#i am not gonna tag everyone in here lmao
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🥳 HAPPY APRIL FOOLS 🥳
(belated) (sorry it's late i damaged my tablet at the very day) (but it is working again!! yay!!)
#april fools 2024#april fools#the apothecary diaries#sousou no frieren#dungeon meshi#mdzs#cardcaptor sakura#voltron legendary defender#garfield the cat#(art)#(fanart)#(april2024)#i am not gonna tag everyone in here lmao#to the person in instagram who put in garfield - thank u i love u#yes i did the nozaki-kun meme again!! if it aint broke dont fix it!!
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shenanigans
#pizza tower#peppino#pepperman#the noise#gustavo#spicy hot#suggestive#ONLY A LITTLE#heehee i am FREE from my commission shackles. this is a threat AND warning#gonna post some of the ACTUALLY not sfw stuff soon i think; dont wanna make a twitter for it#they wont be in the main tags but ill put them behind some jokey joke meme pic and then a readmore#bc like even if u put a readmore to cover the images. when its recommended to others from a DIFFERENT post#the first image u used still pops up any way#and i dont want to put peptitties out for everyone to see LMAO#anyway#ive had this idea for ages; peppino getting stuck w pepperman on the their way to a gala#and pepperman is like do not worry my friend; i will simply call in a helicopter to come pick us up :)#and peppino is like WHAT?? dont do that !!!! its just a flat; i can fix that!#but i just now thought of adding the others lol i wanted an excuse to draw them w some fancy hair :)!#noise is like. um. theres no way I can sit here for 20 minutes and NOT embarrass myself. im going to find a rock to sit on#and not look at him#self imposed timeout and naughty shame corner#gustavos comment is from a tag i saw on a post that made me scream laugh#and pepperman watches intently bc that is his muse and he likes committing peppinos form to memory heehee
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kagepro day...
#kagerou project#kagepro#ayano tateyama#cw suicide#<- mainly since main mv based on yeah....#listen i have been redrawing ayano scenes from the mvs for....#8? EIGHT?!?! years now#in a rotation of four songs#every august#i was not gonna stop this year SAFASDA#this just so happens to be the first time i am posting one of them!!#since i did not post anything. ever. before. lmao#maybe one day i will release older ones since i do think it is a solid tracker#of like my own art progression#but the other half of me is like....#old art..... oh......#oh kagerou project#you are so important to me for various reasons#and for the longest time one (1) yearly ayano drawing was like....#one of the few art things i would get myself to actually finish throughout the entire year#so very important to me art wise!!#but ofc kagepro is ALSO important for various... other reasons... that i will not be rambling about today!#and for those of u here for stars#dw i still have plenty... probably too many?#ideas!! and something is gonna be going up#uh today??? i guess??#for that since this day also ended up being the finale stream day of stars#for my dear friend squid#tag talk over i ran out of tags editing to make sure THIS DOESNT SHOW UP IN THE WRONG TAGS ASFASDASFASDA#ack it still shows up welp. sorry everyone!!!!
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The victim of tonights Devil's Minion obsession is (drum roll!) Lenard Cohen!! special attention paid to two songs off You Want it Darker.
Please consider
Leaving the Table:
Old!Daniel after regaining past memories of being with Armand and trying to get ahead of it all and reject him right away.
"I'm leaving the table I'm out of the game I don't know the people In your picture frame If I ever loved you or no, no It's a crying shame if I ever loved you If I knew your name"
but still feels that connection renewed and familiarity even as he draws away from him
"We're spending the treasure, oh, no, no That love cannot afford I know you can feel it The sweetness restored"
You Want It Darker:
Vampire!Daniel reasonably bitter with Armand about their history
"There's a lover in the story But the story's still the same"
"I struggled with some demons They were middle-class and tame"
but starting to embrace his future
"I didn't know I had permission To murder and to maim"
as well as looking to Armand as his maker to offer guidance while still being this mix of hesitant (perhaps a bit of sarcasm from Cohen in the above quoted line?) and ready to embrace his changed nature
"You want it darker We kill the flame"
Also maybe
"Hineni, hineni I'm ready, my Lord"
as the moment of turning (did he want to be turned? I think so. Did he ask for it from Armand? Much less likely IMO. ++ don't speak Hebrew/not Jewish/just skimmed google disclaimer) something about "here I am" as an "I'm ready" statement speaks to (an end to) the chase elements of their story to me.
