#i am not surprised by the cost it's about standard but i still don't have the money lol

[softgrungeprophet]

it's cause i turned on reminders for it and did not turn them off but kickstarter emailing me to remind me about the alex maleev artbook i can't afford is so 😩😭 if it was regular published at least i could say "maybe someday" but kickstarted seems unlikely

[mae-i-scribble]

I'm so so so happy that the anime is finally here!!!! I watched it as soon as I could even being exhausted after work and it was so worth it. Literally just a direct shot of happiness into my veins. I had a good feeling about the show after the trailers but as a long time manga fan I really am overjoyed that the show is doing it justice!! As a romantic comedy almost gag manga the show absolutely delivers. Some cuts feel a bit abrupt when they didn't need to be but there were also some perfectly timed shot cut aways that made everything so much better. I also really loved the little sound effects, like the beeps of confusion and the little angry noises in time to Hagi's angry expression signs dancing around him when Suo is revealed to be the "prince" of their school. Overall the animation is incredibly well drawn, with minimal motion in favor of putting emphasis on expressions. It can be a bit noticeable at times that they're def cutting down on production costs but overall it never took me out of the show or took away from the enjoyment of the comedy. It's more something I notice because I really love animation and will always keep an eye on it when watching any animated media. The voice acting in it is also fairly standard in regards to my expectations. From the initial trailers I wasn't too sure about Tokiwa's voice but watching this episode made me really appreciate it. I love the near constant underlying anxiety/confusion when it comes to him interacting with Suo, and in general his anxious noises are great fun. Kohaku's voice I was also pleasantly surprised by. From the trailers it sounded like they were going for a more stereotypical tsundere voice archetype for her. In the show itself though it's not nearly as aggressive and the inflection overall feels very true to her character. Everyone else's voices were excellently done! Those two are just the ones that surprised me in a good way. I also love love loved seeing the scene at the arcade that wasn't there in the manga. It just flowed so seamlessly and gave me more character moments with everyone which is exactly what I want. Anime please give me more of this in the future I will eat this up like candy. I want to do an anime/manga comparison sometime for fun but that's for another post. The opening/ending are both very fucking cute. I don't much care for the song choice but the animation for them both is perfect. I also love the way the two connect with the dancing aspect. In the opening in particular each pair is: Suo is as cool and collect as always while Tokiwa is high key embarrassed and having a time (tm)

Hagi and Kohaku who are both very bewildered (Hagi is definitely having another internal crisis) but doing their best

Asagi and Fuji who are just vibing together having fun

They also then do a really cool ending sequence with the girls in casual attire and the boys as plushies that also is just a great showing of their relationships. Kohaku choosing Hagi out via claw machine as a callback to that little dog he gives her during their first meeting and in the way that neither of them really appears to be the others type when it comes to attraction but are choosing to pursue something with each other for vairous reasons (spoilers but not so obvious with kohaku at this point but story definitely is leaning in that direction). In that regard Kohaku's nervousness is a really cute thing.

Then you get Fuji at the convention hall floor with Asagi sitting on her table when she pats his head. Really showing his dedication to helping her with her passion while showing Fuji's reserved way of expressing affection. For me it's also a fun way of showcasing his ignorance of what she actually draws XD

Notably, Suo is the only one of the girls still in drag- and spoilers ahead in this but that is most certainly with purpose. She's the one who changes her persona the most drastically between work and casual life with none of the struggle Kohaku has. As the manga goes on it's also incredibly clear that Suo keeps many walls up between herself and the people around her. And even when approaching Tokiwa, she is far more outgoing/pushy when masc presenting rather than fem presenting. Even in this shot, they're at the bar, her job, where she can be safe to express her interest under the disguise of her work persona coming on a little strong. But when left to her own devices, she just wants to watch Tokiwa fondly, not even reaching out to him or anything. (When are we getting the explanation for why Suo fell for Tokiwa so hard PLEASE i am on my hands and fucking knees)

Overall the anime is 11/10 I am so in love and am waiting eagerly for episode 2. I'm also so excited to see more fans who find this story via the anime because yes it deserves so much

[fairuzfan]

It’s “vote blue no matter who” but then you get Dems like Kyrsten Sinema, Joe Manchin, and John Fetterman or people like Tricia Cotham and Jeff Van Drew who switched parties and then it’s every excuse in the book as to why Dems can’t get shit done and just “vote harder.”

Dems did know that embracing disenchanted conservatives would push the party further right, and that’s precisely why centrists and the upper middle class liberals were all so excited to join ranks with “never Trump” republicans.

The issue is that voting is great and all in theory. Some of my family is residing in a country where you can't vote so like, having a say in your government?! That's great!

But I don't *really* have a say in my government when all the standard forms of calling and emailing are being flat out ignored. Sure I voted. But now what. Fetterman is a racist asshole that pretended to be "on the side of the oppressed" to get his position. Sinema is.... like that. Manchin is annoying as hell. And what, you're telling me "just wait til next election and they'll be gone"? Like at what point will this endless spiral of "it could be worse" honestly start benefiting anyone.

And people are saying "join unions or organize" as some sort of gotcha... Palestinians have been organizing for 75 years. The whole reason people know so much about Palestine is because we've been organizing for YEARS, have been participating in the system for YEARS. Sure I can unionize. Sure I can organize. But when absolutely no one takes you seriously in your government?? Then what are you supposed to do??

I still am an advocate for voting locally, but I honestly don't see the point in voting higher than that. I remember a comment in the "can't vote out fascism" post was saying "actual physical fascism is worse than passive fascism" and I'm like.... yeah for you maybe? I'm disabled and I've been mostly in my house for the past 3 years because I want to avoid COVID at all costs. Disabled people around the states have as well. People have been dying well before the past couple of months. Are you saying you'd rather have silent deaths than loud ones?

And another comment that really annoyed me and felt severely disconnected from reality was "Trump's Foreign Policy is the same if not worse than Biden..." Worse than funding a genocide...? Like I hate Trump so much and would never vote for him. But I also won't ever vote for Biden.

Also something that "Vote Blue" people don't realize.... Biden's already lost. I'm not saying this to be smug or anything. Many Muslims and SWANA immigrants vote PRIMARILY based on foreign policy. Like that's one of our main concerns. Every single election, we consider which person would be "better" for people overseas — this isn't me projecting, we talk amongst ourselves about it to make a decision. And these people live in major cities and swing states like Michigan in Dearborn and Detroit. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Illinois turns red next election. Many Palestinian refugees after the Nakba and Naksa settled in Chicago and the greater Chicago area. I've heard that people hate Fetterman so much that they're not voting for him next election or wanting anything to do with democrats anymore. Dems have completely neglected the Muslim and SWANA community and that will come back to bite them in the butt.

