#i am not kicking you out of the house for being a gay trans man. im an ally. im kicking you out because you failed sorcery training

[kattitude130]

I saw your trans Hakuri post on bluesky and laughed because while we're having slightly different versions of the same headcanon, they're both so good!

Trans Woman Hakuri 🤝 Trans Man Hakuri

trans man hakuri is very funny to me because it reflects that trans ratatouille meme "i can accept your gender identity but no son of mine will be a chef" like his family still beat him nearly to death every day but will respect his pronouns it paints an interesting picture

[discountprophet]

help a gay disabled trans man and his boyfriend not become homeless this disability pride month!

hello all! my name is salem and i am multiply disabled in a way that i cannot work due to the strain it puts on my body. me and my primary boyfriend live with my abusive parents currently and while theyve been looking for a job, theyre working on their ged so its hard for them to find one. my parents are demanding that we pay this money in order to keep living there

i am at risk of getting kicked out of my house if i dont come up with $600 very soon (i wasnt given an exact time frame but the longer it goes on the more at risk of becoming homeless i am)

please donate if you can. even small amounts help, anything at all. and if you cant donate please pass this around and encourage others to donate. i am at serious risk if i get kicked out due to already being disabled and bedridden most of the time. i am in a very desperate place and really need the help

$0/600

[zoomzooomfast]

Style things in my SP AU

 so because I am normal about Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski I have a Bunch of headcanons around them mostly in high school and older that I haven't stopped thinking about for 3 weeks 

- Stan and Kyle are Both Bisexual and there TfT and Kyle is a trans man and Stan is Non-binary and uses They/He pronouns 

-In High school Stan Played Football and Lacrosse and Kyle played basketball and Figure Skated 

-Stan had a varsity jacket he just refused to own or wear it himself but he always had his partners waring them with Kyle ending up being the permeant owner once they graduated 

-Kyle dated Wendy for a bit in high school where Stan ended up having an executional crisis where he wondered if they were gay and he dated craig for a few months and then he dated Kenny for a bit after that. Then Stan had a mental breakdown to Wendy and Wendy told him if Kyle is cool with it we can be poly

-Kyle was cool with it and the 3 of them where together till Wendy broke up with both of them because they seemed better being just the two of them. 

-All of the core 4 ended up going to Denver for collage and the 4 shared a 3 bed apartment where even though Cartman and Kenny knew Stan and Kyle were dating they both came up with stupid reasons why they shared a room

-After they graduated collage Gerald offered to get Kyle a house of which he took up fast and Then Kyle and Stan lived together there for a while

-But Stans things that made Them fun in collage became a problem and Kyle was sick of him. Kyle kicked Stan out and told him if he can get himself together then he can come back into Kyles life

-Stan left South Park after that for 6 or 7 years just living in different places around Colorado 

-Kyle during this span of time got Married to a childhood friend Rebecca who no one in his family liked she was to quite for anyone in Kyles family or life to like her. They had there Son  Ezekiel “Zeke” Rebecca hated the nickname. The marriage lasted about a year and half after Zeke was born.

-The marriage ended when Kyle came home from work one day to find a letter from Rebecca saying that she was a lesbian and has been having an affair with a woman and left him to live her best cottagecore lesbian life.

-Kyle had a full mental breakdown with him ending up resining from his job and staying home most of the day high and drunk watching a box set of red racer that Craig gave to Kyle for Zeke 

-Luck for Kyle this around the time Stan felt like he got his life together he was a little shocked when they showed up to Kyles house to see his best friend who he knew as the level headed psychologist both high and drunk in a weird way it remined Stan of there dad.

-Stan instantly developed a connection with 2 year old Zeke. And because of that Stan knew he need to help Kyle get his life together starting with getting Kyle somewhere to go so he wouldn't just drink and smoke

-From Stan just trying to keep Kyle Sober and busy by just running around Kyle learned that he was going to have a second child and that caused a less fun round of  a mental breakdown 

-Kyle ended up working as a secretary for his dad till his daughter Tabitha was born and then Kyle felt the need to get back to having real job. So Kyle applies to be the elementary schools counselor which he got

-Stan very happily took up Kyles offer of watch my kids and you can live here rent free

-Shelia comes over a lot to help Stan with cooking and to just be able to talk to her sons partner because Stan would actually speak. The first time Shelia came over she asked Stan about an engagement ring and what season him and Kyle want to get married in. Stan was there was what where just friends we haven't dated in years. Shelia had to sit down and go back over everything that Stan and Kyle have done in just the past 11-ish months. and if Stan was sure they weren't engaged or hell even married yet given that Stan is in reality just a housewife

-Stans “Proposal” as just Stan sitting in a chair in Kyles living room asking if he could be Kyles “House Husband” and giving him a ring that Shelia gave to stan saying that Kyle would like it. and He did, Kyle also played it as very chill

-After Stan Fell asleep Kyle went to the kitchen and Sobbed over the Phone to Ike

I don't have the between of them Getting married and Zeke being 12/13 years so thats all I got 

[mbrainspaz]

my gay uncle trying to explain to me that reagan wasn't that bad and his whole excuse literally being 'he had a gay friend.' 😶 I am ... how can you be this way when you actually lived through the 80's? I know media wasn't as accessible back then but damn man have you not looked back once? And then he has the nerve to frame ME as the ignorant one?

he was giving me a whole talk about how I can't just shut people out of my life for 'disagreeing with me.' (Because he wants me to unblock my transphobic mom because us not talking anymore is making everyone else soooo uncomfortable.) Ugh. 0/10 worst entire conversation I've had recently. He even tried the 'trans people don't deserve the same rights [as us gay guys] because they didn't even exist in the public discourse until recently' bullshit. When I mentioned the story of the trans research from 1930's Germany that was destroyed by the nazis he acted like I was trying to make the holocaust about trans people instead of jews. Not even??? Incredibly disingenuous. When I brought up literary sources he actually got upset and exclaimed that I should read some book about how Fauci is evil. I laughed like... 'okay.' "People only read things they agree with!" he exclaimed triumphantly as if I hadn't just agreed to read it. "Do you know how many right wing conservative christian books I've read? That's how I learned to think critically about what I read, take it apart, and refute it." That kinda took the wind out of his sails but I don't feel like I got through to him at all.

In another attempt to excuse his politics he tried the 'all politicians are evil' discourse so I talked about the minimization of harm and actual harm inflicted by candidates he probably voted for. He jumped that track so fast. Yeah I can see why he wouldn't wanna think too hard about that. He might... I dunno... have to shift his worldview to actually consider the needy and marginalized.

Over and over he kept trying to frame everything as my fault for 'playing the victim.' and 'being too polarized.' I gave the criticism earnest consideration but nah, it doesn't track. I mean I am polarized but in a standing for something so I won't fall for anything kinda way. He tried to say I was making myself the victim by letting my dad kick me out during the pandemic—said it was my fault for saying I was going to vote for Biden. Mmmkay. So I one-upped him by saying 'actually I knew moving in with my folks was my mistake from day one when my dad refused to let me pay rent. That was totally on me and all I've done is deal with the consequences ever since.' (A thing I've been saying since 2018. And it's silly anyway because my dad actually kicked me out like 4 months prior to that incident for refusing to give up any of my animals to a shelter because he believed it was their fault the AC in my apartment kept breaking [the AC broke again months after I moved out—it was a shitty AC]).

It sucks because deep down I know he still loves Reagan and stays right wing because they're the ones who made him rich. It doesn't matter that they would've rejoiced at his death back then. Even that Reagan effectively tried to kill him with gross negligence. I know that to get rich you can't afford to get hung up on the cost. I know we're each standing in vastly different moral landscapes shaped by our learning and our struggles or lack thereof. I'm pretty sure he doesn't see that. He just knows that I'm wrong so he keeps blindly tossing darts hoping he hits a target that proves he's right about me.

