellow eyes glowing more than ever at its reflection in the mirror.

he got you trapped from his grip. his arms snaking to your soft middle while his jaw rests on your shoulder. caught in the middle of you criticizing yourself and bachira wouldn't allow that. “how selfish.” he mutters. his teeth grazing at the shell of your ear and it sends the slightest of tremors throughout your body.

you can't help but to tear up a bit. “h—how am i selfish, megu?” you stammer. avoiding your reflection at the large mirror in front of you. you don't want to see yourself nor catch him staring at you with those round eyes of his. so full of life, enthusiasm. confidence. a thing that you will never attain.

“you're selfish for hating, keeping this body that is mine. who gave you that idea, hmm? it's not your place to judge this body that i dearly love and its owner.” he hums, chuckling that it reverberates to your skin and to your aching core. his palm gliding through your stomach lifting the pesky clothing to reveal the stomach that's far from being leaned nor toned. it is round, the excess fat protruding giving you the impression of a pouch but bachira could careless about it. his fingers sinking to the soft flesh, like paws of cat kneading and pressing the fleshiness of your skin.

“what if this cute stomach of yours is flat? i couldn't hold it. what i am going to do with my hands...” he mutters, pinching your stomach then his fingers glides through the skin of your thighs. “this thighs of yours, how is it going to crush me if this isn't that thick, warm me even. so selfish.” prying your thighs open and his hand settles to the mound between them. slender and nimble fingers brushing through your panties. rubbing your slit and a huge grin plastered in his face when the wetness of your fat pussy began to drench your panties.

“don't be mean to this body of mine, baby. perhaps i'll show you what i'm capable of to make those silly ideas forming in your head disappear.” he says, pressing a chaste kiss to your round cheek.

“i hope you can take me cause i ain't stopping.” bachira's eyes glowing more than ever and you know what it means when he get this riled up. his grin wider and you braced yourself. you know it all too well and you accepted it.

those thoughts of yours wouldn't be visiting you anytime soon after bachira had fucked you into oblivion.

NAGI SEISHIRO

nagi isn't insecure.

the word is foreign to him and the feeling of it. he's lazy, unmotivated and such unwanted thoughts isn't welcome and worth worrying over. why would he bother with such thing when in the first he didn't care. that's what he thought until he met you.

his soft, chubby girlfriend who had been nothing but loving and supporting to him. nagi didn't quite the gist when he caught you staring at yourself in the mirror with a frown in your lips. he only looks at you briefly before going back to his console. paying it no mind since when did nagi felt of being insecure.

then it began to affect him and yours. mostly yours. when you began to push his affections.

“seishiro, not now please.” your voice coming in a low whisper. gently pushing your white haired boyfriend in his head. shifting into more of a comfortable position in your bed. nagi groans, lips curling into a frown. a rare occurrence of him. he doesn't get upset since he don't like giving things the benefit of his time when he can give it to something more important.

he doesn't stop though. his huge build hovering above yours before putting his whole weight to yours. “sei!” you scolded him but nagi didn't listen burying his face in to your neck. nuzzling like a cat, he's almost purring from it.

he shakes his head. interlocking his fingers with yours. placing it beside yours and you were left powerless against your boyfriend's overwhelming strength. his lips finding refuge in your neck, tongue moving to lick the soft spot of your neck.

this isn't nagi who would make an effort to go down in you. well, at times when he's feeling it. the need to show you how much he loves you.

“pretty.” he murmurs. his hand now holding your thigh even though his large palm engulfs the majority of your thigh it wasn't enough to cover how big it was. placing it beside his torso grind his bulge to your cunt. “i always need you, want you.” he says. pressing a sloppy, lazy kiss to your lips.

nagi isn't good at words but he's willing to try for his soft, chubby girlfriend. it would be troublesome if he can't get his girl out of those thoughts of hers.

CHIGIRI HYOMA

chigiri's blessed with his looks that every people that within his eyesight cranes their neck to marvel at his looks. it didn't matter that he was rather feminine than other girls and he gets teased a lot by the guys around him. he just take after his mother.

there's no time to feel inadequate at things let alone how he perceive himself. he couldn't remember when the last time he felt insecure or been really insecure about himself and then he fell in love with you or it is that how being in love is. he have you and he was contented at that and being with you. he has to fight the battles that dwells inside you and chigiri isn't good at it. comforting another human being even it is his significant other.

so he tries. sees your eyes brimming with tears whenever he calls you pretty and he's confused.

“i'm not chigiri! look at you, you're beautiful and i'm not, you're lying.” he was taken aback at your outburst at him but he is quick to wipe your tears away while he whispers the very words that comforts you.

his sweet, crybaby.

“so, i am but you will always be my pretty baby.” brushing the loose strands of his reddish pink hair to see you better. he kisses you desperately like you were the air to fill his lungs to breathe again and you both stared at each other. he smirks when he sees you're already in a daze. mind spinning and only you can think is him.

his nimble fingers working through the garment of your panties. toying with hem before pulling at it downward to show that pretty pussy he's deprived of.

so he pumps his finger full in in your sopping hole. watch as it drips with slick coating his fingers. hear that delicious squelch while he stretches you. his ego inflating the more he hears you moan, call his name in the same breathy way that got you begging from him. all your insecurities dissipating like bubbles from the way his fingers stretches you out. he could do this forever.

wait until he fucks you dumb. you will forget those stupid insecurities along with your name.

BAROU SHOEI

barou doesn't play nice nor comfort you with those silly, sweet words that one needs to hear when in a struggle of battling with themselves. he simply doesn't need to play nice and comfort you and what only to question it again.

his actions says otherwise. he got you on all fours, your ass raised in a position you never knew you could. his hands gripping your round stomach so tight while he pounds you from the back. it is relentless. the groans and the moans mixing with one another while you hold tightly in his muscular arms his other hand cupping your jaw. forcing you to look in the mirror.

“you are nothing but my cocksleeve.” he says in between grunts. his red eyes glimmering, peering at his girlfriend who is currently sobbing, moaning like a broken record while tears streamed down at her round face. you whimper at what he just called you.

“you are. there's no denial in that. look at you, crying a baby and yet your pussy squeezing me like a whore.” the words stung and he spoke it the way he means it and barou isn't known to lie. his tongue made of barbed wires that is meant to hurt, talk about how awful everyone and you believed it that you are his own for him to use. your cries a little louder and thick droplets of your tears falling from your eyes.

it's funny how his words hurt you and it works like magic forgetting your earlier dilemma of hating yourself, of hating the body you live with.

you let him. bruise your body with his thrusts, with his touch. if this is the only way to forget everything so be it.

and so he did. he breathes in your cheek. growling at the way your cunt clenches tightly around him. you did feel so good to him. he cups your jaw harder, squishing it with much strength that you can't speak. your body reeling in sensitivity that you failed to notice how he pays attention to your soft bits. particularly to the parts where it leaves you frowning and he loves every part of you.

that's why he gives them the love, the care that you will never bother to give but available to scrutinize and he's filling out that so one day, you'll stop looking at them that they've wronged you and barou isn't the one to get mushy. he is still the hotheaded, competitive, bulky man that would not admit he loves you but his actions tells another story.

with the tight squeeze of your cunt around him, he finally reaches his high. yours and his orgasm hurling at you both that he can't help but to bite your shoulder and you — only a broken moan that music to his ears.

if this is the only way to shut you up and comfort, he'll do it over and over again until you can't speak no more and your eyes are brimmed with tears.