Like at this point, you should be thinking of what to do when Trump becomes president lol. Actually think about it. Because honestly, you can yell at me all you want and call me stupid or an idiot for not voting/doing a write in — but I'm 10000% sure that Trump is going to win next election. What more are you going to do other than vote?

[mauesartetc]

What is your opinion on Winx Club and it's art direction?

Honestly I never watched Winx Club growing up, so my frame of reference for it isn't particularly intimate. But just looking at the characters, it's clear there's a bit of Sameface and Samebody Syndrome going on.

The art style's certainly unique for a Western kids' show, and there's a nice variety of bright colors. But man, I hate to think what kinds of messages the show's young target audience took away from these designs. If all kids see in their media are tall, impossibly skinny bodies portrayed as desirable, they'll wonder why their own bodies don't match. And creators should be especially sensitive to this when they're making shows for girls, since media bombards them with a host of beauty standards to measure up to (and it's not like I'm any kind of expert in child psychology, but I'd wager the advent of social media hasn't helped matters). So it frankly didn't surprise me to learn that this show was created by a dude.

Look, I'm not saying men can't be mindful of the effects media can have on girls, nor am I saying men and boys never deal with their own body image issues. But if you're making a show with a majority-female cast, maybe consult some women about their designs-? In the credits of the first episode there are two feminine names listed as character designers (Michele Lilli and Andrea Pulito), but they appear to be outnumbered by twice as many men. (Though apparently those names can be masculine in Italian, so it's possible Michele and Andrea are men as well. Too bad their IMDB pages don't list pronouns for them.)

And according to Winx Club's Wikipedia page, after a pilot that was unsatisfying to the creator, the team hired fashion designers to revamp the characters. At first I thought this would explain the girls' proportions (it's common practice in fashion design to draw slim, taller-than-average figures with elongated legs), but the concept art from the pilot tells a different story. Even before the fashion designers came aboard, all the girls had the same tall, skinny physique.

Not that there's anything wrong with being tall and skinny- hell, I'm a beanpole myself! But when all your characters have the exact same body type, whatever that may be, it leaves out so much human variety and just looks repetitive as a result. It's boring. And on top of that, it creates a visual impression that these characters are interchangeable with little to no individuality. The girls do have their own distinct personalities in the show (I ended up watching the entirety of Season 1 for this post), but those personalities don't come across well in still images.

It'd help if they were posed in ways that showcased their individual traits rather than just... "feminine and vaguely playful" across the board. Where's Stella's cockiness, Flora's kindness, Musa's sarcasm, Techna's logic? I'm wondering if the fashion designers sketched out these poses as well, because they seem much better suited to displaying clothes than demonstrating character.

(To make matters worse, there's a point in the show where the girls look like literal clones. This screenshot where they're all wearing the same outfit really highlights just how little body diversity they have.)

And what's bonkers about the faces looking so extremely similar is that creator Iginio Straffi based these characters on real women-? Namely Britney Spears for Bloom, Cameron Diaz for Stella, Jennifer Lopez for Flora, Pink for Techna, Lucy Liu for Musa, and Beyonce for Aisha. Here's how they all looked around the time of Winx Club's development:

And here's how I'd use the photos as a starting point to make each character's face stand out more.

They seriously couldn't have just leaned in to what made each face unique rather than painting them all with the same brush?

I get it, drawing all the characters with the same base makes it easier to keep them on model (and I imagine it keeps things cost-effective when making toys of them). But good god, you couldn't have treated them as actual characters rather than paper dolls for the fashion of the week?

From what I saw of the show, it's fine. It's passable. I fully accept that I'm not the target audience for it, but it's not bad for what it is. Could use a ton more character development, though, both in the designs and the writing. In any case, I'm glad that present-day animated shows seem to be evolving past cookie-cutter character design.

To close this out, here's something that I absolutely should not be able to get away with:

Recognizing these poses from the DVD cover is a sign of knowledge.

Realizing I switched them around is a sign of wisdom.

[itsnotmyfaultsomepeoplecantread]

"Am I actually autistic," I whisper, while picking out half of the vegetables from my soup because they make the texture wrong. "What if everyone was right and I am just choosing to be a mess, and there isn't any other explanation for my weirdness," I say, reciting my ABCs backwards, and listening to the same song on a loop because it keeps me focused and calm. "I don't even have special interests," I say, knowing full well that I get wildly invested in specific shows/movies/information, and have re-watched a niche TV show about thieves dozens upon dozens of times because it makes me happy, and I get exhausted by too many new pieces of media.

"Are my support needs even valid," I scream, on the phone with my mom during a panic attack that was triggered by the wind unpredictably whistling through the pipes. "Is my level of social anxiety and unresponsiveness enough," I ask, thinking about how my remarkably vivid memories since the age of two are primarily filled with a life wrought with social struggles, which have never, ever gone away, even after years of practicing small talk and rehearsing conversations in my head in never-ending loops.

"What if I'm just broken," I sob, quietly, knowing that before my diagnosis, no treatments worked because my brain is functionally different, and I don't have control over what that looks like. "What that's not the answer," I say, texting my partner who sits on the couch next to me, because I have lost my words, and thinking of how no one ever noticed my verbal shutdowns because my silence was preferable to my occasional periods of babbling. "What if I'm not even autistic," I whisper, quietly, into a dark room of memories of everyone that has ever told me how deeply weird and wrong I am, but act surprised when I tell them I'm autistic.

As I ask myself these questions, I wrap myself in the perfectly-textured sweater that was the closest thing I could find to the ancient, hole-filled one I cried over when I left it on the plane at 22 years old. The sleeves of my sweater cover scars from a decade of picking at my skin. The picking helps me process the day's social interactions, and attempt to understand my own mysterious emotions.

The exhaustion it yields is unbearable. I tire of fighting to be heard, yet struggling to explain with the accuracy I desire. Of constantly hearing how everyone "is a little autistic," because I cannot possibly be disabled if I have spent years trying desperately to learn basic small talk. Because most people don't care to learn, or to reach behind the mask and see what lies beneath. They don't know me. And yet, despite their doubts, I find myself torn apart when they inevitably get frustrated by my inability to read invisible boundaries between faintly marked lines. I follow the social cues I am told to follow, and still I get it wrong.

The lack of trust builds the walls that so few have been able to breach. Even fewer remain welcome, becoming those whom I treasure with undying loyalty. I remain honest and open, my idealism and empathy wanting so desperately for people to be as good as I know they can be. But that doesn't prevent the rejections from haunting me, convincing me that my existence is wrong.

It haunts me.

So, I spiral. I think of how much I copy others, at the cost of my own identity. I think, too, of my stubborn refusal to do what everyone else is doing or is telling me to do, and of every time that I have panicked over something that no one else understood. I think of how many times I have felt like an outsider; of how many times I sought out the company of my teachers to that of my peers. I think of every test that I cried on, while others laughed at me — of how deeply depressed and angry it made me, knowing that they would never understand. And I worry that I don't even fit the standard of normal for my own diagnoses. I worry that I am this way by choice. I worry that I am judged. I worry.