Also also also the idea that what Armand wants ("you want it darker") might finally be the same as what Daniel wants ("to murder and to maim") That is for Daniel to be a vampire .... its so good to me. Needing permission to go off the rails and returning that permission with loving reverence. Finally being on the same page after so long.
#is Daniel jewish?#keep reading fic where he's jewish#but I can't tell if thats just a popular head cannon or if theres evidence#have not done a religious themes rewatch but did a lil thinking about it w/ TVA book re Armand bc its pretty unavoidable#but of course Daniel wouldn't be in that one *sigh*#and of course show!Armand is unlikely to be Russian orthodox lmao#iwtv#iwtv meta#daniel molloy#Armand#Devil's Minion#Armand/Daniel#of course the songs appear on the album in opposite the order I listed them here but this way makes more sense for this particular analysis#oops I spoke#I'm just gonna start tagging my original posts with a timestamp as a reminder to everyone that I most make posts in the middle of the night#2:11 AM
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Wanna write to escape crushing loneliness but I hate every word I put down :)
#shade speaks#vent#it’s tiny but for tags sake#I love living with a friend group that isn’t mine#super nice peeps but I am so lonely it’s not even funny :)#I feel like I’m left out of everyone’s lives :)))#someone put me out of my misery#I’m not even a side character at this point#I feel like a nuisance and I can’t even do anything#this stinks#whoever said college was gonna be the best years of my life#I didn’t believe you#and you’re a fucking liar#don’t mind me I’m wallowing on my blog lmao#also going home sucks cause my parents and I keep fighting lol#I just live far from everyone I know :(#and I don’t really have any friends up here#well I have four but they have their own lives u know#sigh
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THE BRACKET IS HERE!!! \^-^/
side A will be posted on mondays and side b will be posted on wednesdays till we get to the final 2 ^-^
polls will be linked here once posted ^-^
Joehillssays vs Keralis01
#poll bracket#xisuma#xisumavoid#hermitblr#mcytblr#(im gonna be real here. i don't feel like tagging everyone that is in the bracket lmao)#(and if anyone is curious. i am using a google slides thing for the brackets because i thought it would be easier. i dont think it was lmao
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thinking about the internal logic for the magic system for my original stuff again. thinking about the fact that i spent a year writing (good!) and did not touch my original stuff at all (not great lmao) and that now that i've got myself back on the right path (words!) and have tried to beat into my silly, stubborn head that the important thing is to get things done and out of my sweaty, scared hands instead of clutching them too tightly and far too long trying to focus on making them as good as they can be (sigh), i really, really gotta apply that to my original stuff this next year (SIGH) even when i really don't wanna (SIGHHHHHHHH) so. yeah. i should probably crack that sucker open again and at the very least reread it. AFTER i finish this fic that i was supposed to finish last weekend lmao (say it with me: sigh).
