#i am not at all brave enough to actually put real worms in my food lol i’m so sorry rio

[akkivee]

they say a meal of earthworms can provide your recommended intake of iron, protein, amino acids and calcium!!!!! so!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fai-marie-521]

An Unexpected Tagalong (P.4)

    An Unexpected Tagalong:

(Hello! I hope you enjoy the third chapter! I would love to hear what you all think and any constructive criticism is gladly taken. I want to get better! ^-^)

In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort. Estella Took loved the comfort of her home. The smell, the sounds. But something was always missing. She was a Took after all. She had the need for adventure in her blood. The stories she has read by her fireplace have twisted her mind and she often daydreamed of adventures of her own. Little did she know that on her 35th birthday, she would get exactly what she always dreamed of.

Main Characters: Estella Took, Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins

TW: None, I don’t think. If I’m wrong please tell me and I will fix it right away!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ When the house grew quiet, Estella grew eerie. Just a moment ago the house was booming with happiness and laughter. Now it was so quiet she could hear her own heartbeat. Boom, boom. It steadily beat against her chest. Estella and her cousin follow the wizard to greet the newcomer. The other dwarves watched from the distance. They all stood as tall as they can. Their chests puffed out proudly. Whoever was waiting beyond the door, the dwarves held to high regard. Estella didn't know it but she held her breath within her lungs. With anticipation building up inside of her, she stands close to Bilbo, a stern grip on his forearm. Bilbo wouldn't admit it to Estella but he was so curious. Deep down he was actually excited. Gandalf slowly opened the door, and there he stood. A dwarf with sharp features. Long black hair. His eyes glanced around the house quickly and when Estella met his her breath hitched. Blue meeting brown. Ocean washing up onto Earth. Time felt so slow in that split second their eyes met. Bilbo stared in awe of this man as well. He wasn't like the other dwarves, though he bared some qualities that were similar to Kili and Fili.

Estella's mouth urged to drop open when the dwarf walked in and talked. His voice gravelly and deep. It was like a symphony. Almost beautiful from words so common. "Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find." He grumbled. The man was grumpy. He wore it on his face in a scowl-like frown. Estella might've thought that he was just pissed off but soon she would find out that it was his resting face. " I lost my way, twice." He clips off his cloak and drapes it over his arm.

Estella raises a brow. Was the Shire really that complicated? The others seemed to have no trouble. The man glances at the open door behind him. " I wouldn't have found it at all, had it not been for that mark on the door." He says. Bilbo almost looked like he was going into cardiac arrest. "Mark?" He gasped. "There's no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!" Estella laughs nervously when Bilbo goes to examine his door. She quickly slides between him and his entrance, closing the door with her rear. "Better if you don't look at it, don't you think?"

"There is a mark, I've put it there myself," Gandalf admits, almost quietly. The disapproving look that Bilbo had for Estella quickly turned to the tall wizard. There is an awkward pause before Gandalf continues. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." Thorin looked over Bilbo. He looked down at him as if he was prey. Bilbo shifted his weight to each foot uncomfortably under Thorin's gaze.

"So, this is the hobbit." Thorin scoffs. He hands his cloak to Kili, retaining eye contact with Bilbo." Tell me, Mr.Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

Bilbo's head slightly tilts and he chuckles as if what Thorin said was a joke, "Pardon me?" He shared a confused look with Estella quickly before turning his attention back to the dwarf.

"Axe or sword, what's your weapon of choice?" The question made Estella wanted to laugh. The image of her Bilbo carrying an axe far too large for him, trying to swing it and ultimately falling on his butt. Thorin begins to circle around Bilbo.

"Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know. But I fail to see why that's relevant."

The second-hand embarrassment spread over Estella. Her cheeks grew pink for Bilbo while he remained absolutely clueless. Thorin shakes his head, " I thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." Bilbo scoffs, offended as the other dwarves laugh.

"Now, now!" Estella barks in Bilbo's defence. "Bilbo may not be experienced in the way of a warrior, but if you're looking for a hobbit then Bilbo is the best you'll get!" Bilbo flashed her a horrified look. A tad bit grateful but none-the-less horrified.

The dwarves' laughter died down when Thorin looks past Bilbo and straight at Estella. She stared into his deep blue eyes and could've sworn she was drowning. His stare was so heavy but she stood her ground underneath it. "Who might you be? Mrs.Baggins?" He asks.