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Hi! I love your blog and I like show!Ben very much. However I felt meh about his book, and Sophie while sweet, strong and deserving of respect seemed a little bit bland to me. It's fine and probably won't ruin the pleasure of following their story for me. The book and Cinderella themes was simply not my cup of tea, but they definitely will make some changes anyways. That all being said I want to very politely ask you to explain to me what's magic of this couple is for you?

Hello Nonny!

Thank you so much for your kind words and this truly thought provoking question! I have a long-winded answer 😜

I agree with you on many points: I am typically not one for fairytale romance/Cinderella tropes; I believe Benophie's book An Offer from a Gentleman has a TON of problems including making Sophie bland and helpless; and I am hopelessly in love with show!Ben.

As best I can describe it, Luke Thompson's show!Ben is the answer to everything. I love that character and find him to be 'magical' moreso than I do the coupling of Benophie and their story. I believe that he could have a captivating love story with literally anyone and anything. Show me his forbidden romance with a dustbin and I will eat it up 😅 He is just such a well-written and acted character (despite being rather bland and directionless in S3 IMO). He is always kind-hearted and emotionally intelligent (looking askance at dear Anthony). He is adventurous and funny, creative and romantic, and yet not a pushover. He still exudes masculinity and sexual intensity. He is, in my opinion, the complete package. There's nothing he can't do. That's why he's my favorite Bridgerton sibling and why I fell hopelessly in love with him.

His love story with Sophie came second for me. I watched the show first, fell in love with Ben and then read his book. And I nearly chucked it into a fire. In my opinion his book and and show versions are so wildly divergent they may as well be two different people. Book!Benedict's flaws are well documented - the misogyny, toxic manipulation, violence, flippancy, selfishness, on and on... And the plot itself had plenty I didn't like - Sophie was passive and hollow, the sex and romance was toxic, some plotlines were nonsensical, some exposition was lazy. But the skeleton of a grand love story was still there, to Julia Quinn's credit. And when I imagine show!Benedict dropped into that plotline, it has so much potential to be beautiful and as you say: magical.

At it's core, Benophie's love story is uncomplicated. Especially in comparison to the other Bridgerton siblings. So many of the stories center around couples fighting with and/or denying love of their spouses until a deus ex machina comes along and resets their perspective - literally Daphne, Anthony, Colin and Eloise and I havent read the last 3 books so I can only imagine the pattern may repeat 😅 And Benophie do fight over Sophie's hidden identity but it never undermines Benedict's love for her. It's tropey as hell but they fell in love at first sight and never stopped loving each other. It is the issue of class and society that creates complications for their marriage, not their own miscommunications and misunderstandings. To me, that makes their story the most compelling, with the most satisfying pay off.

There is also the visual and action-oriented aspect of their romance. Imagine the sparkling delight of a midnight masquerade. The cozy interior of a country cottage. A glimpse at the 'downstairs' world of servants within the ton. These are realms only Benophie's story dives into. And so much happens other than conversations and balls. A thwarted attack, a nighttime dash through the rain, nursing back to health, lakeside flirtation, sneaking around the Bridgerton household, a chase in the London streets, fight sequences in a jail. There is - A LOT going on to hold one's interest. (I beg of you to tell me one 'action' sequence Polin had other than Pen falling out of a carriage 😜)

Again, when I picture show!Ben in this plot (or something similarly adapted) I am so frickin excited to see Luke Thompson blow us all away with his performance. I also hold out hope that Sophie can be fleshed out and given more agency as a character in the show. Her profile is starkly different from any of the other Bridgerton spouses, growing up cast into the servant class. It's important to expanding the world to show how people outside of the ton lived in this era and she is our vehicle to do that.

So while I fully acknowledge the story is modeled on the tired Cinderella trope, if I stop thinking about it as a paint-by-numbers fairytale, and cast the leads as show!Ben and a dynamically written Sophie, I see a story with immense potential to entertain, full of passion, perseverance, social struggle, action and unwavering love. Yeah, love-at-first-sight is cheesy in theory, but in the world of Bridgerton with show!Benedict waiting for us at a sparkling silver-themed masquerade? I think we're all going to fall irrevocably in love on sight 😉 That's the promise the show holds and I keep my fingers crossed they deliver.

(But just in case they don't, or if anyone is curious on my 'fixes' to the book, I am rewriting it in my fic Let Me Be Your Anchor which I am working to finish soon. The whole idea is plopping show!Ben into the book story and giving Sophie more to do.)

Thank you again for this ask! Sorry for the tome - I had a lot of fun answering 😅💙

[fonulyn]

got tagged by @goodpointsandbadpoints and @silvercap so here we go :3

When did you start writing?

really depends on the definition of writing, but i've been writing stories in notebooks from the moment i actually learned to write. the first one i remember was about a friend group of dogs going on adventures lol. it was nine notebooks long and my poor teacher was too nice to say no so he had to read it all.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I enjoy historical fiction but I don't have the patience for the research it'd require so I won't write it. uhm. idk I read various genres but I basically only write fluffy fic so :'D i do have a fantasy project in finnish but i haven't touched it in years, so idk if it counts.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

no. I love reading different styles, and I've learned a lot from just reading authors who have very different ways of saying what they want to say. but I don't want to emulate any of them. I will do what feels organic to me.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

usually on my couch in front of the tv with the laptop on my lap lol. I don't really write by hand or on my phone unless it's a random idea I need to jot down quick and I'm not on my laptop then. the tv is always on, i need the background noise.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

lmao well that is the million dollar question, isn't it. usually going for a walk with the dog or on a longer car ride alone helps, it forces me to spin things in my brain bc there's nothing else to do. (but it can also backfire and I spiral into never wanting to write again lol) inspiration strikes at very random moments tbh. i haven't yet found much rhyme or reason in that.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

at the core, it's always about love and acceptance, learning to receive it, or craving it and not getting it. self-worth. loneliness. finding your support system. idk in general I am happy with my life but I do get lonely often and it shows, because if I can't get a good cuddle from someone who loves me then damnit the character i'm writing about sure as hell will get it! :'D

What is your reason for writing?

there are stories inside of me that need a way out.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

uhm. I want them to feel the feelings i'm trying to get across with my words. connect with the characters. and enjoy the story I want to tell.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

characterization and dialogue. soft moments where people connect. pacing, usually. hm.

How do you feel about your own writing?

i don't care how selfish this sounds lmao they're the stories i want to read and i love them. simple as that. i give me exactly what i want :'D

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

so this is my biggest weakness when it comes to writing because i can not write only for myself. i can't be a "desk drawer writer" (like the saying goes in finnish lol). that is precisely why I haven't made any progress with my fantasy trilogy (lol) in finnish in years and years, because no one i know wants to read it (fantasy is not their genre, no shade to them). i need an audience, even if it's just one person! but at the same time i am not willing to budge on what i think makes a good story lol. so in a way i do write what makes me happy but to find the motivation to finish things i'd also need to find someone who gives a crap.

but anyway.

not tagging anyone, do it if you feel like it and say i tagged you! ;)

[mellointheory]

I would like to knowww three things that inspire you!

oooh in regards to inspiration i am a very anxious person trying to stabilize my mentality/life by taking on traits i admire so ill list my inspirations as follows

1. animals! i like how pure and selfish they are, sorta. no shame no guilt. eat, kill, protect. im a big fan of hyenas specifically and trying to approach my life with the reminder that i am just another animal is very calming/motivating to me

2. any character/archetype that’s like depressed hedonist core. if that makes sense. i like the idea of deciding nothing matters really so might as well enjoy what you can and not gaf about what’s out of ur control!