#stretching that writing muscle tag#SIGHHHHHHHHHH#am i gonna be happy with what i have or am i gonna loathe it that's the question. i usually like my stuff well enough when it's done BUT#it's NOT done. and also. also. original stuff is. incredibly more vulnerable. so. WE'LL SEE. i don't wanna reread it.#i've reread it SO MANY TIMES but it's been SO LONG. i mean: literally a year. but i gotta. i gotta. first tho: gotta finish this sex ed fic#btw: despite me squawking about kirk & spock being manipulative freaks in this story? turns out MCCOY is the one who fully fucked up lmao#it's about time i cut spock and kirk a break tbh. none of that 'everyone is right and everyone is wrong' nonsense HERE.#leonard mccoy you fucked up so bad <333333333 it's okay we all forgive you <333333333333#i just wanna play stardew valley tbh i don't wanna write at ALL but i'm gonna be good and at the very least write my 500 words!#HOPEFULLY more. it's not gonna be done tonight though i'm pretty sure. okay byeeeeeeee
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youtube
hai guys :3
#my video lol#my audio lol#vocaloid cover#synthv cover#synthesizer v cover#genbu#genbu synthv#evil food eater conchita#i am forcing everyone to look at this. look at my guy ehehehhkjnjkhgmlb AFTER TWO WHOLE ASS YEARS FINALLY#i couldve probably put more effort into this but ITS BEEN IN HERE FOR 2 YEARS i wanna be done w/ it already 😭#so regardless if it kinda sucks a little bit; its wayyy better than the covers i made like ~4? years ago when i was first starting out#was the iku drawing i posted before this foreshadowing?? not necessarily but its rly funny to think abt in hindsight#also rip genbu in a dress that i was gonna draw for this originally 😔✌️ i'd really love to draw more stuff for these covers i make#but it usually never comes out the way i want it to and i figure editing some sorta visualizer like this is better#than keeping some things trapped in my files for so long purely bc my extra ass wants a cool pv. some day maybe but not now#some sick fuck unsubscribed from me after i posted this BYE BITCH i dont miss you at all. live laugh love genbu in this house /j#im not the most obnoxious genbu stan i'd say but you WILL respect him in my house i do not tolerate genbu slander i love that man your hono#yes im extremely based bc he (and eleanor) were THE very first vsynths i ever actually fucked around w/ programwise#but WHATEVER!! idc he is so dear to me i do not regret buying his full version at all (it was impulsive)#the only synth i'd actually consider myself kinda good at tuning LMAO ik people hate how he sounds and have issues w/ him but not me...#these tags are too long girl stfu. anyways tldr; look at silly thang i made w/ my silly man#i love genbu and i love songs about cannibalism <3#Youtube
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NAMI NEEDS TO GO UP THERE AND FIGHT BIG MOM I AM SO SERIOUS!!! THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE ROMANCE DOWN TRIO!! SANJI DO NOT DARE TAKE HER SPOT!!!
#big mom just giving birth here on the battlefield.....#do i comment on the incestuous relationship between clouds made of the same soul??? no?? okay...#oh jesus.... goodbye kid and killer.... nami needs to get up there and take control of zeus and i am so serious#HER SKILL IS SO POWERFUL AND SO PERFECT FOR THIS FIGHT AGAINST BIG MOM BUT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT PART OF THE STRONG TRIO SHE GETS STUCK WITH#THE B LIST VILLAINS!!!! LKKE WHY DOES SHE NEED TO FIGHT ULTI?? OKAY THAT WAS MEANINGFUL BUT THAT COULD END THERE!!!!#SANJI GO FIGHT PAGE ONE!!! SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF ULTI AND LET LUFFY ZORO AND NAMI TAKE CARE OF KAIDO AND BIG MOM!!! I AM SERIOUS!!!#big mom is inside the castle.... maybe i will get my wish granted (kinda...)#kid and nami against big mom.... maybe sanji can join... i can see it so clearly.... come on now.....#if namo knew armor haki she would have gone up there and taken zeus and dealt with prometheus and his sister wife. let the others w/ big mom#fucking hawkins... end him killer.... calling him domesticated lmao... end his pathetic ass#using conqueror's haki on the weapons..... also zoro having it too.... the flower petals symbolism..... OHHHHHHHHH#nani indeed...... BREAK THAT MACE!!!! YEAAHHH!!!! law is completely baffled#KAIDO GOT SENT BACK!!!! LETSGOOOOO AND THE OG INTRO MUSIC QUICKS IN!!!! law just saw god again....#he said fuck off i got this.... omg.... he is either gonna nearly die and doesn't want them to follow or doesn't want to worry about them#while he fights and they try to defend him.... no other explaination (apart for 4 the plot reasons)#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1028#luffy king of everything that was such a slay#they changed luffy chiquito's design....#i was gonna say luffy swimming...... but he can't yet akdhajsj#yasopp taking care of everyones children but his own...... i see how it is....#WHY WOULD SHANKS STAY IN GOA IF NOT TO TALK WITH GARP WHO LIVES THERE!!! I AM TELLING YOU SHANKS IS IN KAHOOTS WITH THE MARINES!!!!#i was thinking about shanks scar... and thought it might be from buggy with his three knives in between his fingers you know#but it is too small... like the knives would take more space.... but maybei might be reaching and it is from buggy and not like a little paw#or little hand.... however much distrubing you want to paint it....#shanks is testing little luffy's intelligence... he knows his weak spot already akdhjasj#uta calling herself a diva.... ajshaksn might this be the reason luffy was so inclined to having a musician since the start???#episode 1029#that was like a perfectly realistic relationship between an older smartass girl and a younger boy lmao it was spot on
