#i am not paid enough to be a salesman too

[nekofantasia]

Favourite corporate thing: my boss telling "this is not me scolding" and then proceeds to scold.

[octuscle]

The car makes the man

James didn't actually want a car. Cars were the death of the planet. Cars were an expression of a cult of masculinity. Cars were time wasters. But the new job he had required a car. He couldn't cope with his deadlines without one. The new job paid well. The car was paid for twice and three times over thanks to the pay rise. And he only wanted something small and used. The car had to be reliable and use little or no fossil fuel. And above all, it had to be small. Finding a parking space in James' neighborhood was hell.

James had prepared himself. On his iPad, he had selected a number of possible offers. And now he was walking through the rows of used car dealers far outside the city, looking for the small cars he had liked on the internet. And then he saw his nightmare: the epitome of a used car dealer approaching him. A man almost 2 meters tall, corn-fed, toothpaste grin. And a handshake like a vice.

"Hi, I'm Honest Pete, how can I help you son?" James said looking around first, thank you very much! Pete said that wouldn't be a problem. Could he offer a coffee? James nodded and tried as hard as possible not to make eye contact with the pushy salesman. Pete disappeared, only to return shortly afterwards with a tin cup. James was surprised, he had expected an espresso cup. "You look like a guy who drinks his coffee strong, black and hot. Am I right?" James was actually more of an herbal tea drinker. But to be polite, he took the cup and took a sip. Shit! It was bloody strong! "So son, who's the car for? Your girlfriend? You won't have a daughter who can drive yet." Pete laughed boomingly. James smiled curiously and said that he needed a car for work. "I knew you were lost. Follow old Pete!" James actually wanted to protest. But my God, Pete was a professional. Maybe he should make a suggestion. "On a side note, son: I like your haircut! A good honest mullet is the only way a man can wear his hair long. Not that hipster man bun shit. Am I right?" Hehehe, thought James. Business in the front, party in the back. And he had a lot of partying in the back. Pete asked what his name was. James replied and Pete slapped him on the shoulder. "Jim, nice to meet you. I bet we're going to have a lot of fun today.“ Just as James was about to reply that it was "James" and not "Jim", Pete took a tin of chewing tobacco out of his pants, took a pinch and held it out to James. "Sorry, smoking's not allowed here. But maybe this will help you." Shit, Pete was a good judge of character. James's fingers and teeth were more than enough to recognize the smoker. James gratefully accepted a pinch. Good stuff!

James and Pete passed a row of sports cars. James looked not uninterested. But Pete recognized his look and waved it right off. "Son, this European shit is not for you. You'll only fit in these cars if you're anorexic. And you easily weigh 260 pounds, don't you?" The man was good, James thought to himself…. It might be closer to 280 pounds right now, he thought as he patted the beginnings of a beer belly. "Son, no shame! A man's belly has to jiggle when he laughs. Otherwise he's not a man." Pete laughed again and his belly jiggled. James joined in and his belly jiggled too. "Besides," Pete punched James' shoulders again. "I know the problem. Still a brick wall of a man in high school, but once you have to work…" "You said it, Pete!" replied James. "I mean, in high school days, I lived on the football field and in the gym formally. But now…" Pete said, not fishing for compliments here, Jim was still one of the big boys. It was all the more important to find the right car for him. James snorted out the chewing tobacco and took a sip of coffee. It was still hot, but now it didn't burn the roof of his mouth. Pete indicated that James had something on his mouth. Fuck yeah, dew tobacco liked to get stuck in his mighty full beard. He rubbed his beard and asked "better?". Pete nodded and asked Jim's shoe size. At least a 12, right? James replied a 12 in tuner shoes, more like a 13 in boots like now. "I thought so" Pete replied. "We need something with big pedals, don't we James?" "Mate, it's Jim, not James! And the pedals shouldn't be the only thing that's big about the car." "Sure, it should suit you, big boy! But I think we've got just the thing for you here! Perfect for work. You can fit all your tools in the back. And if you go hunting, you'll have room for a dog, a rifle and a deer."

Jim took off his trucker's cap and ran his fingers through his sweaty, greasy hair. 8,000 dollars was way over his limit. His heating business wasn't making that much money at the moment. Oil heaters weren't particularly popular at the moment. But the car was awesome: big, powerful and manly! He opened the door and climbed into the driver's seat. Damn, it was like coming home. Pete was an asshole. Of course he had hit his taste exactly. He liked the car so much that he got a hard-on in his old army pants. And it didn't get any smaller when he felt Pete's hand on the bulge in his pants.

Pete became Jim's best buddy. At first they only fucked so that Jim could get a good price for the pickup. But they became the best fuck and gym buddies you could imagine. The only thing Jim couldn't persuade Pete to do was a mullet. Honest Pete was just a miserable white-collar bourgeois. But he sucked Jim's cock like the devil!

Pics by @ki-kink (he has more stuff like that!)

[waltzingwithyourenemyattheball]

PICK A CARD: WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL?

Top Left: Pile 1; Top Right: Pile 2; Bottom: Pile 3

Disclaimer:

🪈 Take what resonates and leave the rest

🪈 Disclaimer in highlight applies here

🪈 Thank you for letting me read for you, it has been a pleasure

🪈Personal readings are paid only.

🪈No one is allowed to copy my work under any circumstances.

This is written from the perspective of the divine feminine.

🤍111����

Love. The way you love people, how you pour love into everything you do, very soft energy, something not many people have. You were kissed by the sunrise, bringing light, the sun summoner if I may say so, yet your light is not harsh, it I snot the scorching sun one needs to shade away from, you are the shade when necessary, you provide warmth and coolness, I see how you love yourself and others is purifying, like how you see a child smile and you smile with them. Your presence ? Healing. Keep this essence within you, this is Radha Maa helping others through you. It is not easy to bring love and light when you have received thorns and shadows, it is not. You understand how it feels, and the heart is always ready to take another into your arms, an admiring quality, this is what makes you beautiful. You are the essence of beauty itself. Never change, never forgot to love yourself too, be kind to yourself as you are to other, as forgiving and ever ready to love someone from a fresh eye every time. Your sacral and solar plexus is important. Navel is emphasised, do massage your stomach with oil while affirming from time to time. You are the anchor to the ship that is swaying away in the ocean, there is always home within you. You are every ready to sieze the moment, you might be the one’s to say 

‘Life is to short for this, so I am gonna go ahead and do it anyway’ 

‘Better regret the action you have taken than the one you have not’

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🥀222🥀

Your passion and hunger make you beautiful. The way you charge at your target makes you beautiful. You have enough zeal to power motors to run, and yet there would be enough left for you. If you have seen Bahubali, there is scene in the 1st movie where watching Bahubali fight, others get inspired. This is the reaction people have to you. You inspire them to do better, even if you don’t get to see it, know that by simply being the way you are, you are healing humanity. You belong here. You deserve to be here. Take up space for that space if yours to take, there is no lack only abundance coming your way. Once you take a project, you finish it. You like variety and may have said the “spice is the flavour of life’. It again confirming, you also act as a guide for people, the way you talk, your ideas can shift people’s worldview. You might be the perfect person to endorse a movie or product because of the way you speak about it would have people wanting more. A good salesman (use this ability for the good). You are the bell that people hear when they have lost track of how life is supposed to be lived. If you open a social media, and talk about this stuff, lead by example, you would be successful in that too. You could also act like a consultant to sorts where you are helping people choose something, decide something, doesn’t have to be a profession.

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☾333☾

Unconventional in the conventional. You might have an ordinary job or do ordinary things is different non-ordinary, creative way. This makes you happy. That is what makes you beautiful. Bringing colour and fun to the most mundane things, you find beauty in everything. Could be super into DIY’s or a least into it. You might be the type to have creative hobbies like painting just for the sake of it, simply because you like to do it. Abundant in nature, could be scrapbooking or journaling especially art journalling. This is what makes you beautiful. You are traditional with a twist. I sense some art majors here, like painting people live like the olden days but the painting itself is modern? Take it as it resonates. A muse to many. You find yourself in poetry, dances almost like they were made for you, it’s because they were, and many more will come regardless of whether you know about the art pieces or not. You will be alive long after you are gone, in the art you made, in the pieces that were made because of you. A lot would not exist if you didn’t. You are absolutely, undeniably beautiful. I love you. What makes you the most beautiful is the faith you have, in yourself, Paramatma, the universe. You do everything with so much faith that it shocks people. People might stare at you when you are not looking, you are the best art you will ever create. Read: Strongest of the Strange by Charles Bukoweski. Some of you could be sculptures or painters of Bhakti and Religious Art. 

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-

EL TAROT

[cittielinks]

 Bartender!Kim Dokja

Jung Heewon's bar has a strict rule of not hooking up with any of the customers, and Kim Dokja has abided by this rule since the beginning of time. 

It was easy considering that he wasn't really that attractive and would sometimes be invisible to the customers. He likes his job, and he'd rather want to keep it that way. 

When Yoo Joonghyuk came to the bar he worked at, he treated him like he always treated his customers. Balanced interaction and then disappear Until they requested another drink. 

It was just a simple night on a Tuesday, and there weren't much of people inside. Kim Dokja was able to clean some tables before he got to serve a new customer. 

A tall, intimidating figure walks into the bar, and he walks straight to where he is currently tending. 

"Give me your finest whiskey," he said, his husky voice echoing unto his ears. 

Kim Dokja nodded along with his customer smile. 

He quickly poured out the best whiskey they owned and gently placed it in front of his table.

"Will you start a tab or will you be paying directly, sir?" 

The man raised his eyebrow, frowning. 

"Do you not know who I am?" He asked quite curiously. 

Kim Dokja maintained his fake smile and shook his head, 

"Not at all, sir"

Like, was Kim Dokja supposed to know all the people who entered here? Give him a break! 

"You're a little cheeky," he said, feeling amused, taking a sip of his drink while maintaining eye contact with the cute bartender. 

"Are you not afraid, I'm going to have you kick?"

"Well, sir. Your name is not Jung Heewon, I presume?" 

"It is not."

Kim Dokja nodded, 

"Then you cannot simply fire me just because you have the money. You are not my boss. Have a great evening." 

Kim Dokja tapped Yoo Sangah, quickly muttering how gonna check the inventories at the back. He'd rather manually do the labor than talk to that annoying customer. 

Yoo Joonghyuk smirked as he watched the pretty bartender move at the back. He reckon he'd see him again. Hopefully, Jung Heewon is kind enough to send him the cute bartender's details.

The next shift came, and Kim Dokja once again saw the annoying man at the bar. He secretly groaned before smiling like a salesman. 

"Good evening, Sir. What do you need?"

"Can I have the bartender's best drink?"

A vein popped in his head, his professional smile still intact.

“Of course,”

“My tab is under Yoo Joonghyuk.”

“Of course, sir.”

Kim Dokja grabbed some liquor along with some booze and made a drink out of it.

Kim Dokja wished he could just poison this guy but he does not want to tarnish his name.

“Enjoy,” he said, placing the drink in front of the man.

The man casually enjoys the drink he made, while Kim Dokja was serving drinks to the other customers.

The man, Yoo Joonghyuk, would only stare at him and never once talked to him since.

When he left, he would place a hug tip which confuses Kim Dokja but he doesn’t really care. As long as he gets paid and is not fucking some customers then he is safe.

Yoo Joonghyuk was a constant customer of Kim Dokja.

He would, without a doubt, be present, and would always buy a bartender's special and on some special occasions just straight vodka. On times when it felt like a little too much alcohol, Kim Dokja would place lemon juice on his table instead.

The man would only smirk and drink the juice he had prepared. When his shift is almost finished, the man would quietly leave a tip and he was gone for the rest of the night.

It didn’t bother Kim Dokja much, he was never harassed, the man would only drink silently and sometimes talk to Kim Dokja which irked him greatly. But he was a nice company maybe. If he would just stop flirting with him, he’s a much nicer person to have for the rest of his boring shift.

One day, Yoo Joonghyuk failed to visit the bar. It was weird considering that he was visiting almost all the time for the last 5 months.

Kim Dokja reminded himself that Yoo Joonghyuk had no obligations to visit the bar, much less him.

So he continued to work, like always.

Even when there’s a nagging feeling of something missing in his head.

“Your favorite customer isn’t here? That’s odd.” Yoo Sangag said in passing, she looked at the room and really noticed that the man isn’t present.

“He’s not my favorite, he’s annoying.” Kim Dokja sighed.

“I heard he’s the CEO or something.”

Kim Dokja blinked in surprise,

No wonder he could drink without worry and give huge tips.

“It’s not my problem,” he said.

“I’m clocking out for the night,” he added.

Yoo Sangah nodded and continued to tend the bar.

When Kim Dokja changed his clothes, he walked out on the staff door and decided to head home. He noticed, just beside the garbage dump was the same tall, handsome bastard groaning. His suit which was so pristine and ironed was crumply and unorganized.

“Sir?” he called out.

The man only groaned, his eye still closed

Kim Dokja carefully went near and tried to shake him.

“Sir, Are you okay?”

The man did not respond. Kim Dokja clicked his tongue and hauled the man with his might. He walked slowly, dragging the man’s feet, and tried to haul for a cab

“You better pay me for the fare,” he muttered as he pinch the man’s cheeks hard.

When they finally arrived at Kim Dokja’s tiny apartment, he tried to place the man on his bed. But he stumbled when he did so.

It was then he noticed that the man was already awake, though his eyes were blurry.

“Hey, Sir?”

Still no reply.

“Hey, asshole! Are you listening?”

Yoo Joonghyuk just blinked as if he never heard Kim Dokja.

Kim Dokja waved his hands closer to his face, and just then the man grabbed his hands and pulled him closer.

Yoo Joonghyuk pressed his lips unto Kim Dokja and kissed him roughly.

–

When the morning came, Kim Dokja groaned as he felt his back ache. He tried to blink but his eyes were too heavy.

“Good morning,” a very husky sauve voice murmured near his ears.

He quickly whipped his head only to see Yoo Joonghyuk butt naked, smirking as his eyes focused only on him.

He shrieks.

“OH MY GOD–” Kim Dokja fell flat on the floor, earning a chuckle from the man.

Holy shit, Kim Dokja hooked up with his customer. He’s gonna get fired!

“You’re not gonna get fired, sweetie.” Yoo Joonghyuk said, as he gently picked Kim Dokja up and place him on the bed once more.

“Shut up, asshole. This is all your fault! Jung Heewon’s gonna fire me. I’m gonna be broke again.” he groaned, he wanted to cry.

The man only laughs,

“You’re not gonna get fired. Trust me. I own the shop.”

“No, you don’t,” he answered quickly. His face was deadpan.

Yoo Joonghyuk placed a quick kiss on his forehead,

“I’m Jung Heewon’s boss. She won’t fire you.”

What?

“What?”

“Well, baby how about you give your boss a kiss?”

Kim Dokja threw a pillow in his face hard and screamed,

“FUCK YOU.”

[hestiasroom]

it really is soooooooooooooooo like my dad to interrupt my otherwise peaceful Saturday to come around begging for $9,000 fucking dollars because he hasn't paid the mortgage in months, and somehow that's now my problem. but don't worry. if i don't have the money, he'll just beg my younger sister for it instead. that's totally not a guilt trip. why doesn't he ask his wife, you may ask? well, it's simple really. he's already drained her 401k so there's simply nothing left. that well ran dry.

It's almost like that's what happens when you quit your job with nothing lined up in December, and then spend the next 9 months fucking around in commission-only "jobs" that don't fucking pay because of course they fucking don't, continuing to try to make the thing work that hasn't been working for him for the last 8 years instead of humbling himself and getting a 9-5 job like every other normal human. you would think he would have realized back when he filed for bankruptcy in 2017 that his money management was off, but why fucking learn when there will always be a woman around to pick up the pieces of his mess? like, he literally quit another "job" at the end of August with absolutely no notice to my mom or anyone else because fuck it, that's why.

and now he fed me some sob story about how he's going to have to sue his former employer (with who's fucking money? does he also expect us to put up a retainer for him?) because they supposedly owe him 14k. I call bullshit. He doesn't stay at a job long enough to earn 1400 let alone 14k.

literally behind every broke or financially struggling woman is a man who is sucking her dry. i feel bad for my mom but also angry that she puts up with this and also allows him to come running to us when really this is an issue that should stay within their marriage.

bottom line i'm not handing over 9k just cuz he asked. i feel terribly that he's just going to pawn the issue off on my sister, but the ONLY thing I'm willing to do at this point is put up a PORTION of it, but only if my mom and sister also put up some cash. i'm so fucking sick of these secretive cash handouts that he is ALWAYS circling between the 3 of us for. if you know what i mean, then you KNOW how it is with people like that. they'll find a few "sources" and just circling between them. sometimes they'll even rob peter to pay paul.

i used to feel sorry for him but now i simply don't. he's in his damn 60s and has had time to realize that his "jobs" aren't working for him (i think he likes the "freedom" of getting to be at home when he isn't on sales calls, but he obviously isn't good enough as a salesman to make any kind of regular income, so he therefore does not deserve to keep chugging away at this failed dream when he has other responsibilities that he must meet, including his fucking mortgage). he has had time to redirect, get a normal fucking 9-5 that pays an hourly wage, so that he can be a reliable financial partner to his wife, but he's just too fucking selfish/lazy/clueless to do that. so i don't feel bad anymore.

god i am just so fucking mad about this. i can't even focus on my book anymore. there's just no consideration for ANYONE else. just give me the fucking money. he also NEVER pays me back ever. I'm so embarrassed sometimes to admit just how much my parents have held me back financially, and how much I allowed it to go on for.