3. my pets. i like taking care of things i think it makes me cool, i like the idea of being someone strong enough to rely on. i guess i extend that to the people around me as well, and a lot of the things i do to improve my life come from recognition that I need to have my shit in order to be a good owner, regardless of what im taking ownership of

[saintbleeding]

Saint. Best beloved. Give me number 8 in the spicy takes meme. Obviously for tma. Be correct about sth. You know you want to. 😘

8: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

ough............... ok at the risk of this being like. legitimately combative (and with the disclaimer that i love him he is me i am he and i would not ever change a thing about him in either a watsonian or doylist sense).

i dont think jon did Literally Nothing Wrong per se? i think, esp in like, s1-3, he chooses what is essentially the best and most sensible option from where he's standing at the time and i fully understand and under similar circumstances would act in accordance with his actions. but i think the aspect of jon-related conversation, jonversation if you will, that i really don't agree with, or at least find any personal interest in, is that which kinda suggests that he's never acting in a selfish or misguided or even dysfunctional way? because i don't think that's true.

to be clear, i think he's a deeply, deeply caring character who does genuinely want to do things to protect and strengthen and help other people. one hundred percent. but i think one of the conflicts at his core, regardless of what one may think of as the reasoning behind it, is the conflict between that great capacity for caring about and loving others and his frequent inability to go about it in ways that do actually benefit others, or even that do keep him safe, whether we're talking physically or psychologically. i think he, like a Lot of people, especially those with early traumas, learned at some point in his life that an apology must demonstrate remorse, and the optimal way of doing that is by flagellating. so it's truly not any sort of wilful, or even knowing, malice or dysfunction. he is, as he almost always is, doing the best he can with the information from which he's working, but i also think that doesn't mean he's never done wrong or done harm, just that it isn't driven by any sort of desire to hurt.

also (i didnt mean for this to be this long but i had another thought wah) i think a further complication is that when he is acting in an intentionally (or at least, not unintentionally) self-sabotaging or self-harming way, from what we see he feels and enacts the self-loathing after the fact in quite a similar way. again, this is a pretty huge extrapolation, but i think he probably grew up in an environment where all his wrongs were treated as exactly equal, and so he actually feels comparable levels of guilt regardless of the finer points of the infraction itself. that could reasonably explain the consistency in him but. i guess what im saying is my man contains. multitudes. and to me personally the times he falls short are some of the most intriguing.

[gildedmuse]

Give me your top 3 ZoLaw songs please

Quick note: I don't care what gender a song is about, to me gender is so easy to change out. It's easy for me to imagine the characters who fit the song regardless of the gender the singer is or who they're singing about. I think that's true for everyone but then you meet weird people who care. Not me. No fucks. If the title of the song was "She's a Green Haired Three Sword Weilding Slut With A Death Wish And I Love Her" I dare you not to picture ZoLaw.

Call My Name by The Unlikely Canidates

I keep my heart / Under the floorboards / Deep in the dark / Far away from yours / A panic starts, in a little box / When you're at my door / And it's fine, no, I lied, I feel it screaming / It knows what you've come for

The imagery here, with a heart actually being removed and hidden away, is pretty on the nose but f you ignore that the song really captures what I think of as Law's whole "I am cursed, people cannot love me and if they do, they will die" thing. Like did you see Law's reaction to hearing that Corazon saved him not out of selfishness or for some greater purpose but because he LOVED him. That fact shakes Law to his core. And the way he just sent his crew to Zou without telling them he didn't think he was going to come back, that he thought he was going to die. That speaks to someone who does not see himself as being loved.

Even when he returns to them, he is clearly happy to see them but he is also very restrained. It all speaks to someone who is very guarded what the his heart, and I think this song captures that. Specifically, I think it both tells a story of somehow who is protecting their heart, who sees anyone trying to love them almost like an attack, and finally there is an undercurrent that while he is hiding his heart from being hurt he is doing so to protect the other person.

Your pale blue eyes trigger innocence / And blind to euphoria / Then it throbs and I'm lost, I hear it laughing / My heart will destroy us

I just think it really manages to capture how Law would feel about love. First, as an attack he needs to defend himself against and secondly as something he needs to protect the other person against.

And that's why I'd put it as one of my top Law songs.

Heart Of A Dog by The Kills

I get lost / But I always come around / It's a strange fear / Allows me to be found / I'm loyal, oh oh, I'm loyal / I'm loyal, oh oh / I got the heart of a dog

Since the first one was very Law oriented, have a Zoro inspired addition. I mean, do I even have to explain this? Look at those lyrics.

I do admit, this is one that works much better for All Hearts than maybe general ZoLaw, but I would argue that seeing as being loyal is so engrained in Zoro's character, it still works even outside of the context of Zoro being Law's first mate. I think a core element of Zoro that makes him so popular is just how ride or die he is. Once he is on this crew, he is on this ship, he's going along for the ride and the only way you'll get him off is death. That's just who Zoro IS.

That's who he is as a crew mate, and I have to believe that is who he would be as a lover. Even on a more canon reading where he isn't actually on Law's crew or ship, I don't think Zoro has it in him to love someone and NOT give it all himself. That's just not how he works.

Once he's set on Law, he's set on Law, and nothing short of his heart not beating will change that.

It's life or death why I chew through the chain / It don't matter my love's the same

Crazy Possessive by Kaci Battaglia

Touch my man again and Imma f*** you up, and Imma f*** you up

Listen to this song then imagine Law when ever Luffy wraps himself around Zoro.

Listen to it and imagine any modern AU and Doffy setting a SINGLE FINGER on Law.

Tell me these two would not fuck people up for DARING to try and cross the line.

Bonus!

Go Places by The New Pornographers

Yes a heart should always go one step too far / Come the morning and the day winding like dreams / Come the morning every blue shade of green / Come with me, go places

This should just be on every Captain x Anyone ship from OP playlist ever. That's just facts.

Come head-on, full circle / Our arms fill with miracles / Play hearts, kid, they work well Like magic, play aces / Stay with me, go places

—💚—

Also, looking at it now, my ZoLaw playlist is very All Hearts oriented. Like that's the name of my ZoLaw playlist so...

And yes, of course I have a ZoLaw playlist. I have seven different One Piece lists. That's how I roll.

[illegiblewords]

I might futz around more, but I decided to do a character thought experiment.

Basically--if I was going to make characters with specific purposes in-mind (ex. pairings, plots) what do I think would be a fun or interesting option?

Details under the cut.

Order is literally just to try and make things look nice lol, but starting from top left:

Human lore bard, sage background. Paired with Karlach. I wanted to go in a lighter/golden direction visually to contrast with Karlach's red and blacks, and I figured it'd be fun to have a character who is RIDICULOUSLY intellectual with no street smarts at all finding balance against Karlach. I also didn't want to go the wizard route because differentiating from Gale seems important. Character is used to hearing and telling stories about huge events and maybe romanticizes a bit, but has more limited life experience. Meanwhile Karlach has been through way too much bullshit and just wants to appreciate small and ordinary things.

