#i am not moving to another social media they are all horrible

[watchthirdlife]

im going to be so honest folks this is not really a 'hiatus' as i have no intention of ever coming back to tumblr more often than once a month. one post a month is the most you're gonna get until the end of time

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

I Want Forever

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Gif credit goes to @londonharry (So sorry! I don’t normally use gifs so I forgot to give credit!)

Summary- Harry and Y/N broke up early into Love On Tour. Harry struggled to truly move on, as did Y/N. With tour over, a lost soul shows up at Y/N’s door one night, ready for forever.

Warnings- angst, smooshiness, you may cry

>>>————————->

September 2021

“Y/N, love, please! I haven’t seen you in weeks! Can’t you take just a bit of time off to come to my next show?”

I sigh into the phone and shake my head, knowing full well he can’t see me.

“Harry, you know I can’t! I’m swamped with school! I skipped 4 assignments and took zeroes for them when I was with you last! This is my future-.”

“And what about our future?! I told you! I want a life with you! You don’t need to be working this hard! You don’t even need to work!”

I scoff and bite my lip.

“Harry, you know I won’t! My career is important! This is what I’m working so hard for! I want to work and I want to be somebody! Not just a pop star’s girlfriend! You’re always gone. If you can’t drop your career for me then you shouldn’t ask me to drop mine for you. I thought you understood that..?”

My heart breaks more and more as he sighs into the phone.

“So that’s it then? You’re just… You’re giving up on us?”

“Harry-.”

“No, no, don’t bother. We should just end it before it gets worse for either of us. I hope things work out for you, Y/N.”

He hangs up and with that, I breakdown. I cry and I cry, praying that this was just a nightmare. But I knew he was right. And without Harry… I could focus…

July 2023

It had been a long week. In fact, it had been a long few years. After the break up, I distanced myself a lot. I got off of social media and threw myself into finishing school and eventually, entered, I got my dream job.

As much as I love helping kids, the ones that are like me and the ones that struggle worse, it breaks my heart. After the break up, I got myself back into therapy to cope.

While I am no longer spiraling, the pain is still there. I never tried to get my things. I never made contact again. I just ran. I ran from everything.

After another long, emotional day of work, I stumble into my apartment and crash on my couch. After giving myself a few moments to scream my frustrations into the couch cushion, I get up and make myself a light dinner before getting some extra work done.

I park myself down at the coffee table with a glass of white wine and a frozen dinner, turning my attention to my laptop when there’s a knock at the door. I glare curiously at the door and hesitantly get up, making my way to the door.

I hesitantly open it and my mouth drops when I see who’s on the other side of the door.

“Harry…”

He looks in my eyes, his face sullen.

“Y/N…”

Before I can really think, I try to close the door but I hear a small ‘ow’ from the other side of the door. I look down and see Harry’s foot in the door. I sigh and let it go, opening it again. He looks at me and pulls his foot back.

“Can we… Can we talk?”

I fold my arms and frown.

“We don’t have anything to talk about. Now if you’ll excuse me-.”

“Y/N, please! Just- Just hear me out!”

He steps forward and I take a step back as he backs me into my apartment and closes the door.

“There’s nothing left to say, Harry. I’ve made my peace. Obviously you have too. So you should just go-.”

He places his hands on my arms and looks into my eyes.

“Y/N, you’re all I’ve thought about since we broke up… I have missed you so.. So much, love. And I know I was horrible to you and I will never forgive myself for that. But I can’t- I need you, Y/N. I can’t take one more day without you…”

Tears well up in my eyes and I shake my head.

“You can’t just come back into my life and say that! You were the one that ended things Harry, you! I supported you through everything! And you couldn’t support me?! My career is important to me! School was important! You were important!”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down before I continue.

“I shouldn’t have to choose between them! And you made the choice for me! And you, you moved on! Multiple times! I-.”

Harry shakes his head, tears spilling down his soft cheeks.

“That’s not true! I- I couldn’t… It was hard, Y/N! I-I made a mistake… I tried to move on but I just couldn’t.. I missed you Y/N. I miss you. And.. I just want you back. I-I know I don’t deserve you, even after all I’ve done… But I just can’t let you go. I refuse to let you go without a fight.”

Before I can say anything, Harry moves to his knees and he takes me hands, forcing me to look down at him.

“Harry-.”

He pulls out a ring box, his hands shaking as tears continue to spill down his cheeks.

“Just.. Hear me out. The last two years, I have done nothing but berate myself for chasing you away. No matter how I tried to move on, you were always on my mind. 3 years. You were with me from the start. And I wasn’t there for you like I should’ve been-.”

I attempt to pull him up and he shakes his head.

“Just wait. Please just let me finish… I made a mistake Y/N… But I don’t want to make another… Please… Y/N L/N… Will you marry me? Will you let be make it up to you? I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never feel like you have to choose. I’ll support you and I’ll-.”

I begin to cry and I drop to my knees as I sob. Harry drops the ring box and takes my cheeks in his hands, wiping my tears away with his thumb as he makes me look at him. His expression softens though his eyes remain teary, and he gives me a small smile.

“I am so, so sorry my love. I will spend every day making sure you know just how much I love you. And I know have a lot to make up for but please.”

I sigh and close my eyes for a minute. I take a deep breath before opening them again.

“Yes… I’ll marry you, Harry.”

His eyes light up and he opens his mouth to speak but I place my finger on his lips, stopping him.

“But I have a few conditions. These past couple years haven’t been easy. For the first few months… I couldn’t stand even hearing your name-… I want to go to therapy. You and me. Couples counseling. And- I want to take some time to heal… You coming back is putting salt in old wounds.”

He lets go of my cheeks and looks down, his sides dropping. I sigh and despite my better judgment, I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him. His eyes widen for a moment before he sinks into the kiss, deepening it. After a minute or so, I pull away and Harry looks into my eyes.

“I want you to listen to me, okay?”

He’s quiet for a second before he nods, gesturing me to continue.

“You made a mistake. And you’re owning up to it. I want to be with you Harry, I do. But I think we need to spend some time working through things together before we tie the not.”

He’s quiet for a moment before I hear him grab something off the floor.

“So… Does that mean you don’t want to wear the ring yet?”

I let out a small snort and shake my head. I pull away from him and hold my right hand out to him.

“No, gimmie that! I had been waiting for that! But it does mean that you’ll have to wait a little longer before you can marry me.”

He smiles and slips the ring on my finger and picks me up, twirling me around in his arms as I laugh.

It won’t be easy, but I want forever, and I want it with him.

>>>—————->

I hope you enjoyed lovelies! I would definitely be open to writing more for them!!! Requests are closed for now, until I catch up, but I will let you know when they’re open again!

Tag List

@be-with-me-so-happily @swiftmendeshoran @babyiamperfectforyou @freedomfireflies @kaminokatie @harrysmimi @violetsandfluff @fruitmans @fruitmansrecs @strwbrrydaydreams @rafaaoli @kimmi-kat @erggggggggg

[nimrochan]

No disrespect, and I want to say that jewish people should absolutely be safe and feel welcome and happy everywhere in the world. But how can you talk positively about moving to Israel, paying taxes to a government, that has been confirmed to have killed 13.000 children? Do you not see an issue with moving to a state that has been determined by the ICJ to be committing a genocide right now?

Thank you for your question. I’ll do my best to answer this as an Israeli-American with a more inside perspective than most people who haven’t been in the area.

Incoming novel.

First off, I encourage you to read my pinned post.

Second, I believe Israel is a tiny country that as being held to an impossible standard. The situation there is very unique and I ask you to not compare it to others.

(I promise I’m going somewhere with this) in the past ten years, half a million Syrians and half a million Yemenis died in civil war in what I think are actual genocides. Millions more are refugees. China forcibly puts its Muslim citizens in “re-education” camps, another form of cruelty and cultural genocide. There are other genocides actually happening in Congo and Darfur and other places. There are humanitarian crises in Arab countries regarding the horrific treatments of women. And in North Korea, the situation has always been dire - it contains a concentration camp the size of Rhodes island.

This leads me to ask- why is the hate for Israel so widespread and deep? I’ve never seen protests addressing these aforementioned issues so passionately. I almost NEVER see them addressed on social media. I have never seen Russian, Chinese, Afghani people etc in places OUTSIDE of their countries being harassed to the extent that Jews and Israelites are. Jews outside of Israel have been harassed and attacked, some have even been murdered. Our synagogues and graveyards have been vandalized. Thousands, maybe tens of thousands of people openly march for our deaths rather than to condemn terrorism or condemn far more horrible governments. I can only come to the conclusion that it’s antisemitism. It’s not a coincidence that the only Jewish country in the world a) has such a microscope over it, b) is one of the most terrorized countries in the world, and c) has so much widely-accepted misinformation regarding it. Including the whole “white colonizer” narrative - most Israelis are brown.

