#i am not sure how to tag these because theres. a lot.

[bgbrry]

some of my favourite pages from my uni sketchbook

[wackywatchdotcom]

the thing about me is that the process of waiting for a new ep is relatively new for me... i watched the pilot when it came out like everyone else did but at the time i was too focused on a different show to really care (one, which is funny, since its an extremely similar show conceptually) (i highly recommend it i was obsessed w it for well over a year and thats like. genuinely some sort of record for me. and when i say the shows are similar i mean soooo similar. not enough that they fill the same spot in my heart but like. if you watch it ull see what i mean heart emoji). i was around when the teaser came out but i wasnt super invested at the time. it was only like 2 months ago that i decided to get high and watch the show and i was like. woah. woah wait this show fucks

ive liked shows n stuff that were ongoing so its not like im unfamiliar w that concept but i feel like every show and its community and its team has a different feeling and cycles to new parts of it coming out. and bc ive never seen how that works for this show im very excited to find out... i find older posts abt teasers and images from episodes and the site and whatnot and i imagine ill be weird and very not normal about it! because that tends to be my response to those sorts of things

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Just curious, will you ever draw megop?

I can see why its the most popular ship, if I had just gotten into transformers now I think I would have been a big fan, there’s so much good fan content for them and I can’t deny their relationship is pretty gay, but my mind is consumed with other robot thoughts ya know? Sides, you guys don’t need me, there’s plenty of talented megop artists out there haha!

I have drawn a stupid joke with them once before, maybe I'll redraw that but more better??

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Talia saying Jason with 24 hours and a survival kit, fresh from the pit, couldn't be tracked by Ra's is interesting

And oopsies I liveblogged all of lost days in the tags of this post

[snekdood]

idk who needs to hear this but its okay to hate ppl. its ok to distrust ppl. no, obviously, you shouldn't do anything stupid and hurt someone. no, obviously, you shouldn't lock yourself away forever. but I don't think most ppl who feel these kinds of ways actually want to do that and are more or less just frustrated and trying to express that emotion. I think suppressing it is worse.

dont let tumblr people make you feel like a shitty person just because you want to feel your emotions.

[carbonfiction]

i know the general census is that frank is gentle but how would he handle if his little bunny that seemed all innocent and shy liked it insanely rough? not just spanking and backshots “rough” but face slapping and grabbing, breath play like holding her mouth and nose, intense manhandling like chokeholds and being held in the air to show how small she is in his arms and lowk clit torture. and she likes to act all delicate because she is and can’t even fit him all the way in after training and also squirts from a few touches to her clit but she likes being broken and wants him to use every ounce of his strength to do that and i need him to skullfuck me with my hands tied behind my back with a vibrator assaulting my clit…and then he slaps my cheek over and over and then pulling out to put me in a chokehold until i’m bruised 🐳 glasses anon i need him to break five pairs monthly from how rough he is i need him to CORRUPT MEEE

FIRSTLY!! 🐳ANON HELLOO<33 I have missed you<3

Please you are so real, it’s like actually a carnal needdddd how bad I need frank to hold my jaw and coo filthy filthy things at me while he blows out my back. And you are SO right on the corruption and skull fucking omggggg. Oh and I also wanna add bc of this ask (and my absolutely foul thoughts on born again bearded frank) I ammmm working on a rougher/mean!Frankie piece rn and I am quaking each time I open the draft. I cannot wait to get a sec to get it finished for y’all <3

im praying this is understandable enough though and not complete waffle😭 I struggle trying to get my thoughts out clearly enough sometimes if ya couldn’t already tell🥲 18+smut thoughts below the cut inc themes of rough sex, breath play/choking, Size kink? Doggy/prone? Was the goal anyway😭Overstimulation, bodily fluids and aftercare (pleeeeease lmk if I've missed anything, i always go blank tagging😭)

Buuuuuuut buckle up! in response to this, I feel like if there’s anyone who can offer the rough stuff it’s him yk? Obviously if you were to let him, no mattwr how embarrassed you could be about it, he'd listen openly. But just know there would be SO many conversations beforehand on likes, dislikes, hard limits, safe words, boundary’s ect, and this goes for both of you! Neither of you want to make the other uncomfortable, especially not in a moment that takes such a level of sexual intimacy, trust and even respect. (Even when being deceptively disrespectful sometimes)

Frank strikes me (and im sure many of you guys) as task motivated so if his baby bun wants something a certain way, he’s going to ensure everything is correct for her to get it. He loves you too much to do anything without afformentioned confirmation. This also includes a lot of discussion on what sort of thing you need for aftercare within those moments when things get heavy too-

And I say those moments bc I don’t think he’d always indulge it? like dont get me wrong, he’d do it, but it’s not going to be every single time you fuck yk? He might incorporate bits here and there like a lil hard tap on the cheek for your attention “eyes on me, yeah, there she is, theres my dirty girl” or a hand on the neck “that feelin good sweetheart? That pretty head gettin all fuzzy?”