"Ugh, no!" She groans. Estella has had to answer that question far too many times tonight. She lets out a sigh, releasing her annoyed feelings along with the exhale. "I am Estella Took. Bilbo's cousin."

Thorin glanced her over, an eyebrow arched. "Greetings." He mumbled. Bilbo gave his cousin a thankful look before going to settle their new guest down in the dining room. A warm plate of food was given to the dwarven prince, and then the discussions were started. The dim lighting was a perfect ambiance for the feeling of the room. While the dwarves talked, Estella and Bilbo stayed toward the back close together, watching and listening to every detail.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asks curiously.

Thorin gives the old warrior a nod: "Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms." The dwarves happily give little cheers.

Dwalin hums, looking intently at his prince, "And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?"

Thorin sucks in a breath as if he was scared to reveal what his cousin had said. "They will not come." He finally admits. The entire table of dwarves groans in disappointment. Their expressions express almost sadness that their kin will not assist them. "They say our quest is ours and ours alone."

"So it's true? You really are going on a quest then?" Estella suddenly butts in. She hadn't meant to intrude but her words poured out of her mouth before she could stop them. Thorin looks at the halfling and before he could reply Gandalf coughs quickly. "Bilbo, my dear fellow, could we have some more light?" He asks.

Bilbo, still intrigued by the happening going on in his dining room, clicks out of his little wonderland and nods, "Oh yes, of course." The hobbit quickly goes to retrieve a candle to provide more light to his guests. Once Bilbo leaves the room, Gandalf takes out a worn-out, folded paper from his grey robe. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak," He lays the parchment flat before Thorin. Estella couldn't help to get a closer look at the scroll. A map! She looked over Thorin's shoulder in awe. A real-life map, like from her books! Bilbo swiftly returns with the candle, holding it over Thorin's left shoulder. Both halflings stare at the map, their eyes twinkling in wonder. Gandalf points at an ink mountain upon the parchment. "The Lonely Mountain," Bilbo reads. His voice was low but curiosity was laced in the words. Gloin nods, "Aye! Oin has read the portents, and the portents say: it is time."

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold. When the birds of the old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end." Oin confirms.

Bilbo looks around, "I'm sorry... 'beast?'"

"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the terrible," Bofur says, almost a little too cheery. "chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals."

"A dragon then?" Estella asks in an excited tone. Bilbo couldn't believe the excited expression Estella wore at the mention of the fire drake. Ori suddenly rises to his feet. "I'm not afraid, I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of the dwarfish iron right up his jacksy!" He exclaims bravely. Estella couldn't help but grin at the courage of the small dwarf. His friends around him cheer him on until Dori pulls the lad back into his seat.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen," Baline begins. He looks around at his brethren, not exactly in a fond way. "and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest."

The dwarves begin to argue amongst themselves at that. Swearing that they are not dim. Fili hits the table, getting the attention of those around him, "We may be few in number. But we're fighters, all of us! To the last dwarf!"

Kili nods in agreement with his brother. "And you forget we have a wizard in our company, Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." He points out. Gandalf puts his hands up. "Oh, well. No, uh, I...I wouldn't say..." He stutters out.

Dori looks up at the wizard expectantly. "Well, how many then?! Go on, give us a number!"

The dwarves begin to argue once more. Voices growing angrier by the second. "Please... Please!" Bilbo tries to ask. Even Thorin's face was expressing annoyance toward the loud shouts.

Estella huffs at the dwarves. "Excuse me!" She shouts above the yelling. The dwarves grow quiet and look at the young hobbit. "Please, lower your voice. Heated voices will not solve anything." The dwarves mumble to themselves but remain quiet. Thorin gives her a pleased glance, and she bows her head at him as a "you're welcome."

"If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look East to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected," Thorin continues. "Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?" Thorin stands up and for a moment the company was united once more, cheering with their leader.

"You forget the front gate is sealed," Balin reminds them. The cheers die down into silence. "There is no way into the mountain."

Gandalf shakes his head. "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." He holds up a key. It was old looking. Sharp edges. Very dwarvish. The hobbits look at it fixedly. It was very new to them.

"How came you by this?" Thorin watches the key the moment Gandalf takes it out.

"It was given to me by your father by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." Gandalf hands the prince his birthright. Fili, on the other side of the table, smiles widely.

"If there's a key! Then there must be a door!" He exclaims.

Estella chuckles at the dwarves. Sure they might be great warriors, she thought to herself, but they sure aren't the smartest. Bookwise, anyways. Gandalf points to red markings on the map, to which Bilbo and Estella look closely at. "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls," Gandalf says.