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Doubling up on my cosplay efforts and making that fish scarf and shirt and also that angel's crop top armour
#looking at the armour top pieces like. what is this 😭 considering fabric glue for it bc I'll need it for the helmet too#i am. not super satisfied with how the helmet is looking rn but i know everyone hates making it so I'm trying to not let it get to me#i need to finish the skirt pieces bc they're holding 90% of my pins rn and it's making cutting the fish shirt pieces harder#honestly excited to work on seb's coat bc i wanna add a billion pockets to it and actually use them#considering making like. tiny little files to keep on me and give to ppl who chat with me bc that would be kind of cute#thinking back hard to the pouf cosplayer i met while also dressed as Pouf who had a few sheets of butterfly stickers#and gave me some that i stuck on my con badge#i still wanna do gabe's swords. augh. i have the cardboard and enough vinyl for the sheaths..#hello. welcome to another installment of shai making financially irresponsible decisions-#i do have some uhhhhhh debt i would like to get resolved bc I'm putting money towards the new car#and found out how hard my credit has been getting hit when i saw the shit tier apr on the estimated monthly payments 😭#gonna circle around comms again after the con so i can try to get a better grip on it bc i have been trying to cut it down#wanted to do it this holiday season and then. tree branch car crush extravaganza happened#did find out i can save a decent amount of money by not just getting an oven bake meal every night and actually cooking lmao#I'm losing the plot in the tags here but uh. the hilarity and mild hypocrisy is not lost on me#shai speaks
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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hey so i completed How to Court Your Life Partner
you don't fucking understand how much that hit so good. the descriptions of the weather are my top fucking favourite and the way it was implemented was like it was 100% made for me im gonna kms NOW.
Again not a big fan of pet names that often but it wasn't that big of a deal with overall how well it was written. The conflict was insanely good because for one it never was something out of the blue for the reader, you knew this was bound to happen because Reg was so far up his ass he didn't see it coming and the way his words affected RHM. I fucking adore conflict when it isn't mindless and badly executed, it's so good and you could absolutely fucking see how much it build the character of Reg upon fucking up big time, despite even if he was still not able to get through to RHM right away. and just the issue RHM was having about his past?? my god that was written carefully too even if some things went over my head beacuse i kept getting distracted *@&@*! but hooooooooooly shit man . oh my god. the character build up was so good im ripping my sheets apart as we speak. THE SNOW CABIN CHAPTER MADE ME 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
also the sven chapter help help help that poor fucking boy did NOT see that coming
#i need. to draw. i have to fucking draw at least 10 drawings to incapsulate every chapter in 1 image but you know me im gonna draw more of#the chapters that gave me emotional disasters#but also the more intimate scenes lolz#i need to draw you can't just do this to me man i am BUSY yet here i am. fucking dying#thank g od people used to (this fic) and still (today's fics) do write rhm as equally emotionally in love too with reg because some people#do Not do justice by making rhm completely uninterested in reg and that just irks me lmao#not because ohh fave ship but if any couple was written as one sided without any good plot point i would kill everyone in this room and the#myself#no more holding myself back from not reading long copperright fics#i need to attack on sight and read it at LEAST start reading it and then save the rest for later even though that would damage me#but i gotta train myself lmao#copperright#tagging for MYSELF#beacuse im a sick and twisted person right now thinking about the fic constantly. 10/10 i swear#even if the petnames are not my thing that's just me#the physical affection was perfect for me and that's what matters#hi guys
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Here's something crazy... Still haven't watched Bridgerton s3, but seeing everyone fawn over the kanthony cameos, and then now having moved on to just fawning over iconic kanthony scenes apparently in response to it, has got me like sdkfa;sdfkadsk ABOUT TO REWATCH S2.....!!! AGAIN....!!!!