Perhaps frank even indulges you with licks of overstim outside of those moments, forfilling it with whatever form is within the mood- vibe, his mouth or fingers. “Shhh, You can take it. Taken more than this before, atta girl, you feel it, aint gotta think, just gotta keep cummin”

But the whole shebang? The whole 9 yards of him getting reeeeal rough, properly leaving marks, really manhandling or getting intensely mean would definitely be different; perhaps even almost planned? Like for example those moments are reserved for say arguments sake, ovulation, pent up stress relief or when your headspace is feeling a specific way?

The way he fucks, the way he talks and touches you? All Completely different to how frank would usually operate in the bedroom and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest!! I just personally feel it would take as much out of frank to do it as it would for you to take it yk?

But That being said he would be disgustingly good with it when he does use it <3

Wrapping his big bicep beneath your chin as he fucks into you harshly from behind, the other hand pinching and slapping at your tits- the taugt buds of your nipples- sharply enough to make you jerk and gasp. Problem is though, the more you jerk and react the more he tightens his hold, squeezing you in the headlock until he can feel the flutters of your cunt and the heaves of your chest. His massive body completely draped over yours, the weight of him pressing you down toward the mattress, hips pummelling your backside in a brutal fashion, punching deep and fast. "Fuckin tight little hole's squeezin my cock, you like not bein able to breathe? feelin me in your tummy?" the hand at your tits drifting to press at your stomach making you squeak, the pressure intensifying the pleasure coursing through you. "Yeaaah, yeah you love all that cock in there dontcha Bun, greedy fuckin girl. Made for it, just lettin me use that pussy how i want"

That hand (sometimes then reaching for your vibe if the mood so runs that way) will then drift further down to your puffy clit, already oversensitive and abused from prior attention. Frank slaps it once, twice, three times before immediately massaging tight, quick figure eights until you practically end up limp in his grip, eyes rolling back as you cum again with a choked, almost gargled moan. Your cunt squeezing him almost as tight as the grip on your neck before he lets go; letting euphoria take over your body with each gasp of oxygen that fills your lungs.

Frank does not stop until he feels you physically cannot cum anymore (or you Safeword!!). He fucks you through orgasm after orgasm (even his own) until you’re nothing short of a mess, practically trembling like a newborn deer and the slightest brush on your clit has your legs closing with a broken yowl. Panting body absolutely covered with various marks, drying spit, slick and cum.

The aftercare, while hes incredible with it generally, is then a complete 180 however- gone is all the roughness of his movements, the sharpness of his words. Replaced by touchs that are feather light and words careful, quiet grumbles as he checks in on you. "Hey pretty girl.. Heads all hazy huh? I know.. But i gotcha, franks gotcha, your safe."

Once you've had a drink and a little bite to eat, some fruit or something simple, he'll always carry you to the bathroom and only leave you to change the sheets as you sit to pee (bc christ forbid a uti on his watch-) then you can lean back against his chest in the warm water of the bath he left running, his broad body sat behind yours as he gets you clean without you even needing to move.

Whispers of soft praise and gentle shushes filling the echoing bathroom as he ensures every sensitive inch of skin is clean even when your eyes droop. "Shhh, i know.. Know its sore baby, just one more moment. One more swipe n' ill leave it alone yeah?" punctuated with a soft kiss to your temble that an hour ago you wouldn't of been able to even dream of him doing.

Frank dries you off with the softest towl you own, of course warmed by the dryer. soothing your skin with a lotion and/or balm you love. Never forgetting to pay extra gentle attention to the red welts on your ass, thighs and chest as he tells you how gorgeous you are in a moment that sometimes, you can feel anything but.

He'll help you into the pajamas you choose (wether your own or one of his shirts/boxers) and not bat a single eye if wearing panties to bed is too uncomfortable for you to handle.

Once fully comfortable his first mission is to then get you a propper snack or little meal. Insisting food is fuel and you need it after everything he put you through as he treads of to the kitchen. Coming back to then execute mission number 2: laying down with you resting cuddled up on his chest.