"There's another way in!" Kili happily exclaims.

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar!" Ori says in realization.

Bilbo nods, still a little clueless. "Hmm. And a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine."

"And are you?" Gloin asks. Everyone looks to Bilbo, expecting an answer. Estella looks to him too, scared of what her dear, clueless cousin would say next.

"Am I what?"

"He says he's an expert!" Oin exclaims.

"Me? No! No, No, No! I...I'm not a burglar. I've never stolen a thing in my life."

"Bilbo has always had a good record," Estella admits. "But us hobbit's are very light on their feet! We are very good at sneaking about! If you need a burglar, Bilbo and I would be great for the job," She thinks of their times when they would hide from the Sackville-Bagginses, hoping to the gods that they wouldn't see them. They were pretty good at that. What's a little dragon? Estella semi-regretted what she had said when all eyes were on her now, including Bilbo's. He really wished she wouldn't include him in her lust for adventure. Sure, he shared that want but he refused to admit it.

"What?" She asks.

"We? Who says you were going, lassie?" Dwalin says, staring at her.

Estella turned red. She had not meant to include herself into the conversation... or maybe she did? The young lass always wanted an adventure, so when one showed up for her cousin...

"No offence Lady Took, but Bilbo nor you, are hardly burglar material," Balin says softly.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves. Especially for a young lady like you." Dwalin agrees.

Voices begin to rise again. Dwarves arguing. Upon the yelling and sudden rejection, Estella wanted to cry. Not because she isn't getting what she wanted but because she thought she might've found a way to get out of the Shire. Have a purpose other than reading and baking and eventually dying with a husband she wouldn't have loved and few children. Don't get her wrong! Estella loved families and children but she wanted more to life. She wasn't getting any younger. Bilbo somehow could feel her sadness, radiating off of her. He pulled her close by the shoulder as the dwarves argued louder and louder. "Enough!" Gandalf booms. A grey cloud rolls throughout the room, the lights dimming. His voice was like a crack of thunder forcing the dwarves to finally get quiet once more. "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!"

The two hobbits stared at the wizard, surprised by his outburst. "As Lady Took had said before, hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr.Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know," Gandalf glances toward Bilbo. ", including himself."

"I would also not look over Ms.Took here either! She has shown interest in your adventure, which is more than your own kin! She, along with her cousin, would be an amazing asset to the company," Gandalf vouches. The dwarves mumble and whisper to each other while the wizard sneaks a wink to the girl. She smiled happily at him. Gandalf was truly an outstanding man.

The wizard looks to Thorin, "You must trust me on this."

The dwarf sighs, nodding. "Very well, we will do it your way." He grumbles. "Give him the contract."

Bilbo shakes his head, "No! No... wait please!"

"We're in! We're off!" Bofur exclaims, smiling like a fool.

Balin gets out a folded piece of parchment. Holding it out to Bilbo. "It's just the usual. Summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." He tells him.

Bilbo takes the parchment. Estella stares at the contract in Bilbo's hand like it's gold. Her heart pounds so hard she can hear it in her own ears. It almost felt as if it would pounce right out of her chest. Especially when Thorin looks her straight in her eyes, "And if you would like to join your cousin, then sign underneath him. You are... welcome to join."

Just at that Bilbo's face grew pale. He looks at his cousin, lump in throat. "Please Bilbo, we must at least look at it!" Estella says.

"I- Estella, he literally said FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS- Does that not scare you?" Bilbo whimpers but sees his cousin's eyes. They were so bright. They have never, ever been this bright. "Very well, let's look at it." He unfolds the parchment. When it fell open, the contract was almost as tall as Bilbo himself. Bilbo glances over, reading out loud. Thorin in the dining room watches the two hobbits as they look over the terms. He looks at Gandalf, a serious frown on his face. He leans in and whispers sternly, "I cannot guarantee his safety, nor the girl's."

Gandalf frowns at that but nods. "Understood."

"Nor will I be responsible for their fate."

"...Agreed."

Bilbo follows the words with his finger, mumbling aloud with Estella watching over his shoulder. "'Total's cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding, one-fourteenth of total profit if any.'" He reads aloud.

"Seems fair," Estella says with a grin.

"Uh...' The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...lacerations. Evisceration...." He carries on. Bilbo unfolds more of the contract. His face grows pale for the tenth time that night as he reads the next word. "...Incineration?" Estella stares at the word in front of her. She wasn't afraid of the word. I mean, they were facing a dragon! Of course, this would be possible!

"Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye," Bofur confirms. Estella gave the dwarf a stern look as Bilbo begins to breathe heavily.

"Breath, dear. It's okay." Estella says sweetly, rubbing his back comfortingly. Bilbo shakes his head.

"Are you all right, laddie?" Balin asks.

"Huh?" Bilbo says, trying to catch his breath. "Yeah, I just feel- a little bit faint."

"Come on Bilbo, you should sit down," Estella whispers to him.

"Think furnace, with wings." Bofur grins. Not quite understanding that Bilbo is hyperventilating.

"I...I...I need air."

"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!"

Bilbo stares at Bofur in horror. He looks at the dwarves for a moment, and then his dear cousin. The image of him and worst of all her, becoming a pile of ash passes through his mind. "Nope." He mumbles, before falling backward onto the wooden floor unconscious. Estella gasped and hurried to his side. She glares at Bofur, who slightly cowers under her stare.

"He was obviously not comfortable with that! Why would you continue on?!" She scowls.

"I- sorry ma'am-"

"No. Shush." She snaps, shutting the dwarf up quickly. " Gandalf can you help me take him to his armchair?"

Gandalf stands up, walking to the halfling's side. "Of course Lady Took."

"Blasted dwarves, have no sympathy," Estella mumbles under her breath before helping Gandalf take Bilbo to his chair. The dwarves talk quietly amongst themselves, in fear that Estella might snap at them again. They were already very fond of the sweet girl but didn't wish to see her angry.

It didn't take long for Bilbo to wake up from his episode. Gandalf sighs in relief and glances over at Estell who held his hand by his side. "Do you need anything, dear?" She asks. Bilbo shakes his head and pats the top of her hand.

"I'm okay,"

"Lady Took, do you mind-" Gandalf asks, glancing at her and back at the archway.

"Oh no. Of course not," She says kindly. She smiles at Bilbo. "Call me if you need anything."

Estella leaves the room for the two to talk. She decides to walk back to the dwarves who still talked low. She sees some smoking, sipping their ale in silence, whispering to each other. In the hallway, near the room she had just left was Thorin Oakenshield and Balin. Thorin leaned against the wall of the hobbit hole and Balin sitting across from him.

When they see Estella, they sit up a bit straighter. Balin gives her a smile, to which she instantly returns. "How is the laddie doing?" Balin asks.

"Better. I think." Estella sighs.

"He's a bit squeamish," Thorin shakes his head.

"You can't exactly blame him. He's lived in a safe place for most of his life, this is new to him."

"What about you?" Thorin asks.

"What about me?"

"You haven't fainted yet," amusement was in the prince's voice.

Estella smiles slightly, "You're right. I won't lie, I've dreamed of an opportunity to get out of the Shire for years."

"Is that so?" Balin laughs.

"My father always told me of my ancestors. The warriors, the adventurers. It's in my blood," Estella sighs. "I need to get away. I mean, for the love of the gods, you all have been far kinder to me than my own people." Estella sighs. She glances over her should to look toward the room she left Bilbo in. " Bilbo doesn't understand I don't belong here."

Balin and Thorin look at her sympathetic eyes and she lets out a nervous laugh. "I apologize, I doubt you want to hear my life story. I always overshare to people that listen."

"Well, dearie, you are very welcome to our company." Balin kindly tells her. A comforting hand on her forearm.

"A strong, willing heart. That's very important. The world needs more of that," Thorin says, low. His eyes avoided Estella's but it was still very meaningful. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt accepted by him. Not fully but she had foot through through the door.

Suddenly, Bilbo hurries away from the room. Estella watches him with a large frown. Balin shakes his head in disappointment, "It appears we have lost our burglar. Probably for the best. The odds were always against us. After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers, toymakers. Hardly the stuff of legend..."

Thorin smiles down at his old friend. "here are a few warriors amongst us."

"Old Warriors," Balin frowns.

"I would take each and every one of these dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills, for when I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honor. I can ask no more than that." Thorin says fondly and Estella's heart flutters. His trust in these dwarves was heartwarming. Estella already knew that this man is someone she would gladly follow.

   "You don't have to do this. You have a choice. You've done honorably by our people. You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains. A life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor."

   "From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me. They dreamt of the day when the dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There is no choice, Balin. Not for me."

    Balin solemnly nods, standing up on his feet. "Then we are with you, laddie. We will see it done."