Githyanki monk, soldier background. Paired with Laez'el. Basically a githyanki who comes from similar life experiences but found the approach to training psychologically destructive even as it honed the body. Frames it more as a matter of efficiency than moral discontent--at least initially. Wound up enlisting as a monk instead as an opportunity to test whether he could become useful there. As a pair I figure there could be something interesting in having Laez'el with someone who shares common experiences and culture, but challenges her sometimes from within. She talks at times like she is the voice of the githyanki as long as she's among non-githyanki, but changes dramatically when other githyanki disagree with her. So think exploring that could be neat.

Asmodeus tiefling fiend-pact warlock, charlatan background. Paired with Wyll. Was trying to think about what would be the most dramatic and interesting sort of pair I can imagine in terms of dynamic for Wyll given he is a heroic-to-the-core kind of guy. Realized for me the answer was 1) a troll 2) someone who mirrors him as a fiend-pact warlock specifically, but revels in it. I figure a tiefling who embraced every terrible thing she was accused of, embraced her fiendish heritage, and has become a trickster who advances by fooling others could offer an angle to bring a bit of balance to both characters. She's kind of an asshole and can be selfish, but it's more a response to being told constantly she is those things and nothing she does to the contrary will change that. So she tries to at least enjoy it in the meantime. Wyll, meanwhile, is prone to focusing on the big picture to the exclusion of individual and personal, tends to be very into the classic hero figure. Having him adopt the devil visage while being with a tiefling who already has prominent hellish features she plays into seems like it would also be visually and thematically really interesting to me. Wyll being all 'I have spikes where there should not be spikes' while talking to someone with a tail just hits different.

Mephistopheles tiefling great old one-pact warlock, urchin background. Paired with Gale. This is my main for Baldur's Gate 3 and I've talked about her before somewhat. I find the idea of a tiefling who is uncomfortable with her fiendish heritage but has no problem pacting with an elder evil interesting haha. There's still menace and iffy morality but the flavor is very different. For this girl I specifically am running with a Hadar pact. Tentacles, the ocean, space, and stars all over the place. When most tieflings and fiends are strongly associated with fire, I wanted that to take a back seat to cold water here. For foiling with Gale it seemed fun to have a different type of magic user who isn't academic in the way that wizards are, contrasting not only the relationship with Mystra but how their magic operates respectively. Emphasis on mental vs emphasis on physical. I've also woven in questions surrounding 'if you love them let them go' versus 'did you honestly think losing you wouldn't hurt' where this character has a history of fumbling that.

Mephistopheles tiefling draconic bloodline sorcerer (white dragon), dark urge background. I figured it would be fun to take the white dragonborn angle dark urge gets and weave that into a tiefling for a divine/infernal vibe. I figure the Bhaal angle helps make sense of the blood combinations a bit. In transparency the story for this one is rougher compared to other concepts here, but I was kind of shocked and excited by how the design turned out. I think besides having room to play into a 'classic dark urge' vibe (if that makes sense) this is an example where I'd probably put extra emphasis on the question of identity and how much of the dark urge is simply who he is versus something inflicted. Might pair with Gale just because I'm a simple creature and I like Gale/would be interested in seeing how dynamic goes with dark urge firsthand.

Half-drow cleric of Ilmater, dark urge background. Paired with Astarion. Besides the wild irony of a child of Bhaal being a cleric of Ilmater specifically (which--points to how against-his-will the dark urge would have to be), I'm aware of Asterion's unanswered prayers while in captivity to Cazador. I think there are layers that could make the setup complicated and interesting on both individual and relationship dynamic levels. Half-drow because drow face a lot of assumptions about their alignment while half-elf gives some added uncertainty of place.

Half-elf Selunite cleric, noble background. Paired with Shadowheart. On the surface exactly as snooty and insufferable as she feared. Guy grew up heavily embedded in the divination and dreams aspect of his goddess, but this wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Bad omens and opportunists combined for a very cynical person. This guy was bitter, spiteful, and corrupt for a while before pissing Selune off enough that she confronted him with the consequences of his actions and the reality that things could be better if he bothered to put effort in. Notably does not carry connotations of purity in the way Selune often does, but instead offers a blood moon or lunar eclipse to guide those who are lost. Figure the fun and irony available in messing with Shadowheart alone is worth it here though lol.

Wood-elf rogue thief, criminal background. Paired with Halsin. Wanted to take a fellow wood elf but for drama and headaches she really isn't in-touch with nature at all haha. The city is her environment and she's well-adapted to its workings. I think it could be fun to have her offer positive perspective on how cities operate to contrast with Halsin's bond to nature, and to let the two of them balance each other out. Also just imagine Halsin with a fast-talking bad bitch.

Human necromancer wizard, sage background. Paired with the Emperor. Morally iffy, probably an aspiring lich on the down low, likely has major control issues in the sense of 1) not wanting to be controlled by anyone or anything else and 2) embraces control over the living and dead alike as a means of ensuring that. Probably co-exists with ascended Astarion and might do an evil run without being the dark urge. Mainly would prefer not to become an illithid because of possible loss of identity, soul destruction, and the requirement of eating brains.

[kiseiakhun]

Carolkyle is like. Not even good taste, bad execution, it was just Bad, but it still makes me crazy. Carol and Hal love each other so much it literally made Carol an avatar of love, and every time they try to be together it is always, always the most miserable godawful experience of their lives. Here is her, trying to move on, except she's moving on with the worst person imaginable just to get a rise out of Hal, because if she tried it with Guy or John, Hal could just get mad at them, but Kyle was instrumental in saving Hal from himself. One of Hal's core beliefs about Kyle is that Kyle is a better person than him, so of course Carol would choose Kyle, Hal would choose him too. And Carol needs someone to love in order to keep being star sapphire. She literally told this to kyle. She's like "idk if I actually love you but I need to be in love to use my ring" and Kyle was just like <3 okay! Like it's so. It's So.

It's like. What if I love you just to force myself to move on because I can't stay in this rut. What if I love you just to hurt the one I love the most, who's forever out of my reach. What if we both had our lives irrevocably changed by the same man, and just thinking of him hurts but I can't let go so I'll love someone else in a way that looks like moving on but it's still centred around him. There's a third person in our relationship. I'm comparing you to him. You're comparing yourself to him. You're comparing me to him. I'm too selfish to let him go but he's left me too many times for me to make him stay.

Like the sheer levels of misery and awful coping mechanisms here are incredible. Carol's like "I am using you" and Kyle's like "my life is such a trash fire I am one lit match away from combusting, please use me and distract me from the ordeal of obtaining godhood for the second time in my life, dear god [who is me] [again] [I simultaneously want the validation of being given power but I crumple under the responsibility that comes with it because I know I'm not worthy] [I'm not good enough. I want to be good enough. I want to deserve this but I don't. Isn't it the same with love? I keep reaching for fulfilment but it always goes wrong. Something always happens and it's always my fault, because I'm not enough, I'm still not enough yet. Why am I here. Why do I have this mantle. I reach for power because I want to prove that I'm worthy and I can keep the people I love close to me but I'm not. I can't. It always slips through my fingers but I still keep trying because what else can I do? I can't give up or it'll all be for nothing. Every waking moment the yawning void of my misery threatens to swallow me whole and the deaths that have gotten me here weigh on my soul. When I finally die I don't know if I'll be judged worthy. But still I keep trying. I have to believe that one day it'll all be worth it because if I don't I'll just break and shatter and I won't be able to piece myself back together, not this time] I just want to feel joy about one thing in my life.