He kept saying something like 'I can love and respect people who disagree with me on all kinds of things. Even people who hate my lifestyle.' —as if I'm not doing exactly that by being here in his house, helping him cook pans of lasagna and potato salad for a bunch of my conservative relatives who are about to spend 24 hours belligerently misgendering me and who I know have voted for candidates up and down every ballot who're actively working to take my rights away & keep me trapped in poverty.

Look, I went in to this conversation desperately wanting any answer that would help me understand his take on this kind of thing. I wanted so badly for him to have a memory of some important historical event that I just wan't aware of yet. I also want to understand how he's been able to forgive the family who treated him so poorly when he came out. Nada. It's always just follow the money. I still hope he'll talk about his own views more (without attacking me) so that I can understand him better, because I still want to think better of him. Because I can and I do love so many people who persecute me. Anyway a little bit later he asked us not to bring up his partner's real estate buying business because the market is 'looking grim'. My hasn't-been-able-to-afford-rent-since-2017-ass was over there going, 'oh noooo that's gotta be so haaaard for him. Lemme just cry a single tear while I'm dicing this onion with one of your new $3000 knives.'

[quinnfabrayapologist]

terfs: femininity is evil and must be abolished from society in all its forms for the female sex to ever be liberated

you: this means terfs love femininity and think women ought to follow the rules of femininity :) i am very smart

Except the most prominent TERF figureheads are actually super pro femininity, as is the average TERF. Like... to such an extent I'm a bit alarmed you don't notice.

There have been multiple instances of butch lesbians and GNC women being harassed in bathrooms by TERFs because they don't look feminine enough:

Butch lesbian opens up about 'increasing harassment' she faces when she uses public toilets (inews.co.uk)

Woman, 22, barred from ladies toilets in M&S after staff mistook her for a man  | Daily Mail Online

Butch Woman Are Facing Transphobia In Public Toilets (refinery29.com)

And TERFs just straight up wanting butch women out of their spaces for the same reasons:

The most prominent figureheads of the anti trans movement in the UK include Baroness Nicholson, who is a member of the House of Lords, and is homophobic and anti choice:

She also links gay marriage to trans existence. Basically she's transphobic because she's homophobic. She also personally engaged with me RE the abortion thing and said that dropping the limit to 12 weeks was intended to stop 3rd tri abortions, which a) start way after 12 weeks, b) are 1% of all abortions, and c) happen either because there was no abortion access in 2nd tri or because most brain development happens in 3rd and so the parent(s) found out the foetus wasn't viable in 3rd tri. She wants to force people who have found out their foetus will not survive outside the womb to be forced to carry to term and birth a stillborn, instead of aborting it weeks earlier.

Kellie-Jay Keen, meanwhile, everyone's favourite tomato soup flavoured hatemonger and far right mouthpiece, has said that teenage girls shouldn't have access to birth control, and that Gillick competency should be revoked. Gillick is meant to assess medical competency in teens, meaning that teenagers in certain situations can make their own medical choices. I personally have Gillick rights to thank for me not becoming a mother at 13 years old, following my being gangraped by my 'boyfriend' and his friends, and Gillick competency letting me get an abortion. If not for Gillick, my dad would have made me see through the pregnancy, and Kellie wants Gillick gone because if teenagers can get birth control, they can get puberty blockers. Funny enough, my pregnancy was also following precocious puberty, where my GP recommended that I, a cis girl, take blockers, and my dad refused. Cis kids actually make up the majority of kids on blockers due to precocious puberty, and they get blockers without issue in most cases, it's just trans kids that have these issues getting a normal medication.

Lloyd Russell-Moyle MP🌹🏳️‍🌈 on Twitter: "Veil slips: Kellie-Jay Keen (aka Posie Parker) says girls/young women shouldn’t access reproductive service without parent permission. Rolling back women’s rights. That’s what “gender critical” is folks - first they come for trans then they come for you. https://t.co/TkWsLTc1eM" / Twitter

She also talks, in this clip, about how 'parents need to take back control of their children'. At several rallies she's said (incorrectly) that 'her side' are older women, and the women on the pro trans side are all young, and that the young women 'will become us' as in older conservative bigots. Not only is this blatantly incorrect, given the sheer number of pro trans older people who exist, but it is yet another reason that Kellie doesn't want kids to have rights. Because she thinks anyone under 40 will grow out of being empathetic to minorities.

This tweet was in response to a cisgender woman with short hair going to a rape survivor's group wearing jeans. This caused a TERF in that group to assume she was a trans man and try and get her kicked out, and then the TERF was barred instead:

Again, this woman had short hair and wore jeans. That's it.

Here's another TERF saying that as her trans daughter is in STEM, she's a man. Pushing that fake narrative about how girls can't be scientists like any good feminist would:

Meanwhile, here are 2 garden variety TERFs offering a list of things that help them ID trans women:

Note the second one, which lists feminine face, gait, demeanour, and voice. Because according to this person, there is a certain way to look, act, and speak feminine. And I had to throw in the first one because it lists 'skin lightness' and 'skull size' as a feminine trait. TERFs never beating the racism allegations.

And speaking of racism allegations, here's Sharron Davies, star of the TERF movement, saying that all of the WOC who won at the Olympics are really men:

And someone saying the quiet part out loud here:

And here's another famous TERF showing what her priorities are in the wake of Roe v Wade:

And on a personal level, here are a list of reasons TERFs have told me, a cis woman, that I am really a trans woman and lying about the cis part:

My nose is too big

My jaw is too square

My chin is too prominent

My forehead is too large

My shoulders are too wide. The person who said this also asked if it was hard to no longer be able to 'play linebacker on the men's team'. I am told this is related to rugby.

My most worn outfit is a button down shirt and jeans. Apparently I have a 'prominent bulge'. So for a cis woman my dick is huge.

My necklines are too high

My necklines are too low (and no woman would show that much of her breasts)

My teeth are crooked

I put 'MA' in my twitter handle after graduating my Masters and no 'real woman' would brag about her academic achievements.

I am a PhD student. This was somehow enough of an indicator that I was trans for someone to call me the t slur.

I argued, at length, in favour of trans people. Apparently a real woman wouldn't argue as much as I did, and the fact I was persistent in pushing my points indicated that I was a man.

I was on the radio, and my voice was low and raspy.

I stood next to a friend, also a cis woman, in a photo, and I was larger than her (because she's a UK size 6 and I'm a UK 10)

My clavicles are straight????

TERFs are strictly enforcing femininity at the expense of women's rights, like the right to healthcare/birth control/abortion. They are showing open contempt for women who don't fit their loose, objective ideal of what a woman is, and making GNC cis women feel that bit less safe in women's spaces because they don't look the way TERFs think they should. They are most likely doing this because the money and power behind the TERF movement is conservative men, including groups like CPAC, who sponsored Kellie's latest tour.