Fingers softly running over your arm as he presses kisses anywhere he can with little movement. "Doin okay sweetheart? You tell me if you need anything else alright? Nothins too much for my girl." " so proud of you, ya know that?"

"Gettin sleepy down there? I know..shh, you get some rest. Not goin anywhere i promise, Love you sweetheart"

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[leashybebes]

sentences sunday

tagged by @bidisasterevankinard

in which we smash forward eight years because i am incapable of writing in order

"Can I give you a ride home?"

"Nah, it's okay, I'll call a car."

"Tommy. C'mon. I still remember the address," Evan says, teasing.

"I moved," Tommy tells him.

"Yeah?" 

Tommy taps his cane against the table, doesn't mention the years in Sacramento. "Not a lot of call for a Muay Thai set up these days."

"What, uh. Can I ask what happened?"

"Wrecked the truck," Tommy says, because it's an easier shorthand than explaining everything that came after.

Evan winces. "Sorry, man. I know you loved that beast."

Tommy shrugs. "Could have been worse, believe it or not."

He sees Evan's mouth shape around the word what, knows he's going to ask for more detail, and feels a flare of relief when his phone rings. A reflexive smile tugs at his mouth when he sees the caller ID, and he shoots Evan an apologetic look as he answers. He doesn't even manage to get a word out before - 

"Heyyy, Uncle Tommy."

He knows that tone only too well. That's the my roommate's an asshole and I need to study tone. "Key's in the usual place. Let yourself in."

"Where are you?"

"Just getting coffee with an old friend," Tommy says, glancing over at where Evan is scrolling on his phone in the way people do when they want to seem like they're not listening. "I'll be home soon, we can order Thai."

"Awesome. I'll see you soon. Ciao, Zio."

"Ciao, Mostro."

He hangs up on the sound of Sera's laughter, unable to help smiling.

Evan looks at him curiously. "Boyfriend?"

"Nah. Sal's kid. She's at UCLA, although you wouldn't know it for how much time she spends eating me out of house and home."

Evan grins. "That's cute. You sure about that ride home?"

"I'm sure. It was good to see you, Buck. Evan. Captain."

Evan laughs, ducks his head. Tommy had almost forgotten that gesture, and it makes him feel warm and nostalgic and fond. "Evan's fine. Hey, can we do this again sometime?"

"I'd love that," Tommy says honestly. "I'm a boring nine to five guy now, so just let me know when you're free."

tagging below - as always, let me know if you want in/out

@typicalopposite @silversky9 @my-ari-fan-blog1 @setmeatopthepyre @theres-a-tvjoe

@de-lphic @teabroomsandbooks @nydoorin-lionett @all-the-feelss @yveieec

@faerietle @rosyhoneydew @kinardbuckleys @a-mel0n @bucktommyscones

@louorcastiel @mmso-notlikethat @hyperfocusthusly @sweet-jani @subduedpondering

@beckym2001

[febuwhump]

Question about the mods :D Out of curiosity

Have all mods been working all six years of Febuwhump? Or have they changed around a few times since the first one you ran?

as stated a billion kajillion times, there is only one mod! that is me! @tempestaurora!

6 years of history is a little different though, so here's how febuwhump still exists today:

6 years ago, febuwhump existed and was run by someone unknown. I do not have graphics from that event, I have never seen anything to prove it happened other than I was told it did (and a few fics on ao3), so the whole thing is like a murder mystery without proof that theres even a dead body. I asked around and tried to figure out who ran it in the years since and got firmly nowhere.

I think this mystery person (or people) only ran 1 year, but there's no way to be sure. either way, all of that febuwhump existence I refer to as the first febuwhump. After febuwhump 2019, the blog was deleted. The url became available.

at the time, I was in an irondad spiderson discord server and @hailing-stars (some might recognise the name as the only other febuwhump discord server mod ever) was sad about how the febuwhump blog had vanished and it was a shame. I think they'd taken part the year before and wanted to again.

I went, lol that doesn't sound hard to run. I'll run it so you can take part.

so for febuwhump 2020, which we call febuwhump 2: electric boogaloo, because it was a sequel to the original febuwhump, and I never wanted to claim being the original febuwhump, I ran specifically for just that one person, although 400 fics were written for the collection that year, and it wasn't that hard, and it went really well, and a whump blog interviewed me about it (which I can't find now).

and then I just kept going. like zero thoughts in my brain, every time the year wrapped back around to December I went, oh I guess it's time to plan febuwhump. hailing does not even participate anymore to my knowledge, I am just still going on auto-event or something.

so it's been me by myself the whole time! for 5 years! we had febuwhump 3: tokyo drift, fourbuwhump, feb five and now, currently, febuwhump: revenge of the sixth, which is why I have been hiding little obi wan kenobis in the blog art for a month and a half.