[goshen-applecrumbledore]

(apologies in advance if this ask is overly personal or presumptuous or anything else along those lines. i do not wish to make assumptions or project onto your work and process, this is a clumsy, grammatically poor attempt at appreciation that i am feverishly typing while waiting for my train home)

despite being fandom...aligned(?) for well over a decade, i've never been able to enjoy fanfiction the way many seem to do. i'm not really a big Shipper, at least not in a "i want my faves to fuck and get married and be endgame" way. if anything i've always gravitated towards messy gay unspoken divorce between dependent freaks who were never even married in the first place. right person wrong time or whatever tumblr would consider that hybrid of vulnerable possession and rehearsed disgust.

back in 2020, i was losing my mind over not being able to read any books that i hadn't already committed to memory, so i opened ao3 for the first time since high school and stumbled across your Yakuza fics and read them all in one sitting. reading your fics and your interpretation of kazumaji (and daigo's entanglement with that) almost brought me to tears at 3:00 am on a monday morning. it was the first time i saw someone represent their relationship in a way that made sense to me, in a way that felt *real*.

flash forward a bit later and i am overjoyed to see your Venture Bros fic, falling in love with your interpretation of brock/rusty just like i did with kazumaji (i have this fic downloaded, i revisit it at least once a month and think of it an embarrassing amount).

and just now, i finished reading both of your fics for The Bear. once again-- loving your interpretation of them as well. and also somehow only now seeing you have a tumblr.

this is all a very insufferably drawn out way to say that i truly adore your writing in every aspect! specifically, the way you write sex is nothing short of beautiful. it's a display of communication, something teetering between impulse and years of planning-- wholly vulnerable and oftentimes sickeningly selfish. an act that exposes your core in a way so specific to its nature that you can devour someone and still look them in the eyes afterwards and deny you even care. i adore your use of time during these scenes as well. physically, fucking (generally) doesn't take that long, but there's a mental battle of trying to stay in your body to commit every touch to memory when your head is floating off to think of every conversation, every glance, *everything* that led to that moment.

i was only able to read the preview chapter of a yakuza original book you had linked in the notes of one of the Yakuza fics and i believe it has since been removed, but i'll be waiting for whatever book you write in the future. patiently and with all the love a reader can possess <3

hello! wow this is all so incredibly kind, thank you. I don't even know what to say. I like my yakuza fics a lot, I'm glad they still hold up. and that venture bros fic is somehow one of my favourite things I've written, not sure why.

your paragraph about writing sex is so eloquent that I'm like, bashful over it lol. that is very much what I'm trying to get at- vulnerable, selfish, devouring. getting stuck in your head or checking out. I don't think I always nail it, but it's great to hear that I do sometimes. I'm never totally confident in my sex scenes especially.

that book is not for sale anymore, it's something I came up with when I was young and self-published it and I don't sell anymore. it was about a gang of goons in a city in ontario that I don't think I explicitly say is thunder bay. it does have a goodreads page, which I'm thrilled by but which obviously SUPER over-rates it cause it's got gay content that tumblrinas love. it was not a good book. my next one will be good and real. thank you for your enthusiasm

[cowboy-robooty]

hiyaaa i was looking through ur art and was wondering if u could elaborate on why u think prumano would be toxic and evil if they were dating anyone else. 😀 thank youuuu! i <3 ur hcs in case u couldnt tell

hello my loyal prumanohead. it has been literally 2 months since you asked this i am so sorry i did that to you. not even gunna get into what happened my lord anyways okie LETS ANSWER DIS BAD BOY!!!

ANYWAYS OMIGAWD I LOVE PRUMANO SO SO SO see i actually talked all about this with my bruder LMV (user lucianoirlmurdervictim) like an hour ago on minecraft but theyre made for eachother because prussia is too stupid to die from romanos aids and romano is too insane to die from prussias aids. prussia is a terrible boyfriend. hes loud hes direct he doesnt think before he does things and above all he cant fucking take a hint ever hes an idiot he never THINKS but hes always like yay!!! 360 noscope gamer time! hes loud and just constantly parties and has fun no matter what and thats what makes him able to survive romano, an even worse boyfriend. romano is fucking psychotic. that bitch is constnatly on PMS he is an idiot he is a tsundere but a violent and cruel at that. its always his way or the highway and he gets mad at literally everything at all times but see prussua is too fucking stupid to feel damage when romano hurls insults at him and tries to make him die because everyone already does that to prussia so he just goes "DAWWWEEE I LOVE YOU ROMANO CHAN!!! <3" romano to prussia is basically a "nobody can bully you but me" boyfriend except prussia doesnt even think hes being bullied at all so they end up matching perfectly bc prussia's ignorance in relationships acts as an antidote to romanos violence and romanos violence ends up just making him pay attention to prussia at all times and prussias like OMIGAWD HE DIDNT LEAVE ME ON READ OR GHOST ME!!!! 😍😍. i actually think that prumano is really funny because romano wants to be really toxic and evil but is just too stupid to be able to and prussia is too stupid to get trapped by it. like because i wrote a whole prumano bible post before that i assume youve read but to reiterate i think prumano is special together because romano is able to learn the joys of loving instead of only desiring to be loved. because prussia loves him and because he doesnt care abt romanos insanity it feels like an unconditional love and its able to make romano chill out on his desperate need to be a pillow princess (since he doesnt have to fight for it for once) and realize that he enjoys loving prussia too. he wants to be the one who makes prussia smile too. romano learns he desires prussia because he likes seeing him happy too not only because he likes when prussia makes ROMANO happy. i think in most relationships romano has at the core he usually mainly likes people because they like him, not because he really likes them. so because prussia unlocks this true love shit in romano by being a tone deaf idiot whos constantly selfish and clingy to romano even when hes furious, romano gets his possessiveness HARDCORE. since i believe that romano inherently has a possessiveness built in him because yknow hes the fail italy brother mf literally gets NOTHING for his entire life. he dont even get the name italy hes fucking romano rodf. i think romano is very possessive towards prussia even though he constantly tries to kill him and because of that and his general inexpereince in relationships and his tsundereism it mixes together to make him actually have pretty toxic intentions because he genuinely loves prussia. i think hes the type of fella to be like "grrr.... i dont like when prussia is spending so much time with other people... hell no im not gunna tell him i miss him thats some fucking gay shit... i think instead i will punish him everytime he talks to his friends so he'll do that less. yes thats a very normal thing to do." and obviously you can see how that could lead to a super duper toxic relationship all bc romano refuses to communicate and i think in relationships with other people it would end up becoming toxic bc the other person would obviously catch on and become isolated n shit and all the bad shit would happen. but not prussia he built stupid 😍 because prussia doesnt notice when romano is being exceptionally mean to him as a punishment bc he just cant pick things up since hes too wrapped up in his own world. he cant pick up subtle queues from his partner so hes like la de da with romano

and doesnt get manipulated at all to become isolated or anything. plus romanos way of manipulating is fucking stupid and terrible too because he only thinks of trying to pavlovs dog other people to get what he wants or make them think theyre cursed unless they do what he wants without telling them what he wants. so hell punish/curse prussia by like putting spiders in his drinks secretly and thinks to himself "heh. that should teach him. next time hell know he should be only smiling at ME" and prussia just thinks that maybe he should change his name to spider georg after accidentally swallowing the 15 spider in a row. so really. i guess because romanos so incapable at manipulation it wouldnt really be hed be a toxic boyfriend more like just make life insufferable (on top of the fact ur dating romanos personality). so anyways though. i hope this answered ur question idk i kinda rambled abt prumano bc rn its hard to explain the intricucies of how they are perfect for eachother because they are the antidote to eachothers aids. but i hope you get what im sayin here 😍 i think actually prumano is like the mirror evil version of itager, but thats a whole nother post and maybe ill write it if someone asks me or if i feel like it. they make me crazy asf okay i lovee prumano i should write a prumano fanfic romano chan is so crazy hes so #girl they love eachother FOREVER <3

heres a old doodle of italy i did to test a pen. sorry i need to answer this now or else ill never answer it ever so i cannot get up rn and draw prumano or else this ask will be answered probably never 💔