You personally might love birth control and abortion and defying gender roles, and good for you, but if you're a TERF, a radfem, a GC, whatever you want to call yourself, you've aligned yourself with a movement that want women back in the kitchen and back in the alley, staffed by conservatives and keyboard warriors who are just waiting for someone, anyone, to stick their head above the parapet and do something 'unwomanly' or 'unfeminine' so they can invalidate your entire life experience and argument. I, as a woman, very simply refuse to let a bunch of racist, anti choice, conservatives speak for me. If you want that, best of luck to you, but I won't stop calling it out when I see it because I refuse to lose my hard-won rights to appease a radical minority of bigots.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

My favorite character from the Owl House is Hunter because his character arc is so good and his relationship with Willow is adorable. (He literally fell for her at first sight)

And my favorite character from X Men is Kitty (I hate her relationship with Cyclops because she was a CHILD AND HE WAS A GROWN ASS MAN WHEN THEY MEET IN THE COMICS. Also can I just say that I hate that they make Bobby (the guy who does the ice thing) gay because that came out of nowhere and it only happened because an alternative version Jean Gray and her version of Bobby is gay so she decides that all versions of Bobby is gay and she needs to help them be their true self and Bobby who keep in mind has shown sexual and romantic interest in women up to this point 'realizes' he's gay and the rest of the comic is just him coming out to everyone one by one and hardly anything else happens. I wouldn't have minded so much if it wasn't for the fact that most media still treats sexuality like there's only two options gay or straight which completely erases Bisexual, Pansexual, Demisexual, Asexual, to name a few. It just grinds my gears you know anyway sorry for the rant. Kitty deserves a good love interest hopefully she gets one)

I feel like if reader had magic I feel like it would be similar to ether to Luz's or Eda's.

Hunter was so awesome, and he felt relatable, too. He and Willow are cute together, let them have plant and palisman babies!

I like Kitty, and I haven't read the comics (except a handful) so I didn't even know that relationship was thing. (Who the f*ck wrote that?!) I use my favorite X-Men medias as canon, along with head and heart canons, because let's face it: There are so many separate comics with different writers, different movies and timelines, even three (now going to be four) separate X-Men cartoons, whatever books and games they have for the various media, and even the anime and other Marvel shows where the characters show up from time to time. It is SO confusing. So, I just pick my favorite out of the bunch and roll with those (and usually it makes enough sense. Except the timeline changes in the movies. That STILL confuses me. Who is alive? Who is dead? Hopefully Deadpool fixes things).

And yeah, for Bobby, only one version of him was gay. It would have made more senses if they built that into a story arc, took it slowly, instead of being so abrupt. Let the guy be gay or bisexual, but at least make it make sense and not just be considered a quirk or passing fancy. Give it some development. Some thought. Make it mean something. Let it happen like how The Owl House portrays romance and self-discovery. (I myself am part of the asexual community, and that took awhile to figure out, and to this day I'm still finding out more about how I view relationships, platonic or romantic or otherwise. I'm not sure if I truly am interested in romance or not, but in the past I had a crush on a guy and girl, and later found out I just thought they were really great friends). This stuff can take time, it can get messy and feel gut-wrenching, but it doesn't make a person less for being bisexual or gay or lesbian or asexual or straight or trans. None are better than the others, and none are less than the others. It does help to realize all of this isn't back and white. It's a big, mixed canvas of grays in every shade of cloud and ash and silver and stone and eggshell and storm and smoke. (Point is, LGBTQA+ isn't back and white, neither is being straight, but these things are not just quirks. They shouldn't be treated that way, as those are valid beliefs and emotions that don't go away). (I hope I said this right, I'm not always great explaining my thoughts on this kind of thing).

Reader having a power similar to Luz or Eda would be so wild! Surprise, they have glyphs! Surprise, they're part owl beast! They have wild magic, they're blessed by the last Titans, they kicked an evil old emperor/hypocrite into dust! The series finale might have been a little rushed (thanks a LOT, Disney. You should have given them extra time! Extra episodes! A whole lot more episodes than just three for the third season!) but I thought it was still good for the constraints put on Dana and her team. They did good.

[darthkieduss]

A Request of Generation Z from a Millennial Activist.

(If you know Lance Henriksen, please read this in his voice in your head. Best voice actor I’ve ever heard.)

This July 5, 2023, I will leave my twenties and enter my “Dirty Thirties” as my wife calls it.

As time goes on and I grow older, I have a message for the Generation Z. But not just a message, I will also have a request for them. For any “Zoomer” reading this, before I go on, please know this isn’t condescending or looking down on you. This is from one older comrade to the younger comrades. And I personally couldn’t be more proud of your generation TBH.

As 80s millennials enter their 40s and us 90s millennials enter our 30s, just know that unlike the generations that came before, most of us will NEVER forget who we are. We will always remember what it was like to be young. To be thrust into a world that was rigged against us. To crush on a girl in class that you had NO chance with. The senior home coming dance. Getting your driver’s license. Getting your first job. you know. But We also remember telling our parents thing they DIDN’T want to hear. Like coming out as gay or trans. Or not Christian anymore. Or coming out as a Socialist Catholic in my case. Yeah, my parents DID NOT like that. Point is we will always be young at heart. 

We are comrades united because we are fighting for the same cause. The fight you’re fighting now is the same one we stood for when we were teens and you were kids exploring Minecraft. (am I hip yet?) I remember going to pride parades as a straight ally at 21 in the months before Oberefell v. Hodges legalized same sex marriage in 2015. Though I couldn’t vote in 2008 (I was 15), we millennials made the huge turnout to elect the first black man into the White House. I remember getting tear gassed as an “old” 26 year old during the BLM protests.

Let me say as a millennial I am so proud of your generation, Zoomers. You’ve stepped to the mantle when called. In some cases, you’ve outshined us. That’s why I’m asking you, not to revere us millennials, but simply to remember us. Not because we were in the fight first, but because we’ve been in this fight so long and we’re just getting fucking started lol. Remember that unlike us when we were younger, you are not alone. We millennials were alone because we were the first to recognize the rot in the system made by the previous generations, especially the Boomers. But now y’all are coming of age and taking up the fight for our futures. You swell our ranks and I can’t thank you enough. One day as time goes on, we will take this country back. TOGETHER.

We stand with you.

The war against the system is not yet over. It’s only just begun. So as President Kennedy said in his inaugural address, “Let Us Begin.” But we’ve made some victories from 2008 to last years 22 midterms.

In 2020, Millennials and Gen Z united to kick Donald Trump out of the White House.

In 2019, millennials entered Congress for the first time. We Georgians elected the First Millennial to the United States Senate (Jon Ossoff) in 2020-21. And now Maxwell Frost has the honor of the being the first Gen Z in Congress in 2022.

We’ve suffered many losses, but we won the last two elections. These victories belong to each of us. Every man, women and child. Every person in every state.

Now as we take our first steps toward restoring what we lost, we must remember what it took to win. These weren’t victories by a single party, a single voting bloc or a even by a single generation. If this war has taught us anything, it is that we are at our strongest when we work together. And if we could put down our grievances to defeat something as evil as Donald Trump, imagine what we can achieve now that he is defeated. It will take time, but we can rebuild everything that was destroyed. Our homes. Our lives. Our economy and country. All of this and more.

Together we can build a future greater than any one of us could imagine. A future paid for by the sacrifices of those who fought, bled and even died alongside us. A future that many will never see.

And while we still have many challenges ahead of us, We can face them Together. And we will honor those who fell to give us that future.

That’s why I’m asking Gen Z as you come of age and take power, remember us. For we were your age once and one day you will were we are now. And one day, the Generation Alpha that my four nephews belong to will succeed you. For inspiration, look to yourself and your millennial brothers and sisters beside you.

We stand with you so stand with us.

Sincerely, a 1993 Millennial.

PS: please stop eating tide pods. at least cinnamon is meant to be eaten. JFC

[playinhooky]

CW: homophobia, transphobia, suicide/attempted suicide, mentions of OD

My family wishes I was dead.

They don't say it in such a blunt manner, but it's evident now in everything else they say and do. Every "she" and every prayer that I will 'see the light, return to God'.