[elisethetraveller]

"Maybe? I must admit I never checked the definition, though the last guy I knew who used the title definitely didn't own the bar he worked at." The mage admitted with a shrug. "He was a jackass, though, so not the most trustworthy of sources." It had been a business arrangement, a little extra coin to go towards her clinic in return for fixing up any brawlers, so the police didn't have to get involved unless absolutely necessary. What would have been nice to know was that he was the one starting the brawls half the time, but hey, as long as she got paid and no one got too hurt.

'Known' would undoubtedly be one word for it with how people jumped and glanced around. Elise was curious about what exactly Sevika was known for besides her work, but that would have to wait. She didn't want to put off her guide by bombarding her with questions she probably wouldn't answer anyway. Besides, she had her name and workplace now, so finding out more on her own couldn't be that difficult.

"And what might these reasons be? I imagine the fumes are equally harmful to everyone." Elise stopped herself from grimacing at her words. Of course, that was why Sevika had been so curious about her wandering around without one. It wasn't simply that she stood out. No, by all accords, she shouldn't be able to walk around this unencumbered without one, should she? A deep breath brought more of the ill air into her lungs, and with a bit of will, her magic was suppressed. Immediately her chest seized, and she had to suppress the urge to take another breath as her lunges complained about the lack of proper oxygen. Magic reassuming, she breathed out slowly before drawing in new air and letting her magic filtrate it. If she had to buy a rebreather to keep up appearances, so be it, she could always give it to someone else. Or take it apart to figure out how it worked.

Sevika's closer look at her was met with her smile widening, a friendly gleam in her eyes. The suspicion was understandable, she supposed. The town was rough, and Elise couldn't shake the feeling that she kept asking obvious or stupid questions. It was not a feeling she was unfamiliar with. It was simply how things were when you got dumped into a world you had no preconceived knowledge of. At least her age was beginning to show its merit through experience. It took less time to learn new languages, to figure out the climate or the local opinion of magic. Or if magic existed in the first place. Eventually, it seemed she passed whatever test Sevika was subjugating her to, and the other began leading the way through the market.

"This place is beautiful." The mage remarked as she followed Sevika. True, it was not pretty the way marbled streets and blue skies were, but the neon lettering, the evidence of survival and hardship which marked every stand, had its own beauty, like a storm-swept coast. The open space became cramped as they travelled into the market. Elise tried not to stare too much at the wares they passed by since she wasn't looking to buy anything, but still, she was curious about what was traded down here. There were the expected things, produce, fish, clothes and stable items. However, for a few stands slinked into the corners, she could not see what they were selling. If they were even selling anything. Eyes returning to the lady leading the way, Elise halted as they arrived at a stall decorated with masks and rebreathers.

The stall owner was curious, clearly a salesman though he seemed harmless enough. A charmed smile crossed her face at the introduction. "A pleasure meeting you, Max. I am Elise, and you surmised correctly: I am new here." She huffed at Sevika's commentary. "Well, a salesman should talk a lot, shouldn't he? And you're obviously a smart one at that." Iron Lioness was quite the title for someone working at a club. Even if Sevika's build alone warranted caution in a fight, it pointed towards something more. Perhaps it had to do with her hidden arm.

"But yes, I am looking for a mask for general use. It would seem it was something I neglected to bring when coming here." The mage shrugged, looking faux-embarrassed. "Though…Are there many people here with lung diseases and chest issues?" It wouldn't be that big of a surprise, but the healer could use more details.

“Fancy word, proprietor. Doesn’t that imply I’d have to own the place?” Voice a touch curious it didn’t betray the fact that Sevika knew exactly what proprietor meant. More than once in the past she’d let others think them smarter than her particularly if they looked like they came from outside Zaun. It was less lying in her opinion, and more giving someone a chance to show their true colors. If someone started to talk down to her because they believed that she didn’t know things they thought “important” like certain “fancy” words, or whatever else well that told her just about all she needed to know. “As for important, well, I am well known around here.”

No reason to tell the stranger of Sevika’s exact role in Zaun. The fact that she was one of the powerful Chem-Baron’s deputies, his trusted right hand and second in command and that most people gave her quite a bit of respect. However trying to deny that she was in some way important, or at least known would be rather foolish. “Most locals don’t need them, but some do. For one reason or another.” Typically it was people with lung or chest issues of one sort or another, or in some cases a person recovering from a particularly bad sickness. They were also used more commonly with the elderly of a certain age. Glancing to Elise her eyes narrowed for a moment hearing the exact response. See the worlds. That was a strange way to express traveling the world to see different lands. Ionia and Noxus and other places were far away yes, but even in Zaun there were stories of them and they were firm places that existed. You could even buy Noxian wine if you found the right person. Supposedly it was real, but who could really tell. However none of them were different “worlds” yet somehow Elise didn’t seem the type to misuse words. All the same as far as Sevika knew it wasn’t possible to travel worlds. It must have just been an odd turn of phrase.

The question as to where to look made Sevika turn a bit and study Elise. In truth she was looking for any sign the woman had lied, and that she was in fact from Piltover after all or in some other way a problem. It was just a split second, and Sevika made a decision motioning for Elise to follow her. Down a few stalls, and then between a few more it was still clearly the market place but it was a section with fewer wealthy looking people and more that were clearly Zaunties. Going up to a stall that had a selection of rebreathers that weren’t fancy looking, but if examined by someone that knew what to look for would clearly work well she nodded to the owner. An older man who was probably in his fifties, but looked like he was in his sixties. He had on a mask, but tugged it down a bit to make his voice clearer.

“Ahhh Sevika! The Iron Lioness graces my stall! I always knew you’d show up at some point. You’ve got to protect your lungs. I know you young people think you can just go without a rebreather but I promise you will regret it. And who is this nice young woman? You don’t look like you are from around here. I apologize for the smell, but I promise for a low and affordable price all that can be just a distant memory! I’m the humble owner of this stall, Maximilian De La Roseta’ahhh something something something. Hahahah, just call me Max and how can I help you?” Sevika just shook her head, and let out a soft chuckle as she glanced to Elise. “He talks a lot. Some would say too much. His masks work though.” Max waved a hand and scoffed. “I talk just enough thank you. If I was twenty years younger I’d…” Looking up at Sevika he puffed up his chest a bit which didn’t do much as he was only about five foot five before he chuckled and shook his head. “I’d be smart enough to walk away. Alright alright. Now.” leaning in a bit he smiled at Elise. “Looking for a mask? Any lung issues? Sickness? Chest problems? Or just general usage?”

[britishassistant]

Crowley kid! Yuu gets kidnapped by one of the villain dorms and Crowley is touring the the lair and just come across his kid, just chilling their designated chair snacking and roasting the villains, maybe joking around with the minions a bit and then they see each other and it’s like that Spider-Man pointing meme

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

This kiiinda got away from me a bit, but I thought it would be good since this blog has now reached over 200 followers! Whoo! Thank you all for your support!!

Crowley was just popping by to see how Leviathan’s operation was running.

He liked to do this kind of thing, show up when the supervillains competing for his attention least expected (or appreciated) it and demand they show him how their operations were running. The reactions and sights he got to see where always so much more honest than what a prearranged visit could offer him.

Take Leviathan-kun, for instance.

The young man is uncommonly nervous in Crowley’s presence, not quite stuttering, but clearly not far off from it either. He keeps adjusting his glasses minutely, making the light flash off them even as he rattles out his salesman’s spiel of guarantees and flattery.

The thieving corvid inside Crowley preens. Today was an excellent day for a surprise inspection.

There’s clearly something going on right now that Leviathan was desperate to hide from him, which just makes Crowley want to dig deep and uncover whatever this dirty little secret is and drag that wriggling, struggling weakness into the light.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

It doesn’t take long for him to ferret it out—as desperate as Leviathan is to redirect his attention the loyal minions moving like schools of fish through the lower levels of the lair, he doesn’t have the authority to do anything but totter after Crowley as he strides towards the control room of this fine establishment, his cane clicking against the ground with every step.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

There’s the raised voices of Leviathan’s lieutenants emanating from within, along with...someone else?

Crowley pauses, taking in the scene inside.

There is a person is tied to a chair in the center of the room with one of the Leeches hanging sideways off of their lap, arms wrapped around their shoulders as he leans backwards and swings his legs back and forth. The chair is beginning to teeter dangerously.

“Floyd, if you make us fall again, I’m suing you for damages.” A familiar voice quips.

Crowley’s insides go cold.

“Aha! So mean~ I’d never let you get hurt, Shrimpy~” The reckless and violent twin coos, nuzzling close.

“You already did.” The most kidnapped reporter in this city deadpans. “Twice.”

“Bold of you to assume that you’d be able to press charges in the first place, Yuu-san.” The sadistic and coldblooded twin grins.

“Azul likes me better than you two, he’ll represent me if I sell him my kidneys.” Yuu says loftily. “Plus I have witnesses, like that guy...there...”

Well, that’s ruined his dramatic entrance, but Crowley slams open the doors anyway, making his cloak billow and letting those leeches see the angry flash of his eyes.

“A-hem!” He booms. “What exactly do you think you’re doing? Is this how you think professional villains behave?!”

The sadistic twin stands to attention, bowing shallowly to him, as though that will keep Crowley from noticing how he’s moved in front of the hostage and his violent brother, who’s curled over Yuu with his feet planted firmly on the ground and is cocky enough to think baring his teeth at Crowley is somehow a good idea.

“Floyd.” Leviathan’s voice is clipped, moving towards his henchman and the captive. “My deepest apologies on behalf of my staff, sir. I’ll instruct them to take the prisoner back down to the holding cells to continue the inter—”

“No, you will not.” Crowley commands, swirling towards the aquatic supervillain. “You will release them from your custody immediately, and as I am so gracious, I will be sure to educate all of you about how violating personal boundaries—”

“Oh, come off it, you old crow.” Yuu drawls, one eyebrow twitching. “Don’t start pretending like you care now.”

The sadistic brother makes a small, choked noise. Leviathan has gone so still it’s doubtful he’s even breathing. Even the violent twin is staring at the reporter like they’ve grown a second head.

He clears his throat to hide the small sting in his chest at the remark. “W-why I don’t know whatever you are talking about, stranger I have never met before. I will arrange for an escort to guide you home, as I am so gracious.”

The reporter scoffs. “Well, isn’t that just the story of my life. I told you last time, I don’t want any of your goons within ten blocks of my apartment, remember?”

“Yuu, while I always appreciate your sparkling wit, please stop talking.” Leviathan mutters, eyes focused on Crowley. “Are you aware of just who this person is?”

“Who he is? Of course I know who he is.” Yuu’s exasperation is evident in their voice. “He’s my bio dad.”

Crowley bristles, feeling his feathers puff up in alarm. “Hatchling!!”

Leviathan chokes, wheezing for air as he gasps out, “Bio—what—?”

The sadistic Leech brother is visibly startled, whipping his head back and forth between Crowley and Yuu, lips moving too fast to read though no sound comes out.

“Eeeh~? The big scary boss man is Shrimpy’s dad? No waay~” The violent Leech brother jabs a thumb in his direction. “Who would fuck him?”

“HOW DARE YOU—!”

“Nobody.” Yuu says. “I was born via in vitro fertilization.”

“Hatchling~!” Crowley whines, disliking how wrong-footed his child leaves him. “That is hardly kind!”

Yuu lets out an undignified snort. “Sure, because that compares to dumping me back on Uncle Divvy after a week out of the test tube with instructions to leave me under a bridge somewhere.”

Both Leech twins pin him with equally unnerving stares, and Crowley has to remind himself that he is three times the villain they’ll ever be, that they couldn’t actually hurt him even if they did both attack at once.

Leviathan is just leaning against his desk, mouthing “Uncle Divvy” to himself with the sort of frquency usually reserved for those afflicted by Divus’ hysteria gas.

“We talked about that!” Crowley pleads desperately. “It was to make sure that you could grow strong through adversity! I could hardly expect you to take up my position if you grew up soft and dependent, now could I?”

“Babies are soft and dependent, that’s the whole point. I’d have been dead within the week if Uncle Divvy hadn’t given me to Mom and Dad.” Yuu sighs, slumping back into the chair. “Whatever. I’m never taking over from you and I don’t want any of your money. Can I go home now?”

“I’ll arrange for a car as I am so gracious—” Crowley states firmly at the same time as Leviathan interjects with “Ah, let me take you—”

He shoots a poisonous glare at the young upstart, and then at the unprofessional lackey who’s still clinging to his child.

“No thanks, to both of you.” Yuu sighs. “I’ll just call Yuuken to pick me up—”

“Eeeh?! But Shrimpy, he’s so lame and boring!” The twin in Yuu’s lap whines. “I can’t even squeeze him properly!”

“Yeah, that’s not really a negative here.” The reporter quips, putting up with the way the merman whines and nuzzles into their shoulder, teeth dangerously close to their jugular.

“I don’t like him.” Crowley sniffs. “He’s too good an influence on you.”

“Well, guess whose business that is?!” His offspring asks cheerily, before dropping back into their irritated moue. “Not yours. I’ll spend time with whoever I please, you can go suck an e—”

“I’ve called you a cab, Yuu-san.” The sadistic Leech brother pipes up, pulling his phone away from his ear. “It’s already paid for, so please don’t worry about it.”

The reporter frowns again, before shaking their head with a tired sigh. “Thank you. I need to go sleep off a migraine, so untie me and I’ll see you three next week or something.”

Leviathan moves forward to tug swiftly at the ropes pinning their arms behind their back and pulling his henchmen off of them, finally. “Let me escort you out at least. It wouldn’t do to have any more unpleasant surprises before you got home.”

“Fine.” Yuu pins Crowley with that look that always makes him want to squirm. “Have a lovely day, Dire Crowley-san.”

“Likewise.” He watches his heir walk out as the violent Leech twin calls out “Bye bye, Shrimpy~!”

He turns to those two upstarts, drawing himself up to his full height. “I am certain I don’t need to impress upon you the fact that none of what went on in here leaves this room, yes?”

The sadistic one meets his eye for a moment, spreading his hands wide with an unpleasant smile. “I am unsure of what you mean, Crowley-sama.”

“Yeah, dunno~” The violent one chirps from where he’s now perched in the recently vacated chair.

“Well, suffice it to say that Divus came up with a very interesting potion to affect merfolk, some years ago.” Crowley allows himself a cruel smirk. “One that gives them legs permanently. Shame it doesn’t do the same for lungs. I will not tell him how...carelessly you boys have been treating one of his most prized experiments, as I am gracious, am I not?”

He watches the pair of them swallow reflexively with a thrill of dark satisfaction. “Yes, Crowley-sama.” They chorus.

“Wonderful!” Crowley chirps, clasping his hands together. “Now, I think it’s time for a special lesson on respecting the personal boundaries of one’s hostages, don’t you?”

[aliyah-the-creator]

This is my very first post, so I hope I do good! Please give me some feedback, I would love to hear it.

The Umbrella Academy Life Swap:

The Hargreaves switch lives instead of powers.

• Ben ran away at the age of 13 and got lost in the dimension inside his stomach, the Handler eventually finds him and recruits him to the Commission. He works as a super powered agent that saves his victims from his sadistic partners, Hazel and Cha-Cha. Ben doesn’t come back in a 13 year old body like Five, he’s the same age as his siblings, and Ben does know about the apocalypse and has the eye. And unlike Five, Ben actually tells his siblings about the apocalypse and how he was a super powered assassin that acted as the kidnapper and lookout. When the Hargreaves were 13, Ben had tried to talk to Five out of time traveling because logically, he may not know where he would end up, but Five wouldn’t listen to him and started arguing with him. The fighting got so loud that Vanya and Klaus eventually got pulled into the argument as well and it turned into a fistfight with all 4 of them. All of them ended up with scratches and bruises on their faces, a few chunks of their hair missing, and cleaning the mansion floors and ceilings from top to bottom and every single room without using their powers as a punishment for fighting by Reginald. At 2 am, Ben woke up after a nightmare and felt bad about getting Vanya and Klaus into trouble when they didn’t even started the fight in the first place and tried to go to their rooms to apologize, but he never did because the Horror became restless and angry that it didn’t get anything to eat and wanted to make Ben feel how trapped they felt when Reginald always had them kill people, so Ben’s tentacles grabbed him and opened the portal to their world, which was the apocalypse, and trapped him there for 10 years until the Handler came and recruited him and was never seen after that day again. Because of Ben’s disappearance, Vanya and Klaus blamed Five and his ambition for time travel since it was him who argued with Ben in the first place and Five had never forgotten it. Ben hopes that Klaus and Vanya would forgive Five in time. Ben read Klaus’s book about what happened to his family when he disappeared, he read about Luther running away to Dallas to forget about the Umbrella Academy, about Diego staying at the Academy to keep fighting crime, about Allison’s death and how she’s now mute, how Klaus is trying to get sober and stabling himself, how Five became a professor at a prestigious university and a vigilante, and how Vanya took a dark path into alcoholism.

• Five became a lowly-paid physics professor at community college after he was fired for punching a colleague at prestigious university and he’s also a vigilante, but his fiancé Delores doesn’t like it though. Five met Delores at a professor’s conference in Canada where she was presenting her findings on the science of gems and geodes since she’s a mineralogy professor (someone who teaches the study of rocks and crystals) and where he was discussing the possibility of time travel. Those two immediately hit it off and are now engaged, Five proposed to her by using different types of gems to spell it out. Five uses his powers of teleportation to be a mysterious assassin and hero.