But as the worry hits me like violent ocean waves, I let it wash over me until the feeling calms. And I finally let it go.

[the-fibre-stuff]

I've been keeping an eye on knitting lessons in town to share with the students at the school in case they want to learn more. But since the LYS moved out of town there really isn't anything. I did just find one that I can't recommend - it's for beginners, they provide materials, and it's $85. For two hours. (That's about 5 hours at minimum wage)*

Now, obviously my classes at Michaels aren't a good point of reference, because I probably should have been paid more (although a lot of that problem was because I rarely had more than one or two students), but my former LYS is currently charging $60 (so about the same instructional price) for a 2x2 hour class. The 2.5 hour beginner knitting class is $45 (AND includes materials). (Same 6 student limit).

And the list of what they're trying to cover in 2 hours is too long! cast on, knit stitch, purl stitch, "bind off", how to read a yarn label and pattern AND starting a project. (I get that the project is really a necessary selling point, but they really don't work in a short class, you need to do multiple sessions so people can go work on it at home). And I'm sure they're saying "look how much we're covering" to make it look like good value for money, but if even one of the potentially 6 students is struggling with knitting, either that one is going to not really learn anything, or if you do it wrong NO ONE will learn anything (it's really easy to spend so much time with the one person who's struggling that you don't have enough time for everyone else, but then still not manage to help the one).

You need time to actually practice the skills in a knitting class. At least if you want the class to not be a rip-off. I guess this class is intended more as a "knit a headband" activity thing, but it's one that you finish at home? This feels deceptive, in that it's charging people (a lot) to learn how to knit, but is more about a "come experience knitting" thing than a "learn to knit".

Also, where does everyone stand on teaching foreign knitting without billing the class as such? I know that the internet has lead to the Americanization of the terminology, but hopefully the instructor is teaching the standard terminology not just the internet/American terms? (I just discovered today that some of my books from the 1970s don't have a section with notes for Americans, so people who are hoping to use grandma's collection may be in for a surprise.)

*I am not trying to suggest that the knitting instructor should only make minimum wage, and I'm aware that the supplies and potentially the location cost something, this is only provided for those who don't want to have to look up the conversion to CND

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Sebek Zigvolt New Year's Attire Personal Story: Part 2

"I'll fight strongly and beautifully!"

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[Beside Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Sebek: Wh-

Sebek: WHY IS MY HAIR SO OUT OF PLACE!?

Vil: HUH!?

Sebek: THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! I MUST FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY…!!

Vil: You seem quite panicked… That surprised me. Were you really the type to worry so much about your appearance?

Vil: I completely thought you weren't concerned in the slightest towards your hair or clothes.

Sebek: What are you saying!? I am always striving to be worthy of being the Young Master's attendant!

Sebek: In order to be of any assistance to their master, an attendance must always strive for perfection. It would be out of the question to present to him a disheveled appearance!

Sebek: This hair of mine tends to fall into disarray, so I always take care to keep it set perfectly with the proper hair products.

Sebek: Of course, I do this even when Malleus-sama is not nearby. He may show up at the shop at any time…

Sebek: If word spreads that I was in a state of disarray, then it will tarnish Malleus-sama's reputation!!

Vil: Is… Is that so. Well, good looking out.

Vil: I suppose now that you mention it, you certainly are always dressed very properly.

Vil: I also believe that it is important to choose your appearance depending on the time and place. I didn't expect us to have this in common, of all things.

Sebek: Urk, these strands that have fallen out of place just won't go back at all. Normally I would be able to set it again with a comb like this.

Vil: You must have sweated a bit too much from moving at a different pace than you're used to. It won't fix itself just by pawing at it like that.

Sebek: How vexing. It takes me so much time in the morning to set it, and yet this hair…

Sebek: …Hm?

Vil: Why are you staring at me so intently?

Sebek: Why is your hair not out of place at all, Vil-senpai? Even if you weren't moving as much as me during that battle, it's still strange.

Vil: Nothing is strange about it. I have simply taken the proper precautions.

Sebek: Precautions…?

Sebek: …I see. So that is what you meant by your comment earlier that I was "making too many unnecessary movements."

Vil: Huh?

Sebek: So, you… You were moving in a way so as to not throw your hair into disarray!

Sebek: How practical of you. And learning such special movements would no doubt be good training.

Sebek: TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

Vil: That's nowhere near the right attitude to ask me to teach you.

Vil: But… Perhaps. If you vow to listen to everything I say from here on out, I don't mind teaching you.

Vil: For starters, you should learn how to ask others for favors properly.

Vil: As one of Malleus's followers, you of course know how to request help from others properly, yes?

Sebek: Y… Yes, of course.

Sebek: …Please, Vil-senpai. Would you teach me the method to set my hair so it does not become disheveled?

Vil: Well, I suppose that is 100 times better than before. Good on you for being so forthcoming.

Vil: And I suppose I can acknowledge your high-standards in your personal upkeep…

Vil: Right, I've decided I like it. I'll look the other way on your former attitude just this once.

Sebek: The deal is struck, then. So, what is your secret?

Vil: The secret to keeping your hair set perfectly is… this.

Sebek: Hm…?

Sebek: TH-THAT IS…!

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Vil: Alright, that was 5,100 madol. Thank you for your purchase.

Heartslabyul Student A: That cost hurts my wallet, but with this, I can have another ＨＡＧＯＩＴＡ battle.

Heartslabyul Student B: We'll take our revenge for our loss this morning, and get our hands on Sam's Golden Ticket!

Vil: Sebek, we have a challenger. Go get ready.

Sebek: Oh, you're the Heartslabyul students we obliterated this morning. Didn't think you would come back so soon.

Heartslabyul Student A: Ugh, the way you speak gets on my nerves. This time we'll definitely win and make you pay!

Heartslabyul Student B: Sebek should totally be exhausted from all those consecutive matches. We'll be able to mop this up easily with him that tired.

Sebek: Humph, say what you want. But let me tell you this as well.

Sebek: THE ME THAT STANDS BEFORE YOU NOW… IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON FROM BEFORE!!

Heartslabyul Student A: Wh-what? The mood just shifted…

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[666writingcafe]

The Carnival (Part Two)

"Oooh! Hey you two, look!" Number Two exclaims from within MC's arms, pointing at one of the many carnival games on the boardwalk. Upon closer examination, it looks like a standard ring toss game. All sorts of stuffed animals are attached to the top of the booth, including a creature that I've never seen before.

"What are those?" I ask, gesturing towards the animal in question.