I am totally content to run febuwhump by myself, although every year I get a lot of people volunteering to help which is sweet. I just don't really need it. it's not a hard job lol.

but if anyone wants to solve the mystery of who ran the first febuwhump, that would be fun. I have been feeling a little like I've been standing in someone's grave for five years and I really want to be able to give credit where credit is due.

I also get asks every year about why the event is called "febuwhump" and not "februwhump". I even see people mistakenly tag the latter in their prompt fills. so the official reason for that is - I didn't name the event. a mystery person did. and we continue to use it because of brand identity and februwhump simply not sounding very good.

[velvetvexations]

Since we're talking about forcefem, here're most of the forcefem-related asks I've had in my inbox, some of which are a few days old on account of technically going in the vexatious tag if not exactly kink asks. I wanted to answer one from today on it's own which I'll get to later but I wanted to get to the older ones and also get to a few of the others from today while I was at it.

i just saw a post where a trans guy was showing some messages where someone was (unconsensually) basically roleplaying forcefemming him. despite him telling them that he did not want that and that it was very much transphobic, and he atill got a message boiling down to "you're not a man, silly, you're a girl :D" and. to be honest. this was the thing that stopped the brainworms of "what if the whole concept of transandrophobia is actually transmisogynistic and i am entirely wrong" bc at least some of these people will just say the most bog standard transphobic shit to trans guys and not register it as transphobia. so why the fuck would they be right about anything transmascs experience also on that note thank you for being so outspoken in favour of transmascs getting to discuss their oppression. it's really helpful to see trans women stand with us here, especially when it comes to aforementioned brainworms

congratulations to that transphobe for creating a new transandrobro

the 'forcemasc isnt revolutionary' shit is the most annoying iteration of stupid tumblr discourse. like im going through the tag trying to read some horny shit and oh look. theres someone being stupid and hypocritical. in my horny tag.

people are getting tribalist about kinks and it's depressing

Every time people are saying that trans men & mascs cannot possibly fathom being objectified & fetishized, I think on all of the posts I’ve seen that did that exact same thing. And yeah, some of it might have been kink, so no hate no judgement I dabble in that tag too, but I’ve also seen “get in the dress” type posts that seem to be genuinely calling for trans men to be more feminine, untagged & in the wild, enough where I’m like — am I just imagining this? Like am I crazy? Am I missing something, or was that extremely detailed post about why I MUST stay feminine — or become more — for someone else’s benefit being 100% serious? And, again — if it’s kink, all the power to them, I love that for them, I even occasionally love that for me. But I have encountered enough people who were dead serious that I sometimes want no one but trusted friends & advisors to ever witness me again. And then I look at statistics & feel genuinely ill. And yeah, I’m gnc — and there’s the rub, because while I feel genuine joy being fem as well as masc, I want it to be a Choice, not something forced upon me.

people need to be fucking normal

Yh like ik a lot of shitposts don't have any tags but people have. Really gotta tag forcefem. I've blocked a large amount of people making these jokes + filtered their names n I still see it

I'm sorry, anon. <3

Fuck thank you so much for talking so openly about forcemasc. I’m so dumb I thought there wasn’t a name for that kink that I’ve been into for years, albeit my version is way more weirder. It would be like a… forcemascfem??? Like first it’s forcemasc and then it turns into forcefem and then right back to forcemasc…. And then back to- Idk my gender is weird and my kinky fantasy for that is weird

Cross as many boundries as you want, that sounds rad. Forcefem has a lot of infrastructure to jump off of.

“I’m doing a kink in a non kink way so it’s not kink blog!” Sorry this pisses me off It’s still a kink. Like. If someone made an I-suggest-BDSM blog and tried to claim it wasn’t a kink blog I’m sure more people would see how silly this is but because it’s the transfem approved virtuous forcefem they just let it slide??? Like. You are engaging in a kink and thats fine. You can say there won’t be anything explicitly sexual! But it will still be a kink blog because it’s a blog about a kink! A kink blog if you will! It doesn’t matter if you’re not getting off to it, it’s still a kink! That you are participating in! On your blog about that kink!