I saw the Dancing On My Own first dance scene on my timeline like 3x today and I'm foaming at the mouth, have been thinking about them all day LMAO
#ive mentioned the show here and there i think but idk if ive mentioned im... crazy about them LMAO#it was a slowburn on me too bc i put off watching s2 since idgaf about anthony#but everyone was raving about their chemistry and kate was so beautiful that eventually i watched it and#it rly is lightning in a bottle w those two#in that dancing on my own scene the way they look at each other rly feels like they are the only 2 in that room together it takes me tf out#anyway this post brought to u by me realizing i hadnt logged my tumblr back in on laptop since getting it worked on#and also being stressed and avoidant so here i am making a long ass text post w rambling tags about NOTHING#no no im gonna watch s3 first tho im gonna watch it... i just dgaf about colin EVEN MORE than i used to feel about anthony#look i know no one here cares about bridgerton but unfortunately I DO#also i keep trying to remember to get active on tumblr and dont remember how to write posts so heres this#text posts#i have a lot more to say but it is truly aimless rambling i have no organized thoughts to share about this show goodbye
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tried to do some writing but i got all of like three sentences out before i got frustrated and gave up, so 🤷
#I'm feeling just. so down lmao#I was already not doing great but that dr appointment on sunday really kicked me while I was down ig#so frustrated and disheartened and stuck under this crushing hopelessness/pointlessness of it all#gonna just. have a drink & maybe play some dbd or ow or smth#not the best coping mechanism I know but it's what I've got rn. it lightens the burden a little for the night.#love y'all. sorry again for all the nothing I've written lately. I appreciate y'all sfm for sticking around#and even giving my kids over here a chance despite how impossibly slow I am with byan's threads#hell I'm grateful that you all even gave byan a chance too#just. yeah. I'm lurking. hope everyone has a nice night 💜💜💜#♡ ⁄ 𝙾𝙾𝙲#personal cw#alcohol cw#idk ask to tag ig bc this whole post is just depressing & I'm sorry about that adjgksh
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*covered in blood, gore, and tears* i finished editing
#we finally have a first draft of section one !!#idk what i’m gonna do w it but it’s done !!#im too shy to share any of my writing so i’m like. why am i putting in all this work#idk maybe i’ll get brave someday and let someone read it��#but also i don’t think anyone would ever be interested cause everyone except my therapist that i bring it up to#just brushes me off#which is sad :(#id like to share my work w ppl but most ppl just make me feel like. idk like no one cares#and it’s rlly important to me so it’s sad no one wants to even feign interest…#i claim i like writing and then make no sense here in the tags lmao :’)#idk what i’m gonna d w my writing but at least i’m doing it..#snow.txt
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//sorry i haven't been working on replies lately! you see, it's because [mid-sentence i slowly lie down on the floor and start crying really hard. i do not finish my explanation]
#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc}#//feel free not to read the tags b/c i'm gonna scream a bit#//moved in last week and already we may end up with two more people in this apartment#//bc two of my roommate's partners both need a place to stay#//and like with the one we've had some time to talk and prepare#//but with the other it's like oh ok she's moving in this weekend. non-negotiable huh. ok#//i want to scream cry and throw up lmao i am not emotionally prepared for there to be four people here#//especially b/c i don't know either of them suuuuper well just yet#//and rn i'm doing the bulk of the cleaning in the apartment which i don't mind! because i'm happy to help!#//roommate has a lot of other stuff she's worrying about and i understand and want to take the load off#//but i think if i see one more dirty pot i might start crying#//which as we all know is a normal reaction#//(that's sarcasm if that's not clear)#//i know i need to say something and insist on better communication#//because this is not malicious on my roommate's part. i know that. it's just a miscommunication#//anyway yeah i keep mentally coming back to the fact that my room isn't even fully unpacked yet lmao#//bc now we gotta get shit together to make sure everyone has somewhere to sleep n such#//and yes it's bc i haven't asked for help. i am aware. that's on me#//but damn.#//ok this got long jesus-#//if you read this i am giving you a high five but if not i understand lmfao#vent cw#negative cw
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