"Those are zombie iguanas," the demon running the game answers. "They're one of the hottest items in the Devildom right now. As you can see, they're cute and disgusting at the same time."

"I want one!" Number Two pipes up. "Can you guys win me one? Pretty please?"

"How much does the game cost?" MC asks. The demon looks over at MC and smiles.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the human that has the Avatars of Sin in a chokehold. It is a honor to finally meet you." The game attendant extends his hand out, and MC awkwardly shakes it. "You're quite famous in these parts."

"Is that good or bad?" The demon chuckles.

"Depends on who you ask. Personally, I find it amusing." He pauses. "Tell you what: I'll give you and your friend there a free play. It's not like this carnival's hurting for money." MC looks over at me, and I shrug.

"Why not?" I tell them. Number Two claps its hands in excitement as MC receives three rings from the demon.

"Any particular place I need to stand?" they ask.

"Where you are is fine," the game attendant answers. Taking a deep breath, MC begins playing the game.

The first ring misses the bottles completely. The second ends up falling between two bottles. The third almost ends up around the winning bottle but ends up bouncing off it at the last second.

"A good try," the demon comforts once MC's out of rings. Passing Number Two off to MC, I step forward and receive my rings.

I'm fully aware that these carnival games are usually rigged against the player. However, for reasons that are still beyond me, I'm extremely good at them. It's gotten to the point where I---or rather, Christopher Peugeot---am banned from certain carnivals in the human world because I've been accused of cheating. The irony is not lost on me, but it's not something to make a big deal out of.

Needless to say, I'm only slightly surprised when the first ring I toss lands perfectly around the winning bottle.

"I'll be damned," the demon running the ring toss says, looking at me in astonishment. "You're the only individual that's won on the first toss." He quickly pulls down two zombie iguanas.

"This one's for the little guy," he explains as he hands an iguana to Number Two. "And this one's on me."

"Thanks," I respond, taking the second iguana from the game attendant.

۞۞۞

"I have a confession to make," Number Two announces. The three of us are currently sitting on a bench, enjoying ice cream cones that MC got with their voucher.

"Is it that you don't know where the casino is?" MC asks.

"I mean, yes, but neither do Mr. Lucifer and Lord Diavolo. No, I'm talking about the zombie iguanas."

"What about them?"

"The main reason that they're one of the hottest items right now isn't because of their appearance."

"Oh?"

"Rumor has it that a box of them got hit with a spell on their way to the carnival."

"What kind of spell?"

"They say that if you have one of the special iguanas, and you hold hands with someone that you really like, then you won't be able to let go until the spell's been lifted." Number Two looks over at me, and I nervously swallow. MC doesn't respond for a moment as they appear to be putting together the pieces.

"I'll be right back," they say, getting up and walking away from us.

"Are you okay?" Number Two asks once MC's out of earshot.

"I fear that we may have upset MC." Regret flashes in the little one's eyes.

"I'm sorry," it whispers. "I was just trying to help you. I wasn't lying about the iguana."

"I know." I sigh. "It's just that I---"

"Simeon." MC's returned, and they have a small bottle full of dark purple liquid that almost appears black.

"Is that what I think it is?" Number Two asks, referring to the drink. MC nods their head, causing the little demon to wink at me.

"Am I missing something?"

"Context," MC answers bluntly. "This drink contains a truth serum that I'm told works on both angels and demons."

"I assume you got it for me, then?"

"I did. Set the iguana down." Once my iguana is sitting next to Number Two, MC hands me the drink.

"You don't have to drink it if you don't want to, but I figured it would help you tell me whatever it is you're holding back from me."

"They're giving you an opening," Number Two whispers.

"I know." Unscrewing the top, I bring the bottle to my lips and tilt my head back. Once it's empty, I toss it in a nearby trashcan. MC sits down next to me and grabs my iguana from Number Two.

"The person that gave me the drink told me that the serum should kick in right away," they tell me. "I'm just going to ask you a few questions to confirm."

"Okay," I whisper.

"What is your name?"

"Simeon."

"Your pen name?"

"Christopher Peugeot."

"What is your relationship with Luke?"

"I am his legal guardian."

"How do you feel about Solomon?"

"He's a pest."

"That was harsh," Number Two notes. "Don't you live with him?

"I do. He does an okay job looking after Luke when I'm not around, but between his cooking and his ego, I really can't stand him. At least half the problems he has would be solved if he didn't feel the need to egg other people on."

"Well, you certainly had me fooled," MC responds. "I thought you two were close."

"So does he."

"Good to know. Pick up the iguana." Once I have my iguana back, MC softly smiles. "Are you hoping that your iguana is one of the ones that got hit with that spell?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I desperately want to hold your hand." The soft smile turns into a grin.

"Your wish is my command." With that, MC grabs my hand and laces their fingers between mine. "Now, try to let go."

I can lift my fingers up, but to actually separate my hand from MC's proves to be impossible.

"Aren't the brothers going to be upset that I'm holding your hand?" I ask.

"We'll just blame it on the iguana." MC turns their attention to Number Two. "Using your best judgement, where do you think this casino would be?"

"It'd have to be in a rather big building," the little demon replies. "We could try the haunted house."

"Sounds like a plan."

[writercole]

My dog woke me up and yes, it's not quite 2 AM as I start typing this, but I have several thoughts weighing down my mind and I need to get them out.

My oldest child had high school orientation this week. They opened with the pledge and a prayer. We did not stand.

No one confronted us. No one asked why. Which, frankly, surprised me as I'm in South Louisiana. But I'm still crafting an answer to the question that never came.

I didn't stand for the pledge of allegiance because the tenants of that decree are no longer being upheld. Liberty and justice for all have become words that are just recited.

The neighborhood that I live in, the Northside, is socioeconomically low. It's a neighborhood full of blacks and other POC. I love my neighborhood.

More than once, I've had to school my own mother on the way she talks about my neighbors and my community. Because it is a community. But this community is more policed and has less tax revenue because of its makeup. Is that liberty and justice for all?

The high schools in our district are installing weapon detectors. Our politicians are more worried about policing genitals. Is that liberty and justice for all?

Our most vulnerable citizens, our children, go to school every day and we never know if they're going to come home. They go home not knowing if they're going to eat or have lights on. Our government is trying to cut funding for school meals while letting gun lobbies do anything they want. Is that liberty and justice for all?

We spend more on healthcare than any other nation in the world but have some of the worst maternal mortality rates, infant mortality rates, and rates of preventable and treatable diseases. Because we cannot get doctors to accept state-funded medical insurance, the private insurances have priced themselves out of the middle class, and the amount that it costs for the uninsured to have treatment is unattainable for most people. Is that liberty and justice for all?

People go to church and praise and worship their gods, and that is their right. But on Monday mornings, these same people are decrying the 'woke left' for trying to teach things like...tolerance and history. They say that other religions are heathens and terrorists and do everything they can to stop them from holding positions of power. Is that liberty and justice for all?