It SHOULD piss you off! It's extremely fucking scummy!

what the hell? for like one solid minute(longer than that but i like saying it this way) all the forcefem on my dash was tagged and i could blissfully not have to see it every other post and then just today i had to unfollow a buncha people for an assload of untagged forcefem :/ like im transmasc i think its understandable that i do not wish to see that anyway hope your day is goin well miss velvet

yeah it's praxis to not tag kink anymore

trfs are perfectly aware what the "force" bit means when forcemasc comes up in conversation

strange how that works

[evil-alex]

i NEEED to remake this

intro post... im so c ool

some of this is outdated so like. yah

-

SO !!!! my names are EVIL or ALEX or C00LKIDD or TWO TIME or SUBSPACE or AEREIS if u knew me when i went by dragoon feel free 2 use that too

prnouns are HE / THEY / IT / XEY / AEREIS / STAR / SPAWN . no she her or i jeff the killer you. ok. trans masc and aerispecic

-

kins are C00LKIDD, BLUUDUD, CONTRACTEE, SHEDLETSKY, NOOB, BUILDERMAN (forsaken), SUBSPACE (phighting), AIRY (hfjone), WHITEOUT (wof), STAR (tbotv), ARTIFICER (rainworld), V1 (ultrakill), AEREIS (creatures of sonaria), RUST_010 (roblox myths). theres others but idc. big ones, medium kins, light kins, questioning . they fluctuate a Lot .

MINOR!!! grahhh pls no be weird...

-

I FORGOT. ART TAG IS #evil alex art UMMM. YEAH.! even muy like. sketches r in it. i mighy make a seperate blog for art sometime

i vent Lightly sometimes (? not sure how 2 word) but most of it is on anothr blog Euuuurrm. older vent posts have the '#vent' though js incase

MY DSICORD IS .evil.alex. uuhjmm i deny random requests so like lmk if u wanna send a req. I love talking to my Frieands:)

-

MOOTS. MUTUALS. PEOPLE WHO ARE AWARE OF MY EXISTENCE. ALL OF YOU. I WILL PUT YOU ON THE NICE LIST IF YOU @ ME ON SUBSPACE POSTS. ANY KIND. RAMBLING ABT HIM JUST ART I DONT CARE HE IS AN INFESTATION IN MY BRAIN. IDC IF U TAG ME IN STUFF IVE SEEN ALREADY ILL STILL GO WILD OVER IT. THE SAME GOES FOR TWO TIME IF U @ ME ON TWO TIME ART OR RAMBLES OR ANYTHING RELATED TO THEM ILL GIVES U A BIG HUG

-

i. really like THESE things: DIALTOWN, FORSAKEN, PK CIV, TBOTV, IN STARS AND TIME, REGRETEVATOR, PHIGHTING, ULTRAKILL!!!!, PHIGHTING AGAIN, OBJECT SHOWS(hfjone, ii), CLASS OF 09, RAINWORLD, CREATURE SURVIVAL GAMES(audaciga, sonaria, a few wip ones),,, WARRIORS and OMORI KINDA (mostly js the art… ok)

-

i like a lotta music artists: alex g, mitski, will wood, stomach book, femtanyl, gezebelle gaburgably, lemon demon, furry loser, the living tombstone, rmilk in the microwave, the crane wives, and tryna get into nin recently

-

DNI !! uuh THE USUAL. people who like gettin freaky with MINORS... proshippers/comshippers, antifurries/antitherians, queerphobics, zoos. the usual.. if you do the "two time is borijgn as shit!!" DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME that shit isnt fucking funny

-

DO interact iif u like mmy interests because i Like to talk to people abt them

-

@evil-c00lkidd coolkidd bloig (forsaken). yah. biggest kin Right Now so.

@creature-alex aereiskin blogging

@eviltwotime TWO TIME BLOG. LLALAALLAA

@thetrianglesdoyougetit self indulgent ✺ blog. idc.

@v1-ifitwascoolandawesome okauy. V1 blog. Go kill it idk

@greatscientistsubspacetmine also self indulgent subspace blog . i reblog stuff w/ him. im literally him irl

@reblogging-alex reblogging. and stuff.

i am usually open to conversation!!! i may be a tad bit silly though....

art comms OPEN KIND OF its just reqs. Mainly. i dont have a way to pay rn unless u wanna buy roblox warrior cats gamepasses for me

i hav autism n stuff.. heh... you could say im not like other people... also Maybe adhd. Family history n stuff. maybe other stuff (something trauma related. Lolz!) im kinda a fucked up liottle guy

GAY!!! GAY I LIKE BOYS. I LIKE MEN.