[sihtricsimp]

Modern!Revolution!Sihtric x Femme!OC

Chapter 1

Warnings: Death, war, guns, shooting, death

Based on this photo (thanks to one of my fellow Nowallian mutuals for finding it for me <3)

Most people would be thrilled to be one of the top pilots from one of the most powerful nations in Europe. Ellia, however, was growing tired of being perfect all the time. Growing tired of their leader seemingly doing nothing about the invading Northmen, spouting peace like it was gospel, yet continuing the hellish war effort as if Satan had possessed him. His war with the incoming Danes, who just wanted a new home after theirs was almost destroyed by storms, his refusal to acknowledge the rebellion so clearly growing right under his nose. It almost made one want to join the rebellion oneself.

But, just like everyone else, Ellia had grown used to her position, afraid of what might happen if they lost even a little of their power. People she had trusted and thought were good to their core were now selfish and complacent, not caring about the lives of their soldiers. General Athelflead, leader of the RAF and daughter to their ever-gracious leader, King Alfred, was one of those people. She had taught Ellia how to fly and was the one to give her the callsign of "Finch". A small bird was perfect for the shortest, and as some of the men would say, prettiest Commander in the Royal Air Force.

General Aethelflead brought Ellia out of her thoughts with a "Well, what do you think, Finch?"

Ellia placed her helmet down on the table with a sigh, "I think it's another suicide mission. Juker, Scramble, Uno, and I just barely survived our last mission to the Danish foothold. We lost eight good pilots in a single dogfight. We should focus on peace talks with Prime Minister Aethelred in Mercia so we can reinforce our dwindling presence in Northumbria!"

"I am well aware of the dire situation in Northumbria," Aethelflead said, "but we can't send the forces there without risking our own borders to the Danes. My father would never approve of the mission, you know this."

"Just because I know it, doesn't make it right." Ellia looked at her mentor, who rose her eyebrows expectantly. "But yes, if it is our holy duty from God, we shall carry it out."

Athelflead nodded. "You leave at 0600 tomorrow. Take the remainder of your squad. Since this is a stealth mission, you can use the new S-40s."

"But we haven't had much-" Ellia was about to protest when Aethelflead raised a hand.

"You and your squad are dismissed, Finch." Aethelflead used her other hand to rub her temple in frustration. "You will need ample time to prepare, will you not?"

"Yes, ma'am." Ellia tried to not let her tone become sarcastic as she saluted the General, and marched towards the barracks, the rest of the squad following suit.

On their way to the barracks, they passed by the War Room, a name given somewhat affectionately to the main meeting room of the facility. It was where all the important meetings took place, and from the look of things, the King was holding an important one. Ellia and her squad were fully intent on just walking past. None of them, Ellia, in particular, had the patience to deal with the incompetence and idiocy of the King and his other generals. King Alfred, sitting side on to the door, had other ideas.

"Ah, Commander Ellia, is it? Just the pilot I wanted to see!" He said looking up from the war table. Of course, he had to be sitting right by the open door.

Ellia suppressed a sigh. Here was the man who was responsible for her friends' deaths. Yet, she could do nothing about it unless she wanted to join her fallen comrades in whatever came next.

"Yes sir, Commander Ellia Goldstrum, callsign Finch, at your service." She gave a quick salute, her three squadmates following suit.

"At ease, ladies." The King stood and motioned for the squad to enter the room. As they did so, Ellia noticed the distinct lack of anyone else other than old white men in the room. With Athelflead out on duty, the major war decisions were being made by crusty Generals who hadn't seen real combat since before Ellia was born. "I know you four have had some contact with the rebellion while on your last flight?" The King continued.

"No, sir, those were Danes we fought. They flew Danish planes that carried Danish insignia, and wore Danish uniforms." Ellia was quickly loosing patience. To be sent on the same suicide mission the following day by the daughter, to then be questioned about the first mission by the father.

"We have credible intelligence from my nephew that the Danes have a shaky alliance with the Rebellion, so they are using Danish equipment." Alfred, as per usual, was calm and composed, even when talking about the savages on the other side.

It made sense that the Danes and the Rebellion would ally themselves, they both had a vendetta against Alfred. The shakiness also seemed correct, as the leader of the Rebellion was known to most as the Daneslayer.

"So you want us to go and confirm this intelligence, then?" Ellia guessed. The crown had a habit of telling its soldiers where to fly and who to fight without saying why, expecting blind loyalty until the last breath. This tracked with Ellia's experience with Christianity. Blind faith without question. Ellia was quite comfortable living in hidden godlessness, knowing there was no risk of burning eternally for her, just the calm nothingness of the void.

After a pause, the King replied, "Yes, we need the intelligence confirmed, but we didn't want you to know in case you got captured by them. They don't need to know that we know about their alliance."

"Can do, sir." Was the only words Ellia could get out without losing her cool. The only reason they were risking their lives was to confirm intelligence? Something spies could easily have done? It was bullshit.

"Dismissed, ladies. You'll need all the rest you can get for tomorrow." The King raised his hand, shooing them away, before turning back to his council. They started talking as Ellia and her squad marched away, but they were all engrossed in their own thoughts to hear what was said.

Ellia only relaxed when they got back to their shared barracks near the flight deck. There were two bunk beds, and they each got a draw to themselves in the dresser, the only other piece of furniture in the room. The higher-ups reckoned they didn't need to waste money on a window to the outside world when their pilots were spending all day in the air regardless.

"I want to defect to the Daneslayer's rebellion more with each passing mission" Juker complained, once they were safely back in their shared bunk room, out of the earshot of their superiors. "I mean, we're flying the exact same path as we did last time, the path that got Candy and Wolf's squads downed." Everyone was draped across their bunks, Juker above Ellia, and Uno above Scramble.

"You find us the rebellion stronghold, and I'll be right there with ya, Juker." Scramble joked, flicking through the same 'Kilted Men' magazine she'd had since forever, a smile on her face.

Leaning over her bunk to look at Scramble, Uno laughed, "Ha! Good luck, their base is harder to find than I am to beat at card games!" Uno always bragged about her winning streak in every card game they played, specifically in her callsign namesake, that was only still a streak because everyone refused to play with her.

"Ya know, I'm still convinced ya cheat every time." Scramble glanced up from her magazine to roll her eyes at Uno.

Uno gasped, her hand going to her forehead, pretending to faint. "Me? Cheat? Why, I would never!"

"Except for when you definitely dealt both Jokers into your hand in Scum," Juker added, getting an offended look from Uno.

"Multiple times, might I add." Ellia enjoyed joining in on her squad's antics, even if it was just one small jab in the middle of a faux argument. She watched the other three joke around, laughing their asses off at something another said, thinking of the love they had for each other. It had been a tough few years for them, and they all needed all of the love and laughter they could get.