The UN has a history of not accepting Israel as a country and disregarding the years of constant terrorism against it. It has not acknowledged 10/07. The voters of the ICJ include Bashar Al Assad who is the president of Syria. Yes that same Syria that kills its own people. Another voter is from China. Same China with countless human rights violations. Another voter whose name escapes me now made motions to deny humanitarian crises in other Arab countries. So between the UN and the ICJ voters, the parties are extremely biased and ignore far worse issues. So I am not going to take them seriously. I hope you ask yourself what else may have skewed your perspective on the war, if such big international organizations are demonstrably biased.

Genocide is done with intent. In the last 50 years, the Palestinian population has grown FASTER than the world’s Jewish population. I can tell you first hand, as someone with many family members who have served in the IDF, and who knows how strong the Israeli military is - genocide is not, has never been, and will never be the intention of Israel. If it WANTED to commit genocide, I guarantee you that absolutely far more Palestinians would have been slaughtered and I would tear up my passport in that case.

When the LEADERS of a county cross a border into ANOTHER country, unprovoked, and personally slaughter and rape thousands of civilians, that is genocide and that is declaring war. It’s a very small scale genocide, but technically it is. If you read the charter of Gaza, it actually states the goal of killing all Jews. Hamas killed the maximum number of Israelis that was in their power at the time. Including people that my own family were close to.

Growing up in Israel, among some Arabs, I can tell you that no one EVER taught me to hate Arabs. In fact they taught us Arabic in school along with English. All street signs are in English, Hebrew, and Arabic. Meanwhile across the border, their government put guns in kids’ hands and teach them that Jews are pigs. And I don’t think they’re considerate enough to put any of their public signs in Hebrew.

You can see pictures online of Hamas dressing up their kids as child soldiers.

I don’t know if you ever saw the footage of Hamas driving around Gaza with dead bodies after the 10/07 attack and many Gazan civilians celebrating and dancing with their kids and handing out candies, mutilating the bodies further. Look up Shani Louk.

While a handful of Israelis are openly racist (just like there are racists everywhere else on the planet), you will NEVER see something this horrific on Israeli streets. NEVER.

Obviously, not all Gazan civilians are this heinous and nobody should be punished for where they were born (and anti-Israelis are lost on the irony of calling all Israelis kid-murdering genocide-lovers who deserved what happened to them including rape and infantacide). But I want you to ask yourself, If this was My country, how would they respond? I don’t think Israel is responding WORSE than America or other strong countries would. Again that leads me to ask why the hate is out of proportion even for their strong response.

The Ministry of Health in Gaza reports that about 30-40K casualties by Israel. Now that organization is run by… Hamas. But okay, I’m willing to believe that number. I’m willing to believe that that number is double. And I’m extremely saddened by innocent Gazans suffering because of the carelessness and evil of their leaders. But let’s look at the number for now.

Israel reports that about 17,000 of the people killed in Gaza are Hamas militants. That leaves a civilian-combatant ratio of 1:1.2 - 1:2. That’s… average for war. For a dense urban area like Gaza? That is LOW. That does not fit the definition of genocide. It is war, and it sucks, but it’s not genocide.

As for children dying - We do not yet know exactly the number of children who are militants. A baby is counted as a child, but so are the 15-17 year old child soldiers that Hamas recruits. So now the line is blurring.

Not to mention, Hamas has been caught altering birth dates on records of dead Gazans to bring their ages down. Some 18-year-olds are falsely reported as being 17 at death to falsely increase the numbers of killed children on paper.

To go a little off topic, Al Jazeera has also been caught numerous times censoring Gazans criticizing Hamas and reporting biased news. Heck they even reported the rape and murder of my people as “a necessary step.” Look up Howidy Hamza, a Palestinian reporter who talks about Hamas. Hamas is unbelievably cruel to their own people. Yet protests in the US and around the world praise them.

Let’s go back to Israel being the most terrorized country in the world behind Somalia. Do you know what’s going on in Somalia? Of course probably not - another crisis largely ignored by the world because it’s not as exciting or interesting.

Again I grew up in Israel. In the 90’s there was a rash of suicide bombings on buses by the PLO, so I remember avoiding buses as a child out of fear. I also remember waiting in line with my family to get free gas masks because Saddam Hussein once threatened biological warfare on us. Fun times.

I went back to visit in 2015 - this time, a trend of Palestinian civilians in Israel randomly stabbing Jews or running over them or throwing rocks at them. Some Palestinian teens threw rocks into traffic and killed a 2-year old.

And in the past 20 years at least, Hamas and OTHER parties have been sending rockets into Israel. Into civilian areas. Do you think that’s normal? Do you think it’s normal to have apps to alert you to rockets and to have so many bomb shelters? Have you ever spoken to a relative overseas and heard rockets in the background while on the phone with them?

Do you know how many hundreds of thousands of us would be dead if it weren’t for the iron dome?

EDITED TO ADD: Israel responds to rocket fire to destroy the source, because the iron dome is not perfect and CONTINUED firing eventually harms Israeli civilians. Yes, Hamas makes sure to fire rockets from Gazan civilian areas. Another note I want to bring up - I don’t know how many Gazans are displaced currently, I have a hard time finding a nonbiased source, but I would guess around 750K - 1.2 million. If they are displaced RATHER then killed, that’s another contradiction to calling this war a genocide.

Do you know why Gaza has received billions of dollars in aid over the years - enough to turn it into a living paradise - only for Hamas to use it to build underground tunnels and rockets for the purpose of attacking a country that has NEVER in its history attacked first or started any wars? (Yes, believe it or not, Israel has never STARTED a war since its inception).

The other problem with Gaza is Hamas intentionally having military targets under densely populated areas. When Israel warns civilians to leave, via leaflets or alerts, many times Hamas threatens them to stay and become martyrs. On top of it, they dress as civilians and recruit children, and fire rockets from refugee camps and apartment buildings and schools and hospitals. This is neither legal nor ethical warfare.

Israel does not, has never put military targets near civilian, nor does the IDF recruit children or dress as civilians. That’s a bare minimum.

I won’t deny that members of the IDF have done shitty things, just like the American army and other armies around the world have probably done, but if I had to choose between the country with the military that wants me dead and Israel… yeah. At least rape and other torture are ILLEGAL for the IDF. Meanwhile Hamas continues to freely rape hostages as I type this. Because they make the laws there.

Yes Israel cares more about its own citizens than foreign citizens like Gaza, but again, that’s no more evil than other normal countries.

To address another stereotype about Israel being a racist and apartheid state - there are two million Arab Israelis living peacefully there. There are Arab countries who hold peace treaties with Israel.

So you tell me in your ask, Jews should be safe and welcomed around the world. The sentiment is appreciated, but this is not the case with reality, sadly. There is NO population of 2 million Jews in any other middle eastern country. Many of us left for Israel due to severe oppression. There are no more Jews in Yemen for example. My grandfather left for Israel from his home in Lebanon because some officials wanted him dead. Why? For committing the crime of smuggling Jews through Lebanon to escape the Holocaust.

My grandparents on my mother’s side escaped post-war Poland because of violent lingering antisemitism.

They would have had NOWHERE to go without Israel.

And we are NOT safe outside of Israel or even in Israel because of the intense hatred. We have been scapegoats for society’s problems for thousands of years and I don’t see it improving any time soon.

How can I talk positively about Israel? It’s the most liberal and progressive country in the Middle East. It’s the only country where it’s legal and safe to be openly gay for example, and it’s the only country there that holds annual pride.

It’s a middle eastern country where I, as a secular woman, can dress how I want, marry who I want, get abortions if I needed, own property, own money, have a prestigious job, and *checks notes* drive.

It’s also the only Jewish country in the world. It’s the place I’ve felt the safest and happiest, surrounded by my own people and family and sometimes I wish my parents and I never left, because I am personally feeling the antisemitism when I march peacefully and get nasty comments, or when I lose long time close friends left and right for being a “genocidal Zionist”, or when I see antisemitic graffiti and signs everywhere I walk.

My taxes in Israel would pay for hospitals that treat people from all around the world including Palestinian children for free. It would pay for the iron dome that keeps my family safe.

My taxes in America have been used to oppress women, and for horrific military actions, etc. and America itself is LITERALLY built on colonial genocide and the backs of slaves. Slightly related, most of North Africa was colonized by Arabs who ran a larger slave trade than the US. I’ve never learned that in school! I’ve never seen anyone talk about that! I’ve never seen Americans or Arabs in other countries get attacked for these things (to be fair, I’m very aware of the racism Arabs and Muslims did feel in the US after 9/11 and I absolutely condemn it).

This same America also lifted sanctions on Iran, allowing it to spare money to give to Hamas to buy weapons and slaughter my people to start this fucking war.

So you ask why I’m saving money to eventually move to Israel from America? I hope I’ve answered as thoroughly as I can. You can go ahead and fact check me through non- biased media. And go ahead and look up “list of terrorist attacks on Israel” while you’re at it too. I’d rather face rockets than continue to live in a country that lets antisemitism (and mass shootings for that matter) run rampant.