• Klaus is a dancer at a local theater and he has somewhat control over his powers, but if the ghosts get too loud, he smokes cigarettes instead of weed so he wouldn’t be high at a recital. He became friends with Leonard Peabody aka Harold Jenkins when Klaus was 23 after his family abandoned him for writing an auto-biography about him having a power that traumatizes him and what the Umbrella Academy was really like behind the scenes, it’s called “The Ghosts Inside the Umbrella Academy: the life of Klaus Hargreaves”. Harold makes him more isolated by threatening to kill himself and haunting Klaus for the rest of his life if Klaus tries to leave him. Since Klaus never had someone ,besides Ben, care for him and give him a home and food since he was living at a homeless shelter when he met Leonard, Klaus thinks that this type of friendship is normal and doesn’t think twice about it. In his book, Klaus portrays his remaining siblings as people who knew about his drug abuse, but didn’t do anything about it; he portrayed Luther as a hotheaded daddy’s boy who was treated like the Golden child, Diego as a momma’s boy with daddy issues always trying to compete with Luther for everything, Allison as his favorite sister who was taken too soon, who’s death was the final straw that tore apart their family, and who acts as a silent ghost mother since she’s mute (no one believes him that he can see her though), he portrays Five as the cause of Ben’s disappearance and as a heartless gremlin who doesn’t care about his siblings enough to see that his siblings are hurting and have real problems of their own, he portrays Ben as his kind-hearted and favorite brother who was the glue that hold their family together and who’s disappearance drove a wedge between the family, and he portrays Vanya as his ordinary violin playing sister that desperately wanted to belong with their family in any way she could, but turned to alcohol when she learned that her dream of being in the Umbrella Academy was crushed by Reginald and who had the easy life of not being exploited by their father for her powers like he was. Vanya actually confronted him about her portrayal in the book and they said some things that they shouldn’t have, but they eventually forgave each other and Vanya moved in with him and Leonard a month later. Klaus didn’t mind that Vanya and Leonard were dating, but saw a striking difference between Vanya and Leonard’s relationship and Vanya and Sissy’s relationship when Vanya came back from the 60s. With Leonard, Vanya was walking on eggshells and isolated from her brothers and couldn’t be herself around him, but with Sissy, Klaus saw that Vanya was happier and could be herself around Sissy and loves Harlan like her own son. Klaus was the one to kill Leonard with his powers by having Allison choke him to death when he badly hurt Harlan with a gun and tried to drown Sissy.

• Allison dies at the age of 17 when her throat was slit by a serial killer on a mission and now acts like Klaus’s mother by always keeping him sober enough to conjure her and giving him healthy advice, but ultimately going along with almost every crazy idea Klaus has. Since she has a slit throat she can’t talk, but she does sign language instead and like Ben, she ages like Klaus, but still wears the same outfit she was buried in: a yellow and green striped dress with a blue flora printed jacket with red heels and a pair of black leggings. She HATES Leonard Peabody because he’s manipulating Klaus into isolation from their family and she tries to get Klaus out of their toxic friendship, but Klaus always denies Leonard’s abuse. She misses her siblings so much that she’s deeply hurt that she had ignored their problems for so long.

• Diego stayed at the Umbrella Academy because he didn’t know how to be anything else but a hero, he also didn’t want to Mom behind, so he began reading and writing code to free Grace from her restrictive rules that Reginald put on her, but after his accident that had him have scars all over his body and face to the point where he lost his left eye and his face is almost beyond recognition, Diego left the Academy when he realized that there was no point in staying and became a recluse in his good friend, Eudora’s house. Unlike Luther, Diego doesn’t have the monkey body because I just couldn’t see that type of body build on David Castaneda. Diego met Eudora at a local boxing gym, Eudora was impressed Diego’s fight skilled and was shocked to know that he was Diego “The Kraken” Hargreaves because Reginald told the whole world including their city and Luther, Klaus, Five, and Vanya that Diego died in an explosion a year ago when he had his accident. Diego ,of course, was pissed that his own father told everyone and his siblings that he was dead instead of saying that he survived the mission and was just scarred for the rest of his life, but he wasn’t surprised that Reginald did that to keep up his reputation. Him and Eudora immediately became fast friends and roommates at her house since Diego had nowhere to go when he left the Academy 6 months ago and was living at an run-down and moldy apartment. They actually tried dating at one point, but because of their conflicted personalities, they decided to just stay friends and roommates.

• 3 months after Allison’s funeral, Luther ran away to escape his father’s tight gripped and cold stare and the house that reminded him of his lovely yet dead Allison when he was 18 years old. He ended up in Dallas, Texas where he became a famous boxer named King Kong since he’s so huge and muscular, met and married a successful TV salesman named Elliott Gussman, and they adopted an African American baby girl who they named Claire Allison Gussman. Luther decided to take Elliott’s last name ,even though it was Luther who proposed to him, to cut his ties off from the Umbrella Academy and the man who turned 6 children into soldiers and who blamed the death of an innocent 17 year old girl that happened to be his adopted daughter on his 4 sons and 1 daughter instead of the person who killed her in the first place. Luther and Elliott had a happy marriage for 3 years until Klaus’s book came out that exposed the secrets of Luther’s past and made him into a hotheaded bully with daddy issues who followed Reginald around like a eager puppy trying to get a reward and a coward ran away from his problems instead of facing them. Elliott was furious at Luther because when Luther came to Dallas he lied about being from a mob family that did all types of shady businesses and that he ran away because his “family” couldn’t understand and accept him being bisexual instead of telling him truth about his abusive father who raised them to be child soldiers, how his brother Diego would always tried to be better than him to their father’s approval, how his brother Five was too smart for his own good, how he loved his sister Allison more than he should, how he tried to forget about Ben’s disappearance, how he ignored Klaus’s drug abuse, and how he denied Vanya’s problem with alcohol for so long. When Elliott read Klaus’s book about what Luther did and who he was, Elliott immediately started arguing with him about his true identity. Luther tried to deny it, but couldn’t because he loves Elliott too much to even hurt him in a way. Elliott actually threatened to separate from Luther when their arguments gotten too much, but he didn’t and instead drove Luther and him to see a marriage counselor so that they could actually talk to each other instead of just arguing. Luther and Elliott eventually made up, but because of the book, Luther is the one that’s more pissed about it and at Klaus for almost making Elliott lose his marriage to him. Btw, Claire is 6 years old in 2019 and was adopted as a baby in 2013 by the Gussman family when Luther was 24 and Elliott was 30, a year after Klaus’s book was published.

• Vanya was introduced to alcohol at 13 years old when Five and Klaus were drinking 2 cases of beer that Five stole, Klaus persuaded her to take a sip of his beer and she hasn’t stop drinking since. Besides the violin and her pills, alcohol was the thing that defined Vanya and her personality. Vanya thought that no one would care about what happened to her since she was so ordinary and isolated that she dumped all of her pills in the garbage disposal and drinks her problems away. With her new coping mechanism, Vanya’s personality changed from quiet and meek to sarcastic and drunk. Five and Vanya left the Academy for college together, but ended up separated by the time they were 20 because Vanya kept drinking her tutition away. By the age of 22, Vanya ended up being homeless because she got kicked out of her apartment for not paying her rent with the money she used to buy alcohol. She still plays her violin, but only for cash instead of at The Icarus Theatre. She also read Klaus’s book and was upset about her portrayal as his alcoholic sister who had an easy life of being ordinary and never going on missions because she doesn’t have a power that can’t be turned off willingly or that can kill somebody; she cried and drank her misery away for 3 weeks until she confronted Klaus about the book, they both admittedly said things that they regretted, but ended up apologizing to each other in the end. She also meets and dates Leonard like in the show and instead of Allison finding the truth about Leonard, it’s Five and Delores who both tried to convince Klaus and Vanya that Leonard is a snake, but they both denied it. Vanya ends up living with Klaus and Leonard when her and Klaus made up when she’s 23. In my first draft I made it Five and Delores that Vanya ended up rooming with, but I wanted to make Vanya and Klaus isolated further by Leonard manipulating both of them. When the house is attacked by Hazel and Cha-Cha, Vanya is the one that’s kidnapped and tortured by them for 2 days and is rescued by Eudora who arrives with back up this time, but is injured in the spine by Cha-Cha. Vanya takes the briefcase and time travels to October 12, 1963 where she ends up falling in love with a woman named Sissy Cooper, a widowed housewife who accidentally ran Vanya over with her car, and becoming a nanny/second mother to Sissy’s 5 year old autistic son named Harlan. Vanya stayed with them until 1966 when a neighbor reported their “unholy” relationship to the police, so to keep them safe Vanya used the briefcase to go back to 2019 with Sissy and Harlan.

—When Vanya gets back to 2019 with Sissy and Harlan, no one believes her story except for Klaus, who promises to her relationship with Sissy a secret from Leonard, and Ben, who was the only one that was worried about her whereabouts in the first place besides Klaus. Vanya tries to become sober for the sake of Harlan not being afraid of her when she gets drunk and for Sissy and her’s relationship since her late husband was an abusive alcoholic, instead of conjuring the one she loves’s ghost like Klaus did in the show. When Vanya was dating Leonard, he would constantly have her and Klaus practice their music and dance at 12am-6am to train them more and if one of them mess up, he’ll have them locked up in a dark and tiny closet with only one dimly lit lightbulb and they would have to balance on a stool on one leg for the duration of their training. Leonard would also take his anger out on Klaus and Vanya if he had a bad day at his shop, which would leave Klaus with bruises on his arms and a black eye and Vanya with scratches on her back and bruises on her neck. (Trigger Warning for those who can’t handle stories with domestic violence) When the 3 of them were 27, Leonard gotten pissed at how independent and successful Klaus and Vanya were getting in their lives by Klaus getting paid more from his dance recitals and Vanya going to AA meetings more to the point of being sober for 3 weeks that he took his frustrations about losing his control out on them by punching and slapping Klaus and choking and scratching Vanya, but thankfully a neighbor called the police after hearing their screams and Klaus and Vanya were taken to the hospital and Leonard was arrested, but unfortunately Klaus and Vanya bailed Leonard out due to dropping charges against him as an apologize.

Here are the things that I changed

• Klaus and Vanya both cause the apocalypse by combining their powers at Klaus’s dance recital with Vanya’s violin because Leonard isolated them from everyone, manipulated them to the point of denying the abuse he put them through, and because of him trying to kill Sissy and Harlan for taking Vanya away from him.

• Five and Delores tries to explain to Vanya and Klaus that Leonard only liked them to get revenge on the Umbrella Academy and it was him that kidnapped Sissy and Harlan to get them to come back to him, but Five gets stabbed in the stomach by Klaus’s new found telekinesis and Vanya makes Five and Delores’s apartment collapsed after knocking Delores out. When the apartment collapses, Allison , who’s coperal at the moment, immediately grabs both a bleeding Five and an unconscious Delores and saves them from death and takes them to the Academy to be treated by Grace. Delores unfortunately loses her right arm to a huge piece of shrapnel lodged into it that’s cutting the circulation.

• When Ben goes to the apocalypse for the first time, he finds Luther with the eye clutched in his hand, Diego wrapped in black bandages holding a woman with a long black ponytail (Eudora), Five in an Armani suit with his eyes opened, and a red headed woman in a polka dotted blouse and a black skirt holding one of Five’s hand (Delores). All of them are dead and Ben finds out that they’re his brothers by the faded black umbrella tattoo on Luther’s wrist when Ben was inspecting the bodies. The bodies that Ben couldn’t find were Allison, Vanya, and Klaus’s, but after learning about Allison’s death from Klaus’s book, Ben kept looking for Vanya and Klaus.

• Vanya gets her burst of powers when Harlan almost drown in the summer of ‘64 in the lake 10 miles away from the farm. Harlan was playing with a beach ball when it got away from him and he tried to get it while Vanya and Sissy were cuddling in the sand and a wave pulled him under the water. Sissy started crying and panicking when Vanya couldn’t get Harlan to the surface, but after a minute of silence she was shocked and relieved to see Vanya holding Harlan in her arms while she’s floating in the lake with glowing white eyes. As soon as they get to shore, Vanya gives Harlan cpr which transfers her newly found powers to him like in the canon.

• Diego doesn’t show himself to his siblings until episode 3 when Hazel and Cha-Cha attack the house because everyone thinks he’s dead and he’s a recluse. He finds out about the attack from Grace (mom) when she calls him from her bedroom phone since they talk every day so that he can know what’s going on and because of these calls, Diego knows about Ben being back, how the funeral went, and how much each of his siblings changed over the years.

• In episode 1, since the siblings’ lives are switched around, the way they found out that Reginald died is slightly different from canon. Luther finds out from the press badgering him after he won a fight, Diego finds out from Eudora when she comes home after work and turns on the Tv in a flash, Klaus finds out during rehearsal on the radio that him and his group are listening to to practice the recital while Allison is dancing in the shadows behind him when the news suddenly comes on, Five finds out from his phone on social media when one of his students sent him the news link after Five teleports to his apartment after saving a 12 year old boy from being abducted by a creep and almost killing said creep by beating him senseless, and Vanya finds out from a bar Tv when she and Leonard are on a date. She immediately calls Klaus who was immediately going to call her to tell her the same thing when he was done rehearsals.

• Just to clarify, since Vanya spent 3 years with Sissy and Harlan in Dallas from 1963-1966, she is 33 years old and Harlan is 8 years old because he was 5 when he and his mom met Vanya. Even though Vanya spent 3 years in the ‘60s, she was only gone for 2 days with Klaus, Five, Delores, Ben, and Leonard searching for her.

• When the Hargreeves all come back for the funeral, the introduction of them to each other are very different. Diego doesn’t show up to the funeral to keep up the reputation of him being dead. Vanya and Klaus show up together, but immediately split up when Vanya goes straight to the bar making drinks for her and her brothers (mostly for her though) and Klaus goes to his old room to reminisce about his past. Five checks their father’s room and office for evidence of something other than a heart attack, he is the one that thinks that Reginald was murdered by someone, and he also greets Vanya and Klaus with Delores who went with him to meet his family. Luther is trying to get through the funeral as possible by almost avoiding his siblings, but that backfires when Five calls a family meeting to talk about their father’s death and Luther sees a tipsy Vanya holding a mix of vodka and rum, Klaus talking to Delores who is laughing at a funny story Klaus is telling, and Five lecturing the remaining siblings on how their father might’ve been murdered.

• Eudora is more present in the show since she survives the gunshot wound in her spine by Cha-Cha, but she ends up being paralyzed from the waist down in a wheelchair. She helps Five with discovering how Reginald actually died and Diego with stepping out into the world and seeing his family for the first time in years. Like in canon, she is the first one to find Vanya at the motel after finding the message that Hazel and Cha-Cha left on the van when they burned down the prosthetic factory after they got drunk off of Vanya’s “special lemonade” which is just lemonade mixed with wine and vodka. Unlike in the show, Delores and Ben go with Eudora as back up in case something goes wrong and it does end up going wrong with Cha-Cha and Eudora having a shoot out with each other in the parking lot that ultimately ends up Eudora becoming paralyzed by Cha-Cha’s bullet ricocheting off a lamppost and lodging into Eudora’s spine with her laser gunand Ben wrestling with his former partner Hazel in the motel room while Vanya is escaping through the vent with the briefcase in her arms and Delores in tow.

Ben breaks Hazel’s wrist and almost beats him to a bloody pulp for kidnapping Vanya, but he stops when he hears Eudora’s screams from outside and sees her on the ground behind her car and he immediately drives her to the hospital while Hazel and Cha-Cha get away before the police show up. Delores and Vanya get on a nearby bus to escape the chaos and they talk about what’s going on in their lives and Delores talks about how Leonard treats Klaus when they’re alone, but Vanya denies any abuse and opens the briefcase. The last thing Vanya hears is Delores screaming.

• The episode “The Day that Wasn’t” doesn’t exist in my AU and is instead replaced with an episode called “Welcome to the 60’s” where Five interrogates Sissy and Harlan about the past while working on the beat up briefcase to learn more about how to time travel. Eudora and Diego talk about how their long time friendship has become into a sibling relationship and about how Diego can reconnect with his siblings again. Luther and Delores discuss how they both want a normal and ordinary life with their husband and fiancé respectively, but fail to see that things can never go back to way they were. Ben goes off on his own to find the truth about Leonard Peabody, but finds himself at Griddy’s where he sees Hazel kissing Agnes and talks to them about his problems. Agnes gives Ben advice about how he can reconcile with his family by actually giving them time to process him being a time traveling assassin and him telling Five to not feel guilty about causing a rift between him and Vanya and Klaus because it wasn’t Five’s fault that Ben “ran away”.

I’ll continue the rest of the story when I have the time. Right now I just want to post this.

[redrobin-detective]

Delayed Mourning

Going Angst Day 5: Death

_________________________________________

It was 3pm when there was a knock on Maddie Fenton’s door. She huffed and set down the meal she’d been working on. Of course the one day she had time to pre-plan a nice meal from her family was the day she’d get interrupted. 

“Yes? May I help you?” Maddie asked, opening the door. She had expected a salesman. Possibly even a neighbor coming to complain, again, about the noise or the smells that came from Fentonworks. Instead she found a small woman who couldn’t have been much taller than 5 ft with dark brown hair tied up in a tight bun. She was wearing a sharp white shirt and suit jacket with a matching white skirt.