    The old dwarven warrior walks back to the company of dwarves, leaving Estella and Thorin. She peeks over at the dwarf who was actually taller than her. She hadn't realized how close she was until she looked over. He was beautiful with his strong jawline, long onyx hair, literally perfect skin. Who was this man? If she hadn't known any better, she would have thought he was a god of some sort. Thorin Oakenshield was surreal. "I am with you as well, sir'. If you will have me," Estella tells him softly.

      "Thank you, Lady Took. We are leaving at daybreak," He informs her.

      They lock eyes and she gives him a giant smile, in hope of getting him to. "You got it! Daybreak it is!" Estella nods. Thorin, to her disappointment, didn't smile back but he gave her a minute grin. Very, very minute. It was better than nothing she supposed. "Get some rest," He mumbles to her, then goes to join his kin. Estella kept smiling though he was gone. What a man. Then she remembered, Bilbo. She supposed she ought to Estella quickly turns and rushes off toward Bilbo's room. "Bilbo! Dear!" She calls out as she enters the room. And there he was leaning against his bedpost on the foot of his bed. He looked upset. Estella sits next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

     "You're going..." Bilbo mumbles. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

     "Yes."

    And that was that. They both just stared into the nothingness. Nothing but low voices beginning to sing. Low and rumbling voices filling the halls, with the sorrowful song of their lost home. The two hobbits listened together, solemnly.

  Far over the Misty Mountains cold.

  To dungeons deep and caverns old.

  We must away ere break of day.

  To find our long-forgotten gold.

 The pines were roaring on the height, the winds were moaning in the night.

  The fire was red, it flaming spread.

  The trees like torches blazed with light.

[shark-myths]

I was tagged by @beckettsthoughts,  which, thank you. <3 <3 <3

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the  questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your  questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

THEIR QUESTIONS

1. What is something  you’ve seen in person that you never thought you’d see in person? (E.g. rare  or bizarre wildlife, a dream destination, a celebrity)

Literally in a  parking lot I saw a raven using salsa. It was dipping its fucking parking lot  scavenge food in a little paper cup of SALSA. What the ACTUAL fuck???

2. What book/movie  do you keep saying you want to read/watch but know you probably never will?

Let’s be real, I am never going to get through The Silmarillion, I am a  low person of low quality

3. What song will  you forever associate with school dances or discos? 

GET LOW! And also, um, the Cha-Cha Slide. I’m old.

4. What’s your  favourite supermarket to shop at? Why is it better than all the others? 

Trader Joe’s. It is the fucking best in all ways. They have a lot of  random delicious items that I’m in love with, they have the best chocolate,  they have my favorite wine and it’s under $4 a bottle, they have dorky cute  house brands like “Trader Jose’s” for their Mexican food, I like their red  quinoa and dried pineapple and sweetened coconut chips and maple cookies, and  there are always samples and you can get produce there that actually has  flavor, is affordable, and is not ROTTEN like all the produce in Mississippi.  Also a favorite is ALDI, which is super cheap and offers pantry staples $2-3  cheaper than anywhere else and has a lot of types of food that are no longer  accessible to me now that we live somewhere without one—like, who can pay $8  for a pack of pancetta for her pizza sauce? Not this dude. At ALDI that shit  was $3. The working poor need dried Italian meats too.

5. Do you have any  local myths or legends? 

CUBA ROAD. It was just this creepy road and if you went down it at  midnight you would like, either not come back at all or come back horribly  changed. It was Haunted. No one I know who braved it ever saw anything but I also  only knew like, one person who dared try. I certainly didn’t.

6. How did you meet  your best friend? 

ON THE INTERNET READING FANFICTION, that’s actually how I meet almost  all of my significant relationships. not even joking. I just give my home address  and phone number to strangers on the internet, it’s been working out pretty  well the past 14 years

7. Think of the best  teacher you ever had at school, what were they like and why were they the  best?

to be honest with you, I have completed 24 years of formal fucking  education and I have had so many teachers, trying to pick the best one is  shredding my heart! I had one teacher for Anatomy who was really passionate  and gave us these embarrassing activities like doing autopsies on pickles  (she had dressed them up and given them wounds, like toothpick splinters and  ball-bearing bullets) and hypothesizing about cause of death; I had an  amazing ball-buster history teacher who yelled at me in class once for  working on homework for another teacher and from that moment on I adored her;  I had a really intelligent professor with really high standards who taught  psychopharmacology and I worked the hardest I ever have to do well in his  class because I respected him so much; I had a really excitable professor  from Luxemborg who I took a “gender benders” in lit and history class with  who was amazing and kind to me even though at that point I was too anxious to  ever speak; I recently took Medical Anthropology with a greek woman who  shouted about politics and biomedicine daily and just thinks about things as  a hobby and I want to be her when I grow up and she let me write my entire  term paper on how mad I was at sexism in my field of study.