[typhea]

✮﹒❄️﹐RANDOM CHARACTERS + ‘CAN’T REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU’

﹐♡﹒featuring : multiple characters ♡

﹐♡﹒infos : toxicity, angst, heavy manipulation/brainwashing, threatening, gn!reader, heavy guilt tripping, corruption.

﹐♡﹒summary : type of toxic ex they are..

THE ‘ I’M THE VICTIM ’ EX

midoriya izuku, yuji itadori, todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, arlelt armin, kyoka jirou, uraraka ochako, hinata shoyo.

literally brainwash you that it’s your fault and they’re hurt.

calls you every night, when they probably drunk and tells you how much they miss you.

“ y/n, you were so horrible to me. you crushed my feelings, but i’ll forgive you anything ‘cause i love you.”

will dramatise everything like, getting off social medias, staying home all day, just to get your attention.

will send people to get you to come back, he makes you look bad in front of your friends. “they are nice to you! why would you do that, just get back with them.”

faking their depression to get you back, and literally go insane when it doesn’t work.

“look what you’ve done to me.”

100% cry in front of you to coax you.

“i did really bad things to myself because of you, only you can heal me.”

lies, lies, lies. all for your attention.

THE ‘YOU NEED ME’ EX

bakugo katsuki, yaoyorozu momo, sero hanta, kurapika, gojo satoru, neito monoma, aizawa shota, takami keigo, kuroo tetsuro.

always up to date on your new relationships, texts you that it won’t work.

"you call that moving on? they look like me, but they’ll never be me."

so confident you will come back.

most of the time, they are the reason why your relationships don’t work. threatening your partner? yes.

you cry in their arms when one of your relationship ends, they just hug you and whisper :

“i told you baby, nobody loves you but me okay?”

will remind you your flaws and red flags, just to end their sentence with “but i still love you, isn’t that amazing?”

don’t even act like you’re their ex.

literally corrupts you, makes your brain theirs.

makes you chase them.

THE ‘ME OR NOBODY’ EX

amajiki tamaki, midoriya izuku, chisaki kai, tsukishima kei, tendou satori, kamo choso, kasumi miwa, springer connie, kirstein jean, toga himiko.

also called crazy ex, the one that stalks you.

harass you with begging texts. you blocked them? they will get another phone.

“y/n you can’t do this to me.. please come back”

impulsive and jealous, they will beat up anyone they see you with or hack any thirsty person commenting on your insta post.

goes insane when you get a new partner.

literally screams at you in voicemails, thinks you’re theirs.

“you can’t cheat on me! y/n, i know you’re faking it just to make me mad, i’ll show you how mad i am.”

shows up at your place at random times, it’s either to cry at your feet or threaten you to come back.

literally couldn’t believe theirs ears when you broke up with them, went feral.

you’re their whole world, they are literally nothing without you, they will find a way to keep you whether you want it or not.

thanks for reading darlin! don’t forget to like and leave a comment :)

m.list | request here!

[rambrandt-the-painter]

how do you recommend building up a following as an artist? i'm still fairly new to posting on social media with my work, and am wondering how you got to where you are! love your work btw <3

I think the biggest piece of advice I have is to make things that are conceptually interesting and stand out from the crowd.

The reason I think people enjoy my work is probably 40% execution and 60% concept. There are a lot of extremely skilled artists out there and from a marketting stand point you aren't going to win people's attention by being a skilled artist unless you're genuinely exceptional, but also you don't really do anything to enrich people's lives by showing them the same things they've already seen.

Another note is to keep moving. People say that you should continue drawing the same subjects but I think that's horrible advice if followed too strictly. If you want to stick to one subject you should iterate and expand on it so your audience gets something novel and you don't stagnate creatively.

To use jolene as an example not all the art I've made of her is the best on a technical level but the concept of a Victorian alligator lady is ironic with the two subjects put together that contrast and as a whole lend themselves well to themes that my mostly genderqueer audience would connect with like how others perceive us and gender performance (of course people might not recognize this consciously but that doesn't mean it won't resonate) plus her design is visually compelling because of the oddball combination of elements

Then from there since I love drawing her and people seem interested in her I expand on her and explore her as a character a little but more and draw her in different scenarios and styles and compositions

Of course I don't really know how to build an audience effectively I don't really believe anyone does but at the very least I think this is the way you need to think to make your art compelling to people online.

Anyone else is free to add on with what they do to get an audience but those are all my current thoughts on it

[bwbawa]

hello, so I'm questioning if I'm autistic so i can reach out for a diagnosis maybe, and i saw another person do this so i wanted to try it out

i wrote a list of some of the things i think that are autistic traits about me and if anyone would like to please read them and tell me if they could be autism or maybe smth else? lol, just as a big favour really. I'll give more context if any is needed, thanks so much!!

also please reblog for reach if you want to, thank you

ts bellow the cut :]

- stimming ( twirling and braiding hair, used to suck on my own hair as a kid, rocking back and forth, doing ??? weird stuff with ny mouth and fingers lol, moving legs a lot)

- echolalia; internal, repeating phrases and songs on my head, but also doing sounds with my mouth

- always feeling like an outsider. This wasn't bad for me as a kid since i was very into creepypastas and media related to being an outcast, i never related it to something bad until adolescence which im still in, and I'm more insecure now about it.

- also, very extroverted as a kid, didn't get social cues and was offensive sometimes

- couldn't and still can't control my strength very well ( sometimes things fall out of my hands or i touch someone harder than i wanted to)

- sensitive skin, to heat cold and pain

- very talkative, as a baby was LITERALLY born babbling

- not good at eye contact, either do way too much or way too little

- terrible at maths (jst not logical to me??? dk how people find them logical )

- kinda restrictive interests but no special interests

- very picky as a child, fav foods were salted noodles with ketchup or by themselves. ( still can't stand some foods and mixing some foods together )

- horrible coordination and balance: didn't learn to tie my shoes correctly, how to ride a bike or how to swim, i bought wheelies and cant use them because my balance is horrible, i run weird (like a baby kind of) and I'm always stumbling on my own feet

- again, didn't learn some stuff until grown: didn't know how to shower correctly or make my bed ( could be due to being very taken care of as a kid, aka my mom didn't let me do stuff by myself )

- terrible spacial awareness: again, stumbling with my own feet, waddling like a penguin when i walk with my friends lol

- bad perception of time

- got upset when things didn't go my way

- ran away when kids were being too loud but didn't mind big performances loud spaces

loud THUDS or sudden noises however startle me, scare me and stress me out: was and still am kind of afraid of balloons, shouting people and loud thuds. As a baby i cried when someone spoke too loudly

- lately I'm much more sensitive to stimuli than i was, could be due to heightened stress in my life: badly done beds make me want to cry, crumbs on the bed feel like hell, heat and sweating are hell, some months ago i cried because my sunglasses and headphones weren't working and there were too many sounds, my head it hurted and everything felt wrong, sent me into a kind of crisis.

- don't think I'm overly empathetic, but i have a strong sense of justice and get very upset and ill about injustices.

related to that, movies and shows that require a lot of stress i don't like, they make me feel ill and i prefer spoilers when it's like that, i get too nervous.

- socially awkward and don't know how to keep conversations going, at least small talk.

- although i used to talk a lot, nowadays i prefer to stay quiet sometimes.

- i get VERY angry and frustrated but it goes away kind of quickly?

-i used to be very loud and I still dont know how to control my tone of voice ( how loud or quiet i am) and i spoke in a very high pitched voice as a child

- i used to read a lot, went to the library in the recess instead of hanging out all the time with kids and used some complicated words that my parents didn't know i knew

- all my life i only had one close friend ( not the same, but always one)

- i think i had a specific routine of morning

- i have a hard time concentrating and being organized

- i make plans for myself in the night and get upset when OTHERS interrupt it but not when i do

- hard time knowing when to pee and when to eat

- again sensory issues, some foods make me want to puke, and wet, sticky or extremely dry hands are disgusting. Also, light touches feel like anger.

- as a kid I repeatedly watched stuff, ended up boring my family because i only wanted to watch that multiple times

- sensory seeker as a kid kind of, slept with my feet up, danced a lot (stimming?)

-i get irritated easily and can hurt people verbally

- don't know if related but i sometimes very anxious, get upset about not saying goodbye correctly to certain people, as a kid i used to cry and didnt want to go to school because of a "bad feeling" that smth bad was gonna happen, could be anxiety.

i absolutely sure there's more, but I don't wanna keep typing

just to finish, most of my circle is neurodivergent. And family wise, my sister is audhd, one cousin and uncle are autistic, my mom has adhd and two of my cousins are suspected autistic.

[cmtcahrule]

No Words. Part 2.

For those who can't or won't watch.

26. After our wedding I had purchased all of these lanterns. I had this storage unit of all of these lanterns because they really went with the vibe. I had him and his friends drive them in a U-Haul to Texas which was really helpful until they got stopped at the border with weed and went to jail. So they helped when they could.