“Mrs. Fenton, hello,” the woman gave a polite little head nod. “I’m from the the Government Institute of Interdimensional Warfare though I hear the locals like to call us the Guys in White.” She said with a knowing smiling, “of course, as you know, it’s not only the guys who are interested in ghosts. May I come in?”

“Oh yes, hello,” Maddie blinked, opening the door to let the agent in. The petite woman stepped inside, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. Her small frame, her oversized glasses and soft nature seemed so at odds with the meatheads Maddie usually found in the GIW. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Perhaps,” the agent demurred. “It’s more there was something I wanted to inform you of. If you’re not too busy, may we sit down and talk? Your husband and children are not home.” Maddie thought that last statement was a bit odd, framed as a statement of fact rather than an inquiry but moved on. 

“Yes, Jack’s out of town visiting a relative and my kids won’t be back for a little while,” Maddie said. “Let me just finish putting this roast together, I’m almost done. Can I get you anything? Water? Tea?”

“No, thank you,” The woman said quietly. “And please, continue while you’re doing. Let me give you a little bit of background.” The agent adjusted her large glasses with her tiny hands. “Let me introduce myself, you may call me Agent S. I work primarily out of Washington for the Institute but sometimes I am deployed on site for... special cases. And, as I’m sure you’re aware, your town is very special.”

“Now, as you may have noticed, I am not particularly built like the normal Institute agents you have probably come across. That is because I do not work in the field but behind the scene in Investigations. My job is study the history and happenings of hauntings and spectral entities.”

“Oh that sounds fascinating,” Maddie beamed as she finished with her final preps and put the roast in the over. She looked over her shoulder at Agent S while she washed her hands. “Jack and I dabble a bit in history and folklore but we’re more versed in the hard sciences of ghosts.”

“Yes, I’ve read some of your papers, you and your husband truly are the frontrunners in the field,” Agent S nodded. Maddie preened at the praise and sat down, delighted to have a sophisticated conversation with someone in her field who she wasn’t married to. If more of those GIW agents were like Agent S then Maddie would get along a lot better with them. “So, Maddie, may I call you Maddie? What date and time did your portal start working?”

“It was August 28th,” Maddie said proudly. “It didn’t work at first when we first plugged it in. I’m afraid I don’t have an exact time it started up as we weren’t here. Jack was convinced one of the electrical conduction pieces wasn’t fully connected and was preventing ectoplasmic distribution. We ended up driving 4 hours to Springfield and back for some specialty parts only to find the portal working when we returned.”

“I can help you there,” Agent S said with a soft smile reaching into her white briefcase and pulling out several thick folders. She laid them out gently on the table and Maddie was unnerved by some of the information: schematics of Fentonworks, past and present financial records, transcripts of public statements. Her shoulders tensed when she saw Jazz and Danny’s names on some of the files. “Toll camera captured your vehicle on the Jane Addams Memorial Tollway at exactly 1:26pm on August 28th. We can confirm you and your husband’s vehicle traveled to Springfield and back via video feeds and credit card statements at 10:45pm that same day and were therefore out of the city all day.”

Maddie suddenly felt very trapped by the woman’s sharp grey eyes as she plucked a piece of paper and pressed it towards Maddie. 

“At 3:18pm, the majority of the residential power in town went out for a period of 2 and a half hours. The cause was determined to be from a massive power surge that blew out the transformer. You may recall being blamed for this outage given your history with previous outages but the news that you were out of town settled that argument. However, I was not convinced.” She pulled out another piece of paper and Maddie bristled to see it was a Casper High attendance sheet.

“Your daughter, Jasmine was at her final summer cram session which ran from 2pm until 5pm. I spoke to her tutors and she never left the whole time and, in fact, stayed late to help a fellow student work through her study materials. But what about your son?” Agent S asked with with a curious smile but her eyes belied the fact that she had her own answers. 

“How dare you spy on my family, on my children,” Maddie hissed, crumpling one of the papers in her fist. “Get out of my house, I will sue the pants off of your organization for this invasion of privacy! Get out!”

“Now Maddie, don’t you want to know how your son started up your Portal?” Agent S asked coyly, that drew Maddie up short. Danny? No, he couldn’t have possibly. He had no interest in their work, in fact, now that she thought about it, Danny had been sick that day. Agent S pulled out a set of blueprints for the Fenton Portal. Some small component inside the Portal was circled.

“You left at approximately 1pm and your daughter presumably left not long after. Phone records indicate Daniel called both Tucker Foley and Samantha Manson. Your neighbor, Mrs. Benson, saw them coming into your house not long after but before the 3pm power outage which I was able to triangulate did in fact originate from your home.” Agent S tapped the circled part of the inner portal mechanisms. “Now did you happen to push the on button in the Portal before plugging it in?”

“On button?” Maddie asked with a dry mouth, overwhelmed by the amount of information being thrown her way. All she could think about was how Danny hadn’t seemed sick when they’d left that afternoon but had looked awful when they returned. Would he have really gone downstairs and messed with the Portal? Had he gotten hurt? Been contaminated down there? Images of Vlad’s sickly visage after his accident flowed through her head. She should have paid more attention but she’d been so excited about the Portal working...

“It’s right here in the blueprints you submitted to the patent office, buried under dozens of other hardware bits. Its small, such a little thing compared to all the moving parts required to open up a dimensional portal. Daniel was a bright boy, his middle school records prove it. A bright mind, friends to impress, no parents around to chastise him... I think you can see where I’m going with this.”

“No, no,” Maddie said, burying her hands in her hair. “No, I’m not. You’re saying -what? - that my teenage son turned on the Portal when we were gone? No, my Danny wouldn’t lie to me about that... Why wouldn’t he say anything?”

“I don’t blame him for not mentioned in because, if my hunch is correct, he was inside the Portal when it turned on, killing him instantly,” Agent S said with a carefully neutral face. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I’m afraid this haunting has gone on long enough.”

“My child is alive!” Maddie screeched, standing up in her chair. “Danny is alive and healthy and he is not a ghost!”

“I will admit the evidence of how he died is circumstantial but the fact that Danny Fenton is deceased is not.” Maddie fell back into her chair as he legs gave out underneath her. 

She watched the agent put paper after paper in front of her and detailed all sorts of data about her son that Maddie, who lived in the same house as him, had missed. Unusually high ectosignatures picked up by GIW (and their own) detectors, Danny being spotted in some form before most ghost attacks, faked signatures of hers getting him out of nurses’ visits. Maddie barely felt alive herself as she stared at a red light camera photo of her baby sitting atop a light post late, late at night. His eyes were a toxic green color.

“I know this must be distressing as a mother but your child never left that basement, never attended high school and will never achieve his dream of working for NASA.” Agent S said with carefully measured sympathy as she gathered up her papers and put them back in her case. “But you are a brilliant scientist, unlike your husband, you should be able to look past your emotions and see that your child is gone and the ghost he left behind is dangerous.”

“My husband?” Maddie asked blankly, running a finger down Danny’s unnatural photograph.

“I approached Jack two days ago, mistakenly believing he would be the most understanding of you both. He refused to believe the evidence and was, in fact, going to warn your son’s ghost that we planned on taking him. He is safe but he presently being held at one of our facilities until the capture is complete.” Maddie should feel outraged at her husband’s kidnapping but all she could think about was the fact that her son was dead, dead, dead, killed by her own invention over a year ago and she never noticed. How could she not have noticed?

“Daniel’s ghost is extraordinary, not only able to pass as human so accurately for so long but immensely powerful. We need to make sure he doesn’t harm anyone else. Think of his friends who are probably being forced to aid him and keep his death quiet. Think of your husband, your daughter, living in the same house as a dangerous ghost.” Agent S dropped some of her professionalism and plucked the photo of Danny out of Maddie’s hands and replaced it with her own tiny hand. 

“I know this is impossible thing to ask but I must do it anyway, will you help me capture what remains of Danny? There is a chance with his charade exposed, he will be able to move on and so will you. You have been wronged, Maddie. You have been denied the right to process and grieve your child by his own ghost. But a delayed mourning is better than none. Danny’s death is a tragedy but please don’t let it become someone else’s.”

“Maybe he’s not-” Maddie’s breath hitched, “he’s never shown any signs of aggression. Jasmine spoke of benevolent spirits... maybe-” Agent S sighed roughly and retracted her hand to grab another photo from her case. Maddie was surprised when she held up a picture of Phantom. 

“Ignore the glow,” Agent S instructed. “Change his white hair to black, his green eyes to blue. Think of how often Phantom is spotted in your neighborhood, around Casper High. Remember how he always has his hands on your technology,” the agent frowned. “Think of how he grins when he sees you, like he knows something you don’t. Like it all just a big joke you’re not a part of.” Maddie felt like she’d been slapped.

“Your son is dead,” Agent S said more forcefully, throwing the picture of Phantom next to the spooky one of Danny. “And his ghost has taken his place, taunting you, stealing energy from your family, from the portal that killed him. Phantom’s power is increasing too rapidly and soon we won’t be able to contain him. It’s why I was brought in to identify his haunt so that he could be stopped before anyone else died.”

“I will state this plainly, I am giving you the chance to participate in putting your child to rest but you are not required for this operation. If you refuse, you will be confined with your husband until Phantom is taken down. Do not let this monster with your son’s face trick you any more. So I ask again, Maddie Fenton, will you help us stop Phantom from making a mockery of your son’s memory?”

XxX

“Mom! Jazz! I’m home!” Danny announced, kicking off his shoes and grabbing a paper out of his backpack as he walked into the kitchen with a grin. “And I have a present! Jazz’s tutoring paid off, look at this A I got on my history test! Well A- but a solid A-!” 

“Oh... that’s great,” Mom muttered quietly. She was sitting at the kitchen table, not cooking or tinkering with some gadget. Just sitting there quietly, twiddling her thumbs and not looking at him.

“Is everyone okay?” Danny asked, dropping his bag on the floor and walking over to his mother. “I saw Jazz at school but is Dad okay?”

“No, everything is not okay,” she said turning and looking at him with tear-filled eyes. “Someone died, someone I love dearly and I’m not ready to let them go,” she sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “But they've been gone for a long time, even if I’m just hearing about it now. I’m upset but it’s better to know and be grieve than to go on in ignorance, living a lie.”

Danny was about to ask who had died when something was jammed into his neck and he was shocked within an inch of his half life. His body spasmed to escape but his mother was gripping his arm to hold him in place. He transformed unconsciously but that only made it worse. He fell to the floor, ectoplasm leaking off his form as he could barely hold himself together.

“Mom,” he croaked, reaching for her despite everything. She stomped on his hand which was practically goo from such a vicious, destabilizing ectoplasmic shock.

“Don’t you ever call me that,” she hissed through angry tears. “I didn’t want to believe it but the proof is right in front of me you horrible, selfish ghost.” She kicked him in the side and half of him ended up on her boot. “How dare you, how dare you impersonate my son! How dare you string me along all this time, make me look like a fool who had to told that her own child was dead! I bet you just laughed and laughed at our stupid, human ignorance of what your were!”

“‘lease,” he begged through the ectoplasm in his mouth. “I’m still your....”

“My son is dead and he has been for a while,” Mom said, throwing the ecto-taser away from her. Danny vaguely heard the door being kicked in and in his rapidly diminishing vision, he saw black boots and white suits. “With you gone, I can finally come to terms with it and not be tormented by an inadequate replacement.” She turned her back to him. “Get that filth out of my house, I never want to see it again.”

“Of course,” a quiet feminine voice said as his goopy arms were restrained with ghost proof cuffs. “I know this is hard, Maddie but you made the right choice for your family and Danny’s memory. Jack will returned to you within the hour. I spoke to my superiors, for your cooperation, the Institute will take care of declaring Danny dead as well as covering costs for your boy to be laid to rest, the first step in moving on.”

“No, the first step will be removing that duplicitous monster from my home. It’s stolen enough of my baby’s life. Now please leave, I have - I have a funeral to plan.”

[argyle-s]

Hello,

My name is Molly Bragg. I’m a bi trans gender author who has writing for almost three decades. I’m passionate about creating the kind of content I enjoy, which means stories that center around queer women, I’ve recently completed a original queer genre romance novel and I’m looking for help covering the cost of having it professionally edited.

To give you a preview of what you would be supporting, here’s Chapter 1:

***

Beth watched the buildings pass as the air cab carried her over Los Angeles taking in the changes the last ten years had wrought on the city.  Most of the low-income areas had been bulldozed, and those areas were now filled with alien arcologies.  Massive buildings that stretched kilometers into the sky, each one a city unto itself, and in their shadows, the skyscrapers that had once been incredible achievements of human architecture and engineering.  The buildings which had been hubs of human industry and centers of financial empires were now reduced to little more than playhouses for the backwards primitives who had the misfortune to be born natives of the Galactic Hegemony’s latest colony world. If they’d had another century or two things might have been different.  Humanity had been advancing quickly.  They wouldn’t have been on par with the technology of the Hegemony by any stretch, but they might have been able to dictate better terms.  The Gatekeepers hadn’t cared.  The gate had drifted into a stable orbit in the outer system, and the Gatekeepers had announced that, like it or not, the Sol system was being added to their vast network of space fold gates.  The first ships from the Hegemony had arrived just a month later, and ever since, Earth had been on the road to becoming the galactic equivalent of a banana republic. So far, her job and her savings had let her avoid the worst of what was happening, but unemployment was at a record high as alien automation systems replaced human labor in almost every sector.  The company she worked for had shifted gears from research and development to reverse engineering alien tech and had seen a short windfall in profits, but that was starting to vanish as the inevitable inflation drove prices up and the people they had been selling reverse engineered tech could no longer afford it. Beth wasn’t really that worried for herself.  She’d been poor before, and however much she might hate the idea she could survive being poor again.  What brought her to LA today was Sam.  Sam was getting close to graduation, and she had acceptance letters from every college that could afford postage.  A 4.0 unweighted GPA, high SAT scores, and a couple of impressive summer internships meant that schools were falling all over themselves to offer her full rides.  Ten years ago, that would have all but ensured her a bright future.  These days a PhD from Harvard, Yale, or MIT wasn’t worth the cost of paper to print the degree. People still made noise about human exceptionalism and about taking humanity’s place in the larger galactic community, but Beth had spent a lot of time over the last decade studying the history of colonization on Earth, and it never once ended well for the people being colonized.Regardless of what  happened to the colonized peoples as a whole, there were always individual exceptions...  people who avoided the fate of their brethren.  It was her determination to ensure her daughter’s future that brought her to LA today.   While billionaires had started buying their kids spots in alien schools the moment they were  allowed out of the Sol System, Beth didn’t have that option.  She was well off enough that she and Sam weren’t feeling the effects of the colonization yet, but nowhere near rich enough to buy a ticket off-world for Sam, much less pay for an off-world education.  Instead, she’d spent years looking into other options.  So far, none of her work had paid off, but she hadn’t given up hope.   She was headed to a meeting with a broker who helped place kids into programs that offered grants, scholarships and all expenses paid exchange programs.  She was going to find a way to offer her daughter a better future than most of Earth’s children could look forward to.  No matter what it took. *** “Ms. Murray, it’s so nice to meet you,” the man said as he held out his hand.  Beth took it and gave it a quick shake while trying her best not to let on that he reminded her of a used car salesman.  She needed his help, and it wouldn’t do to offend him. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Cooper.” “Please, call me Owen,” he said.  “Right this way.” He led her out of the small, brightly decorated waiting room and into a small, neat office.  He gestured to a chair in front of his desk as he walked around behind it and took his seat. “So, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here Ms. Murray.  You are looking for an opportunity for your daughter to continue her education off-world, is that correct?” “Yes,” Beth said. “Okay.  I just wanted to make sure that we’re both looking for the same outcome.  Now, I’ve gone through Samantha’s records.  Academically, she’s in great shape, and the extra-curriculars are good too.  I’ve been able to find at least twenty different programs that will accept her.” “That’s great,” Beth said, though she didn’t believe it.  She’d heard the exact same thing from more than a dozen other brokers, and she suspected she wasn’t going to hear anything new.  “What are the terms?” “It varies from program to program.  All of them require a period of indenture, but some are as low as eight years.” Beth tried to hide her disappointment.  She wanted to give her daughter a better future, not sell her into virtual slavery for almost a decade. “Owen, I’m looking for a program without any period of indenture.  I know they exist, but you’re the fifteenth broker I’ve talked to and none of them have offered even an application to an indenture free program.” “They do exist, but Ms. Murray, you must understand.  There are a lot of people who want their children to receive an off-world education, and slots which don’t require a period of indentured service are in especially high demand.” “I understand that, but I haven’t gotten high demand, I’ve gotten completely unavailable.  I’d like to know why no one will even consider letting her apply.” Owen looked at her for almost a minute, not saying anything, before he finally leaned back in his chair and let out a weary sigh. “Honestly, Ms. Murray?” “Please.” “Those slots go to the kids of billionaires, presidents, CEO’s, ambassadors, kings and other high level government types.  Each year, a handful will go to some poor kids from the ghetto so that they can parade them around as part of a puff piece about how generous the aliens are, but that’s just window dressing.  The truth is, your daughter is neither rich enough, nor poor enough to ever get one of those slots.” Beth had to bite her tongue to keep from swearing.  She wasn’t surprised at all, but she was angry and frustrated.  She’d half suspected something like that was going on, but hearing it spelled out so clearly was still enough to make her blood boil. “Isn’t there anything, any way that I can get her off-world without selling her into slavery?” “Ms. Murray, Indentured Service is hardly slavery.” “It’s close enough.” Owen stared at her for a moment, and then shook his head. “What?” “It’s nothing.” “It’s something,” she said.  “Please.” He sighed.  “It’s not something I would normally offer to someone of your background.” “What does that mean?” “It means that some aliens have cultural practices that people of Western European descent find unpalatable, while those from other cultures would find those practices perfectly normal.” “I’m not sure I follow.” “Ms. Murray, you are aware that, much to the surprise of every biologist on the planet, there are a number of species with whom humanity shares a degree of reproductive compatibility?” “I am,” she said. “Well, there is a species called the Sionnach.  They’re native to a planet called Talamh in the Grian system, and they bear a rather striking resemblance to humans.  There are differences of course, but the basic morphology is the same.  The reason I bring this up is that about eighty years ago, Talamh suffered an environmental catastrophe that wiped out nearly ninety-five percent of their population in the span of a few weeks.  Because of their reproductive practices prior to the incident, the Sionnach found themselves facing a sort of genetic bottleneck, and they decided that the best way to alleviate this was to seek an outside infusion of genetic material.” “They’re looking for breeding stock,” Beth said. “Yes.” “You can’t be serious.” “And this is why I don’t offer this option to white people,” Owen said.  “Ms. Murray, I’m not suggesting you sell your daughter off as some kind of brood mare.  The Sionnach take selection of their mates very, very seriously.  They gather applications from a number of candidates, and the Sionnach in question reviews them, and selects the ones they like.  Then, their family reviews their choices, and select a candidate.  The candidate is then brought to the house of their prospective spouse, and they spend a period of time together.  Roughly five hours.  During that time they talk, get to know each other, and decide if they want to proceed.  If both parties agree, they enter a five year engagement.  During those five years, the candidate is treated as a member of the house.  They are given a stipend, they’re educated, they’re housed, fed, provided with medical care, and they undergo medical procedures which allow them to survive on Talamh without special equipment.” “What sort of medical procedures?” “Talamh is a high gravity world with a higher-than-normal concentration of heavy metals in the environment.  Your daughter would need procedures to be able to stand up to the local gravity, and to be able to filter out metals she would not normally be able to purge from her system.  She would also undergo a type of gene therapy which would make her more resistant to radiation and give her the ability to see parts of the infrared spectrum and hear sounds normally outside of the range of human hearing.” “That sounds dangerous.” “The Sionnach are one of the founding species of the Hegemony.  Their technology is thousands of years more advanced than ours, and they’ve been doing these procedures since before humans built their first cities.” Beth shook her head.  “An arranged marriage…  I don’t know.” “If I’m honest, it’s a long shot.  You would have to take your daughter for a screening.  She’d have to pass the screening for any sort of genetic issues that would eliminate her, then she would have to be selected by one of the Sionnach.  If that happens, you and your family would have to travel to Talamh at the expense of the Sionnach house that selected her, and your daughter would have to get through the initial interview.  But if she does, she would get the education you want for her.” “And what happens at the end of the five years if she decides she doesn’t want to marry the person who selected her.” “Then she’s free to walk away.  She’d be given a small amount of money, and passage to anywhere within the Hegemony, but she’d be free to do what she wants.” “No indenture?  No repayment of expenses?” Beth asked. “No,” Owen said.  “But again, it’s a long shot, and I take my normal fee just to put you through the application process, whether she gets selected or not.” “How many humans get selected?” Beth asked. “She’d be the first,” Owen said. “What’s your fee?” Beth asked. “Five hundred Hegemony credits.” Beth winced.  Given current exchange rates, that was almost ten thousand dollars. “How quickly would we know?” Beth asked. Owen turned and woke up his computer.  She watched as he pulled up a page and scrolled through before clicking on a link. “There’s only one family looking right now.  Applications are due by the end of next week.  You’d know in a month, tops.” Beth thought about it for a moment.  It was a longshot, and she wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea, but it was better than an indenture, so she reached for her credit card. *** Sam looked up from her homework at the sound of a light knock on her bedroom door.  The door was wide open, and her mother was standing there looking at her.  Sam couldn’t quite place the expression on her face but given the appointment she had earlier, Sam didn’t have any doubt about what it meant. “No luck, huh?” she asked, trying not to let the relief she felt creep into her voice.  She knew an off-world education would open a lot of doors for her and give her opportunities that she wouldn’t have otherwise, and she really did want to go off-world, travel in space and see other planets someday, but the idea of living on another planet for four or more years was both frightening and overwhelming. “Not much,” her mom said.  “He did have one program you could apply for that doesn’t include an indenture period.  I emailed you the link to the application.  I need you to fill it out today, because I made an appointment for tomorrow for you to go for the physical and psych scan that’s required.” “Tomorrow?  Mom, tomorrow’s Jenny’s birthday party.” “I know, sweetie, and I’m sorry.  I know you were looking forward to the party, but you might have to miss it.  I’ve already got us portal tokens, and tomorrow is the only day we can go before the deadline without you missing school.  I made the appointment for as early as I could, so you should get home in time to go.” Sam wanted to argue, but she already knew it was useless.  She hadn’t missed a day of school since halfway through the eighth grade, and she knew her mom wasn’t going to let her start less than a month before graduation.  She also knew her mom wasn’t going to let her pass up a chance at an off-world scholarship just to go to a birthday party.  Even if the birthday girl was her best friend who she’d been crushing on since Kindergarten.  Of course, her mom didn’t exactly know that last part because she hadn’t told her she liked girls.  She’d considered telling her a few times, but she’d always changed her mind at the last minute, because if her mom knew she liked girls, she might decide that Jenny was a distraction that Sam didn’t need in her life and that wasn’t a battle she wanted to fight. “Fine,” she said, reaching for her laptop.  “I’ll do the application now.” “Thank you.  And Sam, I love you.” “I love you too, mom,” she said. Her mom left and Sam opened up the email link, which took her to a form that asked her for an invite code.  She checked the email and sure enough, there was a code for her.  She copied it and pasted it into the form, and when she did, it took her to the next page, and a lot of the information was prepopulated, including her latest ID card photo, name and age, along with her school transcripts and medical records.  The stuff that was left for her to fill out read more like a dating profile than a college application. The first section was hobbies and interests and activities.  She thought about it for a minute and decided to just be honest instead of going through all the BS she usually did for the college apps.  She put down soccer, swimming, surfing, electronics, robotics, reading, martial arts, camping and motocross.  She attached pictures of herself in her soccer uniform, along with a couple of video clips from some of the team’s games, then she added a few videos of her swim meets, and a couple of pictures and some videos of her surfing.  She pulled up her YouTube folder and attached a few build videos for some of her robotics projects, along with the parts lists, schematics, models for the 3D printed parts, and the source code for the micro-controllers she’d written.  She added a picture of her holding two trophies from a local Karate tournament where she’d placed second in sparring, and third in bo staff, and added a few videos of her matches.  She also added a few pictures from her camping trips and a picture of her sitting on a dirt bike, along with a video Jenny had taken of her running one of the beginner courses, then pulled up her ebook library and dumped the list of all her books, listed her favorite movies and attached all her playlists from her music library. The next section was a little weird.  It asked about what sort of foods she liked, so she gave a list.  Then is asked whether she enjoyed various activities.  Most of them were fairly common things.  Theater, music, art.  A couple she had to check the cultural database link.  She was surprised and excited when she found out that whoever was sponsoring this program apparently considered dragon racing important enough to put on the questionnaire. All in all, she spent about two hours filling out the application, and once she was done, she hit submit, and then pulled out her cell phone and opened up her text messages with Jenny. Sam:  ‘Bad news.  I might miss your party.’ Jenny:  ‘What?!!!’ Sam:  ‘Mom’s dragging me to New York in the morning for a physical and a psych scan for a scholarship.’ Jenny:  ‘She’s still on that off-world college kick?’ Sam:  ‘Yeah.’ Jenny:  ‘Girl, you don’t want to go to college with ET’s’ Sam:  ‘I’ve got to get accepted before I have to worry about it.’ Jenny:  ‘Come by my place when you’re done.  Even if you miss the party, I want to see you.’ Sam:  ‘Will do.  See you tomorrow.’ Jenny;  ‘Night.’ Sam sat down her phone and looked at her homework.  She’d wanted to finish before dinner, but there was no way that was happening now.  She grabbed it anyway and went back to work, trying to get as much done as possible before her mom called her downstairs. 

***

End Chapter 1

***

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[atlafan]

Hii ok u dont have to write this if it doesnt inspire u but I’ve been watching Selling Sunset on Netflix & I’ve been waiting impatiently for the 3rd season cuz it’s just so good lol but i was wondering if u could write something about rich real estate agent H? Maybe helping the MC buy her first home and they hit it off? Ur the only 1 who writes these diverse Harry’s & I can’t stop thinking about real estate H showing her expensive houses & like doing NaughtyStuff with her in an empty 1 lol xx HC

a/n: this has been in my inbox for a while and I’ve been wanting to get to it, so here it is! there is smut, but it’s more tame than you requested. Hope you still like it! 

Sold

You weren’t sure how you were able to do it, but you finally had enough money for a down payment on a home. You scrimped and saved for years as best you could, you paid off the majority of your student loans, you built up your credit, and now you felt ready for this very adult step. 

Your parents weren’t sure why you weren’t content with just renting. “What if you meet someone?” They’d ask you. “Then they could just move in with me, or we’d find another place. It’s an investment!” You’d reply. They had this vision in their head that you’re supposed to buy a home with a partner. It was the twenty-first century, you didn’t need anyone to help you...or so you thought. 

The pre-approval process at the bank was lengthy, but thorough. They’d need to see your W2′s from two years prior, they needed to know how long you’ve been at your current job, and basically just how much money you had altogether. The mortgage specialist at the bank was very kind. 

“So, you’re doing this all on your own?” 

“I am.” You smile.

“Have you got real estate agent yet?”

“No.” You shrug. “You don’t really need when you’re the one buying do you? I can just call whoever’s showing the house and work with them.”

“Maybe in small towns, but in larger areas like this you’ll want a realtor, trust me. It doesn’t cost you anything either way. They can top shop, help you negotiate, all those kinds of things.”

“They also like to show you houses out of your price range.” You scoff. 

“Not the honest ones. I get it, at the end of the day, they’re out there to make a quick buck, and the more the house is, the larger the cut they get. But I know a guy, he actually helped my son buy his first home. He was absolutely wonderful, and he’s a shark.” She goes through the many business cards on her desk. “Ah! Here it is, Harry Styles, he works for Greenfield Real Estate.” 

You take the card from her and scan it over.

“Don’t they sell, like, really nice homes? They work with people looking for mansions.” 

“Just give him a call, and tell him I sent you. You won’t regret it, trust me. Your pre-approval is only good for ninety days, so you’ll want to contact him soon.” 

//

Your head was swimming, but you knew she had a point. Half the houses you favorited on realtor.com or zillow were sold already. It was a seller’s market for sure. Maybe you would need someone to help you negotiate...but did it have to be a man? Couldn’t you find a female realtor? You spent years becoming the strong, independent woman you came to be, and now it felt like you’d be surrendering to some stereotype. 

However, after perusing on the Greenfield website, you see a picture of Harry. You bite your bottom lip, swallow some pride, and dial his number. 

“Greenfield Real Estate, this is Harry.” You weren’t expecting the British accent, or the deep voice and drawl that came with it. “Hello?”

“Um, hi! Yeah, Doris at Hills Bank gave me your card...I’m a first time home buyer.” You want to smack yourself for how stupid you sound. 

“Oh, I love Doris! I’ve worked with her a bunch. I actually helped her son buy his first home last year.”

“That’s what she told me.” 

“Right, so, picking a realtor is sort of like dating, you wanna make sure you pick the right one. Why don’t we meet up for coffee somewhere locally so we can get to know each other a bit.” 

Pushy, he was already wanting to meet you. Probably to have you sign your life away to be his client. 

“Sure, we could do that.”

“Are you local? There’s a place on Bleaker Street that has great coffee.” 

“Is it Monte Alto?”

“Yeah! That’s the one. When are you free?”

“I could meet you Friday during lunch my break.”

“Sounds great, I’m assuming noon?”

“Correct.” 

“By the way, you didn’t tell me your name.”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Alright, Y/N, I’ll see you Friday at noon at Monte Alto.” 

You take a huge breath after you hang up. 

//

Friday rolled around, and you weren’t able to step out of the office until nearly 11:50. It would take a little more than ten minutes to get there, and you hated being late. You were happy you had at least looked up what Harry looked like so you’d be able to spot him once you were there. 

Once you’re there, you see a man sitting on one of the cushioned chairs, looking out the window. It had to be him. 

“Harry?” 

He looks over at you and smiles. He stands up to shake your hand.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, hi, sorry I’m late, I’ve had meeting after meeting this morning. Fridays aren’t usually this busy.”

“No worries at all. Tell me, what’s your order?” 

“Oh, I can get it myself. I’m gonna grab a bagel too.”

“Good idea, I’ll do the same. Now, what’ll you have?” 

“Really...I can-”

“I know you can, but I invited you here, it would be rude to have you pay. Do this with all my perspective clients.” 

“Well, don’t I feel special.” You say sarcastically. He chuckles softly as you both get in line. 

You both order your drinks and food, and wait awkwardly for your names to be called, then you sit back down. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re more than welcome. So, tell me, what’s your dream home?”

“Oh god, um, nice big kitchen, I love to cook when I actually have time. A room for entertaining. I’m usually the one to host friends. Two stories, a garage, three bedrooms would be ideal, but I’ll settle for two-”

“No settling.” He smirks. “Go on.” 

“Um...well, so, three bedrooms, ideally I’d like a master with an en suite, but who doesn’t?” You watch as he makes notes on a little pad of paper. “I’d like a yard, but it doesn’t need to be huge. Bonus points if there’s a deck or patio, maybe even a pool, but I can live without those things.”

“And you’re buying this just for yourself, correct? No husbands or boyfriends I need to know about?” 

“You know, I could have a girlfriend.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry you’re right, um-”

“Relax, I’m teasing.” You chuckle. “But to answer your question, I am doing this alone. I feel like I’m ready for a house, so I want one.” 

“Thought I put my foot in my mouth for a second there. I need to learn to just say partner.” He picks up his drink to take a sip, and that’s when you notice he has perfectly manicured nails. Interesting. “So it seems like you know how to be realistic about what you want, and you also have a dream list. What about projects, do they scare you?”

“I’m good with painting or even having to put new flooring in, but I’d like to stay away from any major reno.” 

“Gotcha.” He makes another note. “And what price range are we working with here?” 

“Let me just make a note on my phone, I’d rather not say out loud in case someone tries to rob me.” 

He smiles and nods. He squints at your screen and makes a note. 

“Great, good for you. What do you do for work?” 

“I’m a physician, I work at a doctor’s office not too far from here. I’ve been there for two years, and I love what I do.”

“That’s great. So, Doris talked with you about balancing a mortgage and paying down your student loans?”

“They’re mostly paid for, actually. I got a lot of scholarships for my undergrad, and during med school I was awarded a pretty decent grant.” 

“Perfect.” He scribbles some more notes and then puts his pad and pen down. “What do you want to know about me?” 

“How long have you been a realtor for?” 

“Six years, been with Greenfield since I started.”

“What made you get into it?”

“Love seeing people happy.” 

“What about when someone buys below the asking price?”

“Doesn’t happen with me, not when I’m selling anyways. However, when I’m helping someone buy a home, well, let’s just say I’m pretty good at negotiating.” He smirks. “You’d be in good hands with me, but if you wanna shop around some more I’ll understand.” 

“Do you work with first time buyers a lot?”

“Sometimes, it depends. I know a lot of them like to work with me. They’re usually young, I’m young. Makes for a more relatable experience.”

“Okay.” You look outside and think for a moment. “I think I’d like to work with you.”

He smiles big at you.

“Are there any homes you’ve had in mind that you’d like to start looking at? I can definitely see what open houses are out there too. People tend to make offers fast, but don’t let that scare you. The home has to feel right, if you want it, I’ll make sure you get it.” 

“There were a few I’ve seen on realtor...” You take your phone out to show him. “I’d like to not have a super long commute either if I can help it.” 

“Are you looking to grow into this home or is it more of a starter space for you?” You give him a funny look. “I just mean, like, would you be open to a condo or something like that.”

“Only if it was detached and didn’t have a high HOA.” 

He nods and looks at some of the other homes you had favorited.

“So what I’m gonna do is go back to my office and run a few searched. Then I’ll text you a link to the home I find, and you can tell me which ones you like. Don’t be afraid to tell me you hate them either. Then if there’s a couple you wanna see, we’ll set up a time that works for you, and then I’ll contact the other realtor, sound good?”

“Sounds great.” 

You shake hands again before leaving. As you make your way back to the office, you feel relieved. You had someone you could ask questions to, and someone basically on your side. Harry was nice, a salesman at heart, but nice.

//

Saturday morning you get a text from Harry.

Harry Styles - Hi Y/N, it was great meeting you yesterday. Here are some places I think you might like. Let me know what you think! 

You liked how formal he was. You tap the link he sent you. The first couple were duds, but there were a few on here that actually peaked your interest. 

You - Could we three of the home? The bottom three on the list. 

Harry Styles - Sure! When would work for you? 

You - I don’t work on Mondays, so that would be easiest. Timing doesn’t matter. 