IM NOT A SYSTEM!! IM NOOTTTT! the humbel guys in muy head: jack he/it (uses #jack tag) types Fucked Up cuz he goy paws two time they/it (uses ^_^ a decent bit? i think?) aerin they/it/xey/star star she/he (hasnt fronted inlike.. a month)

most of us Arent religious and stuff but two time is still devout to the spawn. Freaak

sorry if im tmi just lmk if i overshare. its kind hard to tell 4 me. i lioke to talk a lot

also if ur curious abt the characters i like or anything hmu... i WILL talk at you for extended periods of time abt the,,m...

ill make an actual strawpage again maybe. Later

FREE PS!!! 🍉🍉🍉i am unfortunately not able to donate anything but i wish all the best for every person affected 🙏🙏

[buggerzz]

Was thinking about @shapeshiftersinc 's binders and wanted to review them on here :D

Im gonna be fully honest because. Why the hell would i lie???

Overview-

They are a great binder company. I fully reccomend buying from them- they have the best chest binders ive been able to find and are extremely inclusive and helpful. If you have the money to get one and are worrying it wont be worth it. Trust me. It is.

Pros-

Extremely comfortable.

I mean it. I have sensory issues- other binders ive had have been way too itchy and uncomfortable for me to wear regularly. Id always have issues with the tags- even after i cut them out, it always bothers me.

Shapeshifters have been WAY better. I dont know if it's the materials, the construction, or what but they are wonderful to wear. Ive had the occasional issue with the tag, but its small and pretty ignorable. Plus, I'm about 90% sure you could ask them to just not add it to avoid it entirely. Ive had no issues with scratchiness. Their mesh is breathable, not itchy, and stretchy :D half the time i can completely forget that im even wearing a binder, which says a LOT.

Fit & Bind-

Shapeshifters. Amazing once again. Theyre custom sized to your measurements, which avoids unnecessary tightness in the ribs, gaping at the top, or inconsistent/nonexistent binding. Im a 38DD-40DDD depending on brand, and literally no other binders have had anywhere near this level of bind. Obviously it doesnt get completely flat- but it gets as close as possible. Id say its about the same prominence as laying on your back with no bra- maybe a bit bigger. That being said, thats a HUGE improvement from every other brand ive tried.

Plus, if you have issues with things digging in anywhere or not fitting how you want, they do free alterations. WHICH IS INSANELY HELPFUL BY THE WAY.

Variety-

They have many different patterns and styles and types of binders. It's a lot of different options- undergarments to normal tops, gothic to pastel to flat colors. If youre somewhere hot they have purely mesh binders for extra ventilation, etc.

Plus, if you want a specific pattern you can custom order your own fabric design! Im doing this for my new one and am very excited. (Its the same pattern i have as my banner :>

Customer Service-

Actually wonderful. Eli has been the one talking with me on both of my binders, so i think theyre the main (English) customer service worker! Theyre wonderful and very helpful- straight to the point, speedy, and patient.

I had no clue I needed to upload my pattern to spoonflower and proof it, and they helped me with that even though I could've just. Read the product description 😭

Lots of love to Eli. Also Im so sorry im stupid???? Youre wonderful.

Ease of use-

Im disabled- big shoulder issues. If i angle it the wrong way it dislocates. Bit uncomfy. That being said, most binders are literally painful for me to put on. Especially to take off. It hurts and is a whole mess. However. Shapeshifter's stretchier fabrics make it easier to take on and off. Putting it on is usually completely fine. Taking it off can be an issue. But its way easier than other brands thankfully.

HOWEVER. shapeshifters offers zippers to be built in. Which seems bad because of uneven pressure, but they have stiff inserts in all zipper binders to evenly distribute the bind. When I ordered my 1st binder, i for some reason got the zipper on the side of my bad shoulder?? I usually only use the zipper to take it off, so its fine, but zipping it on is a nightmare. But thats on me because i ordered it stupidly. That being said, zipping it off is actually amazing. If theres any discomfort from the binder, I can just zip it down for a bit. Or i can fully take it off so much easier. 2nd binder from them, i havent ordered the zipper because its not that difficult for me personally to take it off without, but i would recommend it if you need that extra ease!

Durability-

An old binder had tearing stitching after 2 months of semi-regular wear. Bad. My shapeshifter binder ive been wearing up to 5 days a week for up to 8 hours a day. The only signs of wear it has is some deodorant stains. Need I say more. It also hasnt stretched at all- it has the same bind and comfort and fit as it did the day I got it.