27. So when things really blew up for him, which I knew took some years, and you were in the spotlight at red carpets, and you were at big movie premiers, and more eyes were on you, how did that feel? Like you had the taste of fame from the hosting, but did you like being in that spotlight of Hollywood? It felt really weird. Like I should be asking questions. I felt like I still wanted to be the person asking questions. There’s always a fine line. You want to be a supportive wife. But you don’t want to lose your identity. Your husband’s career is going one direction but I have always found it tricky to be a supportive wife and maintain everything else that I want. How can I maintain my young, bitch self and be who I am?

28. I wondered how you felt when he was doing really well and you had to come along for the ride? Everything goes back to relationships. We were best friends. We went everywhere together. We didn’t have kids for 5 years. We were together on every set and every experience. I have so many of my friends from his movie sets like Social Network.

29. Where were you when your marriage was ending? Were you ready? I don’t think anyone is ready. I am such a family person. My family is everything. I would literally do anything to take any pain away from my kid. There is literally nothing I would not do.

30. I am a very Christmas card, basic bitch girl who believes family is more important than life or work. I would honestly do anything to keep my family together.

31. During COVID ahead of the divorce announcement: He was having struggles with his dad. He said mentally I am not OK. Like for me, if anyone said I am not OK, you don’t argue with that.

32. Long story short, he left. I saw some text messages that were not supposed to be sent to me.

33. You know what, we have worked so hard and come so far, you just don’t leave your family during a global pandemic. Especially with everything that we have been through.

34.Yes, family is important, but some people are OK with infidelity, but some people can move on, some people can turn a blind eye, but I fucking deserve the world and I am not the girl.

35. I think people make mistakes but I was never going to stay in a relationship where I was disrespected.

36. I remember screaming and crying and not understanding how and why that this could even be happening after we had so many plans. We wanted more kids. We wanted to be in this neighborhood.

37. It was the most horrible time of my life. I am strong. Yes, you are strong as fuck. From the sidelines, watching you…the way you handled it should be written about.

38. Did he try to fight for the marriage when you wanted to end it? He was not in a great place at the time. I won’t speak on his behalf in terms of treatment but all I wanted for him was for him to get help.

39. I drove him to the airport.

40. A good place to heal is where there is no paparazzi or tabloids. I honestly think that one more year might be our “safe zone” here. It is not like we are hiding but I just want to protect them until they can understand that we are both in really healthy places now.

41. I told my daughter I will buy half of your car if you wait until you are 16 to have a phone.

42. I don’t want to overstep but this came out in the media that Armie is paying $1,500 per month in child support and for some reason that became public. I have built a really successful company and I have 3 shows right now in production. I am so grateful for the success of my company and my team. I can sit here and literally spend however many dollars on another year of arguing back and forth with him about how much money and it is such a waste. I will provide for our kids. They are with me all the time.

43. We were in LA and we were staying at my friend’s house and together putting the kids to sleep and reading a book together. That is what kids want and that is what makes them happy. If that is the one thing I can give them I will. There is nothing I won’t do for them. They didn’t ask for any of this.

44. Are you still dating your hot boyfriend? Yes. He is amazing. He is from Lithuania. Born and raised in a small village. He is a physical therapist. I am in love and I love him.

45. So if you move to LA is he going to come? I don’t know. Everyone says the city will ruin him. He is very traditional. He is only 26.

46. The kids love him so much. He is so present and great with them. He is never on his phone.

47. Our family of four, including Armie, is really important to them. That is their identity now.

48. Regarding work: I am excited for the one on Discovery. It is basically a Dateline but with modern terms. Toxic relationships. I am manifesting 300 seasons of it.

49. We have also done a show on Hulu about opening the location here in Cayman which I am hosting and producing. A couple of other ones that just sold.

50. In the end, everything comes down to trauma. Maybe you are filling a void you did not have when you were younger. We are all products of our upbringing. And that really manifests itself in romantic relationships.

[milquetoastmews]

okay I’ve seen you posting about wuthering heights and this is your invitation (if you want one) to yap and share your thoughts about it. i read it a few years back and i honestly… despised it? and i feel like i’m missing something bc like. i regularly read classics. i love engaging with a story’s themes. but something just didn’t click for me, and i’m left feeling bewildered about why people love it. and none of this is judgement on you, i just genuinely feel like i’m missing something, so if you want to yap about it please enlighten me 🖤

so sorry it took me 4evr to respond 2 this omfg

I am literally never not in the mood to talk about wuthering heights!!!!

first things first, I read it over 3 yrs ago so I don't remember allllll the specifics (tho I have been feeling the itch to reread it......)

but from what I can remember (!) here's what I love abt it:

its so immersive! at least, it was for me. I had honestly forgotten that these things had even happened specifically, but I went back and read my goodreads review of it and I mention dreaming about the story and how after I finished it I sat on my bed for an hour doing absolutely nothing, because what was I meant to do? the world I had been living in had just dissipated before my eyes. I had trouble moving on after finishing wuthering heights; I would want to read but couldn't bring myself to pick up another book because that meant fully exiting its world. even though I don’t remember the contents of the dream or sitting on my bed, the feeling I had when reading wuthering heights still comes back to me whenever I think/talk abt it. its hard to put a finger on exactly what that feeling is but I can very distinctly identify it as wuthering heights.

its just so gothic. I lovelovelove gothicism. I love that wuthering heights is gothic in every possible way. theres ghosts and haunted manors and impassioned declarations and tragic ends and violent displays of love (more on this in the next point)

ever since I had to read love in the time of cholera for my sr yr english class I've been kind of obsessed with the concept of love as a violence. not violence used to desecrate love, but violence as an expression of love itself (probably also why I love hannibal lol). as aforementioned, I'm fascinated w the macabre of life. its just so interesting to see how many horrible actions can be not excused, but genuinely explained by love. love as a source of madness, desperation, desolation will always be one of my fav things to see in media

its not an unrequited love story with heathcliff the incel "nice guys always finish last" character. catherine and heathcliff truly truly love each other. but they r both in tricky spots. heathcliff is a person of color with a diminished social standing and catherine is a woman. these both hinder their options in life. I like that love does not conquer all and they don't end up together and heathcliff goes literally batshit bcos of it (kinda ties into my last point). the love is requited it just... can't be

everyone sucks!!!!! absolutely nothing means more to me than characters that fucking suck. like fr. every character is so different and yet exactly the same in the sense that you cannot morally justify liking one over the other. they are all, objectively, bad people, but at times u can't help but wish something good would happen to them, if only to find out if they would be better were their circumstances more favorable (they wouldn't ofc; most of the time, they just ruin whatever good thing even gets w in their vicinity)

I found the framing rlly interesting, the whole story w in a story thing. the end of the book was established at the beginning (or at least that's the assumption): lockwood comes to the grange and visits the heights and sees that everyone is miserable. so, the story begins: nelly is going to enlighten him as to how everyone at the heights came to be so rude and forlorn. but, that wasn't the end and I liked that. to me, it felt like brontë gave us a map at the beginning of the story and said "you're going to end up here" but once we got to that point, she just kept going. I think that strikes a rlly optimal balance of both direction and surprise. tbh I just rlly admire emily brontë as a writer

I believe thats all I can think of for now? I def have more to say on how, yes, everyone sucks, but the characters r still complex and the historical context surrounding when the book was written and the social commentary that comes along w heathcliff's identity and all that but I'm tired and feel bad its taken me this long to respond anyway!!! but def lmk what fell flat 4 u, I'm always curious to learn other ppls perspectives on books

(also I for sure did not edit or read this over b4 posting so sorry if it is absolutely incomprehensible)

[cheeseceli]

Moving on

pairing: ex!Changbin × gn!Reader

genre: angst, small drabble

Description: you found out that Changbin has moved on, and maybe it's your time to let your love story behind

Warnings: none i think? Not proofread

Request: yes!

A/n: probably not my best work but I liked it nevertheless, hope this is what you wanted!

Pt 2

You didn't believe the news when you first saw them. You thought it was some sort of clickbait or a marketing strategy, but it was true. After looking up in every website you could find, you finally understood that Changbin was going to get married.

You were looking down the Stray Kids' instagram, seeing the photos that announced oh so happily that Changbin, the man who is used to be the love of your life, was now an engaged man. The photos were beautiful. Both looked happy. Of course they were.

You should have stopped scrolling down the social media because now you were too deep down. You saw every single picture the couple had together and, you're not one to lie, they looked cute together. You read every comment you could find congratulating the two of them. The other members were so excited with the news. Everyone was filled with joy.

Why couldn't you?

You two broke up more than three years ago, and you did so in good terms. There was no thing such as a horrible fight, or external influences like jealousy and it wasn't toxic. Actually, that relationship was the most perfect thing you could have had in your whole romantic life and Changbin was your dream man. But sadly you were not born to the wall of fame.