Harry Styles - I’ll contact the realtors and see what we can put together. 

You - Thanks so much!

You felt really excited. You wondered if maybe you should invite your parents to come look at the houses with you, but maybe you would save that for a second look through once you actually find something. A house can look much different in pictures than it does in person. 

//

Monday morning, around 9:30, you meet Harry at the first location. His car was parked in the driveway. He gets out when he sees you pull in. He had two coffees in hand. 

“Morning.” He says to you. “Got you a coffee, I remembered your order.” 

“Oh! Um, thanks.” You take it from him. 

“I’ve already gone in and unlocked the doors and turned the lights on. The other realtor isn’t here, which is perfectly fine. Take your time, feel free to walk around outside before heading in too.” 

You smile and nod. The front was beautifully landscaped, and there was a gate leading to the backyard. He follows you out that way. You listen as he explains when the home was built and why the people were selling it. There a nice deck that had been recently put on, no pool though, but there was room for one. You go up the stairs of the deck and go in through the sliding glass door. 

“Kitchen was recently renovated within the last five years. All appliances come with the place.” 

“It’s beautiful.” You run your fingers over the nice granite counter tops. 

As you scope out the rest of the house, you’re not as impressed as you were with it when you first walked in. The bedrooms were small, and barely had any storage. The basement wasn’t in the best condition either. 

“Definitely a no, but a good first experience nonetheless.” 

Harry looks down at his watch as he nods. 

“Wanna follow me to the next place then?”

“Sure.” 

Same thing happened at house number two and three. You just weren’t wowed. You sigh heavily as you lean against your car. 

“Don’t get discouraged, Y/N. It’s better to know what you don’t like. We can keep looking. When I go into the office tomorrow I can run another search. Maybe we can look at some condos.” 

“That might be good. Maybe somewhere with people my age? It would be cool to be in a little community.”

“Definitely.” 

“Thanks...I hope I haven’t been a pain with the things I don’t like.”

“Not at all. This is a really big purchase, you should get what you want.” 

//

It took three more weeks of meeting up with Harry on various days to find a place you liked. On a Saturday evening, he brought you over to a condo that was detached, had a garage, a community gym and pool. It had three bedrooms, and two and a half baths. One being an en suite for the master bedroom.The kitchen was gorgeous and flowed into a dining/living area. You were thrilled. 

“Harry...” You look at him. “It’s perfect.” 

“Really, you like it?”

“I love it!” You squeal and hug him without thinking. “Sorry.” You blush.

“It’s fine, it’s exciting.” 

“I’d like to put an offer in. The price is rate and the HOA is reasonable. It’s not too far from work. I’d be able to entertain, the backyard is fenced in. There was even security at the gate! This is my home, I can feel it.” 

“Fantastic. The paperwork can take some time. Would you wanna fill everything out over dinner?” 

“Um...sure...” 

“Plus, it gives you a chance to see what places nearby are like. We passed some nice restaurants on the way here.” 

You follow him to a nice pizza place a couple of miles away. He bring a large packet of paper and a couple of pens in with him.

“On the way here I called the other realtor to let him know an offer was coming their way.”

“Thanks.”

You both get seated and are given some water. He takes the papers out and explains what you would need to sign, and what your offer would mean. Harry said you could definitely low ball the sellers, so you asked for about $15K less than the asking price. 

“They probably won’t accept, but most people don’t on the first offer. This just gives us a good starting point.”

“And you think the six grand in closing costs is good?”

“Yeah, totally reasonable. That’ll be about half of it. Sometimes, you can get more money off after the home inspection. Once a price is settled, you’ll want to schedule that right away. I have some names of some great home inspectors.”

“Would you be there for that?”

“I would. I’m there for all of it. The other realtor will be there too.” 

“Okay good. I’d feel better with you there.” 

As you begin to sign the documents, a waiter comes over. 

“Good evening folks, can I start you off with anything to drink?”

“I’d love a glass of rose please.” You say. 

“Just a Corona for me, thanks.” 

The waiter nods and leaves you be. 

“Did you want to just split a pizza?” Harry asks looking down at the menu. 

“Sure, what do you like? I usually just get green peppers and mushrooms.”

“Works for me. Would you mind this cauliflower crust?”

“Not at all! I prefer that, actually.” 

‘Perfect.” He smiles. 

When the waiter comes back, Harry orders your pizza. He watches as you finish up all the paperwork. He checks over everything to make sure you signed everything. 

“I’ll get this all scanned and sent over tomorrow.”

“Do you ever take a day off?”

“Yes and no. The realtor world is funny. Sometimes I’m in the office all day and then I wont hear from a client until 8PM. I’m not helping someone buy, I’m helping someone sell. I’m always busy.”

“Sorry to take up your Saturday night...”

“No, don’t be. I’d just be home working.” He shrugs and takes a sip of his beer. “It’s your Saturday night I’m more worried about.” 

“Oh please.” You laugh. “My friends know I’ve been busy with this, they understand. Besides when I showed them who you were...” You stop yourself from finishing the sentence. 

“No, please, go on.” He smirks.

“They just, they saw your picture on the Greenfield website, that’s all.” You blush. 

The waiter comes over with the pizza, and thankfully it breaks a bit of the tension. You each take a slice and dig in. 

“This is delicious.” You say. 

“Yeah, never been here before, I’ll definitely have to come back.” He takes another sip of his beer. “Once that condo is yours, I fully expect an invite to your house warming, by the way. I like to know my clients are good to go.”

“I definitely won’t be a stranger.” 

When you and Harry are done, he walks you out to your car. He gives you a small hug goodbye as well. You felt like you just had a date, but there was no way you did. 

//

After going back and forth twice, your offer was accepted. You set up a home inspection with one of the names Harry had given you. He meets you at the house when it’s time, and you’re able to meet the other realtor. A woman, who was a little too delighted to see Harry. You felt jealous when they hugged. However, he stayed close to you and took notes while the inspector was talking. 

You made sure to ask a lot of questions. There were no major things that alarmed you. All of the information was just a lot to take in, and you were feeling slightly overwhelmed. You should have brought your parents, or another friend. Was Harry a friend at this point? As the inspector was putting together a full report for you, and getting your email, the other realtor was talking to Harry.

“So, I thought you were only in the selling game right now.” She smirks at him.

“Once in a while I take on a buyer.” He shrugs. “It’s good commission.”

“Yeah, thanks, can’t wait to split it with you.” She rolls her eyes. “But I do love when our paths cross.”

“Mhm.” He looks over at you and then back to the realtor. “The previous owners took great care of this place.”

“Yeah, they did. The only reason they moved is because they’re daughter had a baby and they wanted to be closer to her.”

“Ah, classic.”

“Are you doing anything later?”

“Um…well…Y/N is probably going to have questions and stuff, so I’ll probably be busy with her for a bit.”

“Okay, but, like, tonight, are you free? We could grab a drink.”

“I…”

“Harry?” You say, walking over to them. “Everything’s all set. He said I should have the radon and water tests by next week.”

“Perfect. You’ll be able to make a final decision and add anything to an addendum then.”

“It was nice to meet you.” You shake the woman’s hand.

“Same to you. Look forward to hearing from you soon.”

“Y/N, I took a lot of notes, is there anything you want to go over?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“See ya Margaret, we’ll be in touch.” He shakes her hand and leaves her standing there, shocked.

Harry walks with you outside, and you agree on a bar to meet up at. You both grab drinks and Harry goes over his notes with you. He gives you the name of a good plumber since you mentioned you’d want to update a few fixtures.

“What about a painter? Know of anyone that can help with that?”

“You don’t need to waste your money on a professional. Painting’s not that hard.” He chuckles.

“Well, I am not very skilled when it comes to that kind of stuff. Plus, I won’t really have the time to do it myself, and I’d wanna get it done before I move.”

“You could get all done in a couple of weekends no problem, you just need some friends that know how to paint.” He puts a toothpick in his mouth and fiddles with it. “I know how to paint.”

“You do?”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “Sometimes sellers need to fix up their houses quickly. I’ve come to the rescue on more than one occasion.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“I don’t make any money if I don’t. No one wants to be an ugly house.” He takes a sip of his drink. “I guess what I’m saying is, I could help you paint. You’re about to have a mortgage payment on your hands.”

“Pending the inspection report.” You smirk.

“Right.” He smiles.

“Did you offer up the same service for Doris’ son?”

“No.” He says smugly. “He already knew how to paint.”

“That other woman before, what was her name? Margaret?”

“Yeah, what about her?”

“I heard her ask you out…”

“She didn’t, she wasn’t…uh…” He scratches the back of his neck. “Sometimes we go for drinks if we end of working on the same house. Nothing more than that really.”

“So, you’re not, like, seeing her.”

“God, no. That would be a major conflict of interest.”

“Do you always go out for drinks with your clients?”

“Sometimes…I know some people have clients over to their home to do paperwork, but I didn’t think you’d feel super comfortable coming over to some guy’s house you barely know.”

“How considerate of you.” You giggle.

“Did it bother you that she asked me out tonight?”

You nearly choke on your drink.

“What? No, why, uh, why would it have bothered me?”

“Because…if someone had done the same to you in front of me I would have been bothered, but to be fair, I’m a pretty jealous guy.” He finishes his drink and orders another one.

“How many times does this happen?”

“What?”

“You hitting on your clients.”

“Is that what I’m doing?” He fake gasps. “And no, I don’t usually do this. I’m a little embarrassed, actually. Not very professional of me to have a crush on your client.” Your eyes widen and your jaw drops slightly. “Sorry, I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable.”

“No! I…I’m just a little surprised that you’re into me, is all.”

“Why? You’ve got a great career, you’re super independent, and you’re really funny.”

“How do you not already have a girlfriend?”

“I’m really busy, like, all the time. I’m able to take vacations here and there, but you see how much I work. Any time I date it doesn’t last because people don’t understand the job. You’re a doctor, you get it. You must be busy going to classes trying to stay up to date on everything.”

“I am, I’m definitely busy a lot…but I make time for friends.”

“So do I. My friends don’t get offended if I have to cancel or reschedule, or they at least don’t take it personally.”

“I get what you’re saying…dating is hard when you have a demanding job.”

“Exactly.”

“So…are you going to ask me out?”

“Can’t, not until this is all done at least. Conflict of interest.”

“Oh.”

“But when I do, are you saying you’ll say yes?”

“I guess we’ll find out when you ask, won’t we?”

//

Harry helped you go over the inspection report once you got it. You asked for some money towards getting the furnace serviced, and the previous owners thought it was a reasonable request. You were able to close a couple of weeks later. Typically the realtor comes to the bank with the buyer on the big day.

“Harry!” Doris squeals as she hugs him. “Great to see you.”

“Same to you.”

“Love when we get to see each other like this.”

“Same here, how’s your son?”

“Oh, he’s great. Y/N, have a seat. We have lots of things to sign.”

You sign what you need to. Doris gives you a gift bag with some wine glasses. Harry hands over a bottle of champagne to you as well. It was very exciting. You were officially a home owner.

“Thank you so much.” You shake Doris’ hand before leaving the bank.

Harry grabs your wrist once you’re both outside.

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks, I literally couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a quick hug. “My parents are gonna meet me there soon so they can check it out. I think they wanna take me out to eat to celebrate.”

“That’s great.” He clears his throat. “What, uh, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Continuing to pack.” You laugh. “But, um, I could make myself available in the evening.” You smile.

“I’m having a little pool party tomorrow. Bunch of my friends are coming over, I’d love to have you over too, if you felt comfortable.”

“That sounds amazing! Can I bring anything?”

“Just your beautiful self.”

//

Your parents were very impressed with your new purchase. You did well. Saturday morning you continued your packing adventure, trying to make sure you properly labeled your boxes. You needed to make sure none of your medical journals got lost.

Even though Harry had offered over and over to teach you how to paint, your parents offered to pay for a painting crew for you, just to make things go faster. Once that was done you’d be able to move. You search your dresser for a suitable bathing suit. You weren’t sure how much skin to actually show.

“Ah ha!” You find your green, strapless one-piece that had a cute cut out in the upper part of the stomach. You’re also able to find a cute cover up dress to throw on over it.

In the latter part of the afternoon, you drive over to Harry’s. You were impressed by the neighborhood he was able to live in. All of the houses were huge. When you pull up to his house you wonder what he needed such a big house for. Maybe he entertained a lot too, just like you did.

You – just pulled up!

Harry Styles - come right around back!

You walk around to where you can hear music playing and people laughing. There were plenty of people already in Harry’s large in-ground pool.

“Y/N!” Harry waves over to you.

Damn, he has a lot of tattoos. You think to yourself.

“Hi, Harry!”

He comes over to you and kisses you on the cheek without really thinking.

“Glad you could make it. Make yourself comfortable. Plenty of food, plenty of pool.” He chuckles.

Harry’s friends were really nice and welcoming, you didn’t feel too out of place. His eyes couldn’t help but scan over your body the second you took your coverup off. Turns out Harry was a master on the grill. He made sure to pay attention to while still being a good host to his friends. It was a fun party. As the night dwindled you wanted to make some sort of move.

“You know, I’ve seen your entire backyard, but I’ve yet to be given a your of your home.”

“You’d like that?”

“It’s only fair, you’ve seen mine.” You wink at him.

He leads you inside.

“Well, you’ve seen the kitchen, obviously.”

He takes you through the first floor and then leads you upstairs. He explains that he has all the extra rooms so his family has their own space for when they come to visit.

“And this is my room, but you don’t have to-“

“No, let’s see it.” You smile.

He smiles back and opens the door. Your jaw drops when you see how much space there is. There were two closets, both filled with nice clothes.

“Come check out the bathroom. I had some work done to it last year.”

“Why do you have a double vanity?”

“For guests.” He blushes. “My last girlfriend actually, she liked having her own sink. Apparently I have too many products and they can get in the way.” He clears his throat. “Anyways, I had everything redone last year. I know a great bathroom guy if you ever wanna update anything.”

“You have a guy for everything.” You giggle. “And you do have a lot of products, two sinks makes sense.” You walk out and back into the bedroom. “So…”

“So…”

“What date number would you consider this to be?”

“Legally, the first…not legally…” He grins. “Think I’ve lost track.” He steps closer to you. “My friends liked you.”

“I liked them.” You wrap your arms around his neck. “And I like you.”

“I like you too.” His hands move to your hips. “And I really like this bathing suit. Haven’t been able to take my eyes off you all day.”

You both smile and continue to make eye contact. Harry looks down at your lips and leans in. He presses his lips to yours, and you find yourself grasping at him to pull him closer. You couldn’t remember the last time you were intimate with someone, but it had definitely been too long. You were ravenous. You open your mouth him and he groans into you. You both shuffle back to the bed and fall on top of it.

“If this feels too fast, just let me know.” He breathes as you move to straddle him.

“Harry, I want you.” You cup his cheek and he moves to kiss your palm. “But, if it feels too fast for you, we can cool it.”  

“I want you too, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel pressured or anything.”

“I don’t, but thank you.”

You lean down to kiss him again. His hands move to the back of your bathing suit.

“Gotta get this off you.” He grunts.

You get off him to stand up.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“Seems to be our little theme.” He smirks.

Harry stands up and takes his trunks off. Your eyes grow wide when you look down at his hard cock. He steps towards you and helps you out of your swim suit.

“I have a fun idea.” He says as he kisses down your neck. “We’ve been in the sun all day, let’s go hop in the shower.”

You smile at him and nod. He leads you into the bathroom and gets the water in the shower going. He yanks you inside and gets you under the warm water. He backs you up to the wall and press you against it. His hands roam your body as his lips find yours again.

“I’ve thought about this so many times.” He says.

“You have?”

“Mhm, there were so many times in the houses I showed you that I just wanted to take you right then and there.”

He nips at your jaw as his hands knead your breasts. You wrap your arms back around his neck. You feel his hard cock press against your hip and it makes you whimper. One of his hands slides down your stomach. He looks at you to make sure it’s alright and you nod yes.

Your head rolls back against the tile as his fingers slips between your legs. His thumb works your clit while he works two of his fingers inside you.

“Oh my god.” You gasp and grind your hips toward his hand. You reach for his length and start to pump him.

You both were panting. You have to let go of him to clutch onto his shoulders as you release around his fingers.

“Please.” You moan. “Fuck me. I have an IUD.”

Harry kisses you and hooks one of his arms under one of your legs so he can push in at a better angle. You bite down on his bottom lip, causing him to groan loudly.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He says into your ear as he thrusts in and out of you.

“You feel so good, Harry, fuck.”

He pulls out of you, turns you around, and presses back inside. His chest was flush with your back. You claw at the tile as he rocks in and out of you. One of his hands snakes around to rub your clit and the other works one of your breasts.

You feel a flood of things wash over you, but mostly it was another incredible orgasm. You could get used to this.

“Shit, I’m gonna come. Where do you want it?” He grunts.

“Inside me.”

“Jesus.” He groans and releases inside you. You moan out at the warm feeling.

//

“This is the softest robe in the world.”

“Glad you like it. You can wear it anytime.”

You both were cuddled up in his bed, munching on some fruit while watching TV.

“Do you have parties like this often?”

“Only when I’ve finally told a tougher home.”

“You were working with someone while working with me? How did you find the time?”

“Babe, I was working with like six other people.” He smirks.

“Doris was right, you are a shark.” You laugh.

“Gotta be able to afford this place, right?” He tucks some hair behind your ear. “You’ll stay tonight? I’m a cuddler.”