Juker and Ellia had come from the same small village on the southern coast. They were only separated for a few months since joining the RAF when Juker crashed into a mountain after avoiding an enemy aircraft and had to hike back to base.

Scramble was from Ireland and had lost her husband somewhere along the way, their baby daughter dying from a chill while she made her way to Wessex with her. Uno, however, was born and raised in Wessex and used flying as a way to see the world and get out of her city life bubble.

Once the sun started to set, and they all had their nightly rations, Ellia called lights out.

"Oh, come on Finch, five more minutes?" Uno protested as Ellia reached for the switch.

"Do you want to be falling asleep at your yoke tomorrow, Uno?"

"I guess falling asleep at the controls a few thousand meters in the air would be bad for my health." Uno conceded, slipping under her sheets.

"Right, 0400 wake up call tomorrow morning, be ready ladies." Ellia turned the lights off, having received a resounding 'yes ma'am' from her squad.

The mission started off well. The S40s were able to climb higher, move faster, carry more ammo than the typical stealth jet, and had much better on board surveillance tech than the S30s. And they were fun to fly.

The squad was formed in a diamond shape, Ellia taking the lead position. Uno was to her left, Scramble on her right and Juker taking up the rear.

"We're coming up on the Danish settlement, Finch.” Juker said, “Break through these clouds and we should see it.”

“Copy that, Juker,” Ellia said. They were at the same location as last time, she recognised the longitude and latitude. She felt her chest sink out of sadness and anxiety. What if there was another ambush? Ellia couldn’t take losing another pilot. “Radio silence from now on, communicate by hand signals. Don’t want the heathens to know they’re being spied on by girls. Let’s just get in and out ladies.”

Ellia received thumbs up from her flanks, and she trusted Juker enough to know she’d listen. They flew in silence for most of the way, but something about this new silence felt heavier. Maybe it was the weight of their former friends and pilots sitting on their soldiers. Or maybe the very air the Danes breathed was toxic.

Ellia didn’t get time to dwell on it though, as they broke through the child’s high above the Danish base. They were high enough up to not be easily spotted by radar or the naked eye, but their powerful cameras allowed them to get a good view of the base.

She saw too much equipment for the Danish army around the base. A few more planes, plenty more trucks and boxes around the buildings, with doubtless more under cover.

The intel gathered by the King’s nephew was correct. The Rebellion had allied themselves with the Danes. Neither the Danes nor the Rebellion had this many resources individually.

Ellia noted down the number of planes and trucks she saw, and made her best approximation on the weapons caches she could see.

She was about to give the back to base signal when a red blip appeared on the edge of her radar. That usually meant a bogey, and they usually hung around. However, it disappeared almost as quick as it had appeared. Glancing to her right, Scramble gave a shrug. Ellia made the eyes up gesture to Scramble. She then turned to give the signal to Uno.

Suddenly, as if like a ghost, a Danish plane flew over Uno’s plane, then the rest of the squad. It had a custom paint job on it’s belly, a Mjolnir symbol, as far as Ellia could make out.

“Alright, comms back on, they know we’re here. Game faces, he might not be alone.” Ellia said, “we might not have much experience in these planes, but God be damned if we aren’t the best pilots in all of Britannia.”

Ellia’s eyes tracked the Danish plane, but it quickly disappeared into the clouds. It was a bad idea to follow it, since it could clearly hide itself from radar.

Before Ellia could even finish her thought, gunfire reigned overhead. The Dane had banked around to behind them.

“Break!” Ellia shouted, Banking left with Uno, Scramble, and Juker going to the right. The pilot had made a mistake, the pilot had alerted them to their presence too early, leaving the squad plenty of time to shoot at the pilot.

Ellia pulled her trigger, bullets flying through the air. The pilot dodged the bullets, pulling up only to reveal a second aircraft. Ellia barely had time to register the four leaf clovers adorning each wing before she herself was hit by the new contender.

The next thing she knew, she woke up, still strapped to her seat. The first thing she noticed was another wreckage next to her, one of her squad members it looked like. Ellia couldn't make out who it was, but whoever was inside wasn't moving.

She scrambled out of her plane as fast as she could and rushed over to the wreck, the adrenaline covering any pain Ellia doubtlessly had. She reached the wreck. Forced open the cockpit. Lifted the head of the pilot.

Ellia screamed, jumping back from the downed jet. Juker. It couldn't be Juker. Juker couldn't be gone. She was known for her evasive maneuvers. She couldn't have been shot down. If anyone was going to survive this mission, it was going to be her.

Ellia tried to compose herself as she climbed the wreck again, to check again. Definitely Juker. She dipped her ear to Juker's mouth. No breath. Tears streamed down Ellia's cheeks, scattering both hers and Juker's bloodstained flight suits.

As she took the dog tags from around Juker's neck, Ellia heard a twig snap behind her. She drew the gun from the holster on her hip, pointing at the noise.

"Commander, it's us..." Scramble said, hands raised.

"What's wrong, Finch?" Uno walked up to the edge of the wreck, "Why have you got Juker's dog tags?"

Ellia sat down on the edge of the cockpit, revealing Juker to the others. She broke down into sobs as they started crying too. Ellia, mid sob, slipped Juker's dog tags on and got down from the plane.

"Right," she sniffled, "Juker would want us to keep moving, find our way back. And I think I may need a bandage for my arm." Now that the adrenaline had worn off a bit, she could feel a good gash in her left arm, going from shoulder to elbow. "I think it's shallow at least, otherwise I would have bled out a while ago."

"You're right, we need to find shelter, and get your would cleaned." Scrambler wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"You think we can chance it with the Danes?" Uno joked. She always tried to lighten the mood, no matter how dire the situation was. They were stranded in enemy territory with no way to contact home, and no one coming after them.

"We have less of a chance with the Danes than you have at losing at cards," Scrambler replied.

Before they could come to a conclusion, a Danish pilot came into view from behind Juker's wreck.

"So you ladies come here often?" He said, his messy hair covering his eyes slightly.

"Who the fuck are you, Daneboy?" Ellia drew her gun for the second time, followed closely by the others.

"Commander Goldstrum, is it? My name is Sihtric Kjartansson, callsign Runt, with the Rebellion. I am to take you and your squad to the Daneslayer."

[fyodior]

Ahhh finally someone who also believes that (while being a murderer, terrorist, etc.) Fyodor has a good heart! As horrible as some people (fictional or real) are, I find it hard to believe that people can be purely and entirely evil at their core, with nothing good lying within them. I don’t believe that people just are evil, as in being born like that. People do horrible things because of their upbringing (believing that some bad things are normal), because of trauma, clinically psychological problems, actual brain damages/dysfunctions (e.g. being physically unable to feel empathy or remorse) etc., but I just cannot believe that some people are just bad.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to excuse horrible/abusive/etc. behavior or evil actions, nor am I saying that „all evil people are just hurt and need a hug, uwu“, but I don’t think that bad people are bad people „just because, for no reason“. I don’t believe selfishness and cruelty is the „true“ human nature. Humans are capable of that, but it’s not all they are. At least that’s what I believe.

(Babies cannot survive without affection and love, no one can tell me that humans have an evil and antisocial core and are only good if it’s beneficial for them! Fuck you, Thomas Hobbes.)