The relationship ended because you didn't want your faces in every gossip magazine. You wanted to have datings without being followed for paparazzi. You didn't want fans nor haters. Gosh, once the media found out you were dating one of the best rappers in the kpop industry you even gained your own fan club. Of course, Changbin and JYP crew tried to give you as much comfort and privacy as possible, but there is a certain limit to what they could've done. It wasn't enough for you. You wanted to be away from the public attention. The only possible way to have it was to be apart from your now ex boyfriend.

God knows you both tried your best. But he was made for the stage and it would be selfish of you take it away from him. But you didn't want anything related to fame, and it would be selfish of him to ask you to stay. You would break up, stay as friends and then maybe, in the future, you could try again.

Sadly, future didn't wait for you. Now he loved someone new and would soon settle down with them. You knew it's been a while but you weren't expecting to see this happen. You were not prepared.

What hurts more to see was that the new love of Changbin's life wasn't famous. You were expecting to see another idol, an actor or a model, but you met a normal person. Someone who lived a life away from the spotlights but didn't mind seeing Changbin shine. And you knew you shouldn't be comparing but you couldn't help but think: if I had endured the pressure, would we still be together?

If only you were a little bit stronger back then.

But you guys were friends. That's how you decided it would be. You talked with each other occasionally and the person he is now engaged with has even met you already. It was a healthy situation. So, you had the obligation to congratulate him even though you were dying inside.

"Hey" you texted him "I saw the news. Congratulations Binnie, you guys deserve all the happiness in the world."

Binnie: "Y/n, hey. Thank you so much!! How are you by the way? It has been a while since we last talked"

You laughed through the tears that were forming in your eyes. How were you supposed to reply? How could you just text him something like "I am heartbroken as we speak because I wish that you were marrying me instead" or "I feel horrible because I wanted to be happy for you but I can only feel sadness and even jealousy"? No, you couldn't say that.

You: "I'm fine. I certainly do not have breaking news like you lmao"

Binnie: "Haha, fair enough."

Binnie: "Also, I wanted to ask you before I lose my courage, would you like to come to the wedding?"

For a second your mind went blank. You couldn't belive he had just asked that.

Binnie: "I know that this is probably super awkward considering that we are exes, but I swear it's fine with us! Actually, my partner is the one who gave this idea. They like you a lot haha."

Binnie: "But it's okay if you don't want to."

You: "I'd love to." No you wouldn't. "Just send me the invitation and I will be there."

Binnie: "Really? That's amazing! Once everything's ready we'll send the informations to you!"

You: "I can't wait."

You don't know if he sent you any more texts. Truly, you didn't want to know. Even if you did, you wouldn't be able to read the message with your teary eyes. What the hell were you doing? Going to your ex's wedding only to see the man you still love confessing his feelings to someone who isn't you is only going to break your heart even more.

But maybe that's exactly what you needed. You needed to break your heart so much so he could get out of there, so you could move on. After all, you shouldn't spend all your years loving someone who isn't available for you, and will never be. You're still allowed to be part of his life and that should make you satisfied. You would pretend to be happy for him until those feelings became true.

And maybe, after everything, you'd be able to fall in love one more time. With someone new, someone who would make you forget the man you cannot have now.

feedbacks and reblogs are very much appreciated!

what if i make a part 2 where y/n gets to be with this someone new?

[groovysarity]

You’re positive about other people’s bodies because you’re a good person

You’re horrible about yours because that’s what you’ve been taught

Your whole life you have been conditioned to think that there’s only one kind of body you should have, one kind of body that deserves love and happiness

Every drop of advertising and media has seeped into your subconscious, telling you the shape of your shadow is undesirable, because when you’re dissatisfied you’re easier to sell to.

It’s a trick

If everybody ate the same foods and moved in the same way, their bodies would still be different.

The people commenting hate all over the internet are full of a lifetime of anti fat brainwashing, just like you. They just happen to be not fat. But I’m pretty sure they have friends or family who are. I hope they see their comments. I hope they see their hearts. I hope they heal.

That’s not my job, if people are so resolute in their opinion that they’ve decided to type it out on the internet for all to see, then I’m not going to change their mind responding with my research, my knowledge, my lived experience.

Go through your social media, remove accounts that are aspirational. Favourite the ones that are inspirational. Follow people who look like you. Look in the mirror with love. Dress in clothes that fill you with joy. You need to look at your body more than anyone else’s. So that your body becomes your new normal.

Your heart will change, your soul will change, your mind will change, allow your body to do the same.

We have this one life, to find our joy, I’m not wasting it worrying about numbers and measurements, how palatable I am to others, the opinions of people I don’t love and don’t love me for another second 🧡

[ghostingghosty]

Hello, I'm an Iranian (though I don't live in Iran anymore) and I saw your posts about Iran's retaliation attack on Isreal, I wanted to say a few things and hope you post this.

All the things that you posted and reblogged about Iran's retaliation attack on Isreal is true. BUT the fact that Iran sent the drones has terrified the Iranian population (whether they live in Iran or not) because this means there's a higher chance of Iran going to full on war with Isreal, and the same thing that is happening at Palestine right now happen to Iran too.

I wanted to bring to light how little the world actually cares about Iran (or the middle east just in general). How little news there is on Iran. How the way that westerners perceive Iran is most of the time wrong.

For most of us Iranians are sure that if Isreal DOES declare war with Iran, Iran's gonna get even less recognition than Palestine. The west is not even going to ACKNOWLEDGE us. Especially with the USA having Israel's back. There is going to be so much misinformation.

It is known that Iran has a problematic government. To the point that most Iranians (such as myself) want the Islamic Regime gone and instead want a government that is not based on religion and prioritises its PEOPLE.

Look, I have lived in Iran and the Islamic Regime simply DOES NOT CARE about its people. The government is already ruining the lives of Iranians in Iran by not managing anything. Inflammation is so bad (everything being 3 to 10+ times more expensive); people don't have access to international social media and websites (they're all banned, you need a VPN to access one); the food is already of bad quality and people are cutting rice and meat from their diets because of inflammation which led to malnutrition percentages rising dramatically the past 5 years; the air is so, so much polluted it's considered dangerous and there are so many days that the government has to close schools in fear of children fainting and passing out; there is NO water! Iran is facing an absolute crazy water shortage, especially in the south of Iran. There are people dying from dehydration and malnutrition and farmers don't have enough water to grow crops. And climate change is even contributing to this lack of water. There was barely any rain las fall and winter. That's also without taking in the factor that with summer comming, most places in Iran will have a temperature of 30+ degrees Celsius, with some cities hitting 50 degrees. Journalists are sent to prison left and right for speaking the truth and journalists from other countries don't even dare to step foot near Iran. And you can get arrested for literally anything at this point. We're drowning in sanctions. There's so much censorship in the media that you genuinely have no idea what source to trust and what source to not. On top of that, Iran has been dealing with a large number of floods the past years and Iran is a country that is prone to large earthquakes at any moment.

There is about 85 million people living in Iran, with 20 million of them living in the capital, Tehran. That's a huge population compared to Palestine. Imagine how many more people could Isreal kill if they decide to bomb just the capital, or one of the other major cities.

Just imagine how horrible it would be if Isreal actually starts another war. Another genocide.

There is actual fear. Iranians have been living in actual fear for the past 3 years as any move from Iran could trigger Isreal or the US to attack us. Just like Palestinians, Iranians don't deserve this. Even if our government is horrible.

I'm genuinely scared, even though I don't live in Iran anymore, I still have friends and family there. I don't want them to get hurt, or worse, die. I don't want WW3 to start. Because it feels like WW3 is about to start.

Firstly, I want to make it very clear that I do not support the Iranian government, not that I am claiming that you claim that I do, as you did not, but to anyone who reads this and have that inclination – I do not support the Iranian government and my former post was not made in the support of the Iranian government. What I did attempt to do with my post, was to explain that the Iranian retaliation was an understandable answer; Iran not retaliating in the way that they did, would have proven to Israel that they can do whatever they want without any consequences. The West did not care about the bombing of their consulate—or, really, any of the crimes that Israel is committing—so what is there to do besides a retaliation? On the note of this attack, Iran also knew that their retaliation would not cause a humanitarian catastrophe in Israel – they have the US' defence system on their side. From my understanding, not one person in “Israel” died because of the retaliation, and I would imagine Iran also knew that would be the probable outcome. If Israel attacks Iran back, due to the retaliation, that will not be because of Iran’s wrongdoings in this situation, but simply because Israel is an egocentric killer with a war pervert as their owner.

Now, I understand that the retaliation, especially for Iranians, is scary. In my post, I very briefly mentioned the victims of the “war against terror” that the US, and allies, engaged in after 9/11, where hundreds of thousands were hurt and killed and millions were otherwise affected by the invasion. This is the reality of what could happen if America chooses (with a line under chooses) to join Israel in an “answer” (moreover, vengeance – how do they dare to retaliate?!). The US uses force in the most disgusting of ways, and I find it fitting here, also, to state that I do not support the US government either. I believe the US is the most horrific of war machines, and I understand why the prospects of that force invading is frightening, especially taking into consideration the echoes of American terror and imperialism that can still be felt in the Middle East today (especially when America still looms over the region; take Israel as the most visible example).