It is common knowledge to my family that in 2013, I was stockpiling a sleeping medication to overdose and die. I was early in my transition and struggling because no one would use my name or pronouns. I still lived at home, saving and trying to get on testosterone. My sister found the stash because everyone in my family snoops. she found them and she told my mom who told everyone. They disposed of my pills and my plan and just thought I would be okay. but no one ever addressed or asked why I wanted to die.

"I could never go to your wedding if it was to someone of the same sex," my mom tells me one day, I don't even remember the context or what we were talking about, but I was stunned. My mother wouldn't want to see me be happy with the person who makes me the happiest?

"We wouldn't kick you out of the house for [being trans]," she says another time, "it obviously didn't work before [when we thought you were just gay]"

"I imagine it's hard to date like you are, be hard to date someone like you," she never remembers saying these things to me but they're just fucking seared into my brain forever. how she would rather I be miserable and self loathing as long as I was her daughter again. it never mattered that I was starting to find happiness in community with other queers. it never mattered that I was becoming someone that I loved and could look at in the mirror again.

I found prayers she had written out and posted on the bathroom mirror for all to see, that she wished God would make me whole again and bring me back to then, like I'd become some sort of broken and ugly unrecognizable being.

my sister's pretended for ten years to be on "my side" saying the right words, trying not to alienate me. and as soon as I made my decisions more 'real' in their eyes, as soon as I proposed to my queer trans boyfriend, the mask was off. they're afraid of losing me, they say, afraid that when (not if, when) I change my mind that my community will leave me and I will be further broken.

but they know, that I was going to kill myself ten years ago, because no one would treat me like a fucking human being for wanting so desperately to be masculine and perceived as a man. in case they forgot I reminded them I told them that being who I was would have killed me.

but they don't care. they simply insist i am "her", I am their sister. and now I do not believe that they are glad I lived on to become the person I am today. I'm sure they want me to be dead, they want me to be her and that means death.

so I guess that I will be dead to them. because I will not be her ever again.

[sonnyinthesky]

As an aroace lesbian, I hate this take. I see it a lot and it's just....wrong? At least most of the time. Ues, aroaces often face harm and prejudice, however, lesbians typically do face more due to the more wider knowledge of what being a lesbian is and how aggressive the prejudice can become. Typically, as an aroace person, when I say I don't feel attraction, I get confused looks and told its a phase and im just struggling to understand attraction because im autistic. When I say im a lesbian, i get homophobia. I get "thats a sin/youre going to hell" i get "you need help" i get "you are a disgrace" i get "if some guy assaults you maybe youll be fixed" and while I haven't experienced it, i know a lot of lesbian who have been hate crimed. Had slurs thrown at them because they are visibly lesbian (either bc theyre with a partner or they simply "look gay"). Been sexually assaulted because of their sexuality. Been kicked out of functions, religious places/groups, general areas. Been told theyre the reason for the HIV/AIDS crisis because they dare share a community with gay and bisexual men and trans women and dare spend time with their dying friends. Told they deserve to die for being gay. Kicked out of home. Forced into survival sex work. Experienced corrective assault.

Most of this doesn't happen to aces and aros, at least not commonly. Of course being aroace is hard, im not denying that. Aroaces and aspecs in general experience discrimination and are often not accepted. But fuck it is a lot harder to be a lesbian and saying you are a lesbian or implying it in an attempt to stay safe or avoid facing prejudice will not work. It will put you in MORE danger. It is hard to be visibly aspec. Typically people will just assume you're single and not ready to mingle. The implication that you're just not ready yet or havent found the right person sucks and is wrong, however it is significantly less dangerous than the implication that you yourself are a disgusting degenerate who is the cause of world disasters and needs to be fixed or youll be damned to hell. It hurts no matter what side youre on, but you cant really look at someone and know theyre aspec just walking down the street. You CAN look at someone and know theyre a lesbian just walking down the street, or at least assume it based on stereotypes , which homophobes do regularly.

There are overlaps with how aspecs and lesbians are treated. The "you havent found the right ____ yet" thing is common with both. "Corrective" assault happens with both unfortunately. But you unlikely to be booted from church or home for being aspec. Youre unlikely to have slurs thrown at you down the street or even by those you love. You are unlikely to be beaten and bashed and assaulted for telling someone youre aroace when they hit on you. You are unlikely to live in fear when you go out of your house because "what if a man hits on me and i say the truth and get bashed or otherwise assaulted for it."

I want to clarify that i am NOT making an oppression olympics post here. I am trying to share the dangers of saying you're a lesbian vs saying youre aspec with this rather.

I hate when people say its "easier to be a lesbian" or "more acceptable to be a lesbian" because thats not true, and it denies the huge amount of violence and discrimination lesbians face and it also puts YOU in danger because you have been ignorant to that danger.

Yes, among queer people and those accepting of the "typical" queer identities it may be easier to say youre a lesbian, but in general just dont. You are offending lesbians who have experienced prejudice as well as hurting yourself in the process, and especially harming aroace lesbians that have experienced both sides of this.

Also, just dont lie and say/imply youre a lesbian? You could say "im not interested in dating/sex" or something of the like. It puts you in less danger and doesn't harm lesbians.

You wont be "more accepted" as a lesbian. I promise you. Youll just experience a different flavour of discrimination. It also stuffs up your life because saying "im not into dudes" implies you are into women and/or nonbinary/genderqueer/agender folks so even if you arent in danger per-say because you said this to perhaps another queer person, you may greatly inconvenience yourself because youll have to explain anyway that you are aspec when/if someone, who thinks youre a lesbian, tries to set you up with a non man or asks if youre interested in them instead.

TLDR: as an aroace lesbian i find this take harmful

As an asexual aromantic woman, when people ask if I like a man, I go, "Naw, I'm not into dudes." It implies I'm a lesbian.

Because it's more acceptable to be a lesbian than asexual.

[hardcoreheterofashbytrang]

8/4/2024: Message to the trans children coming from a female named Trang as the female Buddha and God him as Jesus' father living as a female. You people make nasty and fugly looking humans in the eyes of heterosexuals. I am sorry to be evil and blunt, but you need to know this before you cut off your God-assigned genitals. If you cut off your genitals and your love interest is in dating heterosexuals, it will be an extremely painful and lonely life like to find that heterosexual love, for true heterosexuals are only into normal and plain humans. Female trans will have nasty man feet, ma hands, man knees, your male hair falls off to become bald, and your sperms make you move like a dude half of the time. Male trans walks like nasty pudgy wudgy man as the eggs in the bodies dictate how the body should walk. If you are truly trans, then fine but don't be hateful and hurt if heterosexuals don't want to date you. Even finding love in the gay world for trans is extremely hard to find for true gay men don't want a man who cut off his genital to have a vagina (true gay men like d_icks). As for trans females, it would be easier for them to find love because the females are more in cuddling than the actual penises; however, after awhile, you will get dumped and feel a lot pain and jealousy for the female eventually returns to the natural penis as her calling from nature. If I was trans, I would way a bit after I am 18 years of age before I cut off my genital. Cutting off your genitals is in the similar road of commitment as buying a house (no more fun and no more freedom), having a child (life sentence in jail), and getting married (no more fun and painful jail the that requires a lot of money get out of), college (no fun temporary), etc. sure you trans will look hot if you cut off your genital before 18, but after 18, it will be the end of your beauty for the original sex will kick in and make you age into the fuckliest humans...the you will cry and develope hate for yourselves and heterosexuals. My advice as God himself as Jesus' father living as a female, don't cut off your genitals if you are not 10,000% sure, but be honest to your love interest how you feel for there are some omega heterosexuals who are seasonally interested in trans thinking. My suggestion is to be transvestites if you are not 10,000% in being trans: men dressing like women in the weekends, and females dressing like males 4 days a week. That way, it's easier to live in a heterosexual world without getting mad in your gun shooting, still have stable jobs and health insurance, a lot easier to find love, and less hate in your bodies and heterosexuals. As Trang, luckily, I never questioned my genitals even though I am God as Jesus' father living as a female; however, but this hardcore heterosexuality of God as Jesus' father made me suffered in immense physical and mental as a loner who nearly died and became a disabled, mental, lost my condo,lost 16.2 years to have biological children, and a semi-homeless because it's extremely hard to find a hardcore heterosexual man with hardcore heterosexual sperms and hardcore heterosexual penis. This, I chose a life of loneliness and a spinster and who people to release my anger. The only thing that saved me is forcing myself to think that I can't have everything in life so move on as if life on the planet has to continue and so does life in the universe. Days when it becomes painful, I cry myself to sleep and tomorrow is another day that I have survived because in this life, I, Trang as a hardcore heterosexual female, can never fall in love with a man like other heterosexual girls fall in love with their men-- a hardcore heterosexual humane male doesn't exist for a human male turns gay when there's no female around. It's the number weakest in humans that I hate. But I move on forcing myself to pray to survived this life and dream on a race of humans where the males don't need to turn gay when there's no females around. Trang's work at 51.24 years old.