“Of course.” You giggle. “I’ll have to have you over for my next game night, you can meet all of my friends.”

“Like I said, I fully expect to be invited to your house warming.”

“That too.”

“But I’d be happy to meet your friends. Are they doctors too?”

“A couple of them are, yeah. We met in med school. Wouldn’t have made it through without them.”

You two stay up for hours, legs tangled in each other, telling each lots of things about one another. It was easy to talk to Harry, it had been since you met. He felt the same about you too. You both knew it wouldn’t be so easy to just get together. Harry’s schedule was unpredictable, and your days were long and tiring. But, neither of you really cared because you both felt like you found your person.

Harry loved game nights with your friends. He was a tad competitive, but it just made for more laughs. You both liked having your separate spaces, but you enjoyed when he could actually spend the night, or when you could spend the night at his place. Neither of you took it personally when the other was too busy or too tired either. Once you felt truly settled, you wrote Doris a thank you note for setting you up with the best realtor and the love of your life.

[lackofhonor]

Rant begin. Just me venting.

...

Went to run with my running club this evening for a quick couple miles and got there mid conversation between two other members, both of whom are late 40s to early 60s. They are discussing adult children who continue living with their parents after 18 and how they can't believe how "kids" now just are content with "gaming and living in their parents' basement instead of moving out".

Me: "I didn't hear the situation you are discussing but it is actually quite expensive to rent a place. The going rate here (under 100k pop. city) is about $600 to $620 a month for a one bedroom. I currently rent at a slightly lower rate because I help my landlord around the property. For a lot of young adults working multiple jobs or fresh out of schooling it isn't always possible to afford a place on their own. Sometimes a roommate helps but you have to find someone reliable enough to rent with so you don't end up holding the bag.

Them: "But too many kids just don't want to try because they have it so good with their parents. "

Me: "That might be true. Everyone's experience is different. I am just saying it isn't always as easy as it seems. Prices vary with location and sometimes it is just as smart to stay put if you can and save money. Like I said I am currently renting and I know it can be hard."

Am I the asshole? Because these guys sure as shit have not been renting anytime in the last twenty years I guarantee you. One is a retired pharmacetuical salesman and not sure what the other guy does/did. I don't mean to insert myself but my tank for tolerating bullshit is low and I am about fucking tired of hearing this fucking bootstrap logic. Love my running club but it is very very middle to upper middle class/affluent and sometimes I wanna whack people for saying shit like this.

Maybe I am getting old too, but I feel like if you didn't have to be a young adult (18-25) or struggling adult (No age range thanks) from 2007 on your opinion on things like renting, wages, health insurance coverage etc is pretty well out of date.

I am having a hard time finding people I can connect with because while I was able to obtain my bachelors, I am just educated enough to be dangerous and want to discuss complex issues but also just poor and working class enough that I am always an outsider. Like I had a chat with someone who thought he grew up poor because his family farmed. His family had 1500+ head of cattle, owns over 2k acres and farms double that via rented ground. When I asked him why he thought he grew up poor he said his father didn't have a bachelor's degree and all the money went back into the farm. I asked if they ever had to go without or not seek medical care or put any of their assets for sale because the farm was in trouble. He said no. His father also paid for each of his children to obtain their college education. My face: 😐 You know just because your father didn't have a college degree and farms doesn't necessarily mean you were poor. It sounds like you were asset rich but cash poor, which is very different from living near or below poverty line. Him: 🤑Nah I was poor.

Same person after I expressed being a little overwhelmed lately with my full time job, back injury, side gig cleaning/house sitting and part time job as a crisis counselor: "Aw you need to slow down. Tell me what's on your mind. You'll feel better."

Me: "Thanks but I really don't feel like you can relate to my experience right now."

Yet he is offended? This is why I don't even bother trying with a lot of people. It's fine for them to dump on you but when they can't or won't do the same for you suddenly you're the problem for either not sharing or sharing and their inability to empathize makes you feel worse. 😱😱😱

Rant over...

[kellanved-ammanas]

Late

It was finally October, Halloween month as some thought of it, which meant Merasmus should come around any day to mess with them and change up their battles with magic and stuff. But… it was two weeks in and he hadn’t even so much as shown up yet. He’d been late a few times before but never that late.

The rest of the team either seemed pleased by this or didn’t show any signs of caring. Pyro however did care. Merasmus made things fun and Pyro had always liked him. And the magic he always brought with him was the best; fireballs and everyone getting a chance to turn invisible, the cute little skeletons dudes and everything else never failed be awesome. So… where was he and why hadn’t he shown up yet?

“I don’t know,” Soldier said with a shrug when Pyro brought that question to him. As Merasmus’ former roommate he’d been the most obvious person to ask first. “Maybe he took the coward’s way out and gave up.” Hopefully not, Halloween was bound to be less fun without him.

The next most obvious person to ask was Spy because he tended to know a lot about everyone, it was his job after all. But… “Nope, I’ve no clue where he is,” was his answer as he swirled his wine in one hand, not even deigning to look up from his book. “Nor do I care to know because that would mean he came back to bother us. I’ve been enjoying not having him around for once.”

“Uh… you’re right, it is past time for him to show up, huh?” was Miss Pauling’s answer upon Pyro bringing the question to her. “I wonder why he hasn’t yet. I could probably find him if I really wanted to but…” she looked down at her desk and all the messy paperwork scattered all over it, “I’m kind of busy. Sorry Pyro, I’m sure he’ll show up any day now though so try to be just a little more patient.”

Pyro was tired of being patient though. He wanted proper Halloween and he wanted it now. … Maybe he could just find Merasmus himself. “Where does he live?”

Pauling raised an eyebrow at him. “I suppose I can give you that but how do you plan on getting down there?”

“I’ll have someone drive me.” This job paid more than well enough to pay someone to drive him around for a day or two if no one on the team wanted to come with him.

“All right I guess.” She turned to start typing something into the computer. “Wait until the weekend to go though and come back before battle starts on Monday. And don’t let the Administrator know, she doesn’t like how lax am I with you guys sometimes.”

Pyro nodded his assent; he hadn’t been planning to let the Administrator know anything about it anyway. And even though now that the idea had occurred to him, he was already rearing and ready to go, he could wait a couple more days. Maybe Merasmus would even show up in that time, rendering the trip unnecessary. One could only hope.

***

“You really going to let them win this year?” the Bombinomicon taunted for the umpteenth time as Merasmus strode into the library. He’d been expecting it but that didn’t make it any less annoying. “You always go down there to harass them around Halloween by not going this year, you’re admitting defeat, do you really want that?”

No but he never won no matter what he did and only ever wracked up more debt with his schemes. So he’d made the decision that he wasn’t going this year because what was the point? He wouldn’t accomplish anything but annoying and inconveniencing the mercs for however long he stuck around. He had better things to be doing with his time like… like… just other better things.

With a huff, he strode over to put the book in his hands back in its proper place.

“Of all the times for you to have one of your moping spells, why’d it have to be now?” the Bombinomicon continued because not replying encouraged him about as much as replying did.

“I’m not moping.” He was a powerful evil wizard and powerful evil wizards did not mope.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure you’re moping. And it’s really annoying because we should be doing things right now but we’re not because you’re moping around the castle feeling sorry for yourself again.”

Biting back an angry retort, Merasmus snatched the book he’d come in here for off the shelf and started for the exit.

“And now you’re going to run away like a…”

Merasmus slammed the door shut behind him, cutting off whatever insult the Bombinomicon had been about to throw at him. He really needed to do something about that damn book one of these days. Maybe he should do it now that he was thinking about it again because he’d been meaning to for a while. … He wasn’t in the mood though so he’d do it later, next time he needed to go into the library for sure… maybe.

Before he could go up more than a few steps to his room a hearty knock came from his front door. It was either another ding-dong-ditch from the teens that lived in the nearby town, a door-to-door salesman, or if he was really lucky another religious nutjob here to try to banish or convert him to whatever brand of religion they were peddling. In case it was one of the latter two, he placed his book down on the coffee table and put on his best evil smile as he strode over to answer it.

It was the red Pyro. Lifting a hand in a wave he muttered what sounded like a “Hello,” through his mask.

Merasmus was so surprised to find one of the mercs at his door it took him a few seconds to find his voice. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s Halloween month but you haven’t shown up yet so I came to check on you. Are you okay?”

“What?” Merasmus asked because there was no way that was actually what Pyro had said.

But Pyro repeated himself, speaking slower and clearer. He really had come all the way out here to check on Merasmus because he hadn’t shown up to bother the mercs. But… shouldn’t he have been pleased about that?

“You’ve never been this late before,” Pyro continued, still speaking in a way that made it easier to hear him through the mask. “So I thought something must be wrong. Like maybe the Mafia finally caught you and I’d have to go burn them down to save you. I’m glad that’s not the case. But are you okay? I lose track of time sometimes too so I understand if that’s why you’re so late.”

“I uh… I’m fine. I’m not going down there to bother you this year. I have better things to be spending my time on than wasting it trying to kill a bunch of mercenaries who can’t even die to begin with.” He was about to slam the door shut but the way Pyro’s entire body seemed to sag with disappointment stopped him.

Pyro mumbled something that his mask rendered unintelligible.

“What?”

“But Halloween!” he repeated. “It won’t be the same without you.”

How was Merasmus even supposed to respond to that? He’d never had anyone be disappointed he hadn’t shown up to bother them before. Heck, he’d never had anyone show up at his door to ask him if he was okay before either. It was weird but… he kind of liked it?

“Are you sure you don’t want to come? What if I help you? You give me all the magics and I’ll rain down pretty fire everywhere.”

“You’d really join my side and attack your teammates?” His quarrel was mostly with Soldier after all.

Pyro nodded. “They’d understand. Or you could join our team and give us magic to attack the BLUs. … Or if you’d rather not that’s fine too…” he trailed off to say a bit more that was really only unintelligible mumbling as he dropped his hands to hand limply by his side. It was pretty dang clear he wanted Merasmus to do his usual Halloween thing.

If it were anyone other than Pyro, Merasmus wouldn’t still given an instant ‘no’. But he’d always been intrigued by Pyro and the mystery that shrouded him. And well Pyro had come all the way out here to ‘check on him’ which no one had ever done for him before so… “Fine, as long as you agree to be my ally, I’ll return.” That should make it more interesting and might result in him winning for once, whatever that might mean when neither side’s people would stay dead if killed.

Pyro clapped and… hugged him. Thankfully it was brief enough that Merasmus didn’t have time to even try to respond to it because what the fuck even? Pulling back, Pyro grabbed his wrist and tugged him out the door. “Let’s go, it’ll be fun.”

Well, it’d certainly be better than not moping around his castle was. So maybe it would be fun.

[alex-ruins-everything]

Turning Pages - Chapter 2

Intrulogical bookshop au! Read the whole thing on ao3 here. 

Remus had walked by the bookshop at least three times before finding it. All because Roman’s dumb car broke down he was stuck carting his brother around. Eventually he did spot the shop Roman had gone off to (to annoy poor old Virgil of course, because bothering your boyfriend at work was peak romance, right?). It was a wooden storefront and a bell tingled as he opened the door, looking around as he was hit with that immediate paper smell. God no way that was just coming from the books, they had to have a candle or some shit lit somewhere. He glanced around, looking for his brother, but his eyes landed on someone much better. That man behind the counter was hot in a way Remus didn’t usually notice but goddamn, he was noticing now. His eyes lingered for a second before he raised his voice.

“Roman! If you don’t quit making out with Virgil against a bookshelf I’m gonna leave your ass here!” he said, shooting an annoying smile at his brother when he finally showed himself.

He looked around while Roman paid, not finding too much interesting until he joined him by the counter, taking another look at the man there. He was almost sure the guy’s name tag had been printed but nope...it was just painstakingly neat handwriting. Logan. Well, the face had a name.

“Nice to meet you, Specs,” he winked after Roman introduced him. “Now c’mon. If I don’t get to chase geese I’m throwing you in the pond.”

Roman bid the bookshop guy bye bye and finally they were back into the sweltering heat. Remus had commented earlier that if he had the chance he would 100% kick the Sun’s ass for making it so hot. And he stood by that. The two of them finished their day and Remus got to chase his geese like he wanted - until the geese started chasing him and then they went home. He couldn’t get that bookshop guy out of his head though for the rest of the day. Or the next day. Eventually he had to ask Roman what he knew.

“So, that bookshop dork. Specs,” he said, leaning against the doorframe of Roman’s bedroom. His brother was sitting on his bed with a sketchbook in his lap shooting him a questioning look.

“What about him?”

Remus took that as indication enough and he entered, sitting in Roman’s desk chair with a spin. “What do you know about him?”

“Logan? He’s a total stiff,” Roman laughed lightly. “Why do you care?”

“Hey, am I not allowed to be intrigued by people?”

“Not the way you get ‘intrigued’, no. Re, Logan won’t go for you. Hell, I’m pretty sure he only has eyes for that bookshop and the occasional biography,” Roman stated, adding a few more lines to his drawing.

“Once again, I am not lusting over a nerd who wants to fuck his books. I was just asking!” Remus said, putting his hands up in faux surrender before getting up. “At least I don’t spend my days there following the emo around like a lost puppy!”

And with that he slipped out of Roman’s room, laughing as shouts of protest followed him. Days passed and Remus went about his life until Saturday when he found himself at the thrift store that was right down the street from that bookshop. Well, surely it wouldn’t go hurt to visit. Right? He could have played it off as visiting Virgil, but Virgil didn’t work weekends so he was most likely back at Remus’ house with Roman. He got his excuse though when he reached the shop, a sign out front advertising that Patton’s Reading Circle was happening in about ten minutes. Ah, fate had given him impeccable timing today.

Remus pushed the door to the bookshop open, that same bell tingling. It wasn’t hard to spot where the book reading was going on. It was where the crowd of little kids and their tired looking parents were gathered. However he was keeping an eye out for a different spectacled bookshop employee. Logan wasn’t anywhere in eyesight though as Remus took a seat by the circle, figuring he had some time to kill anyway. Might as well learn why you shouldn’t give a mouse a cookie or whatever. He took a seat on the carpet with all the kids, blatantly ignoring the odd looks the parents gave him. He did accept the fruit snack offered by the kid next to him, leaning back on his hands as some guy in glasses came out holding a book and said hi to everyone. Remus figured that must be Patton. He looked like a total dork, but in a different way than the nerd Remus had come to see. His book reading wasn’t too shabby either, though it was far too vanilla for Remus’ taste. It ended and he clapped along with the kids, not moving from the carpet for a bit as kids joined their parents and either left or went to roam around the bookshop. It was a lot busier than the weekday Remus had been here before.

Eventually he stood up, going to a display and flipping through the book Patton had just read. It was very convincing that you should under no circumstances give a mouse a cookie. Remus’ attention fell away from that as he spotted a book on marine biology, leaving the cookie book on the display in a haphazard way. He picked up the marine book, flipping through. It had scientific illustrations...his favorite kind. It was like a grown up picture book!

“Can I help you find anything?” a familiar voice asked and when he looked up from his book there Logan was. Still as handsome as the day he saw him. “Oh, ah...Remus. Hello.”

“Howdy, Specs,” Remus grinned, happy this trip hadn’t been for naught. “How’s it going?”

“I’m quite adequate, thank you for asking,” Logan replied, his eyes glancing to the book in Remus’ hand. “That’s an excellent resource, it goes quite in depth on the flora and fauna of the bottom of the sea. Though personally I find all of that unsettling. If marine life is your thing we have lots of books on it.”

Remus almost could have laughed at that. Ah, such a salesman. He noticed Logan had a different tie on today, though it was still in shades of blue, this time a neat dot pattern instead of stripes.

“Maybe next time you’ll have to show me. I think for now I’ll just take this one since it's apparently an excellent resource,” he said, shutting the book. “I was also wondering if I could take you out for some coffee maybe. What time’s your break? I can hang around.”

Logan opened his mouth and closed it again before adjusting his glasses. “I appreciate the offer, Mr. Kingsley, however I have already had my break so I will have to pass. If you’re all set I can ring you up?”

“Yeah, I guess just the book then,” Remus shrugged, slightly shocked by being turned down, but not too discouraged.

As Logan was ringing him up, he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket, a text arriving from ‘Two Face’.

‘You coming today or no?’

Remus typed out a quick reply, watching Logan stick his book in a paper bag after sticking a bookmark between the pages for him.

‘Fnnshng smthng up, b thr soon. You want cffe? Usal?’

His texting was headache inducingly hard to decipher sometimes, but those close enough to get lots of texts from him had figured it out already. He got the buzz and the ‘yes’ as a reply, sliding a twenty over to Logan as payment. He stuck the change in the near empty jar on the counter that read Employee Book Fund with a smiley face under it.

“Thanks for the book, Specs. I’ll be sure to let you know how I like it,” Remus promised, gripping the paper bag in a fist. “Have a good one.”

“Goodbye, Remus,” Logan bid him farewell, motioning for the next guest in line to come forward.

Remus was off to the coffee shop first, getting the two drink orders before heading over to Janus’ house. Oh he had tea...and not just the kind he had just gotten from the coffee shop (because of course Janny drank tea). No, he had to gush all about this bookstore boy that he definitely had a crush on at this point.

TAGLIST:

@theiwatobiicepic

[aromalsula]

After the whole 2 weeks of vadapav and thali

I decided to go for Thane to my Valyamma (mom's elder sister, who inherited all the firm hand from their military father), just to get myself some Kerala fish curry and if lucky some mutton.