That said, and as I stated before, what happens, and what is and has been happening, are all on the hands of Israel, the US and the West. Israel could stop the “war”—the genocide—tomorrow, if they wanted to. They could, too, stop the prospects of a war in Iran, or the world, by accepting the retaliation and not doing anything, especially when their “answer” would be nothing but a show of ego. Israel (and The US and allies) is the sole aggressor in this conflict, not Iran. The conversation of Iran's attack being labelled “unprecedented” (a word used by politicians to undermine the rationality of Iran's decision) from Israeli allies is also dumbfounding. Had Iran shot any US consulate, America would have retaliated in the exact same way, with more casualties, and everyone who are now criticising Iran would have been cheering them on.

Now, despite my lengthy answer (I apologise), I agree with your points and I find them extremely important. I sit in a western country far away from Iran, Palestine, the Middle East, and the conflict as a whole. I have no family, friends, or people I directly know in the region, and therefore my answer is influenced by my location. I feel that we, with “we” I mean those “unaffected”, at times forget the people affected by these decisions. Had my government chosen to retaliate against a diplomatic building getting shot, especially in the dire situation that we are in now, I would probably have had the same thought – let us not; I do not want to be in war. That said, had Iran done nothing then Israel would have done this again; and again; and again; and again. I believe that Iran’s move, especially seeing as no one died (again, from my understanding), was the only thing they could have done. If war breaks loose, it is the sole fault of Israel and the US; though I understand that such does not matter, when you stand on the opposite end of the barrel.

My answer might not be especially useful, but I used this space to clear some of my own thoughts, as well as to get your post out in the world as I find it immensely important. The West is an extremely racist and bigoted place, despite how we like to portray ourselves. Not only do we (using “we” very generally here) not like Iran, but I would argue that much of our politics surrounds itself by being racist towards muslims in general. Your post shows what I wish I could scream at any fucking racist piece of shit that I have ever met.

Thank you for reading, despite the lengthiness.

[shoyastars]

A Star Celebration

Hiya!!!~ welcome to the nsfw fanfic for today because! ITS RAY’S BIRTHDAY!!!! April 30th is our best man’s birthday!

Old man turning 33 hehe! >:D

Anyways I got a bit inspired off of @argyre169

Wonderful fanfic… ✨☕️👀

AHEM! I hope you all enjoy this cup of tea oh! Be warned this is an Nsfw version not a sfw, and I might be a bit rusty I have written nsfw before, but back then I was all “hehehe totally do that and this!” Without really thinking what the character would cannonlly do, OH RIGHT! Be sure that Ray isn’t my character, they belong to ConcreteParasite! Who made an absolutely beautiful and amazing game. Go check it out if you’re 18 or older it’s intended for 18 and up, if you’re a minor, GET OUT OF HERE!! We ain’t getting the creator or the game in trouble today you got that?

This will be an oc x character sooo yeah.. >:)

✨But anyways, Happy Birthday Ray!✨

Let’s begin!

Mistin knew today was a special day, it was Ray’s birthday. That and it’s been everywhere on social media as of late. Unfortunately due to the NAHA knowing today’s a special day for ‘Binary Star’ Ray was called into work. However Mistin wouldn’t allow this chance to go to waste, they decided to make something special for him, he’s probably able to buy anything he wants due to his usual hero work, So Mistin got out some stuff and started sketching, painting and putting in final touches, when they were done they smiled at the work they’ve done. Mistin looked at the time, Ray still wasn’t home yet. That’s when they had the idea to try and make something, sure they’re cooking skills weren’t as good as his but they could try. They weren’t sure if it will work out in their favor, but they weren’t going to give up so easily, they’ve been in the villain world and got out barely with a scratch….. well… almost without a scratch… but hey what’s the worst that could happen?

.

.

.

“Gah! Geez how many times am I gonna make things fall over today.” Mistin caught the baking powder before if fell, due to it being on the edge. Mistin didn’t think about how much of a hassle baking was for them, especially doing it right… Mistin wasn’t sure how long they were in they’re apartment’s kitchen for… (Ahem 6 hours) they tried to think of what Ray would like or try finding a recipe, heck even perfecting it… it was honestly hard for them not to feel nervous they might screw up horribly…. Even causing them to trip and knock things over… luckily they didn’t fall with anything in hand so far.

Mistin groaned in frustration as they weren’t sure if they were going to get it done at all correctly without messing up, they were confident in their skills but however when it comes down to something they can’t determine will go badly wrong or perfectly right. They never cared this much before so why now? Well…. It’s because Ray gave them the chance to love romantically again… not to mention how they were able to set boundaries, discover and experience some thing’s normal couples do at least…. But most importantly…. Actually feel loved and not used like…. They’re last relationship….

They shake they’re head to snap out of they’re thoughts and focus, if anything it won’t be perfect but it’s decent at least they hope. Soon Mistin would be so wrapped up in Theyre own little cooking mayhem that they wouldn’t hear the door open and close. It was Ray.

“Star, I’m back.” Ray stretched but didn’t get a response. They we’re starting to worry a bit, until they heard Mistin mumbling out curses in the kitchen, they walked out to see Mistin getting annoyed at another failed attempt to make something, Ray noticed the recipe, and realized that Mistin choose a difficult recipe that is not very easy to make, causing him to smile a bit at them and try not to laugh at how angry they’re getting over a single recipe. “GAH! Fuck sake! What does it take to make a recipe actually go right!? Ugh!”

Mistin put Theyre hands to they’re face and turned away to breath, moving they’re hair out of they’re face, only see Ray in hero uniform, trying not to laugh at them. “Oh… um… hi…” Mistin didn’t know weather to be embarrassed or ashamed over getting frustrated over a recipe going wrong. “Hi, struggling with something?” He says crossing his arms and leaning to the side. Mistin felt their face go a bit pink from pure embarrassment. “W-Well I was just trying to make something so….”

“A difficult recipe?”

“What?”

“The recipe is difficult to make, yeah it will take trial and error but I’m sure you’ll get it in at least…. A couple of days if you’re dedicated to making it?” Mistin sighed and admitted defeat, setting themself on the kitchen floor, then Ray joined with them setting themself down beside them. “I’m sorry…” Ray gave a concerned look, he gently started rubbing their back to comfort them. “Sorry? For what?”

“Doing this… all by myself… possibly making you worry…. this day was supposed to be about you and…. I can’t even realize a stupid recipe is going to be too difficult for me to make…. You even had to go into work on you’re birthday…. I just want… to make sure today was going to you special…. like you did when it was my birthday….. I suck at this…”

Ray didn’t realize that they were willing to do that for him, but that’s how love goes am I right? (Ahem! Anyways) Ray got up and just threw out the failed attempts causing Mistin to look up at him. “Ray what are you doing?” Ray only smiled and lend a hand to lift them up. “Well I was hoping you weren’t going to continue with this recipe and do another one that’s more simple together.” Mistin was hesitant but nodded. Ray smiled and place a kiss on their cheek, causing Mistin to laugh a bit push his face away. “Hey I was only giving you a kiss.”

“Well you gotta kiss me without that mask of yours mr. ‘Binary Star’ haha!” With that Ray looked at Mistin with so much love in his eyes, taking his mask off, right now he knew Mistin truly only wanted to celebrate his birthday… not as Binary Star, but as Ray. He loved that about them. “There you are… Happy Birthday Ray..” with that Mistin and Ray shared a passionate kiss. Ray didn’t wanna pull away but however Mistin pulled away with Ray only leaning in for more only to snap back to reality. “I think you should hop in the shower. I’ll clean up this mess.”

“Why not join me then?” Ray smirked as Mistin was tempted, they did say the next time he’d invite that they’d take up the offer. That’s when Mistin sighed and smiled. Turning to him. “Sure, I did promise that I’d take you up upon you’re offer the next time, and it seems like a good day to finally accept.” Mistin would take his hand and lead him into the bathroom, Ray already a bit excited yet couldn’t help but feel a bit surprised they actually accepted this time. “What about the mess?” Mistin smiled as they started taking off their clothes, not caring if he’s looking or not anymore. “I’ll clean it up later, for now I believe ‘we’ should both get cleaned up.~” They then turned on the shower, Ray sighs as he shakes and then chuckles a bit. He finally decided to take off his hero uniform, Mistin was the first to step in waiting for him, soon Ray followed afterwards. The nice water hitting their skin as they were in there.

——————————————————————————

Ok! This is where the spice begins! ✨☕️👀✨

______________________________________________

Soon Ray would have Mistin against the shower wall as he kissed them passionately, he was so glad that they accepted the invitation now. Mistin’s arms around his neck, soon their hands were in his now wet hair as his kiss trailed down to their neck, Mistin couldn’t help but let out quiet moans of pleasure, only fueling Ray further to continue on. Soon his hand traveled down to touch every part of Mistin’s body. “You are so… fucking perfect…” a husky whisperer into Mistin’s ear as Ray’s hand goes between their legs. “If you want me to stop, stay it and I’ll stop. If not… I’ll make sure you’re going to feel real good.” Mistin nodded eager, they soon moaned as Ray’s fingers were pumped into and out, causing Mistin to let out shaky moans of pleasure as Ray smiled at how much they were enjoying this. The water making it even easier for him to move his fingers around.