[iwantjobs]

8/4/2024: Message to the trans children coming from a female named Trang as the female Buddha and God him as Jesus' father living as a female. You people make nasty and fugly looking humans in the eyes of heterosexuals. I am sorry to be evil and blunt, but you need to know this before you cut off your God-assigned genitals. If you cut off your genitals and your love interest is in dating heterosexuals, it will be an extremely painful and lonely life like to find that heterosexual love, for true heterosexuals are only into normal and plain humans. Female trans will have nasty man feet, ma hands, man knees, your male hair falls off to become bald, and your sperms make you move like a dude half of the time. Male trans walks like nasty pudgy wudgy man as the eggs in the bodies dictate how the body should walk. If you are truly trans, then fine but don't be hateful and hurt if heterosexuals don't want to date you. Even finding love in the gay world for trans is extremely hard to find for true gay men don't want a man who cut off his genital to have a vagina (true gay men like d_icks). As for trans females, it would be easier for them to find love because the females are more in cuddling than the actual penises; however, after awhile, you will get dumped and feel a lot pain and jealousy for the female eventually returns to the natural penis as her calling from nature. If I was trans, I would way a bit after I am 18 years of age before I cut off my genital. Cutting off your genitals is in the similar road of commitment as buying a house (no more fun and no more freedom), having a child (life sentence in jail), and getting married (no more fun and painful jail the that requires a lot of money get out of), college (no fun temporary), etc. sure you trans will look hot if you cut off your genital before 18, but after 18, it will be the end of your beauty for the original sex will kick in and make you age into the fuckliest humans...the you will cry and develope hate for yourselves and heterosexuals. My advice as God himself as Jesus' father living as a female, don't cut off your genitals if you are not 10,000% sure, but be honest to your love interest how you feel for there are some omega heterosexuals who are seasonally interested in trans thinking. My suggestion is to be transvestites if you are not 10,000% in being trans: men dressing like women in the weekends, and females dressing like males 4 days a week. That way, it's easier to live in a heterosexual world without getting mad in your gun shooting, still have stable jobs and health insurance, a lot easier to find love, and less hate in your bodies and heterosexuals. As Trang, luckily, I never questioned my genitals even though I am God as Jesus' father living as a female; however, but this hardcore heterosexuality of God as Jesus' father made me suffered in immense physical and mental as a loner who nearly died and became a disabled, mental, lost my condo,lost 16.2 years to have biological children, and a semi-homeless because it's extremely hard to find a hardcore heterosexual man with hardcore heterosexual sperms and hardcore heterosexual penis. This, I chose a life of loneliness and a spinster and who people to release my anger. The only thing that saved me is forcing myself to think that I can't have everything in life so move on as if life on the planet has to continue and so does life in the universe. Days when it becomes painful, I cry myself to sleep and tomorrow is another day that I have survived because in this life, I, Trang as a hardcore heterosexual female, can never fall in love with a man like other heterosexual girls fall in love with their men-- a hardcore heterosexual humane male doesn't exist for a human male turns gay when there's no female around. It's the number weakest in humans that I hate. But I move on forcing myself to pray to survived this life and dream on a race of humans where the males don't need to turn gay when there's no females around. Trang's work at 51.24 years old.

[reducingpollutionbytrang]

8/1/2024: Message to the trans children coming from a female named Trang as the female Buddha and God him as Jesus' father living as a female. You people make nasty and fugly looking humans in the eyes of heterosexuals. I am sorry to be evil and blunt, but you need to know this before you cut off your God-assigned genitals. If you cut off your genitals and your love interest is in dating heterosexuals, it will be an extremely painful and lonely life like to find that heterosexual love, for true heterosexuals are only into normal and plain humans. Female trans will have nasty man feet, ma hands, man knees, your male hair falls off to become bald, and your sperms make you move like a dude half of the time. Male trans walks like nasty pudgy wudgy man as the eggs in the bodies dictate how the body should walk. If you are truly trans, then fine but don't be hateful and hurt if heterosexuals don't want to date you. Even finding love in the gay world for trans is extremely hard to find for true gay men don't want a man who cut off his genital to have a vagina (true gay men like d_icks). As for trans females, it would be easier for them to find love because the females are more in cuddling than the actual penises; however, after awhile, you will get dumped and feel a lot pain and jealousy for the female eventually returns to the natural penis as her calling from nature. If I was trans, I would way a bit after I am 18 years of age before I cut off my genital. Cutting off your genitals is in the similar road of commitment as buying a house (no more fun and no more freedom), having a child (life sentence in jail), and getting married (no more fun and painful jail the that requires a lot of money get out of), college (no fun temporary), etc. sure you trans will look hot if you cut off your genital before 18, but after 18, it will be the end of your beauty for the original sex will kick in and make you age into the fuckliest humans...the you will cry and develope hate for yourselves and heterosexuals. My advice as God himself as Jesus' father living as a female, don't cut off your genitals if you are not 10,000% sure, but be honest to your love interest how you feel for there are some omega heterosexuals who are seasonally interested in trans thinking. My suggestion is to be transvestites if you are not 10,000% in being trans: men dressing like women in the weekends, and females dressing like males 4 days a week. That way, it's easier to live in a heterosexual world without getting mad in your gun shooting, still have stable jobs and health insurance, a lot easier to find love, and less hate in your bodies and heterosexuals. As Trang, luckily, I never questioned my genitals even though I am God as Jesus' father living as a female; however, but this hardcore heterosexuality of God as Jesus' father made me suffered in immense physical and mental as a loner who nearly died and became a disabled, mental, lost my condo,lost 16.2 years to have biological children, and a semi-homeless because it's extremely hard to find a hardcore heterosexual man with hardcore heterosexual sperms and hardcore heterosexual penis. This, I chose a life of loneliness and a spinster and who people to release my anger. The only thing that saved me is forcing myself to think that I can't have everything in life so move on as if life on the planet has to continue and so does life in the universe. Days when it becomes painful, I cry myself to sleep and tomorrow is another day that I have survived because in this life, I, Trang as a hardcore heterosexual female, can never fall in love with a man like other heterosexual girls fall in love with their men-- a hardcore heterosexual humane male doesn't exist for a human male turns gay when there's no female around. It's the number weakest in humans that I hate. But I move on forcing myself to pray to survived this life and dream on a race of humans where the males don't need to turn gay when there's no females around. Trang's work at 51.24 years old.