CAN YOU SEE WHY I LOVE THESE.

CONS NOW!!

Time

They do take a while to be made and arrive. Because theyre custom made by a small team, it takes a couple months to get one. I ordered one in July and got it in August, for example. I personally do not care about this one because it is such a high quality binder.

Price

Once again, small team making high quality custom products. It gets pricey. My first one was $116 including shipping, taxes, etc. Its important to note that i got a zipper (+$20) and a lot of customization options not everyone will need or want! Once again, i think its worth it as it will probably last me a WHILE. Also they gotta pay their team fairly. WE LOVE PAYING PEOPLE LIVABLE WAGES!

Overall, I do reccomend. In fact I've gotten a friend to get themselves one aswell lmao

Theyre actually an amazing team and i wish them lots of love, appreciation, and success!! Cant wait to get my new binder >:D

[purrpl-png]

What is your opinion on Beast x Ancient?

sighhh deep down i knew someday ill have to answer this question😞

i dont really like participating in ship discourses and it turned out a little longer than i thought, so im placing it undercut for those who are interested enough to read what i think

the answer is that its not for me. at least not in a romantic way. at least not for now. i was never really a fan of ships with complicated/toxic dynamics or hero x villain or rivals at all. for example, i never liked billford or tomtord or even sonadow and stuff like that. not that theyre entirely bad, its just not for me and gives me discomfort, because i was in toxic relationships myself and i just can't help but associate them with my personal experience. this includes beast x ancient and even some of the beast x beast too with the way i portay beasts characters in my mind, but its not about them

honestly, i am not really into shipping in general as i cant really understand or process the concept of shipping in my mind as a whole, if it makes sense. like i personally never truly understood the exact point of it nor felt the urge to ship. but i do understand that shipping plays a huge role in every fandom and its just how it is, people having fun, even if i am somewhere far away from all this. ofc i drew a couple of 'shipey' things out of pure joke (ex. my shadowbill animation), but never went any further than that. doesnt mean that i dont ship anything at all, i like some ships, but its not like HUGE for me and is very rare, it's just very difficult to explain exactly

dont get me wrong, id LIE if i said that i dont like to see beasts and ancients interact with each other. id lie if i said i dont enjoy the possibility of many interesting scenarios between them and an idea of slow redemption arcs either. all these parallels and tragic doomed soulmates stuff is SICK AF, i like their dynamics and contrasts between the characters. their bond is like a foundation of life itself; their virtues cannot exist without each other, no matter how much they like it or not and theyre complete opposites, but at the same time theres NO ONE whos is more similar to them than they are to each other. all of them are the only perfect match to confront each other and its such a peak cinema i wish more people didnt sleep on, because theres SO much you can do with it💔

unfortunately, i saw a lot of people romantize/fetishize very weird things iykwim... ive seen some HORRENDOUS bad terrible uncomfortable stuff i wish i didnt, that i clearly dont support and dont interact with :( it even made me block some of the tags. and while im still here, i want to remind that i have pr0ship in my dni, so if youre a pr0shipper reading this, please, unfollow/block me, because ive seen some interacting with my posts before😞

and just to add, of course i know that most of beast x ancient shippers dont do that, because some of my online AND irl friends i knew for YEARS and i sure know they wouldnt hurt a fly in their life and dont approve of such things at all either, liked beast x ancient, but i still prefer not to engage with most of it anyway just in case

thank you for listening to my little yap session, i hope any of it made sense, i am not really much of a public talker honestly and interacting with any fandoms and people in it usually gives me some kind of anxiety and mixed feelings, because im struggling with comprehending peoples attention. its been like that for years and ongoing even now, but im really trying to open up a little as a person and not just a rando who usually drops their drawings once in a while and disappears until the next time lol

[schwarzgeier-side]

HI GEIER A FUN QUESTION FOR U but do you have any particular artists and/or pieces of media (like movies shows videogames etc) that inspire your own art style/you want to take inspiration from?? Ive asked a couple peeps and I'm curious abt you!!!

OMG MY TURN?? THANK U HHH Im still baffled sometimes by you knowing i exist dhdhdh but im honored.

Sooo Inspiration huh. Very interesting topic for me because i am. Very much shaped by the art and media I like / consume. And yet i dont feel like much of it shows up in my own art style really. I am not sure why, probably because i never fully. Studied art tbh. Went to art school in free time ever since i was a 1st grader but i still feel like i skipped some major steps in actual art teachings. Color theory is my enemy.