“Ray..-“ before they could speak further he kissed them, definitely adding tongue. He pulled his fingers out, Mistin was confused but understood quickly what his intentions were next. Mistin was uncertain because they never had sex with a guy before, if anything it was entirely new.. but they weren’t exactly a virgin in the slightest. Ray noticed the uncertainty and gently held they’re face, looking into they’re eyes. “If you don’t want to continue that’s completely fine, don’t feel forced to do what I want because it’s my birthday.” With that they knew Ray read their mind without consent but in this case they didn’t care at this point. They didn’t wanna run away or be scared to do things anymore, they’re going to go through with it. “I want to, Ray please…” with that Ray kissed them, soon Mistin felt both pain and pleasure, Ray whispering reassurances and even holding they’re hand fingers linked together, soon he started to move, Ray never letting go of they’re hand as his other hand gripped their side. Mistin biting their lip for a bit and then going back to moaning with pleasure, feeling every inch of him inside them feeling good with every thrust he made. Ray couldn’t take his eyes off them, he wanted to see every bit of them of every moment. He knew he wanted them from the very start, but not in a way he only wanted they’re body, but having them, they’re trust, they’re love. He couldn’t ask for a more better gift than that. He then shared a kiss with them he doesn’t get enough of them, if anything he loves them more than anything, if he were to choose the city or them, he’d pick them. Mistin couldn’t have asked for a better partner for this moment, feeling so much love from Ray it feels like they were to explode in any given time. They weren’t used to such affection for not being given any in a long, long time… they wanted to get the know the true Ray and now after all this time they still wanted to know more. They’re so glad they didn’t give up on him, though some people say two broken people are only bound to tear what’s left apart, they gave it a shot with Ray and yet here they are, loving each other. Mistin grips some of Ray’s hair, even wrapping his arms around him again. Moaning his name heck even more, saying they love them. To them this was more than just simple sex in the shower, to them it was like giving a piece of themselves to him and trust him wholeheartedly. Soon Ray while kissing them, pulls away and leans in hear they’re ear. “Mistin, I love you..” he says as Mistin knows they’re both nearly finished. “I love you to, oh god Ray!” Wrapping they’re arms around him tightly as he sped the pace up a bit, and then finally stop.

They stayed there for a bit soon Mistin finally looking at Ray out of breath and soon smiling at him, Ray didn’t need to read they’re mind to know how much they loved him. Sharing a passionate kiss afterwards.

——————————————————————————

End of the spice. ✨🤭✨

——————————————————————————

Once out of the shower Ray as expected brought over clothes. Mistin grew used to it, Ray only smiled at them as they were changing into some comfortable clothes, the day is nearly over. Mistin cleaned up the kitchen with Ray, soon he’d find a recipe that was more easy to understand and simple. Of course… why didn’t they think of that? Soon as they were making something he noticed Mistin’s sleeves were fully up, they didn’t usually have them all the way up because they showed the scars of when they used they’re ability as a villain. “What wrong?” Mistin asked a bit concerned. Ray looks at their arm, the cuts were big. They did explain how their ability worked, the deeper the cut the bigger the effect, the longer the cut the longer it lasted. “I thought you were uncomfortable showing you’re scars.” Mistin smiled and just moved some hair out of their face. Ray then knew right there he’d reached a point where Mistin isn’t ashamed to show they’re scars around him. Without warning Ray goes up behind them taking their hand and then kissing the scars on Mistin’s arm, making Mistin’s face a bit pink. “Hey! Don’t make me cover them up again old man!” Ray only laughs as he got used to them calling him old man long ago. Soon after awhile they ended up finishing the recipe also cleaning up a bit. Then Mistin decided to make something extra, ending up getting frosting on their face. Ray chuckled as he wipes a bit of it away with his thumb. At this point Mistin had already put their sleeves back down since what they made was practically done and they’re arms were getting marks from their own sleeves which was uncomfortable. “Ray wha- haha!”

“Gee Star getting messy again on my birthday?”

“Hey! Of course I’m gonna make a bit of a mess when cooking. Haha!” With that Mistin stuck out their tongue and Ray only smiles, he was having a good time. Soon afterwards they ate the food. “Oh shit! Right almost forgot.” Mistin gone over to their bedside table and grab the thing they made. Mistin gave it to them. Ray looked at it and saw two silhouettes in a starry sky holding each other. “I decided to describe how felt around you, in a form of I guess artwork… I don’t usually do it but… Ray… you make me happy. Even if the world we know is fucked up… at least we found each other… right?” Ray didn’t know what to say, but he place it to the side and kiss them. When he pulled away he held them close. “I’m glad I saw you that night.. I’m very lucky you know that?” Mistin leaned into him. “I’m lucky to have finally met you in the café.”

With that Ray spent the night, they were called in the next day, but Mistin knew he’d be back, after all. They were both caught in a pre ordained dance….

They met.

.

They collided….

.

They orbit around each other.

.

.

.

.

Thank you for reading this.

✨Happy Birthday Ray!✨

✨Hopefully I did good at writing this, it’s been long while since I’ve written actual Nsfw Ehehe… as alway! Comments are open if there are any criticisms you’d like to give. I’ll be sure to keep it in mind for the future! Bye bye!✨

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

So y'all, I have some possible good news tonight.

When I was in school, every dreaded moment there was hell on Earth. It's a small town, with one elementary, one middle, and one high school. No alternatives available unless you pay a boatload, and drive out of town daily to attend. There's no way else to reach those schools. Everyone who goes to this town most often goes to those three schools and graduates from them, most starting kindergarten and ending 12th grade there and never moving between.

But through the hell that it was, my only saving grace was my friends. And most of them I still keep close contact with to this day.

However, I had one friend. I'll call her J.

I'd met J in 1st grade, and we stuck together ever since. But as we approached high school, I learned more about J. Her situation at home. Her horrible parents who cut off all outside contact capabilities, would not give her a phone, forbade her from accessing any electronic devices whatsoever, forbade her from having social media of any sort, etc. Despite how small our town was, I had not a clue which house she lived in, only the general location. J was seeking an escape, any way out, and I tried my damndest to help her for years but there was nothing I could do.

No less, J and I stuck together the whole way. She saw me through my darkness of fighting dysphoria, coming out, and receiving 7 denials for testosterone, through my many years long diagnosis of the mystery diseases I had which turned out to be lupus and arthritis, and she saw me through my bulimia and got the nurses in the school to help me when I was too scared to reach out and get any help.

J was my best friend of best friends in school.

But graduation was our goodbye. On that football field where the ceremony was held, she and I smiled and posed for a picture that is all but lost as far as I'm aware. We hugged, separated, and that was it. My lifelong friend and I haven't seen one another since. And just as before, I had no way to reach her, no way to find her, and nowhere to contact her safely if I did know her location. For all I knew, she'd gone through with her plans to fly to Florida and join the workforce. I had no idea.

But the internet is a great friend. I thought for a while about doing one of those people searches, but last I'd done one was like 2014, and that was about as accurate as flying cars.

Today I decided on a total whim to try searching again. This time, for J.

And there, I found an address and phone number. After some more cautious digging, I found the phone number belongs to her mother, so that was a no-go. But the address for J? It was apart from her parents, her family. Nobody she's related to lives with her.

So I went ahead, and I wrote a good ol' fashioned letter. Addressed to J, at her new place.

And at the end, I remembered I had one photo. It's from our high school years, when she and I went on a marching band trip together 11 hours away from home by bus. On the trip itinerary was a small cruise that left the harbor for a few hours and sailed us around the water for a bit, then came back. But at the entrance, everyone's picture was taken with their friends.

Me and J had ours taken together.

At the end of the ride, the company sold the printed photos for $20 each. It was all I had, $20. Nothing more. But I used it all to buy that photo, because something inside told me to hold onto it. Never lose it.

I scanned that photo tonight and made a copy, then enclosed it with J's letter. But just as well, seeing as I've changed my appearance quite a bit since then, I enclosed a photo of myself from last month.

I didn't even realize it until after I compared both photos for a moment.

Go back almost a decade, I'm wearing the same exact vest, and the same exact Mjolnir, as I am here and now, in 2024. I may have changed in a lot of ways, but all the same, so much has remained the same.

And I just think. And I hope. I hope my letter reaches J safely, and that she reaches out to me, and knows I'm still the same old Magnus she loved and knew back then.

And all the same, I hope to see her better than she was, happier, and free. I wish her the best constantly, and maybe I'll find out. I'll be waiting...

Here's to hope, and friendship. The only things that have kept me alive since forever. And most of all, here's to hoping J and I find each other again, after so many years apart.

[moonlit-orchid]

Having thoughts again. At what points do I establish boundaries, and what point do you compromise?