Police corruption is higher than it was in the 1940s and the mob didn't have to lift a finger. It's filled with hatred and bigotry, racism and misogyny, power trips and harmful ideology. These departments are left unchecked, free to rape and pillage all they want under the guise of law enforcement. Is that liberty and justice for all?

Our lawmakers are collectively trying to enact laws that will hamstring our children and keep them from knowing what actually goes on in the world, will keep adults in this country from knowing what goes on in the world. While we have the highest standards perceived for our education, when ranked based on actual data and not an opinion survey, we don't even crack the top ten.

I wrote to our senator about this KOSA bill and he basically said 'fuck you I'm doing it.' Our congressman didn't even deign to give me an actual response, just an automated message to let me know that they received my email.

That is definitely not liberty and justice for all. Not to mention, porn is restricted by government ID here in Louisiana. Yet, my 14 year old still has access to it. It's all over twitter, discord, tumblr, and dozens of other sites that would have exemptions to the bills aimed at protecting kids from that kind of material.

Instead of sheltering, we need to educate. We need to teach kids bodily autonomy and not force them to hug their family. They need to know the proper terms for their body parts to be able to report sexual assault and molestation. They need to know that there are things that adults should not be doing.

We need to enforce the laws already on the books protecting children from rapists and child molesters and sex trafficking before we try to keep them off of the internet. Because the whole world has access to the internet. It's either all children, or just our children. The latter seems most likely.

In IT, when there's an issue for one user, the error is identified to being a single user error. Not an error with the entire network.

In order for me to want to participate in pledging my allegiance to a country - which, by the way, is something communist nations do, indoctrination at the kindergarten level - you have to make me believe in the words that I'm reciting.

"One Nation" if you're cishet and white.

"With Liberty and Justice for All." If you're not a minority group or female.

And don't get me started on the 'under god' portion.

[freetheshit-outofyou]

First, I applaud their efforts to stop senseless violence, even if I personally think it is as much wasted air as thoughts and prayers. The "Lightguard system" is a non-starter, it will make things much less safe than the actual confrontation itself. Here is their "proof of concept" clip.

First, we're in 2023 not 2003 lets make this a little more presentable and less like a high school digital project.

I'm speaking as someone who spent a career as an LEO and in the military, when I make these observations I'm not just shooting from the hip as it were. This clip shows the offender dropping their gun and running away blind, and the clerk looking back at your system lovingly, two problems. 1. Your clerk would also be blinded, thus rendered defenseless to anything that follows on. Light of this magnitude is all encompassing, it will bounce off every surface and it will blind in all directions except for maybe directly behind it. The light will not care if the person is looking at it or away from it. Everyone recovers from this kind of event exposure differently, the criminal may recover before the clerk. 2. The very last thing you want to do when someone is pointing a gun at you is to shock them or surprise them. There is a greater than average chance that the activation of your system will scare the criminal causing them to shoot reflexively. Now you have a clerk who had a criminal pointing a gun at them shooting blindly. As I said, good in concept, but practical application may need a little more attention. Also see strobing firearms lights, strobing crowd control and Laser dazzlers systems. As for "Smart guns", where to start? One of the two companies mentioned LodeStar, admits the fingerprint sensor may not be the most effective means to unlock the firearm for use, think your phones finger print reader and how often it fails. So they added a PIN pad AND a near-field communication signal to increase the probability that their concept would work. They had to put a finger print reader, an electronic signal receiver and a freaking PIN pad in the weapon. That tells me two things, the tech is so bad that they had to put multiple systems together to TRY to ensure the firearm would work most of the time and if you are putting your life on the line hoping all of those gadgets work when you need them too you are already dead. LodeStar says their firearm's will start at about 895.00 or about 355.00+/- more than your standard Glock 19 Gen 5. Every time I type LodeStar I hear... "Not so fast Lonestar!" from Spaceballs (1987), I digress. The other company, SmartGunz, is marketing towards Law Enforcement with a side market to everyone else. Their concept requires an RFID chip to make the firearm work, Oh, but there's more. Their concept only works on a 1911 style firearm, it will only work if the user depresses the grip safety WHILE ALSO WEARING A FREAKING RFID GLOVE to activate it. I don't know about all y'all but I don't often walk around or sleep with a glove on like I'm Michael Jackson.

Sorry Mike, I still love your music. On 8 July 2021 the firearms were projected to cost 2,695.00 for LEO's and an astounding 2,995.00 for all the rest of us peasants. I say "US" because I am no longer an LEO and can't get their gracious discount. On 12 July of that same year Tom Holland, president of Free State Firearms, LLC announced that the cost for pre-orders would be 1,795.00 for LEO's and the low price of 1,995.00 for everyone else. As far as 1911's go that is the cost of a Colt Gold Cup Trophy or a Dan Wesson Valor 1911 without all that tech to get in the way of you saving your own life. It's also the cost of 3 Glock 19 Gen 5's or or 3 Palmetto State Armory "PA-15 16"NITRIDE M4 CARBINE" 5.56mm riles. With all that said, these technologies are not in place to make the end user safer, they do nothing to address violent crime, it only lays the burden on the person who at their point of most need, when their mind is in survival mode, it adds roadblocks to their chances of survival. SIDE NOTE: A German company named Armatix came out with a smart gun in 2014, soon after people figured out that with magnets on the sides of the firearm it would bypass the guns radio signals and allow anyone to use it, it was pulled from the market there soon after.

[starpuncher]

this weeks manga selections:

dungeon meshi: catching up on this after a while of slacking and it's still absolutely killer. there have been larger surprises in this world. ryoko kui might be one of the most technically skilled artists currently working, and if she's not that she's definitely one of the horniest. vore saves the world

wombs: is this manga good? well, probably not, but what a fascinating case study in basing your worldbuilding entirely around a very specific fetish. plus, i don't read many military otaku works and it's fun to see what people with that lens focus on

touge oni: still halfway through this after dropping it for a while to binge dunmeshi+ons. the art is stellar, the author's focus is definitely on the spectacle of their world's monsters and the protagonists are more vessels to tell those stories than characters, and when you're this good at crafting a monster you can make that work. fantastic beast design

owari no seraph: i'm about 20 chapters into a reread of this. like most late 10s shounens worldbuilding is here a secondary concern to drawing the prettiest boy the author can personally imagine. the early series where i am right now feels like it's trying to be marketable at the cost of being fun; fortunately i have it on good authority that this series goes completely off the rails later into its run and i am extremely interested in seeing that. dinosaurs figure into it somewhere.

marriagetoxin: yeah this is still really fun. while shounen jump's current serialization decisions confuse me at times this one is such an obvious green light. at a time where the industry seems to be moving away from standard battle shounen it's really great to see a series make that traditional format work so well just by giving the protagonist a fresh motivation. i've been reading this since it started its run and i will keep doing that

cipher academy: after reading this from chapter one i have finally realized that nisioisn wrote this. i can't even be mad. i do like it so so so so much but god of course it's you. motherfucker will i never be free (this is my favorite currently running series by about a mile) (i was permanently changed by watching bakemonogatari in middle school)

tenmaku cinema: there have been shounen about movies before but MAN! SHOUNEN ABOUT MAKING MOVIES!!! the artist has real skill, the description of the technical side of movie-making is simplified but functional and comprehensible to newbies, and there's a fun little overarching mystery set up early on to keep readers interested even if they get bored hearing about how a telescopic lens works now and then. still in early days so time will tell if it can keep it up

the poe clan: i'm one chapter in and i'm going to kiss hagio moto on the lips

[gamebird]

About a month ago, I read 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' based on a recommendation from a friend. It had some good points and bad ones.