[thewolfmanny]

i dont normally like these kinds of aus, but i realized i could make everyone as gay and trans as i wanted and ran with it so...okay i have a lotta thoughts about my house of l3sbians au that im just gonna dump here below the cut...

i wanted salima to still have ties to the republican guard and felt it is essential to her character arc with jason. however, women cannot serve period, but that's okay here! did you know that you can get your transition paid for by the iranian government? trans people aren't necessarily living perfect lives in the middle east, but in some places, they'd rather you transition to a straight woman than be a gay man. anyway, i had this thought of how much more interesting it would be for salima to be a trans woman trying to escape her past, but needing to use the skills she learned to survive, run into her old captain dar, and come face to face with female Marines (she didnt even know women could serve). she'd need to reconcile with her involvement with the RG and abandoning her family to transition. anyway,

jason is a gender neutral name!! and i love the song a boy named sue by johnny cash hehe so this felt appropriate for jason. i love butch d**kes (i am one) and i love like this idea of a stoner who joins the Marines to make something out of her life but she discovers she essentially has to work a desk job cuz women are not allowed in direct combat. however, at a routine checkpoint stop (her squad always had to do checkpoints), she made the wrong call and got a woman killed, turning her pretty boring deployment so far really ugly and real. i imagine jason would be one of those WE ARE LIBERATING YOUR WOMEN kinda feminists until she realizes what a fucking idiot she is about it cuz its a lot more complicated than she thinks when she meets salima

nikki is my bleeding heart romantic stud who is still sleeping with rachel and wants to kick eric's ass, but she's way in over her head. also, she definitely has feelings for jason except they're just gals being pals you know and neither of them talk about it or how they cuddle at sleepovers

in this au, nikki/jason/salima get together and so do clarice/rachel. eric gets turned into a vampire, im sorry

the end

[ineffably-human]

Crowley and Aziraphale are queer-coded on purpose. That’s what their story is ABOUT.

In this essay, I will - no, seriously, bear with me here.

So Good Omens is about religion and faith, right? And the ways those things (and the stories we’re told ABOUT those things) impact our choices. So we get storylines about free will, church misogyny, use of power, loss of innocence. And along with their individual character arcs and conflicts, Crowley and Aziraphale are queer people’s relationship with the church.

Aziraphale’s human form is coded as a gay man. It is text that he lives in a traditionally gay district, he ‘reads’ as gay. Book!Aziraphale collects Oscar Wilde first editions. He doesn’t have a biological sex, fine. In his day to day life among human beings, though, that’s how we understand him.

Aziraphale is also very clearly pining for a relationship with another male-coded person. It’s a relationship he feels he can’t have because it’s sinful and bad. It doesn’t matter if that’s kissing or a picnic; it’s a relationship, it’s intimate and special, and it’s forbidden. 

Because he’s repressed, he’s built up little compromises over the years and compartmentalized these different facets of himself. And all of that leads to him locking down out of fear when he has to make a big decision and ask some hard questions. 

Crowley has been literally burned by religion. His Dad/Mom kicked him out of the house for being sinful and bad (aka questioning the rules), for hanging out with troublemakers. He sees the everyday hypocrisy and he’s angry; he hides it under an aesthetic of cool, but it clearly still hurts. He still wants answers to his questions. He’s also taken on the rejection as his own identity, even if he’s different from his peers. He isn’t a demon who is, deep down, as ‘nice’ as an angel. He’s “unforgivable.” 

And even though his relationship with Aziraphale is still a direct risk, he’s lonely, he cares for him, and he doesn’t have a lot to lose. So he’s reckless with his own safety, at times, which Aziraphale finds frightening. And when he thinks about being found out, and facing the consequences of that, he’d rather take extreme measures. (Crowley never denies that the holy water could be used for suicide. It’s also very telling that Aziraphale’s mind goes straight to that, instead of self-defense.)

Notice I didn’t say a thing about all the flirty things we like to gif and fic and gush about. Yeah, it absolutely helps that it’s framed as a love story, with epiphanies and breakups and rescues and ‘run away with me’. And all of those are taken from the love story toolkit for a reason, it’s not a coincidence. I don’t think we need to hear ‘I love you’ or get a kiss for a love story to be text (especially when all the publicity material has the people involved saying ‘this is a romance’ or ‘I am playing someone falling in love’).

But in the context of Good Omens, a comedy/satire about how people use and interpret religion? These are queer stories, except Heaven and Hell are the issue instead of orientation and gender. They’re the stories of how people who are different deal with a world that rejects them, tells them they’re not “normal” and they have to fit themselves to the mold or die. When Gabriel tells Adam “you can’t just refuse to be who you are,” I thought of the experience of trans and nb friends as well. Of course you can refuse if that’s never who you were to start with.

And metaphors can suck, I know, when they don’t actually represent the people involved. If Crowley and Aziraphale were a male-female pair, this would not work at all. But they’re played by two men, one of them very gay-coded, in a story told as a romance. So as far as I’m concerned, at least, it works very well. I’m 100% on board with Neil Gaiman’s take on “the show is the show, and anything else is your personal truth.” The more I think about it, though, this is what I’m seeing is there.

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Mystery Baby Theatre, Part 1

(Short Story Post, 1/6)

“Hola, I am Carloco, and welcome back to another episode of ‘Mystery Baby Theatre’! My fiancé, Reggie Twink is here with us. Reg, show the locas what you’re wearing. Driving me crazy over here... Damn.” Reggie came over to his partner, showing off a faded maroon crop top over his pale mostly slim body. The curve of his belly so far could only be caught from a profile view, so he did a little turn, cupping the base of his abdomen. “That’s right, loca. It’s that time of the year. Another little enigma is on the way.” Nine years they’d been together and to think it started as a fluke. When they first met, Carlos’s channel ‘Carloco’, described by some as ‘the Gay Man’s Jackass’, was an overnight hit, and Reggie’s own more established channel, ‘Reggie Twink’ had been doing well for two years already, discussing the sexual experience of trans men.  They hooked up for the clout, but they didn’t expect to actually get along so well and when Reggie’s pregnancy announcement video went viral, they figured it was time to commit and moved in together. “What are we on now, Reg? So many kids…” Carlos asked. “Seven? Eight?”