Because I'm starting to wonder if The Person (I'm sorry to bring it up again-) overstepped my boundaries/ forced me to break them, or if I was supposed to comprise there.

It's silly, really. They wanted to stop talking on email and move to DMs. I did not have permission from my mum (yes, I still need her permission for this sort of stuff, honestly it's a miracle I even have Tumblr at all) to DM anyone on my personal number, and honestly I took a pretty big risk just giving them my email because I just didn't know how mad my mum would be, and I really didn't want her to like go through my emails with them. She could have even said to block them, or at least stop talking to them. So email was already a big risk. But after a while they didn't like being on email and wanted to DM or phone. I told them that it wasn't possible for me to ask, especially as at that time, my family was going through one of the worst, if not the worst, patch we've been through, and my mum was very quick to get angry, and I just wanted to avoid all that.

The thing is, they kept bringing it up, and made me feel like a bad friend for not asking my mum if she was okay with me DMing them. Eventually I did ask on a reckless impulse, but it was ridiculously nerve wracking.

And then after that, even DMs weren't enough. They wanted to call. I only like to be on the phone to someone after my family has gone to bed so that I won't be interrupted, and my life was really busy at the time too, and I don't like to phone anyone anyway (I feel like I'm disturbing them, and these days I almost prefer just texts. The introvert in me is very powerful). So they got passive aggressive, ignoring my messages and again, I felt like a horrible friend for not making an effort.

And I'm just thinking of each time I had to make an effort, each time I had to do more and more, and I wonder if I was compromising in those situations, like I've always been told to do to keep a relationship of any kind going, if that's just what a good friend does and I'm bad at being a friend. Or if maybe my boundaries were being crossed and demolished, and I just didn't realise it. Because deep inside me, I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with DMs anyway.

What's making me think I was taken advantage of is the fact that they refused to use another social media app that I did have permission to use, because they hated it. They were able and free to use whatever social media they liked. I was not. Yet they didn't want to DM me on the social media I was allowed because they hated iit. They didn't make that sacrifice. I didn't make a sacrifice so much as do something that made me very uncomfortable. So I almost feel like, looking back, I was disrespected or my boundaries were pushed too much. Perhaps the fact that if I ever end up like this again, I wouldn't even let it go past the wanting-to-DM stage and put my foot down there, means I did have boundaries crossed. I'm not sure.

Also just so I don't make another post, another thing that made me so uncomfortable was how... obsessed they were and how they outright admitted it. If you're going through my other social media (not that I post on anything but AO3), please don't tell me. It makes me so uncomfortable, especially if you tell me you looked at everything I bookmarked too (in fact, now I'm gonna just bookmark everything on private just because of how uncomfortable being told that by them made me feel), or if you look at everything I like on Tumblr or something. Just don't tell me. At all. Please. I just... I just don't like it. Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm silly, but it's just how I am, and I needed to get it out.

I also felt uncomfortable when they overshared, or wanted to share their "worst side" with me. I don't want to know anyone's dark secrets or anything, or the questionable stuff someone may do. I don't know if that's a problem I need to work on, but I'd rather not know when someone does something really wild or crazy because it just makes me feel uncomfortable, like I've walked into something I just shouldn't have seen. Again, this last one is probably a problem I need to work on, but I just wanted to get it out.

[kickdrumheart68]

You’re positive about other people’s bodies because you’re a good person

You’re horrible about yours because that’s what you’ve been taught

Your whole life you have been conditioned to think that there’s only one kind of body you should have, one kind of body that deserves love and happiness

Every drop of advertising and media has seeped into your subconscious, telling you the shape of your shadow is undesirable, because when you’re dissatisfied you’re easier to sell to.

It’s a trick

If everybody ate the same foods and moved in the same way, their bodies would still be different.

The people commenting hate all over the internet are full of a lifetime of anti fat brainwashing, just like you. They just happen to be not fat. But I’m pretty sure they have friends or family who are. I hope they see their comments. I hope they see their hearts. I hope they heal.

That’s not my job, if people are so resolute in their opinion that they’ve decided to type it out on the internet for all to see, then I’m not going to change their mind responding with my research, my knowledge, my lived experience.

Go through your social media, remove accounts that are aspirational. Favourite the ones that are inspirational. Follow people who look like you. Look in the mirror with love. Dress in clothes that fill you with joy. You need to look at your body more than anyone else’s. So that your body becomes your new normal.

Your heart will change, your soul will change, your mind will change, allow your body to do the same.

We have this one life, to find our joy, I’m not wasting it worrying about numbers and measurements, how palatable I am to others, the opinions of people I don’t love and don’t love me for another second 🧡

Credit: Taynee on Facebook

[htcsense5]

Counter-Exposing Banjo/Tiredite/Lunar Moonyu/Lunar Cheese

Hello everyone.

It’s me, arsikphonegreat.

As some of you might know, I have been “exposed” for sexting allegations. While the screenshots were real, there was a LOT of stuff that went unmentioned on purpose.

Before we start, I’d like to mention that i am NOT trying to justify any of the stuff that i did in early 2021. I understand that it was horrible, but I was MUCH, MUCH younger than banjo (i will refer to her with that in this whole exposé). That exposé that was made on me was an absolutely pathetic one at that, and I’m going to break it down into pieces.

First of all, the 2020 thing. The exposing page mentioned how I started “sexting” her during a drama that was happening. Yes, that is kinda bad, though banjo did a big part in it, with even creating an OC called “Dirty Minded Banjo” and later making her first NSFW art, which i unfortunately cannot access because I can’t log in to that account where I impersonated a drama maker due to being locked out of my mail, so if you don’t believe me then it’s fine. If we ever find it, i will make sure to add it here. Everyone knew about this “sexting” bs, including my friends. It really was a joke, that was meant to make fun of a phone collector named Alonso, who was OBSESSED with horny bs. Banjo was perfectly comfortable doing this, so I don’t see why she’s acting like it traumatised her forever.

Unfortunately this is the only screenshot I could find mentioning this 2020 thing, so take that however you will. Sorry for not being able to find much proof on that.

(UPDATE: We found it. We found her first ever cursed art. Here it is. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/714901509967446016/1167211125667008593/SPOILER_WHAT_THE_FUCK_IS_THAT.gif?ex=654d4d12&is=653ad812&hm=b1346e2bbda29ccaecedc13d9feb16c329986d2447ab32ee3206ca280e252c2c&)

But here’s where we move to one of the biggest parts of this whole ordeal.

Banjo started making more NSFW arts with my friends and sexualising in every way she could, here’s proof:

As you can see, she had a big “history” of making these arts before the banjo x arsik garbage even started.

Now, let’s move to the reason why I was exposed. I was actually 11 back then, but banjo still knowingly did the thing with me thinking i was 10. I regret not resisting, and I am sorry for that. Banjo was 13, by the way.

She never mentioned those arts, so here I am. She thought i was 10 and knowingly sent those “arts” to a ten year old.

And here’s her asking a person who she thought was 10 this type of question. Literally gross shit.

In March 2021, after me finally coming to my senses, she made ANOTHER NSFW art with my friends, and at this point i’ve had enough.

Finally, we cancelled this girl, and in June 2021 we have eventually forgiven her. It was a big war, and it’s also the one she keeps mentioning in her social media as the “Banjo hate war” and always says it started on march 8th which proves my point. During the war, SHE MADE ANOTHER CURSED ART DESPITE BEING CANCELLED FOR CURSED ARTS. Here is proof. It happened on the 16th of May, 2021, if you’re curious.

After the war ended, banjo went back to her old ways, sending creepy messages to my friend, NKYT.

As you can see, it happened after June 2021, which means she hasn’t learned anything at all.

Fast forward to late 2022, before NKYT came back from his break, banjo obviously didn’t change and posted these abominations:

She even went as far as to POST A VIDEO WHERE SHE PLAYED A VOICE RECORDING OF HERSELF MOANING https://youtu.be/WW5G_TbBgsc?si=Y7etG2AiEmVmx34W

And now, let’s talk about the raiding thing. Yes, it was bad to some degree, however in my opinion, it was completely deserved after all the lies and her posts on twitter which i have just mentioned.

Finally, this is the end of this counter-exposé. It was certainly a long read, but I hope that now you know the truth about Lunar Cheese. I don’t condone what I did back then, but banjo knew she was doing this with who she thought was a 10 year old, and was perfectly fine sending those arts to me. Absolutely disgusting and shameless.

WE GOT AN UPDATE!!!!

Looks like that bastard saw this exposé and made this abomination where she played THE ENTIRE VOICE RECORDING OF HER MOANING

Listen at your own risk, you don’t want to be traumatised.

“i had enough” my ass

another update: the vid got deleted for violating the terms of service LMFAO (looks like either some nice person who saw this post reported the video or the youtube team deleted the vid by themselves)

thankfully, we archived it:

oh, and, here are her discord IDs so feel free to ban that liar from your servers:

823539067513470976 767779242787340288 782310424129437746