Good points:

It is super important for me to have discussions with my kids about how to handle money, what their options are with the money I've given them, and what that means for standard of living, activities, etc.

It is very important in people's lives to have someone advising them about money, instead of just leaving them to fend for themselves and figure it out on their own.

If you already have money (like tens or hundreds of thousands of unencumbered cash), then there are a lot of relatively low risk, low labor means to put that money to work for you and generate income. It's a lot less tedious than, say, working for a living. But you have to have the money FIRST.

The various principles laid out in the book caused me to move my money around. Now instead of retiring in 4 years and leaving nothing to my kids in inheritance unless I died early, because I'd need everything to fund my retirement, I'm going to retire end of next year and leave millions, assuming I live that long. And if I don't, then there will still be a nest egg. Same standard of living for me either way.

Bad points:

Gotdamn does this guy undersell how hard it is to get your hands on enough money to start with to do this. It takes generations and he doesn't acknowledge that.

He also undersells the value and rarity of someone giving you good advice at every turn, feeding you opportunities, and picking you up when you fall ... and never victimizing or abusing you in the process.

He makes almost no mention of the severe adversities many people find in their lives, like chronic health problems, useless or abusive partners, addiction, expensive hobbies, terrible families, bad luck, accidents, legal problems, and the like. Some of these you have a little control over; a lot of them you don't; and even with barely controllable things like partners and family you don't know its bad until its already bad and its not exactly too late at that point, but it really sucks.

So anyway, I tried to get my kids to listen to the audiobook. No dice. I found it on YouTube for free. No doing. I bought the guy's Cashflow board game. Huzzah! They played it a couple times. This let us talk about things. (I mean, I'd already tried talking to them, but trying to discuss the relative merits of savings account vs t-bills vs etfs was not making much progress.)

We talked about:

What's a mortgage and why can't I just be homeless and not pay that

Why are my expenses so high

Why are children expensive

Why do I have to pay for a loan (I was surprised and shocked they only barely understood interest rates. My inability to communicate effectively about investments made sense now. I have failed as a parent. But I'm trying to fix it.) also: why is a credit score important

What the fuck why does this boat cost so damn much?!? (the boat is the most expensive piece of shit doodad you can get saddled with in the game; I talked to them about the dangers of expensive hobbies)

OH MY FUCKING GOD I ONLY MISSED ONE PAYCHECK AND I AM RUINED (because ... yeah. that's real)

What does 'yield' mean

What's a trading range

And a bunch of other things. I also talked to them about the things the game does not include, those things I mentioned earlier like accidents, addictions, lawsuits, and health problems, or the same happening to anyone you financially support or feel beholden to, like a partner or child or possibly parent. I talked to them about the mentality of 'my savings always gets wasted on emergencies so why bother having any', which is valid and real, as well as a rational reaction to a maddingly irrational situation.

An interesting thing about the game - there's no rule for or against giving money to each other. And it makes a huge difference in propelling someone from the rat race stage of the game where you're working for a living and into the cashflow part of the game where your money is working for you instead. In the two games we played, I ended up ahead early each time (half of this I credit to good decisions while my kids were making dumb ones, even after I told them they were dumb choices; half was probably luck). But each time once I had my position secured, I started giving wads of cash to them and it was remarkable how much that improved their situation.

Kind of like real life.

I also read Bullshit Jobs a couple weeks ago and it ends with a lovely piece about the social value of universal basic income. Which, yeah. We need to do that.

[mdhwrites]

🦝 Any thoughts on the Colector? I wondered if you ever talked about him 🌜

I have not! They should not be in the show!

Okay, that sounds way meaner than I actually feel towards The Collector. I can't even judge him that much because I haven't watched S3 (though my initial statement stands). He is enjoyable and charismatic as a villain and his first appearance was more entertaining than almost everything Belos has done in the show period. But also… They suffer from the same problem any of the other 'redeemed' characters do.

First appearance: I WILL DANCE AMONG THE BONES! I'M SO READY FOR EVERYONE TO DIE!

Next appearance: Aren't I just a sad little lad? Look at me be all cute and innocent. I just turn people into dolls. Am I really so bad?

It's… It's really blatant and with more time, there could have been time to smooth it over but…

Also the Collector is purely a part of S2B. After the shortening DEFINITELY was affecting the show. And he should not have been there. Period. They didn't have the time, not with all the time they'd already wasted.

Think about it: Come the end of S2A, they had the portal door, King's parentage, Raine's fate, Hunter's redemption and the Day of Unity as plot threads that HAD to be resolved. Period. For a show with only 14 more episodes left to its name, that's not even an average of three episodes per plot point. That is a ROUGH time schedule to keep, even if you say each has five by saying each episode could theoretically tackle two plot lines with their A and B plots.

Worse yet, the Day of Unity was fast approaching and Belos was still kind of shit? By then we still don't know he's Philip, his relationship with Hunter is basic and he hasn't done… Anything? He has espoused his supposed beliefs and had one confrontation with Luz but that's it. As THE primary villain for the series, even now in S3 (because The Collector is hardly meant to be seen as a villain at this point), he has done almost nothing and left little impression on the series besides seeming like a dick to work for.

And you want to introduce a small GOD into this mix? A character who is MAGNITUDES higher on the power scale than literally anything else ever shown in the series, let alone anything Luz and crew could attempt to handle when they can't even beat Belos. Not only that, but a character like the Collector is going to theoretically have a backstory and character of their own that should get time and you still haven't actually given those to Belos either.

And surprise, surprise, neither Belos or the Collector are well written or given the time or energy to be well written. The Collector entirely changes their personality OFF SCREEN so they're already ready for redemption when Luz gets to them and Belos is entirely irredeemable without being entertaining to watch in any way. They are the worst versions of their forms of villains.