The trends in what I like are: passion/enthusiasm; having high standards;  not being nice to me to try to get me to like them. because I’m broken in  strange and interesting way the quickest thing a teacher can do to lose my  respect is try to make me like them. Like, be kind of a dick to me and then  praise me for killing myself on papers to win your approval, that’s all I want.

8. Have you ever had  any funny holiday/vacation mishaps? 

once when I was interviewing for a graduate school program I was given  a hotel room by the school, which was pretty decent of them—they had this  weird on-site hotel—and I was all prepared to settle in, had my shit spread  all over both beds, when in came the OTHER APPLICANT I was apparently sharing  the room with. This was terribly embarrassing. I had an anxiety disorder at  the time, was easily embarrassed & soooooo behaviorally inhibited. Anyway,  long story short, I forgot to pack pajamas so instead of saying that like a  normal person, I just… pretended really casually like I always slept in the  same sweater I’d worn all day and wormed out of my jeans under the covers

9. Speaking of  holidays and vacations, what are the best and worst holidays you’ve ever been  on?

best: the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for my honeymoon, a spring  break trip to Toronto, a wedding in Martha’s Vineyard, going to Boulder for  the first time and spending a week with @simplydalektable and the way everything  was made of sunshine and gold and I didn’t need food or sleep or anything but  her

worst: when I was 15 and my parents took me and my half-brothers to a  remote cabin in the wilderness with no internet and it was during the days  when texting and phone calls like, existed but you had to pay tremendously to  enjoy them so they were Outlawed and everyone was tense and mad at each other  and bored because like, we are not equipped to socialize who would think locking  us all into one room was a good idea; once when I was depressed at Disney  World with my mom and all I could think about was how I was supposed to enjoy  it more and everyone was mad at me because I was an Angsty Adolescent; these  are pretty mild horrors, my life is pretty good

10. Do you collect  anything? Did you collect anything when you were younger?

I used to collect comic books with great seriousness! Now I collect  band shit and copies of Lord of the Rings, my favorite anything ever. I have  4 editions currently, which is not nearly enough. I collect books in general  with fervency.

11. What led you  create a tumblr blog, however long ago that may be? 

oh my god this is the most me thing ever, but there was an art festival  in the town I was living in and some old fucking white dude entered a project  that was Commentary On The Youths or some shit and used the selfies of young  girls that he took from the internet to criticize millennials for being  shallow???? Like, that is a form of cultural appropriation, these girls are  growing up in a society that allows them some modicum of control over their  own image and they’re using it to explore and define themselves and own their  own selves for one fucking moment in their lives, and You, some Gross Old  Dude, are just putting your slimy hands in there and like, trying to make a  Point about something you can’t possibly understand????? And I was so angry I  decided I was going to do my OWN selfie project (I’m in year 2 now; I was  daily in year 1 but I’ve been slacking the last six months), so I made this  blog, and for the first year I used it only for posting my daily selfies. like  every fucking other thing in my life, I created this blog out of pure rage.  (someday I will tell you the story of how I became so mad at the field of  clinical psychology that I decided to become a clinical psychologist, and  somehow powered through 8 years of torturous education on that anger alone)

And for the second  part of this, I tag @xabjectlessonsx @crhiscornell @syndestruction @time-less @immoral-crow @we-are-the-weirdos-mister @oceanjade345 and any of you lovelies who would like to!

MY QUESTIONS

1. What is the  sickest you’ve ever been and why?

2. What is your  favorite thing to drink?

3. What song do you  use to deal with your emotions? How does it work—does it suppress them or let  you express them?

4. If you could only  watch one movie for the rest of your life, it would be:

5. Favorite myth, legend, or fairy tale?

6. If you had a  perfectly self-centered wish you could make, what would you wish for?

7. Tell me about  your pets.

8. In your  opinion, what is the most perfect record ever made? (Doesn’t have to be your  favorite)

9. What’s your  favorite thing about space?

10. What are you  nostalgic for?

11. List 5  words you think everyone should start using more.