“This is baby número nueve,” Reggie replied holding up his fingers. “Is that right? Nine?” Carlos grinned and bit Reggie’s ear. “Perfect. You know I love it when you speak Spanish…” Reggie grinned, rubbing between Carlos’s legs. “Thank god these babies aren’t symphonies, or else this’d be the end for us.” Carlos rolled his eyes. “Babe, nobody gets your classical music jokes…” “A lot of composers died after making their ninth symphony,” Reggie explained, pouting. “I thought it was funny…” “Hm, we can edit that out later.” “Babe!” “I’m joking, I’m joking!” Carlos chuckled. “Calm down. I love you. You’re the smart one.” “That’s right. You’re lost without me.” “I really am…” Their first pregnancy, though extremely popular with the fans, had been quite a struggle for the couple. They were both still technically in college at the time, so time and money were limited. Reggie struggled through his year but he was determined to achieve academically and chose to retire his channel so he could concentrate on school and his pregnancy. Carlos on the other hand dropped out of college to do videos full-time. Many fans were heartbroken by Reggie’s retirement, so ‘Reggie Twink’ came back for the birth of their son, in all it’s graphic glory, as a feature on Carlos’s channel. The video was taken down within minutes, but fans had managed to download it anyway and it had been reuploaded by fans countless times. Videos they made later featuring baby boy Vance became incredibly popular and the channel started really taking off with the little family on screen. But it wasn’t always sunshine and daisies. Scandal broke out when photos came out of Reggie caught in public kissing a mystery man. This came just shortly after Carlos and Reggie announced baby number two was on the way. Reggie denied the photos, claiming the man in them didn’t look anything like him, but then the mystery man himself, Carlos’s own friend and hairstylist, admitted to an affair with Reggie, leading to Reggie’s own confession. It wasn’t just the mystery man, however. He admitted to having three other misters he’d been sleeping with since he started dating Carlos. “Breaking up with Reggie Twink” became Carloco’s most viewed video that year. When everyone thought it was over however, Carlos came out and proposed to Reggie. It came as a shock to everyone and the internet went insane. Carlos admitted that he didn’t mind Reggie sleeping with other men and in fact found it to be a huge turn on. The truth was, he was a mess without Reggie and the notion that the baby inside his stomach at that moment was highly likely some other man’s child drove him wild with lust. He wanted to be there for Reggie no matter what and if he was willing to be his husband, he wanted to live with no one else. The fans had never heard of a crazier love story and they ate it all up. When baby Brynn came, the birth video was uploaded again, and Carlos gave her his surname, letting everyone know he was serious about raising Reggie’s children. Not long after, Reggie was pregnant again, and the couple were open about the high likelihood that the baby was not biologically Carlos’s. The fans started spreading theories on who the true biological father could be based on the men Reggie was seen associating with. At this point, Carloco was doing so well, the couple was living easy and in luxury. Carlos hired a small team of staff to help with the production of his videos and every member with a penis was considered a possible baby daddy. Reggie’s belly got huge and it was soon revealed that he was having twins. The birth this time was much riskier, but it was still recorded like the last two and the twins were born naturally. Oddly, they had incredibly different features, and after paternity tests were done, they found out that Reggie had actually managed to get pregnant by two different men, neither of which were Carlos. Once again, the children were given the Fuerte name and were equally loved by the family. After the twins, Reggie took a little break from pregnancy. Family videos became a common feature on Carloco and they were seen doing everything together. Carlos continued to do his jackass style comedy on his channel, but nothing brought in the views quite like Reggie’s pregnancies. It wasn’t too long after that realisation that the bump began to swell again. Paternity speculations began to swarm again, and Reggie fed them by snapping pics with random men and throwing them up on his social media. No one could guess who he’d slept with and many were pretty sure he didn’t know either. Many were hoping for twins again, or maybe triplets, but he didn’t get very big and it seemed he wasn’t going to be able one up his past pregnancy. Until the baby came out with a tail. And not just any tail, a fish tail. People couldn’t believe it. Reggie had given birth to merspawn. This was the first time the couple made national news. Videos involving the merbaby trended for weeks and the family couldn’t even go outside without being harassed for photographs with the latest edition of the family. They were contacted by the APID multitude of times, but they refused to cooperate with the government beyond registering their child as non-human. Their fame made them wealthy beyond expectation and they moved into a bigger house in a more remote location to get away from the paparazzi. This didn’t stop their videos though, and it didn’t stop Reggie’s pregnancies. After the merbabe, a wolf child. After the werewolf, a cat spirit. After kitten, a Yulinian baby. It seemed there was no end to series of Reggie’s half-human line of children and they’d started to call the pregnancy videos ‘Mystery Baby Theatre’. Now with another on the way, the fans couldn’t even fathom what species Reggie had managed to impregnate himself with this time. “How many weeks?” Carlos asked, pulling Reggie into his lap in front of the camera. It was a living room shot and they were just chilling on their couch. The kids were being looked after by the nanny so they could film in peace. “Just five,” Reggie said, stroking his stomach. “Though I could swear I can already feel it kicking.” “Maybe you can. The only thing you’ve let me know is that it’s not human.” Carlos placed a hand on Reggie’s belly and held it there. He was always obsessed with Reggie’s belly through every pregnancy and videos with the two of them, he was always seen with his hand placed possessively on his fiancé’s middle, reminding everyone that these babies were his, no matter who put them in there. “Definitely not human,” Reggie said confidently. No one knew how Reggie managed to find his baby daddies. None of the fathers had ever come forward to claim their children and it was believed they had some kind of contract with the couple not to. As far as anyone could tell, Carlos was taking his fatherhood very seriously and he shared his time with all his children equally, not prioritising his blood in any way. He loved all the children and they regularly featured on his channel, chilling with their dads and showing off their little talents. They’d even started a channel for their eldest, Vance, whom at eight years old, was already his own little personality and liked to do fashion reviews and reaction videos. “So whatcha got brewing in there, huh?” Carlos asked, giving Reggie's belly a pat. “A fairy? El chupacabra? A dragon?” “Wouldn't you like to know...” Reggie smirked and framed his stomach with his hands. “You'll just have to wait like everyone else.” Carlos grinned and pinched Reggie's cheek. “Driving me wild, babe.” Reggie pulled his face away from the pinch and chuckled. “What's on the agenda today?” “Q&A, príncipe. The fans want to know all about everything.” “Okay, any questions for me?” “Of course. The locas want to know everything. Who wouldn't want to know about you?” Carlos called his Carloco followers his locas and they were numerous. Locas from around the globe wanted in on this supernaturally mixed family. Carlos had hired one of his staff specifically for public relations and sorting through all the comments for worthwhile questions for his Q&As. “Start with a question for me then,” Reggie insisted, waiting for Carlos to pull them up. “Okay, okay. Hold on.” Carlos scrolled to the Reggie section of his list of questions. “Ah. 'When is Reggie going to take over the channel'? Feels like you have already.” “That's right. I own 51% of this company,” Reggie grinned. “Another one.” “Hm. ‘What number will they stop at? Reggie can't possibly give birth to endless babies.’” Reggie just shrugged. “We'll stop when I'm ready. I might never be ready.” “Yeah, you'll be ninety-five, pushing out an eight-legged horse, Loki-to.” “Was that...a Spanish pun?” “Si, mi amor. You're supposed to laugh.” “Oh. Ahahahah.” “You're lucky I find you so damn sexy...” Reggie smiled and kissed Carlos's neck. “Another question.” Carlos smirked and scrolled down on his laptop. “Okay... ‘I need need need Reggie's postpartum workout routine and I need it stat. Didn't have a baby or anything. Just fat.’” Reggie laughed genuinely at that. “Oh, sweetheart... I'm sure your body is absolutely beautiful, but if you really need to lose some weight, I recommend talking to your doctor before trying any kind of workout. What works for me won't necessarily work for everyone else.” “So basically, you're going to keep your secrets,” Carlos deduced. Reggie's lips curled. “Maybe. Next question.” Carlos scrolled down. “Okay, one for me please. Ah. ‘When is Carloco going to free climb that redwood tree like he promised umpteen videos ago?’ That is a good question. We looked into it. My researchers said it'd be too dangerous... So, soon. Lo prometo.” Reggie rubbed Carlos's shoulder. “Don't hurt yourself, babe. I need you.” Carlos turned and gave Reggie a peck on the lips. “Te quiero, mi amor. But no promises.” “Another question for me now,” Reggie decided, leaning forward and scrolling the laptop himself. “Ooh, here’s a good one. ‘Will Reggie singlehandedly repopu—” He was suddenly cut off by a sudden urge to puke. He covered his mouth and tried to hold it down, but suddenly black bile escaped through the cracks of his fingers. Carlos jumped up in alarm. “Reg? What… Are you okay?” Reggie nodded but rushed off, dashing to the closest bathroom. Carlos frowned and picked up the camera, heading over to his partner in a jog while retching could be heard off-screen. When he got there, Reggie was bent over the toilet holding his stomach. He’d taken his glasses off which was a sign to Carlos that this was serious. When he looked into the toilet, it was pitch black. Carlos knelt down and rubbed Reggie’s back. “Are you okay? Feeling any better?” Reggie nodded again, panting to recover his breath. “…Towel.” “Of course.” Carlos pulled a towel down from the rack and soaked the edge. With it, he started wiping Reggie’s face. This wasn’t the first morning sickness they’d dealt with by a long shot. Of course, it had never come out pitch black before, but then again it was a mystery creature pregnancy. They’d started to expect weird things like this. Reggie turned over and put his hand on Carlos’s arm. “Babe… Camera… I don’t like being sick on camera.” “Right, right… We’ll be right back, locas.” Carlos turned off the camera and grinned. “Very dramatic, babe.” Reggie chuckled, rubbing his stomach. “You can thank this kid for that. I did not expect this shit…” He leaned over and flushed the toilet, letting the bile wash away. “Think we should be concerned?” Carlos asked. “Naw… I’m already feeling better. Help me up.” Carlos stood up and pulled Reggie up along with him. “Can’t believe you’re willing to go through all this. I don’t think I could handle being pregnant.” “It’s not for the feint of heart, I’ll tell you that.” Reggie stretched. “I’m hungry. Are you gonna keep filming or do you want to lunch with me?” “I want to do everything with you,” Carlos insisted. “What are we craving today?” “Hmmm… I have a serious wine craving.” “That’s not food, babe. And do you think it’s safe?” “Trust me, whatever’s growing inside me can handle it. I promise.” “Okay, but I’ll make us some sandwiches too,” Carlos said before leaving a big kiss on Reggie’s cheek then heading to the kitchen. Reggie took a moment to wash and moisturise his face before going to join his partner.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