But as direct inspirations I would say I have wayy to many to count.

Signalis (unsuprisingly) has been a literal life changing experience and I am putting down here because i cannot fully express how much it fuels me and my artistic aspirations ever since i played it. I truly wish to make a story on signalises level that can impact others.

As a second biggest inspo , i have to go with my long term soft spot that i have for the Dishonored series , specificly the art of Dishonored 2 will never leave my soul. There were multiple incredible artists working on the design team but the general feel and dedication they put into this world is smth i wish to do similiarly. Arkanes general philosophy aligns with mine.

For final big game i suppose ill put Ultrakill. I dont know what it is specificly about it that makes me so. At awe of it but it scratches my brain in similair way signalis did with its low poly style and striking colors and solid designs.

For artists god uh theres to many fjfhshdhg my own art changes style everydamn week i feel like but at least for people that impact me lately . @mrzuddie(sorry for the tag)s style has personaly spoken to me on a lot of levels , dont know why specificly but it scratches my brain so well . I always admired the more. Chaotic artstyles ? Sketchy , or rough looking pieces speak to me more than smth hyper realistic or shaded. Thats why i like pixelated stuff too. Remarins speedpaints on youtube were big part of my teen years i would say and they shaped me into being a digital artist mainly. Shiwasu Hoshikawa's Bungo Stray Dogs art also falls under the scratchy wild art category i love and wish i could replicate more .

I cant really think of any movie funikly enough that shaped me artisticly much. I like Top Gun Maverick but thats cause im a pilot and have a history with it fjfhfj. 9 film from 2009 was striking though that might have been subconciously affecting me. Also as most i think Into the spideverse and any recent well animated movie can fall in this category.

Idunno i just. Like to draw. I need to create stuff. And everything around me influences the way i draw. Including you btw your art is incredible and It is honestly fascinating studying the texture of your brushes and strokes. Thank you for asking me :]

[karoochui]

Oh god look at the halloween boys🥺🥺

I love them so much your design is AMAZING

Whats their au tho?

Runs up to you in a cold sweat and screams in your face

Okay so crazy thing is this AU follows directly after my original pizzaplex AU. Well okay maybe not DIRECTLY after since the sun and moon designs you see are them after like. Thousands of years. Im still working with it but the premise is the world they live in is an odd mix of ancient/modern world stuff and futuristic magic. And since its a two parted story the follow up AU is called ": ROUND 2". so i guess you could call it that if you like. Im still working on an origin AU name though. (Ill edit the tags for these posts when i get it).

And yes these guys are much more fucked up mentally because they had to get through a mutative apocalypse to get there and pretty much everything is re-evolved in some way. It happens some time after the plex burns down so up until that point the timeline is relatively the same (unless i change it, at least). Its inspired of how adventure time did their stuff except we arent doing the princess and candy stuff kinda magic. So yes humans are still a thing, just sparse.

And the reason they practically look the same after thousands of years is bc idk Rule of Cool i do what i want. The changes for them are more internal anyway. Or deeper than internal. However you wanna call it.

It includes themes of reincarnation, specifically with the reader. And yn actually dies the night of the gregory's break in to the plex. (Yeah the first part does NOT end well).

It will lean towards romantic but not until after a LOT of work. You fucking die for christs sake. Not that you remember that. However it will be mostly platonic/pining, because i like the chase more than the real thing when it comes to reading or writing, funnily enough. Im not as familiar with writing romance as i am with drawing it so that might also be a part of it.

Theres more i could say, but i dont wanna say too much. Mostly because i'm not sure yet what parts are susceptible to change. As for everything I've said here though I think it'll stay pretty solid.

[espers-n-espurrs]

okay. time to explain as much as i am comfortable explaining.

pls heed the tws in the tags.

due to a butterfree effect of me going to the hospital a lot of things have been made known to me. things that will forever change my life and the only real reason im sharing some of this is because i will end up talking about it on here. so. uh. for the short of it.

i have learned my name is not esper hargrove. i have learned that all of my legal documents have been forged. i have learned that my da kidnapped me and my brother when i was seven and that he had been lying to me my entire life about damn near seemingly everything.

my birthday isnt even my actual birthday.

apparently my name is estelle wyrmwood. at least legally. pls keep calling me esper.

im currently having to go through the entire process of being given new legal guardians/"returned" to my legal guardian, getting all of my legal documents fixed, etc.

theres a lot. to talk about. and im not sure how to.