And you could have maybe salvaged Belos by just cutting the Collector. Yes, it would have meant not copying Amphibia as mu- Revealing a secondary, far more powerful villain that kidnaps a main character as part of their rise to power before then sending part of the cast into the human realm but how much did the series benefit from going to the human realm? You know, besides making Camila less unique and getting to include a lot of fanfic moments?

But it would have meant more time for Belos. More time to parallel him and Luz as they briefly tried to in King's Tide. More time to let him go into full madness and really let loose as a villain. More time to do anything. The Day of Unity could have either been the SERIES finale then, giving a big moment that we've built up to since S1 the gravity of being the ending, or had the fallout of failing to stop it, or the cost of how they stopped it without Collector ex Machina, be Season 3. Either way, you have a lot less to deal with than "This is the Collector's World! Please feel like it's actually that much different from a standard apocalypse or really just the Isles in general since we don't have the time to depict that. We do have the time deal with Kikimora AGAIN though and return to Hexide to see all the side characters who haven't matter in at least half a season, if not since S1."

So in the end, the Collector is… Fine. Their villainy is fun but their arc is mostly predicated on bullshit that reveals the lie on other characters if you think about it. But their biggest crime is that King's Tide feels like a giant game of Chicken with Disney and any sort of real resolution or good writing for S3 and its villains, was the price for losing when Disney stayed firm about not extending the series another two series.

[jarateblog]

My Rambly Complaints on Orbital's Optical Delusion

Not that anybody who reads this is really going to care, but felt like getting my thoughts put out somewhere, since I don't really have a spot on my website to put this stuff currently (and I'm still trying to stay off Twitter for the most part and its word cap would only get in the way anyways)

I've been a massive fan of Orbital's for a couple years now, and would call Snivilisation one of my favorite albums that hits me on multiple emotional levels when sitting down to listen to it in its entirety. In Sides, The Middle of Nowhere, the Brown Album, and The Altogether are more of some of what I would consider masterpieces from them, although none of their albums are bad in my opinion. This album, however, is probably the one I've been the most frustrated with due to a variety of reasons.

The lead up to this album was an absolute shitshow, to start, because the brothers clearly weren't in contact with their social media manager enough (or their social media manager was just super incompetent at their job), self-leaking songs before their official announcements, and just announcing the album about 3 months before its release. Each version of the album available is different too, the digital and vinyl releases being the most basic, while there are 3, count 'em, 3, different versions of CDs you can get: one basic, one with a separate bonus CD, and one with included bonus tracks (all three are completely different and barely vary in price). This isn't to mention how NONE of these were explained until about ONE WEEK before the album's release, fucking up many peoples' pre-order plans (and prevented me from even pre-ordering the album in the first place as a result, especially as a US citizen who gets fucked with ~20 pound shipping costs). There was a super expensive (and limited) blu-ray edition that is the only "complete" package, with all bonus tracks (minus one), with surround mixes as a bonus, but, obviously, not everybody has the money (or set up) to settle for that package. Then, there was the whole stupid N(o) F(ucking) T(hanks) shit they pulled about a week before its release too, a clear last minute ploy to squeeze a couple extra bucks out of some idiots who believe in that shit.

Funny, then, for how obviously political/environmental this album is that they wanted to sell it through such incomprehensible means. I know that sometimes labels can get in the way of music releases, but the absurdity of all this cannot be just the result of some publisher's stupidity. So, I feel everybody, especially including the band, needs to take blame for this shit. This is stuff that is actually getting in the way for normal people to just listen to music, and I wouldn't be surprised if this album ends up under-performing as a result.

About the actual quality of the album, that's very subjective, and it shouldn't surprise anybody that I am pretty sour and my opinions are biased, even if I went in with as much of an open mind as I could. There are good tracks here, but most feel extremely under-developed for Orbital's standards (and learning that none of the tracks were actually worked in collaboration between the brothers strengthens this belief).

The always common political messages for Orbital albums here are also extremely on the nose, making it annoying when I have to read every other comment on posts regarding the album complaining from dense right-wing dickheads about how they want all their music to be 'non-political.' I obviously wholly support Orbital in continuing to push their messages, but the way they do it here is far from subtle or tongue in cheek (like in almost any of their previous albums). If I'm leaning on the same side of the political spectrum that they seem to be on, and I am finding their messages to be forced or cringey, then I think there is something wrong with the presentation of the message.

Notably, the album's themes revolving around the pandemic are almost 3 years behind the time it would have made the most impact. The pandemic still affects us today, yes, but they relay their message as if the damn thing just started a month ago. It would be more impactful and relevant if the focus was more on the people who still refuse to believe the virus exists, and how that affects the rest of us, but the messages don't go any further than "the virus sucks," or "the government doesn't care about us."

I find the only standout song on here to be "Are You Alive?," which is still a bit weak in the lyrical department, and feels like it has nothing to add for the last 4 minutes when the vocals get done in the first 3. The radio edit of it was horribly done though (although radio edits never do justice to Orbital's songs), cutting off the end of the track ungracefully and shortening the space between the main lyrics before there is time to let the music speak. It's unfortunate, because this song had potential to be one of their best in their whole catalogue.

I only recently got to listen to some of the bonus tracks (because somebody had to sneakily upload them on to Youtube), and it's a damn shame they weren't included on the main album (which is already under an hour in length, so come the fuck on with that). They are perhaps some of the best developed tracks out of this release, and it's completely insane that nobody told whoever was in charge to just put them all in the one package (hell, it would even further justify the album being a 2xLP, since the fact its only 51 minutes is just a waste of vinyl plastic at this point).

I'm just extremely frustrated with this release. While Monsters Exist in 2018 was one of my least favorite albums of theirs up until this point, I could still listen to it in basically any way I wanted to without issue, and it gave me plenty of time to develop my thoughts on what is still a great album of theirs. This album, on the other hand, actively prevents me from experiencing some of its best material, and the main experience does not hold much to me on its own. This is the first time I can say that I dislike an Orbital album, and it pains me to say it, after holding all 30 years of their output beforehand in high regard. I can't help but feel like this was made to just put some extra cash in their pockets, since Paul Hartnoll's solo work probably isn't making him that much money and who knows what the hell Phil does outside of the band.