[mylifeinchapters]

Chapter 3

Woof so last night was a something. Nothing too special but it was the 2nd day of jam-packed activity and it left me very tired. After work I went back to my apartment because it is easier to do my online therapy with Jane from my apartment then from my parent’s house. I got there and started to prep dinner when I got a knock at the door and surprise. It was the landlord telling me he had not gotten to my bathroom yet. (sarcastic yay) So he told me that Thursday will be the day it will get done and again I was like “OK but the mold” which he seemed to brush off. The mold is bad, but it stopped smelling as bad, I guess. Still bad and still bad enough for me to sleep at my parents. After he left I jumped online to talk with Jane. We just went over the course of the week. It’s weird that I don’t recognize that my life is stressful until some is like “yeah I can understand your anxiety you’ve been experiencing a lot of change lately” and then I reflect on that and I go “yeah you’re right how did I miss that” I feel a bit dumb because it so obvious.

Then came the rough part Rainbow Circle. I truly don’t know what to do with this group. I want it to keep going but people keep not showing up. I also don’t have topics to really talk about. Pause for a second. Rainbow Circle is an LGBTQ+ Christian group that I facilitate. I’m not the leader I just sorta get people together but I also feel like I’m kind of the leader and it is fizzling. The only people who showed up were John and Maryann. Suzanne bailed at the last second and I was so upset because I wanted to chat with her and also because she would be some who would talk. I am not a talker. I am a reactor. I add to the conversation and add insight and quips, but I am not good at generating conversation. Thankfully John is a talker, so we mostly talked about John’s problems/questions.

Maryann is confusing. I don’t think she wants to be at Rainbow Circle. I think she feels obligated to go for some reason, but she doesn’t like a lot of the people there and I don’t think she likes me anymore and I know people don’t like her and are avoiding RC because she is there. It’s annoying to know that if I kicked out Maryann maybe 2 people who I do like would come back. But that’s not the Christian thing to do.

But the way I have been treated by Christians I don’t know if I would even consider myself a Christian anymore. I’m very burned out by Christianity and its rules that say I am not good enough because I am gay. I’ve lived with that way thinking all my life and it is bullshit! I hate it and I hate the people think less of the LGBTQ+ Christians. So why do a facilitate a Christian group. I don’t know anymore. The rules of being a good Christian that I grew up with are wrong. God has not changed, I still think God loves me as I am, a HOMOSEXUSAL!!!!  but I have grown past the teachings of my childhood, I understand more. To quote the Tilda Swinton from Doctor Strange, “You’re a man looking at the world through a keyhole. You’ve spent your whole life trying to widen that keyhole, to see more, to know more. And now, on hearing that it can be widened in ways you can’t imagine, you reject the possibility.” Unlike Benedict Cumberbatch I have not rejected the possibility that God is bigger than the doctrine I was taught and that looking at the keyhole (AKA religion or God or faith) from a different perspective has given me a bigger idea of who God is. Not being stuck in rigid teaching has shown me more about myself and God. To quote Iroh from Avatar the Last Airbender, “It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.” (honestly there are a ton of Iroh quotes. Maybe I’ll do post on them).

Then in what still feels like blasphemy I said out loud to people that I think other religions still lead to the same God and I know the 2009 version of me would have had a heart attack and would be very concerned for the 2021 version of me’s soul. I’m OK and I don’t know if that’s where I exactly land but it doesn’t feel completely wrong either so I am sitting with it for now. What started and as a conversation about John letting his son participate in communion transformed into a theological discussion on merits of institutionalized doctrine that goes against our understanding of who God is. In hindsight it was a good conversation and presents be me with a lot to chew. Like If the church is wrong about LGBTQ+ matters what else are they wrong about? How much of the teaching I learned as kid do I keep and what do I throw away? Can I even throw away aspects of a religion? If I do, aren’t I just created a new religion?  That’s why we have some many Christian denominations right? I think this is why I am still in the group even if it was just me and John talking. It challenges me and my views of God and I still, deep down, I want to be connected to a Christina group. I still like God and I still frame myself in relationship to God…even when it’s negative thoughts. It’s ingrained in me and I don’t think that is a bad thing. I closed out the night in prayer and I rushed to the gym.

I weighed myself before the Gym and I am still 190. Yeah, I have made some poor food choices since being at my parents but in no way has it been detrimental to my diet. I’ve been to the gym every day, and I have been eating within my calorie range…probably. I don’t eat all day and then I eat a ton of food at night and when I mean a ton of food let’s take last night as an example. Dinner was asparagus and salmon, very low calorie so I upped my calories by eating pumpkin seeds, then I ate some wild rice, but the big mistake was eating a giant frosted cookie the size of a CD. It was good but I also don’t know how many calories I ate. I had 1800 calories to play with so I should be fine…right?

I went to the gym and nothing crazy happened. I did back and 1 chest exercise. I avoided the personal trainer who is “helping me lose weight” because I have a session with him the next day. But man, personal trainer sessions are a rip off. They are so dumb. I am paying someone to be my spotter. Its dumb and I have not lost any weight. But I do like how I look. I’m giving off muscle bear vibes which is a look I really like. So I’m happy with how I look, I just want to lose some of the fat. I think I just want to define the chest more and sort of smooth out the gut. If I could look like the below picture I’d be happy.  

After the gym I shopped for pumpkin seeds and grabbed popcorn and chips. Popcorn just in case I got hungry and chips for the podcast. I won’t eat the chips until Monday. Then I went to my parents. At this point it’s 9pm and my mom is curiously still up milling around. She just wanted to watch TV with me I guess but I felt weird having her watch people explain the Dragonball Fighterz update patch so I decided to test my mom. I put on ContraPoints video essay about Envy. Would mom be bothered by a socialist transwoman talking about 1 of the 7 deadly sins? Since Natalie didn’t overtly say she was trans or a socialist it wasn’t a good test, but it was a good video even if it did put mom to sleep. I think we made it halfway through before I stopped it and she went to bed. I never got her feedback on the video and I don’t think I will ask. Is it weird that I am recounting the previous day in my journal entries….hmmmmm probably.

Work is boring and I just want the day to be over.