Fyodor would probably still manipulate me for his own benefit and then kill me before tossing my dead body into a ditch if he was real, but I don’t think he was born like that, you know?

FUCK U THOMAS HOBBES FORREAL ive only taken intro to philosophy but i still hate that man

and i genuinely agree i think for the most part people are born not evil. that's why there's "villain origin stories" and not like. "good person origin stories" slkjdsakl for someone who commits such heinous acts like fyodor-type characters there's something behind that. he definitely doesn't just do it for funsies or because he has nothing better to do. and this is a very poorly worded response but i get what u mean and i hope u get what i mean <3 and id happily let fyodor manipulate me idc

[iruludavare]

Thoughts on Silva :3

Send me "Thoughts on" + a Character name and my muse will give their opinions of that character || Accepting

"Silva... I'm not entirely sure, to tell you the truth,"

"There are times when I am fine around her-- when it's easy, or I feel like and want to take on an older sibling kind of role for her, like I would for the younger students at the academy all that time ago. She's very sweet, if not a bit misguided. We can reminisce on what few genuinely good memories we had with Lysandre, and that can be stabilising on some days. But on others... she unnerves me to my very core. It's no fault of her own-- I know that, and I would never want Silva to feel guilty for what I am about to say. She... Sometimes, I look at her and see nothing but the worst parts of Lysandre. The distance from humanity, the lack of regard, exploitation and experimentation all for the sake of a selfish goal... All of those have culminated into, well-- not Silva, herself, but her situation,"

"It makes me remember all of the times I spent with him-- good and bad. It brings what I once thought was a safe situation and something I found comfort in into question. Sometimes I can't look at her, because it's just too painful to even think of falling down that train of thought again or to sift through memories. Again, it's not her fault. It never will be. It's mine-- for not being strong enough to just... just seal it all away, I guess."

[sshbpodcast]

Top 3 Star Trek Voyager villains

By Ames

Invaders! Cower in fear this week on A Star to Steer Her By as we unleash some of the biggest masterminds, ne’er-do-wells, and other villains in this week’s blogtivity. We covered our more universal (and frequently more heroic) favorite characters from Voyager last week, and this week we’re conspiring with some of the baddest baddies from the Delta Quadrant. Mwahahaha!

This should be no surprise anymore. We did it for TOS, TNG, and DS9, so crawl into your favorite B-movie costume, prepare to engage in mutiny, and maybe grow a goatee for this week’s most villainous Voyager villains. Put up your dukes as you read on below, follow along with the master plan over on this week’s podcast episode (discussion at 1:01:56), and steeple your fingers thusly. Now that’s evil.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Ames – Wave after wave of our own men

Annorax

Arturis

Borg Queen

The diabolical plans of all of my picks are downright destructive when you get down to it. We see it with our Krenim friend, Annorax, whose beautiful timeship undoes so many people and only a patented Janeway Self Destruct™ can knock them out. We see it with the USS Dauntless, the fake Starfleet vessel programmed to get everyone’s ass assimilated, even if that means martyring Arturis in this revenge thing. And I can’t not see it in the Borg Queen, as I also did in TNG, when she willingly destroys her own ships to root out the beginnings of revolution.

—

Jake – Broken by circumstance

Annorax

Captain Ransom

Kashyk

Jake likes a villain who himself is a victim of a broader scheme, whether it be his own tragic backstory, his own people mutinying, or the player just plain getting played in his own game. So here are some more kudos for Annorax, who you can almost root for because his intentions are rational even if the execution is genocidal, for Captain Ransom whose displacement in the Delta Quadrant utterly ruined his crew, and for the double-crossing Kashyk who got thoroughly triple-crossed in just about every [Jane]way.

—

Chris – Mustache-twirlingly eeeevil!

Dr. Chaotica!

Kashyk

Warship Janeway

Chris is himself a cartoon character, so it only makes sense for him to pick some of the most over-the-top, Snidely Whiplash–adjacent, cartoonish villains for his list. Lean on that pipe organ as we introduce Doctor Chaotica!, with exclamation mark thoroughly intentional, as one of the most entertaining, least realistic villains we ever did see, but it’s a B-movie homage, so it’s okay. Let’s also bow before Kashyk, whose espionage skills rival a Bond villain’s, and Warship Janeway, the best mirror universe character not actually in the mirror universe!

—

Caitlin – Slimy scumbags, scummy slimebags

Henry Janeway

Penk

Dr. Kadan

Finally, all of the bad guys on Caitlin’s list are just scumbags to the core. They’re probably the most realistic villains on the show because we could see this level of corruption in a lot of people today. Dr. Kadan is just a kidnapping monster whose motivation is nothing but the capitalism of it all. Penk, played deliciously sleazily by Jeffrey Combs, is… also a kidnapping monster, etc. etc. And while Henry Janeway isn’t a kidnapping monster, per se, he also destroys a perfectly salvageable episode by being a selfish luddite who drags Shannon and Jason down with him.

— One more installment before we hit the Voyager finale and wrap up the series. What will we think? What will our favorite and least favorite episodes be? But I get ahead of myself: what will our favorite Voyager alien races be? Find out here next week! Also, obviously, follow along as we prepare to invade the Alpha Quadrant on the podcast, practice your maniacal laughter with us on Facebook and Twitter, and assimilate this!

[khorren]

Creation asks 4, 8, and 19 for Sienna, Yhalea, and Serenity!

@mystery-salad

Thank you for the ask. Muah. Super mega appreciated <3

4 - In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Sienna: Sienna just… existed for a while (as the big sister of Nat, but this changed to little sister), and for a very very brief spell was my Commander, but it felt too forced, and I wasn’t vibing with it. But within her current story, I suppose it’s exploring the Order of Whispers and how they actually operate and how people move up in the ranks. Yhalea: Once I was settled in with a story for her, and not just “heehoo, guardian pole dancing” it was Inquest stuff. I think what the Inquest do is absolutely terrible, but wanted someone who had tasted that world but then got the fuck out. Yhalea gets abandoned by the Inquest when a mission goes south, and being seen as expendable really really really cheesed her off. So when she forms the krewe with Aloreca she makes sure she’s never seen that way again (and tries to piss off the Inquest as much as possible) Serenity: Again, took a while for Serenity to fit into her backstory. Despite having a different name to the rest of the Fae family, I wanted to find a way to eventually connect her back to that name, but for it to take a really really long time for that to happen. It wasn’t until I retconned Ruby into being a bit of a selfish dick that this was really able to play out fully. Being involved in mysterious organisations within the world (Whispers, Shining Blade) helped play this along.

8 - What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

Sienna: Nothing really. Yhalea: Not being expendable. Finding “your people”. Serenity: No matter how much other stuff knocks you down, keep on going, stick to your guns, to your core, and keep on going.

19 - What is your favorite fact about your OC?

Sienna: She has two “looks” one of them being “I am the whispery whisperest Whisper agent around, what am I up to? You'll never know. Might just be buying a pint of milk.” and the other “just a gal” There’s no in between. Yhalea: Name was inspired by a friend’s OC. I think they were a mother of a bunch of werewolves? God it’s been like 9 years or something, I don’t remember the exact name of the OC, but I’m pretty sure I changed it up a bit. But yeah, it was sort of in recognition of my friend. “This OC makes me think of you” Serenity: Her existence and everything connected to it is probably some of the most lore-breaky stuff I have. I usually only go as far as lore-bendy, but it’s like I’ve dumped all my breaking into one gal and her other identities.