I texted my ex-girlfriend to book me a uber since I had debt on ola and uber, from previous ones, and she did, after 20 minutes of her usual cloak and dagger, she got me a cab. And texted me a screenshot of the same. I sat near a tree at the star market with a bottle of Pepsi, while trying not to seek eye contact with a dog sat near me, (no offense, I am afraid of dogs).

After a few minutes, 0541 a grey Datson Go came for me. I kept my backpack at the rear seat and sat in front like I usually do in Mumbai.

Back home I don't get to sit at the front, Dad keeps the front row for him and mom.

I wanted to take a seat a little bit back, the young driver was happy to help me.

The person who booked the cab for me, was on phone with him reading out the OTP, while he was about to cut the call I kind of added a thank you to her, he just laughed to that,

To show my two-year Hindi, I asked him, " ye payment kitna dha ".

Patha nahee m sir, madam ji ne ye online se pay kia dha sir,  he replied with a cheer

While I was thinking that whether I should pay her back, or respect her gratitude, he reminded me about the seatbelt.

Since I didn't have any battery left on my phone after the usual updates and stories on Instagram and Snapchat, I wished to test my Hindi on the young skinny man next to me.

"Aapka Naam kya he bhai ? "

"Kumar sir "

"Acha"

"Ye aapki gaadi he kya "

" Nayi sir , me keval driver hum "

Since I don't exactly knew or understand his Hindi

I am gonna keep this in English.his Paapa’s special Ranchi Chicken.

His name is Kumar, A Ranchi boy, but according to him, he is from MS Dhoni ki Ranchi. Since I was not good geography of India, he explained to me where Ranchi is, Jharkhand, and how Bihar is different, and why Jamshedpur is better.

He is part of a kisani family, Mainly chaval, where only his father is doing farming, while he, his brother, and his sister's husband work in Mumbai,Calcutta, and Jharkhand. His brother stays with his aunt at Calcutta as a helper in their family business, which was something related to the masala. And the sister's husband (Aliyan in Malayalam) was working as a tile mesthiri back in Jharkhand.

He came to Mumbai searching for a job after completing 12th in the science stream, with good marks. He started his earning as a panipuri salesman in some hotel, which he was not so good at, Later so asked one of his friend, a delivery driver to the same hotel, to teach him driving. Kumar was able to learn to drive so fast. After he got his license, the hotel manager himself helped him to get a driving job with a *Setah from Gujarat who owned more than 45 cars.

He loved his new job, where the *Setah only care about the 9000 Rs that Kumar is paying every month. Setah is also kind enough to carry out all the maintenance works.

Kumar is able to help his Paapa to find the money for his elder sister to continue her college education. The only person who went to college after the 12th in his family. He, his brother, his other elder sister( who got married after her 10th standard ) ,Maama, and Paapa is always proud of the college-going sister.

Kumar is the youngest, when I asked him “ tho thu chotta he ? “ he replied “Ha Sir me he Chottu” with a laugh.

On our journey there were a lot of laughs, we shared our criticism against the Mumbai Police, and the traffic, How panipuri tastes better in any place rather than Mumbai, and the fact that you can get a fish curry meal for 30 rs in Calcutta.

He had a lot to talk about when he was talking about his Paapa, that how he loved having a dog around him, and his love for his five cows at home, his sorrow that none of his sons are at home to help him with his farming. And the love story which ended in marrying from one of the prominent families in his village.

Talking about love, Kumar has a love in Calcutta, whom he met whenever he visited his brother there. A Bengali girl, that Kumar’s sisters only know. When I asked him, if he spends his free time on the phone with his, Bengali girl, he replied me “No. And that he needs to be successful in his career, first.

Kumar being in his 20’s already had a plan to set out his career, that he had a passion for business, and that he wants to start a business in his village, again something related to the masala, I didn’t get his business, but I wished him all the best.

He was happy to share with me his love for Kerala, which included stories about Nariyal Pani, a mallu passenger he dropped off at Andheri, and a front who works in a tire company in Kerala. Also, he was so grateful when I offered him a stay if he ever wants to visit Kerala.

The Ranchi Guy had his passion for cricket and Dhoni. When asked about Dhoni, he went the same as when he was talking about his paapa, He was so obsessed with Dhoni that he wants Dhoni to be the Chief Minister of Jharkhand.

I kind of loved his innocence. Well we both agreed on one thing that both of us who knew every playing eleven of

India, till there was Dhoni and Yuvaraj playing. And the fact that now we don’t.

When the ride ended, he told me with a laugh that “ Sir Madam ji ne ye cash me add Kiya dhaa, apko pay Karne chahiye. I couldn’t resist my laugh too, I paid him online, and he asked me for a photo. I was happy to take it, I took his number and told him that I will pay a visit to his marriage, and will surely come for his Paapa's special Ranchi chicken.

[joshslater]

Russian Dolt Multiverse

Continuation of Russian Dolt. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

Russian history in four words: then things got worse. Russian story in four worlds:

Universe Один

My first thought was to get a bucket of ice, but I doubt this hotel has an ice machine, and I didn’t really care to put on any clothes just to find out. I walked into the bathroom and let the shower run on the coldest setting. After a minute I had to resign to it not being any cooler, this is the Philippines after all, and begun showering my cock and balls. Who is stupid enough to buy a solid, metal cock ring in the first place? If it wasn’t bad enough cock and ball torture to have a ring on for so many hours, though no idea exactly how many, having it doused in cold water certainly added to the sensory experience. At first nothing happened, but once the ring itself was coming down in temperature I started to see movement, and then it went quickly. The pain when the blood started moving properly was something otherworldly. I’ve had the odd sleeping leg from surfing to much while on the toilet, but this was that times thousand.

I cranked the temperature back up again and just stood there and soaked in the shower, trying to think about as little as possible. When I started to feel like a person again, albeit one who needed a smoke, I realized I should try to freshen up best I could. I’d already ruined some of it by showering hot before using soap, trapping much of the scent of cum and sweat in the pores that had now shut closed by the expanding skin. I still did an attempt using the dinky hotel soap. Shampoo would be pointless, looking like this. When I came to soaping my ass I paused. It didn’t feel right, like my anus was protruding a little. I didn’t hurt though, so I just assumed it was a side effect of the night’s adventure and would sort itself given time.

There wasn’t much to wear, and less I wanted to wear in the room. I found a bottle of body spray and a slightly distressed black T-shirt, that I combined with the jeans and the flip flops from the day before. I didn’t know how long I had the room for, if it was paid in advance, or anything, so I took another look around the room and saw nothing I would miss. The ear studs might be worth something, so I kept them on, and I pocketed the mysterious ring, but everything else I left in the room with the full knowledge it might all have been thrown out by the time I got back.

I really wanted to inhale as deep and as fast as possible, but I forced myself to savor the cigarette I lit as soon as I entered the street. It felt healthier, though it probably was at least as bad. But then the streets in Manila isn’t all that great for lung health either. I had started to walk with no particular goal in mind, but decided to at least have a look at my old hotel. Not because I had any hope of finding anything useful there, but I just didn’t have anything else to do.

With no clear memory of the way, no cellphone to guide and no money to be driven, it took more than an hour to get back. As I’m closing in on the hotel I see someone in my peripheral that looks familiar. Turn and see the hulking body of Boris lumbering towards my destination. He is marginally better dressed than last I saw him, and is carrying a canvas bag. We are quite far apart, and I saw him first, but as soon as he sees me he stops walking. He is just standing there for a good ten seconds, after which he turns and walk the other direction. I want to run up to him and ask him what the fuck they have done with my body, but he is too far away and I’m too damaged after the night’s events. Fuck! Perhaps he was returning to pick something up? I saw no reason to change my plan.

It was fully morning by now, and someone from the bell service at the hotel walked up to me as soon as I entered the lobby, asking if they could help. That was code for “you don’t belong”. I told him I know which room to get to, and thanked my luck this hotel didn’t require any key card for the elevator.

I was somehow hesitant, standing outside my old hotel door. The longer I waited, longer it would take until my fears were confirmed. I made a soft knock on the door.

Nothing happened.

I make a more forceful knock on the door.

As I open my eyes the light hurts. I hear a thud against the door. I look around and see the hotel room I checked in to two days ago. The bed is made, but someone has clearly been lying on it. To my left, on a small table, is a line of small, empty mini bar bottles. I’m just about to scratch my forehead when the faint chime-like rattle of chains made me look at the cuff around my wrist. It takes a moment to click that I am in my body again. My real body.

There is a knock on the door. Unsteadily I walk towards the door and open it. On the other side is Mikhail, rubbing his head. “You could knock first, remove ring not first. Not opposite order.”

The ring! “I removed the ring in your hotel room. Nothing happened.”

“Ah.” Mikhail nodded, and then waved his hand toward the mini bar empties. “Doesn’t work unless both are conscious. I got bored.” He stood still for a bit. “You was not bored. Was good?”

“да“

Universe Два

The rattle of key in keyhole snaps me out of my self pity, and in panic I dive into the bed sheets, only to immediately be reminded of why they are damp and sticky. I hope I can scare away room service before she realizes what a mess the room is in. But the door doesn’t swing open to reveal a tiny Asian lady. Instead a huge German wearing a tank top that barely contain his muscles confidently walks into the room. He carries a few different plastic shopping bags in his large hands. As soon as he sees me his serious face gets brighter with a smile.

“So, you are awake, ja. Schlept gut?” “да, but am sore all over.” “Entschuldigung, but I wanted to be back before you awake, but I got late. I saw your big friend from the bar.” “You met Boris?” “No, I saw him. He was taken by police. Don’t know why. Do you?”

Was this in any way related to me, or why I wasn’t swapping back to my body? Perhaps by just talking to the police this would all be sorted. Or perhaps they are really after Mikhail, and for all practical purposes I am him now. I could be shot before the end of the day.

“No. No idea.” “Gut”

He was smiling again, as he placed the bags on the small table and pulled the sheet that covered me.

“Oh, mein Gott. Your dick color. Hurts, ja?” “Yes. Hurts.”

He dove into one of the bags and pulled out some sort of medicinal cream tube, and a condom pack. He ripped open the condom pack, and used the condom as a glove, squeezed a large dollop of the gel from the tube onto my dick, and started to carefully cover it all with the condomed hand. Working quickly he then moved down and did the same to my balls. “Move less” he said, as if I didn’t understand my squirming made things difficult for him. The pain was however disappearing quickly. “It’s Anästhetikum. Makes it hurt less.”

He then tossed the condom in the trash bucket, grabbed another bag and picked out a few cans of beers and two cups from the top, and placed them on the night stand. Next he picked up a bag of ice, wet with condensation from the humidity. He tore it open, grabbed a fistful of ice, and cupped my dick and balls with it. Amazingly I didn’t feel a thing, except the cold water against my thighs. Only a minute or so later he dunked the remains of the ice in the plastic cups, and I could feel him slipping my dick, and then my nut sack, out of the ring. He put the ring down on the nightstand as well.

“So. You should feel again in one or two hour. Now bier.”

He opened one of the cans and poured into the cups with ice. Dark and foamy. “Bayerisches Bier” he proclaimed proudly, handing me a cup. He emptied his without waiting and promptly refilled it. “Wait for ice to it cool, ja.”

I carefully tasted my beer. It was strong in flavor, high in proof, and cold enough with so much ice in such a small cup. I realized that his eyes were glued on me. Suddenly he lept forward and kissed my mouth forcefully, making me spill half my cup of beer. I managed to put the cup back on the nightstand and wrapped my arms around my German. He kissed me close to asphyxiation before he pulled away. “I want you to move in, ja. Stay in my place.” That came completely unexpected, but I knew I wanted nothing more, just as he said it. What good was a nice apartment if you never saw it? I had enjoyed living as a lone, travelling salesman, but this right here was passion. In a way the choice had already been made for me. With this new body I couldn’t go back to the life I knew.

“I am happy to.” I answered. He noticed that my dick had perked up again, despite what it had been through. He carefully touched it, and I winced. It was bruised and raw, but I still hadn’t cum all night. He stroke my body, and my chin and then got up from the bed. Slowly he stepped out of his camo cargo shorts and his jockstrap, revealing his large, erect cock. He grabbed both my legs and carefully, almost tenderly, moved me towards him and inserted his dick into my abused ass.

Lying on my back our eyes were locked, as he slowly begun to gyrate his hips, moving his dick head back and forth over my prostate. I wanted to resist, but he had obviously set a goal to have me cum as soon as possible. To have my decision sealed not in blood, but in cum. I had been teased all night and it didn’t take much to splatter my body up to my neck in my own cum.

Universe три

I didn’t know what else to expect from the day, so I savored the coffee. Coffee and cigarette is such a cliche, but I’ve never been a smoker before. When I tried smoking in school once I hadn’t yet tasted coffee. But now everything made so much sense. One might argue I shouldn’t spend my last cash on a coffee, but I would argue there is no point saving such small amounts.

With the cup completely dry, it was time to figure out what to do next. The hotel wasn’t far off. I’d seen it while looking for a place to affordably drink a coffee. The hotel wasn’t one such place though , so I found this little cafe to have a calm moment before facing reality. The hot and humid air hit me as soon as I exit the cool cafe and walk the block down to the hotel.

As I enter the hotel lobby there is a weird vibe. A few guests are scattered around, and mostly ignores me, but the staff is pretending to not stare. I guess I am out of place, looking the way I do.

I take the elevator to my floor. As I exit I immediately see one of the cleaning carts from the room service standing by my door. Shit. I should have tried to come earlier, before they erased all clues. As I get closer I see the door opposite my room is opened, and my door handle still has a “Do not disturb” sign on it. I sigh a slight relief and knock on the door.

It takes just a second and the door swung in, and before I had a chance to see who was opening it something hit me in the back, pushing me tumbling forward. Someone grabbed my shoulders slowed my fall from totally crashing into the floor. There was something pushing hard on my back, just below the neck. I could feel my arms pulled together, and then cuffed. People were talking Filipino, a radio squeaked, someone was pressing something against my fingers, and I could only see boots and tactical trousers.

Just as I started to comprehend that the police had me arrested, I was lifted to my feet and pushed out of the room. Two police men were marching me towards the elevator, down through the lobby and out into a waiting police car. I asked “What is happening?”, “Where are you taking me?” and similar questions with obvious and useless answers, until one of them told me to shut up

We sat in silence in the car for what felt like 20 minutes, when finally a plain clothes officer approached the car. The driver lowered the window, and I assume for my benefit, the plain cloths officer spoke in English.

“It’s him. His fingerprints are all over the cuffs.”

Universe четыре

I was utterly confused when I woke up in a hotel bed, but then memories started trickle in. The body swap. I clearly was still in Mikhail’s body, I knew, because I could feel it. I felt sore. Wait, why was I still in Mikhail’s body? Looking around I could see I was in the bed in his shitty hotel room, no German to be found. I got up while the whole body was screaming in agony. The bed sheets were pretty much ruined with semen and other fluids. What a mess. My head throbbed with a hangover worse than I have ever experienced before. I stumbled over to the mirror.

Young, muscled, and well-hung were the bright side of what I saw. Everything else I saw in the mirror disgusted me, even more now than when I swapped into it yesterday. I was naked except for the thumb ring and a cock ring. The dick and balls looked bruised, a dangerously purple color. I tentatively touched the dick and pleasure tinged pain shot through my body. It was swollen and had a dull ache, but a small part of me even wanted to play with this dick some more, as I was still horny as fuck. I didn’t remember cumming. I didn’t even dare to think about the agony it would be to remove that cock ring. My thoughts went to the other ring. I’ve had enough of this. It was time to end this experience, exciting as it might have been.

I removed the ring.

Immediately I looked down at my face. It had the wrong color. The mouth was open, the eyes bloodshot and the chain from the handcuff was wrapped around the throat. In horror I let go of the chain and stepped away from the body. It looked dead. The neck looked weird, as if the chain had broken something inside of it.

I stumbled, hit a desk, and almost cried out. The body was unfamiliar and bulky. I looked into the mirror on the wall above the desk. Staring back at me was the Russian brick shithouse made of meat, Boris.

The sensation was completely different from Mikhail, and not just in the obvious way of being taller and beefier, or the lack of bruising from a night of rough sex. There were no cravings to smoke or drink. This guy must have treated himself well, but then you don’t get a body like this if your don’t.

The irony of that thought made me chuckle out loud. I hadn’t done anything to get his body. Why was I in it? I removed the leather glove and looked at my hand. One of those rings were on the thumb. I look at my dead body’s hand. No ring. Whatever he had been up to, he had managed to swap me into his body and probably him into Mikhail’s body.

I started to feel dread. Whatever reason he had for doing this was not going to be good for me, I felt. I needed to leave the hotel right away. I resisted the urge to take any of my belongings with me. Clothes were worthless, phone and computer could probably be tracked. I didn’t really have any money in the wallet, just cards, and any use of them could also be tracked.

There was a canvas bag on the floor I didn’t recognize. I picked it up and exited the room. There were no cameras in the corridor that I could see. I took the stairs on floor down, put the gloves in the bag. Then I took the elevator down to the lobby and tried my best to look as calm as possible while walking out. In my mind I was screaming “I didn’t murder myself, it was this body.”

Not far from the hotel I saw a cafe, and apparently I had plenty of cash in my wallet, so I decided for a coffee. Only a few sips in I could tell this body wasn’t used to that, and I was in for a massive shit within the hour. Let’s add that to the list of problems. If it isn’t the police that will get me, it is whatever Boris was running from.