[0xo]

tw: non-graphic surgery talk, malpractice, child death, ableism

as a disabled trans person who has experienced extreme medical trauma and surgical malpractice, i have a really complicated relationship with wanting to undergo surgery to relieve dysphoria.

on one hand, i am like... not scared of surgery itself. the last one i had, i was ecstatic about, as it was a colostomy takedown. my colostomy was a surprise emergency addition, and a major source of stress and dysphoria for me. (i recognize colostomies can be life-saving, and are not a bad or gross thing! i fully encourage ostomate positivity. however, i am allergic to adhesive, which is necessary to keep a colostomy bag on! so that obviously caused a lot of distress and frustration. i am glad to not deal with that particular problem anymore.)

i am scared of incompetent surgeons, malpractice, and surprise emergency additions. i have experienced that before and it gives me great hesitancy to engage with the medical world in general.

to this day and forevermore, i am disturbed by the way i was treated when i was dying, and by how willing particular people were to just let me die. i know, without a shadow of a doubt, i would've died nine years ago if my parents had not been fiercely and constantly fighting for my life. and i am deeply, intrinsically haunted by the thought of what happened to other children who's parents couldn't be there every second of every day. you should theoretically be able to trust that a "world-class" hospital won't murder your child, but i do not. not even a little bit.

so yes, i am scared of all the things around surgery. the table and recovery don't scare me, the fucking people do. how much is my life worth to someone who sees me as a file and a paycheck? how careful will they be with a body that's already "broken" by their standards? how can i trust that someone will listen when i am screaming that something is wrong, when i have been ignored before and it nearly cost me my life.

i am disabled. i am happy, and i have a life worth living - but more than one medical professional didn't think that was enough. their carelessness accelerated the progression of my disability. i died, i actually died on that hospital's watch, three times. how do you trust anyone after that? awards mean nothing when you kill children through ignorance and incompetence and sheer fucking ableism. i was fourteen, i was a kid, i didn't deserve any of that.

and yet... i still want surgery, more than one even. how do you balance that. how do you steel yourself for being in that environment again, to jump through those hoops and advocate for yourself. it's so... frustrating. because i know now, what it's like to have a dysphoric thing and then get it fixed, how much better that feels even if there's scarring. even if it's a long recovery. i know, i know i would feel better if i could do this. but there's still a child in my mind, scared shitless and begging not to go anywhere near those people. what do i do to calm that kid down? because that kid, fourteen, wanted exactly what i want now - they're just freshly fucked-up and so, so terrified. they grew a shell and made jokes and never actually dealt with the pain and now i'm here, trying to take care of them.

i don't think most people understand how traumatic it is. or how it sticks with you. or how whole seasons get ruined because the air is just right to remind you of months stuck inside, begging for your life or to die or for someone to just make it stop. one wrong sensation and i am trapped there again. and i'm trapped here now - there's a clear solution to my problems and yet, and yet, i cannot trust anyone to do it right. and if i want anything to change, i have to trust someone to do it right.

i want my life, and i want to improve my life by making these changes. i know i could. i know i can. but it is absolutely hell trying to negotiate with my past self about this. about if it's safe or right or going to turn out well. if i can even do it because of my health - i can't bind, even, instant pneumonia. so will i be able to bind post-surgery?

all this to say, fucking leave people alone if they can't or won't get the surgeries you "think" go with their transition. or if they don't bind or whatever. no matter how well you think you know someone. you most likely have no idea what someone has been through, or what their health is like, or what it means to them to trust a medical professional. you don't know and it's frankly not your business. and if you have any qualms about this, you personally can give me ten thousand dollars to go see the singular surgeon i think i'd be okay with. otherwise, shut up and fuck off.

[dark-muse-iris]

Pre-dystopian era truly encapsulates pre 2020 now doesn't it? 😂 The things the last 2 almost 3 years have brought forth in humanity is 👀 disappointing at the best of times.

I'm surprised to see just how the app has changed, as I haven't had the chance to hop on desktop just yet. It seems...almost functioning? No more character limit on asks is nice as now I don't have to break this into 6 different messages 😂 New settings and everything else to try and figure out.

I've turned 24 this last July, and the last time I was truly active on here I was 21 so the personal growth and loss that have come with that is interesting for sure. I've lost both my grandmas in the past year and my living grandfather has already remarried (oh boy the family drama that caused), moved twice and live with my boyfriend of 3 years, have gone NC with his narc family and LC with mine as best as possible, started a job that has me earning the most I ever have financially but definitely have cost a part of my soul 💀😂 and I'm trying my best to get to a place in my life where I'm debt free and in a industry I actually love and care for (cannabis and growing it) and get my boyfriend the disability coverage he needs but I'm sure you're well aware that its a poor joke of trying to get that approved. So on some notes, its been good and I've changed into a better person but also if anything bad happens in 2023 I'm very fragile about it 😂😅

I understand the "striving for mediocrety" as a workplace mentality, and just how exhausting it can feel with wanting to bring better things to the office and just getting shot down. The old dodgers of "this is how we've always done it" dont always seem to realize that doing the same thing for 40+ years only works when the system isn't as broken as it is (or if it even worked in the first place). Is being remote going to give you the chances to take care of your sleep issues and anything else health related thats popped up for you? Ik last I checked you were doing the testing to see if it was more than standard narcolepsy.

(I'll probably message again and finish my thoughts but I am night shift and my break just ended so I gotta head back. It's so nice talking to you again ☺️💕)

I’m sorry to hear about your grandmas. I lost two of mine since 2020 and it’s been really hard on the family. If my grandfather had remarried that quickly, I’d be scratching my head as to how they were able to make it happen. My grandfather doesn’t appear to be dating, but that’s likely because 1) he cooks, and 2) he’s got stage 4 cancer, courtesy of U.S. chemical warfare in Vietnam.

As someone who works in a soul-sucking job that pays well, let me just say: it’s worth it. It is absolutely worth it to have a full belly and warm place to sleep during recession years. When I worked in industries I loved and didn’t have enough to eat, I resented my dreams and hated myself for having them. Letting those dreams go gave me the chance to have other dreams and I’ve been able to forgive myself for being so hard in my early 20s. It can take years to get the life you want, so don’t let anyone shit on you for doing what you have to do to eat in the meantime, especially anyone of the older generations who did their part to suppress our standard of living.

The insistence on clinging to broken systems of the past is one big reason I transferred jobs. There’s a lot of that still going around. My managers were panicking and kept asking why I was leaving; I think they finally understood how far I’m willing to go to make sure “office culture” won’t waste my time anymore. For me, being a remote employee streamlines my workflow and reduces my workplace accommodations for narcolepsy by half. It’s also much easier to manage my ADHD at home where I can remove distractions. In the office, no one was working on our job shit; everyone just gathered around to talk about their kids or health problems or ridiculous work drama they didn’t plan on fixing themselves. I had forgotten how much time people wasted just bitching for nothing. When I hear a complaint, I want to fix the problem and get rid of it, but that wasn’t a good fit. My colleagues wanted free therapy from someone their kid’s age because *surprise* their kid isn’t talking to them anymore.

I’m hopeful for cannabis and glad you’re pursuing the field! It’s not fully legal where I live, but I have many chronically ill family and friends who rely on it because they can’t take meds or afford the healthcare they need. I have some family who are growers in different states where it’s allowed and they’re happy with the work they’re doing. I never had the green thumb for that; I’m the only who would take dead grass and make a basket out of it.